#like this stuff has already happened XD

[thedeafprophet]

I do find the jokes about their being worse stuff if flondon was more popular funny because it is all very true!

But I've also already had people being Very Weird To Me in a small fandom so! Never doubt the power of small fandoms too

[koka-mi]

I had a weird dream about a certain song that had effects on ppl whenever they first listen and it literally plays in the back of your head for I believe a week? or maybe it was a month. And certain things start to happen to you--it just makes you act weird for the whole week or so it's in your head? and then it leaves and you go back to normal. some of the things you did were pretty silly tbh xD but I can't remember much of it.

I do remember you were supposed to make others listen to the song too (kinda like chain mail) but idk what the point of that was BCZ LIKE.. it's not like it made you yourself stop thinking abt it. It isn't like one of those you give it to another person to make it stop things SO THAT MADE NO SENSE. I guess so they could suffer having to hear the song in the back of their head with you xD

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[nataliedecorsair]

I wanted to give you some of Pticenoga's Borderlands AU backstory, how she was raised by Shade and before starting her shenanigans with Vaughn.

Plus a bonus comic about how she decided to set up a meeting for Vaughn and Shade, but didn't tell Vaughn who is supposed to be there x) Mostly because Vaughn has met Shade before in his macabre World of Curiosities museum and thought that Shade is too weird for him. Well, that's the kind of person that would raise a feral harpy siren, gotta deal with it!

When she was very young, nothing bothered her much as she was just a wild baby exploring the world x) And Shade was a good father figure to her. However, as she grew older, she realized that she doesn't really "fit in": yeah, Pandora is a crazy planet, but not every person there is crazy. There are plenty of "regular folk" like Shade or other people from their town - and many others. And she was frequently called a monster, a mutant and many other things by the regular kids and even adults. She was wild though, could bite them or fight with them in a pretty feral manner, and, even though she protected herself, it didn't help the situation much. She wasn't crazy enough (and too small) to fit in with the psychos or bandits, was "too human" for actual monsters living on Pandora, and for a long time she had no idea she was a Siren, as even for Sirens she looked too different. Only when she hit her teens, she was able to confirm that she is one, started using her powers, and in her human form she could see the full extension of the glowing pattern she had on her skin. She still, however, didn't know why she wasn't born "normal", and there were no older Sirens around.

At some point, she decided to become independent and live on her own. Her "wild" upbringing was helping that a lot, and she felt fine being away from people. She'd still visit Shade frequently, of course, and at some point she'd even met Zer0 and could hang out with him for some time. As Zer0 is a mystery himself, they had some common ground between them (though constantly listening to his haiku were exhausting xD). Sadly, Vault Hunters attract attention, not always positive, and that was the reason why she got spotted by a big bandit gang (could be the beginning of Vallory's gang, but before she took over). And local scientists like Tannis already declared that there may be some connection between Sirens and the Vaults. And they noticed that she's a Siren, but also pretty young (and dumb). After the first Vault on Pandora was opened, there was plenty of weird and valuable stuff around, but it wasn't so easy to get it when you're just regular bandits. And when Eridians, the aliens that are guarding the Vault, are everywhere. The Sirens like Lilith were too strong for them, and hiring a Vault Hunter is expensive, so they decided to wriggle into her favor and use her to gain access to the area. She didn't know she was dealing with bandits first, she naively thought it's a rare case of nice fellows just wanting to be friends and such, plus the Vault could have answers about her origin, and the new "friends" confirmed it.

At some point, she realized she was being used, and got into a fight with the bandits - and lost, as there were too many of them, and she had too little experience, and they knew about Shade. She got kidnapped and told that she'd do everything they told her to do, or they'd kill Shade, so she had to obey. She helped them to fight the way to the Vault and get some of the riches, and during the process she felt that she really does have a connection with Eridians - they boosted her powers and helped her to get free, and kill every presenting member of the gang. She was worried about Shade though, so she left immediately to find him before the remaining members found out what happened and could harm him. But she was too late - the water source in their town of Oasis was poisoned, and every single person there died. Except Shade though - he lasted longer, but dehydration made him insane, and he turned corpses into the stuffed dummies he could talk to (though she didn't have much of a problem with this part). As she was gone for at least several months, he didn't believe she's real, and she had to adapt to the new reality.

She never got back to the Vault after that as she felt it was a source of more trouble than anything good (in her view, the price was too much for a bunch of physical stuff).

That lasted for years, and became a bit easier as her powers, enhanced by the Eridians, wasn't only serving the destruction,  but could eventually "heal" some part of Shade's mind, so the moments of clarity became more frequent (she didn't know it's the reason, though). And you still need money, whether you like it or not, so, when Shade decided to use his World of Curiosities as a spot of illegal deals and smuggling, she didn't resist, but would watch over him in the shadows in case something goes wrong.

Eventually, she calmed down and just embraced herself. And, after some time, she met Vaughn, whose personal struggles she could sense right away, as she had to experience "being different" herself.

[thoughts-of-bear]

The birthday gift

A Halsin x reader fanfiction | Explicit, 18+ | 7k words A/N: Okay since the Halsin brainrot has had its hold on me for ages, I started this fic on my birthday in december, not expecting to ever finish it because I have literally never finished anything I've started writing before- until now. I got inspired to write this by this post (for the birthday part, the smut part is my own horny imagination) and well, this is the final product. Since it's my first time publishing any of my writing and writing smut at all, please be kind with me XD Summary: Your companions prepare a surprise birthday party for you, Halsin sees you in your new dress, you two dancing leads to him confessing his feelings for you and a very happy ending... CW: halsin x f!reader, virgin reader, halsin eating pussy, fingering, p in v sex, breeding, rough sex i guess, halsin being the man he is, all that stuff idk what to write here really

I hope you enjoy it, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

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You and your companions had finally reached Baldur’s Gate. It’s still morning when you enter Rivington that day and the streets are busy with all kinds of people, many seemingly refugees from Elturel and farther away, here to find shelter in the city. As you continue down the road to the village in front of the city gates, you are stopped by a little red-headed girl.

“Erm. ‘Scuse me, I can’t find my mum.” She looks worn out and as if she has recently been crying.

“Where did you last see her?” you ask as you bend down to her, smiling to show you want to help.

“She went to go get some herbs - for her spots” she gestures towards her face. “She was sick. And she was supposed to come back the same day.” She pauses before adding, “That was last tenday though.”

“Let’s go find a guard. They’ll be able to help you”, you propose.

The girl shakes her head. “Guards blow like petards. They don’t help us.”

Your heart sinks at these words. It seems all these people were here because the city wouldn’t take them in. And the guards are no help either, apparently. You wonder what happened to your city, where once everyone was welcome.

Halsin sighs and shakes his head in disapproval. “This city is a poor place to be in need of help. Even the guards can’t be trusted to protect the most vulnerable.”

You silently agree and think of how you could help that girl. You decide to spare a few coins, so she can buy herself some food.

“I don’t know where your mum is, but here - take a few coins”, you offer her, not able to tell her that her mother is most likely dead. Halsin smiles at you warmly as you shoot him a quick glance, the sight making your heart skip a beat.

“Oh - erm. Thank you so much! I don’t have anything and you can’t do anything without any coin”, the little girl exclaims, bobbing on her toes and suddenly looking a little less tired. “I’ll pay you back. When I find my mum.” She turns around and bolts. “No need, it’s a gift!” you call after her but she has already vanished in the crowd.

You finally arrive at Wyrm’s Rock Crossing in the evening, after you had snuck past one of the new city guards - the so-called Steel Watch - and promised to investigate the murder of the local Ilmater priest. Another incident that seems to fuel the hate towards the refugees.

And that isn’t even all. The city is closed, even for you as a Baldurian, and to get in you’d need an Admission Pass - or wings. You sigh. You just want to get into the city, rent a room in the Elfsong and think about what to do next, now that the Absolute’s army must soon be upon the city.

It’s all too much and too little time. And you can’t just turn away from the people you met in Rivington either, they need help just as much as you need to find out how to beat the Absolute’s Chosen and get rid of the tadpoles.

When you make your way around camp that evening, checking up on your companions, Halsin notices your exhaustion, the way you slump your shoulders and how your usually impeccable stance falters. He wants to relieve you of at least a bit of the tension, so when you walk over to him, he offers you a massage. The things he wants to say to you can wait until tomorrow.

“Thank you, Halsin”, you accept, his hands turning you around and gently pushing you down to sit on your knees before him. You sigh as his broad hands knead the tension from your back and by the time he is finished, you feel like a sleepy, boneless lump of flesh, muscles completely relaxed. You thank Halsin again before you retire to your bedroll, the hopeful thought that the offer might’ve been more than Halsin’s usual kindness crossing your mind before you drift off to sleep.

The next evening, you were finally inside the city walls. You consider the new information of the day. How you got your hands on an invitation to the celebration at Wyrm’s rock fortress, your disbelief to see that it was Lord Gortash’s coronation as Arch Duke, how he made the tadpoled Duke Ravengard give up his power and how Bane’s Chosen then proposed an alliance against Orin, the shapeshifter that had already approached you in Rivington. You had agreed to kill her, but you definitely wouldn’t leave Gortash his Netherstone. But that is a problem for another day. You had managed to get a room in the Elfsong Tavern and as usual you make your way through it to hear what your companions think of all that had happened today. Most approve of your decision. Halsin is the last person you speak to and as always, he has just the right words to ease your worries. For now, at least.

“Wait-”, he grabs your arm before you can leave. “I didn’t thank you yet.” His large hand is warm and makes your skin tingle where it touches you.

“Thank me? For what?” He chuckles at your puzzled look. “For all that you did in Rivington yesterday. You have so many worries and yet you still go out of your way to help those in need. The way you made that little girl smile, or how you didn’t hesitate to investigate what happened to that Ilmater priest.” A blush creeps up your cheeks as he continues. “I’m afraid Nature’s balance can never be restored in a city like this, but seeing what you do every day without expecting anything in return gives me hope. And for that I thank you.” You smile up at him, lost for words with your heart beating fast.

“I appreciate you saying this. I wish I could to more, to help everyone, but if I can at least do a little good, it’s worth the exhaustion at the end of the day”, you eventually admit with a smile. Halsin grins. “You’re too modest. I wager you don’t even know how extraordinary you truly are.” Your cheeks blush an even deeper red at those words and only when you retire to bed for the evening does your heart resume its normal pace again. But the warm feeling Halsin’s presence gave you remained for the night.

After you had the first proper breakfast since your crash with the Nautiloid, you feel ready to explore the city and find out how to best deal with all your problems. You hadn’t particularly missed the bustle and noise of your old home, but you can’t help feeling safer now that you were in familiar surroundings again.

Gale proposed to go to Sorcerous Sundries, both to find out more about the Elderbrain’s crown and to see what the wizard there wants with your companion Nightsong. Since you don’t have an idea where to find Orin yet, you figure that this is as good as any other thing you could be doing. 

The way from Elfsong to the magic shop isn’t far and you still have some time before it opens, so you decide to stop by the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette to update yourself on any news you had missed in your absence and struggle with the Absolute.

Scanning the title page, you notice the date in the corner and your brows shoot up in surprise. Noticing this, Gale asks if you found anything important in the newspaper.

“No, it’s just that I realised today is my birthday and I've completely forgotten about it. That means we have been on the road for more than two months already”, you wonder aloud before you add, “It doesn’t feel that long.”

