#like why would you plant that idea of the relationship being weird if you still intended to make it endgame

[cryiling]

I don't even need lokius to be canon but all I'm saying is that marvel cannot LITERALLY ADDRESS the selfcest and then expect us to put up with sylvie x loki ?? 😭 like it would be one thing if they just never brought it up but like. come on now. if you're gonna call out the selfcest then you had better be planning to get rid of it

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (10)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. depression, intoxication, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships,

notes. important announcement ! as you all know, this series has always had an extensive approach into detailing the events in its side stories (ie. sera x sukuna x naoya, yuuji x megumi, maki x yuuta x miwa, etc), but while writing the chapters, the word count and the plot building had become too exhausting for me to produce consistently, esp with the amount of scenes and side stories i was introducing to the story, so i've decided it's best for me to stick to the main characters, reader & gojo, and will only add side stories as necessary. this really hurts me knowing that i can't achieve the level of comprehensive writing and world building that i did for sincerely not, but i really want to finish sy as soon as possible and removing a chunk of side stories would be some of the things that'd help me achieve that 😭 i hope you guys understand. hopefully i'll figure out a way to write those side stories instead of completely abandoning them mid-way in this series. but as always, thanks for ur continued support <3

series masterlist -> episode eleven

“It’s a little weird.”

What was supposed to be her bed time had turned into a moment of reflection for Sera who, instead of being fast asleep at this time of the night, had unconsciously brought herself inside Sukuna’s home office to join the up-and-coming tech mogul in his late-night programming. 

She wore her silk pajamas, pacing back and forth in her boyfriend’s office as her mind flew back to the recent encounter she had with her ex-boyfriend. Who knew that Satoru’s kid would look just like a carbon copy of him? No, actually, the question should be: who knew it would be a different woman by his side acting as the mother of his child? Sera had to laugh at herself, shaking her head as she realized how truly and undeniably ridiculous her ex was. It was clear that day that he wasn’t really as loyal of a partner as he claimed himself to be. 

Did he really just go through all those crazy things with you, only to look like a whore-hopping fool now? 

If he was bound to end up with someone else other than you, then why did he have to make Sera’s life miserable in the first place? 

She may have done terrible things before as a selfish and materialistic lover of his, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Satoru also contributed to her role as the side-piece in his marital relationship. He allowed her to cling to him like a mistress. Being his side-piece wasn’t even something that she had forced upon him. It was his promise, an idea that he planted on Sera’s head, saying that she would need to stay by his side and that he would marry her guaranteed that he had already secured the merger and divorced you. He swore like a fool that he would divorce you. But guess what? The jerk ended up falling in love with his wife and suddenly had no use of Sera. Suddenly, he was such a good husband who couldn’t be more loyal. Suddenly, he was a lovestruck man who had always been in love with his childhood friend. If he had downright dumped Sera the moment his engagement was announced, if he had not been prideful and ambitious since the beginning of his marriage, he probably would have had better luck at having that healthy relationship he yearned from you. 

But how come the blame of being the third-party was all on Sera when her only mistake then was loving the person who promised her all the good things in life? 

Now, you see, this was all just bitterness brewing at the back of her head. She knew what she did was still wrong and that she wasn’t innocent. Sera swore to herself that she would never look back on those awful days ever again, but seeing how Satoru was running around freely with a different woman just reminded Sera of his days as a spiteful, two-timing man. Somehow, it felt like he had changed and yet didn’t at all. 

Ha ha ha. How ridiculous was that? 

“What’s funny?” asked Sukuna, her present boyfriend and thankfully so. He was Sera’s blessing, because she never would have thought that a man like him could still exist in a world full of Satoru’s and Naoya’s. “You look cute smiling to yourself, though.”

“I know,” she responded to the compliment, shifting to settle herself on his lap, though his attention remained fixed on his laptop screen. “It's just strange to me,” she continued, her voice thoughtful, “how Gojou appears his usual self, yet there's something off about him.”

The question clouded Sukuna’s eyes in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to comprehend her description. “You mean dude got uglier?”

I wish, Sera thought. “No, he’s… he’s different. The vibes are different. For a second, he even looked like he was dissociating the whole time he was with that girl,” she said, referring to Satoru’s new girl as though she was your cheap alternative, “But then again, why is he with her in the first place if he looks absent-minded the whole time, you know what I mean?” 

“Was he like that with you before?” 

“At times, but it’s not like the way he’s acting right now… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. The energy is off. That’s just not how he acts when he’s really, really into someone.”

To be honest, Sukuna didn’t give a damn about Satoru Gojou’s life and any normal boyfriend wouldn’t really like hearing their girlfriend talking about another man, especially her ex at that, but he knew Sera found joy in old money gossip and he was aware of the demoralizing past she has had by associating herself with them. Sukuna was acting all engaged in their conversation because he wanted to make her feel heard and that he shared her simple joys in life. Besides, it was through her that he learned so many inside scoops about the people that ran the country’s biggest conglomerates. It was like watching one heck of a messy episode of Dynasty. 

“Didn’t he get into a car accident?” he recalled, remembering the headlines on the news that day, “Then, we saw him at the expo and he couldn’t really remember you. The guy’s probably got his head all messed up.” 

Sera was bitter at the time thinking that Satoru was toying with her when he asked who she was, when the truth was, he was actually diagnosed with amnesia. It was such a shock to her, truthfully, because having amnesia felt like something you would only see on a movie’s screen. Well, in that case, she could also say karma’s a bitch. The director might be onto something here.

“He’s probably not mentally fine, but still…” she thought carefully and played the scene in her head again. What was it about the Gojou that she saw the other day that was different? “He just has a different vibe to him that it feels uncomfortable. It’s like he’s rude, but not so rude? He doesn’t have much of a personality anymore. Like a complete stranger.”

“Maybe it’s the new girl rubbing off on him.” Sukuna was back to typing on his laptop as he said that. Frankly, he was just saying anything at this point. 

Sera shook her head in response. “Well, I don’t know about that girl he’s seeing and I don’t really care, but it’s common knowledge to the filthy rich that she’s Y/N’s best friend. That’s why I recognized her right away, and that’s why it disgusted me,” she pressed on, “Tell me, would you—and be honest about this—would you fuck your best friend’s ex?” 

The humor on her boyfriend’s face came right as she asked that. “Babe, you fucked a married man. It’s worse than fucking somebody’s ex.” 

“Shut up.” Rolling her eyes, she got up from his lap and sighed, but Sukuna wasted no time in pulling her back onto his lap. His chuckle was mingling with the gentle kiss he had planted on her cheek, unaware that his actions made Sera’s heart flutter. “Forget it. I shouldn’t even be talking about Satoru with you.”

The man stretched his arms and finally closed his laptop, patting Sera’s thigh afterwards. “On that note, I do have another ‘dude from your past’ that I gotta meet tomorrow.” 

Her reaction alone was a response for him. “Naoya?” she protested, face contorting with disgust. “What for? I told you not to take on that project.”

“Yeah, I considered it, and you know, the partnership could really benefit CleaveTech,” Sukuna reasoned, leaning back as he outlined the situation to her from a business standpoint. Given her own background working for the Gojou Group before, he expected her to grasp the significance of this partnership and set aside any personal grievances or emotional attachments. “The Zen'in Group is a major client. It’s all pros and no cons here.”

“The contra is the guy you’re gonna work with,” she highlighted with a hint of annoyance rising from her throat, “Naoya is nothing but an opportunistic motherfucker. Mind you, he’s a stupid elitist, too.” 

He held back a laugh, not even threatened by a man who had a terrible history with his girlfriend. “Nah, I’ll deal with him. Just trust me on this.” 

As much as Sera wanted to object, she knew Sukuna had a point and that she really shouldn’t hinder his company from being partnered with such a large conglomerate. She just didn’t like the thought of her boyfriend being around a man who manipulated and humiliated her to the point where she had been blacklisted by multiple companies, leaving her to resort to being somewhat of a prostitute just to make ends meet. 

The world was harsh for the not-so-rich, and all Sera wanted was to give those upper class people a taste of their own medicine. But seeing as her desire for revenge would clash with her boyfriend’s chance at company growth, she had to set aside her personal grudge and support him on this one.  

Still, there was nothing wrong with being curious. “Is there any other reason you agreed to this partnership?”

Sukuna smirked as if he expected that question from her. “Blame it on my little brother, he’s been bugging me ‘bout it.”

“Yuuji?” Sera asked, clearly confused. 

To which her boyfriend quickly answered, “Yeah. He said it’ll give him an opportunity to work with his best friend. You know that kid, Fushiguro, right?” 

Ahh. Toji’s kid aka the heir to the Zen’in business empire. Sera had met Megumi before, and while that other brat Mai used to be unreasonably rude to her, the younger boy was always civil and respectful at least. He never even once treated Sera like dirt when she was spending time with Naoya at their mansion. Perhaps their upbringing really differed because he was raised by Toji and the other Zen’ins were raised by demons. 

Nevertheless, with a connection now established between Sukuna and Naoya through Yuuji and Megumi, Sera couldn’t help but feel that her peaceful days as a nouveau riche were about to become far more intriguing. Depending on the cards she would choose to play, they could even turn into a living nightmare. 

— —

You weren’t exactly abandoning your company; you were merely taking a break, a necessary pause given your current mental state after the whole break-up with Toji and the Osaka thing. Your mind was just too overwhelmingly occupied to even properly function. Each day, mustering the energy to show up at Hearte's head office became increasingly challenging, especially when faced with individuals who relied on you for major decisions and creative direction. 

To make matters worse, Akemi’s sudden resignation hit hard.

You received her decision by a simple letter, a mere piece of paper, without even having the guts and decency to meet with you in person. Was she scared? Or was this her way of rubbing salt on the wound, shoving it in your face that she was now taking things to the next level with your ex-husband? 

She did cite in her resignation letter that her reason for resigning from the role was due to conflict of interest. You wanted to laugh when you read that part. No, you wanted to choke in your fit of laughter after reading through her asinine reasons. She could have been upfront and mentioned that the so-called ‘conflict’ was the very man her best friend had previously married. 

Obviously, everyone in the office felt sad knowing that a core member of the company left without at least a 30-day notice, but they were all also aware that her resignation was due to personal albeit controversial reasons. Did Akemi not care about her image at all? The same colleagues she had trained, managed, and collaborated with would now likely gossip about her behind her back. She would become a hot topic of disrespect among the people that once heavily respected her. Did she also not care about the company you two created together anymore? This was the same company you two had passionately dreamed of during your late-night conversations on a New York rooftop. She was the one who wanted to build a fashion house together with you.

Yet, it seemed she was willing to throw it all away for a man already entangled in complicated familial dynamics. Her immediate resignation and refusal to speak to you in person just further confirmed it to you that Akemi was willing to forsake your friendship by choosing a man who already had a child with someone else. 

Since she chose that path, you couldn’t help but interpret Akemi’s actions as a deliberate slight against your friendship. It seemed clear that she no longer viewed you as a friend and was essentially cutting ties with you. Otherwise, why would she take such a step? Akemi wasn’t the type to be vindictive; she likely believed she was sparing you further pain by severing your connection. However, regardless of her intentions, her actions felt deeply disrespectful and hurtful.

If this was what she wanted, then kudos to her and her unbelievable confidence to choose a man like Satoru Gojou. Besides, it didn’t even take you a week to find another replacement. Your family connections were powerful after all. You readily had a pool of potential candidates for the role of the Head of Sales, Retail, and Merchandising—all from prestigious backgrounds and unparalleled expertise. While the competition was tough, you selected the person you deemed was the most qualified to be your second-in-command. This was someone you had esteemed since college, a person who excelled in both business acumen and creative vision.

Yuki Tsukumo. She was influential in every sense, and you trusted that she would be able to manage the high pressure environment of a start-up fashion house and transform it into an iconic brand, a household name that would one day rival Chanel and Miu Miu. 

You may have succeeded in replacing Akemi. You may have shown her that her position in the workforce was easily replaceable, but her role as your friend still left a lingering, repugnant mark that proved far more difficult to erase. This underlying sentiment could explain the unreasonable anger festering in your heart—a visceral reaction born from feelings of backstabbing betrayal. 

It was hard enough for you to travel all the way to Osaka with a broken heart, but it became much more agonizing to watch your own son run up to Akemi like she was his mother. It was a goddamn slap to your face, indeed, to see that your ex-husband had already chosen a woman to have his happy, little family with. That he wanted to be a good man and be everything you wished for in a husband for her. 

As they say, nothing hurts more than building a man for another woman. 

And honestly? You cried so much on the way home that you became numb. Now, you were just trying to get over it. You were trying to bury the searing pain in order to forget the betrayal you felt. It was all too much for a person to handle and it wasn’t like you hadn’t gone through the same old shit before. Wasn’t it worse before with Satoru actually cheating and all? He technically wasn’t crossing any lines here, so it shouldn’t hurt you. It shouldn’t. You had been here before. If you had managed to get through such an awful time as his previous wife, his relationship with Akemi shouldn’t be too hard to accept. No, you weren’t trying to lowball your pain, but it was better to be an optimist in this situation than be a suicidal, self-destructive person. You had a business to run and a child to raise. You had to be strong. 

Or at least, that was what you told yourself. That was what you had been telling yourself over and over, each time you got up from bed forcing yourself to have a false positive mindset. In fact, that was also why you had to take this extended break because you had to have your peace of mind. You had to have some form of release to remember why you needed to stay alive and keep yourself going.

Not just for Sachiro’s sake, but also for your own. 

Your safe haven for now was at the horse ranch, where the tranquility of riding and the beauty of nature provided the perfect ambiance for reflection. How long has it been since your last visit to Willow? Your father had been joking that you shouldn’t be leaving a beautiful, white Friesian horse unattended for years, especially not for the expensive price he paid her for. True enough, because the moment you saw the mare again, you almost forgot how majestic she was for her breed. Willow was a completely docile and graceful horse, so alike to you in many ways. However, one thing that was unlike you, was that she lived in peace, existing solely for herself and not for anyone else.

If only you could be like her. 

As you reached out to stroke your rare-breed horse, a new and unfamiliar stallion in the stable caught your eye. To think of it, your family shared this equestrian estate with the Gojou family. This realization meant that the strikingly elegant and tall gray horse in the adjacent stall belonged to none other than Satoru.

“It’s a Thoroughbred,” the equine caretaker informed while guiding your horse out of the stable, “Mr. Satoru got him recently and named him Six.” 

A gray Thoroughbred, renowned as the most expensive horse breeds out there. It could fetch a price as high as $70 million, and of course, Satoru was the perfect owner for such a prestigious horse. The stallion embodied his essence completely—its color, its build, its rarity. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but find his naming convention by number a bit odd. His previous black stallion was named Eight. This time around, it was Six. Couldn’t he be more imaginative?

“He’s beautiful,” you mumbled, nonetheless, in awe with the regality of the horse. 

“He’s a good boy, too,” added the enthusiastic horsekeeper in a thick country accent, “Mr. Satoru was here yesterday and played polo while riding him. They were perfectly in sync even if it was his first time riding him.”

Of course, he would play polo. That was one of his favorite recreational sports. The burning question at hand was, who was with him during his visit? Because if the caretaker mentioned Akemi, you would certainly lose it. This was your private space with him. This estate was a place that none of his other women had access to, not even Sera. This was a location filled with memories from your childhood. For him to bring another woman here would be crossing the damn line. 

“Did he bring anyone with him?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you dusted off your boots. 

The caretaker denied. “No, he was alone. He just came to play polo and check the horses he recently bought.” 

Oh… “He bought more than one?” 

Did he seriously get Akemi her own horse? Your heart was racing at the thought, but the caretaker led you to the stable near the exit to show you the other horse than your ex-husband had purchased. It was a brown Shetland pony. 

“He got a fully trained Shetland for your son,” the horsekeeper proudly declared, showcasing the pony as if he had been instructed to do so in anticipation of your visit. It was obvious that Gojou had already briefed him on introducing Sachiro’s new pony to you because he knew you would be asking about it. “His name is Elmo. He is kid-safe and very friendly.”

Frankly, you wanted to sigh in relief, but at the same time, it warmed your heart to know that Satoru got his son his own horse at such a young age. You could already sense him planning to make Sachiro take equestrian classes when he gets older, and probably join him on his horseback riding sessions, too. You could imagine just how perfect it would be to see the father and son bonding here, racing together, playing polo together… yet it would not be you who would be watching them on the side.  

This future he was setting up with his son would be an experience he would share with Akemi. 

There was no you in that vision anymore. 

The caretaker likely questioned your sanity when he noticed the bitter smile on your face as you mounted your mare. He might have even doubted whether you were sane enough to ride alone, without a guide, particularly through the woods since Willow had not been ridden for some time now. However, you had done it countless times before and were quite familiar with the trail, and so you dismissed his offer to lead you and assured him confidently that you knew your way back.

You needed this solitude. You craved this moment of peace, alone with your thoughts and surrounded by nature, to reflect on the ceaseless torture of your life. It was just never-ending, squeezing every drop of happiness out of your system to make sure that you would only live to suffer. You really thought you had your happy ending with someone else? You actually believed you had found the perfect man to be your actual husband? 

Well, unfortunately for you, Toji was not the one. 

At first, your mind flew to Toji as you went on to the trail, allowing the mare to continue trotting as you held the reins to control her. You remembered Toji’s text that morning, asking you for the hundredth time if he could meet with you. He likely wanted to apologize in person, but you doubted he would change his mind and take back the things he said. Because they were true. He could never fill the void left by his deceased wife by being with another empty soul. It was painfully, unmistakably true. You were better off dead if that was the case, because even if you did end up marrying him, you would never be regarded as the person he loved the most. After all, your role in this world seemed to always be the second option. You were never the first in other people’s books. Not with your ex-husband. Not even with your family, especially with Gen around. You were meant to be a bystander, watching others live their perfect lives while you were forced to be in your misery. Someone like Toji would not have a guaranteed blissful marriage with you and you had to spare him from that. You had to draw the line and step back from this charade that you were playing with him, knowing that you were never the right person to be with him, so at some point, you had to accept his drunken words. They came from a place of truth, and that truth would set the both of you free. 

Even it hurt. Even if it fucking hurt to hear his words. You couldn’t deny them. 

You could easily forgive him, but his words might take a while for you to forget because even thinking about it now was bringing a wave of pain into your chest. You didn’t even notice that you were losing control on Willow’s reins by the time you entered further into the woods, bouncing on the saddle as you galloped along the challenging path. With the speed you were riding right now, inexperienced riders would certainly find it unsafe and scary. But for you? It was just what you needed. The breeze of fresh air, the thrill of riding alone, the peaceful sound of nature—you could die there and be at your happiest. 

Maybe that was where you had to be; to disappear and leave them all behind. Wouldn’t that be best for everyone? If you were to vanish, they could finally be free. Your presence, even from the beginning, was a burden for everyone—for your dad, Gen, Satoru, Toji, and even Akemi. The people you trusted the most would be the same people who would secretly celebrate your demise. So, what else was hindering you from taking matters into your own hands and ending it all yourself?

“Giddy up!” 

Was it Sachiro? Definitely. But now he had his father, and he was likely starting to see Akemi as a mother figure as well. Your role as his beloved mama could be easily replaced if you were to leave him now. It wouldn’t hurt him as much that way. Three years with Sachiro seemed sufficient enough, and he was at an age where he could grow up alongside his father. In this short span, he would have lasting memories with you, yet not enough to deeply grieve your absence. He was a young child, surrounded by people who would offer the whole world to him. At least, for that, you were eternally grateful. It brought you comfort knowing that your son would have support after you were gone, and that he would find a mother figure in Akemi. Given the brief time he spent with you and the rest of his life with her as his stepmother, Sachiro would likely come to love and accept Akemi as his own mother. This was the best outcome you could hope for.

My child, my son, my baby… please don’t get mad at mommy. 

Tears were gushing out of your eyes and you hadn’t even realized it until they started blurring your vision. You were far too lost in your own thoughts, unaware that you were now in an unfamiliar and seemingly dangerous part of the trail. The path was getting a little bit too steep and poor Willow was clearly stressed at your inconsiderate handling. There were multiple obstacles on your rocky terrain and you weren’t as steady and controlled as you wanted to be because the horse wasn’t comfortable navigating such a difficult path with the pace you were forcing her to.  

“Ah!” 

