#like this is day 6 or something and it practically been on the trending page the entire time...

[classycoffeecat]

okay but WHY is supernatural STILL trending

[technologyculturedneo]

Kink Factory [Pt2]

Pairing. Camboy!Donghyuck X Innocent!Reader ft boyfriend!Chenle and frat boy! Jaehyun

Summary. Your relationship with Chenle gets strained as you continue to seek Donghyuck's guidance in your private life. You'd disagree to call it cheating, but the more you spend time with Donghyuck, the more it tugs on your relationship with Chenle and the more you begin to fall for Donghyuck.

Genres. Angst. playboy meets innocent girl. vanilla girl becomes exotic. heartbreak

Warnings. Kinks mentioned (cuffs, nipple play, cunt play, bdsm). Smut (awkward/vanilla, rough positions, crying, dry humping, crampie). Caution (corrupt human behavior, degradation, non fluttering words)

Kink Factory: [Part 1] [Part2]

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With constant hits and popularity rising to you and Donghyuck, Donghyuck comes three times a week; Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, giving you enough time to spend with Chenle and also practice what you’ve learnt. Despite Chenle finishing in two minutes, you note that your foreplay life with him has evolved into something beautiful and you can tell that it’s something highly anticipated by the both of you.

There seems to be a spark that has lit up inside of you as well as Chenle. It seems that watching Sexy Sun please his new girl (you), has put Chenle in some sort of mode to always follow. Meaning, whatever Donghyuck did to you, Chenle would try it out.

Which also means that you’ve started anticipating Donghyuck’s every move. Although you’re still tense in some moments, he surely makes you feel calm when inserting his fingers inside of you, or staring so deep into your eyes with praises of how well you’re doing, and at times doing after care services with you making sure you’re cleaned up before he goes. Most of the times it worries you that Chenle can’t smell the scent of cigarettes around your room or he doesn’t notice the background that is similar to Sexy Sun, he doesn’t even realize that the vibrators you use are the same ones that Donghyuck uses in his live.

Other than that, days and weeks have passed and you’re feeling that the days are closing in on Donghyuck finally inserting himself inside of you. He used the vibrators to stretch you open, and now it’s time for him to start using the dildo’s to make it easier for you to accept his length in you, he even mentioned how he’d like to try and eat you out one day. And then finally he’ll put his actual dick inside of you. Donghyuck really has a gift and knows how to capture the audience attention as well as yours. Every night when he comes over his audience is never disappointed and they pay large amounts of money just seeing you being pleasured. He's really good at pleasing you and he's been keeping the tips up high- and every time he offers to pay you, you refuse and ask him to pay you with lessons.

And boy have the lessons been the best thing you’ve ever learnt in your entire life. How to please your boyfriend. Most of the times, Donghyuck jokes that these are things he wishes girls would do for him, but other than that he’s really gentle when teaching you all these tricks that he knows.

It kills you how one day you’ll have to stop seeing him.

Your main mission is pleasing Chenle, and if Chenle is pleased then it means you’d no longer need to give Donghyuck your service. But just as much as you’re using him, he’s also using you and you must admit that he makes a lot of money from kink factory. When he offers to pay you some of the amount, you always tell him to keep it because he deserves it more. And as days progress, you realize just how intelligent Donghyuck is. Aside from being a good teacher, Donghyuck excels in his studies. He could’ve been a nerd like you and Chenle but somehow he found himself part of the cool nerds. But they don’t call themselves nerds.

And by spending a few minutes with Donghyuck, you’ve sort of gotten to know his friends. They all tease how they want to enter in you, and every time you look uncomfortable, Donghyuck takes you away to tell you the next steps and so on. But none the less, you’ve gotten to know that they are nerds…just the cool kind. Renjun is in business marketing, Jaemin is in human resources management, Mark is in talent specialist acquisition training, Jeno studies cyber law, Donghyuck does computer robotics engineering and Jaehyun is in civil engineering. A smart duo but they all have their heads in the wrong places, especially when it comes to their future and what they’ll do.

All you can wonder now is if Donghyuck finally puts himself inside of you…will you still need him to teach you, or would you finally call it off? Because all you wanna do is please Chenle, and if you figure out how to get down to the problem…you might not need for Donghyuck to teach you.

Feeling troubled by your thoughts you decide that you'll voice it out with Donghyuck the next time you see him. Going to the canteen and up the flight of stairs, you nervously approach the table in which Donghyuck is always seated at with his friends. Instead of seeing him, you see all his other friends except him.

Upon not seeing him, you back slide and make your way out. Half way through– you almost bump into Chenle. Your eyes widen slightly for a second when seeing him. "Baby? What are you doing here?”

Chenle’s smile is warm when he embraces you in a hug and points to Jisung (one of his classmates). “Jisung wanted to show me something, are you headed to the lunch break spot now?”

“Uhm yeah,” You nod your head with a little smile. Despite the times you spend around Donghyuck, Chenle shouldn’t ever know what you did behind his back.

“I’ll come later on,” He notes. “I won’t be too long,”

“Okay,”

Parting ways yet again, you’re walking outside of the canteen still looking for Donghyuck, hoping that some way you can see him or spot his all too familiar leather jacket or cloud of smoke that sometimes surrounds him. Sending him a message on Kink Factory that you need to talk to him, you’re bummed when he doesn’t see the message immediately. Unfortunately, you can’t find him after your search and just decide to go and sit down. It’s in going to your usual spot by the steps do you already notice Chenle. From far he looks deep in thought and when you draw near to him, his eyes go up to yours with so much shock.

“What’s wrong baby?” You ask him taking a seat next to him and putting your hand on his shoulder.

“N-nothing. I was just thinking,” He mutters and removes his glasses and rubbing his eyes before he pulls them back on his face. “I need to get new eye glasses.”

You hum out and bring out your own food. Nothing is unusual, however the silence that soon follows makes you feel odd. You peek at him and he has his eyes glued to his pants, but this time he looks disheartened. “Babe?”

“Hm?” He snaps out of his daze. “Do I really not know how to please you?”

“Pardon?”

“Jisung was telling me that statistically speaking 4 out of 5 women pretend to be satisfied in bed and aren’t really enjoying the sex they have with their partner.” He lets out and worriedly looks between your eyes. “So I just wanna know, am I not good in bed? Do you pretend to enjoy it?”

Your hands land on his cheeks gently as you look at him deeply in his eyes. “Babe, why would you even think that? You think us having sex hasn’t been good lately? Don’t mind the statistics, and don’t be down casted. I’ve really been enjoying myself when we’re together in the room, when we’re trying new things and even when we make love. We’ve been together for a really long time and have explored together, so of course everything is perfect. What makes you think you’re not good in bed? Was it because of Jisung? And why would you guys even be discussing that?”

Chenle looks between your eyes and gets the slight sense of your earnest remark. A month ago you were too shy to even talk publicly about sex. But it’s like a new aura around you has you feeling confident. And if honest, Chenle feels almost pleased that he looks like he's doing a good job in satisfying you. But he can't help thinking what he's thinking after everything Jisung told him. "Jisung is a philosophy student, so he was just reading to me his essay and I felt attacked by it."

"Well don't," You pat his cheek. "You have noting to worry about. In fact, I'd even say that our sex life has improved tremendously, wouldn't you say so as well?"

You expect Chenle to answer in a heartbeat, but when he takes his time you wonder if he still has doubts. Okay maybe ending it with Donghyuck right now isn't a good idea - you need to make sure that Chenle as well feels confident in himself.

Your phone buzzes alerting you of Donghyuck's message in Kink Factory. "Oh I guess I have to go. See you?"

Chenle nods his head as you both kiss each others cheeks before you depart from him. Following Donghyuck's message whereby he tells you that he's in the robotics campus, you surely walk around using the school's safety map (located on section parts of the campus). Upon finding the pole with the label of Robotics, you carefully tread on unknown grounds. Thankfully you don't have to tread far as you spot Donghyuck on one of the buildings smoking by the terrace.

Hurrying in the building to not delay and waste time- you're halted in your tracks when hearing Donghyuck cuss out. "Fuck, I can't keep paying for all your debt mum. I also- mum- hold on what? Do you know how hard it is for me? I haven't paid my own fucking rent in 2 months, I'm living off of dry noodles because I can't even afford to buy my own water, I don’t even eat every single- what? - hold on- wait- mum- mum I fucking even barely have enough to pay for my textbooks- it's a fucking miracle I'm still on scholarship- what do you mean who cares about me? - Mum I'm a fucking male prostitute for crying out loud! Do you know what they call me? A gigolo. Do you know how fucking embarrassing it is to apply for a job and the first thing they see when searching me up is my dick down a throat of an old lady? Do you-"

Donghyuck's irritation causes his voice to grow louder, fairly bitter and tightly in irritation causing you to quickly hide behind the wall to avoid being seen by him. You contemplate leaving…seeing as you came during a bad time, however hearing him pour out his heart has you feeling somewhat nosy and intrigued…you also feel bad.

"I have to! Fuck. I can't believe you're actually fucking talking right now. You're the one who's supposed to look after me- not me always taking care of you. When have I ever gotten the chance to be a child- you always fucked things up- why do I- that's the point you- so fucking disown me already!"

You don't hear anything for a couple of minutes, and right before you decide to reveal yourself (in the most natural and 'non ease dropping manner') you hear an incredibly loud bang and you jerk by the harsh tone of Donghyuck's voice. "Fuck!" The banging happens a couple more times and you think that he’s probably beating something.

Waiting a few more minutes you're not expecting to hear a silent hiss, and then ultimately a sniff. It's at this point whereby you wonder whether you should leave or just enter… leaving seems to be the only option however your heart…hurts.

As you’re going down the stairs and leaving the Robotics building, a thought pops up in your head. It only takes a few steps away from the exit of the building before you race back to the building, climbing up the stairs again and briskly walking into the classroom. You're not surprised that the classroom is empty- otherwise he wasn't going to have that conversation so audibly- however you are surprised that he’s really alone. Why is there no one in this building? Aside from the few students outside, no one is inside. Walking in the class silently, you see him hunched over a desk with his whole head down.

As you get closer to him your eyes enlarge when taking notice of his bloody hand. He’s just staring at it! In alarm you quickly move towards him and place your bag on the desk while bringing out some soft wipes from your bag.

Donghyuck’s focus snaps back to reality when seeing your frail figure bring out some soft wipes and a bottle of water. He clears his throat, running his hand through his hair and wiping his eyes- however he’s quickly alert when noticing his hand is bloody and he feels pain over his knuckles that are cut deeply. “Shit.” He mumbles.

“It’s okay let me do it,” You timidly assure as you take a hold of his hand and start placing the wet wipes on the wounds of his knuckles which are bruised severely. So that’s where the sound came from. He was punching his hand. Just as you try to focus on healing the wound, Donghyuck takes a seat on the stool and tries to clear his head from the conversation he had with his mother. “What happened? How’d you get this wound and cut?”

That seems to do the trick as Donghyuck completely shuts down and pulls his hand away from yours. He digs into his school bag that’s nearby and takes out a pack of cigarettes. “Don’t worry about me. I’m good. So um," Donghyuck rubs the back of his neck, not minding that the blood is still pouring. Your eyes remain enlarged but you don’t try to help. He looks incredibly low and you’re not sure if he’s the violent type or not, so you try not to dwell in that situation. "I was hoping that… I know we still have some toys left, but I really wanted to have sex with you. It could bring in a lot of money...a huge amount of money. I know it feels rushed, but with proper marketing I know that we'll get a lot of money, but what do you think?”

He doesn’t even look at you when saying this, and it’s almost as if he’s ashamed of himself. After hearing the conversation, your mind is quick to piece his words together. He wants money.

“I know it’s a lot to ask…” Donghyuck breathes out still not looking at you. It must be a lot for him too, since he barely lights up his cigarette and his eyes are staring at his bloody hand.

“Wait, I actually had a proposal,” You promptly state. “Do you mind coming with me right now to my dorm?"

"Sure." He agrees in an instant and picks up his bag before stuffing some electronic components inside.

-

Upon getting inside your room, you make him acquainted with the kitchen as your briefly prepare a small meal. Donghyuck hadn't said anything the whole way while walking as his attention was on the ground (and you can only assume it's because of the conversation he had with his mother), so you're actually surprised when he speaks up. "What are you doing?"

Especially when you dish up for him some food and hand it over to him on the counter. He looks confused and you pay him no mind when taking a seat on the high stool next to him and bringing out a notepad. "I wanted to treat you to a meal and tell you something,"

Donghyuck looks nonchalant towards the food but deep down he's starving and his stomach is growling. He puts on an act of not really being hungry, but you urge him to eat.

"Please eat, seeing your bruised hand and drained face, I want you to have energy,"

Donghyuck breathes in before picking up the chopsticks. You quickly go into your washroom and bring out your first aid kit. You place it to the side as you watch him eating wholeheartedly with his mouth full. He's slurping down on the instant noodles but when you enter the room - he's quick in keeping a simple pace.

Before you can think about it, you’re reminded of how most of the times when Donghyuck would leave your house after each session, some of your left overs would be gone, or other times your fridge stock would be missing. You never assumed much of it because on a daily when Chenle would be over, he'd raid your fridge and take things out either when he would cook or when he wanted to snack. To think that Donghyuck could also have been lurking through each shelf in your kitchen makes you saddened. The poor guy had troubles that were unknown to the naked eye. After hearing the conversation with his mum, his parent who was supposed to be a parent, you heart actually broke at the type of dynamic they had. Donghyuck had taken the parental role while his mother had assumed child position.

Sitting down next to Donghyuck and watching him eat makes you feel at ease and you clear your throat. "While you eat I'm just gonna talk. So I was thinking, well I had a chat with my boyfriend and he looked down and a bit insecure that he didn't know how to please me. I know that our lessons are based on me trying to please him, but I wanted to ask you, what could make him feel less insecure when pleasing me?"

Donghyuck tries to hurry in swallowing his food yet you quickly stop him.

"Wait no, I've got more questions. So, based on you wanting us to have sex because it'll bring in more money, I was thinking of an idea,"

"What is it?" He asks with his mouth full.

You place your pen down and sit side ways so that you're facing him. "My boyfriend was watching an anime the other day and I saw this character that was cute and small and all the guys loved her."

"So cosplay?"

"Uhm,"

Donghyuck picks up a piece of smoked staked meat and dips it in some sauce. "Say ah," You open your mouth and say 'ah' and Donghyuck bites his lip. "You know babygirl, you've got such an attractive mouth. If we had to do cosplay, your mouth and body would be perfect. Can you say 'oppa' in a cute way?"

"Oppa~"

"Fuck, that's hot," Donghyuck chuckles and finds you another meat. He nods his head and hums out. "By the way, the food is delicious,"

"Thank you," You smile. "So what do you think?"

"I like the concept of cosplaying, and a mukbang, but I still think sex could bring us a lot of money,"

You close your lips and tilt it to one side. "Don't you want to test out the dildos and other toys on me first?"

Donghyuck doesn't need to prompt more out of you when seeing your nervous face. He too knows that you're not ready and forcing you into something that makes you uncomfortable will make the viewers all the more reluctant to watch it. Of course there would be those hardcore 'rape her' comments that pop here and there but after reconciling with you that day- he began respecting your boundary a bit more.

You were a fragile girl with a body that still needed to learn.

However, he needed money ASAP.

"How about this?" Donghyuck's ears are perked when hearing another proposal from you. "It seems like you need money and I-"

"No." Donghyuck can already see where you're headed and wholeheartedly refuses. There was nothing more degrading for him then being offered money from somebody. It always felt like pity cash. And he didn't want to be pitied. Better die in debt then have everyone knowing he was strapped in debt. Besides he has been with you for a long time to know that you're actually a very giving friend.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way." You meekly say. "I meant that we could film more content on days as well as nights, that way your ratings and views can go up and then also people can tip more."

Donghyuck considers the idea and hums before nodding his head. "Day content sounds good. Could we try one now?"

"N-now?" Your eyes pop and you hold onto your seat.

Donghyuck nods his head, eating the last bowl of food while he stands up and walks to your room. You follow behind him like a puppy and tie your hair back when Donghyuck takes a look at you. As always he's always prepared with a mask and gives it to you. You put it around your mouth and wait for Donghyuck's next approach. He gets out his phone going onto camera.

Starting the recording he approaches you with his phone in his hand and with the other hand he palms your breast softly and slowly almost kneading it like dough. Your tits react and he dips his hand inside your shirt pulling the material down and pulling out your breast from it's bra placement. Your pink nipple has him feeling aroused by how perky it becomes. "Wouldn't you want to pierce these lovely beauties?"

By his comment, ideas pop in his head for a new type of content.

"Babygirl, how familiar are you with BDSM?"

-

[Sexy Sun Live...]

During the night, you're a moaning mess when Donghyuck applies the pressure on the nipple tweezers over your boobs by pulling on them.

"Damn, you've got such nice tits," You're laying flat on the bed trying to breathe over the mask covering your face. But it's so hard to breathe when every breath that leaves your mouth is a gasp of arousal and it only makes the space around your mouth feel hot. Your body is in heaps of sweat and with your continuous soft breaths Donghyuck is easily turned on by your exotic sweaty but cute form.

Donghyuck despite not liking bondages kink, finds himself taking a liking in pleasing your body, reason being because he loves your eyes. His eyes are stuck on yours. With every blink you do they're rolling in pleasure and sleekly making you look high. He's watched Hentai before and never thought any human girl could replicate the lust intoxication look without cosplay makeup, yet here you are looking dizzy and drunk with pleasure and he can't stop looking. If he could he would've masturbated to your sight.

"Fuck, you look hot,"

Donghyuck has the camera in an angle that's diagonal to the bed. Meaning the viewers can see your body spread out on the bed with him holding one leg over his shoulder to allow for better viewing on your whole body. While one hand pulls on the nipple tweezers over your boobs, his other hand is playing with the tail butt plug on your anus. There's a weird pain sensation that spreads across your body. By the amount of pain over your boobs, you're surprised that it turns you on when Donghyuck pulls on it and plays with your tits. And while there's a literal clog being plugged on your booty hole your surprised that as Donghyuck Wiggles and pulls on the tail do you feel oddly good. He then moves over to your holes and applies pressure over your pussy - and that alone makes your anus (that's plugged with the butt plug) feel hot and you just want to rub it to add onto the oddly weird pain sensation.

When suggesting cosplay to Donghyuck you didn't think that he'd try it the first night. You've got new toys such as a butt plug designed in a hairy tail for some kind of pink fox, you've got matching pink fox ears and a fox mask.

Your hands are in a knot above your head and Donghyuck likes how you look when you can barely hold still. The whole room smells like sex; sweat, semen, sweat cream and perfume. "Can I kiss you?"

Your eyes enlarge but it doesn't stop Donghyuck from pulling your mask down your chin and planting his lips over yours. His tongue slides into your mouth and you engage with his as you slide over his tongue making out. It's a sloppy kiss that's full of smooches and distracts you from Donghyuck's sneaky fingers that slides your leg off his shoulder and uses his other hand to rub your wet holes while the other holds onto a dildo.

As you and Donghyuck discussed, Donghyuck prepares your holes by playing with a squishy dildo over your slippery slope. You're shivering when Donghyuck enters just the tip, and this reminds you of Chenle and his kink for only adding his tip. According to Donghyuck, your boyfriend gets off to just a tip kink and that's a normal and common thing for guys.

However recalling Donghyuck's words only increases your anxiety levels - especially when he pushes the enlarged dildo into your heated core, which is already stretching wide to accomodate the length. Your hefty moan turns into screeches of pleasure making Donghyuck smile inbetween the kiss. Breaking free from the kiss, Donghyuck gets a hold of your legs that seize to close- he holds onto your juicy thigh and instantly pulls out the dildo as you groan out in ecstasy making him laugh. "You're already dick hungry and this isn't even a real dick,"

Donghyuck turns you around on the bed and prompts your butt up. Instead of your butt facing the camera, Donghyuck has your face in direct view of the camera, so together with your mask, you look innocent and so ready for the dick.

"This position is better when getting that dick," Donghyuck says and his eyes focus lustfully on the toy that gets engulfed and swamped into your glory hole. Your loud moan and eyes rolling around don't go unnoticed by all the thousands of viewers watching the cam.

The moment Donghyuck begins moving the rubber toy in and out of your pussy at a pace that you've never experienced - you lose all control of your body and all the gestures it makes. If not for the mask everyone would've seen just how dick-struck you are. You're drooling and you're tongue is out. Donghyuck slaps on your butt and you feel like you can levitate. You can't take it and even though it's still early to cum, you do. But that doesn't stop Donghyuck from going on. In fact with the tweezers over your boobs you still feel high and horny.

Donghyuck out of nowhere takes it out, and slides his head underneath your body. "Shit. Sit up babygirl,"

Your body is trembling and you're still trying to catch your breath when breathing out loud like a dog panting. Snapping back to reality you look down and see Donghyuck right over your pussy.

"Sit on my face,"

You have no time to process his command when his hands wrap around your thighs and he pulls you down to his face. This is something you've never felt before; his nose, his tongue- his face! At this point you're a Hentai character who squeals repeatedly like a child and are in heat. Your toes are curling at every sucking and tongue flicker from Donghyuck. His whole mouth eats you out and you are sure that you can see the stars from how far your eyes have rolled back and you can see the open curtains with the gobsmacking view.

Unaware, you're riding Donghyuck's face just as much as he's eating you out. Jaehyun was right when he said you tasted like a pineapple. You're so sweet and sour that it's mouth watering for Donghyuck, he can't stop sucking you and slurping on your juices. You lose your mind when he he shakes his head and his warm tongue rizzes up your lower half.

"Donghyuck!" You yelp out in wild ecstasy.

While the camera stops recoding as the song ends, Donghyuck doesn't stop pleasing you. And even if you hear the song over and you pick your eyes open to see the camera red recoding light off, you don't stop him. You're both so lost in the pleasure that it takes Donghyuck's phone ringing to snap you out of it. While you're a mess, Donghyuck laughs when he lays you on the bed and begins to undo your ropes and removes your mask. You can barely look at him as your eyes are still trying to adjust.

Donghyuck smiles and pats your cheeks of your worn out face. "You did good babygirl,"

You're too tired to move, so you just lay there like you're dead. Donghyuck performs aftercare services for you and cleans you up, and at the same time cleans up your room too. And throughout the process he's talking about how you're ready for him but you'd still need more practice at taking in dick.

"Speaking of which, can you ride?"

"Ride what?" You enquire.

"Dick," Donghyuck comes back with your granny panty and a shirt. "Can you ride dick?"

You shake your head and sit up to put on the shirt and underwear while removing the fox ears. "I've never done that,"

"Wow, your boyfriend has done you dirty," He sits on your bed and watches you drop to the side while looking at him. "You're basically telling me your boyfriend has never given you control. How're you feeling now? Think you can move?"

"I'm tired,"

Donghyuck smirks but still lays next to you. "Get on me,"

"Donghyuck-"

"Come on babygirl, you did so good, I wanna teach you something," His side gaze over your face has you sighing out before you drape your leg over him and get up to properly align yourself on him. Donghyuck shifts your body lower so that you're sitting on his dick. "Now, I want you to ride me as best as you can,"

"Ride?"

"Like you're riding a horse,"

"Okay," With a little help Donghyuck bucks your hips forward and you get the gist of it by sliding over him. Your eyes enlarge greatly when feeling a heavy force grow.

"Fuck, that's a boner. Keep going," You do as told and from your view up wards, seeing Donghyuck with his eye shut and head back you feel a bit confident to try something. Which is to go a bit faster and allow yourself to move your own hips. "Shit, that's it, keep going,"

And you keep going by circling your waist and trying to find out what feels more good. When you lean back stretching your arms to hold onto his legs behind you, it drives him crazy as his chest begins to rise and fall, meanwhile leaning forward with your hands on his shoulders has him bucking his hips up and down and he's telling you not to stop. Feeling his boner and dry humping him is a new experience that has you enjoying each and every second. Your horny pussy gets wet while Donghyuck's thrusts up into you has you both making eye contact and looking at each other deeply while he shows you how to ride. It comes to a point where Donghyuck has to grip your hips to stop you from going on as he can't handle the erection and burst if excitement.

