#like yeah I the medication isn’t going to cure me but what if it doesn’t make me an ‘zombie’ and I start to function correctly?

[carideatheecreative]

Villain Origin Backstory: Having Parents.

[inseobts]

HAII, I heard your request is now open again and I wanted to request this!

wherein the reader has feelings for (any character you want!) and they friend zone her, and she gets the hanahaki disease!😁 they don't tell anyone until they're almost at the brink of death. well, you can choose if the reader lives or not but the character you choose will happen to realize they do have feelings for the reader and they were only confused at the beginning!

it's kinda like angst sorry😅 But I really want to see something like this from you, since you are an excellent writer! ty smmm

Petals in Silence

zoro x fem!reader

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings for their love also disappear.

a/n: wrote about this for one of my old kpop fanfics so I got really exciting to write this again for a different media

words count: 4.0k

tags: illness, angst and fluff, chopper and law being good doctors, unrequited love, slow burn, emotional hurt

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

The first time you cough up a petal, it’s early morning.

You’re brushing your teeth in the bathroom when something tickles your throat. You cough once, then harder.

A soft, white petal drops into the sink.

You blink. Stare. It’s delicate. Real.

“What the hell…?”

You look up at the mirror. Your reflection stares back, pale and confused.

You cough again.

Another petal.

“No. No, no, no.”

You quickly wash the sink, flush the petals, and press a trembling hand to your mouth. You’re breathing fast now.

“What is this?” you whisper.

You sneak into the library on the ship when no one’s around. Robin might be there later, but right now it’s quiet.

You pull out an old medical book. Then another.

Finally, you find it.

Hanahaki Disease: A rare, fatal illness caused by unrequited love. The infected cough up flower petals as feelings deepen. The only cures are returned love… or surgery that erases all memory of the beloved person.

You reread it five times.

Then you sit back, stunned.

“No way...” you say out loud “That’s not real.”

But the pain in your chest disagrees.

You press your hand over your heart. It feels like something is blooming. Slowly. Cruelly.

You whisper the name you’ve been hiding in your heart for so long “…Zoro.”

You try to act normal during dinner. You sit beside Luffy and across from Zoro. You talk with Nami, laugh with Usopp. But you keep sneaking glances at him.

Zoro’s sipping sake, listening to Sanji rant about proper cooking technique. He doesn’t even look your way.

That tiny ache in your chest grows just a bit stronger.

You excuse yourself early and go to bed.

Later that night, Zoro finds you on the deck. You’re alone, staring at the sea. You don’t notice him until he speaks.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

You flinch a little “Oh yeah. Just thinking.”

He steps beside you. Arms crossed “You’ve been quiet lately.”

“I’m fine” you say quickly.

“Didn’t ask if you were fine,” he says, tone flat “I said you’ve been quiet.”

You don’t answer. You look away, afraid you’ll start coughing again.

“Anyway,” he says after a moment, “don’t push yourself too hard. You get weird when you're tired.”

You smile, small and sad “Thanks, Zoro.”

He nods and walks away, like nothing’s wrong. Like your heart isn’t trying to kill you.

You start avoiding him.

Not in a big, obvious way. Just enough to keep the pain small. Manageable.

You leave the room when he enters. You sit farther away at meals. You laugh at his jokes less. You pretend you’re busy when he trains, even though you used to watch him every day.

Still, he notices.

“You mad at me or something?” Zoro asks one afternoon.

You blink “What? No.”

He raises an eyebrow “You’ve been weird. Distant.”

You shrug “Maybe I’m just tired.”

He watches you, arms crossed “You’ve said that a lot lately.”

You force a smile “Guess I’m always tired.”

You walk away before you start coughing again.

Later that night, you’re alone again on the deck. Same spot. Same stars. Same sea.

Your chest feels heavy tonight. Your throat burns.

You cough hard. Petals. So many.

They spill from your mouth, red and white, soft and cruel.

You cover your mouth with your hand, trying to stop the sound, trying not to cry.

This is getting worse.

You fall to your knees.

It’s too late to stop it now.

The next morning, you can’t take it anymore.

You find Chopper in the infirmary. You pull him aside, whispering.

“Can I ask you something… privately?”

He looks up at you, curious “Of course. What’s wrong?”

You swallow hard “Do you know anything about… Hanahaki disease?”

His eyes widen.

“What?” he says “Why? Who—who has it?”

You don’t answer. Just pull a crumpled petal from your pocket and place it in his hand.

His face falls.

“Oh no… Y/N...” he whispers.

You don’t speak.

He looks at you with tears in his eyes “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

You give him the weakest smile “I didn’t want anyone to know. Especially not him.”

Zoro finds you the next day.

“You’ve been ignoring me” he says bluntly.

You sigh “I haven’t.”

“You have. What’s going on?”

You look at him. Really look at him.

Strong. Focused. Brave. And not yours.

You take a deep breath.

“Zoro,” you say softly, “do you see me as… anything more than a friend?”

He frowns “What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer.”

He looks confused for a second, then says, “You’re a great friend. You know that.”

Your heart cracks right there “I see.”

He tilts his head “Why?”

You shake your head and step back “No reason.”

“Wait—”

“I have to go” you whisper, already walking away.

You cough again as you turn the corner. This time, petals fall from your hands like snow.

You visit Chopper again the next day. This time, you don’t bother hiding the blood on your sleeve.

He panics the moment he sees you.

“Y/N, sit down, right now.”

You do.

He shines a light in your throat, listens to your breathing, checks your heartbeat. His hooves are trembling.

“Your lungs…” he says quietly “the flowers are growing faster.”

“I know.”

“You’re in the second stage. If this keeps up—”

“I know, Chopper.”

Silence.

You break it first.

“Is there any way to slow it down?” you ask, voice thin “Just a little?”

Chopper hesitates “I can give you medicine to ease the pain. But it won’t stop the petals.”

You nod. That’s enough. For now.

He wraps your wrist where you’d scratched it raw from coughing.

“You need to tell the others” he says softly.

“I can’t.”

“Y/N—”

“No.”

He looks at you, torn between doctor and friend. But he nods.

For now, he’ll keep your secret.

At lunch, you barely touch your food. Sanji notices right away.

“You feelin’ alright, sweetheart?” he asks, kneeling beside your chair with a plate in hand.

You blink “I’m fine.”

“Liar,” Nami says across the table “You look like a ghost.”

Usopp leans in “Have you been throwing up or something?”

Your grip tightens on your fork “Just tired.”

“You keep saying that,” Luffy mumbles with food in his mouth “You said that yesterday, and the day before that, and the—”

“I said I’m fine!” you snap.

Silence falls.

You don’t look at anyone. You stand quickly, chair scraping back.

“I’m sorry. I just... I need some air.”

You rush out before they see your hand fly to your mouth.

You cough behind a crate on the lower deck. Violet petals. Tiny thorns. Blood.

You shake as they fall into your palm.

Someone walks by above you, and you press your mouth shut until your lungs burn. You can’t let them hear.

You slide down to the floor, heart pounding.

You can’t keep this up much longer.

That night, Zoro knocks on your door.

You don’t answer.

He opens it anyway “Hey. We need to talk.”

You sit on your bed, facing the wall.

He walks in slowly “You’ve been avoiding everyone. Something’s wrong.”

You don’t move “I’m just tired.”

“That’s not gonna work anymore,” he says “Your voice is weak. You’re pale. And you’re breathing weird.”

You say nothing.

Zoro narrows his eyes “Did someone hurt you?”

That makes you laugh. It’s a broken sound “No. Not someone.”

He waits.

You finally turn toward him, eyes glassy “I think I’m sick, Zoro.”

He steps closer “Sick how?”

You look down at your hands. But you don’t answer.

Not yet.

He understands and leaves you alone.

It’s been weeks.

You’re coughing more now. Petals come in waves, in your sleep, in the middle of meals, behind closed doors. You can barely hide it anymore. Chopper’s running out of ways to explain your pale skin and shaking hands.

Then one afternoon, Law steps onto the Sunny.

The crew cheers, it’s been a long time since you’ve seen the Heart Pirates. But you don’t move from the railing. Your body feels too heavy.

Zoro notices.

So does Chopper.

Later, Chopper finds you in the infirmary, Law just behind him.

He stares at you for a long moment, then sighs “Chopper told me everything. Including the petals.”

Your breath catches.

Chopper looks hopeful, desperate even “He thinks he can do the surgery. It’s risky, but it might work.”

You go cold “The memory one?”

Law nods “I can remove the infection. The petals. You’ll survive. But you’ll forget everything tied to the person who caused it.”

You don’t even have to think.

“No.”

Chopper gasps “What? Y/N, you’re dying.”

“I don’t care,” you whisper “I don’t want to forget him.”

Law watches you carefully “You’d rather die than let go?”

You nod.

There’s a pause. Then Law gestures for Chopper to leave the room.

He does, slowly.

Now it’s just you and Law.

“I don’t do emotional attachments” he says, leaning against the wall “But even I know this is stupid.”

You laugh bitterly “Yeah. It is.”

He folds his arms “You sure he doesn’t feel anything for you?”

“He made it clear,” you say, staring at the floor “He sees me as a friend. That’s all.”

Law raises an eyebrow “You asked him?”

“Of course, I'm dying... I asked if he could ever see me as more. He said I’m a great friend. That’s it.”

He doesn’t reply for a moment. Then quietly, he says, “You should tell him about the disease.”

You look up sharply “No. That’s the one thing I won’t do.”

“Why?”

Your voice cracks “Because I don’t want to be loved out of pity. I want it to be real. Not because I’m dying.”

Behind the cracked door, someone stands frozen.

Zoro.

He hadn’t meant to listen. He was just walking by.

He wasn’t trying to find you. Not on purpose.

But now your words are echoing in his head, and they won’t stop.

“I don’t want to forget him.”

“I want it to be real.”

He feels like something is unraveling in his chest.

Suddenly, memories flood in. You watching him train. Laughing at his jokes. Smiling when you thought he wasn’t looking. Bleeding silently.

And him, brushing you off. Pushing the feelings down. Because love was a weakness. A distraction. Something he couldn’t afford.

But now you're dying, and it’s his fault you’re alone.

He presses his hand to the wall beside the door.

“Idiot” he whispers.

He doesn’t even know if he means you or himself.

Zoro doesn’t sleep that night.

He leans against the railing of the upper deck, sword resting by his side, your words stuck in his mind like a thorn he can’t pull out.

“I want it to be real.”

“I don’t want to forget him.”

He tightens his grip on the hilt.

He doesn’t understand everything about emotions... hell, he usually avoids them altogether but he’s not dumb.

He heard enough to know what this is.

Enough to know you’ve been dying quietly, and everyone’s been hiding it from him.

The next morning, he finds Chopper in the kitchen, alone, fiddling with a pile of vitamins and bandages.

Zoro crosses his arms and speaks flatly “What’s wrong with her?”

Chopper freezes “W-Who?”

Zoro just stares.

Chopper sweats “You mean…uh…Nami? I think she had a cold last week—”

“Y/N” Zoro says, voice sharp “Don’t play dumb.”

Chopper drops the spoon in his hoof “Oh.”

Zoro leans in, towering over the small reindeer “I heard Law talking to her. I heard enough. Now tell me everything.”

Chopper swallows “I-I promised not to—”

“Chopper.”

“I—I mean—she’s—”

He folds immediately “Okay! Okay! It’s Hanahaki!”

Zoro stiffens “Hanahaki…?”

“She’s been coughing up petals for weeks. She’s in stage two, probably. Her lungs are already getting worse. If she doesn’t get surgery, she’ll—” Chopper gulps before continuing “She’ll die.”

Zoro goes completely still.

“And it’s because of—” Chopper shuts his mouth with both hooves.

“Because of what, Chopper?”

“I—I can’t say that part—”

Zoro crouches down, voice low “Is it because of me?”

Chopper's eyes fill with panic.

“That’s a yes.”

“Zoro...”

He stands up suddenly, knocking over a chair. His jaw clenches.

Chopper reaches out “Please don’t get mad at her! She didn’t want to say anything. She didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want to make you feel bad—”

Zoro turns away, fists clenched “She’s dying and she’s worried about me?”

“She loves you,” Chopper says quietly “But she’d rather die than force you to love her back.”

Zoro doesn’t answer.

He just stands there, breathing hard and then he walks out.

Fast.

Not toward you.

Not yet.

He needs to get his head straight because for the first time in a long time, Zoro is afraid.

Not of losing a fight.

But of losing you.

You’re sitting alone in the small reading room on the Sunny, legs tucked up beneath you, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. A book is open on your lap, unread. The words blur. Your head throbs.

You’ve been coughing all morning. You can taste iron in the back of your throat.

You hear the door open and close behind you.

You don’t look up “Chopper, I already took the medicine—”

“It’s not Chopper.”

Your breath catches.

You look up.

Zoro.

Standing there, arms crossed. Shadows under his eyes. A strange look on his face — like something sharp and unfinished.

You blink slowly “What do you want?”

He walks forward. No swords. No usual swagger. Just…Zoro.

“I know” he says.

Your stomach drops.

“I know everything. Hanahaki. The petals. That it’s because of me.”

You go still.

“I didn’t want you to find out,” you say quietly “Not like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t want your pity.”

He sits across from you. His eyes are unreadable.

“You didn’t want to tell me... but you told Law?”

You wince “Chopper dragged him in. Said he could save me.”

Zoro stares at you for a moment. Then “You turned down the surgery.”

“Yes.”

“Because you didn’t want to forget.”

“Yes.”

Silence.

You speak first “I asked you once if you saw me as anything more than a friend. You said no.”

“I said you’re a great friend,” Zoro says “But I didn’t say no.”

You freeze “That’s not what it felt like.”

He leans forward “I didn’t answer you honestly. I didn’t want to answer.”

You whisper “Why?”

