#like we made this shit up?? like humans just decided that
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Regarding the online left and moral OCD, how is that not cancel culture? In all seriousness? I know it's a somewhat loaded term and used as a catch all for a lot of irrelevant shit, but isn't that exactly the same system of values that leads people to send hate mobs after each other in the name of "accountability"?
"cancel culture" refers, in a pretty flawed way IMO, to one tactic that people use, not to the wider cultural phenomenon being critiqued here.
like yes, people make public call outs, and they do that for a variety of reasons that cant all be summed up easily -- everything from bringing attention to an exploitative employer or abusive boss to attempting to get an incredibly vulnerable poor trans woman kicked out of housing.
I do not think it's helpful to equate all of those things.
I'm firmly of the position that public callouts rarely work or bring anything but terror to the accuser, so they're rarely worth doing, but there is a HUGE difference between a group of Black trans people making a post calling out the security of the local queer community center for being racist and, like, a mob of anonymous strangers deciding they all hate a mentally ill trans person because of one weird post they made and pressuring others to socially ostracize that person.
like. a callout/cancellation is just a tactic, it kinda sucks and doesnt work mostly, and it can and has also ruined people's lives.
but that's just one part of the larger issue we are talking about here.
we're not just talking about calling people out and cutting them off, we're also talking about performing immense guilt regarding any small human behavior or feeling that has not been morally optimized, splitting hairs over the ethicality of choices so granular as to be meaningless, correcting other people on minute language differences, imposing western/united states oppression frameworks onto completely different cultures and situations, interpreting all vague statements in the worst possible faith, holding a person responsible for any conceivable negative interpretation or unacknowledged caveat to anything they say, demanding the performance of negative emotions such as grief and exhaustion and rage, pathologizing positive emotions such as joy and pleasure, denying individuals any right set boundaries over how they spend their time, convincing people that any moment not spent consuming upsetting information is an abdication of duty, immense focus upon individual effort with little regard for collective power or systemic change, victim blaming, self obsession, self loathing, associating a person's appearance or mannerisms or sexual proclivities with their goodness as a person, a permanent suspicion of the "other," a lack of faith in humanity, and on and on.
so i think it's a lot more complicated and deep than just people making incendiary call out posts online. but then, i did write a book on all this.
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bro convertion rate is insane, I sometimes forget money can like, do that
#that one thing is worth more or less in a country is like so weird#like we made this shit up?? like humans just decided that#thats fucking weird#anyway im so sorry to anyone who lives in a country w insane conversion rate and so have to spend an ungodly amound of money#just to get merch#when here its eyah a lot of money but like#justifyably expensive yk#kyle.txt
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I mean sure, I can understand this perspective, but I'm not sure whether most people feel less shaken to be thrust into conversations about "self-unaliving" than conversations about "suicide"
and I for one as a survivor would much rather unexpectedly encounter somebody talking about "rape" than somebody talking about how funny it is to have sex with somebody when they don't want to, a normal thing that doesn't need to be named because it's So Normal.
which is to say. this is a post about words. the words are not the distressing thing about the discussion. the distressing thing is the distressing thing about the discussion. sugarcoating, dodging or renaming the distressing thing doesn't make it less distressing but it DOES often make it harder to have a frank discussion about it or address it in serious terms.
[pinch of salt: solid probability from their blog that this person is a Literal 14 Year Old and the perspective from 30 and 14 are very different. I do stand by all the points I'm making but I think this conversation lands a lot different for people at different life stages - there is something to be said for the general issue that the internet has flattened social groups to the degree that I as a 30 year old can make a post to my audience of largely adult millennials that immediately enters the same conversational space as people half my age and still in school. that seems. ungreat. as the primary way we engage in conversation. but I don't have solutions to offer.]
you gotta be able to say "die"
you gotta be able to say "suicide"
you gotta be able to talk about "sex"
they're uncomfortable topics, YEAH for SURE
because LIFE is uncomfortable. Death and suicide and sex and pain are straight up going to happen. not having words for the way it discomforts you doesn't make it more comfortable, it just makes you less able to reach out about it.
even more vital, you gotta be able to say words like "rape", "abuse", "queer" or "racist". cause we fought fucking hard to name those experiences. to identify "rape" as distinct from "sex" and "racism" as distinct from "acceptable behaviour" and "queer" as distinct from "invert"
like the function of communication is not to minimise immediate discomfort. we gotta be able to talk about stuff that's hard or sucks or causes difficult conversations.
#red said#i also wholeheartedly disagree with the rest of your post#all entertainment is political. all of it. because politics is the models we use to describe how we interact as a community#and art is inherently communal. so it's inherently political.#that doesn't mean all entertainment has to be a Pure Political Statement. some stuff is just dumb because dumb shit is fun.#but like it's not. detached from the world. and a lack of political intent doesn't mean it's utterly unchallenging.#ok for example. have you ever. enjoyed watching a cheesy 80s zombie movie and it is gory and stupid and great#but then there's a scene where maybe there's a really fucked-up implication about what we as an audience are meant to think#or a rape scene played for light laughs. or whatever your line is.#and they meant it to be fun. you watched it for fun. but you're not having fucking fun any more. there's a bad taste in your mouth.#contrast. sometimes i am reading a nonfiction article for work or something. it is miserable and grim it is about homelessness and dv#but the writer has put it together so well and made their point so clearly you're like YES! YES! THAT'S IT!!!!#and even beyond that like. i am a disabled multiple rape and abuse survivor. i have been through a non zero amount of The Shit.#and a lot of the stuff i find most entertaining and relaxing is stuff that acknowledges that as a Thing Which Happens#like I'm a nerd man. i like video essays about misogyny and fascism and reactionary homophobia.#i like films that make me cry bc they touch an emotional raw spot. i like tiktoks where people joke about their experiences of abuse#i like SFF stories about trauma and survival and sad robots#and yeah you know sometimes i want to watch a comedy panel show or a tiktok of bottles rolling down stairs#but effective entertainment is a conversation! comedy and chill vibes rest on like. deciding what to riff on#and who your anticipated audience is. and nah actually that's not apolitical and also#identifying common human experiences like death or trauma or marginalisation as inherently Political and therefore Unfun#misses the point that like. the question isn't what you acknowledge but how you acknowledge it.#as a rape survivor. for example. i don't necessarily want to open tiktok to a lecture on rape culture.#but i might well stick about for a standup routine about being a survivor of rape#and i will absolutely bounce from a vid where nobody mentions rape bc they think what they're talking about is fine when it's. rapey af.#anyway. this is a sidebar cause even if i agreed about entertainment v politics my main point would still stand#but i very much don't agree and i think you need to maybe look at how you approach entertainment media as neutral#but also i feel very strongly about this and not to harp on the like aS A sUrViVoR thing but#AS A SURVIVOR my fucking LIFE includes ''dark topics'' like suicide and rape. and i don't appreciate how often that's treated as#an unfair imposition to speak about or acknowledge. 'dark shit' is inescapably a major part of my life/self AND I'm funny + entertaining
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Man... the vast majority of people just uh... do not get geopolitical stuff at all
#I was watching a show that... mhh... I don't know if it used to be good; but it was enjoyable; and then the last season was bad#(like... they forgot how to write it... I... assume some corpo meddling)#anyway; the finale for the whole show thankfully did end up being pretty good despite being mixed in the writing#cause it really did show a lot of respect for the past with the show and brought back a lot of one off characters in ways that worked#but... and this is what the post is about; China had developed a new bunker buster; and someone stole it#and they were gonna use it to start world war 3 (it turns out by... blowing up a damn in russia)#and... a) no one gives a shit about a new bunker buster; like yeah in that situation the US would rather China didn't have it#but the US doesn't like the fact that China's working on hyper sonics; and frankly no one likes anything anyone does#every country's ideal game plan is they get the ultra mega doom weapon and everyone else isn't even allowed sticks#but no one's really gonna care about a bunker buster; and it's unlikely to even be a game changer#between probably expense and... the existence of bunker busters already; and a finite number of hardened targets worth hitting...#just a bunker buster doesn't matter; it really doesn't; neither in terms of starting a war nor in terms of military application#it's like how F-16s have been good for Ukraine; ...whatever the acronym for attackems is good for Ukraine#(sorry; HIMARs and such are easy to remember; but it's like... ATKMs? I'm not looking that up)#but none of them are single handedly winning the war; russia's 'hypersonics' aren't doing shit#systems definitely matter; but you're not going to have one that just totally tips the state of the world#second though... that's not going to start ww3; russia blew up a damn in Ukraine and no one even gave a shit#(it's horrific; to be clear I'm furious at the lack of international response; we should have made it a clear red line on par with a nuke)#(but we didn't; despite the massive ecological devastation it caused; not to mention human lives lost; I'm so so so angry)#but even though the world values russia more... it would raise tensions; and there would be saber rattling but...#sorry; I don't think you could really frame this is something the US did and it would mostly just escalate tensions#just not believable in the slightest#no... what would be very bad is if China ever decides to invade Taiwan; if anything would be the spark it would be that#though even then it's likely to be more localized with US intervention (if our useless asses can even do that)#...that right there is one of the scariest actual... flash point situations on the table#(and the west has totally failed because the best way to make sure that didn't happen would have been overwhelming support to Ukraine)#(send a clear message that invading your neighbor gets your teeth kicked in by the west as they funnel unlimited military aid in)#now hopefully China never does that... but... that's the really scary one#not that there's not a lot of bad all over the world but like...#the middle east... while it has effects everywhere (most of all on the people living through things)
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Sometimes I really need to keep my mouth shut
#was at my friend’s house for tea#her mum mentioned she has a doctor’s appointment next week which kind of unfortunately coincides with my friend’s daughter#getting out of school. and my friend has to work that day#they were both scrambling around and arguing like ‘well can’t you cancel the appointment’ ‘can’t YOU cancel the shift’ etc#(kid can’t walk home by herself. she’s 4 and honestly an agent of chaos)#so i was like ‘uhhhh third idea? maybe i could take her to the park and we could just be there until her grandma gets out of the appointment#so now i am. doing this. apparently#the school and the park are really close by each other and the kid looooves the park and also seems to love and trust me#for god’s sake i put her to bed tonight because her mum was getting ready for work#it’s just being out in public. as the only responsible adult in charge of a child. that is not mine. and she can run around#and has a mind of her own. PROBABLY nothing will happen but my brain has already started to foresee scenarios#where she decides to run into traffic or something. and i’m like ellen WHY did you volunteer for this. this type of shit is EXACTLY#why you made the decision to not have kids. it’s the responsibility for another human life#i think what i need to do is put in a failsafe. ‘if you hold my hand the entire way to the park you can have a lollipop’ (of course for this#i have to bring a lollipop). then if she gets bored of the park before her grandma shows up i will pull up youtube on my phone#i mean the ultimate failsafe is 999 but hopefully it won’t come to that because the last time i called 999 they put me on fucking hold#(my mum was having a horrendous asthma attack. i didn’t just call them recreationally)#i know there’s someone thinking ‘why not just drive her somewhere’ i don’t have a car OR her carseat babes#i also can’t ride a bike. it’s really fun being an utterly useless childless adult. i really enjoy being good for nothing#here’s hoping her grandma’s appointment takes like 10 seconds and she then motors to the school and renders me redundant#i guess i could bring someone with me but i SHOULD be able to handle this on my own. for god’s sake she’s 4 years old#personal
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FINALLY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO!!!!!! thoughts feelings?
i ran out of tags.. continued next post mayb
#strrambles#☄️#final checkpoint took me 5 or 6 crashes#maybe even 7#so got a bit fed up there#but we made it eventually!#canon leaves out a lot of my turmoil and shit which is understandable.. if they showed the 500 breakdowns i had during these series of#events the players would say im edgy again LOL#yall i just wanted to be left to my own devices truly and weep somewhere unnoticed#which is why i kept trying to go off on my own LOL#but also because i cant have my boy commit patricide#speaking of which. i was really conflicted because it was clear big bro had no humanity left#and he was quite literally massacring our homecity#but like. he’s my most important person. my reason if you will. and i wish i was as altruistic as father was#because i frankly could not empathise with most humans#so there you have me. who has lived for the last 12 years in a weird not really living state (which i have to say improved bc of my beloved#nephew </3)#THEN out of nowhere the guy i love the most suddenly comes back to existence#i thought id killed him for good! and wallowed in depression for a decade!#like understandably id be conflicted whether or not to kill him again right?#so i go in#skeptical and all. you know. thinking maybe if it was really him. i could save him this time (hes never let me help him)#and boom. its not him. well its him. but the thing that made him him is gone and so hes truly dead and theres no coming back#and im all ok then lets lay you to rest buddy. maybe ill finally get a body to bury this time? fourth times the charm!#so i decided that i was going to commit fratricide again for the 3rd time#and on the way id accepted the fact. it did take all those breakdowns but i accepted it. and then he fucking MERGES BACK INTO HIMSELF?#my anger was through the fucking roof man. along with relief. and love. a lot of love.#anyway so bless my nephew. i love you you fixed us#partially#and for once im so. so filled with joy. for the first time i felt something. in about 6 years since the fourth game
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Solas, outnumbered seven to one, overpowered by a lot more than that, betrayed by his best friend Mythal who bound him to her service and coerced him into leaving the Fade and coerced him into making a weapon that would make an entire people tranquil to stop the war she started AND ignored him when he said it would create *checks notes* a blight and made him do it anyway. Solas, facing seven blighted wannabe gods who turned on his best abusive friend Mythal when she finally stood up to them after CENTURIES of him begging her to do just that and starting a rebellion to free all their multitudes of slaves: *creates the veil, imprisons the blight and the Evanuris, and preserves all life in Thedas* World: FUCK THE DREAD WOLF, GOD OF TREACHERY AND LIES *worships the Evanuris and their dragon thralls*
Solas: zzzzzzzzzz (knocked out cold from saving the world for LITERALLY SEVERAL MILLENNIA MORE)
Tevinter: *razes what's left of Elvhenan, steals all their magic, enslaves the elven people for entire length of Solas's world-saving-induced coma*
Also Tevinter: *breaks into the fucking black city and brings out the blight*
Also also Tevinter: *uses so much blood magic that the veil ends up in tatters*
The Blight: >:)
World: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *throws everything they can at the blight, including--*checks notes again*--the blight
Orlais: you know what sucks? elves. let's kill them all
Ferelden: good shout, mes amis
Orlais: you know what also sucks? mages. put them in prisons.
Ferelden: you're full of good ideas when you're not invading us
Free Marches: MAGE PRISON, YOU SAY?
Orlais: add templars who can decide to murder them or make them tranquil on a whim at any moment
Ferelden and Free Marches: *frantically taking notes*
Rivain and Nevarra: we're just going to be...over here...
Blights 1-5: i've got a great idea i've got a great idea
Blights 1-5 after a while: my great idea didn't work :(
Archdemons 1-5: ....... :(
Evanuris 1-5: ......... :(
Solas, waking up in 9:40ish Dragon: what the...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING FUCK. they can just KILL MAGE CHILDREN? AND PURGE ALIENAGES? AND ALMOST EVERY ELF IN TEVINTER IS A SLAVE? *absolutely rabid, seeks out the Dalish, as remnants of his people*
The Dalish, at Solas: *ARROWS*
Solas: ......fuck this shit, fuck all of this shit, fuck these tyrants in particular, fuck this fucking...UGH
The veil, after all this: (o.O:0oO.)