You smile proudly having achieved his praise, yet you don't get off him. "Hey Donghyuck,"

"Yeah," Donghyuck pats your thigh and runs his hand over them.

"I've just come to realise that you're incredibly smart," You allow your hands to play with the ends of his shirt. "So why is it that you do this,"

You don't even have to go deep in explanation for Donghyuck to understand you. He contemplates in his head of whether to open up to you or not. The decision comes to a conclusion when he sees how vulnerable you are… Or it could be how pussy drunk he is and feeling your covered pussy over his dick makes him soft. "I…" It's shameful to say especially when looking at you, but looking into your eyes has him opening up. "You know babygirl, I'm broke. And being broke, will drive you into doing crazy things, hence my secret kinky life at kink Factory,"

You nod your head listening to him. Seeing how he reacted to your pity sympathy character, you try a different approach. "Would you still reject my money if I think you genuinely deserved it? For pleasing me and making me feel good?"

"My pride would go down." Donghyuck admits.

"There's nothing wrong with a male asking for money. I mean, if you can do it to a bunch of strangers online at kink Factory, why can't I spoil you?" You shrug your shoulders looking deep into his eyes. "I wanna spoil you,"

Donghyuck smirks at your comment. "It's different. I can take advantage of people online. I can't do that to you, you're… too innocent."

Your eyes widen in shock. Is he seriously talking about 'innocence'? "What are you even saying?"

He laughs lightly looking at your thighs. He makes an effort to sit up and you immediately try to get off him, but he holds you straight in one position. He sits up and drags his body back against the headboard before gripping your thighs and pulling you back on top of him so that you're straddling him.

You're even looking into his eyes, as he does the same with you. "I'm saying that I'd rather do this dirty thing with someone else."

"Oh." Well you guess there was always some truth to what Donghyuck said. "You won't do it with me because I'm innocent?"

"And kind. You're thoughtful too." Donghyuck meekly smiles. "You know, I was actually in a bad headspace this afternoon when you came to see me. I was about to have sex with you for money. Literally. But then, when you proposed your idea, I thought about you for a bit. You seemed like the kindest person I had ever met in a while and, well, after you cooked for me I fell in love,"

You laugh at this comment causing him to chuckle. The way his voice drops is so soft and sincere and, if anyone was to hear him speak this way they'd think he was your boyfriend. "Tell you what, exam period is about to start, if you like, you can come over and I'll cook for you. You could even study here if you want,"

"And your boyfriend?" Donghyuck doesn't know why it's a bitter word to say, but when he says it his eyes move to your lips. The kiss he had with you before inserting the dildo inside was so warm. He hasn't kissed anyone in a while so kissing you felt so warm and in that moment…as well as this moment, it felt like you belonged just for him. "What about your boyfriend?" Donghyuck let's go of your thighs by the bizarre thoughts in his head.

"During exams period he's on boyfriend hiatus," You smile, and Donghyuck swears that he can feel something inside his heart move by your smile.

"I think I should be going," He says after a while. "Oh yeah, we didn't even read the comments,"

Your legs feel cold when Donghyuck gets up and moves towards his laptop. Before he can even pick it up and bring it over to the bed - he's frozen on the spot by the amount of tips he sees. "No way."

"What?"

"We made 157,000 tips-" Donghyuck's eyes enlarge.

You don't know if that's a lot but compared to what he said he used to make which was 25,000 tips- you jolt when he cheers aloud and runs to the bed as his lips instantly attach to yours. The kiss is deep as he can't stop the excitement oozing out of him.

Parting from your lips he groans out in ecstasy. "This is greatest nights of my life," Taking his laptop, he returns on the bed and moves past the comments.

Sliding past the comments, your smile grows just from seeing him so happy. "They really like you babygirl, shit this is grand,"

While Donghyuck goes through the comments your eyes slowly close. It's not until your head is just hanging on his shoulder does Donghyuck notice you. Without much hesitation he carefully lays you down on the bed and covers you up. "You did good babygirl,"

-

Days and weeks pass with you and Donghyuck meeting up often for causality rather then sexual transaction. The tips converted to cash really helped him out. It's through his expenses that you got to learn more about Donghyuck. He's an aspiring Technician who loves creating gadgetry. He buys parts and compiles then together to create a working machine that operates. His presentations are 80's inspired and are aesthetically pleasing, but you're highly impressed by his commitment and dedication. To top it off, it's during exams period that you truly learn that he's a beast when it comes to studying. He uses the money to pass for his exam fees and uses portions of it to buy textbooks that he needs. You also learn officially that he's on scholarship. He often comes by your dorm room to take you up on your offer of both eating and studying (studying at your place is better because it's quiet and not like his rowdy apartment with other guys who walk in to discuss other things with him).

It's obvious that something has changed. Maybe you've both become trusting towards each other; he told you about his crisis with his mum. And how after his parents divorced she hadn't been strong on her own. She turned into prostitution and when Donghyuck was barely of age, she introduced him into that life. The night when he told you that, you felt it in your soul that he trusted completely.

Aside from twist, the both of you have been spending a lot of time together physically. As stated, exam period reduced the amount of times you'd engage in sexual activity, but that didn't mean that Donghyuck ignored you like he would in the past. No, he came to your dorm regularly to do things that you considered friends would do. For crying out loud you even Netflix and chilled with him to anime!

And on his end, things have changed because he's started taking an interest in you… He never missed a bit to mention how he prefers spending time with you then with his friends.

Having his lips on yours regularly should raise flags but it hasn't. Sometimes you kiss for his 30 second reels, other times he kisses you for good luck- because lately he's believed that ever since you helped him in surpassing his normal tips rate then it meant that you were a girl full of luck- hence his usual kisses.

Not only that, but you've gotten a bit more comfortable with your body around him. While his lives were cut down to once a week, he began uploading shorts and reels frequently. The shorts would be you with your mask dressed in cosplay clothes before it would cut to the next scene of him fingering you, other reels had him kissing you by cropping off the top of your face to only show yours and his lips together, and because he's taken a liking to bondage, he'd have you in knots around your ankles and wrists while you were naked and he'd slap your butt continuously watching it turn red, or have you try out the sponsored stuff that producers asked him to sell. The new toys were painful, but strangely really good.

The pain turned you on. And because his tips went up, so did his status on Kink Factory. He was now being sponsored with BDSM bondage toys and even cool cosplay outfits for you. While you never managed your own account, you started doing it for the fun of it. Having thousands of guys message you was hot. By posting little shots of your body here and there, never your face just your body. However when Donghyuck found out, he straight up asked you to not do it, to not sell yourself or your body online. He never did fan service as he said it's full of creeps, and it limited your promotion chances as in if employers searched your name they'd come to your account. If anything Donghyuck really didn't want you involved with the app- and in some way you understood especially when he mentioned that Chenle wouldn't appreciate random guys sending his girlfriend dick picks. And he wasn't lying, because your account was full and filled with thirsty horny guys.

So you removed your content and just stuck to normal social media. Donghyuck followed you! And even though for you it was something, for everyone else around him…it was weird. But who cares.

Aside from that, it's daily and nightly when you see Donghyuck in your house - much more than Chenle.

The other day when Donghyuck came over to study, you were on the bed resting up and before you knew it, he came up behind you and begin massaging your butt and shoulders, offering you tea and plainly being your diary where you complained about exams and Chenle's disappearance. Being with Donghyuck felt good, and that was a problem.

A lot of the things feel good with him. You know they're wrong, but they feel good. The way he rakes your hair or stands around you when you're cooking - or even causally tells you things like a friend would makes you feel some sort of way. If it's not him talking in your ear or him hugging you whenever you need a hug, then it's him sending you memes featuring himself and his gadgetry, this friendship has escalated into something that you don't even know. He even wonders about your studies and compliments you proudly when you bring good results back.

It almost feels like he's your boyfriend.

And it's when you begin to think like that, that you actually wonder where your real boyfriend is. The only reason Donghyuck's been consistent is because Chenle had seriously been MIA. Missing In Action. What was supposed to be a boyfriend hiatus turned into Chenle not pitching up once around you.

You thought you'd see Chenle at school or even during breaks but no, you always say alone and if lucky Donghyuck would find you and sit next to you while showing you his latest self built gadgetry and how it worked. Which even lead you to introducing Donghyuck to a classmate of yours Lee Taeyong who did Computer Science. Upon them meeting Donghyuck advertised his gadgets and demonstrated his skills of fixing a busted up laptop and that got him a solid intern position in a prestigious company.

So when Donghyuck comes over to your dorm for Kink Factory activity and recording, he doesn't rush straight into it like he would do in the past, instead he talks to you as he's been doing lately. Gosh, one time you both spoke before the live and never ended up doing it because you guys were deeply talking.

"I've been thinking," Donghyuck takes a seat next to you on the bed after setting up everything. "After tonight…I think it would be good to close my channel,"

Your ears perk up to that news, a smile groans on your face. "It's about time, I've been telling you that you're too smart for this. And from the time of getting to know you, I realised you weren't even a pervert who liked sex. You're just a person who had no other option. Well you had options you just chose the cheating route."

"I don't even like sex that much. It's draining." Donghyuck chortles, a smirk rising to his face. "Honestly with the amount of time I spent eating you out or fingering you or playing with the toys, it allowed my dick to rest and surely now, I feel healthy. I know this is overshare but really I feel like I've got my flow back,"

"Overshare or not, you always need to be healthy," You smile and bump into his shoulder with yours. "And I'm happy that you're healthy, you've been eating well too,"

"All thanks to you, my personal chef," he pats your head. "However I wanted to do something for you,"

"For me?"

Donghyuck nods his head. "Your boyfriend is one lucky guy," Donghyuck mutters. "So I'd rather we remained friends,"

And that word scares you. You can't say that all of a sudden you're in love with this guy who's been pleasing you and giving pleasure to your body. But you can say you've become attached to him and have seen him slowly opening up and all the cracks around him have come down. You don't love him, but you like him. Like him enough to not want to let this go.

"You don't like the sound of that either, do you?"

"It's not that I don't like it," You breathe in. "It's just, I started this whole thing with the intention to please my boyfriend in our sex life. But in doing it I realised that he had his own tip-only whatever kink, and he's pretty open in doing new things. But since I haven't seen him lately to practice the new stuff we've learnt, it's left me and you learning more about each other. I don't mind being friends, I just don't know if you'd still wanna be friends with me if we don't have s-sex,"

"That's not true at all," Donghyuck immediately says once you finish. "Take these past few weeks. We've spent more time talking to each other instead of pleasing each other. Which means that I like talking to you a lot more than we have sex. And plus we haven't even had sex yet,"

You lightly smile when Donghyuck wraps his arm around you and lays his head on yours.

"So what did you want to do for me?"

Donghyuck breathes in. "Well after tonight's last activity, I wanted us to just spoil each other. To thank you and to repay you for all your kindness by spending a day together."

"Last activity," You say. "What's it going to be?"

"Probably all the things you'd need to know in pleasing your boyfriend,"

And like usual Donghyuck sets a timer and gets back on the bed. Tonight there's no cosplay, no apron, no fancy outfit. You're in your pajamas and he's in his black clothes. The only thing you have is a mask, but it's under your chin as Donghyuck dives in for your lips.

By habit your body goes on top of him as he liked it better when you were on top. He smiles into the kiss when you settle down in straddling him. "Love it when you're on top,"

The night feels long when Donghyuck is removing your shirt, as you're taking off his shirt for the first time. Something about removing his shirt feels intimate. He's letting you be intimate with him. His warm hands go up your body and land on your back. Your lips are still locked with his and you can feel how hot his skin is under you. It makes you want to get closer to him, but you don't want to leave any gaps for space between the two of you. You keep your eyes closed. You've never been more content. He pulls away from the kiss and traces his lips over your cheek and neck. He unclips your bra and helps you remove it.

Unaware that the the live cam began a while ago, you're both aroused and deeply attached to each other that you don't even hear the music that starts playing.

From the camera angle and view, the viewers have a good shot of Donghyuck's spread legs and your body on top of it. It may not be visible because he's wearing black pants but for the most parts, his boner is evident when you roll your hips over him.

Jaemin bites his lips as he rubs over his boner in his pants while typing in the comments section. "Damn,"

Renjun sits up with his laptop over his thighs as he watches the screen of you and Donghyuck looking so hot and bothered and intimate. Lately with the amount of money he's been making, a lot of smart decisions have been going around. So as Renjun sees this, it just confirms his suspicions.

Flashback

"You like her don't you," Renjun starts.

Donghyuck closes the tap of water and turns around giving Renjun odd eyes. Donghyuck just came home and after washing up his face he's met face to face with an inquisitive Renjun. "Hi to you too,"

"You look at her like you love her, and online you touch her with tenderness. Feels like I'm watching an intimate scene between a couple,"

"Renjun? I'm beat, I just wanna sleep,"

"It's past midnight. Where were you?"

"You sound like an obsessive girlfriend," Donghyuck ignores Renjun and walks past him.

"That's because I have to stop you from doing something out of character. You can't like or even love this girl,"

"Where the hell is that coming from?"

"A place that knows she's not your type of girl." Renjun says. "She's got a boyfriend and she's way out of your league–"

"I don't like her dude, so quit stressing,"

"You spend so much time with her, you look at her like she's the only one, you've abandoned a lot for your hookups for her, so I can't quit stressing. You're making money, a lot of money then before, so I say ditch the girl and focus on your initial plan of studying. It's better you leave her instead of spending time with her–"

"Dude quit stressing."

End of Flashback

Renjun shakes his head when watching how Donghyuck spins you around and you land on the bed. His finger dips your mask down and he begins kissing you. He can't get enough of your lips and with your legs wrapped around him, it feels more intimate to have him close to your body.

"Is it just me, or does this feel more intimate?" Jaemin comments.

"It is," Renjun goes over to another tab opening up his Spotify and continues on writing his report. "It's break up sex if you ask me,"

Comments:

Let's get it!!! *Sends 100pts

His body looks so good *600pts

Finally we'll get the master doing his thing! *300pts

Shit is he removing his pants ?? Are they finally doing it?🤤 *900pts

Yes he is- but damn is it just me or has her riding picked up some expertise? 🎯 She's a natural fuck look at that hip roll *500pts

OMG! HIS LEGS ARE SO GOOD! *100pts

Now this is content I'll gladly pay a thousand to see. Let's enjoy the show 🍿 *2000pts

The moment we've all been waiting for 😆 *500pts

"Are you ready?" Donghyuck asks lowly, treating you like it's your first time. He can't get his eyes off you and you're heart is beating fast by how thick his penis is. By length and width it's thick and it's throbbing, and that's enough to frighten you. "Trust me, you're gonna like it,"

Already by the entrance of your wetness, the familiar feeling of the tip enters, but this time feeling how fleshy and hot it is makes your throw your head back. "Oh my goodness it's so big,"

"Wait till it gets in," Donghyuck's whole member throbs in pain, wanting so badly to be relieved by entering in you. He moans when it slowly makes its way inside of you.

Donghyuck holds onto your hands and continues to slowly make his length enter. Despite using the toys, you're still so fresh and tight.

"Shit, I'm nearly in," Donghyuck's sweaty forehead resembles yours. Your eyes are shut as you take him in with your wet lubed pussy.

You gasp out when his length enters into a deeper part in you - it's far better then the dildo and far better then his fingers. Donghyuck grunts by your throbbing core.

"Good? Does it feel good?"

You nod your head and bite you lip. Donghyuck continues in a slow pace, enjoying the feeling of your warm walls swallowing him and accepting him back inside with slight pressure. Donghyuck's thrusts are slow but they emit such a loud reaction from you. "Don't stop Donghyuck, oh my goodness! Yes!"

The comments are on fire, both from your first time and how passionate this looks. From Donghyuck's deep thrusts into you to his immerse gaze and chuckle he does by the sounds you make, only set the comments on fire.

For one Jeno can't stop beating his bush accordingly to the way Donghyuck thrusts into you. "Shit,"

Jaehyun in his room has his own fetish and sounds you make and even sends tips in hopes that the show lasts longer.

Mark in the bathroom can't help himself just like Jeno as he thrusts his cock into a fleshy hand held pussy. You're so precious and your innocence to Donghyuck's monstrous cock is what has everyone in heaps of ecstasy.

Donghyuck brings you closer to him as he gets off the bed and carries you. You're taken to another dimension when he pounds into you and you're bouncing off his dick. Your moans are erotic and are so loud that at some point even the music fades away. Donghyuck has his way with you loving how much you're loving his dick. Allowing himself to take different positions he gets your feet back on the ground and has your body turned so that your butt is facing him. Your hands hold onto the mattress and you get on your tippy toes when Donghyuck pounds himself into you - it's so rough and wild that you're fingers get slippery and you're laying flat on the mattress as Donghyuck holds onto your hips and continues to hammer into you.

While it feels like you're making love to tens of thousands of people, you can't even think of them as your mind is focused 100% on Donghyuck. With your shaking legs, and Donghyuck spanking your ass and gripping your thighs when lifting up your leg, you allow him to do what what wants with you- you've never felt this before.

But Donghyuck doesn't stop there, he moans when he takes a seat on the bed and you straddle him. He helps you to slide into him and he leaves you the platform to ride him. He moans when leaning back on the bed and slapping your butt continuously encouraging you. At some point as you rock his world into oblivion, he sits up so that he can hold onto your hips and thrust higher into you.

However as soon as he sits down and begins thrusting himself into you- he gets shocked by the figure standing by the way simply watching everything.

Freezing up, Donghyuck's eyes are on the door while you continue to ride him and throw your head backwards in pleasure. "Donghyuck~" You're moaning out his name and Donghyuck feels the most guilt when Chenle's beady and watery eyes move to your back and the camera. His eyes go over to the camera and to the clothes on the floor. He looks back down to his phone, to the Sex Sun's live and he's still in shock at how much your room resembles the room on the phone. To think that this was always your room only makes Chenle turn his head around and head into the living room. He takes a seat on the couch and continues to watch the live, but he connects it to the tv.

Watching you have the most fun on Donghyuck's dick only makes him feel inferior. So this is where you've been learning and getting bold.

-

Laying next to Donghyuck and you're panting and breathing out still trying to recover. "You were so good," Donghyuck compliments and turns his head to you.

You smile and allow the blanket to cover your whole body. "You were amazing. I've never felt that way before,"

"I'm…" Donghyuck shuts his eyes and curses lowly. "Sorry,"

"What?" You ask instantly noticing his demeanor. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Donghyuck opens his eyes and faces you. Seeing your eyes looking back into his with so much awe and trust only makes him feel more guilty. "This wasn't sex, I poured my all into this,"

You're confused by his words yet you still nod your head.

"I made love to you, because I like you a lot, babygirl," Donghyuck's sudden confession has you stuck when looking into his eyes. "Renjun was right, I like you a lot. B-but I can't do that to your boyfriend,"

"My boyfriend?"

"I think, he's here,"

You furrow your brows when Donghyuck mentions. "Here?"

And just in time the door breaks open a little and you're immediately up on the bed when making eye contact with his gaze. But just as his gaze meets yours, he's out of sight and you gasp in horror. "Oh my god." Hurrying up and out of the bed you're held back by your shaking legs and throbbing core. "Shit."

Donghyuck being attentive gets up from the bed and gets a shirt and underwear quickly from the ground. While Donghyuck helps you dress up in his boxers and your own shirt, you limp out your room. Chenle is sitting by the couch and he wipes his eyes when you come out of the room.

"Are you done?" His tone is broken and it only makes you whimper.

"Chenle. Wait, I can't explain,"

He nods his head and his gaze moves up to yours. You kneel down before him and hate how broken down he looks. "That's why I'm here, you owe me an explanation,"

"I…"

You can't continue when Chenle bites his lips and shakes his head. "You know Jisung lives across from your room right? And you know what he told me? That I'm not doing a good job with you in bed, because there's someone who makes you scream so loud that all your neighbours tune in to watch Sexy Sun have his way with you. Y/n you're my girlfriend. What's the meaning of all this? I didn't want to believe it because I know you. I know you wouldn't do this. I know that we're not damaged but when I watched Sexy Sun and began realising that your background looked a lot like the one he's always in, I didn't want to believe it. But then, we started having sex and things became different. You took control a lot more, you did things that we've never done before, heck you even brought in the toys that he used. Y/n? What explanation can you give?"

Your eyes just like his are immersed in tears. Why does it feel like you've broken his heart- of course you broke his heart, but why does it feel this way? Why does it have to be this way? He was never supposed to find out. You were never supposed to go back into Donghyuck's world. But you did, and you enjoyed it but yet you can't bring yourself to open up your mouth and explain to your boyfriend that all that you did was for him. How would you even begin to explain to him your reasoning? In a place of him being happy that you learnt for him, he's upset and you're upset because it's like 3 puzzles all falling and breaking and mixing in with other pieces that don't belong to each other. This isn't how it's supposed to be.

"You have nothing to say right?"

You shake your head. "I wasn't cheating on you. I promise. I just, I did this for us, so that our sex life could be better. He was only teaching me-"

Chenle can't believe his ears. What did you just say? "T-teaching you? Thousands of people tune in at night to watch him fuck you and you're saying he was teaching you? How-" Chenle bites his lips and stands up getting your hands off his knees. He runs his hands past his hair. "And you have the nerve to say you weren't cheating? You allowed another guy to see you- he held you in his arms and you fucked him. You were moaning- moaning out his name! And you sit there and say you did this for our sex life? How does yelling his name bring benefit from our sex life? Y/n-"

"Chenle baby you're-"

"Don't call me baby." Chenle snaps. "I love you and this is what you do? Couldn't you have been honest with me? That I'm a terrible lover and don't know how to have sex with you? Did you have to go to him? Invite him in your bed? Invite thousands of people to watch him screw you? Over 600k people were watching you- and you want to say that you did it for us? Y/n even if you covered up your face I've known your eyes from the first time we've met. The moment I realized it was you was the same night I played for you that video. The first time he changed his girl. It was you, wasn't it?"

Your tongue feels heavy and your mind is blank as you hear his broken tone and his eyes getting red by the intense emotions he's feeling. He can't even look at you as he's so disappointed and angry and sad and lost and just so…how could you do this to him?

"You were in an affair with him for months now and I just let it slide because I'm like, you'll come clean to me. But you never did." Chenle shakes his head. "You never did."

Chenle sniffs and his eyes get pissed when seeing you're wearing black boxers that don't even belong to you.

"Suppose I believe that you did this all for me, what am I supposed to do next? What are we supposed to do next? Where can we go on from here? It's now engraved in my head that whenever I screw up in bed you'll go and learn from somebody else and bring it into our relationship. I can't- I can't even begin to fathom how that makes sense? Y/n how is it possible that you did this? So if I see that we've got problems, it's okay for me to go out and sleep with another girl and then bring back her teachings in our relationship? Is that how it works?"

The more he speaks, the more you begin to wonder why you agreed to do it again with Donghyuck.

"It's the fact that it all made sense to you to continue and pursue this relationship behind my back but yet to a thousand of people. I can't even- Y/n? I…" Chenle rubs his face looking drained. "Are you not going to say anything?"

"I don't want you to break up with me," You speak lowly looking down. "But judging from how this is going, you're going to break up with me right?"

That seems to tip Chenle off even more. "You don't even feel any remorse or shame in yourself-"

"I do feel remorse-"

"Clearly it's not enough because you want to break up," Chenle fires back and you shake your head.

"Chenle it's not like that-"

"He's already moulded you and customised you into–"

You shake your head. "Chenle please-"

"The way you called his name, the way he looked at you, you mean to tell me that even if we continue on together, you'll easily forget him and how much excitement he's brought to your body?"

"Chenle just listen to me–"

"You aren't saying anything so I think it's fair to just…" To say that it's over is the toughest words to leave his mouth. So instead of saying it, he walks past you and out the door.

When the door closes you slump on the couch and fold your lips as the tears swell by your eyes. In the end, it would've all been for nothing. Sleeping with Donghyuck would've all been for nothing, because it's clearly clear how this was all a bad mistake. Chenle leaving your dorm room only made you break down because you just lost your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who has been with you for so long. Who you were sure you could love forever. You just didn't expect him to turn around and leave. But to be fair, you wouldn't want him to have done the same thing to you. It would've made you feel like you're not enough, so you can understand Chenle's feelings.

