#like what is the science here why does my brain think like that........................
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there is something sooooo comforting about horror/thriller films but i don't know what it is. especially the psychological thrillers, not the boring gore/serial killer ones. i hate night time because i go loopy the second it gets dark outside, BUT............. putting on a spooky film? seeing creepy ghosts? watching a rich upper class lady question her reality? suddenly it all seems a lot better..................................
#ive always been like this too but i want to clarify that i do NOT like the idea of ppl dying or being killed or any of the bad stuff like#the films aren't comforting bc of me finding the content APPEALING or anything vomit emoji x 3#if we want to be hashtag deep i think its maybe bc its like . wow at least that is not me . at least that is not my life .#or perhaps its bc its like... i KNOW this stuff isnt real so its like immersing my brain into something else that it knows isnt real ???#I DON'T KNOW but i bet a lot of u agree soooo why do u guys find them comforting if u read this far ????????????? pls tell me im curious...#like what is the science here why does my brain think like that........................#ps the best films ive watched are the others (2001) shutter island (2001) ummmm there's a lot more but those 2 r the top 2#i
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y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.
i do a little today though.
#i'm probably going to feel this way the rest of the week#got some Stressful Stuff on my plate - none of it is world ending no matter what my brain thinks#but it's stressful and needs to get done#we already took care of One of the big major things just today because i was having a breakdown about it#because peeks threw up on my favorite shirt after having thrown up all over my bed yesterday and i'm like#she does this when there's a lot of change and stress going on and we've just moved and also we're attempting peace negotiations between he#and Solaire and it's. y'know. hampered by the fact that she's poorly socialized and both of them are dumb as rocks#and so she's stressed out because of the myriad of changes happening to her#and i'm stressed out because she's stressed out PLUS all the other bureaucratic nonsense i have in my brain#AND there's external stress in my foundkin (we're workshopping ways i can integrate the Family Label to apply to folks who weren't terrible#to me when i was a child) and it's just like#i had a really good day yesterday#i've been having pretty good days in general and i knew the crash would come and i knew that i'd get stressed about these things to the max#and that's. like. I know the science and paths behind how we got here#but i also hate that i'm here in this mindset with these things and i also cannot do the laundry myself after all#first because stairs are not always conquerable (they are Exceptionally Not For Me as of yesterday to the point where i'm going to have to#limit myself to the bathroom that doesn't have 2 stairs down to it even if it's closer in the moment)#and second because i ABHOR the texture of tide pods but i cannot deny that they are useful and so much easier to use/keep tidy#than a jug of Cleaning Goo is#so like. i'm embarrassed that all my bedding needs washing and i'm embarrassed that my shirt needs washing#and i'm embarrassed that i make dirty clothes in general and i *am* getting over that#it's slow but the fact that physically laundry is not a task i can complete on the wet side of things#(i still really enjoy the process of folding and sorting though i don't get around to it quickly)#but like. this is one of the reasons why i get freaked out about the fact that i create laundry that needs doing#even if it's not actually my fault (i'm trying very hard to remember it's not my fault the cat threw up on my clothes#and them being put away would have meant she probably would have thrown up on something else that needed to be cleaned#like the bed for example - i cannot put my whole bed away so she doesn't throw up on it)#becuase i feel like i'm burdening someone else to do a whole bunch of work for *me* and i can't do anything in return#(as if i haven't been very deliberately trying to keep up with the dishes daily this whole week so i don't feel like i contribute nothing t#the household)
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“Yes, sir.”
Bob Floyd x Reader
Summary: Bob is known to be the sweet and shy one of the Dagger Squat. Little do they know, as soon as he comes home to you, he sheds that persona—but only for you.
Content: 18+ smut, some fluff, a hungry Bob 😏
I feel like it’s canon that Bob fucks so let’s let him fuck us…for science 💗😇 Enjoy!!
Robert Floyd was many things. Shy? Yes. Quiet? Sure. But he was not one to leave his girl longing for anything. That’s why when you’d texted him, asking him to come home straight after work, he didn’t hesitate to make sure he did as soon as he was dismissed for the day.
“Baby on board!” Hangman calls out in the locker room. “Where are you going in a hurry?”
“Um, home?” He responds.
“I thought you were coming to Hard Deck with us,” Bradley says, poking his head from behind a locker door.
Fuck he said that didn’t he?
“Sorry,” he smiles. “Can we rain check?”
Hangman smiles, a knowing look practically shooting out of his eyes. “It’s your girl isn’t it?”
Bob only blushes, stammering, “Wh-why, well, umm…”
“Don’t worry,” Hangman smiles and winks at him. “My Darlin’ is the same way. You go get to her.”
Bob almost choked on his saliva, Bradley does it for him and causes Jake to turn around in surprise.
“What?!” Bradley asks when he’s calmed down.
“‘What’ what?” Jake asks back. “You didn’t know baby on board had a girl?”
“Nat told me about her but I thought she was pulling my leg,” Bradley responds.
Bob can hear Jake tell him something but that’s when he steps out of the locker room and heads toward the parking lot. Reaching his truck, Bob pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose before starting his drive home.
———
Pulling into the driveway of y'all's small home, Bob was anxious to get inside. From the text you'd send him about an hour ago, it sounded like you urgently needed him home after work.
Bounding for the front door, Bob swings it open expecting to see you in tears. However, he finds you seated on the kitchen island in nothing but a white lacy set of lingerie and matching stockings. On your feet are the heels you reserve when you're feeling extra fun.
Racking his brain, Bob tries to remember if there was something important happening today.
His birthday isn't for another few months, yours already passed...an anniversary?
You chuckle, watching your boyfriend try to think of what could've prompted this look.
"Are you gonna mull over what why I'm dressed like this, or are you gonna come over here and kiss me?" you ask, a smirk on your lips.
Bob nods, dropping his bag at the entryway before closing and locking the front door and practically running to kiss you.
"Hi, baby," he murmurs against your lips.
"Hi, Bobby," you respond, smiling into the kiss he presses to your lips.
He pulls away to take you in, admiring the way the flimsy fabric sits on your body.
Bob's navy eyes darken, turning almost midnight blue with lust and desire. "You did this for me?"
You nod, biting your lip and smiling.
Bob's eyes practically undress you as they roam down your body. He licks his thin lips before smiling and taking his glasses off, hooking them on the neckline of his shirt. You watch as he drops to his knee before you, a smirk appearing and face transforming to the alter ego Bob takes on when he fucks you.
"Are my dinner tonight?" he asks, voice deep and gravely. When you nod, he clicks his tongue. "You know I like when you use your words, Princess."
You hold in your smile before finally speaking. "Yes, I'm dinner for tonight. Unless you want something, then I can—”
Bob stops you, kissing the top of your thighs before opening them and kissing from the inside of your knee toward your pulsing core.
"What was that?" he asks between kisses.
"Nothing," you sigh, watching as his eyes slowly raise to meet your own.
He pulls you closer to him, smiling when you yelp at the motion. He resumes kissing up your other thigh until he reaches the thin fabric of your lacy thong.
The sensation of his breathing on top of your pulsing clit makes you whimper, causing Bob to chuckle against you. A chill runs down your spine when he kisses you over the fabric.
"Lift your hips," Bob orders.
When you do, he pulls the thong down, bringing the stockings down with before slowly pulling your heels off and peeling the rest of the thong and stockings off. He throws them to the side, smiling down at your cunt before squinting and pulling his glasses on.
"Keep them on," you tell him.
"They look dorky," he laughs.
"And I like how dorky you look in them," you smile.
Bob's eyes darken behind those circular lenses before he lowers himself back to your core and kisses your clit.
Warmth and electricity ignite from that spot, up your stomach, and then back down your legs. When he licks you from the bottom of your entrance to the tip of your clit, you moan his name.
“Fuck, Bobby,” you say, back arching a bit off the counter.
Bob chuckles, sending vibrations to your clit where his mouth is lightly sucking.
Another thing about Bob…he was a ravenous pussy eater. Once he starts, he won’t stop until you’re a shaking mess under him.
Moving his mouth, Bob laps your entrance, fucking you with his tongue and moaning at the taste of you. His nose continues where his tongue once was, nudging and flicking your clit as he eats you out.
Your hands fly to his hair, pulling lightly and gently moving his face back and forth, hips grinding into him.
You were so close, you could feel the wave or orgasms crashing into the lower part of your belly and you were desperate to let it go.
“Bobby!” You exclaim. “I’m so fucking close! Oh my god!”
Bob continues his licking, the tip of his dick pressing into his pants at the sounds of your unraveling. He smiles into your pussy when you finally come, sweet and tang coating his lips and tongue.
He only stops when you pull his head away from you.
Standing, Bob grabs the back of your neck before kissing you deeply. The taste of you still on his tongue making you smile and immediately feel that pulsing between your legs again.
“Stand up, baby,” he says, voice gruff and sending shivers down your body.
“Yes, Lieutenant,” you smile.
Bob’s hand slapping your ass as he turns you around makes you giggle in delight. You knew exactly what you were doing. You only call him Lieutenant when you were feeling extra and right now…you were feeling it.
“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” He growls against your ear.
“Yes, sir,” you mutter.
He slaps your ass again, a yelp of delight coming from your lips.
“Louder,” he orders.
“Yes, sir!” You cry out.
Bob squats down, spreading your ass before licking your cunt and up your ass.
“Oh fuck!” You cry out.
Bob kisses up your back, one hand on your waist and the other undoing his pants. He lets you go to pull his pants clean down and stepping out of the pile.
His erect dick presses into your bum, making you moan and grind against it. Stopping you, Bob grabs your neck, kissing harshly.
“Do you feel what you do to me?” He moans in your ear. “That outfit gets me so fucking hard.”
“I feel it, sir,” you tell him.
“Do you want me to fuck you, Princess?” He asks, nibbling on the sensitive spot on your neck.
“Yes,” you breathe.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir!”
Bob lines himself to your entrance, careful to angle himself to a position that’s comfortable for you before starting to thrust into you.
You’re tight. Almost too tight, Bob has to think of something else to keep from coming inside you at that second.
As he thrusts, you clench around him, walls wet and soft around him—making him speed his pace and mutter a fuck.
He can feel just how deep he is, and he can’t help but pound into you harder. The thought of being able to get himself completely in your cunt makes his head swim in lustful damnation.