Your attempt to balance was interrupted by Willow’s loud neigh, signaling her distress before she bolted into a full rampage. She was sprinting at an estimated speed of 20 miles per hour. Not even a skilled rider like Satoru himself would be cantering that fast on unfamiliar terrain and an unfit horse. But you, you clearly had a death wish, because instead of fearing for your own life, you were far more concerned at the thought of how dreamy Satoru and Akemi’s wedding would look like after your demise. They would definitely make Sachiro their ringbearer. Suguru would be the best man. Shoko, the maid of honor. People on the internet would praise them for being an attractive couple. They would anticipate their beautiful kids together, living in the same mansion he bought as a gift to you. He would kiss her good night, tell her loves her, and offer the whole world to her. They would exchange vows and promise themselves a lifelong commitment to be by each other’s side through sickness and in health, and only in death would they part. 

“Willow!” 

You let out a shriek as the reins slipped from your grasp, causing you to tumble off the saddle and crash onto the ground. The impact was first felt in your elbow, and a sharp, searing pain then radiated through your body. There you lay, sprawled on the dirt, helplessly watching Willow galloping out of control up the mountain, and then tragically plummeting off a cliff.

“Nooo! Willow, no!”

Utter hysteria overtook you. You sobbed uncontrollably, unable to determine which pain was more agonizing—the clearly broken elbow, the loss of the horse you had inadvertently led to its death, or the heart-wrenching reality of Satoru starting a family with someone else.

You were pathetic. You were such a pathetic excuse of a human being and this was why you deserve hell. 

“Willow!” 

Toji couldn’t love you. Your own son didn’t want to be around you. Satoru had gotten over you. And now, you drove a poor innocent horse to its demise because of your recklessness! 

You were crying hysterically as you held your pained elbow, crawling by the cliff’s edge as you screamed for your horse’s name, but in the end, there was nothing you could do. You could only apologize to poor Willow for having such an irresponsible owner, and now she was dead because of you. 16 years of her life, she was able to live in peace until you came and ruined it all for her. It should have been you. You were the one who should have jumped off a cliff. You should atone for your sins and follow her, but you were too weak, far to overcome by the excruciating pain on your hip and your broken elbow to move or do anything at all. 

That was, until your mind had completely shut down, leaving you as a mere body to be discarded alone in the darkness of the woods. You hoped that no one else would find you soon. 

— —

“A-Angina?” Satoru’s eyes went wide. His whole world stopped before him.

“Yes. She was diagnosed with stable angina,” Dr. Mori confirmed, much to your husband’s horror. “But there is another factor that requires her to have more rest. You need to take good care of your wife, Mr. Gojou. Her body needs a lot of nutrients so she can carry safely.”

He could barely process the whole thing in his head because the news kept coming one after another, leaving him in a befuddled state with a flood of unanswered questions running through his mind. “What do you mean…?”

“Your wife is seven weeks pregnant.”

…

…

“Y/N?”

“Y/N!”

“Are you out of your mind?!” 

You could barely pry your eyes open, but when you finally managed to, you were met with the concerned expression on Gen’s face. The harsh glare of fluorescent lights and the antiseptic scent confirmed to you that you were in the ER, likely an hour or two after the incident in the woods. The memory of the trail quickly flooded your thoughts, and a pang of sorrow gripped your heart as you recalled Willow's final moments before she fell off the cliff. The poor horse had lost her life, while the one responsible for her tragic death remained alive, save for the bandage wrapped around your arm.

“Why did you ride into the woods alone?” Gen persisted with her barrage of questions, standing by your bed as you attempted to sit up. “Are you suicidal or what? Riding your horse in a dangerous trail like that—”

“You know what, maybe I should have just died back there!” you snapped, wincing from the pain in your elbow. Her choice of words struck a nerve in you. “Maybe I’d prefer that over sitting here, listening to your sanctimonious lecture like you're so perfect yourself! How obnoxious.”

“Then, maybe you shouldn’t be riding so recklessly and causing alarm to everyone else!” 

“Did I literally ask you to come save me?!” 

The atmosphere around you two just became even more uninviting, with discomfiting silence seeping through as you and Gen were engaged in a sharp glaring contest. Your father stood behind her, clearing his throat to cut the tension. 

“That’s enough, Gen.” Your dad placed a hand on her shoulder, and although she wanted to protest, she knew better not to keep stirring the pot after receiving his strict gaze. “Let’s just be thankful your sister is safe. There’s no need to be so overwhelming.” 

You rolled your eyes, drawing in a deep breath before you looked away from them. None of them would ever understand your pain unless they were in your position. They didn’t carry the same baggage as you, so they would never fully comprehend the weight of your suffering. You had already dealt with similar pain on your own before and that was why you didn’t need any of them to come to your aid, meddling with your life like they knew exactly what you were going through. “Just leave me alone, you guys. I wanna rest.”

Since when did your relationship with your sister start to get rough? It wasn’t really like this before, but ever since she started to become too overprotective over you and your choices in life, particularly choices linked to Satoru, Gen had started to become insufferable in your eyes. She was acting too much like a mother; controlling your decisions, lecturing you about your personal relationships, being too involved with your private life. There, ever since that, you started to distance yourself from her, and she didn’t like that. Her stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to cease acting like this mature, picture perfect big sister to you. 

With that said, Gen would have normally gotten annoyed when you asked them to leave you alone, but this time around, she seemed to have reflected on her insensitivity a lot better with your father around. “I’m sorry, okay?” she said, her tone still tinged with stubbornness, “I just got worried. I don’t know what’s gotten into you to put yourself in danger like that, but… please, Y/N. If you’re going through something, you can always speak to us. Dad and I, we’re here for you.” 

To be fair, if you had to put yourself in their shoes, it really would have been alarming to know that your sister almost died. This wasn’t the first time you were at death’s door either, so they were probably scared shitless when they were informed of your situation. Your absolutely reckless situation. You didn’t mean to cause a scene, neither did you intend to bother them on their already busy schedules. You just had so many things in your mind while you were horseback riding, too engulfed by your own sorrow that you didn’t realize the repercussions after the incident had already taken place. 

“I’m sorry, too.” Your voice softened with humility. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys. It was just really an accident.” 

Of course, Gen suspected it was more than just an accident. Your dad did, too. It was obvious on their forlorn faces that they were worried for your mental and emotional well-being, but none of them dared address the elephant in the room. It seemed they didn’t need to, anyway, since one of the many reasons that contributed to your earlier breakdown took a peek from behind the curtains, clearing his throat and sending you a look of sympathy. 

“Y/N?” Toji looked at your father and your sister for approval before stepping further inside your space in the ER. “Can I talk to you?” 

There was no escaping Toji’s presence anymore. No more hiding, no more avoiding. You knew you had to have this talk with him no matter how many times you ignored his flood of texts and calls. While this may have struck as an opportune moment for him to speak to you in person, facing the painful truth of your situation weighed heavily on you. Besides, hadn’t the irony presented itself right there? If Satoru were the one trying to speak to you, even if he was the father of your child, Gen would have been quick to lash out at him. Yet with Toji, even with the general knowledge of what had transpired between you two, your sister still showed no hostility towards him, allowing him to approach you freely and without interference.

But then again, Toji was far from being a cheating, manipulative scumbag who not only caused you suffering but also sought to selfishly acquire your family’s company. Therefore, he wasn’t considered a threat. 

Alright, then. Since Toji genuinely wasn’t a threat to your current emotional state, you agreed to talk with him. It was the first time you had seen the not-so-confident side of Toji Zen’in. He was typically a man of virtue, often holding his chin high, offering the best advice, and having insightful perspectives on life. However, it seemed you had shattered that confidence in him. You could sense his cautiousness around you as he stood by your side in the ER, assisting you with your needs, and eventually agreeing to your request to walk you to the rooftop garden.

“I don’t really think there’s anything else we should talk about.” It was you who first broke the silence, staring at the cityscape while sitting on a wheelchair. The calm breeze allowed your mind to seize the moment with a peaceful mind. “I already heard what you had to say.” 

Toji found it better to kneel down in front of you to meet your eyes as he spoke to you in a sincere and earnest voice. “Y/N, I was drunk when I said all that shit back there. I didn’t mean them. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my callous words, and I feel awful that you had to hear them from me. You trusted me. You sought comfort from me. I wasn’t thinking like a normal person when those things came out of my mouth.” 

“That doesn’t mean they weren’t true,” you replied with quiet resignation. It was the acceptance in your face that seemed to have caused Toji’s heartbroken gaze. “It’s okay, Toji. I think, when you said all those things, it actually made me realize some aspects of our relationship that had to be addressed. It made me more self-aware and it opened my eyes on the bigger picture.” You touched his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as you mustered the courage to speak your next words. “It’s for the best that we part ways. It’s not fair to me to become a placeholder for your wife the same way it isn’t fair to you to have to deal with my ex-husband always being present in my life. Our unresolved feelings won’t really be resolved by being together.”

“Y/N…” Toji’s voice hinted at his vulnerable emotions, though he restrained himself from showing it fully. And you didn’t miss the apologetic look he had presented to you. “Despite all that, I hope you know that I’d been true to you. I do love you and will always love you. I’ll always be someone you can rely on, someone you can seek comfort from, someone you can turn to when you need help…” 

Damn it. Why did he have to make it sound like an actual break up? Now, it tugged at your heartstrings and hit you in a place it shouldn’t have. You weren’t good at these things and it certainly was your first time dealing with such a mature and mutual separation, but wasn’t that a good thing? No further drama was to happen, leaving a stark comparison to your separation with Satoru. While this one didn’t hurt as much, it still brought a hollow feeling in your chest. 

“Same for me,” you agreed, displaying a weak smile. “You’ll always have a spot in my heart, Toji. I’ll always be grateful that I met you.” 

Sometimes, two people didn’t need to be together to love each other. Friendships could still thrive between ex-lovers, and that was why closure was so important. It not only closed a certain chapter of your life in a healthy way, but also allowed you to heal and open yourselves to a new beginning without any bitterness left behind. 

It shouldn’t be considered bad to remain friends with an ex. It also shouldn’t be bad to give a parting kiss from said ex, right? 

You weren’t the one who initiated it, after all. It was Toji’s hand that gently stroked your cheek. It was him, who leaned forward and pressed his lips onto yours. It wasn’t forceful, but neither was it passionate. It was simply a tender kiss of goodbye, feeling the warmth of each other’s lips for one last time before you two would transition from being lovers to friends. What you didn’t understand from this supposedly bittersweet moment was the faint tears that somehow managed to escape your eyes, perhaps because you knew that once Toji left, you would be alone again. 

You had no one by your side to love you, cherish you, choose you, and offer their entire world for you. You were meant to live this cruel world all by yourself. 

As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Please learn to love yourself before anyone else, Y/N. It’s what you need and what you deserve.” 

That night, while you were getting your MRI, your mind kept flying to the possibilities of a future without having anyone by your side. Any normal person would tell you to focus on loving yourself first, as Toji did recently, focusing on what matters most, and ridding yourself of the toxic things that hinder you from moving forward with your life. Things weren’t as easy as they sounded. Besides, it was different being on the receiving end of the said advice. How could you do those things when the primary cause of your pain was someone whose life would always be linked to yours forever? 

Based on the result of your MRI scans, your doctor recommended that you undergo elbow arthroscopy. It was just a minimally invasive procedure compared to open surgeries, but considering how much of an overthinker your dad was when it came to your health, he insisted on your confinement at the hospital until you had been completely cleared of any other issues. He really placed a big deal on your condition and emphasized to the doctors that they make sure nothing was missed. It could have been worse; you could have had a broken hip or a fractured leg, but at least you only had a dislocated elbow. Nothing that couldn’t be easily corrected by surgery and physical therapy. 

The decision was for you to stay there for two days, and on your first night, a crying Sachiro ran inside your private room because his ‘mama has a boo boo’. Gen said he was picked up from daycare and dropped off at the hospital because the poor kid was looking for you. She didn’t mention who dropped your son off to you, but you could tell it was Satoru. You could sense it by the glances she exchanged with Ian after you asked how Sachiro came to the hospital. 

So, in that case, Satoru must have found out about your little incident and didn’t care enough to see you. Did he not even have an ounce of care anymore? Or was it Gen who stopped him from seeing you? 

“Did you ask him to leave?” you confronted Gen in a mellow voice, rubbing Sachiro’s back as he snuggled into you on the hospital bed. 

Your sister knew exactly which man you were referring to, and she denied having done such. “No, I didn’t even talk to him. He took Sachi here and left.” 

You didn’t know why you looked at Ian to confirm the truth of his wife’s words, but hurt yourself upon seeing his bowed head. It was an apologetic expression that did signify your ex-husband’s blatant act of ignoring you. To hear about your near-death experience and simply leave without even checking on you should be your wake-up call. He didn’t care anymore. No, why should he care? He had Akemi. His only responsibility with you was to be a supportive father to your son. 

Why did the pain in your heart feel far more agonizing than the discomfort on your dislocated elbow?

If anything, you wanted to ask for the strongest anesthetic they could offer to numb your pain. You were desperate to have anything even if they had to put you into an eternal sleep. That would have been much easier to deal with than feeling disregarded by a person you supposedly had moved on from. Satoru did nothing wrong here. It was you who had that expectation, only to disappoint yourself when things didn’t happen as you imagined. 

And just when you thought things would get better as long as you ignore your torturous thoughts, it didn’t help that being in the hospital kept giving you flashbacks of the time you were in this exact room, hearing Satoru crying helplessly from outside and begging for you not to terminate his child. What comes around certainly goes back around. Or worse. 

Such depressive thoughts had you occupied throughout your stay there, and your unusual placidness alarmed the nurses instead of being assured that you were doing well. You heard your doctors telling your father and sister to always keep a close eye on you as the incident may not seem serious, but the trauma would undoubtedly be present somewhere and somehow. Were they aware? Of your intrusive thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself? 

The elbow arthroscopy was successful and by the second day, you were free to go home. You were placed on certain medications to help with the swelling and the pain, and while you were walking around the hospital with a listless mind, you happened to pass by the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. What a deja vu it was, remembering the time you had seen Satoru there waiting outside for Sera. Back then, it was one of the climactic events in your life that led to a domino effect on the downfall of your marriage. Not that you were reminiscing, but it did remind you that Shoko was probably there in her consultation room and it would be nice to talk to a friend who had witnessed the wild history of your marriage. 

You asked Gen to wait for you in the car while you headed to Ieiri’s consultation room, assuring your visibly worried sister that everything was fine and that you wouldn’t take too long. You had to give Gen some slack, because despite the strains in your relationship as sisters, she was still always there for you. At the end of the day, she was family. 

Shoko, on the other hand, was the next closest thing you had for a sister. She welcomed you inside her room in a very worried embrace, telling you that if she had known about the incident, she would have gone straight to your hospital room on your first day, but you told her not to worry about it and understood that being in the medical field already had her schedule tight. 

“Well, I guess it’s perfect that you’re here, too.” Shoko smiled warmly, sitting behind her desk. She had exciting news to offer, it seemed. “I just wanna say that… of course, I’ll still be sending you a formal invitation and everything. I actually have a few gifts along with it.” 

You shared her enthusiasm. “Hmm… is it what I think it is?” 

The wedding. The most eventful day of her life would be arriving soon and you were the first one to hear it. 

“Yes!” she answered, with the utmost joy coruscating from her eyes. “I want you to be my maid-of-honor, Y/N. I’d be extremely happy if you could make it. I know you just got into an accident, but it won’t be until two months, so—”

“Hey, it’s okay.” You eased her worries by chuckling. “I’m completely fine, of course I’ll be there. I can’t miss it.” 

Shoko was grateful to hear your answer, relieved even, because by asking you to be her maid-of-honor, you should already understand who Suguru’s best man would be. That was a touchy subject for you and she was keenly aware of it, but you didn’t want her to worry. You didn’t want your relationship with your ex-husband to have a negative impact on the relationship of all the other people surrounding the both of you. It was already bad enough that Shoko and Suguru almost called off their engagement after they fought over their morals as you and Satoru’s friends, and you were glad that they somehow made things work. They somehow set aside their disagreements and ultimately chose their love over anything else. 

Their love was beautiful, and while that wasn’t something you could easily have, it was something you deeply admired. 

“Where are you guys planning to hold your wedding?” you asked, steering the conversation away from any mention of your ex-husband. “Here or overseas?” 

She delighted you with her answer, sounding as if this was the perfect wedding she had always dreamed of. “It’s an intimate wedding on the lakeside. Suguru chose the location, actually, since he wanted our wedding to have the view of Mount Fuji.” 

“That’s perfect,” you said with wide eyes. “Lake Kawaguchiko?” 

“Yep. That’s exactly where it’d be.” She smiled with her eyes. “You know this resort… Hoshinoya Fuji? We already booked the place, and we have a luxury cabin for friends and families to stay at.” 

You had been there before, but you were too young to remember. All you knew was that it was a high-end resort that had the best panoramic views of Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji. The hotel owner was also a close friend of the Gojou family, so that was probably why they were able to rent the entire place for the wedding, especially at a peak season for tourists. 

Since the fall season was arriving, you could only imagine the stunning views of the autumn foliage there. It offered the perfect weather, too. It wouldn’t be as hot as summer, nor as freezing as winter. Surely, it would be nice to do some nature walks and stargazing, maybe ride a boat or bathe in a hot spring. You looked forward to it, except for the fact that your ex-husband would also be there. 

And just what a perfect timing it was, because as Shoko sorted through her patients' medical records above her desk, a file slipped from the pile, revealing the name of your very friend, Akemi. 

“Oh,” Shoko murmured apologetically as she retrieved the record, not wanting to ruin the mood of your conversation. “She, uh, came by a few days ago... with Gojou.”

You didn’t need to ask. You didn’t need to hear any further detail. Akemi’s visit likely revolved around her desire to conceive, as she wouldn’t have visited Shoko otherwise. Why? If it were simply to monitor her polycystic ovary, why did she choose Shoko instead of her own gynecologist? Thinking of how your ex-husband and best friend were attempting to start a family together left your heart shattered in unimaginable pieces, stirring up painful memories of your pathetic marriage with Satoru and reopening old wounds you thought had already healed from. Wasn’t it ironic that a couple of years ago, you were crying over the same situation with Sera? 

You couldn’t stand this feeling anymore. You thought you had already freed yourself from the pain of loving him, yet here you were suffering from the same heartbreak over and over and over again. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, the ache in your chest too raw to confront just yet. 

“It’s funny.” Although you displayed an outward smile, the sadness in your voice reflected your otherwise inward thoughts. You didn’t know why you said that. You were just too… too emotional. Almost like you couldn’t breathe. “He was never this passionate with me. They seem so in love.” 

Ieiri’s eyes carried sisterly concern in them. “Y/N, it’s not really what you think.” 

Was it? You weren’t sure what to feel anymore. You certainly weren't there to hear it anymore, either. Satoru chose her, just like what you wanted for him to do. Just like what you asked him to do. He had moved on, he had found someone who would love him for who he was, he had chosen the woman he would share the rest of his future with. Call yourself ridiculous for even feeling hurt about it, because you had no right to be and you definitely chose this. Either you own up to it, or you cry about it for the rest of your life. 

Both choices had no happy endings. 

— —

When Satoru learned about your incident in the woods, he thought he was going to lose his mind. 

Was it out of love that he swiftly left the office in the middle of a meeting just to get to where you were? 

He still had to pick up Sachiro from daycare, and he felt bad telling his son on the way to the hospital that his mother was hurt. It actually gave Satoru a hard time explaining to the 3-year old that they had to go to the hospital because his mommy was there and that she had an unfortunate encounter while riding a horse. 

“Dada, is… is mama okay?” Sachiro pouted with wide, tearful eyes as he clung to his father’s hand. “Sachi wants to go to mama!” 

“She’ll be okay, Sachi.” Gojou carried his son and soothed him as they went inside the hospital, searching for you. “Mommy’s strong, remember?” 

Was it out of love that he wanted to be the person that brought your son to you when you most needed him? 

According to the nurse, your room was on the seventh floor, but when he got there, your room was empty. It was Ian who told him that you went up the rooftop garden to get some fresh air, insisting that if Satoru wanted to go and talk to you, that it was best to leave Sachiro with them. 

And so he did. He ran hastily, almost out of breath, until he reached the rooftop, scanning every face within the vicinity until his tired blue eyes finally landed on you. 

Satoru laughed in disbelief. He scoffed bitterly, with each breath full of disgust. The tips of his fingers felt cold, while his breathing grew thin and ragged. He could feel his stomach clenching at the humiliation of seeing you engaged in an intimate make-out session with Toji Zen’in. 

How sickeningly sweet. 

At that point, he was laughing at his own expense, ignoring the elderly lady who looked at him like he was a crazy person. He stood there frozen for a few minutes, watching you kiss another man before it finally woke him up from reality. 

It was out of love that he let you go. 

You see? This was where his attachment to you would lead him. It was pure and unreasonable selfishness, but he would gain nothing at all from even seeing you. He didn’t need to care for you at all, no. You had Toji. You seemed to be goddamn happy with your life with Toji. And what a romantic fucking moment that was, too. 

