#like when you call your teacher mom
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TINA SLIPPING UP AND CALLING BBH DAD
#the second hand embarrassment is real#i felt this one in my soul#like when you call your teacher mom#qsmp#qsmp liveblogging#qsmp tina#tinakitten#qsmp badboyhalo#badboyhalo#qsmp clips#flower of the day
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okay but sarah celebrating tommy every year for motherâs day
#who needs a mommy when you got a tommy#the first time shes does this its preschool teacher mariaâs idea#shes four and mothers day is coming up and its usually a hard time for her so joel lets maria know just in case she has any behavioral issue#miss maria is like đ«Ą i gotchu#she makes sure to emphasize to the kids that families are all different#they spend every day of may leading up to mother day reading books exploring diversity in families and talking about what mom really means#that it doesnt have to be the person who had you in their tummy or a girl or even a person we call mom#for example miss mariaâs real mommy wasnt so nice growing up so miss marias TRUE mommy is just her daddy and her auntie rose#because those are the people that loved her no matter what and kept her safe and taken care of and fed#thats all mom is#it just means someone thats there for you every day and loves you and cares for you#someone who is one of your favorite people and who would say the same about you#all the kids go around and say who they think are their moms#mosy say some iteration of âmommyâ and âmamaâ or âgrammyâ#but then baby ellie says âtess and auntie marleneâ#and baby sarah says âuncle thommyâ#one of the other littles says âdaddy and miss mariaâ đ#and they all make heart cards for their mommy firgures#they cant write or really read anything but a few letters yet#(even though hyperlexic baby sarah does have pretty incredible letter recognition for her age)#so they tell miss maria what to write on their cards and then decorate with oil pastels#sarahâs says dear uncle tommy thank you for being my mommy you are so funny and i love when we play horsey and princesses. happy mommy day#when he picks her up at the end of the day shes like HI MOMMMMM all giggly and hes like ????? hi???? whats this???? OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT#and when he does and read it he literally drops to his knees to hug her and cry#because theres really nothing more precious than his little angel his baby his best girl#thats tommys DAUGHTER DO YALL UNDERSTAND??????#miss maria watching them from the cubbies like: godDAMN theyre so cute#the next day tommy brings her a oat milk chai from her favorite coffee shop as a thank you because it meant a lot to him and shes like ????#how did u know???? and hes like my brother and you ran into each other there last week yeah? he told me abt it i asked for your order#and shes like đ„čđ„°đ« thanks
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*Walks in* *Does a twirl and gives you this*
Chris probably accidentally called Martin dad once or twice and has not lived it down since
*Twirls away*
*halts you in your tracks* *Does a twirl and gives you THIS*
A 5 + 1 fanfiction idea: 5 times Chris Kratt called Martin "dad" in an annoyed, insulting way and the 1 time he said it on complete accident in a genuine way.
*Twirls away*
#You know like when Chris is doing something stupid âfor scienceâ tm and Martin is like Chris don't fucking do that#Chris: âok DADâ#annoyed af that he can't risk his safety for the sake of possibly discovering a new species#and then the one time he said it on complete accident but in an affectionate scenario way#and is IMMEDIATELY embarrassed#like just flops over onto the nearest surface begging for death-embarrassed#And Martin is OVER THE MOON#It's like that moment when you accidentally call your favorite teacher mom and you want to die#Martin will never let it go#wild kratts#chris kratt#martin kratt#kratt brothers#asks
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okay but seriously how many times has chase accidentally called house âdadâ
#it's like when you call your teacher mom but a million times more embarrassing because#house won't stop MOCKING him#they had to cut every time it happened in the show because otherwise the show would've been#ten times longer#chase's only solace is that he can mock house right back because they all know that#house calls wilson 'daddy'
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a thing that irks me about wgxn as lsz's Best Parents Ever and lsz himself calling them his fathers iiiis that aren't... parents and basically ancestors... kinda important in chinese culture? yknow, like *gestures at some of the characters' complicated relationships w/ their parents, their legacy and last wishes*? lsz discovers he's a wen and doesn't immediately go "ah well, doesn't matter, they were Problematic and i feel more like a lan anyway", but rather goes to the nighless city with wn to bury the ashes of their family and build a cenotaph for wq. that means he still wants to honor his ancestry, especially since he's the last surviving member of his clan. would lsz just... conveniently forget about all that -- about his parents, whoever they were, who died in the war -- for lwj? hm
#there was a post or perhaps a thread or maybe even more than one#about how the juniors would SURELY mistakenly refer to their sect leaders as mom/dad and i was like. g#i think kids call teachers 'mom' because they're still young and don't have much contact with adults that aren't parents/their family#members. so when you want to call an adult and your brain malfunctions you either go mom or dad (so: the usual)#but if you're a disciple of a sect you have a Bunch of older people around you each of which has their own name -- sect siblings#teachers etc not to mention other sects' members -- so i feel like it would be much more difficult to make that mistake#especially since i'm not quite sure disciples at that age would see the sect leader a lot unless he's personally teaching them#but ig that doesn't happen very often if he's busy with other things. there are other disciples and elders who can pass their knowledge dow#idk it just seems kinda... western? american? i can't say. to assume an adult who's important has to be a parent/parental figure which is#ALMOST the same as parent really! and can be referred to as 'dad'/'mom'#like. no! not really! a 'teacher' is not just your ms smith who taught you english and always praised your handwriting!#it can very much be the person who pushed you to become the person you are right now because they saw your potential#and without them you wouldn't be where you are. this kinda person you send gifts and cards every year for decades after graduation#because you're this thankful for everything they've done for you.#shrimp thoughts#this is not to say that he doesn't feel grateful for everything lwj's done for him -- he saved his life -- but that still doesn't have to#equate to Being his father. wzl didn't call wrh his father either and look how dedicated he was
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the background for this and also how i am enjoying this where like soooo many ppl i am friends with would call it blasphemy is like. several of my family members were taken away by cults once. some of them came back and some of them i literally have not had a conversation with my entire life bc they left when i was a fucking infant?? but bc of that we were raised with a VERY different worldview than anyone else in my church communities. organized religion, going to church every sunday, sticking to every single rule of the Bible etc etc is STUPID both because 1. cults lmao and 2. that's.......... that's not what christianity is about? that's not what christianity has ever supposed to have been about? that was literally the philistines' way? the kind that Jesus criticized?? so it's like YES the church is like that, and my family is fairly unique in my circle (MY BROTHER got called a cult leader for criticizing organized church?????? lmao?????). yes there are so many churches that call like every single thing a sin and say that the rules are what makes you Good and Saved and whatever but like. it's not christianity. that's what got me going like this isn't anti christ actually it's just about how The Church is fucking stupid
YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOM AND TOTALLY IN A GOOD WAY. LIKE. YEAH.
