#like with my autism
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an interaction im very tired of in online autism spaces. aka when you don’t have a special interest / when your special interest isn’t [character] or [fandom]
EDIT: if you’re confused on this post look at this version: https://www.tumblr.com/dinklebat/767829405172219904/some-of-you-did-not-understand-this-post-hope?source=share
also if you want to see column posts just check #column posting on my blog
EDIT 2: I turned reblogs off because you guys are literally acting like blue and I’m done.
#sorry I’ve only been hyper fixated on fandom a few time my life#and never as a special interest#this isn’t made to put down people with fandom as a special interest or hyper fixation. it’s just sometimes autism support groups are#far too focused on it than I’d like#actually autistic#autism#personal vent#dink’s stupid comics
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#oh..okay#this just explained like 80% of my childhood trauma#neurodivergent#autism#actually autistic#autistic#sensory issues
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Damn
Health insurance gets a lot cheaper when theyre not taking my moms income into account
#$100/month compared to 400#i couldve also gotten several free ones but the copays were a lot higher also if i actually had to USE my insurance for more than regular#doctor visits the deductible and out of pocket expenses were way higher#and i dont go to the doctor as much as i probably should but i might start#this one has a $3000 deductible and only 700 out of pocket as opposed to 7000 deductible and 9000 out of pocket#which is more reasonable#i did not check if gender affirming care is covered cuz my mom was helping me and i got stuck debating if i wanted to get into that rn#the anxiety won out in the end#if my dad hadnt been sitting on the couch gaming i mightve been able to push through it#id rather just tell my mom and then SHE can tell other people#like with my autism#i mean. she tries not to do that cuz she hared when her mom shared personal information about her with other people#but mom. pls. i hate talking to people. i will avoid conversations as much as possible. even if its things i want people to know about me#please just tell them for me so i dont have to#at least when it comes to family#i can tell my friends shit#most of the time#but it helps that i have grandmas on both sides that are extroverts that tend to overshare#mom just has to tell them and itll get out there#i use my oversharing grandmas to my advantage#i just have to be strategic in what i tell them#or in most cases what i want my mom to tell them
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Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)
Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.
I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.
#wrenfea.exe#was going to keep this in drafts for a bit but wanted to post to give my solidarity with morg#gifted kids act like they are the most oppressed but in my experience they love feeling better than other people#disability#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#chronic illness#physical disability#autism
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beanbag chair psychology
#dtawing#homestuck#karkat vantas#rose lalonde#she's asking because she also has autism#WISH we'd seen more of these two interacting on the meteor they both love pretending to know about other people's brains#this took me like two days to make for no reason#i don't draw comics often#because usually by the time ive finished them ive rolled the punchline around in my brain so many times im worried its not funny anymore#but regardless#the Funny
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the mobile phone museum is a online museum featuring over 2000 types of old and funky phones that’s amazing for seeing old phones and getting info about them for stuff like writing/art or just because they’re so cool and i love them look at them
behold! some of my favourite silly creatures :3
#these are more early 00s era weird phones im gonna make a second post abt late 00s era cool fashion phones but oh my god I love this#I have 00s era phone autism i love them so much I respect this guy just collecting like thousands of them#00’s#00s tech#y2k#y2k aesthetic#old tech#resources
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marmar
#my art#adventure time#fionna and cake#marceline#when I tell u my jaw fucking dropped to the floor as soon as I saw her in these outfits#had to draw them IMMEDIATELY like the autism demon took over
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dedicated to the hundreds of hearts i broke
#here's something nice for yall B)#tadc#the amazing digital circus#my art#fanart#art#tadc fanart#tadc kinger#tadc queenie#kinger tadc#queenie tadc#queenie x kinger#kinger x queenie#tadc checkmates#i like to think theyre adhd and autism respectively#checkmates
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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she was dead silent on the drive home, but that was okay. sometimes, after band practice, she was just out of words. it was a short drive to her house. the only part where it actually felt weird was after i pulled up her parent’s driveway.
after that, the silence stretched so far it smeared and left a weird residue. she kept looking at the car door like she wanted to leave, so i looked at the door too, then she looked at me, and i looked at her, and my first thought was that she was going to tell me that the door was stuck. i was used to that car always doing some damn thing. it was the car me and all my siblings had learned to drive in, and it was really beat to hell. there were dents all over the body, which we’d unsuccessfully tried fixing up with spackle. it had looked nice for maybe a week, but then the sun wrecked it - the spackle cracked up like the mud on the bottom of a dry riverbed and turned a sort of off yellow-white that made the car looked like it had been molded out of chicken shit. it also had a bullet hole it through the cabin that whistled like a toothless old man whenever the car went above 40, so loud it could drown out the radio, and a cabin that smelled so strongly of bugspray that even the arizona summer we drove everywhere we could with the windows down.
