#like they r very very good friends i love their friendship sm

[vigilskeep]

Do you think keir and anders had a threesome (foursome?) with Isabela?

they joke abt this happening so much that everyone assumes it happened but it did not and now they can’t admit that it did not because they’ve committed to the bit

[erenfox]

RANKING SBG SHIPS BECAUSE LOKI GAVE US ALL FREE WILL 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

Aidlyn/Ashden: good lord the chemistry. the 'he fell first but she fell harder' trope. the lil gestures by aiden. him annoying tf out of her but also becoming very caring when she's hurt. I'M SO CALM RN GUYS. and the fact that them ending up together is inevitable lmfao XD 9/10

Benlor: FUCKKK IM SERIOUSLY NOT OK THESE TWO ARE JUST SO PURE AND SWEET TO EACH OTHER. ESPECIALLY TAYLOR TOWARDS HIM, cuz he kinda suppresses his feelings and is a sad boi :( dw ben taylor's gonna make you feel happy again fosho lmao 😭 the lil blushing ben always does around taylor! her supporting his ideas even tho they flop! her helping him calm down from barron through music! her always cheering him up whenever he's gloomy! her being the first to thank him for opening up! THEY'RE LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF SHE FELL FIRST BUT HE FELL HARDER! GOD IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM 😭😭😭 10/10

Tylenol/Tylo: i never thought of the prospect of them together, but post tumblr i must say its interesting. not just them being the single ones in the team, but i like the way tyler defended logan against barron, and his general protective aura around logan. but then again tyler was kinda rude to logan in the start. but then again it gives nerd x jock vibes which to me r pretty cool 5/10

Tyden: LMAO the continuous saga of them pissing tf out of each other. it would be fuckin hilarious if they somehow end up together. but apart from the general hilarious bickering, there's not too much to it 5/10

Tayden: goddamn their friendship is so precious!! her painting his nails? her carrying him on his shoulders in dat one artwork?PURE BESTIE VIBES they just match each other's freak lmfao. 8/10

Logden: meh there are not any significant moments between these two. would definitely be cute, but i can't see it happening lol 2/10

Loglor/Taygan: no but why can i actually see this happening lol. the way theyre both so gentle around each other! then the way she was the first to help him when he got slashed by the phantom? and also the way she stood up for him when tyler was being rude? Cute! 6/10

Benlyn: ooh the two quiet people of the gang! they could work out really well bcoz they definitely understand each other's struggles with muteness and phantom hearing respectively. plus that panel of ben braiding ashlyn's hair was so cute lmao :> 7/10

Loglyn: AAA they have sm potential!!! before the events of yk the whole ✨sAvAnNaH✨ mess, i feel like they wouldve been each other's only existing acquaintance they may call friends (ik it's not canon but it's very plausible lol) 6/10

Benlo/Logben: theyd definitely be good together, it's just that my sbg memory is failing to recall any significant moments b/w them ;-; if y'all remember pls do tell 4/10

Tyben: what is with the hernandez siblings always ending up being bens biggest supporters lmao XD it's a cute dynamic honestly 5/10

Taylyn: now this is one freakin adorable ship TvT. the way taylor always had a slight pang of concern for a friendless lonely ashlyn when they were kids? and the way they quite frankly became besties after enduring all the phantom world shit? very sweet lmao 7/10

Tylyn/Ashler: i have been usurped into the tylyn propaganda by @tragedry honestly I DO NOT COMPLAIN. like holy fuck they're so enemies to lovers! them "loathing" each other, fighting for leadership, but then immediately becoming possibly the biggest protectors of each other in times of danger??? extremely wholesome lmao i love them smmm 9/10

SO THE TOP SHIPS ARE:

3. TAYDEN (the crack ship) 😈🔥🥉

2. tie b/w TYLYN and AIDLYN (the wholesome ships) 😌👌🥈

1. BENLOR (THE PUREST SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE GOOFS EVERR I-) 🥺❤🥇

[yesimwriting]

Final Girl - Part 8

Series Masterlist (updated chapters 1 -9 and extras) Final Girl Masterlist

A/N this took awhile,, but i always want to put my best foot forward bc of how much this series means to me, which means i work when i’m in the right headspace for it and have the time to invest,, which hasn’t been lining up too much recently 😭 anyways i see all the supportive comments and appreciate them sm!!

also keep in mind that my priority is not the timeline, like if you’re feeling like the month before halloween is the longest month of all time,, it’s bc i want to give them bonding time before the heavy murder stuff! 

Series Summary: Y/n can’t believe that she has to leave the only home she’s ever known just because her mom’s latest boyfriend has a house in some town in California. Just as she’s starting to think that Woodsboro might not be that bad, something life altering happens after she agrees to sleep over at the Becker’s house. Now her name is practically synonymous with Ghostface’s/

Chapter Summary: Y/n tries to get back to normal and work on her friendships, but there’s nothing normal about surviving a serial killer attack, and it’s no one’s fault her friends keep noticing. She’s navigating the start of dealing with her trauma while also trying to be a good friend, especially since Billy hasn’t been feeling like himself lately. In a desperate attempt to feel like a normal, healthy teenager, Y/n crosses a personal boundary. 

----

My mom has often told me that in many ways, I was born as an old lady. 

She’d always say it after I tried being responsible. Suggesting that she give herself a curfew on weeknights, or at the very least, call if she was going to be late. Reminding her that there’s a reason people gave her the side eye when she took a visibly underage me into R-rated movies. 

Now that I’m older, I guess she was right in a lot of ways. I wasn’t the kid-iest kid, if that makes sense, but there was one thing I was always good at: playing dress up. 

With a mom like Gloria, it would have been hard not to. For years, my mom’s closet basically had the same magical properties as Disneyland. I thought that that mindset might have just been nine-year-old me, but apparently not, because Tatum and Sidney have been looking through it like it’s life changing. 

“Okay.” Tatum picks up one of my mom’s shimmery wrap and tosses it over her shoulder. “It’s official, when I die, I want to be buried here.”

I look over in time to watch her observe herself in the mirror. “Then I hope you live for a very long time.” 

She wrinkles her nose.  “That better not be the only reason.” 

“Course not, you know I love you very much, Tate-a-boo.” I make a quick kiss-y face, and Tatum almost giggles before returning the gesture. 

Turning away from my mom’s dresses, Sidney smiles. “Please, for all our sakes, don’t let Stu hear you say that.” 

After the joke settles, I practically snort. “Good point.” I step a little further into the closet, refocusing my attention. The only reason we’re all in here is because I wanted to borrow a pair of shoes before going out to the nail salon. It was Tatum’s idea, and the state of my cuticles made me agree. My social hibernation has not been good to them. “Okay, these are the shoes.” 

Sidney steps out of the closet to give me the space to do the same. I slip on the shoes, happy with how they look with my outfit and their level of comfortableness. My mom rarely buys any shoes for herself that aren’t heels, so she ends up taking anything that’s remotely comfortable from my closet. 

“I want to stay here.” Tatum’s hand brushes against the sleeve of something cashmere. “Maybe forever.” 

“And leave your nail beds like that?” Sid glances away from the full length mirror that’s right outside of my mom’s closet. She turns her attention to her reflection, adjusting the fluffiness of her always, almost magically perfect bangs.

Tatum halfheartedly glares before stepping out of the closet. “You’re such a liar.” She raises a hand, studying her palm while walking out of the closet. “You told me they looked fine yesterday.”

Sidney almost smiles before throwing me a look. A quick raise of eyebrows that seems to say got her. “We’re gonna be late.” 

----

The first nail appointment after awhile always feels like willingly volunteering to get a bunch of paper cuts. It’s not overwhelming painful, just a little irritating. After feels nice, though, now that my nails look fresh and I know I don’t have to worry about having my cuticles professionally gutted for a little bit. 

And being around Sidney and Tatum is nice. Familiar in a way that’s still new. It’s weird in a good way. Like I could start throwing around cheesy terms like BFF and it wouldn’t even be dumb. It’d still be ironic, but I think they’d get the sentiment. It’s not that I’ve never had good friends, but this is different. A little more open.

Like right now we’re in Sidney’s room and we’re not talking about anything in particular, just going off of whatever comes up. I could probably say the dumbest thing in the world right now and it wouldn’t even feel unfitting or awkward. 

“...Shut up, he was not that bad.” Tatum’s trying to sound more upset than she is. Somehow Sidney found a way to tell me about Tatum’s first boyfriend. A total middle school romance--they even went to the 8th grade dance together and held hands and had their first kiss under the bleachers. Sounds cute enough, but according to Sidney he was a total weirdo. Even by 8th grade boy standards. “He wasn’t.” 

Sidney laughs again, the movement has her arm bumping into mine. “He tried to eat a live lizard because Stu dared him.” 

“No way.” I snort. “Your first kiss was with a lizard eater?” 

Tate sighs, dropping her head against the side of the mattress and crossing her legs on the floor. “Tried. It ran away and no one ever found it.” That’s still objectively hilarious. I can’t picture Tatum with anyone that out there, but then again, she is with Stu. 

Not that he reminds me of an 8th grade boy trying to eat a lizard, but he was the one that came up with the idea. “Maybe Stu ate it.” 

Tatum glares, halfheartedly shoving my leg as Sidney clasps a hand over her mouth to avoid laughing too hard. “I’ll ask him.” 

It’s strange to picture them like that. A little younger, growing up together. “So you guys knew each other back then and now...” 

She shrugs, “I don’t know...it just kind of happened. He was always hooking up with or seeing any girl with a pulse and I didn’t even see him like that until after--” She cuts herself off with no warning. “You know Sidney and Billy have a way nicer getting together story.” Tate snaps her head up to look at Sidney, whose expression immediately shifts. “Right, Sid?” 

Sidney’s eyes briefly meet mine. There’s a bit of uneasiness there that I don’t get. What could the end of Tatum’s thought have been? What could she have been about to say that might have been--oh. 

“Yeah,” she agrees, “Billy and I were hanging out for weeks--” 

“You can say her name.” My throat feels drier than it did a second ago. “I won’t freak out if you mention Casey. Promise.” 

Tatum’s eyes briefly shut. “That’s--” She doesn’t know how to finish the sentence. I’m right. Why wouldn’t she think I’d freak out? After the way I acted at that party. “No one would blame you if you did.” 

It’s easy to say that it doesn’t matter when you’re not the one that has melt downs. “Yeah.” 

There’s a brief stretch of awkward silence, the light mood now tainted by the exact thing that’s kept me away from my friends for so long. Maybe keeping to myself was about more than the safety of others--maybe I don’t want anyone to know what I’m like now. 

