#like with certain textures being an issue

[alcapeasstuff]

Now I could be tripping

Or I’ve been a communist since birth

In middle school so far, whole ass fucking awakening, philosophical and political debates with my dad (love you dad), reading the communist manifesto online, asking for a bust of Karl Marx and Ushanka (not Soviet, I’m Polish I don’t exactly have the best views of Stalin’s USSR), I’m playing Disco Elysium (that says enough as is), and fucking communist history prior to Marx and Engels

I’m getting off topic

I don’t know if everyone was like this as a little kid

But hot DAYUM

I went around saying shit like “I think everyone should be equal”, “why can’t everyone get paid the same”, “can’t we all share the earth? God didn’t create land for people to own, it’s for the animals” and fucking “I think dad should get paid more instead of his boss taking all the money”

Holy FUCK even I didn’t know how communist I was back then until like

Today

And side note, I’ve also been pro lgbt most of my life without knowing it

Of course now im obviously pro lgbt becuase

Well

I’m part of the community

But before I even know what gay or lesbian or bi or trans was, I still said stuff like “why can’t boys wear skirts?”, “but I like the color pink, I don’t think colors have genders”, “why is it wrong for boys to kiss other boys?” And “aren’t we all human? Everyone should live how they wish”

I mean Jesus Christ

Again my dad probably shaped most of these primitive beliefs I had

Even in his own words he says he doesn’t necessarily support lgbt people (not like homophobic or transphobic but like he doesn’t really understand it), I asked him once what he thought of trans or non binary people were and his exact words were:

“I mean we’re all human, I don’t care what you do, love who you want, I’m not saying I’m pro-fag or anything but to each their own, it’s not my business who you like”

My mom tried telling me he said he’d disown me if I was gay

And he told me one day (I have NOT come out yet) that he would prefer if I was straight, but I’m still his kid no matter what, and the straight part was only because he wanted generically related grandkids, but he noted if I was gay I could just adopt, hell he doesn’t even really seem to care about grandkids or not

My mom told me “oh gays shouldn’t adopt because what if the kids grow up thinking it’s normal” and my dad told her “well it is, people like who they want it boils down to how the governments wants them treated, but you shouldn’t think people deserve hate because who they wanna have sex with”

I love my dad

How did I get here?

[ender--slime]

thinking about how. in all the sludge of mascot horror games made just to sell merch and get big on youtube there’s one gem that’s a harrowing and horrifying story about a poor black family getting taken advantage of and exploited by a company who doesn’t even see them as human. about a little black girl who had her childhood taken away and wasn’t even allowed to be a little girl. about a black man who was likely killed by this company and then accused of “abandoning his daughter”. about a library and a neighborhood getting gentrified in the background.

and then people went and whitewashed her and said “i can draw her how i want”

[tittyinfinity]

it's crazy finding out you're autistic as an adult bc then you start to notice the ways it affects you and has affected you throughout life

and then it becomes a hyperfixation bc you're like "omg this makes so much sense now" and you start feeling a bit better about yourself knowing that there's an explanation to everything

[crow-n-tell]

Autism

not as far as I’m aware

do have adhd tho.

[the-bees-are-beeing]

I ate sth with a texture i didn't like and istg I can still feel the texture after almost 30 min.

[angered-box]

yknow realizing my family was super fucking mean to me for no reason before i turned 18

[transshinonomes]

the way toya and rui’s characters are….. they’re so. autism. augh.

[eternal-trashfire]

And you’d be correct

Saw a thread on Twitter of "gifts to give a person with ADHD and autism" that was full of stereotypical and quite frankly patronizing items, so here's a list of I (autistic individual) want instead as a gift

Money

Fourteen billion dollars

Free coupon to kill somebody with my teeth

Suitcase full of money

Cool looking rock

Scratching post for me to sink my claws into

An albino elephant

The head of Jeff Bezos mounted on my wall

Uncooked rice

A cup full of blood

100k in cash

[plushie-lovey]

I tend to get sensory issues super easily but I’m getting used to his fur! I’m excited for my softer one to come though, he’s a German pointer and my current one is a Bernese mountain dog

That's fair, there's also that sort of issue that can get in the way. The german shorthair pointer looks like a very good plush! It's smooth coated, isn't it? That should be nice to smoothe your hand down its back.