(if you have kids one day, you will maybe, possibly, begin to understand how much i loved that car.)
anyway, i was thinking about what else could possibly be wrong with the chickenshitmobile, and she just kept looking at me, and then i wondered if there was something on my face, and she just kept looking at me, and then the penny dropped and i realized she was trying to work up the nerve to break up with me.
now, i’d seen her work up the nerve to do things like this before – it could take quite a while. and knowing it was about to happen made the waiting immediately unbearable.
so i said hey.
and she looked at me, very startled, and said hey back real small. like she’d been caught. and in a way, i suppose she had.
and i said it’s okay. you can just say it. i’ll be okay.
i’m always okay.
and she said: i’m really sorry.
i loved her, you know? it was highschool, but teenagers are capable of love. the way people love changes over time just as much as the way they stand, or the way they talk, but things don’t stop existing just because they're different. opposite really – a thing only stops changing when it's fully gone.
and i said, nothing to be sorry for, and i meant it. she looked a little relived, and i was happy to give her that peace. then she left. i watched her make it through the front door, because that was just habit at that point, and then i sat there a while afterwards, checking how i felt. and the answer was not good, but good enough to make it home. good enough to limp on.
so i put my car in reverse, took my last look goodbye, and immediately backed into her neighbor’s car.
crunch.
air bags didn't go off, which was good. i left a decent dent in the bumper of the other car. genuinely couldn’t tell if i did anything to my car – anything wrong with it just kind of blended together into the general ecosystem of hand mottled, sun cracked, chickenshit spackle.
i checked my glove box, and my car insurance info was, of course, out of date. my phone was dead too. as a teenager, my phone was less my lifeline to my friends, and more my tether to my parents, so i wasn’t particularly conscious of keeping it charged. both my fault.
i sat there a few minutes, trying to think of the best way to handle things, and there was only one answer i could think of, and i hated that answer, so i spent a few more minutes trying and failing to think of a better one, and then a few more coming to peace with what had to be done.
then i went back to knock on my now ex’s front door.
her dad opened, which i was very relieved over, even if he seemed less than thrilled. he looked me over, and in a firm, but slightly apologetic way said: she does not want to see you right now.
(i think he assumed i was going to try and talk her out of the break up?)
and i said not here for her. i just backed into your neighbor’s car, and i need to call my dad, but my phone’s dead. could i borrow yours?
and he looked at me, then back at his neighbors car, which sure enough was dented, then he looked at the chickenshitmobile, and if there was something wrong with it, it just kind of blended into the general Wrongness of the car, then back to me, and i could see him imagining the last ten minutes from my pov: getting broken up with, backing into a car, having to walk up to your exes door and borrow a phone, calling my dad to tell him that i just reversed into someone.
and his expression shifted from stern and apologetic to truly sad, which felt more kind that i deserved. things only got here because i kept fucking up - forgot to look behind me, forgot to replace the insurance forms, forgot to charge my phone. it was my mess, but his sympathy meant the world to me. i probably would’ve cried if he said sorry, or patted me on the back or called me sport, but instead he said
stay out here – i’ll bring you a phone.
and then he left.
i found a nice spot on the lawn in the shade under a sycamore, then settled into his grass.i was trying not to freak out, and was doing an okay job. he came out a minute or so later, not just with a phone, but a juicebox and a jar of green olives, which really threw a wrench in the whole try not to cry thing. soon as i saw those, a few tears squoze out. i was still hoping i could pass them off as Manly Tears but then he told me that he’d gotten the olives a few weeks before and had been meaning to hand them off to me, and that this was his last chance for that. then i made a sound like a horse drowning in a bog, and he patted my back pretty rough, four solid thumps, like he wasn't sure if i was crying or choking on an olive, and was trying to cover both bases at once.
then he went back inside, and i made a few more bog horse noises while finishing off the rest of the entire jar of green olives, and then i called my dad.
he was about ten minutes away that day, and luckily was home. he drove over, and we went to the neighbor’s house, and from there things actually went quite nice. the neighbor was a retired man who actually said he could fix the dent himself, no need for insurance. he said he appreciated that i didn't just drive off, and i said i was really sorry about his car, and he said he was really sorry about my car, and then he gestured to the chickenshitmobile and i laughed because it really was a disaster on wheels.
then we left.
i thought we were going to head straight home, but instead we went to a gas station, and we both got several slim jims that we folded into thick enough coils that we could put them on a hotdog bun because the growing up mormon equivalent of having a sad brewski with your dad is just choosing to make bad decisions sober. then he took me to the canals and we watched the sun turn all orange and pink, and he looked over at me and said:
brains are good at remembering bad days. so you gotta make sure that a bad day has a good part in in, so you can remember that too. remember that when you have a kid. try to do a good job on days like that - they're going to be a big part of how they remember you.
and then he gave me a big hug and said he was never going to eat another slim jim again.