His voice is low “Because I was scared it would mess everything up. You’re... you’ve always been close. If I let myself feel something else, I thought it would get in the way.”

“Of your goal,” you say “Becoming the world’s strongest swordman.”

He nods once “I told myself there was no room for anything else.”

Your hands are shaking in your lap.

“And now?” you whisper.

Zoro hesitates. For the first time in forever, he looks unsure.

“I don’t know,” he says “But when I heard what you said to Law… that you’d rather die than forget me… I realized I don’t want to lose you.”

Your heart slams against your ribs.

“I don’t know if I deserve this,” he says “But I want to try. If you’ll let me. I should’ve said it before you ever started coughing.”

Zoro’s confession echoes in the small room.

You sit there for a long moment, stunned, heart beating so fast it hurts more than your lungs.

But the pain in your chest doesn’t stop. In fact, it starts to burn.

That isn’t supposed to happen.

“I…” You swallow hard, forcing your voice to stay calm “Can I ask something?”

Zoro looks at you, still tense “Yeah.”

You grip the blanket tighter around your shoulders “Do you actually mean it? Or are you just saying that because you don’t want me to die?”

He flinches.

You nod slowly “That’s what I thought.”

Zoro opens his mouth, but you cut him off.

“It’s okay. Really. You don’t have to feel guilty. I’m... glad you care. But you don’t have to pretend to love me. That would hurt more.”

His jaw tightens “I’m not pretending.”

You give him a sad smile “Zoro... if this was real, the petals would’ve stopped by now.”

You cough hard. A violent shake rips through your chest, and something wet and warm fills your palm.

You look down.

A full, red flower lies there, soaked in blood.

Your fingers tremble as you wipe it away, turning your face from him.

“See?” you whisper.

Zoro doesn’t say anything.

He just leaves.

He storms through the Sunny like a blade cutting through mist.

Straight to the infirmary.

Chopper and Law both look up from the counter.

Zoro slams his hands down “Why isn’t she better?”

Chopper blinks “Wh-What?”

“I told her. Everything. I confessed. So why is she still coughing up flowers?!”

Law stands slowly “Did she believe you?”

“What?”

Law narrows his eyes “Hanahaki is rooted in emotion, not logic. You can say whatever you want but if she doesn’t believe it in her heart, it won’t stop.”

Zoro’s throat goes dry.

“She thinks I said it out of pity...” he mutters.

Law’s voice drops “Then her body still thinks it’s unrequited.”

Zoro swears under his breath.

Chopper tugs at his sleeve, eyes big and worried “Zoro, she’s getting worse. No matter what I give her, the petals will start to grow into her lungs. They’ll wrap around her ribs. After that...”

He doesn’t finish the sentence.

Zoro steps back.

He’s never felt so helpless.

“I’ll fix it” he says, turning toward the door.

Law raises a brow “How?”

Zoro doesn’t answer because he doesn’t know yet. But he’s sure of one thing, this time, words aren’t enough.

The sun is setting. Gold light spills over the deck of the Sunny.

You sit alone again, wrapped in your blanket, watching the sea blur into the sky. The petals are getting worse now, they come up more easily, more violently. You can feel them in your lungs even when you're not coughing.

You don’t know how much time you have left.

You don’t hear Zoro approach.

He stands beside you silently for a few seconds. Then, without a word, he sits down.

You look at him. His expression is unreadable. Focused. But his eyes are storming.

“I’m not good at this” he says quietly.

You don’t answer.

He pulls something from his waist. A worn cloth. He unfolds it slowly.

Inside is a small charm. Hand-carved wood, shaped like a sword crossed with a flower.

Your breath catches.

“I made it back on Wano,” he says “Took me three days. I almost threw it out. Thought it was stupid.”

He doesn’t look at you. Just the charm.

“I didn’t know why I was making it. I told myself it was just something to pass the time. But I carried it with me every day since.”

“Why are you showing me this?”

Zoro finally turns to you.

“Because I didn’t just come here to say something this time. I’m here to prove it.”

He places the charm in your lap.

Then Zoro kneels.

Your heart skips “Zoro—what—”

“I’m not asking you to believe me because I said I care,” he says, voice rough “I’m asking you to believe me because I was a coward, and I missed my chance, and I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”

You stare at him, stunned.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he continues “Not because I feel guilty. Not because you’re sick. Because I’ve loved you longer than I was willing to admit.”

Your eyes well with tears. You shake your head “But... Zoro... why didn’t you—”

“Because I thought I couldn’t afford it” he says “But I realized... what’s the point of becoming the world’s strongest swordsman if you’re not there to see it?”

Your lungs seize.

You cough.

A petal falls into your palm.

Just one.

Small.

Thin.

You stare at it.

Zoro sees too. And for the first time you see hope in his eyes.

It’s slow.

You still wake up coughing sometimes but not with blood anymore. Not with full blossoms tearing your throat raw.

Now, it’s just a few pale petals, thinner than paper. Some mornings, none at all.

You’re healing.

And every time you wake up, Zoro is there.

Not hovering. Just close. Training. Napping with one arm slung over a chair. But always there.

He doesn’t say much. He lets his presence do the talking.

One night, you sit outside the infirmary, wrapped in a jacket that’s obviously not yours, too big, too warm. Smells like steel, sweat, and something familiar.

Zoro’s jacket.

He comes up beside you, leaning against the wall.

You glance at him “Still watching me?”

“Still making sure you don’t keel over,” he says “It’d ruin my day.”

You laugh softly “Chopper says the petals might stop completely soon.”

He nods “Good.”

You look at him “Do you remember what you said? On the deck. About… me seeing you become the world’s strongest swordman?”

Zoro doesn’t look away “Yeah.”

“Do you still want that?”

“More than ever.”

You swallow “And… do you still mean it? What you said about loving me?”

Zoro turns to you fully.

“I’ve said a lot of things I didn’t mean in my life,” he says “But that wasn’t one of them.”

Silence.

Then you reach out, fingers brushing his hand.

“Zoro?”

He meets your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?”

His answer is a quiet but firm “Yeah.”

You lean in slowly, giving him time to pull away.

He doesn’t.

His lips are warm. Dry at first... hesitant. But then you feel him tilt toward you, just a little. And his hand rises to rest on your back.

It’s not perfect. It’s a little clumsy. But it’s real.

And when you pull back, breathless and flushed, you cough but not a single petal falls.

Zoro watches you, eyes searching.

When he speaks, his voice is low “Guess that’s one way to test if it’s real.”

You smile “Feels pretty real to me.”

It’s been days since your last petal.

Chopper checks your lungs every morning now with his stethoscope and a hopeful smile, and every time he hears nothing but clean, healthy breathing, he squeaks in joy and flails his little hooves around.

You owe him everything.

Which is why you're now crouched outside the kitchen with a stack of pink cupcakes, a tiny hand-sewn thank-you card (drawn with crayons), and one extremely annoyed swordsman beside you.

Zoro crosses his arms “I still don’t get why I have to be here.”

“Because you helped me live,” you say, balancing the cupcakes with exaggerated care “And Chopper basically didn’t sleep for a week watching over me. We’re doing this together.”

Zoro grumbles “I could’ve just said thanks.”

You grin “And yet, here you are. Holding a party hat.”

“I’m not wearing it.”

“You will wear it.”

He grunts again but doesn’t argue further.

You knock on the door.

“Chopper! Can you come out here for a sec?”

He waddles out, sleepy-eyed, blinking up at youmand freezes.

His eyes go huge.

The cupcakes are stacked with pink frosting, each topped with tiny candy flowers. The card is messy and full of stickers, and you made sure to draw you, Chopper, and Zoro in crayon (Zoro has three swords and a frowny face, just for accuracy).

Zoro groans beside you.

“Thanks for helping me” you say brightly, holding it all out “We love you, Chopper.”

Chopper’s cheeks go red “Wha—whaaa?! I—I—I was just doing my job! Y-You didn’t have to—!”

Zoro, looking like he’d rather be stabbed, mumbles, “Thanks, you tiny doctor.”

Chopper makes a noise. A mix between a squeak and a sob.

He bursts into tears, flinging his tiny arms around your leg and Zoro’s knee at the same time.

“I’m so happy you’re not dead!!!”

Zoro looks at you, completely frozen.

You just smile, slip the party hat onto his head, and whisper “Told you this would be worth it.”

[pixiesfz]

could you write about sam being sick and still playing through a game and the reader just takes care of her afterwards etc? i loved your jessie fic so much 😭😭🫶🏼

Stubborn girls s.k x r

plot: After a family night out Sam gets food poisoning, y/n tells her not to play but she doesn’t listen.

warning: reader and Sam have a child, sickness and vomiting , I’m writing this on my phone, I also don’t know how to cure food poisoning so just go with it

“I liked that place” You said as Sam opened the door for you and your sleeping daughter who you know held “I’m not sure my stomach isn’t feeling right”

“Well that is because you got the seafood which I said don’t get because-“

You were cut off as your wife ran to the toilet it wasn’t till later you heard Sam hurling up the last of her dinner.

you walked to the bathroom with your little toddler still in your arms who now stirred awake.

“Sam?” You asked at the door “I’m alright” she said “you sure? The colour in your face says different” you pointed at her face as Sam once again had her face in the toilet.

“Mama sick” your toddler said from your shoulder and you nodded “yeah cause she ate the seafood” you mumbled and your wife groaned.

“Time to go to bed bubba” You told your daughter who merely nodded “Sam are you okay?” You asked her again and she nodded “It’s a one time thing I reckon” her Australian accent shining through, you nodded and walked your daughter to her room.

“Mama got game tomorrow” your daughter said and you nodded “correct but mama is sick and shouldn’t play” you smiled at your daughter even though your words were serious “but mama said she’s fine”

“Mama lies a lot”.

You made sure your daughter was in bed and asleep before you made your way to the kitchen and grabbed medicine and a washcloth which you put u der the cold water from the sink.

“Sammy” you sung out, expecting her to be in the bed but she was still in the bathroom. You sighed as you now knew that she shouldn’t play tomorrow.

Sam seemed to read your mind as she looked up to you “I’m fine I promise” she said but you shook your head “Your skin is pale, you have bags under your eyes and your head has been stuck in the toilet for about” you checked your watch “twenty minutes now”

“Twenty minutes?” Sam asked and you nodded “little darling was a bit woke when she heard you chuck up” you said before you sat down next to Sam and took off your shoes “I’m fine-“ “No you’re not” you cut off Sam.

You rose your brows at her which she looked away from “you have food poisoning” you told her before bringing the medication and the washcloth out.

Sam excepted it as you put it on her forehead “You know you can’t play tomorrow” you told her and she groaned “we are versing Arsenal tomorrow I am playing” she said “what and vomit all over the pitch, no way am I watching that” you said before filling up a glass of water.

“Here take these” you said before pushing the tablets out to her, she did and you stroked her hair “just know that your team would rather you play healthy rather than play sick” you said and she leaned into your touch “I love you” she said with a smile.

“Are you trying to trick me into telling you that you can play”

“No”

You looked at her again.

“Maybe” she admitted and you gave her a sweet kiss on her temple “you missed” she whispered, a joke between the two of you on how you had your first kiss.

“I am not kissing you on the lips until you drink that water and have those tablets” you said before sitting up “I’ll grab you pyjamas and I’ll put a bucket next to our bed, if you need to wake me then do” you told Sam with a stern voice as she usually would try to hide any sickness or injury from you.

You grabbed her a pair of trackie shorts and a used oversized top and a bucket before placing the bucket to Sam’s side of the bed and passing the clothing to her.

“I love you” Sam said “and I truly mean it this time” she smiled “I love you too, in sickness and in health” you joked before giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

You crashed into your bed fairly quickly after and fell asleep, when you woke up you went to cuddle into Sam only to find an empty space.

Opening your eyes, you groaned to see your wife not present in the bed, then you checked the clock to see the time.

10 am.

You shot up, you were supposed to be up at 8, your alarm should’ve woken you up it always does.

Then you saw the paper on top of Sam’s pillow.

‘I feel better now and went to the game, sorry’

“That evil little Australian mother fucker” you swore to yourself before you heard a gasp behind you.

“Mummy swore!” Your daughter said from behind you “no she didn’t” you said very quickly to the giggly girl

“You said fuck!” she yelled before running away.

You sighed to yourself as you ran your fi hers through your hair. Grabbing your phone you saw to see that Sam turned off your alarm.

You then called her in anger which she didn’t pick up. Rolling your eyes you got up and put your jeans and your Chelsea jersey on “Well if she says she’s fine then let’s go watch”.

You got ready quickly and then got your daughter ready who had thankfully have seemed to forget about her new word she had learned.

You out on her Chelsea beanie and top and you both drove to the game. It would be around the second half once you got there.

“Hey y/n where you been, did you sleep in?” One of Your girlfriends team mates sister teased as you sat in the family and friends section. “You can say something like that.

“Mama Sick!” Your daughter smiled to her and she nodded her head “I could tell something was off because right now we’re getting smashed” she said and you furrowed your brows “what?” She pointed at the score.

3-1

You let your daughter look over the gate as you shook your head and looked for Sam “can you see Mama?” You asked your daughter and she laughed “Mama off” she said and you looked to the corner to see Sam subbed off.

You hated to say it because you loved her so much but she looked terrible.

Her tan skinned turned green and her bags under eyes were so dark she must not have slept last night.

When the siren went You saw Millie who went to go to your daughter “get Sam” you told her as she picked your daughter up “Is Mama in trouble?” Millie sang out to your daughter who laughed at the older girl

“how bout, lie to your wife, turn her alarm off so she doesn’t know that your playing sick type of mad?” You said

“Mummy is very mad” your daughter told Millie who opened her eyes wide “I’ll go get her” she said and went off, you didn’t want to get mad at her in public so you shook your head “tell her to meet me at home”

When you next saw Sam she walked into the kitchen where you sat with your daughter, watching her favourite show and she walked up to you with her head down “What you upset that I didn’t wake up later?” You asked and she shook her head.