Satoru couldn’t think straight when he hurriedly left the hospital and got inside his car. He desperately wanted to forget the painful image of you locking lips with somebody else. How? How would he? Fuck! He was mad, mad at himself for choosing to come to your aid like he still had any role in your life. He was disgusted at himself for ignoring Akemi’s calls after promising her a movie date after work. He couldn’t believe he had her waiting all by herself in that cinema, waiting for him to come while he was stupidly running around the hospital to see his ex-wife. 

You chose Toji, then you better be happy. Satoru hoped you were happy, and that wish came from a place of genuineness. He genuinely hoped the best for you. Because for him, it was time to fully let go and stop himself from trying to be the superhero whenever you were in danger. You weren’t his wife anymore. 

So, was it out of love that he headed straight to Akemi’s apartment that night with a bouquet of red roses? 

She didn’t know what happened nor was she given the full detail as to why he unintentionally stood her up on their date night. He had just briefly explained that he had to drop Sachiro off to you at a hospital because you got into a small accident. Akemi, being your friend, got immediately worried upon hearing the situation and asked if Satoru was able to check on you. 

He said no. He said Toji was there. He said he left as soon as dropped Sachiro off. 

And in an effort to apologize for not paying attention to the current woman in his life, Satoru pulled Akemi in a tight embrace. He held her in her arms, drunk from the sweet and citrusy notes of her perfume, before pulling away to kiss her. He kissed her with the same passion as you did with Toji. Perhaps even more, even better. He completely devoured her lips, with a hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. The taste of her tongue was sweet like strawberries, while her lips were red like cherries. 

This woman was all he needed. 

But was this love? He didn’t know. It was too soon to tell, too early to answer, too hasty to even consider. 

— —

The current situation you were in reminded you of your younger self after your mother had died. It was the same before; you never left the house, often locking yourself in your room, shutting yourself off from the world, and drowning yourself with the pain and loneliness of losing somebody important. 

Sure, no one really died for you to be acting this way right now, but the feeling was still the same. Was this really a comeuppance to all of your wrongdoings before? But just how terrible were you of a person to be hit by this unbelievable truckload of sorrow? You might as well spur on the physical pains of your angina again if this torment continued. Otherwise, how else do you avoid it? 

You were being a terrible mother, too. You were too engrossed by your own misery that you couldn’t even properly take care of Sachiro. He didn’t deserve to have an incompetent and irresponsible mother like you. He deserves someone better, someone like Akemi, who not only has all the motherly traits a woman should have, but also the physical and mental capacity of being a true, strong woman. 

Sachiro was bound to have that, anyway. Now that his father was planning his lifelong journey with another woman, and now that he was trying to build a happy family with her, you were no longer needed in the picture. There was no need for you. 

How many more times would you tell that you have accepted it? 

Because, god be damned, you knew you couldn’t. You knew you were lying to yourself when you said everything was fine, lying to Satoru when you told him you didn’t need him in your life anymore, lying to Toji for telling him that you wanted to marry him, lying to Akemi that you didn’t care if she was seeing your ex-husband, and lying to Sachiro when you promised to him that you would never leave his side. You were a liar. A terrible liar. A pitiful, terrible liar. 

How would you tell the universe that you couldn’t take it anymore? That, for once, you wanted to be showered by happiness and all the good things in life? 

Sera was right. Not everyone could have it all. There were people of lesser fortune who weren’t blessed to live a lavish life like you, yet still work hard to achieve what they want. Why couldn't you achieve your own happiness without blaming it on the universe? If this was simply a lesson, then weren’t you the top student at this rate? 

God. God, help me. You really didn’t know how to deal with this life anymore. You weren’t sure how to proceed. You couldn’t rely on anything other than the bottle of alcohol on your hand—what was once full was now half empty after you took another swig. This was your second bottle already, wasn’t it? Or third? 

You got up from the floor and failed to walk in a straight line as you made your way towards the balcony. Your steps were unsteady, wavering like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze. With each attempt to move forward, your body swayed from side to side, struggling to maintain balance. You almost lost grip of the bottle you were holding. No, it did, in fact, slip from your hand and ended up crashing into the floor. Shards of glass lay across the ground, ready to pierce the soles of your feet to mirror the same physical pain your heart was experiencing. 

“Stop,” you muttered under your breath, begging for your chest to stop hurting. But it only worsened, and your antidote to that was to wash it down with even more liquor. No matter how expensive it was, you didn’t even like the taste of alcohol. You hated the sting on your throat whenever you drank it. You despised the bitterness it left on your tongue. However, it did great at numbing your emotions. 

It just felt wrong in many ways that you were seeing Satoru’s face whenever you closed your eyes. You could see his smile, his loving eyes, his beautiful lips. You missed his embrace, his kiss, his touch. You missed hearing his I love you’s. Him. You missed him. You yearned for him. Three goddamn years, and you were still undeniably in love with him. 

“Satoru…” you cried, sitting on the floor. Each breath made it harder and harder for you to catch as tears continued to stream down your face. You were tired of pretending, denying that you no longer had feelings for him when you knew deep down that you would always choose him. “S-Satoru… come back to me, please.”

Was it him coming inside your room? Or was it your vision making a fool out of you? 

“Baby, what are you doing?” Satoru’s expression was engulfed in immense worry as he knelt down and reached out to you, touching your cheek and looking at your eyes somberly. “Don’t do this yourself, Y/N.” 

Your head hung low, your gaze unfocused and glazed, as you fought to keep your eyes on the path ahead. You had to reach him. You wanted to touch him, hug him. And despite your best efforts, your movements were disjointed and erratic, betraying the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins.

“Y/N, that’s enough.” Gen had to use force just to be able to snatch the bottle away from you, forcing you to wake up to the reality where Satoru no longer existed to be there for you. It was her who came rushing inside your room in the middle of the night. The bottle of liquor was now spilled all over the floor. The same could be described with your emotions. “Get it together. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately!”

You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. You were in delirium after having dealt with all the terrible things the world had thrown at you. If you couldn’t drown yourself in alcohol, how else would you have been able to numb the pain? How else would you have been able to… forget? 

As much as your sister tried to hide the obvious sympathy in her voice, even your drunken mind could recognize it. “We all know you’re going down the depression lane again, but never to this extent.” Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, cradling you into her arms as a tear fell down her face. The Gen who would usually lecture you, was now holding you in her arms as her only baby sister. “Stop this, Y/N, please. Don’t ruin your life the second time. I-It’s hurting me. It’s hurting Dad. Do you… do you realize what Sachiro’s gonna think of you when he sees you like this?” 

“Gen…” Muffled sobs unwillingly came out of you, leaving you with such excruciating pain in the chest, so much so that it didn’t even feel like you had done surgery to fix your (quite literally) broken heart.  “I w-want him back,” you continued to cry, “I want my husband back. I want to be with h-him, Gen.” 

“Y/N.”

“Where’s S-Satoru…? D-Did he leave? Please take me to him—”

“Y/N, listen to me.” She gently cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at her pained eyes. “You’re intoxicated. He was never here, and he’d never come for you. You have to let it go.” 

“But—”

“He’s not good for you. He never will be.”

— —

It had been two weeks since Satoru last heard about you. Miwa was the one who updated him that you had already returned to your family’s mansion, letting him know that you were okay and that you were recovering well. Frankly, Satoru was starting to get annoyed at the fact that his secretary was still giving him updates about you. What did he care? He wasn’t your husband anymore. 

Besides, Toji was probably visiting you every day, so why did he have to worry about you? If there was anyone he should be worried about, it was Akemi. She had been experiencing terrible pelvic cramps lately, which needed to be given serious attention, but you would never see her being dramatic about it. The only thing she needed was for Gojou to accompany her visits to the OB-GYN, and even then, she never showered herself in self-pity. She carried herself like an independent woman, and that was exactly what Satoru needed in his life right now. 

He had a son to raise. He had a company to run. It wasn’t the perfect time to commit himself to someone lawfully. Heck, he didn’t even believe in marriage anymore. He realized that two people could still love each other without getting married. As long as Akemi didn’t pressure him about such things, he was fine with having her around. She didn’t ask for anything much, anyway. 

As for you, well… 

“What are you planning with that mansion you gifted Y/N?” asked Nanami, seated on the couch inside Satoru’s office, casually reading a newspaper. “Do you even remember that?” 

He certainly did. “What about it?” he questioned, idly toying with a pen on his desk. “It’s her property now. She can sell it if she wants.”

Better yet, you should let Sachiro inherit the property someday. His son was already set for a life of privilege having wealthy parents on both sides, but wouldn’t the mansion be a substantial addition to his assets in the future? Satoru couldn’t help but envision the kind of man his son would grow up into. He hoped Sachiro would not inherit his father's immaturity and pettiness but would embody the kindness and altruism of his mother. From a business perspective, however, Satoru planned to groom his son to be a leader, as he was the sole heir to the Gojou Group. Additionally, he would also inherit half of Creston and the entirety of Hearte. No wonder Sachiro was recently listed as the wealthiest kid by Forbes Japan. He even beat Megumi Zen’in from the list even though the teenager was the heir of the Zen’in business empire. 

These were the thoughts that should consume Satoru—the future, not the past. His kid, not you. And he was right about doing so, because when he came home to his penthouse, he was told that he had a visitor. 

A visitor on a Wednesday afternoon? 

Your brother-in-law, the esteemed prosecutor who sent his evil stepmother to jail, appeared on his front door, carrying Sachiro in his arms. It was hard to tell what type of emotions were visible on the man’s face, but he definitely didn’t bring any good news. 

“Ian?” Satoru promptly made way for the man to come in, ushering him into the penthouse and allowing him to set Sachiro down. The young boy was quick to dart off to his playroom, leaving the two men in an uncomfortable silence. “What’s going on? Weekends are usually my schedule with Sachi.” 

Ian cleared his throat, a hand on his pocket. “Do you mind looking after Sachiro for the time being?” 

By saying ‘for the time being’, it seemed like Ian wanted to actually say ‘until further notice.’ But that confused Satoru even more, because what was happening for the man to come here and ask him to let Sachiro stay beyond the agreed schedule with his father? He couldn’t read through Ian’s expression and it was making him uneasy. 

“I can, but… why so suddenly?” Gojou asked, glancing at his oblivious son. 

“It’s Y/N’s idea, Gen doesn’t know about it.” Ian released an awkward chuckle. “You know how my wife is.” 

Gen would absolutely hate it, Satoru was aware for sure. Though the questions lingered in his mind. “Why would Y/N want Sachi to stay with me? Where’s she?” 

Was it him or was Ian having a hard time explaining the situation? It felt like he was walking on eggshells, deciding between what had to be said and what shouldn’t. He was careful with his words when he spoke again, “Y/N flew to Monaco this morning and will be back when she’s ready. She says Sachiro should spend all of his time with you while she’s gone.” 

Monaco? Why would you be there?

Confusion bathed Satoru’s eyes. “Is it for a fashion event or something?” 

“No, she’s just…” Ian struggled heavily. “Well, to sum it up, she has to go there to sort some things out. It’s a personal thing, but she really needs this time for herself and we think it’s the best for her right now. I don’t know how long she’s gonna stay there or when she’ll be back, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here.”

No, he didn’t. Satoru found it difficult to fathom his ex-brother-in-law’s words, seeing as he had no general idea of what was truly going on. But if you were flying to Monaco, surely Toji wouldn’t allow you to go there all by yourself? 

Ahh. It made sense now. I see what’s happening here. 

Satoru’s lips curled into sarcasm. You would be vacationing with the love of your life. Is that what it was? Planning your halted wedding? Choosing wedding gowns? Looking for venues? There was no way you would be flying to Monaco alone, especially without Sachiro around when you two had been inseparable since his birth. 

“What kinda mother is she?” Satoru muttered in disgust, unaware that Ian had overheard him. But Ian had heard loud and clear. How could you leave your son behind like this? Couldn’t you face your ex-husband to discuss it, instead of just dropping Sachiro off as if he were some unwanted toy?

“Hold it right there,” Ian interjected, becoming defensive at the accusation. “You have no idea what she’s going through.”

How would he know? No one was telling him shit. No one was giving him details, so did they expect him to understand things and accept them as they were? Did they do the same thing to Satoru when he was at the verge of losing his sanity asking everyone for forgiveness over and over? 

“I've never taken sides between you two, Satoru, you know that,” Ian continued, trying to maintain a calm demeanor and speak with clear judgment, “But one thing I’m not gonna let you do is call Y/N a bad mother.”

Satoru’s chest tightened at Ian's words, a mixture of guilt and frustration bubbling up inside him. He knew he shouldn’t have spoken out of turn, but the pain and resentment were too raw to contain. It felt like you were abandoning him and your child, like you were off to a new chapter in your life again, and leaving everything behind. Perhaps this was his trauma from the New York thing crawling back at him, but it definitely reminded him of the day you had abandoned him. For three fucking years. How long would it take you to return now? 

Why do you keep doing this? He was sick of it. You kept running away instead of talking to him. He gets it, people change, circumstances change, but couldn’t you at least have the decency to talk to him about it? Was it wrong for him to wish you’d handled this differently? To wish that you’d talked to him, involved him in the decision-making process, instead of just making this unilateral decision and leaving him to pick up the pieces? 

Satoru took a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of Sachi,” he reassured, “I’ll take some time off work and have ‘Kemi help me out.” 

He looked back at Ian, his eyes pleading for further details, for answers, for some semblance of clarity in the midst of this emotional turmoil.

Yet none of it was given. 

And so, would it still be wrong to assume that he could now completely forget about you? That this opportunity to be with Sachiro would allow him a chance to share it with someone else? If you spent three years of your life playing house in New York with Toji, would it still be unfair for Satoru to do the same with Akemi? 

[iloveyanderes]

Even more sagau and/or yandere ideas!

(realizing now i'm straying from the yandere side but it’s still there so its fine)(also heads up I will be posting the whole collection onto my ao3 account hellomelon8

1.my personal favorite, it’s a sagau idea where arlecchino picks up a random child who ends up being the creator, nobody knows at first so arlecchino thinks she’s just picking up some random ass child she found in the woods. When brought to the house of the Hearth the houses luck suddenly increases tenfold, the enemies stop being hostile, actually becoming rather friendly and help them out a lot. So many rare plants and herbs appear around the house, sickness vanishes, it was all so weird. At the time arlecchino hadn’t though it had anything to do with the child as she brings so many children to the house, all with their weird quirks and actions, trouble and blessings. But then one day the child gives her a flower-which arlecchino secretly keeps because well all know the dad of year secretly cares about her children. after 1 week the flower does not wilt, not 2, not 3, not 4. It nevers wilts again, but yet again arlecchino brushes it off.

But then one day the child gets a papercut and a droplet of golden blood falls out. Then all of a suddenly arlecchino realizes; ‘holy shit, this is the creator’ and now has to protect her child from a bunch of weirdos who are obsessed with the creator in such freaky ways.

2. Platonic Yandere Papa Neuvillette with a baby dragon reader, finding baby dragon reader while they were still in there egg. As we all know Neuvillette spoils that baby rotten as he had actually found another member of his race. I’ve seen all those fanarts why dragon Neuvillette is hugging someone with his entire body and i’d imagine him doing that to baby dragon reader, also when a mama cat corners her kitten and holds the kitten down while giving them a bath is what i’d imagine him doing. Neuvillette would be fiercely overprotective, even more than he is with the melusines. I’d imagine baby dragon reader would be very annoyed by this, especially when they’re trying to sleep and neuvillette is just towering over them. Overall it’d probably be like the relationship of a baby cat and an adult cat who have a bond.

3. Yandere fontaine trio x female dazai reader, reader also grew up in the house of the hearth and ended up committing so many violent crimes at a young age due to the previous head’s influence. Then one day one of the reader’s friends die and she completely changes her attitude, instead trying to kill herself while commiting good deeds as some sort of atonement. Meets lyney, lynette, and freminet. They become yander and are constantly trying to stop the reader from killing herself. Imagine reader sulking from a failed attempt at suicide not noticing the three idiots who had just narrowly sabatoged there plans.

4.another sagau-ish idea except it involves twins and a classic manhwa plot(ashtarte cough cough). Where a prophecy comes that a pair of twins will be born, one with powers of light who’d lead teyvat to greatness and the other with the power of darkness who’d destroy teyvat. I’d also like to throw reincarnation into this, you get reincarnated as the twin people perceive as ‘evil’, treated awfully and thrown into the abyss in hopes the abyss will just kill you while your twin (someone who also is reincarnated-who treated you awfully in your past life and was a bully) lives in luxury as they’re worship as a ‘savior’ so naturally you team up with the abyss, use your powers of ‘darkness’, team up with snezhnya, kill your twin and then take down celestia along with all the other archons as some sort of revenge. Ah, the villain reader. classic

5. Travelers aunty reader anyone? Aunty reader who took care of lumine and aether after their parents died. After a while the twins insisted that they wanted to travel on their own so the reader let them(then they immediately got trapped in teyvat) 500 years in the future aunty reader is super worried and goes down to teyvat to find the traveler. Of course the traveler is nothing short of relieved when they finally finally find someone they trust. So basically platonic yandere traveler traps there aunty down in teyvat with them because they miss her so much and who knows? Maybe other people might become yandere?

[psuedosugu]

Hi! Is it cool if you write about reader trying to sneak out of the V tower at night to run away from yandere Vox? To add a twist, reader is also somehow immune to his hypnosis. Love the writing, girl! Keep it up!

thank youuu you guys are so nice, anyways reader being immune to hypnosis is such a good idea omg

cw: themes of manipulation and toxic relationships, physical violence (vox drags reader by their hair)

gender neutral

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

✮₊ ⊹ || vox hadn’t realized that you were immune to his hypnosis until far after he had fallen for you.

✮₊ ⊹ || he didn’t want to force you, he wanted the satisfaction of knowing you truly wanted him, to know that he had won you over fair and square.

✮₊ ⊹ || he did have it as a last resort though, if you ever started to reject or abandon him.

✮₊ ⊹ || see, vox is delusional as fuck. he has this romanticized view of you two’s relationship when in reality either you don’t like him nearly as much in the same way, or he’s coming on too fast and its ofputting.

✮₊ ⊹ || so if you were to break this mold of expectation, vox would obviously freak out and do anything to make you stay.

✮₊ ⊹ || vox also loves having control over everything, so once he realizes he doesn’t have control over you, he freaks out even more.

✮₊ ⊹ || he resorts to threats to try and get you to stay, some empty, some not.

✮₊ ⊹ || you can never tell though. hes a powerful overlord that has control over pretty much all electronics and im assuming all of the things that are in them (socials, private pictures, messages, ect.)

✮₊ ⊹ || if you have any type of media presence he could plant rumors about you

✮₊ ⊹ || he could find and spread leaked photos of you, he could go onto your socials/messages and send/post horrible things, and even more.

✮₊ ⊹ || despite this, you still attempt to run away from him. you weren’t exactly sure where, though. perhaps that weird hotel you had heard of, run by lucifer’s daughter.

✮₊ ⊹ || you didn’t know much about it, but you did know that vox wouldn’t check there and at this point you were desperate.

✮₊ ⊹ || so you packed your bags, left your electronics behind so he couldn’t spy on you, and set off.

✮₊ ⊹ || vox has eyes everywhere, though, so you hadn’t even left the tower before he had figured out your plan and caught you.

✮₊ ⊹ || he was absolutely livid to say the least, pulling you by the hair and scolding you.

“you ungrateful brat! i give you one inch of space and this is what you do? dont you get how much i’ve done for you?”

✮₊ ⊹ || you’re locked in your quarters until further notice. meanwhile, vox is freaking out. if he can’t hypnotize you then how will he ever make you want to stay?

✮₊ ⊹ || he goes back to love bombing you, giving you everything you could ever need.

✮₊ ⊹ || new clothes, of course! specific kind of food? coming right up. the latest tech? why didn’t you just ask earlier?

✮₊ ⊹ || its a weak method, but he’s trying his best! the least you can do is stay.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

i do requests!

check out my masterlist!

[sunrise-imagines]

Can I get some childhood friends to lovers hcs for Finn? Like the reader grew up with him and now they're dating as adults? Gender neutral or male reader also please :3

Of course!! I love this idea so much. Hope you enjoy!

TW: Light angst, lots of pining, hurt and comfort

Adult Finn x Reader Childhood Friends to Lovers

• Being the only two humans in Ooo, it was only a matter of time before you met each other at the ages of 12.

• Similarly to Finn, you had been found as a baby by a couple from the Candy Kingdom, and they raised you as their own with the help of Princess Bubblegum, her and Marceline becoming sort of older sister figures to you.