bruh but people using christianity to form opinions abt the world is just. so disgusting and. just ugh. i think really fr ruined it for me. and honestly i would feel weird going back at this point bc?? i dont really believe in A God Who Made Everything? and id feel like a fraud.
NO BC RIP I ASKED MY GRANDMA ONCE ABT A CHRISTIAN NURSING HOME AND SHE. âjesus loves everyoneâ
OH MY GOD WAIT SPEAKING OF HER AND CHRISTIANITY. she rlly wanted my family to visit her and my grandpa because they are alone in a big house and christmas is depressing as fuck for her for so many reasons. ANYWAY. she was on the phone w my mom and just asking over and over for us to come and my mom kept saying no we canât i wish we could but we have other plans (plus, secretly going there is hell for everyone). so after like. FIVE repetitions of this. my grandma is like âokay okay fine. but weâll see if god intervenesâ
my mom told me all of this and i just BURST out laughing that is something you hear abt from like. hyper-christian-harry-potter-is-satanic people
#but YEAH#i like cant form real words but i feel like i have had conversations like this w my mom#as me an athiest/whatever the fuck the one is where im like âhm maybeâ and her a casual christian#AGNOSTIC#but yeah im like âhow can you?? this makes no sense to meâ#and she just. yeah itâs more than just. âgod is your shepardâ itâs!! finding meaning in things!!#(something i am also learning in world myth lol)#(my teacher calls himself a reformed catholic lol)#uugh i need to talk w her abt this again bc i want to#i LOVE having deep discussions w my mom plus also everyone#but there is something so special when i start talking to my mom and then bam itâs two hours later and for some reason weâre both crying#(one of us ends up trauma dumping or mutually rip)#ask#soryasongsaa#pen and ink
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#no because my parents have always been so weird to me from a medical standpoint#or abusive? neglectful. I don't know what i could possibly call this but#my Nystagmus. barely doing any research WHEN THEY ARE DOCTORS it's not like they don't know how to look stuff up#barely giving me any information on it. which crashed badly a few years ago when the dude at one of those glasses shops got scared by not#being able to give me full vision which promoted my parents into bullying me about possibly going blind and trying to twist it into being#my phone's usage fault. when low and behold! we go to an actual doctor. my vision didn't increase or decrease much and she says that#Nystagmus cannot be 20/20 THEN MY MOM STILL TRIES TO PROVE IT'S THE PHONE'S FAULT#also how they treated my Lyme Disease when i was little but I'm not. talking about that publicly.#and the fact that they were completely obsessed with the idea that I'd have a speech impediment back in the day#which was probably caused by the fact my sibling was Learns Very Early How To Talk And Does It Really Well flavour of autistic and I was#Barely Talks Very Late And Badly flavour of autistic#which meant they would force speech classes down my throat and when the teachers would go 'Nothing actually wrong with this kid' they'd#send me somewhere else#also the constant 'If you don't learn to talk correctly everybody will think you're stupid and they won't talk to you' which ok. ableist.#anyway the 'speech impediment' was your average 4 y o cannot pronounce r which i got over and they were still turning my life into hell#over it years down the line which meant i was in middle school convinced i had a speech impediment which at that point#WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEALTH ISSUE BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT DO WE MOM/DAD#and i realised I don't only because my best friend went 'girl tf no you don't'#that is without to mention my father tried to ask me if i wanted surgery for my (inexistent) speech problem because he heard it fixed#someone else's kid problem#also in middle school i had some blood tests and they supposedly came back saying I'm anemic + i had strep but they didn't do anything#about that and at most blamed my anemia on my period which. i should probably get myself some bloodtests as an adult lol#then there is the one time they forced me to go to school with a mcfucking fever lol lmao#oh and also i would try to talk to them about these weird head tremors/seizures i have and they once again tried to blame it on my phone#only for my mom to see me having one recently and go 'oh yea lol i have them too it's normal' yes thank you /s#and they generally don't listen to me trying to sound the alarm about possible health issues i have unless my brother points them out...#aaaaand there is the entire shitshow they did to me when i was diagnosed with depression and put on pills#at least they are currently nicer about me saying i have autism but they didn't take me seriously at first neither...#egg.txt#vent
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I am once again sad that a person I bonded with in a dream is not real
#ALEX. where are you and who are youuuu#okay so the dream was crazy. like.. coherent by my usual standards but still ridiculous#i was back at high school but was the age i am now & i was attending a class in âbusiness and employmentâ which was supposed to help us all#get jobs and learn skills. but in reality the vast majority of the people in the class (including myself) were in mlm schemes#(multi-level marketing before anyone gets confused with the acronym)#myself and the entirety of my high school friend group (about 8 or 9 people) formed the largest faction and we were selling fragrances#for exactly the sort of company you would expect. anyway. iâd been elected manager even though someone else in the group (who actually sells#this shit irl lol) had recruited me & another personâs mom had invested money into it so that none of us had to actually buy inventory#and i was so uncomfortable and ashamed. i was like âokay iâll just do this for a month and then bounce so i can at least get work/management#experienceâ. so i was very much checked out when everyone was brainstorming ideas for how to come up with a brand & sell it#the only thing i did notice is that there was this guy named alex who was pretty much reporting us whenever we breathed. an example would be#we wanted to call ourselves âlionsâ but apparently that was the name of an lgbt society in the area that was important to him#so he complained to the teacher/facilitator about us and we couldnât use lions. and our whole group was complaining about him#but i was thinking âfuck i hope he gets us shut downâ. he seemed like a nice guy and the stuff people started saying was borderline#homophobic so i had to be the one to shut them down like âhey iâm bi as well and iâm your fucking manager. any more of that and you can find#yourself a new jobâ#so anyway. next thing that happened was the facilitator was like âokay we seem to have pretty much been taken over by mlm schemes BUT here#is a list of people in the class who do not want to be recruited & their reasoning. just so you can take noteâ and she does a presentation#of course it starts with alex and his ideological opposition to mlms; but there are other people like a girl who has a large academic#workload. but it becomes apparent that alex is the one who rallied them all together to spread dissent. so i went over to talk to him#(for some reason he was now hiding in a tent) and i was like âyes alex!!!! can i shake your hand?