The sound of something being dropped off by your room door makes you flinch and look up to see Donghyuck standing there, he's all dressed up and has bag over his shoulder looking guilty. "Hey," he says softly.

You're too embarrassed and overwhelmed with emotions to even look at him. He puts his bag down and takes a seat next to you on the couch. Rubbing his head he wraps his arms around you- only for you to shake your head and move away from him. "Go home." You know he wants to talk to you but if you let him right now, you know it'll only make you feel worse. He shouldn't even be here in the first place. If you were honest, you knew how much Donghyuck cared about you. But you were just too stupid to get that. Now look where it's got you.

Donghyuck doesn't know what to do. He's never been in a position like this. While you and Chenle were discussing in the living room, he was cleaning up, dressing up, packing up and even eavesdropping.

Donghyuck isn't dumb he knew this is what would happen. No guy in their right mind would allow his girl to cheat and then come back to him. But to be fair, Donghyuck was also to blame. Although he started off as not caring for you or you're relationship, the result of the end product is that he cared enough for you and didn't want to do Chenle dirty. But now that Chenle cut himself out the picture, Donghyuck doesn't know whether or not if this is what he wants.

He's still trying to figure out exactly what he wants. So, in the midst of his inner turmoil, Donghyuck finds himself sitting there on the couch next to you, holding you tight in an embrace that neither of you wanted. He knows you need space but he also wishes that maybe he was strong enough to convince you otherwise.

Is this going to kill you if he does stay? Are you really going to be fine without him? Or will you still miss him when he leaves? Will you fall apart again?

In the end, he decides not to say anything and you're surprised when he carries you back in your room and pulls the blanket up to your chin. He kisses you gently on your forehead and leaves. "I'm sorry."

-

It's almost unbearable to go to school for the next couple of weeks. Thank goodness for the school break that's coming soon. The past few weeks have been nothing but misery and frustration for you. It's almost like Chenle has vanished from the face of the earth. You occasionally make out Jisung leave his room, and you can't help but despise him. He did nothing but tell the truth, but hell did he really have to tell the truth? None the less Chenle is scarce around Campus. And when you do see him, or he sees you, he's quick in making a U-turn and walking away. It's almost scary how angry he looks when you see him by chance. He looks beyond pissed and he's always got a resting poker face filled with hatred and rage. You're broken in your soul because you know that it's because of you why he's now dead inside.

You also hate how Donghyuck has also been scarce from your life. After that last sexual activity you swear it's like the whole world knew who you were. If it wasn't random guys coming to ask if you were the girl in Sexy Sun's cam and you lied saying it's not you, then it was the non stop messages and attachments to your name as well as girls asking you why Sexy Sun deleted his Kink Factory account.

By now some people with brains connected the dots that you were in a relationship but because of your account and your kink sessions with Donghyuck - it caused you all to leave the platform. And because the rumours were true, you just decided to leave Kink Factory. There was no reason to stay there when all your reasons to even join had left and abandoned you.

You've thought about what you did, you had time to reflect on your actions, and while consensual sex with Donghyuck was a term, the condition was that your boyfriend wouldn't find out. But since he found it, you realized that from the get go that type of term and condition was non-negotiable for you as you were already in a relationship.

It sucks that you caught feelings for Donghyuck only after having that breakup sex, but it hurts more when you were left to deal with it alone.

You were too chicken to go and look for Donghyuck by his normal friends group, so your school days became dull completely. So much for being the unknown girl on campus with granny panties, to being the most famous Kinker on Kink Factory, to being another reject who got caught up in scandals.

Being wallowed by your own stress and misery, you fail to see a hurrying figure bump into you making the papers in your hands fall. You apologize when the guy helps you pick up your papers as well.

"Oh, hey Y/n,"

You look up and meet Taeyong. "Hi,"

"Sorry about that," He dusts your papers before giving it back to you. "I was rushing to the Computers Convention, wanna come with me? Donghyuck's been chosen to represent our university against the other universities."

Hearing Donghyuck's name, you're not sure if you want to come or if you just want to bury the past and never think of him again. Unfortunately your decision is already made when Taeyong grabs your hand and starts sprinting with you behind him.

Upon heading to the auditorium gym hall, you're swamped into a world of tech and science when meeting geeky experts one and alike. You stick close to Taeyong for the most parts, but after a while when gazing at an interesting machine you lose Taeyong. Debating on going out or staying in the hall, you're decision is once again made for you when you lock eyes with Chenle.

It's no shock that your eyes enlarge, but it's even more shocking when his gaze doesn't divert from yours, and to make it worse for you he begins to approach you. He doesn't have that almighty scowl when he looks at you, but instead his face is neutral.

"Hi,"

"Why are you approaching me?" You don't mean for it to come off rude and standoffish, but it does and you quickly have to add on. "I'm the last person you want to see,"

Chenle is taken aback by your defence but he doesn't rebut it. "Just saying 'hi'. I figured it's about time I stop avoiding you,"

You have nothing to say to that except maybe nod your head. You both stand in an awkward silence, with his gaze lowered and yours to the floor it's clear that neither of you are willing to talk. And it pains Chenle to swallow the bitter truth but he sighs.

"Who am I kidding," he mumbles as is gaze slightly meets yours and then going around the hall. "I thought that…after some time we could get back together and that I'd be able to forgive you and we could move past this moment. But seeing you now just makes me understand that we were both with each other for the mere fact that nobody else wanted to be with us,"

That gets your attention and sadly Chenle hits the nail on the spot. You've never really thought why you and Chenle were together other for the fact thar you were each other's companies.

"I would've probably turned the other cheek when I found out about your affair with Donghyuck, but I realized that by day and by night we were slowly drifting apart. Jisung confirmed my suspicion when he mentioned Donghyuck coming by whenever I'd leave," Chenle looks down. "We were already drifting apart, we just found ways to act on it. You did it through sex with another guy and I did it by clicking well with other guys who accepted me in their clique."

Although you don't like that word affair, you get struck in the heart by his confession. Drifting apart… That could've been the case. That's something you can agree to, but admitting it sounds so tough, because all your life you never contradicted Chenle or raised your voice to him or even opposed his statement. "I guess I did it with the intent on pleasing you. But the second time around when I agreed, another part of me liked the new feelings I began feeling."

Chenle nods his head. "So," he sighs. "I'll always love you, maybe in a different way, but I know for certain you were my first in my aspects of life,"

"Same here," You nod your head and you both make brief eye contact.

Your encounter with Chenle ends there when you both embrace each other in a hug. One thing that Chenle was good at, were his hugs. He's so warm and gentleman when he hugs you. After the embrace, you both part and go your separate ways. For some reason, it feels like a sweet parting when you both makeup and you see him being content with his group of geeky nerdy friends.

Meanwhile there's you, still trying to navigate yourself out, but it's like you were purposely brought here to make amends with everyone because the next person you bump into is none other then Donghyuck. Unlike Chenle and your awkward greeting, Donghyuck's whole face lights up as he greets you. "Babygirl hey!" his eyes brightening as he cherishes you and brings you in a hug that's full of contentment. He lights up when he sees you. And then his entire face turns completely red when he pulls you away. He looks away from you and mutters something about being in charge of the robotics and he had to get back. But before he leaves he turns back to you. "Wanna come along?"

"I don't even really know why I'm here, so I'll just–"

“It’s been too long since I saw you.” You laugh awkwardly at the statement forgetting all reasons why you were angry at him. "I figured that since you needed time, I could give you space, but seeing as you're here, come with me."

Holding your hand and intertwining your fingers makes your heart feel light. It doesn't matter how much you try to convince yourself that this is wrong or right. Even if this isn't real, it feels so good. So good that you can hardly think straight as the two of you walk through the hall until you reach his main booth stand and you realize this might be the only chance you ever have with Donghyuck to change the course of how you see each other.

Your eyes are brought to life by the advanced prototype machines that you see Donghyuck had built. The once projects that were half finished are now polished and looking amazing. "Wow, Donghyuck this is amazing,"

"Cool right?" Donghyuck smiles and nudges his head to a group of people. "Those judges right there are gonna come here in a few and I need to present and sell my work to them. I was nervous as fuck, I was jittery the whole day, but then I saw you and knew that my gold charm had come back,"

That makes you blush when he steps closer to you. His hand cautiously rests on your neck before his eyes search in between yours for a moment as he leans in closer. "The only way to activate my luck is through kissing you,"

You swallow hard. He's so close. The way his breath caresses your lips sends electricity down your spine. Your gaze shifts from his mouth to his eyes and they're dark brown that look almost black. His gaze softens further. When he closes the distance between you and places his free hand behind your head, you're lost but happy. His warm hand brushes against your cheek and you can barely keep your eyes open. His hand cups your face and then, he kisses you and your mind goes blank.

He's warm. Everything about him is so warm. It's comforting and you lean into his warmth as you both melt into one another. It's perfect. And so, so easy. Like you've always known him as someone who would do anything for you and nothing less. You let your hands rest on his chest as you kiss him back ever so passionately. And after a while, he pulls away gently. His thumb rubs small circles on the skin under your jaw. "I'm guessing this kiss is the start of something," he says softly.

You're afraid to nod, afraid to feel anything.Is it correct to be entering into something with him when you're not even sure what it is? Is this what it means for your soulmate to be someone whom you never thought would be your end?

You're scared, terrified that this will end badly. That you'll ruin whatever it is that you've made with him. You're scared that he'll leave and never look back, but at the same time…

You're happy.

And that's enough.

So you lean back in and kiss him again. He hums quietly, and then he kisses you harder and deeper than before. You hold him back, your arms wrapping around his waist as you tilt your head forward, allowing him to deepen the kiss. "Don't put my kiss to shame. Present well,"

Stealing one more kiss from you, Donghyuck nods his head. "I will,"

And so when the judges come, Donghyuck with a few cuts on his face but patted with a soft bandage looks extremely excited and eager to present his passion to the judges.

Donghyuck opens up the machines, and they are not only retro but they are so pleasing to look at. There aren't any obvious problems with their designs that you can tell, but there are subtle differences. The metal parts that connect to one another and create a network look intricate yet sturdy. You watch as he explains each part and uses a variety of technical terms to show off the functionality, but also the beauty of each pieces. But then you look at Donghyuck and all thoughts disappear as you watch him with the biggest smile ever gracing his beautiful features.

The machines work, and even as one of the judges goes to test it; it's functionality is solid and you applaud when the judges give back positive feedback. Donghyuck's team and group are given a pass and you walk around with Donghyuck just exploring the other gadgets. In his true form you find it adorable how geeky and nerdy he is when it comes to tech and robotics.

As you follow the judges you who judge the other schools there, your heart falls for those who's projects aren't meeting the expectations as well as for those who primarily aren't as enthusiastic when presenting. In the end the judges get onstage to announce the release winner as well as full-time position with their company.

Sneaking himself behind you and snaking his hand over hips Donghyuck whispers in your ear. "What am I getting if I win?"

"A full-time job,"

He chuckles breathlessly in your ear and you feel so heated hearing his voice. "No, I mean from you. It's been a while but we could do something,"

That gets you bubbly and tingly. "No camera,"

"Of course,"

You think in the same mind as him and get super excited when the presenter announces the first place winner. You're jubilated when it's your university and Donghyuck's team. You're not expecting Donghyuck to join his lips with yours but he does it anyways, and you're surprised but so glad at how much you've missed him. How much you didn't want to be parted from him despite not wanting to be apart with him but wanted his attention, his love. And he gives it. A hundred times more than you deserved.

"I notice you don't smoke anymore," You mention when sitting across from him eating your pastry.

"I still do, just not as excessively," He smiles. "Why? Do you want me to stop?"

"Now that you mention it, I've never liked it's smell,"

"I'll try my best to not, but regardless I wanted to ask you something,"

You nod your head.

"What do you think of us?"

You bite your lip and look down nervously. "I'm scared that it's only pure physical attraction between us and that, we maybe are just in lust with each other,"

It makes Donghyuck smirk as he laughs lightly and looks up to meet your eyes. "But..?" he prompts.

"I guess…I mean I'm not an expert, but I think that you're cute. And I love the fact that we get along together,"

He lets out a low chuckle. "And?"

"Donghyuck," You playfully pout, but he goes on.

"And I like you," He looks in between your eyes. "I like spending time with you. I miss spending time with you…I don't want to scare you, so I'm not saying I want to date you, because that'd be crazy especially since you got out of your relationship, and I definitely don't want to get married to you either, because that'd be stupid and too son, but what I'm saying is that I'd love you. To spend time with you,"

"Donghyuck…"

"I wanna see, where this goes." Looking at his face, you find a determination within his eyes that you haven't seen before. It's something different from his usual playful nature and you realize he must've been waiting for some time to talk to you about this subject. It must've gotten to him. He has a serious side too, which scares you because no matter what he said earlier, there was always going to be fear for the future. Even if you weren't planning on being with him, there was always going to be the possibility that one of these days he's going to realize that he wants something more with you than friendship.

You take a deep breathe in. You know this might sound weird coming from you, but you actually want to hear it. "Are you really asking me to go out with you?"

"I've never actually asked a girl out. It's always 'do you want to sleep with me?' but," Donghyuck bites his lip looking nervous and shy. "If you want, we could do something like this more often,"

You stare at him for a long time thinking about his question. Are you ready? Are you ready to risk your reputation? Are you ready for all of these feelings that keep swirling around inside of you?

As the answer is yes to all those questions, a smile breaks from your face and you nod your head.

---------fin----------

[prose-among-the-trees]

Redoing my intro (again!!) because I’ve gained an ounce of traction here and I want to update my pinned post!

Name: just call me Prose. It works well enough and I don’t use that name on any other site

Age: 20 years old

Gender: genderqueer

Pronouns: they/them or they/he please

Interests: poetry, literature, indie music, cats (and other silly creatures), world building, storytelling, teaching

Career path: I’m in my 3rd of 5 years needed for my bachelors and teaching certificate for English

I’m an adult with did. I’ve been diagnosed for nearly two years now and I’m in active treatment for it. I despise the way did and other dissociative disorders have been sensationalized online and plenty of my personal posts are just about that. I’ve got a lot of hate in my heart for blatant misinformation and the practices that further stigmatize these disorders (not necessarily the people though, that’s a learned behavior).

So while I’m here I’ll list some stances of mine. If anyone would like to take this as their official dni for me then feel free. I don’t have a dni, I’m an adult who can manage my own page. I block sparingly but I will do it.

1. DID and subsequent CDDs are TRAUMA based dissociative disorders. If you believe you can be some form of plural without trauma my page is likely not for you.

2. Trendy DID community posts tend to piss me off. I don’t like trends that turn DID into an alter disorder. It’s so much more than that. Flags, drawing challenges, etc. If my stance on these bothers you and you think they’re fairly innocuous, I’d say do what you need to do to keep yourself happy on this site. I won’t be offended if I’m a blogged blog.

3. I share details about my parts sparingly. I’ve gotten into the safer habit of not signing off any posts, and I’ll likely continue to do so. If my posts seem contradictory in nature (ex- you just said you hated this the other day) could be another part. I won’t be specifying.

4. There are a lot of very dangerous community practices that are damaging the way CDDs are recognized. Certain community labels that have been changed to seem like they’re professional and diagnostic hurt marginalized groups of people, and it’s something I hate to see. If you say you have a certain trauma I’ll take it at face value, it’s not my business, really, but just know the terms you use for that could be incredibly damaging towards groups that have long been persecuted wrongfully.

5. I try to be as friendly as possible, but I’ll not be quiet about my hatred for DissociaDID and the harmful content they produce. It damaged the did community beyond repair. If that’s an issue, my blog isn’t for you.

6. Absolutely loving the finally informative blogs on this site trying to undo the misinformation that’s plagued this place. If me liking/reblogging these is an issue for you because you don’t like them, my stance likely matches theirs.

It’s genuinely really nice to meet everyone and I hope for this page to be as chill as it’s always been!!

[somediyprojects]

DIY Floral Mobile

Project by Caitlin Kelch:

In a world of watercolory wisps and geometric forms, I’m counting down the days until this trend gives way to thick, textured paint streaks, crusty from layer upon layer of heavy oils and acrylics. While I love a good color wash, I’m anxious to see a heavier approach as the season changes — and maybe even a move towards more structured patterns and traditional florals. While I’m not much of a painter, I’m pretty handy with fabric and glue, so I thought I’d try to merge some modern materials (copper) with some more conventional florals in a purely decorative, minimalist form. For me, DIYs are all about exploration, seeing what can be made with everyday materials and refashioning motifs that have been absent for a while. I thought to myself, “What would it look like if I mixed wood and copper with traditional florals and an abstract bespoke design?” And so my hanging mobile was born!

I love the fact that it is “reversible” and shows two very different decorative approaches depending on the gauge of wire you use and random movement. It’s exactly the type of subtle movement that I need to gaze at when I need a quick meditation break during the day and I’m not able to get outside. Making this tied in really well with the exercises in my Beauty of Self Care lessons on Patience and Purpose. It’s really challenging to actually sit down with materials and not be frustrated by “mistakes” or disappointed with the finished product — but it’s so worth it. While my mobile may not show up on the pages of a glossy magazine, I love that I took the time to experiment, explore and enjoy the finished product!

If you’re looking to practice a little patience and to let go of expectations, I’d love for you to make this sometime soon. It is a wonderful way to take a timeout to appreciate something that you made in a proud, meditative way. See my full instructions after the jump! –Caitlin

Supplies

Balsa wood panel or sheet

Thin wooden dowel (Chop sticks or twigs can work too!)

Copper jewelry wire (26 gauge is easy to use even without pliers.)

Assorted paints

Floral fabric

Glue

Scissors or an X-Acto knife

Instructions

Step 1: If you’re using a floral fabric, cut out 3-5 flowers from the pattern, cover the back of the fabric pieces with glue and place on the balsa wood. Smooth them so they are flat on the wood. Let dry.

Step 2: While the glue is drying, take out your paints and brushes and mix colors that will either pair with or contrast with the flower or fabric that you’ve glued onto the wood. Once you have a few shades that you like, and the glue is dry, cut out your shapes from the wood with scissors using small snips or with a straight edge.

Step 3: Flip your shapes over and paint the reverse side with your colors. You can also leave the wood unpainted. This looks lovely with the copper wire, too. Let dry. You can embellish this side more if you’d like. I used my balsa wood scraps to make an abstract leaf design by gluing them on top of the paint.

Step 4: Once the shapes are dry, play around with the placement of them to see how they will look when they are hanging. When you have an arrangement you like, snip your dowel in several pieces so you can attach your shapes to them with the copper wire. Lay the dowels down on a flat surface well enough above the shapes that you can use a length of wire to vary the distance of each shape from the dowel. You don’t want all of the wires to be the same length, otherwise your shapes will all be clustered together.

Step 5: Now that you have your shapes arranged on a flat surface and your dowels in place (which they will hang from), cut lengths of the copper wire for each shape you’re attaching. Be sure to add an additional 3″ of wire on each end for wrapping the wire to the dowel and to the shape!

Step 6: Pierce a small hole at least a 1/4″ from the edge of each shape. Insert one end of the copper wire through the fabric side of the shape, creating a small loop on the painted side that will prevent the wire from slipping out of the hole.

Step 7: Wrap the other end of the wire around the dowel. Repeat with each shape. Feel free to hold up the mobile to see how your flat arrangement is working. You can add new tiers and dowels as you see fit. Don’t worry if your shapes are not hanging straight. You can straighten them when you’re finished, before you hang it.

Step 8: Once all of your shapes and dowels are connected and hanging from one dowel at the top, cut a long length of wire the appropriate size for where you will hang the mobile. If you don’t have a spot yet, 18″ is a good length to start with. You can always add or take away length. Make a “rabbit ear” loop, leaving 2″ at the tail so you can wrap it around the loop to secure it. This will be your hanger. Now you’re done! Hang your mobile and straighten any copper wire so it hangs straight. Enjoy!

[cleanvisualsagency]

Web Elements You’ll Never See Again: What Were They Thinking? Websites have come a long, long way over the last couple of decades, and there have been some real head-scratchers when it comes to web elements that have since fallen by the wayside. In this blog, we’ll take a brief look back at some of the more unique and baffling web components that no one looks back on fondly. 1. Excessive Animation Long before the Pharrell Williams “Happy” video was a twinkle in his eye, flash web designers were wreaking their own version of havoc with animations on websites. From flashing text to eyeball-searing background GIFs these designs were little more than an assault on the senses, and thankfully these days, a forgotten past. 2. Autoplaying Music For a brief period in the nineties, website owners were allowed to get away with including music or other audio clips on their websites. The end result was a cacophony of sounds that assault the senses and make website navigation a real creepy experience. Thankfully, this trend was quickly quelled, and you’re unlikely to find this element anywhere today. 3. Annoying Pop-Ups An unforgivable practice to this day, pop-ups have been a consistently annoying presence on the web since their introduction in the ‘90s. While they’ve become more manageable in recent years, there was a time where they were an inescapable annoyance, and something we’re still trying to avoid today. 4. Outdated Stock Imagery Back in the day before stock imagery was the thing, it was the lack of available photos that warranted the use of outdated and low-quality images. It almost feels like a bad joke now to think about the beach scenes with clunky computers or that suspiciously ‘80s-looking woman in the business suit. However, modern stock imagery has come a long way — this element is definitely one that’s been consciously left in the past. 5. Clunky Navigation Menus Navigation menus are an integral part of the user experience and website functionality. That wasn’t always the case though. Back in the late ‘90s, navigation menus were clunky, bulky, and filled with too many options. (How did anyone go about navigating that?) Fortunately for us all, navigation menus have been streamlined immensely, and it’s actually a pleasure browsing around websites now. 6. Splash Pages Perhaps one of the most infuriating pages of all time, the splash page was a staple of the mid-90s website. Hurriedly designed, overly flashy, and generally useless to the user, splash pages were a ridiculous outlet for website owners to show off their graphical prowess. In almost every instance, it was a huge waste of time, and thankfully, today we leave this element in the past. 7. Overly Complex Text Inputs Intricate forms and overly-complex text inputs have been a bugbear of websites since the early days. Thankfully, they are no longer the norm. Granted, some of these complicated text inputs had some pretty specific uses, but as a whole, most of them added nothing to the user experience. Nowadays, input forms and text elements have been simplified and streamlined, making them infinitely more pleasant to use. 8. Delayed Load Times Load times are an important measure of a website’s performance, and in the past, long delays were unbelievably common. This tends to happen when websites were designed for clunky and outdated browsers, but thankfully, this isn’t something you’ll see much of these days. With the prevalence of modern design principles, and the availability of powerful tools for developers today, load times are greatly reduced and usually take just a few seconds. Conclusion You don’t have to look far to see the long list of mind-boggling web elements that have since been dumped into the junk drawer of website design. Thankfully, they’re no longer in vogue and have since been replaced with more modern elements that leave the user with a much more enticing experience. From navigation menus to load times, websites have become better equipped to handle a large variety of users and their needs.