• One day, while visiting the castle, Ice King burst in from the wall in an another attempt to kidnap Princess Bubblegum, snow blowing everywhere as you looked up in fear.

• But then, out of nowhere, a boy with a bear hat and a magic dog burst in, beating the crap out of Ice King who fled back to his castle.

• When he turned to look at you, you both became shocked. Neither of you had any weird mutations or odd features, and he certainly wasn’t made of candy. He was human. You were the same.

• And from that day forward, you and Finn became inseparable friends, with you sometimes joining him and Jake on their many adventures.

• You watched as he grew up, fell in and out of love, found an entire island of other humans, met both his biological Mom and (deadbeat) Dad, lost his arm, and eventually prevented a war/world ending event. You sat with him as Fern lay dying, and went with him to plant the seed that would eventually sprout a new willow tree.

• Sometime after the end of Adventure Time, Finn and Huntress Wizard amicably broke up, deciding their relationship worked best as good friends/occasional work partners.

• Having developed a longtime crush on him, you had hoped that now was your chance, but your nervousness and not wanting to ruin your friendship got the better of you so you continued to admire him in secret.

• That was until Jake passed away, and Finn’s personality reverted back to when you were kids and the only thing that mattered was fighting monsters and adventuring.

• You grew concerned as he started to go on more and more dangerous missions, often times for no reason other than the thrill of it, and time after time he’d come back with even worse wounds. But you were always there to patch him up, no matter how bad it got.

• But today was different. After Simon had opened up to him and expressed his depression and how he felt out of place in this world now that he lost his magic, Finn had the bright idea that a life-threatening adventure was what he needed to cure his sadness.

• This of course went terrible for Simon, but Finn thought it was great, and when he came back afterwards with a giant slash on his back and told you about it, that was it.

• You went off on him, telling him that while you know he’s still grieving, almost getting himself killed all the time isn’t the answer. You were tired of seeing him get hurt, and in your righteous anger, you finally admitted that you were in love with him. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you softly admitted that you’d loved him since you were kids, and seeing him act like this after all of his past growth was hurting you.

• Finn’s eyes grew wide, he had no idea that you had felt that way about him. And even more, that you reciprocated the feelings he’d had since you were 18. But with everything going on, adventuring and eventually Jake’s death, he felt like he never had time to pursue a relationship you.

• So he pulls you into a hug, stroking your hair as you continue to cry into his shoulder. He apologizes for making you worry, saying that he didn’t know why he acted the way he did, he just needed a distraction from the pain of losing his brother. But in doing that, he had forgotten he still had you.

• He puts his hand on your chin, directing you to look at him. He smiles down at you, wiping away your tears with his thumb as he confesses that he felt the exact same way.

• Your tears change from ones of sadness to joy, and you feel the urge to kiss him. Luckily he has the same idea, and gently pulls you towards his lips and kisses you sweetly.

• Eventually you both pull away, and in that moment, everything feels like it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

• After you officially start dating, he stops going out on adventures as much, instead opting to spend more time with you and Jake’s kids.

• Of course, adventuring is still a part of him, but he focuses more on helping people than fighting and killing things, and of course he brings you along for the ride. Finally, after so many years waiting, the two of you are together.

[kissami]

HEAVEN AND BACK

sum. after a tough breakup, you find comfort in things you never thought you would do.

fem!reader with she/her pronouns

warnings: drug usage, very rushed, angry katsuki but the usual, y/n is a mess lol and kinda a crybaby srry I was pmsing when I wrote this…

inspo: heavily inspired by Heaven and back by chase Atlantic I love that song sm gn

not proof read sorry I’m lazy I’ll edit it later, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

She was always dealing with the devil

She was always into taking those chances, yeah

“Thank you, have a wonderful day.” You smiled at the customer as they grabbed their cigarettes and left the convenience store you worked at.

It was currently 7:47 PM, and all you wanted to do was be at home with your cat and sleep.

But it’s never sleep when it comes to you. It’s always work, study, work, work, repeat. Living alone was stressful, especially when you didn’t have a support system like you used to.

Your support system..your precious katsuki. Gosh how much you missed him. That night of your breakup was one of the worst things you had ever experienced.

It wasn’t like the time when you lost your pet turtle and it crawled into your father’s work boots, leading to its awful death.

It wasn’t like the time you lost the charm bracelet your best friend had gotten you for your birthday in 7th grade.

No, nothing could ever compare to the way you felt like your heart was yanked out of your chest and tossed aside like a rock.

“Being in a relationship with you is exhausting.” You remembered saying to him as he was ranting about god knows what. You didn’t remember why you two argued, or how you two got in that position.

“Are you fucking serious?” You finally realized what you had said, going up to him to apologize.

But all you remember is him scoffing with tears in his pretty ruby eyes and yanking his jacket off the coat rack, slamming the door harshly. That was the last time you seen him.

“Hi is your lane open?”

You looked up, seeing three girls who were dressed in tight dresses, fur coats with huge smiles on their faces. You caught a whiff of the familiar green plant many would find relief in and their bloodshot eyes as they looked at you in excitement.

“Yes of course. Is this all?” You scanned the bottles of Pedialyte, chuckling as the girls began to ramble.

“You’re really pretty to be working at a place like this?” One girl with brown hair and pink highlights said, holding onto her phone.

“Oh uh thanks?” You blinked at her, looking back down as you scanned the Tylenol.


“We’re going to a party later, you should definitely come! When does your shift end?” You sighed, looking at the clock. These girls didn’t even know you and they wanted to party with you?

“It ends now, but look I don’t really go out at all though so-“

“Even more reason to come! Come on! It’ll be fun!” The shorter girl with curls said as she shoved her pixie stick in her mouth.

“I don’t even know your names.” You tried to explain, shaking your head in disagreement to this idea of theirs.

“I’m Yei, this is Lumi and Honey. We already know your name,” Yei the girl with blue hair pointed to your name tag giggling. “So there’s no other excuse. Please come with us.”

“I think that’s an amazing idea.” You felt a soft shove, looking over to see your coworker Ley looking down at you smiling.

“But I-“

“Go, Y/N. You’ve been working too hard and I know Layla asked for you to cover her shift for tonight but I refuse. As your boss and your friend, go have fun.” You sighed, nodding as you handed Ley your work apron.

Some would say it was pretty weird to have a boss who treated you this way, but you’ve know Ley since middle school. He was basically one of the reasons you still had a job here.

“I don’t even have anything to wear though.” You walked next to the girls as they dragged you along.

Said she met a couple other women

Who were into going late night dancing, yeah

You side glanced at the numerous people that were dancing along with the loud music, smoke overtaking the air as you clenched onto one of the girls’ hand, following them as they led you in further into the party.

You sighed a deep breath, feeling anxious as you watched everyone pushing and grinding on one another.

Gosh you wished you could call Katsuki to be here. Or even to just take you home.

“Hey, have a drink you look stressed.” Lumi laughed as she passes you a red cup. You gulped, smiling as you clenched it in your palm.

“Hey leave her alone, she said she’s not one to party so maybe she’s just not used to this environment.” Honey gave you a side hug and rubbed your shoulders in comfort.

‘I want to go home.’ You thought as you started to sip on the drink, making a small face at the sweetness of the alcoholic beverage, but still not putting it down.

“Mina said she was coming over with her friends.” You tensed up as you heard your old friend’s name from Yei who put her phone back in her small clutch, going back to downing the small shot glasses that were scattered around the counter.

“Mina as in-“ before you could finish, you felt warm soft arms grab your hands, squealing in your ear as you turned around to see the familiar pink girl looking at you in excitement.

“Y/N what are you doing here?!?” She asked, grabbing her hands tightly again smiling widely.

“Oh I was just-“ you looked up for a second and took a double take as you saw him.

Katsuki, standing in all his glory. His large arms in full display in that black wife beater tank, the chain that hung on the side of his loose jeans and your favorite gold chain that laid so gorgeously on his neck. You saw that he got an eyebrow piercing along with two more ear piercings and with pretty gold rings that hugged his fingers perfectly.

The fingers that were wrapped around a girl’s waist tightly.

Your breath hitched as you watched the way he smiled smugishly into the heated kiss with the girl who looked like an angel.

She was the complete opposite of you. So perfect.

You stared back at Mina with wide eyes, making her frown as she slightly turned around to see what you were looking at.

Her deep sigh of disappointment was all you needed to know.

You pulled away from Mina, walking to the bathroom as a loud sigh escaped out of your chest.

“Stupid stupid stupid.” You kept repeating to yourself as you started to put cold water on your face to cool down.

A loud knock interrupted your mini crisis. “Hey we need the bathroom!” A girl yelled, twisting the doorknob annoyingly.

“Sorry.” You whispered as you walked out, seeing two girls drag in a boy with blond hair with a lightening streak who was smiling dumbly. You now realized it was Denki who was dragged into the bathroom.

Good for him. You thought with a small smile. You began to make your way out, only to be caught by the wrist.

Looking back, you saw the face you were dreading to see now.

“Let me go, Katsuki.” You spoke sternly, yanking your arm away. You saw a small glance of hurt in his eyes that was quickly overtaken by the look of anger.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked, looking over your shoulder and back at you.

“Who are you with?” You rubbed your face in annoyance and frustration. “That’s none of your business.” You heard a small huff from him, seeing the way he licked his lips in irritation.

A habit you used to love because he looked so good doing it.

“It is my business when you-“ you felt another pair of hands grab your shoulder, being shoved back into a rough chest.

“Is this guy bothering you?” You looked up, feeling your breath hitch at the gorgeous man that stood before you.

He had a tight compressed black shirt with gray sweatpants. Pretty green eyes and raven black hair as he looked at Katsuki.

“Uh what?” You asked to yourself, looking back and forth as you soon realized you were in a muscle sandwich.

“Who the fuck are you?!” Katsuki barked, feeling a vein pop out of his forehead.

“Katsuki.” You spoke softly, looking up at him as he laughed softly.

“Whatever, Y/N. Do whatever the fuck you want. I’m sick of worrying about you and your stupid decisions.” He brushed you off, walking back to the girl from earlier as he grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the party.

You felt your heart hurt a bit, gulping at the way he tenderly talked to her as they left, without a second glance.

“What a crappy ex huh?” The guy joked softly, looking back down at you.

“You seem like you need something to get your mind off things.”

Then she fell in love with a pill, that could take away all her pain, yeah

“What is this?” You twirled the pastel rainbow pills in the small shot glass, looking up at the guy whos name was Kyle, in curiosity.

“I like to call them my happy pills. Come on, try it. Let it course through your veins as all your worries leave you.” He sat back in the raggedy couch that was in the basement as he smoked a joint.

You scratched your neck, feeling a bit tense and bothered as you saw the gray sweatpants that hugged his waist as he man-spread.

“I’m not gonna die, right?” You never did anything like this before, and you had no idea why you were even trusting this man with anything he was giving you.

But you were a whore for a man in a tight black shirt that showed all his good..qualities.

Then she fell in love with a whole new drug

That could fill her veins

And then

An hour later, you were laughing hysterically as you drank, looking around the room.

You felt like you were floating, never had you felt so alive before. This was a new sense of happiness you haven’t felt in all your years.

You started to feel addicted to this feeling.

She's high

She lives in the sky

Tonight, she's satisfied

Rolling back her eyes

You put your hand up, turning it as you inspected it in curiosity. Giving a side glance, you saw Kyle talking to his group of friends, smiling over to you.

You fell on the couch face first, groaning as you felt your vision start to blur.

“What?” You asked, seeing blobs looking down at you, shaking for you to stay awake.

“I’m having fun, leave me alone.” You giggle, pushing one of the face’s away, humming a song softly.

“Katsuki, please take her home.” Honey was looking down at you in worry, wiping your sweat off your forehead as she spoke in the phone.

There were incoherent voices in the background that you happily blocked as you sipped on another drink that was passed down to you.

“Get up.” After a good fifteen minutes of pure bliss when honey hung up the phone, you looked up confused to see him staring down at you completely pissed.

You looked around as Lumi helped you stand, seeing the girl who Katsuki was with looking at him annoyed but she was now sitting on Kyle’s lap drinking.

“Huh?” You asked, pushing his face aside when he tried to help you walk.

You limply looked up at him, seeing him even more mad than before had you sober up a tiny bit.

But then she starts to cry

Everything is turning to black

He lead you outside to his car, his keys jingling around while he helped you to sit inside.

You nuzzled up to the familiar texture of his seats that you used to sit in countless times before.

It was silent the whole ride and you began to cry.

Not just a normal sniffle cry. But a gut wrenching wail, the endless tears falling down your cheeks.

“Don’t be mad at me. Please I’m sorry.” You said clearly extremely intoxicated, watching him clench the steering wheel.

“I’m not mad!” He yelled, making you tense up and cry again.

“I-I’m not mad at you…okay? Whatever happened before….i forgave you for it. I’m mad at myself because I fucking left you!” You could hear the way his voice sounded so distraught and upset that it made you scotch closer to the car door a bit more.

“And what the fuck did you take?! How fucking stupid are you to do something like this? Did you even know that fucking guy?? You’re fucking smarter than this, Y/N what were you thinking??”

You felt your cheeks burn from the alcohol, the embarrassment, and the frustration.

“I wasn’t okay? I wasn’t thinking.”

“Fucking clearly. What the fuck happened to you?” You sat up, looking at him completely heartbroken as he spoke those words to you.

“It’s you! It’s all you!” You cried out. Katsuki looked at you, extremely pissed now as he slammed the car breaks which made the car shriek.

“Oh so it’s my fault now?!” Katsuki now turned his whole body to you, pushing the driver seat back so he was more comfortable as he faced you.

You scoffed, trying to open the car door only for him to reach over and slam it shut, along with putting the child locks on.

“You’re not fucking leaving. We’re going to talk. What the hell is going on?”

You looked at him as your head limply fell back, lightly hitting the seat as tears streamed your face.

“I was doing fine. Then these girls picked me up after my shift and then I went to that stupid party! Then I see you there, making out with the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. I was so upset i ran to the bathroom but then denki and some girls came in so then I left only to bump into you! After that you started being a fucking asshole which made that dude come over! The-then he gave me these pills. They made me feel fucking incredible!!”

Katsuki’s mouth opened like a fish out of water, his eyes wide as you rambled.

“So there! That’s what’s wrong with me!” Reaching over his lap, you unlocked the car and got out.

As soon as you did, the cool fresh air hit you instantly, making you hunch over as you started to throw up everything in your system.

You heaved, throwing up even more as you clenched onto the tree that was on the side of the road.

You heard the door slam and a comforting rub on your back the more you threw up.

“It’s okay. Let it out.” You turned around, feeling your legs get wobbly as you pushed his hands off.

“You said you could care less about me so leave me alone.” You spoke drunkenly, only for your head to roll back and everything going black for you.

Katsuki sighed as you plopped on the dried orange leaves that luckily saved your fall.

All in one night

She just went to heaven and back

You slowly opened your eyes, seeing that you were in the back of his car, laying across the seats with his jacket that used to be your favorite to steal.

You watched him skip through songs, groaning at the annoying stations that played.

“Who was she?” You almost laughed at the way he jumped, turning to see you sitting up now.

“Jesus fuck, you scared the hell out of me.” you could practically hear the way his heart was racing and ponding from the tight grip he had on the steering wheel.

“Answer my question.” Katsuki stayed silent.

“Just…a girl I started talking to.” Humming in response, you leaned your head against the car window.

“That’s why I did it. As pathetic as it sounds, I took those pills to forget about tonight. To get that imagine of you kissing her so lovingly out of my fucking head.” You didn’t realize just how much you started to cry, only seeing your tears landing on your hands that were laying on your lap.

“Y/N-“

“It’s my fault though. I was so stressed with school and making sure I had enough money for the week that I was so mean to you when you tried to talk to me that night. I’m sorry I said you were exhausting. I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty girlfriend to you, I’m sorry for everything.”

Silence.

You wanted to bury yourself in embarrassment at the way you had rambled your apology, overthinking that maybe he didn’t give a shit about you or your relationship anymore.

“I can see you having a fight with yourself, stop it.” Katsuki gave you a deep sigh, thinking for a bit before he gave himself a small nod.

“Don’t…apologize. I was being an asshole too and pushing your limits when you were saying you weren’t in the mood to speak. I should’ve given you your space. I’m sorry I fucking kissed that girl.”

Before you could respond, he parked the car and you finally realized where you were at now. You were parked right outside his apartment.

The door opened and Katsuki sat next to you.

“Look at me,” he grabbed your hand. “I’m sorry. We both were…really shitty with each other and I’m sorry. I want…to work things out. Maybe it isn’t our time yet, but I just want you.” Katsuki looked down at you, wiping your cheeks.

“I love you. So much. But I can’t…not right now. Not when I have so much regret and resentment with myself for letting this shit happen to you.”

You hum, looking down at your hands as you were thinking of what to say.

“It’s crazy how much shit can happen in one night huh…but can I ask a favor from you?” He looked at you, waiting for you to continue.

“Can we stay like this? Just for tonight like old times? Before I lose you again?”

[edibleashell]

TUA S4 feels

Pretty sure that Umbrella Academy S4 finale left a permanent scar on my psyche. Still one of my favorite shows but I might just end after season 3 in future rewatches. So many issues with S4.

In like episode 1 we got Ben and Jennifer touching and that started a countdown to the end of the world and the whole season was just junk to fill that time. So many good ideas that weren't done properly at all. Shuffling their powers? Alternate timelines? Hargreaves owning pretty much everything? Abigail just being alive? Pointless.

Luther was just a repeating loop of stripper and home decorating jokes.

Diego should have been a martial arts instructor or something not a depressed delivery guy. A bunch of jokes about him getting out of shape only to reveal that he's still jacked. He throws a potted plant and misses. His arc is just Big Sad for no reason and the relationships he built in the first three seasons were apparently irrelevant, if anyone would have been taking care of Safety Klaus it would have been him.

Allison's character was just an accessory to Klaus, after three seasons of her trying to reclaim the family she lost she ended up spending more time as a tool to Klaus's arc than she did with Claire. And Ray just being casually written out was so disrespectful.

Klaus, oh poor Klaus, my favorite character, what did they do to you? He should have been a nurse or something but instead he was paranoid, then pissed off because the writers decided that Klaus would equate marigold with drugs and just fall right off the wagon? And then he goes to some sketchy guy he owes money to even though S1 Klaus is shown just buying drugs from random people? All to justify his prisoner plot, none of which had any real impact. And he can fly for a second for some reason. Okay.

Five working for the CIA was bad. He should have been the retired fun uncle to Claire and Grace. After spending fifty years trying to get back to his family why did he keep leaving them? Why did he hook up with his brother's wife after only six years? And am I supposed to believe that in every timeline he has the same haircut? That none of the other Fives lost their arm? How did he never notice his boss's blatant umbrella tattoo? He just casually strolls through "his" apocalypse as though he doesn't have ptsd, and why were he and Lila living off sewer rats when they had infinite timelines to scavenge?

I was so excited to see Ben witg the family but one episode in he becomes a bomb and fucks off with a girl who can hardly be called a character.

Viktor was the only character I thought got some form of authenticity and justified growth, his arc kind of seemed like a ripoff of S3 Klaus though. And we missed out on what could have been a really beautiful scene of him drawing the upside down umbrella on his arm.

Lila went from "I don't want to be like my mom" to a motherhood cliche. And what was the deal with her family? She just found her parents and they immediately accepted her or something? Was there another Lila in this universe? That made no sense. If anyone would have joined the CIA it would have been her. Her and Diego should have been weird parents teaching their kids how to fight and kill but instead they got some domestic life that those characters never belonged in.

And there's so much more! Abigail is alive? Hardly relevant. Why did she body snatched Gene, it didn't really seem to change anything. The Keepers existed only to be a minor obstacle in the last episode. And are her and Reggie aliens? Why? How? What's the point?

AND DURANGO? THAT'S A CAR! Harland named marigold and for a farm kid that makes sense (though the retconned acceptance of that word into Umbrella vocabulary was irksome) But Durango? Abigail is a scientist and she names The Bad Dust after an SUV? Why?

AND WHY WAS THERE ZERO QUEERNESS? Each of the first three seasons had some sort of queer arc but not this one. I still wonder if some higher-up didn't intentionally assassinate the show as backlash for the immense respect S3 gave Elliot Page.

One last thing, music is a big part of the show, they've always put such thought and care into the soundtrack and it makes sense knowing who the creators are, so why, of all songs, was Baby Damn Shark the first song to be featured in like three episodes? It seems intentionally disrespectful.

I'm done, rant over, I'll never recover from this.

[waywardwritesstuff]

Hello, could you create a headcanon for ROTTMNT where Leo and Donnie, separately, fall in love with a female reader who can transform into a giant white snake?

