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wewinbees · 4 years ago

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“you only saw me as a weapon!” an in-depth analysis of tommy and techno’s relationship /rp

a mild focus on techno’s thoughts since it’s his speech, but not one or the other is in the right here. a lot of this might have been said, but this is a BIG collection from pogtopia to doomsday to address as many angles as possible. to preface, i don’t think tommy sees techno as a weapon and nothing else, but the point remains that techno feels like he does, and that’s important.

this is from like january btw lol

we’ll start with “the blade” tommy’s nickname for techno, which got adopted by a lot of the server (as tommy’s nicknames tend to be). most other people have the Big [X] format, but techno gets this specialised nickname. i think the reason he developed a negative association with it was because of when it was used; when they need him for fights. the most important would be the vault reveal, with wilbur getting everyone to victoriously chant “we have the blade!” to boister morale. this would have been fine in and of itself, if it weren’t for the events of the rest of the day and what that name would come to represent. it ends up becoming a taunt to him, because that’s what people get close to him for. his use to them as the blade rather than his friendship to them as technoblade

tommy’s always very happy to call in techno for help, and techno usualy sorts it out with... minimal effort required. i do see this more as a blend of tommy’s pride in knowing techno and smugness at having that kind of upperhand in a fight over him viewing techno solely as a weapon to use, but this still ends up being detrimental to their friendship because of how much it happens. remember, the entire reason techno joined the server was to help wilbur and techno form pogtopia. techno doesn’t mind helping tommy out, but at some point it’s going to be frustrating, being called in for any and all minor struggles. but in the end of the day, it’s fine, because they’re brothers under the same cause. destroying manberg. Oh Wait.

the main issue came after the festival, with that faith and trust tommy had in techno being shattered; rightfully so, because watching tubbo get murdered was traumatic for him, because for tommy the pit was no way to settle that conflict (which reminded, wasn’t techno’s suggestion, it was proposed and pushed onto them by wilbur). since tommy sees technoblade as unbeatable, he couldn’t understand why techno was so easily peer-pressured by manberg. he was threatened by how many people were against him, he was stressed dealing with the voices telling him to do it, he didn’t see any other way out, he wasn’t getting any support from his only other allies even though he was looking right at them and they still did nothing.

but tommy didn’t understand because he thought techno could have won. techno did try to stall as well, but without orders from his friends he ended up following schatt’s, and once he realised he had the power to kill everyone on stage, he just gave into that power. the miscommunication during the pogtopia arc was why techno felt as betrayed as he did, and why the victim complex argument annoys me so much, since he was kept in the dark for that long while grinding resources for the army. also, since techno wasn’t there for l’manberg’s peaceful days or the start of the disc saga he would never understand how important those attachments were to people, so he’d feel little remorse blowing them all up (especially since he knew that was the backup plan for pogtopia anyway, and just because people were unhappy about it didn’t change the fact that it was a plan)

a lot of people say that techno should have known that pogtopia’s goal was to form a new government, that at some point he should have overheard the real plan. everyone agreed to ‘destroy manberg’ (as in the government not the land) but somehow techno never found out about the ‘restoring l’manberg’ part of the plan. how that happened, who knows, but in the end of the day, the writers chose for that miscommunication to happen for the story. it’s not a how or a why, it’s just a fact that was written in. he didn’t find out until it was right in front of him, and he was bound to feel betrayed by that, enough that he was driven to do something irrational. my personal theory is that techno was mainly following wilbur’s orders, and because wilbur was the real traitor, chances are he never mentioned any forming of a new government since he knew that would lose techno’s support. wilbur was probably using techno as a weapon, that was his mentality for a lot of people back then, but since he was the leader of pogtopia then that negative transference carried on to the rest of the members for techno, most of all tommy as he was the other key founder, and not as underhanded about getting techno’s help. i’d say wilbur’s address of techno during the final speech was the a key reason as to why techno doesn’t feel as used by him than he is with tommy, solidifying the anarchy bros before dying, meaning anything else could be revealed.

after the war, the bedrock bros were completely alienated from eachother. tommy started to blame everything about l’manberg’s destruction on techno, since wilbur died and ghostbur isn’t really at fault for anything. techno distanced himself from everything, going into retirement for the unforeseeable future because he felt like his violent anarchist tactics were futile and grew tired of constant conflict. he talked to tommy a few times during retirement, and every single time, he asks tommy how the government was working out for him. when he was at risk of being exiled, just before being exiled and immediately after exile. he wanted tommy to see the government in the same light as he did, because when l’manberg sold him out he realised they were the same. they’d both been betrayed by the government and from that point on he fully believed tommy would be better off away from l’manberg. but every time tommy said no, because he believed in the original dream wilbur had for l’manberg and because he trusted tubbo’s leadership. techno was smug when he was proved right because of course he was he’s technoblade. plus, they did view eachother as enemies at this point, so it’s not unacceptable for them to argue with eachother right now.

that brings us to the execution. traumatising! the refusal to run a fair trial and the dehumanising treatment from his old allies in pogtopia hammer this home, but importantly they rope philza into the chaos this time. ALSO it’s important to mention that techno was killed; he just got an extra life from the totem. he was actually killed and his character experienced that pain as punishment. he was pushed out of retirement, which was unjust in his eyes, since he believed he had genuinely changed. it didn’t help that quackity explicitly told him it wasn’t actually punishment for the withers, but instead a move to consolidate power, furthering his view of the cabinet as corrupt. from that point on he left retirement. he’d been doing well without violence, building connections with new people like vikk and lazar and finding a fragile form of peace, but in the end this shattered it. he’s back to being the blade, speaking with violence, because l’manberg made it clear there was no other way for him to be heard at this point. so he’s going to destroy them, even if he has to do it alone.

enter stage raccooninnit.

tommy taking refuge in techno’s house because he knew techno was rich enough for him to steal his resources and strong enough to defend him from dream is... interesting. he couldn’t go back to l’manberg, but he took refuge with a man who he viewed as a villain. this probably doesn’t help techno’s opinion of him, since he is quite literally using him for his resources, but in the end of the day tommy was desperate and quite literally on the verge of death, so he seemed to take some kind of pity on him. the exile period of their relationship is definitely the most important part of this argument, because it was just the two of them: no wilbur or pogtopia as an external force (though the pressure of dream and l’manberg still affected things) but in the same way ultimately doomed to fail. they fight for a moment, but ultimately settle as ‘business partners’. which quickly evolves back into a friendship like the one they had before the festival.

my least favourite take is that either one of them never valued the other at this point because this is just.... violently not true. they started off working for mutual benefit; tommy explicitly agreed to do minor terrorism in l’manberg and to help techno get his weapons back in return for techno’s help getting the discs back and taking refuge in his house. from the start both of them stated their limits:

techno was always planning on getting revenge on l’manberg for what happened on the day of his execution

tommy never wanted to upset tubbo, and wanted to put getting his discs back first

should note that tommy changes his mind on the disc’s priority later on, but at the point of their alliance he does make it clear that’s what he wants out of the partnership. the issue is that from the start both of them went in with blind optimism. neither of them lied to eachother or forced them to change their viewpoints but in the end of the day they could never be on the same side as long as l’manberg was involved. (note, i think some people think he wasn’t but techno was actually planning on helping tommy getting the discs back, with him getting annoyed at tommy letting tubbo give dream the disc because that made both of their jobs so much harder, but it was more of a long term goal bc he knew dream was hard to beat. plus before his execution, he visited tommy and strongly implied he would be willing to help with the discs, and that he would be a better ally in those personal aims than NLM were)

i don’t understand the ‘techno was only using tommy’ accusation here because like... how? what would he have to gain by having tommy on his side? he could definitely have blown up l’manberg without his help, so why bring him in at all? it was a very mutual agreement of ‘we’re using eachother’ that developed into genuine friendship. i’ve always seen it as a teaching experience: techno knows tommy had been wronged by NLM, and by extension tubbo, and by taking him on these minor terrorism trips, he’s showing tommy the worst of l’manberg. look, look at this execution stand, look at what they’ve done. and in doing this, he’s trying to prove to tommy that what he’s going to do to l’manberg is right. and in showing him the worst of NLM, he’s neglecting all of its good parts, but again, techno cant see any positives in l’manberg, and is trying to show tommy that everyone, especially tommy, would be better off without it. and tommy had criticisms of l’manberg before he was exiled, especially in regards to tubbo. he told ranboo the reason he chose wilbur to be president instead of tubbo was because he was worried the presidency would ruin their friendship, and Look At Exactly What Happened. techno highlighting the flaws of the country to tommy was easy because it WAS flawed and it hurt both of them. and techno’s hope was that tommy would join him in the eventual destruction of it, because he wanted to share his revenge with tommy and for him to get his own justice against l’manberg. but it... didn’t quite work out that way.

they both tried to make it easier for the other; techno told tommy he didn’t need to fight against l’manberg if he didn’t want to, but tommy came with him to the festival anyway to confront dream, despite techno’s mission being against the government in that situation. tommy started to view tubbo’s cabinet as corrupt for the execution and neglecting him during exile, and ended up helping techno out around the base and even toning down the purposeful annoyance (per techno’s ooc request). and the day before the green festival, he told techno he would help to destroy l’manberg (not knowing how quickly things would escalate the next day, since doomsday was fairly spontaneous) but in the end they would never be able to find a full compromise: techno would always be an anarchist and tommy could never hurt tubbo.

people accuse techno of not caring for tommy, which really annoys me because it’s not?? true??? if anything he shows more outward affection than tommy did. he didn’t have any benefit from taking in tommy, but he still did it. it’s not really basic decency either, given that they were technically enemies beforehand. he picked up on tommy’s fragile state around dream and defended, hid him despite the fact that he owed dream, he kept him away from logsted and the final control room after realising how upsetting they were. he exchanged the christmas presents, he jumped in to defend him against the rest of the server and when tommy betrayed techno, he was genuinely hurt! he was wrecklessly impulsive in a way the calculated blade usually wasn’t, almost blowing up half his house (including almost killing his villagers) because of the negative association with dnret.

that’s not to say tommy doesn’t also get absolutely crucified for betraying techno because of all of techno did for him. again it was somewhat inevitable. tommy said it himself, he was turning into someone he didn’t want to be, he was hurting people, and it was somewhat because he was living with technoblade. he was so powerless under dream, and he liked the feeling of power he got from teaming with techno, so much so that it drove him to cruelty, with even techno telling him he went too far with fundy. in the end, it’s probably for the best that he set that boundary and left to go back to l’manberg, but ultimately it was upsetting to both of them. techno felt betrayed because he genuinely thought tommy was his friend, only to be turned on last minute once again, now surrounded alone by enemies he was trying to protect tommy from. to him, allying with dream was just as bad as tommy allying with l’manberg. a betrayal for a betrayal, absolute reciprocity.

we all know the doomsday speech, with techno’s arguments being consistently stronger than tommy’s and much easier to defend, but we can’t just dismiss him. tommy had a lot of emotional input that day, and was angry at techno for a Lot of reasons, so he was more focused on shouting than making sense. he was more accusatory, while techno had fairly focused rebuttals (which, fair, i’m pretty sure that was techno’s first big addressal of most of that with other characters). it ended with tommy calling techno selfish for destroying l’manberg and techno coldly shutting tommy out for the betrayal.

betrayal was the driving force for techno’s “weapon” speech. tommy used him in pogtopia, tried to use him to stop dream exiling him and terrorising NLM) which he laughed at when told in character) and used him for getting the discs back. tommy wasn’t just using him, he genuinely felt like they had built a relationship beyond that, but when techno acted under his own ideals that went against his, then it was over. because tommy doesn’t value techno’s ideals, because they’re ‘selfish’ to him since he’s one of the only ones who believes in them. in turn techno sees that as making tommy selfish and as such they’re unable to compromise.

living with techno was an important part of tommy’s recovery process, which is still ongoing now. he saw immediate changes from his time with dream, claiming he felt “more me-ey” around techno and genuinely valuing his company. but he viewed techno’s alliance with dream as a betrayal, and he viewed the nov 16th incident as a betrayal. because he see’s techno’s belief in anarchy as selfish. something i never hear people point out is that tommy ADMITS he betrayed techno. after doomsday*, he says “all this time, technoblade told me i was betraying him. and you know what? (whispered) i was.” he’s guilty about it, and he understands that techno’s hurt. but he still can’t see him as being in the right, because techno took l’manberg forcefully and violently, and because tommy was hurt by their separation too. techno was powered by revenge more than anarchy during doomsday, which i think is important to point out. tommy had focused in on the threat of dream, and forgotten all the trauma techno went through with l’manberg, and left techno to rejoin l’manberg.

BOTH of them have explicitly stated “i viewed him as a friend but he never viewed me as one” and that’s just... devastating. at one point we can only hope that they have an in-canon conversation to actually settle all of this, but for now their storylines are separate and we’ll just have to live with that.

if anyone has anything they’d like to ask/clarify, or additions from any side i’d love to see it bc character analysis of dsmp characters is what’s keeping me going rn lmao. i said betrayal so many times here i am very sorry for clogging up the tag bc my readmore isn’t working yet (edit SAVED)

*i actually think this speech from tommy is very important, and not looked at as much as other stuff so im gonna link it here [55:52].

#technoblade #tommyinnit #dsmp #mcyt #bedrock bros #dsmp analysis #my readmore isn’t working sad face #can you tell im done with one sided discourse? i just can’t cope with black and white accusations they are all so so flawed #people are entitled to their opinions but sometimes it is just character bashing #the victim complex accusation rots my brain almost as much as people critising how c!techno shows emotions bc folks.... COME ON #if this is coherent i will be AMAZED because i should have focused on either pogtopia era or exile era #i don’t understand mcyttwt because this would be like five threads they have no room to argue anything how do they live #long post #my metas #if this post flops i will be devastated bc then i can’t justify procrastinating 2 essays #sbi #sleepy boys inc

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jutsei · 2 years ago

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Shin Watches Princess Tutu

I got tired of how much I was stalling so I finished watching the entire first disc of Princess Tutu

Episode 5

- Drosselmeyer increasing on butting in with his commentary is funny he just keeps showing up and is sometimes aesthetically pleasing but most of the time it's used in a funny way, I particularly liked the one where he mentions Princess Tutu can't confess her love to a prince or she'll turn into a speck of light adn vanish, and to punctuate this he snaps his fingers and all of the gear windows turn pure white

- Oh and Mytho dancing with Duck was cute but man her thought that it was only to practice for Rue. (Smacks gently) this Duck can carry so much self-doubt and anxiety

- Kinda fucked up that both Rue and Fakir benefit from having a prince with no emotions, with the ending of Rue having a dance with Mytho but running off after seeing him with emotions gives off some fucked up vibes

-Glad this episode made it clear that Duck needs water to return to being a girl - Good voice acting

- Princess Tutu gave therapy to a lamp and decided to keep said lamp. By all accounts this should be stupid but it isn't.

Episode 6

- I like how it's implied that the troupe had things change for them the second they rolled into town

- I like how the actress didn't actually let the heart fragment settle in her

- Good comedy this episode in general

- First time Princess Tutu was actually in danger??? Fear swung a sword at her

- Good pay-off to the moral quandary presented last episode of how maybe restoring one's emotions is eventually gonna cause problems

- Results in the second (if you count the cook's scene) legit sad scene in the anime

Episode 7

- More fallout from the previous episode, love Duck's inner conflict which results in her temporarily just giving it all up

- Drosselmeyer continuing to have really visually interesting scenes

- Mr. Cat got ghosted

- The art for the bottom of the river was really really pretty

- Princess Kraeha made me flushed because it was a really good entrance and also just a great design in general (I also really like how she’s usually introduced by doing 4 360 spins, which is a reference to how Odille in Swan Lake has a lot of spins)

Episode 8

- Big four way collision with an extremely dramatic scene, the music was fucking popping off as Mytho was about to use the sword again, good god

- Fakir speaking German I think while GETTING BLOOD EVERYWHERE???

- Fakir being nice to Duck in duck form makes me think the comment about Duck feeling that Mytho only loves Princess Tutu will lead to something

- Speaking of, more Princess Tutu/Duck disconnect which I like

- OH RIGHT FAKIR SHATTERED THE PRINCE'S HEART??? BRO WHY guess I'll find out (Though he could just be claiming he did)

Episode 9

- Kinda rules that Princess Kraehe is hyped up and even nabs the Heart Shard only for her to beef it the second Mythos is in, it makes me think about how there's a few times where Rue just acts really cool then just fucks up because she can't keep it up forever

- Mr. Cat just arguing with a literal goat inspiring Fakir and Rue made me laugh - Fakir BURSTING THROUGH A WINDOW AND GRABBING A PIECE OF BROKEN GLASS TO USE AS A SWORD???

- Was pleased at how quickly the heart shard for Devotion was gotten

- Drosselmeyer plays both sides, that way he always comes out on top. Love how well they write him as just an author who knows what makes a story move forward

#shin watches princess tutu

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disgruntledspacedad · 4 years ago

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Better Love Notes

If you’re confused about location, timing, or characters in my Narcos AU series Better Love, this is the post for you.

Better Love is an AU reader insert series that begins midway through Narcos season two. Because it is AU, and because Narcos is complicated af anyway, I wanted to take some time to clarify what things in Better Love will be different than what you're used to seeing in the show.

Hannah “Ears” Aarons

First, I think it’s important to clarify that Ears is more of an OC written in second person than she is a generic reader insert. I might refer to her as “you,” but Ears has a name, a face claim, a backstory, and a huge personality. If that bothers you loads, I totally understand and you’re free to duck out at any point, but don’t come at me. If you have specific questions regarding Ears’ background, personality, physical appearance, family history, or whatever else, get with me privately. I would love to introduce you to my chaotic sunshine child.

Official Job Title: Ears is officially an employee of the CIA, but she is not an agent (read: spy). She was brought to Colombia to be a liaison between Centra Spike, the DEA, and the CIA. She introduces herself to Search Bloc by saying, "I'll be your ears," but in reality, she was put in place to be Bill Strechner’s ears. More on that later. She has a background with the US Army that's basically useless (desk job), a ton of training and zero practical experience with flyover recon and radiofrequency tracking, and she's itching to do something real with her life.

Timing

Ears arrives in Bogotá around August of 1992 and falls in bed with Peña pretty much immediately. Horacio Carillo did die recently, but Javi did not start working with Los Pepes and Don Berna until November of 1992. Assume all of the drama with Martinez Jr. and Los Pepes took place around the time that he and Ears were on the outs - that's just another factor that led Javi to make the emotional, rash decision to work with the cartels that he winds up regretting.

There is actually a one year span of time between season two, episode six and the end of the show. Pretty much the entirety of Better Love (for now) takes place during this year, so if it seems like I’m really stretching things out, that’s actually because the show mushed it all together. I promise, guys, I have done my research here.

Locations

The majority of scenes in Better Love will take place in Bogotá, the capital city of Colombia. It’s important to keep Bogotá separate from Medellín, which is where the nit and grit of the hunt for Escobar takes place.

Getting to Medellín from Bogotá requires a one hour flight or an eight hour drive (Colombia is roughly twice the size of Texas, fyi). For a gringo, driving around the cities was dangerous, but driving outside the cities was suicide. Javi and Steve might take planes, or they might take an armored chopper, depends on my mood when I'm writing. Assume there's a landing strip nearby the embassy, because I'm lazy like that.

The U.S. Embass(ies): Centra Spike, Search Bloc, and the DEA office are all housed in the old embassy building that's basically right across from the new one (the super upscale nice one that actually functions as an embassy).

There's a lot of confusion and shuffling around in the show, so I wanted to clarify what goes where (also, the real Murphy and Peña had offices in the old, unused embassy, so this is sort of legit). For simplicity's sake, I am assuming that CNP (Colombian National Police) headquarters are also in or nearby this building. Ears might refer to "headquarters," "the office," or "the embassy," and it's all the same place. Basically, everything is centrally located in Bogotá, and when I refer to “the DEA office,” or “Javi’s office,” picture it from season one - two desks that are not shoved on top of each other, with glass windows and real filing cabinets. The CIA is also located here, as is Strechner's office and the fabled White Room.

These buildings are in Bogotá, nearby Peña’s and Murphy's apartments. I will differentiate between the New, Swanky, Functional U.S. Embassy by capitalizing it and giving it its full title. If I say “embassy,” assume I’m talking about the older one where Javi and Ears are based.

The Carlos Holguin School: This is the base of Search Bloc operations in Medellín, and the primary location that we see in season two of the show. Think of it almost as a military base - training grounds, barracks, bare-bones, no a/c, shitty food. Javi and Steve often stay at "the school" overnight while conducting operations in Medellín. They might also refer to this as “camping” or “the camp,” or “base.” It sucks balls. This is where Javi and Steve have their messy, shoved on top of each other desks that we tend to associate with the show. Javi and Steve still work from here just as often as we see in canon, there just won’t be as many scenes in this location because Ears is never there.

Javi’s apartment: Javi and Steve primarily live in Bogotá. This is the same apartment building that you see in season one, with the big steps in front of the building and then an even larger set of stairs inside. There is also a big set of stairs on the back end of the building that leads to an underground parking garage (we see this in the season one finale, where Steve gets snatched by Navegante). This building is a five minute walk to the U.S. Embassy, but Javi and Steve mostly chose to drive for safety and convenience. It’s in a pretty decent part of Bogotá. There is one small canon deviation in regards to the apartments: in Better Love, Javi lives upstairs, across from Steve’s front door instead of below him like we see in the show. They share a large front landing. I just really liked the idea of Javi having a view of the city from his bedroom window.