At Clean Visuals, we offer web design services that are tailored to meet your specific needs. Our experienced team of designers will create a unique website that is optimized for performance and user experience. With Clean Visuals, you can rest assured that we will deliver high-quality results. Check out our web design pricing for more information about our services. What are some web elements that are no longer used? 1. Frames 2. Marquee 3. Blinking text 4. Presentation HTML 5. tag 6. FrontPage Navigation Bars 7. Embedded TrueType fonts 8. tags 9. tags 10. JavaScript popup boxes What web elements were popular in the past but are no longer used? 1. Frames 2. Flash 3. Marquee 4. Blinking text 5. Background music/audio 6. Spacer gifs 7. Hit counters 8. Email forms 9. tags 10. JavaScript popup boxes What techniques were used for web design in the past? 1. Table-based layouts: Tables were used to control the layout of websites prior to the availability of cascading style sheets. Web page development was limited in the past because tables locked the content into rigid layouts. 2. Image slicing: In order to facilitate faster loading times, designers would use this technique to “slice” up images into smaller pieces and use tables to rearrange the pieces in the desired order. 3. Frames: Frames were used to cordon off one part of the web page from the other. 4. Animated GIFs: Animated GIFs were commonly used in the past to add a sense of dynamism to the page. 5. Marquees: Marquees were used to move text and images across the page. 6. Background images: Background images could be used to add a splash of colour to the page. 7. Flash: Flash animations were used to add interactivity to the page. What are some of the oldest web design techniques? 1. Hyperlinks: The oldest and most common web design technique is with the use of hyperlinks, utilizing the 'click here' link that helps users navigate the website. 2. Tabbed Navigation: Tabbed navigation was once used in web design to create user-friendly menus. 3. Responsive Design: Responsive design is the practice of designing a website to resize and be optimized for different devices like desktops, tablets, and smartphones. It has been around since the early 2010s. 4. Content Audits: Content audits help designers both identify & prioritize existing content and inform new web design layout decisions by providing an understanding of the information structure. 5. HTML: HTML has been around since 1991, and is the basis of all web design.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Okayyyy so here’s what I’m Thinking. Bokuto was well known in Tokyo and everyone knew not to mess with him. He met reader at a book shop she worked at. He found her very interesting. The reader is a bit shy. They became friends and started liking each other. She didn’t know that he was in the maifa until she saw him kill someone. He then tired to tell her it’s not what it looked like but reader was afriad of him and ran home. She avoided him for weeks until he showed up at her door with flowers and a bunch of gifts and begged her to talk. - 🍒

𝙼𝚊𝚏𝚒𝚊! 𝙱𝚘𝚔���𝚝𝚘 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙲𝚆: 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙼𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛/𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑, 𝙶𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 2.5

Oh god

It was moments like these where you wish you could just travel back in time...or at the very least erase your memory...but life won't give you those options, so the only option you have now is to run.

6 Months Ago…

"Ah yes there's nothing quite like this" you thought to yourself flipping to the next page of your favorite book. You really loved working in the local bookshop. Your friends would always joke around how it fitted your “aesthetic” so well. Not that you could disagree though, you couldn't deny that you loved evenings like these, where the rain was pouring outside while you were inside the building reading a book. The faint smell of coffee from the coffee shop next door being the cherry on top to this little vibe you had going on. “Y/n! Do you think you could close up shop for me? I gotta go pick up my brother from practice before this rain gets too crazy". You were brought back into reality by your co-workers request. “Oh for sure! Go ahead.i'll take care of it” you said putting down your book. She thanked you before grabbing her coat and heading outside. You looked up at the clock making a mental note to start closing up in about 20 minutes. Suddenly your train of thought was interrupted by the shop's door opening, causing the little bell on top to jingle. Thinking it was your co-worker you turned around to ask what she had forgotten only to be face to face with a man.

Uhm...Hey! Do you mind if i stay here until this storm dies down?” the male asked you. Giving him a quick look up and down you took notice just how drenched he was, from his grey and black hair dripping and sticking to his face, to his clothes that might as well have been dunked in water with how wet they have gotten. “O-Oh of course! Please come in'' you stuttered after realizing you had been staring at him just a second too long. You quickly ran to the back to grab the blanket you and your co-worker use whenever it gets too cold in the store. Running back to the front you hand the mystery man the blanket. “This won't do much for the clothes but maybe you can at least get your hair dry” you say as he takes the blanket. “Thank You so much!” he said beaming. There was a bit of awkward silence as he dried his hair off, but the silence was broken when he handed you back the blanket. “You're not much of a talker are you?” he said with a light chuckle. He made his way over to one of the reading chars and took a seat, motioning for you to do the same. “Yeah uh...sorry I'm a bit shy! Especially around strangers who just happen to walk into my bookshop” you said making your way to sit next to him. Once you had sat down he looked at you with shining eyes and a oh so bright smile “Well if that's the problem” he said holding his hand out to you ”I'm Bokuto Koutarou!”. You laughed a little at his enthusiasm before grabbing his hand “Well Bokuto, it's nice to meet you, I'm Y/n”

That night was the first of many that you'd be spending with Bokuto, in fact after that night he had become a frequent customer at the bookshop, always coming at the later hours, and always keeping you company whenever you started closing up. Hell he's even taken you out for drinks a couple times after your shift. You have never been one to trust strangers, let alone become good friends with them but shockingly enough, you felt rather comfortable around this strange man. Maybe it was his bright personality, or the way his eyes seemed to sparkle wherever he laid them on you, or even the way that his laugh caused a giggle or two to escape from your own lips. Either way you liked this Bokuto Koutarou, and if only you knew how much Bokuto liked you as well. Lucky both of your feelings would come to light on a night similar to the night Bokuto magically waltzed into your life...

Here you both were, sitting on the very same chairs you had introduced yourselves in. Only this time, you were both reading your respective books. However this peace was soon interrupted by a whiny Bokuto. “Y/nnnn I'm so boredddd” Bokuto said slamming his book shut. You put your bookmark in your book before closing it and looking at his puppy dog eyes ``Y'know for someone who comes into a bookshop so often, you're not that interested in books are you?” you told him with a smirk. “Hey! I'm smart enough without the help of your stinky books'' he said tapping the book against your head.. You grabbed the book from his hands and stuck your tongue out, watching as he plopped back on his self proclaimed “personal reading chair”. “Besides, I only ever really come to this shop to spend time with you”. You blushed at his small comment but not wanting your feelings to get the best of you quite yet, you decided to “test” these waters you were trending in. “What? You got a crush on me or something?” you said giving him a playful nudge. Now it was his turn to blush. It was silent for a beat to long and you were about to take back what you had just said, but you were quickly cut of when Bokuto took your hand, looked you dead in your eyes with a look that sent shivers down your spine “Would you hate me if I did?” he asked you in a soft tone, almost like a child admitting they broke something to their parent, a big contrast from his usual loud and confident voice. Instead of responding you simply squeezed his hand and cupped his face with the other “I would never hate you, especially if i feel the same way about you” Not being able to hold back anymore he simply grabbed your face and pulled you in for a soft but passionate kiss.pulling away he looked at you with all the love in the world “Y/n, I really want to be with you, but… there's a part of my life that you've never seen and I don't want to lose you over that” he told you, his eyes beginning to gloss over. Still pretty confused about what he was talking about you only took his face in your hand once more “Kou I will love you no matter what. Even your ugly parts”. Bokuto pulled you into a hug, trying to hide the tears that were falling freely from his eyes now. “Y-You promise?”

“I Promise”

Present Day

Thinking about that night still caused butterflies to flutter in your stomach. But now as you were running towards your apartment as if you were running from the grim reaper himself you couldn't ignore the feeling of dread that was sitting next to those butterflies. Had you really just seen that? Did you really just see your loving goofball of a boyfriend kill someone? It was supposed to be a normal night. You had closed the shop and were beginning to walk back home when you saw familiar spiky hair across the road. Curiosity had got the best of you, so… you decided to investigate. What you didn't expect to see was your boyfriend holding a gun to a man's head. It had all happened so fast first the crack of the gun, then your scream, then Bokuto's horrified expression as he turned and saw you standing there with your hand over your mouth. Before Bokuto could even try to explain what he had done, you ran. You ran away as if he was going to point the gun at you next.

Finally. Finally you were safe in your apartment. Your lungs felt like they were on fire, and your legs felt like absolute jelly. All you could do was collapse to the floor and break down crying. The scene from earlier replaying over and over in your head, causing you to get even more hysterical. Suddenly your phone started buzzing. You picked it up, as if you didn't already know who it was calling. The image of your boyfriend's face appeared on your screen, he looked nothing like the man who you had just seen commit that heinous deed. Suddenly anger took over your senses and you threw your phone across the room, returning to your fetal position to cry all your emotions out, eventually crying yourself to sleep

When you had finally awoken the sun was rising and the birds outside were singing their spring songs. You pulled yourself off of the floor before making your way to your phone across the room. "Damn it" you thought. Of course you had cracked your screen. Turning the phone on you was bombarded by hundreds of missed calls and text messages from your boyfriend. Could you even call him that any more? Would you really look at the man you saw kill and call him your boyfriend? Opting not to answer any of his messages or return any of his calls, you blocked him and went to go make you some tea, hoping to calm your still frazzled nerves”

The next few days were pretty quiet you hadn't even dared to leave your apartment, let alone even show up at work. You had called out telling your co-worker that you came down with a terrible cold and wouldn't be in for a couple of days. Sitting alone in your apartment during this time really gave you time to think about the events you had witnessed that night. Is this what Bokuto was talking about that night he confessed to you? Is this what he was afraid of losing you over? you couldn't really blame him if it was. But still, he could have at least warned you about this part of his life, or at the very least act like he was a cold blooded killer! You still couldn't bring yourself to think that the man you had cuddled in bed with, the man you had taken walks in the park with, the very man who opted to release a spider instead of killing it, would actually have it in him to kill an actual person. Suddenly your thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Still a little on edge you jumped at the sudden sound before that familiar sense of dread flooded your stomach. “Well gotta face the music some time” you breathed out slowly walking towards the door.

When you had opened the door you were practically tackled into a hug by a very hysterical Bokuto. You froze at the sudden contact “How could a man hug you with the very same hands he took someone's life with?" You thought as you gently pushed him off you. “Y/n I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now but-” he was interrupted when you raised your hand. “You have 10 minutes to explain yourself then you either need to leave, or I'm calling the cops” you told him motioning for him to come inside. Bokuto practically jumped at the opportunity to finally explain himself to you and hopefully make you understand why he did what he did.

Each of you took a seat at your dining table. It was time for you to get answers... “Ok for starters, why are you here?” you started staring at him coldly. “Well you weren't answering any of my calls or texts and whenever I stopped by the bookshop you were never there, so I got worried” he replied fiddling with his thumbs. You slowly nodded at his answer. “So are you gonna tell me what the hell happened that night or are you just gonna sit there” you spat at him almost angrily. He flinched at your words before taking a deep breath “Well what did you see?” he asked. That was it for you. You slammed your hands on the table, not able to control your anger any more. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT DID I SEE?!?!? I SAW YOU FUCKING KILL SOMEONE KOUTAROU!!” you screamed at him standing up from your seat.”I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU!” he shouted back at you, throwing his hands up in the air. You both stared at each other in teary silence. “Y/n please let me explain… then you can hate me or kick me out i don't care! Just please…” you huffed before sitting back down, doing your best to hold back your own tears. “Ok” he said, trying to find a way to tell you everything “My family has always been a part of the mafia” he started, “When I turned 18 it was time for me to “take over” the family business” your mouth fell open, since he was 18? He's been doing this since he was 18? “When I first met you, I never ever wanted to tell you how much you meant to me because I never wanted you to find out about this part of my life, or even worse...I never wanted this part of my life to find out about you” he continued. You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean “find out about me”” you asked him. “I mean, that if my rivals found out about you and I, they would start to come after you”. Your eyes widened at this. “S-so that guy you shot-” “was trying to kill you” he said finishing off your sentence. He then looked up at you, visible tears in his eyes. “I'm so sorry Y/n I never wanted to put you in any sort of danger but-” you had cut him off when you smashed your lips against his. All this time you had thought he killed that man out of cold blood. Not once did you even consider he was doing it for you. He kissed you back before pulling you into the tightest hug. “Y-your not mad?” he blubbered out. “Not anymore,” you said, smiling at him. “ I just wish you would have told me,” you said. “But I didn't want to lose you…” he whispered in your ear. One last time, you took his face into both of your hands. “Bokuto Koutarou I love you” you said, letting the tears fall from your eyes. He laughed a soft laugh “even the ugly parts?” he asked you

“Even the ugly parts”

[tessenpai]

Kono Oto Tomare! chapter 100 raws and translation

link for the scans: https://lovehug.net/614/46464/

-------------------------KOT #100 Rough TL-------------------------------

Page 1

[Kono oto Tomare!]

Uzuki: Well then, see you later Natsu. It was good to see you after so long

Uzuki: About what we discussed before, I’ll be counting on you (think about what we discussed before)

Natsu: Yeah…

Uzuki: Thank you, I will contact you again.

Page 2 Natsu: … Chapter title: #Love Letter Takezou: Right. If you substitute the value of b for this x, then… Hiro: Ah, I get it! Hiro: Then I get that y=a!

Page 3 Hiro: Incredible! That was so easy to understand! Thank you--- Takezou: I’m glad you think so. Miyu: Say, you are together all the time because of the club and now you do study sessions together too? You guys dating or something? Hiro and Takezou: We are not dating!!! Miyu: In harmony too, so annoying (That harmony is annoying) Miyu: Moreover, the Nationals are just after the tests are over, right? Hiro: That’s right. Miyu: How is it, really? Hiro: What? Miyu: Will you go for it? 1st place. Hiro: …What are you saying all of the sudden. Miyu: No, it’s just that I was watching TV the other day---

Page 4 Miyu: things like [From the brink of extinction to a miraculous appearance at the Nationals] or [To beat the immovable champions]. Aren’t you expecting it? Miyu: There was plenty of buzz on SNS too. Hiro: Eh, really!? Miyu: You know those 2nd years that were with eyes half open all the time? #TheHalfEyeTriplets was trending. Takezou: …. Sane: …Amazing… Sane: We became stars after appearing on TV but… What’s with “The half eye triplets” … Kazu even made a song Mitsu: The world is so cruel… Sane: Now we must take the first place no matter what!!! Mittsu: Yeah!!!

Page 5 Sane: Huh? Sane: Hey, Yoshinaga! What ya doin’ standing here spacing out? Atsumu: Senpai! Thank you for your hard work (Outsukaresama desu) Mittsu: Is the key not going in? Atsumu: Ah, no, it’s not that…. Satowa: I am telling you it’s not like that!! Chika: What’s the matter with you? I thought your answer was right!!

Page 6 Satowa: It’s a trick question! Listen to the problem carefully! Chika: Why are you trying to trick me!? Be nicer! Satowa: I thought about it for you, I am being nice! Chika: Ah!? Kouta: Chika! Houzuki-san! Kouta: Geez, are you guys fighting again? Chika: Houzuki is being mean to me.

Sane: Mean, you say… Chika: Forget that, what’s with you? Why are you guys not going in? Kouta: No, we were about to go in but Yoshirin… Atsumu: Is just that there is something hanging on the door…

Page 7 Sane(?): Ah, it’s true. What is this? Kouta(?): Is it a prank? Chika: ? Sane(?): I don’t get it tho (don’t get the meaning). Chika: What a pain, what is it…

Page 8 Note: Welcome home

Page 9 Uzuki [flashback]: -----Chika Sfx: badump Sane(?): There’s something really creepy about that “Welcome home” Chika [Thoughts]: What’s… this…. Sane(?): I wonder who put this here…

Page 10 Chika[thoughts]: The instruments…!! Sane: Chika? Sfx: ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump Sane: What is it? Chika: Eh… ah.. no. Chika: …it’s nothing. Let’s start practicing already. Sane: …? Yeah… Chika: …

Sfx: ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump Sane: Agh, I’m so tired!

Page 11 Sane: I can’t go anymore--- Kouta: Enough… Is impossible. Tetsuki: You guys have not even been at it 20 minutes… Where did your club concentration go? (The concentration you use for club). Kouta: We left it at the club room--- Tetsuki[sfx]: Forehead flick Chika: Dah! Chika: What the hell!! Tetsuki: I was wondering if you fell asleep with your eyes open. Chika: I was just studying seriously!! Kouta: Eh, that can’t be. Are you ok? Sane: Do you feel sick? Chika: You guys… Chika: Damnit, my concentration just disappeared. I’m going to the bathroom! Kota: Haha see ya---! Sane, Kota, Tetsuki: …

Page 12 Tetsuki: Did something happen to him at club? Sane: No… It’s not like something happened but… Kota: He has been acting strange ever since he saw that poster. Tetsuki: Poster? Sane: It’s not like there was something specially bad written on it. Sane: There was a paper with “Welcome Home” written on it hanging at the club’s room door. Tetsuki: ! Sane: …Does that tell you anything? Tetsuki: Eh? Ah, no.

Page 13 Tetsuki: More importantly, you guys concentrate and study. It wouldn’t be funny if you couldn’t go to the Nationals cause you failed. Sane, Kota: Ugh. Sane: For real tho Tetsuki: ----… Chika[thoughts]: …It’s all right. I bet it’s just my imagination. Chika[thoughts]: It’s been more than a year since I last saw Uzuki. The letters on the poster too… they are probably a coincidence.

Page 14 Chika[thoughts]: If they are not a coincidence… Chika[thoughts]: I--- Momoya[sfx]: close Tetsuki[sfx]: Bam

Page 15 Tetsuki: Is it true that you are Uzuki’s little brother? Tetsuki:….Okay, got it. Let’s have a talk.

Page 16 Netsu: Who did you hear it from? Tetsuki: Abiko Natsu: Aaah, that frivolous-looking guy. Natsu: I’ve only met him once before. His mouth is as big as it looks (he talks way too much) Tetsuki: … Natsu: So? What can I do for you? Netsu: You didn’t just want to make sure if we were really brothers, right? I would appreciate if you were quick to tell me what’s what you want. Tetsuki: Let me get straight to the point then. The poster on the club room’s door. Was it you? Natsu: ? What’s that?

Page 17 Tetsuki: You entered the Koto club after knowing about the relationship between Chika and Uzuki, right? What are you doing? With what intentions did you join the club? Momoya: …Ha? Momoya: Um… I’m sorry I am not seeing the problem… can’t I join the club where my brother’s friend is? Tetsuki: Friend? Tetsuki: …Could it be… You don’t know about Chika’s incident? Momoya: Eh? Tetsuki: Not the rumors, the true story. Momoya: aaah.

Page 18 Momoya: Kudou is the one who supposedly did it, but in reality, he was set up. You mean that? Tetsuki: Is that what Uzuki said? Momoya; Yeah? Tetsuki: Is that all you know? Momoya: Yeah, why? Tetsuki: That bastard, Uzuki Tetsuki: Haaah Tetsuki[thoughts]: …what do I do now? Tetsuki[thoughts]: This is terrible for Momoya. Momoya: For real, what is it… Momoya: The point of all of this… Tetsuki[remembering]: He is all right, Momoya Tetsuki[remembering]: I like his sound.

Page 19 Tetsuki: Uzuki set him up. Momoya: ---…Ha…? Tetsuki: He wasn’t the perpetrator, but Uzuki hired some guys to do it.

Momoya: Where did you get this information? Tetsuki: The culprits. They said it themselves.

Page 20 Momoya: …wait… wait a second, please… eh? Tetsuki: He is your brother, I’m not asking you to believe me. Momoya: To be honest, I don’t actually know. Momoya:  I don’t know much about that guy. Momoya: He is my half-brother. We don’t even live together. Momoya: we only get in contact occasionally. Momoya: Our parents don’t even know we know each other. Tetsuki: Kinda sounds complicated.

Page 21 Momoya: Not really. My mom was the mistress. There are plenty of stories like that (it happens a lot) Momoya: I met him when I was researching about my father. Tetsuki: … Momoya: leaving that aside, if that story its true that guy is (in?) big trouble. That’s a crime. (Might say Chika is in big trouble or that Uzuki is big trouble) Momoya: fuah Haha, this is not funny… Tetsuki: … Are you ok? Momoya: I’m fine. I’m used to my relatives being liars (I am used to my family lying to me) Tetsuki: That’s not something one gets use to.

Page 22 Momoya: Kudou-senpai doesn’t know we are brothers yet, right? Tetsuki: I have no intention for him to hear it from my mouth. I don’t talk about family matters, but… (I don’t usually talk about personal matters like that) Momoya: You thought that guy might use me this time to do something, is that right? Tetsuki: I’m sorry. Momoya: No… You might not be in the wrong there.

Momoya: Yesterday that guy came to see me about Kudou-senpai. Chika[sfx]: plang Takezou: Kudou-kun, are you ok? Chika: Eh?

Page 24 Satowa: Ever since yesterday, there has been too much disruption in your performance (Your performance has been disturbing since yesterday) Chika: I- I’m sorry. I was studying for the tests and… I’m irritated. Takezou: Is that the truth? Chika[thoughts]: If- That was not a coincidence Chika[thoughts]: I-

Page 25 Chika[thoughts]: This guys- Chika: -Yeah, sorry. Chika[thoughts]: This place Chika[thoughts]: I will absolutely protect it Chika[thoughts]: No matter what happens Chika[thoughts]: No matter the price Tetsuki[thoughts]: That bastard Uzuki… To sacrifice his own little brother. You wanna drag Chika down with you? At this time before tests, before the nationals… When its such a fucking busy time

Page 26 Tetsuki: Like I’m gonna let that happen. Momoya[remembers]: it’s been a while, Natsu. [flashback begins] Uzuki: Have you been well? How are you and dad lately? Momoya:  we haven’t seen each other in a long time Uzuki: I see…

Uzuki: Ah! That reminds me, I saw you on TV! Amazing, you going to the Nationals surprised me! Uzuki: It surprised me that you were interested in koto. I can’t believe you are in the same club as Chika.

Page 27 Momoya: …No, I mean… My motivation to join the club was Kudou-senpai. Uzuki: Eh? Is that so!? Uzuki: …I didn’t Chika held so much of your interest. Is it because he often hung out with me? Momoya: Well, I guess there’s some of that too but… On New Year’s I went to the shopping mall and I saw him perform. He changed so much he looked like a completely different person. Uzuki: ha ha A different person? Momoya: When he was in Middle School, whenever I saw him he had injuries in his face and his eyes looked dead. Momoya: What made him change that much? I was genuinely curious.

Page 28 Uzuki: Heeeh… So? Since you joined that club have you come to understand the reason? Momoya: ….. Momoya: …. Well…. Sorta? Uzuki: fu fu It’s the first time I’ve seen you make a face like that. Momoya: …. Uzuki: What a lovely club. How nice! Seems fun. Momoya: And you? How have you been lately? Uzuki: Hm? Nothing at all. Uzuki: There is nothing fun…

Page 29 Uzuki: …Hey, Natsu. Will you do me a favor? Momoya: A favor? Uzuki: Yeah Uzuki: You see, I never told you this but I Chika and I got into a fight. And ever since then we haven’t seen each other.

Momoya: Eh. Uzuki: Just when I thought it was impossible, I found that you are connected to him too. Uzuki: It kinda felt like destiny. Uzuki: ---So

Page 30 Uzuki: Would you help me make up with him?

[flashback ends] Momoya[remembering]: Don’t give up. Momoya[remembering]: You are seriously awesome!!! Momoya[remembering]: I put you in an uncomfortable situation again, I’m sorry. Momoya[remembering]: Thanks. Momoya[remembering]: Uzuki was the one to set him up. Momoya: …Ha… Momoya: …What is with that…

Page 31 Sign: Meiryo High School (Remember: one of the clubs they are gonna face in the Nationals, and the school Takezou’s little brother goes. Really prestigious) Abiko: Uzuki-kun! Uzuki: …Yuuji Uzuki: Didn’t I tell you not to come looking for me at school? Someone like you sticks out too much in a place like this Abiko: Hey, don’t be an ass. Abiko: It just looks like a gloomy guy getting tangled up with a delinquent. Uzuki: I don’t want that …So? Did you want something?

Page 32 Abiko: I went ahead and delivered a love letter to Chika. “Wellcome Home---” It said. Abiko: I secretly put it on the door of the club room! kekeke Uzuki: ...analog huh, in a time when you can destroy someone with just one finger.

Abiko: Don't lump me in with people who wield knives so recklessly (unconciusly). Abiko: I want to feel it. Abiko: That I’m hurting him. That I’m breaking him. Abiko: If not, then that would be no fun! Uzuki: Huuun, well I don’t care either way.

Page 33 Uzuki: This time I’ll make Chika understand where the place he should be really is. Side text: The distorted expression of affection for Chika shifts from the Gen to the Koto club.