â and he was puzzled but he let me#then i stood up and said âcan i just say something. everyone has great reasons for not wanting to be recruited and as a manager; i want to#say that if i catch any of my employees trying to recruit anyone on the do not recruit list for any reason; you will be fired immediatelyâ#of course this causes a schism. but it also causes me and alex to end up having a heart-to-heart where heâs like âwhy are you even part of#one of these thingsâ and iâm like âhonestly i just want legitimate work experienceâ and heâs like âi can think of so many more legitimate#jobs. including like. fly-tipping. iâd rather have that on my cv than scentsyâ and i was like âyouâre so rightâ#and then i woke up thinking âgod iâm going to have to go door to door selling this shitâ but then i realised i actually didnât#and i was so happy#it has motivated me to go back to job-hunting though because my god.#that five minutes when i thought i was going to have to traverse the neighbourhood dressed like an idiot and selling wax melts? bleak.
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Don't know why, how or when but I woke up on the floor this morning and my first thought "if I hit my head wouldn't THAT be funny" but my pupils are good and reactive so it's all good đâđ»
#i THINK i may have passed out but honestly dont remember shit like how did i got here#sometimes i just randomly fall asleep because *gestures vaguely* anemia is a bitch ig but this was New#when i was 16 a girl hit me in the head with a volleyball and the hit was so strong it deviated my nose forever and i brushed it off until#ten minutes later a friend looked at me said âare you feeling okay?â and i was âhuh im a lil dizzy why?â and she frowned apprehensively#and she went like âyour eyes are completely blackâ and called the teacher and turns out i had a closed head injuryđ and the nun gave#âšherbal teaâš because in latinoamerica we believe if you cut off your arm it Can be fixed by drinking chamomile âšteaâš#anyway no one ever called the doctor and then i felt like shit but never told my mom till the next day and she kicked me in the Ass#maybe ive been bleeding since that time and thats the reason why im *gestures VAGUELY again* like this but at least im FUNNY#and i learned how to recieve a serve so oikawa can come and hit me with his triple homo spin serve and i would take it
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still don't understand why my elementary teachers were so obsessed with having a perfect neat and organized notebook
#like one time the one that hated me tore out a page of my notebook? idk what to call them) bc I wrote the things out of order and another#section was supposed to go before the graph I made. and looking back: ????? what? why is it so important ???? I don't. I don't understand#especially bc right after that school they kept caring less and less about what and how I wrote in my notes#and nobody at all cares in highschool (except my art teacher but he was a strange man all on its own)#back to the post. 8yo me when they glue the printed sheet of paper on the wrong side of the page. it's so over#what's the issue I really don't understand#oh! and another time in the mid school (ahah) i glued the math graph on millimetric paper folded so it only took up 1/3 of the page#and the prof (that was normal except this time) looked at it and went ohh why did you do that. your mom doesn't have enough money to buy#notebooks? blink blink what the fuck man. that's rude mean and you're an asshole. and 2. I can do whatever I want forever#I don't even remember what that graph was but I remember you being shit years later isn't that fun#what if I prefer not having to turn 200 pages to find the one bc I'm skipping all the full page graphs? what if#maybe I do like using my notebook to write things in and not only glue stuff to it#maybe you're being rude and mean for no reason as this doesn't matter at all#persecuted once more for my folding paper tendencies đ
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Even the most weird catholic girl can learn to side eye and be weirded out by someone saying a guy's dead name, and that gives me hope
#just remembered a girl from my high school#she genuinely argued with out physics teacher that he couldn't teach certain stuff because it was the way god intended#so very intense deeply catholic girl#but also when I was talking to my mermaid's mom (who didnt know my other friend (lets call him fern) was trans) and I used his dead name#she went 'who?' and looked at us like I had made someone up#when I looked at her wide eyed she got it but it made me laugh so much afterwards#and she knew fern before he transitioned! everyone did Im pretty sure#(also shout out to the lesbian baker from that class I hope you and your girlfriend are still going strong)
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I know this is the upper end of school lunches even by japan's standard but man... I wish most school districts everywhere were like this.
Like yeah it takes a lot of hands on employees but that's not a bad thing. Think about the way this slots into a community ecosystem.
Feeding kids right is so important, so we want to feed them good food.
Getting that food from local farms is not only sustainable, but cost effective and creates agriculture jobs in the local economy (tho I understand not everywhere can do this part, not every school district is gonna have nearby farms).
The kitchen where the food is made creates more local jobs, paying directly back into the community, and those jobs are available to the lowest skill workers who need a good job with consistent hours the most. And food service workers in particular, who are subjected to insane hours, unpredictable schedules, and low pay as is standard in the industry really would benefit from this kind of setup.