“Well, then we have to celebrate of course!” Gale exclaims happily. You smile at his enthusiasm but shake your head. “We have bigger problems for now. Let’s see what this Lorroakan wants with Dame Aylin and then get on with our business. Besides,” you shrug, “we didn’t celebrate birthdays in my monastery anyways so I won’t miss anything.”

“If you say so,” Gale replies and you turn your attention back towards the page you were studying before.

You had already forgotten about the conversation as you come into your chamber in the Elfsong, grateful for the few minutes alone during the bath you had taken and the respite for your tired body.

But the moment you enter the room, Karlach and Shadowheart drag you to a set dinner table, laden with the most delicious food you could imagine. There aren’t your ordinary fish heads and the mouldy bread you usually have to call supper, instead delicious smelling pork roasts, pies, glazed carrots and potatoes, deep red apples and more pile atop the table, all lovingly placed around a huge flower bouquet in the middle of it.

You are so overwhelmed by the amount of work your friends must’ve put into this, that you can only stutter a ‘thank you’ before Karlach announces, “Happy birthday soldier! Halsin, Gale and Shadowheart here told us that today is your birthday and you never had a proper party before, so we decided to prepare you a little something!” With a grin she gestures from the table to one of the unoccupied beds, where a few packages are placed.

“You brought me presents too? You really didn’t have to!” you exclaim in surprise. You are so touched that your friends -among all the trouble- still found time to prepare the presents and this party for you that you feel tears well up in your eyes.

“Darling, no need to cry,” Astarion laughs as he pushes you onto your designated chair. “This is a party and not a funeral! Go ahead and enjoy yourself, it’s your special day after all!”

With a sniff and a small chuckle at Astarion’s words you sit down properly. He is right, of course, and you all clearly enjoy having a small break from the worries you faced at the moment.

Smiling hesitantly, you grab some meat and vegetables and start to eat - it really is delicious. You revel in the laughter and conversations with your friends, your weariness from todays fight forgotten for the moment.

When all of you can’t possibly eat any more, Karlach drags you over to the bed with the presents. You can tell she is excited to see if you like the few things your companions managed to get you in the time they had for preparing, so you start unpacking.

The first present contains a book on the monastery you were raised in, with a handwritten note from Gale:

“I’m sure you already know most information this book has to offer, but I thought it might still bring you comfort and remind you of home.” You thank him with a tight hug and carefully place the book into your bag.

The next package is a bottle of the finest liquor of the Elfsong Tavern, plus a sparkler for every one of your companions which Karlach sets of immediately.

Laughing at her shenanigans, you reach for the last and biggest present. It is wrapped in red paper and decorated with a little white bow. You wonder where your companions had managed to find all those things while you carefully pull the paper open. Soon a dress falls out of the packaging and you gaze at it in awe. Your fingers trace the deep forest green fabric, intricate silver and gold patterns weaved into it.

“This is beautiful, thank you, truly!” you say earnestly. You still can’t quite believe that all this should be for you. “I thought you would like it”, smiles Shadowheart. “And I’m certain it will suit you beautifully. Go now - try it on!” she urges you.

You walk to the bathroom which still smells of the quince-scented soap you had used for your bath a few hours before. While changing, you bask in that warm feeling in your chest these moments among your friends always grant you. Whatever problems you had encountered, in your opinion they have all been worth it just for the people you found and let into your heart along the way. As cheesy as that sounds.

You regard yourself in the mirror. The dress is cut low and close-fitting, capturing your cleavage in a very flattering way. Maybe too flattering, if you think about it too much. This isn’t something you’d usually wear, but you have to admit that you like the way the dress looks on you. A bit insecure you go back into your room, where you are greeted with approving cheers and whistles from your friends.

“You look absolutely stunning”, Shadowheart admires. “I knew it would look good on you! Turn around please”, she commands. You do what you are told, with red cheeks at the compliment.

When you face Shadowheart again, you notice Halsin gazing at you with pure admiration - and something else you can’t quite place. You think you notice a golden shimmer in his eyes, but that could be a trick of the light considering all the candles in the room.

“I must admit, your neck looks very tempting in that dress but I know someone who is a lot hungrier for you than me right now”, Astarion remarks with a wicked grin and a sideward glance. You frown at him, though you can’t help your heart skipping a beat at these words. Could he possibly mean Halsin?

“Now, what would a party be without some music and dance?” Wyll interrupts your thoughts and as if these words have summoned her, the bard the party had met in the druid grove appears in the doorway.

“Alfira!” you exclaim happily and immediately rush over to hug her. “I’m so glad you got to Baldur’s Gate alright!”

Alfira grins at you. “Yes, thanks to you and your friends here. When they reached out to me today and told me it was your birthday, I just had to come! Wyll organised everything.” You nod to him in thanks. “Now, I don’t have anything to give you but just tell me what you want to hear and I will play it for you!”

“Thanks, Alfira, that’s more than enough for me”, you beam and lead her into the room towards your group. “Wyll, now is your chance to show me your dancing!” You say as you take his hand and pull him into the middle of the room, then you grab Karlach and Gale and start to move to the tune Alfira started to play. Karlach swirls you around and Wyll shows you the dance moves from court, which -to be honest- remind you a bit of the mating dances you had seen with a few bird species.

Out of breath from all the dancing and laughing, you request a slower tune from the tiefling bard. You manage to persuade Shadowheart to put away her wine for a moment and start to waltz around the room with her. She is quite the good dancer and you wonder where she had learned it, with her being raised in a Sharran temple and everything.

At the next tune, you approach Halsin. With your head light from the wine, you have finally gathered the courage to ask him for what you have secretly thought about the whole time.

Still, you can feel your heart beating in your throat. “Erm…Halsin, w-would you honour me with a dance?” you eventually manage to mumble out shyly.

“Of course, little flower. Whatever your heart desires.” That particular heart skips a beat at his intimate tone. “Although you might wish you hadn’t asked me that once you’ve seen my dancing”, he adds with a chuckle as he takes your hand.

He leads you into the room and starts to swirl you around to the melody of Alfira’s lute. He definitely isn’t as graceful as Shadowheart but certainly not as bad as he has made it sound. But even if he’d had the dancing skills of a bugbear, you wouldn’t have noticed. His large and warm hand around your waist and the smile with which he regards you sends your pulse through the ceiling. His smell of pine and honey and fresh air intoxicates you and it is hard to keep your feet from getting tangled in your dress.

When he leans down to you, you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. “Before you go and mingle again, I still have a present for you. I wasn’t sure if you would even like it”, he admits, “but I have decided to give it to you anyways.” When the tune ends, he leads you to the space in your room where his bed stands and bends down to search his pack.

You think about how long it took you to realise how attracted you are to the druid as you admire his strong back before you. Of course, you have noticed his kindness and compassion and you have always marvelled at the way he drew strength from nature. But only since you had some kind of break these last days have you begun to understand the depth of your affection for the man before you. It runs deeper than mere friendship and the echo of his hands on your back have awoken a hunger inside you that only grows stronger the more you look at Halsin. How desperately you hope that he feels the same way about you…

When he stands up to turn around, you quickly brush away the thought that has sent the heat into your cheeks again.

“You’re the only one who knows of my secret passion”, he begins jokingly, “so I thought you might accept this as my present for your special day.” He hands you a small whittled duck he has apparently made in the hours you were away from camp. You can’t help but tear up at the thought of how much effort he has put into all the details he has carved. There are even small webbed feet on the underside of the little duck.

“Thank you Halsin, this is an amazing gift!” You smile down at the little duck. “You are amazing”, you add quietly.

“With all that you have done for me, I should be the one thanking you night and day.” As you look into his eyes again you see that his gaze is now very solemn. “There was another reason for wanting to speak to you privately. I have lived a very long time. I have taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly. But it does now.” Your heart flutters in recognition of his words, the confession sending sparks across your skin.

“I want more than to fight at your side, or to sit around the campfire with you. I want to lay with you under the stars and feel your skin against mine.” Halsin’s gaze on you is intense, filling your chest with a burning heat that slowly spreads lower into your belly, as if the wine you have been drinking suddenly caught on fire inside of you.

Halsin continues, “I think you feel the same way - but tell me I’m wrong and the matter can rest. I do not wish to sour our friendship, but I have to know if it can be something more.”

You stare at him for a moment before you realise that he waits for your answer.

“Y-you’re not wrong, far from it”, you whisper. “I would like that very much.” You smile up at him and he takes your hand in his.

“May I kiss you?” he breathes out, relieved. You nod and he bends down to gently press his lips on yours.

His hand slides up your arm and to your back while he places his other behind your head, gently pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.

You feel his tongue prodding at your lips, demanding entrance and you happily oblige. The feeling of his soft lips on yours sends you spiralling and you can’t stifle the small moan that escapes you. Halsin sends out a silent prayer to Silvanus - if that is all it takes to make you moan, what sounds do you make when he finally gets to taste you? Groaning, his hand on your back slowly wanders lower, a silent question of permission in his eyes. You press your body against his as an answer, feeling the heat radiating off his chest … and lower.

Halsins hand grips your ass firmly, making you gasp, the other joining in and hoisting you up on his hips, turning you both around and pressing your back to the wall. You cannot stop the surprised squeak that escapes your lips at the sudden movement and Halsin presses his mouth on yours to stifle it.

The feeling of the growing bulge in his pants between your legs and the low moan Halsin utters before kissing you even more vigorously sends a shiver down your spine, pressure starting to build between your thighs.

In a desperate attempt to pull him closer, your hands grip Halsin’s hair, arms, everything you can reach. But before you can lose yourself in him, Halsin releases your lips, panting, and rests his forehead against yours.

“I would very much like to continue”, he whispers, his breathing ragged and voice hoarse with desire, “but the others will expect us back and I think you would probably like a bit more privacy.” He sighs and softly kisses your hair. “I will come to your bed when the party has ended, little flower. But don’t expect much sleep”, he adds with a wicked grin. You can only nod as he gently props you back on your feet.

With your head spinning, you get back to the others, averting your eyes from the knowing smirks of Astarion and Shadowheart noticing your ruffled hair and flushed cheeks. You ignore them, trying to engage in some more conversation and one or two dances while the thought of what awaits you won’t leave your head.

When the last of the party finally bids you goodnight, you hurry to bed, awaiting Halsin. You can’t get away from the echoes of his hands on your body, heart already racing again and warmth blooming in your belly. Even if he hadn’t promised you he’d come tonight, you would’ve been unable to sleep.

A soft rustle next to your ear startles you from your thoughts and as you turn your head, you could make out Halsin’s large figure in the dark, crouching beside your bed.

He cuts you off from what you wanted to say by placing a finger on your mouth, his other hand sliding under your back and pulling you into an upright position. With your heart beating into your throat, you take the hand Halsin offers as he gently beckons you to follow him into the corridor outside of the room the party shares, then further into a small but cosy bedroom on the next floor.

The door closes with a click and before you can say anything, Halsin sweeps you up into his arms, pressing you flat against the door and capturing your lips in a kiss that feels like it burns you from the inside.

Halsin’s fresh, earthy scent floods your senses as your tongues intertwine and your hands find their way into his hair, tugging at his braids. You whine when Halsin lets go of your lips, only to gasp as he starts nibbling and placing searing kisses on your jaw while his hands squeeze your ass firmly, bringing your bodies as close together as possible.