“It’d be weirder if you weren’t a little messed up about it.” Tatum hums the words with such casualness I can’t help but laugh, even when Sidney snaps her head to the side to give her a seriously look. “I’m serious, only a total psycho would be able to see that and jump back into things.” 

Sidney sits up a little more, “And you took the SAT a week after it all happened. You’re doing a lot better than most people would be doing.” 

I nod, glad that they’re at least good at pretending that I’m not a total mess. “Yeah, guess I’m just sensitive about it because I freaked out on Noel at that party.” Ugh. That’s been something I’ve been trying really hard to forget. “He probably thinks I’m a total freak.” My eyes squeeze shut at the memory of the party. I had been a total mess. I flip flopped on murder accusations like it was nothing and nearly ran to Casey’s house in the middle of the night. “He’s probably told everyone I’m a total freak.” 

“You don’t know that.” Sidney’s nice for trying to comfort me, but it’s not the best argument. She picks up on my expression because she then immediately tacks on, “Okay, let’s be logical--why would he do that?” 

“Why wouldn’t he after the way I acted?” Ugh. Every guy that knows him is going to think I’m a complete weirdo. This is what I get for trying to date. “And it’s not like he called after. He hasn’t even talked to me in class since.” 

Sidney’s eyebrows draw together briefly before her hands move off of her lap and land on her comforter. She pushes herself to stand. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” 

“Noel’s a total scrub. You’re better off.” Tatum stands too, scratching the back of her arm once. She approaches the bag she abandoned near Sidney’s door, “I brought that eyeshadow I was telling you about. The sparkly, blue one that makes everyone look like Baby Spice.” 

She exhales what’s almost a laugh and I find myself not being able to answer. That does sound like something I’d normally happily go along with. Even though Tatum tends to go for a more subtle look on the day to day, she has a solid makeup collection. Lots of trendy shimmers and bright colors that are fun to swatch and mess around with. But there’s something about the way she said it...breezed away from one topic to this.

And the way Sidney just got up like she was hoping that’d change something. I sit up a little straighter, trying to remember what it’s like to not feel paranoid all the time.

Sidney stops adjusting her hair and messing with her bangs in the mirror. “Or we could hold off on that and go to the video store.” Another change to a topic that normally I’d be all over. “I think Randy’s working, we could bug him a little and get something to watch later.” 

Okay, another thing I’d normally want to do. It has been a minute since I’ve gotten to annoy Randy, and the itch is definitely there. Maybe they’re just trying to be good friends and cheer me up, but they’re spitting out suggestions in a way that feels like they’re really hoping one will stick.

 “Are--do you guys know something about something?” Ugh. If this is my paranoia acting up, I’ll never recover. Why can’t I just go along with things? “I don’t know if it’s me and my head, but you’re acting kinda weird.” 

“No, we’re just--” Sidney’s eyes don’t stay on me, they shift over to Tatum for the briefest second. I blink and almost convince myself I’ve imagined it. “You’re not crazy, we just don’t want to stress you out.” 

I push myself onto my feet. “That is the worst thing you can say to someone you don’t want to stress out.”

Sidney’s eyebrows draw together like she’s worried. I almost feel bad for pushing. “Noel not talking to you isn’t an accident or your fault.” 

“Sid.” I snap my head in Tatum’s direction. She hesitates beneath my stare and gives in with a sigh, “Okay, Noel’s a player who brags about crushing girls’ virginities and breaking up with them the next day. He talks about every girl he’s dated like they’re some kind of car and there are even worse things written about him in the handicap stall of the second floor bathroom.” Tatum pauses, considering how she’s going to word what actually happened. “You’re going through a lot right now and that’s the last thing you need, and we were worried about you, so we talked to Stu and Billy and basically...got Noel to back off.” 

Oh my god. The embarrassment, anger, and shock are all fighting for dominance in my mind, but none of them overpower the other so the feeling is just really fucking bad. All I can picture is Billy and Stu talking to Noel like I’m some little kid or someone with brain damage that can’t make their own choices. 

“You guys suck!” I wipe at my face with the back of my hand, exhaustion cutting into my irritation. “Like really suck. I’m not some child that can’t make her own decisions.” Ugh--I can’t even decide how to react. “It’s not like I was going to marry him or anything.” 

Tatum watches me with a certain level of uncertainty. I don’t think I’ve ever snapped at her or Sidney before. “You’re not exactly a casual dater.” 

“Well--I-I could have been.” It feels awkward, almost reluctant, and I hate myself for it. She’s technically right. I’ve never casually dated, but I’ve never seriously dated either, so it probably wouldn’t kill me. “Either way, it might have been a mistake, but it was my mistake to make.”

“I know, Y/n,” Sidney breathes the words slowly, “We didn’t mean anything by it, it wasn’t like a whole scheme or anything it just--” She’s trying, really trying. “We wanted to help you.” 

I didn’t need help, I was fine. The genuine hint of worry in her tone keeps me from pointing that out. I just stare at her and then at Tatum. Why does it matter anyways? Everyone gets to be normal and do dumb things and have people they’re close with and relationships and all I have is the stupid ‘almost murdered’ label. 

“Why does it matter enough for you to--” I cut myself off, not sure what I’m really asking or what I mean. 

Tatum lets out a small sigh, the sound almost reluctant, maybe a tiny bit annoyed that she even has to talk about this. “Because you’re our friend,” she half shrugs like what she’s saying should have been assumed , “And we love you.” She presses her lips together briefly, “Duh.” 

Sidney throws a look in Tatum’s direction, “Yeah, we love you so much we were willing to risk you being super mad at us because we were worried.” Sidney pauses to take a breath. “We shouldn’t have done it behind your back, and in the future we won’t meddle.”

When I don’t ease, Tatum tacts on, “If it makes things any better, Stu’s normally a total guy’s guy about this kind of thing and even he thinks Noel’s a total creep.” She scratches the back of her wrist, “And those two never care about this stuff, so, boohoo, we all love you.” 

Okay, that doesn’t exactly fix things but it does take the edge off just a tiny bit. They all go way back, and that’s intimidating. And Tatum’s trying to be funny about it, layering on the sarcasm so that I’ll laugh. I hate that it’s almost working. “Well, as long as it’s just everyone being obsessed with me...” The joke feels like a bit of a betrayal, so I tact on something else, “I’m still mad, though.” That feels even weaker. I’m too in my head about all of it and still pretty embarrassed despite the fact that I didn’t do anything. It won’t last forever, but right now, it’s all feeling like too much. The safety of my bedroom feels miles away instead of the few blocks it actually is. “I think I-I’m gonna...” 

“No,” Tatum huffs, “It wasn’t supposed to be a thing.” She tilts her head to the side, silky blonde hair bouncing with the motion. “We haven’t seen you in forever and it was more Stu and Billy’s thing, they’ve been ready to start a thing with him since like the 9th grade.” 

More Stu and Billy’s thing? That almost makes sense for Billy, who Noel casually suggested could be a murderer. But Stu? Noel seemed to like him well enough. Maybe it’s a loyalty thing. I can see Billy and Stu having a bit of package deal friendship. You can’t hate on one without becoming enemy of the other. And with how generally protective Stu seems to be over his friends, it’d make sense. 

But still. I am not a bargaining chip or an excuse or someone that needs their approval on who I do or don’t date.

“Let’s do whatever you want to do and then if you’re still mad, we can invite them over and you can yell at them.” 

Tatum almost smiles, “You’re good at that.” 

That...feels a little weird. “I’m good at yelling?” 

“No, it’s like when you told off that reporter. One minute, you’re normal, but then, when you need to be--bam! You’re super bitch.” 

I laugh, this time it’s genuine. “Super bitch strikes again.” The exit is still close, and some nervous part of me wants to cling to the out. I’m not sure if it’s out of some form of fear or genuine anger or both. But I do want to stay around them a little longer and go take way too long renting a video just to annoy Randy. “If I get to pick what we do, I say we go bother Randy and get a movie. He’s had it easy for too long.” 

Sid half scoffs at my ominous tone. “How do you know?” 

"Knowing whether or not Randy needs to be annoyed is my superpower.” 

----

The video rental is surprisingly empty for early Thursday evening. Schools are out and it’s close enough to the weekend where normally there are more people stopping by to check out what they want to watch in advance. Today doesn’t reflect that. Good to know that my Randy distress radar is still in tact. 

There’s an older man adjusting the latest release aisle, changing out movies. He’s the only employee that I see as I scan over the store and a part of me nearly deflates. Sidney did say she thought Randy would be working and I have no way of knowing. Our friendship has also been a victim to my recent hermit ways, and it’s likely suffered more than my connection with anyone else. At least my other friends are in a couple of my classes or need to walk down the same hallways. Most of Randy’s classes aren’t near mine and we only share a study hall, which he often uses as an excuse to leave early in order to get to work. Meaning that most days I only see him during lunch. 

The door to the back swings open and behind a cart of VHS tapes, there’s a familiar face. Randy. I find myself smiling as I approach the counter he’s coming up from behind. 

“Excuse me,” he glances up, a bit of surprise causing him to raise his eyebrows, “I was wondering if you have a copy of Child’s Play 2, but not the original, the extended cut with the alternate ending, Sorority House Massacre, uncut, duh, and/or Fox’s original version of Clueless.” 

Randy blinks, unfazed by my bullshit. “I’ve been around you too long to fall for that last one.” 

I almost laugh. I can’t believe Randy remembers my rant about the developmental nightmare that was the original Clueless pitch. Fox wanted a TV show, but they got a movie instead, and that took way too long for no reason. I had talked about it a lot longer than I meant to the other day at school. “You caught it.” 

“Decoys are always more obvious than they seem to the person making them.” It feels like some kind of movie rule reference, vague enough for me to get how it applies but not so random I feel the need to ask. “So are you here to rent something or make my job harder?” 

“A little of both.” Turning my head, I gesture to where Sidney and Tatum are. They’re in the same aisle, backs to each other as they scan through options. “We wanted something to watch and Sidney said she thought you’d be working today.” I tap my nails against the counter. “And I had this feeling that things have probably been too easy for you.”

Randy’s lips turn upwards but it feels a little different than a smile. “Yeah, nothing but peace since you...” 

“Became a total paranoid PTSD recluse?” 

He half shrugs, “Jack Torrence.” I roll my eyes, a little relieved that Randy’s joking about it instead of pressing. It’s part of the reason he’s a good friend to have. “You’re feeling better, though, right?” 

Spoke a little too soon, but that’s an okay question. It’s not invasive, it’s just an offer. “Getting there.” 