The remaining blighted Evanuris and the 99% of blight that did not escape: :)
Solas: well, that is a problem, going to need to address that ASAP, but turns out millennia of coma doesn't leave a spirit spry
Corypheus, busting out of warden jail: I AM FREE
Solas: hm, could kill that guy letting him unlock my orb, since he broke into my blight prison in the first place and defo deserves dying
Corypheus: veil needs a certain je ne sais quoi, a...bigger hole. i will make one.
Wardens: yes, good plan, blighted magister man. we are in control of the blight inside us and also heroes *in death, sacrifice = divine justinia's ritual sacrifice under thrall*
The veil:
O
Corypheus: >:( but like...not dead
Solas: well, i did not see that coming
Lavellan: *in chains, threatened with execution*
humans: KNIFE EAR >:(
Lavellan: *hole in the sky, hole in her memories, hole in her fucking hand* fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wait, this hole in my hand helps close holes in the SKY
Solas: *.* It seems you hold the key to our salvation
Lavellan: i'm sorry what
humans: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!! *falls to knees*
Lavellan: I'M SORRY WHAT
Chantry: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra: time for you to decide the fate of the world
Lavellan: I'M. SORRY. WHAT???????? you know what? fine. *stops alexius from blood magicking his way through redcliffe and time itself, gets punted into a hellscape of nightmares and makes it back with the help of a rebel tevinter mage* the mages i rescued from becoming probable slaves to tevinter are our allies and dorian is my new best friend for being the only reason i made it back alive and the whole world didn't die *dabs*
Cassandra: >:(
Mother Giselle: >:(
Lavellan: ffs
Corypheus: *dragon temper tantrum*
Lavellan: *somehow escapes both dragon and Corypheus, trudges through blizzard, collapses*
Mother Giselle: *.* I FEEL A SONG COMING ON
Literally everyone but Solas: *falls to their knees*
Solas: a word?
Lavellan: OH THANK HEAVENS
Solas: these people are wack and aren't going to like that Corypheus is using elven magic *cough*, they're a hairsbreadth from executing us at all moments lol, btw here's a castle, you know, for you cos i highkey see myself in you and god i'm so fucking lonely
Lavellan: me too but wait, what the fuck is happening. you know what? fuck it. solas, what if we kissed,,, in the fade
Solas: what IF we kissed,,, in the fade *fade tongue*
Solas: ...you continue to surprise me. you show a wisdom i have not seen...since my deepest journeys into the fade!
Lavellan: don't you dare walk away from me now
Solas: okay vhenan i stay
Vivienne: this is a DEMON and NOT A PET
Lavellan: *blinks* right, no, this spirit kid who is the literal only reason we escaped Haven alive is my son now. if he hadn't read roderick's mind we'd all be avalanched or blighted dragoned, so SUCK IT UP
Vivienne: >:(
Cassandra: >:(
Sera: >:(
Bull: >:(
Varric: >:(
Solas: :D
Wardens: btw we're doing blood magic and raising an army of demons. not really our fault but also not NOT our fault? idk, blight in the blood, morally grey area. get it? grey...war--never mind, we'll be at adamant xoxo
Cullen: lotsa soldiers gonna die
Lavellan: fuck, is there another choice?
Advisors: ...no
Cory's dragon: *burninating the adamant, burninating the wardens, burninating all the people and this crumbling ROCKY BRIIIIIIDGE! CRUMBLING ROCKY BRIDGEEEEE*
Lavellan, flying through the air hundreds of feet towards the ground: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *opens a rift into the fade*
Everyone but Solas: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WE'RE IN THE FADE
Solas: we're in the FADE!!!!!
Lavellan, after escaping the nightmare's lair: glad half the team is pissed at me, what's next, an imperial ball? how hard can that be?
Orlesians: they invited an ELF SAVAGE >:(
Lavellan: you know what, fuck this and fuck Celene for genociding the entire Halamshiral alienage and fuck you, Gaspard, you can be Briala's little French Orlesian bulldog
Half the Inquisition: *shocked pikachu*
Morrigan: allow me to shemsplain all of elven history to everyone, including Solas, yourself, and all the ancient elves in this temple
Lavellan: you know what? okay. *rubs at Mythal's vallaslin, makes eyes real big* who is this "Mythal"
Solas: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra, muttering: i do not want to do a ritual to a false god
Morrigan: lemme have the well, lemme have it, i deserve it more than you
Lavellan: ...abso-fucking-lutely not *drinks from the well out of pure spite*
Solas: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, VHENAN
Lavellan: idk vhenan, this world sucks and i wanna make it better and i love you
Solas: ...you are everything and you inspire me, hurry, i need to tell you i'm the dread wolf but am going to break up with you and remove your slave markings instead and btw they're basically a drawing of me in my true form and honestly, this whole thing is real fucked up and you're the only real person in my entire life who sees me
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i'm bad and don't deserve you and had to harden my heart to save the world before and everyone hated me for it so i'm projecting when i say you must harden your heart to a cutting edge to kill Corypheus, I'll explain after we kill him
Lavellan: ...oh yeah guess we should do that but I gotta go meet Mythal first
Solas: wait what
Mythal: *is Morrigan's mum, is only mostly dead, also 100% cool with overriding her servants' will entirely for shits and giggles, 0/10 do not trust* i'll help you if you fight this dragon lol
Morrigan: *choking in the corner*
Corypheus: *has a mahoosive temper tantrum when Mythal's pet dragon kills his pet dragon, dies*
Solas: ;-; ilu, inky, what we had was real but i'm afraid to do to you what Mythal did to me. I MUST AWAY
Lavellan: ....
World: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*some restrictions may apply, like in a couple years we're going to forget everything you did and be real mad at you
Solas, somewhere: been there, vhenan
World, two years later: :D we're here to hate you, right on schedule
Qunari: you are in need of the gentle path. therefore, we are coming to kill you all
Solas: like hell you will. but come to think of it, this is a good excuse to see vhenan again
Lavellan's arm: TIME TO DIE
Solas: defo another good excuse to see vhenan again. probs should study that arm anyway
Lavellan, after several Qunari too many: CAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD STAY FIXED
Inquisition, including Divine Victoria: *shocked pikachu*
Lavellan: i'm going back through the fucking looking glass to talk to some ancient elven sentinels with Mythal's magic whisper well, they're the only fucking thing that makes sense here
Qunari: *destroying everything in sight but getting hounded by the dread wolf at every step*
Lavellan, whose arm is trying to kill her but is following Qunari through her own people's magic mirror world: ...i think i'm in love with the dread wolf
Companions: pfffffft
Cole: :D YES, YOU ARE AND HE LOVES YOU TOO
Lavellan: thank god i have you, cole, my spirit son
Solas, in a statuary garden of petrified Qunari: i suspect you have questions
Lavellan: honestly, fen'harel, not really
Solas: *shocked pikachu* well done
Lavellan: i'm real tired and you could have just trusted me back in Crestwood.
Solas: this world is broken, i must tear down the veil
Lavellan: yep, i'm one "knife ear" away from putting a knife in the next human's ear who says it tbh, i'd rather live in the fade with you and my spirit son, can i help you pls vhenan
Solas: ...no
Lavellan: wtf
Solas, internally panicking because he followed Mythal wherever she went and she dragged him to literal hell and trauma and now his one true love is offering to follow him while he probably makes things worse again: absolutely not, no, but i love you forever
Lavellan's arm: >:(
Solas: ...right, i gotta take that
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i will never forget you *trundles through mirror with severed arm*
Lavellan: oh fuck my entire life, you know what, Ferelden and Orlais? Inquisition is no more, i'm going on sabbatical to Stone Bear Hold where at least people are not insane and Storvacker loves me, and then i'm going home to the castle vhenan gave me. don't call me. byeeee
ten years later
Varric: gonna go stop Solas, who invented the veil and is From Fade, from doing things i don't understand, wish me luck, inky
Lavellan: WAIT ONE GODDAMNED SECOND I'M COMING WITH YOU
Varric: no <3 i found a complete rando who will fuck everything up
Rook: hey, what if i drop a statue on this nuclear arsenal protecting the biggest biological weapon of mass destruction known to all of thedas? that'll help
Neve, a literal mage who should know even small rituals can blow up and kill you: probs not a good idea but Varric, a dwarf who knows nothing about magic or the veil or the Fade whatsoever says this ritual must be stopped At All Costs By Any Means Necessary so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Varric: Solas I will shoot you with Bianca
Solas: ffs stop *breaks Bianca*
Varric: can you promise me your way is better
Solas: i know way better than to make promises like that, have you seen this world???
Varric: GOTCHA, YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Rook: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR
Varric: defo going to attack the guy whose millennia of existence has been centred on this massive magical problem i do not even comprehend a little after waiting ten years to ask a single question about it when he'd already got going *tries to stab Solas*
Solas, feeling everything he's spent all of world history protecting the world from breaking out of jail: turns the dagger and stabs Varric instead
Elgar'nan: >:)
Ghilan'nain: >:)
Solas: oh for fucking FUCK'S SA--*exit, stage Fade Jail*
Blight: >:)
Rook: oops
Neve and Harding: omg this could not possibly be our fault at all, not even a little. it's Solas's fault, the lying liar who lies
Lavellan: i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child
Morrigan: we have to help the stupid child
Lavellan: we have to help the stupid child
Morrigan and Lavellan: *look at each other*
Lavellan: when this is over, i stg--
Morrigan, who has millennia of memories of Mythal abusing Solas and decades of Flemythal abusing her: yeah no i will throw you a going away party and take care of Dorian for you and help you get your boyfriend back and no way will i fight him, this is actually ridiculous
Ferelden, Orlais, and the Free Marches, all of whom turned on Lavellan ten years ago: hELP help HELP there's BLIIIIIGHT
Lavellan to Leliana: you owe me a hundred gold
Leliana: *hands over a solid gold nug*
Ferelden: X_X
Orlais: X_X
Free Marches: X_X
Lavellan: *grits teeth* i better go meet with rook
Rook: andaran atish'an, honoured inquisitor
Lavellan: yo. sure would be nice to be meeting without our gods, you know, destroying absolutely everything i've spent a quarter of my life protecting and rebuilding after the last apocalypse but here we are i guess
Morrigan: *smirks at shade*
Northern Thedas: ROOK IS THE BEST
Southern Thedas: is rook tho
Ghilan'nain: muahahaha i have so many drago---nooo you killed my dragons and i am BLEEDING LIKE A MORTAL PIECE OF MORTAL SCUM
Elgar'nan: my dragon used to be bigger :(
Ghilan'nain: your dragon's fine
Elgar'nan: Ghilly, make it bigger again
Ghilan'nain: can't, too sad. blood. :(
Southern Thedas: *throwing nugs at blight* hELP
Lavellan, with half of Southern Thedas crammed into skyhold: thanks for the castle, vhenan, we'd all literally be dead without it, again
Morrigan: erm, Inky? seems everyone's telling Rook Solas is just a big monster lying liar who lies and blaming him for everything
Lavellan: that's what people do, blame Solas. had a bad day? blame Solas. Mythal wants to sever the titans' dreams? Blame Solas. Rashvine nettle sting? Blame Solas. Bring the veil 5/7 or so of the way down themselves after releasing the blight? Blame Solas. Rook let the gods out? Blame Solas
Morrigan: Inky.
Lavellan: you want me to go pour out my heart to the person who imprisoned vhenan and let out Ghilan'nain, Mother of Tentacles, and Elgar'nan "My Dragon is Bigger than Your Dragon" First and Worst of the Evanuris, don't you
Morrigan: yee
Lavellan: FINE but you better spill every ounce of tea you've got on the stupid child before i go because i need to at least make rook squirm a LITTLE
Morrigan: i thought you'd never ask
Elgar'nan: you won't make my dragon bigger??? fine i'll move the moon instead
Northern Thedas: i'm sorry what
Anyone at sea anywhere on the planet: I'M SORRY WHAT
Ghilan'nain: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Elgar'nan: >:(
Solas: fuck this shit, i'm getting out of Fade Jail
Rook: :(
Minrathous: fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK
Solas: hello, people who enslaved my people for millennia, i am here to save the day i guess
Minrathous, slapping blight tentacles out of their faces: ...honestly thank you
Solas: wait what
Rook: I ESCAPE FADE JAIL SOLAS YOU BASTARD LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Lavellan: i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child
Solas: you know what, fair play, here's the dagger, there's elgar'nan, ima bite his dragon, you go have a great time. have fun storming the blight tentacle
Venatori, poster children for the Leopards Who Eat People's Faces Party: nooo the leopards keep eating our faces
Minrathous: wow who could have possibly predicted that
Everyone who has ever met a Venatori: yes, yes, very sad
Elgar'nan, eating every face in the magesterium and effectively cleansing Tevinter of the worst of its monsters in one fell swoop: ah, rook, you can't kill me, i have the biggest dragon ever to dragon
Dread Wolf: honestly he's kinda not wrong, this dragon is a bastard and i am like a fifth of its size and getting p tired, ngl
Rook's Blighted Companion: welp gonnae put this trauma to use for the greater good. go go gadget blight tentacles, release the Dread Pupper
Elgar'nan: *shocked pikachu*
Dread Wolf: *chomp*
Elgar'nan: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Solas: oh ffs finally
Rook: not so fast
Solas: oh ffs here we fucking go
Rook: i don't actually want to fight you
Solas: wait, what
Rook: i think this is all my fault but everyone keeps telling me i'm the hero and that's fucked up. and your vhenan, she's nice to me, no one really else is, i'm just everybody's apocalypse therapist, and i even kinda like you tbh, my whole team basically does fun stuff without me and doesn't even invite me to book club and emmrich's the only one who asks me about my feelings instead of just asking me to do stuff for them, and anyway, i'm going to trust the inquisitor here because i'm honestly starved for connection and she thinks you're worth saving so can we talk i don't wanna fight
Solas: what
Lavellan, out of sight, reliving the litany of "i will not murder this stupid child": oh haha awkward
Solas: look,,, i've been bound to the service of an ancient elvhen god for millennia and everything i do, whether i know it or not, is for her, so i can't do what you want and this sucks
Lavellan: even if i'm here, walking the din'an shiral with you?
Solas: ...vhenan
Lavellan: ;_;
Solas: ;_; ...I cannot
Morrigan: yo dread wolf, my mum's a piece of work and i have all her memories and everything she did to you was fuuuuuuuuucked up, anyway, over to her, honestly not pissed you killed that part of her btw, she reeeeally fucked you up, but rook somehow managed to talk her out of her essence, so that's impressive
Solas: what
Mythal: yeah i kinda tore you out of your home and twisted you from your purpose and made you do murder and worse for me for millennia and said i wanted your wisdom and then never ever listened to you ever and just dragged you through every atrocity i created and perpetuated
Solas: it hurts and i guess you're going to kill me now so here's the dagger ;_;
Mythal: it's still mostly your fault but i was there too i guess, anyway, i release you from my service, which i could have done at any point in the past several millennia but instead I tortured you endlessly, lol god of retribution, that's me. k bye
Solas: what the fucking fuck
Lavellan: right there with you, like literally forever, our love is a miracle and the only thing i can even cope with
Solas: yeah honestly fuck this shit, i'm out, i will put myself in fade jail
Lavellan: you are not going by yourself i stg take me with you i wanna go home
Solas: ...home is a literal prison now
Lavellan: sealed away from all this shit? from getting blamed for everything we do no matter how much we sacrifice? if it's you and me there together, i don't care if it's a grey box full of darkspawn
Solas: there's no darkspa--
Lavellan: ffs i said i want to go, you don't have to sell me on it. you're the only person in this world who Gets It. we go on together, forever.
