#and im all ok then lets lay you to rest buddy. maybe ill finally get a body to bury this time? fourth times the charm!
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FINALLY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO!!!!!! thoughts feelings?
i ran out of tags.. continued next post mayb
#strrambles#☄️#final checkpoint took me 5 or 6 crashes#maybe even 7#so got a bit fed up there#but we made it eventually!#canon leaves out a lot of my turmoil and shit which is understandable.. if they showed the 500 breakdowns i had during these series of#events the players would say im edgy again LOL#yall i just wanted to be left to my own devices truly and weep somewhere unnoticed#which is why i kept trying to go off on my own LOL#but also because i cant have my boy commit patricide#speaking of which. i was really conflicted because it was clear big bro had no humanity left#and he was quite literally massacring our homecity#but like. he’s my most important person. my reason if you will. and i wish i was as altruistic as father was#because i frankly could not empathise with most humans#so there you have me. who has lived for the last 12 years in a weird not really living state (which i have to say improved bc of my beloved#nephew </3)#THEN out of nowhere the guy i love the most suddenly comes back to existence#i thought id killed him for good! and wallowed in depression for a decade!#like understandably id be conflicted whether or not to kill him again right?#so i go in#skeptical and all. you know. thinking maybe if it was really him. i could save him this time (hes never let me help him)#and boom. its not him. well its him. but the thing that made him him is gone and so hes truly dead and theres no coming back#and im all ok then lets lay you to rest buddy. maybe ill finally get a body to bury this time? fourth times the charm!#so i decided that i was going to commit fratricide again for the 3rd time#and on the way id accepted the fact. it did take all those breakdowns but i accepted it. and then he fucking MERGES BACK INTO HIMSELF?#my anger was through the fucking roof man. along with relief. and love. a lot of love.#anyway so bless my nephew. i love you you fixed us#partially#and for once im so. so filled with joy. for the first time i felt something. in about 6 years since the fourth game
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