He pulls out, spinning you around before lifting you in his arms.
“What’re you do—”
You don’t have time to finish what you were going to say because Bob is sinking you down onto his cock, gliding you up and down as he bucks up into you.
“Oh my god,” you moan, squeezing your eyes shut.
“No,” he growls. “Open your eyes when I fuck you.”
You obey, eyes locking on his navy ones and mouth forming an ‘o’.
He smiles at you before moaning. “You look so pretty taking my cock in the air.”
You moan in response, unable to form words. He walks you to a wall, pressing your back into it and speeding his pace again.
“Fuck baby,” he mutters, eyes still on you. “I’m so fucking close.”
“Come on my face,” you tell him.
“Come on my face, sir.” He corrects.
You smile. “Come on my face, daddy.”
Holy shit. Bob was gonna combust right inside you if you keep looking at him like that.
Pulling himself out of you and setting you in the floor gently, Bob watches as you get you to knees, mouth open and eyes still on his.
Pumping the last bit of orgasm to the tip, he spills all over your face with a groan.
He watches as you use your fingers to push his come into your mouth, making a show to swallow before opening your mouth.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he tells you, grabbing your hair and kissing you deeply.
“I love you,” you tell him when he pulls away.
“I love you more, Princess.” He tells you, helping you to your feet before sweeping his arms under your legs and carrying you to y’all’s room. “Now, let’s shower so we can go for a round two.”
Wheeeew…something’s crying between my legs. What..?
Tag: @sweetwhispersofchaos @ginghampearlsnsweettea @caystar13star @shinycupcakebaker @sunsetsimpsblog
#lewis pullman#i need him biblically#fanfic#bob floyd headcanon#bob floyd x reader#robert bob floyd imagine#robert bob floyd#bob floyd#top gun bob#i love him#top gun maverick
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Oh StarClan... your dash has turned into warrior cats again.
#sorry <3 #this one has parts that are based off of that #one post rhats like "if there were cat-people #do you think calico tboys would try to dye over their patches"
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🔁 🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow reblogged
🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow
Me & Night (my mate)!!!
🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow
:O Kip's mate has finally been revealed!!! And his name is Night? Cooool.
🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow
Yeah haha. Technically his full name is Night Hunter, Bringer of Darkness, but it feels so weirdly formal calling him that, so I usually stick to just Night.
#life #kittypet #collar tw #cw collars #id in alt text
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🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow
I find it really funny when I see cats on here vaguepost about big blogs. Like cmon mouse-brain everyone here knows who you're talking about. Just say their name.
#this is about that one mommy blogger shitting on kipper the kittypet #btw #in case some of you couldnt tell #would be funny if it wasnt so stupid
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🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged
🥬 rxttencatmint Follow
Hahaaaaa.... my mother found out ive been slowly dyeing my ginger patches black...
🪺 robbbinpaw Follow
Why would you do that??? Being a tortie is so cool, I wish I had ginger patches! They're so pretty, why do you want to get rid of them???
🥬 rxttencatmint Follow
Uhm. Gender dysphoria??
Like. I know cis male tortoiseshells exist but they're so rare that most cats take one look at me and go "oh, tortie, must be a girl" and that hurts.
🪺 robbbinpaw Follow
OH STARCLAN im so sorry Rot i wasnt even thinking about you being trans, I probably sounded really insensitive... I do understand what you're saying now.
Didn't even ask, how did your mom take it? Does she know why?
🥬 rxttencatmint Follow
You're fine <3 I get it. And no, she uh.. has no clue why I did it, she thinks I'm in my "emo phase" or something.
🐍 xviper-the-fagx
Uhh unrelated but what do you use to dye your fur?? Asking for... science...
#"science" meaning i am also a tortie tboy #well technically i'm calico but ykwim
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🔁 🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow reblogged
🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow
I can't be the only one here who thinks it's unfair to allow kittypets on this site. Posting pictures of themselves and their mates inside of the twolegplace, influencing the young kits on this site to abandon their Clans... surely everyone else sees the problem with this as well.
This is Clanblr, not "Kittypetblr". This was specifically made as a space for Clan cats to connect, not for kittypets to push their lifestyle on us.
They're going to convince our kits to abandon their home and their belief in StarClan just for a more secure life.
#EXACTLY #I only recently found out ex-tc Kipper was a kittypet #it was so upsetting to me because i've always loved his wood-scratch art #to find out he's a clan-abandoner was so saddening
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🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged
🌻 l1llyst3m Follow
The recent drama surrounding Kipper the Kittypet is sad and I hate that he's being bashed just for existing, but it's also incredibly stupid. I believe the cat who wrote the original post said something like, "it's CLANblr, not KITTYPETblr," and then something about belief in StarClan and I just... do you even realize how many Clanblr mods are non-Clan and/or don't believe in StarClan?
To name a few, @s-t-a-r-burning is former WindClan now rogue & openly an atheist, @theshadowhaseyes has been a kittypet his whole life, and @ssuunnrraayy-p has made zir entire blog about how ze travels from one Clan to another & doesnt consider zimself a Clan cat. Those are all mods. "It's clanblr no-" shut up. Just shut up.
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🧷 name-lists-by-theme
Theme: Water
as always, these work as either part of your name, but they are intended as the first part!
-Abyss
-Bay
-Bog
-Cove
-Creek
-Current
-Dew
-Fog
-Lagoon
-Lake
-Marsh
-Mist
-Pond
-Pool
-Puddle
-Rain
-Shallow
-Sleet
-Spray
-Splash
-Storm
-Stream
-Torrent
Keep reading
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🐱 berrrrry-o Follow
I think a lot of cats put way too much emphasis on the parts of the warrior code that dont matter, and forget the parts that do, like "feed elders and kits first" and "never neglect a kit in pain or danger"... I feel like those are significantly more important than "a warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet," but maybe that's just me.
#berry yaps #I'm irritated by the kittypet drama going on on this site
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🔁 🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow reblogged
🔲 sag3-chas3s-squirr3ls-deactivated
I feel like we don't talk enough about how SkyClan got chased out of their own territory during a time of crisis rather than all of the Clans trying to make room for everyone...
I mean, seriously. I know it's taught to all SkyClan apprentices, but I've talked to some of my friends from other Clans and they just. Didn't know that. They were never taught that the other Clans allowed SkyClan to be chased out due to territory loss.
🔲 sstep-xoxo-deactivated
:/ im pretty sure the whole thing about skclan being kicked out of their territory is just a conspiracy theory
🔲 sag3-chas3s-squirr3ls-deactivated
Imagine trying to tell a cat that they don't know their own Clan's history 💀
#ohh i finally found it again #that 1 fucker trying to say that skyclan's history is a "conspiracy theory"
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🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow
:/ I do not like being stuck on the wrong site.
#fakeposting#fake dash#fake dashboard#warrior cats#warriors#warriors dashboard simulator#warriors dashboard sim#dash sim#warrior cats dashboard#cat dashboard simulator#dashboard simulator#dash simulator#unreality#clanblr
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I was never really certain about my transition in the way that most gatekeeping hormone prescribers and curious members of the public demand that a trans person be. I didn’t “always know” that I was not cisgender. I haven’t “always known” anything about myself. Very few truths about me have always remained true, my existence is too interpersonal, contextual, and ever-evolving for all of that. (So is most everyone else’s, I think). I don’t think that the fact I’d eventually choose to exercise my body autonomy at age 30 by taking hormones is a decision I could have foreseen when I was a child. All that I knew about being transgender when I was a kid was a fact that most children intuitively know: gender assignment was a violation of my freedom, of everyone’s freedom in fact, and it was wrong. As an infant and then a child and teenager, people kept imposing labels on me; they kept forcing me and my body into prescribed gendered boxes, and while the specific labels and boxes never really felt like the right ones, the most disturbing part about it all was the forcing. No coerced identity would have ever felt right. Children can tell when secrets are being kept from them, and when adults are restricting their choices. They notice that they and the other children are being lined up boy-girl, boy-girl, without ever being told what a girl or a boy even is. They can see their parents frowning when they reach for the doll with the shimmery hair, or climb atop the neighbor kid on the playground. Kids know that they are forbidden from sitting with their legs spread wide or flicking their wrist, and their gender illegibility is shamed in them, long before they get any answers about what gender means or where it comes from or why it’s so important that they make themselves easy to understand.
Like the cloned children in Never Let Me Go who grow up being conditioned for a life of forced organ donation, children in a cissexist society grow up conditioned to fall within certain gendered boundary lines, and by the time they learn that the reason for this is almost completely arbitrary, they can’t imagine any alternative. Not until some of them hear about gender transition and find the prospect very compelling, for some reason. You can say that reason is because some of us are inherently trans, but there’s absolutely nothing in the way of brain science, genetics research, or even sociological data to back that up. Besides, the search for a biological “reason” that people are transgender or queer runs counter to the goal of queer liberation in the long run. Science only needs to explain the existence of transgender people (or queer people more broadly) if our existence is in some way aberrant or a problem. If queerness is accepted as a form of human diversity that simply exists, then there is no need to excuse it by claiming that it is never a choice. It can be a choice, if a person wants to make it, and hopefully it satisfies them, but maybe it won’t. Freedom to choose means freedom to forever be dissatisfied, to search endlessly for more, and yes, to capable of making a mistake. I would say that viewing myself as transgender was a choice. I decided to break away from the straight, female categories to which I had been assigned, and doing so allowed me to view the legal and societal power structures that had restricted me more clearly. It helped me better understand myself. But that does not mean the actual act of breaking away was always the truest reflection of who I am. The version of me that transitioned was a person on the run — and how a person behaves, thinks, and self-conceives when they are fleeing is not a great reflection of whom they might be if they were safe. If we all lived in a world free from mandatory gender assignment, and where our bodies were not mined for meaning about the kinds of sex we liked, the clothing we should wear, the personality qualities we have, the roles we should play in society, and the connections we are allowed to form with others, who knows who each of us might be. But none of us get to live in that world, or ever gets completely free from the frameworks of heterosexuality and the gender binary. These frameworks shape every legal institution we encounter, every school we attend, every item of clothing we put on, every substance we take into our bodies, every piece of paperwork that ever gets printed about us, and every look another person ever gives us. And so we make due with rewriting and recombining those frameworks as best we can. It should come as no surprise that those us who break away from the binary have to experiment and revise how we understand ourselves quite a bit — sometimes getting things “wrong,” sometimes searching forever for the semblance of something “right.” Sometimes reveling in the “wrongness” of all the available options is kind of the point.