Donnie and Leo x F!Reader Head canons

Tags: romantic, female reader, feelings, confessions Word Count: 900+

Summary: Donnie/Leo fell in love with reader. They didn't plan on it happening but guess what? It did. But how did they act? How did this all go about?

Leonardo

Leo at first was very embarrassed about it, he had known you just as long as he had known April, and you were very important to him. Not to mention the two of you were quite close compared to his brothers.

But despite his feelings, he wasn't a coward, and he wasn't afraid, so he decided to take you out to a sewer pipe he had found perfect for skateboarding and decided to tell you there.

As the two of you were skating around, you in your human form so you could have two legs to stand on the board in the first place, you noticed Leo started to act strange.

"So...you have a boyfriend?" he says out of no where

A bit confused but seeing nothing wrong with his question you answer

"No. Why? Are you interested haha?" You decide to say cheekily, but if you were being honest, you had a small crush on Leo but figured that it was only one-sided, so you never said anything, but that didn't stop you from making "jokes" about it.

"Maybe, what would you say if it did" Leo responded

You are a little unsure now, you are not used to Leo giving a response that wasn't a joke.

"Leo what are you doing" you stop skating now and turn to look at him fully

"What? I'm not doing anything?"

"Your being weird and you know it"

"Can't I ask my friend about their dating life?"

"You can't, not so seriously at least. What is going on"

He hesitates and his green skin starts to darken on his cheeks. Is he blushing? You didn't even know turtles could blush

"Maybe for once I'm not joking, Y/N I have feelings for you" And there it is, he said it. Finally putting his feelings out into the open.

"Leo that's not funny" you say getting a little bit frustraed. This isn't a funny joke and you don't want him messing around with your feelings. Is he doing this because he knows how you feel about him or is he doing it because he genuinely feels the same

"I promise you for once this is not a joke"

"You're being serious"

"I swear on Hueso's Pepperoni Pizza"

Oh shit, he's being serious

"Well, I feel the same. How come it took you so long to tell me?"

"How come it you so long to tell me"

"Touche" You concede

"So are we going to make this official or are we just gonna sit here with these confessions" He asks

With the adrenaline that is now rushing through your body, you step forward and wrap him in a tight hug, giving him a small kiss on his plastron as he wraps his arms around you and plants his own kiss on your forehead.

Donatello

Donnie didn't understand his feelings at first. He ignored the feeling in his stomach whenever the two of you talked, blamed it on bad pizza. He just went about his day like normal and tried not to think about how you made him feel.

But he couldn't deny how important you were to him. He liked listening to you talk, though sometimes he thought you might be a little bit silly he still found whatever you spoke about interesting, simply because you were the one talking. And he cherished the moments when you would sit and listen to him ramble on and on. He knew people got bored of his ranting easily, but you never seemed to lose interest. It was comforting.

Eventually, he figured out what his feelings were and he had no idea what to do about it. He had never had romantic feelings before and he had never been in a relationship. What was he supposed to do?

One day when the two of you were just chatting with him in his room/lab he went quite, which was highly unusual for him. Even when you were talking he was either working on something or simply muttering along to your train of thought.

"Y/N, have you ever fallen in love with anyone?" he asks bluntly

You look at him quizzically waiting for him to go on

"You know...like those feelings when you like someone a lot more than a friend" he explains

"Yes I know what 'falling in love' is, but why do you ask?"

"Well I think that I might have fallen in love with someone, but I do not know what I am supposed to do with those feelings"

"You could tell them how you feel" I say simply

Donnie has a blank look on his face like this was the most insane answer I could have given.

"Ok, well I love you"

You blink once, twice. Before what he says sinks in

"Wait, me? I am the person you fell in love with? But...I'm a mutant" you say hesitantly, why would Donnie fall in love with a mutant snake such as yourself, even other mutants found you frightening.

"So? So am I? What difference does it make?"

You stop "It doesn't but...you really feel that way about me"

"Yes" he says but their is a hesitant note to his voice "Do you not share these feelings"

You were taken aback, you thought after all this time your feelings would have been more obvious to Donnie but apparently not

"Yes of course! I just never said anything because I thought you only saw me as a friend"

"Well I did-" he says truthfully "-but something changed"

Feeling so overcome with emotions you slither up to Donnie and wrap your arms around him before remember how he feels about hugs. But before you can pull away fully he wraps his own arms around you in return.

You couldn't have been more happy in this moment. And you hope to share more moments like this with Donnie in the future.

[negasonicimagines]

Allergies

SYNOPSIS: After you and Ellie take down a plant monster, you quickly find out why it was being so aggressive in the first place. OR An overdue sex pollen fic.

Warnings/Notes: Smut, Sex Pollen, Minor Breeding Kink, Telepathic Reader, Oral, Strap-On (R!Receiving Both) / This is actually pretty old. It didn't feel finished, so I held onto it for a while. After polishing it a little I think it's as done as it's gonna get.

You and Negasonic are both exhausted after that last mission. 

“I have no idea why that creature was so hostile, or what it was even doing in the city. Those things usually stick to their dens in the forests, especially around this time of year,” she comments. For someone who tries so hard to look like a delinquent, she actually paid a lot of attention when she was in school, enough to have an internship at Stark Industries and a few scholarships under her belt. 

Graduated students are still permitted to live at Xavier’s, and they even get upgraded rooms; however, they still have to share. At least you two don’t have to deal with immature freshmen in the communal showers anymore. That’s enough to keep you as roommates, despite your differences. 

“I’m just glad it’s over with,” you say, punctuating your sentence with a sneeze. You haven’t stopped doing that since the end of the fight, when the plant-like beast was eventually herded back to its den with some minor injuries. Your mind control wasn’t as useful as anticipated, but due to the need for physical touch to even try, you got plenty of the pollen in your system, more so than your teammates, though they were also given a decent dusting. “We should shower.” 

“You first,” Ellie replies. You head to the restroom. 

Once the water starts running, you think about her. You two have lived together for about half a year now, and you still have no idea how she feels about you. 

You two will watch a few episodes of a TV show you both like, share the same opinions of the relationships and plot points, and it really seems like you could be friends, but then later, sometimes within hours, she’s right back to her snarky remarks and cold-shouldering, like it never happened. You’ll accompany each other to the gym, or dinner, and get along just fine, even if it’s just scrolling through your phones and showing each other Tiktoks and other memes. But then, again, coldness. You don’t know what you’ve done wrong, and you’re one more of her little comments away from just grabbing her and learning everything there is to know about her maze of a mind. 

No, not really. That would be wrong, violating. You’re just frustrated, you know that. You want to be her friend, maybe even more than her friend, but she just won’t let you in! 

You finish up your shower, and return to your room, cozying up on your bed. Ellie’s already pulled up Dexter on the TV so that you can resume where you left off in your rewatch in anticipation for the new season.

Her shower is speedier than yours. Her hair is so cute, even when it’s wet. Maybe you should ask her what hairdresser she goes to. 

She glances at you, seeing that you’re comfortable before pressing play. 

“Y’know, Lila reminds me of Mandy Milkovich,” you comment. 

Ellie looks at you like you’ve just announced your plans to glitterbomb Wolverine.

“What? I thought I was allowed to talk if we’ve both seen the episode or movie before,” you say. 

“No, no, you are, but that’s actually… That’s an interesting connection to make,” Ellie explains. “You’re right.” 

“Thanks?”

“Yeah.”

You watch the rest of the episode in a silence that’s actually kind of odd for you two. As the silence grows, so does a weird tension, each of you glancing at each other and trying not to get caught, but ultimately failing. Your skin starts to itch, but even as you scratch, it doesn’t go away. You even try some lotion from your nightstand, and that makes the itching worse. You’d tear off your clothes if Ellie wasn’t there. A strange thought trickles into your mind, urging you to do it anyways, and maybe even take hers off, too. You have an idea of what she looks like under her clothes, you had gym together in high school. Perverse thoughts continue to plague you, starting off as intrusive before suddenly they feel… Natural. 

She doesn’t allow the next episode to autoplay.

“Do you feel… Weird?” she asks. You nod. “Me too.”

“Cool. Uh, what could be causing this?” you wonder, sitting up and turning to look at her. 

“No idea, or… Oh, fuck.”

“Oh, fuck?” you repeat, wondering why she would say such a thing. 

“When that creature is in heat, all other senses and instincts are dulled. It wandered off and was hostile due to unfamiliar surroundings and the threat we posed. As a defense mechanism, it covered us in-”

“No,” you realize. “That’s real?! That’s a real thing?!” 

“Yeah,” she sighs. “It’s only gonna get worse from here.”

“The effects are documented?! Why didn’t they warn us?!”

“That specific species hasn’t been studied enough. We didn’t know if they reproduced more like plants, or like animals… Until now, I guess,” Ellie explains. “Well, at least we weren’t too exposed to it. Too much of it and you don’t really have a choice but to do certain things, or-”

“Speak for yourself, my mind control abilities require skin-to-skin! What’s gonna happen to me?” you ask, frightened. 

“Well, unless you, y’know, you’re gonna be in a lot of pain. I don’t know for how long, again, this species isn’t well-studied due to its reclusive nature, but-” She cuts herself off with a sigh. ”I’m not the best person to talk to about this.”

“Considering you know so much about it, why wouldn’t you be the best person to talk to?”

“Because the more I talk about the effects, the more I want to prevent you from suffering from them,” she admits, finally meeting your gaze, and you could drown in the depth of her eyes, black oceans that are burning hot even when they aren’t glowing orange. 

“You just said you weren’t exposed to it very much, so why would you…?”

“You really don’t know?” she asks, sounding almost angry.

“Know what?”

“And everyone was telling me I was being so obvious,” she scoffs. 

“What?!” you ask again, exasperated already by her vagueness.

“I’m into you, for fuck’s sake!”  she confesses.

“Is that why you’re so unpredictable?!” You’re shocked. Of all the possible reasons for her hot-and-cold act, you hadn’t considered this. You sigh. “Well, okay. If it gets too bad, help me out. I’m consenting now before my condition gets worse and you won’t be able to tell if I’m telling the truth or not.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Y/N, I can’t just hook up with you and pretend like nothing happened! I’m not like that,” she says.

“Who said we had to pretend like it didn’t happen? I’m interested in you, too. We get this over with and then we start dating or whatever you want to do. You’ll probably change your mind once you’ve been with me, though.”

“Why would you say that?” Ellie asks. She sounds… Defensive. 

“It’s prolonged skin-to-skin contact. No one’s ever stayed after… That. They can’t even look at me. I know their most vulnerable secrets, and they know mine. And that’s with me trying to prevent absorbing anything. Once I… We… Y’know, that gets pretty hard to not do, and I get the feeling it’s gonna be even harder if my mind is only focused on one thing.” 

“You warned them first?” she wonders. You nod. “Then it’s their own damn fault, not yours. I’m fine with that, gets everything out in the open before we get in too deep. Well, before you do. I- All I think about is you, honestly. I know we don’t do a whole lot together, but living with you, watching our favorite shows, all that… I love it. I never want it to end. I wish I wasn’t too cowardly to show it.”

“You’re showing it now,” you tell her, surprised at her honesty but wanting to encourage it. 

“I guess I am,” she admits, soothed by your words. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod, though you’re a bit nervous. 

Ellie ventures from her bed to yours, taking your face in her hands. She looks as nervous as you feel, but she goes for it. You kiss back, of course.

When you part, she smiles. 

“You really like me, too?” 

“I told you,” you reply. 

“I guess I just wasn’t expecting…” She sighs and smiles again. “That was nice.”

“Wanna do it again?” you offer with a cheeky grin. She nods, and the two of you kiss again, and again, and again, until you’re under her, thighs interlocked as you both needily roll your hips. Her hands slide up your shirt, but before she gets to your chest, she asks:

“Can I?”

“Of course,” you reply, and she gets back  to work, resuming the kiss while massaging your breasts and using her thumbs to rub your nipples through your bra. Your thighs squeeze around the one of hers between them, and you can feel her satisfaction. 

Ellie pulls away. Oh no, don’t do that.

“This is really okay, right?” 

“Can’t you tell?” you ask. Your hands were already cupping her cheeks, but you press into them a little harder, giggling at her smushed face. 

“Oh, that’s what that is… I just thought it felt really good to be, y’know…” Riding your thigh. 

We’re touching. I can sense what you’re thinking, to an extent. Surface level stuff, can’t go deeper without actually trying, you tell her without opening your mouth. And because I’m not guarding myself all the way, you’re able to feel, y’know… Some of what I’m feeling. 

“So cool…” she murmurs, and you catch a hint of excitement at the thought of…

You blush, a sheepish smile on your face. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Oh, wow, okay, I mean, I know you warned me, but- Wait, not like that, I want this still, just… I gotta be more careful.”

“Why?” you ask reflexively, but you know. She thinks it before she says it:

“I don’t want you to feel pressured,” like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. She puts her hands against yours, smiling again when she feels just how much more attractive she made herself to you by saying that and genuinely meaning it. You pull your hands away to take off your shirt, helping her with hers. “Wow.” 

“I- I can put my shirt back on.”

She puts her hands on your hips and oh, okay. It was a good “wow.” 

“This is pretty convenient,” she murmurs. “People don’t like this?”

“Just wait ‘til we climax, okay? You’ll change your mind.” 

I don’t think I will, Ellie thinks. Nothing about her could change my mind at this point. 

You gasp at that. 

“I, uh, I’m sorry,” she murmurs, embarrassed. 

You shake your head, the need between your thighs only growing with time. 

Ellie kisses you again, reaching around you for the clasp of your bra as it gets deeper. She presses her hand against the clasp, and you know what she’s asking.

Yes, please. 

Great manners, she thinks, and you can feel the satisfaction in it. 

Your lips part so that she can take your bra the rest of the way off, and she next kisses your neck, hot and heavy and wet kisses trailing down to your chest. 

She feels pleasure blossom from every kiss and can’t help but smirk before she finally kisses one of your nipples, sucking on it and flicking her tongue and-

“Oh, fuck, Ellie, I- Ha, you- thank you, oh,” you whimper, squirming underneath her. 

Sensitive, huh? I guess that’s to be expected, with the pollen and all. I wonder if she’d mind me writing a research article about this. Mm, so soft. 

“You can do whatever you want as long as you keep doing that,” you tell her. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Ellie pulls away to say, and you whine. “Oh, right, just- Thoughts, y’know, that’s gotta be distracting.”

“You’re not my mindless sex slave,” you insist. 

Would be if you asked, she flirts.  

You can’t help but giggle at that, planting a kiss on her forehead. 

She resumes her work, switching to your other breast while still stimulating the one she was before with her fingers. You grind yourself against her thigh. 

Fuck, that’s so hot. I didn’t even know I was capable of being this happy, or horny, for that matter. Oh, she’s perfect. I knew she would be. 

“Well, that’s a kink I didn’t know I had,” you breathe. 

“What?” 

“Praise kink.”

“Oh,” Ellie chuckles. “What, didn’t the others… think stuff…like… that?” Ellie’s question gets weaker as she feels… Feels that they didn’t. It was never as loving, it was just shallow, physical thoughts. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine. We’re together now.”

“We are,” Ellie agrees. “It sucks that you got sick, but… I’m glad this is working out for the best.” 

For now, that scared little part of you speaks up. 

Ellie’s kisses trail down, but she stops once she feels a different concern. 

“I don’t care if you’re not totally bare down there; do I look like the kind of girl who is?” 

“Fair enough,” you whisper, anxiety threatening to overwhelm you. She rests her head against your stomach, hugging you. 

We don’t have to do this. We don’t. I can try and get you sedatives, or I can sleep over at Yukio’s or Wade’s and let you deal with this on your own. But I want to, if you want to. We can still be together either way, or if you don’t want to be together, we can just try and forget about this. It’s really up to you. 

“I want to,” you reply. “I just- I really like you, and I don’t want you to stop liking me because of this.” 

“Okay. I feel pretty confident that I’m gonna feel the same way about you that I did before, it’s already getting stronger. I like knowing what’s going on in your head. I like that you know what’s going on in mine. Makes the whole communication thing a million times easier, which is good, ‘cause I kinda suck at it most of the time.”

“Okay.” 

I’m literally about to burst, please, oh, please, can we get back to it? 

Ellie can’t help but grin. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” 

She pulls your bottoms and underwear down in one clunky motion, you’re not really sure if your shimmying is helping or not. She props your legs open and you can’t help but cover your face, especially as her filthy and lovestruck thoughts seep into your skin. You’re blushing so hard right now, you can feel it.

“You’re- You know what I think,” Ellie murmurs. “Do you still want…?”

You nod fervently, and she chuckles. She inches down and gives a few experimental licks and kisses, humming with delight as you shudder and whimper. She finds her niche flicking her tongue against your clit at a rapid pace. 

She tastes amazing, fuck. I just need to make her feel good, she thinks. You’re done for. 

You shake underneath her, she’s like a force of nature. There’s no fighting, there’s not even a way to help. You just lay there and take it, tangling your hands in the sheets. She moves them to her hair, and you twist your fingers in it, squeezing more than you ever actually pull it. You’d hate to accidentally hurt her. 

“F-Fuck, Ellie, I…” She’s doing the absolute most, or so you thought. She slides a couple fingers inside and curls them. You’re damn near sobbing, you’re so sensitive already and then she just… You pitifully whimper and whine as you get closer and closer. “I- I-” 

She hums with satisfaction, continuing to flick and swirl her tongue furiously until you finish. And now, you’ll see how she takes it. 

“Whoa,” she breathes after working you through your orgasm. “That was…” She smiles.

“What?” you blurt. She’s still smiling. She’s smiling?! “What did you see?”

“I mean, first of all, you weren’t kidding when you said wait ‘til we climax. Second of all… It was you. It was like your mind just completely opened up and sucked me in. I don’t see how anyone wouldn’t love that. To see all of it, to know you so much better. Maybe they were just intimidated.” 

“Maybe don’t include that part in your paper.”

She grabs your hand, pressing it against her cheek. 

“Your turn. It’s okay. Whatever you want to know or see, it’s yours. It’s only fair.”

You accept her offer. She has a loving family but constantly feels overshadowed by her older sister. Her first pet was a middle-aged corn snake – her cousin moved away for college when she was ten and entrusted her with its care. It died on her fifteenth birthday and while its lifespan was normal, maybe even exceptionally long, she’s never really had a good birthday since. 

Her first crush was a girl with red hair and freckles for days. Her first love was Yukio, though she regrets never really showing it the way she should’ve when they dated. She doesn’t want to make the same mistakes with you. 

You find her mental list of your favorite things, playing through the memories of her hearing you say they were your favorite or of her simply observing the choices you make. You start taking note of her own favorite things that you haven’t discovered yet. You dig through her kinks and fantasies a little, not surprised at what you find. 

You continue to gently explore her mind, creeping down dark hallways of fear and depression and anger; traipsing through meadows of her most pleasant memories, a surprising amount of them with you. 

You slip back out, and she smiles nervously. 

“So…” she starts, but doesn’t know how to continue. 

“So,” you reply, smiling with her. “That was nice. A lot more peaceful than I was expecting, not gonna lie.” 

Ellie chuckles at that, and you get off the bed, legs wobbly but still functional enough for you to open the closet and grab the drawstring bag tucked in the back. 

You place it on the bed.

“Take your pick, it’s all good,” you tell her, but she’s still stunned at the fact that you knew where it was. “Doesn’t freak you out too much, does it?”

“I’m just surprised you went there.”

“Didn’t you?” you ask. 

“Yeah, but- But you’re- I guess what I’m really saying is that I’m still surprised you’re attracted to me, I didn’t think I’d be your type.”

“You didn’t?” 

“Well, I guess- I mean, those people you dated, I never saw them, so I didn’t have anyone to really compare myself to in terms of what you might like.”

“I like you.” 

“I like you, too,” she replies with a chuckle. “Are you still-”

“Yes, yes, dear god, yes,” you quickly reply. You weren’t gonna say anything as you’re glad to be having this talk, but the pain, the hunger has slowly built back up. “How long do you think this is gonna last?”

Ellie fishes through her bag, pulling out the one you were hoping for and spraying it down with a specialized cleaner before carefully wiping it off with a tissue. She attaches it to a harness before shucking her jeans and putting on the harness with surprising grace and speed. 

“I don’t know, but I’m here. As long as you want me.” 

You kiss her, tangling your hands in her hair. Her hands rest on your thighs, asking permission without opening her mouth. You part from the kiss to nod before resuming. She slides two fingers in, pumping them and reveling in the way you twitch and squirm with sensitivity. She pulls them out; you pout. She can’t hold back a smirk as she tastes you on her fingers, using her other hand to carefully line herself up with your entrance. 