Solas: *.* my wife
Lavellan: *.* my wolf
Northern Thedas: and rook saved the world from the dread wolf, who was a lying liar who lies
Southern Thedas: *busy being dead and blighted*
Lavellan: yeah, fuck this shit, we're out
You can now download this shitpost in beautifully formatted PDF, courtesy of @amburuthings. Thank u for your service *salutes*
You all have had me howling with the tags on reblogs, thank you, I am absolutely dying in deadline hell and needed that
#i did not mean to do a chaos retrospective on DAI through veilguard but here we are#soz rook you did indeed fuck up bad but your heart's in the right place in the end#this got away from me a little#rook can sit with us (emmrich can come too)#someone get rook some therapy#actually someone get everyone some therapy#tevinter better be in better shape next time#solavellan#elgar'nan really just took all the trash with him on the way out (and a shit tonne of innocent people too)#veilguard spoilers#solas#solas x female lavellan#da4 spoilers#solas x inquisitor#datv spoilers#fen'harel
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@ entersandman 2
☆☆☆☆☆ (a film for two)
summary; after lots of teasing, you finally tell spencer who you are and help him out with his ‘little’ problem.
cw; +18 minors dni, pure porn, teasing, praising, praise kink, sexting, spencer being a needy mess, mention of streams, sex toys, a lot of orgasms, media au!, semi-public sex, oral sex (f and m receiving), cum swallowing, spitting in spencer’s mouth, pillow humping (spencer), mommy kink, sub! spencer and dom! reader, sex calls, dirty nastyyyy talking, breeding kink, fingering (r receiving), so many pet names for spencer ‘cause he deserves them, face riding/use (spencer receiving), nipple play, nipple sucking, spencer cursing, reading being a smug little shit, hickeys, this is so explicit omg, chocking (spencer receiving), spencer talking dirty?!?
an orgasm is a very human thing. and spencer has had many, many orgasms before. he lived basically off of having them. but none of them have been as good as the one he had while seeing the pictures and videos you’d sent him.
and he’s tried…
tried so hard…
a whole week. he’s been going live every night for a week. his arms is sore at this point, he swears it’ll hurt if he got hard again. and he had made so much money… it was stupid, but maybe it was because he had tried everything that week. everything to get an orgasm as good as the one you’d given him. he had used all his toys too; his fleshlight —into which he pumped his dick with abandon using his eidetic memory to remember the sound you made on your videos—, his vibrator —which he’s run up and down his cock and around the leaking tip—, his other vibrator that stimulated his prostate —the overstimulation made him a mess, but it wasn’t as good as your guidance and words—, her blowing masturbator — to imagine what your mouth would feel like—…
but of course… it didn’t work. and you hadn’t joined not even one of those lives. he looked like a kicked puppy on all of them out of camera, needing you to cum easier and well… better, harder.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; want your mouth on me. i can say please.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; where are you? i miss you…
it wasn’t fair. you couldn’t just... show him how good “sex” could feel and then leave him like that. he grew paranoid, watching everyone —female of course— in his classes in hopes of a sign, a slip, and needy, that too.
soooooooo needy.
@ entersandman
mommy please
please need you
you smirked at the new messages on your phone.
@ puredoll
can’t baby, you know i’m studying, not everyone is smart as you, my clever boy
@ entersandman
i’ll help you! just tell me who you are and we can study together!
you snickered and sent him a picture of your cleavage, since you were laying downwards on bed, reading your philosophy books.
@ puredoll
almost got me baby. but we both know that studying isn’t what you want.
spencer groaned, at the sight and at the feeling of his cock standing up, pretty and ready to go. he pouted, and thought about sending you a picture to try and get you with his puppy eyes, but ended up getting shy about the idea and gave up.
@ entersandman
you’re mean.
you couldn’t help but laugh when the notification of spencer’s new stream popped up.
toying with him was easy, but you too had needs, and were growing needy as well. you wanted him. so bad it almost hurt. and he was growing closer to finding out who you were since you couldn’t help but stare at him in class, lost in his beauty.
so, one day, you decided to make your move…
it was a sunny day, and you had opted to wear one of your best outfits, a white snug dress that laced up around your neck with golden sandals. your hair was up in a curly hairdo with little strands cupping your face and your makeup was done with a large eyeliner and glossy cherry lips. you looked amazing —like any other day— but you decided that today you wanted to notch it up one bit by applying your favorite scented body cream, repainting your toes and nails in white and spritzing your favorite and most precious perfume around your whole body.
then, you took your school purse and keys and left for the day.
you didn’t even need to find him, he came to you like as if god knew of your intentions. he looked pretty. with a blue shirt and tie, and brown trousers and shoes. preppy, nerdy, slim fingers sliding up the bridge of his nose his glasses. his hair was taimed, perfectly combed, and he was clinging onto his satchel like a little kid.
cute. you smiled and slowed your walking towards the class, so you could…
“oh. sorry. please go ahead.” he said as he almost bumped into you going pass the threshold and into the room.
you looked up at him and with a kind smile said. “thanks, pretty.” the last part was tinged in teasing, your lips curving more into a smirk now as you looked away and made your way inside, your perfume engulfing him as you passed by.
and he stood there, frozen. ‘cause not only a pretty girl had just called him pretty himself, but… “pretty”, what you always called him on streams and in your nightly chats. and that smirk…
he gulped. could it be? he looked inside and saw you watching him, curving your eyebrows as in ‘aren’t you gonna come inside?’
his feet moved alone, and before he could stop himself he was sitting right by your side.
“bold move, spencer.” you said, and he shook to the core.
spencer, spencer, spencer, spencer…
it was as if you were made to say his name.
“is it you?” he inquired, his eyes on your profile until you turned towards him with a playful frown.
“ ‘is it me’? who am i, spencer?” you were teasing him. of course you were. he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists on his thighs, his checks flushing, adam’s apple bobbing. he looked around, at the almost empty classroom. “what is it? you can’t say it?” he shook his head and you cooed. “aw, i thought better of you than this, spencer.”
he swallowed harshly and closed his eyes for a second before looking at you like a puppy.
“mommy.” he muttered and you smiled.
“good boy.” you praised him, and he had to swallow down a moan, it sounded better than he had imagined. you were better than he had imagined. you were beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking… you surely knew how to take his breath away.
“why… why now? why are you telling me now?” he inquired and you hummed.
“you aren’t happy?”
“no! of course not, it’s not that! it’s just…” you understood.
“well i was growing tired and… i really wanted to play with you.” you pouted, and reached for his cheek, caressing it. spencer swallowed again, and gripped his satchel over his legs. you smirked. “what are you hiding, huh?”
“nothing.”
“spence…” you warned and his cheeks got impossibly red.
“you know.”
“yeah, i know. but i want you to say it.” his whole neck flushed and his lips trembled. “come on, be a good boy.” you purred.
“you made me hard.” he explained and you smirked.
“aw, that easy? baby… someone’s needy, hm?” your hand came into his hair, and he hummed, almost moaned as you scratched at his scalp.
“you… you left me.”
“what do you mean baby?” you played with the little hairs on his nape.
“you didn’t enter my streams.” you cooed once again.
“i know. did you miss me?” he nodded. “you did, huh? what did you do on those streams, hm? tell mommy.” god. you couldn’t talk about this things in public, but again, there were two more people in the class since it still was early, and they were on the furthest seats ever on the back chatting away. there’s no way they could hear you. his eyes trailed over to them anxiously and your other hand fell to his thigh. he almost jumped out of his seat. “spence.”
“i… i played with my toys.” he quivered.
“played with your toys, huh?” he nodded, hair falling to his pretty eyes. “what kind of toys?” he gulped when your hand started to move up his inner thigh and below his satchel.
“my… vibrators.” you hummed.
“and did you cum?” he nodded. “was it good?” he shook his head this time. “why not?” you were now drawing circles with your thumb on his thigh and he was stuttering.
“you weren’t there.” you almost melted at his pout. you would give him anything if he played that move on you, by your reaction, spencer knew, and he was gonna take it to his advantage. “i missed you so much mommy…” suddenly someone shouted in the back and startled you. it was a shriek of joy.
‘the class got cancelled!!’
‘are you joking?’
‘nuh-huh! god i’m gonna go back to my house and sleep the rest of the day.’
you could hear the other couple chatting as they quickly gathered their things and left from the back exists in a hurry to get back into their beds.
it was as if god loved you. how else could you have gotten spencer alone… with you?
spencer suddenly felt as if he were being stalked by a predator by how your eyes changed. your hand moved up… up… up… until you were cupping his erection, and he let out the prettiest whimper you’ve ever heard.
“god, you sound prettier than through the screen…” you sighed.
“mommy…”
“what is it baby?” you started to touch him from over his pants, with your hand measuring his length. he was big…
“we can’t… we’re at school…” he whined, although his hips thrusted against your touch in need for more.
“you don’t seem too sure about that.” you smirked. “you’re so pretty, the prettiest boy ever. you know how badly i wanted to enter those streams and see you? but no. i had to go slow with you. well i’m tired of going slow. aren’t you, spence?” he nodded.
“yes, yes, god…”
you pushed his satchel aside. “wanna see you.” he nodded once again, and with desperate fingers struggled to open his pants, pulling from his clothes so his cock would slip free. you clicked your tongue at the sight of his reddened tip. “baby… look at you. doesn’t it hurt?” he nodded.
“i just couldn’t help it…” he cried out. he had touched himself raw. “every time i thought about you…” he flushed. you understood.
“i can’t touch you like this, it’ll hurt you.” you cooed and his puppy eyes came back.
“no! please! it won’t hurt i promise! i’ll be good!” he begged, and you shook your head. “please mommy please…” you sighed.
“i can’t use my hands…” you said, but smirked, there were other ways to make him cum. and you were good at them. his eyes almost popped out of their spheres when you got on your knees in front of him.
“oh god…” he whispered at the sight and the implication of what you were about to do.
“i’m about to ruin my lipstick, so you better behave, hm?” he quickly nodded, desperately even.
“i’ll behave mommy, i promise.”
“good boy, pretty.” you said, and took him in your hand. he moaned, his head falling backwards on his seat. “baby… i haven’t even started yet.” you chuckled.
“sorry, it’s just… i’ve thought so much about this…” he bit down on his botton lip and you let out another chuckle.
“you’re so cute…” and with that your tongue swiped a stroke across his red and raw head. your lips curved at the whimper that fell from his lips and just how quickly his hand came to the top of your head. you licked clean the beads of precum there with a hum. “taste so good baby… better than i imagined.”
“keep praising me and i’ll cum.” he whined breathlessly and you laughed, pumping him slowly from his base before taking him into your mouth with a little moan.
him and his praise kink…
you loved the heady taste, how thick and large he was, and how warm he felt in your mouth.
he wouldn’t stop leaking, and you started to suck, slowly taking more and more of him in your mouth with the bobs of your head. you thanked this was a secluded area and 1. the doors were all closed and 2. there were no cameras, ‘cause spencer wasn’t good at keeping quiet, and you’d kill anyone who saw the pretty faces he was making right now as you fucked him with your mouth.
“mommy…” he moaned, his back arching as you sped up. “fuck. feels so good mommy, so good… thank you, fuck, thank you…” he praised you, and you felt your core getting wetter than it already was. you too had a praise kink after all.
his hips started to thrust up and your hands left him to go to his hips and push him down on his seat.
“sorry, sorry mommy…” he cried as you popped him out of your mouth and hissed a ‘stay put’ at him.
“you’re gonna be good and take it, aren’t you pretty?” he nodded. “that’s my good boy.” you went back at him, licking him from base to tip before taking him back down your throat.
“oh my god…” he was a mess. but he was your mess. he hissed when you gave special attention to his head, licking and sucking harshly. but the pain only made the whole experience better. he was a gentleman, pushing the little strands of hair out of your face, but he was getting lost on the feeling of his impending orgasm. “mommy, i’m gonna…”
“you’re gonna cum for me?” you asked as you pumped him. he nodded, his tongue peeking to wet his lips.
“yes, yes mommy…”
“where do you wanna cum, hm pretty?” you inquired, sucking on his head.
he blushed. “can i…?” he stopped, stuttering.
“come on baby, be good and use your big words.”
“can i cum in your mouth?” his puppy eyes were back, his adam’s apple bobbing. you smiled.
“you wanna cum in my mouth? wanna fill me up and watch me swallow it all?” you haunted him and he nodded. “how do we ask for it?”
“please mommy, please… can i?” you hummed in thought, just to tease him, before nodding.
“yes, you can, baby.” he moaned, and you went back to taking him back in your throat, down to the base, almost choking. the feeling of your throat closing around him making him whimper and thrash.
“ah-ah-ah!” he hiccuped, voice airy and the grip of his hand tightening on your hair. his cock twitching inside your mouth, and with one last suck, he couldn’t hold it anymore. he let go with a high-pitched whimper, his mouth falling open in a silent moan as his head fell back and his neck got exposed to your hungry eyes. you swallowed everything he gave you as you continued bobbing your head to extend his orgasm.
once down from it, you popped him out of your mouth, licking your lips clean.
you looked up at him to watch his chest rising and heaving in breathless puffs of air.
“are you okay baby?” you inquired him, and he mindlessly nodded. you had just sucked him braindead. “that good, huh?” you smirked, and he nodded.
“so good, mommy. thank you.”
“aw… so polite…” you got up from your knees, but not before putting him back in his briefs. “open up.” you patted his lips and he followed your orders. you spat into it and he moaned, happily swallowing. “good boy.”“tastes good?” he nodded. “does it hurt, baby?” you patted his chest, your noses touching.
“no, mommy.” he shook his head.
“still. you’ve gotta take care of yourself baby, how else am i gonna have fun with you, mh?” he nodded. he was still breathless and with a fuzzy mind. “no more touching until you’re all better, understood?”
“understood.”
“atta boy.”
later that day spencer posted on his twitter.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; head so good i’d be losing mine
after that spencer really did lose his mind.
you were serious about the “no touching”, but this. this was pure torture.
not only he could remember every little thing about your head, but you just looked so good everyday at school, and your messages, and your pictures… god… he was going crazy.
he needed to touch himself but he was supposed to be a good boy, so he couldn’t.
@ entersandman
@ entersandman; i’m being a good boy i promise mommy
but he wanted to rub one out so badly…
“mommy…” he whimpered.
it was a late night friday. 2AM. and spencer was desperately and ridiculously grinding against his pillow. it had been a week since he had the feeling of your mouth around him. a whole week of teasing from your part. he was already healed. and so, oh so desperate.
he hadn’t cum in a week, and it was getting to his head. that’s how he found himself right were he was right now.
“that’s it baby, keep humping that pillow for me.”
you had been surprised by the incoming call. this late at night? it shouldn’t have been bad, but not spencer moaning and whimpering on the other end, what quickly turned you the fuck on.
“oh fuck…” he whined, his sweatpants being the perfect friction against his leaking cock.
“what are you thinking about, huh?”