I wrote about my detransition, retransition, and the eternal dissatisfaction that is probably the corest truth of my identity. It's free to read or have narrated to you on my Substack.
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THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE DOUBTING SHIFTING a.k.a REAFFIRMING YOUR MINDSET.
welcome back to HRRTSHAPE's series of: THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE DOUBTING SHIFTING. where i hold your hand and help you through helping your mindset if it was mixed by the blender that is shifttok.
in this chapter, we're talking about the why. why does shifting work? why is it possible? why can you, specifically, do it? the truth is, it comes down to mindset, belief, and the magical soup of existence that connects everything. if you want to shift, it’s not about "if"—it’s about when.
✶ NR ONE. YOU ARE THE ARCHITECT OF YOUR MINDSET.
your mind is POWERFUL. like, you could be chilling in your room and suddenly be in a DR castle because your consciousness is the architect of everything you experience. think of your brain as a projector: whatever’s playing in your mind becomes what you see.
⋆ LAW OF ASSUMPTION. what you assume to be true becomes true. if you walk around KNOWING that you can shift, then shifting is inevitable. your subconscious doesn’t differentiate between “real” and “imagined.” if you FEED it with affirmations and belief, it builds that reality for you.
affirm, affirm, affirm !! "i am the creator of my experiences. shifting is natural for me. my mind and reality align effortlessly."
⋆ WHY IT WORKS. your brain loves patterns and shortcuts. when you repeat affirmations, your brain starts to accept them as facts. it’s like carving a path through a forest—the more you affirm, the easier it is for your mind to follow that path straight to your DR
✶ NR 2. LET'S DIVE INTO SCIENCE.
okay, let's get a little nerdy because i LOVE to sprinkle some quantum spice into this. science might not outright say, “shifting is real,” but it gives us so much evidence to vibe with.
⋆ MULTIVERSE THEORY. every choice, thought, and possibility exists somewhere. you’re not creating your dr; you’re just stepping into the version of reality where it already exists.
⋆ NEUROPLASTICITY. your brain literally rewires itself to match your beliefs and experiences. when you practice visualisation, scripting, or affirmations, you’re training your brain to believe in your dr—and to eventually shift there.
⋆ THE OBSERVER EFFECT. in quantum physics, particles behave differently when they’re being observed. translation? your focus changes reality. what you focus on grows.
✶ NR 3. SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT: HOW A DEAD-AND-ALIVE CAT PROVES INFINITE REALITIES.
now, we're far from dummies, but let me freak down schrödinger’s cat down like we’re having a latte and chatting about quantum mechanics? it’s a wild concept, but soooo perfect for understanding the possibility behind shifting. let’s go:
alright, picture this: there’s a cat in a box. it’s not just chilling in there, though—it’s part of a very weird science experiment. inside the box, there’s:
a cat (obviously), a vial of poison, a radioactive atom, and some device that might break the vial if the atom decays (science is chaotic, let’s move on).
HERE'S THE DEAL.
⋆ the radioactive atom has a 50/50 chance of decaying within an hour. ⋆ if it decays, the poison is released, and the cat dies. ⋆ if it doesn’t decay, the cat lives.
BUT—and this is the trippy part—you, as the observer, don’t know what’s happening inside the box until you open it. so, until you check, the cat is in this in-between state. it’s both dead AND alive at the same time. this is called superposition—when something exists in multiple states until it’s observed. It’s not until you open the box that the reality “collapses” into one outcome: the cat is either alive or dead.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR SHIFTING. now let’s take that poor cat out of the box (RIP or congrats to it) and apply this to your reality:
⋆ YOUR REALITY IS A QUANTUM SOUP. just like the cat, you and your consciousness exist in a state of superposition. right now, you’re in your current reality (CR), but there’s a version of you in your desired reality (DR) too. both exist at the same time, in the same “box.” ⋆ OBSERVATION CREATES REALITY. in quantum mechanics, things don’t take on a definite state until they’re observed. In the same way, your dr is “waiting” for you to observe and claim it. when you focus your mind on your dr, you collapse the possibilities and step into that version of reality. ⋆ YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE OUTCOME. the cat doesn’t get to choose its fate, but YOU DO. you’re not just an observer; you’re the creator. by choosing to focus on your DR, you make it the “reality” that wins out. ⋆ WHY THIS IS SO MOTIVATING. think about it: schrödinger’s cat teaches us that multiple outcomes exist at once. the universe doesn’t “lock you in” to one reality. shifting works because your dr isn’t some faraway dream—it’s already there, existing simultaneously with your cr. all you have to do is open the box (or, in this case, SHIFT) and see yourself in the reality you want.
HOW DO I USE THIS IN MY MINDSET?
⋆ VISUALISE YOUR DR AS THE CAT. instead of asking, “can i shift?” think of your dr as already existing in superposition. it’s BOTH real and reachable, waiting for you to observe it.
⋆ COLLAPSE THE REALITY YOU WANT. focus on affirmations, meditations, and practices that align with your dr. the more you believe and focus, the more you “collapse” the possibilities into the reality you desire.
⋆ TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF. just like you don’t need to “force” the cat to be alive or dead, you don’t have to force shifting. your dr already exists. it’s inevitable—it’s just waiting for you to claim it.
✶ NR FOUR. SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH DIMENSIONS?
𖥻 3D (third dimension): the "PHYSICAL REALITY." let’s start with what you already know. the 3D is the world we live in every day—the world of physicality, logic, and observation. it’s the “solid stuff” you can see, touch, and experience. things here have length, width, and height.
think:
⋆ that chair you’re sitting on. ⋆ your phone screen. ⋆ the way your crush smiled at you yesterday (!!!).
the 3D is super focused on “what’s real,” aka what you can prove or measure. it’s all about time moving in a straight line (past → present → future) and cause-and-effect logic.
𖥻 4D (fourth dimension): the realm of "THOUGHTS & BELIEF." the 4D is where the magic happens. it’s not just physical—it’s the dimension of consciousness, thoughts, emotions, and POSSIBILITY. time here isn’t linear like in the 3D; it’s fluid. in the 4D, your focus determines your reality, not the other way around.
think of the 4D as:
⋆ YOUR MENTAL PLAYGROUND. it’s where your imagination, affirmations, and beliefs exist. ⋆ THE CREATOR'S DIMENSION. what you think and feel here shapes what you experience in the 3D.
when you’re in the 4D, you’re no longer just a passive observer of reality—you’re creating it. your thoughts aren’t just “floating ideas”; they’re the building blocks of the world you want.
𖥻 3D vs 4D: WHY IT MATTERS FOR SHIFTING.
⋆ THE 3D IS REACTIONARY. it only shows you what you’re currently focused on. if you’re stuck in doubt, negativity, or thinking “shifting is impossible,” the 3D reflects that back to you like a mirror.
⋆ THE 4D IS LIMITLESS. it doesn’t care about the “rules” of the 3D. In the 4D, you can visualize, affirm, and believe in your DR, even if it hasn’t shown up in the 3D yet.
⋆ SHIFTING HAPPENS IN THE 4D. your dr isn’t tied to physical limitations—it exists as a POSSIBILITY in the 4D. when you focus your thoughts and emotions on it, you bring that version of reality closer to your 3D experience.
𖥻 HOW TO USE THE 4D TO SHIFT.
⋆ STOP REACTING TO THE 3D. the 3D might tell you, “you haven’t shifted yet,” (u have. a thousand times) or “this reality is the only real one.” that’s a LIE. don’t let the 3D trick you into thinking it’s all there is.
⋆ TIP, TIP, TIP. whenever doubt creeps in, remind yourself: “the 3D is just a reflection of my past focus. my dr is already mine in the 4D.”
⋆ LIVE IN THE 4D. spend time in your dr mentally. visualise it, affirm it, FEEL it. the 4D doesn’t care if it’s “real” yet; it only cares about what you believe.
⋆ CREATE NEW ASSUMPTIONS. the 4D operates on the law of assumption: what you assume to be true becomes true. assume your dr is inevitable, and don’t waste time questioning it.
⋆ ANYTIME YOU CATCH YOURSELF DOUBTING, flip it into an assumption: instead of “shifting is so hard,” say, “shifting is natural for me.” instead of “what if i fail?” say, “i’ve already succeeded.”
⋆ SEE TIME AS FLUID. in the 4D, time isn’t a straight line. your dr isn’t in the “future”; it already exists, and you’re aligning with it.
⋆ IGNORE THE HOW. the 3D will scream, “HOW is this possible? HOW will it happen?” Ignore it. The 4D doesn’t need explanations. your job is to focus on the end result—living in your DR. the universe handles the how.
✶ NR FIVE. THE IMPORTANCE OF AFFIRMATIONS.
affirmations are your bread and butter, your foundation, your ride-or-die. why? because they reprogram your subconscious to align with your dr. they're not just “words.” they’re instructions to the universe.
HOW TO AFFIRM EFFECTIVELY. ⋆ speak in the present tense: “i am already in my dr.”⋆ make it emotional. the more you feel it, the stronger your focus. add excitement, joy, or calmness. whatever your dr feels like. ⋆ keep it simple: “shifting is easy for me.” ⋆ sneak them into your day. affirm while brushing your teeth, scrolling your phone, or walking. your dr energy should feel as casual as breathing. ⋆ repeat, repeat, repeat. consistency is queen. say your affirmations in the morning, before bed, or anytime your brain tries to pull a "what if?" moment.
✶ NR SIX. THE BOOSTER PACK OF BELIEF.
here’s the tea: belief is EVERYTHING. you don’t have to be perfect. you don’t have to follow a method like it’s a rigid rulebook. you just have to believe it’s possible for you.
⋆ WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR DR SELF. pour your heart out. about what you're doing. what you're excited to do. it makes the connection feel real.
⋆ TRUST THE TIMING. just because it hasn’t happened YET doesn’t mean it won’t. think of it like baking cookies—just because they’re in the oven doesn’t mean they’re not baking. your dr is already aligning with you.
✶ NR SEVEN. THE PHILOSOPHICAL MINDSET.
now let’s take a step back and look at the big picture. why would shifting even be real? why would the universe allow it?