Ellie eases in, torturously slow. You wrap your legs around her and plunge the toy the rest of the way in. 

“Needy, are we?” 

“You already know that,” you pitifully whimper, and her cocky expression fades into one of sympathy. 

“Would it be better if you got on top? So you can set the pace?” 

“Maybe later, if you get tired.” For now, I just want you to pound me until I can’t take it anymore and then some. 

A chill of excitement rolls down Ellie’s spine.

Is that so?

You nod, rocking your hips. She snatches them, and you still. She feels the way your stomach does a flip like you’re at the top of a rollercoaster; that brief thrilling moment just before racing down the track. 

She hopes she makes you scream, too. 

“Can’t do that if you don’t fucking move,” you remark, getting even more impatient. Under normal circumstances, that would earn you bondage and maybe even a smack somewhere, but Ellie knows you literally need her to fuck you as the effects of the pollen grow stronger. You may have made the remark about her not being a mindless sex slave, but she wouldn’t be surprised if you were by the end of this. 

Gladly. 

That makes her blush, before she finally gets to work. She warms up with a steady pace, but the thrusts quickly become savage, almost clumsy with how fast and hard she’s going. Every time she hits that spot, you gasp or moan or whine or whimper, nails digging into her shoulders, her back, whatever you can get your hands on as you cling for dear life. 

You get close once more, fairly quickly, but you need a little more. What you don’t need are spoken words, though. Ellie reaches for her bag and fishes out a wand, wetting the head of it with her mouth before handing it to you. The feeling of desperate gratitude flows from you to her through every inch of touching skin, and she grins, smooching your forehead. 

The hum of the vibrator is simply white noise compared to the symphony of sounds the two of you are making. Ellie already enjoys topping damn near enough to finish untouched, but feeling echoes of your pleasure only intensifies it. 

You cover your mouth as your eyes tear up and clench shut, but she tears the hand off, pinning it to the bed. 

“It’s embarrassing,” you whine. 

“What is? That you’re enjoying this?”

You pant, unable to get the words out of your mouth, but she knows what you’re saying. She returns her hand to your hip, letting yours free. 

No, not that, just… I’m being so fucking loud and shrill and my face looks so-

You know I don’t think that, she cuts off your negative thoughts. You’ll have to work on that together in the future. If you don’t believe her thoughts, maybe she’ll have to show you. Wouldn’t that be something? You reverse cowgirl in front of a mirror with her hand on your throat and another on your hip while she rocks up into you? You’d blush so much, it’d be so cute. And you wouldn’t be able to look away, she’d grab you by your cheeks and show you just how fucking sexy you are when you- 

The grip of your legs tightens around her, forcing her as deep as she can go while you unravel on that synthetic extension of her, sobbing with sensitivity. You’ve lost control again and Ellie’s right there with you, gasping and swearing and surely leaving bruises on your hips with how tightly she’s gripping them. 

“Oh, please don’t stop,” you beg. 

“Gotta loosen your legs a little, babe,” she reminds you, and you immediately do, a stunned expression on your face that confuses her. 

“You called me babe,” you coo. 

“I’m literally inside you,” she replies with a scoff, cheeks heating up even more at how ridiculously adorable you are. “One more round like that and then you’re gonna have to ride me.”

“Fine by me.”

Ellie resumes her motions from before, but this time you’re not as interactive, you can barely hold the vibrator in place, let alone do anything else. She’s fucking the life out of you and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

She grins at that thought, taking a pause to kiss you again. 

Perfect, oh, so perfect. And all mine. 

She returns to her merciless pace, now grabbing your hips and dragging them down to meet her motions sooner. Your whole body ripples, chest bouncing up and down as she slams inside you, your moans punctuating every thrust. 

“C- C-” you pant, “Cl- Clo…”

Ellie shushes you comfortingly, not wanting you to waste your energy.

“I- Ha, I, Oh… Oh, please, Ellie, I-” your breath catches in your throat. 

“I know, baby, I know. It’s okay,” she reassures you. 

You keep panting, taking all she has to offer as loving and lustful thoughts flow back and forth between you. You hit that perfect peak with a sob of pleasure, and Ellie becomes weaker as she tries to work you both through it. Oh, that won’t do. 

Words aren’t necessary. She pulls out, and the emptiness is soul-crushing. The issue is quickly resolved by readjusting your positions as planned, fuck, it feels so much bigger like this. 

She caresses your thighs, her thoughts jumbled to the point where they’re not even words anymore, just feelings of desire and satisfaction and gratitude and admiration and… 

Love. 

Love, all-encompassing, stronger than anything you’ve ever experienced. 

“Wow,” you sigh. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Ellie says softly. 

“I hate to rush things, this is- It’s important, y’know? Pretty clear where we stand after this, and- And I-”

“We can definitely have a do-over, if you want… But so far, we’re enjoying ourselves, and isn’t that what matters?” 

“Yeah,” you whimper. “Let me just-“

“I’ve got it,” she says, taking the still-moving wand from your hand, which is trembling just as much. “Just take what you need, babe.” 

She holds it in place for you as you rock your hips, finding that perfect angle and riding the waves. Somewhere in the haze you find her other hand and squeeze it as tightly as you’re clenching your eyes shut. 

You continue that way; words don’t need to be exchanged, just uncontrollable moans and thoughts that are sweet, dirty, or both as orgasm after orgasm washes over you. You’re drowning. 

You’re exhausted and overstimulated, but fuck, you need it. You need it so bad. 

Suddenly, though, Ellie snatches your hips, forcing you to still. 

“Y/N. Y/N, breathe.” 

“What?” you respond, panting. Oh, that’s right. That’s your name. You’d almost forgotten. 

“Lay down,” she instructs you. 

“But- But I…”

“You’re on the verge of passing out. Lay down, and breathe.” 

“I need…”

“Lay on your side. I’ll take it from here, at least for a little while,” she insists. “I’ll stay inside you so we can sleep.”

You force yourself up and off of the strap, collapsing onto the bed in a curled-up ball of pain and sobs and need. There’s not enough words to describe how it feels to be so empty, the pain is like your heart’s been put in a blender both literally and metaphorically. 

Ellie spoons you, reentering you as soon as she can get properly realigned. 

You sigh in relief.

“Is that what you need the most, babe? For me to be inside you?”

“Yeah,” you pitifully reply. 

“Then we’ll stay like this and try to get some rest.” She caresses the curve of your waist and it’s like you’re being gently electrocuted; tingling chills trickle out from every millimeter of touching skin. You shiver, and Ellie manages to get a blanket over the two of you, mostly using her feet. Normally, you’d get a good chuckle out of such antics. You’re too blissed out for it to even register, though. You were in a cold sweat before, and now you’re in a warm embrace with a blanket that feels softer than ever against your bare skin. 

She’s still shaking. She needs water, but I can’t exactly leave. But who could come here? Maybe Yukio, but that’d be awkward, even if we’re friends now. Wade? Oh, fuck no. 

“I’ll be alright,” you mumble. 

“You almost fainted. You need something in you.”

“I already have something in me,” you reply, the most adorable mix of sleepy and smug as you teasingly rock your hips. Ellie scoffs. 

“Fine. But as soon as this wears off-”

“I know,” you hum. “Let’s just sleep now. You’re- You’re a very good big spoon.”

“Thanks. Was there anything you didn’t like, aside from the obvious?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“Anything you liked in particular?” 

“Your thoughts were very sweet. And I like that you talked to me, y’know, communicated a lot and made sure I was okay.”

“That’s kind of the bare minimum.”

“I guess. What about you? Likes and dislikes?”

“Fuck, you’re… You’re perfect. That’s all I can really say.” 

And with that, you two drift off. 

You awaken to a pain that sweeps over your entire body, like thick needles piercing every pore straight down to the bone. You scream, but it’s not just physical torment.

She’s abandoned you. She doesn’t want you anymore; doesn’t wanna breed you, doesn’t wanna make you hers, doesn’t- You sob in pain, clawing at your burning, aching, itching skin as you writhe. 

The door opens. New mate? Please let it be a new mate. You need to be filled. Need it. 

“Shit, Y/N, I thought since you were asleep…” Ellie trails off, closing the door.

“It hurts, it hurts!” you wail, not really processing what she’s saying. You just need help. 

“I’m sorry,” she says solemnly, finding the toy from before and cleaning it off, only bothering to take off her pants before putting the strap back on.

“Make it stop, please,” you beg. 

“I’m trying,” she insists, but even as she lines herself up, you’re still sobbing inconsolably. She eases in but you’re still shaking, hot tears running down your face. “There we go. Can you drink this?” 

She holds a reusable water bottle. You nod. 

“Hurt so bad, thought you left me forever,” you whimper as she pushes the button to flip the straw up. She presses it against your trembling lips.

“I’d never,” she whispers. “Please drink.”

You finally take your first sip, and realize that your instincts regarding food and water must’ve been completely shut down until this moment. You take gulp after gulp until she pulls it away.

“You’re gonna make yourself sick,” she chides you, looking more concerned than ever. 

“I- I-” you pant, but you’re not even sure what you’re trying to say. The pain is gone, but it lingers in the back of your mind, like a halo of misery hovering over your skin. She puts a hand on your shoulder, and you can’t help but project the feelings you’re feeling right now, a constant loop:

fuckmebreedmeownmebitemeclaimmeyoursyoursyoursneedyouneedyouneedyou

“I know,” she sighs. “I don’t… You’re too far gone right now. We can stay like this so you’re not in pain, but I don’t think we should do what we did yesterday. Your mind isn’t as clear as it was then.”

Not a worthy mate for her? Need it, need to be filled, maybe someone else will-

She thrusts, hard. It certainly gets your attention. 

“Y/N, no. You’re- You’re worthy. You know I want you. Just not like this. Things were different yesterday, you were still… Lucid. This feels wrong. I don’t want you to regret anything we do together.”

You’re still teeming with feelings of perceived rejection, eyes blurry with tears. 

“I’m your… Mate, right? That means I have to protect you, doesn’t it?”

You nod. 

“Right now, I’m trying to protect you by not going any further than this. Reach out. Feel it.” 

You obey, wrapping your hand around her arm. She’s right. Her intentions are pure. She does still care, it’s why she doesn’t want to do more. 

“You look tired, still. I’m guessing you only woke up because of the pain. Let’s readjust so you can go back to sleep.”

Readjust? She’s not going to pull out again, is she? You couldn’t take that. You wrap your arms and legs around her tightly, keeping her in. She yelps in surprise before she sees your terrified expression and feels the waves of pure fear rushing out of you. 

“Right. How about this? Let go. I won’t leave you empty again.” You loosen the grip of your legs and she holds the dildo in, pulling away. The suction cup resists, but eventually it’s forced out of the rubber ring on her harness. You nod, this is acceptable. You’d do anything to avoid the pain. “There we go.”

She smiles sadly, stroking your hair and the side of your face. 

“You okay?” she asks. You nod again. “Can you talk?”

You open your mouth, but can’t seem to force even a simple yes from your vocal cords. Your throat doesn’t hurt, the blockage is purely mental. Everything you’re feeling right now, everything she’s feeling right now, it’s too much. You look at her woefully, shaking your head. 

“That’s okay. Can you still communicate through touch?” 

Your legs are still loosely looped around her. You can feel it all: her concern, her burning need to keep you safe, her fear that she’s doing the wrong thing, and, most importantly, her unwavering love for you. 

You try to push some thoughts her way, but they’re still scrambled. 

Safesafewarmsafeloveholdmesafelovewarmholdmesafe

“To an extent,” she says for you. “Got it.” She takes off the harness, pulling the covers over you both before pulling you into her arms. She was right, you’re exhausted. 

You wish you could say something, thank her, tell her you love her. It’s just like when you were a kid, before you even knew what your abilities were. Every casual touch throughout the day was another tooth on the locked zipper your lips became. You were nonverbal more often than not, until you got here. You feel helpless.

“I didn’t know that,” she murmurs. “But don’t worry. I know the other stuff. You’re saying it just fine like this.” 

You burrow into her embrace, still trembling. 

“Just breathe. It’ll be okay.”

What if it never stops? 

“It will. Just takes time. Oh, fuck, when’s the last time you used the restroom?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer, helping you make your way to it on jelly legs. 

“Let me know when you’re done and I’ll help you back into bed.” 

You grab her wrist.

Can’t pull it out myself, can’t do it, it’s gonna hurt too much. 

“Right. I’ll pull it out, and I’ll be right here waiting when you’re done. On the count of three, okay? 1, 2…”

You can’t help but screech. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, why wouldn’t you scream? It sounds louder than it feels in your throat, and that's when you realize you’re still holding onto her wrist. She’s screaming, too. 

You rip your hand away and rush through the business you need to take care of as fast as you can, washing your hands and returning to her, though you collapse at her feet, shaking and sobbing.

She puts the toy back inside of you, but it’s not enough this time. You need to be bred. This alleviates the pain for the most part, but you’re filled with an indescribable tension and you know that any second, the burning ache will sweep its way over you again. 

She helps you back into bed, but you still tremble. You’re entangled with her in more ways than one, and she sighs as she feels your fears, your need. 

“I’ll move it for you, how about that?” she asks. You nod, and she reaches a hand down, sliding the toy up and down — never fully out, but just enough for you to feel it. That’s better. You sigh in relief, relaxing into her. “There we go. You’re gonna be just fine. Go back to sleep.”

I’m sorry I hurt you. 

“It’s okay. It was an accident.” But you can feel a sickly sort of feeling inside of her. 

I told you. I told you that it would ruin things. That it would repulse you. That I would. 

“What are you talking about?”

I can feel it. Don’t try to lie to me, especially while you’re doing that. 

Ellie watches the toy slide in and out of you at her hand, the way you quiver every time she bottoms out. It’s not just visual, she has a sixth sense, your sixth sense. Every little tremor sends a ripple of chills through her.

“You don’t repulse me. Your abilities don’t repulse me. I’m repulsed by myself. I shouldn’t have let it end up like this, I should’ve figured things out sooner. I’m not upset because I felt your pain in the way that you think I am.” 

Things? 

“The creature, your feelings, my feelings, what you’ve been through… What you’re going through now. I should’ve figured it all out before, it wouldn’t be like-”

Words are failing you again, but you do your best to project comfort to her. It’s really not so bad overall. Everything feels good, as long as she doesn’t stop. Most superhero couples don’t end up together in ideal ways. At least you two got to have mind-blowing sex. 

Ellie snickers. 

“Okay. If you’re sure. Now, sleep, alright? I’ve got you.”

And so you do. 

You wake up in a hospital bed under a thin blanket, wrapped in Ellie’s fluffy black robe. 

How’d you get here? You try to remember, but the last thing you do is being encircled by Ellie, and she was- Oh, goodness. You blush, remembering every filthy thing you said and did. 

The blush is even deeper as the more romantic memories roll in. Maybe there were some complications with the pollen, were you sick? Oh, gross, you were probably gushing snot in your sleep and she rushed you here, worried you’d suffocate! 

“You’re awake! How are you?” a friendly-looking man who’s probably several years older than you— but still has a somewhat youthful appearance —asks. 

“Where’s Ellie?” you ask instead of answering. Does she regret it? Oh, she does, doesn’t she? You knew it. 

He smiles knowingly. 

“I finally convinced her to go take a shower, so, of course, you immediately woke up. She’ll be back soon.”

“Um, who are you?”

“I’m Peter, I’m one of Ellie’s coworkers. Technically her supervisor, but, eh…” 

“Oh, Dr. Parker! I’ve heard of you. Good things. Uh, sorry, I’m sure Ellie would tell me if she was here, but… What happened?”

“Right! You weren’t waking up, and while Xavier’s has a pretty good medical center, there weren’t any biochemistry experts to consult… So, Ellie called me and I told her to bring you here. After a little bit of field research, we found that the creature whose pollen you inhaled quite a bit of hibernates directly after mating season. Do your sinuses hurt? We flushed them to see if that would help.”

You shake your head. 

“Good, that’s good. Still… Hurting?”

Your blush returns, and you shake your head with a bit more enthusiasm. He laughs.

“Good! Ope!” He tilts his head, and you’re confused until you finally start to hear her footsteps, too. The door opens. 

Ellie’s eyes widen at the sight of you conscious. 

“You know what they say about watched pots never boiling. Text me if you two need anything, Ellie.”

And with that, Dr. Parker steps out. 

“How are you? Do you feel okay?” 

“Given that I’m not writhing in agony and I can talk again, I’d say I’m okay. How are you?”

She stammers, before clutching your hand with great urgency. She stares down at both of her hands encircling yours. 

What if it was the pollen talking and she doesn’t really like me? What if she did like me before but feels used now? What if she’s lying about being okay so I won’t worry? I hope she wasn’t scared when she woke up. What if- 

“Anxious,” you observe. “I do like you. I don’t feel used, and I hope you don’t either. I’m really okay. When I woke up, I was just confused. I recognized your robe, so I knew I was okay.” 

She recognized my robe, so she knew she was okay. She trusts me that much? 

Of course I do. 

She looks up at you, positively beaming. 

“I’m- I’m really happy you’re okay. I think they’ll wanna check your vitals and stuff, but we should be good to go home after that, okay?”

“Okay,” you reply. 

“Er… I know this isn’t really the right order of things, but you said before… I- Do you still want…?”

Pleasebemygirlfriendpleasebemygirlfriendpleasebemygirlfriendpleasebemygirlfriendpleasebemygirlfriendpleasebemygirlfriend!

You laugh, and Ellie realizes you’re still holding hands. Her eyes widen and her cheeks flush as she snatches her hands away, crossing her arms and looking adorably shy. 

“Yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 4

Find the series masterlist 

You learn some things, do Laswell a favor, and run into Captain again. This is becoming a bad habit. 

Speech in italics is Russian, this chapter. 

Warnings: Swearing, aftermath of violence, vague threat from terrorist, MW2019 typical Russians, blood, injury (not to reader), spy shit. 

Word count: 2k

Serious slow burn John Price x f!reader

You discovered the plot on accident. Really. 

It was just… one of those things.

Sergio had invited you to stay for a few days and play with his girls, so you did. You brought them gifts from Turkey, California, and Scotland (you’d had a layover and had gotten bored in the airport). 

The girls were darling, and you’d known them both all their lives. You would never, ever marry Sergio (not least because of his obsession with the next future ex-wife) but you loved his kids. Sophia and Natalia. For a while, when you’d initially started building this relationship, you’d helped tutor Sophia. 

Now, you played with the girls and helped to keep them out of trouble and helped with their homework. You were more or less the weird aunt they saw every once in a while, and that worked for you. 

The girls were asleep, but you’d been unable to sleep yourself. So you got up, figuring you’d have a little snack or some water and wander a bit. 

Except wandering may not have been the best idea. 

Low voices from a sitting room had you on alert, and you moved as quietly as you knew how, creeping closer. 

“...perfect bait for them,” someone was saying in Russian. Not Sergio. You didn’t recognize this voice, actually. 

“Why do you want to capture one of them?” That was Sergio, sounding vaguely disgusted. “More of a risk this way, no?” 

“You are short-sighted,” the first speaker said. Well, he was definitely above Sergio, then. “Capturing an operative will give us an edge.”

There was a beat of silence. “Still sounds risky,” Sergio grumbled. “But it is your will, so we will see it done. When will you set the bait?”

“It has been set already,” the leader said, sounding smug. “I let information leak about the gas storage, so the Americans will know of it by now. We will be ready this time.”

Well. That was fucked. 

There were days when the back and forth espionage shit got on your last nerve. 

“To a successful hunt, then,” Sergio offered, the gentle clinking of glasses following his words. 

You might be able to hear more if you stayed… But you also ran the risk of discovery. And that would end poorly for you.

Bullet in the head kind of poorly.

So you snuck away back up to your room, debating the best way to alert Laswell. Text was risky, but a call would be more risky, especially here. You couldn’t wait until morning, just in case people were already en route. And since you didn’t have a location… 

You puffed out a breath, walking into the en suite and shutting the door. There was no easy way to do this, and you didn’t trust Sergio not to have bugs planted in the bathroom. So you hummed to yourself as you typed out a quick text.

Gas a trap for info. Advise abort.

There. That was… not your best work, admittedly, but you were a bit strapped for time. It got your point across. 

And, really, if someone managed to get hold of your text records, you had more things to worry about than the wording of a single text. 

She replied two minutes later. Copy. Send updates.

You puffed out a breath. She was so lucky you liked her. (And that you were indebted to her still for her help.) 

Turning the shower on, you decided maybe a bit of hot water would help you relax enough to get to sleep. 

You were very glad you had the girls as an excuse to be out of the house for the fallout of the failed mission. Sergio didn’t tell you anything, but the blooming black eye spoke for him. 