You moan at the growing ache between your thighs but plant your small fists against his shoulders anyway, gently pushing him away a bit. Halsin’s eyes, pupils wide and dark with desire, find yours.

“What is it my heart?” he asks, voice hoarse. “Do you want me to stop?” You see no disappointment in his gaze, only worry and your heart swells at how selfless your lover is. You avert your eyes, suddenly embarrassed to tell what troubles you.

“I- I j-just wanted t-to say that … um … well, I- I have never been with someone before”, you mumble eventually, averting your gaze as you blush furiously.

“Silvanus, preserve me”, Halsin groans out before almost dropping you and stumbling backwards, trying to steady himself on the small desk opposite the bed. With wide eyes you regard what is happening before you. Halsin drops to his knees, a deep animalistic growl coming from his lips as his eyes fill with golden light and he transforms into his huge bear form.

You gasp and nearly trip over your feet in an attempt to make room for the bear before you, but the animal fills almost the entire chamber. After finally regaining his composure, Halsin manages to change back into his elf form, with a snarl and a ragged breath coming from his lips.

“Forgive me. I- lost the run of myself.” He shakes his head in disgust at his outbreak, terrified that he has ruined this precious moment with you before it could properly begin, and slowly gets back to his feet. “Sometimes, when blood runs hot enough, it’s difficult to tame the beast. And the thought of you trusting me enough to share your first time with me … well, you saw what happened”, he smiles tentatively, slowly approaching you again with hesitation in his eyes.

“Don’t apologise”, you assure him with a shy smile. “I like it.” If possible, you blush even harder now. “Maybe for another time…?” you add, fidgeting nervously with the front of your dress.

A relieved grin spreads over Halsin’s face. “You like it..?”, he chuckles. “You are full of surprises, little flower.” As he steps forward, he bends down to gently plant a kiss on your cheek, only to proceed to bite at your earlobe which elicits a delicious moan from you.

“I’m glad you think so, but now you’ve made it even harder for me not to outright devour you”, his low voice whispers in your ear. “Nevertheless, I will be gentle. Or at least I’ll try to be.” You swallow hard, arousal sending shivers down your spine.

Halsin’s arms wrap around your waist again as he kisses your jaw, your forehead and nose, until eventually his lips find yours again, his tongue ravaging you like a man starving. His hands, this time directly shoving under your dress, firmly grip your thighs. He ruts against you, growling, his now rock-hard cock pressing against the confinements of his clothing.

His fingers trail higher up, kneading your ass, then stroking the soft skin of your back before slowly wandering even higher. His touch sends jolts through your body and you can feel the heat between your legs, already nearly too much to bear.

His eyes hold an unspoken question and when you nod, Halsin lifts your dress off and brings his mouth down on one of your breasts, the hand that’s not on your back now gently kneading the other, massaging the hardened nipple between his fingers. You mewl at the sensation, impossibly more pressure building between your thighs. Halsin gently bites down at your breast, only to run his tongue over it afterwards to soothe the mark he made. You moan and arch your back, desperately trying to press closer against Halsin’s still overly clothed erection, wanting to feel everything of him.

He growls and his mouth begins to place kisses down your front, between your breasts, on the soft flesh of your belly until he is on his knees before you, his warm breath fanning over you and flooding you with heat.

“More?” he asks, his pupils blown wide with lust, as his thumbs brush the soft skin between your legs. “Please”, you whine, knees almost too weak to stand and your underwear already embarrassingly soaked.

Halsin wastes no time, pressing kisses on the insides of your thighs, his one hand holding you in place and his other slowly -too slowly- sliding your panties down your legs. The sight of you bare and dripping with need before him almost makes him lose control again, makes him want to take you, devour you, fuck you, mark you and then fill you to the brim with his cum but with a groan he wills himself to calm down and be gentle with you. He won’t hurt you. He won’t.

He exhales deeply, lifting one of your legs up and slowly swiping his tongue through your wet folds, which earns him a choked gasp. His nose nudges your clit as his tongue starts stroking, slowly at first, then faster and with more pressure. You can’t help the way each expert swipe of his tongue makes your hips buck into his mouth as countless moans and sighs fall out of your mouth. Halsin growls in response, the vibrations around your sensitive bud making your legs shake. You can barely keep up and the coil in your belly is tightening ever faster with Halsin’s mouth sucking your clit and his tongue inside you.

“You are sweeter than honey, my heart”, he groans as his tongue presses flat against you. “Let me taste you as you come undone on my tongue.” With your mind clouded with lust, all you can do is moan out Halsin’s name and press yourself further against your lover’s mouth.

He understands anyway, now slowly dragging a thick finger through your dripping folds until he stops, teasingly pressing against your entrance. You whine, begging him to fill you, to do anything to release the overwhelming pressure between your thighs. When he finally thrusts into you, you can’t stifle the cry of pleasure that escapes your mouth. With Halsin’s finger now working your cunt open, his mouth continues its ministrations, licking and sucking your clit, soaking your legs with your slick.

With a wicked grin, Halsin inserts a second finger into your quivering hole, pushing inside over and over again, holding you firmly in place as you try to writhe away from the intense pleasure. His fingers coil upwards in response, hitting a spot inside you that makes you see stars.

“Please Halsin…”, you beg, toes curling and legs shaking, “I’m close- I- Oh!“

Moaning into your cunt, Halsin picks up his pace, his fingers pumping in and out of you as his tongue swipes over your clit again and again, bringing you closer to your end.

One more thrust with his fingers and a soft nip of his teeth against the sensitive bud between your legs is all it needs to send you spiralling over the edge. “Ha- Halsin!” you cry out, hips jerking violently and fingers digging into his shoulders as your orgasm hits you with the force of a lightning bolt. He moans at the sensations of your walls contracting around his fingers, the urge to take you and feel you squeeze his cock with your needy cunt almost overwhelming him.

You whine when he pulls his fingers out and stands up, bringing you in for a passionate kiss as you still struggle to regain your breath. Tasting yourself on Halsin’s tongue pulls a small moan from you and an embarrassed heat creeps up your back at the thought of how aroused you already are again.

With a smile, Halsin pulls away. “You are amazing, little flower”, he whispers breathlessly as he picks you up and gently places you on the bed, admiring your flushed body.

If Halsin’s tongue hadn’t just turned your mind to goo, you might have been able to return that compliment, but alas-

“May I go further?” Halsin asks and when you nod he swiftly discards of his clothes, you licking your lips at the sight of the elf naked before you. Your eyes take in his form, from his muscled arms down to the soft curve of his belly and- oh gods. Your eyes widen. You didn’t think he would be that big and the thought of him filling you makes you gulp down a mixture of fear and arousal.

Attentive as always, Halsin notices your insecurity and bends down to press gentle kisses against your ear. “We don’t have to do this, my heart…”, he whispers while he rubs soothing circles into your hips. He looks at you, his expression earnest. You bite your lip, thinking for a moment before answering. “N-no, I want this”, you assure him, your voice still weak but pleading now. The way you look so sweet with your little fangs on your lips makes Halsin feral and he kisses you again, desperate and more passionate this time. He groans into the kiss as he gently spreads your legs for him, lining up his tip with your dripping slit and sliding through your soft folds before stopping just at your entrance. The sensation of his hard length so close to entering you is enough to make your head fall back, eyes squeezed shut. “If it’s getting too much, tell me and I will stop immediately”, he whispers soothingly. “Now relax for me, little flower.”

All thoughts leave your head as Halsin slides in, agonizingly slow. The stretch would be painful if your lover hadn’t prepared you so thoroughly beforehand, but now you only feel pure bliss. Raising your head, you can see that he isn’t even halfway in but gods, you feel so full already that you can’t stifle the choked gasp that escapes your throat.

“You’re doing so well, my heart. Just a little bit more- mngh-!“ Halsin’s growl sends jolts through your spine as he finally bottoms out. You can see just how much effort it takes him to hold back by the way his jaw tenses and his chest is heaving.

“By Silvanus, you’re so tight-!“ A shiver crawls down his back, carrying a wave of soft golden light with it, as Halsin’s eyes light up with his magic for a moment. The thought of how you are able to bring your lover to the precipice of losing control is extremely flattering and you feel yourself clenching around Halsin’s cock, making him grunt in response. Finally somewhat accustoming to his size, you arch your back into the mattress below you. The new angle makes you moan in pleasure as you grip the sheets for support.

“Are you still feeling good, little flower?”, Halsin asks as he slides a hand from your hip under your back to support you. You can only form one thought. “More- please Halsin!” you whine desperately. You don’t have to ask twice, with a low growl he slides out - just to knock the breath out of you with his first, hard thrust. He sets a steady pace, one that leaves you moaning and gasping out his name. Halsin takes your small hands into his, pressing them into the bed beside you to pin you down, pushing into you deep and slow while he places bites and kisses on your throat and chest that will surely leave marks come morning.

Gods, Halsin thought. The sight of your small body sprawled beneath him, split apart by his thick cock while he fucks into you relentlessly is driving him insane. He is growling with every thrust now and each one of them makes you cry out in pleasure. It doesn’t take long until he has you on the precipice of release again, your cunt fluttering around Halsin’s length.

“H- halsin- please! I’m so close!” you can only beg, not sure if you can take much more, your body feeling like it might explode. “Come for me, my heart”, Halsin demands in a gravelly voice before pressing a thumb to your clit, rubbing and massaging until his name leaves your lips in a hoarse cry as your orgasm hits you with full force. Your hips jerk upwards, walls clenching around Halsin as you notice the tears from the overwhelming pleasure streaming down your face. He continues to pound into you, prolonging your release and muttering praises for you under his breath.

Through the fog in your mind you wonder how Halsin still has the energy to keep going, his pace unwavering while you are completely spent, gladly accepting whatever your lover has to give you as long as you’re not required to move.

So, you do not see it coming when Halsin suddenly pulls out of you, the unexpected emptiness making you whine in displeasure, only for him to flip you over and press your chest into the soft bedding while he gently raises your hips.

“I know it’s a lot right now but I need you to cum for me one more time, my heart”, Halsin huffs with a strained voice, pushing inside you once more and grabbing a fistful of your hair to keep you in place. The new position lets him slide even deeper than before and you can’t help the strangled cry that leaves you when Halsin starts pounding into you again, hitting a spot that makes your eyes roll back with blinding pleasure.

“’s too much- please-!” you sob, your poor overstimulated clit still trying to recover from the last orgasm. But Halsin doesn’t relent and you can feel sharp pricks on your hips where his hand grips you, fingers partially wild-shaped into claws and his head thrown back in ecstasy. Seeing just how feral you drive him makes your hole clench around his shaft, the squeeze causing his hips to stutter as a grunt leaves his lips. “Silvanus preserve me”, Halsin pants as he fucks into you even faster, “if you keep squeezing me like that I will not be able to stop myself from claiming you completely, from making you mine and filling you up with my seed.”

You whimper at the image of Halsin pumping his cum into you, fucking it deep into your womb until he is sure that it has taken hold. You cannot pretend you haven’t thought about it before, the idea usually sending an embarrassed heat into your cheeks, but now - gods, now you needed it.