“your mouth…” he sighed. “mommy please… let me touch myself, please…”
“mmmh… you sound so pretty begging for it, baby… it’s been long since you last did it, huh?”
“yes.” he whimpered.
“awww, poor baby.” you cooed and he groaned at the way his cock jumped. “you wanna touch yourself baby? you wanna cum?” he moaned as a positive. “but what if i want it for me, huh? all that pent up, heavy load of yours, hm?”
he almost came right that instant as he thrusted against the pillow.
“you want it?” he panted and you hummed. “where?”
“in my pussy.” spencer’s eyes rolled.
“oh my god.”
“so… are you sure you wanna waste it in your hand?”
“no, but…” he whined.
“but?”
“you’re not here…”
“so why don’t you come here?” his eyebrows perked up. “come to my place.”
“are you serious?” he questioned you, and you giggled.
“of course i am, it must have been so hard for you this week… you should come here and let me make you feel better.” you purred. he moaned.
“i’ll be there in 10 minutes.” he quickly babbled, and hung up.
you sent him your address as he quickly put on some clothes and took the keys to his car.
now you just had to wait.
“mmmph!” your mouth was on his as soon as he stepped through the door, tongue swiping his lower lip for entrance. what little of his erection had gone down in the way was quickly back as you pushed into his mouth.
“you taste so good…” you whispered against his lips, his hands on your hips as he kissed you once again, desperately.
“need you…” he whined, his cock throbbing against your belly.
“you do, huh?” he nodded. “how much?”
“so much…”
“yeah?” your fingers trailed down his jaw, and he shivered.
“yeah.” he whispered against your lips.
“then show me.” without needing to tell him twice, his hands shot up to the sides of your face, pulling him for the wettest and neediest kiss someone had ever given you. he was pouring everything he had on it, and you moaned, melting against him as he guided you backwards.
“room?” he hummed between kisses.
“to the right.” you answered and squeaked when his big hands came down to your thighs and pulled you up, making you surround his hips. the two of you groaned at the feeling of his erection against your pussy, and you rocked your hips to feel more.
“fuck.”
he quickly made his way into the room, never straying from your lips and softly placing you onto your bed.
“mommy.” he whispered against your jaw as he kissed his way down to your neck.
“yeah, baby?”
“wanna eat your pussy.” he whispered against your skin, and you shivered.
“yeah? you wanna eat my pussy, honey?”
“yes, please.” he begged and you groaned, nodding. he whimpered at just the thought, his hands quickly followed yours to your shorts, pulling them off along with your underwear as you moved up the bed and him; down, kissing at the exposed skin on your stomach. you groaned at the feeling. you had thought so much about this…
he kissed at the skin of your hip, nibbling and sucking as he made his way in between your legs, pulling them over his shoulders.
“you’re so beautiful…” he groaned at the sight of you all spread out for him and glistening… “god i just can’t wait.” he whispered before diving in and licking a fat stroke up your slit with a moan, whimpering when you did too and your hands made their way into his hair and tugged.
“oh god, spencer…” he ate you out like a man starved, sucking at your clit before going back down to your entrance and plunging his tongue inside to slurp out your juices.
“so good, mommy, you taste so good…” he moaned, licking his lips before going back at it. you pulled at his hair, messing it all up as you rocked your pussy against his tongue, riding his face and pulling him closer. he was even louder than you were as he licked everything up.
one of his fingers caressed your entrance and your hips canted upwards, moaning as he pushed it inside.
“fuck, pretty. you’re so good at this… fuck me with your fingers baby.” you ordered and he complied, starting with the one already inside, pumping it in and out as he suckled at your clit. “just like that, good boy.” he whimpered and added another, curling them to hit your g spot. he wanted to make you feel good. he needed the praise. his hips rocked against the mattress as he fucked you with his fingers and licked your clit. “atta boy, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum…” your back arched. “gonna give you this pussy baby. gonna make you a fucking mess. want your load inside of me, fuck, spencer, fuck!” you could feel yourself reaching it, getting closer and closer and closer… “yes, yes, yes!!!!” you used his face as with a final suck and curl of his fingers you fell apart, your eyes rolling back. he moaned when he felt you squeezing his fingers, fucking you through it.
once you came down, he licked you clean. sucking his fingers inside his mouth with a moan.
“come here.” you ordered, pulling from his tee-shirt until he was in between your legs. “you did so good baby… ate me out so good…” you praised him, and he sighed, smiling. “now give me a taste, will you?” you purred, pulling down his bottom lip to open up his mouth as you guided him to yours, kissing him hungrily as you took off his top.
he whimpered, his tongue dancing with your own as you rolled the two of you over and sitting on his lap. “fuuuuck…” he moaned when you started to roll your hips against his.
“you’re so hard…” you bit down on your bottom lip, discarding your shirt. his eyes widened at the sight of your naked and exposed chest, his hands quickly going to your breasts and thumbs rolling your nipples. “i want you now.” you smirked, and he nodded, helping you get rid of the last piece of clothing that was on him, since he wasn’t wearing any underwear. “no underwear? someone came ready…” you smirked and he whined, being cut off by his own moan when your pussy made contact with his cock. your lips engulfed his length as you rocked your hips, lubing him up.
“you’re killing me.” he cried out, his dick twitching, head dribbling with precum.
“shhh… let me make you feel better, pretty.” you kissed his lips, taking him in your hand as you rose your hips and guided him to your entrance. “gonna fuck you so good spence… you’ll forget your own name.” you promised before you slowly sank down on him.
and spencer knew you were telling the truth, ‘cause just with the tip inside, his mind was blank.
“oh god, oh my god, jesus christ, fuck, shit…” you wanted to laugh at the indecent amount of words that were stumbling past his lips.
“aw come on baby, already?” you smirked. “it’s just the tip.” his hands were on your hips, fingertips pressing against your supple skin. “are you sure can you handle it?” you inquired but he didn’t answer, moaning as you lowered yourself just the slightest amount, taking another inch. “spencer.” you harshly called out his name.
“yes?” he dazedly replied, chest heaving, cheeks flushed. you could eat him up.
“i said. can. you. handle it?”
“yesyesyes, please mommy. i can. i promise.”
“good. don’t you dare cum until i tell you to.” you ordered before taking all of him in in a quick movement. his eyes rolled backwards and from his mouth erupted the most beautiful whimper you’ve ever heard.
“oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…”
“sure, if you wanna call me that.” you shrugged, a smug smile on your lips as you started rolling your hips to adjust to his girth. “fuck, you’re stretching me out so good baby, so fucking big… a pretty boy with a pretty and big cock, you have it all don’t you?” he moaned, nodding at your words even if he hadn’t really processed them. he was trying his best not to burst.
come on, he hadn’t come in a week. a week in which you hadn’t stopped edging him. you had to know what you were doing to him. you just had to.
“don’t move, please.” he muttered, his dick twitching, he was gonna cum so hard.
“we haven’t even started yet…” you sighed, and he pouted. he wanted to make you feel good, but you had this effect on him in which he could cum with just one single touch. “i thought you could handle it…”
“i can! it’s just…” he saw you smirk. “god… you know what you do to me, you know.” you puckered your lips as you leaned closer to his own.
“that i drive you crazy?” you rolled your hips and he moaned, his grip tightening. “oh i know darling, i can feel it…” you whispered against his ear before your lips latched to his neck and your hips started to slightly move.
“you’re killing me.” he whimpered, and you hummed, sucking a pretty mark where you knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it. “don’t stop.” his hands wandered to your ass and helped you move more, slowly riding his cock.
you moaned when his tip kissed your cervix.
“fuck baby you’re so deep, can’t wait to feel you pump me full.” he moaned, and his hips subconsciously pumped upwards, making you laugh, although you almost squeaked. “oh you liked that, huh? like the idea or your cum inside me, pretty?” he nodded.
“yes, fuck, yes. want it all deep inside your pussy mommy.” you moaned, moving harder. the squelches of your wetness around his dick moving in and out of you filled your room, only turning the two of you more.
“yeah baby? want me round and pretty for you?” the idea almost made him cum and you noticed. one of your hands surrounded his neck. “answer me, baby.”
“yes,yes,yes.”
“good boy.” you started to ride him in earnest. his eyes fell to your jumping breasts and then his hands followed, rolling your nipples to stimulate you. your back arched. “that’s it, touch me pretty, touch my tits.” your hand tightened around his neck and his hips stuttered against yours. “you like it, hm? like my hand around your neck baby?” he nodded.
“harder.” he begged and your smile got wider.
“atta boy.” you complied and his moans increased in volume. “that’s it pretty, let me hear you.”
“mommy…” he whimpered. “i can’t, it feels so good…!”
“don’t you dare. i’ve just started playing with you.” he whined, but nodded, his muscles tensing as you went faster, your own moans spilling into the room. “fuck, such a good cock. love it. love your cock baby.” you praised him, and you felt it twitch. he rose to hold you, his hands back on your ass to drive you harder down on his cock until his tip was breaching your cervix and your eyes were rolling back.
you wouldn’t let him cum? fine. then he’ll make you cum first.
his mouth latched to your right nipple as his hips snapped up against yours.
“spencer!” you screamed in ecstasy.
“mommy, fuck, mommy.” he panted against your chest, moaning against your skin before his tongue would circle your nipples and suck.
“don’t stop. don’t stop, just like that.” you were surprised at his sudden change, but you weren’t gonna complain, not when he was fucking the lights out of you.
“it was made for me, mommy. your pussy was made for me. it takes me so good…” he was babbling, whimpering as you tugged on his hair. the two of you moved messily, taking from the other, giving at the same time. desperate. hungry. it was as if you two were in heat, lost on each other.
“fuck baby, i’m gonna cum. gonna cum all over your pretty cock.” you moaned, and he went harder, one of his hands surrounding your waist to keep you in place for his incessant thrusts and the other moving to your clit, drawing circles on it to push you closer. “fuck,fuck,fuck!!!!!” you screamed, your back arching as with a couple more thrusts your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, clenching down hard on his dick.
spencer whimpered, driving into you over and over again to fuck you through it, begging like crazy during it. “please mommy, can i cum? can i cum now? please let me cum, let me fill you up mommy.”
“yes pretty yes, fuck my pussy, pump me full of your cum. i want it in my womb.” his hips stuttered and with, one, two, three more pumps he was burying himself impossibly deeper, breaching your cervix and spilling into your womb with a moan.
you two continued to rock against the other to ride the high down until all that was left was pure bliss. you two flopped down against the bed, you on top of him as you tried catching your breaths.
“uh…” he tried, clearing his throat. he was out of words.
“yeah.” you nodded. “that was…”
“yeah.” he copied you. “wanna go again?” he asked after a beat, too eager to make you feel good again.
“yeah.” you muttered before devouring his lips.
[…]
months passed, and spencer was once again on one of his lives, shirtless, his stomach tied up in knots in nervousness. his adam’s apple bobber, his breath hitched as your fingers scratched his neck.
“hey you all, i have a surprise for you.” he said before an unknown figure slowly joined him on his bed, completely clad in lingerie. “this… is my girlfriend, and today… she’ll be joining me.” he stuttered as you pressed wet kisses to his neck and jaw.
“ready, pretty?” you inquired him, kissing his lips. and he nodded, puppy eyes staring at you. “good. cause i’m gonna fuck you dumb. and they are all gonna watch.”
☆☆☆☆☆
#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x plus size reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!readr
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Hybrid 141 As Parents - Foster Human Child!Reader (Part 11)
Their background is clear to you—always has been since your social worker told you about them in her car on the way here.
They’re military men. Most of their long lives have been spent in the field. She even mentioned that their first children grew up on base when they were little.
Which sounded cool, you thought. It was so different from the office jobs other foster parents had. A bonus, even—it made you feel safe in their house.
They were bigger than most. If not by height, then by width. They were large. Buff. Even the damn harpy, who was supposed to be lean, had broad shoulders and lots of muscles.
So you felt safe. That was a big bonus. Better than that weird suburban house you stayed in, where the mother often avoided the creepy neighbor who looked predatory. You remember his strange glances and how nervous the mother was when he came knocking one night while her husband was away.
How nervous you were as you watched their interaction a few feet away.
So, you’ve always had a big thing about safety, thanks to the weird places you have stayed.
And they felt so safe. It was comforting, really. After the initial phase of settling into a foster home—when you flinched away from everyone until you got to know them better—you started to relax.
(Unless they were the angry type. Or worse, the type to lay their hands on you.)
So, when Price sat you on his lap, checking your temperature again and combing your hair with his hand and sharp claws, you felt... calm. Eh, not totally, you admit. You still tensed a little when his hand came near your face and stayed quiet because of your shyness.
But it was progress, and you really, really wanted to feel at peace with them.
When night came, after they gave you more medicine, warm tea, and another serving of John's bean and bacon soup, they decided to put you to bed early.
Which... was fine. You were actually very tired. Sickness does that to you.
Price carried you, lifting you easily from the dining room chair with the booster seat they’d gotten from somewhere. He placed you down carefully in the big nest full of heavy blankets and pillows, the others following behind at their own pace.
Being there gave you a chance to watch more of their routine.
Ghost was the last to enter. You could hear him rattling things downstairs and turning off lights as he came. His low voice confirmed that all windows and doors were locked.
Gaz was already in the room, sitting at the nest’s edge as he combed through his wing with a special tool, a weird looking comb thing. Johnny worked on the other wing with a concentration you didn’t know he could manage. Both of them were close to you, their legs nearly bumping your small form in the giant nest.
Price moved calmly around the room, putting things away and finishing his hygiene routine in the attached bathroom.
"Feeling better?" Gaz cooed softly, his leg—talons, talons, such sharp talons—bumping near you to get your attention.
"Y-yeah, better..." you answered quietly, nodding for emphasis.
"Good." He crooned, satisfied, especially when Soap purred right after.
(Is it really a purr if he’s a werewolf?)
"Good pup, such a good pup. Really brave, huh? Dinae complain even once. So strong..." Soap murmured, leaning over Gaz, who relaxed back against him.
"It's just a small fever..." you mumbled, frowning a bit at his exaggeration. You were shy. "It’s nothing..."
"Not nothin’, kid." Simon grumbled, finally climbing into the nest after discarding his mask and gloves. He lay beside you, checking your forehead again. "Sick is sick. A flu is a flu. Still makes you feel like shit."
"Simon..." Price scolded as he emerged from the bathroom, closing the door behind him. "Didn’t hear the hatchling say one bad word ’til now. Don’t influence her."
"To be fair, we barely heard her speak at all until now." Kyle retorted sassily, smiling at Price before glancing down at you. "Small, quiet fledgling."
"Nah, she’ll warm up to us!" Johnny declared confidently, shaking his head. "Right, pup? Wanna play with Papa tomorrow? We can play anything ya want!"
"Tone it down, mutt. It’s snowin’ outside," Ghost grumbled, already wrapping your small body in one of the blankets.
"We can play inside. We’ve got the space," Soap said smugly, finishing Kyle’s wing before slipping into the nest on your other side. "We can play, pup. Promise I’ll be gentle!"
You tensed a little, unsure. Your expression showed your doubt with your little frown. After a few seconds of silence, you managed to murmur.
"....o-okay... I guess..."
"See? Who said peer pressure doesn’t work?" Ghost deadpanned, making Price snort with laughter, faint wisps of smoke escaping his nose.