Ears’ apartment: Ears lives in a tiny little flat on top of a drug store, a place that she found on her own through the friend of a work friend. It’s also in a decent part of Bogotá, but not quite as safe or upscale as Javi’s. It’s about a ten minute hike from the embassy and fifteen minutes from Javi’s place.

Miscellaneous

CIA/DEA Collaboration: The relationship between the CIA and the DEA in Colombia was not pretty. The show makes it look like a personal conflict between Strechner and Peña, but in reality, it was so much deeper than that. These two organizations have opposing goals, and communication and sharing of information was a real problem. Basically, they squabble more than they collaborate, and there was a lot of backstabbing, underhanded fuckery, and generally getting in each other's way. Naturally, this is going to create tension between Ears and Javi.

Bill Stechner: The show makes it clear that Bill doesn’t give a shit about Escobar or the cartels except in regards to the power dynamics they create, but let me reiterate here - his primary goal in Colombia is to keep it from becoming a communist state. That’s all he wants.

OC Sicarios: Don't get Velasco (canon sicario) mixed up with Verdugo (my OC sicario). They are different characters. Verdugo is the guy who features in The Rules of Engagement.

Feo is another sicario who is an OC. More updates on him later.

Canon Deviations in Better Love

Series spoilers from this point on. I’m going to take it fic by fic, so if you haven’t read something and don’t want to be spoiled, stop at the bold print. Again, Better Love is super fucking plotty, so I thought it was only fair to give you guys a reference sheet. Lord knows I need one, too.

The Rules of Engagement: Introduces Ears. Horacio Carillo did die recently, but Javi’s role in his death is undetermined/not mentioned. Javi does start working with Los Pepes during Rules, but only after he and Ears have their fallout. All of the bullshit with Martinez Jr. and the Castaño brothers takes place during the time that Javi and Ears aren’t speaking.

Aftershocks: Establishes with certainty that Javi is working with the cartels. His primary contact with Los Pepes is Don Berna. This is going to be critical later. Also establishes that Don Berna has more connection to the Cali cartel than he does in canon.

Yours: Establishes that Connie Murphy is a badass biker bitch with a heart of gold, because I think the show did her dirty. She loves Steve and Steve loves her. Ears and Stechner get to know each other a little better, and Javi doesn’t like this one bit. Ears starts thinking about a leak in Search Bloc, and how dangerous that might be for Javi.

Bang: Javier Peña gives Ears a shady ass, probably trafficked gun for her protection. We don’t know details of where he got it. Solidifies the bro/sis relationship between Steve and Ears. Implies heavily that Javi is doing some shady things with some shady folks. A light introduction to the theme of weapons trafficking in Colombia, which was a massive problem that is barely even mentioned in the show. It will feature heavily in Better Love.

The Shoebox: Introduces the character of Arturo, Ana Delgado’s shady older brother. Ears starts wondering if Ana knows more than she should. Confirms that the Fernando Duque arc does take place in Better Love, and that Javi is genuinely torn up by it like he is in canon. This leads Ears to start thinking more deeply about that leak in Search Bloc, and she begins to actively collect evidence with the intention of sniffing out the rat and keeping Javi safe. Mentions sex trafficking, a major problem in Colombia at the time, and also a minor theme later on in Better Love.

Shit Hits the Fan: Establishes that Arturo Delgado is actually a hitman working with Los Pepes, and that he and Javi have gone on some raids together. Javi is desperate to keep this a secret from Ears, who is friends with Ana, both for her protection and because he’s kind of ashamed of how deep he’s in with Los Pepes. Establishes that in the wake of the Ferando Duque debacle, the Castaño brothers did not reach out to Stechner for help, but instead decided to put a hit out on Javi to either kill or scare him off. Javi is no longer working with Los Pepes, but he never did find out that Stechner was the one who set him up in the first place.

The White Room: Bill Stechner reveals to Ears that her purpose in Colombia is to be his own personal spy on the DEA. He is investigating a mysterious sicario named Feo in relation to a massive russian weapons ring. Bill wants Ears to report everything that the DEA learns about Feo because he suspects that Feo might have connections with FARC, a communist guerrilla group that is Stechner’s public enemy number one. Ears realizes that she’s in deep shit, and also realizes the depth of the resentment between the DEA and the CIA, and how much their goals in Colombia actually oppose. Stechner is revealed to be a real bag of dicks here.

Closing notes

Whew, okay. I will update this post periodically if more information becomes necessary or if you guys have questions, and I’ll reblog it if I do. I’m going to go ahead and tag my taglist folks in this, just because it’s a huge information dump. Of course, you probably don't need to know these things to get the gist of what’s going on in Better Love, but if you’re a chronic overanalyzer like me, it might be helpful.

Also, let me know if you guys want a list of the characters who are major players in the series. I know I had to make one for myself but I wasn’t sure if posting it would be overkill (this is probably already overkill, tbh).

Tags: @jedi-mando, @aerolanya, @pikemoreno, @bitchin-beskar, @mostly-megan, @huliabitch, @starsandmando, @starlight-starwrites, @thirstworldproblemss, @knittingqueen13, @yespolkadotkitty

Javier Peña tags: @magpie-to-the-morning, @tiffdawg, @danniburgh, @1800-fight-me

Mad love to you guys if you’ve stuck around for this long.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #Narcos #pedro pascal #Narcos fanfiction #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña fanfiction #Better Love #the rules of engagement #better love notes

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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years ago

Note

Yeah, I mean, books about the kids of heroes and heroines can work, but it is hard to pull off, and I like... personally like Devil in Spring and Devil in Disguise, but I wouldn't say they're the strongest stories. I haven't read the novella about Derek and Sara Craven's daughter, but to me, a novella? Makes more sense. The kid of a famous character is perfect for a holiday story where it's mostly vibes and romance.

But generally, with romance, I think it's often easier to have the parents dead (which you can't do if they're heroes and heroines themselves) or bad (ditto) for character reasons and also to keep them out of the way. This isn't always the case, but when you have kids like the Challons, it's like... Y'all are fine. Gabriel St. Vincent really doesn't have shit to complain about--he's hot, he's got his dad's charm and is going to inherit the title one day, he has great parents and loving siblings. That's why he got a kink as his Thing, which.... Gabriel. I like you, bro, but light bondage is nothing to be ashamed of, especially when your dad is who he is. Devil in Spring is fun (for me) but it's lightweight because it kind of has to be, and that's why the big plot conflict is "Lady who was obsessed with hero tries to kill his woman"--and Dreaming of You did that better, lmao. At least Joyce had a legit AWFUL life to fuck her brain up.

Devil's Daughter is one where she injects some more angst in via the dead husband, but like. Lol. I didn't care at all, and maybe that was me generally being very hit or miss with kids in romance novels--and honestly, that wasn't even my main damage with the novel. West being reformed before the book began took a lot out of it. And maybe that is connected. Would St. Vincent/Kingston and Evie have just been like "fine" while their widowed single mom daughter got fucked around by some slutty messy guy (...)? The Challons seem too supportive to not speak up.

Devil in Disguise should be able to avert this because it's like... Keir wasn't raised knowing Sebastian, but I think she still felt like she couldn't go super hard and make Sebastian look really shitty... Because he's Sebastian St. Vincent. I get it. So we have the bullshit about him being like "I WOULD'VE RAISED YOU SON" and Keir's adoptive parents were actually great, and so on.

One author who I think does sequel series about kids very well is Lorraine Heath. The Scandalous Gentlemen of St. James series is a direct sequel to the Scoundrels of St. James. But you can see the caveats in these kids.

--in When the Duke Was Wicked, The Duke of Lovingdon is our hero, and his mom and stepfather had their own book and married when he was very young. Lovingdon has like... zero angst about being raised by Jack Dodger, from what I can recall. But he did marry young (probably in part because he was raised around all these great love stories and had a romantic streak) and his wife and daughter died, and though his mother and stepfather supported him emotionally, there's really only so much even great parents can do to ease that kind of intense trauma. So it makes sense that Lovingdon is a rake--even his angst aligns with the cause. He doesn't want to be emotionally close to a woman like that again, so he just fucks the pain away.

His heroine, Grace, is also the daughter of a hero and heroine of a previous book, Sterling and Frannie, and it's very clear throughout the novel that they are great parents and she has zero parental angst. But, she has a secret that Heath reveals slowly, and she did experience trauma totally out of her parents' hands, like Lovingdon did. These traumas are not so bad that they ruin the happy endings we saw for their parents, but they're very real and valid.

--In Once More, My Darling Rogue, Drake Darling was basically adopted by Frannie and Sterling, but he isn't their biological son, and even though they've showered him with love, he feels lesser. And the book actually confronts this, and has him have a moment with Sterling at the end that helps Drake realize how he is valued as a son, and Sterling and Frannie are his parents. It's really good.

--In The Duke and The Lady in Red, the hero (Avendale) has an anti-Lovingdon situation where like... His mom also married one of the Scoundrels heroes, but he never was truly comfortable with his stepfather or HER, because of the... circumstances surrounding his abusive father's death. He made assumptions as a child, which make sense, and those are confronted in this book. His parents had an HEA, but they couldn't prevent the way their HEA affected him negatively, and I don't think that cause and effect invalidates their happiness.

But it's like... Lorraine Heath is a different kind of author. And I think she is okay with poking at her heroes and heroines a bit more readily. Frankly, I think she also is aided by the fact that though she should be a lot more well known than she is, she's a bit under the radar, and there isn't as much fanfare to get bogged down in as there is with characters like St. Vincent.

Considering the way readers reacted to Sebastian having an illegitimate child...I can see why she gave in to fan service. (I mean, sex resulting in a kid? Who would've thought!!!)

Also I TOTALLY agree about the Lillian and St.Vincent scene...I hated it when I read it, it felt so out of place and jarring!!

What's funny is that those readers basically got a "be careful what you wish for" moment. They wanted more St. Vincent. More more more. Well, you got a book that was half about him, and you hated it, because you really can't give a happy romance hero much to do without upsetting his HEA... Which obviously, Keir didn't, because Evie, unlike the super upset readers, was a reasonable human being who realized that it was not at all shocking for her husband to have bastard child before he met her. Honestly, it would've been weird for St. Vincent to not have at least one. He probably has six others. I think I've read two other historical romance novels where the hero had an illegitimate child before he met the heroine, and considering how these guys get around pre-reliable birth control...

I think Sebastian had way too much page time in the Ravenels. I love him. I did not need that much of him in Spring, in Daughter, or in Disguise. Spring probably did it best, probably. (Daughter is one of my bottom tier Kleypas books, whoops.) But the moment with Lillian was unnecessary, kind of condescending, and just... weird. They were going to get along without that--they'd been doing it for decades at that point. Their kids were getting together. They were going to be in-laws. It was fine.

#romance novel blogging #here have an essay lol #mostly an excuse for me to wax poetic about lorraine heath's Talent

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raguna-blade · 4 years ago

Text

So i’ve had this floating in my head for a while and well...There’s going to be some obvious straightforward “That’s absolutely not what they intended, I can’t envision it as a thing cause I mean it’s that.”

But I wanna talk about the way the gacha mechanics reflect on the story of Arknights.

So here’s the thing. It’s all about trust. Literally it’s all about trust. One of the things that Arknights makes really clear in it’s story is that there is a very very real problem with people just taking things on faith and listening to each other. The big central conflict, as of now, with the issues between the infected and the non? All of it is based on a massive breach of trust because the infected to a man know that the uninfected are going to make their lives a living hell, even if they’re a model citizen. Hell even if they’re part of the big wig nobility upper class it’s basically a crapshoot if catching the in game plague is going to torpedo you to the depths of the pecking order and ruin your life or “merely” have you waste away from a degenerative disease that causes rocks to grow out of your skin, is horrifically painful, and can cause wild and terrifying super powers that can have you control temperatures wildly, suddenly start reading peoples minds, or create a horde of zombies (although admittedly these require training to use, let alone use in combat but it does seem true that the powers kinda work without it albeit probably much worse)

So trust is a big thing here obviously, and that leads me to the next point.

The Doctor is the sketchiest motherfucker I have ever seen in my life. They’re this mysterious person wrapped up in a coat that exposes exactly none of their body, they down sanity potions like water, they’re a super tactical genius the likes the world hasn’t seen, and also save for your scary Medicine Boss Lady and Their Adopted Kid (who runs your hospital knight order) nobody knows anything about them at all.

And the few people who DO know the doctor from the past seem keen to stay the hell away from him (excluding Boss Bunny, which actually considering what the Doctor was like right before their amnesia should PROBABLY be more concerning?)

And the last point before I start tying this all together, from all indications story wise? Any and all Operators that you choose to use are already there. They’re already working with or are a part of Rhodes Island proper. They’re in the background sure and they may not know the doctor personally but they are already there is the important thing.

Barring certain event characters tied to certain events they’re already part of Rhodes Island in some way.

Which leads me to my little gacha connection.

The Gacha here indicates a willingness to trust the Doctor (and perhaps if we’re gonna dive into this further, a broader connection and willingness to support RI’s cause, and an active display of trust because you know this dude is going to be sending you into a combat zone. In a story where people sometimes just hot die because sorry bro it’s a war story at least in part)

Now i’ll admit the specifics of the gacha don’t work for this perfectly because you’re calling back the same people sometimes which has weird implications (although I think you could chalk it up to doctor getting to better know people and how to pull the very best out of them if we wanna keep the story mechanic connection strong.) There’s only so much you can do with what is mechanically just rolling the dice a bunch...

Except...The Pity Mechanics have neat little implications too! There’s the Guaranteed 5/6 Star mechanic, as well as the guaranteed 6 star after I think it was 100 Rolls, as well as the Guaranteed Limited Character when you roll 300(???) times on their banner.

And Recruitment via the papers works here too.

One sec lemme order the thoughts a bit better

The Headhunting and Recruitment Rolls are, in universe terms, a character actively signing on to work with the Doctor Specifically, as well as signing on fully with Rhodes Islands objectives and ideals. It's not enough to have a business deal with them for treatment of you or your people. It's not enough to have a roof over your head. It's not enough to simply have another place to fight, or access to the person you want to fight.

You are trusting this mysterious no face no history manipulator to put you into combat situations with utter monsters and you're trusting them to either see you through it alive (which is a thing they're eeriely good at) or at least to have your death really tangibly mean something (also something in short supply on Terra). You're trusting this organization that simultaneously wants to heal the world of a horrifying disease, protect those who are infected, and also seemingly really make the world a better place (fat chance)

Not to mention the counseling the Doctor also seems to provide which you know...

That's absurd. It's insane.

And it's reflected in both Rarity Level, as well as the manner of recruitment.

Tag Recruitment pulls mostly from a pool of people already associated with Rhodes Island, with the vast majority being low level recruits. Basically all of 3* and below come from RI, and of 4* up only about half do.

That is to say, using the method that costs you the least amount of money and effort (Originium is, in universe, actually pretty valuable and useful if also you know the source of the plague) most of the people that you can actually recruit already sign on to RI's whole thing for one reason or another and everyone else is there for a variety of other reasons.

The people recruited are also generally unskilled, owing to largely being newbies or generally just not being super tough, but then this also plays into it.

RI is in general, or at least ideally anyway, a Hospital First and Military anything a distant second. Ideally, but it doesn't necessarily play out that way (or at least we as players don't get to see it, and there does seem to be a general work if you want treatment but the portrayal so far scales the work to what you can do. Kids gotta work too but for them it's like...Make some Origami, play and go to school and that's your work which could be sinister sure but seems mostly not)

But even accepting that conditions for infected are awful basically everywhere, leaving your home is a big ask, and fighting for people who may in fact end up fighting against your home is also a big ask. It's not something you're gonna see low level folks do by and by.

But the people recruitment DOES pick up who are those higher level folks? They're generally sent specifically to Rhodes Island if they didn't come specifically because they're some of the foremost scholars on the subject of Originium Infection and so on. A lot of them don't have a choice.

Understandably, no matter how skilled or powerful or conneted they are they're not gonna wanna work with you or put themselves in danger for no real reason

And then you have the cases of people who are or were leaders in their field, arguable or actual royalty, people who hold massive amounts of power who are just...Not going to trust like that. They're wise to the world, and they know what's up.

That they're also massively personally powerful is perhaps a side effect of being so high up in the ranks because when you have people who can and do hop out of planes for a snazzy entrance with no harm and at least 8 kinds of completely uninfected Juggernaut Nightmares not being absolutely shredded when you're the big leader of a place is a liability.

Which ok that tracks, but Headhunting? Headhunting is where you start finding people like Skadi who are just...Absolute freaks of nature being honest. You start seeing people who have even less reason to want to have anything to do with Rhode Islands, more guarded, more independent, less reason to be actively into RI despite being there (like Popukar who's a kid)

And then you have the limited pool characters like W and Nian who have ample reason to not want to deal with the Doctor or are just kinda bumming around and Could Help but don't want to (with secret implications to being basically a Kaiju)

And getting them is difficult and painful and nearly impossible because they don't WANT to interact with the Doctor or perhaps really want to put the effort in to do anything at all.

All of this I think is pretty sound so far. Generally speaking, higher ranked characters have less need or want to deal with the Doctor and the Larger Rhodes Island, in addition to be just being from other locations entirely.

What I think makes this more interesting though, and continues on the gacha story link is the pity mechanics.

So, going with the idea that recruitment is more or less deciding to interact with the weird person who tries to eat originium slugs(!?) it makes the decision of various high ranked operators deciding yeah you know what I'm going to go talk to this weirdo. A LOT of people seem to trust him and that's perhaps concerning, but also well...It's a lot of people. People I know (in all probability. Especially in the case of banner rolls where there's usually one or two people who know the high rank units), and even then there's some wild folks in there deciding to put their faith in them...And Heck I'm already here so why not.

And of course that feeds into the trust mechanics too mind you. The more a unit is used, the more the doctor is demonstrating their small extension of trust is proven a good decision. The Increasing potentials is understandable as the doctor coming to a greater understanding of the individual (indeed they're all tokens of trust in some way shape or form aren't they? Things that Mean something to the Operator, even if they're implied to be things that they hate to think about or be connected but still unfortunately mean something that they can't let go of). And or, for that matter, the Operator becoming more open around the Doctor. Becoming more willing to show their full strength, and honestly, playing on the trust angle, isn't it interesting that so many of the operators talents don't come into play until they've been upgraded once or even twice? But hey if we look at it through the lens of Do I trust this person, some of these talents suggest really impressive things which maybe you don't want this guy who you barely know but you're at least willing to work with to know just in case it doesn't work out. TO say nothing else of the fact that upgrades COST. It's a massive investment of money time and supplies to get an operator up there.

Which, to come back to gacha and the pity mechanics, for the two limited characters to call for (at maximum mind you. Luck as always is a factor but you know) truly EXCESSIVE amounts of rolls, and rolls that call for you burning a massive amount of supplies? It can read as, honestly, an attempt to reach out to this isolated person. Mind it's just an extension on the pity bit from before, but given the limited nature it could also be read as a “I am trying to get to know you please respond?”

And For Nian and W that may well mean something. It's a degree of effort that could read as interesting and or alarming given their respective personalities and histories.

But well..that's about as far as I can pull this I think. As always there's going to be an aspect of well “it's monetization don't think too hard about this it's for that cold hard cash” which is absolutely and unfortunately true. Still, I think it's interesting that it DOES line up as well as it does here. If it's intentional that's really cool actually but still.

#Gacha Mechanics #Story and Gameplay Integration #Arknights #W Arknights

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a-blue-secret · 4 years ago

Text

CHAPTER XI

BACK TO MASTERLIST

Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII

GENRES: royal au; fantasy au; magic au; friends-to-enemies-to-lovers; king!beomgyu, vizier!taehyun

PAIRING: taegyu

WARNINGS: swearing, homophobia

WORD COUNT: 7.6k+

SUMMARY: Best friends turned enemies, Kang Taehyun has managed to trick Choi Beomgyu into his service, and to rule for a year and a day, until his youngest brother would be old enough to take the throne. Choi Beomgyu has no intention of being obedient however, and tries to thwart Taehyun’s orders at every turn. With a growing amount of distrust and lies within the court, will Taehyun manage to keep the kingdom of Gojongja from falling apart?

That night, Yeonjun closed the door to his chambers with a sigh. It was unusually quiet in his room, and the silence made him feel even more unsettled. Not even bothering to take off his boots, he trudged towards the bed and sat down, crossing his legs. He rubbed his forehead, conflicted.

Yeonjun's was loyal. That was one of his best qualities. He was loyal, and unwavering, and always stuck by his allies. It was what he was always admired for, and he prided himself on this trait. This was why Yeonjun was good. He did things without question, without complaint, and he did them well. He always did. Without fail. So why was he struggling this time?

Yeonjun squeezed his eyes tight, scrunching up the sheets into his fists. Everything was just so confusing. He took a deep breath, and tried to unclench his hands from the bedsheets. He'd start from the beginning. The beginning of this whole mess. Maybe then it'd make sense.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

On the night of the Crown Handing, Yeonjun stepped out of the carriage, looking up at the Gojongja palace. It was grand, there was no doubt about it. He gave a small grin. Big castle, lots of people. This would be easy. He made his way up the palace steps, and walked through the large double doors to the ballroom. The grin spread further across his face. This was going to be so easy.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Easy? It looked like there were some complications regarding that matter, but that wasn't going to change anything for him. Though lots of unexpected events had happened during the Crown Handing, which had momentarily thrown Yeonjun off. However, after some discussion with his superior, it was decided that things would still go ahead as planned. And so, here he was, standing in his little corner away from everyone else.