Heck, on top of all that, you see in this district that plenty of parents work these jobs, making food for their own kids. When you feel like your work is meaningful, when you're directly doing something for your community and seeing the benefits yourself, it makes the job so much more rewarding. It encourages employees to feel more invested, to care about doing a good job, and less turnover rate because of that satisfaction.
Like I wanna say that I wish the whole world cared this much about keeping kids well fed, but it's so much more. A model like this is just better for society as a whole, and even if you're really focused on the pure economics, having more people with more disposable income means more money moving through the economy, and the future economic benefits of a generation of healthier kids is self evident.
I just don't understand why society ever decided to disconnect our work from our communities, or why we decided to eschew the long term benefits and increased wealth as a society in favor of saving a little money right now.
I know it's silly to think all this from a little video about this district's lunches, but I guess there's just no reason why we can't all work to have something a little closer to this.
#It also made me think about how rare jobs where you feel valuable to your community are#And how many of us have to leave fulfilling bad jobs#How we have to get bullshit jobs just to afford to get by#The only fulfilling job I ever had was as a daycare worker and preschool teacher#The pay was awful and management sucked#They kept on enrolling high support needs kids despite none of us having training or qualifications for sped#But at the end of the day I loved my work#I loved working with those kids and helping them learn#Encouraging their curiosity and watching them be creative#I became a safe person for the kids that struggled to make friends like I did when I was young#I quit suddenly and in a huff due to management pulling some bullshit#But I still cried after I left because I knew I would miss those kids#I got a much better job with benefits and consistent hours#At a miserable call center helping entitled assholes with their stupid iphones#I never would have been able to get away from my abuser without that job#But fuck man#I hate that having a job with meaning means you can't afford to live#All my coworkers at the daycare were moms that wanted to work or wanted the free childcare the job offered as it's sole benefit#They all had husbands working âreal jobsâ and actually paying the bills#And of course they did#We made 9 dollars an hour#Youtube
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So my sister walked up to me and spit in my face last night when my mom came to visit our apartment so my mom had to kick her out until it's time for her to go back to school on Monday đ
#shes somewhat okay until my mom comes to visit and then she tries to start a fight always#I love her very much but she has so much growing up to do#and yeah im spiraling its all good đ#and I know shes just stressed with school and work but if i did that when I was her age I would not have lived so#I really thought the cops were gonna get called on us#and we were like what made you do that? and shes like I dont know I honestly just wasnt thinking#ok well if you dont spit on your coworkers and teachers then you can refrain from spitting on me please and thanks#we were just talking about coffee and work and she just walked right up and got me đ« #I feel like an idiot#when shes in a good mood everything is fine but if shes not then I need to watch out#please let this year go by fast so I can get another roommate đ#and its not even really kicking her out because she has work on the weekends but immediately my mom was like#the cops are gonna get called because your sister is acting a fool and wont stop and we need to leave asap
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totally (not) beating the allegations
best friend!takuma ino headcanons
contains... best friends to lovers, mutual pining, casual confession of love, kisses (platonic), kisses (romantic), modern au, high school to university au, living together-ish, fem intended reader, pet names (baby, babe, love, sexy, handsome, beautiful, sweetie, the list goes on and on), lots of physical touch, nicknames (you call takuma, kuma.), reader has a mother and a father, y'all are basically dating just without the label...
word count: 2.3k (this wasn't supposed to be long. i told myself 0.8k maximum...)
riea's comments: all sixteen people living in takuma city RISE UP! i miss my husband of 35 years so much, come back to me loml :(( something to munch on while y'all wait for the next full throttle chapter. also not too much on me if this is a drabble and not hcs idk the difference :))
first off... i just wanna say that i KNOW I KNOW that ino is one of the funniest people in the jjk cast idc idc!!! if he had more screentime (and if the situation wasnt dire) my boy would be crackin some jokes!!!!
you've been friends with takuma for around 7 years, your first meeting happening in tenth grade, when your teacher paired you two up for an interview project. when time came to actually record the interviews, it was hard to edit out you two laughing uncontrollably every fifteen seconds or so
i mean, you two just had so much in common!!! same favorite color, same favorite franchise, same favorite tv show, same favorite video game; it was like yall were the same person. there was just one thing you both disagreed on: whether hex code #286061 was blue or green
your argument ended up being the last ten minutes of the final video you submitted...
without a doubt, after that, you two became inseparable. in school, people would take notice of your closeness. when one of you were absent, teachers would jokingly ask "where's the other one?"
there was not a single thing you didn't do together, homework, go to the gym, gossip, eavesdrop, etc etc. so of course, you ended up applying to the same universities and when it came time for college acceptance season...
takuma invited you over, forcing you to bring your mailed letters from the eight universities. sprawling out over his lap, you took in the all too familiar sight of his room. you've been in his room more times than you've been in your own (and vice versa!)
i mean ino's been over to your place so many times that he calls your parents mom and dad. and you've been over to his house so much that takuma's mom practically jumped for joy every time you burst through the front doors with a "guess who's home!!!" so it was completely normal that you guys knew the ins and outs of each other's rooms, right?
"kuma, baby," you started with a sigh, reveling in your best friend's repetitive motions. running his hand through your hair, ino looked down at you, eyes showing that he was listening. "i'm scared, what if we don'tâ"
"ah-ah-ah! no negativity here!" he cut you off, pushing you off his lap and grabbing the letters you left on his desk. "listen here beautiful," takuma says, bringing a hand to your cheek, his heart swelling when you subconsciously leaned into it, "we're gonna take each other's letters, and open them," he handed you a white envelope, the logo of both of yours dream university on it, "starting with, kyĆmei."
taking a well needed deep breath, you nodded. "okay," you and ino began to open the envelopes at the same time, only looking at each other when you saw the status. "accepted or rejected in 3...2...1..."