[walking-loather]

Will never forget being a kid and telling someone i was south african only to have them ask:

"Did you have clothes in africa?"

"Had you ever had a bath before coming to Australia?"

"Did you live in a house with walls and bricks?"

Like. Yeah, I guess we were 8... But also i feel like a lot of people's understanding of "Africa" has never really progressed past that point.

[andromerot]

movie likers and knowers might rightfully have me killed for this but i think the thing about "id like to watch more movies but i have poor concentration" is its literally okay to get distracted during movies. its literally fine. now i do understand why this might not be enjoyable for some people but it can be if you want it to be. missing scenes, or not understanding certain plot points, or "misinterpreting" some things about the visual language, or other things that might derive from not being laser focused on the film – these are all things that are part of your experience with the text, which is i think highly individual and contextual, and people who can pay more attention than you or are more engaged simply have a different experience. and while im someone who really intellectualizes and rationalizes what im watching i also think the way i most enjoy a movie and the way its information most easily enters me is sensorial, almost as a texture of something i can touch. i love beautiful images and words and light and movement and i love them when theyre ugly, too. hearing a voice that pierces the heart or an image that will stay forever in the back of my head, thats what makes movies special and different from other ways of thought transmission.

and really while this applies to people who dont want to watch 2 hour movies because of attention issues i really think its important to remember this when watching slow cinema. because no one can pay full attention to anything for four hours (or eleven) (even if you take breaks) and when you see eight minutes of a man walking through a field in silence your mind Will wander. and the places it goes to (other movies you remember have similar scenes, poems, where you think the movies going, but also: what youll make for lunch, a woman you love, your tasks for the week you least want to do, the phone you might pull out and look at while keeping a side-eye on the man on the field), they're a part of the way you experience that guy walking around, and the way you'll fill it with meaning and remember it later. and its literally fine. do whatever you want forever. i need to try out1 again

[lizzy019]

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────

König who is overly sensitive when you mention things that hit his sore spots. You comment on his height? His shoulders will sag. You mention how awkward he is at times? Don't expect a response from him for the rest of the day. You tease him for his scarring, even if it's playful? His skin will be covered for the whole week.

König who adores how soft your skin is when he first got to touch it, to lay his thick and calloused hands on it. The colour, the light fuzz of hair, the precious marks and dots that reminded him of just how individual and lovely you were.

König who can't stand the overly plush mattress of yours, and would rather sleep on the floor. Being in the military since 17, he's come to enjoy the harder type of mattress to sleep on due to the cots, so your overly fluffy bed annoyed him, even if it cradled him nicely.

König who would definitely wear anything for you, and I mean ANYTHING. Even if it won't fit, if you like it on him whether it compliments his skin or if it would just look cute on him, he'd buy it and wear it while covering the soft pinkish hue on his cheeks.

König who loves cooking you authentic Austrian cuisines and desserts for you to try. If you don't like it, he'll give the most playful expression of fake hurt, a hand placed against his chest as if he was distraught, but he wouldn't force you to like it or anything. More food for him!

König who absolutely needs cuddles after he comes back from his military service, craving that feeling of being able to bury himself in your grasp, engulfing his senses with you and your body.

König who has a bit of a possessive issue when it comes to you, but it's almost so subtle that it just seems like he's clingy. With his height and how he looks compared to you, he would kill anyone who dare came near you to try and take you away from him.

König who's too lazy when it comes to his laundry, and he has two hampers loaded with clothes that desperately need a wash. (He probably bought new ones just to avoid washing his dirty clothes 0.0 and he didn't wash the one he bought either lmaoo)

König who has some bad mommy issues, always needing a little bit of scratches to his scalp to relax and soothe him when he needs sleep. Begging you almost for some gentle scratches for his scalp that just craves the sensational feeling of tingles.

König who definitely supports you in whatever you do or say a bit too outwardly. You dress in a certain manner? Fuck yeah! You have a strong opinion about something? Ja! You don't like Austria but he's an exception? He's fucking honoured! (lmaooo I can picture it thooo)

König who LOVES lava temperature baths, it really gets to the deepest parts of his sore and stiff muscles, plus, it's funny seeing you try to stay completely still so the heat of the water doesn't affect you as much as when you move around. You're just so cute to him!