-----------------------Continues on the next issue!-------------------

[kittasune]

“winter warmth”

“WINTER WARMTH”

“WINTER WARMTH”

📘┊pairing. akaashi keiji x gn!reader

🔖┊tags. post-time skip, fluff, co-worker friends to lovers, mutual pinning, holidays, seasons abloom

📚┊wc. 4.3k

📖┊note. I wrote this for akaashi’s birthday but i’ve been meaning to write this fic for a long time now. well, here’s my first fic posted on tumblr! feel free to message me your thoughts! i plan to make this an on-going series of small one-shots so… please expect more in the future.

The biting cold that accompanies the change in seasons looms over the metropolitan city of Tokyo, the city where Akaasji Keiji was born, where his career is, and most importantly; where the love of his life is – the International Library of Children’s Literature. Literature has always been one of Akaashi’s passions to pursue as it opens endless doors of opportunities that could grant him success in the future. The majority of his stress stems from his work,

“Having a job and a stable career makes you successful!”

“You should have a steady income first before you pursue your passions so you have a stable foundation to fall back on just in case things don’t work out, Akaashi-san.”

He can hear the string of back-handed compliments and empty advice he’s received from co-workers and relatives alike echo in the back of his mind, clouding his thoughts and possible future realities he wishes to envision. Literature is one of his hobbies that became his career due to his love that caused him to become attached. Manga, novels, plays, poetry, and even textbooks sometimes caught Akaashi’s attention and he couldn’t help but consume the knowledge and navigate the uncharted waters that flow through the pages in inky waves. The beautiful thought of literature that had once been untouched and pure in Akaashi’s child-like wondrous mind has now become something as lifeless as house-hold chores to check off a list.

Now, as he sits at his desk in his office cubicle eying the unsurmountable manga panels that consume more than half of his desk with their shiny patent ink and crisp lines framing the edges of each page – he can’t help but sigh.

“You know, I’ve always been told that it’s bad luck to sigh.” Akaashi perked up at the sound of ceramic hitting the surface of his white acrylic desk. He looks up to see you holding a matching mug brimming with the café nectar that he so desperately needs. 

“Is that so? You sound so sure of yourself considering that your break ended 5 minutes ago.” Akaashi hid his face in his hands to mask the upturned corners of his lips pulling into a smirk.

“Thank you for the coffee, I know that I’ll need it considering that Hide x Seek’s 100th Chapter is going to be released in this edition of Shonen Jump.”

“I heard that from Udai-san, he seemed so excited that he wanted to make this chapter special by making it holiday-themed with all the holidays being piled all together at the end of the year.” You said with a look of contemplation as you sipped the burning liquid in your mug.

“Have you read Hide x Seek before?” Akaashi leans back in his office chair and sets his gaze upon you while placing the cup next to his lips, the creaky sound apparent from the quality of wornness and evidence of sleepless nights he’s spent hunched over reviewing and editing the work assigned to him.

“I think I’ve read it once before, it’s the one where the high school students hide from an intruder but they don’t know who’s the intruder… but it ends up being the ghost of a former student that seeks to kill out of revenge and spite the higher-ups who have wronged her, right?” You said while fixating your gaze to the edge of his desk as if to recall the synopsis from memory, your coffee mug was left forgotten on Akaashi’s desk as you appear lost in your thoughts.

“Not quite, you just said the plot summary of Peek-a-boo? not Hide x Seek.”

Akaashi said while looking pointedly at your mug on his desk that would surely leave a faint circle as he knows you tend to haphazardly spill its contents as you “vigorously” stir your coffee to ensure that all additives are well-mixed. He recalls asking as to why making a vortex in a cup smaller than his hand is necessary, to which, you responded,

“I need everyone to get along harmoniously and seamlessly blend with one another, imagine drinking a cup of coffee that you’ve prepared and longed for only for it to have lumps and chunks at the bottom, no-thank-you!”

The dim grimace on your face spoke volumes of a less-than-happy experience you must have gone through and as a result, the chaotic meticulousness of your coffee shenanigans intrigued Akaashi to befriend you.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice you flush red at the realization that you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your co-worker, friend, and “potential suitor” as your friend lightly put as a shallow jab at your private love-life *hint – it’s practically non-existent.

You sigh. “Maybe I’ll give Hide x Seek a read during a vacation or something.” You mumble the words, cursing yourself for looking like a fool in front of your longtime friend, Akaashi Keiji.

The image of you grumbling and lamenting in front of Akaashi mirrors a panel sitting on his desk that has him fondly reminiscing the same image of you from last spring about how you had no one to accompany you to the Hanami Festival and so, he acquiesced to your invitation thus, establishing a tradition in your friendly relationship.

“I think it would be best to return to your desk, y/n, wouldn’t want to lose the privilege of seeing you every day and being the object of your admiration.” Akaashi propped himself up on his desk, resting his head on his forearms in a lazy slouch peering up at you with one eyebrow raised and a ghost of a smile playing upon his lips.

“You should really stop flirting with me at work, Akaashi. One of these days I might get the wrong idea and think you’re into me or something…” You chastise him while walking back to your desk which is conveniently next to Akaashi’s.

“I’m hopelessly enamored at the thought of you and it frightens me to think of a day where you’ll be missing from my side…”  Akaashi thought as he proceeded to leaf through the panels laid out strategically on his desk. He looked over at you as you started to situate yourself with your work and said, “I wouldn’t sigh if I were you, I heard that if you sigh it brings you bad luck.”

“Stop mocking me and go do your work!”

          ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The clock struck at 5:00 P.M., then at 6:00 P.M., just right before the clock struck at 7:00 P.M. you blearily glance at the time blaring in the corner of your monitor and drift your eyes to the decorative hourglass sitting on your desk. The intricate gold timepiece hid tucked away in the corner of your desk hiding behind a framed picture of you and Akaashi posed in front of a bookstore where a work-related event took place. A faint memory surfaces from the back of your subconscious from earlier this year.

“Akaashi, why do you have a plastic apple on your desk?” You glare at the object as a red plastic apple seems so peculiar to associate with Akaashi, in your mind at least, so you questioned its purpose. Is it for sentimental reasons? Are apples his favorite type of fruit? Do apples have an artistic appeal or is it just a trend?

“It’s a tomato.” He responded, not once looking up to acknowledge your effort to engage in conversation. As Akaashi is seemingly focused on the task at hand, you further prodded with your innocent questions wanting his attention so you could lose yourself in the oceans that reside in his deep blue eyes.

“Then, why do you have a tomato on your desk?”

“Keeps me focused on the task at hand. Have you heard of the Pomodoro technique before, y/n?” Akaashi still focused on his work while you continued questioning.

“The time management one, right? I think I’ve read about it somewhere before if I’m being honest…” You lose yourself in your thoughts as you attempted to recall the correct definition from an online blog you briefly glanced at.

“Then you should know about how it helps you complete your work in a timely manner while balancing the efficacy and quality of the work produced.” Akaashi stopped in his ministrations and averts his attention to the now glaringly pointless object occupying space on his desk that was a prize Bokuto won at the Momiji-gari festival they attended together last October.

“Yes, that’s the time management aspect after all.”

“If I may then, why is it you stress about not having enough seconds in a minute, enough minutes in an hour, and not enough hours in a day to complete your work and yet have all the time to talk to me well over your allotted break time?” he swivels around in his chair to face you, steel blue eyes locked in a heated rage-ridden gaze with yours.

Too stunned to talk from the blunt harshness of his words, you reply, “Quite snappy today are we? At least I know now you pay attention when I mindlessly make a fuss about my workload.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you with my statement, I was going for light-hearted banter at best… I guess I can blame it on the weather. The heatwave must be getting the better of me.” Akaashi said while pulling at his necktie, an excuse to keep his hands preoccupied and mind distracted in avoidance from the awkward silence beginning to build between the two of you.

“Tell me about it, I never really liked summer as a season or the heat.” You crinkle your upturned nose in an act of disdain as you face the glass windows doing nothing to shield you from the overbearing sunlight pouring into the office.

“With summer comes the sun, with the sun comes light, and with light comes warmth,” Akaashi says so matter-of-factly that makes you wonder what’s his favorite holiday. He interrupts your train of thought by asking, “What’s your favorite holiday, y/n- san?”

“Winter, I like the snow. Or more of what snow symbolizes…” you trail off towards the end of your sentence deep in thought.

“Usually people like winter because of the holidays and spending time with their loved ones under a kotatsu. What’s so enchanting about snow? When you touch it, it just melts… not to mention it’s cold.” Akaashi looks over at you inquisitively that could almost be mistaken for scrutiny if a stranger were to eavesdrop between you two.

“If you are out in the first snowfall of the season with someone you like, true love will blossom between you.” You recite from memory what the old woman who owned the corner store grocery near your place told you during your times as a highschooler.

“Besides love, if you make a wish when the first snow blankets the city your wish will come true.” You swing your legs to-and-fro underneath your desk covered from the public’s eye but Akaashi can tell it’s one of your habits you do when you’re excited. The sparkle in your eye accompanied by the ecstatic hand gestures would also giveaway your feelings of excitement but Akaashi knows better. You stop in your motions and jerk towards him almost like you’ve had an epiphany, the sparkle in your eye flashed again mimicking that of a light-bulb going off.

“Snow also signifies that all lies will be forgotten, isn’t that refreshing? The thought of new beginnings with the first snow sounds so romantic! I wish I had someone to enjoy it with…” You take a chance and glance at Akaashi to gauge his reaction to your statement, he already beat your intentions by turning back to face his desk at lightning speed so you wouldn’t see the faint flush of red on his cheeks that bloomed after your profession of love for snow. He didn’t want you to know he was flustered because of the way you turned to him and uttered the words ‘besides love,’ to his face, and the realization that he was going to respond with a simple, ‘hm?’ had him leaning further into his desk in embarrassment.  

“Akaashi, what’s your favorite season? You know mine and my reason now.”

“Same as you, I like winter.”

“Why?”

“The holidays.”

“Boring!”

            ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

You shake your head in strong efforts to clear the fog that clouded your mind during that flashback.

“Nodding off so soon?” Akaashi’s voice startled you back to reality as you whip your head towards him.

“It’s almost 7:00, we were supposed to get off work an hour ago like someone said..” you fix your steely gaze on his figure hoping he could feel the mock-resentment radiating off you in waves. “I hope we get overtime pay for this as this isn’t the first time this has happened.” You lean against the back of your chair raising your arms above your head in a half-stretch with valiant efforts to hear the satisfying pop of your back.

“I made no promises, I was going to tell you this when we got off but Udai-san said we have the day-off tomorrow. The reason behind it ‘to reward you guys for your dedication to the company’ were his exact words.” Akaashi said as he began to clear his desk wanting to get to his apartment as soon as possible to sleep. This week took more of a toll on him than he would like to admit, the endless piles of work, deadlines to meet, and the cold that accompanied the winter months were taking a toll on him. The holiday season’s cold seeped into the bitterness of Akaashi’s hidden emotions, like an ice pick scratching the surface of Akaashi’s lonesome facade he tried to hide under cool indifference. In stark contrast, you acted as sunshine that brought the warmth that he desired to thaw his endless winters.  

“Done with your work, too? Let’s go home.” His sunshine that spread light and illuminated the darkness that clouds his mind.

            ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The walk from the subway station to the shared apartment complex was only a 10-minute walk but tonight it seemed never-ending to Akaashi. The time was almost 8:00 and the streets seemed less deserted than usual. The city lights glimmer looked dim in comparison to past nights and the mood almost felt too solemn with the holidays around the corner. Akaashi was lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice the crosswalk light flickered to red signaling the oncoming traffic to cross the road, if it wasn’t for you pulling him by the back of his jacket… he ignores the thought that briefly filters across his mind.

“Akaashi, are you alright? I wasn’t going to mention it but you’ve seemed more aloof than usual.” You said while gripping onto the back of his jacket tightly almost grasping him in a silent plea.

“I’m fine.” He responds curtly while maneuvering his tall frame in an off-handed demeanor that cues for you to let-go. This action only fuels your act of defiance to pull him harder in your direction causing your bodies to collide clumsily disrupting the systematic ebb-and-flow that is pedestrian traffic. As you and Akaashi apologize and wait for the crosswalk sign to turn green, you can’t help but laugh which makes Akaashi let-out a small chuckle as he realizes what a commotion your exchange must have looked like.

“We make for entertaining crowd spectacles,” He spoke softly through a genuine small smile that washed over his handsome features that could have rivaled ‘any top celebrity that calls themselves a pretty boy,’ in your words, not his. The cold weather combined with the hotness radiating from his silent chuckles caused a light layer of condensation to form on his glasses’ lenses. As the haze rendered him sightless, he took off his glasses, pulled out his handkerchief he kept tucked away in his inner jacket pocket, and proceeded to clean his square frames. You took this opportunity to admire the man before you. His brown hair fell gracefully in a light tousled manner as a result of his hands raking through them from stress. Your gaze shifted to his hands, his hands easily engulfed the metal frames balancing delicately in between his slender fingers that looked natural holding the awkward position for prolonged periods of time. Your eyes flit over his face that was normally impassive and difficult to read, now his cool indifference shifted to a look of frustration. The furrow of his thick brows and the faint vertical lines creasing in the center of his eyebrows almost made Akaashi look younger.

‘He looks like a petulant child being told what to do’ you mused to yourself. When he felt content with the cleanliness of his glasses, Akaashi scanned his surroundings to see where you led him to. He realizes that you stopped right in front of the steps to his favorite place in all of Tokyo – the International Library of Children’s Literature. Even with the library being closed as evident by the lack of people and dimmed lights, he still found this place breathtaking.

“The architecture of this library looks similar to the Palace of Versailles don’t you think so, Akaashi? That was one of my first impressions when you first brought me here, I just forgot about it but remembered after seeing this place again” You said as you stared in awe at the smooth concrete walls and tall glass windows with lattice fixtures intricately lining the tall double doors that greeted over 1,000 visitors each day.

“The International Library of Children’s Literature, originally called the Imperial Library, was constructed by the Tokyo Metropolitan Government under the Meiji era in 1906. The artistic movement that inspired the architect was the Renaissance movement which explains the Western-like elements incorporated into the building’s design.” Akaashi recited from memory and turned to you after he finished his statement only to find you already facing him, eyes widened and mouth agape in surprise. After seeing your reaction he turns back to the building and says in a soft whisper, “This place brings back fond memories,” while unconsciously playing with his hands, fingers intertwining with one another in a playful open and close. He can feel your gaze openly assessing his figure standing awkwardly in the library’s pathway, he knows that you want the answers as to why he’s acting less like his “usual” self. You find yourself confused by Akaashi’s paradoxical behavior, sometimes he’s willing to let small cracks appear in his otherwise smooth facade of coolness, and other times he shrugs you off in efforts to maintain his cool indifference. His true emotions are caught and given to you in minuscule pieces and this frustrates you as you wish to be with the man that’s always beside you and occupies your mind all the time.

Akaashi can’t help but feel the subtle self-conscious feeling starting to arise after pondering how out of place you and him look at the moment, two people standing alone in front of a closed library engaged in a heated silent exchange. His heart sank when he realized that you two could almost be mistaken as a couple with the way the both of you look now, he wishes for this to be real, his wish is to be with you. Akaashi wishes for you to know his true feelings and declare his love for you and yet, he finds himself biting his lips to silence himself in spite of his friends saying he has a chance of being with you.

The shuffling of feet is heard as you shift your weight from right-to-left and your avoidance of all eye-contact are all tall tale signs of your unsureness, your actions break Akaashi from his own thoughts as he raises his head to see you standing closer to him than earlier.

‘You’re so close I could kiss you right now.’ He wants to say, even in a playful manner but is too afraid to be caught expressing his true feelings even through teasing comments.

“Akaashi, what are you thinking about right now?” You ask in a futile attempt for him to confide in you what thoughts occupy his brain that’s causing him to both distance himself from you emotionally.

Just as Akaashi begins to open his mouth he’s interrupted by an abrupt shout that causes the both of you to stop all conversation.

“Look mom, it’s snowing!”

Childlike excitement blanketed the distanced onlookers frolicking the crosswalks as snowflakes kissed the cherry red noses of daily commuters and people doing last-minute gift shopping. You and Akaashi fix your gazes up to the dark depths of the night sky now obstructed by the white flurries of snow clouds now hovering over all of Tokyo.

‘It’s now or never,” Akaashi thinks to himself, ‘if I can’t do it now, when will I ever get the chance again?’ Akaashi takes a deep inhale and closes his eyes to bask in the brisk coolness the winter air has brought with the changing of seasons.

“I think about how seasons shift out in a cycle of four and I find myself not being able to cope with each change.” He breathes out finally and continues, you stare at him in silent apprehension while anticipating each word.

“Seasons change, people change, and yet I find myself coming back to you… meeting in the same place where we first met each other. Fate has a funny way of telling us that we’re supposed to be together. Coincidence has a hand in pushing us together hinting that we’re meant to be. Destiny is telling me that you’re the one but, choice whispers it’s harsh words of reality only permissible when conditions are met that echoes in my thoughtless mind every sleepless night.” Akaashi locks your eyes in a steady gaze, your eyes widened in shock while his eyes portray a deep-rooted passion now surfacing after being hidden for so long.

“Our love is blossoming like the sakura trees in the spring, a love that mirrors the perennial endless summer hydrangeas in the courtyard in front of our apartment building. A love in which I catch myself falling for you like the leaves during the autumnal months. A love that engulfs me in the warmth of the fire, with its ember flicks illuminating your faint silhouette as we embrace each other in the moonlight. Falling in love with you was experiencing a life I have not lived before, for the first time I welcomed the uncertainty, my fears, my doubts never once clouded my mind. You are my moonlight that illuminates my path in the inky depths of nightfall. My starlight when I look to the sky brimming with untold stories in your constellations that guide me back to you. I want to be with you during the first snowfall of each winter. I want to experience each change of the seasons with you, I want you by my side to accompany me as we live our lives – I wish to be together with you.”

Akaashi finishes his confession of true feelings for you and a sense of relief washes over him as a weight has been lifted from his chest. Akaashi starts fiddling with a loose thread in his pockets starting to feel anxious at the sight of you as he begins to anticipate your response since you haven’t spoken since it started snowing. The feeling of temporary relief was now replaced with a sense of dread fueled by his self-doubts and the thought of rejection, he averts his gaze downward to avoid meeting your eyes.

Akaashi stayed cemented in his place with no signs of moving, so you decided to close the distance between you two. Feeling bolder after Akaashi’s profession as you were reeling from the excitement of seeing snow paired with your feelings being returned by the one you love, you grab his jacket sleeve to signal for him to remove his hand from his pocket and slowly begin to intertwine hands. He shifts his gaze from your interlocked hands to look at you, as he scans your face to gauge your reaction, he finds himself surprised by the beaming smile matching your bright energy and warmth that rivals the sun during the summer months. Your actions and the bright reaction is all the confirmation he needs to know if you reciprocate his feelings so he steers you, hands intertwined, in the direction of your shared apartment complex.

“What about your wish, did it come true?” Akaashi asks while he notices you started to swing your joined hands unconsciously, ‘probably out of habit,’ he thinks to himself silently while a smile threatens to breach his lips. You stop him and take his other-hand so now he’s facing you, you want his full attention as now, it’s your turn to confess.

“My wish was always to be with you, you’re my happiness and the reason for me to continue to live and grow. When I’m with you I’m at my happiest and your constant presence has always been comforting. The sureness in your voice and actions speak volumes about your reliability and the love you have for others. My wish was for you to see the light in yourself and for you to realize that you are loved and needed, not just I think this way but your friends Bokuto, Kuroo, Kenma, and everyone else you’ve met and encountered will agree with me on this point I’m trying to make. I love you, Akaashi Keiji and I wish to be with you… if you’d let me.”

Compared to the shuffling of footsteps and avoidance of eye-contact from earlier that hinted towards your unsureness, Akaashi can see the confidence in your stance and actions as you grasp onto his hands, the unwavering sureness you exude while maintaining eye-contact has Akaashi falling in love with you over again. The brightness in your eyes and cheery playfulness reminds him of the reasons he fell for you in the first place and he senses that he will keep finding reasons to fall in love with you over and over again.

“Let’s go home now, sunshine. I’m afraid that your warmth will melt the winter snow.”

[yaypinecones]

Here are fan made fetch moduses. They’re not mine but it gave ideas what they would look like and write my own descriptions. Feel free to use them as you wish :)

Camera Modus: It can take pictures on one focused object to 35-50 cm away on the fetch modus card camera (top right). After taking a picture, it would create a clone of the object on your captchalogue inventory. It can be a great practice to take pictures, just don’t take pictures of yourself.

Settings:

Instagram mode- It doesn’t really do anything special except put any radon filter in your fetch modus over what it displays. It’s dumb, but hey it gives you a ton of likes. likes actually don’t exist in your modus or an app for it.

Snapchat mode- I’m not sure why you would need filters to captchlogue an item. If you use this one, I definitely recommend the dog or flower crown filter.

VSCO mode- It’s more about the aesthetics to be honest. Not for those who dresses up in long over sized shirts with a bunch of poofy hair ties and purposely drop their water bottles to make weird noises

Limit: can take 10 film inventories, more than that can eject the last inventory. The object you want to captchalogue has to be on the cameras focuse or else the picture would look blurry and would not clone the item.

Book Modus: A simple modus that comes with a actual book. When you captchlogue an item, it would gives you their description and their captch code. It would also receive a page inside the book as it could give more its abilities, uses, history, common location, and combinations with other items. Pretty useful and it’s possible to captchalogue the book itself. You don’t wanna carry it around all day.

Settings:

Academic mode- Yup all that math, science, language arts, health, and history you’ve read for school is coming back to you. What sucks is these books are the books you’ve read before when you were younger...so they’re probably out dated. Which sucks.

Encyclopedia mode- AKA Wikipedia, Dictionary, or Thesaurus if you want to call that. Basically find what word you want and look through the entire book to find what it means or what’s similar to it. I doubt you want find the amounted of pages it has because it never ends. Sometimes too much words can lead you the short end of the stick or just completely lost.

Journal mode- A thought of someone their own writing to collect their ideas and observations. You can make your own journal if you want. Like writing down what your doing or your grocery list. Actually just write what it feels like to you.

Magazine mode- Now we’re on the good stuff. Good stuff as in gossip and trends. What? At least there’s something to entertain yourself than looking through those stressful words every single to time. You just need to relax and read the latest celebrity gossip. OooOo.

Newspaper mode- Wait how can there be a newspaper in a book? Well at it lets you know what happening daily in other places or locally. Contains huge headlines, unnecessary words, really big photos, and a lot of advertisements.

Limit: There’s no storage limit on this fetch modus but it’s recommended to have 12 items. Unless if you want to have a bunch of words thrown into you to the point it becomes a encyclopedia. Also item eject? What’s that? Uh oh.

Money Modus: This lets you store any item but you have to access the item by inserting a specific amount of money. It is very different in every item. Isn’t it a mix of an ATMs and a shop? I don’t know, but at least they are in a reasonable price. This is not meant for cheap scapes. Sometimes the capchalogue item is has the similar price to real life price list. [Ex. A real life a fridge cost $1,000-2,000]

Settings:

Currency change mode- Your not sure why people need a specific currency. This setting is so stupid, it makes you wonder who needs this?

Bank mode- Yes you heard it right, you can store money in this fetch modus. It’s great for people that has no where else to store their money. This can be your own personal piggy bank.

Limit: This has unlimited storage. The bigger and expensive the item, the more expensive the price you need to access the item. The more you store items, you need to spend a lot of your money. No, you cannot argue the card to lower the price ya silly goose.

Mask Modus: A modus where you wear many persona’s. The mask are in variety in colors that represents a certain character. You can also type a certain personality on your own personas. To capchalogue an item, you have to match a certain persona that matches or similar to the item.

Limit: The maximum storage contains 16 items. Over 16 items would refuse the recent item unless you remove an item or combine one of them. If successful, the item would be capchalogue and freely gain access with wearing a mask. If your didn’t match a right mask or was unsuccessful, the modus card would eject the last item you capchalogued at you.

Binary Modus: You can summon any item by converting the letters into binary coding. This modus must be navigated manually and you can also search for item numbered too.

[Ex. 01001001 01000011 01010101 01010000] Wait a second...Eww man.