"ACCEPTED"
"ACCEPTED"
cue the mandatory silence before the screaming. "holy shit. you got in." "you got in." "WE GOT IN!!! WE'RE GOING TO KYĆMEI!!!!" you two practically flew off the bed, jumping up and down in celebration. peppering his face in kisses, you nuzzled your face into takuma's neck. "i'm so proud of us! i mean, kyĆmei," you pulled away from his neck, shaking his shoulders harshly, "the kyĆmei?!!!"
anyways, soon enough, you both realized that you'd have to move away, resulting in a seven hour search for apartments near the university's campus. and just as takuma was about to give up, you found a listing for units 19A and 19B, right in the heart of the city and just a five minute walk from kyĆmei
and with that, it was moving day, well, days is more like it considering that the whole process took like ten days... finding cute furniture is really hard! and moving all of it is even harder!! and don't even get me started on the appliances! although, you and takuma found a way around it
like what do both of you need a microwave for? and there isn't a reason to have two dishwashers, there wasn't even a reason to have one! y'all kept your fridges though... who was gonna be banging on the other's door in the middle of the night for some cold water??
with time, it came for the highly anticipated freshman formal, an welcome event hosted by kyĆmei itself, and of course, you had to go. so here you were, staring at your figure in the mirror as your best friend's large hand rubbed your shoulder, the other zipping up your black dress. "all done!" he breathed, taking a step away so that you could see for yourself. "i look so cute~" you giggled, hearing the clack of your heels as you twirled. "you do!" he paused, looking you up and down, "when did you get that dress?"
"your mom gave it to me a couple days ago! where'd you get that tux? i don't think i've seen it before," you walked over and straightened takuma's suit, as he laughed in response, "your mom gave it to me..."
"this was planned."
"this was definitely planned."
"we should send a picture in the family group chat!"
"we should!!! but, hair first!"
notice how i said family group chat, singular, not plural. and that's because there's a gc for both of your families! it's name was a mix between "ino" and your last name, since, in all seriousness, your families were close
so here you were, sitting pretty on takuma's lap as you focused on straightening the front pieces of his hair, because that's what best friends do!
"okayyyy sexyyyy," you squealed, moving out of the way so that takuma could see himself in your vanity mirror, "damnn, i look hot!" he smiled as he checked himself out, his hand firmly on your waist (to make sure that you wouldn't fall, of course!). "i knew i was fine but, did i always look this fine?" he asked, looking up at you with his big dark brown eyes, a playful smirk evident on his face. "yes, takuma. you're the sexiest man ever. just a bit of eyeliner on you and we'll be on our way, okay?"
turning back to your station, you grabbed some brown and black pencils before starting to lightly draw over ino's outer eye corner, "do men as sexy as me really need eyeliner?" a look from you was all he needed to know to shut up and close his eyes
and oh, how he loved being so close to you. not just emotionally but physically as well. like, not every duo can say that they barge into the other's apartment to steal snacks! and speaking of snacks... let me just say, there's a whole cabinet in his kitchen reserved for your favorite foods and! he keeps your favorite ice cream flavor stocked in his freezer
you, on the other hand, have a little space where you hide takuma's favorite anything. chips, gummies, takeout menus, you name it, you have it. because your best friend is oh-so-optimistic, it can be harder for him when he's just not having the best of days. which is why when you go your (not so) separate ways at the end of the day, you pack up a basket for him. ribbons in his favorite color, his top 15 favorite snacks from that one time y'all bought one of everything in a nearby convenience store and ranked them, takeout on the way, horror flicks he's been wanting on dvd because he said "its cooler that way", and a handwritten letter from you, for my kuma, scribbled on the envelope
dropping off the basket at his door and retreating back to your place, you'd press your ear against the wall separating your units, physically feeling your heart break when you heard sniffles. that was all you needed to practically fly over to his, a few boxes of tissues in hand. because that's what best friends do!
and don't even get me started on how many belongings y'all have at the other's place... like that one time takuma walked into your apartment announcing his presence, only to be met with silence. let me set up the scene for you. you are taking a relaxing shower when you hear a knock on the door followed by four more and then three more. "come in!" you called out, unbeknownst to you, ino's voice was closer than you thought
"already in here..., anyways. is my shampoo in there?"
"the one with the purple cap?"
"yeah, thanks babe!"
"wait, can you get me my towel?"
or that time when you causally opened the door to his unit (because it was basically yours too) and greeted him with a simple pat on his head before skipping off to find those jeans you thrifted
slight cohabitation aside, the university life was definitely... something. it was clear and obvious that you two were close, a blind man could see it. but close is a really really really vague word, and it's surely not the word that describes the way the two of you act. in this friendship, terms of endearment drop like rain from clouds. every. other. sentence. contains a "babe" or "baby" or "sweetheart" or "darling" WE GET IT OKAY...
and it seems like if y'all go a single day without touching each other, a bomb will fall from the sky and earth would blow up. his hands are constantly on you, his favorite places (when in public) being your shoulders and arms, and when at home it was without a doubt your waist and thighs. just imagine how difficult it must be for people speak to you both on campus when his arm is slung around you and your hand is holding onto his side. the rumors practically created themselves....
and when i say people were shocked, i mean they were SHOCKED when y'all were like "haha, no, we're not dating!!! we're best friends!" everyone was thinking: yeah best friends who FUCK. best friends who are IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. y'all became the campus' it couple without being a couple. how does that happen??!??
