#like u know what's weird is that even though i like all of these i also don't identify really with any of the characters
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
THIS CAME TO ME IN MY DREAM... CAN YOU MAKE A STORY ABOUT THE READER BEING NANAMI'S LITTLE SISTER AND GOJO HAS A CRUSH ON HER OR SMTH IDK 🤭🤭🤭
A/N: Gojo art credits go to @tayatimiko
GOJO that jumps in his seat startled af, eyes wide as saucers behind his blind fold when come up from behind and cover em w/ both hands. "Baby, why haven't u called me back? It's so lonely in my mansion." You quote, a sensual whisper in his ear. He jumps to his feet, bumpin into his desk clumsily, offering a nervous chuckle at ur joke. "Hey, y/n.. Was just omw out. Sorry. I Gotta, um.. Uhh, u know-," Stutters some lame excuse and flees the classroom. Just like he does whenever u catch him alone after hours. "What the actual fuck?" 🤨 Fuckin guy's been actin strange lately. Like even for Satoru's weird ass. You've been tryin to get him alone to talk about but it's as if he can't stand to be in the same room with u. Refuses to look at u more than a few seconds and its drivin u too the damn brink.
GOJO that's always been like kin to u. But you're not fuckin blind, how could you not notice the skyscraper is sex onna stick? Soiled 💦 plenty of ur pretty panties just from lookin at his pretty face. But he swats away ur school girl crush without a thought. As Nanami's lil sis, Satoru insisted on treating u like a sibling. But ur older now. And what u don't know is.. He can't deny you've grown into a lovely young woman. Smart, compassionate, brave. And GAWD, don't even let him start thinkin bout that fuckin body..
GOJO is startin to feel like a super creep cause he can't stop his filthy mind from day dreaming albout you, no matter what he's doin. Ur soft curly mane, shape of ur beautiful y/e/c eyes, curve of ur cute nose. The softest plush full lips.. They'd def feel otherworldly wrapped around his- 👄👅🍆"Fuuuck, baby, don't stop.." Satoru groans, abruptly wakin himself up from the lusty dream starring u. Scrubs at his tired features and glances at the alarm clock. 12:37 am. "Dammit, ma.. Can't even sleep without u on my mind." Spends the rest the night tossin and turnin, tryin to erase the vision of u gaggin on his cock from his pervert brain.
GOJO no longer believes in relieving his stress if it isn't inside of u, basically becomes a born again virgin. Really thinks the amount of nut he's savin for u gave him hyperspermia and now every time he cums, it can literally fill buckets. Even worse he just start havin the most intense nocturnal emissions. Though his body feels like it's on cloud 9, it's startin to get aggravating, goin to sleep w/ u on his mind only to wake up to his dick dischargin like a automatic. "Shitshitshit! Nooo, not again." Satoru stares at his inflated cock swelling fatter in disbelief, energy burstin from him uncontrollably when he spasms, whimpering for u again and again as the temple starts to tremble, cracks tearing through the foundation. "Y/n, baby, fuuuck- I need u! Ohhplease, be mine.. Jus lemme feed that pussy this big fat load. Please honey, 's all for u, all for -nghh.. ah, ah, ah, can't stop! I can't stop cummin for u baby." The lastest dirty delusional demo 🍆🍩 of u cloggin his brain and he's so helpless, grippin the thick throbbing base of his shaft tight, trying to stop the overwhelming flow, gut compressin as the next spurt shoots even harder. An detrimental earthquake cracks through the surrounding streets but Satoru's too busy cryin and shakin. "Oh fuck, I can't take it! T-too good, too much.. haaah! 'M gonna die, pleeease! Stopstopstop- no! Wanna stuff u princess, such a waaaste.." Delrious ass sweatin bullets while his nut shoots high in the air, splatter audible when it rains back down all over his face and chest. But he just sloppily jerks at his dick, head saggingon his pillow as he attempts to wring himself dry, nut coating his slender knuckles in the yummiest glaze. "H-help me sweet girl- ohhh y/nnn.." Can't stop gaspin ur name, thrashin in his king size bed, the last of his ooey gooey nut cascading down his dick and balls as thunder crashes up above, lightning hailing across the sky like electric arrows before a random bolt slices through the adjoining building. Fuck.. Yaga's definitely gonna be pissed.