He stared at the rest of the ballroom, bored, tapping his fingers mindlessly against a marble column. It was the second month of revels (month! It had been two months !), and Yeonjun’s patience was wearing thin.He was surprised by how long coronation celebrations were lasting. Was it because there was a new clan on the throne? He didn't know, but it was becoming tiring. He'd been told to make the proposition towards the end of the celebration period, but the celebrations had been going on for days with no sign of stopping. Yeonjun swirled the wine in its glass, looking at the King's Corner which was separated from the rest of the ballroom by a thick lace veil. He sighed, putting down the glass. Whatever . He'd have to do it sooner or later, and he might as well do it now just in case revels ended abruptly. And so, he straightened his uniform, and made his way to the King's Corner.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Kang Taehyun. Yeonjun had been told to be cautious around the Kang, since he was notorious for his quick wit and shrewd observations. Yeonjun thought back to the Crown Handing. It was unusual. The youngest Kang had been named the heir, and yet somehow a whole new clan had managed to ascend to the throne. And Kang Taehyun had played a part in it. A rather large part. But, it wasn't Yeonjun's job to worry about what clan was on the throne. He had a different job.

“Why has your monarch not come to discuss this herself?” Kang Taehyun asked, and Yeonjun saw his hand coming to rest on the sword by his hip. “Why send a representative?”

Yeonjun gazed at him, eyes piercing. The vizier's face remained expressionless, and after a beat, the Aruyeonan toned down his glare. He knew his eyes were unnerving – though amber eyes were becoming increasingly common, they were still rare – but the vizier didn't seem to be unsettled by them at all. Yeonjun blinked lazily, and gave a laugh.

"Will you always let your vizier speak for you?" he asked King Beomgyu. The King gave a not-so-subtle glare to the vizier standing by his side. Yeonjun took a mental note of the hostile look. This could be interesting.

Eventually, Yeonjun managed to convince the King to agree to an alliance. Well, he'd managed to convince the King to consider, and that was as good as done in his book. Part one: complete. Next was the more difficult, more lengthy part two.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Walking out of the Discussion and Tactics room after meeting with Kang Taehyun, Yeonjun felt a sense of satisfaction settle over him. The vizier had agreed to all of Aruyeo's terms. Every single one, and hadn’t seemed dissatisfied with them at all. Queen Erajin sure had a way of manipulating her words to make it seem as if Gojongja would benefit the most. He glanced back, and saw the vizier coming out of the room, and seemed to put something into his pocket. The satisfaction faded from Yeonjun’s face. He’d forgotten about that. He’d forgotten about the thing he’d put in the room. Taehyun wouldn’t know what it was, anyway… right? He shook his head, shrugging. The device was Aruyeonan: no one in Gojongja would know what it was. Yeonjun walked away, humming.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Yeonjun laughed, looking fondly at Beomgyu. It was odd. He'd initially planned to find out information about the court, but he'd ended up befriending the King. Beomgyu was a couple of years younger than him, and was, frankly, adorable. Yeonjun watched as he pouted, trying to focus on the target. His stance looked good, but the moment he released the arrow, Yeonjun could tell it wouldn’t go anywhere near the target. He chuckled and turned to his own target, drawing and releasing his own arrow with barely a glance to where it landed. Beside him, Beomgyu clapped, and he grinned before playfully bowing.

“I did say I was a master at archery,” he said. He smiled as the young king began rambling excitedly. This was going well.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Yeonjun followed Taehyun down the hallways, trying to get the vizier’s attention.

“So… Taehyun? Kang? Grand Vizier? What do I call you?” Yeonjun watched as Taehyun, now in the Palace Library, bent down to search for a book. He internally panicked when he realised which section of the library they were in. Magical Objects. He found out?

“Okay, so Sir Taehyun…” Yeonjun trailed off, his focus becoming undone. Why was he here again? He heard Taehyun click his tongue irritatedly, standing up to look at him.

“Was there anything else you needed?” he asked, annoyance clear in his tone.

Taehyun obviously wasn’t in the mood. And Yeonjun knew that he’d be able to get nothing out of the vizier in the state he was in.

After apologising for disturbing Taehyun, Yeonjun left, telling himself he’d try again later.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Nimbly, he passed through the halls, skipping past windows before he reached a set of doors. Yeonjun pushed them open and yawned, stretching his arms wide. He grinned. He was glad that he’d managed to acquire and memorise a floorplan of the Gojongja palace before he came, because he’d ended up just where he’d wanted to go. It was morning, and very few people were out and about. Striding down the path, he whistled to himself as he walked into the forest.

“Hmm…. this should do it.”

Yeonjun walked through the forest and came upon a clearing. It was sectioned off from the rest of the forest by a ring of trees, and you wouldn’t be able to see it unless you were explicitly looking for it. Perfect. Just to make sure, Yeonjun looked around before he reached into his pocket to pick up the device. He threw it into the air, and the marble spread open to reveal a hologram of a person.

Yeonjun beamed. “Hueningkai! My little bro!”

The hologram, or Hueningkai, laughed. “Yeonjun! My big bro! How do you like this new marble?”

“It’s so epic,” Yeonjun said, smiling. “You’re a bit blurry, but it’s still so cool. You made this? By yourself?”

Hueningkai laughed again. “You sound surprised. All the marbles are things I made by myself. This one’s a prototype. I wasn’t sure it would work properly, but looks like it does.”

“How does alchemy have anything to do with this though?” Yeonjun asked curiously.

“It has everything to do with it. It’s the chemicals and magic which help make this possible. But anyway, we don’t have that much time. How are things going?”

“It’s going well. The people here are nicer than I thought. Especially Beomgyu. He’s so excitable and bubbly and naive, it’s cute. It’s funny how he can’t do standing archery but he’s amazing on horseback, and how he’s so good at fencing but trips over his own feet a lot.”

“Beomgyu?” Hueningkai’s eyes lit up. “You mean the Beomgyu who came to Aruyeo three years ago and was really nice to me?”

Yeonjun smiled. “Yes, that Beomgyu. Didn’t I tell you? He’s the king now.”

Hueningkai clapped his hands happily. “How is he like? Does he remember you? Does he remember me?”

“He doesn’t remember me, because I was away on a mission, remember? But he does remember you.” Yeonjun laughed endearingly as Hueningkai smiled widely. “Yeah, I get why you became friends with Beomgyu. He’s so much like you.”

“He is, isn’t he? But anyway, I didn’t mean Beomgyu. I meant the mission.”

“O- oh. Yeah. It’s… going. Ish. Like I said, he’s naive. Beomgyu opens up really easily. The servants here are loyal, but will relax if they think you’re just making small talk. Oh–the marble you told me to put into the Discussion and Tactics room? I think Taehyun found it.”

“Oh,” he said, frowning. “But he won’t know what it is, right?”

“I hope so,” Yeonjun sighed. “By the way, which one is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What does the marble do?”

“Oh, that one’s also a prototype. It’s an eavesdropper combined with a data collector. It’s one of the only hybrids I’ve made.”

Yeojun frowned. “So then what’s the trinitrotoluene doing in there?”

“For it to self-destruct,” Hueningkai explained. “If anyone tries to pierce the glass, it’ll explode.”

“Ah. So that no one will be able to access the data apart from you?” Hueningkai nodded. “Smart. But… will it be okay, now that it’s not in the Discussion and Tactics room?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Hueningkai dismissed. “All we needed were records that Gojongja agreed to our terms. It’ll be fine for now, until we have to retrieve it. Do you know where it is?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Yeonjun sighed. “The last I saw, Taehyun had it, but I’m not sure where it is now.”

“That’s fine. We’ll get to it when we get to it.” Through the hologram, Yeonjun saw Hueningkai sit down on a chair. “So do you know specifically what you’re looking for?”

“Um, not really. It’s just the general things I’m usually told to look for. When I’ve gotten enough, I’ll report back, then they’ll tell me if I need to find more. That’s how it always is.” Yeonjun folded his arms, leaning on his other leg. “How are things with you? Doing anything interesting?”

Hueningkai’s eyes lit up. “In fact, I am! You know how seers often have crystal gazing balls?”

“No way,” Yeonjun gasped, bringing a hand to his mouth. “Don’t tell me you found a way to make them!”

Hueningkai laughed happily. “God, no! But close! It’s like a looking-glass thing. It can help you see what’s happening somewhere else at that exact moment. So it can’t see the future, but it can see present events.”

“How does that work?”

“I need some part of that person’s DNA to do it,” Hueningkai explained. “Like a hair or a drop of saliva. Then, I can use it to see what they are doing.” He frowned. “At least, theoretically I can. Right now, all it shows me are their feet.”

Yeonjun snorted, and Hueningkai gave an embarrassed smile. Yeonjun was going to say something else, but then twig snapped. Yeonjun turned around, startled. “Sorry Hyuka, but I think someone’s here. Gotta go, talk to you later!” Yeonjun quickly waved a hand through the hologram, making it flicker and disappear. He looked around, trying to find the culprit of the noise. Then, a horse stepped through the trees, and bent down to graze under a birch. Its pale red scales reflected the sun, and Yeonjun startled slightly at its odd appearance, but quickly relaxed.

“Hey there,” he said softly, approaching it. “You’re a right beauty, aren’t you?” The horse looked up, and watched calmly as Yeonjun approached. “Should I take you back? Perhaps.” He stroked the horse’s muzzle, making sure it was calm, before swinging his leg over its back. “Maybe I’ll show Beomgyu this place too. He might like it.”

As he was riding back, it didn’t even cross his mind that he’d wanted to show Beomgyu the clearing purely because he wanted to see the king smile.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Yeonjun watched as Taehyun swiftly began to eat, completely ignoring his presence. He pursed his lips in irritation. The vizier was a tough nut to crack. What might break his shell? Yeonjun thought back to that afternoon, when Taehyun had sarcastically mentioned Beomgyu going on a date. Ah. Beomgyu.

“Sir?”

Taehyun looked up at him, annoyed, swallowing a mouthful of food.

“Forgive me for seeming rude, but… why is it that you don’t seem to like anyone at all?”

Yeonjun watched his face carefully, and saw Taehyun’s facial features become just a little more guarded.

“Well,” he began slowly. “You never know who you can trust.” Taehyun looked up at Yeonjun. “Some people just aren’t… trustworthy.”

He’s not onto me, is he? Yeonjun smiled mildly. “I understand that. But with people you know, why is it that you still don’t like them?”

Taehyun’s face became a little more weary, and he set down his cutlery. “You’re talking about Beomgyu, aren’t you? In his case, I suppose… just because you know someone well doesn’t mean you like them.”

“But judging by how Beomgyu talked, you did like him for a time?” Yeonjun startled a little as the cutlery clattered out of Taehyun’s hands, onto the ceramic plate.

“Don’t speak of such things like that,” Taehyun said in a quiet, fierce voice. Yeonjun’s eyebrow raised ever so slightly. He’d forgotten how homophobic Gojongja were. “And just because we used to be friends doesn’t mean we’re friends now. Things change.”

Yeonjun, after composing himself, nodded thoughtfully. He now knew a little about how Taehyun worked. He was a true Gojongja citizen. A smart one at that. He won’t like to have his mistakes pointed out to him, will he…?

“You do know that the whole business of Beomgyu being King is odd, don’t you? Especially since I can gather that you two are enemies. Additionally, on the day of the Crown Handing it almost looked like you’d planned to make Beomgyu king.”

Yeonjun watched Taehyun carefully, and was rewarded when the vizier looked up at him sharply. He smiled inwardly, and calmly turned to his food. “I’m just saying what it looked like.” Yeonjun took a big bite out of his meal, ignoring Taehyun’s piercing stare. The vizier was obviously shaken by the comment. As he chewed, Yeonjun thought about his own words. Perhaps the observation he’d made had some truth in it. Had Taehyun planned to let Beomgyu take the throne? Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Taehyun sipped his drink worriedly. Kang Taehyun… you’re an interesting one. Are you hiding anything else?

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Yeonjun looked around, scratching his head. “I swear I’ve been here before,” he muttered. “Did I take a wrong turn?” He spun on his heel, staring at the tapestry behind him. “How could I have ended up here?”

“Excuse me? Sir?”

Yeonjun turned around to see a small servant girl looking up at him.

“If you don’t mind, are you lost?”

Yeonjun blinked, and gave a small chuckle. “Yes, it appears I am.” He looked around at the many corridors. “I am very lost.”

The girl beamed. “Oh, that’s okay! This is a very big palace, so it’s understandable. When I first came, I became lost many times too. Where is it that you want to go?”

“His Greatness’ room, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course! I’ll take you there.”

Yeonjun followed the girl down the hallways silently. They eventually stopped by a door.

“Here we are! I will be on my way now.” The girl bowed, and was about to walk away when Yeonjun called out to her.

“Wait… how old are you?”

“I am eleven, sir.”

“Eleven?! You’re a foreigner, aren’t you? How did you end up working in Gojongja?”

“I fled here with my younger sister. We come from a country which is currently in the middle of a war, and came here because we heard that Gojongja would welcome us.”

“Gojongja? Not Aruyeo?”

“Yes, sir. Gojongja is the place most welcoming of foreigners. To me, it is the kindest of all the Four Kingdoms. Though Aruyeo accept many sexualities, Gojongja accept people from anywhere. They are generous, and kind, and though they may not win every battle like Aruyeo do, they are still strong. I have even come to consider Gojongja my home.” The girl smiled. “The people here are among the nicest I have ever met.”

Yeonjun stood there, before nodding his head slowly. “Well, Gojongja truly is a nice place.”

“It is. I love it with all of my heart.”

Yeonjun bowed his head. “You may leave now.”

“Of course. Have a nice day, sir!” The girl gave another grin, and skipped down the hallway. Yeonjun watched her go. Suddenly, for the first time ever, a small doubt crept its way into his mind. Your Supreme Highness… how can I do such a thing to people like this?

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Yeonjun knocked on the door, and stepped inside. He was taken aback when he registered this was not His Greatness’ room. Yeonjun checked the plaque on the door, and groaned inwardly. The Great Room? Seriously? He looked around and took in the bookshelf taking up one wall, the grand piano in the middle of the room, and the students standing in rows. A music room. Who the hell names their music room ‘The Great Room’?

“Oh! Lord Yeonjun from Aruyeo, am I correct?” the woman smiled pleasantly. “Would you like to stay and watch our music lesson?”

Yeonjun stammered. “I… uh…” He shrugged. “Alright.”

“Wonderful!” The lady clapped her hands happily, and gestured to a seat. “Here, you can have a seat here. Now class, let’s sing again from the top!”

She went over to the grand piano standing in the middle of the room, and began playing. The children sang along to the piano, and the sweet melody washed over Yeonjun. He took in the harmonies, the chorus of voices, the gentle chords of the piano.

Suddenly, a wave of sadness engulfed him. The woman’s piano playing reminded him of Hueningkai. All he could think about was how much Hueningkai loved to play the piano, nimble fingers dancing happily over the keys, coaxing beautiful melodies from even the crankiest pianos. Hueningkai, who was so innocent and painfully optimistic. Hueningkai, who was kind and generous even when the world was not kind and generous to him. Hueningkai, who had only ever wanted to be happy.

Yeonjun blinked, fast, and acknowledged that the song was coming to an end. He clapped politely, a small smile on his face. All these children… so youthful and naive. They reminded him so much of Hueningkai it hurt.

He looked away, out the window. Hueningkai… do you think we’re doing the right thing?

.・゜-: ✧ :-

“Oh, let me help you with that!”

Yeonjun looked up as a young stable boy came rushing up to him, taking some of the horse brushes out of the Aruyeonan’s hands. He looked up, and smiled brightly at Yeonjun.

“It looked like you were having some trouble there, sir! Have you just come back from riding?”

Yeonjun was slightly startled by how kind and friendly the stable boy was being. “I… yes, I have. I was just cleaning up the horse.”

“That’s good, sir,” the stable boy said conversationally, walking with Yeonjun back to the stables. “Most Lords ‘round here, they don’t care ‘bout the horses’ wellbeing. They think it’s up to stable boys like me to keep ‘em clean. Nice to see someone is looking after their horse after they’ve finished riding.”

They arrived at the stable, and the boy helped Yeonjun put the equipment away into the box. He straightened, and gestured to the full bucket of dirty water in Yeonjun’s arms. “Would you like me to take that for you?”

“I- uh, if you want.”

The young boy beamed and took the bucket. “I’ll show you where it ought to be put, if you’d like.”

Yeonjun followed the stable boy silently, rather overwhelmed by his brightness. It was strange. This boy was working such a taxing, gruelling task, looking after horses which were apparently not treated very well by the Lords, and yet he managed to smile and walk with a spring in his step.

“You’re the Aruyeonan, aren’t you?” the boy said brightly, looking up at Yeonjun.

“Y- yes, yes I am.”

“We heard you’re here to form an alliance.” He smiled widely, revealing gappy teeth. “That would be nice. Gojongja have been independent for so long… I wonder what it’s like to have an alliance, to have someone else to support you when you struggle to support yourself, and to be there to support someone when they are stuck. It’s like a friendship, isn’t it? You help each other out.”

Yeonjun decided not to comment on that. The boy’s view on an alliance was a rather childish, innocent one, but Yeonjun didn’t want to tarnish it with cynical truths. “I suppose it is,” he said finally. “You said you’d like an alliance?”

“Yeah! Like I said, Gojongja have been pretty solitary. And I mean, solitude is nice, ‘cause then no one can backstab us or anything, but in an alliance, they’re bound to be trustworthy, right? It’s all about trusting each other. Like a friendship!”

Yeonjun smiled weakly. “Yeah… right…”

Suddenly, the boy’s eyes widened and he clapped his hands over his mouth. “Oh gosh, I just realised I’ve been rambling again! The stable-master always told me off for rambling. I’m so sorry.” He bowed several times. Yeonjun blinked, feeling a little shocked.

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.” Still the boy’s head remained bowed, so Yeonjun crouched down to look him in the eye. “Don’t apologise for sharing your thoughts,” he said firmly. “Never apologise for speaking out. You are entitled to your own opinion, and you have that right.” He quirked a small grin. “But maybe don’t discuss politics with every Lord you meet. Most of them won’t like it.” The stable boy’s eyes were still wide, but he gave Yeonjun a smile.

“Alright, thank you Mr Aruyeonan!” There was a yell in the distance, and he jumped. “That’s the stable master! I'd better get going! See you, Mr Aruyeonan!”

Yeonjun watched the young boy race back to the stables, and the smile died from his lips. He thought back to what he’d said. “An alliance is like a friendship…?” He shook his head. “No, no it’s not. It’s not. It’s more political and professional than that.” He began to walk back to the palace. Though he tried to dismiss the child’s words, they rang in his head, and an uncomfortable coil settled in the pit of his stomach. “No, he’s young. Don’t think about it, Yeonjun…”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

As these days increased, and Yeonjun grew to know the Gojongja court better and better, the feeling of uneasiness grew. Generally with his missions, he’d always have a specific task in mind, but this time, the topic he'd been given was so broad. Initially, he’d been nervous with having such an ambiguous subject, but now he was nervous because something didn’t feel right. One night, he decided enough was enough. He needed to properly think.

The next morning, he awoke early, letter in hand, when he crossed paths with Beomgyu.

“Your Greatness!” Yeonjun bowed. “You’re up early?”

“Good morning, Yeonjun! And yes, I am! We are to have a revel today, to tell the people about the alliance.” The King took in Yeonjun’s appearance, and tilted his head. “What are you doing up so early? You look like you’re dressed to go somewhere.”

“I want to deliver a letter,” Yeonjun said, showing the envelope for emphasis. “I’m going to deliver it myself, though. This person is someone… who prefers if I come in person.”

“Alright. How will you get there?” Beomgyu took in Yeonjun’s leather gloves, and tall black boots. “You’re riding? All the way to Aruyeo?”

“I hope you don’t mind,” Yeonjun said sheepishly.

“Of course not!” Beomgyu grinned. “I’d offer to let one of our messengers take it for you, but you look adamant about delivering it yourself. Take Orion. He’s most capable of going long-distance.”

Yeonjun bowed. “Thank you, Your Greatness. Good luck with your revel!”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Riding through the streets of Aruyeo, the people immediately parted to let Yeonjun through. They didn’t question the strange horse and just let him pass. Everyone knew Yeonjun and who he worked for. He thundered through the city, straight towards the castle.

Once Orion had been taken to the Aruyeonan stables - “Handle him carefully, he’s a rare breed, and from Gojongja” - Yeonjun made his way through the hallways, until he was standing in front of a familiar door. He’d barely knocked before it was flung open, the face which greeted him beaming brightly.

“Yeonjun!”

Hueningkai threw his arms around Yeonjun, and the elder laughed, ruffling Hueningkai’s hair. “Kai! How have you been?”

Hueningkai extracted himself, and pulled Yeonjun inside, closing the door firmly behind him. “Oh, you know,” he said, shrugging. “Same old, same old. Make explosives. Make marbles. Find a new chemical combination. Repeat. I haven’t been out of this room since you left, so don’t worry.”

Yeonjun smiled fondly, ruffling Hueningkai’s hair again. “You’re okay, right? No one said anything?”

“No one’s dared to say anything to me in over twelve years,” Hueningkai said, smiling. “It shocked them all when we suddenly rose in the ranks of the Queen’s favour.”

Yeonjun looked sadly at Hueningkai. “I’m sorry we had to go to such extreme measures. It was the only way, you know that right?”

“I’m fine, Yeonjun. It’s okay. But tell me, why are you here? When we talked last night, you were very vague. What’s going on?”