however... there were a couple of people who were particularly excited to hear that you both were single. a few girls approached you one day while in the general area, asking if it was true that you and ino weren't dating. "we aren't... why?" one of the girls shifted on her feet, clearly nervous. "well... could you um... give this to him for me?!" she bowed, presenting a pretty pink envelope. you froze, staring at the item before giggling. "i see what this is about! don't worry! i'll make sure this gets to him safely!" long story short, that letter was never delivered
and on ino's side, he had some classmates pestering him about you. asking for your favorite show, candy, date style, everything under the sun. "guys, guys! she doesn't even want a boyfriend right now!" takuma shouted, even though two days prior you were complaining about how spending too much time with him was scaring all the hotties away
but let's get into the real stuff... the realization of love
for takuma, there wasn't a "wow, i'm in love with her" moment. what he does know though is that he started feeling something different for you a few months before college admission season. to him, the world was always bright with you by his side but now... it was so much brighter. it was like looking directly into the sun; it hurt but he couldn't look away, he doesn't want to look away. you're the best thing to ever happen to him, and the mere thought of ruining what you have just for some feelingâno matter how intenseâisn't... right to him
and you figured it out after a dream you had one night back in high school. you dreamt of being in takuma's arms, the ones you snuck glances at when he wasn't paying attention to you. in not dream world, all you had to do was ask and he'd gladly envelop you but the vibes in this dream were different. there was tension. and it was thick. his beanie was off and thrown somewhere on the bed, your bed. looking back at him, your breath caught in your throat, "hey pretty," he slurred, drunk off tiredness. ino's called you beautiful more times than you can count; he made sure to do it at least once a week, so why... just why did this time make your stomach heat up and your heart race? you woke up with a flushed face, queasy feeling in your gut, and a deep understanding. it wasn't just platonic love anymore
"hey," you started, eyes trained on the movie in front of you, but your mind was focused on something else, "y'know how everyone thinks we're dating?" ino nodded as you reached over to grab the bowl of popcorn. "i've been thinking... maybe they're onto something..."
takuma's gulp could be heard from miles away, "wh-what are you trying to say?"
"what are we? seriously. because i can't sit here and pretend like i don't wish we were something more."
"something more like...?"
"now's not the time to be oblivious! don't you get it?! i'mâ"
"i'm in love with you,"
it was like time stood still as you looked at your best friend. his face was lit by the tv screen a couple feet away, his hair was a mess, and slightly prominent dark circles were under his eyes, but... he's never looked more beautiful to you. "have been. for a long time. we've basically been dating for like four years already. four more and then we'll get married?" he flashed his signature smile
"oh, shut up," he brought your face millimeters away from his, whispering "make me." before kissing you deeply, not on your cheek, or your forehead, or your shoulders, but on your lips this time. and all the times after that too
because that's what best friends lovers do, right?
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#â â rieamena writes!#rieamena#riea#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk ino#ino x reader#ino x black reader#jjk x black reader#ino fluff#ino takuma#takuma ino#takuma ino x reader#takuma ino x black reader#ino x you#takuma ino fluff#ino hcs#ino takuma x reader#ino smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu ino#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujusu kaisen x black reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen ino#jjk ino takuma#jjk ino x reader#ino takuma fluff#ino takuma jjk#sorry this took a bit ijbol i had the idea from so long
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ââËïœĄâ SHE'S BACK!
GUESS HE COULDN'T KEEP IT IN, SO HE HAD TO KEEP IT INSIDE! âËâč⥠dilf!gojo satoru x teacher!reader
tags: smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, exhibitionism, getting caught, he fucks you while he's on the phone, overstimulation, dumbfication, fluff, gojo has an ex-wife, yuuji is gojo's son, age-gap.
A/N: well, this was surely and adventure and maybe self-indulgent title because guess what?, i'm back baby.
It was a nice morning, he felt clean. Like his life was finally steadying. Even after some stressful weeks trying to get rid of his now ex-wife, he won the trial and kept Yuuji. Poor little boy, just turning 5 years old and heâs already facing all this type of stress. But thankfully he will not be experiencing enduring his crazy mother behavior. Which basically was a gold digger, and a bitchâ Not that he would ever say that outloud, maybe with other words? Bastard? Witch? Not that it really matters right now.
He could finally take a break now, just focusing on raising his little boy, and being an old boring 31 year old dad. Life doesnât sound that bad.
âDaddy! Daddy!,â His son went running to his arms, almost stumbling by himself- clear happiness shown on his face. Quickly, Gojo opened his arms ready to lift the young kid. âMiss Y/N congratulated me on my homework! She was pretty amazed!â
Your name wasnât unknown to him, Yuuji was very open when talking about his favorite teacher, even though he hasnât seen you yet- from what heâs been told youâre the kidâs favorite, including Yuujiâs. âI had to talk about whoâs my hero, and I chose you!â If this day wasnât going great, it was now. Because his son's comment just made his whole week, life even.
âOh look dad!â The little boy pointed towards your moving frame, each time getting clñoser towards them. âDaddy, this is Miss Y/N!â Yuuji kept presenting the both of you. He was really excited to present his two favorite persons to each other- but all Gojo could think of whatâs how young and beautiful you looked. He expected someone older, maybe even an old lady with wrinkles and that loving grandma vibes, but what he saw made his heart beat in a way he never thought he would feel ever more.
âDaddy? Are you paying attention?â The little boy gained Gojoâs attention back, face now looking at him again. âIâm sorry kiddo, kinda just zoned out there. What did you just say?â
âUhh, what was it? Oh! Did I tell you Miss Y/N told me you were a very handsome man?â
âYuuji!â His gaze moved towards your blushed face, a hand covering part of your face. âIâm so sorry Mr.Gojo, I didnât intend to say-â
Gojo cut you off before you could continue apologizing âItâs okay, I also think Ms.Y/N is a very beautiful woman.âÂ
Uh, well. So this is how kinda you found yourself in this situation right now.
You swear it wasnât your intention! You really tried, you really did, but how could someone say no to Mr.Gojo? And mostly because he really showed his attraction towards you. Sending Yuuji with a rose for you every day, and the little boy was rooting for his dad, because dear god- he did not shut up about him, and how happy he would be with a new girlfriend and maybe one he could call âmommyâ and give him a sister.Â
That made you blush.Â
Not only because the little boy commented on it, and was agreeing- but because it was his dadâs idea.
âYouâre so wet, s-shit.â Loud thrusts filled the room, he was fucking you raw on his sofaâ waiting for Yuujiâs mom to bring him back, the little boy was eager to come back and âsee Ms.Y/N and his daddy finally starting to fall in loveâ
Kids being kids. But, he was right- the both of you were falling in love with eachother.