⋆ WE ARE CONSCIOUSNESS EXPERIENCING ITSELF. at the end of the day, you are not your body. you are not your cr identity. you are a soul, a spark of consciousness, moving through infinite experiences. shifting is just a way to explore that freedom.
⋆ REALITY IS REFLECTION. everything you see around you is a reflection of your inner world. if you shift your beliefs, your reality will shift too.
⋆ YOU ARE INFINITE. the fact that you can imagine your dr means it already exists. the universe doesn’t create limitations; it creates possibilities.
✶ NR EIGHT. IT'S ALREADY YOURS.
this isn’t a question of “can i?” or “will i?” it’s a statement: i AM shifting. your dr already exists. your soul, mind &&& consciousness already knows how to get there. the only thing standing in your way is the belief that you can’t. and guess what? that belief? it’s an illusion.
think of shifting like a cosmic cheat code—it’s not “too good to be true”; it’s your birthright. every doubt, every fear, every tiktok rant in your head about ‘what if it doesn’t work’—yeet them into the void. affirm, affirm, affirm.
you are meant to experience everything you dream of. whether it’s walking into hogwarts as a wizard, sipping lattes in a fame dr apartment, or going full demigod chaos—your reality is yours to claim.
#emma motivates#shifting motivation#realityshifting#reality shifting#reality shift#shifting realities#shifting community#desired reality#shifting#shifting blog#shifting consciousness#famedr#shifting antis dni#reality shifter#shifting realities stories#reality shifting community#fame dr#shifters#shiftblr#anti shifters dni#shifttok#shiftblr community#shifting script#shifting motivation 4 u#shifting reality#shiftinconsciousness#shifting diary#motivation#mindset#law of assumption
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Hey there. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm struggling to find a job, for when I finish college in a couple of months. Unfortunately, there's slim pickings for us theater majors out there, and I've had no luck landing anything. Do you think you would know a job that I could get?
You never thought you’d be in this situation. Sure, your friends and family looked upon you skeptically when you said you were getting a degree in theater. Always questioning you about your career plans and what you planned to do with that. But you persisted- spending hours learning about the evolution of theater from different cultures and creating complex scripts. You truly loved it- your passion palpable. But graduation day was approaching.
“I’d like to do something in my field.” You say, while your college’s career counselor looked over your resume on his tablet, “I’ve written a few plays and...”
“I can see that.” His words carried a dismissive tone and his eyes are glued to his tablet, “But there aren’t any opportunities for you based on your specific interests and timeframe.”
“But that’s not fair.” You complain, “I came here because you guarantee 100% of your graduates leave with a job in their chosen field.” You felt frustrated- you paid a lot of money to get this degree with the belief that you’d be employed.
“We do indeed.” He says, continuing to focus on his tablet, “We work closely with our students to get them to where they need to be.”
“So then why...”
“But sometimes it takes time.” He continues, swiping aggressively on his touchscreen, “But with all struggling students, we can match them into a program that has better career prospects.”
“But I don’t...”
“Take for example Exercise Science.” He says, “This year, 100% of their students will be going into a career in their field.”
“How does that have anything to do with...”
“Theater didn’t work out for you, did it?” He says, handing you the tablet, “But I think we can start fresh.”
You look down at the tablet and raise an eyebrow. Was this some kind of joke? It was a schedule for a freshman. Typed in bold letters at the top was “exercise science major” with classes already planned for the fall semester.
“What kind of game are you...?” You look up at him.
“What’s wrong?” The career counselor asks, “I thought this is what you’d want?”
“Well, it’s just that...” You look back down at the tablet, but it’s your hands that catch your attention. Are they bigger? Meatier? You shake your head, “It’s just that...”
“Are you having second thoughts about your major?” He asks.
“Yes... no... I mean, I don’t...” Your shirt is starting to feel a bit tighter around your chest, “It’s just that...”
“It’s not uncommon for new students to have doubts. But we want to ensure that you’re happy with your choice.”
“New students? But I’m...” Your sleeves feel tighter around your bulging biceps and triceps, “Wait... since when...?” You run your hand along the veiny muscles of your thick arms.
“This is why we have these meetings prior to you matriculating.” He continues.
“Ma-matricu...?” That word hurts your brain and your eyes narrow.
“It means before you formally enroll.” He says.
“Ah thanks bro.” You chuckle, “But wait... I’m already a student...” You shake your head again, “Seriously, what the fuck?”
“No need to get vulgar.” He says, “It’ll be okay.”
You start to breath faster and you quickly open the camera app on the tablet. The face looking back at you is definitely not your own. It’s younger, more chiseled, and your eyes are dull. But before you can say anything, a loud tearing sound fills the room. You yelp when your shirt falls in tatters around you, leaving your chiseled physique on full display. You whimper as you run your hands along your cobblestone abs and firm, hairless pecs.
“This isn’t... how, bro?” You look up at the career counselor.
“I said not to worry.”
And suddenly you feel a tingling in your brain. You realize your memories are being altered and changed as the last four years of your life are removed. Time spent in class, writing screenplays, and hanging out with your theater friends become hazy. Your time studying Anton Chekhov and Lynn Nottage vanish from your mind. Even personal details start to shift. You’re no longer a 22 year old college senior about to graduate with a theater degree. No, you’re an 18 year old high school senior about to enter college. A single tear rolls down your chiseled face as you realize your passion for theater has been replaced for a dedication to the gym.
“Are you okay?”
Something feels terribly wrong. And as you look down at your toned abs and meaty pecs, there’s a voice yelling deep from within you that this isn’t you. But no matter how desperately you try to remember being anything other than this meaty, smelly jock-bro, there’s nothing else. A dumb smile etches itself on your face.
“Nah man, I’m good.” You chuckle, “Sorry ‘bout the shirt though. These muscles can’t be contained.”
The career counselor smiles, “No worries. Well, we look forward to you starting in the fall. I’m hopeful that this time will yield you great success.”
“Yeah man, sure.” You grin.
And off you went- likely to the gym. Excited for the future and a career you were truly passionate about.
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Okay so I see some people are debating what the monster from Still Wakes the Deep is. I'm inspired by the support from my Death Angel post, so I'm gonna try giving an analysis. Now science is not my strong suit, I'm much better at zoology, but here we go.
Of course, spoilers ahead!
So, the entity comes to light in act one. While Caz is being yelled at by his power drunk boss, Rennick, a worker going by the name Gibbo calls up to say there's an issue with the drill, something highlighted earlier by another worker. Rennick orders the drilling anyway, and thus begins the nightmare, as the drill seems to unearth and awaken a destructive parasite out for revenge. But I don't think that's as deep as it goes, pun intended.
Let's say, the creature is a parasite. A form of near sentient bacteria, though take that description with a grain of salt, I'm no scientist. Parasites simply cannot live on their own. That's an objective fact. They need a host. They exist within another for survival and breeding purposes, and multiply and spread through the body of another.
Parasites, bacteria and even fungi can live underground for years, and have been discovered to do so. Ancient lifeforms have been discovered just under the surface of earth, let alone deep underneath the ground and in the bottom of our oceans, one of the most complex and diverse biomes that our current science has barely scratched the surface of. It's highly likely this creature is a self replicating bacteria or parasite that was unearthed by the drill, and took up new hosts to survive in this change of environment.
But not every host worked. You can see half transformed, mutilated bodies everywhere, and some that haven't even changed at all. These bodies could not support the parasite and shortly died.
However, a few select hosts DID end up surviving; Gibbo, Muir, Rennick, Addair and Trots. It's unclear what sets these people apart from the others, and I don't know enough about this topic to claim an answer. But I certainly do think these folks died soon into the transformation, and are not fully conscious in the body. They frequently repeat terms and phrases, and never say anything you might expect from an entity possessing them, implying it's borrowing words and sentences that have been said by the host before, in other circumstances.
The entity plays with Caz's memories and definitely the others' too, though not all of them good. It wouldn't be a surprise to realise that's where it's getting information about it's host, as it reads the memories inside the brain to learn faces, names, and even the host's personality. Which makes me wonder, does it even realise what it looks like? Does the creature itself actually realise it's a parasite? Or does it completely and fully believe it is the person it's connected itself to? It almost downloads their personality and tries to pretend like everything is completely normal.
Let's talk about arguably the best monster (in my opinion), Muir. Muir moves about the area he frequently worked as what I assume was an engineer. He roams the familiar ground, almost unsure of why he's by himself. He often calls out to his coworkers, wondering out loud why they're treating him like he's different. Sure, this could be the real Muir's consciousness slipping in and out of the seams, but it's highly unlikely he would still be alive. Much like the zombie fungus, as it's often called, the host is not alive when the fungus is controlling it, and is merely a puppet. If the spiders it was corrupting could talk, I daresay, they'd be acting like them. Taking their place in the world, even if they don't realise it.
But every animal needs to eat. And eventually, that body is going to run out of tasty, tasty neurons. Like I said earlier, a parasite needs to spread. It'll breed, then spread to another to keep it's species alive. By infiltrating a 'pack' of animals, it will take anything to spread to the others. Which is exactly what the parasite does whenever it sees another human. Either that, or it will consume them, theoretically to feed the host so it stays alive, while keeping those tasty, tasty neurons for itself. You can almost see this process with Innes, as the elevator ascends without him, and you just faintly see Muir doing something in the distance. Likely consuming him for nutrients, as he was not connected to the parasite yet.
Next, there's Addair.
Addair, much like Muir, patrols familiar ground. Even though Addair himself wasn't even in that area when the drill struck. Now Muir was actively in that familiar space in the beginning, and it's safe to assume that's his place of transformation. But Addair was eating in the cafeteria when the incident happened, not deep down in the engine. Did he go down when the impact happened, while Caz was unconscious? Maybe. But the lights were fine then, and the engine wasn't the problem, so he didn't need a reason to. Plus, he doesn't seem like the type to be work dedicated, more inconvenience dedicated. Considering what I said about the parasite (badly) taking their place in society, did it go to his place of work after detecting that as his 'natural environment', per se?
Plus, unlike Muir, who greets the situation with quotes of confusion, fear and anxiety, Addair is instantly aggressive. Even an asshole like Addair is likely to panic if conscious in this situation, so the nervousness was Gibbo and Muir exclusive. But Addair and Rennick become immediately angry upon seeing Caz, as they actively disliked him in life, and so the parasite processes him as a foe to it's host. I thought that was neat.