Yeonjun’s face grew grave. “The people in Gojongja are… too nice. But not in like, a suspicious way. They’re just genuinely nice. Everything they do is just so good. I don’t know… I just feel like something isn’t right.”

“What, in Gojongja?”

“No, no. Here. In Aruyeo. In court.”

Hueningkai tilted his head. “I’m not following.”

“It’s just…” Yeonjun bit his lip. “It’s hard to explain. Here in Aruyeo, the atmosphere is… more suffocating, I guess? For me. There are so many secrets within this court, so many lies and half-truths. Hell, we’re one of the secrets. It just feels so stifling. I could feel it as soon as I set foot inside the castle. In Gojongja, though… it just feels a lot lighter. There’s so much trust within their court. I- I can’t explain properly, but when you’re there, it’s so obvious. I wish you could come.”

“Then I will.”

“What?”

“I’ll come. You’re a good people-reader, Yeonjun, but I want to see this for myself. We don’t want to jump to conclusions.” Hueningkai had gotten up, and was rummaging through his drawers for something. He pulled out a large glass ball, smiling proudly. It looked like a huge bubble, and was about the size of a beach ball. “In here are the bare minimum of provisions I packed for myself, if ever the time came when I’d need to leave quickly. I’ve got sand, rock samples, and all sorts of other things which I need to make my marbles.”

Yeonjun gaped in shock. The ball looked completely empty, but he had no doubt about what Hueningkai had said. “Wh… what? How? What chemical combination did you use this time?”

“It’s one my clan taught me,” Hueningkai said. “I was just bored one day and messing around with the chemicals, but then my hands seemed to know what to do almost immediately.”

Yeonjun whistled, impressed. “Benefits of having alchemy as an ability, right? That’s freaky, but so cool.”

Hueningkai flinched at the word ‘freaky’, and Yeonjun’s face quickly morphed into an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry, Hyuka, I forgot.”

“It’s fine,” Hueningkai muttered. He gave a small smile, and tapped the ball. “I need to make a few adjustments though. Do you wanna rest? I have no doubt you rode all the way from Gojongja to here.”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” Yeonjun admitted. “...Alright. Just a few hours. We need to go soon if we want to get there by sundown. Wake me up when it's time, okay?”

Yeonjun stumbled over to the bed, and as soon as his head touched the pillow, he was fast asleep. Hueningkai watched over his sleeping form, and gently ruffled the elder’s hair.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Yeonjun. If it wasn’t for me, we could lead normal lives. We wouldn’t have to be spies.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

The first time Yeonjun had been due to leave for Gojongja, he and Hueningkai had spent many hours poring over the blueprints they’d managed to acquire of Gojongja’s Palace. Their skilful memorisation came in handy at that moment. Hueningkai, under the cover of darkness, managed to slip through the hallways to the room which Yeonjun was staying in, barely bumping into anything on his way. Yeonjun took the longer way round, and as he walked past the ballroom, he gasped. There was so much glass all over the floor, and some small fires were burning through ivy tendrils. He hurried past, conscious of the muddy footprints he was leaving behind. What had happened?

As he rounded a corner, he saw Taehyun standing in the middle of the corridor.

“Sir Taehyun!”

Taehyun turned around, not bothering to hide the frustration on his face.

“I saw all the glass in the ballroom,” Yeonjun said, coming up to the vizier. “And there’s a lot of blood, and some fire. What happened?”

As soon as those words left Yeonjun’s mouth, he knew it wasn’t the right thing to say. Taehyun’s face darkened even further. His mouth twisted into a frown, and he spoke in a sarcastic, annoyed tone.

“Well the announcement went fine. What do you think happened?”

Yeonjun almost backed away from the vizier’s menacing glare.

“Just go to your chambers. Don’t interfere.”

Yeonjun hesitated. He would have been fooled by the vizier’s vicious tone, but there was something decidedly off about it. Behind Taehyun’s fierce mask, he could see how scared and shocked he was. He wanted to reach out and ask him what was wrong, ask him if he was okay. But, deciding that Taehyun was far too emotional to appreciate his help, he bowed, and walked away.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Hueningkai hummed, tapping the wall. “Doesn’t seem to be much of a bright atmosphere here in Gojongja.”

“You came at the wrong time,” Yeonjun sighed. “The people found out about the alliance in the worst way possible, apparently. So things aren’t going too great right now.” He looked over at Hueningkai. “Are you okay? I just realised it’s probably really boring for you to be here all alone.”

“You worry too much,” Hueningkai dismissed. “I’m fine. We’ll be staying here for a while, right?”

“Yeah. Until things calm down, and the alliance fully takes place, we’ll be in Aruyeo.”

“Okay.” Hueningkai chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. "Okay. And I'll have to stay in this room, right?"

"Yeah. They don't know you're here, so it's best for you to not leave." Yeonjun sat down in the chair next to Hueningkai. He rubbed his forehead, trying to dispel the headache which was on its way. Hueningkai silently wrapped his arms around the elder, pulling him into a hug.

.・゜-: ✧ :-

The following days, Yeonjun stayed in his room as much as he could. Once, when he had gone out for some fresh air, he’d returned to find his room empty. He’d panicked. A few hours later, though, Hueningkai showed up.

“Hueningkai! Where were you?”

Hueningkai looked at Yeonjun apologetically, seeing the angry and worried look on the elder’s face. “Sorry. I should have told you earlier. I’m building a room.”

“A what?”

“Down there.” Hueningkai pointed to the wall beside the bed. “I’m building a secret room where I can do my experiments without bothering you.”

Yeonjun breathed a sigh of relief. “So long as no one catches you. But please tell me before you do something like that! I literally had a heart attack when I saw you were missing.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a spy, just like you are. I know how to handle myself.”

“That won’t stop me from worrying about you.” Yeonjun ruffled the younger’s hair. “Hueningkai, I know you haven’t been out much, but… you can feel the difference, right?”

The younger hesitated, but nodded his head. “Yeah. I kinda see what you meant. Even though everyone is really stressed and busy here in Gojongja, it doesn’t feel suffocating. It made me realise how stifling the court is back at home.”

“Right?” Yeonjun agreed. “And also, the people here are so nice.”

Hueningkai gazed out into the distance. “I want to be able to see Beomgyu… it’s been ages.”

Yeonjun patted the younger’s shoulder consolingly. “He’ll probably freak if he finds you in the palace, unfortunately, since you’re not meant to be here. Plus, the vizier is super scary and will most likely kick us out before you can even say ‘hi’.”

Hueningkai smiled. “Sir Taehyun is that intimidating, huh?”

Yeonjun fake-shivered. “You have no idea. But still, I’m determined to befriend him.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

It was late at night. Yeonjun, having trouble sleeping, decided to walk around the palace until he grew tired. His mind was still plagued with the usual troubles, worried about whether he was doing the right thing. He was passing the palace gymnasiums when he heard the familiar swish of a sword being swung in the air. Under one of the gymnasium doors, light streamed out and Yeonjun could make out a long shadow, practising by themselves. He opened the door a sliver to see Taehyun, sparring with the air. His face was slick with sweat, and his breaths came out in laboured pants, yet he still continued to spar. From where he was, Yeonjun could see how his face was scrunched up in concentration, and he winced as he noticed how white his knuckles were around the hilt of the sword.

He didn’t know how, but suddenly he’d grabbed one of the practice swords from the racks and was standing in front of Taehyun, silently sparring with him. Yeonjun registered the look of surprise on the vizier’s face but ignored it, wordlessly pushing him to work harder.

Neither of them said a word. There were no words needed. Yeonjun noticed with some approval that Taehyun’s grip had corrected itself, and his stance looked firmer than before. However, it was no match for Yeonjun’s spy-trained skills, and eventually, with Taehyun being too tired out to notice, Yeonjun managed to bring the blunt edge of his sword up to the vizier’s neck. Both of them were panting heavily. Then, Taehyun spoke.

“I yield.”

Yeonjun stared at him, before registering his words and dropping his blade. He gave a small grin. “You did good.”

Taehyun abruptly turned away from him, walking over to the water table. “Why are you here?”

Yeonjun followed him, giving an explanation as to why he was there. It was made of half-truths, since he didn’t want to give anything away about what he was actually doing. He took a big gulp of water and set down the glass, shaking his head in fake disappointment. “You were so stressed that you were tensing up your wrists far too much.” Yeonjun saw as Taehyun’s eyebrow twitched irritatedly. Even in his worn-out state, the vizier still hated his mistakes pointed out to him.

“And was it because I was stressed?”

“Yeah.” Yeonjun poured himself another glass of water. “When you actually spar, your technique is crazy good.” Taehyun didn’t say anything for a few moments, and his face gave nothing away. Yeonjun worried he’d overstepped some line, and set down his glass. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have interrupted you. You haven’t wanted to see me in the hallways, so I don’t know why I thought it’d be alright to see you while you were sparring. If you want, I can go now.”

Yeonjun was turning away when Taehyun suddenly spoke.

“Your technique is really good. The Falcon Twist - I haven’t seen someone perform it that well before.”

Yeonjun felt a swell of pride, and looked back with a grin. Taehyun continued talking, looking a little nervous.

“Also, the way you attack is so fast. And when you defend, as well.”

Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile wider, a strange warmth blooming in his chest. He walked back to the vizier, and held out his hand. A peace offering. “Want me to teach you?”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

They kept up the routine for several more days. At night, Yeonjun would always come down to find Taehyun already deep in the middle of practice, and the two would just spar wordlessly until they took their first break. From then on, they'd discuss tactics, techniques, and how to improve their strategies. With time, their discussions gradually moved towards more personal things, and Taehyun began to open up more. He told Yeonjun of his worries about being the Grand Vizier, and the stress and toll it was taking on him.

When Yeonjun returned to his room one night after sparring with Taehyun, flopping onto the bed, Hueningkai made an observation.

"I think you're genuinely trying to befriend this Kang Taehyun."

Yeonjun turned his head, facing the younger. "About that. I think I'm going to stop with this mission."

Hueningkai, who had been focused on building a house of cards, suddenly stood up, knocking the fragile structure over. "Are you crazy?! If she finds out, she's gonna kill you!"

"I know. But I'm trusting my gut here. Before, I felt no remorse doing these things to other Kingdoms, but here… even just thinking of betraying these people makes me feel sick. I just can't do it." He thought to the foreign servant girl who spoke of Gojongja with such love in her eyes. He thought to the young children, singing and learning music without a care in the world. He thought to the young stable boy, bright-eyed and talkative, who had seemed to see nothing but the good things in life. Lastly, he thought of Taehyun and Beomgyu, who spoke of their Kingdom with such love and passion, who were such truly good people that they made him doubt everything in the first place. Closing his eyes, he brought his hands to his face. “I just can’t.”

Hueningkai looked scandalised. "I don't believe it! How good must a person be to make you want to stop? You've been a fervent ally of Queen Erajin for more than a decade. Who could break this loyalty?"

Yeonjun sat up. "Wait– I’ll show you. Tomorrow night, come down with me. I can’t show you everything, but I can show you the one who made the most difference. You can hide in the shadows. Then you’ll see just how good they are. Then you'll see what kind of person Taehyun is."

.・゜-: ✧ :-

That following night, Yeonjun pushed open the doors to find Taehyun in a rather different position.

“Sup,” he said, and Taehyun opened his eyes, unfolding himself from the yoga position he’d been in.

“Hello. I decided to do a bit of stretching today.”

Yeonjun kicked off his boots, and saw Hueningkai standing in a hidden alcove. The younger crouched down and gave Yeonjun a thumbs up. He looked back to Taehyun. “Do you have a routine in mind?”

And just like that, the two settled into their silent routine. They both did their own stretches in their own time, relishing the silence between them. It was all quiet, until Taehyun spoke.

“Everything is so fucking stressful right now.”

Yeonjun, head upside down, quirked an eyebrow. We’re going straight to the confiding, are we? Yeonjun listened as Taehyun ranted out his worries, detailing everything and how it was affecting people. He didn’t talk, didn’t interrupt; he just listened silently, letting Taehyun speak for as long as he needed to.

Taehyun sighed, and sat back. “I really care about these people. Beomgyu said we shouldn’t employ the military, but I think we should. The people won’t fight against them, I know it; it’s just to scare them and deter them from rebelling. But every time I try to explain that to Beomgyu, he won’t listen.”

“Then do it.”

“Huh?”

Yeonjun was feeling Taehyun’s confusion at that moment too. He didn’t know why he spoke. But now that he had, he couldn’t stop. He tilted his head. “Do you think it’s a dumb decision? The one that Beomgyu made.”

Taehyun’s face twisted in confusion, unsure where this was headed. “Uh… not really? I can see why he might not want to use force. But he didn’t see that it’s just to scare them.”

Yeonjun sighed. Taehyun always took things too seriously! “Answer the question in a proper way. I’m tryna help you here.”

“Okay…?” Taehyun said, confused. “In that case… yeah. It’s a dumb decision.”

Yeonjun grinned. “Okay, so you can just say that Beomgyu made a decision, but because it’s a stupid-ass decision, you’ve decided to ignore it.”

Taehyun blinked. Yeonjun could see the gears turning inside his brain. A smile spread across the vizier’s face. “I like your thinking.” He scrambled up onto his feet, tugging on his boots. “I gotta go inform the Head General! Bye!”

Yeonjun smiled as the vizier rushed out of the gymnasium, then he remembered Hueningkai. He looked back.

“So? Do you get what I mean?”

Hueningkai came out of the shadows to slowly sit down beside Yeonjun. “I do,” he said. “Yeonjun… I think you’re right. Let’s change sides.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

Now that Hueningkai had agreed with him, Yeonjun felt more sure than ever. He spent his time actually befriending Taehyun, instead of ‘befriending’ him to earn his trust. Though there were still secrets, Yeonjun was determined to eventually clear them away.

“Hey Taehyun?”

“Hm?”

"Do you… do you remember, about four days before the revel? I requested you come visit for some bonding time?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry about that. I wasn't in a good mood."

"It's fine. I just…" Yeonjun hesitated. Should I tell him now? Or should I wait? "Let me know when you properly trust me, okay?"

Taehyun blinked, but smiled. "Alright. I will.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

“Yeonjun!”

Yeonjun turned around, and his face melted into a grin as he saw Taehyun approach.

“How are you?”

“I’m doing good. Have you talked with the Head General yet?”

“That’s actually where I’m headed,” Taehyun replied. “They don’t have a lot of time, but I’m going to meet with a representative who’ll figure out when we can sit down and talk.”

“Nice!” Yeonjun grinned. “How will Beomgyu react?”

“He’ll probably flip if he finds out,” Taehyun admitted. “But he just really cares about the people. Hopefully he can see that this won’t harm them.”

“Fingers crossed, then!”

“Yup. Fingers crossed.” Taehyun paused, as if he’d remembered something. “Oh yeah. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but…” Taehyun reached out a hand and patted Yeonjun’s shoulder. “I trust you. Properly.” He gave a small grin to the Aruyeonan, and walked away. Yeonjun blinked as the vizier turned the corner, and a smile spread across his face but quickly died. He’d just spotted someone in the distance. He squinted, but the person was already gone. Was that…? He shook his head. It couldn’t have been. He was just seeing things. Yeonjun looked back the way Taehyun had come, and his stomach filled with nerves.

“He trusts me now,” Yeonjun murmured to himself. “It’s now or never.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-

That brought them back to that day. Yeonjun sighed, looking up at the ceiling. The soft pads of feet alerted him to Hueningkai’s presence.

“Sir Yoongi is in Gojongja now.”

Hueningkai paused. Even in the darkness, Yeonjun could see his eyes widen. Yeonjun spoke again.

“He’s their Antiquarian.”

“You mean… my Sir Yoongi? The mentor Sir Yoongi, who taught spies alchemy?” Hueningkai asked. “The one who disappeared years ago?”

“The very same one.” Yeonjun pulled a pillow over his face and sighed into it. “He knew, Hueningkai. He knew something was wrong with Gojongja, even before we did.”

Hueningkai was silent. “He’s lived in Aruyeo for a very long time. He probably noticed the changes.”

“That’s what he said. He said he could feel the changes in the atmosphere.” Yeonjun peeked under the pillow. “Also, he’s figured out it was you who made that marble. The one I planted in the Discussion and Tactics room.”

“Oh, that marble… he won’t be able to figure it out what it does though. To examine it, he’ll need to break the glass, which he knows will make the marble explode. He won’t try it. Don't worry about that.” They were silent for several moments. Hueningkai looked over at Yeonjun. “Yeonjun… maybe we should tell Taehyun. He said he trusts you, and even if his trust isn’t enough, we should tell him before someone else does.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Yeonjun took the pillow away from his face, and Hueningkai promptly snatched it and hugged it to his chest. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. Definitely.” Yeonjun sighed, nestling into the blankets. “I just hope he doesn’t hate us by the end of it…”

#court of lies #taehyun #txt taehyun #txt beomgyu #beomgyu #txt #txt taegyu #txt fanfic #txt fluff #txt post #txt imagines #txt imagine #tomorrow x together #tomorrow by together

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 4 years ago

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Kdrama recs Part 2

Hello @camsthisky and anyone else who cares! I do apologize for the delay on this post--it has only been 84 years since Part I of my kdrama recs, I know, and I thought about going for a full century but this is me finding a way to de-stress after watching the first episode of I-Land alkdjfadlksj I’m gonna die of heartbreak but whatever

Speaking of heartbreak, there is a lot to be found in Korea’s wonderful historical dramas, so like, be warned—or, if you are an angst-loving monster like me, settle down for hot guys and good cries

Let us begin! (or, if you want romantic modern dramas see Part 1)

1. Scarlet Heart Ryeo/Moonlovers:

aha ahahahahahaha *weeps* You may have heard people talk about this show. You may have heard ME talk about this show. This thing was my first kdrama ever and it RUINED ME

Disclaimer: I have seen this show once and rewatched it twice and on the rewatches I can never quite make myself watch the last 4 or 5 episodes because things get tragic and messy and I get mad. HOWEVER there is a lot of good in the first part of the show and because this thing was all the rage in everywhere but Korea itself, there’s like over 300 fanfic for it and several good fix-its, including one by my good friend @thelonelybrilliance

Ok so anyway this show which could also be called An Abundance of Princes starts with a young woman from modern times getting thrown back into ancient Goryeo during an eclipse and finds herself in the body of Hae Soo, the cousin of the wife of one of the princes, and thus she gets embroiled in royal affairs which are, quite frankly, a mess. See, the evil eyeliner prince (whom I love even when he’s the worst) is plotting with his mom to get the Crown Prince out of the way aka dead BUT who should return to the Palace but the 4th Prince, Wang So, who has spent at least half his life living as hostage to a powerful family.

So has a scar that cuts across his eye and which in this society makes him a horror to look at or smthing idk he just looks extra hot to me but anyway he wears a mask and is known as the wolf dog (or as the MURDER ANGST CUPCAKE thanks @abadpoetwithdreams). He might seem a little rough around the edges at first because his life has been hell but he really just wants to love and be loved okay people need to be nice to him wtf

Other princes include:

1. the Crown Prince, Wang Mu, a good egg, not particularly charismatic but he tried to protect his lil bro when no one else would

2. the 8th prince, Wang Wook, who reminds me of a fellow named Shane and I don’t mean the cowboy

3. the 10th prince, Wang Eun, a dumb adorable spoiled bby (played by Baekhyun from EXO)

4. the 13th prince, Baek Ah, a tol soft boi, an artist, a BAE, a BRO, a SHIPPER ON DECK

5. the 14th prince, Wang Jung this son will fight everyone he’ll fight himself he just loves to fight! Not always wise but he’s a good boy and I like him a lot

6. just realized I skipped the 9th prince but nobody cares

One quick note is that IU plays Hae Soo, and I enjoy her a lot in the first half of the show where she is still spunky and rebellious...sadly her character kind of falls apart/gets too weak for my liking as the episodes progress

The MAIN reason why I feel it my duty to recommend this show to everyone despite the fact I have never met anyone who wasn’t traumatized by it is LEE JOON GI

Yes, this man:

I mentioned him in the previous rec post—he played Bong Sang Pil in Lawless Lawyer (AND IS NOW CURRENTLY STARRING IN FLOWER OF EVIL WHICH WILL BE ON ANOTHER POST AHDFOIASDHGALDSKJF FRIQ I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN)

BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIS PHOENIX EYES!!! HIS RAZOR SHARP FEATURES! HIS BIG ADORABLE EARS! HIS BEAUTIFUL EXCESSIVE BANGS! 4TH PRINCE WANG SO LOVE OF MY LIFE

SOMEONE PROTECT THIS BBY

2. Hwarang: Ok so right off the bat I am going to smack down a disclaimer that I can’t stand the female lead. TRULY CANNOT. Thus, I don’t like the romance, and only care about the love triangle as far as it just shows how sad and lonely one of the guys is. (Also there are scenes of dumb old men plotting and I don’t like them either). At the end of the show, I am happy that the one guy is NOT stuck with the female lead as his wife. Good for you sir

Sounds like a show to steer clear of then, right? WRONG. This is a show that you skip through because the scenes that are good? Are GREAT

Picture this: It is the Silla era of Korea, and the queen is ruling as regent in place of her son, who has been hiding all his life because everyone wants to kill him. Well, son is now grown and must soon come into the light and take the throne. Queen who both wants her son as king but also really likes being queen decides to do everyone a favor and form an elite fighting squad out of all the prettiest and most talented sons of nobles in the land, with the idea that they will be loyal only to the throne, and thereby keep their dads from plotting to destroy everything.