Gojo throws back his head, immersed in the warmth radiating off your walls and he lets your moans take him to another world. In a haste decision, he slips your dress over your head before tossing it. He mouths at your tits, plump and stiff between his lips, and he hurdles a deeper round of thrusts inside you.Â
When you get a little too loud, his hand comes over to clamp your mouth, wolf like eyes staring back at you, âShut it. You donât deserve to speak.â
His thin white tee that stays a barrier between you and him does not hide the rippling body underneath that seemed to be sculpted by gods. He presses into you, grunting, using you like his personal sex doll and you embrace it, thrive from it, come to it. Your hips contract, slewing in perfect circles, before having your legs fall gradually lifeless as you arousal drip down your thighs.
âFfffucckkk- oh baby, would you like that? Be full of me and my baby? Make me a daddy again?â
âyesyesyesyes, make me yours Mr.Gojo-âÂ
He pays your climax no mind,a smirk clearly showing on his face while he fucks you on his sofa- You could muffle your screams of pleasure easier here. Turning your head back to face him, you notice now heâs shirtlessâtaut and shiny from sweat like a large set of Hawaiian rollsâbefore seeing how quick he is to fit back inside you.
âGood girl.â His husky voice resonates and pushes you back into the sheets. âGood girls get rewards, donât they?â Your poor fucked up mind couldnât think clearly now. The way your abused and overstimulated pussy was still taking his rock hard cock gratefully inside you was making every feel giddy. A sudden noise bringing back a little part of your senses, Gojo clearly grunting grabbed his what you suppose phone, and answered. Not bothering to stop his thrusts.
âYeah?,â His voice sounded almost like a whisper because of how breathy it was. âGojo? Iâm almost at your house- Yuuji wanted some ice-cream and bought some for you and⊠your new girlfriend?â His chuckle interrupted his ex-wifeâs conversation, accompanied with a whimper at the feeling of you clenching on him- overstimulation clearly bringing you back to climax soon again.
A slap was heard from his part of the line, an unbelievable laugh coming from his ex-wife line, clearly noticing what was going on and then she finally heard you moan. You couldnât keep it in anymore, and you were too fucked out to feel embarrased about it right now.
âFinish before I leave Yuuji- Enjoy yourself.â Gojo was so lost in pleasure that he didnât even realize she hung up before he even processed what happened.
His grunts and sounds of skins slapping are all you hear as he pounds you back into the sofa. It feels like heaven beneath his weight. You were feeling flushed to the touch, but making contact with his skin was like an inferno. He was the embodiment of heat and as suffocating as that couldâve been, it melts you like itâs how it always shouldâve been.
His pace eventually falters, followed by a hushed âfuck,â and he empties out into your used hole. The moment he pulled out, a knock was heard.Â
âShit. Can you walk?â
PART 2
#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#gojo smut#satoru smut#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo jujutsu kaisen#geto smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#toji smut#gojo x you#smut
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"first day"
fluff, happy fushiguro family, slice of life, megs' first day of school send-off
Synopsis: you've been dating toji for a while now and megumi subconsciously calls you mom for the first time on his way out the door
to sum it up: you adore the little family you've come to be a part of
WC: 1,701
Warning(s): none
"Megs!" you call out, standing by the front door awaiting the dark-haired boy's arrival. He soon shuffles around the corner from his room, throwing a bag over his shoulder with a tired expression on his face.
His father turns to watch him walk in, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. "The hell were you doing in there that took you so long?"
"Nothing," Megumi grumbles, moving to brush past the two of you to rush to the door. "I just wanted to look presentable, that's all."
"So you took thirty minutes to get ready?" Toji quirks a brow.
"Believe it or not, dad, some would say that's not enough time to get ready in the morning."
"Not at all, actually," you agree.
Toji tugs the corner of his mouth in judgment. " Well, you should know," he says to you. "You spend at least ten years in the bathroom when we have somewhere to go."
You scoff, rolling your eyes. "That's such an overreaction. I never take any longer than an hour." Megumi and his father exchange knowing looks and you place your hand on your hip. "What?"
"Don't worry baby," Toji assures you. "It's okay to be in denial."
"We've timed it before. The last time we all went out to dinner as a family, you took two and a half hours to get dressed," Megumi adds.
"That's only because I had to shower and pick out an outfit then do my hair and makeup," you defend.
"Isn't that a little overkill? It takes me half that time to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get some homework done."
"Whatever. Your sister would understand," you sigh.
"Unfortunately, she may be worse than you."
"Women," Toji tsks. You slap his bicep and he pretends to flinch, smirking down at you playfully. "Ouch."
"Alright, well, I'm ready now. I don't wanna be late," the sixteen year old says, turning back to reach for the door handle.
"Ah ah ah, wait!" you stop him. "You're not going anywhere without me getting a good look at you. Turn around, I wanna see how the uniform fits."
Megumi lowers his head and complies, turning back around stiffly for you to admire him. You press your hand to your lips to conceal your smile, eyes gleaming with pride as you look over the sharp navy jacket and pants he adorns.
"Awwww," you coo. "It fits perfectly! How does it feel?"
"Pretty good," Megumi nods, moving his arm around slightly to show his mobility in the fabric. "It's comfortable too. It shouldn't be a problem during missions."
"I still can't believe how quickly time has gone by," you muse. "You're already going into your first year at Jujutsu High! Are you excited?"
"You better be," Toji grunts. "Your uncle Gojo hasn't gotten off my ass about your enrollment for years. At least now, he'll finally shut up."
"I still don't understand why I have to have him as a teacher. He's such a moron, I doubt he'll teach us anything useful," Megumi mumbles.
"Moron or not, he's the strongest sorcerer of the modern age and he's helped out so much. I'm sure he'll be able to give you a good experience," you say positively.