GOJO despises staying away from u and misses the fuck outta ur clingy ass. Craves how u used bake him his favorite sweet treats when he came over, yummy body bangin in ur sports bra and lil cotton shorts. Backing it up on him, reachin back to grip his neck, twerking all on him to the nastiest playlist. Or how u used to slide to his place unannounced, usually watchin as he laid on his tummy and rocked out on the ps5 in only a pair of black briefs. You'd always sit on his naked back, playin in his hair, massagin the weeks tension out his broad shoulders as he shouted obscenities at his teammates, only pausing to groan in satisfaction at ur talented fingers. Satoru can still feel the heated print of ur cushy tush 🍑 and chubby puss 🍪 molded to his spine. Had to will his away his nut countless times as he laid atop a fat boner, tryin to concentrate on the game and not moan like a whore when u squish ur front to his back and hug him tight. "Yay, good job Toru, u won!" Ur weight puttin the most delicious pressure on his dick. Feels so slutty rememberin how the smallest softest kiss to the back of neck had his eyes glazing over, teeth diggin into his bottom lip as nut pours from his flushed slit.
GOJO can't accept his crush on his good friends lil sis. Needs space from u since he can't pin ur feet behind ur ears and slurp ur cunt till he's full, so he decides to be a grade A dick. "Y/n, we need ta talk." Folds his long arms and shakes his head when u stomp ur foot and throw a hissy 😡 after he says u can't come on missions w/ him and Nanami anymore under pretenses that he just tryin to keep u safe. "Seriously Toru? U been ignorin me for how long? No reason, not a text or call. Now this shit?" Lean frame reclined against the schools entrance doors beside ur perplexed brother, kissable lips thinning dramatically. Pussy ofcourse is lookin anywhere but u. "'M not gettin into all that, y/n. Lets jus keep it professional since we're at work, yeah?" Nanami quirks a blonde brow, so sick and tired of the odd tension. "Gojo, it's fine. Y/n's got us. It's never been a problem before. We can-," ur brother tries to interject but Satoru huffs and storms off without another word. "Just stay this once. I'll talk to him." Ur bother squeezes u in a quick hug when ur eyes tear w/ frustration, kissing the top of ur head before jogging after the idiot.
GOJO feels bad when Nanami scolds him the next day about makin u cry. "U were an absolute terror yesterday. More than usual. I don't care why. U need to fix this Satoru. Whatever it takes." Satoru is exasperated af atp. Wholeheartedly doubts ur brother knows what he's saying. He can't even be in ur presence w/ out wondering what ur perfect tits would feel like in his mouth. 🤤 "Look.. We just need.. Space rn. Its nothin." Nanami slits his eyes, poppin Satoru in the back of the head. "I'm not an idiot, like u. Can't just ignore how she feels bout u.. How u feel about eachother." Satoru definitely engages his infinity, always expectin this convo w/ ur brother to be rather unpleasant. "How long have u known?" "How long have u loved her?" Satoru's stumped. So he's not as subtle as he believes? Shocker. 😮 "Longer than I care to admit rn. Kento.. It'll change everything." Nanami nods slow. "Just don't hurt her."
GOJO that's the one who ends up hurt when he arrives to the school for class but sees u trainin real up close and personal with the new instructor. The fucker 🖕🏽is all in ur grill, leanin his weight into u as he helps u "stretch". Feelin up ur thighs while pressin ur leg above ur head, his bulge pokin dangerously close to the center between ur legs. "How's that feel, sweetheart? Not too bad right?" Its a dagger to his heart 😭that ur all smiles and giggles. Satoru doesn't even realize he's shoved em off u, wailing on the guy over and over. "Fuckin bastard! Swear if u EVER fuckin touch what's mine again, I'll rip ur fuckin arms off!" Pummels him to a pulp and the fuckin loser is unconscious by the 2cnd punch but he doesnt stop. "Satoru, stop! Ur gonna kill him!" Which he wouldn't have realize if it weren't for u usin the cursed technique u share w/ Nanami, the precise hit blastin him back so hard Satoru has to dig his nail into the ground to catch his footing. U gaze at eachother in the longest stare down, tense af, chests heaving, both brewing with fiery burst of cursed energy. Thoughts racing a hundred miles per minute and Satoru just can't take this shit no more. Teleports inches away, yankin u to him w/ both hands on ur ass and smotherin u inna a hungry demanding kiss. But ur still pissed, pushin him back before slappin him across the face. "I should rip UR fuckin arms off for thinkin u could ghost me then slide thru to defend my honor!" Feelin a bit of justice as he rubs his pink cheek. "I know, I'm sorry y/n. I-," But u interrupt him with another hard smack. "Just.. Shut up, dummy. Dick first, talk later." You snarl, dragging him to his office by his uniform collar.