Now another take I have admittedly heard from several other people, but I thought was worth mentioning. The monsters are incredibly similar to sea creatures. Which means this underwater bacteria was possibly leaking out already, and transforming our animals, not enough to completely corrupt them, but enough to twist their bodies. Think of the appearances of deep, deep sea creatures, such as the anglerfish. Isn't it possible this parasite was responsible for their uncanny appearance, in this universe? Muir especially looks like a spider crab, or perhaps even a bigfin squid.
Which again, is a deep sea creature. Rennick also reminds me of a blobfish once removed from the pressure of the deep sea. Addair seems very jellyfish-like, but may be something else very... tick-like. And even Trots gives me major merfolk vibes, with how untouched his torso is in comparison to his lower half.
This parasite could have been feeding off the neurons and breeding through our very ecosystem as the ground slowly gave away above it. The drill unearthing the source likely gave it a burst of control as so much energy was released at once, hence why it was so fast to literally spiral out of control.
But Scotland, by all means, is not the only place in the world connected to the ocean. Sure, they destroyed this batch, but other forms of this parasite live on elsewhere on earth. And the explosion may not have even destroyed it. It definitely would've destroyed the host bodies, yes, but certain bacterias can survive impressive damage, even heat hot enough to burn off human flesh. We'd best hope this is not one of those bacterias.
I didn't really get as far with this observation as I did with other horror studies, but I had fun nonetheless! Like I said, I'm really better with zoology (hence the sudden enthusiasm when I started on sea creatures), but I loved Still Wakes the Deep SO much that I just wanted to write down my thoughts. If you have any other theories, feel free to add them!
Also if I used your pictures/gifs and you would like me to add credit, I am so so sorry, I will absolutely add that as soon as you say so, I just got most of these off Google and couldn't find most the original sources. So yeah if you'd like me to add your name and mention, or you want me to remove it in general, feel free to just say and I'll add it, I don't bite I promise. Well... I won't bite YOU.
Sorry sorry, had to make a zombie reference--
#ahhh I was supposed to try sleeping 4 hours ago#insomnia crossed with ADHD is one fun mix#anyway still wakes the deep is an absolutely incredible experience that I highly recommend#here come the tags#still wakes the deep#swtd#muir#addair#gibbo#cameron mcleary#is that how you spell it?#caz mcleary#rennick#trots#long post#game analysis#tw body horror#tw spiders#kinda#muir looks spider-y#tw thalassophobia#for the squid#bigfin squid#zoology#tw gif warning#still wakes the deep spoilers#tw gore
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listen i've had a 100 degree fever for four days and i have not been able to string any thoughts together except for gently rotating Devil's Minion in my brain and the bleary conclusion i have come to is this:
we know armand is a control freak
we know armand has spooky psychic powers of imposing his desired reality on top of other people's lived realities
the interview is happening despite armand supposedly claiming that he thinks it's a bad idea
Armand gives in to participating in the interview awfully quick. including a theatrical reveal of his true self at exactly the right moment for maximum Drama.
therefore, stay with me here, I will argue that armand DOES ACTUALLY want the interview to be happening. Who else is going to be pushing for it? Louis??? If Louis pushed for something Armand didn't want, Armand would simply wipe it from Louis' mind and move on with his day. He has that power, and yet he didn't USE IT in this case. So that means that the little tissue paper objections are mostly for show and to camouflage his true intentions (see also, though: the scene in Paris where Louis comes in and is playing maitre and Armand offers just a teeny resistance of "oooh but i'm looking at Sam's new pages", so it's a documented behavior pattern). There is one exception, but we'll come back to that in a sec.
So then the questions are: Why does he want it to be happening now as opposed to any other time? What is his motivation for having it happen again at all? What changed between 1973 and now that caused this?
(the rest under a cut bc this is gonna get long and i don't wanna clutter people's dashes too much)
my wild fever hallucination theory rn is that armand (my canceled wife who i stand with) is manipulative and psychopathic enough that he may have looked at daniel at some point in the 1970s and said to himself "you know what, the one thing that I would change about him is if he was like 40 years older, because i'm kinda into that, and also maybe he hates me a little bit, because i'm kinda into that as well" and then set Daniel on the back burner to basically finish cooking into the Perfect Daddy Boyfriend.
so why is he doing this whole charade again? Because the first time Daniel had the interview, the end result was "omg omg omg make me a vampire PLEAAASE", right? So Armand's insane little brain is like "ok, so we do it again, and replicate the same results :) and this time i will win and get everything i want, just like always :))))"
Going back to the tissue-paper objections i mentioned above, the one exception that strikes true for me is when Armand tells Louis that he's lost control of the interview. What control? What control, babygirl? what are you trying to control about this interview? what is the goal that isn't being achieved rn? Are you worried that Daniel seems Jaded and Cynical and Unimpressed nowadays? Are you worried that Louis does not seem to be selling the Allure Of Being A Vampire as effectively as he did back then and that Daniel is not going to beg for it like he used to? Armand is so used to being around people who NEVER EVER CHANGE in hundreds of years and so maybe he has forgotten that mortals do change actually. Oh no. Science experiment cannot be replicated. Results are going awry. PANIC.
this would also explain why he keeps explaining himself to Daniel, censoring the diaries, and lying about his involvement in things. could it be that he thinks Daniel won't play along with what he's supposed to be doing (ie: being deeply into him) if he knows upfront that Armand is Fucknuts Crazy?
that is where he is wrong tho. Daniel thinks fucknuts crazy is irresistibly hot. Daniel "I want BOTH [to survive AND the book] >:\" Molloy, aka Daniel "YOU BOTH FUCKED LESTAT? :DDD" Molloy aka Daniel "Fascinating Boy" Molloy loves mess. he loves mess. he's an investigative journalist who interviews KGB agents and the most dangerous people in the world because he's an adrenaline junkie who sincerely loves the thrill of hanging out with people who might kill him. He has been chasing that high since 1973 (and I use that phrasing intentionally). Every time Armand tries to control the narrative and woobify himself and act like he's not absolutely insane bc actually he's innocent and blameless, he is shooting himself in the foot re: the pursuit of his endgame goals. And that's extremely funny to me. Bc Daniel's love language is "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU [enraptured, intrigued, captivated, fascinated]"
and in conclusion, that's why they're the ship of all time, ur honor. defense rests.
(will this make coherent sense once i'm not sick anymore? idk.)
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Hi fellow neuroscientist and animal behavior observer! What's up? It's a weird ass time to be a scientist in the US right now. Like there's the doom and despair taking up most of my brain but also I have a lab presentation in 1.5 weeks and my committee meeting two weeks after that. How do you make yourself focus on lab/science stuff?
I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you; I've been rotating this ask in my mind for over a week now. I hope your lab presentation went well, and I hope your committee meeting does, too. Bear in mind that I am reeling as much as anyone else, but... well, I have had a lot of things happen during my academic career, and I have had some practice with this by now. I was displaced from my home three or four times during grad school, and all but once that was because of climate change related flooding. (I actually cannot remember offhand. That kind of thing fucks with your ability to reckon in chronological time, which is why no one has been able to work out how years work since 2020 at latest.) I did my PhD in Texas, too, which gave me some exciting experiences around campus violence and guns.
But maybe the biggest thing for me is that I started grad school in 2012, right in time for the government sequester of 2013. That was the year Patty Brennan (of corkscrew duck penis fame) published an article in Animal Behaviour laying out helpful tips in case your research is targeted as "wasteful spending" by members of Congress seeking to reduce scientific funding. Brennan's work legitimately is groundbreaking--I started out close enough to her field to be able to say that almost no one was looking at vaginal anatomy when she started and she's really driven the field of reproductive conflict forward by systematically looking at methods by which females exert "cryptic choice" to control their own reproductive futures. But it sounds silly at first blush in a sound bite, so she immediately became a target when her work went viral. And that paper came out a decade ago, and we are no better than when we started.
I've gotten pretty good at working through grief and fear, and I've tangled with burnout more than once. So how do you handle it when everything is overwhelming and frightening?
You sketch out the work you can do, and you do it as best you can. Same as anyone else.
Here's the thing. You're a budding scholar. Whatever your field is, you probably know more about it than anyone who isn't a scholar in your field already, and you care about broader justice or you wouldn't be asking me this. This makes you a precious potential resource for whatever activist cause is nearest and dearest to your heart. You are placed, as a person whose career is focused on the pursuit of knowledge, in a position of great authority. Yes, even as a PhD student, although I do agree that having the PhD makes the things you say even more impactful. But you'd be surprised how far even just "PhD student" can go when you're making a stand.
You are a valuable voice when it comes to the intersection of your expertise and your community--and by that, I don't just mean your discipline and your geographical location; I mean your lived experiences and your identities too. If you burn out, your voice and effort may be completely irreplaceable. So make sure you don't burn out, but don't waste your potential to speak out, either. You can do that by working out what your "beat" is: pick one to two things you care really deeply about working on in the world, that you want to make better, and focus on those. Use your authority to make changes.
Currently, my "beat" is focused on disability justice (especially in terms of neurodivergence) and sex/gender, because those are communities I am part of and that I think deeply about. My work there can take a lot of forms: shoving hard on the pernicious medical thought process that tends to conceptualize disorder and disease as a deviation from a uniform functional population; pointing out the complexity inherent in sex differences and sex itself; building relationships with disabled academics to make networks for one another so that we can better support trainees as well as ourselves building alliances between disability justice scholars and researchers tackling these topics with an eye towards integrating the comments and interests of disabled people into the field of study that theoretically focuses on us. These are topics that tie into my research interests (context dependence, decisionmaking, strategy, developmental plasticity, etc) but also into my sense of justice and the communities in which I spend my life as an autistic queer butch.
Think about the things you care most about making better, and think about how those things intersect with your research interests. Is there a bathroom bill you could write a deposition for explaining how complicated sex actually is? A local news reporter who could use a scientist talking about the long term climate impacts of the new fracking project up the road? A new policy on immigrant familial separation that is going to lead to kids with major attachment issues down the line and increase the odds of terrible outcomes? Creative ways to send promising undergrads from underrepresented backgrounds on for new opportunities if you live in a state where DEI initiatives have been banned? (Man, that was an exhausting conversation to have with the North Carolina folks at my last conference. And the Floridians.) Where will your voice carry the most weight for the amount of energy you allocate to it?