"We talkin' about the same Gojo here? The one who trashed my house playing tag with Megumi and the dogs in the living room?" Toji points out and his son grits his teeth at the memory.
"Oh come on, Satoru was like twenty one back then. I can only imagine the crazy shit you've with the kids when you were raising them," you tease.
"You don't even want to know," Megumi exhales.
"Please, you came out just fine, didnât ya?â Toji says, reaching out his hand to ruffle at Megumi's spiky hair. The teen recoils, craning his head away and shielding himself with his arm.
"Quit it. I'm not five anymore."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all grown up now, I know. Gonna be a first-grade sorcerer before I can even blink an eye."
"Who said that I would be first grade? I'm only a first year."
"Yeah, and look at who your pops is," Toji grins. "Plus, you got an advantage that I never had. You'll do just fine."
Megumi hums indifferently, doubting himself momentarily but accepting the words nonetheless. "Alright, are we ready?"
"No, not yet!" you pull out your phone quickly and open the camera. "I need to get pictures."
The blue-eyed boy slumps. "(Y/n), I gotta go."
"I know, I know, just a few," you promise, holding your camera up to capture his awkward figure in the frame. "Okay, smile."
Megumi doesn't, and of course you don't actually expect him to. Instead, he calmly stares at the camera with his arms at his sides, unsure of what to do with themselves. Toji moves to stand behind you, leaning down to take a peak at the million pictures you're snapping.
"Toji, go stand with him so I can get one with the both of you."
The two groan simultaneously. "Doll, can we just focus on gettin' the kid to school?"
"It's fine. His stuff is already moved into his dorm. We have time."
"But-"
"Shut up and go stand with your son, now," you glare firmly up at the green-eyed man and he huffs.
"Yes, ma'am."
Toji raises a hand to his hip and tilts his head boredly as he stands beside Megumi, the two of them sharing the exact same blank stare as they look into the camera. You squeal happily. "You two are so cuteee!"
"We done, now?"
"No, I wanna get one more with Megs, and then I'm good." The boys give you a look, but you wave them off. "I mean it! Gosh, here Toji. Take our picture."
Toji obliges, grabbing your phone from your hand as you rush over to the tall boy. His expression melts into serenity as you place your hands on his shoulders and lean your head against his arm, smiling widely at the camera as a hint of a smile touches Megumi's lips.
Toji's heart warms at the sight, watching the way his son grows comfortable in your presence. The picture of the two of you looks so natural t to him like you are meant to be a part of his family, which he knows you are.
He snaps the photo and nods. "Got it."
You exhale, turning to face Megumi. You brush your hands over his shoulders to straighten his jacket, ridding it of any lint and wrinkles. "Okay, Megumi, please remember to be safe."
"I know. I will," he nods.
"And don't be too reckless when it comes to training."
"I won't."
"And try to make friends. I know how easy it is for you to push others away."
"I'll try."
You press your lips together with a final sigh, looking over Megumi's face warmly. You wrap your arms safely around him into a hug, your emotions getting the best of you. You have spent the past year caring for Megumi like your own, and watching him head off to achieve his goals makes your heart swell with joy and fear all the same.
"Text me or your father or Tsumiki if you need anything. Anything at all," you tell him. He returns your hug gently.
"Okay," he chuckles lightly and you pull away. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."
"...I know you will..." you pout. "Okay, I'll let you go. Good luck. I hope you have an amazing first day. I'll see you at the end of the week, yeah?"
"Mhm. I'll call you to let you know how the day went later."
"Please do."
Toji hands you back your phone and walks toward the door with Megumi. "Let's get a move on," he says. He leans over quickly to peck your lips farewell. "I'll be back in a few."
"Don't speed, Toji."
"Speeding gets you places quicker," he winks and you suck your teeth disapprovingly. Megumi opens the door, his dad gripping the frame.
"Bye, boys. Stay out of trouble," you wave, eyes glassy as you watch Megumi walk out.
"See ya, doll."
"Bye, mum."
The three of you freeze the second the words hit the air, everyone stilling in their tracks.
You feel your heart burst as overwhelming happiness consumes you. Megumi keeps his face forward, hiding his reddening cheeks as he processes what he has just said. Toji stares at the back of his son's head, eyes wide, before he turns to look at you to find your shocked, giddy face.
You don't have any time to reply when Megumi clears his throat suddenly, sweat dotting his forehead, and he walks rigidly out of the house and swiftly down the hall without looking back.
Toji stays behind, keeping an eye on you when you look up at him, stunned. "Did he just...?" you murmur.
"Yep."
Your eyes immediately well with tears and your lips wobble, your hands flying over your mouth. "He sees me as his mom?" you whisper.
Toji chuckles, ducking down to you with his hand still gripping the door. "Of course he does. He's always adored you. Him and Tsumiki."
"I'm gonna cry."
The assassin chuckles softly, pressing his thumb to the corner of your eye gently. "You're already cryin.'"
"Shut up," you sniff. "God, I love those kids so much. I just wanna give him all the hugs in the world."
"And you'll be able to. There isn't a better woman on this planet to be there for the kids," he kisses your cheek. "That's why I plan t'marry you someday."
"Fuck you, Toj. You're gonna make me cry even more."
"Sorry, baby. Can't help talkin' about it," he leans back to the doorway. "Let me get the kid squared away and make sure he's not dyin' of embarrassment, then I'll be back to talk to ya about makin' this official."
"You're being for real?"
"Of course I am."
You lower your hands and beam. "Tell Megumi I love him and get back here soon."
"I will," he hums. "But I thought you said no speeding?"
"Just- make sure the two of you at least get to the school in one peace."
He smirks. "Will do, doll."
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#anime#jjk fandom#jjk#jjk season 2#jjk x you#toji fushiguro#toji headcanons#jujutsu kaisen toji#fushiguro toji#toji x reader#toji fushiguro fluff#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk fushiguro#megumi fushiguro#toji fluff#toji x reader fluff#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji fushiguro x you#megumi fluff
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