Completely breathless you moan, “Halsin I- ah-! please-! Fill me with your cubs!” These words were the last needed for Halsin to lose himself completely in you, driving himself into you with punishing strokes that cause you to arch yourself into him while moans and whispered curses fall from both your lips. The coil in your stomach is so tight again and when Halsin takes the hand from your hip to softly press on your lower belly you see stars. Your walls clench around Halsin’s cock and you feel him twitch inside you, a sign that he too is close to release. All it takes to send you over the edge is his finger pressed against your clit, your body shaking violently beneath him, toes curling, while waves of ecstasy course through you and you cry out his name.

With a last snap of his hips and a low moan, Halsin comes as well, twitching cock releasing hot spurts of cum inside your still fluttering walls. He continues to pump into you until the aftershocks of your shared orgasm have subsided, before he slowly pulls out. You collapse onto the mattress, exhaustion settling over your overstimulated body.

Halsin gets onto the bed with you, gently gathering you up in his arms and placing your head against his broad chest. “You’ve done so well for me, little flower”, he whispers into your ear, placing soft kisses on your face before he looks your body up and down. One of his hands comes up to stroke a strand of hair away from your damp forehead and to gently lift your chin in order to look you in the eyes. You note worry in his gaze, his brows furrowed in remorse when he plants a feather light kiss on your lips.

“I’ve hurt you”, he states. “I’m so sorry, my heart. I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”

You smile up at him and cuddle deeper into his arms before you shake your head. “Don’t apologise. I loved every second of it. There is no birthday present in this world that can ever match this”, you confess with a shy grin. “Although I have to admit I’m a little sore. You sure did your best to make sure I’m unable to walk tomorrow.”

Halsin chuckles. “I can help with that”, he answers with a sly smile, his free hand sliding down your body to stroke through your soft folds, muttering an incantation under his breath. As the familiar glow of the healing spell engulfs his fingers, you feel a rush of warmth where he touches you. A moan escapes your lips before you could stop it, eliciting a mischievous smirk from your lover as you hide your face against his chest in embarrassment.

“I’d be happy to go again, my love, but I think you need some rest first. Besides, we still have an Elderbrain to kill, so we’ll need our strength tomorrow.” You nod at that, the tiredness in your bones leaving you unable to object, even if you had wanted to. But you know he is right, so when Halsin wraps a blanket around you to carry you to the bathroom, you just relax into his chest, the sound of his steady breathing soothing you.

When the bathtub is filled with warm water, you are already half asleep, barely registering that Halsin is gently cleaning you up, rinsing the sweat from your hair and body and rubbing salve over the bite marks and the bruises on your hips once you are dry again.

You can hear the soft snores and deep breathing from your companions when Halsin brings you back into the room you share, all of them already fast asleep. Absentmindedly you wonder how long you and Halsin have been away, but the thought is gone as soon as Halsin places you on your bed.

“Goodnight, my little flower. Sleep well.” He gives you a kiss and turns to leave. You manage to grab his hand before he does, stopping him in his tracks.

“Stay with me tonight?” you mumble sleepily. Halsin smiles, warmth and adoration filling his chest as he carefully climbs next to you, the bedframe creaking slightly with his additional weight, and wraps his arms around your smaller figure. The thought of how your companions might react in the morning seeing you two in one bed briefly crosses your mind, but Halsin’s steady breathing and the soft pulse of his heart against your back soon drown out anything else as you drift to sleep in his warm embrace.

-------------------

Part 2 is here now!

[avionvadion]

Eleanora is going to be teaching all the boys the lyrics and moves to This Is Halloween and she's putting Sebek in the front of it all because he's the only one who actually made it to the hill and talked sense into Skully. XD

He is the best boy. She might actually ask the Mayor if he can make a "best boy award" because it be Sebek. Malleus is pouting, but he knows Sebek deserves the praise. Little does Sebek know, this event most likely earns him the honor (cough punishment cough) of being Eleanora's bodyguard via Malleus' orders.

Also, Skully is going to be the missing son of the "Halloween King" in my fanfic so he'll be very much alive.

For those curious (I'm taking many creative liberties with these events, goodness gracious) about the timeline: Skully happens in November. We meet Fellow and Gidel in October, but they don't join NRC until January because Fellow needs time to think about and realize some stuff before catching Kalim and asking if his previous offer was still open.

...Fellow is going to be Vice Dorm Leader. NO LISTEN OKAY HEAR ME OUT, IT MAKES SENSE.

He and Eleanora actually have a lot in common. Charismatic, are usually able to talk their way out of most situations, oldest of the group, big sibling figures, kind of jaded, and are both struggling but doing their best to survive despite circumstances and are incredibly extremely broke. Also his coat matches the Ramshackle blue and he has the little hat. He'd be able to keep Skully and Grim in line when Eleanora isn't there, and Gidel already listens to him! It just makes sense, y'know? XD In like the goofiest way. Also they both have canes.

...Honestly surprised no one's asked why El has a cane yet. I mentioned it before, but nothing. Hmm. Oh, well.

Also I might have drawn Gidel a bit too small since I headcanon him around ten or twelve-ish, but he is probably malnourished so him being shorter than he actually should be checks out.

Fellow is doing his best given he probably found Gidel when he was a teenager and the tiny child was probably a toddler then, but if tiny child doesn't get enough to eat (and we know there are days the two of them go without eating, based on the SSR vignette) then tiny child isn't gonna grow properly. So he being smoll makes sense.

CAN WE PLEASE MENTION THAT FELLOW PROBABLY CUTS GIDEL'S HAIR HIMSELF!??? LOOK AT THE BACKS OF THEIR HAIR. (Not in my drawing because it's my first time drawing them and I definitely got some of their hair wrong, so look at their actual official art) THEY'RE SO SIMILAR. FELLOW BE CUTTING GIDEL'S HAIR AND TRYING TO TEACH HIM WHAT LITTLE HE KNOWS OF THE ALPHABET/WHAT LITTLE HE KNOWS HOW TO READ AND PROBABLY JUST SAW THIS TINY TODDLER ON THE STREET AND WENT, "Okay, you're my little brother now" AND DECIDED TO RAISE HIM. THAT'S SO FREAKING CUTE. OH MY GODS.

Anyways, I love them. :3

The only one not going to be allowed at Ramshackle is Rollo XD boy tried to KILL Eleanora's dragon boyfriend. She has a grudge. Oh, he wants to be a visiting student? Hell nah. Screw you, Crowley, go ahead and blackmail her, she has Poma and Divus on her side. Rollo can find somewhere else to stay.

NO ROLLO IN RAMSHACKLE, SHE HAS A SWORD IN HER CANE AND SHE WILL USE IT ON HIM. (Thanks Ortho.)

[kumzorg]

ive finally managed to find some old art from 2022 yaay

old art related ramblings below

i had a really bad hard drive crash which resulted for all my stuff from 2020-2023 getting annihilated forever, and i managed to scrape some lost art and documents but i mostly had to built from the ground up now, BUT occasionally i manage to find either older savestates or (like in this case) old convos i had with people where i would share my art for fun, well, its still not on the same level as finding all of it, but even having bits and pieces archived makes me happy, i already had a bad past with relapses into negative habits which resulted in me hating everything i do, but now it happening without my personal decision finally made me realise how badly i need to have memories of my younger self preserved, ok it might sound a little sappy but im just glad that i can look at my past self and try to see what has changed and what has stayed the same, and the answer is me drawing random animal-eared agender chibis gotDAMN

(btw this isnt like worldbuilding or anything this is literally le random xd )

[darqx]

Some MORE BP/HH asks

Yes there are! The Battle Monks deal with those ones.

Yes it is! Or at least will be ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ I've been doing a lot of thumbnailing and once i finish this chapter i can possibly start actually making some pages lol.

His name is Zeke and he's a big (~6'8") demon softy who likes cooking :D And bacon 🥓

Is this chicken predominately supposed to be a pet or not cos BP!Zeke could very well just cook it.

Of course you can (please give credit for BP and say its an OC tho)! I'm honored that you want to :D However until i get BP out and about i probably can't interact with any art/info of BP OCs because this could be a problem if they turn out to be similar to any of my planned events/characters.

I kinda had no ideas for a doodle (sacrilege i know lol) but then remembered i had one doodle that I'm p sure never got put here.

I used this pic to reply to a friend once and it became one of our chat emotes lol.

He has a like...chateau/manor/whatever in the region that he rules over -nods- He doesn't live on Earth he just visits.

Yes

If i were to put it succinctly lol:

The main gang are/become friends, Caleb p much dislikes/is indifferent to everyone but particularly hates Izm and vice versa, the demons generally try to avoid Rire if they realise who he is, and Rire finds at least two people rather interesting.

Anon I'm also very confused about why you think bots(??) are a credible source of information |D; But to answer your question no he's not a demon.

I hate to say this but the demons already have marks indicative of themselves so, those for them XD

.D would maybe have something like the BP logo, Wei Ren a book, and Marcus could have a heart of embers or something 🤔

The demons I decided could hybridize with humans is actually somewhat random and based entirely on gut feeling lol. Half-breeds take more after the demon parent (as the genetics is stronger) but would have a lot less power than a full-fledged demon (and might be infertile, I haven't really thought about that aspect yet). Yes an abortion is possible.

All of my demon species have specific phenotypes. Eg Caleb's species has several different eye colours they can have, Caleb's happens to be green. If/when I make enough demon species I did have a tentative plan to make a field guide about them \o/

HH only ever existed as random one shots and stuff on my DA so if you were looking for like a webcomic you would be sorely disappointed lol.

To be fair to myself it DID actually have somewhat of a storyline but i never actually got around to it |D

LMAO XDD Ok, ok but listen if this happened it would only ever happen ONCE because omg have you ever had hair caught in your mouth? It is, the worst XD

Nope it is an all boys boarding school

It is a generally normal high school so normal high school subjects would apply haha, you know, things like English, Science, Maths, Art, Sport, Languages and various sub catergories etc.

[incorrectfatui]

ok only one person asked for this, but I'm really bored, so: memes about our government collapsing, here you go. feel free to ignore it otherwise, next post will be about more harbingers xD

But politics talk beyond this point- dw, I get it if you dont wanna see that

Context will be below the pictures- please keep in mind that german humor is...well, german. Also, I can't figure out how to post multiple pictures at once, so uh...this is gonna be a long one. ALSO look at the ALT text I tried my best to translate & give more context

So of course, everyone immediately started memeing about Lindner. Why? Because most of the country fucking hates the guy. I don't think I specified enough how awful he is. The current government is incredibly inneficient, and he's a major reason why. He's an ultra-capitalist, in love with a free market economy, frequently has temper tantrums in parliament, and is INCREDIBLY anti social. He wants higher pension ages, less subsidies for unemployed people, the works. What people are also making fun off is Scholz, our chancellor, who was practically nonexistent for the last 3 years, only to deliver a VICIOUS speech about how awful Lindner is. So yeah! Government collapse is fun if you have the right memes. Hope at least some of those were funny to you guys as well

thaaats most of the ones I could fit. Which brings me to: the context. oh my god where do i begin.

Okay, so, the german parliament is made out of multiple parties, right? When we have elections, the chancellor is from the party with the most votes, but they don't rule alone, because they need a majority (<50%), and we have so many parties that they don't get there. So, they have to form coalitions with the other parties. When they do that, the leaders of the other parties get to be in high positions as well. Every party that isn't in the coalition is the opposition.

More often than not, we have what is called a Grand Coalition- the two biggest parties, CDU and SPD. However, in our last elections (which was also the first time in 16 years that our chancellor changed), this did not happen. We instead got the so called traffic light coalition, made up of the SPD (winner, got the Chancellor), FDP (our other main protagonist in this story) and the Greens.