When she looked up your heart almost broke, her eyes were shiny and her face was red, she had been crying.

“I’m sorry” she said and sniffed and you quickly got yo and held her “it’s okay” you said before you shook your head “actually it’s not okay but we can get to that later” you told her as you rubbed her back up and down.

When she sat down next to you she put her head on your shoulder “I shouldn’t of played, I just put them one man down, I couldn’t do anything special” she said and you grabbed her hand “You don’t need to do something special every time you play Sam”

“I know since the World Cup eyes have been on you but I want you to know that you are allowed to make mistakes and take time for yourself without being a bad player or being selfish”

She looked up to you with glossy eyes “I love you so much, you always know what to say” you smiled “I know and that’s why you married me” you smirked, knowing this time you were right.

“Mummy said fuck!”

Both of your heads whipped to your daughter who was smiling with her doll.

“Mummy said what?” Sam asked your daughter with a smirk.

You were somehow both in the doghouse that night.

[panfroggy]

Zombie Apocalypse Cherik AU - Relationships

Relationship Things

I will feed you cherik lovers at the end but first. Some others.

Logan x Kurt (Logurt)

These two are in it for the long haul. They were planning their wedding before the infection broke out actually, too bad plans have been postponed. Kurt is Logan’s anchor to this world, he keeps him level and calm. Logan in turn is Kurt's safe place, after a rough life he went through Kurt is thankful to have someone who gets it and is patient with him. Surprisingly healthy yaoi. Kurt refers to Logan as his husband because he can, but he does want to actually get married somewhat normally one day. They make good dads too! Jubilee and Kitty are well taken care of and happy despite it all. They are happily in love and their bond is stronger than ever through the apocalypse. 

Rouge x Remy (Romy)

So, finally explaining them. After the outbreak they were attempting to reach FC but got caught off guard one day when camping in an abandoned mall. CHOMP right into Remy’s arm. Rouge promises that she can find a way to fix this. She’d heard whispers of a girl who was immune traveling south, so they catch up to the group. Rouge says that they need medical supplies for a nasty blade cut in his leg and to stay somewhere safe at night. Jean and Kurt beg the others to let them stay, despite Charle’s wariness that Rouge is purposefully blocking him out and he can’t read Remy’s mind. Staying the night, Rouge tries to siphon Wanda’s life force thinking her mutant power was the cure. This causes massive fighting and Logan threatens to kill Remy then and there so they don’t have to deal with anymore zombies. Rouge begs them to let her and Remy go. Saying they’ll go lock themselves somewhere safe. Die together somewhere safe. Eventually, they agree and the two disappear and are never heard from again.

 SO. Tragedy, I’m aware. But this is them two loving each other so fiercely they wont even let death do them part. Remy’s mindset is ‘if i'm going to die it will be kissing my soul sucker girlfriend and I don’t care what hell that puts me in’ and Rouge’s mindset is ‘if something is gonna kill me please god let it be my boyfriend.’  They are madly in love, Romeo and Juliet levels of love. So dying together is the only path.

In a happier version I’d say that the cure gets to them in the nick of time! Unfortunately this is not true, the two of them are laying in a barn somewhere. Zombified but with knives in both their chests (a trap they set for themselves). 

Scott x Jean (Scean? Jott?)

Silly high school age love story. Scott thinks she’s pretty, she feels the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. The usual. Very light hearted and fun and doesn’t get farther then a kiss on the cheek but it shows love preserving.

Raven x Irene (Idk man)

Okay so this is actually just angst. So, Raven ‘dies’ in the swarm. Very shortly after they run into Irene who’s like “I’m quite sad, the woman I was meant to love isn’t here. She should be… I’m sorry you lost her.” And Charles is GAGGED and it’s just more misery. But Irene provides some insight and gets they asses moving after the loss so thanks Irene!

Charles x Erik (Cherik)

Okay. The main two. The gays who cross the country to meet then go through Texas and back together. That’s a feat not for the faint of heart. 

Leading up to this Charles knew he was gay for a while, never been in a committed gay relationship tho cuz he was focusing on school. Erik is very very new to being out of the closet. Not Just finding out but not really accepting it very much until he decided that caring about that during the apocalypse was stupid as hell so yeah. Two bisexual men. Their relationship starts off cautious and business like but slowly but surely shifts into more. Charles helps care for Erik’s children and Erik keeps Charles safe and makes Raven stop shoving him around so much.

However, despite their growing affection neither of them are really thinking they’re in love until they are shoved in the right direction by Logurt and small children. This bubbles up to Charles getting confused and Hurt when Erik starts blocking him out of his head because Erik is worried he’ll be made.

They finally get together when, on the return, they’re intercepted by Emma and Azazel on their way back. They want to kill Wanda and take Jean to try and gain more control over the virus and eliminate all human kind. This conflict ends when Charles finally taps into the fact he’s an Omega Level telepath and completely wipes the twos memory of them at all. And changes their agenda to be going home. Erik finds this hot as hell.

After the brotherhood leaves and the kids (still sleeping) are safe Charles and Erik have a true heart to heart and they confess their love to each other. Very cheesy ‘you complete me’ type stuff.

They are each others other half’s the whole time. Charles patience and Erik’s sternness, Erik’s violence and Charles’s peace keeping, Charles’s optimism and Erik’s pessimism. They balance each other out and become quite the familial unit with the kids :]  

Ask if you’re wondering anything or have little ideas!!!!!

This on love.

Tune in next time for some other facet of this au.

View the original post about them HERE and from there you can find the continuation!

[theheartofone]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: Twenty

Read On: AO3 | Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Chapter Twenty: Minks and Vivre Cards

A prickle enters into your skin, fine pointed metal paving its way with a certain grace the cut of a sword could never imitate. You look down to your doctor, observing the wide-eyed focus on his face as his hooves graze over your skin.

It’s too early for him to have found any life-saving cures, you’re aware; since the Shaman’s planned attack, it’s only been two days since you set sail from their island - so, as you lay idly in the ship’s medic cabin, your curiosity gives way over to Robin who sits at Chopper’s desk, her spine curling consumingly over the stolen tome.

If the serum isn’t entirely a cure, and Chopper’s confident enough to enter it into your system, then you can deduce that this isn’t just some experiment. You stare at the milky liquid as it slowly spills out from the syringe and into you.

“You’ve found a way to slow it down,” you softly remark, urging Chopper’s eyes to flicker onto yours. With a pursed mouth, he nods in confirmation before starting towards his desk.

“From what Robin’s deciphered so far, you transformation doesn’t seem to be…humane. You’ve heard of Minks before, right?”

You nod. “Sure. We have strong ties to…”

You stop yourself, recognising that, still, no one aboard this ship is aware of you or your Gramps’ real identity. How do you even bring up that line of conversation at this point of the journey? Hey, I’m actually from Wano, and I’m not just anybody from Wano; I’m the granddaughter of the former Shonen! The old man you’ve become pretty close to? Yeah, that’s him! Not only that, but he’s also the father to Oden! But then... there's a chance that, if you were to say those exact words to them, they might just stare back at you blankly. You're not sure whether they even know about a place called Wano, or about Oden – it’s not like they’ve debriefed you on every single journey they’ve been on. Perhaps you should go through Robin’s logbooks which she’s so kindly offered in passing, just to make sure…

You pause, averting your gaze from Chopper’s back, not knowing how to save yourself from your slip up. He turns around, a questioning look settling on his face.

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard that right,” he sheepishly says.

Robin behind him casually flips over to another silver-dusted page, her fingers tracing ever so slightly over the scripture.

“I think she said that Hitetsu-sama has taught her about Minks,” Robin smoothly replies, her eyes glued to the page.

The revelation hits you like a sudden gust of wind, sweeping away any semblance of composure you’d managed to maintain.

Your neck snaps to her direction, eyes widening. She knows.

She knows that’s not what you actually said. Why…why did she just do that? Keep your your identity hidden? How much does she know about you, your history, your lineage? And why hasn’t she mentioned it to anyone before? Panic bubbles up within you, threatening to spill over, but you clamp down on it with all your strength.

If you’re recalling correctly, Robin has always referred to Suki as ‘san.’ This is the first time she’s ever used ‘sama’ when talking about him; surely, that means she knows who he is. Who you are. His importance.

You meet Robin's gaze, searching for any hint of recognition in her steady eyes. But all you find is a calm, composed facade, her expression giving nothing away.

"Yes, that's right," you manage to choke out, your voice betraying none of the shock consuming you. "Hitetsu-sama... has taught me a lot about Minks."

It’s not a lie; not really. The day you both immigrated from Wano in Suki’s exceptionally hand-crafted raft was when you had your first lesson about two very important topics – Minks, and Vivre cards.

“The Minks are our lifelong allies, Raya…but we prefer to call them family. This,” he says, displaying a wriggling piece of paper wedged in between his two fingers, “is how we get to them.”

You remember it so dearly. Climbing up on Zunesha’s offered bowing leg, being welcomed by a bunch of wide furry arms, their devoted insistence on treating you both as royalty although you both had willingly revoked that title in purpose of seeing the rest of the world.

You remember their electric glow when the whole moon bid its hello once a month, soft fur running through your hands as they’d carry an eight-year-old you on their backs, uncontrollably laughing when they’d nuzzle your sensitive neck and lick your face clean.

You remember befriending two brother bears, one the same age as you, the other a little older. Following them around in the jungle as they’d run excitedly to show you their favourite fishing spots. Their personalities - so gentle, so wide-eyed, so warm. You wonder what they’re doing now.

And although your stay on Zunesha was only for a few months – the main reason for being there in the first place was to learn more about the outside world – those very few months were some of the best highlights of your childhood.

You wonder about them, hoping that all is well - not only the Minks but also for Zunesha.

You miss petting his thick skin, where it would lay bare in between places that were unoccupied by Minks. He’d talk to you, ask you about your thoughts, and even mention your relation to Oden.

Normally, you hated being seen as merely a blood relative to the almighty Oden - to be spoken to only because of who he was and not who you are. But with Zunesha, it was different – his question was was so passively said that sometimes you forget that he even asked it.

Only once did the ancient mammal question your bloodline, and when you curtly affirmed his suspicions, he accepted the response and moved on without asking for more.

You snap out of your daze; a faint smile plays on your lips as you look over at Chopper who’s busy sterilizing his equipment.

“Minks...what about them?”

“When Minks transform under the lunar cycle, it's tough for them to go back to normal,” Chopper explains. You nod your head already knowing this, fingers gripping over the medical bed rail. “They lose all sense of control.”

"Yeah," Chopper confirms. "When we first met them, I made a serum to help slow down their transformation. It gave them more time to think straight, and most of them could either stop changing completely or stay in control even while transformed."

“So, if we assume that whatever’s in my blood isn’t humane, it could be…” Your eyes widen, now putting all the pieces together. “Just…just what am I?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Robin murmurs thoughtfully, fingers over her lips.

Chopper nods, a reassuring smile on his face. “If the serum works on you, then what we’re suspecting is correct.”

You swallow. “And if it doesn’t?”

“Entirely harmless to humans. Your cells will attack it pretty quickly without you even realising it happening.”

Suddenly, the ship shudders and rattles under an unexpected disturbance. An earth-quaking groan thrums from beneath your feet, toppling over the chairs and books in the room. Desperately, your sweating fingers grasp onto the metal rail of the medical bed, your heart pounding in your chest; Chopper's scream of confusion echoes in the cramped cabin, mingling with the crash of glass vials and the milky liquid that spills across the floor.

Amidst the chaos, Robin's calm presence offers a semblance of stability, her arm sprouting beside you to steady you against the violent lurch of the ship. But even as you struggle to regain your footing, a wild shout from outside the cabin pierces the air, followed by Luffy's unmistakable voice, filled with uncontainable excitement.

"What's happening?" you breathe, your eyes darting between Chopper, Robin, and the door, where the sounds of commotion spill in from the deck.

Robin's lips curl into a knowing smile as she peers through the small porthole, amusement dancing in her eyes. "It seems we have visitors," she announces, her voice tinged with anticipation.

You hear Luffy wildly cheer again, and then shout out for the rest of you guys to join. Chopper jumps up to Robin, hopping desperately to grab a view of the action.

“What is it, Robin?” Chopper desperately begs. “Let me see!”

With a firm push, she swings open the door, revealing a scene of surprise and chaos unfolding on the deck below. Chopper, his fur standing on end with excitement, darts past you, his eager cries mingling with Usopp's bright grin as they rush to join the fray.

As you step out onto the deck, your gaze falls upon the unexpected visitors, and your breath catches in your throat. There, standing amidst the chaos, is a polar bear clad in an orange jumpsuit

You swear you just felt your heart stop.

A polar bear. White fur, the same fur you’d run your hands through in awe. Flashes of him showing his favourite fishing spots on Zunesha. So gentle, so wide-eyed, so warm. What was his name? What was his brother’s?  

“Bepo!” Chopper screams out, jumping on the massive bear.

Bepo. That was his name. Your mouth is wide open, the blood in your body running cold. And Zepo...That was his brother.

How…

Why… Why is he here? Where…?

But before you start spiralling into panic, your eyes catch onto the other figure that stands alongside dear Bepo, a sleep-deprived looking man who has his lips pursed firmly in irritation. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest, his gaze fixed on Luffy with an intensity that sends a chill down your spine.

"Tora-o," Robin greets him over the banister with a raised eyebrow, her tone tinged with amusement. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

The man's gaze turns to Robin, and for a moment, there's a flicker of something in his eyes— a greeting, perhaps, or recognition. But then his expression hardens once more, and he meets her gaze with a steely resolve.

"Your ship broke my submarine," he says, dead-panned, his voice cutting through laughter.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hey cal!!!! 💕💕💕💕

Maximum words for mer Buck part 2 please!!