Randy nods, taking in the answer for what feels like a little too long for two words. Maybe he’s feeling the honesty of what does seem like a cop out answer. I’m not over it by any means, but feeling better is a process that’s starting to work. “That’s good.” He pushes the cart slightly before pulling back to place. “You’re good.” Randy lets out a breath, tugging and pushing the cart again. “I mean--deserve to feel good and normal.” 

I grin at the stumble in words. It’s rare that we’re openly nice to each other instead of acting like little kids after one pulls the other’s hair. “I get what you mean.” 

His lips part, but no words come out. Randy’s eyebrows draw together as his mouth shuts. What is--a firm touch on my shoulder snaps the question out of me. My head turns and some kind of comment about being rude to people in line rises and immediately falls back down. Stu! And then I remember my earlier conversation and it feels a lot more like: Oh. Stu. 

It’s such an instant flip that for a second I don’t react. Stu pulls his arm around me in a quick attempt at a side hug, but I’m so stiff it’s more like being shoved into him. “Look who’s here.” 

Bumping into him is by no means new to me. Small town, same friends, some overlap in hobbies. But this time it’s different. I promised myself that Stu and Billy would get scolded for meddling as soon as possible, but I didn’t expect run into him in public. It’s like being a parent with a child that’s misbehaving in church. You can’t do anything but redirect until you get to the car. 

Stu drops his arm back to his side. “Thought you were doing something with Tatum and Sid?” 

“They’re over there,” I gesture vaguely with a tilt of my head, trying to seem casual. I might not be willing to get into the whole Noel thing in front of Randy and the suburban mom trying to settle a dispute between two kids who can’t decide which movie to get, but Stu probably is. “I wouldn’t look too closely, girls’ night movies might make you sick.” 

Stu misses by just a second. He does wrinkle his nose in a display of the kind of good humor I’d expect from him, but it doesn’t feel as natural. There’s nothing wrong about his reaction, it just feels lacking. Missing his usual brand of energy. “I have no issue with girls’ night movies.” 

Clearly, I’ve been spending too much time with him because I get the joke instantly. Now it’s my turn to cringe. “Why do I even talk to you?” 

“Because, buggsie, your life would be so boring without me.” The nickname does make my expression warp, but this time it’s more like trying to keep in a laugh than anything else. “If your only movie influence was Randy, you’d be a lot less likable.” 

Randy sighs. “Keep telling yourself that.”

The words are just a little too sharp. They’re good enough friends in some senses. Not two I’d guess hang alone together, but I like to think at the end of the day they like co-existing. That doesn’t mean they don’t bicker from time to time in a way that feels different than when Randy and I fight like little kids or Stu and I fight like an old married couple too lazy to get divorced. 

“No need to be bitter, dude,” Stu’s hand is back around my shoulder, “I gave you a whole five minutes.” That was a weird thing to say. Random, and not in a fun sort of way, but before I can ask, Stu’s pulling me forward. “You want to help me sneak up on Tay?” 

I throw Randy a look that hopefully communicates my level of confusion and some sort of see you later. “Uh...” Stu’s already turning like I’ve answered, “Sure?” 

When we’re finally closer to the shelves than the counter, Stu lets me go, his hand sliding down my arm a little before retracting. “So you go up to Tatum, talk to her, keep her distracted, and I’ll sneak up behind her.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He’s moving along so quickly and casually, but I’m still fixed on that last comment to Randy. It wasn’t banter-y and Randy didn’t say anything back, which feels a little weird. “That last thing you said, the five minute thing?”

Stu barely pauses, head tilting in a way that feels confused. “Oh. Gave him five minutes to make a move, but you know Randy, not a closer.”

It’s said casually enough that I could think Stu’s being serious, but there’s also a hum of sarcasm in there. And what he’s saying does feel too unrealistic to not be a joke. Randy and I are completely platonic, there’s no way he sees me like that. Plus, I’d like to think that if a guy I’m around that regularly liked me in any sort of way, I’d have at least somewhat picked up on it. 

“Shut up,” I shove Stu’s arm, “You’re not funny.”

He holds his hands up in defense briefly. “Don’t shoot the messenger.” 

It’s said casual enough that I’m finally given a second to think. The nagging voice at the back of my head is finally given the opportunity to remind me that I’m supposed to be mad at him. Or, at the very least, irritated until I can tell him off for trying to make decisions for me behind my back. 

“Interesting that you mention shooting you, be--” 

“Ouch,” Stu hums, a little too pointedly, “Thought we were all good, angel.” I press my lips together, staring at the ground to avoid giving him anything to latch onto. “I’ve been on best behavior. Minding my business, just here to check something out.”

I stop, a motion I think is subtle enough but Stu picks up on it immediately. He turns and grabs my wrist. The contact is sudden enough to force me to look up. Stu’s watching me, his expression seems innocent, and not in that pretend way either. There’s a hint of confusion behind his eyes. I’m not sure I entirely believe it, but I think it’s possible that what I’m mad about isn’t coming to mind. He has no reason to think I’d know about it. 

His hold is firm and oddly warm and bordering on distracting. 

“Stu,” Tatum’s cheery voice snaps the two of us out of our stand off.

He pulls away quickly, eyes falling on Tatum. “There’s my girl.” Stu pulls her into a hug and gives her a quick kiss. “Y/n was going to help me sneak up and surprise you, but she’s in a mood.” 

Ugh. Stu has a way of dismissing any type of reaction that doesn’t work for him as me being in a mood or pouting. “I am not in a mood.” 

“Give her a break.” Stu’s hands are still on her. “Y/n found out about the Noel thing.”My gaze instinctually shifts back to Stu. His easygoing grin falters. Tatum smiles at him with a coy look that I guess could be interpreted as some kind of apology. “Don’t get moody, she pulled it out of us.” 

It takes him a second, but Stu eventually eases off of her. He doesn’t look as content as before, but his expression hints at nothing else besides casual annoyance. “She can’t be too mad if she’s still hanging around you and Sid.” 

“I got to tell them both off already.” 

Stu turns, something smug tugging his face into an almost smile. It’s infuriating. “If that’s what you’re into, babe.” 

Tatum scoffs and halfheartedly smacks his shoulders. “You’ve been around long enough that I don’t have to apologize for him anymore, right?”

“Right.” 

Stu lets out a breath, “Geez, you two sure act like you love me.” 

I am so not in the mood to say anything nice about Stu in front of him. “Maybe if you minded your business a little more--” 

“Okay,” Tatum pushes herself into the budding argument and looks at me. “Save your energy for when there’s two of them.” Good point. If I yelled at Stu and Billy separately every time they messed up, I’d be yelling constantly. Tatum’s attention shifts back to Stu, “Is he around? Sid’s around the corner.” 

Stu shakes his head once. “Nah, it’s still early and he only said he might call. He’s been a little out of it.” 

Billy’s out of it? And out of it enough to not be around Stu for once? It’s not like they’re literally attached at the hip but a weekend evening where both me and their girlfriends are busy and they’re not hanging out together? That in itself hints at something being wrong. 

I think through the last I heard from Billy, but nothing particularly stands out. He might have briefly mentioned his dad but not in a concerning way. Not in a way that indicated he’d have to spend extra time with him or anything.

Billy has also been weirdly absent. No recent warning-less appearances at my window. Has he been going through something and I’m just too caught up in my personal issues to notice? God, this serial killer nonsense has turned me into a terrible friend. 

“He okay?” 

Stu’s eyes flit up to meet mine. “You might want to hold off on the scolding, but last time I checked in, yeah. Just all angsty, you know how Billy gets.” 

I blink. Last time he checked in. Maybe I’m idealizing their friendship too much, but I’ve always felt like they were looking out for each other. Closer than Stu’s current reaction warrants. Or maybe I’m overthinking things and Billy’s just taking some time. He doesn’t seem the type to want to talk about fuzzy things like feelings. 

“We were going to ask you guys to come over, but if he’s not up for it, that’s okay,” Tatum says, “You can still come by later, but I think you should check in on him.” 

Now I’m starting to feel antsy. Like I should go check in on Billy, but I don’t even know what that’d look like. The realization that I’ve never been to Billy’s house hits hard and with no warning. Whenever we all hang out, it’s at my place or someone else’s, and when it’s the three of us we go to Stu’s and sometimes my house. The thought rubs me the wrong way, like this one thing is pulling on the threads of our friendship. 

He’s one of my best friends and I can’t even say I know what his room looks like. 

“I’ll probably stop by soon.” 

That makes me frown. Probably. Soon. 

“Oh, that reminds me.” Tatum’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “Dewey wanted me to give you a head’s up that he’ll be trying to meet with you soon. He wants to go over some....stuff.” 

Ugh, this again. I can’t escape it. “Yeah. He has my number, Dewey can call whenever, but the warning was nice.” 

Stu shifts back like he doesn’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “He wants to talk to her again?” He’s more offended than I am. “What? It’s not like anything’s changed.” 

Tatum shrugs, “I don’t know. Dewey doesn’t give me the details.” 

“Unless they have new evidence, they shouldn’t be dragging her back into it just because they don’t know shit.”

I should tell him to drop it. That this is my business and maybe it’s time we establish some firmer boundaries, but I can’t get the words to form. The whole thing feels hypocritical. I should be annoyed, but I’m not because he’s saying what I can’t. 

It’s brief, but for a second it almost feels like Stu might be the closest to someone that gets what it feels like. The irony is insane, considering that there’s no way that empathy’s his strong suit. 

“I don’t know. It’s not my thing.” 

Tatum is understandably a little defensive, which is fair. Especially when considering our earlier conversation. This isn’t fair to her. “It’s okay.” The words feel like a flat cop out compared to Stu’s instinctual defense. “It’s not Tatum’s fault and Dewey was really nice about it last time--” 

“Last time? You mean when they ambushed you at the hospital before they let you take visitors?” 

My stomach knots at that. The feeling of waking up there, confused and unaware of what I’d just been through and then being made to feel like I was completely alone while Billy and Stu were waiting outside for me. “That’s not his fault.” A dry defense. “It sucks, but it’s for the greater good and it won’t take long.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or him. “It’s okay.” 

Stu half sighs. “I’m going to grab my movie and head out, maybe stop by Billy’s.” He tuns to give Tatum a brief goodbye kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll see you soon, Y/n. Make sure you get to yell at me before it builds too much.” 

At that, I roll my eyes but still wave him off. 

---- 

My eyes are on the phone again, staring down the extension on my nightstand like it’s keeping things from me. 

Ugh. This is ridiculous. I snap my attention back to the homework in front of me. Some extra credit for my math class. It’s an attempt at damage control because the test I had to take the morning after being attacked by a serial killer is seriously bringing down my GPA. Too bad calc has never been my strong suit. The distraction that is my inability to move on from what Stu said is definitely not helping. 