So, they've ruled for about 3 years now, and it's been an utter shitshow- because of multiple factors, of course, but one of the major ones was the FDP. See, the Greens and the SPD are (or, well, were, but thats for another story) more left leaning, ESPECIALLY on stuff like climate change, while the FDP are mostly focused on the economy. So, there's been lots of conflicts, and all the parties in the coalition, but especially the FDP, have lost immense support. The FDP to a point where they might not get ANY seats in parliament for the next election.

Now, some of our current biggest issues are inflation, climate change, and the war in Ukraine. I'm simplifying this to hell and back, but essentially, we have a so called debt-brake in our constitution, which means that the country cannot go over a certain amount of money. Sounds good, right? Well, not entirely. Right now, we are trying to go over this limit. See, the debt-brake has an intentional loophole, which says that in emergencies, you CAN go over it, like natural catastrophes (e.g. COVID).

Germany, right now, wants to fund our infrastrcuture, our military, Ukraine, and social subsidies. For this purpose, the SPD and Greens agreed to go over the limit. Except they can't, without the approval of their coalition partner, the FDP, and their finance minister, Lindner, who RUNS the FDP. They've been fighting about this for A WHILE, and yesterday, Scholz (the chancellor), gave Lindner an ultimatum: allow them to go over the limit, or get fired. Lindner asked for snap-elections instead, did not accept the proposal (which was already heavily in his favour) and got fired.

Which wouldn't be a problem is he was any common minister- but he's a coalition partner, so the coalition broke apart- and without the FDP, the SPD and the Greens alone do not hold a majority in parliament.

What this boils down to, is that we will likely have a minority-government (who will have BIG difficulties passing any laws) until January, and at the start of January, the Chancellor will call for a vote of confidence (yes, like in star wars), which he will lose. Meaning: Snap Elections in March (at the latest), less time for the parties to prepare their candidates, and MASSIVE profts for the right wing parties, which are currently leading in the polls.

[polaris-stuff]

Old Moon immediately dipping off to do his own stuff instead of being there for Sun, when Nexus' death isn't even emotionally impactful enough to him to justify wanting space, is #1 reminder why New Moon was the better brother because dude.

What the actual hell is currently more important to you right now than being in, at least the same area as Sun. Why?

Fr like, I understand that Moon is not good with his emotions or handling emotionally charged situations but- How can he just go to work when Sun is having a meltdown in his room? I could feel all of Solar's desire to slap Moon so hard.

It's- frustrating

Moon promised to be a better brother and he was "trying" but he keeps doing things that push Sun's boundaries over and over again; he keeps yelling at him when he's angry, he keeps pushing him too, he keeps not trying to understand Sun's feelings, he keeps wanting to kill every little problem. And Sun (and even Solar) have already told him a thousand times that killing is never the best option but nope! Old Moon wants to kill!

And now Sun is in his room crying with only Solar there to comfort him because they are the only ones who truly understand how tough the situation is. Sun lost a brother whom he himself saw born and helped raise. Solar lost the first person who welcomed him into a new home and was a safe place for a year. They are both devastated but OM? OM doesn't care, and if he does, he doesn't show it.

To OM, Nexus was just the impostor who usurped his position for a year, the villain who hurt his family, and now Nexus is dead so everything is okay now! (I'm looking at you two too, Lunar and Monty). I feel like Moon not wanting to go support Sun because he “doesn’t know how to handle emotions” and because he’s never done it before and “it would be weird to start now” is proof that he hasn’t really improved at all. Stop worrying about yourself and go give Sun a hug, for god's sake.

New Moon would have already showered Sun with hugs and reassuring words telling him that everything would be okay and that he is there for him, just like he helped Sun when the hallucinations with BM continued.

Sigh. And Lunar not showing even the slightest intention to go see if Sun was okay hurt me so much. Lunar has slowly stopped caring about his family and it's so frustrating to see him be so apathetic.

Welp, I went on a rant, I'm so sorry XD These episodes have been so anticlimactic and frustrating that I couldn't help it. I really have no ideas or hopes for anything to happen, I just want to see Sun and Solar talk about Nexus, remembering all the goods he did.

[once-upon-an-imagine]

You Keep Me Hangin' On - Steve Harrington

A/N: sooo, apparently it worked 😂😂😂 thank you to everyone who voted, I might keep this up since it helps me focus on a specific story😊 I mixed three different requests here so I really hope it makes sense, this one is mostly angsty but I am planning on a part two, so let me know what you think  

Requests - dawninparis​ asked: is this how you request something? i don’t know i’m a bit new to all this 😳 anyway i saw you were accepting st request so i was thinking maybe steve and reader are in an established relationship but with all the stuff happening in s4 and reader not being aware of all the supernatural stuff she gets jealous of all the time he spends with nancy and the fact he is hiding everything from you just to protect you and just basically a lot of angst (bc i like to suffer) and ending however u like even tho my heart is easily broken with sad endings 

- Anonymous asked: I would like to request a Steve story that takes place in season 4 where him and reader are dating already. Reader has noticed how awkward he has been around Nancy and vice versa. How they’ve been talking a lot more (good thing Eddie was there to keep them company😉). [full request here]  

- Anonymous asked: Hello babes, I'm not sure if you want to write this but may I request for a Steve Harrington angst to fluff fic? Haha! I just want to torture myself again with all these angsty stories. Somewhere around, reader is pining for steve and thought that she have a chance with steve but the latter thought that maybe he's still not over nancy. Reader felt hurt / embarassed by this and decided to date someone else, when she did steve realizes that she's the one that his heart has been longing for the whole time and not nancy. Thanks

Warnings: pretty angsty and Steve is kind of an asshole but also a jealous asshole xD and Jason (he deserves his own warning) let me know if I missed anything 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Things :) gif isn’t mine :D  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You Keep Me Hangin’ On

Set me free why don't you, babe Get out my life why don't you, babe 'Cause you don't really love me You just keep me hangin' on

You had known for a long time now. You had just, for some reason, held on to a stupid little hope that kept you hanging to this stupid little crush. Although it wasn't that little. And that voice in your head that kept you hanging sounded an awful lot like Robin insisting that Steve felt the same way you did.

You tried to believe her. You really did. Steve was very caring and affectionate towards you. You remembered the first time you drove him home, drunk, and he asked you to stay with him. And you did. And he said it felt nice to not wake up alone. And then, it became a natural thing between the two of you. He would call you whenever he needed you. And you would call him whenever you needed him. And he showed up. He always showed up. Which made you believe Robin when she said he felt the same way you did. But neither of you spoke about it. You hugged. You kissed. You did more than kiss. You couldn't imagine your life without him. But you weren't entirely sure if he could do the same. You feared that he could. He could live without you.

And right now, it was more evident than ever. You instantly dove into the water when he was pulled back into the lake. You pulled the bats off him and fought them with whatever you could find before Nancy, Robin, and Eddie also appeared to help. You were about to help him stop the bleeding right before Nancy ripped off the bottom of her blouse and started patching him up. And you saw it. You saw the way Steve looked at her.

"You're bleeding" you were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Eddie by your side.

"Huh?" you asked, confused.

"Your arm" he pointed out. "It's bleeding" he repeated and you looked down to see that he was right. You hadn't even noticed. You were bleeding. Badly.

"Holy shit!" you panicked a little, not really knowing what to do.

"Here" he said, gently grabbing your hand and taking the black bandana out of his back pocket.

"Oh, I don't want to stain your bandana. I know that's your favorite one" you told him, not really noticing the smile that appeared on his face when you did.

"Don't be ridiculous, princess. It's just a piece of fabric" he insisted, grabbing your hand and cleaning your wound gently. You lifted your head from your arm to watch Eddie as he worked on tightening his bandana around you. You found yourself smiling a little at how careful he was being. He did not seem like the loud, careless guy you always saw in school. "How's that? Is it too tight?" he asked, worriedly.

"N-no. That's perfect" you smiled. "Thank you, Eddie" you told him.

"You know, it was pretty badass, w-what you did" he chuckled.

"It was?" you asked, feeling a little nervous for some reason. You never really thought of yourself as badass enough to get that credit from Eddie Munson, who you considered to be one of the most badass people you knew.

"Yeah, I mean, jumping in the lake and fighting those bats. That was metal, princess" he smirked.

"You also jumped in the lake and fought those bats, Eddie" you reminded him.

"Yeah, but after all of you ladies did" he insisted.

"Well, you still did" you told him. "And that says a lot" you smiled.

"So, uh" Eddie cleared his throat, pulling away from you a little. "This place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?"

"Yeah, pretty much" you nodded.

"Wait, watch out for the vines" Nancy said as Robin started walking around. "It's all a hive mind" she explained.

"It's all a what?" Robin asked.

"All the creepy crawlies around here" you told her. "They're, like, one or something" you told her. "Step on a vine, you're stepping on a bat" you instructed. "You're stepping on Vecna" you finished.

"Shit" Eddie said, next to you.

"But everything from our world is still here, right? Except people?" Robin asked.

"As far as I understand it, yeah" Steve said.

"So, theoretically, we could go to the police station and steal guns and grenades and whatever we need to blow up those bat things that are guarding the gate" Robin suggested.

"I highly doubt the Hawkins PD has grenades, Robin" you told her. "But guns, yeah, sure."

"Well, we don't have to go all the way downtown for guns" Nancy added and everyone looked at her. "I have guns in my bedroom" she shrugged.

"You, Nancy Wheeler" Eddie started. "...have guns, plural, in your bedroom?"

"Full of surprises, isn't she?" Robin asked, excitedly.

"A Russian Makarov and a revolver" Nancy explained.

"Yeah, you almost shot me with that one" Steve said.

"You almost deserved it" Nancy smirked back at him.

You tried to hide your upset expression but Eddie seemed to notice before he threw his jean vest at Steve and he glared back at him a little.

"For your modesty, dude" he said, making Steve roll his eyes before putting it on.

"Hey, are you okay?" Steve asked, walking closer to you.

"I'm fine" you said with a firm smile.

"Did you hurt yourself?" he questioned, looking at your arm.

"Yeah, but don't worry. Eddie fixed it" you told him.

"Oh" Steve said, not entirely loving that part. "O-okay" he sighed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a scratch" he said, trying to make you laugh.

You barely smiled before you followed Eddie and Robin who were climbing on trees and rocks, careful not to step on the vines. When Robin accidentally stepped on a vine, the five of you felt the Earth moving under you when an earthquake happened. Your instinct almost made you run to Steve, but you saw he quickly grabbed Nancy, who was closer to him, and he pulled her to his side. You couldn't even register the whole thing before you felt two arms grabbing you and making you fall to the ground with him as you felt Eddie's arms tighten around you.

"Holy shit!" you heard Robin, not so far from you.

"So guns seem like a pretty good idea to me" Eddie said.

"Yeah, me too" you said, feeling your cheeks burn a little at how close you were to the metalhead and not noticing a pair of eyes glaring your way. "Uh- um" you cleared your throat. "Thanks" you smiled shyly.

"Don't mention it, princess" he said, helping you up.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

As the five of you walked to the Wheeler's house, Steve could barely register what Nancy was telling him. His eyes were glued to Robin, you, and Eddie walking ahead of them. Specifically between you and Eddie Munson. He noticed he was trying to make you laugh because he could see the worried look on your face. And the worst part was that he was succeeding. He didn't like the feeling he got whenever you laughed at something Eddie Munson said. He didn't like that you had his bandana on your arm. He didn't like that he was walking a little too close to you and the worst part was when he saw his hand trying to reach for yours.