-❤️🪐

Hell yeah! Let's do it!

---

It’s effort, but he can. It just means, when this is all over, he’s going to need to sleep for a long time. 

They get Russell out. Get him stabilized. Get a warming blanket around him while Eddie does what he can for his wound. 

“You have to help Hank,” Russell keeps saying. Over and over. “Hank… The water…”

“We need to worry about you right now,” Bobby says. “There are lots of LAFD and search and rescue members out here, looking for people. Someone will locate Hank.”

Dead or alive. But Bobby doesn’t say that. There’s no point.

“No!” Russell practically moans, a mixture of pain and despair coloring his voice. “No, you don’t understand. He was hanging on beside me… He was hurt… He let go.”

Buck looks around the water surrounding them.

“I don’t see anyone, Cap.”

Maybe one of the bodies they passed…

“The current… Tried to swim, got pulled out…” Russell says. “Please find him.”

Bobby radios it in. Lets people know there’s someone out there. 

“No! No, please! We can’t leave him,” Russell protests. 

“We have to get you to dry land, now,” Eddie says to Hank. “You need medical attention.”

“No, no… If you wait for someone else, he’ll drown!” Russell begs. “Please! He’s my best friend!”

And that’s… Probably true. If his friend got pulled out by a rip current amidst all this chaos, he could be dead before anyone locates him. Anyone without a good sense for this ocean. 

Someone with good ocean sense, though…

“I could do it,” Buck blurts. 

Eddie looks at him, eyes wide and alarmed.

Bobby looks around. Nervous. “Buck, that’s not a good idea…”

“I wouldn’t get hurt,” Buck says. “Wouldn’t even be at risk.”

“Of death, maybe,” Eddie seethes. “But of… You know…”

“I could find him and save him and-and hide,” Buck says.

“What?” Russell asks. “What’s happening?”

Buck ignores him. Ignores Eddie. 

“I’ll be careful,” Buck promises. 

“Buck,” Eddie pleads.

Bobby looks completely torn. 

“I’m only like this to save people,” Buck reminds him. “You told me not to be insubordinate. I-I won’t. But trust me, Bobby. Please.” 

Bobby pulls Buck by the shoulder and turns him away from Eddie and Russell.

“You can do this, but you have to promise me if it’s between this man and you getting caught, you choose yourself,” Bobby whispers, fast and almost angry in tone. 

“Bobby-”

“No,” Bobby shakes his head. “No buts. That’s the condition. I am not losing you that way, Buck. Do you understand me?”

Buck blinks, surprised. That’s not how Buck expected Bobby to phrase it. 

“Okay,” he says. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good,” Bobby nods. “What do you need from me?” 

“Buck!” Eddie pleads. “You can’t-”

“I have to,” Buck cuts him off. “I have to. I’ll be fine. Promise.”

Eddie’s expression tightens. He looks furious. Buck gets it. They just talked about him being afraid of losing Buck. But Eddie has to realize, Buck isn’t going to die. He’s going to be just fine. This is such a low risk for him. It’ll all be fine. Buck will show him.

He looks back at Bobby, and starts shedding the heavier parts of his gear.

“Hold onto these for me?” Buck asks. 

Bobby nods, grabbing his turnout jacket. “Be safe.”

“You got it,” Buck replies.

Then, without another word from Eddie, Buck jumps into the cool, choppy sea. 

🌻

Eddie feels a cold sort of rage. Everything they’d talked about and Buck just launches himself into full merman mode in front of all these people? Sure, the sea is dark and chaotic. Eddie knows, as he watches Buck swim away, that on a brighter day, he’d see the shine of his silvery tail against the water. Today, it sort of blends. But still… What if someone gets close? 

What if someone gets close and gets a picture, or reports him to… To someone, and… And Buck disappears one day. Bag over his head, taken to a research facility. What if… What if they force some sort of cure on him or something? Is that even an option? What if Eddie loses Buck? What if Buck loses some fundamental piece of himself? 

“What did he do?” Russell asks. “What is he doing?”

“Buck is…” Eddie searches for a lie. “A champion swimmer. He’ll find your friend.”

And then later, Eddie will kill him. 

🌊

Locating Hank isn’t hard. 

He finds the current that must have swept him under and away, and follows it, propelled by its strength. Hank is unconscious and floating towards shore near the end of it. Securing him is easy enough. It’s less work than lifting an unconscious person on land, anyway. 

Hank is going to be okay. He doesn’t seem to be bleeding much. Maybe a bad concussion. Definitely a broken arm. Buck hopes no spinal injury, but he’s done what he can. He’s kept him from drowning. It’ll take a while before rescue personnel make it out this way. 

The next steps are harder. He’s not sure how to get Hank safely back to medics. He needs urgent medical attention. It’s not a warm day, either. Soaked wet and left to lay on a beach, he might become hypothermic before anyone finds him. Shit. Buck didn’t properly think this part through. 

Bobby and Eddie will know what direction to look for them in. They’re aware. But no one else is. Buck can’t flag anyone else down without giving himself away. If Bobby and Eddie can’t get here, what will he do? 

“Fuck,” Buck mutters, swimming Hank to shore. 

Even without legs, he manages to maneuver the man’s body far enough up the shore that breaking waves won’t pull him back in. 

The man makes a sputtering moan while Buck quickly checks him over. It’s not as good a job as he might usually do, certainly not as good of a job as Eddie or Hen or Chim would do, but the guy is alive. He’s breathing steady. Pulse is stable.

[coreyww]

For people who have ADHD specifically:

You know, for a while, I kinda thought medication would solve most or all of my problems. And I’ve kinda realized that’s a bad way to look at it. Don’t get me wrong, it helps (at least, having the RIGHT medication helps, don’t get discouraged if you try one and it ends up working a little then showing side effects that make life more difficult and you gotta try again; happened to me, it’s like throwing darts to find the right med and dosage sometimes). But it doesn’t AUTOMATICALLY make you feel neurotypical. It takes a lot of like…being aware of the things you do that make other people feel bad or that are unhealthy behaviors you may not notice and making the effort to consciously change it.

In all honesty the best most proactive thing that has helped me get myself together was when I let people I was around a lot and trusted to tell me the truth what was going on with me. I went “hey I switched meds recently, if you notice anything change that’s bad let me know” or “hey I’ve felt kind of off recently have you noticed anything weird that I’ve done”. And people started telling me the truth when I was acting off or doing things that made them feel bad (for example, interrupting people or what have you) and took the feedback and consciously worked on it.

And if that sounds terrifying to you, it did me too, I almost always have to fight the urge to get defensive when it comes up. But since it’s coming from people I trusted who weren’t being dicks, I actually listened and examined what I’ve done and almost always go “oh yeah they’re right, I didn’t notice but I have been doing that”. And THEN I can usually start to figure out how to handle it better, or at least try to. It at least gives me a way to try to work on the root cause.

So yeah. If you haven’t tried meds, definitely try them but don’t get discouraged if it isn’t a cure all. If you’re on meds and you still have issues, don’t get discouraged. Let people who you really, really trust and are around you a lot know what’s going on and ask if they can point out if they notice something and genuinely take the feedback and do the best you can with it.

It doesn’t always just take medication, it takes personally effort to take feedback and change sometimes too. (Ain’t that a pisser lol)

[bullshit-usa]

Why can’t any of you fuckers read? I said LSAT. Not SAT. Law school admission test. Scholastic assessment test. These are different tests. Why assume what the acronym means when you could easily be wrong and make yourself look like a dumbass?

Tests outside the states have lower standards (well, up until recently, but they’re rolling that back now because they lowered standards to give specific races an “advantage” - sounds more like infantilization. I took the LSAT after they rolled out the newest version, which is currently the hardest version)

I’m not a feminist beyond what has already been achieved. I think there’s sex equality already. Just deluges of past eras that’s dissipating and only the material effects of sex differences. I don’t think there needs to be anything else other than women getting the hell over it and making them more emotionally tough. And women to stop abusing the courts against men. I’ve seen a lot of injustice towards men in the courts and I hate it. A lot of women will use old social views of women to advantage if it’ll allow them to win in the courts. Which is pathetic.

And you’re reading the chart wrong. 0-1 is the overlap between men and women. Anything below 0 and above 1 is “super.” When you account for this, there is only one transwoman with a distinctly “female” brain. More transwomen have more distinctly “male” brains than all the women. How are you going to be so cocky yet so wrong. Embarrassing.

The “drugs” are we talking about here are synthetic hormones. Ethinyl estradiol. Testosterone cypionate. Etc. We know what these do. We’ve known for decades. You’re acting as if drugs that have been approved for decades are the same as new COVID drugs being administered for experimentation in Brazil. We’re talking about science that started with surgeons who would later become Nazi scientists being widely unquestioned until the past 10 years.

The reason why I call it human experimentation is because it doesn’t function on actually trying to see if it works. It’s the same to me as Nazi human experimentation. Doing shit for the sake of seeing what happens, controlling and removing organs for “scientific progress” instead of considering human ethics. When the surgeons we’re talking about brag about how they increased the shelf life of flesh tunnel increasing from 4 years to 5 in their circles, I think we should start second guessing whether these doctors are motivated more by morbid curiosity and money than helping people.

“Helping people” is just the reason they advertise to avoid criticism. It is amazing how one minute people will talk about how evil the pharmaceutical and medical industry are for jump starting the opioid crisis and for robbing the poor but then they are nature’s little angels for carving new holes into people that have to be dilated everyday or they’ll close.

The testing of synthetic hormones was for addressing hormonal imbalances in low T men and menopausal women. They were never rigorously tested for whether these hormones cure gender dysphoria. Recent review are showing that a lot of the studies used to justify HRT were bullshit. Y’all shit talk the Cass Review but isn’t it monumental to how it closed down the British pediatric gender clinics so quickly, only to be reversed after a far left party took control, in a move that was monumentally unapproved by the majority of UK citizens? Maybe reading the review will be beneficial to you. I read it. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

I posted complication rates of phalloplasty the other day. A surgeon said there was a 100% chance of “minor” complications from the surgery, and a 40% chance for severe complications - some of which can lead to organ failure and death if prolonged. It is disgusting. This shit isn’t equivalent to knee surgery at all. You can’t just whack around and remove organs in such an important location like the lower torso. It’s important for digestive and hormonal reasons. “Yeah, you can survive without organs, hehe” - are y’all sociopaths??

My first thought is almost always: “that should be a last resort.” Y’all are resorting to something reserved for people dying of cancer for a mental health issue. It’s crazy. And I’m supposed to act like this isn’t the modern day lobotomy.

Consent can be coerced. Consent can be uninformed. I would say the majority of those who get phalloplasty do not know that there is a 100% chance of complications. But to me now, that seems logical, because you’re trying to invent a new organ.

“No more risk.” Give me a fucking break. I’m tired of seeing account after account of these flesh tubes falling off, flesh tunnels rotting from the inside and dispelling human shit out of them, and people dying young from steroid induced organ failure. I see it everyday. I see grotesque images of people’s lower bodies decaying and posts saying that they wish they died instead. But hey, why should we care about those who died? They don’t matter. They’re unimportant in comparison to the beauty that is the ambiguous ideal of “choice.” Which isn’t free at all from influence.

Y’all care more about the ideals you’ll never see the effects of rather than keeping people alive. Yet I’m the bad guy. I’m tired.

As a psychology student, I'm interested in how you say in your bio that you'll debunk transgender identities through logic. As someone who has written essays approved by college professors about transphobia, gender dysphoria, and gender identity, I would like to know what's your main argument against transgender identities (trans women, trans men, non-binary people, and so on).

You can refer to me in any way you want. He, she, it, they, I don't care. My identity isn't important, only my arguments and knowledge are. Let's talk about it.

-📚

I’m going to assume you’re a B.A. in psychology, not a B.S. in psychology-which is an important distinction. Most psychology majors are B.A. majors.

But also, I graduated college so you saying “approved by college professors” doesn’t mean much to me. What does "approved" mean, I got consent to write about 'XYZ' for my term papers sometimes, is that what "approved" means? I also wrote essays and got A+’s on them. I don’t see myself as an authority on the history of the U.S. South or Southern legal history. I graduated college feeling like I didn’t know enough to ever consider myself as an authority on the topic. I felt like I knew nothing. Which is why I’m going to law school.

My arguments against transgenderism are based on the “treatment” of gender dysphoria. I think gender dysphoria does exist, but I don’t think it is biological in nature like many trans theory states. This is why the distinction between a B.A. and a B.S. matters. A Bachelor of Arts focuses more on the humanities, so reading and interpreting studies through a linguistic and theoretical lens, while a B.S. focuses on conducting research and interpreting studies through a quantitative and objective lens.

In logic, it is very important to point out assumptions in people’s arguments. Many arguments for transgenderism are based on assumptions, things assumed to be true, but not things proven to be true.

For example, the fact that transwomen have “female” brains.

This study (very narrow in sample) compares the white/grey matter content of female, male, and transwoman brains.

The graph corresponds with the amount of white and grey matter in the brain, meaning that the more "female" a brain, the more grey matter it'll have, and the more white matter a brain has, the more "male" it is.

0 is female, 1 is male, -1 is super female, and 2 is super male. This study looks legit at first until I point something out.

There's only one person that was slightly below 0 in this graph in the transgender woman violin plot, half of the men meet the "obscure brain sex zone" and a little less than half of the women also meet this "obscure zone," and the majority of transgender women meet this zone.

More of the transwomen stretch into the "super male" zone than into the "super female" zone. Only one did, while a little over half of the females did.

This is supposed to prove transwomen have female brains? It seems like it does the opposite. Because of the obscurity, none between 0-1 really matter as they overlap. It is the extreme cases that matter the most. No males go below 0, no females go above 1. Many transgender women go above 1, but only one went below 0, and just barely. This can be doubted based on this one person's brain was mismeasured.