Let me tell you something, these ARE the prettiest boys in the land. Good hair, good jawlines, beautiful smiles—the cast lineup includes Park Hyung Sik and his cute lil elf ear, Park Seo Joon, Taehyung (yes from BTS!), and Choi Minho from Shinee, plus two other actors who are lesser known but who are drop-dead gorgeous. Anyway. Sorry, but they really are all beautiful.

The fun thing is they don’t all get along right away, a few of them are VERY much opposed to the other for various reasons, but they all have to bond and become brothers in arms. And what they don’t know is that the real king snuck in and is one of them. 10/10 I would die for the boys! (also Tae has an older half-brother who is a lower rank than him but whom he looks up to and that makes for cuteness and pain) Once you skip the boring or annoying parts of the show, the rest has so much delight, laughter, and oops pain, lots of pain. I want to go re-watch.

Two other things I should mention about the show: a super soft side romance between secondary characters and a game of, as they call it in the show, HOT SOCCER

^pretty boy 1 (with the cute elf ear sadly on the other side of his head)

^pretty boy 2 (sad cheekbone bby) and pretty boy 3 (happy cheekbone bby)

^pretty boy 4 (the prettiest of them all, and he knows it!)

^pretty boy 5 (aka Taehyung danced around the set of a historical drama and made everyone adopt him as their bby)

3. Faith/The Great Doctor: This is a longer kdrama at 24 episodes and they didn’t have much of a budget so special effects aren’t the best or anything but I just got really attached to all the characters? This is another modern girl goes back in time but UNLIKE SHR it actually has a happy ending, so if you need a historical drama cleanse after that tearjerker/enrager, this could be it for you

Eun Soo has to navigate the ancient kingdom, keep people believing she is a heavenly doctor with special powers, and keep Choi Young alive so he can fulfill his promise of returning her to her own time. The problem with that is Choi Young does have kind of a death wish because of reasons—

Eun Soo is a plastic surgeon who would really like a rich handsome husband one day but them’s the breaks for you, aka she has had no luck in that department. Back in ancient Korea, Choi Young (played by Lee Minho in sadly the only role I really love him in) is a high-ranking beloved captain who can fall asleep anywhere. Oh he can also make electricity with his hands! :D

The story begins when the sleepy sad captain tries to escort the new king and queen to their palace. This was during the time period when ancient Korea was basically a puppet kingdom/tributary of ancient China (Yuan). The king (who is very smol and lacks confidence, but still has a good heart for his country) lived as a hostage in Yuan for many years, and his wise tol queen is a princess of that land, and someone needs to sit them down and make them talk because they actually love each other a lot. Anyway, when the queen gets injured by assassins, Choi Young goes searching for a legendary doctor, winds up in modern Korea, and steals both Eun Soo and a SWAT shield, because hey, it looked cool I guess

Lots of fun things in the show: Choi Young has a crew of soldiers who are BEYOND loyal to him, and while he doesn’t think much of the king at first because he’s been burned by kings before, they slowly become bros and shippers on deck for each other. Eun Soo does not lose her spunk or loyalty unlike other people I could mention *cough*HaeSoofromScarletHeartRyeo*, and it cracks me up when she curses people out. There are also a bunch of people (mostly bad guys) running around with special powers or gifts, including a flame lady and a flute boy, and the latter wears delightful anime wigs, keeps his sword in his flute, and plays his flute to kill—literally! I love flute boy very much

sorry it’s black and white but DO YOU SEE THE SWAT SHIELD

4. My Country: A New Age:

ANGST ANGST ANGST PAAAAAIN BUT ALSO BEST INTRO BEST FAVES BEST ACTORS

Picture this: two young men, who both hail from childhoods of trauma, who grew up together and are best friends, and who are tragically forced apart and end up on opposite sides of a conflict that threatens to upend the current rule of the kingdom. This IS the star-crossed brotp you’ve been waiting for!

Seo Hwi is the son of a general who died a criminal, and all he wants is to live simply and earn enough rice take care of his younger sister, who has seizures and a sweet crush on Hwi’s bestie. Hwi is the best softest most loyal boy with a good and true heart, a great deal of courage, and a talent for wielding a sword, and just wait till you see the best one-shot fight scene ever of him in battle, it is INCREDIBLE! (He is played by Yang Se Jong, who I now want to see more of) Hwi has an abundance of charisma points in that he picks up a small band of loyal soldier friends and they become the best little found family, lots of brotp-ness in this crew—do not mess with any of them because they will all FIGHT you

Seon Ho meanwhile is the illegitimate despised son of a powerful nobleman, only tolerated because the legitimate son died. Seon Ho loves his friend and is very protective of his friend’s little sister who crushes on him but his dad is a high class grade A power-hungry jerk and that causes complications of course. Seon Ho also has a good heart, he’s a gentle soul really, but he always gets stuck in bad positions and unfortunately makes a couple of difficult/bad choices so he hardens himself as much as he can but the consequences always kill him and he just wants to save his friends and destroy his dad and the stupid hierarchy that treats bastards as lesser. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Seon Ho he is played by Woo Do Hwan who has so much talent I die so many times over in this show just because of the way he portrays Seon Ho like that sad sad boy is one of my favorite characters evER! Is he problematic? At times maybe but I am HERE for him he just needs LOVE AND AFFECTION AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GOOD FRIENDS BUT INSTEAD (SOMETIMES THRU HIS OWN FAULT BUT HE ADMITS THAT) HE JUST SUFFERS AND SO I SUFFERRRR

*grabs a towel and dries up my tears*

Hwi also falls in love with a woman named Hui Jae (or was it Hee Jae i can’t remember) and they are very cute together, she’s pretty cool but the show’s one failing is arguably that they kind of underuse her in the plot as the story goes on? But I still like her and she still has a good role, and she is both brave and kind and not afraid to step in or tell people off, also keep a weather eye open for patching up scenes!

Oh yeah, eVERYONE in this gets hurt/stabbed/shot/bloody, such a shame they have to take their shirts off to clean and bandage the wounds ;)

Last character I must mention is Bang Won, played by Jang Hyuk in his second interpretation of the historical figure. Bang Won is the fifth? son of the guy who becomes emperor/king, and he has his own plans for the country, so when Hwi catches his eye, he recruits him to his cause. What you need to know about him is that he has issues with his dad, is slightly unhinged, and cannot and should not be parted from the fan that he constantly carries around with him. Gotta say, Jang Hyuk is FANTASTIC (heheheheheheh) in the role, able to convey all kinds of emotion in the rise and fall of his voice, in the tilt of his head, the tears of his eyes, the flick of his fan. Give this actor all the awards!

To sum up: if you like to cry for days after watching a drama, if you like excellent heart-wrenching brotps, if you like conflicted characters, if you like amazing music and setting and plot, if you like guys with good hair and arm muscles (and

abs, thank you shirtless scenes what) this show is a Must Watch

DID I SAY STAR-CROSSED BROTP I MEANT SWORD-CROSSED BROTP ADKJFADLSKJFLKJDFALKDGKLJL </3

Ok I was going to leave the historical drama post at this for now but...I’m going to cheat a little and include the one historical C!drama I just finished.Yes folks I am talking about:

5. Nirvana in Fire:

Ok so maybe the switch from kdrama to cdrama makes you uncertain. Maybe the fact that this show has FIFTY-FOUR EPISODES makes you go hell no I don’t have enough time for that. Well if you overlook this show for those reasons, you are making, and I do not exaggerate, the greatest mistake of your show-watching life!

Look, first, this drama has one of the best, most intricate, most satisfying plots in history, with like 20 characters you would die for, and second, the episodes are only about 42 minutes each, which is shorter than most kdrama episodes, so you can deal.

Once upon a time there was a general/family who were just too good to exist in corrupt old China, so naturally they were framed for treason and there was a giant massacre and everybody died, including the eldest prince who was like um dad maybe this is all a horrible mistake and the king was like no u are the mistake. Sad times.

One of the many younger princes named Jing (A NOBLE HEART, if not always the cleverest) returns home from wherever he was, finds out that not only did his prince brother die, but so did his best friend/brother in the whole wide world, Lin Shu, son of the general. Because he insists on the innocence of said bros/family, Jing becomes an outcast prince and is shuffled off to fight in wars where he can’t cause any trouble. Meanwhile, Princess Nihuang, Lin Shu’s brave, awesome, amazing, wise, incredible girlfriend, refuses to marry anyone else, and because she is too cool to be messed with, nobody tries to banish her

Cut to I think eleven years later, when the two most powerful princes are vying to be the crown prince and heir to the throne. They both try to recruit the aid of a renowned clever and sassy strategist named Mei Changsu, to help them with plotting and PR and such.

Well little do they know that Mei Changsu is actually the not-dead Lin Shu, with a completely new face (for reasons), and that Mei Changsu is a chess master setting up a long con for the dual purpose of obtaining revenge/justice for the dead and of raising Prince Jing to the throne, since Prince Jing is the only man with a good enough heart and strong enough will to make China a better place for all the people. But just to make it hard on everybody, Mei Changsu is dead set on not telling anyone who he really is—again, for reasons. He is not always successful in keeping his secret.

I literally don’t know what else to say because there is so MUCH to say, so many characters to love, and I mean LOVE. How do you get a cast this good? How is everyone so different yet so important? How do you feel bad for the emperor even when he’s slimy? How do you have to stop yourself from rooting for the prince who would destroy some of your faves? I can’t praise the charisma and acting talent in this show enough! And the music! IS GORGEOUS!

1 strategist too sassy for his own good and too clever for everyone else’s good + 1 prince who loves his mom and his dead best friend and his dead older brother more than anything else in the world + 1 gentle wise mom + 1 eternally loyal princess who would defend her loved ones with the sword if necessary + 1 sassy Elrond healer man + 1 grumpy sulky baby who loves being a better fighter than almost everyone + 1 loyal to the death, brave badass general who is going to have a stress breakdown if the strategist doesn’t take better care of himself + not 1 but 2 good boys who deserve to be protected but who are willing to throw themselves into battle if necessary + 1 antagonist tiger prince who I love and am not ashamed to say it = THE BEST OF TIMES

^he hardly ever wears his hair down but when he does <33333333

*checks calendar* how soon is too soon rewatch something, asking for a friend

#kdrama recommendations #scarlet heart ryeo #hwarang #faith: the great doctor #my country: the new age #nirvana in fire #my kdrama recs #historical kdramas #plus one cdrama #i went overboard on gifs sorry not sorry

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bre-meister · 4 years ago

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So, I just watched the first 3 episodes of Fate: The Winx Saga and I know I don’t usually talk about Winx on this blog but... girl gotta put her thoughts somewhere. This show was my childhood and Netflix really said “Fuck it”.

I’ll leave it under the cut so if you wanna stay for this rant, feel free

I went into this knowing I would hate it and, honestly, I do and I don’t

I think it is an absolute shit dumpster fire of an adaptation that someone poured gasoline on and then tried to lite on fire with Bloom’s inconsistent control issues and shit just got even worse

But, this could have been a fairly decent show If it was a stand alone- It had no need to be attached to the Winx name because it really is not Winx

There are some problems I had with it that everyone had before the show even dropped - The whitewashing and lack of diversity, the atrocious outfits, the lack of wings (“We evolved” that’s fucking bullshit y’all know good and well that part of the fun of the OG show was the new transformations and the outfits and we can’t even have that)

Also there is def technology here so why the FUCK do we not have Tecna? She’s the straight laced girl of the group but at the same time I feel like she could have added some much needed levity

And my girl would have told it like it is. Sometimes these people (not the Winx because they are NOT the Winx) do dumb shit for the sake of doing dumb shit and Tecna would never have allowed this!

Combining the Trix into one person is still iffy for me, like I get why they did it but I just don’t think it has the same effect as having the three of them

Sometimes she gives me Icy vibes and most of the time she gives me Darcy vibes and almost never she gives me Stormy vibes (even though her powers are most like Stormy) and that shit just gives me whiplash

I also think that having the witches at cloud tower provided the original show with this great idea of “even though we use dark magic and are considered witches we still make the choice ourselves as to whether or not we use that magic for good or for evil” but then again I might be reading into it too much who knows

It’s bad enough they had to go and make Aisha the token black character but then they also make her this mean, black woman caricature (and I know it stems from her frustration that she can’t do this one thing perfect but still, as a black young woman who has seen black women portrayed like this constantly it is damaging as hell)

On that note - why did they have to make the one black and overall minority girl the control freak? Idk it just doesn’t really sit right with me

Speaking of jealousy...we gotta talk about Stella

I know this is supposed to be more realistic and grown up and ya, I get it, girls can be catty but dude, Stella WOULD NEVER

THIS Stella endangered Bloom on PURPOSE because she was Jealous and then she really wanted to dipp on her in the woods after Bloom was trying to help her get back HER ring she shouldn’t have given her in the first place all cause she was a bit scared? Even scared Stella in the original show wouldn’t have done that! Would she have complained? YES! But she wouldn’t be so quick to give up

Need I remind everyone that she almost drained herself completely trying to protect her friends in the Omega Dimension from the Ice Snakes and only stopped because Musa was like “Stella, your hurting yourself. Take a break everyone will be ok”

And this shit show wants me to believe that these are the saem people? I think not!

So I’m only on episode 3 but I can already tell that whatever they’re trying to say happened with Rickie is not what actually happened and that whole storyline is just super annoying like bro, there better be a good ass reason why she is pretending to be such a terrible person and I just don’t trust this show to be that creative

This thing between her and sky is so confusing and makes like, no sense

Moving on...

I love Sam, he is so sweet and cute and amazing

His introduction “uh...I’m Sam...what’s up” made me laugh my ass off and I can’t even tell you why

Truly I love him but at the same time...he’s kinda getting in between Musa and Riven

Like I get that their relationship was not the best at all (and this Riven has even more problems which was kinda unnecessary cause he already had SO MANY!) but at the same time when we’ve only got the opportunity to have 2 of the original couples like... I’m gonna need this show to give me something

Riven - I loved him in the original show because he always had so many issues but then season 4 rolled around and he was genuinely trying to become a better person. And to have the guts to realize later that he was not ok and that he had to leave to figure that out? Respectable. I recognize that this dude had issues (and that Musa deserved better) but I respected him by the end of his journey

THIS Riven? He can eat shit. I know this is kinda supposed to be the whole Darcy arc he had in the first season or whatever but at least then he was being mind controlled to a certain extent which explained a lot of why he was doing what he was. But this dude is just an overall douche.

Isn’t he supposed to be Bi? Internalized homophobia is amazing guys we definitely want more of that - - (just to be clear that was sarcasm)

And I know this contradicts my wanting him and Musa to be together but I think that these two things go hand in hand

I hate that they upped his issues by 100000x because I legit want them to be together and have a genuinely good, functional relationship

But Sam is precious and should be protected

So now Terra

Honestly I think making her say “I have a cousin named Flora” only made the whitewashing more obvious and worse. If they seriously wanted to go this route they should have just committed and not brought Flora’s name into this at all. We the fans are not idiots Netflix! We know what you did!!

This might just be a more personal thing but I kinda feel like they made her entire personality (at least this far) only about her being plus size

And this was FAR more prevalent in the few chapters from the book I could stomach to read

And wasn’t that their defense for whitewashing? That they wanted to have more inclusion in body types?

You can have a plus size character and not make almost 90% of their screen time about them being self conscious about their body- Like this legit seems to be almost 99% of the reason she’s socially awkward

Again, if you’re going to commit, COMMIT! Show her being ok in her own body and her own skin. Let’s fight against the same culture that makes this character feel self conscious

As far as Musa goes... still don’t really like that they changed her powers

I guess they thought her new ones would be more useful in a more “practical” setting but um... they haven’t been? Not really?

I know she said she’s not a human lie detector but... they show keeps making her one whenever it’s convenient

I guess they thought her new ones would be more useful in a more “practical” setting but um... they haven’t been? Not really?

I still don’t understand why they have to sneak around but, idk maybe they’ll explain it later ( like I get that Sam is Terra’s bro but Musa and Terra don’t even know eachother like that for this drama to be such a big deal)

Bloom is alright

That’s all I have to say about her

Her mom though?

Idk why she was acting the way she was, Just why?

Not her making fun of Bloom going to antique shops when Vanessa owns a literal FLOWER SHOP in the original show!

I will say though, “This basic bitch will pull out her PhD and take you to school. Every comeback is another week without your door. Hit me.” with that confidence? BEST LINE IN THE SHOW!

She had my support for like .5 sec there

“Slam the door, loose the door” she was on some Black mother shit right there - the amount of time my mom has threatened me with this?

It wasn’t even a threat it was a promise

Sky seems to be the most in character but then again the bar isn’t set too high

Why are the teachers so fucking shady? And are there only 3 professors in this giant ass school?? (I say that knowing there were only, like 4 in the original - 5 if we count Daphnee)

It also took me a min to realize that they kinda combined Feragonda and Griselda into one person. I don’t really like it that much

I still don’t understand why they had to strip Aisha and Sky of their titles. I felt like that added so much to their characters - Aisha felt the need to be so perfect because she was a princess and Sky had all these increasing obligation through the show that would create conflict (sometimes it was stupid but still)

Also for a show about they Winx they sure as hell don’t spend that much time together

They got their name in the FIRST EPISODE of the original show. It’s been 3 and the only mention of “Winx” was a quick pan of the door label for their suite. Blink and you missed it

And they seem to keep flip flopping between being best friends to being indifferent to each other, to “I don’t really know you” to sometimes hating each other (the emotion flop is mainly Stella but the others seem to have some weird ranges as well)

From a technical standpoint this show has some weird choices

Sometimes cuts will just ...happen? Especially during actions scenes sometimes it’s hard to make sense of what’s happening

And all the fight scenes - especially the training scenes - just seem so rehearsed it hard to watch

and why does Riven keep flip flopping between the worst specialist and a great one?

The utter lack of creativity in terms of the technology and weapons and even just the representation of the magic in this show is sad

The Original was so magical and colorful It was always obvious that this was a different dimension

I feel like I could legit go to Switzerland and find a place just like this and it wouldn’t be anything super different or weird

I also still don’t get why earth can’t know? Are we just gonna pretend that the Earth fairies and Believix and the Wizards of the Black Circle just... didn’t happen?

If this person that Beatrix is working for isn’t Lord Darkar or Valtor like...idk what to do

Again I would just like to stress that this show did not need to be an adaptation

In fact it really isn’t I don’t know what they hell they are adapting cause this is NOT Winx and I cannot stress enough just how utterly wrong this felt while watching it

All most of the characters have the same names but they are not the same people at all - no where close

Also can I just say, Sky’s hair seemed so different (length, part, style) almost every other scene sometimes I would legit have to sit back and be like “this is the same actor right?”

Speaking of I’d like to finish this off by saying: absolutely no hate to the actors and actresses - I can see they are doing their best with what they have been given and most of the more controversial decisions were not made by them

I will say I did think that linking Fairy magic to emotion was a good touch - idk if they did this in the Original show or not. I can’t remember

So far this show...

As and adaptation:

words cannot describe how bad it is

As a stand alone property:

I mean, it’s noting amazing or truly different but I’ve definitely seen worse

I’ll probably make another one of these for the last 3 episodes. I could literally get 0 notes on this and still do it anyway. Sometimes you really just gotta rant

#fate: the winx saga #this was literal shit #rant #not my usual blog content #but it had to be said

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moonlightflower21 · 5 years ago

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Always, part 6

A/N: here you guys goooo! sorry for the long delay xD i kept trying to redo this chapter and i'm still not sure with how i feel about it :/ but hope you guys enjoy!

this is also pretty long, like... really long. sorry xD

Part 1- X

Part 2- X

Part 3- X

Part 4- X

Part 5- X

"No!" Karai bellowed out but it was too late; the turtles were up and within mere seconds threw their opponents down to the floor. She cursed at you, her breath shortening as the pain in her leg grew progressively worse. She could barely breathe but the anger and glare on her face remained perfectly intact.

"This place is guarded up, you're going to need a hell of plan to escape" she gritted out, snarling at you and the turtles as her fingers clenched around her thigh despite the blood leaking through her fingers. She sounded breathless, her back leaning up against a wall glaring daggers at you.

"Save your energy. The more you move, the further that rod cuts deeper into you" you replied back sarcastically, eyeing at her disgust. But looking around, the confidence you held was slowly diminishing. She wasn't wrong. The footbots that surrounded you all were beginning to circle closer toying with their weapons, waiting for the order from their leader. It wasn't as you though you could run to the exit, they had the door locked with a guard of footbots standing there keeping watch. Even if you escaped, you couldn't imagine how many lay outside waiting to take you all down. But now was not the time to panic, you had to find a way out of here.

"This is a nice reunion, isn't it Y/N? You with the turtles, especially one in particular. Your boyfriend... Oh wait.... Ex-boyfriend, isn't that right?" She chuckled, as someone tried to fix her thigh. She let out pained cry, when the object was removed and you allowed a small smirk on your lips. You wanted nothing more than to stab her again with the same object, this time making sure it penetrated deep within the muscles and tendons in her thigh. You knew she tried to get into your head, trying to get you to break down. You hated her for the same thing, because Donatello would always play such a big part in your life. No matter how many times you pretended he didn't. All the turtles did... but Donnie was different.

"We were never a couple to begin with, perhaps check your facts before you so confidently spill them" you counteracted calmly, a look of satisfaction at the pain she was in. You composed everything well on the outside, but inside it was all a mess. It had always been a mess since he left.