"You don't have to if you don't want to, hatchling. Soap will understand." Price says with a quiet laugh, approaching the nest as he adjusts some kind of shoulder weight attached over his sleeping shirt where his missing wing used to be.
You stare at him for a moment, frowning slightly in confusion.
"...Soap...?"
Your question seems to stun them for a moment before they all start laughing softly, like it’s some kind of inside joke.
"Tha’ would be me, lassie." Johnny replies with a big smile, flashing all his sharp teeth as he leans closer. "Just a codename. Military, aye?"
"Nickname...?" you mumble, still confused.
"Close, hun. Codename." Gaz explains with a gentle laugh, sliding into the nest now, his wings resting against Soap and Price’s backs.
"It’s like a nickname, but it’s used for secrecy. So bad people don’t know our real names." Ghost adds calmly, his heavy hand giving your back a slight pat.
That makes you scrunch your nose slightly.
"Why Soap...?"
Once again, the others laugh at your question, except Johnny, who just sighs quietly, though his smile remains.
"Doesn’t matter why." The werewolf says with a shrug, still grinning as he gestures at Simon. "This bastard is called ‘Ghost’ in the field, Kyle is ‘Gaz,’ and John just uses his last name, ‘Price.’"
You nod quietly, blinking as you process the information. It’s kinda weird, but it makes sense for their lifestyle. Military men for most of their lives, huh? That actually makes you wonder...
"...Are your kids also military...?" you ask softly, hugging your knees over the thick blanket.
"Thank fucking god, no," Price answers quickly, sounding both relieved and horrified at the thought.
"I thought we weren’t doing bad words?" Ghost asks slowly, his tone sarcastic as he sends Price a bored look.
"Oh, shut it." Price growls softly back, leaning closer to him with a sharp smile.
"But no, none of them are in the military." Kyle chimes in, smiling slightly. "Doesn’t mean they didn’t think about following our footsteps at some point, though."
"Wee lads and lassies always thought the military was cool, wanted to be like their papas." Soap says dreamily, though his smile falters slightly to a more nervous smile. "We would never let them, though."
"Why?" you ask innocently, tilting your head in confusion. "You didn’t like the military?"
"No, no, not that! Ah love the military, wee lass!" Soap defends quickly, waving his hands around. "Can’t imagine doin’ anything else with my life!"
"But no parent wants their kids in such a dangerous job," Price interjects, shaking his head as he mutters under his breath. "Honestly, if I had my way, they’d still be here in the nest with me."
"Ignore ’im. Dragon instincts get the best of ’im sometimes." Ghost mutters, shaking his head before gently nudging you down into the nest. "Come on, kid. We can talk tomorrow. It’s sleep time."
You’re still curious, but you nod, laying back against the nest. Johnny immediately curls around you, his giant body wrapping you up entirely. You even feel his tail loop around your legs. You tense for a moment at the closeness, but soon relax, rolling slightly to burrow your face into the blanket. His much larger body shields you completely.
"Night, kid." Ghost grunts as he settles, his hand resting on top of your wrapped form.
"Sweet dreams, hun." Gaz murmurs softly.
"Sleep well." Price adds last, leaning down slightly as the others settle into their spots in the nest. "Call us if you need anything, alright?"
"Gonna be monitorin’ her. It’s fine..." Johnny mumbles, still draped protectively over you. "Good night, lassie."
You fall asleep as the lights turn off and the others cuddle into the nest. Despite the heavy snowstorm outside, you feel incredibly warm.
Safe.
Part 10 / Part 12
#poly141#poly!141#cod#foster child!reader#teen!reader#kid!reader#simon ghost riley#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#wraith!ghost#werewolf!soap#dragon!price#harpy!gaz#monster 141 au#monster au#cod mw2#cod mw3#tf 141#dad!price#dad!ghost#dad!soap#dad!gaz#hybrid 141#human!Reader#platonic!141
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"Why hasn't philza said anything?"I think tommy is on Will's side since he hasn't made a statement"
You are insufferable treating the ccs like fucking corporate entities
"Where is the statement ? Where is the statement ? Where is the statement ? Where is the statem-"
Shut up
Not everything has to be handled through a grand public disowning.
"Believe all victims" is a valid statement, but it is also one that can clash with people's emotions, believe it or not human relationships are complex as fuck. Most of these content creators were closer to will than shelby. It is natural to want to hear your friend's side even if they are the accused even if you believe the victim. It is natural to be worried you're taking the wrong side. It is natural to wish these accusations were simply not true. Some people are too afraid to burn bridges too soon, I certainly am. Is that "enabling" ? I can't imagine if my best friend got accused of something like this, how I'd feel, or how i would act.
And when the creators did release statements you fuckers accused them of saving face. You know what? I agree with that. These statements weren't necessarily for shelby they were to shut you up. All their support could've happened privately in the way they am sure wish, but no, you had to start bad mouthing people calling them enablers and such (you need to stop using words and watering down their fucking meanings). Look at how people were talking about niki and are talking about tommy.
Just because some ccs can and will be loud and proud (rightfully so) doesn't mean everyone else is loud about that shit. Aimsey is an example they are obviously closer to shelby, so they obviously released their statement much earlier. It makes sense, but you can't be sitting here calling tommy, philza and niki "enablers" because they didn't shout it from rooftops. How many of them want to keep it private ? How many who did say something publicly wanted to keep private but couldn't because of your harassment ?
I can't hold anything against these ccs, and you shouldn't either. None of them bashed shelby or demonised her in any way publicly. and it is all we need to know. If shelby felt unsupported by the lack of some ccs public announcements, that's for her to decide and dm them about it, not you.
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The Qilin Test
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Warnings: Fluff
Prompt: Meeting all Damian's pets (minus the dragon bat he apparentally has 😀 [im concerned for him a bit]) requested by @alexamars17
Notes: The title is a Harry Potter reference, Female Reader, italics are actions and thoughts.
-With that said it's all under the cut-
Meeting a billionare's son online was probably not on your bingo yard for the year... Definitely not something that Damian would ever think would happen but alas Jason had set up a dating profile for his little brother. (No matter how old Damian got Jason always called him his little brother cuz he knew a pissed him off.)
"Online datings tragic at best or its for casual sex, no one actually finds anyone that way." Damian rolled his eyes as his brothers attempts to get him back into the dating pool.
"Come on it'll be fun and plus you're more tolerable when you have a girlfriend." Jason just wanted him to try it, Damian had been miserable for months after Raven left him.
"Plus you wont have to worry about her reading your mind and shit cause chances are she'll be human and she wont be able to do that hoodoo voodoo stuff on you."
"Fine, Todd but if this goes south..." Damian huffed unhappy, Jason had probably made it all stupid in general and was doing this as some sorta prank or something.
"Just try it." Jason handed Damian his phone back, the profile was actually set up fairly nice considering Jason did it. It was clear to Damian at that moment that Jason was serious, a little light shone through the broken state of his heart that Raven left him in.
It had been months since Raven and he really had loved her but she had looked inside and saw memories he didnt want anyone to know about...Then she threw them in his face during an argument. He still loved her but he couldnt be with someone who chastised him for his past.
Anyways, he decided to give this a try and he found the girl that he just instantly clicked with. He could talk about whatever was interesting to him and she had no issue talking back to him about it. He was talking booby traps, grave guns and how during WW2 they would make bombs out of things that look like regular objects...
Damian found himself thinking about her during the day and he found himself staying up late just so that he could talk to her. They met up once but they were both extremely nervous and that was extremely obvious, the date had got cut short because of paparazzi...you know with him being Damian Wayne and all?
The next time he met you he decided that it would be a really good idea to introduce you to his pets, pets tended to make things go a lot smoother and everyone was a lot less nervous around a pet. He was so nervous that Titus might not like you...Bat-Cow liked everyone and Alfred was a cat so he was to be expected of a cat.
You came over to Wayne Manor where he told you to meet him, gentlemanly he opened your drivers side door for you and held out his hand. Reaching out to grab his hand you got out of your car and walked behind him, your hand still in his, he was suprisingly so gentle.
"Okay so I have three pets...I'll show you the biggest and most loveable- I mean they all are really but everyone loves her." He guided you through the yard and twords the little barn area he had built especially for her and your mind wandered to curiousity.
Damian keeps your hand in his so you dont trip cause its a little slick. Good thing he told you to dress casual. He gently guided you in and you saw the big white and brown cow.
"Oh, My- Wow. Oh, she'd beautiful! And so cute." You squealed over the cow. Each word that you said made him fall deeper and deeper into the love that you was already feeling for you.
"She's got a little bat symbol around her eyes that's why we call her BatCow." Of course you could only tell you partially what the reason was cause he hadn't told you his entire family is full of vigilantes.
"Oh, my god! Thats so cute and so clever!" Your eyes lit up as he explained that, his broken heart was being quickly mended and put back together by you, it swelled at the sound of your amusement.
Damian let you feed her and pet her for a bit before asking if you wanted tonmeet his other animals. This is where he was nervous, Titus listed with little issue but of courss but he was still worried about him liking you.
Using your hand he guided you up twords the manor. Of course you were in awe cause this place was beautiful so he walked slow. Once he got in he whistled and the dog came with little issue, Titus was well trained and well behaved but he definitely made his opinions very obvious.
Titus sniffed around her to see how he felt about her, curious sniffs quickly turned to him yipping like a puppy and turning around to get his toy for you to throw.
Damian smiled, the tension in his shoulders dissipating. He had never seen him act like this with someone that he just met but he seemed extremely happy and extremely trusting of you. Considering most people say that dogs can tell what type of person someone is without even being around them for long, this was a good sign.
Titus came back with the toy and you threw it and he went and got it and brought it back, yipping and wagging his body and tail. Whilst you and Titus played Alfred the Cat decided to come out abd brush up against you.
"Was this a dream?" Damian almost asked himself cause of how well it was going.
"Awww, Hello little kitty!" You doted on both his indoor pets instantly like they were your own and his love for you just increased ten fold, he'd never let anything hurt you not now when he was so completely enthralled with you.
"That's Alfred Pennyworth the cat, he's named after the butler and this is Titus." He introduces the animals formally.
"They're just the cutest little guys." You were just so happy and they were just so adorable.
"Little guys?" He thought, he didnt even notice the smile on your face and the way you treated every animal as if it was as small as a chipmunk and how they all got equal love. If he didn't know you were the one before, he definitely knew now.
Over time Titus took on the role of protecting you the same way he protected Damian. Both you and Damian too care of Bat-Cow and Alfred came and went as he pleased, if you sat still long enough he coiled himself up ontop of you. Damian had his own little perfect family and it was even remotely complete without you.
(Send me prompts if youd like.)
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hi! please could you do number 7 with the mc having a ghost-related quirk??
decided to quickly write this one just in time for halloween! i hope y'all enjoy this little piece amidst the boop war we all find ourselves in right now lol. thank you for playing n have a nice day <3
(this is lightseoul's 2k milestone event ft. bakugou katsuki! to play, view the numbered list of prompts here, then simply send an ask with your chosen number and i'll whip something up!)
7. "THE GHOSTS WOULD DISAGREE WITH YOU." (1.3k)
“you’re a fucking weirdo, you know that?”
you don’t even look up from the churro you’re munching on, opting to ignore the ash-blonde sitting right next to your left.
“what,” he continues, and if you didn’t know any better, he’s starting to sound a little annoyed. “you’re not even gonna defend yourself?”
what you’re not about to do is tell him you’ve heard that taunt over and over again growing up, lest you end up seeming pitiful, which you aren’t.
so you merely shrug. “i don’t see the point. i know it’s not true.”
at that, you finally glance at the man, who’s looking nothing short of speechless under the dim light of the lounge that’s decked out with ‘spooky’ embellishments.
cute is the first thing that comes to mind.
he just fucking insulted you is the next.
still, you can’t help the smile that takes over your features. “you’re the weird one, anyway. why would you say that to your date?”
bakugou promptly breaks eye contact, choosing to stare at the human skeleton that’s conveniently parked at the corner of the room. you follow his line of vision, and you have to stop yourself from snorting at the sight.
the people manning this haunted house-themed attraction sure took budget decorating to the next level.
beside you, the pro-hero huffs. “i’m only saying that because this is your idea of a good first date,” he gestures vaguely to your surroundings, an incredulous expression on his face as he tosses you a pointed look. “a horror escape room? really?”
“what?” you say, trying to sound the slightest bit defensive for the sake of it. “it gives us plenty of excuses to get closer.”
whatever bakugou expected you to say in response, it surely wasn’t that.
the man only splutters, quickly diverting his gaze and plopping back against his seat with his muscled arms folded across his broad chest like a petulant child.
he then mutters something that you wouldn’t have caught for the life of you if it weren’t for the thing.
you grin.
“you wanted me to latch onto you for safety? you could’ve just said so.”
almost instantaneously, bakugou whips to stare at you, an absolutely horrified expression etched all over his face.
“what the fuck?”
you flash him the most innocent look you can muster. “what?”
he’s now glaring at you, but there’s no missing the redness that has crept up the high planes of his cheeks. he opens his mouth as if to say something but hesitates. he tries again, gaze fixated on you for a couple more seconds until he shakes his head in disbelief.
“…there’s no fucking way.”
you shrug again, but bakugou only stares at you, eyes squinting in suspicion. “unless…”
and, in a blink of an eye you almost could’ve missed it if you weren’t staring at him yourself, you see profound realization dawn on his features.
you gulp despite yourself.
“you have a fucking quirk?”
the truth must have been written all over your exterior, because the man leans back in slow motion like the way one would when faced with a relatively shocking revelation.
you rub at the back of your neck, suddenly feeling too self-conscious. this was the part that always made you feel uncomfortable, no matter what the context.
but especially during a first date.
“i never said i was quirkless…”
“yeah, no shit,” he retorts, not missing a single bit. “what is it, superior hearing or something?”
you shake your head slowly, “no, but it does make me privy to things that i don’t perceive with my own senses.”
bakugou’s eyebrows furrow in what you think is confusion. “what else?”
“uh—” you pause, eyes drifting down to your fiddling fingers, “—i can also levitate, be invisible, and permeate through things.”
when he doesn’t say anything for a moment, you finally chance a glance at the man, and he’s looking honest-to-god gagged.
pro-hero dynamight is fucking gagged and it’s because of you.
before he can get a word in, though, you quickly follow it up with: “but they make me so nauseous that i can barely pull them off. they’re useless, really.”
when you’re met with nothing but silence, you continue.
“i know,” you chuckle, although it comes out awkward and stilted. “it’s weird. you’re right, after all. i was just messing with you.”
more silence.
not knowing what else to do or say, you take a huge bite of your pastry, although you’re far from hungry, stomach now churning in embarrassment.
you’re in the middle of chewing the remnants of your last bite when bakugou finally speaks up.
now, you’ve heard about how the #9 pro-hero, despite his aggression and temper and generally unpleasant personality, is exceptionally intelligent, perceptive, and intuitive, but you never really thought much about it.
not even when you found out a few hours earlier that the blind date your friends set you up with was your distant superior dynamight himself.
and while you always had a thing for capable men, you didn’t want to fall early and hard lest you hurt yourself in the process. so you merely pushed back against the prejudices and expectations you had of him, and decided to just observe the person who was actually in front of you for the rest of your date.
but when he says the next thing, everything you’ve heard about him suddenly makes sense.