Even after Sidney, Tatum, and I left the video store, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Stu’s uncertainty and what Billy could be going through. Maybe Stu was playing down how much he knows because Billy didn’t want anyone else knowing. I could see that. Hope for that since the thought of Billy locking himself in his room and dealing with whatever it is completely alone tugs at my heart.  

I could call. He might not answer, but that’s okay. It might make me feel better to just do something and it’s not like I’ve never called him. There’s also the more extreme option of showing up to his place. I’ve never been to his house,  but he’s pointed it out before. Even though I physically could get there, that feels like too much. If I’ve never been over, it’s probably for a reason.

There’s also Stu. I could call him to ask about Billy. He’s more likely to tell me about how Billy’s doing than Billy. But that also feels weird for no reason. Again, it’s not like I never call them. 

I glance over at the digital clock on my desk. 7:56. Okay--it’s not too late. Not weirdly late. 

I stand before I can think about it too much, walking over to the phone. If it’s going to be distracting, I should just get it over with. Maybe having some kind of answer will make it easier to focus on things.

The phone rings about three times before there’s an answer. “Yeah?” 

“Hey.” Okay, that one word feels super awkward for no reason. “Hi--it’s um--” Be more normal. It’s just Stu. “It’s Y/n.” 

A quick breath that feels more like a laugh than it sounds. “Yeah, I figured that out.” Great, now he’s making fun of me. “I also know why you’re calling.” 

“Really?” 

I can feel his amusement over the phone. “You can’t stop thinking about me and want me to come over.”

I snort as soon as the words wash over me. What was I expecting? “You figured it out. This is a booty call.” 

Stu sort of laughs. “Yeah? I can be over in five.”

Pressing my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, I sit up a little more. “Loser.” I reach over for a pillow and pull it on to my lap. “Okay, so actual reason, I was trying to do something for calc, so obviously my mind was wandering and thinking about literally anything else.” 

“Obviously.” 

My fingers brush the fluff of the pillow’s exterior. I brush the strands flat and then back into little spikes of hair. “And at some point, I started thinking about what you said at the video store. About Billy.”

There’s a brief silence, and then another one of Stu’s breathy-accidental-laughs. “Aw, you’re worried.” Ugh. “That’s cute, angel, I’ll make sure to tell him.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t be a spoilsport.” 

My nose wrinkles at that, nails smothering my pillow’s layer of fluff. “Is he okay or not?” 

For a second, the only thing coming from the other side of the phone is the general static of someone’s movement. “Bossy.” I roll my eyes, but before I can tell him to spare me tonight, Stu continues, “Why didn’t you just call Billy?” 

It’s a fair question, which only bugs me more. “Because there’s no way to call someone and ask if they’re okay based on a passing comment without sounding insane.” 

I pinch the thin hairs of my pillows between my thumb and index finger. “And it’s less insane this way?”

Feels like it. “Kinda, yeah.” 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it. Billy’s fine, he’ll be back to his usual levels of brooding soon. Promise.” I don’t know what to make of that, so I just focus on my pillow. “It might help if you called him tomorrow. Let him sleep it off for a little longer.”

That’s probably a good suggestion. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” My eyes drift back to the still open textbook on my desk. My mom is out with Wells so I can’t even use her as an excuse to not be doing this right now. I briefly bite my tongue to give myself a second to think through what I’m considering. “You um--are you doing anything right now?” Even more awkward. Great. “I could really use an excuse to not work on calc right now.” 

“Now it’s a booty call.” 

Being friends with him is so annoying sometimes. “I hate you.”

“Ouch,” a brief shuffling before he speaks again, “You know I love distracting you--” I roll my eyes. “But tonight’s--” 

“Shit, is Tatum over or something?” A hand flies over my mouth. Of course I’d call at a time where he had someone over and be a total mess. “I’m sorry.” 

Some more static before a response, “No, it’s--” He sighs once. “Billy’s here and he’s--” Oh. My embarrassment is definitely doubling, but there’s still some relief there. At least he’s not alone. “Maybe you should come over, help cheer him up.”

“You’re kind of an asshole for not mentioning that earlier.” I push the throw pillow off my lap and let my back fall onto my cocoon of larger pillows. “And it’s fine, I wouldn’t want to overwhelm him or anything.” 

“No,” Stu’s answer is quick but feels a little flat. Almost worried. “You--I think it’d be good for him to see you.” There’s still a bit of hesitance there, like Stu’s not telling me the full story. Maybe he can’t. “We rented a few movies and I think I might still have those sour gummy things you like.” 

I really do love sour gummies. “Is Billy okay with it?” 

“It’s my house, bug.” When I don’t say anything, Stu sighs, “Kidding. C’mon, he loves you.” I don’t know why I’m debating so much, it was my idea, but now it feels a little intrusive of me. “And we’re a lot more fun than calculus.” 

“Not a high bar you’re setting there.” Stu pointedly scoffs. “Okay--if you’re sure Billy’s okay with it, I’ll be over in a few.”

“Need to go ask your mommy?” 

I’m already pushing myself to my feet. “Shut up.” An ‘at least I have a parent that gives a shit’ nearly slips out and I just barely manage to bite my tongue. That’d be like reacting to a playful shove with a punch to the face. Besides, my mom’s not a factor right now. She and Wells are out to dinner with some friends. She left me with a 20 to order pizza and maybe rent a movie. “I can still not go.” 

Stu chooses to ignore the (empty) threat, “See you soon, babe.” 

I push open the door of my closet and search through it as quickly as possible. It’s not like I need to get dressed up to go to Stu’s, but my stained pajama pants from the ninth grade and practically threadbare tank top aren’t things I wear out of the house. Especially now that fall is making evenings a lot chillier. “I don’t get our friendship.”

“I keep you supplied with those awful sour gummies.”

I smile despite myself, grabbing something out of my closet. “That explains it.” Bending down, I pick up another article of clothing. “See you soon.” 

----

“There she is.”

Stu pulls me into a hug before I can think to react. He’s always so warm and everywhere. I think it has to do with his smell. It sounds weird but he’s so consistent about it. Enough expensive laundry detergent to drown out most of the usual teen boy body spray musk to a level that’s tolerable and sharpens the slight hint of weed that seems to cling to him. Even that is balanced. Subtle unless you know to think about it. But now it’s a little more overwhelming than usual...fresher. 

Like he just finished a joint. I stare at him for a second and while his eyes seem mostly normal, there’s a bit of a red tinge there. If it wasn’t for the smell of weed, I wouldn’t have noticed. “Are you high?” 

The corner of Stu’s mouth pulls up into an almost smile. He’s amused. “That’s a fun way to greet me.” I give him a pointed look. “Mmm...maybe a little.” Stu extends an arm, halfheartedly punching me in the shoulder. Instead of dropping his arm like usual, Stu relaxes his fist in order to squeeze the top of my arm. “What gave me away, angel?”

“With you, it’s always a safe guess.” He sort of frowns, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Kidding. You smell like a dispensary.” 

Stu squeezes my arm a little harder. “Judgy.” He tilts his head slightly. “And here I was going to offer you some.” 

“No one likes me when I’m high.” That’s true enough. I get all paranoid and clingy. Randy won’t even smoke around me if we’re alone just in case. 

He half scoffs. “Nah, that’s just for people that don’t know how to handle you.” 

Handle me? I’m about to give him some sarcastic answer, but when my eyes meet his, the reaction freezes over. He’s staring at me with a concentration that feels more prominent than his hand on my arm. I don’t know why, but I feel the need the redirect and break the silence. “Where’s Billy?” 

“In my room.” Stu swings a hand around my shoulder and starts guiding me forward. “C’mon, he’ll be happy to see you.” 

I should shrug Stu off of me, but it feels easier to just let him. Besides, there are other things to worry about. From the vagueness Stu’s been handling mentions of Billy with, I half expect him to be in a straight jacket or something. “He--he does know I’m here, right?” 

The only answer I get is Stu placing a hand on his bedroom door once we reach it. He releases me to push open it open. “Hey, feeling any better?” Billy doesn’t get a chance to reply before Stu continues, “Because I brought you a present.” 

Weird...and kind of objectifying, but in a weird way. It’s not so much the words, but the way he’s saying them. This is definitely an ambush. Stu pushes the door open all the way before I can really react. I still make a point of smacking his arm. “Don’t make it weird.” 

I turn my head towards Stu’s room. Billy is in there, sitting with his back against the headboard and he’s looking at me but there’s little recognition. It’s more like he’s seeing through me. I want to assume it’s part of some kind of side effect of being high, but I can’t quite get myself to dismiss it as something so casual.

Any fight directed at Stu evaporates into the air and morphs into this weird veil of tension. Not good or bad. Just heavy and full, bleeding through the room and into the hall where I’m still standing. 

“Hi,” it feels like an attempt at cutting through the harshness, “I heard you were feeling bad so I thought I’d come back and make you feel worse.” 

Billy’s eyebrows draw together slightly, like he’s considering how to react. He settles on a, “Yeah?” It feels smaller than the way he usually is. 

I swallow my instinctual reaction. “Yeah--things aren’t looking too good in Iraq and everyone’s getting too comfortable with nuclear bombs.” 

The corner of his mouth turns up into an almost smile. It’s not quite there, but the thawing of the icy layer behind his gaze is cracking. “Anything else?”

“I still think the Princess Diana divorce is kind of a bummer.” 

Stu sighs dramatically. “Of course you’re on her side.” 

“There is no other side, Charles is the worst.” 

Stu walks fully into his room and practically flops onto his bed. His head hits Billy’s calf and Billy throws him a dirty look before adjusting. “Charles is next in line for the throne. That entitles him to all the girls he wants. That’s just history.”

I wrinkle my nose and halfheartedly glare at him. “He’s also probably inbred.”

Billy sits up a little further, reaching for what I’m assuming is a joint. “Definitely inbred.”

The small vouch of support is strangely easing.

Stu tilts his head to look at me briefly. “You two deserve each other.”

“Don’t pout.” Maybe not my smartest joke, but it’s too easy to pass up on. 

He props his head up just to glare at me. “I can still kick you out.”

I roll my eyes and Billy wordlessly extends what he’s been smoking. Stu reaches for it absentmindedly and Billy moves his arm away. “You need to slow down.” 

Stu doesn’t protest, which has to be a byproduct of his easy high. I’m so distracted by that it takes a second for it to click. If Billy isn’t handing off the joint to Stu, he’s trying to give it to me...the person who’s going to be around their mom and a cop before the night’s over. 