#all readers#all welcome#all women are beautiful#black reader#black fanfiction#black writer#jjk angst#angst smut#cumming untouched#nocturnal emissions#gojo smut#gojo x chubby reader#satoru gojo x black y/n#gojo x black y/n#gojo x black reader#satoru x black y/n#satoru x black!fem reader#satoru x black reader#satoru gojo x black!reader#satoru gojo x black reader#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#smut#dirty talk#gojo x reader
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
ok idk if u have done this before but what abt low honor arthur x shy/easily flustered reader…been thinking abt this for awhile
lowhonor arthur x shy female reader
꒰ 𝝑𓏲 ꒱ arthur is a little pervy , suggestive themes?
he was terrifying, mean, and even sadistic man. those rumoured whispers explained a lot about him in that way. there was no remorse from a man like him, no mercy, either. to be one of the worst men that's involved with the infamous gang. the most wanted man within the states, there wasn't a day that he didn't come back with someone's blood on his hands.
he was disgusting and vile. probably the most perverted man u have ever come across, too. his unannounced touching would often catch u off guard. the women in the camp always gave him a sort of a dirty or death state, knowing that kind of man arthur is now ever since the relationship ended between him and mary. that took a toll on him more than people thought.
not with u, though. he knew that gaze made u feel uneasy, made u squirm, almost like a coyote watching its prey. it's like he enjoyed it, too. u weren't the social butterfly. u kept to urself or the small group of girls u would do chores with or u would be often see talking the only man, arthur. to be honest, u were even sure how he felt about u, it's not like many spoke to u.
he made the man stay away from u, but that's a different conversation...
u didn't even need to turn around, knowing who it was coming towards u by their hard footsteps. “hey, babydoll. missed my favourite girl while i was away.” he says with that cocky smirk on his face, leaning against the pole behind u, totally not looking at ur rear while u hand washed some clothes.
“hi morgan, I've been okay.. keepin' busy like-” “good girl. as y'should be. wouldnt want ms. grinshaw gettin' mad atcha.”
she was a terrifying woman, ms. grinshaw.. but not as terrifying as arthur, of course. he was the worst. but arthur liked her a lot. he wasn't sure how to tell, and so he often showed her through his actions... like his weird, perverted touching and words.
he told u to come here, and once u were finished cleaning, of course, u made ur way over to him before he took u round the wagon, no one was there. this was strange but u did sort of like him.. u didn't know why. he was always odd with u, but u did find a small sense of comfort in him every time he brings a small gift to u as he comes back to camp.
“have i ever told ya how pretty y'look? 'course i have.." he says, his tone laced with roughness. his big hand soon glides down to ur waist, gripping the flesh so hard that it light leave a mark later, curse him.
“thank you, arthur-” u reply, feeling ur face rise with heat, squirming slightly under his intense gaze, all embarrassed. “y'know what else would make ya prettier? some little hickeys on yer neck, my girl.”
was he being honest?... well, of course he was. he was a very serious man, not the type to be funny unless it was one of sick jokes. anyway, he could do not that, the two of u were in camp! someone might see u both, ms. grinshaw might catch u or even dutch! and that woukd be a lot more embarrassing than how red ur face is right now.
“arth- we cant, i- we'll get caught- arthur!” ur gentle protests mean nothing as he took a hold of ur wrists, making u back up against the wagon. he inhaled ur scent of lavender and pine, made the man almost crazy.
“lemme mark ya up, so everyone can see how I feel 'bout ye. c'mon sugar, i might be gentle but dont count on it.”
god it was like u couldn't move or couldn't talk, u didn't know what to say, how to react. ur face was all flushed with his words, it wasn't a surprise that he'd be flirting with u now.
and soon, he began toying with the collar of ur blouse. soon that felt to unbutton the top few buttons before he inched closer to mark u up.
#🎀reqsೀ#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#red dead redemption#rdr#arthur morgan rdr2#arthur morgan x you#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan x female reader#rdr fanfic#rdr fic#rdr fanfiction#rdr2 fanfiction#rdr2 fanfic#rdr community#rdr2 community
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ sailor song, one. ་༘🌊࿐
masterlist 。𖦹°‧ welcome page 。𖦹°‧ series masterlist
── ‧₊ ᵎᵎ pairing: jj maybank x reader
── ‧₊ ᵎᵎ sypnosis: after your best friend sarah and his new pogue boyfriend get lost at sea, you find comfort in the only person who understands you. and weirdly, that person is a pogue, the jj maybank.
── ‧₊ ᵎᵎ warnings: language and mentions of alcohol
── ‧₊ ᵎᵎ author's note: yeah, this is my way of coping. i miss the man. anyways lmk if u like it or if u have any ideas for the next chapters!
────🫐────
“Oh, shit, my bad,” The blond boy whispers after colliding with you, all your books dropping to the ground. You look up and see him, the tall blond pogue rarely present at school. You nod and walk past him, not paying much attention. It wouldn’t be a good thing to be seen with him and his friends, especially after Sarah and the Routledge guy’s death.