“…so it’s a ghost quirk.”
you don’t even get the opportunity to choke on your churro or gape at him because bakugou shakes his head so fervently, before: “that’s such a fucking waste.”
“e-excuse me?”
at your query, he locks eyes with you. “you have a strong-ass quirk, yet you’re working in admin for us. you could be doing more.”
a thousand questions fight to escape your lips, but what manages to emerge victorious is: “how’d you know i’m working admin for ground riot?”
bakugou scowls at you, but again, there’s that scarlet on his cheeks. he doesn��t answer your question, though, instead going for: “that’s your fucking takeaway?”
you shrug, not knowing what else to say. “i know my quirk is strong. but i was always made to feel like i was weird and creepy for it growing up—and until now, actually, which is why i don’t really talk about it—so i just learned not to use it.”
“well, most of it,” you add, and bakugou cocks his head to the side in question.
you take a shaky inhale.
“…ghosts still choose to talk to me.”
“that how you pick up on things beyond your five senses?”
you try not to gawk at him and at how fast he put two and two together. “…yeah.”
neither of you says anything for a few moments before bakugou finally shifts in his seat, rolling his shoulders back.
as he does so, he pipes up with: “well, i guess they’re not always accurate, though.”
you frown. although you rarely use your quirk, you still pride yourself in your capacity. “what do you mean?”
at that, bakugou turns to regard you, an unidentifiable expression on his face. “i did not want you to latch onto me.”
this time, you really can’t help it. you snort, and that grants you a glower from the pro-hero. you take it in stride, though, waving him off.
“sure, big guy.”
“don’t—” he sits up, “fucking—i’m serious—”
“yeah, but the ghosts—” he throws you a punch, which you dodge, “would disagree—” you dodge another, “ with you—” he barely misses you, “—though,” you finally finish.
and really, you don’t even need your trusty ghosts to know that—the blush that’s taken over the entirety of his face is all the proof you need.
#this one took a lot of brain juice in terms of deciding how reader's quirk manifests lol#what the ghosts lip-read and tell reader tho is bkg saying “'s not like that even happened...” re: reader latching onto him for safety#LMAOOO#anw i told myself to keep it at like 500-700 words#look what happened again#sighs#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou imagines#mha imagines#mha scenarios#bnha imagines#bnha scenarios#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou imagine#bakugou drabble#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n#bkg#2k milestone drabble
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why can't you see? (8)
wanda maximoff x fem!reader
part eight of 'you belong with me' series
summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office
word count: 3418
tags: best friends to lovers, actual idiots to lovers, they're so cute my little babies, 3/4 of this is just reader being a little shit but she's so real like she's me when im doing work, wanda's so here for it though they're so on the same wavelength it's adorable
taglist: @reginassweetheart @rroyale-109 @marvel-posts
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9
Tony suddenly feels the sensation of his jacket being pulled over his head. “Oh!” he grunts, as his eyesight his overshadowed by darkness.
“What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom?” Hayward asks in a gross joking tone, pulling the jacket back down.
Tony turns around slowly, his eyes widening in surprise and happiness once he sees who’s surprised him. “Tyler!” Tony says excitedly before hugging the man.
“What’s up Tony, how’s it going?” Hayward says cockily. Hayward smirks as he turns to you at your desk. “What’s up, L/N, still queer?” he asks.
You give him a tight-lipped smile before going back to work, and Wanda watches you with an amused grin. Your absolute lack of ability to hide when you’re annoyed always made her laugh.
“Man, we have loads of catching up to do,” Tony tells Hayward as he starts to lead him towards his office while the two begin to engage in chatter.
You roll your eyes aggressively.
God, you hated Tyler Hayward with a burning passion.
Standing up from your desk, you grab your jacket ready to head out for lunch. But of course, you need to stop by your favourite receptionist’s desk for the fifth time today. Or maybe sixth.
“What has two thumbs and hates Tyler Hayward?” you ask her as you walk over.
Wanda smiles knowingly. “Me,” you mouth to her, pointing your index finger at yourself.
“Well,” Wanda says. “I’m always here if you need saving.”
“Please,” you respond, giving her a knowing look. “Hey, do you want anything from the sandwich shop down the street?”
“Oh! Yeah, could you get me that ham and cheese one you got me last time?”
You smile. “Sure,” you say, before heading out the door.
***
“I’m really excited to meet your mom,” you tell Wanda as you take a bite of your turkey sub.
“You are?” Wanda asks, unwrapping the sandwich you got her.
“Mhm,” you nod. “I’ve got many questions to ask her.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Wanda asks curiously with a tilt of her head.
You grin before assuming a quizzical expression. “Like this.” You shift in your seat slightly to get more into character. “As a child, did Wanda show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?”
Wanda laughs. “I’m not sure she’ll know how to answer that question.”
***
The door opens quietly, and you smile as you see Iryna Maximoff start to slowly make her way towards her daughter. Wanda doesn’t notice, continuing to type on her computer.
Suddenly, Wanda feels a tap on her shoulder.
And turning her head, Wanda’s eyes light up once she sees who’s in front of her. Wanda’s told you how much she loves her mother, many, many times.
Iryna smiles at her daughter. “Hi,” she says, before Wanda jumps out of her chair to hug her tight.
“Mama!” Wanda exclaims, squeezing tighter.
You smile at the heartwarming exchange.
Deciding to go introduce yourself, you stand up from your chair, ready to go meet the woman who brought the most wonderful human being you’v ever known into this world.
You faintly hear Wanda begin to tell her mother all the things she’s missed the past few weeks, but your nerves have caught up to you slightly and you desperately want to make a good impression. You brush the dust off your pants slightly, and start to walk over.
Should you say hi?
How are you?
Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N?
Hi Ms. Maximoff, I’ve been in love with your daughter ever since she started working here so could you please like me?
Nope. Definitely not.
You groan, deciding to just get it over with.
Taking a deep breath, you stand at Wanda’s desk with a smile, drumming your fingers on the wood as you prepare for the two Maximoffs to turn around.
But of course, the universe had other plans.
You turn your head to the sound of the door creaking open, and your heart drops as you see Vision enter. With fucking flowers. And gel in his hair. And the most obnoxious country club outfit you’ve ever seen. It made your work clothes seem like a potato sack in comparison, and you realize that you can’t meet Wanda’s mother looking like this compared to her fiance. Plus, Vision already hated you and had his suspicions.
Regaining your composure, you eliminate any suspicion he may have had of you standing at Wanda’s desk by taking a candy from the communal dish at the front and immediately turn around to walk back to your own stupid desk.
Sitting back down, you frown slightly, but ultimately decide that you should probably get back to the papers that were giving you a headache of boredom.
All you wanted was to say hi.
After a couple seconds, you overhear Iryna greet Vision.
“Oh, there he is,” she says happily. Hey handsome, how are you?” You turn to see her greet him with a hug.
“I’m pretty good. How are you?” Vision responds, very obviously sucking up as you’ve seen his true personality on a daily basis. “You look great, Iryna.”
“Thank you very much,” Iryna responds with a smile. “So, are we ready for dinner?”
“Oh,” You hear Wanda express, a bit forlorn. “Well, you know, actually I kind of need to stall a bit, since Tony’s gonna have a small meeting at the end of the day,” she says guiltily. “But, it’s okay since I’m very used to killing time.” Wanda chuckles a bit.
“Oh, no worries,” Iryna tells her. “We’ll just wait a bit.”
“For sure,” Vision agrees. “I’ll go wait in the parking lot.” Turning to Iryna, he asks, “and, uh, what kind of tunes do you want for the ride? Country? Oldies?”
“Oh, anything is fine,” Iryna replies kindly.
“All right, well, see you soon!” Vision says before leaving the office.
And the second the door closes, you finally hear something that makes you smile.
“So which one is Y/N?” Iryna asks her daughter cheekily.
“Mama!” Wanda replies with a blush.
***
It’s the next day, and you’ve never been as bored as you feel now.
Actually, you’ve been on a boredom streak lately.
But today is the absolute worst of all.
After Vision had left, you had finally gotten the opportunity to properly greet Iryna before she left to join Vision in the parking lot, and Wanda had really seemed to enjoy the entire exchange.
But now, it’s the next day, and you want to absolutely murder the papers in front of you. Depsite your hatred for Tyler Hayward, him showing up yesterday made your day somewhat different from the rest.
Groaning loudly, you plop your forehead onto your desk and dread the day before you.
Wanda, of course, is entertained by your shenanigans and snickers as she watches you.
It was official.
You had died of boredom.
(An occurence that happens once every sixth months. Seven if Tony’s being extra insane.)
And your guys’ deal was that it was Wanda’s job to revive you.
***
“You see Sam’s coffee mug?” Wanda asks as you stand in front of her at her desk.
“Mhm,” you say, turning to look at the mug along with her.
Wanda leans slightly closer. “Sometimes when he’s not here, I try to throw stuff in it,” she whispers to you.
“No way,” you laugh.
Wanda nods at you with a sly grin, handing you a yellow piece of paper for you to crumple up into a ball.
“We should play paper basketball one day with his mug,” you tell her as you crumple the paper absentmindedly.
“No way,” Wanda shakes her head. “I’ve seen you play basketball.”
“What if I get you chicken paprikash and your favorite candies?”
“Deal.” Wanda says instantly. “Now throw, I can’t wait for Sam to drink it accidentally.”
‘Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never seen this side of you Maximoff. You might be a bigger prankster than I am.”
“You’re teasing me. I can tell,” Wanda narrows her eyes at you. “Throw the paper!”
You laugh before throwing it as instructed. “Damn it,” you say when it misses.
“I’m the only one who can keep up with your pranks, L/N. Plus, it’s fun doing them with you,” Wanda answers as she rummages through her drawers for something else for you to throw, unknowing of the fact that she just made your heart skip a beat. “Here, try paper clips.”
You take a silver clip from the small box Wanda has just placed on the ledge of her desk, about to throw, before her voice stops you.
“Oh wait,” she reaches to her side and grabs another paper, reading it over slightly. “This message, for Sam.”
“Smart, Maximoff,” you say, causing Wanda to smile at you.
Crumpling the paper, you throw it as best you can, but end up missing once more as it lands in Sam’s chair instead.
“You know, I might actually beat you whenever we play that coffee mug basketball game.”
***
“Hey, Steve,” you say, walking up to the man with a few sheets of paper in your hand. “Um, these new expense reports, do we really have to go back to last quarter?”
“Yeah, It’s a terrible system, I know,” Steve sympathises with you.
Suddenly, a board buried underneath the contents of Steve’s desk catches your eye. “Hey, what does 2005 season mean?” you ask.
“Uh, that’s–”
“No way,” you say as you pull the board out entirely. “Is this a scoreboard?” You ask, noticing the assortment of numbers written into various white boxes.
“Yes, it is,” Steve acknowledges.
“That’s so cool,” you say. “What’s it for?”
Steve sighs. “Sometimes, when Tony’s out, Bucky and I play this paper football game he got me started on.”
“Or when we’re bored,” Bucky adds from his desk next to Steve.
Inspecting the board a bit further, you see the hundreds of scores written on it. “Wait, this goes back two years! Oh my god,” you exclaim excitedly.
“We’re bored a lot,” Bucky says, already folding a piece of paper into a small triangle.
Steve turns to you. “Wanna try?”
You nod with a grin.
*** “Oh!” you exclaim as you flick the paper triangle to Bucky’s desk, making another shot. “Yes!” You high-five Steve who stands next to you.
“Fun, right?” he says.
“For sure, I really love the uh, paper triangle flicking and hitting things game.” You imitate the motion with your fingers.” It’s awesome.”
“We call it Hateball,” Bucky tells you with a whisper.
“Why?” you ask curiously.
“Because of how much Nat hates it,” Steve says, nodding over to Nat who’s deep in her work on her computer.
You look over at Nat, and you notice the hint of a smile on her face.
“I don’t hate it,” she mouthes at you through the screen separating the desks once Bucky and Steve look away.
You smile before turning back to Bucky and Steve. “Hey, do you guys have any other games?”
Bucky inches forward towards you slightly. “Ask Bruce to teach you Shield ball, trust me.”
***
“So, that’s what this sound is all day,” you exclaim with a smile as the ball hits the ceiling before passing between you and Bruce.
“Fun, isn’t it?” Bruce replies back.
“It’s awesome!”
*** After exhausting the two new games you had discovered today as much as possible, you decided it was best to let your co-workers get back to work.
Unfortunately, you had only blown off your work for about two hours, and needed to find a way to blow off the other five hours of the day.
So, you created your own games.
Something you liked to call ‘the Office Olympics.’ and you were surprisingly proud of what you could come up with.
Wanda, like the incredible, wonderful, and kind person she was, had agreed to help you in creating your new project, and had ended up making beautiful medals out of paperclips and old yogurt lids. They looked surprisingly professional, which I guess shuoldn’t surprise you since it was Wanda.
You, and the majority of the office staff stand in the kitchen, with Wanda putting up a poster that says, ‘Games of the 1st Shield Industry Olympiad.’
Humming the Olympic Anthem, you hold a candle in your hand which you had found stashed away in your desk, a lighter in the other. “This scented candle,” you start with a smile. “Which I found at the bottom of my desk drawer,” you turn on the lighter and light the candle. “Represents the eternal….” you shake your head. “Burning of competition, or something.”
“It smells like cookies,” Bruce says.
“Yes, it does,” you look at him seriously. “Yes, it does, my friend.”
“Okay, so, we’ll be competing for gold, silver, and bronze yogurt lids,” you say, holding up the medals by their paper clip chain. “Made specially by Wanda.”
Wanda grins at you.
“Let the games begin!” You lead the office staff out the kitchen with your candle above your head, all of you humming the Olympic anthem together.
***
“Alright, so, here, what you have is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies,” you explain as you point to the paper boxes that have yellow rubber bands holding the lid and the vessel together at the top and bottom of their horizontal sides. “And, I’m blanking on the name, could you help me out, Wanda?” you turn to the brunette who stands next to you.
“Y/N, they refer to it, as,” Wanda pauses. “Flonkerton.”
You hum.
“In English, ‘Box of Paper Snowshoe Racing’.”
“Fair enough,” you say. “But, I like Flonkerton.”
Wanda smiles.
“So,” you continue. “Who will be challenging Bruce in Flonkerton?”
“I’ll do it,” Jennifer says.
“Yes, Jennifer! Cousins taking on cousins,” you exclaim.
Both Jennifer and Bruce walk over to the boxes, Wanda helping Bruce with his footing while you help Jennifer.
“So, if you could put your foot right through here,” you lift up the yellow band for her to slip her foot through. “Right through the flonk.”
Once both Bruce and Jennifer were ready, the rest of the staff helped you put up the finish line at the end of the room, which was made of transparent tape.
“Alright, are you guys ready?” you ask, receiving a nod from both parties.
“Ready, set, go!”
And the office erupts in cheers as Bruce and Jennifer try to make it to the other side of the room with the boxes on their feet.
“Whoo! Go, go, go!” you exclaim, clapping your hands together.
“Dig deep!” Steve yells. “Dig deep!”
Soon, the two near the finish line, and you prepare to catch one of them in case they fall.
“Oh, they’re neck and neck!” Bucky exclaims.
“Come on!” Nat says.
“Oh!” the staff exclaims all at once, as the two finally reach the finish line, Jennifer winning by the slightest edge.