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the year after that i went to college, which kicked my butt in new and exciting ways. and on a lot of those bad days, after a test that went sour, or a faux paus that was particularly embarrassing, or some other hardship of my new adult life, i’d stop by the gas station and pick up leathery, half jerkied hotdog before heading to the canals to watch the sun set. i’d take a bite and imagine my dad next to me, grimacing through the slim-jim wad, asking what good thing i was going use that time to remember.
and in my head, i’d say you, dad.
i’m going to remember you.
#babylon-lore#dad lore#stories#breakups#gas station hotdogs#i really like green olives okay#i dont have a sense of smell so if food isnt like WHAM in the flavor department it just doesnt do a lot for me#in my sophomore year i ate so many homemade pickles that i actually got a wee bit of scurvy#major autism L
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#I was watching an austrian guys video on foraging mushrooms#and I swear this was the cold open#and it fully activated my autism#like yes. YES. SHLAPP THAT BOY!!#the channel is called Mykohunter365 but it is entirely in german I'm afraid#still. enjoy this 2 second clip my tumblr girlies#shlappshlappshlappsh#mushroom#mycology#foraging#autism#video#forest#my stuff#ok to rb#TURN ON SOUND
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Don't laugh at people or mock people who are "childish". People are allowed to like things that are considered "childish". Toys, kids cartoons, anything like that can be a valuable source of comfort for the people who like them. It's important to have things in life that make you happy, and without them it gets miserable. Wether that thing is stuffed animals or cooking or writing lyrics, what's important is that others don't ridicule and belittle them for it. There shouldn't be such judgement for the things that make people happy.
#i'm just really pissed rn#once again my family is making fun of me to my face for having a lot of stuffed animals#they make me comfortable and happy#especially when i'm overwhelmed#i shouldn't even NEED to justify it like this#serious post#my post#autism#sfw agere#age regression#actually autistic#serious talk#important#idk what to tag#neurodivergent
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Have you ever wanted to play a cute monster taming game with lots of love and heart put into every inch and corner of it by a Team of fantastically talented artists?
Me too!! Too bad it got cancelled literally a few weeks before it was going to be anounced!
Artist Nicholas Kole on twitter along with many other talented artists have been sharing their work of nearly 4 years on this game. I cant imagine the heartbreak of working so hard on this project only for it to get canceled right before Release and everyone on the Team to get laid off.
It was meant to be an open world, minecraft inspired builder, with all sorts of unique creatures with various skins, variations depending on biomes, and even petting animations. That you could tame! It also had a large amount of beautiful and unique character customization. Here's some of the art ( NOT MY ART ) for the project!
Apparently alot of this game was near finished, coded, etc! ( ART ABOVE IS BY NICHOLAS KOLE , JOHANNES FIGLHUBER, INES MARSAL, AND MARIA LOBANOVA )
I dont know if the artists can look into crowdfunding ( the Studio still may own the IP ) , but myself and a few others have been trying to get the hashtag #bringbackprojectdragon get some traction on twitter! Maybe if the internet raises enough stink, the Studio might pay attention. Im not sure how likely that is but I desperately want thus game to exsist, it would be a dream game for me and many others im sure. So please consider joining in if you have a twitter.
#Not my art#nicholas kole#project dragon#creature taming game#creature concept art#game#please get this hashtag trending i would die for a game like this#im devastated#my autism would have me obsessed with this for years#dragon#animal game#taming#video game#pheonix labs#xbox#game dev#game development#gaming industry#games industry#layoffs
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when he gets to the old hunters dlc he’s gonna wish he was back at Urbanshade LOLLLL
#slightly more of my post-urbanshade au#I will serious post about it soon I swear#just let me autism out and make my fav characters play my fav game#my art#artists on tumblr#shitpost#roblox#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#sebastian solace#sebastian pressure#p.ai.nter pressure#pressure#pressure oc#I would tag bloodborne but it’s only like. referenced here
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screaming
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I was a low verbal autistic kid that used plushies to communicate with people, and boy howdy did teachers/adults in general not like that past a certain age. Jokes on u fukkos, cool people absolutely adore seeing plushies just hangin out
#peep peep bitch#his ass does smell like gin tho#the gays are messy#literally#stop spillin ur drinks on me#shits expensive and wet#anywho#my art#autism
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