Limit: Unlimited storage unit and when summoning an item, it has to be a real thing. Sorry but no bear-cat-rabbit-elephant thing or completely made up words  would appear. Especially, you can’t summon huge items like a building or the sun. That can just break your modus. Please limit yourself there buddy.

Dominoes Modus: No, sadly you can’t order pizza. When you capchalogue an item, many dominoes from the card spill out and you have to assemble each and every domino to the other.

Limit: there are 6 inventories you can capchalogue. Nothing more, nothing less. More than 6 would eject the last item.

Dartboard Modus: You can freely capchalogue an item, but retrieving an item can summon a dartboard. You need to throw a dart at one of the rings or bullseyes. The less important items are on the large farther rings and the more important ones art in the smaller rings and bullseyes,

Limit: you can store 82 items. Now that’s a lot but you need to have good aim. Hitting the center of the bullseye can randomly give you an important item for the future.

Prey Modus: When an item is capchalogued, it would spawn a small animal. These animals would depend on what the item is. if the user wants to get the get the item back, they will have to fight and kill whatever creature the item has been allocated to. once the creature is dead, the item appears

[Ex. a computer mouse would spawn a weak mouse (ayy)]

Limit: You can only store 8 slots and over more than 8 can have an animal come out depending on the item. Hopefully you don’t eject any important items. Anything important would release an animal that is not a prey or maybe a replica of the first guardian.

Shuffle Modus: Every time you capchalogue an item, it changes every second with other items you also capchalogued. It can be lucky or unlucky depending how your going to draw this.

Limit: It can hold as much as any items. The more you add items, the more frustrating it gets to retrieve the item you want.

Backpack Modus: This modus can store items by the cards weight which is also a backpack. You can simply open the backpack to retrieve and item. You can capchalogued the backpack itself, but I don’t think your fetch modus can handle the weight you put into there.

Limit: Feel free to store the amount of junk you can carry as it can weigh you down. It acts like a normal backpack. What else should I say?

“Stack” Modus: Haha no, it’s a Massive Ejection Modus you fool. It may look like a normal stack modus but can intensity eject massive amounts of items at once that are multiplied by 100. Once you want to retrieve it, 99 copies eject violently from the captchacard and explode out of your card. Its mostly going to destroy mostly anything and injuring anyone near you.

Limit: Basically you only have one slot inventory and that’s sad. Is this modus even legal!?!? Ejecting 99 items at someone can be potentially be a strife specibus. Just saying.

Wardrobe Modus: This modus can capchalogued any articles of clothing. Attempting to captchalouge something other than clothing will result in said item being sent somewhere you can no longer receive. This is pretty useless like the other mentioned modus we talked about.

Settings:

Hat mode- A place where your hats can live in harmony with other simpleton hats.

Earrings mode- Fancy, expensive, or cheap earrings can come join.

Glasses mode- Look at you nerd. Or cool kid. Whatever you are.

Shirt mode- Look, there are many things you can put on there. The most likely to be over flowed.

Pants mode- Or skirts, shorts, or anything that goes on your legs

Socks mode- A hell place where all sinful gross smelly socks and clean socks go.

Shoes mode- Just don’t put those dirty shoes on the wood. Keep them clean and dry.

Limit: you have unlimited storage and only meant for clothes. This is perfect for people that don’t know where else to put their seasonal clothes to. Summer, fall, winter, spring, you name it.

[rinari7]

@slytherintothedragonsden​ and @ciara-jane​ Many many thanks for the topic suggestion! And I have other reports I’ll have to do, so I’m saving the other topics away as well for those! :3

All right, buckle up folks! By popular demand, we're talking about bicycle gears!

This will probably be more information than any average consumer wants or needs to know, but I had to make it report length, so my apologies! But I'll try to be concise, and I'll do my best to keep the maths to a minimum for those of you sensitive to such things. ;)

The term "gear" or “speed” in this particular context refers to a particular arrangement of toothed wheels, disks, or shafts that translates torque generated by either a motor, someone’s pedaling, or a combination of both, into the physical speed of the bike on the path. Put more simply, a “gear” is a particular “translation” of turns of the crank arms to turns of the back wheel.

So people have more of an idea of precisely what I’m referring to, here on a modern utility/mountain bike chain drivetrain and gear setup:

1. crank arm

2. chainrings

3. front derailleur

4. chain

5. rear sprockets (together also called a cassette, that are attached to the hub of the rear wheel and drive it)

6. rear derailleur

The first bikes only had one “gear” — the pedals and crank arms were affixed directly to the wheel hub. One crank arm revolution equals one wheel turn, one wheel circumference traveled. Incidentally, this is also why penny farthings became a Thing, as ridiculous as they looked and as dangerous as they were — people wanted to get farther with one crank arm revolution, and they were only really limited by the length of their legs and from what height they were willing to risk falling.

Still, gear-less bikes were less than ideal. Issues getting up a hill? Too bad, get stronk. Want to go faster? Pedal faster, lazybones. :P

For the people with a little more common sense or a healthy fear of heights, the “Safety” bicycle (coming to stores near? you in 1886!) got rid of such stupid things as an enormous front wheel, and sat the rider much closer to the ground. More importantly for the development of our modern bicycle transmission, it sat the rider in between the two wheels and used a chain to transfer torque from the pedals to the rear drive wheel.

(For the less physically gifted… physics-ly gifted? torque is force applied over a distance that makes something turn. However, distinguishing between torque and force is more an issue of pedantry and math-ish nerdery than any real key to understanding.)

In the early days, some people came up with the bright idea of putting two different sized cogs or sprockets on the opposite sides of the wheel. Two gears! Too bad you had to stop, get off, remove the rear wheel to flip it around, secure it again, and then get going again in your new gear. This only really became a Thing in racing, where the difference in speed mattered enough to justify that whole song-and-dance.

How does a different-sized rear sprocket make a difference in speed? I’m so glad you asked! (Warning: maths ahead, but I’ll try to make it painless.)

Y’all remember levers, right? (Excuse the terrible Microsoft Paint drawings I made at 11 at night, please.)

You can apply less force at the end of a longer “lever” and have the same effect as if you’d applied more force to a shorter lever. Mathematically, the equation is: F1 x l1 = F2 x l2.

(In the diagrams, F1 is the force of gravity pulling the box down, and F2 is the force exerted by the person, l1 the blue length and l2 the red length. They were originally color-coded like most of the bolded stuff but tumblr didn’t feel like working with me there.)

Now let’s take a look at the rear (driving) wheel of a bicycle. (Proportions exaggerated.)

Y’all see it too, right? Like, uh, either way the torque the chain applies to the sprocket (the blue side of the lever) is on the less advantageous side of the equation (smaller than red), but the larger gear offers a less-bad ratio.

So, why would anyone use a smaller gear? More force actually applied to the wheel on the road is better, right?

Not necessarily. If you’re moving forwards at a good clip, you’re good. If you apply too much force, there’s also the risk of the wheel slipping and losing traction on the road.

Also, I picked the icons I did for a reason. Notice how the larger gear has more teeth? That means it takes a longer length of chain to tug the larger gear around one complete revolution.

What if your chainring has only half as many teeth as your rear sprocket? The teeth are the same distance apart, same chain. That means you have to complete two revolutions of the crank arm to move one rear-wheel-circumference forwards.

There’s an equation for this, too: transmission ratio i = teeth of chainring ÷ teeth of rear sprocket = radius of chainring ÷ radius of rear sprocket = rotations of rear sprocket ÷ rotations of chainring. Any of those three possibilities will get you the same answer.

Note here that the lever principle applies to the pedal and chainrings as well.

In this case, a smaller chainring works in our favor, transferring more torque to the chain and thus to the rear wheel, but less speed.

If we put both of these aspects together, we have the combination small chainring + large rear sprocket giving us the maximum transmission of force from pedals to the rear wheel, but not much forwards speed. Conversely, the combination large chainring + small rear sprocket gives us a lot of forwards speed, but not much force — if we hit a hill we’re going to have a hard time.

Practically speaking: most bikes have two or three chainrings (controlled by the left gear shifter) and between 6 and 10 rear sprockets, though the trend is shifting back to one chainring and many rear sprockets in the super-high-end systems. (Also, with the advent of pedelecs and electric auxiliary motors, most people are now just switching the motor’s boost level instead of shifting chainrings).

To make things more concrete: my bicycle has 8 rear sprockets and 3 chainrings, in bike lingo 3 x 8 gears or speeds. I could say 24-speed, technically, but realistically there’s some overlap in there between different sprocket-chainring combinations, and some combinations I would realistically never use, like small chainring + small rear sprocket, or large chainring + large rear sprocket (not to mention that those kinds of extreme gear combinations can exacerbate chain wear).

On your gear shifters, the thing to remember is: if pedaling is difficult, shift down, to the lower numbers on the left and right displays. The indexing (assigned numbers to cogs) is nicely uncomplicated that way.

I’ve sprung forwards a bit historically, but hopefully that answers the questions of “what even are bike speeds and what do these wizard numbers mean?”

I’ll cut the history and rambling a bit short at this point: in 1930 the predecessor of modern chain-driven gearing systems, the Vittoria Margherita, was invented, and in the 1950s the basic design of modern derailleurs and chain gearing systems popped up, and has stuck around ever since. Shimano did a thing in the 1980s, designing hubs, cassette, pedals, chainrings, front and rear derailleurs, and most components of the drivetrain to specifically work best with the whole set of their parts, which… uh. Like, good that they offer a well-performing, smoothly-designed system, but locking you into buying only their stuff if you want your thing to work right? Not a huge fan. (The corporate side of bikes is. Uh. A whole thing. A whole-ass other ramble.) And now there’s electronic and wirelessly controlled gear shifters, but that’s most of the major developments in gear shifting.

The first widely available transmission system that could be operated without, uhhh, stopping and taking your bike partially apart, was actually an internal gear hub, invented by William Reilly in 1898. It had two (2) different settings. Eventually someone invented the luxury of three-speed hubs!

Internal gear hubs have a different construction, but the principle of the gears are the same: different-sized cogs translate the torque of the chain into more wheel rotations or more applied force to help you get up that damn hill. Nowadays there’s even 14-speed internal hub gears, and an interesting gearbox concept (Pinion is the company) that does the whole translating-through-gears at the bottom bracket and crank arm, entirely between the pedal and chain, instead of between chain and drive wheel.

There’s actually an interesting debate to be had on chain gears versus internal hub gears — they’re both good for different things. Vaguely, internal hub gears are less maintenance-intensive, since most of the mechanism is protected from the elements, but they’re heavier (not the choice of racers). Though you can shift gears at a standstill, you can’t shift if you’re putting much force in the pedals and getting the rear wheel out is a bit more complicated with a hub gear system, if you have a flat. Chain gearing systems are the choice of competitive bikers, generally more efficient at transferring power and offering a broader range of gears.

Hopefully I haven’t offered too much information, or an overwhelming amount. If y’all want clarification on anything, just poke me. :3

Sources:

- I have a 500+ page textbook on all things bicycles. “Fachkunde Fahrradtechnik,” 7th Edition, from the publisher Europa-Lehrmittel if y’all wanna look it up

- Seriously, I’ve been learning this stuff for like 9 months at this point. Theoretically and practically. And I’ll be taking a whole-ass apprenticeship midterm next month. At some point your own education should count for something.

- Also, simple physics.

- A few Wikipedia pages for random references, in particular pertaining to the history of hub gears (and “oh shit what is the thing called in English” moments).

- https://evelo.com/pages/history-of-the-bicycle for a few historical tidbits

- https://bikeradar.com/features/when-were-bicycle-gears-invented/ for more histoical tidbits

- Pictures and icons from Wikimedia, specifically (x) (x) (x) (x), commentary and colorful drawings by me

[raleighcarrera]

catch up

platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)

it’s been eight months since the breakup. they have a lot to catch up on.

~6k words, M (18+ only)

songs mentioned are gorgeous | no more sad songs | touch (acoustic)

he’d been wondering who would get around to dropping their album first. from the looks of the current trending topics on twitter, cadence had won. it looked like she’d even chosen to jack his style -- dropping her album in full with no announcement, no promotion, no warning... nothing.

color him impressed.

no more sad songs was number one on trending. just below it was the word touch. related topics: cadence dorian, raleigh carrera. 

he told himself it was just his own narcissism that made him click. that, and morbid curiosity. it’d been so long since he’d last tortured himself, after all. 

a long list of tweets stared innocently back at him. GOD touch is the sexiest song anyone has EVER WRITTEN I’M SCREAMING, said the first one. make it a single queen!!!! you deserve the hottie they will cast for that music video and more!!!!!

he scrolled down. sooooooooo are we going to talk about how touch is obviously about raleigh carrera giving that good dick or nah

his eyebrows shot up. well, now he had to listen to it. 

he pulled up spotify; of course she was on the home page. with just a few taps, the song started to play. an impressive piano melody filled the room. she must have beep practicing. as her voice filtered in, he turned up the volume.

cadence sounded... soft and sad, and, the masses on twitter were right: sexy. god did her breathless, yearning voice sound sexy. despite himself, he could actually feel his face flush as he listened to the words. so won't you take it, i feel like for the first time i am not faking... fingers on my buttons and now you're playing. master of anticipation, don't you keep it all to yourself.

it took everything in him not to be consumed by the memories that were threatening, but the last thing he needed was to fall down that rabbit hole. he’d gone so long without thinking about her, after all. it was almost up to a full two days at this point, before something would inevitably remind him of her and he would spiral again.

the rest of her album stared back at him from his laptop screen. he studied the cover art as her voice filled the empty room. it was a photo of cadence, of course, a wide full-body shot against a brick wall. she looked powerful, in the sharp black outfit she was wearing, her skirt just short enough to make her legs look a few hundred miles long. 

inhaling sharply, raleigh forcibly redirected his gaze to the track list, scanning the rest of the titles. his lips curved up into a smirk as he read them off, one by one. motorcycle boy. hollywood. tattoos and bad news. subtlety was never her strong point.

then again, he mused, as he considered his own journal and the songs inside it -- kaleidoscope dress. ferris wheel. lady liberty. sex at the moda. -- he really wasn’t one to talk. not that his label would ever let him get away with that last one. it was just a working title, anyway. 

he navigated back to twitter and tapped the moment about her album, no more sad songs. the first tweet he saw said omgggg i love the energy of cadence building raleigh up in ‘gorgeous’ and then tearing him down in ‘shout out to my ex’ so much kdhfgksjfhdg HER MIND this album is everything

it looked like he had some listening to do. but first... 

he strolled over to the far wall of his bedroom and pulled off his shirt, sidling up to the floor length mirror by the window to take a selfie. his free hand pushed his hair back from his face, and he stuck his tongue out at his reflection as he snapped the picture. 

it was just trolling, he told himself as he uploaded the photo to his pictagram, already laughing at his own joke while he typed out the caption. it wasn’t like he was trying to get anyone’s attention -- he just couldn’t resist giving the fans and the internet something to talk about.

raleigh smirked at his phone as the photo finished uploading and stared back at him from his feed. photograph with no t-shirt on. well, there was no taking it back now. if cadence was allowed to write about him, he was allowed to enjoy it, right?

five minutes later, his phone rang. it was avery. he took care to pause cadence’s album before he picked up the phone. “helloooooooo?”

“you know you broke the internet, right?” she asked, aprops of a greeting. 

a shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“you’re such a dick,” she laughed, “you just couldn’t let her have one day, could you? you could congratulate her, you know. she worked really hard on that thing.”

“um, i basically gave her a number one album,” he remarked, his bravado a mask as always. “without me she would’ve had, like, one track on that thing. or she wouldda had to write about you. so you’re welcome, too.”

raleigh pulled his phone away from his face to squint down at his pictagram notifications. stream no more sad songs!! said the last ten comments. omg shout out to my ex is right

“besides, i’m getting trolled. like, a lot. i doubt she cares what i post.”

“i wouldn’t be so sure about that,” avery remarked cryptically. before he had a chance to wonder what that meant, she said, “hey, she’s playing a surprise show tonight at webster hall before the album release party. you should stop by.”

“i think if she wanted me to come to her party she would’ve invited me.” it might’ve been nice to hear from her -- especially given the intimate details about their relationship he was now being forced to listen to, along with millions of other people. 

you’re not being fair, he reminded himself, thinking again of sex at the moda. he hardly intended to give her a heads-up about that one. though he doubted she would care.

not that he cared. she could write about whatever she wanted. she could turn her life into art -- if that was what she wanted. she could tell... whoever, about what had happened between them. about what he’d made her feel.

she never told him, but, whatever. that was fine. that was her prerogative.

“earth to raleigh,” avery said on the line, snapping him out of his thoughts. “i said, she didn’t tell anyone about the party. the album was a secret, yeah? you should at least come to the show. i think your support would mean a lot to her.”

“well, i guess you’ll just have to support her enough for the both of us,” he said, meaner than he felt. raleigh shut his eyes, sighing as he rubbed at his forehead. “sorry. i’m not trying to be an asshole.”

“don’t sweat it.” avery always let him off the hook so easily, “i know it just comes naturally to you. seriously, the show starts at 7. think about it, okay? if you do decide to come, text me when you get there and i’ll let you in the back.”

he put the album back on as soon as they hung up. without a distraction, there was nothing to stop him from looking at cadence’s twitter account. she’d last posted just a few minutes ago:

surprise! i’ll be playing no more sad songs in its entirety tonight at webster hall’s marlin room. doors open at 6 for the first 600 in line. see you there? you never know who might drop by...

fuck it. he turned the volume up on her album and headed towards the shower. he’d avoided her for long enough, and tonight was as good a night for him to get over himself as any. maybe after this he could stop looking over his shoulder at every party he went to, terrified he’d have to see her. 

that didn’t mean that it didn’t feel like a mistake, to get dressed and make his way to the village. it felt like a bad decision every step of the way, even as he ducked around the back of the venue at 7:05 to see avery’s smiling face, holding the backstage door wide open. it was too late to go home, now. 

“took you long enough,” she grinned, squealing as she jumped into his arms. “i almost thought you weren’t going to show.”

“yeah, yeah. did she go on yet?”

avery led him inside, closing the door firmly behind them both. she nodded as they stepped up to the side of the stage. the screams from the crowd were deafening. “she just went out there. i think she’s about to start --”

raleigh heard the strum of a guitar and peeked around to see cadence standing center stage. “this is a really good looking crowd,” she said, grinning when the sound of the cheers rose exponentially. “thanks so much for coming out. are you guys cool if i play some tunes? yeah? okay, then. this first one is about a guy i used to date, it’s called ‘gorgeous.’”

he folded his arms over his chest, leaning back against the wall behind them. he was shameless in the way he looked her up and down, staring as she strutted across the stage. he was proud of her -- she’d come a long way since the first time he saw her perform, so long ago. cadence had real stage presence, now -- she’d come into her own. she acted like a woman, sang like a woman, dressed like a woman. she was confident. 

“whiskey on ice, sunset and vine. you’ve ruined my life by not being mine.” an elbow in his side made raleigh tear his eyes from her. he looked over at avery, rubbing at his ribs. “ow. what was that for?”

“you know everyone thinks this one is about you, right?” she asked, smirking. 

“you make me so happy it turns back to sad, there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have.” 

“aren’t they all about me?” raleigh asked, still hiding behind his attitude. avery only rolled her eyes, and eventually the crowd’s screams drowned out anything else they might’ve wanted to say. 

she played a few more songs before finally sitting down at the piano off to the side of the stage. now that she was closer, raleigh could see her better, and he stared as she brushed her hand across her forehead, pushing her hair off her face. she drank deeply from a water bottle and then set it on the piano’s ledge. raleigh was close enough to watch her swallow, but she still didn’t see him. it was probably the stage lights -- a single spotlight illuminated her at the piano as she adjusted the mic to pull it closer to her lips.

“we’re gonna slow it down for just one song,” cadence said, “i hope you don’t mind.” the cheers from the crowd proved that they didn’t. “i saw ya’ll talking about this one on twitter earlier.” he could see her grin perfectly from where he was standing; it was blinding. “i’m glad you like it. even if you don’t post thirst traps to it.”

the crowd went wild. even raleigh barked out a laugh; he hardly thought she had it in her. okay. point one, cadence.

“put your flashlights in the air for this one, okay? you and i and nobody else... feeling feelings i never felt...”

she was beautiful, of course -- always, every day, but never more than in this moment, with her eyes closed and her expression haunted, her hands moving along the piano keys. it probably said something dangerous about his ego that he found her the most stunning when she was singing about him. 

as the last few notes died, he sighed, digging his fingernails into the fabric of his jacket over his arms where they were folded on his chest. suddenly, it felt like he shouldn’t be there. or maybe he was the only one who should be there. either way, he hardly wanted to think about it. 

her moment of silent reflection as the song ended was gone in a flash. he watched her take a breath to steady herself, and then cadence was back in her stage persona, hopping off the piano bench to grab her guitar again. “thank you so much, new york city. you’ve been amazing. i’m so glad i could share this album with you -- it’s one of the most personal things i’ve ever written, and it means so much to me to play it for you all like this.” 

“this is the last song i have for you tonight -- it’s the title track, no more sad songs. it’s the last song i wrote for the album. this song is about trying to get over someone you can’t help but think about by any means necessary. it’s about the point in a breakup where you’re tired of wallowing and you’ll do anything you can to make yourself feel better -- i like to think it’s about the acceptance stage of grief. anyway, it felt right to keep it last... to name the album after it. i’m finally at a place in my life where i can put this chapter behind me. and it took a lot to get there, and i’m so proud of that. so, with that being said...” 

the crowd cheered as she strummed the first few notes. “thank you guys again so fucking much. sing along if you know the words already, okay?”

it was the second time that day he’d heard the song. it still made him feel the same way he’d felt when he first heard it -- angry and surprised and unsettled... and guilty. why hadn’t she ever told him she felt that way? why hadn’t she called him, and more importantly, why had he never called her, again?

his gaze hardened as she stopped at the front of the stage for the bridge. the same single spotlight illuminated her again. 

“uh, why do you have that murdery look?” avery asked from beside him. he said nothing, watching the melody build around cadence as she approached the crowd.

“still got you on my mind, starting to realize... no matter what i do, i will only harm myself tryn’a hurt you, and if i turn the music loud just to drown you out --”

her head tipped back with the powerful crescendo. she looked like an angel under the spotlight, more beautiful than he even knew how to explain. his chest seized painfully. 

abruptly, he turned around and headed back towards the backstage door. he knew he only had moments until the last song ended and cadence rushed backstage, and he needed to get out of there before that happened.

“raleigh!” avery called after him, but he didn’t stop, throwing open the back door and stepping out onto the sidewalk... immediately into a crowd of waiting fans and paparazzi.

a cacophony of screams started from the street. “ohmygod, it’s raleigh carrera!”

fuck. venue security glared at him as he shoved sunglasses on -- fuck the fact that it was nine o’clock at night -- and rushed off down the sidewalk. so much for getting in and out before cadence saw him. there’d be pictures of his exit all over social media in moments. paparazzi called after him as he rushed to the intersection, eyes scanning the street desperately for a working cab.

he stuck his hand out just as one with its lights on slid to a stop at the corner, jumping inside and slamming the door closed. camera flashes still shone behind his eyes even as he shoved the palms of his hands into them, drawing in a deep breath. sighing shakily, he met the driver’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “88th and park. please.”

once he was alone in his apartment he felt like he wanted to put his fist through a wall. the urge to destroy something, anything was too strong -- because that was what he was supposed to do, wasn’t it? that’s what raleigh carrera would do.

she deserved so much better than him. the last thing she needed was to see him at her show and get sucked back into his bullshit. he paced around his living room, convincing himself he’d done the right thing. she’d moved on, after all -- she was happy, thriving. she didn’t need him around messing up her life. she’d practically said so herself. 

his phone vibrated where he’d dumped it on the coffee table, sliding onto the carpeted floor. raleigh couldn’t think of anyone he wanted to talk to, but he bent down and picked it up anyway.

he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw the caller id. cadence dorian. tongue out emoji. winking emoji. music note. 

“hello?”