And the key assumption is, what these scientists ignored and simply assumed was true:

How does an increase in grey matter in a male's brain lead to gender dysphoria? What is the connection between grey matter and transgenderism?

Sure, they pointed out that 1 male fit into the "female" range, and that was only after meeting a prerequisite: identifying as transgender. As for the "cisgender" people, it's never specified if they included lesbian and gay men.

If they tested for that, could we have seen even more overlap? And if gay men dipped into the "female sexed brain" and lesbians rose into the "male sexed brain" then the whole study is bullshit based on these gay men still identifying as men despite having "female brains" and lesbians identifying as women despite having "male brains." But we don't know this because they didn't test for it. If it is true, then something else leads someone to identify as transgender and white matter & grey matter have nothing to do with it, but to me that is already established as the majority of the people sampled overlap each other.

The primary differences seem to be based on the influence of testosterone and estrogen in the body. None of the trans-identified men were on HRT. This is based on their natal hormone levels.

Another assumption is that in the womb, trans-identified people were exposed to more testosterone/estrogen in their brains while their body was exposed to more estrogen/testosterone. This is an assumption because:

We don't even know if this is possible, how does testosterone/estrogen begin to collect and localize to one place

How come we have never observed this in any other body part, it is the excess of androgens/insufficient androgens that cause intersex conditions, not a localization excess of estrogen in their genitals or something like that

Why haven't we tried to observe hormone flux in the womb and do long-term studies on their gender/sexuality first before assuming that HRT/SRS would fix everything?

If there is no biological basis for transgenderism, then why are we trying to fix it through biology?

If it isn't like my fucked up & misaligned teeth, something observable, then why are we assuming that the solution is just as observable as inverting a penis or stitching on a flesh tube?

If it is not something objectively measurable, how can we truly determine who is trans and who isn't?

Correlation ≠ Causation

[russett-pots]

Feel the Thrill

Nakamura Kazuha

Tags: F1, Virgin sex, cum on breasts

Words: 4.2k

TW: Smoking

Sorry I was planning to upload this over the weekend but only got to finish this today.

Enjoy!

Formula one cars zoom pass and one of them is yours. You’re in a hard battle with your teammate. Wheels have been barging and banging throughout the race. There are no team orders down in Aston Martin. It may be risky for you to keep fighting, but there is no good reason to stop fighting as you are locked in a tight battle for points.

This season has not been the easiest for you and this race. You have been gunning for that rookie of the year and your teammate isn’t making it easy for you.

“Tell Lance to fucking give me space. I’m faster than him.” You struggle to communicate with your engineer.

“Sorry, Lee Heon. He’s free to race you.”

“At this rate, we are going to crash.”

You continue to struggle your way on the track. Your teammate hasn’t been making things easy. But right before the long straight, you can get behind him within one second so you can activate DRS. Stroll’s lights are flashing, giving you some encouragement.

Oh here we go, he is out of juice.

You got to the late apex. He switches it around and he gets ahead but it doesn’t matter. You compromised his line and now you are in a better position for the long straight ahead. Your foot is flat to the floor, the ers button is set to overtake, then your rear wing gets opened.

Stroll is still ahead but not for long. The final advantage that you set up for yourself is the slipstream. Your boost allows you to push as close as you can. Then you swerve to the left. Stroll is defenseless as you pass by him. You can see him in your mirrors, he tries to tuck on your rear. He doesn’t have the DRS and juice that you had. But you notice he is close too close.

As you hit the breaking point and you slam on the brakes, you feel a large force hitting the rear of your car. Your head moves forward but your HANS device prevents you from getting whiplash. Your car spins around with your tires screeching on the black tarmac. 

You are shocked to see Stroll’s bold move fail and he crashes on you. But his car is okay and just speeds on with his broken wing into the pits.

“Are you okay, Lee Heon? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

You undo your seatbelt, remove the steering wheel from the steering column and place it on your car. A marshal runs to you to assist you. You get out of the car and look at the damage.

You look around. It can’t be seen but you know that there are hundreds of cameras on you. Above you, you can hear the helicopter’s camera pointed at you. You just shake your head in disgust, remove your gloves from your hands, and walk away.

You get to the side of the track and wait for your pick-up.

As you wait there, you get to see the safety car lead the other cars around the track Stroll is still in the top ten.

Finally after what feels like forever. The medical car arrives. You get up as Dr. Ian Roberts rushes to you to take your vitals. It isn’t anything serious so you’re good.

He leads you to the medical car and back to the pit lane. Once you get there, you walk to your garage but try to avoid the media but covering your eyes with your visor and pushing them away from you. When you arrive at the garage, you slam your helmet on the table and angrily remove your racing suit. You attempt to punch the wall, but your trainer stops you from doing it.

“Calm down, bro. It’s just a race.” Your trainer tries to console you.

You look at him and glare. “Just a race?! Scoring points in my home Grand Prix is important to me!”

You put your hand on your head to cure the headache.

“Let me change.” You go to the hospitality suite to change into your team uniform. 

You head back to the garage to see what’s happening to the race. All of the mechanics are seated on the chairs watching the race. You look around but then you see the team principal still on the pit wall. So, you head up to him.

“Ya! What was Lance doing? Is he crazy?!”

He looks at you. “Let’s talk about this at the debrief.”

You scoff at him and walk away. Lance’s father already owns the team. Whatever you say about him isn’t going to affect his seat.

At the end of the race, even with a five-second penalty, Lance was still able to finish p 8. You get furious at him and the result. It should have been you up there and not him. You might have even gotten a higher position.

You enter the conference room. Everyone is already there waiting for you. You get to your usual spot at the de-brief is about to start.

“So, points I guess. Just a few more then we will be challenging Alpine?” The head strategist starts the conversation.

You raise your hand. “Are we going to talk about how Lance rear-ended me? I think we need to talk about that.”

The team principal sighs. “Lance, don’t you have to say something?”

He stands up. “I’m sorry. Lee Heon.”

You reluctantly accept his apology.

Lance still has protection from his father who is very hands-on with his investment for his son. But you are just there to take all of it in. Drive faster than you’ll keep your seat with them.

The de-brief goes on as usual but in the end.

“Okay, everyone. Tonight there is going to be an event happening in Seoul. It’s a sponsored event so I expect everyone to go. Especially you, Lee Heon.”

You roll your eyes. Going to events isn’t something you thought Formula 1 drives will be doing. You signed up to live a dangerous life. The thrill of driving over 300 kph is what was on the job description. Media is something you never liked going but you have to accept the other side of the profession. 

~~

You drive to the hotel where the event is hosted in your large Yamaha Motobike. It zooms in on the valet area. Your arms stretch as you enter the hotel. You turn off the engine and remove your helmet. You quickly toss the keys to the valet personnel and walk into the hotel.

The media quickly notices you and turn their camera pointed at you and your dashing suit. You just smile and wave at them. A small plastic smile that at least will get you thru the night. The security quickly moves in and clears you a path.

Your trainer is already waiting for you at the door.

“Sorry, I’m late.”

“Shut up. Just come with me.”

You give a good chuckle.

“What’s going to be in this event?” You ask him.

“To be honest. I don’t know. All I know is that the Team Principal will give a speech. I know how much you don’t like this. All you have to do is just sit and smile for the camera and the audience. Sign some autographs if necessary.”

He walks you to the table and he said just a couple of speeches happening. But you just smile and clap after each segment.

The host announces. “Good evening finally before we can serve dinner. May we welcome the newest K-pop sensation, Le Sserafim!”

You don’t know much about this K-pop group. As you have been listening to western artists and don’t know much about K-pop in general. So, another smile and clap.

~~

Once dinner ends, you tell your trainer that you need to go out for some air. You head out to the balcony and get out your pack of cigarettes and your lighter. There aren’t a lot of people in the area. So, you just pick one from the pack and put it in your mouth. But before you can light it up. A pair of fingers grabs it and tosses it aside.

“Ya! Do you not know smoking is bad for you?” A lady scold you.

“Mind your own business.” You take another but before you can take one out. She grabs it and tosses it in the trash.

“Ya! Why did you do that?” You run to the trash, but you already see that it is ruined inside the can.

“There is a pregnant woman over there. You cannot smoke here.”

You roll your eyes away from her. “So, who are you?”

“Well if you don’t know I’m Kazuha.”

“Kazuwho?”

“Kazuha! Of Le Sserafim. Didn’t you see us perform?”

“Ah! Le Sserafim. Sure.”

“And you who might be?”

“Me? F1’s newest sensation, Lee Heon. Probably something you should know.”

“Jeeez, self-centered much?”

“Well, it is true, isn’t it? Why else are we hosting this event.”

“Sheesh. You don’t have to think of yourself like that.”

“Why? Can’t I?”

“Well, if the only thing you are thinking is yourself then maybe you shouldn’t be one.”

“What!?”

Kuzaha looks you straight in the eyes. “Well, if you’re going to continue to be like then. You aren’t going to make many friends.”

You throw your arms at her. “Fuck off.” Instead of diving into more of this conversation, you head back into the event before you get can get back.

Kazuha shouts out. “I’m right. Ain’t I?”

You get back to your table and sit beside your trainer again.

“How was your ‘air’?”

“Shut the fuck up. There is the Kazuwho who just threw my cigarettes.”

“Kazuha. You should know them. They’re famous. Maybe more famous than you.”

“Whatever.” You scoff back at your trainer and lean in your chair to just soak in the rest of the event.

Once it ends, you immediately head out of the venue to go back to your hotel room to get away from the media. When you get to the main driveway. You see this girl frantically on her phone.

You get a closer look and it’s Kazuha. First, you call the valet to get your motorbike then turn up on her.

“So, you got left behind?”

“Go away.” She gets on her phone once more. But there is no signal in the area so she cannot call anyone. “Ugh. Pick up!”

“Need a ride?”

“From you? Never!”

“Well good luck to you if you are just going to stay here and get stranded.”

The valet arrives with your bike. You look at Kazuha once more. “Last chance.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. Just drop me off in the city where I can call my manager.”

You put on your helmet. “Hold on.” You open the compartment behind you and toss her the spare helmet.

“Tell me if it fits.”

You go to the back compartment and take out the spare helmet that you stored there and toss it to Kazuha. “Try it.”

She puts it on. “Ugh Fine.”

“Then, get on.”

You put on your helmet as Kazuha gets on your bike. Then you speed off into the distance.

Since it is late at night you can go as fast as you can without getting caught. You dive thru traffic, weaving in and out.

Kazuha holds on to your tight. Her arms wrap around your waist. “You idiot slow down!”

You chuckle and pull the throttle to get the bike going even faster.

Kazuha screams. “You’re crazy stop right now!”

You get on the brake and screech the tires on the road to get to a complete stop. You remove your visor to see the lights of downtown.

“Woah. I could never think a city can be this pretty.”

Kazuha gets off the bike and removes the helmet. A fit of fuming anger grows in her then her hand slaps your shoulder. “You shouldn’t be going that fast. The speed limit doesn’t say 100 kph.”

You remove the helmet and then turn to Kazuha. “Don’t you notice the lights?”

She gets a break from hitting you and looks above. The lights are shining in her eyes. “Well, it’s nice but still not as nice as you are breaking the speed limit.” She returns to hitting on you.

“Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay, I’m sorry. I���m sorry.”

“You owe me something.”

You turn to the right and notice that there is a McDonald’s beside you. “You want ice cream?”

Kazuha turns her head to see the golden arches and ponders. “You’re paying for me, right?”

You sigh. “Yes…”

Kazuha walks up the steps and you park your bike. One inside, the air-conditioned interior is bright, clean, and plush. Something uncommon in a McDonald's but since it’s late at night maybe that’s why it is so spotless with the diligence of the hardworking staff of the branch.

“Hello, welcome to McDonald’s. What would you like for tonight?”

“Just two hot fudge sundaes. Anything else?”

“Two apple pies.” You carefully order.

“Okay, we’ll call you when it’s ready.” She hands you your number before you and Kazuha find an empty seat in a very empty fast-food restaurant.

“So, tell me how is it being an F1 driver?” Kazuha asks curiously.

“Well, driving is the fun part. Going down circuits like Monaco, Monza, and Spa. All amazing circuits.”

“Really, have you won anything?”

“Hey, it’s my rookie year. It isn’t like I’m in a good car.”

“Maybe you aren’t just fast.” Kazuha chuckles.

“Ya! I’m fast. I just need to prove myself. When I get to a Mercedes or a Ferrari. I’ll show you. I’ll bring you right in the paddock and you’ll see me win.”

“Are you already inviting me to watch?”

“What! Oh…well yeah. I mean why not?”

“You really don’t have any friends to invite, do you?”

“Shut up!”

Suddenly the speakers sound. “Order for Lee Heon.”

You quickly end the conversation and run to the counter.

“Here’s your food.” The lady gives you.

Once you return, you see Kazuha signing an autograph for someone.

You get slightly annoyed as you haven’t really gotten asked to sign something by someone outside events.

“So, you’re really famous?” You slowly lay down the tray.

“I don’t want to toot my horn but yeah.”

“Damn, I was never asked by someone for an autograph like this.”

“Really?”

“I mean yeah sure during Grand Prix or events but when I walk around, I don’t get spotted.”

“It isn’t as nice as you think. Sometimes you cannot go anywhere. But now? Since it’s late no one is around.”

“Hmmm anyway dig in. I got you ice cream and apple pie.”

Like as she knows how, Kazuha places her apple pie on the ice cream and starts indulging in it. You smile as you eat with her. You never expected it to be nice to eat late-night snacks with someone you haven’t met for a while.

Once your desserts are finished, you look at her. “Do you want to call your manager…”

Kazuha raises her eyebrows.

“…. or wanna ride around my bike again?”

“I already asked him. He said he can pick me up in the morning.”