"Uh, yeah, Nance, hold on a second" he said, not even trying to understand what she was talking about as he ran over to the trio in front of him.

"Hey, Eddie" Steve said, catching up with you. "Uh, could I... talk to you?" he asked, making Eddie look at you a little confused. You simply shrugged and Robin pulled you away to go join Nancy instead, leaving the two boys behind.

"What's up, Harrington?"

"Hey, man. Uh... Listen, I just, uh... I just want to say thanks. For saving my ass back there" he smiled.

"Shit. You saved your own ass, man" Eddie told him. "I mean, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there!"

"Ozzy?"

"When you took a bite out of that bat. Ozzy Osbourne? Black Sabbath? He bit a bat's head off onstage" he explained as Steve looked at him confused.

"I don't-"

"You know? Doesn't matter" he shrugged. "It's very metal, what you did. That's all I'm saying" he told him.

"Thanks" Steve smiled.

"Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on the matter, in fact" he explained.

"Henderson said that?"

"Oh yeah" Eddie nodded.

"Shit!"

"Kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It's kinda annoying, to be honest" he mocked Steve. "I don't even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but, uh, guess I got a little jealous, Steve" he smirked. "I guess I couldn't accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. Rich parents, popular, chicks love him. Not a douche? No way, man. No way" he chuckled. "That, like, flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine" he explained, making Steve laugh and roll his eyes a little. "Still super jealous as hell, by the way. Which is why I would never have jumped in that lake to save your ass. Not under any, uh... normal circumstances. Nope. Outside of D&D, I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run. Or at least that's what I've learned about myself this week" he muttered the last part.

"Give yourself a break, man" Steve insisted.

"See? The only reason I came in here was 'cause those ladies came in straight after you. Now, I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind" he explained. "But, your girl, right there" Eddie said, pointing at you, walking ahead of them. "She didn't waste a second. Not one second. She just dove right in" he told Steve as they stopped walking for a moment and Steve looked at you while you walked with Robin. "Now, I don't know what's going on or what happened between you two, but if I were you, I would not take her for granted, man. 'Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen" he told her. "And if you let her go, someone else might not be so stupid" he informed him.

"Are you talking about... someone in specific?" Steve asked, glaring a little at him.

"Maybe" Eddie shrugged, patting his back. "I'm just saying, Harrington. Don't be the douche I always thought you were" he said before he walked away from Steve.

As soon as you all got to Nancy's place, she, Robin, and Eddie started making their way upstairs. You were about to follow them when Steve gently pulled you back.

"Hey" Steve said, smiling nervously at you, a few steps down. "Uh- I just... um, I wanted to ask if uh-" he said, running a hand through his hair as he always did when he was nervous. "If w-we're okay? I mean, are you- uh are you feeling okay?"

"Are you?" you asked, a little confused.

"No- yeah, uh I'm fine" he sighed. "I just wanted to check if you were also... fine?"

"I'm fine" you said with a firm smile before you turned around and you tried going upstairs but Steve stopped you again.

"It's just um... you got hurt" he said, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb as he looked at the bandana wrapped around your arm.

"So did you" you told him. "And I think yours is... much worse" you said, looking at Nancy's blouse wrapped around him.

"No, it's fine" he insisted.

"Great. So, you're fine. I'm fine. We're both..." you sighed. "Just fine" you said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, frowning.

"Uh- nothing" you quickly said. "We should... get up there-"

"No, what did you mean by that?"

"Steve, this isn't the time or the place-"

"But you're upset!"

"No, I'm not, I just told you, everything is fine!" you insisted.

"Really? So, if everything is fine, why are you spending so much time with Munson?" Steve asked, accusingly.

"Ohh, you noticed that? I figured you'd be too busy with Nancy to even pay attention to anyone else!" you replied.

"Wait, is that what this is about?"

"No! I didn't mean to ugh-! Just... forget about it, okay? We have bigger things to-"

"Shhh!" he shushed you, holding up his finger.

"Um, excuse me?"

"Did you hear that?" he asked, looking the other way and walking away from you.

"Hear what?"

"Henderson!" he said, walking around the empty room.

"Well, it finally happened. He snapped" you muttered under your breath.

"HENDERSON!"

"What's going on?" Nancy asked, walking over to you with Robin, and Eddie.

"I don't know. He thinks he can hear Dustin-"

"I don't think! I can hear him! HENDERSON!"

And then, you heard it.

"Oh, my God! DUSTIN!"

"There has to be a way for them to hear us!" Eddie insisted as the five of you tried to look around the room.

"Wasn't there a way that Will communicated with Joyce when he was here?" Steve asked you, pointing his flashlight at the light in the middle of the living room.

"THE LIGHTS!"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Robin, for the fifteenth time, I'm okay" you replied as you two tried to grab anything you could use at the War Zone.

"It's just that you and Steve have barely spoken since-"

"Since he decided to stay back at the UpsideDown because Nancy was cursed by Vecna and he now refuses to leave her side?" you snapped a little. "Sorry" you sighed. "There's just... a lot going on right now" you told her.

"I know that, but... well, you and Eddie on the other hand-"

"What?" you asked, confused.

"Come on, you can't tell me that there's nothing there-" she chuckled.

"There's literally nothing there" you laughed. "I don't think Eddie likes me that way" you rolled your eyes.

"Do you like him that way?" she asked, curiously.

"N-no" you said, nervously. "I don't know. Like I said, there's too much going on right now. And Eddie has been nice to me. He's always nice to me and... I don't know this isn't the time to focus on stupid guys, okay?"

"Love, it's never the time to focus on stupid boys" she laughed, making you laugh a little too but she quickly stopped when she spotted Vickie on the other side of the War Zone with her boyfriend.

"Rob" you said, feeling sorry and placing your hand on her arm.

"Have you ever felt like someone just ripped out your heart?" she asked, looking back at you.

You smiled sadly at her and then looked past her. "Yeah, I... have an idea" you said silently and she followed your stare to see Steve laughing with Nancy at something she had said. "Aw, well that's fun for me" you smiled, sarcastically. "I'm gonna go over there, okay?" you quickly said, walking away from Robin as she rolled her eyes and walked over to Steve, punching his arm.

"Ouch! What the hell, Buckley?!"

"Well, I wouldn't expect to find you here" you turned around hearing that dreadful voice.

"J-Jason" you said, nervously. "Yeah, well, it's just... scary times" you smiled. "Uh- I'm... sorry about Chrissy" you told him.

"Want my advice?" he asked, getting closer to you. "Shotguns are not good for much of anything past killing small birds" he said. "I mean, they got power, sure, but not much range" he said, as you stepped backwards, creating space between the two of you but he got even closer. "And that's just gonna force you into close-range combat, then someone can just grab that barrel like this..." he said, grabbing the weapon from you. "...and redirect it" he said, smiling, making you feel uneasy. "Well, you look nervous" he chuckled.

"Uh -like I said" you tried to smile. "Scary times" you told him. "Could you let go, please?"

"Sorry?"

"She said 'let go'" you heard Steve behind you and you let out a sigh of relief.

"Harrington" he said, letting go of the gun. "Didn't see you there" he said, stepping away.

"Well, now you do so..." Steve said, nodding his head so he would take the hint.

"Lovely seeing you" Jason said, before turning to look back at you.

"Hey, you okay-?"

"We need to go, now" you said, grabbing his hand.

"But-"

"But nothing" you said, pulling him with you. "Eddie's outside" you whispered.

"Right" Steve muttered a bit upset. Munson.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hey" you were snapped out of your thoughts when Eddie sat down on the grass, next to you.

"Hi" you smiled.

"So... I guess this is a dumb question but... how are you feeling?"

"Funny, I was just going to ask you the same thing" you smiled.

"Me? I'm having the time of my life, princess. Are you kidding me? We're about to go to the UpsideDown and fight for our lives, really... it's where I pictured my life at this point, he chuckled, making you laugh a little.

"You know, you don't have to do this, Eddie" you insisted.

"Are you trying to rob me of my hero arc, princess?" he said, making you laugh, which you didn't know how was possible with how anxious you were feeling. "I was just going to tell you the same thing" he told you.

"It's just... you've been through a lot in like... what, 48 hours?"

"Yeah, it's been intense but... well, you being here kinda makes it better" he admitted.

"It does?" you asked, feeling your cheeks burn.

"Yeah" he insisted. "I mean, if... it were up to me, I wouldn't want the situation of us hanging out to be in a creepy world fighting this... monster but... I guess it's pretty badass" he chuckled.

"Well, if it involves you I would assume it would have to be badass" you smiled, making him blush a little. "So... if it were up to you... what would the situation be? U-us hanging out?"

"Well- uh-"

"Hey, Munson!" Steve said, suddenly appearing and interrupting the two of you. "Um... Henderson's asking for you" he said.

"Um- sure" Eddie said, looking back at you. "Sorry, princess. Raincheck?"

"Sure" you smiled as he got up and he helped you up too. "See you in a bit" you told him before Steve replaced his place.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" you asked, confused.

"You and Munson?"

"We were just talking" you shrugged.

"Is there something going on between the two of you?"

"What? What are you talking about, Steve?"

"I just find it interesting that every time I look at you he just happens to be there" he said, glaring at you a little.

"Well, maybe we were just talking about our part of the plan, since you made me stay back with him and Dustin!"

"I knew you were upset about that! Nancy and I just decided this was the best way to make the teams!"

"Oh, what a lovely coincidence that you get to go with Nancy!"

"And Robin!" he added. "Why does that make you so upset? Because you don't get to come and physically kill Vecna with us? I need you to stay back with Eddie and Dustin!"

"Why? Because you don't trust me as much as Nancy!? You don't-" you stopped yourself before you could say 'You don't love me as much as you love Nancy'.

"Nancy knows what she's doing!"

"Oh, and I don't? We were all down there, Steve! And in case you didn't notice, I was the first one to jump when you were dragged back into that lake! Not Nancy! I am just as capable as she is-!"

"I didn't say you weren't but I just..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I need you to stay back with Dustin and Eddie okay?"

"Fine!" you said, reluctantly. "I can't do this anymore Steve" you sighed.

"Sweetheart, I know it'll be hard, but we have this plan and-"

"No, not that! This!" you said pointing at him and yourself. "I am tired of just being your option when Nancy is not around!"

"That's not true and this isn't the time to-"

"Right... it's never the time" you sighed.

"Well, not when we're about to go face Vecna in the fucking UpsideDown!"

"You're going to face Vecna with Nancy and Robin! I'm staying back with Eddie and Dustin!"

"That's not how it is!"

"Yes, it is! That's the plan that you two came up with! Together!"

"Look, what do you want from me? It made more sense this way!"

"Just admit that you still have feelings for Nancy and be done with it so I can just... I don't know, move on!"

"M-move on? From us?"

"There is no us, Steve! Is there?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know, Steve! I'm tired! I'm tired and I can't do this anymore! It's not fair!"

"Ugh! I'm not trying to make you feel like this on purpose! I don't have feelings for Nancy, okay? Why does everyone think that I still have feelings for Nancy?"

"Oh, really? Everyone thinks so? So, I'm not the only one then!" you said, feeling your heart starting to break.