Donnie scanned you over with his intelligent eyes and from here, it seemed as though you were okay. Physically, yes. But mentally, maybe not so much. He saw the pain that flashed in your eyes when she mentioned him and his brothers, the hurt that you still carried over his actions and with that, the amount of guilt that flooded his gut increased. You were never obliged to stay with them, you could have done and lived your own life. But you didn't, you stuck with them even through the darkest moments. He pushed so far, you couldn't enter the lair without being hit with the reminder that he hated you. But he didn't hate you, why couldn't you see that?

Donnie was never one to believe in regrets, living his life as best as he could. There were few people who knew of his existence, you being one of them. And looking at you now, if only he could go back in time and reverse his actions, he would've done so in a heartbeat. Because this wasn't just some ordinary friendship, you were one of the few he told deep secrets to. The same person who would be there for him, chatting at 3am when his mind wouldn't rest. When the rest of his family were snoozing peacefully blissfully unaware of the nightmares that would sometimes haunt his mind. Or the times when after a bad patrol, he would come to his lab and sit in silence reflecting. You would help him realise he wasn't alone in what he was feeling, he didn't have to share the burden by himself. You were there during the lowest moments of his life as well as the happiest. A dull pain throbbed in his heart as he realised he may never be able to experience it ever again with you. He ruined it all. And despite being the genius of the group, he had no way of understanding how to fix it.

"Where even are we?" Mikey whispered, his hands curled around the hilt of his nunchucks. His wild eyes looked around frantically for an escape but it seemed barren, nothing clear to indicate their location. Or so he thought.

"I-I think we're underground... see those pipes over there..." Donnie looked up, trying to look for an escape route as his hand stretched out his bo staff for protection. The footbots were guarded around, their face nothing but a sneer at you all.

Yet there was a ladder, far across from where the footbots huddled up. The ladder seemed to trail upwards, leading to another pathway. Whether it was the correct escape route or not didn't exactly cross your mind, any sort of exit from here would be great. It was just a risk you were willing to take. The boys slowly backed up, their hands firmly placed on their weapons as their eyes scanned the room. Realisation settled on their features, knowing why Karai would pick such a location. Fighting wouldn't be the wisest, unless they attacked first. They needed their energy for later.

Leonardo noticed you looking to the side, following the trail with his eyes and let out a soft gasp when there was a ladder. With an arched brow, he looked to his brothers who too, found possibly the only escape they had. "Attack them!" Karai snapped angrily, trying to stand up but you all five ran for your lives. You stepped on the ladder first, quickly climbing to the top which lead to another alley. The walls were metals, and the thumps created by the enemies made your head pound loudly. It hurt to think but you had to get out. The boys were defending off the footbots as you searched blindly for a door to run out of. There was a little light that flickered above a door and with squinted eyes, you read the sign. EXIT.

"Through here!" You yelled, opening the door and finding the open ground and the fresh air hit your face. It seemed like you all were in some warehouse but you would cross the bridge when it came. It was dangerous to be here and you opened the large doors for the turtles to come in.

"Let's go, guys!" Leo ordered, kicking off a footbot from his frontal vision and running forwards towards the exit. You were about to follow them when you saw a shadow in the background, aiming something for the purple clad turtle. He was occupied with fighting off what was in front of him; he didn't spare a glance to the parts where he would be most vulnerable. The back of his head and shoulders.

"Y/N! Hurry!" Raph yelled out to you, opening the door and you looked to him and then back. Everything was playing in slow motion, it was so conflicting which one to choose from. "Donnie, bro!" Mikey shouted, about to rush back for his brother but you ran past him, instead.

It was as though instinct took over. Despite everything, despite what he had done you couldn't let him die. Not when you could save him. "Behind you!" You yelled, throwing him down and feeling something slice deep which you later found out was a knife. It punctured the skin of your stomach in a quick upward motion and with a soft breath, your body fell to the ground. Your name was screamed through the room as swords clashed against each other but the hammering in your head muted their sounds. Your body felt simultaneously numb and heavy, your eyes wanting to close by themselves as the darkness seemed to welcome you with open arms.

"Y/N?? Y/N! Oh my god- Stay with me! Leo!" a panicked voice overcame and you figured it was Donatello, but you couldn't hear him straight for your blood roared over your ears and the thumping in your head heightened with every minute. The warm blood oozed through your clothes, staining them in a deep red that would put Raphael's mask to shame.

"Take her, let's go!" Someone instructed in a clear and sharp voice, interrupting the ramble of the younger turtle. "I got it" He picked you up bridal, and all four turtles made their way to the exit, ramming the door shut as best as they could. "We gotta get home now! Any idea where we are?" Leo asked Donnie who looked down at you with fear and sadness. He snapped out of his trance as his brothers looked at him expectantly.

"Y-Yeah I just gotta...." He placed you in the arms of Raph and quickly tightened a piece of fabric over your stomach. "That should put pressure on the wound until I can properly access it" his voice was almost breathless, as though this was a nightmare he would wake up from. He couldn't believe this, you were stabbed here in his brothers arms and your blood spattered everywhere. He should have protected you, he should have taken the hit. Why did you jump in??

"S'gonna be okay, Don. We gotta get the hell outta here" Raphael spoke quietly, knowing that the genius was already overwhelmed as it was. It surprised him that Raphael could speak in this warm tone, only ever hearing him use this towards Mikey when he was badly hurt. The thumping in the distance grew louder and he knew that he had to get his acts and thoughts together.

"Yes, okay. You're right" he smiled softly at his older brother before looking at his team. They gave encouraging smiles back, even if danger was right behind them. "Let's go" and with a clear order, Donnie's brain seemed to work properly once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a gentle beeping that awoke you and without even thinking straight, you knew you were in the lair. Something covered your mouth and with a shaky hand you removed it weakly, stretching out your cramped arm a little. But in doing so, a shot of excruciating pain went through your stomach and you winced, clenching your jaw in pain. How far had this knife hit you?? You sighed exasperated, and leaned your head against the pillow. The smell of coffee, vanilla and mechanic oil wafted through the air, flooding your brain with memories of Donatello. Donnie....

Looking down, the end of your blouse was ripped for easy access to the wound. Though the top covered most of your stomach, the bandages peeked through which made the events of the night unfold. You looked to the ceiling, having no energy to pause the events from unfolding. You had remembered pushing Donnie out of the way, remembering the complete shock when your body came into contact with the ground. And the numbing pain that shot up your abdomen alongside warm blood which pooled out incessantly dripping down your arm and to the floor. You hated that, feeling so deeply for Donatello even if you thought he couldn't feel the same way. Because no matter how many times you repressed those very feeling, they seemed to be coming in stronger and more frequent. You heard a shift near the door, indicating you weren't alone.

"Y/N?? Dudette??" Someone called out warily and you turned your head slightly to see Mikey looking at you with shock and then happiness. His eyes widened when they captured you awake. Injured, but alive. Your heart stripped when you saw him. You couldn't help but feel sad leaving them, out of the blue.

"You're awake... you've been knocked out for hours" he came in, holding a jug of fresh water and your throat felt tightened, needing some of the refreshing liquid down your throat. It hit you how badly dehydrated you were.

"Oh, here ya go" he smiled, pouring some water in a glass and coming over to you. He held the glass and you held the rim of the cup as you drank the water. Something didn't seem quite right, the usual happy and bubbly personality he normally donned had gone. He smiled at you but you narrowed your eyes at him, his smile didn't seem genuine enough.

"What's wrong?" You whispered, voice a little groggy from having just woken up. You leaned up on one elbow, to take a real good look at the youngest turtle. "What- me? Nah, nah I'm good. I'm good..." he chuckled, coughing slightly to rid the tremble so easily heart in his voice; hoping you wouldn't see through it. But even so, you spent enough time with him to know there was something else he was hiding away from you.

"You're lying, what is it?" You asked more sternly, clear that you were in no mood to mess about. Carefully, he set the jug to the side and eyed the bandages in your stomach. His heart twisted in his chest, thinking about the whole situation. How easily he could have lost someone he cared about, whether it was you or Donnie.

"You-you took a knife for him Y/N. You could have died, tonight. Seeing you there, in your own blood..." he took a deep breath, trying to shake away the brutal image of your limp body passed out in Donnie's arms. "I.. it wasn't anything big. I would have done the same thing for any of you" You replied, softly patting his hand that was next to you.

"But Y/N, we have bulletproof shells. You have soft skin, on your back. I-I wasn't ready to bury my best friend, not now not ever" he whispered, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he finally raised his head to look at you. You looked to your lap, feeling the guilt way upon your heart. He called you best friend, which meant that he forgave you. "You did what was you thought was right. And you're okay. You're alright" he smiled softly, repeating the sentences softly as though he still couldn't believe it. You sure had a lucky escape tonight. Mikey rubbed the top of your hand with the pad of his thumb in a calming manner, as though to reaffirm your thoughts. You nodded, smiling slightly at him.

"I wanna say something else. Thank you for saving, Donatello. I know what he did to you... wasn't right. But you left us behind, you acted like we didn't exist" he spoke sadly, sighing softly at the whole situation. And there it was, the sentence you dreaded hearing. It made you sound like a bad guy and in a sense you were. They had done nothing but you chose to ignore them anyway.

"I'm so sorry Mikey. I couldn't come here without... remembering him. It's not a good excuse, I know. But I'm truly sorry" you looked in his eyes, meaning every word and he let out another sigh, giving you a chuckle. "I understand. You don't have to explain, we kinda figured. You're awake, now. I better tell Donnie-"

"No, I don't want to see him. I can't" you begged him and Mikey looked at you wide eyed before placing his hand gently over yours. "I'll tell him not to come here. As long as everything stays well with you" he smiled and you nodded hesitantly. "Okay, that's fine" you sighed and he chuckled. "Let me go tell the others" he rushed out of the room and you sat up slightly looking at the floor. If Mikey was hurt this bad, it made you wonder how Donnie must've felt. Hell, if even cared. Since he was so wrapped up with April.

"Y/N?" Leo knocked and came in, and your head snapped up to meet his look. This was scary, how would the leader react? Would he cold and calculating; would he be displeased to see you after a whole month of practically no communication?

"So I see you're doing quite well" he chuckled softly and sat down gingerly on the chair besides the bed. You raised a brow slightly, so sure he would talk about the whole situation with Donnie. But he seemed to avoid it, and you couldn't be more glad.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Thank you" you chuckled, until the red brute trickled in. And to your surprise, he gave you a half smile.

"That was one nasty cut you took. Still that fiery Y/N? Who never backs down from a challenge?" Raph smirked, sitting on the other chair and you laughed gently with him. This felt nice, having that communication back with the turtles with no awkwardness. The last turtle hadn't come into the room and while you were thankful for Mikey, a part of you missed him being so affectionate towards you. Making you feel so special and loved. But the laughter and jokes prevailed throughout the room, the sharp pain in your abdomen was soon forgotten as the boys helped cheer you up.

Donnie stood behind the door, a feeling of being relieved as you sounded okay. Yet his heart tightened up, he forgot how much he missed having you around and hearing your giggles. How much your jokes would make him chuckle and how how much your smile would make his day. He regretted everything he ever said to you that day. A tear trickled down his cheek, you hated him now and he couldn't blame you. But as long as you were okay, that was all that mattered. He couldn't help but feel so damn envious and jealous of his brothers, who so effortlessly got along with you.

Perhaps one day, you would talk to him.

#tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader fanfic #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #tmnt donatello x reader angst #tmnt 2014/16 #tmnt 2016 x reader

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callmebaby-era-yixing · 5 years ago

Text

Cut You A Piece

Mark is terrified of getting married.

Word Count: 8773 (just kinda dipping my toes in writing, I DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS)

Mark x OC // Johnny x Y/N

TW - Angst, suicidal moments, death, minor curse words

Based off this song

Nervous was an understatement, he was terrified. Mark stood in front of the full length mirror picking at his black tux. His necktie was crooked, his sleeve had random dust on it, even his hair was betraying him by being too fluffy. Jackie always said that his fluffy hair was one of her favorite things about him. She said it made him "adorable and approachable," which of course Mark was grateful for since it was what encouraged her to approach him first.

Back then, Mark would have never imagined that the girl who made a sudden compliment on his hair would become his wife to be. But here he was, fidgeting with the pink rose on his chest and repeatedly patting his pocket to make sure the ring was still there.

Mark's breath caught in his throat as he went to check again. A sigh of relief followed out of his lips soon after. It was still there.

He shook his arms and legs trying to shake out some of his nerves. Mark attempted to clear his head for the 10th time in the last hour, only to fail again. He was marrying the love of his life yet he couldn't stop worrying about everything that could happen. Not with the wedding, he was sure that would go peacefully, but with what would happen after.

He was worried because Jackie was mortal. Obviously, he was mortal too but more importantly, Jackie was. She could be taken away from him at any time, even by accident. Did he really want to get married if there's a possibility that she could die tomorrow? Maybe not getting married would make it hurt less. He'd still lose his soulmate but at least then it would be his girlfriend, not his wife. He had seen what it was like to lose a wife when Johnny lost Y/N.

He ran his fingers through his newly dyed hair as he released a huff of air. Jackie had made a request that they both color their hair pink for the special day to surprise the guests. Mark hadn't seen the color on her yet but he already knew she would look like perfection personified. A mental image of her popped into his head and all previous thoughts of not marrying her disappeared for a moment. He was 100% certain he wouldn't survive losing her but he wanted this more than anything.

The sound of footsteps pulled Mark from the mirror. The man was barely able to completely turn away before a rowdy group of men burst into the room. The 6 groomsmen surrounded the pink haired man and began teasing him.

"Our Mark Lee is getting married," Haechan cheerfully hollered with a bottle of sparkling cider in hand. His yell seemed to trigger the rest to join in with their own screams. Jackie decided to make the wedding alcohol free since she knew the boys didn't need its influence to be hyper.

"Your hair is so pink!" Chenle reached to ruffle the groom's hair but was blocked by Jaemin.

"Aren't you excited?" Jisung seemed to be the only one who noticed the conflicted expression on Mark's face. Upon hearing the youngest's question, everyone else quieted down to examine the situation themselves.

"I am," Mark started, "I just don't want to lose her." His voice was laced with worry. Not wanting to make eye contact with any of his friends, he instead glanced over all of their grey suits. Jackie picked the colors: pink, grey, black, and white.

"Lose her?" Renjun laughed. "You're literally about to marry her!"

"Not like that!" Mark defended. Glancing over to Renjun, he continued in a mumble, "like Y/N."

At the mention of the girl, the group fell into a thick silence.

"You shouldn't think about that," Haechan quietly asserted.

"It's hard not to. You saw how Johnny was when it happened. He's stronger than I am and he barely got through it," Mark paused, "actually he never got through it!"

Placing his hand on the groom's shoulder, Haechan comforted, "Just because that happened to them, doesn't mean that'll happen to you."

"I know, it's just.." Mark drifted off. Too many memories of Johnny and Y/N were running through his head.

"Maybe I should stop smoking. What do you think?"

Mark was shocked to say the least. Johnny had been smoking since 8th grade and now, nearly 8 years later, he was speaking of quitting. Mark had told him many times to stop only to be ignored. "I told you to quit years ago, man!"

Smirking, Johnny replied, "well, I didn't want to then. Now I do."

"What changed?"

"You know that girl Y/N?"

Stuffing another slice of pizza in his face, Mark dug in his memories for the name Y/N. "Umm," he pondered out loud, "isn't that the girl you called a loner last year?"

"She and I have been hanging out since the school year started. Turns out neither of us are big fans of our psych class," Johnny explained smugly. "She said I always smell like a bus stop bench after I smoke." The tall male couldn't help but let out a laugh recalling the bold comment from the normally quiet girl. "So I was thinking of stopping or taking a break from smoking at least."

Not believing what he heard, Mark stared at his older friend waiting for him to say psych. Not hearing it, he asked, "Do you have a crush on her or something? Since when do you care about what you smell like to some girl? School started like 3 weeks ago and you're already changing yourself for her. I mean, like it's a good change but still, already?"

This was one of the first times Mark had ever seen Johnny get shy. "I don't know man. She's just different than I thought." A light blush painted Johnny's cheeks as he thought back to his conversations with Y/N. "I might like her," he admitted as he went to pour himself a shot of vodka. Bottle mid air, Johnny paused, "should I stop drinking too?"

"This is too weird, man." Mark shuttered.

"I know right."

Y/N was nervous, Mark could tell. She was quiet the whole night. She was normally quiet, but Mark assumed she would open up some more since she was meeting her boyfriend's friends for the first time. Instead, she barely spoke 2 sentences from her arrival.

Johnny kept her close the whole night, probably for her comfort. He held his arms around her waist while he made conversation with Jungwoo. She wasn't invested in what they were talking about but was content being in his arms. Her eyes glanced about the party that her boyfriend arranged just to introduce her to everyone. She honestly couldn't see herself hanging out with them very often, but Johnny made it a big deal to combine his favorite people and she couldn't disappoint him.

Mark had said probably 4 words to her before he started talking with his friends. He was happy for his friend, however he didn't see the point of trying to become close when he knew that Y/N would not be comfortable this soon.

"What do you think of Y/N?" Yuta asked Mark suddenly.

"She's okay. She makes Johnny happy so I guess she's cool?" Mark answered honestly.

"Yeah sure. I heard him talking about signing up for tutoring because of her, something about wanting to 'deserve' her," Yuta scoffed. He had been pissy ever since the relationship started. Mark assumed it was because Johnny decided to work on himself and was no longer Yuta's partner in crime. "I mean, I'm happy he's happy but it's like she's controlling him."

Mark turned his attention to Y/N "controlling" Johnny. She was looking up at him with stars in her brown eyes. It was clear that she loved him despite only being official for a month. In between sentences, Johnny would look down at her, smile, and place a small kiss on her cheek which only caused the stars in her eyes to grow bigger. That scene let Mark know all he needed to know: Y/N was just as whipped for Johnny as he was for her.

A smile imprinted on Mark's face. Seeing his friend so in love with someone who matched the affection was relaxing. To be honest, Mark had been worried for Johnny with his rebel past, the older male having a history of not thinking of his future. Y/N was helping build him into a better person but Mark was proud of him for actually doing the work needed to get there. For that, Mark was grateful to both of them.

"You've known her for like a year and a half! You guys have been dating for slightly less than that!" Mark had been trying to reason with Johnny for the past hour.

"Y/N and I have known each other for a year and 9 months exactly. We've been dating for a year and 6 months. I think we're ready!"

"You're thinking about proposing, bro!"

"I'm not 'thinking' about it, Mark," Johnny clarified, "I already got the ring."

Mark's eyes were wide and his mouth sat agape. His friend had invited him out to lunch just to spring this news on him. Johnny tried to casually slip in that he's going to ask Y/N to marry him but Mark caught on quicker than expected. He, of course, voiced his concerns about Johnny proposing. Mark's concerns doubled when Johnny announced that his plan was to be acted out during their graduation.

"Let's be real, Mark. If it wasn't for Y/N, I wouldn't be graduating at all! I love her," the last sentence was said with so much love and sincerity that Mark couldn't doubt it for a millisecond. Johnny had a goofy smile on his face just from speaking of his girlfriend. "We both know that I was pissing my life away before she told me to get my shit together. I would literally die for her."

"I don't doubt you love her, man. I'm just saying that maybe you should wait longer. Marriage is a major deal, you're basically giving her a piece of yourself. Don't you think you should give it a little more time?"

Grinning, Johnny didn't hesitate to reply, "nope."

Sighing, Mark asked the question that he needed to know to continue the conversation, "I'm not talking you out of this, am I?"

Somehow smiling even wider, Johnny repeated, "nope."

"If you think about what happened like that, it'll ruin the whole day," Renjun started gently, "Jackie is probably already nervous, hearing that you're freaking out won't help."

"It's not like I'm trying to! I just can't help thinking about it." Mark was telling the truth, he hadn't thought about it in the better part of 2 years until that moment. The man hadn’t even spoken to Johnny in about 3. He didn't want to think about the memory but it brought up a certainty that he had been able to avoid before: whether it's today, tomorrow, in 2 years, or 70, he was going to have to go on without Jackie at some point. The only way to challenge that would be if he passed first, which still wasn't ideal.

A low chime rang out through the room. Jeno reached for his phone in his back pocket and scanned the text he had received. "Doyoung said that they are ready to start whenever." Shutting off the screen, he looked up at the husband-to-be. "You love Jackie. She loves you. Marry her or you'll regret it." Nothing else was said as he walked out of the room to get in place for the ceremony.

Giving Mark another look of sympathy, Jisung and Chenle followed Jeno out. One by one, the remaining groomsmen made their exit too, each giving Mark a word of encouragement or a pat on the back.

Alone, Mark turned back to the mirror to make final adjustments to his appearance. Deciding that his tie won't get straighter and his hair won't get any better, he did one last shake and set off for the ceremony.

Jackie chose the perfect venue, in Mark's opinion. The entire building had white walls with gold and grey accents thrown here and there. Mark felt that his hair could be seen a mile away against the walls. The ceilings were about 2 stories high, which only made the space more airy, something the groom was thankful for at this moment where breathing was difficult. The floor was covered in a beautiful white carpet, nothing thick but soft enough to mostly mute his steps. The pink flowers complimented the entire design perfectly. Jackie and Mark agreed on arrangements of snapdragons and roses each in a clear glass vase for the occasion. There was a light smell from the flowers in the air, everything was ideal.

The hall Mark was walking down felt extremely long. For a moment, he thought he got lost only to realize he had speed walked past the door he was supposed to stop at.

His heart was beating out of his chest. If it went on like this, Mark was sure it would fall straight out on the white carpet and he would never see the safety deposit he put towards the venue. Both of his hands were shaking and he suddenly had to pee. "Calm down. Get it together." His mumbles did nothing to calm himself.