Your eyes light up and drag Kazuha with you. She straps on her helmet and helps you with yours. Now you just casually drive around Seoul, appreciating the different city lights. Occasionally, Kazuha taps on your shoulder to show you some landmarks around the area. The city at night is calming. You never knew how much the night as ever been like this.

You end up at a hill outside the city skirts. There is a skyline in the distance.

“So, Kazuha, is this a date?”

She looks at you with her hair slightly blown in the wind. “I guess. What? Are you my boyfriend now?”

“Depends, do you want to?”

She turns to you, stepping one foot at a time, then once close to you, where she can feel her breath. Her eyes blink and her hand lands on your chest. “Your heart is beating fast. Should I be concerned?”

“No” You use your hand to hold her head still as you kiss her on the lips. 

She doesn’t push you back but hugs you tighter, pulling you even closer.

Once the kiss ends, your foreheads rest on each other.

“I guess we’re dating.” Kazuha asks.

“Now are we going to take this further?”

“Sure.” Kazuha’s eyes light up but get concerned.

“Kazuha, what’s the matter?”

“I want to do it well even with you. But…it’s going to be my first time.”

“Kazuha, I’ll only do it if you want to do it. Tell me do you want to have sex with me?”

“Hmm.” Kazuha nods. “Just tell me what to do.”

You get back to your bike and speed to your hotel. Once more a valet would take your bike while you and Kazuha skip your way to your room. When alone on the elevator ride, you pull Kazuha closer to you and kiss her on the lips again like when you did a while ago.

Kazuha playfully pushes you away. “Aren’t you excited?”

“Well, no girl I was with has ever been this beautiful.”

Kazuha blushes.

“Well, aren’t you excited?”

Once the elevator arrives at your floor, you escort her to your room. Kazuha runs to the windows overlooking the city. You walk slowly removing your coat and your ties.

“Yeah, that’s why I took this room. I like the view. It’s always peaceful to watch the city skyline.”

“So now, Oppa.” Kazuha inches closer and closer to you. “Are we going to do what we wanted to do?” she tries to show off her sexy side.

“You’re so cute. Let me show you how it’s done.”

You kiss and push her onto the bed. Her hands roll up your shirt and her skin is feeling your upper body. Your own hands and undoes the button of your pants. Kazuha starts to remove each button from your shirt, leaving your shirt open for her to enjoy.

Kazuha turns you around as she is on top of you. She sits on you and removes her shirt. There you can see her small petite frame a bra casing her small breast but with a fully developed midriff.

“Sheesh.”

“Only you can see this.”

Kazuha puts her hands on her back and with one swift move, her bra falls off. 

“I thought you are a beginner?”

“I may never have sex but at least I have seen some videos about it. Now, let me?”

Kazuha goes down between your legs and removes the rest of your pants. Now what’s left is your boxer briefs before the prize of what’s underneath. She slowly peels off the barrier and out sticks out is your rock-hard cock, not huge like what porn would show but it is sizeable.

With her hand slowly stroking it, Kazuha is mesmerized. She cannot actually believe she is seeing a cock in real life. Her eyes are wide open and is focusing on it and it only. She gives a quick lick to see what it tastes like.

“Kazuha….”

“Call me Zuha.”

“Zuha… if you want, put it in your mouth.”

She snaps out of the trance and slowly engulfs it with her mouth. Her wet cave welcomes the long cock. Her tongue plays with it. It circles around it. The sensation of her rough taste buds on your cock tickles it.

“Are you sure it’s your first time?”

“Maybe I’m just that talented.”

You lean back your head. Your lower regions are already weakening to the immense pleasure that Kazuha is forcing upon you. “Kazuha….Zuha…..”

Kazuha pops her head off your cock. “Hmm?”

“You’re so good.”

She gets off you and moves closer to your face. “That’s good.”

“It’s like I don’t need to teach you anything. But anyway, let me show you something.”

You get off the bed and pull Kazuha to ward you. “Quick, on the bed.” She gets on the bed on all fours. You remove the button on her pants with her underwear to her ankles. Kazuha kicks away her clothes, leaving her fully naked. 

You touch her wet pussy with your fingers. A gentle rub on her increasingly wetter pussy. You slowly insert your middle finger inside. There inside is the pulsating pink flesh inside Kazuha. You push in and pull out every second, going in and out repeatedly. Then your ring finger joins. Kazuha almost screams but is only stiffed by her mouth. Most intense motions are now inside her. You move faster and harder.

Kazuha bites her lips as she cannot handle the immense pleasure. You pull out of her pussy and out comes your drenched fingers. She looks back at you. To impress her you suck your two fingers, and all the love juice soaked on your fingers.

“Now, Zuha. Let me bring you the main course.”

You give a quick slap on Kazuha’s dripping folds. Then with the tip of your cock, tease her before you fully impale her with your cock. First, you slowly push inside. It goes a quarter way in, then half, and finally goes balls deep. Then you slowly pull out.

While all this Kazuha was anxiously waiting for you to enter her. First, her face shows pain when your first enter but immense satisfaction afterward. Your hands get a gentle grip on Kazuha’s waist. Her soft skin matches her white complexion.

You speed up your thrust. Each push getting harder. Kazuha tries to take it all in. Her hand grabs the sheets, she bites her lips, and her feet curl. Kazuha tries to stifle her moans but, in the end, fails so she lets out a loud scream of pleasure. Never had you thought that you could hear such an innocent-looking girl get so wild.

Your skin slaps on hers. Her waist perfectly fits the shape of your pelvis, a snug fit. You let out gentle moans. You take the innocence out Kazuha. The shyness and the elegance now are gone.

You slow down to a complete stop. Kazuha tries to slow down her heavy breaths. But instead, you toss her around, now you are face to face with Kazuha.

“Zuha, let’s do this slowly. Sorry I was a little rough.”

“Nah it’s okay. Do what you want.”

“I’ll show you more another time. I just want to ask you one question.”

“Hmmm?”

“Where do you want me to cum?”

“Cum? You mean your semen?”

You chuckle for a second. “Yeah, my semen.”

“Ummm. Just don’t make me pregnant.”

You smile at her. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

Now you go back to your cock. You realign your tip on Kazuha’s entrance. Like before you go in gently, first with the tip, teasing her. You look back at Kazuha’s anticipated expression. She braces for another round of your long shaft. It dives back in and resumes the thrust that was like a while ago.

You go in and out faster and faster. Like before Kazuha’s expression is a mix of pain, pleasure, excitement, and fear. Not knowing what you’ll do next but it is to enjoy every second of it.

Your hands rest on either side of her chest. Her small breast jiggle in the motions. Kazuha yells out. Her screams of joy fill the room. But to silence her, you kiss her on the lips. A passionate kiss with the hard and rough act of taking her whole.

Faster and faster, it goes, you go down from her lips to her neck. You kiss it and suck on it but try your best to not leave a hickey. Your hand gets a handful of her breast. Your finger twirl, pinch and play with her nipple. 

With her mouth free, Kazuha gaps for breaths. Her screams are getting louder from all the pleasure she is feeling. All of these feelings Kazuha is experiencing are encouraging you to do more. The more Kazuha feels good. It feels like it is transferring it to you.

But then you can feel it. Your legs get weak. Your shaft wants to throb. You quickly pull out and point your cock to Kazuha’s breast. All of your sticky, white liquid is all over her breast. Round after round spews out of your cock. 

After running dry you drop to the bed and lay beside her.

“Oh my gosh, that was so good,” Kazuha exclaims. She takes a sample of your cum and sniffs it. “What should I do with this?”

“Just clean yourself. Unless you want to lick it all?”

She glares at you and then smiles. She jumps off the bed and walks to the bathroom to clean herself. You scoot over to your phone and check the time.

“Zuha, right you said your manager is going to fetch you in the morning?”

“Hmm.”

“Wanna spend the night?”

She comes out of the bed, still naked, and runs to lay beside you.”

“Sure.” She kisses you on the lips. “Just on one condition.”

“What?”

“As much as I like you, you know I’m an idol.”

“Yeah?”

“We have to keep this a secret.”

“Okay, Zuha. I’ll do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

[elenarodriiguez]

"you're all i have" | d.j.

summary: reassuring your girlfriend is all you want to do when you wake up in the medbay.

pairing: daisy johnson x reader

cw: implied injury

word count: 568

prompt: "you're all i have", “i need you" & "your voice is putting me to sleep" by anon

The feeling of the unrelenting medical bay bed is an unwelcome but not unusual wake up call. Your eyes flutter open to find your girlfriend sitting vigil at your bedside, the blonde hair looking in dire need for a good wash and a brush being run through it. Coughing to try and get rid of the dry taste lingering in your mouth, you wake her up, her eyes darting over to you and immediately fobbing a glass of water onto you. Swallowing the drink all in one go, you dare to push yourself up on the bed, despite her anxious grimace as you move.

“What happened?” You ask, your voice notably hoarse.

“You took one of those inhuman toxin bullets for me. Apparently it is also very toxic for regular humans who are so brave and yet so freaking dumb.”

“Rather me getting put out of action for a few weeks than you being in the ground permanently. Fitzsimmons still haven’t got a cure yet.”

She lets out a quiet huff, taking the glass from you and placing it on your bedside table, her eyes not once raising any higher than your neck. Daisy plays with your fingertips, pressing kisses to each one of them over and over even when she can’t control her sniffles. You don’t say anything, knowing it’s better to let her come to you when she’s like this, but anyone on the team, especially you, getting injured is always a sore subject for her. 

“You’re all I have.” She says once you’re sitting upright, so quietly you almost miss it entirely with all the blood rushing in your ears. “I need you, I can’t lose you, I just can’t.”

“And you’re not going to.” You say softly, using your joined hands to tilt her head up so she can get a good look at your face now that you’re awake. “I’m here and I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever.”

Daisy doesn’t respond verbally, instead she gets out of the hard plastic chair you’re usually the resident of, and leans over the side of the bed, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead before peppering your entire face with kisses, the odd tear falling down her cheeks and landing on your face. When she pulls away, you smile at her, the smile weak but genuine, and she returns a watery grimace that has the makings of a smile.

“Come on, we won’t have long before Simmons is prodding and poking me, you know what she’s like. Tell me a story so I can go back to sleep, plausible deniability and all that jazz.”

Snorting at the sarcastic comment, she nods, ignoring your offer for her to join you on the bed but not letting go of your hands as she settles back down in her seat. Her story starts the same way most of hers do, with a once upon a time, and even as you drift off to sleep you can make the connections between the characters she introduces and the people you’ve come to think of as family. And just before you fall asleep, your eyes struggling to stay open, you decide to let her know the power of her soothing storytelling voice.

"Your voice is putting me to sleep."

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yeah.” You sigh. “Yeah it is. Love you Daise.”

“I love you too baby. Sweet dreams.”

[frecklesandfanfics]

One thing that really pisses me off, as a mentally ill person, is the toxic positivity movement. No, God, prayer, nature, exercise, drinking water, and most certainly not “just deciding to be happy” are not going to cure my bipolar disorder. Touching grass, going for a walk, or carrying a bottled water around are not going to make my manic or depressive episodes end. Listening to cheerful music or going to Bible studies will not combat my severe mood swings and anxiety. Those things might each do their own part, but they are not the answer, they are not enough.

You know what does help my bipolar disorder? Seeing a psychiatrist and therapist regularly and taking my damn medication. Period. It doesn’t matter if I do all of those other things or seventy thousand other suggestions I’ve received over the years since my diagnosis. The only thing that consistently works is treatment and medication. That’s it. 

I resent the idea that mentally ill people are just so weak that they cannot make themselves happy. I resent, “you’d feel so much better if you drank water/exercised every day/joined a church community.” I resent hearing songs about how you only need to make the decision to be happy or seeing tv shows where people have “a breakthrough” and there’s a happy little montage of them cleaning their house and going to bed early and going for jogs and putting on their makeup and brushing their hair or whatever and then everything’s perfect forever. It doesn’t represent reality at all and what’s worse is that it makes me despondent to not have enough self control to force myself to be happy, or to feel like I’m not normal or alone in my experience.

I want to say to anyone reading that you’re not alone. You’re not weird. What really works for long-term mental health care is treatment. Period. And then,  yeah, you’ll finally feel good enough to push yourself a little, to make yourself go for a walk, have the energy to make new friends and pursue new interests. Life can hold so much more interest, all around, when you are caring for yourself and have a treatment team, and that doesn’t make you weak or strange. 

So, in short, shut the fuck up, media and interfering grandmothers and well-meaning mothers. It isn’t as easy as “deciding” when you’re mentally ill. 

[strapskinkstories]

Looks gross don’t it? Sorry. But it is what it is. This is medical update May 25 2023

You were probably hoping to see me hop in the vacbag and have fun. I was too. But instead someone on Tuesday at the library, the Mariano’s, or another grocery store we frequent called Eurofresh was carrying some very dangerous cooties on them. Luckily it isn’t Covid. The bad news though, it’s a really nasty sinus infection that has managed to in a matter of two days wreck up my entire upper airway and start threatening my lungs.

Enter the advocate clinic. This place is my armory against all illnesses. These people have been there and ready to serve me at a moments notice with NUKEULAR grade antibiotics. And so I’ve got some NUKEULAR weapons against bacteria in my medicine cabinet and the war has begun. They might have thought they’d have an easy win but not with me and my arsenal of antibiotics.

I get these weird sinus infections in spring and winter. About twice a year. The jarring transition between seasons, the dry air, the high allergen counts. My immune system gets too busy fighting off allergens and is already hampered by the COVID vaccine. Toying around with the “COVID Simulation” molecules that it produces. This is good. This means I’m protected against Covid. But it also can sometimes backfire because if I within a month of the vaccine become exposed to a bacteria that my system can’t handle. The shit hits the fan like this.