Everybody’s going through it. The Camerons have been grieving in their… own ways. Rafe, the eldest child of the Camerons has not been seen in days. Someone said they’d seen him smoking weed in his dealer’s backyard. Guess his sister’s death made him hit rock bottom.
And as for her new pogue boyfriend, John B, no one cares. No one knew him other than his few friends, one of them being the old kook Kiara Carrera. Well, they’re like a weird cult always up to some shit. They’ve chosen their place.
The missing posters have been up for a while. No one really believes it, they couldn’t have survived a storm like that. You’ve been trying to handle it. In your room for days, thinking about the empty spaces your best friend Sarah would fill. Thinking about how she’d gotten distant the past few days. Not telling you where she was going, not telling you about the new guy. You blamed yourself for it. Maybe if you’d tried to talk to her more a few days before she died, she wouldn’t have gone with him.
When the thoughts get too loud during English class, you excuse yourself and leave. You walk through the hallways and outside the school, sitting on a nearby bench. No one said a word to you. No one said you were allowed to grief too. Like you weren’t her best friend. Were you?
You take a deep breath and look around, making sure no one saw you leave school grounds. That’s when you see him again. The blond boy.
He walks out of school as well, looking around and spotting you. He scoffs, and as much as he tries to find a way to avoid you, you’re sitting on the only bench that’s out here. He slowly walks over. “Can I sit-?” He says and you nod. “Yeah. Go ahead.” You say and look away, pulling your legs into your stomach, hugging your calves.
He sits down as far away on the bench from you as possible, taking a deep breath. A few minutes of silence go by. “I heard you were her friend.” He says, breaking the silence.
“What?” You whisper, surprised he would actually talk to you. “I said I heard you were Sarah’s best friend.” He repeats, looking at you this time. He looks… decent.
“Yeah. I was.” you say, looking away from him. “That was before your friends showed up, though.” You say and roll your eyes. He nods, his lips pressing together.
“We didn’t do shit. She wanted to join us, so she did.” He says defensively. “Well, she got dragged into all the criminal stuff that you do. She didn’t know what type of people you were.” I say, sitting straight. I have the time today.
“John B did not kill Peterkin.” He says frowning. “Sure, he didn’t.” You say and he frowns again. “I’m being serious. He did not.”
“You think I’m just gonna believe you because you said so? What even was your name again?” I say and roll my eyes. Yes, exactly the way I imagined a pogue to be. “No, but I’m saying that you’re judging without getting to know us.” He pauses for a second, almost like he’s pondering if he should say or not. “I’m JJ. JJ Maybank.”
Oh, JJ Maybank. With the dad. He works for your father. Or maybe worked. Poor guy was definitely an addict.
“I know your dad.” You blurt out, and the way his face falls tells you you hit a sore spot. You look away. “He… he worked for my dad.” You elaborate, looking down at your shoes.
A few moments pass by and when you turn to look at him again, he’s off the bench, walking away. You frown, watching him walk away. Weird. Why’d he just walk away like that?
You sigh and look ahead into the trees in front you. The back of the school where the students have done everything. A few minutes later, a voice startles you again. “Hey, sorry, I was…”
You jump, letting out a low gasp as you sit up straighter. “What the fuck, Maybank? I thought you left and then you…” You say before he stretches his hand out, a necklace in his palm. Your eyes widen as you notice what it is. The S necklace. With Sarah’s initial on it.
“We found this at the chateau. The chateau is… um, our place, kind of. She’d left it there.” He says as you shakily take it from him.
“We didn’t force her into anything…” “Shut up, Maybank.” You say as you put the necklace around your neck. “Just… I don’t wanna hear it.”
He nods, taking a deep breath as he takes a step back, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m just being nice, Kook.” Oh, now he’s getting sassy. You roll your eyes, unwrapping your arms from around your legs and letting your feet touch the ground as you stand up. “Yeah, well, you could’ve been nice by saving her before she was dead.” I roll my eyes as I grab my backpack, throwing it over my shoulder. You’re mad at everyone and everything. You’re mad at Sarah for leaving you here, and you’re mad at being neglected. She was your best friend. And the moment she left, suddenly she was everyone else’s.
“Wait.” JJ’s voice cuts through your thoughts and your feel your heart ache. The few soft streams of light have found their way from in between trees and leaves onto his blond hair and blue eyes and you take a deep breath, mentally shaking yourself. Stop.
“We both lost our best friends. If there’s anyone who knows what you’re going through, it’s me. Yeah, I don’t like you and you don’t like me. But… be decent.” He nods, as if he wants you to agree. Your hands tighten on the straps on your backpack and you nod after a second. “I… Yeah. Sure. I… I’m Y/N.”