König who is secretly submissive and doesn't know how to tell you 0.0

König who fucking worships you like a god. In a sense, you're his Lord and Saviour, protecting him emotionally and being there for him when things get too rough. You provide him solace and comfort, a serenity that he can't find anywhere else and he's eternally grateful for it.

König who likes playing with your hair, no matter its texture <3

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────

[weird-and-unwell]

“Autism isn’t a disability”, “it’s just a difference”.

I am of lower support needs. I hold down a (part time) job. I have travelled around my home country. I live alone.

At work they complain about my speech. I’m too quiet, they say, “barely audible” is the words used at my autism assessment. My voice is all monotone, and it needs to be more expressive. I get this complaint every week for a year straight, until my manager gives up. I don’t attend trainings because I forget and find it overwhelming anyways. My coworkers form friendships, and I watch them talk, wondering how they make it look so easy. I get a new manager, I tell her I find the work socials too overwhelming to attend. She tells me I can just say I don’t want to come. I don’t know how to tell her that I desperately want to, to be like the rest of my coworkers, instead of constantly being the one sat on the sidelines.

I come home, and I can hear my neighbours again. The niggling background noise messes with my head, and I meltdown; I throw myself on the floor, I hit my head on the ground repeatedly as I scream and cry, tear out my hair and scratch my arms and face. When I complain, people tell me that I just have to accept that neighbours make noise, that I should just ignore it, or block it out. I am the problem, the one overreacting. I put in earplugs and it hurts and I'm crying again. I wear headphones but I can't handle the noise for that long.

I have reminders set for everything. Every chore, no matter how big or small. My phone beeps at me, reminding me that I need to wash the dishes. If I don't go now, then tick the little box on my phone to say I did it, it won't get done. My home is almost always a mess despite this. It's not just chores either. I won't think to wash, dress myself, brush my teeth or hair, without those reminders. And unless someone actively prompts me to do so, I will do those tasks "wrong". I haven't changed my underwear in a month, and I'm currently aware that's a problem, but within the hour I'm going to forget all over again until I'm next prompted.

I can't sleep without medication - it's not unusual for autistic people to have messed up circadian rhythms. Without my medication it's hard to even tell when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. When I was younger and at school I slept through so many lessons, and when I have my mandatory breaks from my sleep meds I sleep through every alarm I set. I want to work full time some day, and I'm terrified of what my sleep issue will mean for me then.

I don't travel independently. I don't travel anywhere alone, always with someone or to someone. If to someone, I have assistance the whole way. I find it embarrassing sometimes. Yes, I have a job that requires a certain level of intelligence. No, I cannot get on a train by myself. If I am not shown To The Train, To My Seat, I will be unable to travel.

Last time I travelled, I was left alone at the station for ten minutes. I stayed rigid and sobbed the whole time. I was overwhelmed. It was too loud, I didn't know where I was or where I was meant to be going, and until the assistance person came back I couldn't do anything because for some reason I cannot understand it.

I spend a lot of time trying to explain to people that despite my relative competence, I am unable to do many things. Why can I understand high level maths but not how to get on a damn train? No fucking idea.

"Autism isn't a disability" most severely affects those with higher support needs, and this is absolutely not to take away from them. But for fucks sake, autism is disabling.

Maybe you personally are extremely lucky and just find you're a little "socially awkward", or just find some textures painful or nauseating. Maybe you would be fine with just a couple of adjustments.

But for a lot of us, even lower support needs autistics, it doesn't work like that. I will never sleep properly without medication. I still have the self-harming type of meltdowns as an adult, over things that are deemed as being "just part of life". I live alone but have daily visits from family - if I'm left fully alone I forget all the little daily things one is "meant" to do. I had speech therapy as a child to get me to the "barely audible" "mostly correct" speech. I don't mask, I'm not really sure how I would to begin with.

I'm not unhappy with being autistic. It's just who I am. Life would be easier if I were neurotypical, but I also wouldn't be me. I just wish those luckier than me could...stop saying it's all chill and not at all a disability.