“Jennifer by a nose!” you announce. “Gold medal, in Flurnenton.”
“Flonkerton,” Wanda corrects.
“Thank you, delegate from Iceland,” you say teasingly.
***
“Nat, are you sure you don’t want to join in on any games?” Wanda asks Nat as she stands next to her by the water dispenser.
“I’m good with watching, thanks,” Nat chuckles, taking the last sip of her water.
“Come on, don’t you have any games you enjoy?”
“Well, there is one,” Nat says, throwing her cup out.
“No way, what is it?” Wanda asks excitedly.
“I call it Wanda-pong.”
Wanda stares confused. “What?” she asks with a small laugh.
“Mhm,” Nat nods. “I count how many times Y/N gets up from her desk and goes to reception to talk to you.”
Wanda pulls her head back in slight shock. “We’re friends.”
“If you say so,” Nat says with a wink before heading off.
***
“Peter! Gold medal,” you announce as the intern had correctly guessed who would be next to come up in the elevator. “Let’s move to our next destination, everyone.”
“Oh, Y/N!” Wanda runs up to you and joins you at your side with a large box in her arms.
“What’s up, Maximoff?” you ask with a laugh.
“I made something for our closing ceremonies,” she says with a huge grin.
“What?” you say with a smile, and Wanda opens up the box to show you. “Oh, my god,” you exclaim. “This is incredible!”
Wanda smiles as she looks up at you.
“When’d you have time to make it?”
“Automatic voicemail,” Wanda responds cheekily.
“”All right, Maximoff, all right,” you say, lifting up your hand and giving her a well-deserved high five.
***
It was the absolute worst time for Tony to walk in with Sam.
You were in the middle of the coffee race, seeing who could get a full mug of coffee from the coffee machine to Steve’s desk in the least amount of time.
However, the two walked in halfway through the race, catching you all in your tracks.
Now, you were back at your desk, filling out the stupid expense reports that had caused your death of boredom earlier this morning. But, in five minutes time you had gotten them done, and you had also closed two sales before the day was over.
Truthfully, it was about as productive as any other day. If not, more so.
“All done,” you tell Steve as you hand him the reports.
“Great,” Steve responds before you walk off.
You contemplate sitting down at your desk, and doing whatever you could find to do to entertain yourself, however, staring at the medal hung over your desk lamp, you think you have a better idea.
“Hey,” you say to Wanda as you greet her at her desk.
“I have 59 voicemails,” she responds with the phone to her shoulder.
“Great,” you respond. “Actually, can you ignore those and do something for me instead?”
Wanda stares at you for a moment before her face breaks out into a grin. “Sure.” She places the phone back into its holder.
“Pefect,” you respond back. “So, today, 5 o’clock, closing ceremonies,” you tell her with a small smile.
“Wait, really?” You nod. “Notify the athletes.”
“Will do,” Wanda says as she gets up from her seat.
***
Knocking on Tony’s door, you slowly enter his office, seeing him hunched over.
“Tony?”
“Y/N! Y/N, what’s going on?” he responds.
“Nothing, I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo.”
Tony furrows his brows. “How did you find out about that?”
Of course, the answer was Sam. And he had notified you all to be wary of Tony since the purchase was less than savory.
“Sam,” you nod your head in the direction of his desk.
“Of course,” Tony mutters. “But, thanks anyways.”
“No problem. Hey, would you mind coming out here for a sec? I’ve got something for you.”
“Really?” Tony asks, standing up from his chair.
Slowly leading him out, you smile at the arranged closing ceremony Wanda had put together, a wonderful stage of first, second, and third place, along with a few surprises she had only told you about.
“What’s this?” Tony asks.
“These are the closing ceremonies,” you tell him. “Step up.” You lead him to the top stage, and pull out one of Wanda’s medals from your pocket. “Congratulations to Tony, because he closed on his condo. So, gold medal.” You place the item around his neck.
“I’m not sure what to say,” Tony says. “But, thank you all, for this, I’m very grateful.”
You smile.
“And for, Sam Wilson,” you continue as Bruce leads Sam to the second highest stage. “The silver medal.” You place the award around his neck.
“And finally, for Jennifer Walters, the bronze medal.” You lead Jennifer to the final stage, as she had won most of the games of the Office Olympics.
You nod at Wanda, and she pushes the play button on the speaker, the Star-Spangled banner beginning to play.
All of you placing your hands on your heart, you begin to grin.
“Why are you playing the National Anthem?” Tony whispers to you.
“Um, because your condo’s in America.” you respond.
“Fair enough,” Tony says.
“Ready?” Wanda asks you, and you nod.
Wanda starts to pull the string linked to the pieces of paper she had folded earlier, giving you a grin.
“What is that?” Tony asks.
“Those are the doves,” you answer.
Wanda glances at you with a small smile, and you give her one in return.
She did, in fact revive you from your boredom.
part 9
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff angst#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wandamaximoff#wanda maximoff fluff#marvel mcu#mcu#wanda x you#wanda x y/n#wanda marvel
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Family Mission: The Backyard
"If you know what's best for you, you'll stay there and listen to me carefully. Again, you did not see me get inside his body so this might look like a silly air gun but I can promise you that you'l regret making any single move,"
Fearing for my life, I obviously followed my stepfather order, or whatever creature that reign over my stepfather's body. After all, the way my big bro just suddenly lose his consciousness mid-way playing game after my stepfather pointed and then shot the invisible air gun to him is enough to convince me that he's not playing around.
"Okay, now, since you've been seated comfortably, let me explain to you. I crash landed on your backyard earlier this morning and your father was making the whole thing difficult for me as he somehow spotted and snapped the pictures of me and my kind and even made some call to Washington DC, so we are compromised as we know it. Luckily, because he photographed us, we became aware of his.....awareness, if that's the word, and I decided to pay him a visit. He's physically here, but everything about him is.....me now. I'm in charge of his body and my fella is also in charge of your older brother. He's processing the whole thing now, hence the lost of consciousness, but he'll be fine....fine as in fine like me. Now, I know and your older brother know about your little alien wet dream sequence you wrote in your diary that you stupidly left in the study room for everyone to see. Your father, stepfather is obviously embarassed. Me on the other hand, well, I love all the fucked up sequences you came out with based on the memory reading I did, so here's what I offered you, collaborate with me to harbor my kind from the incoming investigator and you can live your dream with us, or you can try to run and I will definitely stuff someone from my kind inside of you. Up to you,"
"I....I will help you.....daddy,"
"Okay, stop. Don't be weird. You called me sir usually, so stick with that. And please, a boner? Are you kidding me?"
"Uhh...ohhh...okay sir. Sorry for making you uncomfortable,"
"Okay then, son, let's wake your brother up and clean up the mess in the backyard. Then, what do you think if we workout to the gym nearby?"
"Sounds like a solid plan....sir,"
As the three of them walked to the backyard to start cleaning the scene and take out the remaining aliens from the spaceship, the father said
"By the way, we also held 5 prisoners within our ship. They're criminals, the infected ones from our kind, maybe we can just expose them to the investigator, planting their dead form inside the spaceship? After all, not like our kind just visited Earth for the first time so our data probably already exist in your government's database,"
"Your lead, sir. You know what's best,"
"See, Griffin, be like your brother. More obedient and has more excitement about extraterrestrial life. If only you are like him, you'll not be braindead and taken over by now,"
"Stop making the nerd hard, dad,"
"Hahahahaha, I love the chemical reaction from this whole dynamic. The surge of anger and disgust that I instantly repressed and turned into excitement upon seeing him getting a boner when I talked like his dad but then twisted it into the most unhinged shit no normal human would ever say.....yeah, you should try it sometimes, Grif,"
With his cheek flushed in embarassment, Jerry meekly walk besides his possessed brother all the while looking at his father muscular back and ass that look just so perfect this morning. Maybe the alien inside make him look at his dad with different shades, but well, it's a welcomed change
#alien possession#male possession#alien takeover#alien expansion#male puppet#male takeover#family possession
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ARE YOU SURE?
carl grimes x fem!reader
tags: smut, awkwardish sex so watch out, p in v!
masterlist pinned on my profile! (i can’t link anythinggg)
read ghost in the woods. (also pinned on masterlist)
You always felt like crushes made your life more interesting. Even after the apocalypse started. Although that wasn’t able to be your main priority throughout the years, the world became more normal. The walkers, the quietness, the fighting. It all made sense and you adapted. Like humans are supposed to. However, with everything going back to normal, you were able to focus on the things you wanted rather than needed.
That being said, you were able to focus on someone you had quite a large crush on.
Carl.
You looked at him and wondered how no one else has seen him like you do. Just look at him. He has probably the most perfect hair you’ve ever seen. The sweetest looking lips and freckles that complimented his face so well. You were practically enthralled with this man and he had no clue. Or so you thought. Him being so clueless to how obsessed you were with him frustrated you to no end. You talked to him occasionally, whenever it seemed best.
During certain events you’d talk to him or you’d smile at him when you crossed paths. Sometimes you had the same watch shift and you had hours of just talking with each other. For some reason that never translated to outside work. He was always busy with Judith.
You just wanted to talk to him more. Anything.
That’s why, when Rick came up to you both during a watch shift and asked you to go on a run for him, you were ecstatic. Nervous like hell, but excited nonetheless. “I was wonderin’ if the two of you would be willin to go out tomorrow for some supplies. Nothing major just some batteries and what not.” Rick explains. You look over to Carl and he looks back to give a small smile before responding to his dad. “Yeah that shouldn’t be a problem.” He says. “Well it’ll have to be a bit later than a usual run…we won’t have enough people here to take your watch shifts till about noon.”
So it was a late run. Sounds like you’d have to be very focused.
And you were. At first at least. It was very awkward, it made you realize you never talked to him outside of working which technically you still were you just were trapped in a confined space alone. You began to overthink. You started to wonder if he’d seen you stare at him or if he saw how much you sought him out when you left your house in Alexandria.
But he didn’t know. All he knew is that he had to keep cool. You didn’t know it, but Carl was just as obsessed with you as you were. Usually when he’s like this he’d act on it. At least he did with Enid before they broke up. He would initiate everything with Enid, but with you…well you made him nervous. You were just really pretty and he was scared to look like some loser in front of you. The crush was so intense he actively avoided you which confused him really.
It explained his silence in the car. You two were told to drive out sort of far, but you decided to stop at an abandoned house first. Getting there, the sun was going down so it had to be quick. “Guess we should make this fast.” Carl states, getting out of the car and shutting the door. You agree. “Yep. Batteries…other shit.” You giggle. He smiles and you both head inside shortly after clearing it. It was pretty messy, paper and books everywhere along with random pillows scattered.
You both take separate paths into the home just to make sure there weren’t any surprises waiting for you behind doors. You have your knife in hand and a flashlight in the other, ready to open a bedroom door. Once you do, you open it to see a peculiar sight.
The bedroom was very nicely decorated to say the least.
There was a large bed with silk red sheets over it along with some nice pillows. there were dead rose petals scattered over it and the floor. The drawers in the room were all open with clothes falling out of them so you can only assume that their plans were scrapped. The bed was simply untouched. You sort of just stand there and stare at it, since that was all you really could do. You take it in and think about what could’ve happened when Carl comes up behind you, completely unaware. “Hey I checked the rest of the—woah..” He sees the bedroom and you snap out of it.
“Hm?” You look at him and he’s completely red. He takes a moment before continuing. “I checked the rest of the house. It’s safe. We should look through and find what we can.” He tells you. “Right. Yeah, of course.” So you scavenge through the house, mostly finding everything you needed in the kitchen and bathrooms. You noticed there was only one room however. Once you gathered everything you thought would be useful, you and Carl decided to leave, although it was unlikely you would until the next morning.
Before leaving you looked through the window to see that it was pitch black outside. You let the curtain fall back closed. “I’m not sure it’s a great idea to leave here.” You tell him. He looks at you and processes, letting his bag fall off his shoulder. “Help me barricade the door.” You both move to push one of the larger chairs in the living room to sit against the door. Once you’re all done, you decided to settle sleeping arrangements.
“I can sleep out here. On the couch.” He says, looking back to the couch which had no cushions on it. You look back at him and giggle. “We can both stay in the room? If that’s fine with you. There’s pillows in there.” You tell him. He hesitates but agrees. In the room you realized there a lack of comfort. You ended up lighting all the small candles and leaving them on the tables or dressers around the room to make it comfier. There were pillows but little blankets. The only ones being the silk sheets that were on the bed. He insists he’s fine so you leave him be and kick your shoes off the lay on the bed.
You both sit there in silence. Nothing. Not even a goodnight, the tension is incredibly thick and you’re both hyper aware of it. God it’s pissing you off. Doesn’t he get it? Doesn’t he see the way you look at him? You piss him off just as much. He just doesn’t have the balls to say it. It’s his fault after all, he avoids you constantly. He wants you. He wants you so fucking bad he just can’t—
“Just lay on the bed.” You blurt. His eyes open instantly. “It’s fine you can just lay on the bed.” You repeat. Carl slowly sits up and looks up at the bed. “Are you sure?” He asks. “Yeah I’m sure. We’re mature enough to do this without it being a thing. Right?” You sit up and look down at him. He just looks at you. Admiring how good you looked with just the warm lighting the candles gave. It almost turned him on. So he grows the balls to get up and kick his shoes off to lay on the bed. You lay back down and you both just sort of lay there, staring at the ceiling.
Carl was terrified. But he wanted you, he really did. He knew if he had the chance to do anything, it’d be right now. He can’t back out, he can’t avoid you. So he made the first move. That being, rolling to his side to look at you. You furrow your eyebrows and turn to see him, and it almost makes you laugh. You chuckle. “What?” You say amused. Your smile makes him happy. You reciprocate his action, turning onto your right side to face him. You sort of stare at each other and he has the slightest smile on his face. It’s very subtle but it’s there.
“What?” You repeat. He looks at you and builds up some courage. “You look pretty.” He says shortly. God you just wanted to scream how you felt. But he beats you to it. “I’ve sort of…I dunno I’ve been avoiding you for some reason. Well not some reason, I know the reason I just have this stupid crush and—” He nervously rambles which you find kind of sweet. But you suddenly get really excited. Was he seriously confessing? Right now? Everything went mute for a moment, you honestly heard nothing of what he was saying. You just felt the urge to kiss him. So you did.
Your hand moves beneath his chin to hold him in place while you press your lips to his. You both felt incredibly relieved, prompting a smile from his lips into the kiss. He almost moans, kissing you is all he’d been wanting. He grips your wrist and he moves his own hand to hold the side of your face, deepening the kiss. He moves over you, turning you to your back while kissing you deeply. Your hands move to his arms, running them up and down the fabric of his flannel. That reminds you.
You still have clothes on!
You pull back from him and he looks down at you, watching as you push his flannel off his shoulders. He realizes and is all for it. “Are we…um..” Carl lets you just start to take his clothes off with no problem. “This is fine.” He says with a smile, watching as you try your hardest to unbuckle his belt. Once you do he finally stops you to begin taking your clothes off, except you stopped him once he got to your bra. “Not yet. Please?” You question. He retracts his hands from your back and nods. “Yeah of course. I want my shirt on too…if that’s okay?” He looks down at you hopeful. You smile at him sweetly and nod.