Here's my best stab at practical advice for junior trainees:
Figure out what your limit for practical engagement is and defend it viciously. The thing about being in academia, and about having the PhD for that matter, is that it gives you a lot of leverage for speaking authoritatively about problems in your field and in your community. This, too, can be a form of activism and shaping the world. But if that's the weapon you are making out of your career, you can't also be an effective organizer on the ground for eight different local causes. You can't do everything at once, so pick a limited subset of things to focus on and work on those. Like academia, public impact will suck you dry if you let it, so you have to set boundaries and you have to be clear with yourself about that.
As always with research, your topic should be something you're interested in. Apply your priorities as a human being to your research. Move your project in directions you really care about and which are aligned with your values. Talk with your mentors about how you pitch that to other scientists in your field, of course, but if you're really shaken and scared by the political climate... well, better to apply that to your work than to not be able or interested in focusing on the work at all.
Look for things to celebrate and militantly celebrate them, even if it feels silly. You submitted a manuscript? Make a special dinner. You survived your committee meeting? Meet up with a couple of friends for coffee and cheering. You need things to cheer about, and your job is not going to naturally provide them, so lay out things you can celebrate and celebrate them even if you don't feel like you really achieved anything. (Your PI should help with this, but a lot of them don't. If your PI is absentee, try to find labmates or colleagues to celebrate when you can.) Joy and pride fuel us to keep going; make sure you are feeding them. You do not need money to make this happen, either: there are inexpensive ways to make things feel special, even if your stipend doesn't stretch nearly far enough.
Especially if your lab isn't full of people in your corner, make some friends who feel the same way you do about your "beat". Fellow activists (or just people who care) about your biggest priority are a great choice. Back in the day, I would have exhorted you to join Twitter to build that network; these days, I think most everyone is on Bluesky or Mastodon. You need people who get you and who are in your corner, and you need people who don't have power over your career to help you weather it when the storms rise.
People in the midst of despair don't know the future, either. There will be victories to come moving forward. It will be impossible to imagine them as you are today. The future is murky and uncertain, and you never know what battles you can win until you pitch them. Don't let anyone tell you a battle has been lost until you fight it, and don't make the mistake of thinking that what you do today doesn't matter intensely.
Life is iterative: it always starts from what you do today, and small aggregate decisions have a lot more power over the whole than any individual large one. If you don't like the direction you're going, you can always change direction for a while and see where you go. The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago; the second best time is now.
Find ways to take breaks completely from the political situation. Currently, I have just gotten into Minecraft for the first time, and I am playing a lot of stupid pixelated escapism games. You have to have time to recharge yourself away from all of it. Whatever that looks like to you is good enough. I need, personally, to get back into going for long walks in the woods; that one is one of my old reliable helpful ways to think without getting overwhelmed about it.
So. I don't know if anything has gotten better or worse for you over the last couple of weeks, but I hope for better for you. As for me... well, it's probably time to go back to my grant. We're short on funding going into this mess and who knows if the grant I'm writing for an explicitly DEI-oriented program will survive the coming hammer blows long enough to get it in. Even if it doesn't, I have a couple of book pitches I'll write up and a couple of suggestions for jobs along the way I can take. I can always redirect my effort to a new direction.
Take care of yourselves, friends.
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ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help […] KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science
At this point. Kanaya is Human Sarcasming better than most actual humans.
ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic […] KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science
I think Dave taught Kanaya more about the art of trolling in a single conversation than Eridan could in an entire lifetime.
That guy can troll better than most actual trolls.
ERIDAN: wwhats that thing there KANAYA: The Matriorb KANAYA: I Was About To Go Hatch It In The Core To Restore Our Race ERIDAN: that sounds ERIDAN: hopeful […] ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it […] KANAYA: Fine
I’m all for the construction of neo-Alternia, but I really don't think Eridan should be on the planning committee, unless we also want a neo-hemospectrum.
Honestly, the only trolls I'd really trust to rebuild their society are the bottom half of the hemospectrum, and possibly Gamzee. The other highbloods can go sit in the corner.
ERIDAN: its not magic wwe talked about this kar KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS
I don’t see how Hope translates to a robot-exploding beam, though.
If it was wizards he was blowing up, I’d understand, because it would be consistent with my theory that he's weaponizing his hatred of FRAUDULENT MAGIC. If anything, his Science Wand should strengthen a robot, since it's a product of the TRUEST SCIENCES.
ERIDAN: i had a harder time than anybody wwith this game ERIDAN: it wwas really fuckin unfair wwhat challenges i got saddled wwith ERIDAN: i wwoulda fuckin MURDERED for a land full of a lot a harmless brains and fire ERIDAN: but no ERIDAN: it wwas so lonely ERIDAN: hey guys anybody wwant to come hang out wwith me in the land a wwrath and angels
That sounds cool, though. Angels, I assume, are how Hope is represented in his Land, and I’m sure Eridan synergized well with its wrath. I wonder what physical form it took?
ERIDAN: anybody at all i knoww it isnt anythin like one of your flippin land picnics ERIDAN: anybody please ill evven settle for the kittycat shipper cavve girl
You can't complain about loneliness and then insult your ‘friend’ in the same breath. That's not how any of this works, and the fact that you're unaware of this should tell you everything you need to know about why you're lonely.
So Karkat does know about Nepeta’s little crush. He is a relationship aficionado, after all.
Poor Nepeta.
I sort of figured Karkat didn't reciprocate her feelings. He's preoccupied with plenty of other redrom prospects, and he basically never mentions her.
Karkat’s honestly a little too nice to Eridan. He’s being such a bro here, but what Eridan actually needs is to be brought down to size a little.
Granted, I think Eridan needs a bigger shock to the system than an angry tirade from Karkat. I feel like Terezi could tear him to pieces - but since it's unfair to expect her to put up with him alone, I'd put both the Scourge Sisters on this assignment. >:)
What Karkat is aptly demonstrating here is that there’s a difference between an Eridan kind of asshole and a Karkat kind of asshole.
Let's be real, here - Karkat's a dick. But he's a dick who holds no true malice, knows when he's crossed a line, and is willing to sincerely apologize for his past actions, and make amends.
Eridan possesses none of these qualities, which is why he sat alone in his house for a month while Karkat befriended the entire cast.
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There is something confusing to me about older queer people (which is to say, older than I am, at a relatively young 24 years old) who get mad at original fiction whose worldbuilding involves neopronouns. I'm hoping maybe, ONTF, since you've been in queer spaces a lot longer than I have, you can explain why people have such a negative reaction to the idea.
Basically, I'm working on a novel based that takes white-throated sparrow biology and uses it for building blocks in the same way A/B/O takes (now debunked) wolf science and used it for building blocks. This means there are essentially four genders, the two viewed as more intelligent (brown-haired men and women) and the two viewed as more physical (white-haired men and women). Those two groups then get further divided along the lines of 'women are better at making smart decisions under pressure' and 'men are better at staying home and defending the children, as God intended'.
So it seemed natural to me that this worldwide quaternary system would result in at least some languages having pronoun sets for each of the four options. Some languages in real life have more complicated pronoun systems than that, particularly ones where there's a bunch of formal and informal pronouns. It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly. Yes, these people are human, just as humans in A/B/O are, but society is fundamentally very different. I'm not throwing this in to just complicate things or sound smart or something. It's here because my minoring in Anthropology and majoring in Linguistics taught me language usage reflects the needs and values of a people.
The writing group I'm a part of IRL is mostly queer, mostly 40+, with some cishet women who are also present and active writers. The writing group I'm a part of on DW is mostly DWRPers, in their 30's and up, though no older than 50, and entirely queer. I did not expect these to be groups that were uncomfortable with the idea of "different world, different pronouns".
Instead the reception has ranged from suggestions it's pretentious or overthinking things to requests I reconsider doing it. I've been informed this could be seen as mocking the real life queer people who go by pronouns other than she, he, or they. One person asked if this was went to be me "artificially justifying" nonbinary pronouns and implying I didn't find them valid in the real world. That was an awkward conversation, to say the least.
In reality I wasn't really thinking about real life people who use nonbinary pronouns when I was writing. I was just asking, "Logically, wouldn't it make sense for things to work very differently under a quarternary than it does under a modern European binary?" and following my brain along to its' conclusions as it processed that.
I have gotten zero negative feedback from my queer friends my age regarding this. So obviously, generation and the experiences informing a generational context are key, here. I'm just... still lost on how anyone finds this objectionable.
Help?
--
Ahaha. Oh god.
Well, as a reader of sff in the 90s, the first reaction I have to such things is "IS THERE A CONLANG AND A MAP?" Because, man, the conlang people were some of the most tedious motherfuckers I ever had to deal with in sff spaces.
But broadly... I think the reasons queer people get annoyed about this stuff boil down to a couple of big factors:
Disrespectful children who don't know history
Idiot old people harrumphing about "history" they clearly failed to pay attention to while it was going on in the first place
I personally hate being asked to use new words most of the time. A few bits of fandom slang I'll pick up at once, but I'm usually like "Why would I call it 'spirk'? We already have 'K/S'!" *shakes cane*
If you're American, they're your "roommate", not your "flatmate". No, I don't care how much more precise this foreign term is, you pretentious wanker. (But then I'll use 'wanker' because fandom adopted that years ago...)
So my reaction to being asked to say aloud any pronoun not in very frequent circulation in my offline life is "Urrrgh. Do I have to?"
However, the reality is that people have been messing around with pronouns in English since forever. Do you see 'heo' in Modern English? No, you do not! (Not that it was gender neutral, but the point is that even words as ancient as pronouns have changed quite a bit.) The early internet was full of pronoun stuff in MUDs and the like. You had a choice of a lot more than just three in a bunch of these. People besides men and women have always been in queer communities.
So some people like to cry about neopronouns being actually neo, and they're just wrong.
As for the why do you care part...
There is a nasty habit in contemporary queer spaces to act like gay rights issues are solved. Bisexuality? Passe! etc. Gays and lesbians finally got a little mainstream acceptance only to suddenly be treated like the worst of the establishment by the queer youth. How dare?!?! It's even more egregious with bisexuality where the focus of a bunch of queer activism finally swung that way in the 90s... only to be sharply cut off in the 00s.