Because yes, socially, I am "awkward". I obviously don't make eye contact - I stare down and to the side of whoever I speak to. People think it's weird or creepy or a sign of disinterest. My autism assessor wrote down about how I often use words and phrases that don't make sense to others, even though they make perfect sense to me. In my daily life this means I'm frequently misunderstood, and have to try explain what I mean, when what I mean is exactly what I said, and the true issue is that what I mean just doesn't make sense to others. I gesture, at times, but again, my gestures apparently don't make sense in relation to what I'm saying. I take things literally, I have almost no filter, and I can't explain how I go from topic to topic.

And yes, I do have sensory problems. Sometimes people, including others with sensory problems, tell me that "sometimes sensory issues have to be tolerated", and I wonder what they think of as being sensory issues. I'm sure they do struggle, but if I say I can't handle a touch, I mean you will need to forcefully hold it against me for me to touch it more than a second and it will make me meltdown. If I say "I can't eat that", I mean that I am unable to swallow it, that I will gag and choke and inevitably spit it back out, as much as I try. If I say I can't handle a noise, I mean I'm so close to a meltdown and my meltdowns are a problem for everyone around me.

But yes. Autism. Not a disability. Just a fun quirky difference.

[animalstamp]

Rainwings Reference

Rainwings Reference

Fins:

Many types of fins

Used for expressions and hearing.

Even more styles then shown and there is no real rhythm or reason for the different appearances.

*Hooded is based on place of attachment. Hooded fins attach at the ears and extent down to the middle of the throat. Can be combined with other fin types.

Skin and Texture Mimicry:

Rainwings have very soft skin compared to the other tribes.

This soft, malleable skin and be manipulated by the Rainwing to take on many shapes much like a cuttlefish.

Rainwings’ skin (by an account of Nightwing researchers) is startlingly stretchy. Getting a proper grip is difficult. Removed skin loses its ability to change color or shape and turn an unpleasant grey color.

Color Expression:

Rainwings have the ability to turn any color that they can perceive. *More colors than humans can see

Colors are assigned to certain emotions, but context is also very important. Colors, just like words, can have double meanings and some combos make a more complicated expression.

Expression Colors show first on the face and the bigger the emotion further the color takes over a Rainwings’ base color. (Base color is the Rainwings’ favorite or preferred color and pattern.)

Blue (Bright)- Smugness or confident

Blue (Dark)- Sadness

Purple- In amor or Pride

Pink-Pleased

Red-Anger

Orange-Warning, frustration

Yellow- Alarm, excitement, hunger

Green (Bright)- Fear, startled

Green (Dark)- Envy or Jealousy or Tried

Black- Pain, Depression, Illness

Grey- Closed off, bored, being dead serious…or being dead.

Make sure to remember that context matters. Just because a Rainwings’ favorite color is red doesn’t mean that they are constantly angry. Genuine emotion is often a quick flash across the face much like human eyebrows. Rainwings can color how much or how little emotion they show, and some are better at it than others.

Extra:

Rainwing hands have thick and grippy pads on the fingers and palms. (They look like beans) Hands are different than the other tribes with the middlemost fingers being the same length and the other two acting like thumbs.

Wing talon is very long and strong, acting like a second pair of arms. A dragon might be able to hang in the trees with just their wings.

Have some of the fastest reflexes out of all the tribes. A Rainwing could spit before another dragon would even form a thought about breathing. (It’s a good thing they’re pacifist.)

Despite or because of their soft skin they have a far better healing factor. Wounds that might be permanent or deadly are recoverable for them. Damage that would take another dragon months takes a Rainwing weeks. (With them being in good health and having plenty of sunlight.)

Rainwing Venom is really an acid. Adult dragons have stronger acid and the older the dragon the more powerful it becomes. Dragonet’s acid is still painful, however, if a little less deadly. A bigger issue is young dragons also have less control and instead of spitting they will spray acid everywhere if frightened. (Testimony from a Nightwing researcher.)