"No! I didn't mean it like that! Nancy is my friend! Okay! That is it! I care about her and I don't want her to die!"

"Nobody wants her to die, Steve! But you keep following her around like a lost puppy-!"

"How would you even know since you decided to stay with Munson every chance you get?! I can't believe you're being this dramatic over Nancy. SHE'S MY FRIEND!" he snapped. "Look, I don't want to fight with you, we are all on edge, and... I just... I need to do this, and I need you to stay with Dustin and Munson!"

"I don't want to fight with you either, Steve, and I know this is probably the worst possible time, I just-"

"Hey, guys!" Dustin shouted, interrupting you. "Time to go!"

Steve sighed, tiredly and looked back at you, not really knowing what else to say, so you did.

"You know what? You're right, we have more important things to deal with right now" you smiled with tears in your eyes and you placed your hand on his arm. You were about to follow Dustin but Steve pulled you back, pulling your hand.

"Listen, I care about Nancy, yes. Of course, I do. But, I swear, she's just my friend" he told you. "And I care about you too. I do, a lot" he said, nervously. But something wasn't letting you believe him anymore.

"As a friend?" you asked, with your voice breaking a little.

"It's... complicated" he said, making your heart break into little pieces. "And I swear we'll talk about it, after this, I just-" he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Something was telling you that he would never love you as he did Nancy. That little voice was becoming louder than Robin's telling you he loved you just as you loved him. And you felt your eyes watering. And you knew he could see it, but he didn't say anything. Because you knew time was running out and you had to follow Dustin. So you just smiled sadly at Steve and cupped his cheek with your hand.

"I love you, Steve" you whispered, having the strangest feeling in your heart that this may be the only chance you would get to tell him this, so you kissed his cheek. Like you always did and you gave him the saddest smile Steve had ever seen on someone. "And I really hope you get her back someday."

To Be Continued

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

[Part 2] 

A/N: sooo, I am definitely not evil enough to just leave it there :D this is definitely going to have a part two... so let me know what you think xD (and also, who you think she should stay with) 

[factual-fantasy]

Happy 1st Birthday Jangles!!

This post was originally going to be a humongous comic filled with lore, goofs, and even a bit of angst? 👀 And then have a funny/wholesome ending. Just like Bibi’s birthday comic.

But.. I ran into a problem. I didn’t know what to get for Jangles.

For Bibi’s present it was obvious what to get him. He wanted a real friend. Bringing Jangles to life was perfect and really tied the whole comic together.

But Jangles? What does he want? 

I wracked my brain for days. And when I finally thought of an idea? I only had 8 days left to make it happen. Sketch the comic out on paper, sketch it again in digital, line it, color it, backgrounds, dialogue.. I also had to make the actual present so that its picture could be used in the comic. All while having a very busy schedule for this week AND while working on Moon Malfunction..

I thought I could pull it off. So I got to sketching right away.

The comic would start with me in a big black blob. Locking myself away to try and get this project done as fast as possible. You know, like a total drama queen XD

Bibi and Jangles break in, and Bibi tries to talk to me but I ignore him. Meanwhile Jangles goes over to this goopy present by the wall. The present has a tag with Jangles name on it. As he goes to open it I do a spoopy jump scare and tell him not to.  Jangles and I then proceed to go back and fourth. “Why not?” Because its not good enough yet. “I’m sure its fine, what is it? What’s it for?” I cant tell you what its for because its not that day yet. “What is that day? And why cant we know about it?” “BECAUSE, its a S E C R E T-”

Bibi then says I need a break. I tell him I cant because I’m running out of time. I tell him that it needs to be posted on a specific day and that it has to be perfect but I don’t know what to do..

Jangles then deadpans “Its my birthday isn’t it?”

“...Yes. It is.”

“Okay? So what? I get wanting to post it on the day. But why all this pressure for the perfect gift?”

I explain that Bibi got a big special comic for his birthday. It had all the bells and whistles and it had the perfect gift. Jangles. And I wanted to do the same for him. I explained that the problem though was I haven’t really written enough of Jangles character to know what he would want.. I then wrote for Jangles response to be,

“Well what I dont want is you stressing yourself out over me.”

..I stopped sketching the comic at that point. I realized that I was stressing myself out way too much over this comic. It was 1 in the morning at that point. I was already pushing myself so hard to get this done on time and make it perfect that all the fun was just zapped right out of it. 

But I still worried a bit. I care about Jangles as my character and I wanted to do something cool for him. I wanted to post this at midnight on the dot, but that would require me to stay up until then when I’m still wiped out from the day before.. I also still wanted to get him a cool present.. But again I figured Jangles wouldn’t want me to stress over this “big comic” and “special gift” stuff.  So I just settled for a break. 

This entire post was prepared early, and posted when ever I was awake enough to post it. All the days beforehand I spent just taking my time with Moon Malfunction and focusing on my schedule. And on the day I’m posting it, I plan to draw nothing. Just relax and take a break from everything. I’ll get back around to all my projects tomorrow.

I think a post with minimal effort and day of no Tumblr, is probably exactly what Jangles would have wanted. So Happy Birthday Jangles! And thanks for the day off! XD

[dootznbootz]

I don't know about you, but I'm a bit mixed about Calypso in EPC. I mean, her songs are good, her singer's quite talented, so I don't have a problem... musically, at least.

But, story-wise, Calypso seems a bit too victim-like in my taste. "I'm not sorry for loving you" seems like it wants to make us sympathize with her and to consider her as Odysseus' friend.

While making her nuanced is interesting, the Epic fandom could be inclined to forget what she did to him in the Odyssey. And how miserable he was alongside her.

On the plus side, "Love in paradise" affirms she's the powerful one and Odysseus later confirms he doesn't love her romantically (plus Athena's 'he never cheated on his wife' line in "God games")

So it won't be detrimental for OdyPen 🥰.

What do you think ?

Oh, I'm definitely mixed about Calypso in Epic. As just like you said:

"While making her nuanced is interesting, the Epic fandom could be inclined to forget what she did to him in the Odyssey. And how miserable he was alongside her."

The Epic Fandom already DOES forget what happens in the Odyssey or think that they are the same thing. :/ I see stuff talking about Scylla in how Odysseus lights the torches and yet, it's tagged as "Odyssey". I love "light up six torches" as it's very dark but also very painful for Epic!Odysseus and that's really fun!

But I get saddened when people think that happened in the Odyssey ;~; as it's one of my favorite parts where Odysseus, knowing that Circe warned him, still goes to put on his armor to try and fight Scylla himself. He tried so fucking hard to save them. And they all grieved later on together. Eurylochus does mutiny in both but in the Odyssey, it isn't because of Scylla or anything. They were all just...Hungry ;~;

That's not even talking about how the Epic Fandom was when we only got the snippet of "There are other ways" ;~;

I still remember when there were jokes about how Odysseus is just like Hamilton and "Couldn't say No to this." Also Circe never did that to "protect her nymphs" in the Odyssey. She did it for funsies as she's a goddess and can do what she wants. That doesn't mean he was happy though.

I DO trust Jay to do well with Calypso's island. While I really am nervous about "I'm not Sorry for Loving you." like very nervous. I think HE'LL also make it clear that Odysseus isn't well or happy. As he has that cut song with the lyrics of:

"Is this some kind of trick? Pretending I can go Because if so, you're sick My heart's already broken"

So even though he cut that song because the beat and the music did NOT fit the situation, I'm very sure he'll have another like it showing Odysseus' despair and suffering.

I just... sighs I'm in a funky situation where I love Epic. I love it a lot. I think it's a genuinely good and fun retelling. I think while some spots are inaccurate, some are still really neat. I just get sad about this almost...disdain towards the actual Odyssey?

"Oh, Odysseus doesn't mention Penelope and Telemachus as much as he does in Epic-" Yes, he does. It's in so many of the metaphors and there's so many moments where he's clearly thinking about them. I love singing Penelope's name longingly too but an ancient epic poem is gonna be a lil different xD

"Oh Polites isn't really in it-" ...And?? That's okay. You enjoy Jay's character he created who really isn't in the Odyssey as much.

"Odysseus is such a manwhore in the Odyssey-" I am beating you over the head with a fucking rock.

Jay is clearly so fucking passionate and cares about this story so so much (he had a MENELAUS SONG (I grieve it's loss every day ;~; THEY CAN BOTH SIMP FOR THEIR HOT AF WIVES)) He had other characters planned!

But yeah ;~; I get so fucking sad every time someone talks about Epic being better than the Odyssey. Like even JAY wanted to clear that up that "hey, the Odyssey is really cool! I mean I wrote this because I love it so much." and yet... people don't wanna know or even TRY to understand what happens in the actual Epics.

I have hope. I just hope the FANDOM follows through.

[ourlittleuluru]

I HAVE SO MANY, BUT ALSO 0 THOUGHTS ON THE NEW MEMORY WITH XAVIER???? (Because I feel like my brain is entirely assaulted by so much... no brain cells survived)

Okay... but the vibe that I got previously where I mentioned that Xavier felt like he could finally bring his walls down... MAN JUST BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE DAM I TELLS YOU!

All in all, LOVE the story line and the development that happened within! Big character development too!

Full ramblings under the cut (ヘ ° w °;)ヘ (beware... it's a hecking long post...)

Off the start and there's already reference to their past lives being in the same school 😭

Of course, he made the first move, he was the one that even wanted to elope, but MC was dense (and also too responsible) 😤

Xavier... you and your technicalities. This man, seriously... And the fact that his profile has like... 0 information... huh. What a surprise, not. The way MC retorts thoooo

HE IS A PLANET THAT'S STRAYED FROM ORBIT இ௰இ And Xavier's been on his guard this whole time...

AND HELLO? NEWLYWED BANTER ALREADY???! CUTE??? 😩

ALSO THE FACT XAVIER SPUN THE STORY THAT HE BROKE AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY...! ELOPING!!! ANOTHER CALLBACKKKKK 😭😭😭

(and as usual, there's gotta be the gossiping asian aunties xd;;; )

Okay I need to stop it with the caps.... But I really can't help feeling like yelling into the void because all my brain cells are just being thrown all around by this memory. Okay, breathe...

Classic Xavier just... easily winning over the elderlies =w=;;; and then the corny (cringe to me) petnames tho 😭 stud muffin???? cutie patootie??? I can't evennnn

Okay the CN version, they just call each other baby/宝宝... the stark difference 🤣

it's still cute how they try to act so hard X'D but Xavier's totally just living out his fantasies at this point, I'm sure. Xavier's acting was very natural in a way. How easily he just leans on MC before, and calling her using a pet name, even just holding onto her after and naturally flowing into a "Come back soon" 🥺🥺🥺

Just a few days and they're already naturally living their domestic life, as if it's always been that way o(TヘTo)

Later on, Jenna commented on how MC has gotten thinner and MC was like thinking how most of the food was cooked by Xavier ToT Man is trying his hardest!

AND OKAY HELLO???! XAVIER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NUMBER 1????

MC totally is just letting Xavier use the kitchen???! No snappy remarks about kitchens on fire???

(and also MC just casually remembering what her at-home husband's favourite fruit is and just picking one up back for him 😭)

AND NO KITCHENS ON FIRE FOR REAL!!! I REPEAT NO FIRES IN THE KITCHEN! Xavier FINALLY can cook!?!! (but what's with the teasing Xavier ToT MARSHMALLOW SPAGHETTI?????)