“Yeah, okay.” He nods, running a hand through his hair. “I know who you are.” You tear your gaze away from him and take deep breaths until you get inside. The moment you get inside the school bathroom, tears are rolling down your face and you let out quiet sobs, turning to the bathroom and kicking a bathroom door open, walking in and locking door. Her necklace around your neck feels like it’s choking you, and you press your palms against your temples, tears running down your cheeks and neck.
How long is it gonna feel like this?
────🫐────
#outer banks#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x you#jj maybank#outer banks fic#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank headcannons#obx fanfiction#jj obx#jj outer banks
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
law x male reader sfw stuff idc what u write i just want law
Your Beauty is Pain.
Trafalgar D. Law x Male!Reader
It's time for checkup! Why was he nervous for you? Law isn't handling his feelings for one of his recruits during his checkup well...
Law had a problem.
Truly, he didn't think that whatever his feelings were was that much of a big deal. That was....until this very moment.
As the Captain, he likes to do annual checkups for his crewmates since he wants to make sure they were all healthy which they mainly were. They had a crewmate that was fairly new but had been in the crew for a few months.
This crewmate was adorable and it was painful with how cute he was.
He was tapping his pen on his clipboard as he waited for him.
'Maybe I can say the checkups are done til tomorrow...' The dark-haired male thought to himself as he looked at his clipboard, Y/N hadn't arrived yet but they had a tendency to be a few minutes late even on the same boat. 'He isn't-'
His thoughts were cut off by the sound of the door knocking and he slightly jumped before sighing, he spoke too soon.
"Come in, L/N..."
The (H/C) haired male stepped into the room before closing the door behind him, "Captain, I said you can call me by my first name! You don't need to call me by my last name." he responded.
Law rolled his eyes while the taller/smaller male moved to sit on the examination table.
"How you want me, Cap?" Y/N asked him and tilted his head at the look he gave him. "For my checkup? Do you want to check my mouth, my ears?"
He didn't know what look was on his face though the other man was smiling brightly at him, it genuinely hurt to see the taller/smaller man smiling like that. It gave him a weird feeling in his stomach and he had no idea how he was feeling about it, what was this feeling?
"Uhhhh, Captain...?'
The Captain got lost in thought before his crewmate had snapped him out of it, he hadn't realized that he gotten so lost in thought for a moment.
He noticed that his own palms were sweating which confused him since he never felt like this.
This feeling was very weird and he didn't like it one bit.
Law coughed as he shook his head out of the mere thoughts. "Nothing- let's get back to the checkup." he muttered as he got to work.
Y/N giggled slightly at his Captain's flustered face but understood completely.
After awhile, the checkup was done and Law could finally relax when Y/N left the room so he could be by himself. Except, the (H/C) haired male wasn't leaving yet which he didn't understand since he dismissed the other.
"You...are free to go." The dark-haired male ordered, making sure that his back was to the other so he couldn't look at him.
The slightly taller/smaller paused before he looked back at his Captain. "Thank you, Cap!" Law turned around when he heard that only to see the bright smile from the gorgeous man. "You are the best, I hope-"
Y/N was cut off by the other pushing him out of the room and the door getting slammed behind him.
The male was confused why his Captain shoved him out of the room so he shrugged before leaving.
Meanwhile, Law's face was bright red and he silently swore at himself.
He hated this.
This crush had to go away and it annoyed him how it made him this way.
He needed the problem to go away....
#x male reader#male reader#x reader#one piece#one piece x male reader#one piece x reader#divider by cafekitsune#op#no smut#trafalgar law x reader#trafalgar law x male reader#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#trafalgar d law#one piece law#law one piece#law
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
you've heard of: aroacespec "is this person flirting with me" confusion, now get ready for: Does this person think I'm flirting with them (and also are they flirting "back" with me) because I accidentally bumped into them a lot?