“Can’t tonight.” I’m so going to get bullied for this, “My mom would know immediately, and then she’d kill all three of us.” 

Billy sits up a little more, not fully taking his hand back but relaxing it a little. Stu drops his head back down, accidentally landing on Billy’s leg. I suppress a laugh when Billy lazily shrugs Stu off. It doesn’t work, because Stu still glares at me as he curls into himself slightly. “You could stay over, sleep it off.”

Maybe Stu’s more high than I thought. I take a step forward, feeling awkward about the distance. “I don’t see how that helps the my mom killing us all thing.” 

“You could call her from my home phone, tell her you’re staying over at Sidney’s or Tay’s.” Stu doesn’t wait for my response before stretching out an arm in my direction. “Come here.” 

It feels a little bit like a trap, but at the same time, standing this close to the door is probably weirder than anything Stu’s going to try. I walk forward and sit down on the edge of his bed. Stu smiles lazily and adjusts so that his legs are on my lap. They’re long. He’s basically an arachnid. 

With Stu, a firm approach is usually best, but this seems harmless enough so I don’t kick him off of me. “You’re like a spider.”

He laugh-scoffs, stretching even further. “Like a daddy long legs.”

There’s a weird attempt at sultriness in his words. It’s so stupid I can’t hep the terrible laugh that comes out. “Shut up. You’re so gross.” Now I do want him off of me. He won’t move so I try dragging myself back a little. All that does is make me bump into Billy’s arm. “Sorry.” 

Dismissing my apologetic look with a short wave of the hand still holding the joint, Billy sits up even more, angling himself towards me. “You should be.” It’s sarcastic, but still oddly flat, like Billy’s putting work into being a part of the conversation.

Stu, clearly feeling forgotten, softly kicks his leg. “Your sobriety’s bringing old Billy Boy back down.” 

I lean back, ignoring the way my fingers brush against Billy’s. “I promise me being high would only depress him more.” 

“I like you high,” Billy muses flatly, “You get all jumpy.” 

I roll my eyes, trying to straighten to pull my hand back but Billy doesn’t let me get that far. His hand turns over and pulls his fingers between my own. It’s a casual enough attempt to pull me back into place, but his eyes are so quick to meet mine. There’s something almost nervous about the shift, and vaguely familiar. An uncertain, begrudging request for reassurance I’ve come to associate with people going through some sort of depressive episode. 

“That was one time,” I mumble, “And it was because you guys are assholes and didn’t tell me that it was extra strong.” 

Stu’s leg moves again, “It wasn’t extra strong, we just didn’t pace you.” 

“Either way--assholes.” 

Billy moves his thumb along my knuckles. “We’ll be nice this time.” He takes a deliberate hit and exhales the smoke in a way that lingers. I can feel the smell of it, a paranoid part of me thinking it’s already caught up in my hair and clothes and skin. Like my mom will just be able to tell already. Maybe it is already too late. 

And it’d upset her. She’s already worried enough about how I’m handling all the killer stuff, if she thinks I’m acting out and smoking she’ll probably freak. This also wouldn’t be the first time I did something like this and didn’t tell her...or the first time I stayed over at a friend’s house to sleep something off. 

It’s also objectively nice to be around them. Also, Billy’s whole slightly off thing is something I’ve definitely seen before. The familiarity finally clicks into place, a few memories of my mother from when I was younger. Bad ones, days in which things slipped through the cracks before my mom was diagnosed and started managing that part of herself.

“Even if you don’t smoke, you should call your mom...stay over.” Billy gets the words out stiffly, like some invisible force was trying to shove them back down his throat. “Keep me from being alone with that one.”

Stu lets out a sound that’s sounds a lot like a tired “fuck off”. The casual disapproval makes me smile.

Billy takes another, much shorter hit. I let myself observe the process. The way the smoke goes in, how he holds it in, and finally the way he forces it out. Billy wordlessly turns the joint around in a silent offering. I give in with an exhale and reach over. Billy doesn’t let me get that far, moving so that his fingers are almost to my mouth. I part my lips and let him hold the joint there as I inhale. He doesn’t give me long before taking it back. He runs his thumb along my knuckles. “Hold.” I struggle, but follow through. “Good. Now breathe.” 

I let it out with a slight cough.

“There ya go,” Stu mumbles, patiently dragging his leg up my thigh. “You’ll feel better.” I wish I had more experience with smoking outside of them. If I did, I’d have a reference point to tell me if Stu’s weed is actually extra strong or not. I’m sure what he gets is considered good shit, since he definitely has the money and tolerance. “You should call your mom before you get all giggly.” 

I openly frown. “I do not get ‘giggly’.” 

“Yeah, you do.” 

I’m not in an argumentative mood. Maybe it’s the atmosphere or the weed is already starting to cloud my judgement. I should call my mom, though. It hasn’t been that long since I left, which means she’s probably still out with Wells. It’ll be easier to just leave a message on the machine. She always checks when she gets home. 

Ever since the first incident, my mom keeps a cell phone on her that’s always on, but it’s still weird to both of us. I don’t have the number fully memorized yet, it’s written on a note held to the fridge by a magnet back home...a few blocks away. The cell phone isn’t exclusively emergency, but my mom doesn’t love portable technology. She thinks they’re tacky and breed rudeness.

I tap Stu’s leg, “Up.” 

Surprisingly enough, Stu listens, letting me go. I let go of Billy’s hand and reach for the extension on Stu’s nightstand. I quickly dial my number and leave a flat message. Staying over at Sid’s, have fun but not too much fun, love you and see you tomorrow. 

In a moment of straight forward association, I almost went with telling my mom I was staying at Tatum’s, but I have to talk to Dewey soon and my mom will probably be there and that felt like a potential loose end. 

Stu half snorts, “Love you and see you tomorrow, mom.” 

I shove Stu’s shoulder. “Shut up.” 

“Have fun but not too much fun,” Billy mumbles, a lot more subdued but just as teasing. 

Rolling my eyes, I move back to the edge of the bed where I was sitting before. “It’s an inside joke.” 

Stu leans forward and pinches my cheek. “That’s adorable.” 

The patronization doesn’t sit well and my eyelids feel heavier than they did a second ago. “I hate you guys.” 

“Clearly,” Stu breathes, reaching over and taking the joint from Billy. “Oh, Billy, forgot to tell you, Y/n’s supposed to be mad at us.” Billy tilts his head a little too far to one side like that’s news enough for him to be curious. “Tay told her about the Noel thing.” 

Billy feels imbalanced, head leaning one way and spine straight. His eyes harden over again. “Really?” He takes my hand again, this time a lot less softly. “Over that asshole?” I let him run his knuckles over my hand again, even though this time it feels a lot less soothing. “If none of your friends like a guy, that usually says something about the guy.” 

I’m sure there’s some kind of joke I could spin. Maybe about where he learned that one from. Get that from Cosmo? But the bordering on defensive look behind Billy’s eyes is overbearing and messing with my head. Stu is seriously in danger for bringing this up right now. 

“It’s not about the guy,” I manage, “It’s about...” All the points I had feel a lot less concrete under Billy’s scrutiny...or maybe it’s the weed. Or both. I swallow, dropping my gaze to my lap as I try to really think. Okay, it’s definitely both. “Timing and boundaries.” It feels fractured. “Like even if a guy totally sucks, you can’t go over my head about it.” 

Stu lets out a sigh, dropping his head onto one of his pillow’s. I glare openly. This is all his fault. Why bring it up now? Billy was just starting to act a little more like himself. “I don’t know what you see in him.” Ugh. It’s like he’s not even hearing me. “Especially with the way he talked about Casey.” 

That last part hits its intended goal. Stu’s staring at the ceiling, so I can’t see his expression, but he seems to take my silence as a win. I don’t know Noel as well as they do, but he did talk about Casey at that party and it wasn’t exactly kind. 

I squeeze what I can grab of the comforter like that will tether me here. It half works but it does nothing to ease the tightening in my chest. The memories mix uneasily with the start of my high. The dip of panic doesn’t suit the way my body wants to feel and it all blends together in a way that leaves me on edge and a little nauseous. 

There’s the sound of someone moving, but I barely pick up on it. Billy smacks the side of Stu’s head. “Too much, asshole.”

Stu throws Billy an offended look before craning his neck to look at me. I must look as off as I feel, because Stu does sit up. “Shit,” he pushes himself back, “Sorry. I didn’t think--” 

“You never think.” The words are pointed, but not completely angry. If I was feeling any better, I would’ve laughed. He slowly reaches forward and I don’t stop him from prying my fingers away from the sheets. “Your trip going a little bad?” I nod. “Don’t think about it.” Easier said than done. “You could end up like Stu the one time he smoked too much while watching one of those old horror movies where the special effects are basically held up by a string.” 

That cracks at the panic a little. “What did he do?” 

“Convinced himself that it was real and we were the ones that were off.” 

I almost laugh. “Actually?” 

“Shut up,” Stu sighs, a little bitter but not actually mad. 

Billy ignores him, “Actually.” He turns my hand over carefully before running his fingers over the thin scar on my palm and up my wrist. “So you’re already doing better than him.”

For a second, I let myself study Billy. The wisps of hair falling forward, the slight pinch between his eyebrows, his focused expression. Billy almost always holds himself with a certain tenseness. Whether that’s force of habit or natural to him, I’m not sure. Maybe that’s why he gets along so well with Stu. They balance each other. 

“Are you...” I don’t know where I’m going with this. “Are you feeling any better?” 

His expression briefly clouds, pulling into something much more blank. He drops his gaze and for a second I feel like I might need to take it back. “Yeah--yeah, don’t worry.” Again, easier said than done. Billy clears his throat almost immediately after, like that will erase the fact that he actually responded. 

“Good.” It doesn’t sound overly positive, but he hasn’t convinced me. “I’ve missed you, a little.” That feels a lot more real.

Billy angles his head downwards, almost smiling. “Only a little?” 

“It’s not like you haven’t been around at all.” He traces an invisible line up my wrist. “Maybe more than a little, anyway.” 

“Aw,” Stu hums, his hand finding a place on my back. He leans forward and rests his head on my shoulder. “You two are adorable.” I’m not really given a chance to answer before Stu lets out a sigh that I feel against my neck, “Don’t be mad.” 

Honestly, I’m not feeling any anger. I’m a little annoyed at him and frustrated that I’m still not normal. That’s all there is. It’s too tiring to turn into anger. “’M not mad,” it feels like a confession, “A little annoyed at you, but not more than usual.” 

He breathes a sarcastic, “Haha” into my shoulder. 