His food is MC approved 😭😭😭😭 BABY BOY HAS GROWN!

And he just... casually indulged in her touch....

And why is it that after carrying out their mission, Xavier went from a simple white shirt, shows up in a whole getup? ToT but I'll take it! And MC being dense again and how Xavier just corrects her but she goes to hug him right away???? The whole 21 days to create a habit thing... And the way he asks for more?????? Man is slipping. He's about to just. Let it go.

And to think... the whole Kindled just started with MC's little push when Xavier replies vaguely as usual

Guess after 21 days of living out your dream life, nothing be holding him back at this point huh. And the way Xavier's tone just completely changed! HE BECAME SO SOFT AND LIKE NEEDY SOUNDING LIKE AHJDSHAFKLSDFL

BUT OML????! HELLO??? HOLD ON!!!

In the trailer, there were 2 kisses, right? MC just straight up snuck one! And Xavier went in for not one, BUT TWO! MORE TIMES. TWO!!

LOOK. THE FLOOD GATES HAVE OPENED. HE JUST BE LETTING ALL THE STUFF HE'S HELD BACK, OUT. Nothing is stopping him any more. And he's not about to let anything stop him after this, for sure.

Xavier finally can be himself. No facades, no alternate identities that he feels like he needs to put a distance with. Just as much as he loves every version of MC, he's dedicating every bit of him to MC 😭😭😭 I just... I can'tttttt. THIS WHOLE PART AFTER THE KINDLED BROKE ME...!

AND THEN HE SNEAKS IN ONE MORE FINAL KISS RIGHT AT THE END?!!! (≧﹏ ≦) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Okay. I'm done. I'm just... so done. I won't recover from this. I don't think I can... 💗_(:з)∠)_

[hauntedhopeghost]

Ghost ranting about Green's glasses because they needed to get this down on words

With the whole "Green eating grass video dropping" and stuff

I wanted to explain my rose/orange-colored glasses theory in more detail. Because I made an entire timeline just to try and prove this. And for the other post I only put pictures and I find it super interesting.

(I know, I made another post about this but I'm going to say it again)

So, a lot of people already know that Green's sunglasses, (which he wears more and more often throughout the influencer arc) are orange, and that they match up with Second's as seen in the episode Skyblock. And that Green's glasses first show up in the episode A Special Song. Which was mainly just for fun.

And now he wears it in multiple posts now, mainly when he's alone, I've noticed.

Now, the term rose-colored glasses means having a positive outlook on life, sometimes not noticing the negative things or choosing to ignore it.

Green's sunglasses are orange. orange-colored glasses.

The meaning of the color orange, according to the top Google result is this.

Optimism. Rose-colored glasses is literally another word for optimism. And happiness + enthusiasm which plays another role in this. (Mainly with the rick/stickroll and with how Green's channel originally started)

And then there's the negative side. Arrogance, pride, impatience.

Traits that a lot of us associate with how Green is. It almost makes too much sense.

And working through my timeline, I find he mainly only wears those glasses when he's alone. Another very interesting thing to think about. The only time he wears it around his friends is, again, the rickroll episode.

Edit: I actually got that wrong, he did wear it at the end of the Minecraft vlog, but that's when his friends left him when he was trying to promote Instagram. So they might have seen something he didn't, or it just helps this theory even more. (Thank you so much to @dobrinata for pointing this out to me and adding it onto my original post)

So why am I talking about this? It's just a pair of sunglasses that have nothing to do with the plot whatsoever

I think, with how things are going so far, the glasses are going to serve a kind of symbolism, with Green's outlook of everything and how his perception of the new fame would change things, even if it isn't true he may have a more warped view of what happened, maybe with the Color Gang.

(I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about XD)

They are sunglasses, too. He might be blind to what's going on... or...

(Just something I thought was interesting to think about)

So yeah, we might see more appearances of those glasses later on, but most likely, with how things are going so far, they'll disappear at the end, or at one point. Maybe it's the Color Gang, or maybe it's something else that he has to come to terms on his own.

Yeah uhh... thanks for coming to my talk where I rant about glasses lol-

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Something that I couldn't put into words but now I can about the Chaggie conflict in "Rosie" and one other reason it hurt: Charlie questioning Vaggie's loyalty. Yes, I know it wasn't because of Vaggie's origin but because of the lie itself but still hurts and clearly hurt Vaggie - she has been nothing but loyal and honest in Charlie's dream and has only ever done 1 lie in all of that. And when it's revealed, Charlie is now questioning everything - Again, I understand but it still hurts. And I know this might be redundant, I WANT this moment to come back again in S2. I don't know how but I want Vaggie to admit how angry/hurt it made her that Charlie questioned the loyalty she has given without asking for anything. What do you think?

i don't think Vaggie was even slightly angry with Charlie until her girlfriend made a magically binding pact with an unrepentant serial killer the second Vaggie wasn't looking XD

......we're asking a bit much by expecting the woman who hates and judges herself over her own mass murderer past... to then be upset that her girlfriend was also hurt and angry about that and reacted badly to randomly having all that dropped out of the clear blue sky in the middle of an already terrible day...

so in that ep got the vibe Vaggie spent the entire time feeling sick and guilty over the whole thing tbh. As usual

(and her feeling very very not good about seeing Alastor getting all creepy mentor with a Charlie who just got a wedge driven between her and her main emotional support- im 100% sure Vaggie's "Charlie can we talk-?" following Alastor's "good girl" thing was her wanting to know EXACTLY what deal her gf just made with Alastor and what the hell she was thinking and charlie are you sure Vaggie can't just stab him a little as a warning-)

But Vaggie, she's also not really uh. Not got a good track record of wanting or letting Charlie know about her feeling bad about stuff, emotions wise. Even when Charlie is right next to her reaching out. That's not her thing???

ah what the hell tangent time

like one big reason Vaggie DIDN'T fess up her past to Charlie was her being scared Charlie would be hurt by it and actually hate her for having done that, because Vaggie is being hurt by her past and hates herself for having it (re: every time she's called angels like herself deranged), so even though the blackmail against her made NO real sense and Adam's threat was just him not understanding that someone (charlie) could ACTUALLY believe in redemption for LITERALLY anyone (she does), it still pinged Vaggie's fear right in the heart, making the stuff like how Charlie is letting a known serial killer live in the hotel and help out with her and Vaggie's dream go RIGHT out the window-

(to be fair from Vaggie's pov there's probably a BIG difference between ending someone's mortal life on Earth (a la normal sinner seral killers) and presumably destroying their entire soul forever (re: exorcists) so like, that's kinda fair, but it still doesn't include how Charlie is WILLING TO WORK WITH AND THINK THE BEST OF HEAVEN AND THE EXORCISTS ANYWAY which is WHY she thought going to heaven to talk with them could work in the first place)

(to be extra fair it doesn't MATTER how much Vaggie trusts Charlie bc Vaggie had body parts ripped off and her eye permanently gouged out and was abandoned in hell by someone ELSE she use to trust once and THAT means really trusting people not to hate or abandon her is gonna take her putting some more blame on Adam and Lute and co and less on herself, because as long as she focuses on what SHE did (murderer) to make all this happen TO herself (filth like you doesn't deserve-) she's never gonna fully get that what happened to her was a choice shit people made (let's exterminate ppl for fun! let's rip off our comrade's wings and eye without hesitation!!!), one they didn't have to make, one she didn't make for them- meaning non-shit people like Charlie probably won't do that to her, actually, bc people like Charlie will care about Vaggie as a person outside of her being useful or being exactly what is wanted. Like how Charlie was more worried about Vaggie at the end of ep 3 than anything else and wouldn't let Vaggie blame herself and was fine with things being hard as long as she and Vaggie could face them together. Like how Charlie was calmed in the More Than Anything reprise not by Vaggie promising to fix everything but by Vaggie saying Charlie is important and wonderful to HER)

if anything Vaggie might be upset if she found out Charlie had less of a problem with the Exorcist thing than with the lying thing

If you (Vaggie) think you still need to EARN redemption, then having someone say your sins don't bother them so much can ironically make you panic and either think they're lying to you OR it can make you worry you've downplayed what you've done and are somehow tricking the person you love into believing you're a better person than you actually are and therefor might be taking advantage of them, which of course you don't want to do because you love them, which is a pretty big contradiction you probably won't notice is there

Sooooo i could see Vaggie spiraling into something like THAT but,

her be angry at Charlie for being upset over the thing Vaggie hates about herself? the mental health levels aren't good enough for that one yet XD

basically both Vaggie and Charlie got to live through the very fun experience of being trapped in your own head and trauma

anyway, the fact that Charlie didn't ask or want or LET Vaggie do an apology for any of that at the hotel gates says more than enough for me, for both of them. Just like with Vaggie putting her own fear and self-loathing onto Charlie, most of Charlie's pain in that ep didn't come from Vaggie's past or Vaggie's lie.

I've said Charlie's bad at figuring out what she's feeling and ep 7 is where it really bit her in the ass- she got hit with an identity crisis (turns out the one person who always believes in her didn't trust her enough to tell her this) (this on top of the epic fail of their shared dream to save sinners from extermination and the looming destruction of the hotel that represents that dream) and trauma trigger (what if Vaggie lied about all of that too, what if she never really loved or had faith in Charlie, what if Charlie is going to be alone again) without understanding that's what was going on or that it was something coming from herself as much as from Vaggie.

Being away from Vaggie didn't reduce Charlie's stress during that ep, it made it worse, until Rosie had to yoink her in for an emergency counseling session. Before that Charlie vents about how she told Vaggie everything and shared everything with her (the exorcist thing gets a TINY throwaway mention it is NOT the focus here) and when you add the lie revelation to how Vaggie asked to be alone on the roof in ep 3 instead of letting Charlie be there for her, it stops being about ONE lie TO Charlie, and turns into YEARS of lies ABOUT Charlie's place in Vaggie's life.

Which was terrifying and painful and... went away the MOMENT Charlie realized Vaggie did actual love her and believe in her, and was not actually going to leave her.

If actions mean more than words then their reunion at the hotel gates is them both saying the only thing either of them want to hear- I missed you, i love you, i want to be with you. Here's this horrible souvenir i picked up for your while we were on opposite sides of town and thanks babe im gonna fling myself into your open arms about it.

Vaggie hates herself too much to feel like Charlie owes her an apology for being hurt and angry at the Exorcist lie. It was a pretty big thing to keep hidden

i mean murder aside, Charlie had no idea Vaggie's opinions and advice about heaven was from personal experience, she probably assumed it was just normal sinner bias against the people who kill sinners and not, you know, Vaggie secretly dissing on how terrible her former boss and co-workers used to be. Maybe Charlie would've approached the talking to heaven differently if she'd known. Maybe she would've tried strangling Lute's hologram in ep 1. we will sadly never know

we DO know that Vaggie ran to hug Charlie right after the secret was revealed, which means Vaggie was mainly worried about Charlie being hurt by it, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for Vaggie to be upset at Charlie when Charlie does turn out to be hurt by it

so Vaggie wanting an apology from Charlie? I see her more wanting a very, very, VERY long hug

but if Charlie ever tries giving an apology anyway (a la the balcony scene in ep 3), that might just freak Vaggie out and fuck her up with "oh no my gf doesn't understand how bad the things i've done are am i tricking her am i using her would she be better off without me" issues for the foreseeable future ^w^;