#new jersey girl seems to really like me that makes me happy#nobody's been attracted to me before#but it'll make me sad if she asks me out#because even though I LOVE her i think i'd have to say no just because i really imagine myself#with a boyfriend far more than a girlfriend lately and i don't want to put her into a relationship that might end up feeling like#misgendering...#aro#ace#aroace#aroacespec#aromantic#arospec#greyromantic#greyro#I said this#we've been walking all over campus together and she's um. not a very considerate walker i keep#almost getting pushed off the path so that's whyh i keep bumping into her lol#but also she seems to like standing/sitting near me?#and i said 'i think my face is a little...' because i was thinking it felt like it got too much sun#and she was like 'i think your face is a little too-- wait what did u say?'#and i said i didn't even use an adjective but said burnt/red was what i should have siad#and she just said 'i think your face is a little'#like is that an oblique compliment??#okay the funniest part is yesterday she said some random girl came up to her and said she looked pretty and she wasn't sure if it was#flirting or just a compliment so she doesn't even know what flirting is either lol#also she calls me Data now bc i told her about hwo my uncle said my parents consult me like picard consults data lol#tbh maybe i gave her the wrong signals by moisturizing when she was in my room last night?#(kept sticking my hand under my clothes. my roommate brought her in right after i showered)#i asked my roommated if that was weird and she thought it was fine but she might not be the best metric
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm thinking about selfcest again
#no because who could possibly love you more than yourself#no one knows you better. they know exactly what you want. they understand u.#selfcest is so good#doesnt matter if the uh. selves end up really liking each other or not#because if they do love each other they have to admit theyre worthy of love and someone COULD love them despite knowing everything bad#and if they dont like each other. then you can be all sad and tragic#because even though someone knows all the good abt you. it doesnt make up for the bad.#you cant even put up with yourself#how is anyone else going to?#then you can work thru some of that shit WITH yourself#or have weird hate sex#whatever works i guess
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head
#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow#i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect#hEeEeLP MEeEeEE#i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me#SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK#i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn#like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid#plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask#i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is#or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever#okay speakijg of his face reveal#i have something i want to explain to the wall#a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488#the rest of me is neutral because idrc#the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features#it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all#idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it#I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character#that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much#but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling#anyway back to what i was saying#hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl#IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY#DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN#i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U#IM SO NORMAL#also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE#DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
cat bit up my arm Gwah
#just me hi#my dude was Biting and Scratching and he was trying to be gentle at first but PAL#i mean it does Look bad but there's no blood so :) upside!#it looks kinda bad though hghfkshfhgjh#eu.. my skin... [<- is not enjoying the visual texture (it's not even the beat up parts it's just. eu)]#euuuuuuuu- euuu#oh wait speaking of getting shredded by cats i totally forgot about that one time- i forgot which of our cats i was handling but i think a#car had been started pretty nearby and they Freaked Out and left a score on my chest#which looked cool i will not lie. it also didn't sting which was great 👍 didn't enjoy the scab though hfsvh#yea it was kind of deep tho ? i'm surprised the scar isn't more pronounced lol - it's a darker shade than the surrounding skin which i thin#is neat :3#that was in the summer i think. forgot about it so fast hfhsvh#//okay okay my hair's annoying me lol#it's getting a bit longer than i like (it's in my face but it's Longer so it's in my face Badly if you know what i'm saying pfsh) but i'm#also thinking maybe i'll grow it out ? to play around with or something ? i dunno .u.#the thing is is that i don't like it being very long because that's Absolute Hell for meee#and also it doesn't match up with my mental image of myself so it's weird looking in a mirror and seeing. Somebody ? hfhsvh#long could be cool. unfortunately short may just be where i stay lol :)#WAIT. i forgot about wigs#Lmfshvhf - no but it Could be fun and makes a lot of sense. why choose and wait a couple months for room to mess around when you can just#Skip All of It. plusss my favorite hair would still be there. underneath#this makes sense to me it makes a lot of sense#Do i have the position‚ means‚ or proper space to do that? no. but longterm goals are cool hfkshvg#//dang did this cat get me on the back of my shoulder or what is that#?#? ?#irritation.. hmnm..#//okay yea anyway i've got a handful of things i wanna get toooo#this thing i've been working on has been SO funkin slow for some reason and idk why :'3 i have other things i wanna do hurry UP#hopefully i can figure out the colour situation tho cuz i feel like it's drawing away from the inks which i want to be a bit more focused o
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