With no warning, I start to unweave myself from them. I think they’re too confused to ask until I’m actually standing. 

“Where are you going, angel?” 

I don’t really know, so I can’t really answer. Stu’s room isn’t super familiar. I’ve been in here a couple times, most of them brief. I take a second to really take in the space. A lot of posters, the ones that aren’t directly bloody movie posters feature practically naked women and some combine the two. It fits him.

“Getting a feel,” I decide on, “You can tell a lot about a person based on their room.” 

Stu moves to the edge of his bed, grinning at my focus. “Really?” 

I move to pull open the drawer of his nightstand. “Mhm.” 

“You’re not going to like anything you find in there.” He places a hand on the front of drawer but doesn’t stop me. 

It takes me a second too long to realize what he’s getting at. By then, I’ve already taken in a cover of a magazine with a model that’s wearing even less than the girls on the posters, a box of condoms, a surprisingly neatly stacked set of polaroids, an old deck of cards, and a few random odds and ends all crammed in there. 

My nose wrinkles, but I’m too distracted by the polaroids to make fun of him. I can only see the top one, but it’s innocent enough, an accidental snapshot that sort of looks like a blurry person on a couch.  

“Polaroids?” I pick them out of the drawer and flip to the next one. A small lump that looks like a cat in Stu’s living room. Weird, I’ve never seen one in his house and he’s never mentioned having a pet. Maybe these are old pictures. Before I can snoop any further, Stu pulls the stack of photos away from me. “You’re no fun.” 

He rolls his eyes as he moves the first photo back into place. “You’re nosy.” I don’t say anything because I’m not so high that I’m clueless. This is a little weird of me, but I can’t help the impulse. “What if the next picture had been me naked?” 

“You take naked pictures of yourself and keep them in your nightstand?” 

Stu intentionally ignores my laughter. “You don’t need pictures for that, baby, you can see the real thing.” 

My laughter picks up again. “Yeah? Let’s go right now.” 

At that, Stu does crack a bit of a smile. “Let’s make Billy strip first.” 

“Deal,” I mumble through another laugh. 

Billy drops his head onto a pillow, “Fuck off.” 

I turn my attention back to the card deck and dig them out with my nail. “Any naked pictures hidden in here or am I good?” 

“No promises.” With that as my warning, I begin to shuffle the cards absentmindedly. “Why? You wanna play strip poker?” 

Ignoring him, I move back to my previous position on the edge of the bed. “Think I’m good.” 

I drag the nail of my thumb along the edge of the cards and focus on the sound of them. Billy nudges my knee with his. I look up as he extends his arm, silently asking for the cards. I hand them over without thinking much about it. Billy begins to actually shuffle in a way that would fit Vegas. 

He has to notice my mesmerized stare, but he says nothing. “Do you actually know how to play anything?”

My mom briefly worked at a casino when I was in the first grade and she’d have to bring me in sometimes, but I retained nothing. “Not really.” 

That starts something. A process that should have been short and easy. Billy trying to explain different versions of poker and Stu trying to trick me, but only sometimes so I couldn’t know to for sure not trust him. It’s a mess of laughter and a refreshing lack of angst. Every once in awhile, someone insists that a loser has to take a drag from a joint, so everyone’s progressively getting worse. I’m pretty sure Stu’s cheating somehow, but I have no proof and I’m too out of it to get any. 

It’s so lighthearted and genuinely fun that I’m fighting against the heaviness of my eyelids. It can’t be that late, but I’m already starting to feel drowsy. I’ve finally been given good cards, so I really need to get it together. “I won.”  

Stu scoffs, eyebrows drawing together as he eyes the cards I just set down. “No--that’s not--” 

“I won,” a yawn cuts my sentence in half, “Don’t be a loser about it.” 

Stu picks up all the cards, ignoring my protests. He’s already mixed me up a couple of times. “I can let you have this one, because you’re--” 

“Because you have to.” 

Billy turns his ankle, tapping his foot against my leg. “Don’t be mean about it.” 

That was nowhere near mean. “Dramatic, both of you.” 

Stu’s mouth falls open in a mock gasp as he continues to gather cards. I don’t know what he’s doing until he drops them all back into his drawer and shuts it. He then walks towards his dresser, pulls out a T-shirt, and tosses it in my direction. “After all I’ve done for you.” 

I pick up the T-shirt and fold it onto my lap but make no move to go to the bathroom to change. “I don’t want to go to sleep.” 

“You’re half asleep already.” Billy ignores the dirty look I give him. “Just change in case you fall asleep.” 

Stupid voice of reason. I scratch the back of my wrist and decide to give in. If for no other reason than the fact that Stu’s shirt is almost weirdly soft. Rich people must have access to different kinds of fabric. I reluctantly get up and find Stu’s bathroom.

I change quickly and take a second to make sure Stu gave me a long enough T-shirt. Thankfully, he did, so I don’t have to feel extra awkward about anything. I fold my clothes and bring them back with me. 

“Looks nice on you, babe.” 

Drowsiness hits harder without any distractions. I blink, unsure on how to respond. Stu’s always a flirt with everyone, but it feels a little weird to react to it while standing in his room at night in one of his T-shirts. “It’s the rich guy cotton.”

The corner of his mouth turns up. “And those legs.” 

“Shut up.” 

Billy turns onto his side, fluffing his pillow. “Go to sleep before he gets worse.” 

“Yeah.” The two of them look comfortable, all settled. “I’ll crash on the couch.” 

Stu props his head up on an elbow. “You don’t wanna do that. Living room’s creepy at night and you’ve smoked too much. You’ll get scared.” 

“I’m not 12.” 

“It’s safer here, you wouldn’t be alone if something happened.” 

Ugh, Stu can never resist trying to get me paranoid. “Nothing’s going to happen.” That’s what I thought when I was at Casey’s. 

“Just get in bed,” Billy mumbles, half asleep, “I know how this argument goes with the two of you.” When I don’t move, Billy sighs, “If I fall asleep and you get freaked out, I’m not helping.” 

Stu lays back down, “He means it. He’s an asshole when he’s tired.” He pauses for so long, I briefly think he might have fallen asleep. “...’S not a big deal.” 

True. It wouldn’t even be the first time we all fell asleep in the same bed. And Billy’s slept over in my room enough times for that to barely phase me. “Yeah.” 

I walk over towards the bed. “Drink water,” Billy mumbles the words with his eyes still shut. I look over at the nightstand and there’s a glass there that wasn’t there before. I drink a few long sips until Stu sits up to steal the glass from me. 

Rude. “Give me--” 

He downs the rest of it in a few gulps, “Go to bed.” 

I roll my eyes, but unfortunately do listen. Stu pushes me towards the middle, ignoring my surprised huff. I smack his arm before covering myself with his bed sheets. I barely get to reflect on how much of an asshole move that was before I fall asleep. 

----

A/n fun fact, there’s a moment in here where Y/n came superrr close to accidentally finding out who Ghostface is :) 

Taglist: @cole22ann @womenarecannibals @fand0mskullfa1ry @princessleah129 @i-amnotokaywiththis @fvcking-gxddess @suckmyass-things @im-better-than-your-newborn @michibuni @bigenargy @marli-lavellan @mushy-mushroom04 @neenieweenie @lone-ray @the-ruler-of-death @andthevillainshallrises @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @dixbolik-bby @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth @peachycupotea @my5tica1ien @agustdeeyaa @astrial @3ll0kittylvr420 @zoleea-exultant @slaypussypop-21 @aonungs-tsahik @finnydraws @slytherhoes @vxarak @xofeeeeelsxo @thewayiknowyou @yourslashersfinalgirl @winterridinghood @maggieleighc 

[ushouldwatchhaikyuu]

Haikyu!! dumpster battle ramble akdbsjsbdd

warning for slight spoilers?? (i mention scenes but i dont say anything about who won or stuff like that lmfao) and also caps lock lmfao

aight. HINATA BEING TERRIFIED THAT KAGEYAMA WAS GONNA STOP SETTING FOR HIM. JUST LIKE HE SAID WHEN THEY FIRST MET. CAUSE HINATA WASN'T BEING NECESSARY TO WIN. AND HINATA TRYING SO HARD AND BEING NOT ONLY FRUSTRATED THAT IT WASN'T ENOUGH, BUT ALSO SCARED THAT IF KAGEYAMA SAW HE WASN'T USEFUL. HE'D LOSE INTEREST IN HIM AND STOP SETTING FOR HIM. nekoma cutting off Hinata's wings not only to stop him from flying, but to make kageyama stop helping him fly.

and kageyama sees that. realizes that hinata isn't being useful to him or the team. AND HE FINDS A WAY TO SET FOR HIM ANYWAY.

he sees Hinata can't get up on his own and everything is telling him to drop him- the most reasonable & rational thing would be to stop setting for him. and y'know what kageyama does? HE TELLS HIM "GO AHEAD, FLY"

HE SETS FOR HIM ANYWAY and finds a way to make him fly even higher. WHICH IS SO DKSBSKSJSJSKS IDEK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT. like not only does that tell hinata that no matter how much people try to stop him, kageyama will help him fly anyway- but it also speaks about kageyama A LOT. cause there wasn't a strategic reason to keep trying to use hinata- in fact, he could've used nekoma's focus on him on their favor and instead set for other players.

BUT NO, he chose to keep setting for hinata. because at that point it wasn't just about winning, for kageyama. yknow how important is that? kageyama, who only ever cared about winning, thought setting for hinata was more important to him than winning.

IF THAT DOESNT SAY A LOT ABOUT HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IDK WHAT WOULD

also??? kenma feeling like shit about doing that to hinata?? EVEN THOUGH HE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA. kenhina bffs they're so adorable wtf.

but then again the "we're just friends scene"??? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???? DKSBSJSK it made me feel stuff lmfao such a good way to portray their friendship & rivalry

also!!! kuroo, bokuto & tsukki crumbs!!! i love their friendship sm its so cool that they had their moments in the movie. bokuto was adorable sksnsjsjsj

the animation was also so cool tbh, specially that one scene of hinata and kenma staring at each other. yknow the one.

this one lmfao

ALSO everyone's talked about the scene where kenma keeps hinata in a birdcage but i still gotta mention it cause ITS SO COOL WTF

and everyone also said it but like. literally a kuroken movie (/p or /r). i loved how they showed that development of kenma's love for volleyball and how hinata felt so proud and happy and accomplished when kenma said their match had been so fun fksbdjdjdjdj HE HAD THE PERFECT REACTION.

also kuroo's laugh??? BEAUTIFUL and also a very good reaction lmfao.

yeah those r my main thoughts. overall a very good movie, perhaps the pacing could've been a bit more intense/nerve-wrecking for my liking? like i wasnt so "in it" as i was with many matches in the anime. still, i think it had a bit more of a focus on relationships and background stories and character development, specially through flashbacks, symbolism & but impactful quotes, so it's still chefs kiss. very much recommend watching it if u haven't.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Re:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeWp68rB/

Like her view on things. Rather balanced. She suggest L is resentful or heartbroken a bit towards N, that is why the lack of interaction with her SM? Sounds like in sync with your theory about waiting for the green light?