“That’s okay.” You tell him. Of course you guys still wanted each other, but you still had your fears and insecurities. Not to mention you weren’t the closest just yet, this was on a whim. “But we can still…you know?” Carl questions, wanting to make sure you still wanted to go through with it. You nod and he takes that as a sign to pull his jeans off, meanwhile you take yours off. Once you’re ready, he looks down and can’t quite see. The room was dark, even with the candles. “Um…” He furrows his eyebrows but fuck he’s aching. He gently rubs himself over your folds, eliciting moans from the both of you. “Shit that feels so good. Really wet I—”
“Do you need help?” You cut him off, although you were getting impatient. It felt good but you needed him inside of you. It was a feeling you’d never felt before but you craved it. Terribly. “If you can’t find the right place? The hole, Carl.” How embarrassing for him. But to be fair it was dark in the room and he’d never done this in his life. But he agrees to the help and you lean down and almost guide him. Feeling his tip graze across your folds once again had you moan, but he prodded himself at your hole right away.
He breathed in sharply but slowly started to push himself all the way inside of you, bottoming out deep inside. His eyes fall shut and he drops his forehead to your shoulder. “Are you okay?” You turn to see him but he’s just breathing so heavy. “M-mhm. Just really tight. N’ warm…I don’t know if I’ll last long Im sorry.” He tries to adjust and pushes deeper in. You moan and it’s so much for him. He sits there for a moment, doing his best to catch his breath. Although that takes him a moment. Once he’s ready he pulls back to look at you.
He grins before starting to move his hips, starting in a really irregular manner. He was struggling a little bit but you could tell in the noises he was making. He was trying hard to not finish. He didn’t want to embarrass himself. Soon after, he ended up finding a nice rhythm. It felt amazing for the both of you, the moans slipping from your mouth got him closer each second. Your hands went from gripping the silk sheets beneath you to his side, grabbing at his shirt as you got closer.
He tries to shut himself up by kissing at your neck, occasionally biting. The sound of him in your ear was absolutely perfect. “Feels so good,” He says, over and over between whimpers. “Can’t take it you feel amazing.” It makes you smile that he can find such pleasure with you. He goes back to your neck, sucking marks to the skin.
It got to the point where he barely retracted himself from your heat, instead he kept buried inside. His breath got heavier and heavier, your moans got louder. “Carl I—” You start, unable to finish your sentence. “Mhm right there.” He shoves himself all the way inside, hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. You finish, clenching around him which makes him pull out straight away to finish on your tummy. All over your shirt too.
It takes you a moment to catch your breath, but watching Carl do the same made you so happy. It finally happened. After a while of what felt like pining, you finally had him. He smiles, still breathing heavily as he rests his head on your chest. You wrap your arms around him and run your fingers through his hair. You stew on the fact that he’s in your arms. He’s still getting over the fact he was inside you. Also you felt perfect.
He’s really glad he took that chance.
The next day the drive back was quiet yet peaceful. Except you were both thinking the same thing. How would you tell everyone back home? Would this keep happening, were you guys going to be together officially?
I guess you’d find out.
a/n: so actually don’t flame me if this is dog shit IM SORRYYY if it’s terrible or if there’s spelling mistakes i’m just a girl let’s leave me alone on mistypes. anyway guys idk what the hell is going on with matchups, don’t ask me dawg i’ve done three in total out of sixteen who knows when those will be finished
taglist: @zomb-1-egutzz @lunarnightt @ilikestrawberriesandwomen @hiro--aoki @h00d-tr4sh @callsignwidow @sstar-ggirl
#carl grimes#the walking dead#twd#carl grimes fanfiction#carl grimes twd#carl grimes x reader#carl grimes fluff#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes x fem!reader#carl grimes the walking dead#the walking dead carl#carl grimes smut#twd carl#twd headcanons#twd smut
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Smashing Diamonds
Pairing: Nate Jacobs x Fem!Reader
Summary: The well-organized party turns south for Nate when he sees his former fling just a few steps away from Maddie, with whom he recently rekindled. Deciding to stay away from her, he realizes he can't help himself after noticing what she is wearing. Word count: 2.3k (2381 words)
Warnings: smut, dirty talk, name-calling, slut shaming, degradation, fingering, a bit of choking, cursing, unprotected sex
A/n: I don't know why but I got the need to try something dirty and Nate is the perfect person to try this on. Anyway, first time really trying to get into it, so I apologize if it isn't the best. Also, I wrote this as quickly as I could, because I was afraid the writer's block was gonna get me, but thankful it did!
Friday night, a perfect time for partying. When your friend Lea first mentioned the idea, you already knew what you wanted to wear. A very transparent top and skirt, with minimal material, mostly consisting of thin stripes of diamonds. A hot look for any club.
However, Lea didn't have any club on her mind. She mentioned your friends from East Highland High.
" You remember Barbara, yeah, well she said that there was this party happening on Friday and how we should totally come. " You thought about it, not much linked you to the people from there, which seemed like a great opportunity to meet new people and face new adventures. Without any hesitation, you agreed to this party.
~~~time skip~~~
After dressing up, you gave yourself a few spins, and view your reflection from the full body mirror, admiring the shiny gems that only covered small parts of your skin.
" This is going to be epic. " You took a selfie of yourself as you heard a car honking in front of your house. Quickening your steps, you managed to pass your living room with neither of your parents taking a glance at you, knowing they wouldn't approve of the outfit.
" Damn, girl, are you trying to get knocked up?!?! " Lea let her jaw fall to the floor as you were walking towards her car.
" Hahaha, not really. " A giggle slipped through your glossy lips.
" Well, good luck trying to find a guy who will pull out in time with you like this. "
You gasped dramatically, giggling once again. " Oh my God, Lea! " She winked at you, driving away from your house and straight to the party house.
Before you even stepped into the house, a smell of weed hit your nose. Alcohol bottles were at every table, every counter, and at any corner available. The whole house was covered in purple and pink lights, pouring over the crowds, not missing a single human. Music was bombing the whole place with its beat, and you couldn't wait to get to the dancing.
You noticed that just next to the big sofa, Barbara sat on an armchair, vaping casually. Lea and you made your way over to her. She quickly saw you coming her way and stood up with open arms.
" Look who's here!! " She screamed out, even though it was barely heard due to the loud music.
" So glad you could come! " She said firstly looking at Lea and then at you. It took her 10 seconds to look at you before she commented " Obviously with a purpose! "
You laughed, smiling at her and slightly shrugging. Lea just nodded enthusiastically at her. She encourages you to give Barbara a turn, at which you initially shake your arms. However, Barbara was intrigued and kept encouraging you to do so. Giving them a mocking eye roll, you spun around with Lea holding your hand in the air.
" Well shit, you better take that ass on the dance floor. " BB clicked with her tongue.
" Oh, don't worry I will, but first I need a drink to warm up. " At your words Barbara, lead you two to the drinks, giving each of you a glass.
" In that case, drink the fuck up! "
Two and a half cups of alcohol were more than enough to make you drag yourself and Lea on the dance floor. The beat was gushing out of the speakers so loudly, you could feel it in your chest.
You completely let yourself go to the music, the freedom you were able to feel while dancing was mesmerizing. Nothing else had your focus and attention, with this addictive feeling you couldn't care less what your outfit was showing and whatnot.
Across the room, Nate was standing with his friends, as each held their cup, staring at the new girl. You.
" Fuck, who's that? " One groaned out while eyeing your body.
" Just some girl from Valley Torah High. " Nate's voice spoke as each of his friends turned to him with interest.
" Yo, Jacobs, you never told us about this one. You fucked her, right? " The same guy asked, waiting to hear confirmation. Nate looked at him quickly before, staring back at you.
" Ohhh! So where are the photos, we didn't see her yet. " Nate frowned at him, as the group of guys laughed.
" I didn't take any. " He admitted quickly. Meeting the guy's confused faces, he added. " Didn't have time. "
" I see. " The black-haired one said straightening himself up. " Well in that case we will make some. " He turned to the guy next to him, pulling out his phone and handing it to him, before deciding otherwise and giving his phone to Nate.
" I trust you will know better which angles to film. " With that, he started approaching you. Nate didn't even acknowledge the phone fully, his mind was kept on you.
The way you swayed to the song, dancing and turning. Nate had sex with you twice, firstly after meeting you at a party and the secondly when you accidentally found yourself in the same store. Expect that nothing else happened, you two barely ever talked, you knew your names but that was it.
Nate did make an effort to ask for your number, but with him getting together with Maddie once again, he didn't think of contacting you. He did, however, look at your social media, just enough to know which school you attended and who you hung out with.
Since he was on good terms with Maddie, who knows would you two ever interact again, if it wasn't for this night, that outfit, and Nate's friend.
As the guy was approaching you, Nate took the chance to look at your surroundings, seeing his girlfriend had spotted you. " Of course, she did, who fucking didn't? " He thought to himself while watching the stipes of your skirt reveal your cheeks.
The sight made him close his eyes for a second to regain his senses. The outfit was almost slutty, whorish, he thought, but yet it just made it harder for him to not start rubbing his pants.
Just before the man next to you could get to you, one of Nate's friends tried to call out to him. " Yo, you filmin' this? "
Without any hesitation, Nate dropped the damn phone, muttering under his breath " fuck this. " and fastly started making his way towards you.
His friends laughed a bit, at his reaction, waiting to see what was about to unfold. You were still in your own world when a black-haired guy spoke to you. " Hey- " not even properly starting his sentence before Nate go to him. He looked at him with a puzzled look on his face. " Thanks for borrowing me your phone, now you can go back for it, I left it with Caleb. " The taller guy said, composed and relaxed.
You stared at the two strangers, the taller one had a serious face as he spoke to the other one. " What are you talk- "
" Caleb has it. Your phone. " He cut him off, you tried to hear better what were they talking about as you leaned closer to them. The two of them just stared at each other, not matching their facial expression.
" Go. " The taller one almost whispered it to the other one's ear, who left only a second later. Just then you could recognise the man in front of you.
" Oh hey, you. Nate right? " He just nodded slowly, his eyes watching you lazily, his figure towering over you. You stared at him, awkwardly standing, feeling a bit uncomfortable since you were the only two people not dancing in the crowd.
" Come with me. " Nate said, walking away to the stairs. You followed before stopping in front of the stairs and calling after him. " For what? "
He turned to you, an annoying expression on his face, almost frustrated. " We both know why you are here, so you gonna come and get it or what? " You turned back to see Lea was drinking at the kitchen counter, before meeting your eye, you supposed she couldn't see Nate, but she knew what going upstairs meant, so with a jovial smile, she made a cheering gesture.
You laughed, acknowledging her excitement, and then followed Nate upstairs. He didn't look at the people that were there, he walked right passed them and into a room, that seemed almost fully prepared for this encounter to take place.
You went in after him, closing the door. " So you remember me? " He asked a rhetorical question. " Then you must remember what you were doing to me. " Your eyes glanced at him innocently, after all that dancing, you still felt a bit mischievous.
" I don't know Nate, am I suppose remember it? " He immediately came closer to you, almost fully, chest to chest. " You wanna play a game ha? "
" Is this what you came for? "
You preached up your lips as if you were thinking about it, locking up at him and seeing the tense position of his jaw. A lot took for you to not smile, since you knew the moment you looked down you would see how much more tension was held in his lower area. But, of course you couldn't resist to look. " Oh my. " You gasped, almost faking it. " Now I see what is stressing you out. "
Your hand automatically pushed itself on his bulge, making him bite into his lower lip. But before you could even react to that, he spun you around and pinned you on the wall. Now his covered dick almost went right into your hole, as he made the quietest groan ever.
As he held you in that position, his big hands began to rub in the inner of both of your thighs, the warmth it was creating made you push yourself into him completely out of reflex. He groaned into your ear, before sneaking one of his hands into your panties, only to rip them off you. His fingers immediately stuck themselves inside you, teasing each and every part viciously.
" Fuck, ah! " You moaned hard into the wall. He left his right hand to flick around your pussy and let his left hand reach your breasts. He easily got to them, as only the diamond stripes kept him from squeezing them firmly causing you to hiss out in a painful satisfaction.
" Fuck, yeah! Tell me how it feels. " Nate pushed his still-covered front into you, as his fingers played with your entrance, before entering into you once again.
" Oh, Nate! " You practically screamed out his name. " It feels so fucking good! " You couldn't help but drag yourself all over his pants, just wishing you could pull them down. However, your hands were more preoccupied with holding you against the wall.
" Imagine how good would it feel with my dick inside you. " At that, you whined mockingly, pushing your ass into him. This made his hand leave your pinched breasts as he smacked your ass, vividly leaving his handprint on it.
" A whore like you would, just love that, wouldn't you? " You nodded hard, making sure he had seen it. His left hand then once again made contact with your ass, slapping it to the point of full redness. His fingers still worked on you, as you felt your orgasm approaching. Nate noticed it, smirking before completely letting you go. He placed his hands on his pants, starting to pull them down. You turned to him, wishing to do it yourself, but were met with rejection.
" You better keep those hands on the fucking wall. You already fucked with me enough tonight, so I'm going to let you know how it feels. " You barely turned around, as he slipped his hard dick into you. The sudden thrust into you made you scream out in pleasure. Nate didn't even let you take a full breath in before he started pounding into you.
He thrusted more and more into you, groaning at the feeling. His hands held your hips as he fucked you. His eyes watched your ass bounce with all the diamond stripes. The diamonds glimmered and shook at each smack, creating a quite beautiful sight that was hard to look away from. It was mesmerizing him and he truly thought about how much he enjoyed this, having you against the wall, being completely at his mercy and command, he was becoming harder just thinking about it.
You hummed at his thrusts until Nate grabbed your neck and choked it." Be louder...can't hear you. " He said as he slammed his full length into you. " Mhm, I'm gonna cum! " You yelped out, squeezing his dick so perfectly. " Yeah, come on...fuck! " Nate encouraged smugly, stopping his rhyme just for a moment. " I want to see you cum on my dick. " He then slammed once again, strongly into you, as you shook helplessly.
" You wanted this all along. To get...fucked so well. And so...dirty! " Nate panted into your ear, biting on your earlobe, before relesing it. " Mhm, fuck...I like you this tight. And wet. " His left hand was left at your ass as his right one returned to your pussy. Fingers rubbing into you, before sliding in.
" Mhmm... " You moaned as tears started to come out of your eyes. " Yeah...come on! Come on my dick! " With just one merciless push into you, you released your juices all over him. Nate groaned at the feeling of wetness covering him, throwing his head back, before returning to fucking you.
" Nate! Ah! " You groaned, feeling his dick twitch. " Fuck, cum in me! " When you said it, almost breathlessly, he knew he couldn't keep going for long. It took a few more thrusts, before he too released his juices, pushing himself fully into you, back to back. He left breaths on your back, as you both calmed down and returned to your normal breathing pace.
Nate pulled his dick out of you, walked over to the bathroom, getting himself a towel and cleaning himself up.
" You still fuck good, Jacobs. I remember it. " Nate only smirked at your words, trying to not let it affect him too much. He took one towel and gave it to you to do the same.
" I still have your number. I might text you for another time. "
" We will see if you will. "
#nate jacobs#nate jacobs imagine#nate jacobs x reader#nate jacobs x y/n#nate jacobs x you#nate euphoria#nate jacobs smut#jacob elordi#euphoria imagine#euphoria#audreyemeralds#audrey emeralds
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