“oh, so your phone isn’t down a well somewhere. okay, just checking. good to know.”

she hung up. 

he glared down at the phone in his hand. what the fuck? raleigh called her back before he even knew what he was doing.

“what?” she answered, though she sounded annoyed. like... really annoyed. 

“what is your problem?” he demanded.

“my problem?” she laughed. he could barely hear her over the commotion on the other end of the line -- someone was calling her name repeatedly in a way that sounded urgent -- and then a door slammed, and there was quiet. “my problem, okay. i don’t have a problem. i’m not the one out here subtweeting and sneaking in and out of your show without calling, am i?”

“no, you’re just writing and releasing an entire sixteen-song album about me and all the ways i ruined your life without calling,” he snapped, his patience finally wearing thin enough to crumble. “don’t you think it might’ve been nice for you to give me a heads-up?”

“oh, please,” cadence scoffed, and he could feel that she was getting angry now, too. it felt good, in an awful sort of way. at least it was something. “i should have to clear it with you every time i write a song?”

“not a heads-up about the album,” he grit out, the fingers of his free hand flexing with the urge to throw something, “a heads-up about the way you fucking felt. you never say a goddamn word about any of that to me and i have to find out about it for the first time with -- everyone else? that’s really fucking special, cadence. that means a lot to me.”

there was silence on the other end of the line, giving him a moment to try to calm himself down. cadence was only ever quiet when she’d been surprised, meaning she wasn’t expecting him to say that. but she was certainly silent, then; if he couldn’t still hear her breathing raggedly, he might’ve assumed that she hung up on him again.

finally, she spoke, her voice small and unsure. “raleigh...”

but he wasn’t done fighting with her yet. “what’s the matter? you never thought that it might actually hurt my feelings? i guess that’s on me for giving a shit.”

“raleigh,” cadence said again, more insistently this time, “i didn’t know how to --”

“how to what, cadence? not break up with me? not ignore me for eight months afterwards? not pretend like it didn’t mean anything to you? it’s not that difficult.”

“well, obviously it was too difficult for you to do, too. you didn’t call me, either. so i’m supposed to believe -- what, exactly? that you missed me? that’s convincing, when you’re never out without a model on your arm.” 

she sounded hurt. why did she sound hurt? she was the one who’d stomped on his heart, she was the one who’d wanted this. 

“get over yourself,” he bit out, his hand curling into a fist at his side. he was never going to get his security deposit back after what he was about to do to his penthouse. “you knew i was in love with you and you didn’t care. which is fine. you don’t have to... just own it. stop acting like i did something to you.”

suddenly, the commotion on the other end of the line was back. “i have to go,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper. 

he hung up without saying goodbye, throwing his phone onto the couch. okay. that was fine. everything was fine.

except that he couldn’t possibly stand to be in his apartment for another moment -- not without doing something stupid. 

he grabbed his keys and his phone and left, slamming the door behind him. his fingers drummed restlessly on his thighs as he rode the elevator down to the lobby. there were paparazzi waiting outside the front door of his building -- raleigh could see them through the glass as soon as he stepped out of the elevator. with a grimace, he headed for the back door.

there was already a car waiting for him. “let’s go to kismet,” he directed, rapidly firing off text messages to anyone he knew who might be available to distract him. 

within minutes, he was inside the club at a vip table. there was a bottle of vodka sitting in a bucket of ice at the center of the booth, calling out to him. he lifted it straight to his lips, drinking as much as he could in one go without coughing. she’d always used to joke about his self-destructive tendencies. if only she could see him now.

“hey, raleigh.” belle tamblyn stood before him, smiling in the low light of the club. she must’ve just gotten back from paris fashion week. two of her friends had already sat down at the booth, talking among themselves. 

he leaned back into the booth with a charming smile. “hey, belle. i knew you missed me.”

she laughed, taking his words as an invitation to sit down in his lap. he didn’t push her off, wrapping an arm around her narrow shoulders. she was taller and thinner than cadence in a way that wasn’t unfamiliar to him, but wasn’t exactly welcome, either. you’re never out without a model on your arm.

“so,” she started, looking down at him from up close, “what’ve you --”

he leaned up and kissed her, sliding a hand into her hair. her lips parted in surprise, sticky with lip gloss. raleigh bit her bottom lip and she sighed breathlessly, and that was -- good. that was almost... close enough.

his free hand slid over her backside, pulling her in closer. she was breathing hard when she pulled away, her face flushed.

raleigh laughed, pushing his fingertips under the hem of her dress. she reached down and swatted playfully at his chest.

“you’re an asshole,” she said primly, but she was rubbing her hand over the muscles in his chest. “do you want to get out of here?”

the last thing he wanted was to bring her back to his apartment, or to be there at all. “i don’t think i can wait that long,” he said charmingly, “bathroom?”

her nose scrunched up as she considered it, staring down at him. then, she said, “fine,” and slid up off his lap. he grinned, grabbing her hand and tugging her off toward the back of the club. 

it was a single person bathroom, and blessedly empty when they arrived. no one paid them any attention as he pulled her inside and flipped the lock. 

raleigh lifted her onto the sink and leaned in to kiss her again. she moaned as he pushed her legs apart and stepped between them, sliding his hands up her thighs.

this was fine. this was what he wanted.

so why couldn’t he force himself to do what he knew he was supposed to? his hands didn’t seem to want to move from where he’d anchored them on her legs, his lips kissing her methodically but not doing much else.

she wants to have sex with you! his brain screamed at him, she is a supermodel. a supermodel who wants to have sex with you. 

impatiently, her hands slid to the waistband of his jeans. he didn’t stop her as she pulled the zipper down and slipped her hand under the waistband of his briefs. 

it’s not a big deal. you’ve done this a million times. never after an argument like that with cadence, though... only when she was busy pretending he didn’t exist... 

the bass of the music playing in the club vibrated through the closed door. the song sounded painfully familiar -- he strained to make out what it was...

of course it was a dance remix of ‘gorgeous.’ why wouldn’t it be?

panting, he pulled his mouth off of belle’s, tipping their foreheads together. “hey,” he started hoarsely, licking his lips as he glanced down towards where her hand was wrapped around him, “i’m sorry, but i don’t... have anything. i don’t think we should...”

have unprotected sex in a nightclub bathroom. her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she weighed her options. on any other night, that might have actually been flattering, but tonight...

pounding on the bathroom door made their minds up for them. he stepped back, adjusting himself in his jeans. “come on.”

he helped her down off the sink and opened the door, ready to lead her back out into the club. the line of people waiting to use the bathroom stared open-mouthed at them both as they walked off toward the booth. raleigh grinned at them as he walked past -- that was what he was supposed to do, right?

belle’s friends barely arched an eyebrow at her as they sat down again. immediately, he started pouring drinks and passing them out -- anything to be as drunk as possible before the song ended.

by the time he stumbled home, alone, it was late -- later than he’d wanted to be out. he used the front door -- not because he wanted any paparazzi to get photos of him going home alone or anything, but because he felt like it -- and waited until he was in the elevator to sigh frustratedly, decidedly not checking his phone. he knew there was no way she’d texted him.

cadence was sitting on the floor outside of his apartment door when he stepped out into the hallway.

he stared at her like she was a hallucination, lifting one hand to his eyes to rub at them. maybe he had more to drink than he’d thought. she looked up at him, still dressed in what she must’ve worn to her album release party.

he felt like he was going to throw up. god, that would be uncool.

“hi,” she said quietly, from the floor. wordlessly, he stepped closer to her and held out his hand. she took it, letting him pull her up. “can i talk to you?”

that wasn’t going to be easy, considering he had absolutely no idea what to say, but raleigh nodded, unlocking his front door and motioning for her to step inside.

he didn’t turn the lights on, letting the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminate the space. the lights from the city and the glow of the moon made cadence look almost ethereal as she slowly wandered over towards the far wall, hesitating for a moment before kicking her high-heeled shoes off. despite himself, his lips twitched up into a smile as he watched her.

“want a drink?” he asked, because he certainly did.

she nodded, and he moved to the bar cart to pour them both a half-full glass of vodka. he dropped an ice cube into his and poured orange juice over hers. 

raleigh forced his feet to join her at the windows, silently holding her glass out to her. she took it with a mumble of thanks, lifting it to her lips. her eyes were trained on the view. what the fuck was she doing here?

the silence stretched between them. finally, he said, “congratulations on the album. it’s really good.”

that seemed to snap her out of it. she snuck a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. “you listened to it?”

he nodded. no point in lying about it, now. “i’m a narcissist,” he joked, “it’s what i do.”

she laughed. raleigh stuffed his free hand into his pocket so that he wouldn’t reach out for her. god, he’d missed her laugh. 

he drained what was left in his glass in one go. “what’re you doing here?”

cadence was still staring out at the city. “i wanted to talk to you.”

“and yet, here you are. not talking.”

“i didn’t get that far when i planned this in my head,” she admitted, in an annoyingly endearing way. god damnit.

“how far did you get?”

she turned to look at him, then, leaning her shoulder against the window. “i thought maybe i would just kiss you when you got here and that would say everything i wanted to say. but then i chickened out.”

it felt like she’d just elbowed him in the stomach. “that doesn’t sound like you.”

“the kissing? i don’t know, i thought about it kind of a lot...”

he swallowed hard. “the chickening out.”

“oh.” she nodded, looking away. raleigh watched her stare down at the glass in her hands. “i guess i just felt like i already messed up so much. i didn’t want to... do the wrong thing again.”

raleigh couldn’t quite decide if he was too drunk for this conversation or not drunk enough. “how was your party?”

“it was fine. i think the last one i had -- for the odyssey -- was better.”

there was a night he didn’t want to relive. “look,” he sighed finally, turning back towards the windows and the city skyline, “i didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position. if you’re only here because you think i’m upset... you don’t have to be. i’ll be fine.”

he could see her shifting out of his peripheral vision. she seemed to be considering what she wanted to say. finally, she spoke up. “that’s not why i’m here.” he turned towards her and watched as her shoulders squared. “i’m here because i missed you. a lot. and i wanted to apologize, for what happened between us... for shutting you out. for not telling you how i felt -- that i was in love with you, too. for letting you go.”

raleigh’s grip tightened on his glass so that he wouldn’t drop it on the floor. he stared at her like he was seeing her for the first time. 

cadence drew in a deep breath and continued, “getting over you was the hardest thing i ever had to do. and when i saw the pictures of you leaving the show tonight i realized... i failed miserably at it. i can’t get over you. i couldn’t. i won’t.”

he had to be imagining this, right? he was drunk and asleep in his limo, he had to be. he was dreaming.

but she felt very, very real when she reached out and twined her fingers in the fabric of his shirt.

“please say something,” she begged. she was undeniable.

“cadence...” he sighed, “you know how i feel.”

she nodded, once. “i do, but i want to hear you say it.”

“i want you to be my fucking girlfriend,” he admitted immediately, his voice hoarse. now that he’d given in, his free hand reached out and cupped her cheek. “for real. all the time. in front of everyone. i want you to move in, i never want us to go another day without talking. i don’t want anyone else to touch you. ever again.”

her lips parted. he couldn’t stop his thumb from pressing into her invitingly full bottom lip, watching in fascination as her eyelids fluttered. “raleigh,” she breathed, beautifully enough to do his head in. 

he stepped forward swiftly, pressing her back against the windows, and kissed her. she moaned, scrambling to set her glass on the side table next to her. he knew her hands were free when they shoved into his hair. 

fuck, if he hadn’t been wanting this for so long. his lips broke off of her to trail kisses across her jaw, down towards her neck. he couldn’t stop his fingers from tugging at her dress insistently. “do you want that?” he demanded. raleigh felt her nod against him. his teeth scraped across her pulse point. “say it.”

“raleigh!” she exclaimed. it was the most amazing sound in the world. his hips pushed forward insistently, grinding between her thighs. the force of it pushed her back into the windows. “i want it, i want you. i want all of it -- everything.”

the urgency to fuck her through the window was balancing precariously against his desire to do things right -- to give her what she deserved. with a huff, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, walking them both off towards his bedroom.

she laughed again as he dumped her on the mattress, hard enough to make her bounce. raleigh grinned back at her as he whipped his shirt off of his head, tossing it to the floor. she was scrambling up the mattress, and he chased her towards the headboard, kneeling on top of her when she finally laid back.

he crowded her in close for another kiss, his hands everywhere at once. she whined into his lips, kissing him so urgently, like they didn’t have all the time in the world, now. “i missed you,” she breathed, her hands clutching at his shoulders desperately.

“i missed you too, beautiful,” he returned, pushing her dress up her thighs, “now lie back and let me make you feel good.”

his head was spinning by the time they’d finished, and not because of the drinks he’d had. cadence was tucked up under his arm, her head pillowed on his chest. she was still catching her breath as she dragged her fingertips along the tattoo spanning the expanse of his ribs.

the sun was starting to come up outside, filtering light into his bedroom. he stared at her face, illuminated by the dawning daylight. “you know, if anyone here is gorgeous, it’s you.”

“oh my god,” she mumbled, pressing her face into his skin, “you’re never going to let this go, are you?”

he smirked up at the ceiling as he pulled her in closer. “would you say it makes you so mad?”

“i’m going home,” she threatened, pinching his side. he laughed, squirming away from her hand. “this is over. you ruined it.”

“well, what if i want to come along?”

“raleigh,” she groaned finally, kicking him under the covers, “stop it.”

he snickered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “what, you’re allowed to write about me, but i’m not allowed to enjoy it?”

“please,” she sighed, settling in against his chest again, “like you don’t write about me.”

“i never said that,” he hummed, already imagining the things her face would do when she finally got to listen to his album, if he ever finished it. “i’m really hoping the label doesn’t make me change the name of sex at the moda.”

“okay, you did not write a song called ‘sex at the moda.’ tell me you didn’t.”

“i’d hate to lie.”

she lifted her head to look at him, her face flushing. “will you play it for me?”

he eyed the guitar in the corner of his bedroom. like he could ever say no to her. still...

“maybe later,” he grinned, rolling over to pin her beneath him, the sheets tangling around their legs. “i can think of a better use of our time. we have a lot to catch up on.”

her arms wound around his neck. “tell me about it.”

[alannah-digitalcommunities]

Week 6: Digital Citizenship and Health Education - Body modification on Visual Social Media

This week we reviewed the topic of ‘Digital Citizenship and Health Education, specifically body modification and Aesthetic Templates on Social Media. Body modification is a form of 'Aesthetic Templates' on Instagram and was a term I discovered in one of the readings. This particular reading exemplifies the idea that people interested in body modification are "shopping" for aesthetic templates. Aesthetic templates were essentially created by microcelebrities and are universally popular throughout social media, especially Instagram. You may know microcelebrities as social media influencers and/or models who promote products to their followers and fans for commercial gain. 

What is visual social media?

Visual social media is a form of marketing and is the practice of using video, images and other visual content (like infographics) to help your messages stand out from the noise and clutter to more effectively reach your audience. It's a system that's worth adopting. ("What Is Visual Social Media Marketing (And How Does It Raise Engagement)? [INFOGRAPHIC]", 2021)

What is public health? 

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines public health as “the art and science of preventing disease, prolonging life and promoting health through the organized efforts of society.” ("Public health services", n.d.)

How social media affects public health: 

Social media has become a cost-effective way for the public health practice to inform audiences of health issues, enhance communication during public health emergencies or outbreaks, and respond to public reporting of a particular public health issue. ("Social Media in Public Health: Strategies to Distill, Package, and Disseminate Public Health Research", 2020). 

Public Health’s role in the pandemic:

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, public health organisations have made good use of social media to inform the public about the disease and help individuals globally control the spread of the virus. With technology always evolving, digital technologies such as IOS apps have become more advanced and influential in the past decade, but more so since the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Since week one of this Digital Communities unit, I have concluded that Social Media is influential in many ways; from being a tool for political communication and engagement, to spreading awareness and promoting activism, evolving social movements in our society, and now in week 6, a device to inform the public about health.

I use social media every day, for fun and to socialise but also for educational purposes. Something I appreciate a lot about engaging with social media is interacting with news and information concerning public health and health in general. There are a few apps I use but the one that comes to mind that has been especially useful is the COVIDSafe app. This app was mainly helpful last year during the pandemic's peak and I don't use it anymore as there hasn't been any active covid cases where I live. "The COVIDSafe app is a tool that helps identify people exposed to coronavirus (COVID-19). This helps us support and protect you, your friends and family." Without the help of technology, finding close contacts relies on people: being able to recall everyone they have been in close contact with and knowing their contact details. ("COVIDSafe app", 2020)

https://www.health.gov.au/resources/apps-and-tools/covidsafe-app#

Effective Public Health Social Media Campaigns

According to current statistics, there are 2271 million people use Facebook, 326 million Twitter, 1000 million Instagram and 287 million use Snapchat. ("The World's Best Public Health Social Media Campaigns - Bang The Table", n.d.). As a result, public health campaigns increasingly compete for people’s attention and seek to influence their behaviour through these social media channels. But this requires continually adapting to trends.

#Loveyourcervix Campaign 

The objective for the #loveyourcervix campaign is to make young women who may feel embarrassed about the appearance of their vulva not embarrassed as a lot of young women avoid having a cervical screening for that reason. The campaign is intended to promote body positivity and remind women “that smear takers have seen hundreds of vulvas!” Women that attend for cervical screening when they are first invited aged 25 are more likely to attend in the future, significantly reducing their risk of developing cervical cancer." (Public Health Wales).

Mental health related campaigns

Mental health has become a popular subject for social media campaigns. More and more people are willing and wanting to be open and share their personal experiences with the world on their social media pages. Individuals also want to get involved in tackling the stigma associated with talking about mental health.

#HereForYou Campaign (Instagram) 

A one-minute campaign video featured three Instagram users talking about their past struggles with eating disorders, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Man Therapy Campaign 

Another campaign that promotes mental health is the Man Therapy campaign. It is based in Colorado, USA and is aimed at working-aged men (24-54 years old) who account for the largest number of suicide deaths in the U.S. These men are also the least likely to receive any kind of support. They don't talk about it with their friends. They don't share with their family. And they sure as heck don't seek professional treatment. They are the victims of problematic thinking that says mental health disorders are unmanly signs of weakness. ("Man Therapy | Men's Mental Health Resources", n.d.). 

The campaign features a fictional character named Rich Mahogany, who provides “manly mental health tips” in humorous videos. The Men Therapy campaign was also created to counter the myth that strong men don’t need to reach out for help.

Body modification on Visual Social Media

Aesthetic templates and Aesthetic Labour 

‘Aesthetic templates’ refer to: poses, accessories, props or body work. 

Aesthetic templates are linked to digital influencer brands that often promote unhealthy body image ideals. 

Aesthetic Labour:

In workplace settings, workers enact aesthetic labour by embodying attributes that will resonate with customers for commercial benefit (Dean, 2005; Witz, Warhurst & Nickson, 2003)

Examples of Aesthetic Labour include: 

- Smiling with sincerity 

- Dressing in a suit and tie 

- Using particular body language and hand gestures 

As you can see in the image below of this model, she is not only using body language and hand gestures to demonstrate bodywork and aesthetic labour, but she’s also smiling with sincerity as she promotes a Bondi Boost product. 

These images of these Instagram influencers/models also depict bodywork through a range of behaviours that alter their physical appearance; either online, through editing or physically in the offline world. Bodywork is evident in these influencer's photos as these women have all used body language and angles to make their bodies appear a certain way in which helps them gain attention from their viewers.

Pornification 

Pornification emphasises heteronormative standards of beauty and sexuality.

It has become normalised within western societies to display sexuality that reflects the aesthetics of commercial pornography (Tyler & Quek, 2016; Lynch, 2012; Drenten & Gurrieri, 2019)

Pornification is about portraying a heteronormative display of sexuality or 'porn chic' aesthetic oriented towards a male audience (Drenten & Gurrieri, 2019)

For social media users, selfies are often the result of work understood as sexualised labour (Drenten & Gurrieri, 2019) 

Imagery like these is only a few examples of what my Instagram feed is flooded with. Highly sexualised images like these are shaping 'influence' on social media platforms, especially on Instagram. The main reason that influencers are posting content like this, posed and with barely any clothes on is because these kinds of images help them gain the most amount of attention and following. The body plays a pivotal role in influencers' posts, and one of the easiest ways for women to gain attention on social media is through a highly sexualised aesthetic, which is increasingly pornified. These women tend to conform to stringent standards of attractiveness and femininity for attention gain.

Here is an example of an influencer, Tammy Hembrow who uses the ‘aesthetic template’ to promote this "aminos & energy" product to her followers for commercial benefit. This pornified image is purely to grab her viewer's attention for a brand deal. 

As you can see in the image above of Tammy Hembrow, she is posing in a way that highlight her lower body through body language, to accentuate her curves. 

Aesthetic Templates - Masculinity: 

Despite all this focus on women being pornified, pornification is also relevant to men but the reasons differ... 

Whilst women tend to focus on accentuating their curves through body language, men are also exposed for provocative poses, but this is mainly enacted by gay men. The underlying difference is that men aren’t nearly as popular as women when it comes to gaining attention on social media for their pornified poses. 

Implications for Public Health: 

Some public health campaigns promote aesthetic templates to promote body image ideals. This advertisement by Protein World presents a female model in her bikini, accompanying writing that states, “Are you beach body ready?” The ad implies that women have to have that body type, a body that society depicts as "perfect", then you're not "beach ready". This ad is not only offensive and promotes body-shaming, but it’s also encouraging poor self-esteem and body image, especially for younger women who are most likely already feeling too insecure to go to the beach.

The original – Protein World’s body-shaming advia aol.com

This ad is another dangerous example that can have serious effects on the self-esteem of women and girls worldwide.  

Victoria’s Secret: ‘Perfect’ via theodysseyonline.com

These advertisements and public ‘health campaigns’ are also linked to Body Dysmorphia (BDD) and Identity Dissonance due to individuals comparing themselves to “the perfect body” online, leading them to feel “distressed about a particular body part to the point where it interferes with daily life (Phillips, 2009). 

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)

Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health disorder in which you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance — a flaw that appears minor or can't be seen by others. ("Body dysmorphic disorder - Symptoms and causes", n.d.)

TW: Suicide 

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Suicidal thoughts and behavior are common with body dysmorphic disorder. If you think you may hurt yourself or attempt suicide, get help right away:

Call 000

Call a suicide hotline number - Lifeline: 13 11 14

Call your mental health professional.

Seek help from your primary care provider.

Reach out to a close friend or loved one.

Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone else in your faith community.

References: 

Public health services. Retrieved 23 May 2021, from https://www.euro.who.int/en/health-topics/Health-systems/public-health-services/public-health-services

COVIDSafe app. (2020). Retrieved 23 May 2021, from https://www.health.gov.au/resources/apps-and-tools/covidsafe-app

The World's Best Public Health Social Media Campaigns - Bang The Table. Retrieved 23 May 2021, from https://www.bangthetable.com/blog/public-health-social-media-campaigns/

Retrieved 23 May 2021, from https://twitter.com/PublicHealthW/status/1105362789067968513

Man Therapy | Men's Mental Health Resources. Retrieved 23 May 2021, from https://mantherapy.org/

#HereForYou. (2021). [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h-s9xUPvGA

Social Media in Public Health: Strategies to Distill, Package, and Disseminate Public Health Research. (2020). Retrieved 23 May 2021, from https://journals.lww.com/jphmp/Fulltext/2020/09000/Social_Media_in_Public_Health__Strategies_to.14.aspx

How highly sexualised imagery is shaping ‘influence’ on Instagram - and harassment is rife. Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://mumbrella.com.au/how-highly-sexualised-imagery-is-shaping-influence-on-instagram-and-harassment-is-rife-578396

Five ads that took body-shaming to a whole new level. (2016). Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/31606/1/the-five-worst-examples-of-body-shaming-ads

Body dysmorphic disorder - Symptoms and causes. Retrieved 24 May 2021, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938#:~:text=Body%20dysmorphic%20disorder%20is%20a,may%20avoid%20many%20social%20situations.