I agree with this anon and much of the video. A lot of people are saying that L may be currently limiting his sm presence due to negative fan backlash “no matter what he does”. I can see how this may come to mind, but if this was the case then why have a public non-professional sm presence at all? If he is fed up, then just stop all-together. Use his private account for friends and family, and keep it purely professional on his public IG. That's not what's happening rn, as he continues to like A's posts on his public and has done the minimum for boosting professional content. So the question is why? Promoting professional aspects of his life would take the focus away from his private life, but he hasn’t done that. I’m sure his team would have been advising him to do this particularly when the iron was hot, days and weeks following the Premiere?

Thing is, he has limited liking his friends/loved-ones posts (e.g., R) on his public IG since earlier this year. So he is limiting public non-professional displays in some aspects. But why not with A? And why has he reduced his level of public interaction with N, who is very much a current and future professional connection, and will add so much value to his public image? His behaviour is in direct opposition to good PR outcomes. I’m still trying to figure out why, as it doesn’t seem to be based in logical, rational thought. Which leads me to believe that it could be emotion-based. When we’re behaving at the mercy of our emotions, it often leads us to make poor or rash decisions. So is there high emotionality when it comes to N? Is there ‘heartbreak’ or confusion or resentment coming from either side? If feelings are purely platonic and uncomplicated, then what’s stopping him from accentuating that ‘professional’ relationship as he did previously, for his own benefit? Is there something there he doesn’t want to face?

Is the public association (likes) with A something that was arranged and agreed upon? It’s something that appears important for their relationship, but oddly not necessary for his important long-term friendships? I tend to think that it must be something that’s important to her, that she’s vocalised, because his other loved-ones aren’t getting that level of attention on a public stage (apart from R on some occasions). Is he in love with A and being guided by those emotions? If so, why are all other public behaviours towards her so distant and non-committal? Especially given that A seems to desperately want their relationship to be publicly known? It doesn’t add up. Does he want to protect her and keep their relationship ‘private’ given past experiences with J? Well, seems unlikely because the cat was out the bag very early on and not much damage control has been done to boost, save or protect her image. Plus, he’s still liking her posts, so still highlighting the association on the public stage and keeping it open to negative feedback. Are they broken up and he is liking her posts out of a sense of duty, guilt, or compassion? This would be consistent with his past behaviour with exes. It may also explain his recent ‘walk down memory lane’ unliking of exes posts.

There are lots of questions, but I tend to think that L is likely experiencing a very emotional time in his life (whatever the situation might be). I hope it will be a moment of reflection for him that will lead to better days ahead.

no notes

[crushedsweets]

sucker, sucker hear me out. toby nat and nina baking together. or making breakfast perhaps. nina's decent, nat's good, and toby's okay at it, but putting the three of them in the kitchen together has NO good outcome. somebody's leaving covered in flour and the kitchen will be in absolute disarray once they're done.

AAGGHHHHHHHHH ANONNNNN THEYRE SUCH A CUTE TRIO IM IN LOVE WITH THEM SM . Nina is always trying to get them to do fun group activities and even if they’re all competent at it on their own it absolutely goes poorly everytime. They’re just such delightful guys .

I love thinking abt their dynamic (especially with Intentional Exclusion of Jeff) LOL . Toby grew up with only 2 women in his life and like… no other positive figure anywhere… so ik he would be fond and protective . Sighs. I wouldn’t call him a gentleman by any means but him opening the door for nat and Nina and then slamming it right before Jeff walks in … chivalry isn’t dead

Nat grew up with very little friends and when she had some, they were only boys so I could see her having a really like… healing friendship with Nina. Nina would prob annoy her but idgaf they hold hands and Nina does nats makeup (nat is horrified at the size of the eyeliner)

I hc Nina does have her own little circle of friends outside of the creeps too, completely normal humans who just kinda smoke a lot of weed and go to raves and stuff. And I could imagine her trying to convince Toby and Nat to meet them but they r so horribly against it bc OBVIOUSLY . Nat just says smth abt “why would I want to be surrounded by several yous” 💔

[natashasbitxh]

I have to say it. I started my Shayne journey this week and honestly not mad at all. I just u know, love to see sometimes how Shayne will be looking at chance like he's trying to understand something in him, that he doesn't even realize. Always when chance isn't looking obviously, the other part to me is how gentle the interactions are, sometimes I feel like Shayne is afraid of Chance in a good way I think. Then when they laugh at the same joke, it's rare but curious. I sense like they could be really good friends, but there's something that doesn't let them be close in that way. Maybe they're not trying to be friends, maybe they will always see the other as someone dar away even though they actually have a lot of things to relate. The new video with the fanfic really highlights for me that strange aura around them, like a wall they're too afraid to be friendly, Shayne seemed nervous and I don't understand why, nothing bad really happens and he doesn't like the eye contact too much hahahaha. Those two are a funny little duo, like they would be the kind of friendship that act like they have a secret and wouldn't tell anybody and inside jokes. So I'm saying this to you now, thank you for sharing your love for this duo, they deserve more, even if it's only shipping, it works for me, I don't mind. Another thing is, I would love to see more banter between them in the next videos hahahaha. Chance did a great job in the fanfic, he really is a theater kid. I wonder if he sense Shayne nervousness sometimes or not. Please share you thoughts on them too!!! I would totally read just an essay of them, explaining why you like this dynamic if you ever wanted to write it

Well first off, welcome to shaynse nation! Was gonna say that I hope ur enjoying ur journey but it seems u r!

(Putting more under the cut because this got rlly long!)

Adding on, I also find that Chanse does the same with Shayne! Both of them watch eachother and seem to REALLY be listening. I think Shayne wants to impress Chanse, not always but often he'll make a joke and look over to Chanse for his reaction.

And I understand what u mean sm! I could deffo feel some nervousness from Shayne, once again I've seen other ppl say it but it is so introvert x extrovert!

and honestly even without shipping, I think their dynamic and friendship is so fun and entertaining! They really are so funny together!

I honestly tried to go back and see what video made me think of shaynse, but I honestly can't remember at all!

Honestly, I think I like this ship just cause its so interesting and like you said, gentle? There's this sort of softness that I always associate with shaynse, and even any angst I imagine to be the same if that makes sense. I've said it before, but they really do give me the vibes of evermore (by Taylor Swift), Cigarettes After Sex, Lana Del Rey and maybe even Mitski. Also just throwing this in but I've noticed he's started to give Shayne the "Angela..." treatment, "Shayne..." and I think that shows a development in at least friendship. Like taking out any romance, I think you really can notice how they've gotten closer in videos and have great chemistry. I've also noticed in videos recently that they mirror each other a lot or even finish each other's sentences to an extent and I think that's rlly sweet! I've mentioned this before but Chanse often twirls his hair whilst he's listening or talking to Shayne, just an observation! I've noticed he does this kinda thing (not saying it's just limited to Shayne) where he responds to Shayne with this far off look in his eyes as he twirls his hair. Honestly that may very well not be a shaynse moment and is probably Chanse just zoning out, and quite frankly he's so real for that I relate to that so hard. And I'm sorry but my shipping self...the way Chanse looks at Shayne makes me insane sometimes!! Even when neither of them are talking!! And then when Shayne is talking, the eye contact from Chanse is so FIERCE. I've said before that the formula is that Chanse gazes at Shayne and Shayne cries at Chanse's jokes...and honestly now both things apply to both of them! Shayne also very much gives the vibe that he's nervous to compliment Chanse to his face but absolutely gushes abt him to other ppl (this thought coming from Shayne bringing up Chanse AS MUCH AS HE CAN).

Sorry, this became sooo unorganised but I kinda just jotted down all my shaynse feelings/ideas! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I found it so fun to read and so fun to reply!! Don't be afraid to do it again! (And that goes to everybody!)

Shaynse is a niche ship and I get that not everybody is gonna like it, but I do rlly appreciate shaynse nation and smoshblr in general!

[thesingingrevolution]

the way winwin carefully scheduled his year around the wayv comeback but sm suddenly switched the comeback dates up on him and he ended up not being able to participate ... and THEN he cant make it to the versache event cus he has to talk all of this out w the company.

yunquis r so strong... i would not be able to deal fr. how do u do it???

first of all thanks for your message 🙇🏻‍♀️💌

personally, i felt so upset and disappointed when the news broke :( it was bad enough it was gonna be an ot5 comeback, but when it was revealed it was because sm changed their pre planned schedule it made me angry. i understand that winwin has other important activities and if it was his own choice to sit this one out, i would have respected his decision and happily supported the other five members. but the fact that he went out of his way to ensure his schedule would align and they couldn’t even respect that.. it made me really sad. as far as we know, there is no reason this comeback had to me moved up. they just did it. and i’ve never seen anything like it, how can a company not respect their artist in this incredibly basic way? it’s heartbreaking.

i wish winwin stays in nct because i truly love him and i love his friendships in the group and his contributions etc etc but stuff like this makes me wish more and more than he only does what he needs to do for his career and happiness, regardless of how we feel. these transgressions are too serious in my opinion, to the point that when wayv were promoting on my youth during the last few months of 2023 as a proper group it almost felt like a fever dream. a full group promoting a comeback together should not be a rare occurrence. it’s so so so sad and wayv as a whole deserve so much better. the fact that i felt absolutely no excitement over this cb and haven’t even looked at concept pics or listened to any songs says so much. i will eventually, but it hurts right now :( i will need some time to get over this. not the fault of any of the members, of course!!! will always love and wish then the best.

moreover i hate that this feeds into the idea that winwin doesn’t care about his group. it’s such a common sentiment in the (toxic/misinformed/immature) parts of the fandom. if anything, winwin’s actions and deliberate desire to partake in the cb tells us the EXACT OPPOSITE. if he didn’t care, he clearly wouldn’t have gone through the trouble. like you’ve said, it’s causing more issues for him. so why would he do it if he didn’t care? i’m glad some clarifying posts went semi viral, and there was a decent amount of outrage. rightfully so.

as for how i do it….. my friend,, it’s not easy. to be honest, i have had periods where it wasn’t good for me (last summer, for example, i had so much free time to dedicate to kpop and it started affecting my mental health when i saw my fav neglected and disrespected all the time). thankfully i am better now and have been for a long time, it’s really embarrassing to admit kpop can mess one up like that lol but i hope people can be honest about how they feel since it’s very real in my experience. i try not too think about it too much and keep busy with other things, i took a huge step back from stan twitter and i only follow a few yunqi accs who post updates/positivity and don’t engage in fanwars and spread aggression across the internet. as for his company, it’s a bit more complicated. i feel as though his potential has never been fully realized, which is sad for a seasoned idol so many years into his career. but it also gives him so much space to grow, every now and then i am so surprised by his incredible work in other areas, because he was held back so much. i am so glad there are people who recognize his potential <3

i also try to remember that even though i love nct and its a huge part of my life, it’s just music and no matter what happens things will be alright. we will always have the good times and memories and that makes me feel better when i get upset. lastly, i learned to primarily focus on my own friends and my own thoughts. just last night, i told a friend i love winwin the most and she said she likes him and that he suits me as a bias. all my irl kpop stan friends have been nothing but supportive and sweet. and in my own head, winwin is the best, i dont have to think about his company and random people online to hold that opinion, and at the end of the day my thoughts are the only ones that really matter when it comes to this.

i’m sorry this is so long hahahha, but hopefully it explains a little about how i feel about all this!! once again thank you for your message 💖

[dirtyvulture]

😎So time for clarification and a bit of stating my case on things and maybe more thoughts later on. This is covering both Darkest Knight Au and Sergeant Beef Au .