[felassan]

David Gaider on Flemeth, under a cut for length:

"I have a type. I admit it. There are certain wells I can return to repeatedly and always find something new to explore. One of them is older female characters. Mike used to rib me about it. Consider Wynne. Meredith. Genevieve. And, of course, the biggie: Flemeth. Why are they a type? I... don't know, honestly. I guess I have a feeling that older men fade, they strive to regain their youth or establish a legacy and we've seen that story a thousand times, but older women? They become free to become something new. I guess I see so many possibilities in that. I had a conception of who Flemeth was, and why, right from the very start. Her creation went hand in hand with Morrigan, as a being whose thirst for retribution hundreds of years ago attracted an entity (slight confession: I didn't know Mythal specifically, at the time, "an elven god" was enough). I also knew where Morrigan was right and very wrong about her. Misconceptions of the truth are built into DA's foundation, and they were fundamental to this mother-daughter relationship I was building. Like many seeds I'd put in the world, however, I had no idea whether I'd ever get to explore it. Knowing that she was a character of possible future importance, if not a major player in DAO, I wasn't much surprised when she was one of the first cuts the art team made in terms of getting a unique appearance. Thus the "batty old woman" players met in DAO. Not as hard a cut as the Qunari, though."

"Going into DA2, I wanted both Morrigan and Flemeth, but we could only have one. So I picked Flemeth. This was the game where she really got to come into her own. I remember the art team coming and asking if it was OK if she got a new model, as it'd be a retcon of sorts. I didn't care. I wanted it. I honestly don't remember whether Kate Mulgrew was cast before or after Claudia. After, I think? All I recall is that Cab came into my office one day and asked if Kate might be a good fit. Asked me, the dyed-in-the-wool Trekkie who had stuck with Voyager even through the admittedly lean years? The squeal I made was un-manly. Cab took that as a "yes". 😅 I didn't get to talk to Kate until DA2, however. Schedules being what they were, we had a tight window to record Flemeth... so I had to write all her scenes before almost anything else in DA2 was written, before I even had a team! Ack! It was OK, though, for the most part. I knew where I wanted to take her, and a big part of it was going to explain her transition - to set her up for the future. So I whipped up a script in, like, two days and off we went. Kate was a marvel in the booth. She adored Flemeth and you could really tell. I didn't get to meet Kate in person, however, until DAI. This came pretty late in its development, compared to when we recorded her for DA2, and we flew down to Virginia (to accommodate her schedule - she was writing her memoir at the time, I think) for a single session. It was going to be *tight*."

"I was a mess. I was finally going to meet Captain Janeway... and yes yes, I know she's also more than that. But come ON. When we sat down, I figured I'd have to talk her through the character all over again. It'd been years since that one session at the start of DA2, right? And even more since DAO. But, no. Kate remembered Flemeth perfectly. I remember sitting there as she told me how much she loved the character, how rare it was to get one with so much texture and possibility. She called out my writing - my writing! - and waxed poetic about how she viewed Flemeth's arc. I... I was floored. 🫠 Then we began recording. One issue that quickly reared its head was how Caroline had to speed through the lines if we hoped to finish. Kate was a trooper, and most takes she'd get it in one (which is rare), but I was alarmed because we weren't giving Kate time to read the VO comments on each line. I brought it up, as there were some lines (so much sarcasm) that required nuance - Kate was getting them, oddly, but I was worried. "Oh, it's fine," Kate said. "I read the comments as we go." "How could you? We're going so fast!" "I'm a speed reader." Oh. OK, then. That certainly explained it. 😁 We got to the confrontation scene with Morrigan and she nailed it. Over and over. More than once, Caroline would make a call and, before I could even interject and say "no, Kate had it right, actually" Kate would explain exactly why she did it that way and why it worked for Flemeth. I was in love. She did the "I will see her avenged!" section all in one go. I got chills. Then we got to the final scene. You know the one. With Solas. It was this beautiful moment. She took it somewhere quiet and sad... and when she got to that last line, we all felt it: Flemeth was dead. Everyone was in tears. I suppose I could talk more about the process. How she started off aligned with Morrigan's original Delirium inspiration, but I didn't pull back her loopy way of talking as much (bet you wondered). I still don't know why it was so easy to slip into her voice, but I'm grateful I got the chance. ❤️"

[source thread]

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmm danny with sensory issues both in and out of his ghost forms, but on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Ghosts can't experience sensations the same way humans can when they're in the mortal realm. They're naturally intangible, and it takes energy to be physical. When they're physical, all touch feels the same barring the texture. They feel no heat, no chill. Sunlight passes through them, and so does wind and rain.