So here we are. I’ve been knocked out of play for the last week because of my pelvis, and now I’m out for another week because of this infection.

Let’s hope this is a uncomplicated infection and it doesn’t go like last years prevotella nightmare.

My mental health can’t deal with that shit. I can’t deal with a month and a half of going back and fort with doctors. So if this antibiotic doesn’t cure everything I’ll be forcing the hospital to admit me to infectious diseases unit and go ultra NUKEULAR with IV antibiotics. Here’s to hoping that doesn’t happen because that would suck royally.

So yeah. Not exactly the update y’all wanted to be reading. I’m sure you’d rather this be an erotic story but unfortunately. This is what it is. Welcome to life living with disabilities and special medical needs.

[tomurasprincess]

(Sorry if this is too far or too gross) i can’t get the thought of Doctor!Hawks out of my head. Like just imagine him slipping you some fucked up “meds” that are just making you sick so you keep coming back to him and in your sickly state he decides to take advantage of you hehe

☆彡 Warnings: Dubcon, abuse of power, medical malpractice, drugging, light aphrodisiacs, fingering, squirting, yandere

☆彡 Note: Doctor Hawks is in the house and he has the perfect cure for you 😂

“I’ve been doing everything you said, taking all the medicine. But I haven’t been feeling any better,” you tell the doctor as you sit on the exam table. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” You’re shivering almost uncontrollably, sweat dripping down your face from a fever. Your whole body is sore and tender, and despite everything, there’s an insistent throb between your legs that you’re trying to ignore.

“Hmm, let me just take a look then.” Dr. Takami says as he pushes you down onto the table, lifting your legs gently into stirrups as he spreads them. You’re expecting him to take your temperature or maybe use the stethoscope to listen to your heart.

Anything but him reaching under your gown and cupping you intimately between your legs. Your hips buck involuntarily as a small gasp leaves your throat.

“Just a bet sensitive, are we?” His voice is professional, but his actions are anything but. 

“What - what are you doing?” 

“I’m examining you, of course. I have to make sure you’re healthy.” He slips two fingers inside of you as he finishes his sentence, and you whine at the stretch.

“I - but I’m not -”

“Not what? You’re so warm down here, so wet - I think there must be something wrong. You shouldn’t be getting wet from being sick, now should you?”

His logic is wrong, all wrong, but the fever raging through your system doesn’t let you reason it out. He’s the doctor, isn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t take advantage of you like this.

He curls his fingers up, grazing a spot inside of you that has your hips bucking and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Shit, that - please stop that.”

“Well your reactions seem normal,” he muses as he grinds against that same spot. “Does it feel good?”

“Y-y-yeah, but - “

“Then I’ll continue.”

He works his fingers in and out of you, reaching up with his other hand to press down against your lower stomach as he curls his fingers up. The feeling has you tightening around his fingers as you feel hot liquid gush out of you, whines and whimpers leaving your throat as you cum hard. He finger fucks you through it, overstimulating you and forcing you through another orgasm before you’ve even come down from the first one.

“Fuck, too sensitive, too - please stop, it’s too much - “ you babble mindlessly as you’re pushed over your peak again, more liquid squirting out of you and soaking the exam table underneath you.

He withdraws his fingers making a humming noise as he examines them. He leans down to watch your pussy clenching around nothing, letting out a soft groan at the sight.

“I think you need more medicine,” he tells you, and you nod automatically. He reaches over into his desk drawer, pulling out a pill bottle and handing it to you. “Here. Take this three times a day for a week.”

“But - “

“You’re not going to be a difficult patient, are you? Only children complain about taking their medicine” he says sternly, and you glance to the side in embarrassment. 

“Alright,” you say quietly, not able to look him in the eyes.

“Good girl,” he says as he pats your head like a dog. “I’ll see you in a week.”

[theheartofone]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: Thirty-Two

Read On: AO3 | Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Chapter Thirty-Two: The Thorned

Metal. Hatching out from soft, fragile skin, splintering out like daggers from a suit of armour.

Raya breathes loudly, silently staring at her own hands. Watching it metamorphosise. In real time.

Blood trickles across her skin from each birthing of steel, pain consuming her body in constant throbs of torture. She says nothing, does nothing, but stare at it happening in paralysed fear.

“Go get my kit, Bepo,” Law bites out, his knees messily grounding into the sand. He darkly takes in Raya’s condition, eyes flickering across her skin in thought, his head subtly tilting towards the other doctor. “Chopper, your drug – what does it consist of?”

Luffy, drawn to the commotion, widens his eyes in admiration as he stares at the silver peeking through skin. “Woah, what are those on your hands, Swords? Is that a new weapon?”

“No, it’s not,” Law spits out, shooting Luffy daggers with his eyes. He immediately looks down to the reindeer. “What did you use?”

“Atropine and Mink salve,” Chopper alertly responds to Law, as he, too, sits before Raya. His hoofs gently take in Raya’s palms, frowning intensely. “Did you take your dose today, Raya?”

Luffy frowns at his response, realisation slowly dawning in on him of the severity of the scene before him.

“Raya… are you okay?” Luffy asks – in a much quieter voice this time – as he stumbles his way towards her.

“Um,” Raya swallows, her voice trembling. Her eyes flicker to Zoro, who doesn’t even spare a glance in her direction. She notices his arms folding even tighter against his chest as he stands amidst the lapping waves. “Yeah, about half an hour ago.”

“Her tolerance,” Law mutters, making Chopper nod his head in agreement. A panicked Bepo comes running from a distance, Law’s medical tools clasped in his big paws as his eyes tear up in fear for his long lost friend’s sake.

The doctor breathes out a sigh of relief as he accepts the pack from his second mate, and with quick fingers, he begins to unfold his flap of tools. “We need to determine the condition as fast as we can. No known cause, no known cure – I’ll be honest, this isn’t good.”

“Fuck,” Raya grits her teeth, her hands slightly trembling in the fluff of Choppers soft hooves. Another metallic spike lodges its way out of her skin, almost as if reacting to her sudden anxiety. “Why don’t you keep on scaring your patient, Law? It’s doing wonders for her.”

What am I going to do? Raya thinks, watching the blood trickle heavily against her skin. Chopper presses firmly on the edge of the metallic wound, making sure to not lodge the shrapnel further into her skin. This isn’t fair. I didn’t ask for any of this.

Suddenly, a warm hand rests on Raya’s shoulder.

She looks up, surprised, only to meet Luffy’s eyes.

Almost as if he’s read her mind, a soft, comforting smile sets on his lips, a bright look that promises her safety.

“You’re okay, Swords.” He smiles. “You’ll be the silver hedgehog of our crew, if they keep on growing outta you.”

And out of the blue, a flying hand comes into contact with Luffy’s head, smacking him so hard his head dislodges from his neck.

“Shut up, Luffy!” Nami yells.

“And here we were, thinking you were gonna be supportive for once,” Usopp sullenly mumbles, unimpressed.

As Law continues his examination, Zoro finally decides to walk towards the commotion, his arms so tensely folded together, the contours of his muscles bulge out in restrained fear.

"How did this happen?" he snaps, his gaze piercing as he directs his question at Raya.

Raya bristles at his accusatory tone, her jaw tightening as she meets his gaze head-on.

"What, you think I did this to myself?"

"I didn't say that," he replies. “But you sure as hell weren’t taking care of your hands when you were sharpening that sword before.”

“I’ve been sharpening swords my entire life, Roronoa. Spare me the lecture.”

“These conditions aren’t supposed to be triggered from physical wounds, either,” Robin gently intervenes, offering a comforting smile to both Zoro and Raya. She lifts the glittering tome in front of them – the one that they stole from the Shaman Island – and flips through the pages with delicate fingers. “According to the tome.”

Nami looks up at her, hope desperately grasping at her eyes. “Did you learn anything else? Does it talk about Raya’s condition at all?”

Robin shakes her head; worry takes over in the crease of her brows. “It only addresses basic mythic changes like metamorphosis.”

“Right, yeah, because that’s totally basic knowledge. You know, metamorphosis, something everyone knows about,” Usopp mumbles, gaping at Robin.

Raya's hands tremble slightly as she watches Law and Chopper work, holding in a painful breath, while Luffy silently rests his chin on her shoulder for moral support.

Zoro's gaze remains fixed on Raya, his earlier irritation tempered by a growing sense of concern.

"So, what are we supposed to do now?"

Law sighs heavily, his expression grave as he finishes his assessment.

"We need more information," he declares, his tone clipped and business-like. "Without knowing the cause, I can't offer any definitive treatment."

Raya's heart sinks at his words, the weight of her situation pressing down on her shoulders like a leaden blanket.

"But where do we even start?" she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper.

Nami's eyes flash with realisation as she begins to mumble in a trance. "The guy I spoke to before," she softly mumbles. “The one who knows where Suki is. He knows something.”

Suki?

Raya’s heart stops, her whole body turning cold from hearing those words, before a whole flurry of metal shards pierce through her skin synchronously, making her scream out in bone-chilling pain.

“Raya!” Sanji shouts. He stares at the metal that now spreads to her arms like an uncontainable plague. He then glares at the Surgeon of Death, before furiously barking out, “Law, do something, for fuck’s sake!”

“Why don’t you stop yapping like a dog and let me do my job?” Law barks back, his narrowed in menacing slits.

But Raya doesn’t seem to be listening to them – instead, she continues to stare at Nami, her face growing paler by the moment. Blood drips onto her clothes like a monotonous metronome, her heart faintly beating in her chest, before she opens her mouth to speak.

“You know where Suki is?”

Nami looks at her worriedly, nodding softly. “Very vaguely — I mean, a potential spot on the map. I was going to tell you before, but then… I saw your hands…” her voice breaks, complete devastation taking over her composure. “We need to take you to that man, Raya. Gods save me, I’m going to find you a cure. And he might be the one who has it.”

Raya's breaths come in short, ragged gasps as she struggles to contain the agony coursing through her body. Each movement feels like a fresh onslaught of pain, the metallic protrusions from her skin digging deeper with every passing second.

No! Fuck the treatment! Fuck the concern over me! It’s Suki we need to save! She screams in her head. I’d rather die than prolong his torture further.

“No, Swords.” Luffy stares hard-eyed at Raya, almost terrifying in his assertive gaze. He moves his chin from her shoulder, looking at her face-to-face. “I’m not letting that happen.”

Raya gapes at him whilst still gasping from her pain. “I-I didn’t say anything, Luffy.”

He cocks his head at her. “But I heard your voice?”

Gods, he needs treatment more than I do.

His eyes flash up and grins in response. “See? That’s definitely you!”

“Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Zoro mutters, glaring between the swordsmith and his captain.

“You didn’t hear her?” Luffy frowns at him.

“Never mind that,” Raya forces out through clenched teeth, the pain hitting the very marrow of her bones. Another set of metallic teeth jut out from her arms, growing out like ruthless talons. “My old man is my top priority. Not my fucking arms. I swear to you, I’ll refuse any sort of medical treatment if I have to prove my point.”

Zoro scoffs out loud, almost letting his fury show through his calm composure.

“Yeah, no. That’s not happening,” he spits out, his jaw grinding together so hard Chopper begins to worry for his teeth.

Raya glares up at him, betrayal consuming her whole. If he’s so haunted by his own actions, then why’s he butting in?

“I thought we had an understanding, Roronoa,” she gasps out.

“No.” His nostrils flare, his face almost seeming drunk with anger. “Not at your expense, Tenguyama.”

Raya's breath hitches in her throat, a mix of pain and frustration swirling within her as she locks eyes with Zoro.

Zoro's expression hardens; he squares his shoulders, refusing to back down.

“Is this really what you think Suki wants? You, to needlessly die, for his sake?" he growls. “You wouldn’t be saving his life, no. You’d doom him to live a life as a broken man.”

Beat.

And Raya screams out in pure, uncontrolled fury, swiping her palms away from both doctors. She screams out so furiously, the tears that spill from her eyes are thick with fire.

She bellows into the air, so fiercely, so wildly, that the winds around her grow in such tumultuous speeds, swirling out so heavily around everyone, that Luffy’s hat almost disappears into its swallowing mouth.

“Who are you, to tell me that?” she yells out loud. And almost majestically, her feet raise from the sand.

Her eyes glow with whites and oranges as she floats within her own tempest. “You are insufferable.”

“Get down! Right now!” Law bellows at everyone, pulling himself and Bepo down to the sand. “She’s possessed!”

“Raya!” Nami screams as she scrambles for her hovering body, but before she gets anywhere near Raya, Luffy roughly tugs at her away in his arms.

“What the fuck?” Usopp screams, slamming his body to the ground with Chopper underneath his harm.

Raya does not know where she or who she is. She is simply elemental. She is both human and non-human.

And, as she rises higher and higher into the sky, her eyes blazing in a distant trance, the blood in drains from her faster and faster. She howls like the winds amongst her, cries like the way her own metal stabs at her, and all the same, she is confined to a frail human body that offers many limitations and very little freedom.

One of the limitations being blood.

Raya then collapses to the floor, no pupils found in the midst of the whiteness of her eyes.

Beat.

Zoro gathers her up in his arms, the metal from her body burrowing deeply into his own skin. He freezes in his spot for a second, allowing the metal to sink its teeth all the way into his body, allowing Raya’s complete pain to transfer into him.

And with no reaction – with no expression on his stern face, and no sound made from his clamped down mouth, he slowly moves, the shrapnels of her steel now lodged deeply in his own bloodstream.

And without even a look to the others, he walks back to the ship, with the thorned girl laying stricken in his bleeding arms.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hiiiii i hope it’s okay that I’m submitting this not on a weekend but as always I’m haunted by your fics and want as much as you’re willing to give!

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(ik this is a lot of emojis but i mean can you blame me i think this story has forever changed me - and I’m especially loving all the reunions!)