#& [it might be 5am but i'll still see if i can draw some] trackpad homemade reacts. inhales & hands to head/face x9 then walking off#site giving pretty random Suggested assortment there where i was like oh right sure. prob not tumblr keywords captures lmaooo#(plus happened to have it open in firefox) but my god Not the scapegoated literal seers lmfao. whoooo. my god#also it was just really good anyways like right nice. damn#the (queerrr) seerrr the perceiverrr the truth tellerrr the ruinerrr the scapegoat be-errr the internalizerrr the neurodivergerrr#& now i Know there is 0% chance ppl weren't putting ''always a gay cousin or it's you (avuncular edition)'' in that thing#family tree design not even leaving space for the hypothetical kids of this relative we mostly pretend is nonexistent hmm#also that necessarily. it's giving all intents & purposes Disability abt a dozen ways & it's saying [accept that] vs [we'd better fix him]#you don't cite said [it's giving disability] as part of the We All Hate The Horrible Little Freak scapegoating justification & then be like#''actually we don't have to do that anymore b/c he's sooo normal :)'' or not if you're serious about [don't scapegoat your family] anyways#which like oh ok they Are serious so The Weirdo's scapegoating / casting out / lack of support Isn't justified#so he's still weird & you just gotta get over that b/c otherwise. bye. having a natural rat affinity is such a slay btw#& we've all been there like ''you NEVER want two scapegoats talking it's Over if they do'' + littlest kid is like um. they're the best#plankton voice Correct! inhale i'm so impressed like. getting to go ''finally someone Normal'' (serious abt letting someone Be Weird(tm))#which also always counts as like mm hard time suggesting someone's Not queer & also autistic for a start lmao. an award#adding in suggested layers like talking to oneself; talking Oddly / w difficulty; physical uncoordination; rituals ; acting; animal friend#the layer of ''& all that's fine? like?'' again rather than him ever suppressing or even changing it so far as it's suggested#besides that it's observed as Weird like but so? or else what? nonrhetorical: hostility / rescinded support & driving someone off is what?#& that Truth like the [worse treatment / exclusion / scapegoat] oft recipe for someone giving the support they're not getting themself#again Never let the [ppl both experiencing this] talk oh it's So over. or the child who's all i like family support & kindness actuallyy...#obviously also like the complete opposite of billions. knowing what they're about & letting this Just As Beloved crucial guy be So Weird#but billions Also [hmm feels right for our scapegoated guy to Perceive / Tell Truths / openly want/need & then be hurt] now get his ass#anyway [guy who could always go way on could go way on but only has thirty tags & it's 6am & i still mean to try some drawing] voice#remarkable amt of So True & ''it feels like ppl on the same page w/exactly what they're doing are all behind this''#remarkable amount of concentrated My God That Is So A Slay located in bruno all at once. what a gift#sticking to ''sometimes someone In Your Group is Weird. Disabled. deal'' firmly enough there's no ;) oh u can bet we'll Fix Him in the end#everyone always assumes the worst so....me when i'm [always as a kid yearning for Living In Secret Passages]. emile gtmpota?#oh congrats to whatever rando who will be having his dramatic gay reunion w/bruno just out of frame obviously. i perceive#now imagine if That rando was....emile gtmpota! what a crossover event. haunting4haunting. do i have enough tags for this lmao. yea#& having 1 more tag to say: as though the [endless serving] isn't enough bruno's also as close to gender envy as it gets. incl rats; sure
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
heol
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀turn it up!⠀#unrelated its ltr not even what i linked but chasing time - azealia.. Dontttt omg ts is so facking good who made that beat!!!!!!!!!!#ANW. if breakaway is minhui then this is yijun. mayb the single ver more than true romance ver actually.. it js sounds more raw#i rly wanna talk abt why he hates jaehee#bc i’ve yapped abt minhui and talked abt DY/JY sort-of parallels in replies somewhere i found it the other day#and ik the ‘he doesn’t fit’ is what's been written (in pieces + that yt rundown i think) but likee it goes deeper than that#im gnna struggle to put it into words properly but im talking to myself so i can not make sense as much as i want thanks#ok. so he goes on and on abt how jaehee ruined BS bec he ‘didn’t fit’ into the four that they were without him but. he’s lowk projecting#he joined JG in 2016 - jiyeol mai hyeonmin and KOHEN were all there before him. jy’s in ‘08 mi + kh in 2010 + hm 2011#they chucked their whole childhoods away for jg - and in reward they were meant to be jg’s first boygroup#they ltr would’ve debuted in 2013 if it wasn’t for hyojoo being like hey! this is kinda weird lol! a 17 yo two 15 yos + a 13 yo is weird!#yj was late as HELLLL 2the party. he wouldve been left as a trainee while JY MI KH HM debuted as 9ANTHER if it wasnt 4 The Kohen Mai Thing#aka they started messing around in like 2014 while jy pretended he wasnt abt to crash out and hm had to listen to jy trying not2 crash out#then it got real bad like august 2016 and all of a sudden they HATEDD eo they couldnt even b in the same room#(aka. kh wanted him mi wanted jy and said Lollll i hate u die)#all in all: kh kicked off debut team. spot opens up for yijun right as he enters the company. he’s not cut out for ts at all#he was lonely back home and now he’s lonely here and now apparently he’s in a debut team with 3 guys who know eo and he wants to die#hyeonmin like smiles at him like ONCE during practice and he latches on fastttt this leech 😭😭😭 tries to worm his way in via hm#spoiler! it only half works theres sand under his skin he hates it all he’s not meant for them he needs a gun#it gets better over the years and jy + mi sorting their shit out & cutting off kh completely makes yj feel wayy more secure#and then they debut even if it is after yoonhae’s literal death. and then jaehee comes in like Hiii i like to act and colour ^_^#HE WNATS TO DIEE ITS HIM ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! cant even bear to look at him#like the walls are UP he’s not letting himself become kohen. and when jh tries to get close to min - ltr exactly like he did.......#ITS NEVER BEEN MORE BONSOVERRRR#so there. he’s mean and hates him and wants him dead for that. Yayyyy#kh has def said some nasttyyyyy shit to yj too ijbol like mind you he didnt leave jg until jy did! THIS YEAR!#the song. is abt himself. him to him in the mirror. to kohen. to jaehee. he’s mad at shit that’s never happened and he’s never gonna stop#the ‘why did you fall for me’ though.. that’s him to min like#he feels like he’s conned him into it - bec the first couple months he only rly was around him to try and get into the inner circle#and then he fell in Lol. Gay
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
starting to feel really complicated about the upcoming Finnish production of Moulin Rouge!