What Is Visual Social Media Marketing (And How Does It Raise Engagement)? [INFOGRAPHIC]. Adweek.com. (2021). Retrieved 27 May 2021, from https://www.adweek.com/performance-marketing/visual-social-marketing/#:~:text=Visual%20social%20media%20marketing%20is,a%20system%20that's%20worth%20adopting.

[back-to-basic-1]

REUSE

REUSE

‘Reuse’ is a solution, as the word says is an act of taking old items that you might consider throwing away and finding a new use for them or an action of practice of using something again, whether for its original purpose or to fulfill different requirements. For an example we can take jars and boxes from grocery store ,it can be used to store leftover food.

BENEFIT OF REUSE

It is very important to recognize that the sustained growth in reuse efforts plus the sustained interest of the reuse industry, derives in large measure from the solid waste reduction hierarchy : Reduce , Reuse and Recycle. It is best to reduce first, reuse as a second option  and then to resort to recycling. Reuse is recognized as being distinct from recycling, both in doctrine, and in the handling of the materials this unique industry diverts from the waste stream.  Recyclers have successfully kept materials out of 

the landfill by collecting, segregating, processing and manufacturing their collected goods into new products.  Reusers, on the other hand, with little or no processing, keep materials out the waste stream by passing the goods they collect on to others.    

WAYS FOR REUSE

1. Old CDs make funky coasters! Just stick two together and paste felt underneath if necessary.

2. Melt the remains of a lipstick together with a small pot of lip balm - makes a great lip gloss!

3. Get yourself a worm farm and feed it all of your food scraps. One kilogram of worms can eat and recycle one kilogram of food every day, giving you nutritious worm castings for your plants and vegies.

4. Put your steel bottle tops and jam jar lids into an old steel can. When the tin is half full, squash the top together so the contents are held in - then put it in your recycling bin.

5.Open up the bottom of a used milk carton and plant a tree seedling inside it. The carton will protect your seedling from weather and pests, and when planted it will degrade as the tree grows.

6. Going on a picnic? Squash your cans and bottles and bring them home to recycle!

7.Make your own gift wrap! Wrap your presents in the comic pages from your local Sunday newspaper, magazines or comics. Kids (and even adults) love it!

8.Keep old jeans to use as patches for other jeans.

REUSE PRODUCT 

For  an  example old saree was torned like wool and knitting technique can be used ,with the help of knitting needle . That can be turned into any possible thing you want , as for beginners the sweater knitting techniques will be easy . 

Next is the trending thing I.e, scrunchies(bow or a hairband), it requires comparatively less fabric and can be made easily at home . Just an additional product which is elastic for scrunchies is used.

REUSE BENEFICIAL TO ENVIRONMENT 

Many reuse programs have evolved from local solid waste reduction goals because reuse requires fewer resources, less energy, and less labor, compared to recycling, disposal, or the manufacture of new products from virgin materials. Reuse provides an excellent, environmentally-preferred alternative to other waste management methods, because it reduces air, water and land pollution, limits the need for new natural resources, such as timber, petroleum, fibers and other materials.  The US Environmental Protection Agency has recently identified waste reduction as an important method of reducing greenhouse gas emissions, a contributing factor to global warming. 

reuse has been used as a critical way of getting needed materials to the many disadvantaged populations that exist.  Reuse continues to provide an excellent way in which to get people the food, clothing, building materials, business equipment, medical supplies and other items that they desperately need.  There are other ways, however, that reuse benefits the community

[undeific]

i promise it’s not that deep, or why you’re wrong about self-inserts: an essay by your friendly neighborhood chaotic neutral

So, self-inserts. A hot topic, apparently. In 2020. Perhaps it’s due to a dashboard full of young, possibly underage writers (which is not a bad thing! embrace your creativity!), but this is a discussion I believed we had matured past. Since it has been floating around, though, here is my take, and the take a great deal of circles have embraced in the past 6-7 years or so. 

There’s always been a self-insert problem in the community — not necessarily self-inserts themselves, but rather the response to them. It’s no secret that these characters are commonly regarded with disdain and always have been: they’re viewed as the most self-indulgent form of character, the least creative, and the worst-written, having been made solely for the purpose of connecting with canons and living out one’s own Mary Sue-adjacent fantasies. To some extent, these generalizations make sense and line up with a reality we are all very familiar with; after all, these assumptions must come from somewhere, and there would be few canon-portraying writers among us who could say they’ve absolutely never been met with an uncomfortable situation brought on by an overeager self-insert. In 2013, the worst crime a roleplayer could possibly commit was create a character like this, and would result in what was considered, and many times was, a well-deserved blacklisting from entire fan spaces and writing circles. A self-insert was, after all, created with no integrity and only had bad intentions. 

We all know the self-insert girl — and yes, she is a girl, of course. Her dialogue is clichéd, her plots are threadbare and consist primarily of smut and romance, her backstory is tragic and attention-seeking. She often has the same name as her creator and her faceclaim is self-flattering. She seeks out canons and attractive original characters of the male persuasion, persistent in her attempts to reach out, hoping to begin shipping with her victim — or victims — of choice. She is a being purely of self-gratification and wish-fulfillment. She is, in a word, embarrassing. We do not like her. She is told on the rule pages she does not read that she will be blocked, banned, and ultimately mocked by those who have seen her floating about. She is “politely” insulted and threatened for crimes she has yet to commit, and chased from the platform as quickly, cruelly, and efficiently as possible. Yet she always comes back in one form or another, like a cockroach.  

These characters still exist, of course. They were never a myth. I am familiar with them, as are you, and everyone else who has dipped their toes into the writing pool. But they are an exaggerated breed these days, and often used to perpetuate elitism in spaces where it is entirely unnecessary. The shadow of the stereotypical self-insert’s reputation has been cast over original characters as a whole, specifically female characters, and has created an unwelcoming environment prone to cliques and harassment. A character outside an established canon is suspect. A woman outside an established canon — and sometimes even within — is eyed suspiciously, hypercritically, before being thrown a generous bone by a “lower-tier” roleplayer who will determine whether or not she’s worthy of attention.

If any desire for wish-fulfillment is detected or perceived, she’s dropped quickly, often with no warning. 

There is a strange idea that permeates throughout roleplaying culture that wish-fulfillment writing is done in bad faith. This is flawed logic in many ways. Roleplaying is not a job. It is not an inaccessible artform. If you engage in this form of entertainment, you are getting something out of it. You are stepping outside of yourself and becoming someone else, and you are enjoying it; you are, in other words, engaging in a form of wish-fulfillment, though perhaps not with the sticky connotations you are familiar with when contemplating the term. This very idea goes against the rhetoric that has been built up by the community, however — self-indulgence is taboo, roleplay is serious business, and only those worthy and “quality” shall partake and be given attention. (It has even been taken to the rather sad extent that if one does not keep up with aesthetic-based trends, they are met with passive disinterest if not outright disdain. But that is another essay entirely.) If you seek wish-fulfillment, you are not welcome. If you are a self-insert, you are not welcome. If your character shares too many traits with yourself, you are obviously seeking wish-fulfillment, and probably a self-insert to boot, so you are not welcome. 

There are layers to this. People do not want to associate with these leper characters, and so they create strict rules to be adhered to — and that makes sense, as everyone is entitled to their own pleasurable experience, and their own guidelines. But these rules become meaningless in the shuffle, placed on carefully-crafted Google Documents to do nothing other than promote elitism and limit creativity, whether that is the intention or not. If you like a character, but find out it shares the same name and birthday with its creator despite little else in common, what do you do? If this character does not seem interested in pushing a ship onto you in your interactions, are they still breaking your rules? If a character was created with its writer as the base, though they do not behave in the stereotypical way that makes self-inserts unbearable, why is it so important? What do the origins of a character have to do with its current iteration? Why, if it does not have a negative impact on interactions, does it matter if a character is a self-insert or not? At the risk of sounding like a dusty academic, the bard once wrote, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” What, aside from preconceived ideas, does a character’s self-insert status have to do with anything? 

“Discomfort” is the word primarily used when discussing these characters negatively, and many hoops are jumped through to justify why this discomfort is felt if there is no concrete reason, no offense committed. If one is willing to dissect another’s character, but not one’s own reasons for their own discomfort when confronted with the simple, low-impact reality that this character exists, some self-reflection is warranted. Even more so if this character is, as far as you have seen, well-written, fleshed out, and interesting, with the only “downside” being that it is, in fact, a self-insert. 

To write well, one must understand the character they are working with. Divorcing oneself entirely from the characters they write will only work to their detriment. All creations, all characters, must contain a piece of the writer within them to some degree; that is the only way a piece of fiction will function — but if that is against the rules, we cannot write. We cannot engage in any sort of believable storytelling. Self-inserts are, at their core, only the most exaggerated form of original character. 

This, of course, is capable of leading to problems; one of the greatest issues here is the possibility of the lines between fantasy and reality getting blurred. This has happened to me when dealing with self-inserts, as well as other original characters and even canons. It is distressingly common, one of the most unpleasant situations to arise in roleplay spaces. However, if it is your assumption that the lines of fantasy and reality will be blurred purely because a character has self-insert origins, that likely says much more about your own grasp on reality rather than the self-insert’s. It is and always has been important that proper distinctions and boundaries are maintained, no matter who the writer or character are. During heavy or dark threads, writers will often be found shooting jokes back and forth in the tags to put each other at ease, and people give out their handles on instant messaging platforms to ensure easier, more efficient communication out of character. If this is done efficiently, any issues that arise are handled in a stable, mature way, and the problems that lend themselves to roleplaying become ever rarer. 

Self-inserts are like any other character, they just have a label with nasty connotations and an unfortunate history and stereotype attached. There should be no thorny questions here, only whether or not the character interests you personally. If the very term is a dealbreaker for you, you are taking yourself, and this, too seriously — and missing out on some fascinating storytelling in the process. 

That being said, the character I portray owns a knife and I own a knife, so I am practically a self-insert myself. I guess I’m gonna be blocked! 

[gamename436]

What is the online gaming website

Career In Gaming

On line Gambling Websites covers the entire industry of gaming more than the Online. Our initial company program was to commence in the UK industry and then move on to Europe in 18 months and to the rest of the world in 36 months. Having said that factors didn't go fairly to plan because inside the initial 6 hours of going reside we sold 400 games in Japan. This meant that from the begin we were always going to be a worldwide corporation. Green Man Gaming has been listed as the 53rd biggest exporter in the UK out of 354,000 SMEs in the Sunday Times SME Export Track one hundred list.

The multitude of gaming news sites continues to develop as gaming emerges as a thing bigger and more worthwhile than merely a hobby. It would be an understatement to confine the role and purpose of these web-sites to news and testimonials broadcasting for each and every day, the legion of geeks and gamers is strengthened by these very gaming news web-sites. In midst of this competitors, there are numerous sites like Virteract which are emerging to the scene and putting in some really fantastic efforts to deliver you with quality content.

The X Rocker Pro H3 Audio Gaming Chair can be rightfully regarded as a really serious gamer's one particular and only gaming lounger. It comes completely integrated with 4 highly effective speakers to give you a sensational game play. And if that is not enough of the best gift for a gamer, its equally remarkable subwoofer can turn even the slightest hint of bass into a thunderous boom, additional enhancing your overall gaming practical experience. Enhancing your immersive game play are vibration motors that can be completely synchronized with the unique bass tones in your game, delivering you with shocks, jolts, and minute vibrations fairly significantly like the tactile feedback of vibration-enabled game controllers.

If you do not have a large gaming group, you have probably noticed that two-player games are really hard to find, and definitely great ones that are just as terrific for two players are even more rare. I've wracked my memory (and pestered my friends) to come up with a bunch of tabletop games that are a blast for two— not just technically playable with no extra.

You Will Thank Us - 10 Tips About GAMING You should Know

The future of India's game improvement community looks bright and there is no cause why it can not turn into the chosen destination for international gaming market. The customer base for games is increasingly expanding, particularly on mobile, and the correct e-commerce options are currently in spot to facilitate micro-transactions and ad revenue. The Indian game app developers will as a result have ample opportunity to innovate, design and style, and develop compelling game content for both the Indian and global audience.

Game makers can assistance basic leaderboards easily by working with DynamoDB. One such use case is the ability to show top rated scores for a game. If a gaming company currently retailers players' game state in DynamoDB, like players' major scores, the capacity to get prime scores can be implemented by utilizing a worldwide secondary index.

Bit points continue to develop up and platform was changed differently. Google and Apple changed their algorithms handful of time and this shake entire App search benefits. Platforms fixes their early troubles and if you recall Balmer's joke "Who's gonna purchase $500 phone? persons start off to purchased $500 phones. Also stable platform bring "BigGuys" there like EA, GameLoft in gaming market or Adobe, Autocad in graphic apps. This happens about 2011-2012.

The benefits of this cloud model for gaming? The newest gaming hardware doesn't come low-cost: hundreds of pounds for a console or thousands for a tricked-out Computer, plus the games themselves - and with gaming technologies regularly evolving, upgrading hardware just about every handful of years is mandatory to appreciate the most current titles at their most effective. By connecting to devices in the cloud, fees are lowered to a subscription fee, and the provider requires on all the responsibilities of keeping higher-end gaming systems. With no need for on-web site hardware, cloud gaming also saves space in the home and eliminates the noise and heat generated by gaming machines.

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In order to make all the content material of your gaming web-site appear great on smaller sized screen sizes, you want to make positive that your online project is mobile-friendly. One particular of the very best methods to develop a responsive web page is picking a Bootstrap-based internet theme as its foundation. Operating with a Click here mobile-friendly internet site template, you may possibly neglect about the want to adjust your content material to all devices manually.

The ASTRO Gaming Headset is not your common headset that comes with a range of capabilities especially designed for enhancing your music listening experience. Alternatively, the ASTRO A50 is especially created and built for the really serious gamer especially those who play on the Personal Personal computer or even the PlayStation four game console. The ASTRO A50 comes with 7.1 Dolby surround sound technologies, providing you exceptionally loud bass and chest-thumping trebles, elegantly amplified to bring you to an out-of-this-globe adventure. The ASTRO A50 is embedded with professional excellent audio drivers in an elegant and stylish finish. It comes with its own docking station, as well.

This (Blog) is exactly where you can read every thing I know. Find out about the most effective board games for game nights in original critiques, get suggestions on every little thing from organizing to snack and drinks, and study up on inclusivity and diversity in gaming communities. There's stuff here for person players attempting to chip in on game evening, to hosts who want to (ahem) up their game, to companies interested in hosting normal board game nights.

Some like it wireless. Some choose to go old-college with wires. If you come about to belong to the latter group, you may possibly want to give the Havit HV -MS672 Wired Mouse It may well not have a really outstanding optical sensor that can run in the 16,000s, but its maximum of 3,200 DPI really should be adequate to present you with an exceptional gaming knowledge. Its DPI settings can also be adjusted to three other levels with the lowest at 800 DPI. The Havit Mouse also comes with breathing LED light effects including 7 circular LED light effects to set the mood in your game.

On the internet multiplayer shooters, like CS:GO, Fortnite, and PUBG, are at the moment dominating the gaming planet, thanks to professional gamers, eSports tournaments, Twitch streamers , and YouTube gaming channels Some games that have been released years ago are nonetheless well known currently, like League of Legends, Minecraft, World of Warcraft, Dota two, and Super Smash Bros. Melee. Other fantastic games trending now involve Overwatch, Rocket League, Super Mario Odyssey, and Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege. Other folks have spawned sequels that out play and out carry out their original games.

Their mission is to be the initial choice for gamers globally, supplying the biggest range of digital games and access to a vibrant, entertaining, worldwide gaming neighborhood that rewards gamers when they connect, play and take pleasure in immersive gaming experiences. At Green Man Gaming they want to be trusted, respected and valued by their buyers and these in their neighborhood. They have put a popular set of values at the heart of how they do business. Their values are designed to capture what they do when they are at their most effective.

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8 EFFECTIVE MARKETING TIPS TO SKYROCKET SALES IN 2021

How do you think marketing works? Well, my perspective on digital marketing in simple layman’s terms is the use of the internet to reach consumers. It is believed that business has only two functions – MARKETING AND INNOVATION.

Marketing Advertising Commercial Strategy Concept

1. Right Strategies, Implementation, & Success.

Planning out business goals and how to achieve them is very important for any brand, don't you think so? I believe it is important to figure out where the brand stands right now and its goal in the forthcoming years. And to achieve the above-said goals, it is necessary to have a well-planned set of strategies in a cost-effective yet impactful manner so that no stone is left unturned. To mention a few strategies:

Creative Web Design/Development: Using UI/UX interface designs and catchy graphic designs and standardized software along with developing the website further helps in generating leads.

Personalized Content: Content is king. Make sure to give out content that grabs the attention of the readers by making it more relatable and personalized to adhere to their requirements.

Discounts/Sale: Providing discounts, cashback, and season sales is something that catches the eye of every given consumer. This will ensure website traffic and to reach a wide range of consumers.

Social Media Marketing: Social media has become a rage amongst people. Marketing a certain business on social media is one of the most effective ways to reach a wider audience and helps to constantly engage with your followers/consumers in different ways.

Omnichannel Marketing: This is the practice of marketing a business across many channels including online and offline modes. It helps to provide an enhanced and customized user experience across numerous channels through any method that the customer prefers.

Once we have a plan, it's now time to implement them! Reach out to various platforms and make sure that your brand visibility is improving with every passing day. It is important to use all the technologies at hand and put your best foot forward in getting your brand on the radar. With this outline, every process can go on organically and effectively which will eventually lead you to success.

2.Content Still Matters

It is said that great content is the best sales tool in the world. Content marketing is an effective approach to marketing that involves the creation and sharing of online material such as videos, blogs, website content, social media posts, etc and eventually not only promotes the brand but also intends to stimulate interest in the services it has to offer. HubSpot research suggests that businesses that blog are 13 times more likely to witness ROI than those that don't. Now, how will content help, improve brand marketing? Here are a few content marketing tips that will answer the above question:

Perfect Keyword Research: It is of utmost importance to make a list of relevant keywords that people are searching for and to make sure to use them in your content. This helps improve brand visibility and eventually to reach out to numerous customers.

Constant Content Optimization: Great headlines catch the attention of the readers and force them to read the blog. It is important to keep optimizing your content with time to make sure that your brand is hand-in-hand with the current trend.

Visual Appeal: Videos/pictures are what adds more understanding to any given concept that you are trying to explain. Add relevant yet innovative photos and videos to grab the attention of readers.

Promotion: Once we have an initial set of audience, it only makes sense to keep expanding it. Promote your blogs/website on various platforms like social media, another fellow brand, and others make sure your brand attains success in every possible way.

3.Social Media is a Game-Changer.

How many of us don't use social media? I'm sure not many of us can say "ME" to that. As of 2020, over 3.6 billion use one or the other social media platforms. With that huge number, isn't it only logical to make use of social media in the field of digital marketing as well? SMM (Social Media Marketing) is a process where the marketer uses social media networks as a tool for promoting their website thus increasing traffic. This is done because, when a website is connected to a social media network its position in the search results increases drastically. Here are a few tips:

Device a full-fledged social sharing strategy.

Use the maximum number of social media platforms possible.

Discuss the current trends and make sure to use them, thus attracting an audience on a larger scale.

Constant engagement with your followers. Run contests/games to stay connected.

Regular social media creation and optimization.

Put across simple and fundamental concepts that can be understood by anybody who reads it. Try not to complicate the content.

Analyze and improve.

4.Make Your Customer the Hero of Your Story.

What determines the success of a brand ultimately? Its customers. Every brand’s ultimate goal is to reach the maximum number of customers and doing this is not an easy task at all and involves a series of best marketing strategies that could be:

Market Research: Make sure to do a quick market survey and collect data as it is very important to understand the needs of your customers and the current trend.

Email Marketing: Emails happen to be one of the easiest means of customer communication since time immemorial. Sending out personalized emails to a set of customers makes it easy for them to stay updated about any new launches/services thereby, increases customer engagement with the brand and increase the potential number of customers from time to time.

SMM: 83% of people who use the internet, use social media as well. This is yet another platform to reach out to a wide range of customers. This has been explained above in detail under the heading, “Social media is a game-changer”.

Content Marketing and web design: It is important to have a website that can be easily accessed on all devices be it smartphones, tablets, or laptops, and also to make it visually attractive. Content is king. The more entertaining and relatable the content is; the more will be the readers who will eventually become loyal consumers. Ain't that so simple?

Ask Customer Reviews: Ask the customers how satisfied they are with the service you are providing. Asking for feedback is one of the ways where the brand understands what it needs to improve whilst making the customer feel important and that their opinion/feedback matters.

5. Page Speed Matters

According to a study, 40% of customers discard websites that take more than 3 seconds to load. So yes, I still stand by what I said, “Page speed matters”. With good page speed, comes, better conversion rates, better search engine rankings, and user experience. Let us see as to how page speed can be improved:

Google Page Speed Insights: This is a free tool, made available by Google which runs performance tests on your website and also gives insights on how to improve the same. It works for desktop and mobile versions.

Image optimization: Images hog the maximum bandwidth of a website. Thus, we can use images in jpeg, jpg, or png formats and compress them, so that they occupy less space which will eventually increase the speed of the page.

Use a CDN strategy: A CDN (Content Delivery Network) is a network spread across various locations in the world. A website with a single server is bound to have an increased loading time. Hence, by incorporating the CDN, user requirements are put across to the closest server(in accordance with their location) and as a result, website speed is increased and keeps the customer engaged.

HTTP Compression: It is mainly used for text-based data like HTML, Java, CSS, and others. These days everybody makes sure that their webs server is GZIP enabled. SO, compressing content will lead to faster loading of web pages.

Transfer the database: Moving the entire data to a separate, optimized server is one of the most effective to improve page speed.

Performance budget calculator: The importance of catchy content has been repeatedly made very clear. This tool helps you to improve your existing content on the website and to constantly optimize it.

Effective tools: There are a bunch of tools that help you to test websites and understand the flaws. To name a few: Pingdom, YSlow, and others.

6. Data Privacy

While the internet is a vast ocean of technology, it also comes with its own risks. This is when cybersecurity/data privacy comes into the picture. During consumer and company interactions, there will be a need to share some personal contact and bank information which need to be protected no matter what. Now, how can that be done? Read along.

Ask for permission: California consumer privacy act (CCPA) and General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) act in such a way that, it gives the consumers all the control over the data/information they wish to pass on according to their own will.

Know and agree: Create a page enlisting all the security tools and policies and go further only if the customer agrees to it upon reading the security you have to offer.

Focusing the right data: Data is most important for any kind of marketing. So, it is important to collect the required data and make sure none of it goes unused. Thus, making it comfortable for the customer while fulfilling the data the website needs as well.

7. Constantly Optimize User Experience

Developing a website and getting customers is one thing, while constantly being able to optimize the user experience is another key aspect. Better user experience leads to better conversion rates and increased revenue. With rapidly increasing trends, don't you think, it is necessary to make sure that your website is not looking old? Well, here are a few tips that can help you improve your website experience:

Google is definitely the most popular and used search engine in the world. Google search rankings play a very important role for any website from any sector. Google algorithms are a set of complex systems that determines the rankings of websites in SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages). Google makes updates/changes thousands of times, and given the importance of it for our website, it only becomes necessary to keep ourselves updated.

Improved page speed.

Use attractive images and videos to keep the website engaging.

Keep the web pages consistent with catchy and well-designed headlines.

Based on the data fed by the user, provide personalized and reliable suggestions/services to the users.

Conduct behavioral UX data analysis and with the final results, work on improving the user/website experience

8. Always Analyze The Results.

There is always an increasing drive to provide the customers with the best experience under any given circumstances. Constant analysis of the results or outcome of the website is the only way to improve any business. Here is how it can be achieved:

Collect data on the works of the website or brand in the past week/month.

Make a statistic analysis by making a graph for better understanding.

Understand why certain aspects might have gone wrong and in the meantime also make sure to keep up with the existing highlights of the website and keep optimizing it and making it better.

Make sure to make all the necessary changes/updates required on a weekly/monthly basis and be at the top of the game and hand-in-hand with the ongoing trend.

A brand is no longer what we tell the consumer – it is what consumers tell each other it is. – Scott Cook

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