There's a real "You already got yours. Where's mine?" vibe to some queer discourse today, and it's directed at people who never got theirs. It shows up in demands for mentorship by people who've barely had a chance to escape a rocky start and figure out who they are themselves. It shows up in yowling about this or that bit of queer media we finally got not being progressive because it's the wrong letter of the acronym.
None of which has a damn thing to do with what pronouns you use in your novel, obviously, but I think some unresolved embattled feelings are why some older queer people are very weird about pronouns.
Some of them are also doing the old person version of throwing the weirdos under the bus to placate the normies. Respectability politics became a term long before the behavior was rife on tumblr.
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If someone really does find it pretentious, though, and not just as a cover for crying about nonbinary identities being fake, I suspect they just remember how 1970s SFF was full of privileged anthropology students misunderstanding kinship systems from elsewhere in the world and then trying to tell everyone how ~deep~ their extremely contrived novels based on them were.
I'm not saying your writing is like this or that every one of these old sff novels was either, but when I hear "anthropology student", I groan internally. It's an instinctive reaction. It's less about the real fields and more about the bevvy of dilettantes I've run into over the years who'll say they study those things but really want to talk my ear off about Joseph fucking Campbell or the strong form of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis or something.
--
Those birds are a really cool source of inspiration. Like with A/B/O, the first thing I wonder is how queerness works in that context and how much people like to defy their designated roles.
Omegaverse started on porn logic, so "The one I say tops always tops!" makes sense. When it gets expanded to try to make it make logical sense as a whole world, I often enjoy it, but it can break down quickly if treated as biology is law. I don't know how often the birds veer off of their set patterns, but humans certainly would.
One place where I get a strong "Oh god, this again" feeling from people's plotbunnies is when they're trying to make up a sff society that strikes me as too rigid in a way that real humans aren't. I'll see people using fake wolf biology (not just for horny reasons) but never looking at what's going on with gender in contemporary Thailand or whatever. Like... Le Guin may have made sedoretus feel plausible, but nobody I've ever seen stanning the concept as something fandom should play with has. That's probably because Le Guin was using over-complicated social norms as a thing that breaks down and causes trouble, and "This should be the next A/B/O!" posts are treating it as something that actually works and is a good way to get the pair you don't ship separated while shipping poly.
"It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly."
This, in particular, gives me that cold shudder of recognition from when Homestuck fandom was everywhere and everyone wanted to over-explain those stupid playing card suits and why I should care.
Your concept sounds neat, and I think a set of four pronouns could easily make sense there...
But I also think that if people need the pronouns to keep track of coloration, you haven't set up a system that feels organic enough or haven't given enough cues about how characters are treating each other or why. Use the pronouns too, but just keep that in mind. It's like the "m/m is hard because the pronouns don't tell me whose hand is where" problem. It's almost never actually a pronoun problem.
--
Anyone else have thoughts here?
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Working on part 2 of Beginnings, but until then here’s a small interlude. You can read the first bit here Part One
“Are you excited to start high school?” Steve feels like every lame adult he’s ever known, but he’s been wanting to have this conversation for a while now, preferably before his gang of nerds walk unprepared into his alma mater.
“I mean, sure.” Dustin says. “They have an amazing media lab and the AP science teachers are supposed to be really good. It’s never too early to think about college! Uh, sorry Steve.”
“Alright, shut it. If I had a brain like yours maybe I’d be in college now.” Steve rolls his eyes affectionately.
“And I heard Nancy say there’s an after-school club for D&D, so that might be okay. I mean, it won’t be as good without Will there but…” Mike trails off, a frown settling on his face.
“Yeah, okay I guess your demons and dingbats thing could be good.” Steve feels vaguely uneasy. Something to do with that club...it probably doesn't matter.
“Well, I’m also trying out for the basketball team.” Lucas adds softly.
“My man!!” Steve grins and holds his hand up for a high five. “I’m around if you want to get some practice in before tryouts. And I've got an in with the coach if you want me to put in a good word for you.”
“Nice! I'm always up for more practice!" Lucas grins back matching Steve's enthusiasm.
"And nepotism," retorts Dustin.
"Okay, brain boy. I don't know what that is, but it sounds gross and we don't have it." Steve smirks and cocks his head before remembering this was supposed to be a serious conversation.
"Anyway...I just wanted to talk to you guys about sticking together and always having each-other's backs." Steve starts and Dustin, of course interrupts, "Obviously, Steve. Who do you think we are?"
"No, man, I know. It's just that it can be pretty intimidating and the bullying can be...more intense than what you're used to in Middle School." Steve conceeds.
"Like you'd know anything about being bullied!" snorts Mike, "You were the bully."
"Uh...well." Steve doesn't want to scare the kids, but he does want them to be prepared. "I was kind of an asshole for a while..."
"Ya think?" Dustin chimes in.
"Shut up and let me talk!" Steve says in his best mom voice. "I had to learn to be harder in school. My freshman year this older kid made me his target and it was pretty awful. It got so bad I didn't even want to go to school half the time."
"That really sucks, man." Lucas gives Steve a supportive look.
"Aw, what, did he call you names? Make fun of your hair?" Mike sneers. He can't help but run his mouth sometimes. He likes Steve well enough, but not like Dustin and Lucas do and he can't stand how they worship him sometimes. Steve isn't that great.
"Dude. He pulled a knife on me for like, no reason. I was fourteen."
"Woah" Dustin just exhales. "So like, is high school....dangerous?" All three boys are seriously paying attention now, eyes wide.
"Nah, not normally. Anyway, it got better once I was deep in with the guys on the basketball team. So I'm just saying. Find a group that has your back. And you guys look out for other kids too, all right? And tell ME if anyone bothers you. I've got a bat that can sort them out."
"Dude....you can't just nailbat a teenager." Dustin snorts.
"I dunno, squirt," Steve ruffles Dustin's hair and he yelps ducking away, "If I find out anyone is messing with you guys....well, maybe not the nail bat, but just...promise to tell me okay? I don't want anyone of you going through what I did."
"We promise." They all chime dutifully.
"Hellfire!" Mike shouts as they all turn to look at him like he's got three heads. "What?" he says, "That's the name of the club."
"Hellfire." Steve mutters. Why does that name make his stomach hurt? He'll probably remember later. Meanwhile he's glad his twerps are going to have a good support system when they start school.
Read Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Tag list (ask if you want to be tagged for the full part 2) @swimmingbirdrunningrock @phirex22 @lilpomelito @thaliaisalesbian
#Beginnings part 1.5#Steve talks about the bullying#Hope no one mentions this to Eddie#Steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#the party
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A Luca x reader would be nice........... preferably slow burn and y/n is the shy type............. I'm hungry................. Thirsty............ Would beg....... Thank you.... *dying*
♡— The Prisoner with a shy S/O
♡— Oh my god… anon… N-N… NO!!!! Anon please, don’t do this to me… breathe. Oh my god. BREATHE!! *sniff* *sob* i’m… I’m so sorry i couldn’t save you, anon…. I hope you’re in a better place now… *sob*
♡— Warnings: g/n reader, fluff, possibly ooc i’m not sure, word count is 1400
♡— Luca Balsa, despite going through a turmoil of tragic events, never did once even try to stop working on his lifelong passion, god forbid even think of it. Yes, around him there were degenerates, murderers, thieves, even mystical, strange creatures - such combinations would drive any man crazy, as if anyone in here already wasn’t. But after all, finding something you could get absorbed in is the best method for killing time, don’t they say? Not even his developing issue with memory loss can stop him now.
♡— That’s why the prisoner, most of the time, could be found in the comfort of his own dorm, sitting by the desk while brain storming for yet another solution to the new experiment he was currently developing. And to be frank, he did quite like it this way. He had his own corner in the world, didn’t need to worry about money, could eat delicious meals and could even discuss some scientific matters with a few other enlightened individuals. And the prize for winning the game was even more tempting. Just imagine how much quicker he could develop his project with all this cash.
♡— Despite all the focus on his own dreams and scientific infatuations, Luca didn’t stray from engaging in interactions with other people. He’s certainly considered as one of the friendliest and most cheerful people in here. Some wonder if anyone im here ever managed to get on his nerve. He’s just very tolerable towards most, if not all, however, clearly he feels most comfortable near people who are willing to listen to his info-dumps, or engage in smart conversations, ask questions and give suggestions. There weren’t much residents in the manor like this. Most are either uninterested or too weirded out, therefore the prisoner always appreciated the open minded ones.
♡— Sadly, Luca’s past whereabouts left a permanent scar on him, making him a little unaware to some social cues. This man can not pick up on someone being painfully visibly attracted to him. He assumes all people willingly interacting with him are either friendly or just curious. Luca likes showing off and exchanging ideas with his mentor Alva, asking Helena for advice and letting her touch all of his tools or projects, trying to connect nature with science together with Luchino, or even explaining his ideas to the suspiciously fascinated Florian.
♡— And then there was you. A person very shy, awkward even. Everyone didn’t mind your presence, you just existed in your own bubble, in silence. Sometimes, someone would try to include you in some conversation, and while you did appreciate the gesture you just couldn’t grasp why you felt so uncomfortable, barely able to form a meaningful sentence. That was until you first encountered a young, quite charming in his own way man personally. You instantly became fond of Luca Balsa. Something about him just radiated pure happiness. He genuinely wanted to talk with you, sensing your anxiety, and you have no idea whether it’s for better or worse, because, oh God - he made you feel butterflies in your stomach and needles in your heart. You’ve got a crush on the Oletus manor’s „Prisoner”.
♡— You didn’t know what to do. The newly discovered feelings for the boy made your anxiety far more intense than it already was. Something in your head just screamed to not get too attached, after all, this is Luca Balsa we’re speaking of, he most likely doesn’t view you as anything else but a companion in matches. But, of course, the heart always does whatever it wants, ignoring the brain. That’s how you found yourself standing in front of his dorm doors, reflecting on if it’s alright for you to knock on them. What if he’s too busy right now and you’re just going to be a burden? This was a part of your mastermind plan - try to get into his interests and become a closer friend, and then…. maybe the friendship could bloom onto something else? You were in deep wonder, unaware that the doors are now open and Luca was waving his hand in front of your face. Earth to you.