You know when your foot falls asleep/goes completely numb, and you go to touch it with your hand and it causes a strange jumble of sensations? You can feel the skin there, your palm is pressing against an object and there's resistance, pressure, but you can't feel the heat? It's kinda something like that. Like he's feeling everything through a set of gloves.

As a ghost, when it rains, he can feel the raindrops hitting him, and he can feel his hair getting wet, but he can't feel the chill of the water and he can't feel the wetness. His suit is soaked but there's no weight like there should be. During the winter snowflakes don't melt when they land on him, and he can't feel the chill of the snow when he gets buried under it.

Sunlight passes through him, a nice breeze ruffles his hair but there's no relief in the sensation. All pressure, no sensation. It's like a strange form of sensory deprivation. And of course, the internal things. It's even worse when he's intangible, when he's not putting energy into being physical. He doesn't feel real.

As human, things become too much. Especially when he's been a ghost for hours. He can feel the weight of his ribs pressing against his ribs, he becomes hyperaware of the expanding of his lungs when he breathes, the feeling of his heart pulsing in his chest.

He curls his fingers in and out slowly and becomes fascinated by the feeling of the joints moving. He turns and grabs Tucker's hand, and soaks in the warmth of his body heat -- he can't feel it as a ghost. He runs his fingers through his hair, and he can feel the individual strands.

There's a weight when he walks. A small drag when he bends his knee and lifts his leg and takes a step, and when he's been a ghost for too long he stumbles over himself, drags his feet along the floor and stomps when he doesn't mean to because he forgot to weigh his steps. Sometimes when it rains he goes out and sits on the front steps of the house just so he can come back in shivering and soaked through to the bone. Runs his fingers obsessively over the goosebumps up along his arms and legs because he can't get them as a ghost even if he's cold.

Because there are certain things, even when he's in the ghost zone, that are exclusive to the living. The little internal things you don't notice and take for granted. Things like breathing and goosebumps and exhaustion exclusive to running that makes your heart pound against your ribcage and your chest hurt with the need for air. Sore muscles from working out and sweating. Thirst and dry mouths, chapped lips and hands, blinking and dry eye, the feeling of the sun soaking into your skin on a nice summer's day.

As a ghost, Danny faces sensory issues in the form of not enough. When he can't feel the hair behind his ears or the weight in his limbs where there should be muscle, tissue, and bone. He can't feel the sun or the wind, everything is in a permeable state of 'just fine', and its maddening. He can breathe if he wants, but there's no point to it. He has no lungs, he can't feel them expand, and there's no relief behind it. He's going through the motions without any of the reward.

On those days, the idea of going ghost again makes him feel ill. Paranoid. He can't stand the thought. He needs to feel. He needs to feel the soft texture of the rug beneath his feet and the grooves in his knuckles, he needs to feel dirt crumble beneath his fingers and get stuck under his nails, he needs to feel the heat of his sister's hand and the feeling of body warmth passing from her to him. He lays on the carpet room and stretches out, and focuses on the feeling of his heart beating and the weight of his bones and muscles and tissue pinning him to the floor.

As a human, Danny faces sensory issues of too much. When all the things he's starving for suddenly make him sick. He feels trapped in his own skin. His ribs become a cage and breathing becomes a dumbbell that he can't put down. He can feel the hair along his arms and it rashes him. He's too cold, he's too hot. He feels like a ghost puppeteering its own corpse and he needs out.

On those days, Danny dips away when he can and goes ghost, and Sam and Tucker don't see him for the rest of the day. He's gone invisible, intangible, and he does nothing but exist.

Just, him experiencing sensory issues as both ghost and human, but in opposite directions from each other. And the idea that ghosts experience the mortal realm differently, and that there are certain things that are just exclusive sensations for the living that Danny doesn't realize until he's a halfa.