Searching for any distraction, he focused on the doors in front of them. They were white with gold intricate indents going through it. Their height was nearly double the groom which made him feel small and oddly comforted him. Mark released a shaky breath and gripped the gold doorknob. He went to turn it but the sweat on his hand prevented him from getting the friction he desperately needed to open it.

"Shit." Roughly patting his hands on his suit pants, Mark attempted to get as much moisture off as he could.

Trying again, Mark was able to get the door open that time.

The door opened to a beautiful main room. Somehow the ceiling was even higher in here than the hall he was coming from. The sides had white pillars that were topped off with what appeared to be angels made of stone. Those angels were holding up beams that ran across the ceiling. Windows were placed next to each angel and brought in loads of natural sunlight. The seats were covered in a light grey fabric that really helped to bring out the much more subtle grey accents throughout the room. Up at the altar, pink and white flower arrangements the size of small trees colored the space.

Mark paused at the back of the room to admire all the guests that had come. There were ushers standing on each side of him, waiting to hold open the doors for the wedding party. Mark's lips couldn't help but quickly quirk into a smile as he saw everyone turn in their seats to look at him. Everyone was dressed in black, grey, or pink, of course saving white for the bride. Mark could see his mom, his dad, even his older brother had made it, after originally he said he couldn't come. Mark made a mental note to punch him later for that. All of their eyes got wide at the sight of his cotton candy hair.

Mark began to walk down the aisle but continued smiling at his friends and family and the other guests as well. His steps were heavy despite how excited he was. Looking to his side, Mark could see that his older friends wore wide smiles as they took him in. He looked more mature than usual, even with the pink hair. They could also see how nervous he was but they expected as much.

Reaching the altar, Mark stopped walking and turned towards the crowd. He re-positioned his hands about 10 times before he finally decided on just holding them together behind his back. Not wanting to look at the guests for a moment, he let his head fall so he could stare at his shoes. They were black and plain, yet at that time, he was pretending like they were the most complex items ever. He sees another pair of dress shoes come to stand next to him. Looking up, he sees his grandfather who agreed to official the wedding. The old man had a bright pink suit on, which in any other situation, Mark would have a chuckle about. His grandfather lightly pats the groom's shoulder with a smile.

"Are you ready," his grandfather inquires. Mark swears if one more person asks him, he will scream. Instead of doing so however, he just nods his head with a tight smile and resumes examining his shoes.

About 4 minutes pass before Mark's shoe gazing is interrupted by the start of the song he and Jackie agreed to play for this part of the ceremony. The smooth instrumentals ironically filled his heart with everything but calmness.

The ushers opened the doors and the first to enter were Haechan and Abby, Jackie's best friend. As best man and maid of honor, they wore proud smiles. Haechan's dark grey suit sat perfectly on the male. His tie was pink against his white shirt and on his chest sat a pink rose, matching the flower on Mark's suit. Haechan had spent the previous 2 months showing off his outfit since the other groomsmen had light grey suits with white snapdragons instead. His hair was styled up for the special day.

Abby had on a pale, knee length, pink dress, the shade just slightly lighter than Mark's hair. The dress didn't have any fluffiness to it and flowed nicely. The bodice was a v-neck and sleeveless. Across Abby's waist laid a thin, grey satin waistband, which set her apart the other bridesmaids who all had a pink satin waistband. Her hair was jet black and stood out against the light dress but still went with the total theme of the room. It was styled with a few curls, otherwise it was pretty much allowed to fall freely.

The pair strolled gracefully down the aisle, arm in arm, smiling at the guests. Haechan playfully winked at Ten in the crowd, who rolled his eyes in return. Abby was also in a playful mood as she blew a few kisses to the guests on her side. Mark couldn't stop the second hand embarrassment from seeping in. He let out a small chuckle as his hand covered his mouth then returned back to behind him.

As the couple reached the altar, they untangled their arms as they walked to their respective sides. Haechan came to stand behind Mark and nudged his shoulder in a subtle show of support.

The next pair walked out: Renjun and Jackie's older sister Jada. They weren't as comfortable together as the best man and the maid of honor, but they still glided across the floor with content smiles. Following them was Jeno and Jackie's aunt, Stella. Stella was actually 1 year older than Jackie which Mark always found amusing. Jaemin and Daevy were the next to come out. Daevy was Jackie's closest friend other than Abby. She had known the bride since kindergarten and was just happy to be involved. Chenle and Jisung came out with their partners for the day as well: Tamara and Sunny, who were both Jackie's cousins.

The flower girls came out afterwards. One was Jackie's little sister and the other was Taeyong's niece. Mark asked to borrow her for the day since he couldn't think of anyone in his family for the job. The girls wore fluffy light grey dresses with pink satin waistbands. Both of the girls' hair were up in neat ponytails with curls at the end. They threw the flowers everywhere while laughing, causing the entire crowd to coo over them. Mark aww-ed right along with them.

The smooth music stopped and the traditional wedding march began. Mark's nerves practically doubled at the first note he heard. The 2 ushers that had been holding the tall doors open closed them briefly to allow the bride to get in place behind them. Mark felt a bead of sweat run down his backside as he swallowed roughly. He turned behind him to silently communicate with his groomsmen. His eyes screamed for help only to be met with a thumbs up or an eye roll.

Nodding to each other, the ushers went to pull back open the doors.

"Will you calm down?" Mark was trying to quietly yell at Johnny to stop bouncing in place. Johnny was nervous, Mark understood, but the man hadn't stopped moving since he arrived.

"She'll be walking down the aisle any moment now," Jaehyun started, "do you really want her to see you jumping around?" Jaehyun also was keeping his voice low to not draw too much attention. As Johnny's best man, Jaehyun stood closest to him and didn't have to speak very loudly to be heard.

"Do you think she changed her mind?" Johnny was a wreck. His nervousness was slipping into his tone. Y/N was supposed to walk down the aisle 10 minutes ago and she was yet to show. He didn't even attempt to hide his worry from the guests.

"No, she's probably freaking out too," Jaehyun rolled his eyes.

At his friend's words, Johnny stopped fidgeting and stared at Jaehyun with wide, panicked eyes. "She's freaking out?" Mark didn't like seeing him like this.

"No," Jaehyun was getting frustrated with the soon-to-be husband, "just relax." With that, he put his hands on Johnny's shoulders to spin him around.

Mark was getting nervous too. Not that Y/N wouldn't show, but that Johnny would work himself into a panic attack before she could.

The crowd was growing antsy as well. Many people started looking around to see if there was a reason for the delay. Johnny's father had walked up to the altar to ask his son if something was wrong, who shrugged his shoulders in reply. The bridesmaids were awkwardly scratching their heads.

Johnny was near tears when he saw Y/N's father briskly walking down the aisle alone. The man kept his head down until he reached the groom. Stopping at the altar, he stood with his back against the crowd and whispered to Johnny, "Y/N needs to talk to you."

Johnny's eyes went large and he swallowed hard. "Okay." His heart felt like it was preparing to drop at any second. Clearing his throat, he addressed the entire room, "Give me a moment, please." Not sparing another word, he took off running through the back door.

Mark stood there frozen as he watched his friend bolt out the exit. Y/N's father awkwardly walked to his seat and sat. The other groomsmen were talking among themselves. They didn't seem as worried as everyone else in the room but even they were starting to break a bit. Mark felt for Johnny. He wouldn't know how to react if he was in his place. A light hum fell over the room as the guests made conversation to pass the time.

Mark counted about 6 minutes before Johnny ran back to the altar. A wide smile graced his face as re-positioned himself at his spot.

"What happened," Doyoung questioned loud enough for the grinning groom to hear.

Johnny waved the air and let out a chuckle, "don't worry about it. Just be ready, she'll be coming out any minute."

Overhearing the small announcement, Y/N's father stood up and jogged to the back to be able to still give her away.

Johnny waved his hand to signal for the music to restart. The song began for the 2nd time and the guests stood facing the entrance.

The sound of the chapel doors opening floated through the room. Mark turned his attention from the groom to the source of the sound.

Y/N stood there in all her glory. Her ivory dress matched the theme of the wedding very well. The corset was covered in lace and complimented her figure perfectly. Her sleeves were made of a tulle that rested off her shoulder, the same kind of tulle that made up the dress's floor length skirt. In her hands, rested a simple bouquet of blue irises and white lilies.

She was nervous, Mark could tell. Her eyes rapidly bounced back and forth, scanning the room. Her father leaned over to her ear to whisper something, which helped her relax a bit. Tapping her arm that was wrapped in his, he began to lead her down the aisle.

A sniffle is heard in the room. Mark turned his head in the direction it came from, only to see Johnny with tears in his eyes. Mark's eyes widened at the new sight. He had known Johnny for most of his life and this was the first time the boy had ever seen the older male cry. The tears were happy tears, of course, but it was still an odd sight.

Mark's own eyes started to water as well. Johnny was like a brother to him and now that brother was getting married. Previously, Johnny had spoken about staying single forever and not getting "tied down," yet here he was. The man was squatting and roughly rubbing his tears at the view of his wife-to-be walking to him. Even through the constant flow of tears, he kept his focus of Y/N. Jaehyun laid a gentle hand on Johnny's back in a silent show of support, his face decorated with a smug grin. Mark already knew Jaehyun would bring this up again to tease Johnny in the near future.

A few sniffles were coming from the guests as well, mainly from people who were watching the groom break down.

Y/N finally reached the altar after what felt like eternity. She handed her bouquet to the maid of honor so she could help Johnny stand back up. Using the back of her hand, she wiped his tears and placed a peck on his cheek. From his spot on the side, Mark could hear her whisper that she loved him. Johnny whispered his own love in return. Y/N beamed at his words and gazed at him with pure adoration. Mark felt his eyes start to run.

The ceremony officially commenced with Taeil greeting the guests. He had agreed to officiate the wedding after getting a license to do so online. Johnny and Y/N had only graduated college a few months earlier, they couldn't afford to hire a professional yet. Having Taeil officiate the union only made it more special anyway.

The couple exchanged heartfelt marriage vows, drawing more stifled cries from the crowd. They practically oozed affection for each other. Mark heard Jaehyun sniffle before seeing him turn his head to not get caught. Mark giggles through his own tears; Jaehyun wouldn't be able to tease Johnny now.

The rest of the night was filled with more crying, laughing, and gazes overflowing with love. During the reception, everyone danced and drank. Johnny decided to make the playlist for the occasion himself, which made for a hilarious event. At some point, he danced so hard that he dropped an empty wine glass and it shattered. Y/N scolded him endlessly for being so hyper. In return, Johnny kissed her playfully. She immediately forgave him.

The night was magical. Mark got drunk with all of his friends and let loose. He drunkenly congratulated Johnny and Y/N multiple times. Johnny was entertained.

In Mark's inebriated mind, he decided that he wanted a relationship exactly like theirs.

Mark's breath caught in his throat.

Jackie stood at the entrance with her arm wrapped in her older brother's. Her hair was a bright pink that burned only slightly more intense than Mark's. He decided that shade was now his new favorite color. Her makeup was on the natural side and flaunted her natural beauty. With a deep breath, Jackie started walking.

Jackie's dress was a solid white that reminded Mark of a cloud on a summer day. It didn't have any lace or flowers on it, instead showing off a simple look that fit her personality well. The dress had a v-neck that mirrored the bridesmaids' and a wide waistband that matched the rest of the dress in the shade of white. The dress grazed the floor as Jackie sauntered down the aisle.

Jackie had a wide smile on her face, making Mark's heart skip a beat. He began rocking side to side, growing impatient waiting for his bride to reach him.

Mark's mind drifted back to Johnny. He thought back to how he nagged Johnny on his wedding day. Maybe he should have been more understanding.

Mark lightly shook his head, attempting to rid himself of those memories. He wanted to stay in the moment and enjoy watching his soulmate approach him.

Jackie could see the conflicting emotions all over Mark's face, she knew him like the back of her hand. She resisted the urge to frown and kept walking.

Mark looked back up to his bride as she stopped about 10 feet away. She kissed her brother's cheek as he unwrapped their arms and headed to his seat. Jackie turned her attention to Mark, closing the distance.

There she stood, only 2 feet in front of him. Mark's lips turned upwards subconsciously at the sight. Jackie returned the smile and blew an air kiss to him. The guests who caught the small exchange released small giggles. Jackie let out a chuckle. She spun around to pass off her bouquet to Abby who stood behind her.

Facing Mark, Jackie looked him in the eye and took a deep breath. Her hands subtly followed the motions of the air entering her body. Just from the expression on her face, Mark knew she was mentally instructing him to copy. He inhaled deeply then let it out.

Satisfied, Jackie held out her hands to grab. Mark connected his with hers and felt his heart stutter. His grandfather officially started the ceremony.

Mark stood next to the hospital bed. Unconscious, Johnny laid peacefully. Mark knew what was going to happen when he woke up and that knowledge almost made him wish Johnny would stay unconscious for as long as possible. Mark wiped his tears and took a shaky breath. He had finished heavily sobbing minutes earlier but he felt another fit coming at the thought of having to be the one to tell Johnny.

Mark's vision juggled between the bruises and scratches on the sleeping male and the wedding ring that decorated his finger for the previous 6 months. Johnny had a gash on his face the size of a bobby pin on his jaw that the doctor patched up. One eye was completely swollen, the other black. A dark purple blemish could be seen on his shoulder. The man's entire right leg was in a cast that was fashioned to a sling of sorts to keep it elevated.

Mark wanted to scream. This wasn't fair. Neither of them deserved this. Feeling himself getting emotional again, Mark stepped out the room into the hallway. There, he squatted and sobbed with his head between his knees. This was the 7th time he broke down since he received the call a few hours earlier.

"Mark?"

Said male glanced up from his spot to Yuta peering down at him. Yuta's eyes were similar to Mark's, alerting him that Yuta had also been crying.

"Is he awake?" Yuta asked weakly, his voice cracking with every word.

Not finding his voice, Mark shook his head as more tears raced down.

Yuta walked towards the room to see the unconscious male, patting Mark on the head on the way in.

From the hallway, Mark could hear Yuta break down. His weeps echoed through the entire hospital floor. Mark wanted to attempt to comfort Yuta but he knew that if he saw Johnny in that state again, he would be no help.

Over the next 2 hours, Jaehyun, Taeil, Doyoung, Taeyong, and Jungwoo came and joined Yuta around the bed. The cries increased with each new arrival.

Mark had yet to move from his spot in the hallway. Now he laid on his side, curled into a ball, not caring when anyone walked past. His eyes were swollen. His face was red. His throat was scratchy. But he had yet to run out of tears.

"Mark." Taeil gently tapped the male to gain his attention. "He's awake." He didn't wait for a response before going back to the room.

At those words, Mark slowly went to sit up. His body ached from shaking so much. Using his hoodie sleeve, he wiped his face again. He inhaled deeply, holding air a few seconds before letting it go. With unsteady legs, he stood to his feet and paused at the doorway.

All the men were crowded around the bed as Johnny gained consciousness. Mark drug his feet to an open spot next to Jungwoo.

Johnny had the black eye half open. He tried to open the other but ceased when a sharp pain shot through his skull. The resulting whine of pain stabbed Mark in his heart causing his fists to clench. The injured man attempted to sit up from his flat position releasing audible groans.

"Don't sit up," many worried voices commanded in near unison. Jungwoo lightly rested his hand on the man's chest to stop any further movement. Heeding to the order, Johnny allowed himself to return to his previous position.

A minute of silence passed.

"What happened?" The voice that broke the silence wasn't the one the boys' were used to hearing. It was weak. It was strained from pain. Johnny sounded about as horrible as he looked. Every word that passed his lips caused him to wince.

No one spoke. Mark could feel the tears growing. He knew he was going to break down once again. The man had cried so much that the back of his head felt tense. There was no way he could be the one to speak and tell his friend. He stared at Johnny's leg cast. This wasn't fair.

The other men were in similar situations, too emotional to tell the man. Jaehyun - who prided himself in being strong in all ways - couldn't udder a syllable. He instead kept his gaze on the heart monitor, ignoring the quiet tears falling from his eyes. Jungwoo was squatted with his hands covering his face, not caring how obvious his cries were. Yuta and Doyoung hadn't stopped looking at the floor since Johnny woke up, neither one wanting to see their friend in this condition. Taeyong's lip was shaking violently as he waited for someone else to please take the lead. Just this once.

It was Taeil who cleared his throat. He quickly swiped at his red eyes. Gathering all the strength required, he began, "There was an accident. You got into a car accident." All the false strength was displayed in his tone but he went on. "While you were turning, a truck hit your car. Someone called 911 and you were bought here."

Johnny's eyebrows furrowed as he took in what he just heard. As the information processed, he began to slowly scan the room. He saw all his friends but someone was missing. Someone very important. His question came out in a croak. "Where's Y/N?"

A wail sounded from Jungwoo.

Mark needed to leave the room. He couldn't be here for this part. His sneakers squeaked as he spun around to exit. He still had not run out of tears. He closed the door behind him. Returning to his spot in the hallway, Mark resumed his sobs. Falling to the floor, he held his knees and squeezed his eyes shut.

Over his fit, Mark couldn't hear the mumbling from the room. He didn't hear Johnny ask Taeil to repeat himself.

He did, however, hear Johnny's pained scream. He would never forget that sound. He heard Jaehyun finally let out his own sobs. He heard Johnny start to yell to see Y/N. Mark heard a crash and what sounded like the hospital bed shaking. He heard the others urgently call for a nurse. He heard Doyoung beg Johnny to stop and get back in bed. Mark's heartbeat increased.

What he heard next was the door slamming open. Raising his head, Mark saw Yuta run out the room down the hall in search of help. Through the now open door, he could see Johnny wailing on the floor. He used his arms to pull himself forward toward the door since one of his legs was useless. The man looked even worse now than when he first came to. His saline bag pole drug behind him as he crawled. The bed was now displaced by several inches.

Johnny's face was contorted into the most pain Mark had ever seen him in. The swollen shut eye was now visibly throbbing from the tears being trapped behind the enlarged eyelid. The older male's mouth was open but his teeth were clenched together. He shook with every sob he let out, but he kept his crawling constant.

The other men in the room were panicking. They yelled at Johnny to stop but none dared to lay a hand on him in fear of hurting him more. They stood in his path only to be cursed at or crawled around.

Mark was frozen staring at the man as he tried to leave, the visual burning into his memory. It was terrifying seeing him like this. Mark wanted to get up and help the others get Johnny back in bed but his body wouldn't allow it. He instead made eye contact with the male and cried in return.

As Johnny finally reached the threshold, several rapid steps were heard coming from the end of the hall. Mark's focus stayed on the desperate man. The source of the steps entered his vision.

Yuta ran into the room, followed shortly by 3 nurses and a doctor. The doctor went to straighten the bed and the saline stand while the nurses grabbed for Johnny's arms. The man fought them hard, throwing punches and even kicking with his cast to get them off. Eventually, they found a way to get a grip on him. The nurses lifted him off the ground to force him back on the remade bed.

Taeyong, Yuta, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo all stood against the walls to stay out of the medical staff's way. The men also were screaming but for the nurses to be gentle and for Johnny to stop fighting.

Taeil walked out the room to Mark's side. Like almost everyone else, Taeil was crying. His tears were especially heavy since he had to be the one to report what happened. He fell to the floor as well. Mark's eyes stayed glued on the commotion in the room despite how much he wanted to comfort the friend beside him.

Johnny tearfully pleaded for the nurses to let him go. He pleaded for them to let him see his Y/N again. Another pained screech ripped from his throat, then the pleading for death started. The kicking and punching had significantly weakened but continued on anyway.

The doctor left the room for a few seconds while the nurse kept Johnny pinned. She returned with a syringe in her hand. Quickly snatching off the cap, she held Johnny's arm in place to locate a vein. Finding what she needed, she cautiously inserted the needle into his arm and pressed the plunger slowly. She began to slide the needle out only to be interrupted by Johnny attempting to snatch his arm back. Letting the syringe stay in place a bit longer, the doctor focused on restraining the man.

Johnny's shouts slowly got quieter until they were just sleepy mumbles about seeing Y/N. He no longer was able to fight, allowing the hospital staff to let him go. The nurses went about fixing everything. They replaced the I.V. in Johnny's arm, placed his leg cast back in the sling, and reattached the heart monitor. By the time they were done and gone, Johnny was back unconscious.

Mark, Jungwoo, Jaehyun, Taeyong, Taeil, Yuta, and Doyoung stayed in the hospital room taking turns crying for their friend and his wife. They attempted to comfort one another only to break down later. Afterwards when they decided that some should go home, they took turns staying with Johnny so that he wouldn't be alone.

"Are you okay," Mark asked.

"No."

It had been a year since Johnny lost Y/N. In that year, Y/N had her funeral, was cremated, and Johnny limited his contact with everyone. Mark had talked to him a total of 9 times in that year, most of those conversations lasting less than 20 minutes.

Neither of the men spoke. Mark didn't know what to say. Johnny didn't have anything to say. It was obvious that Johnny didn't want to have this talk but Mark wanted to know how his friend was doing.

"Aren't you hungry? Let's get something to eat, bro." Mark grabbed the small menu on the table of the cafe. He was trying to spend as much time as possible with Johnny so he figured they could eat while catching up. The only reason he was able to convince him to come out was by blowing up his phone.

"No." Johnny wanted to go home. He appreciated Mark trying to check on him but he wasn't ready. He wasn't over Y/N and honestly, he didn't think he would ever be. He lost his soulmate.

Sighing, Mark sat the menu back down. It hurt to see his friend like this. "Haechan told me to tell you hey."