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊(buck please learn that you’re lovable and that eddie loves you for you!)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(established relationship! Don’t mind if i do! And i love how in any universe eddie can’t not keep the will a secret for a while)

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(CRANBERRY MY BABY COME BACK TO ME)

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(PROPOSAL!!!! CAL YOU’RE TOO GOOD TO ME!!!)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(this visiting each others childhoods thing is so intriguing! Can’t wait to see what scenes you’ve thought up!)

You’re my favoritest person and i already love everything you write in response to this! Thanks for sharing!!

TOTALLY OKAY THANK YOU!!!

81 for 🩸(AHH THANK YO!!!!):

---

Eddie is quiet when they leave May’s apartment. Buck understands why. It’s a lot to process. The knowledge, fresh from the CDC, that he might just collapse at any moment and wake up healed. How there is a path forward to getting his life back, but not one he can choose to take or even line himself up for. It’s cruel, really. Buck feels the cruelty of it, so he can’t imagine how much worse that is for Eddie.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Buck asks during the drive. 

“Honestly? Not really.” Eddie sighs. “Like Athena said, until there are legal protections put in place, nothing changes.”

Buck nods. “Sorry.”

I’m sorry, but I will keep you safe. I will protect you. Keep letting me. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Buck asks. “I know today has been heavy.”

Eddie thinks on it for a second.

“Can we not go home yet?”

“S-sure,” Buck says, surprised. “Is there something you want to do?”

Eddie shrugs. “Not really. I just… I just don’t want to go back to the house just yet. I want to… Can you and I just stay out longer?”

“Of course,” Buck says. “Yeah, let’s… Let’s just drive.”

“Thank you,” Eddie mutters. 

Buck takes an exit that sends them southwest. In the opposite direction of home. Towards the water. Eddie starts fiddling with Buck’s CarPlay, finding a playlist of Buck’s that they used to listen to on drives. He’s the only person in the world, besides Chris, who he lets touch his music settings when driving. He keeps the volume low, then slumps back in the passenger seat, eyes drifting shut. 

An entire Fleetwood Mac song plays. Buck struggles to focus on the road, eyes keep flicking to Eddie’s still voice, ears filled music. 

So I close my eyes softly, till I become that part of the wind…

Buck can’t help the shaky exhale that escapes his lungs. It’s easy to forget that this is real. Really Eddie, in front of him. That he’s not going to disappear into mist. Buck has to keep himself from tracing the lines of Eddie’s profile with his eyes, so they don’t accidentally swerve into oncoming traffic.

Eddie doesn’t say anything again until Stevie Nicks is done signing about tracking ghosts through the fog. 

“I can’t bank on this Spontaneous Elimination shit,” is what he says as the playlist switches to something a bit more modern. 

“No.” Buck answers, because it’s the truth. He shouldn’t sugar coat it. 

But…

“But they’re looking for other cures,” he reminds Eddie. 

Eddie nods, still not opening his eyes. 

“Accessing that would probably mean coming forward about my, uh, condition. Medical records. Paper trails.”

“There is that,” Buck agrees. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says. “For all of it, Buck.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Eddie.” Buck shakes his head. He feels frustrated. This isn’t Eddie’s fault. “I told you already I know what happened wasn’t your-”

“Not for that,” Eddie interrupts. He pauses, finally opening his eyes. “Well, yeah. Okay, that’s part of it. But more for what’s still left.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asks. 

“This whole mess. It just keeps going. I can never get my life back, I don’t think.” He explains. “And so I need you, I’m dependent on you, and I’m sorry that that means your life is… Less, I guess, than it might have been.”

Buck sighs. Fuck.

---

30 for 🌊 (ALMOST DONE THIS ONE! And he is learning it!):

---

“That makes sense,” Buck says“How can we make it quieter?” Buck asks, the thrum of his voice tickling the back of Eddie’s neck. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie admits. “I think now that things are calm, I’m mentally catching up.”

. “It’s been a crazy few days.”

“Sure has,” Eddie agrees. “And I guess… Okay, don’t take this the wrong way.”

He really doesn’t need any more misinterpretations coming out of this bed. 

“O-okay,” Buck answers nervously. 

“I think it’s actually sinking in that you’re here and I didn’t mess things up irreparably.” Eddie admits. 

“Oh,” Buck whispers. He squeezes Eddie a little tighter. “Well very few things can’t be fixed, right?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie replies. “That’s not always been my experience.”

“Mine either, but…” Buck trails off, thinking. He presses a kiss to the back of Eddie’s neck. “Maybe it’s different for us.”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie asks. “Why is that?”

“I’m not saying we don’t have to work on stuff, or whatever. Our own crap.” Buck clarifies.

---

42 for 🚨 (yesss Eddie's gonna sit on it for a minute):

---

Eddie holds his breath. 

“Okay,” Chris says after a moment. “That’s good.”

Eddie hears Buck exhale.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks. 

“So you just decided?” Chris asks, brows furrowed. “Like you decided Buck is your boyfriend now?”

Eddie isn’t sure what’s confusing him.

“Uh, yes,” he answers. What’s he gonna say? He almost died and then they had sex? Definitely not.

Christopher’s eyes widen in alarm. “Can that happen? Somebody just says you are their boyfriend now?”

“Oh, buddy. No,” Buck jumps to assuage these fears. “We talked about it. It’s what we both want.”

“Oh,” Chris says. “Phew. Because Linnea Templeton keeps following me around at recess and I don’t want her to decide I’m her boyfriend.”

Eddie tries not to laugh. “Okay, well she can’t do that, Chris. If she’s bugging you, let’s talk to your teacher, alright?”

“Alright,” Chris agrees. 

“Do you have any questions for Buck and I?” Eddie asks. 

Christopher considers. 

“I don’t know,” he asks. “Are you going to get married?”

Buck coughs a little. 

“Oh, well…” Eddie looks at Buck, cheeks heated. “I think it’s too soon to know.”

“Why?” Chris asks. 

“Those things usually take some time,” Buck replies. 

“Like how much?” Chris presses. 

What the fuck, kid?

---

21 for 🦮 (she's almost ready!):

---

Maybe there’s a difference between mourning what he lost and denying himself a future he likes. He’s not sure he trusts it. But maybe. 

“Thanks for hanging out with me today, Chris,” Buck says. “Cranberry and I are pretty lucky to have you as a friend.”

Chris grins. “You’re welcome!” 

“Your dad is going to be jealous that he had to spend all day getting soaked out there helping people while we had fun,” Buck says. 

Chris laughs. “He should play hooky from work sometimes.”

“Pfft, yeah. Who wants to go to work?” 

🦮🦮🦮

It’s close to midnight by the time Eddie gets home. Chris is sleeping in bed with the door propped open. Cranberry is curled up at the foot of his bed. Buck had meant to keep her out with him so she doesn’t wake him if she is alerted by Eddie walking through the door. But Chris had weaponized some pretty intense begging eyes when he asked to sleep with her. What was Buck supposed to do?

Eddie looks exhausted and smells like sea water and sweat.  “Thank you so much,” he says to Buck. “I seriously owe you.”

---

63 for ⚡️ (HELL YEAH A PROPOSAL):

SPOILERS AHEAD

---

“He will say yes,” Maddie replies easily. “Which I think you must already know. Otherwise the tone of this conversation would be very different.”

Buck smirks. “I think he’ll say yes.”

“Do you have a ring yet?” Maddie asks. “Are you doing a ring?” 

“No,” Buck says. “I mean, yes, I want to do a ring. No, I don’t have one.”

“Do you want help shopping?” Maddie offers. 

“Yeah, I would. I’d love that, actually.” Buck grins. “But there’s someone else I think I need to bring, too. Just gotta tell him first.”

☆☆☆

Eddie goes to the person he always goes to when he’s not sure what’s in his head, after Buck. Because he can’t exactly take this to Buck. He goes to Bobby. 

He won’t lie. He does have some reservations about bringing this to Bobby. Not that he thinks Bobby would steer him wrong. More like, it feels a bit less like going to a confidant for advice, and something closer to asking a father for blessing to marry his child. And, honestly? Maybe there is some of that here. But mostly, Eddie sincerely wants Bobby’s take. 

It is surprisingly easy for Eddie to go to Bobby without arousing curiosity in Buck. Like, Buck is almost eager for him to be out of the house?

“I need to help Pepa with some yard work,” Eddie announces, like a liar, the night before a day off. “I was thinking of going tomorrow afternoon. Are you good with Chris for the day?”

He is ready to have to say, no, Buck, I don’t need your help. I can go alone. Because it is so very like Buck to offer to help. 

Except, this time, he does no such thing.

“Sure! Have fun,” Buck grins. “Say hi to Pepa for me. Chris and I will probably go out for dinner, so stay as long as you need.”

Well, okay. 

So Eddie leaves the next day to Buck thrusting an extra-large reusable water bottle in his hand and practically ushering him out the door. He knows Chris and Buck have fun one-on-one without him, but damn. Trying not to feel at all sore about it, he drives to Bobby’s. 

Eddie did not ask Bobby if he could drop in on him and trouble him with his nuptial questions. Bobby mentioned he had no plans for their four-off, and Eddie just kind of takes advantage of that intel. 

“Eddie,” Bobby greets him with a smile. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“I was kind of hoping to talk about something sort of serious,” Eddie says. “If now is an okay time?”

“Sure,” Bobby frowns. “No transfer papers I hope?”

That fun old inside joke. Jesus. Though does he have to transfer if they get married? Is it, like, an extra conflict of interest?

“Ha, no.” Eddie chuckles awkwardly. “Definitely not.”

“Good. Then come on in,” Bobby lets him through the door. “What’s going on?”

---

27 for 🔮 (thank you so much!):

---

Has Bobby been sent here to change Maddie’s future? That seems insane and random, but who is he to say? Who is he to question it? He has to, at the very least, try. 

So Bobby walks up to the edge of the driveway, in plain view of the van, and calls out to her. 

“Excuse me!” He tries. “Maddie Buckley?”

Nothing. Maddie doesn’t turn. Buck doesn’t turn. In the van, Doug doesn’t turn. 

Interesting. 

“Maddie!” He shouts, a little louder. 

Nada. 

Bobby walks over and knocks on the side of the van. He can feel and hear it, but no one seems to notice. He picks up a stone on the ground and tosses it up the driveway, landing a foot away from the porch. No one sees. 

Okay. Okay, so Bobby is just a passenger here. He’s just meant to watch. 

In the van, Doug rolls his eyes and gives a little honk. The absolute ass. Maddie tenses on the porch.

“I have to go, Evan,” she says.

[brooklynislandgirl]

{Legitimately a crime to cut This, and it hurts my soul to do it} @kylo-wrecked

Knit two, purl two. An ever cascading rib stitch while she balances her phone between her ear and her jaw. Elizabeth Riley is no stranger to the small hours that permeate the human experience and people it with dread. With fears that were born with the earth or perhaps even long before it. It’s almost a shame that he can’t see the soft smile that blooms like certain varietals of pikake. A shame he isn’t laying across her couch with his head in her lap while she strokes his hair and occasionally forces small sips of herbal tea on him, promising to add a touch more honey next time.

“Hi,” she murmurs in his pause. “You up to somet’ing exciting?”

A fire-hazard of candles and dim lamp light bath her in flickering amber light. The colour reminds her of those moments sunlight shine directly into his eyes before he blinks himself and everything else away.

He isn’t really calling her so late because he wants to debate the sweeping expanse of ideals and realism. “It’s late,” she says. “And aren’t you small kine past cramming?” She hears movement, imagines the restless sprawl of uncoordinated limbs.

And maybe relief courses through her when he changes tack but doesn’t wholly furl his verbal sails. Good. She doesn’t think he wants to really know that medical humanities were more focused, or when she was in her approaching her residency she actively cared for a child with congenital heart disease as he died of multi-system organ failure and no poetry or philosophical argument could tell her how to let go, or help her soothe him. It was no mystery why she withdrew from the field much to her mentor’s disappointment and understanding entwined, though it isn’t something she’s talked to Ben about. He’d see her as weak. His anxiety shapes his words though and all of her rises up to try and comfort him despite being only a voice carried on the waves between cell towers. He makes her ache with that innocent honesty. And his voice, when it swells, swallows her wince. “Yeah, I s’pose so, but I like Brooklyn. Less scary t’ me dan da city, ya know? Buildings like mountains, blottin’ out da sky. Light pollution. But time..no cure for dat, I don’ t’ink.” It becomes her turn to falter before a little breath somewhere between sigh and gasp telegraphs that she’s stumbled something.

“So wha’ I wan ya do f’ me, okay? Unclench yaself, an’ cuddle up in wha’evah way make you mos’ comfortable, okay?”

Even when she commands, she makes it sound like a request.

“Now, want ya close ya eyes, an’ take deep brea’d in, deep brea’d out.” She imagines him on his side, arms and legs wrapped around a body pillow, the way he would sleep if he ever stayed a full night with her. She closes her eyes in solidarity. Breathes as she instructed. Then, very quietly at first, she reaches back to her childhood, her infancy. She reaches to the piece of herself she’s kept so far out of Ben’s reach, he likely doesn’t know it exists. At first he might hear the hesitation in her tone, she hasn’t chanted properly in what feels like aeons, nor is she a Mea oli, but while she never quite gains volume or speed, it would be almost impossible not to hear her bloom in her soft utterances. “...O ke au i kahuli wela ka honua “O ke au i kahuli lolo ka lani “O ke au i kuka’aika ka la “E ho’omalamalama i ka malama “O ke au o Makali’i ka po “O ka walewale ho’okumu honua ia “O ke kumu o ka lipo, i lipo ai “O ke kumu o ka Po, i po ai “O ka lipolipo, o ka lipolipo “O ka lipo o ka la, o ka lipo o ka po “Po wale ho--’i “Hanau ka po “Hanau Kumulipo i ka po, he kane “Hanau Po’ele i ka po, he wahine...”