♡— Either way, you spent some quality time with him together. He was very pleased to hear that you wanted to find out more about his projects and shared several insights related to his future plans. His dorm felt oddly cozy. You didn’t even realize that visiting Luca became some sort of a habit of yours, entering his workplace nearly on a daily basis - it made you forget about all the atrocities you witnessed during the bloody games. His voice was so soft and gentle, his eyes beamed as you kept asking questions about what is he doing right now. Luca felt so glad to elaborate and ramble about his passion. He’d even offer you to help him, giving you simple tasks as asking you to bring a certain tool. He was well aware of your shyness, so he was as understanding as he could, not forcing anything onto you. One day, Luchino teasingly called you „Luca’s little assistant”. The intense colour of your cheeks spoke for itself. You were head over heels.
♡— Quickly enough, your small acts of kindness turned into something way more serious. At one point, you felt like Luca’s own caretaker, because he was literally too absorbed in his work to pay attention to his own well-being. After you began frequently assisting him in not only helping to build some programs, you just took care of his needs. While Luca would love to stay up all night and didn’t like when people complained about it, oddly enough, he didn’t hesitate to tuck himself into his bed after you offered the prisoner too. You made sure he went outside and ate enough. Simple gestures like that were your own way of showing him affection, as you were too shy to be verbally affectionate.
♡— The whole situationship was now taking way too long. You were absolutely crazy over Luca, while he viewed you as a good friend and a fast learning companion. Everyone could tell you were following him like a lost puppy outside of matches, and he didn’t mind it at all. You just wished he would finally pick up on your real intentions, but at the same time you felt worried. What if he won’t talk to you anymore? What if there will be weird tension between the both of you if you confess? On one ordinary day, you were sitting by his desk as always, silently reading the notes hanged on the cork board while Luca came to you and asked to help him draw a technical sketch in his work notebook, to which you agreed to. After months of practice in his dorm you already knew how to properly draw a project on a piece of paper with accurate proportions - yet this certain sketch was new to you, you weren’t quite sure how to do it. That’s when Luca held your hand and guided it, helping you be more precise, and what an amazing, ecstatic feeling it was, his hand contained a specific, electric even, feeling on top of that. You blushed so hard you were surprised Luca didn’t even notice, but you knew you can’t be with him this way. You were hurting yourself by not telling the truth.
♡— This is how you found yourself sitting on Lucas’s desk, looking down and fidgeting with your fingers after telling the prisoner to listen for a minute. The whole thing was so stressful you can barely remember anything from that moment, not sure if it’s because of your own anxiety or if it’s the curse of this wicked place you’re stuck in. Either way, your confession to him was probably the most awkward one this Manor has ever seen - and it certainly saw a lot. Luca was surprised he didn’t manage to connect the dots for so long. He was focused on all the wrong things and failed to notice your affection towards him. Those were a few painful months, but he was going to make sure you know he appreciates all the help, not only on the projects, but also helping him take care of himself. Luca asked you for permission to kiss you while holding your hand, which you agreed to, feeling happy like never, making all your shyness go away for once… which did not last long, as Florian entered the room without knocking, making a loud „EWW” sound. Luca was going to make sure no one will interrupt you, scribbling something about a doorbell in his notebook right after kissing you like his life depended on it. Turns out, Luca Balsa now has found something to look forward to in his life other that science and innovative inventions - which was you.
Thank you for your request anon… i hope you can read this fic in the afterlife at least… anyways this my first time writing a fic for a character i’m not very familiar with. I tried to be as accurate as i could so i’m sorry if it’s ooc 😭 anyways it’s 2am now… idv x reader tag how are you doing on this lovely summer night
#idv#identity v#idv x reader#identity v x reader#luca balsa#luca balsa x reader#idv prisoner#idv luca balsa#idv x you
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For the trope mashup thing whatever: arranged marriage and neighbors 👀 - CX
again not one i would've picked but thank you for prompting it !! this also uh, got longer than i thought.
(from the prompts mash up - still taking submissions)
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“What do you mean your visa’s running out?” Lando asks.
“I’m Australian. Not a magician. Commonwealth only gets you so far.”
“I thought you were here on a scholarship.”
“Well. Yeah. But scholarships stop. Once you graduate.”
Lando toes the doorway rug. It feels weird to be talking about this in the middle of the hallway, though the only other person who would be listening might be Mrs. Kapoor, and half the time it’s only because she sticks her head out to ask if Lando or Oscar would take one of her mystery vegan curries. Lando is neither a huge fan of vegan food nor curry, and he trusts Oscar’s word for it that it’s good because they eat it while playing Gran Turismo at Lando’s place. But Lando always accepts the curries nonetheless, because his parents raised him to be polite, and he wasn’t raised in a barn. (Even if he technically grew up in converted farmhouse in the countryside, but that was besides the point.) Either way, this is slipping away from him much quicker than he’d anticipated. Late night hangouts, dropping mail and post-it notes, text messages about the community garden. The most inane smalltalk about things big and small from the origins of moths to whether aliens were out there or just chose to ignore the +44 area code. Oscar always laughing in the right places when Lando regales him about tales of his terrible online dating stories, Oscar always picking the pickles out of the roast beef bagels before he passes one to Lando. The corner of Lando’s sofa that Lando has started to think of as Oscar’s because he’s there so often, reading one of his books or trying to speedread a JSTOR article about the lifecycle of urban pathogens while Lando worked on artwork for his upcoming store launch.
Lando’s synapses are firing too fast. His brain did that most days, and that was what made him exceedingly good at his job, and today in particular - it doesn’t feel like there’s any logical way out.
Lando remembers that movie they watched once though. As a joke. The one they both pretended not to enjoy, with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds in Alaska. The one they watched when Oscar sat next to Lando on the sofa, and they both pretended the entire night that their knees weren’t touching.
His therapist said he had a tendency to get ahead of himself when under stress. But it’s a joke, it’s not serious, there’s no way—
“We could just like, get married.”
Lando shoves his hands in his pockets. That came out way more calm and cooler than he thought it actually would. And to his credit, Oscar doesn’t drop his mug of tea. Lando knows that’s his favourite one, because Lando got it for him, and it says Science is my superpower. Oscar does, however, slightly shift his grip on the mug.
“I feel like it’d be complicated to explain to my mum why I randomly married my upstairs neighbour?”
“But it’s not a no.”
Oscar tilts his head. There’s a glimmer of something focused, maybe even hungry in his eyes. Oscar gets like that when his mind turns, when he’s working on an especially difficult thesis, when the pieces are forming and he can lock into the crucial details.
Lando is a little alarmed at how much he already recognises it, and how much more often he’d like to draw that reaction out.
“If the facts don’t fit the theory, then reexamine the facts. Right?” Oscar says.
And Lando is there, in the doorway. Conscious that Mrs Kapoor might’ve heard everything, but all the more conscious that there’s a hammering in his heart that he can’t tell is nervousness, or anticipation.
What’s the stress limit for a joke you’re probably already pushing too far? Lando thinks.
He isn’t sure.
But maybe it’s a thesis worth testing out.
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(and ok maybe i cheated a little on arranged marriage but i think this is the closest i could get with the contemporary context. thank you @cx-boxbox for the prompt <3)
#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#ln4#op81#mctwinks#twinklaren#f1 rpf#wiz.askbox#wiz.promptfills#<- don't even know if i use this tag lmao but only one way to find out#green card marriages man what a tried and tested excellent trope#also one i've never written before!! so thanks or letting me dabble in the drabble#prompt game#wiz.HCs#why do picture blocks conspire against me lately#they just get so aggressive when i try to put 3 in a row on this device#anyway#yapping
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shifting tips / advice that don’t suck !
♡getting offline.
i know i know it’s hard, but being bombarded with different information about a certain topic can be so overwhelming & create room for overthinking which can effect performance. looking in places outside of shiftok or shiftblur or shift whatever. putting more effort into trying to figure out what something is instead of doing it will drive you insane because there is no answer to what shifting is. hence, “theories” & shared experiences. there is no concrete reasoning to shifting backed by science so don’t try & find them or you’ll be looking forever.
♡music.
did you know you can use music to manipulate memories ? the brain is so so bad at remembering things due to how much information we consume daily. when you visualize & listen to a sound or music, your brain can register that as a memory.
♡smell.
this one also aligns with the one above. smell is heavily tied to memory, also. by watching a show we are shifting to & pairing it with a certain scent like a perfume or candle, we can create a link between the two. then, spraying during shifting attempts can help us visualize & associate that piece of media with where we’re focusing on.
♡shadow work.
find out why you’re shifting. happiness ? you don’t need to shift for that. love ? you don’t need to shift for that. if you want to that’s fine but is shifting a bandaid for something deeper ? discover that. really think & consider where you’re going & if you’re in the right mentality to handle it. you aren’t in a television show episode or an oc, you’ll be a living human being in a very real & interactive world. figure out your intentions.
♡put in effort.
this may be a little obvious but you have to want to shift, to shift. you have to put in work & effort to shift & take another approach if doing the same method 10x over hasn’t worked for you. “we shift every second” sure but you didn’t shift into your desired reality in the past thirty. “im saying an affirmation & rolling over & hoping ill wake up in my dr” & how has that worked out for you ? just because this has maybe worked for other people, doesn’t mean it'll work for you. everyone is different. people require more time & effort to get something right then others just like subjects like art or english come easier to students.
♡perfection.
not everything has to be perfect. script isn’t completed ? so what ? you’ve been saying “im not ready yet” for the five months. don’t put off good things out of fear of them not being exactly how you want it because it will never be perfect because perfection isn’t real. if you don’t have everything figured out — that’s fine. why ? because life will sort itself out. this remains true right here & in your desired life. if it’s any comfort, everything will fall into place.
♡neutrality.
if you’re someone who wakes up after an attempt saying “i’ll never shift, i hate this reality” then you’re kinda sabotaging yourself in a way. your creating the mindset that this is the “bad” place when shifting is “good”. that’s not true. everything is entirely neutral until you define it as such. in addition, you are focusing more on the “haven’t” & giving that more attention to & what you give attention to will only grow until it’s so big you can’t see anything else.
♡listening.
people who want things don’t sit & complain about not having them, they persist & would do anything to get their desires & live in that reality. instead of saying “i didn’t shift” & sulking about it, take it as a learning experience to see what does & doesn’t work for you; your body is showing you what not to do so listen to yourself.
#desired reality#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shiftok#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifter
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