Johnny only nodded in return, though his sight never left the table.

The quietness was awkward.

Mark cleared his throat. The background ambiance flooded into the space Mark had hoped would be filled with conversation. He bit his bottom lip and scanned the room. There were families laughing, couples giggling, students studying; everyone appeared content except the man across from him. Y/N seemed to have taken that part of him with her.

Mark’s mind began to wonder. Would Y/N’s death affect Johnny as much if they had waited a while longer for marriage? Johnny would have just lost a girlfriend, something the male had had many of in the past.

“Do you regret marrying her?” The question came out softly. Mark felt horrible asking this but he wanted to know the answer.

Johnny was taken aback. What kind of question was that? He furrowed his brows and pressed his lips in a firm line. His stare turned to Mark. “No, I don’t. Why would you ask that,” he interrogated sternly. He held an angry undertone.

“I’m just asking,” Mark hurriedly defended, “I don’t like seeing you like this or ignoring all your friends trying to check on you.” Both of Mark’s hands raised slightly in defense.

“Even if I didn’t marry her, I still would be in love with her.” Johnny continued, “I wouldn’t trade that day for anything. If I could go back in time, the only change I would make is the accident.” He paused for a few seconds to play with his wedding ring. It hasn’t left his finger since his wedding day. “But if she was going to die anyway, at least she left with my last name.” He was now shaking. His voice cracked, “I miss her so much.”

Mark could tell that his friend was going to cry if he continued talking about his lost love.

“She was my soulmate. Sometimes, I wish I went with her.”

Mark’s heart dropped. “You don’t mean that, man. Y/N wouldn’t want you to think that.”

“I know but Mark, you don’t understand. When you meet the love of your life, you’ll get it. The thought of living without them will be painful. It’s easy to say that I shouldn’t have married her now, but I would have regretted not marrying her more. Back when I told you I was going to propose, you said that getting married was like cutting a piece of yourself to give to someone else. You were right. I gave her a piece of me but she was meant to have it. I’m happy she has it.” Johnny sighed, “Fall in love, Mark. You’ll understand.”

Mark understood. As he held Jackie’s hand in his, he understood.

He was terrified. He knew he was eventually going to lose her. He knew it was going to hurt him, possibly destroying him in the process. After she leaves, he could live the rest of his life without moving on. He could go on mourning until people mourn him, but as he stared into Jackie’s eyes, he knew it was worth it.

Even if Mark knew she would die tomorrow, today would not go any different. Bringing their clasped hands up to his lips, Mark placed a small kiss on them. After today, Jackie would have his last lame, something that would outlast both of them. That was enough for him.

Johnny was right.

Mark’s grandfather went about his lines, his voice thick with age. “We are gathered here to witness the union of Mark Lee and Jackie Garcia in holy matrimony. This is a day of great celebration, for married life - a shared life - is a blessing. As Mark and Jackie embark on this journey together, they’ll be able to nurture a love that makes them better versions of themselves.

“Mark and Jackie, on your journey together, my personal hope is that you 2 cherish each other for as long as you can. Love is effortless but marriage can be another story,” he let out a chuckle. The guests released small chuckles as well. Jackie lightly squeezed Mark’s hand to reassure him. “Love is patient and everlasting, not quitting even when times are hard. Marriage is meant to be a way to show others that love you share, something that will outlast everyone here. I hope that both of you will share this love even when the other expires.

“Mark and Jackie have chosen to write their own vows while trading rings.. With these words, they will each express their love and their promises to one another. With these rings, they will swear to keep those promises. If you are ready, you can start with your intentions to each other. Jackie, when you’re ready, you may begin.” Mark’s grandfather turned to the bride.

Jackie nodded to her grandfather-in-law, and nervously chuckled. “Okay.” Letting out a deep breath, she started out with shaky words. She recited the vows she had been memorizing for the last few weeks. She spoke of her love for Mark, brought up memories of their first meeting, and told of when Mark proposed to her. Jackie went on to list the promises she made to Mark. She promised to take care of him, to not get mad when he works longer than expected, to love him no matter what. Mark almost cried from the love-filled vows. Jackie released his hand to reach for the ring that was in her dress’s pocket. Slipping it on the man’s finger, she smiled the brightest Mark had ever seen.

“That was beautiful. Mark, when you’re ready.”

Johnny popped into Mark’s head again as Jackie rejoined hands. Johnny didn’t regret marrying Y/N. He was grateful for the time they did have. Johnny loved Y/N. Mark was sure that wherever he is, he still does.

Mark loves Jackie. He wants to spend the rest of their lives as husband and wife, no matter how long that may be. With that thought in mind, he started.

“Jackie. I love you so much,” Mark started simply. “You are my best friend, my partner in crime. When we first met, I thought you were,” Mark paused for comedic effect, “a lot.” The guests laughed a bit before quieting back down. “Who wouldn’t though? Your first words to me were ‘your hair is so fluffy, I’m gonna die.’ Now here we are, years later and you tell me the exact same thing everyday. You made me open up in a way I had been resisting, even to my closest friends. You pulled me out of myself. I was terrified of this day but being here with you, having my hands in yours just feels right. Being with you feels right. I want to feel this way the rest of both of our lives, no matter how long that is. That being said,” Mark detached his hands from Jackie’s to reach for the ring in his pocket. With the ring in hand, he held it between them.

“With this ring, I, Mark Lee,”

“With this ring, I, Johnny Seo,”

“cut you a piece of me.”

“Where you go, I will go too,”

“for you are now the start and end of me.”

“Without you, my soul will never be whole,”

“because you, Jackie Garcia, own the other half.”

“because you, Y/N L/n, own the other half.”

Mark gently caressed Jackie’s left hand to slip the ring on. Her eyes were watery but she threw her head back to prevent the tears from falling. Several sniffles could be heard from the guests as they also held back tears. An extra noticeable sniffle came from behind from Haechan, but Mark opted to ignore his cries in favor of watching his bride.

Mark’s grandfather sighed happily while patting Mark on the shoulder. His eyes displayed his wrinkles from smiling. “By the power vested in me. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss each other.”

Jackie did not hesitate to yank Mark by his hands to connect their lips. He melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around his wife. The guests let out the cheers they had been holding in since the beginning. Mark smiled against Jackie’s lips as he felt her start to cry. Pulling away slowly, Mark pecked her forehead and wiped her tears.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Lee!”

Mark and Jackie intertwined their fingers and faced all their guests who hadn’t ceased cheering for the newlyweds.

Mark knew he made the right decision.

“Mark got married today. I would have told you a while back when I got the invitation in the mail but I didn’t know if I was going. I went but I didn’t say anything to anyone and stayed in the back. Thankfully no one noticed. I would have just ruined the mood. He looked so happy. He's so in love, you should have seen it. He even used my vows to you.

“Do you remember our wedding day? How you were freaking out because most of the guests were from my side of the family while only your parents and grandma were on yours? You were scared that my family would think it was weird. I had to leave the altar just to comfort you!” Johnny let out a sad laugh at the memory.

The wind was blowing gently and the sun was setting quickly. The cemetery would be closing soon but Johnny wanted to talk to his love a bit longer. His fingers glazed her headstone. Y/N was cremated but Johnny needed something after he spread her ashes so here he was, talking to the headstone.

At the memory of the happiest day of his life, Johnny’s eyes grew moist. He continued with a broken voice, “I miss you, baby. I miss you so much. I haven’t been whole since you left. I can’t move on. I want to be with you.” The wind picked up slightly but Johnny could feel it.

“I know.” Johnny laid down to rest his head on the stone. “I know you don’t like when I say that. I’m sorry, my love.”

He stared at the falling sky in silence. He released a shaky breath and felt a tear fall.

“I love you, Y/N.”

#please give me feedback #this is basically just to practice writing #its easier for me when I'm not making people from scratch #idk what to tag #nct angst #nct scenarios #nct #nct mark angst #nct johnny angst #nct fanfic #nct 127 #nct dream #nct fanfiction #angst #thanks

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benisasoftboi · 4 years ago

Text

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel I:

So I did like it overall, but I have a lot more criticisms of it than I did of the previous games

Which also means I have way more to say!

Tl;dr - Rean Schwarzer, Estelle Bright you are not

Also, spoiler warning for both this game and the previous ones

So... the pacing in this was weird. Like I loved all the field study segments, they were SO fun, but there’s also the Trista segments between which very boring and felt like filler

I think it’s meant to make the ending feel more important, since you’re defending the school, but it kind of backfired because being forced to run around Thors (which is not a very interestingly designed location, by the way) over and over and over again actually made me kind of resent it. To a point where I low key wanted the ILF to destroy the school. Oops

Like I cared about Liberl and Crossbell because they were interesting, and big, so I never really got tired of them. I got tired of Trista very quickly

Also having everyone in school uniform made their designs less interesting :/

The other places were all super interesting, though! I think if I had to pick a favourite I’d say Bareahard, but they’re all contenders really

Oh also the other issue with the structure was that everyone had to be mad at someone at all times, and it was almost comical how systematic it was - Rean and Alisa don’t get on, that’s resolved, now let’s focus on how Machias and Jusis don’t get on, that’s resolved, IMMEDIATELY we’ll replace that with Fie and Laura, then the moment that’s resolved it’s Jusis and Milliam...

Like, be a little less formulaic in your character conflict

Anyway, characters!

I do not like the thing where the character’s name appears in front of them before they say it. It was irritating

Elliot: The one I would have been in love with when I was eleven. Elliot is good and sweet and did nothing wrong ever. Holy Song is the most useful craft in the whole goddamn game. He also has easily the best S-Craft in a game where most of the S-Crafts are *decidedly* lackluster, aesthetically speaking. I like Elliot. His friendship with Gaius is also very nice

Jusis: The one I would have been in love with when I was fourteen. So, the moment I saw Jusis, my immediate first thought was ‘oh, this guy is one half of a gay ship’. I had no clue who the other guy was going to be, but I knew there was absolutely no way that Anime Draco Malfoy wasn’t getting shipped with a man.

And then Machias opened his mouth, and... every franchise, no matter what, has its gay OTP (its homoTP, if you will) - that one, usually M/M, but sometimes F/F, ship that’s practically got a whole side-fandom just for itself. Up until now, I assumed Trails’ was going to be Olivier/Mueller - but while I haven’t checked, because I don’t want spoilers, I will be shocked if these guys aren’t actually it. They have every making - opposites attract, enemies to lovers, they sing together, other characters make jokes about it...

Like, this was deliberate, surely? Surely?

yes i ship it but like, against my will and resentfully and semi-ironically, because I hate myself for instinctively taking the bait >:(

Something something ‘Turbo-Gehenna’ joke

Anyway, I like Jusis. I think he’s a fun character, easily the most interesting of the boys, and I really enjoyed his development. He has a cute smile

I also thought he had the best voice acting in Class VII, so I looked it up and Ben Diskin! I love Ben Diskin! I couldn’t even tell, I had no idea his range was that great, wow!

I did think it was extremely weird that if you invite him to the Stella Garten, he says he wants to date a woman who is ‘like his mother’. Okay, Jusis.

Machias: The one I would have been in love with when I was seventeen. You ever meet someone who’s like... always right, really, but in such an obnoxious way that you wish they weren’t. Machias. He would have been way more interesting if he was just a really politically minded teen who needed to learn tact, rather than yet another member of the Trails Dead Family Member Club (the fact that it was revealed right after Elliot’s Dead Family Member Club story did not help). Still, he really did grow on me in the end. He’s a little dork

Gaius: The one I would be in love with now, if not for the fact that he’s only seventeen and thus a little baby in my eyes. I do love his design the most. Can he say even one line that’s not about the wind, though? I also like that he’s one of very few characters in this franchise to not have a tragic backstory, was very refreshing.

I can only assume, therefore, that Nord will undergo ethnic cleansing in Cold Steel II

Crow: oh boy Crow hahahahahaha. I don’t know how I feel now. Uhhhh... what did ‘the things I do for love mean’? I am curious

Alisa: I don’t like tsunderes much, and I found her ‘being mad at Rean for something that was absolutely not his fault’ thing very, very stupid and it did not endear me to her at all (also, like, if you had to have that - a better way would have been for him to accidentally injure her, rather than... ugh, look, I am a woman with large breasts - accidents really do happen irl. There’s no point in getting that mad about it. There just isn’t. I have no patience for this kind of plot). It also bothered me how possessive of Rean she got, I swear I picked Towa over her half out of spite. I don’t hate her, though, to be clear - I loved her plot with her mother and that scene in Nord. And her relationship with Ferris! She’s great when she’s not talking about Rean, basically

I don’t buy her as Rean’s love interest, honestly. Rean consistently shows more attraction to Emma, and has more (mandatory/canon) moments with Towa. It only felt one-sided to me

Laura: I like Laura a lot. I don’t really have anything to say about her, just that she was consistently good, and I appreciated her maturity and self awareness, I love her and Rean being sword bros, she’s just great

Fie: I think Fie was designed to appeal to exactly me personally. Tiny snarky badass girl with a great design? That’s everything I love and aspire to be! Best girl in the game (didn’t date her though because she’s fifteen and I refuse to date anyone who is younger than the protagonist when I play games set in high schools. Feels weird enough dating teens the same age as my character. Also she had 0 romantic chemistry with Rean)

Millium: She’s fine, good voice acting, want to know more about Lammy, no strong feelings

Towa: I wasn’t going to date anyone, but changed my mind because I really liked Towa... and then I looked at her, and saw a tiny girl with long, light brown hair and soft voice, and realised I just want to date myself

I checked, and according to Playstation Trophies, at least, she’s the least picked girl? The only characters picked less than her are the non-Crow boys (Machias is the least popular, which... I feel a little mean for finding hilarious lol)

Emma: I like Emma herself just fine. Don’t get me wrong. But she’s infuriating as a mystery character, because she’s the worst kind of mystery - the kind that relies on the other characters to NEVER AT ANY POINT ASK THE QUESTIONS THAT A NORMAL HUMAN WOULD ASK

Estelle would have asked

Rean has multiple opportunities to ask her to explain herself, and he doesn’t! One time, she straight up ASKS HIM TO ASK, and he doesn’t! That’s not mysterious anymore! That’s just incredibly annoying!

Lloyd would have asked

And no one else asks either! Some of them, fine - I can understand say, Elliot or Gaius or Millium - but Jusis!? Jusis, who has been there for pretty much all of her mysterious vague magic, and has repeatedly shown himself to be willing to be kind of rude, and may not be that interested in other people but certainly isn’t stupid - while they’re in the Schoolhouse Depths, Jusis isn’t going to grab Emma by the shoulders and demand she explain what she knows? He’s just going to go with it as she refuses to elaborate on things?

Really?

Kevin would have - actually, no, Kevin would have already known because Kevin Knows All, but he would have told everyone else, so same outcome

Rean: And that brings me to Rean. Rean... is a JRPG Protagonist. He is good, and noble, and he gives Inspiring Speeches, and he can date all the girls (which means we don’t really get any interesting opposite-gender friendships, because oh no, a threat to the harem!), and he is so, so boring. My god

Hey remember how I praised Sky for how great it was to have Estelle be an actual person with flaws and personality? No you don’t, no one’s reading all of these, but yeah - Estelle is just as colourful and full of life as the rest of Sky, while Rean is the least interesting character in Cold Steel no contest

Oh he has a super powered dark side, oh, well, that’s a game changer, never seen that before except in every 2000s shounen anime. Also we never actually learn the Super Rean rules, so that dramatic moment where he’s thinking about transforming to fight Scarlet isn’t actually that dramatic because I had never realised it could kill him until he said so in that moment

Oh except he’s also an awakener and can summon a Persona giant mecha suit! Because he’s the most special boy to be very special? I have never seen that in a JRPG before except in all of them

In Sky, Estelle wasn’t special. Except she was, but it wasn’t because she had super awesome secret awesome powers and all the boys liked her best. It was because she was flawed, but always trying, and because she was incredibly brave and optimistic no matter what, and because she was the kind of person who told a god summoning evil mastermind ‘lol no’ and then beat him with a stick, and because she really, believably loved her friends. She loved them. And they loved her. Not the player she was the avatar of. Estelle herself

Estelle Bright has ruined me for all other JRPG protagonists, is what I’m saying

Oh also Rean has that whole speech about how they can’t cancel the festival to protect people from an unknown threat, that’s not fair to meeeeee, and as someone who has lived through the year 2020 - go to Gehenna, Rean

Olivier is back!!! And yeah I’m going to keep calling him that, that’s who I know him as, and also Olivert is a silly name

Even more importantly, Mueller is back!!! And he and Olivier still have the best comedy dynamic in the series, joyous day! THAT is love and peace, baby!

Sara really, really grew on me :) I want to see her interact with Schera so bad

I didn’t really like Sharon up until I worked out OH SHE’S OUROBOROS, because yessssss more of them! Also, yessss, guessed it!

Angie... predatory lesbian stereotype aside, Angie’s super interesting and I want to see more of her yes please

George is like, the most inoffensive character I’ve ever seen, but apparently he has haters? What!?

What is with these games and naming characters/things French words, and then PRONOUNCING THEM WRONG

I do not care that the official pronunciation is ‘Blue Blanc’. I will continue to pronounce it ‘Bleu Blanc’. Because that’s what you guys actually wrote, Christ alive

I have a French GCSE and I will use it for something, goddamnit

I took Jusis on the bike trip and he looked so adorably goofy in the little sidecar. Best moment of the whole damn game for me

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have played this game first, as I know a lot of people did. Specifically in regards to Olivier (or Olivert, I guess)

Like... imagine meeting this guy for the first time as a fairly serious leader of an important faction, participating in vital political machinations. Imagine meeting him here and not knowing about the Grand Chardonnay incident. Imagine not knowing about that time he stopped a riot by riding up in a boat and singing. Imagine not knowing he has a rivalry of aesthetics with a terrorist. Imagine not knowing what I was referring to when I said ‘that’s love and peace, baby’ just now

Incomprehensible

Side note, if you had told me, on one of those warm August days when I was first playing Sky FC, that the silly man in the white coat was actually one of the most important characters in the franchise, I would not have believed you for a second

But on that subject, I was also trying to work out who a first time player would be siding with... like, I’ve played Sky and experienced Zero (currently working way through Azure as well), which means that my immediate reaction to all of Erebonia’s politics was ‘trust whatever Olivier and the bracers say, don’t trust anyone else’. But someone starting with Cold Steel has no reason to have loyalties to those factions, so I’m curious

Side note, having played the previous games also massively impacted how I viewed the ILF - I’m very confident that I would have just taken them being evil for granted if I’d played this first, but considering they hate Osbourne... and Olivier does not like Osbourne... that kind of made me a lot more suspicious of who I was really meant to side with

I really liked most of the NPCs in this. I especially became weirdly fond of Beryl

However, I do now also have characters I actively dislike, a series first! Gwyn (creepy old man), Neithardt (sexist jerk, kick his arse Beatrix), and Dorothee (...could write a whole essay on the myriad reasons I do not like that particular archetype) get in the bin

Good god, every interaction between Rean, Emma and Dorothee made me want to smack the lot of them with my controller, Dorothee for being an absolute creep, and Rean and Emma for overcorrecting into low key homophobia (seriously Rean, you’re friends with a lesbian, the idea of the existence of gay men should not shock you this much)

Re: Elise... I heard the words ‘non-blood related younger sister’ and my eyes rolled so far back in my head I was afraid they wouldn’t come back down

Took me a while to figure out, but ideal team is Elliot, Jusis, Machias, with Laura and Fie as back-up

I would like to find whoever’s idea it was to make the S-Crafts unlock as the game progresses rather than just be there when you get the character, and shake them until they apologise. Have them evolve with the story, sure, but not having them at all wrecks the battle flow so much. Emma was unusable to me until chapter-goddamn-FIVE

I loved the Annabelle subplot, and the punchline that the person her family wanted to marry her off to was a Lakelord... I actually yelled

The concert was so hyped, and then there weren’t even any real songs (aside from the re-use of the end credit song from Sky, which made me very happy. And Olivier singing along made me laugh out loud)

TOVAL IS TOBY!?!?!

Man I’m so mad at myself for not reading Carnelia in/after FC (read it in 3rd), but still - what a reveal!

AND WHAT AN ENDING

I mean. At first

They did such a good job building the tension, and then-

The Crow twist, my GOD, when I tell you I freaked the fuck out... I was totally convinced that it was Claire. Or possibly Campanella on stilts. I completely overlooked that there was another major character with a C name, and honestly I’m glad I did because I have not been this shocked by a reveal in a while

And then I stopped taking it seriously when I saw the robots with heelys

It was all.. we had a very final boss-y final boss, right? Excellent final boss fight, very fun, very satisfying. And then the game just... kept going. I accidentally stayed up until 4 AM because I thought I was at the end and it just didn’t stop

And then it did. Very, very abruptly

(no seriously I was making some snarky comment about how goofy the flying robot suits look and then the game just ENDED, what)

(also worst *actual* final boss I’ve ever seen. the fact that they managed to make a battle between two giant robots, one of which was controlled by a traitorous former friend, feel like an anticlimax... that was impressive, honestly)

So Cold Steel I is... easily my least favourite Trails game so far. Again, I did like it, but like I say... Rean isn’t Estelle Bright. And that’s pretty much my main problem, in the end

Sorry, Class VII

OH MY GOD they never explained why it’s Class VII and not Class VI! My theory is that it’s either something about the Sept-Terrions, or the Seventh Division, since Olivier’s specifically connected to them. Or maybe both

Well - I’m excited to find out!

#long post #trails series #trails of cold steel #trails of cold steel 1 #kiseki series #erebonia arc

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