#like. on the one hand I'm of course looking forward to it#but on the other hand. well. it's just that this is hardly my first rodeo.#I've seen some of my all-time favourite productions being redone by other theatres before and they're never as good#(with the possible exception of the Karlstad/Jönköping Les Mis I guess)#(but that was all about Alex being my fav + Philip Jalmelid delivering the most out of this world rendition of Stars I'll ever hear)#and then I'm just very prejudiced against the theatre that's staging the Finnish MR!#with one notable exception every musical I've seen on their big stage has felt... just a little bit soulless to me I guess#maybe it's just because that stage is so big and it always feels like theatre set up in an airplane hangar#or maybe it's because the type of audience they attract almost always gives off a certain slightly detached vibe#or maybe it's something about the way they work itself#or maybe it's all three!#but I'm a little worried that though it's by the same director the Finnish MR! experience simply won't compare favorably to the Swedish one#and then there's the weird feeling you get when it comes to these things... or at least *I* get when it comes to these things#if I'm right in my premonitions and I'll walk out thinking it doesn't hold a candle to the Swedish production that is#inevitably Finnish people are going to love the Finnish MR! and praise it because it's a good production no matter what#so then I'll be stuck in that weird mood#where I'll feel like everyone around me is watching the shadow and I'm the only person who's been outside the cave to see the Real Musical#and I know it's stuck up and silly to feel that way! and yet#oh man. just please let me see the u/s Zidler and I'll be too happy to even compare the rest of it to Stockholm#anyway!! I guess this is something I'll need to work through myself as a musical fan before I go see it#also maybe some fanart of the Swedish production? I've honestly been too exhausted the entire spring and summer to even think about that#but I'd like to draw something#maybe one day?#Moulin Rouge! posting
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today#i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny#like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you#so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME#and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine#because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors#which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart#my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined#even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives#anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said#early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture#which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire#....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do#like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything#all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma#and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names#my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german#i just want to know idk#but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative#i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl#and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either#although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago#i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this#on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left#my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them#but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever#but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era#his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything#my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.
#i just think it’s silly….#like no joke i’ve written five songs this school year and lets see#there’s one about being a ‘‘silly stupid angel’’ who’s degraded and abused and idealized and stripped of all dignity#(yes it’s a commentary on the patriarchy. yes it’s about the toxic relationship i was in at the time. it’s also several of my kinks in one)#there’s one called GOOD BOY about being a dog. whining and kicking up the dirt. growling and whimpering. being taken advantage of#ITS JUST A METAPHOR. obviously. i actually wasn’t into puppy play yet when i wrote that song iirc. guess it got to me….#then there’s the cannibalism one. i gave my soul up you can eat me raw diced up and vulnerable i’m yours to try#it’s a ummmm it’s just a commentary. (also about my toxic relationship. he didn’t want to fuck OR eat me. but somehow still used me)#anyway the other two are just normal one is about filtering myself for him and the other is about being oppressed and poor and angry lol#still though. the fact that over half my songs are literally my kinks turned into poetry. and NOBODY KNOWS#it’s not my fault that those things are on my mind ALL THE TIME. what am i supposed to write songs about if not being a stupid puppy??#i don’t think anyone on my kink blog ACTUALLY wants to hear about this but my kinks are secret so this is the only place i can post about i#hope u can get some sort of psychological insight about me?? or idk stalk me?? show up 2 my shows and kidnap and use me?? who said that#i’m not even like. wet rn i’m just on here as reflex. and i’m THINKING. abt my TWISTED MIND and the weird shit i write about#in an intellectual way. cause i’m not USING my KINK BLOG this week. cause i SAID SO cause i need to KEEP MY WITS ABOUT ME#so i’m gonna be so normal. and not touch myself even a little bit cause i need to sleep and i need to move house and i need to be so normal#unrelatedly: tomorrow i’ll be one month on testosterone!! definitely hasn’t awakened anything in me….#anyway. anyway. i’m going to try to go to bed. probably going to end up edging myself stupid instead though#will just have 2 see what happens…. god it would be a shame if someone came in and used my sleeping body. who said that
4 notes
·
View notes