You stayed another week, mostly because the girls pleaded with you to stay. But a little bit because you were curious and wanted to see if you could hear anything else. When that ended up being futile, you booked a flight to Morocco. 

Because why not.

The plan was to touch base with someone you knew who had fingers in shipping pies. (Seriously, the woman was an absolute master. She could get anything anywhere in the world, for the right price.) And, of course, to eat some delicious food, and check on the hideaway you kept there. You had several across the globe, but it had been a while since you’d been to this one. You probably needed to change out some of the non-perishables. 

It was supposed to be a low-key, quiet trip. Relaxing. The only adventure you wanted was wandering through the city. 

It was not a low-key, quiet trip. 

Three days in, you’d restocked your hideaway, contacted your shipping master friend, and found a new place with some of the best food you’d ever had. It was shaping up to be a good trip.

And then a man dropped down in front of you, woozy, dark skin glistening with sweat. The tactical vest was a dead giveaway, but the flag was a surprise. 

You very purposely did not look for a name. But you did do a quick sweep of the rest of him. 

Blood seeped out from under the vest, staining his shirt, and you swore softly.

“You need help.” 

“I’m fine.” But the words were a little sluggish, one hand pressing over the wound at his hip. 

“You need help,” you reiterated, glancing around, suddenly wary. You did not want to be caught in the crossfire of this, and the longer you stayed out in the open, the more likely that became. “Please. I’ve got bandages back at my place.” 

His gaze held yours, suddenly hard, calculating. “I’ve got people on the way,” he said, clearly testing.

“Good, then they can pick you up.” You ducked under one of his arms, your own looping across his back. “Come on, in we go. Before whoever shot you finds us both.”

He gave in, letting you walk him down half a block and inside. He didn’t even complain going up the stairs to your hideaway, though you could see the way his jaw clenched.

“This one’s mine,” you told him, pulling your keys out of your pocket when you reached the appropriate floor. It took a moment to get the door unlocked and maneuver him inside without letting go - he was slowly leaning more on you for support. You kicked the door shut after the two of you and more or less carefully deposited him in a chair. He groaned softly, like he didn’t even mean to, and you winced in sympathy. 

Fortunately, all your hideaways had first aid kits stocked, and you thumped it onto the table in front of him.

“I’ll help if you want,” you offered, taking a step back and putting your hands up, away from your body. “But you are very well armed and I am not.” 

“S’alright,” he muttered, accent effortlessly charming even as he popped open the first aid kit. “I’ve got it.” His gaze lifted to yours, a little less wary and a little more curious. “What’s your name?”

You tutted at him, amused despite yourself. “Does it matter? You need to get patched up and wait until your buddies come get you.” You put two sealed water bottles onto the table for him, already kind of mourning your decision. Dammit, you shouldn’t have brought him here. 

“Thank you.” He tugged his shirt up and out of the way to press gauze to the still-bleeding gash. 

“Don’t thank me yet,” you muttered, more to yourself than him. You stepped past him into your bedroom, taking a quick look around. Only a few things of sentimental value resided here, and you were quick to throw those and a change of clothes into a duffel bag. 

You had to burn this hideaway now. Not literally, but you’d never be able to come back here again. 

At least nothing here would give them more information on you. 

You set the duffel bag on the floor by the door, ignoring his gaze. You let yourself look around one last time. You really liked this place. Damn. 

“Where are you going?” His voice was calm, just a hint of urgency there. 

“Nowhere yet, I suspect,” you said on a sigh, turning to look. He didn’t actually have a weapon in hand, which rather surprised you. “Just getting ready to go once your friends arrive.” 

His eyes narrowed, suspicion growing. Your smile was crooked and understanding. 

“Just because I helped you doesn’t mean I want that kind of attention,” you said, hands carefully palms-out at your sides again. “Nothing personal.” 

He didn’t seem quite sure what to make of you, shoulders tense, fingers twitching. Then he blinked once and lifted his free hand to the radio on his vest. “Injured, currently patching up. Indoors, one unknown.”

Ah. You were likely the unknown. Well. Fair, honestly. You were acting pretty suspicious for anyone who didn’t know you. 

“Solid copy.” His hand left his radio, but his gaze stayed fixed on you. “They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“And I suppose I’m to wait here until they arrive?” You puffed out a breath. “Alright, sure.” You had contingencies, if you needed them. If you really needed to, you could call Laswell. But you hoped you didn’t have to. 

The wait was silent and felt like it dragged on forever, although in reality it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. Two heavy knocks pulled you from your spot, and you opened the door.

And then blinked.

“Captain?” 

His expression immediately settled into a scowl. “Ace.”

“Huh.” You stepped back to let him in. “I take it this one’s yours, then?” You nodded back at the wounded man behind you. 

“Yes.” He stepped past you, momentarily dismissing you to kneel by the injured man. You could hear them speaking quietly, going over the situation. But Captain’s voice had softened a little, care clear in the way he checked his man. He did have a heart after all. 

That would be your cue to leave. 

You picked up your duffel bag and managed to take one step before a quiet, “Sir,” cut you off.

“Where are you going?” 

Captain was glaring at you now, tense, wary. Probably thinking the worst of you. Again. 

“I have to abandon this place now anyway,” you pointed out reasonably. “You might as well enjoy it, get properly patched up before you go.” 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Is it not enough to know that I’m leaving?” 

“No.” He stood, prowling over to you, using his height to loom over you. 

You debated with yourself, head tilting to one side, looking up at him. You could probably make it if you distracted him with something and ran. Then again, you might not, and you were not in the mood today to be thrown around. 

“I am planning on getting the hell out before whatever chaos you’re involved in explodes.” You kept your tone dry, chin tipping in challenge. 

His lips thinned. “No.”

“You’re not my boss,” you said quietly, stepping into him, refusing to back down. “And you can’t keep me here, not without all kinds of trouble. I’ll be on my way to another country, and you can bug out as soon as you want.” 

He was going to keep arguing with you, you could see it in the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands were ready to grab you. But something distracted the both of them, Captain turning to the injured man.

You didn’t wait. You booked it, hauling ass out of the apartment and down the stairs. You heard the yell behind you, but you didn’t acknowledge it, focused on getting out. 

And once you were outside, it was easy to find crowds and blend in, easy to get to the airport and buy a ticket to Cairo. From there, you weren’t sure, but you did know one thing. 

Captain was showing up too often in your life. He was becoming a distraction. And that? That could be a problem.

[arkiwii]

PLEASE DO RAMBLE ABOUT SARIA IM PUSHING THE AUTISM BUTTON.

I’m newer to arknights and I’m a fan of Saria and Silence because I have eyes but I’m more curious to know what things you wish people talked about more wrt Saria and her relationship to the other RL characters? She has so much complexity as a character but she’s often shown so reductively.

Also cool art (prozd tumblr tags noises)

YOU WON'T HAVE TO ASK ME TWICE THEN.

If you're new to Arknights, then I would gladly recommend you the official Rhine Lab manhua! It's basically everything about Rhine Lab past, Silence and Saria's relationship, and Ifrit's origins, so VERY good to know

But anyway, ABOUT SARIA

You're pretty right that her complexity as a character is not often shown, and it makes me sad, the community often thinks of her as just "divorced dad", the joke is alright but it says so little about her and mostly, about why she's like that

Most people might think "poor Silence" or "poor Ifrit", but rarely anyone feels pity for Saria?

She's someone who grew up without a family. I mean, in the emotional sense of the term. She has a dad, a very likely absent mother as she was never mentioned, but never she grew up lile any child should. She was pressured to act like an adult and independently by her dad when she was just a child. And most importantly, grew up with the firm idea that emotions are useless. Crying won't solve anything. It's showing weakness. You shouldn't get attached to things or people, because it will make you suffer.

But now what does it says about Saria, now that she's an adult? That she's very good at being an adult, of course, but when it comes to emotional stuff, she never grew up. She built some shield around her heart, a VERY sturdy shield, that sure protected her and helped her a lot in her growth, but she came to realize that this shield is now disabling her for her emotional relationships. However, herself don't know how to break it.

I simply love all the psychology and symbolism in this. NoriZC (the artist behind Saria, Silence, Ifrit, and a few other Rhine Lab characters) often associated Saria to rocks and Silence to plants. Rocks are hard to break, but yet, plants can still grow on them. The rocks are also associated to her Arts, as she can use Calcification - a very sturdy shield, basically.

But now this is what truly hurts her. That she can't understand emotions. She's slowly learning (seen with how she learnt with Ifrit and to actually care about her), but there's always things that will escape her. Why Silence is so mad at her, she doesn't really know. She believes that she made a mistake, obviously she blames herself for not being able to stop Kristen or Rhine Lab, but does she understands that Silence is scared that she has been abused and britally faced a reality she never thought existed?

And now she doesn't understand her own emotions neither. She never had a family, never learnt to love, and now that she lost what was the closest to a family, she feels like something is missing. Is she fighting because she wants to stop unethical experiments and save lives? Or is she fighting because she wants Ifrit and Silence to be safe? It might be both, but the second option is out of her understanding. It's just feels weird to tell yourself you care about people when you never learny what it felt to care.

And now, she's alone. Silence may have support from Mayer, from Magallan, Kafka, Ptilopsis, the Doctor themselves even. But Saria? Nobody understands her. Nobody can truly see what is under this shell of hers. Her heart can't be reached, even by herself. It almost feels like that she doesn't care.

That's something I've been thinking about a lot recently. Saying that Saria doesn't care is deeply wrong. She just doesn't know how to show that she cares.

Anyway, that's what I think is extremely interesting in her relationship with Silence and Ifrit. That with them, she would be able to break this shield, to show her heart, to learn what she never got taught, to care and to love. But for this to happen, it would need Silence to perceive Saria's heart and understand it.

[the-s1lly-corner]

ADMIN I GOT A JUICY. JUICY IDEA.

Remember the Slenderman ask. Welp. I want him as a stuffed animal now.

Reader is mostly the same, exept forrr... lets say they have children. And pets. It's up to your interpritation how they got em i trust you.

And lets say they're close. Real close. Like "you weren't home today so i came in and watered your plants" close. Domestic closeness. Talking so much they can sometimes predict what the other will be doing/saying right now.

Reader is very affectionate but obv respects slendy so they just turn to actions and words to show him they care(although it can be a little hard for them to truly know what they're feeling and how to express emotions sometimes).

So, one day Slendys brother(not that one through.) comes for a casual chit-chat. "So how are things with you and reader? Plan to move together any time soon?" "No, why would we do that?" "Oh well i just throught with the nature of your relationship it would ve the next step, naturally.. you've been together for so long!" "..we're not together romantically, if that's what you're implying." "...you're literally raising kids together what do you mean." "....w.wbhjat."

Cue panik. He goes to talk to reader and they're like. Oh shidt. It do be not so just friendly.

Can be just queerplatonic or romantic, both are cute i think:3

Slenderman x slender-being!reader !

genuinely dont know what all to title this post since its so specific so i recommend for anyone reading this who isnt the silly requester to read through the request ueueue rolls around, im gonna get silly!

honestly i dont think slenderman would know much about romance and marriage. like he knows what they are but he doesnt know... everything about it. especially if its in terms of human stuff, with the rings and all that. you know? mostly because he doesnt exactly leave his woods and the number of people/creatures he actually properly interacts with and forms bonds with is very rare and so far, none were romantic...

and yet here he is, tending to your home in his woods that youve made for yourself, while youre away doing god knows what... it would be a shame if the plants in your home dried, or dust started to settle... or worse someone wandering into it when they arent allowed inside... though, thats even assuming they even manage to get that far into the woods given how possess of the area slenderman is

since he doesnt really have a basis to... base your relationship around, it doesnt take until someone else pointing out the dynamic to him. namely, the creatures he calls brothers

are they actually related in admins au? were they just created by zalgo at the same time? do they have the same genetics? honestly admin hasnt decided yet but they still view each other as siblings!

that aside, slenderman would definitely be in some form of denial. him? this man eating monster who mostly lives in solitude? the same one who has never felt the embrace of another person (/j but now that i think about it....)

THAT slenderman?

hell i dont even think its proper denial because he thinks he cant have those feelings.. not i think its denial because this really cant be what it is, right?

this leads to him doing what he does best; silently following someone.. usually in order to spook them out of the woods or to... hunt... but this time, hes simply observing you, trying to figure out if you're in the same boat at him

but you're just so vastly different from him in nature and personality that its hard to pinpoint your thoughts... sure he can read minds; i think most slender beiings can do that; but i dont think they can do it on other slender beings you know

doesnt approach you about it though, so youre going to be the one to ask him what the hell hes doing... again due to limited contact with others hes not the best at expressing his feelings or thoughts outwardly, hell even inwardly its weird for him but thats aside the point

i think im going to leave the ending open on what becomes of your relationship; but i think given how the reader is, they invite him into their home to talk things out with him. are you surprised that he has a possible crush on you? ....only a little since again, this is THE slenderman we're talking about... less that he may have feelings for you, but more so that you just thought he was on the aromantic spectrum

and thats no diss to my fellow aros; honestly i can easily see slenderman being greyromantic or demiromantic :3 ... maybe more so demiromantic, me thinks

rolls around

the ideas are not ideaing i apologize

[sgt-morgan]

Making a home 🖤

Summary: The Mandalorians are rebuilding their home world, and you and Din are an integral part of the efforts. Now it’s time to move your relationship to the next level

Warnings: AFAB and Female identifying reader. Mostly just fluff tho, nothing to crazy here.

A/N: So, this was a labor of love from my obsession with Sci-fi. Mostly the leadership structure and world building came from sources such as Ender’s Game and its subsequent sequels. I love the idea that when it comes to rebuilding something important, like creating a society. Leaders who aren’t afraid to throw themselves into every aspect of the process are the ones most likely to succeed, and I think that Din is the perfect choice for this. He’s seen Mandalorian society at its most vulnerable, and still upheld and believed in its creed, and now he’s the one who gets to put it back together. idk, I just think he’s neat. 🥺

Mando Masterlist

You were laying in the Mandalorian’s bunk next to Grogu. Was it weird that you were sleeping in his bunk? No. You were always in his space. You were in his opinion, an overly affectionate person. When you first started traveling with him, he noticed with your friends, you were constantly hugging, constantly holding hands, constantly fussing with clothing. It was just within your nature. You would fuss at the baby, stroking his petal ears, snuggling him close to you any time the option was available, fussing with his tan robe and making sure it wasn’t too long, resting your forehead against his while he babbled at you, staring into his big brown eyes. It was cute. You were also affectionate with the big scary Beskar covered heathen right from the beginning. You held his hand, arm, pinky, elbow, whatever, with no trace of fear or hesitation. You were constantly attached to him. At first, this made him very uncomfortable,then your relentless need for contact became a necessity. The calm your presence brought, the soft feel of your hand in his, the way you practically glued yourself to his hip when your arms weren’t free. In the days before Din got so used to you touching him constantly, you would lean against his side almost aggressively until one of his arms rested on your hip, or lower back, or around your shoulders. He didn’t get it, but who was he to complain. If in exchange for your cooperation, care, and that bright smile that lit up the darkest of rooms, you only asked for him to be near to you, why would he ever deny you? It’s the easiest trade he’s ever made if he’s entirely honest, he’s just glad that it was that simple.

Now though, he was asking a lot of you. He was Mand’alor. King of a desolate kingdom of warriors, that had finally gathered ability and the strength to rebuild, and they were a tough crowd. He was going to have to rebuild them, and he wasn’t so sure he was the best of choices to be the builder, but the has the dark saber he supposed, so it was him or death, and he didn’t plan on going anywhere.

He was currently working on the Mandalore restoration project with you, Boba Fett, Fennec Shand, Cara Dune, Paz Vizla, and Greef Karga. Their motto? ‘No Kriffing Civil Wars.’ At current, rebuilding meant taking his new found Clan, and traveling the planet settling different clans and establishments into their own homesteads. It meant building settlements, establishing governments, planting crops. With the now desert climate of the planet, a lot of this was centered around taking old settlements and making them habitable again, making the once grand domed cities habitable or at the very least finding creative ways to redistribute usable resources, water being the main problem. You were instrumental in this cause, you would scout resources, build homesteads, help negotiate treaties, plant crops, watch children, do whatever you could, and the people of this world were quickly starting to realize that their king found an excellent queen, even if she wasn’t a Mando herself. They respected their leaders to be certain, Din could be found just as easily establishing leadership with Paz and Boba, as he could be found keeping the peace with Fennec and Karga, as he could be found alongside the men and women who would inhabit these cities, building homes or repairing ships. You were just as willing to get down in the muck with them, you were most often found with Grogu strapped to your back, helping wherever needed. It was a deeply satisfying sight for Din, as much as it was a reassuring one for his people, and slowly but surely in your travels, his people fell in love with your willingness to embrace struggle.

What’s funny is, your touchy nature really did well with the often stuffy and formal Mandalorians as well. This race of live fast, die young, warriors had been forced into a more sedentary society since they had been scattered amongst the stars. All were invited, and in some places they were ridged, Beskar clad, societies like the children of the Watch, where there was no casual helmet removal. Others were of Bo Katan’s nature, removal not being seen as such a sin, the way of the Mandalorian practiced just as diligently, but without as much insistence on armory removal protocols. Din and his ramshackle group of world builders were learning that if this planet was to survive, these people survive, a more fluid look at the creed would need to be adopted. It was at your suggestion he took Boba Fett as a second in command. There was a man who kept the code, but was not your typical Mandalorian. He was casual with his armor and his assets, and with his years of leadership under his belt, he was well suited to the work, and it was apparent in his every move. This partnership seemed to work, people accepted that for their way of life to survive, the creed would need to be upheld in a way that suited the progress made in their society. As these cities and clans filled in the gaps of the planet, the true nature of what Mandalorian society had become, became clearer. There were younglings, and foundlings, and Mandalorians with Mandalorian spouses and non Mandalorian spouses, and Natural born mandalorians and mandalorians who had adopted the creed, and Din saw that your being a perceived outsider worked wonders in places such as these. You were courting a Mandalorian who strictly adhered to the code, and you were not a Mandalorian yourself. You spoke Mando’a, you were a buir, you were for all intents and purposes a follower of he creed, and surprisingly Mandalorians of all kinds took to you easily. He could often find you bumping shoulders with older Mandalorians, battle hardened warriors who weren’t the playful type, easily laughing with you about something or another, as often as he could find you with newer and more relaxed Mandalorians whose lives lived in hiding had made them a more accepting bunch. It stunned him that no matter who you were around, a gentle embrace, a pat on the shoulder, a hand shake, all your simple physical gestures resonated with people.

He suspected your easy acceptance mostly had to do with the way you treated the children. They adored you, constantly gathering around your feet and following you place to place. You always drew a crowd of the little ade, wether they wanted to play with Grogu, or wether they liked the way you so easily gathered them into your arms, he couldn’t say. However, if he were to guess, the way you so easily kissed wounds, wiped tears, gave hugs, gave snacks, acted as a natural magnet. You loved children as well as any Mandalorian did. You could be found with children more often than adults most days, multiple ad’ika dangling from your arms or clutching to your back. You would playfully groan and huff, carrying them along with you as you went about your buissness. You sang songs, played games, broke up scuffles. You would share your food, breaking off pieces for any small child who expressed interest. Just yesterday, you were eating some fried thing one of the people gave you, a little girl eyes it and you brake off a bit of it, blowing on it softly to ensure it wasn’t too hot and popped it into her mouth with a smile, feeding her as if she were your own. She squealed in delight, and Grogu huffed, indignant that his mother would share with another child. You rolled your eyes playfully, broke the food in two halves, and blew them carefully. Once cooled you handed one half to Grogu, still carefully strapped to your back, and gave the other to the girl. Then you sat and talked to them both until they were finished, you wiped both their mouths with your skirts. The girl rubbed her nose with yours, and then with Grogu, and gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek before running off with your son to play. It was precious. That was the day he connected the dots. People watched you more diligently when you were with the children, as if testing to see what you would do when presented with a random child, and you always passed. It was heartwarming, and your easy going nature always seemed to win them over.

In all this rebuilding, it was now coming upon time where Mandalore needed to reestablish itself as its own kingdom. It was time to present his clan as the new rulers of this planet. In essence, he was building a royal family, and to do this, it was pertinent that you become his wife. It was well past time now he supposed, the elders on every place they visited always asked him when he would “gotal’ur gar riddur.” Make you a wife. He knew you’d be willing, but what about this whole royalty thing? He had yet to ask wether it was something you wanted. You were clearly well suited to the task, but would you be willing to make that sacrifice? He knew this was coming, the moment he would have to ask you to jump off this cliff with him. It was a steep ask. So, what would your price be? Would it be peace? Space? Freedom? Would your price be to be free of him and his foundling? His son? Would your price for him being a leader, be your separation? Merciful heavens he hopes not. You were headed now to your new home, but if you were to ask it, once you arrived, you would leave in this little ship you’d diligently built into a home, and he would… rebuild. Maker he hopes you stay. He peeks into the bed, and sees you there with his ad, his son. His child you so diligently cared for as your own, even in sleep. You were doing it now, Grogu must have gotten cold, because there he was curled into your side, wrapped in your blanket as well as his own. You had pulled on one of Din’s shirts now as well, but he could see by the way you curled in on the little green bundle of energy, you were seeking the warmth the kid provided without much regard for your own comfort. He huffed a laugh, and pulled a spare blanket from your bunk. You probably forgot it was even there, it having been months since last you needed it, because now when you slept, you were usually tangled up in his blankets, sharing his warmth. He smiled under his helmet at this revelation, and turned back to his little aliit, his family. You breathed softly and one of your hands rested under the ad’ik, his cheek nestled into your palm, his tiny hands were fisted in your sleeve to keep you close as possible. He watched as the child nuzzled down further into you in sleep, his face a momentary grimace, until he scented your perfume and his worries melted. The baby huffed a sigh lightly, and his small snores resumed. How fond he was of you, how much he depended on your presence, kriff, they both do. Why must this be so difficult? It’s not as if he’s actually asking you to jump off a cliff, he was asking you to help run a planet… Nope, still nerve wracking.

“Din?” Kriff it all, he didn’t mean to wake you. You rubbed a hand over

Your tired eyes and squinted at him from the light outside the bunk that was still on.

“Sorry to wake you cyar’ika.” He sighed, pulling your blanket up around your neck. You caught his hand as he went to pull away and began to pull him into the bunk with you. He was thankful he had removed all but his helmet before coming to settle.

“No apologies nessecary my love, I was wondering when you’d come to bed.” You yawned, fondly stroking a finger over his knuckles while he reached to shut the lights off. Once off, he slips out of his shoes, then removed his helmet. The hiss of the seal being broken is always such a terrifying sound, he often found himself spooked even when nobody was around. It’s silly, he knows. Especially because you and the child are the only two people in the world who are technically allowed to look at him, or you will be once he asks you one terrifying question.

“Sorry cyar'ika, I’m here now.” He mutters, nuzzling into your chest with a grunt. You huff a laugh through your nose and smile. He feels the way you tangle your fingers in his hair, relishes in the soft and sweet contact. He turns his face into your palm and he feels how your curious fingers carefully mark out each of his features. He grins, he finds it funny how well your hands know what your eyes have never seen, he can’t wait for you to see him, he can’t wait to gaze into your eyes that always held so much love without the barrier of his visor in the way. To return that loving gaze with his own. He remembers the first time he officially removed his helmet in your presence. It was your birthday. The second one he’d spent with you, the first he’d spent courting you. He remembered tying a blindfold over your eyes and you giggling.

“What are you doing big guy? You gonna take off that helmet and kiss me?” He almost tripped over thin air, because yeah, that’s exactly what this was. You heard the hiss of his helmet seal and gasped, taking that perfect opportunity, he sealed his mouth to yours with ferocity. When you separated, he was amused by the way your hands flapped around excitedly before finally resting on his cheeks. Then the appendages fluttered about excitedly over his features before coming to rest again on his face. You sucked in a deep breath as if to calm yourself and he shook his head with a grin.

“What is it Cyar’ika?” He chuckled, twisting his head to kiss your fingertips.

“I’m just so excited.” You squealed quietly, then timidly your fingers began to dance over his features. Small delicate hands tracing the definition of his eyes, his nose. Giggling at the faint tickle of hair on his upper lip. Your hands were most fascinated by his mouth, your grin growing wider every time his kiss would catch your wrists, or palms, or fingers. “Best gift ever. Oh I can just tell you’re so handsome!” You sighed contentedly, finally letting his face rest in your palm while your other hand softly stroked his cheek. You could feel his muscles flex under your hands as he smiled. It was a perfect moment, now he’s hoping this one will be too.

“What are you thinking about my love?”’you sigh, turning to fully wrap your arms around his neck.

“Come with me a minute. Leave the kid, he’ll be fine.” You sighed and carefully detangled yourself from Grogu’s grasp, and rolled into Din’s awaiting arms. He’s already put his helmet back on, and you smile, bumping your head against his Beskar helmet with a smile as he lifts you out of the bunk. He tried to set you back down and you grumble, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist.

“No!” You whine, “The floors are too cold.” Din chuckled and shook his head, rewrapping his arms under your legs.

“All that farming, that peace keeping, and work, and you’re still a Princess.” He chuckles.

“I’m no princess.” You scoff, biting the patch of uncovered skin at his shoulder.

“No, I suppose not, but would you want to be a queen?” You tensed up in his arms, then grasping his shoulders, you dropped down to one foot, then the other. Then your piercing gaze met his, and he swore you could see straight through his armor to his very soul. It was uncanny.

“What are you saying metal man?” Your voice was barely a whisper, but it echoed in his helmet, startling around his ribs causing him to shiver.

“What I’m saying, is I want you to marry me.” He whispers back, wrapping his arms firmly around your waist. There was a long pause then, and it was as if all the time you spent together flashed be fore his eyes.

Memories of you, caring so fondly for his foundling, holding him like his mother used to hold him. Watching fondly as you held the little green child close to your chest with all the care in the world, he never asked you to love him so deeply, it just seemed to pour from your every action. There were memories of you working so diligently on whatever task you set your mind to, solving problems he didn’t even know he had without batting an eye. He pictures you under the dash on the Razor crest, stripping and reworking the controls to be smoother so landings wouldn’t be so bumpy. Reworking the lighting in the hull to be a bit brighter so he wasn’t constantly straining his eyes to see through his dark visor. Polishing his Beskar and tweaking his vambraces to make sure everything ran smoothly. Even more memories flood to mind. Memories of nights holding you as he woke from nightmares of home, of the terrible things he’d done, of loosing this little family he’d come to love so dearly. Memories of the day you met, two bounty hunters against AT-STs, you dropping the bounty on his son immediately when you saw he was just a tiny green boy. You so easily forwent your life, and fit yourself like a puzzle piece into his. All he had done since meeting you, was ask you to make sacrifices, you’d sacrificed your peace on Naboo, your lucrative career as a bounty hunter (very lucrative as you often remind him), your reputation with the guild. Effectively, you sacrificed your safety for his Foundling. You didn’t have to do it, but you did. If the positions were reversed would he have done the same? He didn’t know, but that’s why he needed you. Every time he thought to give up, there you were pushing him to be a better man. A better Mandalorian. Who better to be queen than you?

“Of course I’ll marry you.” He drops to his knees and clutches at your middle, burying his head in your stomach.

“Thank you cyar’ika.” He sighs and all the tension drips away from his body like the leftover pools of a bad dream. “Thank you.”

“Of course! We’ll do it as soon as we get-“ you stop at his giggle and you give one of your own as he stands and presses his helmet to your head. “What is it?”

“We can get married right now.” He chuckles.

“What!?” You gasp, pulling your head back with both hands pressed to the sides of his helmet.

“Yeah, right now. We’re Mandalorians remember? Gotta go fast or you might die.” he chuckles.

“Ok!” You’re positively giddy, “what do we do?” Your eyes look at him with all the love a gaze could hold and he’s so happy.

“Repeats after me.” Vows spoken in a blur, your cheeks hurt from smiling.

"Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde."—translating as

"We are one when together, we are one when parted, we share all, we will raise warriors."

Once the Vows were spoken, you stood there, arm in arm, foreheads pressed together, basking in each others happiness.

“Really? That’s it?” You giggle excitedly, hands covering your mouth as if you’ve told him some sort of fantastic secret.

“Yeah! We’re as married as Mandalorians can get! Now that that’s done, here’s the best part.” You gasped as his hands swiftly removed his helmet, while yours flew to cover your eyes with a smack!

“Dank Farik Djarin, what are you-“ you started but he slowly pulled your hands from your eyes.

“Mesh’la were married, you can look now! It’s okay!” He chuckled and you opened your eyes.

“Oh Maker!” You sighed dreamily and he beamed. “Those big brown eyes, the hair, that smile? I’m literally the luckiest woman alive.” Then, you smashed your lips together unceremoniously. It was the best kiss of his life. You were even more beautiful without the barrier in the way, and now he could hold you, and kiss you, and be with you, no Beskar required. It was the happiest day of his life.

“Just wait till we tell the others.” You squealed and he laughed.

“Can’t wait Mesh’la , can’t wait till they find out you’re all mine.”

The next day his rag-tag group of advisors all gathered in the new capitol. They were all sitting around, drinking (those who removed their helmets or didn’t wear them that is) and telling stories.

“So I’ve decided that that grumpy little girl? Her face isn’t just like that. She’s a little Bantha that one.” You chuckled, telling them about a child you’d recently taken a liking to at the Covert. “This group of older kids who just got their helms right, they teased her that morning at Breakfast, and I told them to stop. They went swimming, and that little girl is as stubborn as a Mudhorn, and twice as crafty. While they were swimming, she and her little gang of kids not old enough to start training gathered all their helmets, and carried them off.” You chuckled and leaned further into the group, making sure that most of your body was still pressed against his. He loved when you were like this, so care free and happy, at peace with the little clan you had cobbled together. So comfortable with this little family you’d created. They all hang onto your every word, fondness was evident in their every feature. “I let them go to watch and see what happens, cause that little womp rat has spirit I tell yah! So, she takes all these helmets and plants flowers in every single one. Fills em up with dirt and plants, and leaves them all in a row outside the covert for the boys to find.” He laughs along with the rest at the tale, each of them surely thinking as he is, that perhaps his little family might have just found another addition in this little trouble maker. “So eventually, the older kids all get out and they go to find their shiny new helms all filled with dirt and flowers. So, someone naturally comes and gets Paz, and the Armorer and I. So we all stand there, trying not to laugh, and the armorer says; ‘What is the meaning of this, Twyla?’ And she just says; ‘Sorry ma’am, but I mistook these helmets for buckets, because who would ever give these empty headed Nerf Herders helmets anyway!’ Oh god, I thought I had busted a lung!” All around the room his little family spluttered and laughed and he’d never felt more content.

“Wow, I love that kid.” Bobba Fett chuckled. “So anything else new with you?” He asked casually, and you shot Din a side eyed glance. Welp, no time like the present.

“Nah, mostly just peace keeping and introductions.” He sighed, pulling you close. You nodded and curled into him, hiding your grin in his shoulder so as not to give it away. The others nodded and settled again, but before anyone moved on in the conversation, Din put his handto his Beskar covered chin, and snapped his fingers. “Oh, that’s a lie! There was something else about this trip, we got married!” There was a moment of silence about the room, and you couldn’t help but laugh, the look on all their faces was comical.

“No WAY!” Paz was the first to break and once the damn had broken, the joy in the room was palpable. There was celebrating to be done by all, and he was glad that it was you they were celebrating. You were officially his, and he wouldn’t trade you for the world.

[dsudis]

For the ask meme, how about P (Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).)

Ahhh man that is so much pressure! Inventing a whole new AU!

Okay, this is almost certainly not a new AU concept but! One I do not see enough of!

Your blorbos are a Gate Team out of Stargate Command. You get to decide which ones are military or civilians or aliens, what their specialties are, and which one keeps dying and being resurrected, and they go have weird hijinks on alien planets that all look pretty much like the outskirts of Vancouver, featuring populations of humans transplanted by ancient alien/gods!

So for instance if I was gonna do a Sandman Stargate AU

(I'm not!)

Hob is the anti-Dr. Jackson--he seems to die on a very regular basis but he's never actually dead. If you think he got killed on an alien planet you need to go back and look for him again because he will be there! Not at all dead!

Dream is some sort of civilian expert--an anthropologist specializing in common narratives and the way stories show relationships between societies--who somehow got recruited from the UK and displays a constant vague distaste for all the military everything and all the violence right up until the chips are really down and then he reveals himself to be terrifyingly badass actually

(he just dies the once.)

In season 3 it's revealed that Dream's younger brother was a mililtary member of a Gate team who disappeared under hushed-up circumstances and that's actually why Dream got himself into the program, to find out what happened to him--and it turns out he went AWOL voluntarily and is living very happily on an alien planet somewhere, but a lot of people get killed in the string of missions that lead to them finding that out, and he refuses to come back and relocates to a different planet as soon as they're gone so he can never be found again)

In the pilot episode Matthew's there as a military intelligence type guy on their gate team--the obligatory American to Hob and Dream and Jo's Brits--and then he gets killed but Dream figures out how to use a weird alien artifact to save him, except he gets transferred into an alien bird's body instead of it fixing his own body

Jo is British Army, from a long line of family members who have died in military service, usually doing something really weird and secret

her dad was on an early gate team, maybe even the first one--the one from the movie, that went to Abydos and fought Ra and thought that that was the only destination the gate could go to. He was killed there, and Jo wasn't told what really happened to him, but she knew it was something other than what they told her--and she was vindicated when she was recruited into the Stargate program by somebody who was with him on that last mission.

(Her dad was also an asshole, this is not like a touching vindication of him as a hero, he was a complete dick and a terrible dad and probably would have been an even worse one if he hadn't died, but that didn't mean Jo wasn't going to find out the truth and follow in his footsteps.)

Episodes 2-5 include a tragicomic subplot about Matthew's plight as a dead human and live alien bird and whether he's allowed to still be on the team or is just going to be a mascot in the SGC, and meanwhile a new charming blond American guy is temporarily assigned to Hob and Dream and Jo's team, and it's when Corin reveals he's an alien plant and tries to murder Dream that you first see Dream really turn on his badassery

after that they get young Lt. Rose Walker as their obligatory American for the rest of the series. Matthew is also on the team but they prefer to field four people who can all do stuff requiring thumbs.

See! Easy peasy! Go forth and write Stargate AUs for your favorite fandoms and characters!

Haha no I am not writing this what are you talking about

[loaksky]

How do you think lo’ak would react to someone insulting his mate? We saw how he reacted to the boys insulting Kiri, I can only imagine how much more protective he’d be over the person who loves him most ❤️ also ily your so talented so just please keep writing <3

i love YOU! more headcanons under the cut hehe

but could you imagine some of the boys and girls in the clan teasing you because you're really reserved and don't really take part in the stuff villagers your age do?

you stand on the edge of feasts, not really taking part in the song and dance because you're shy,

you don't really like taking part in hunting because you don't like hurting the creatures even if it's the natural order of life on pandora,

like you've completed your rite and all that, but you spend a lot of time on your own.

maybe you work with mo'at closely and spend a lot of time doing research in the forest and are especially close with nature and the cycle of life.

could definitely see that one of the first times lo'ak stumbles upon you, you're petting the cub of tapirus, singing it a song as it snoozes with its head in your lap.

could see you and lo'ak becoming close because he knows what it's like to be alone (crying bc i'm remembering when he was talking to payakan adsflasdlf).

learns that you're his polar opposite in disposition, but you two are also so similar and he sees who he wants to be in you.

could see him being kind of scared to let you know about his inevitably budding feelings because he thinks you're so sought after, but finds that you don't have many friends aside from kiri and a few other villagers.

and it's sad bc it's not like you don't want friends, if anything, you'd really like to share the depth of your love for the forest with villagers your age, but they think you're weird because you talk to plants and cry when animals are hurt.

i think that lo'ak wouldn't have really realized that they were making fun of you until you guys start spending more time together and he notices that there are times when you look a lil sad

when he tries prying, you give him the sweetest smile and tell him it's silly.

when he keeps pushing, you probably just hug him tight, cheek smooshed against his heart as you assure him that you're a big girl.

you keep it locked tight like a vault because you're not a very confrontational person, just avoid conflict and stay in your own corner of the forest.

it isn't until there's one day, still new to your established relationship, where he's lowkey trailing you and you don't even notice. you're cornered by a group of villagers who tug on one of your braids and step on your tail.

"gonna have a little party with your plant friends?" or something stupid like that.

maybe the girls are jealous because you're the center of the sully's attention?

like with neteyam, he's really sweet and i wouldn't really say attainable, but accessible? the girls think they could have a chance with him,

but with lo'ak, he's reckless and a free spirit and not really emotionally available to the girls.

and of course this is a thrilling idea to some of them, but when they notice that he's spending a lot of time around you, it makes them green.

there's definitely a certain point in time where things shift and you notice that people are probably acting a little differently towards you, kind of including you more & this makes you scratch your head because ???

you probably find out that lo'ak beat the shit out of one of the main guys that tease you and warned the others that if he hears even a whisper of them making you sad, he'll string them by their tails.

dude who makes fun of you kinda just stews, but relents because after all, lo'ak is the olo'eyktan's son.

you start making a few more friends after that, maybe start being more vocal about the forest and people start seeing why lo'ak caught feelings.

the girls can still be a little vicious though.

like maybe when you and lo'ak pass by, one of them says something super bitchy like "i wonder what spell she has the olo'eyktan's son under for him to be whipped over someone so plain."

you hear it, but pretend not to and lo'ak's watching your reaction closely.

probably stops in his tracks and turns on the group of giggling girls, his shadow looming over their circle shutting them right up.

"watch what you say about my girl."

MY GIRL ADSFJAHSDJKFAS

you definitely can't keep the smile from growing on your face as lo'ak rejoins you a few feet away, fingers curling through yours and tail swishing.

in conclusion, you're his sweet girl and lo'ak's your super in love bf and i am SAD.

[doublerainbow-if]

How would the RO’s react if somebody said that they and the MC make a cute couple during crushing stage?

M is trying to a keep a straight face but they hold you closer to them. This stranger has no idea how happy they are from those simple words. Though they try to play off their gesture as unintentional as while they are happy, they don't know if you feel the same way. But you will notice the softness in their eyes for the rest of the day, calling for more affection from you than normal and staying close to you. Ending with them snuggle against you during a impromptu sleepover, wanting to pretend just for little longer.

L are nervously chuckling as they move away from you, quickly setting the record straight with the stranger. They keep avoiding your eyeline for the rest of your hang out, weirdly being mindful of single gesture and move they make with you. You can see how tense they are but have no clue why. L fails in their quest to mask how shot their nerves are since they know that you know that they're being weird. Why did that stranger have to say that? They already struggle with hiding their feelings for you but somehow managed to get notice from a random person.

B has dopey smile on their face, completely ignoring the world and people around them. You can feel their hand subconsciously grab yours in a firm grip, keeping your fingers interlocking. Before their mind can fully catch up to the implications, they thank the stranger and making sure to keep your hands interconnected as the two of you leave. You can see a blissful smile on their face before it quickly shifted to a full blush, their eyes wide in astonishment as they quickly let go fo your hand. Apologies fall from their lips for their actions.

J quickly shuts down the stranger's line of thinking, leading you away from the area with their hand on the small of your back. They know this makes that statement more believable with how gentle they handle you and the unmistakable love people can see in their eyes, but they are not ready for such a relationship. They know that your presence somehow makes them calmer and agitated at the same time, a push and pull of a love that they never experienced before. However, they need get their past sorted out of they want a future with you.

V is honestly stock still at the declaration, the normally vocal person now stun into silence. You can see something is being work over inside their mind but not sure what exactly. V is currently debating on how they should react. Between diving straight into the stranger's perception and show you how much a great partner they are, or keep their feelings hidden longer by using snark and disdain, that wasn't really true, towards this whole situation. Are they even allow to want happiness again after their horrid actions?

C is so smug that it drips from their smile and half lidded eyes as they pull you firmly against them. A lazy smirk is on their face when they plant a kiss on your cheek that seem to last for too long, almost like a brand to prove the stranger right. Their hands grip you tightly, making sure you stray from them as they lead you from the person. You can feel the annoyance for their insincere flirts rising up before you see the desire in their eyes. C won't mask how much they want you right now as they lean in again for a kiss.

Avery is stumbling for words as the implications hit them full force. They try to explain the situation between the two of you while getting away from the stranger's vicinity, a harsh blush seen across their cheeks. You can show much their body is trembling as the two of you find a place to be alone, their hands shaking against their sides as they choke for words. You can see how they want apologize for the misunderstanding despite the anxiety attack they're experiencing. They calm down though by your soothing words and touches.

Kahula is so freaking happy that it radiates from their body like a flood. There is almost a glow of satisfaction surrounding as they hold you from behind, their forehead against your shoulder in pure bliss. You can feel their smile against you as their hands flex around your stomach, so much want inside their body that they can't take it. They want to do something impulsive right now, to lay a kiss on your neck, shoulder, cheek or really anywhere to show you how much they love you. They will confess their love if show any of sign of wanting them as well.