So there are many stories and thoughts on Esther Hudson it’s because she was the first ( A bit turned into a character and then turned into a whole ass family line of people who look after Wolvie) Hudson. That and we haven’t talked about ANY OTHER Hudson or made any other Hudson a character. I have stated that R definitely Loved ( still does) Esther but the type of love was totally up to you Vulture ( platonic, romantic- maybe a one sided love, or at least a believed one sided love. ) . If they were ✨ together ✨at some point ( Be it a relationship and her husband was a beard . Be it a friends with benefits situation . Esther also could have been Bi / another flavor of the Rainbow 🌈) it wasn’t a lustful situation because Esther would have made sure to tell and show that she fully appreciated and cared for Wolvie beyond the physical and beyond R’s skills on the mattress. Unlike all the others that looked at R after the mutation hit and she got buff and R just gave into it . It would have been a truly loving act and none of them sneaking out afterwards ( R couldn’t always say the same with the others towards her ) nor it would’ve been just a using thing ( again R couldn’t always say the same with others). Esther always let R cuddle afterwards because she knew that R needed that , Esther stayed until she was truly overheating and made sure R was ✨taken care of ✨( during and afterwards) . But again if wither or not it was a fully loving platonic relationship or it was a bit more ( full romantic relationship or friendship with benefits) it is all up to you vulture.

If R had been with any of the Hudsons it would have been with Esther because it would have just felt weird and it also would have felt a little like a betrayal to Esther for R ( regardless if R and Esther hooked up or not ) .

Now for how Sergeant Beef was able to lift a full load of snow as a String Bean kid . I am 5’3 and 1/2 feet tall ( 5’4 on a good day) and decently strong and that is me as in adult. Beef was a String Bean as a kid yes but I can say from experience that yes it could be done but that doesn’t mean that it is always easy or without struggle. String Bean kid beef did it with struggles ( and if they were like me when I got a bit older ALOT of swearing ) and determination and of course a bit of help with their sister ( like I did until I was strong enough to do it solo, and also when my sister turned into a moody teenager and just left me alone with the shoving) .

Now to make my cases . I believe or see Wolverine R as a top because it fits with her character. She is a very giving and loving person in general but she also has very low self esteem and doesn’t believe that she deserves good things ( she gives but doesn’t really receives) so even if she wanted to bottom or receive she doesn’t believe she deserves that( she is a switch or both a bottom and top deep down at heart but won’t let she self have it or admit it). After she gets the metal in her bones it was a adjustment and she wasn’t with anybody for a good long while but eventually she was able to be very careful and comfortable being with somebody and not accidentally crushing the person R is with.

I also said what I did because Vulture you said so you’re self that R and Nat shared a bed while on the run . And during that time they had shoddy accommodations and probably only one really really shitty small twin size bed. Nat would have argued with R about R sleeping on the floor, couch, tub , chair or whatever else and R got to a point where she didn’t want to deal with it and just wanted Nat to go to sleep. Also it was super cold outside and I highly doubt that the places they were staying were super great at heating and were super comfortable and warm with the cold outside. So Nat arguing with R not to sleep on whatever that will fuck up her back , the small shitty bed and probably really really shitty heating you get Nat and R being really close together and you get R being a personal heater for Natasha Romanoff. Now if R cuddled Nat close because it was really cold and Nat was freezing or if it is just the heat radiating from R had R being a personal heater when she was laying close to Nat in the small twin size bed ( but Nat TOTALLY didn’t want to have R holding her close AT ALL * cough she did cough * ) then at is up to you. But no R didn’t sleep those nights , she stayed awake either holding Nat or staring up at the ceiling listening to Nat’s breathing and heart beating, a reminder that Nat is here with her and that Nat is alive . Like you and I have stated R would be too scared of going to sleep, having a nightmare and then hurting Nat or just hurting Nat in general in R’s sleep. Hopefully I made a good enough case on both accounts but I will leave that up to you to decide.

I do have to say ….. I didn’t think about how the metal in R’s bones making her uncomfortable or an “ undesirable personal heater” to cuddle with because it is “ like laying on a rock. I would think you would just feel the skin, muscles and fat of the body while laying on or hugging R but feel the mental when you’re really squeezing the body or hitting her ( as seen with the cage fight in the movie version of Wolverine, with the metal clinking sound included . Because in all the movies and comics - I am not familiar with the comics- it has never been mentioned that Wolverine is uncomfortable to cuddle with or lay on by any of Wolverine’s lady friends) . But if it does then R takes that as yet ANOTHER THING she is good for nothing about. A another little thing about R is like being a Switch at heart, R also deep down wants to be the little spoon in cuddles at times ( not all the time , she does enjoy being the big spoon but sometimes she does secretly want to be the little one). Just wanting to have that feeling of being loved, appreciated and even protected a bit . But again R doesn’t think she deserves it and would never admit to it.

On the final thoughts of this post. I love the thought of both The Darkest Knight Au and The sergeant beef au.

I think that Kate and Yelena are childhood friends and that Yelena calls Kate “ Little Bird , My Little Bird and Little Hawk( Little Hawkeye is Kate’s Air Force call sign , after “ Hawkeye” Clint Barton whom is Kate’s childhood hero now mentor in the Air Force. He is also Nat’s good friend even though Nat is Army) in Russian. Kate has no idea what those words mean when Yelena calls her them. I also think that Yelena may or may not have a thing for Kate as well as you Vulture mentioned that Kate may or may not have a thing for Yelena.

I am imagining Nat just walking and exploring the school and all a sudden she hears a roar of “ Natalia!!!!!” And her heart absolutely stops immediately because she never told ANYONE her brith name and R only hear it once from when the RR Soldiers were taunting her . She turns and sees R standing there and at the look of horror on her face we quickly rush to say “ I am sooo sorry for startling you ……. I was thinking about the name of a girl I once knew because a random memory popped into my head and I couldn’t remember her name and it was driving me crazy. I suddenly finally remembered her name and I was thinking really loudly out loud .” * Que the most sheepish smile Nat has never seen and didn’t think that she would ever see on R’s face. And one that she DOESN’T find to be the cutest thing ever * cough she does cough * . R was thinking of the name of the girl who originally own the toothpick pocket knife that Nat stole. R wasn’t thinking of Nat and doesn’t know or realize that Nat’s brith name is actually Natalia.

I was so excited to hear your thoughts from your last asks, especially since I bothered you with questions, but you came and delivered!

I like to think that Esther was the first woman Wolvie!R had feelings for (and especially back in that time, it was extremely frowned upon so R just had to hide and admire Esther from afar). And maybe Esther returned the feelings, maybe not (we'll let that be lost to history) but her interactions clearly left an impression on R, which is why the Hudson family are the only ones R consistently trusts throughout her life.

Sergeant Beef has a lot of determination. I'm pretty sure that's what got them this far and one of the many qualities that caught Nat's eye. :)

I loved your analysis of R being a top lol. All I can say is as I write the next part(s), you are not incorrect. 😉

Not R insisting on sleeping in the bathtub while Nat gets the whole bed to herself. 😭 But you're right, R definitely just laid in bed with Nat to make her feel better but could hardly sleep due to the fear of accidentally hurting her. Excellent points on both accounts, well done anon.

I can just picture Nat randomly squeezing R's arms or legs like "Hmm, this doesn't feel right" before she remembers R isn't quite like other humans. I also think R feels like there's no one out there who could ever protect her, physically or emotionally, so she's just resigned to being unloved for the rest of her existence. 🥺 (But this is not true, because a certain redhead has a lot of feelings for her. (and it's not Jean lol))

Aw, I love the inspiration of Little Hawk. 🥰

Also, I'm not even sure if R was back to consciousness yet when the Red Room soldiers called Nat by her real name, so we'll go with the other story. :)

Thanks for stopping by as always! I always look forward to hearing from you!

[ashpkat]

what r ur thoughts on jasper x tamara? <3

hjdkdndnd i love it sm

they’ve known eachother since childhood and i’ve always pictured it starting out as a one-sided romance on jaspers side but very slowly tamara realizes she likes jasper like that. and their friendship flows nicely into their relationship . it’s almost a seamless transition it’s so cute

ppl always forget how good of friends jasper and tamara are and how long they’ve known eachother, jaspers first line was literally “tamara” like omg🤭🤭 and the whole thing in tcg where tamara convinces jasper to not run off during their mission

i just love them smmm

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning catmom!! hope you received enough love yesterday even without my love letter. get all my freezy hugs now! 'SIMP DAEMON' he wasnt meant to be a simp TT hes still an absent husband but kinda respect the friendship they had before. hes not really interested in romantic relationships w/her. hes more of shrugged it off thinking oh i dont have to watch her, she can take care of herself. 'he wants reader to be a housewife?' first of all he doesnt want her as a wife💀 its more of a medival social construction? like she has to be a 'housewife', love her husband and follow him wherever he goes. he just doesnt hate her? hes learnt to coexist but hasnt learnt to live as a married couple. he just kinda sees her as a companion? shes here. not as a wife and not even as a friend. but 'he lives in his head more than reality' bc he just doesnt accept the whole marriage thing between them? he doesnt even see it, probably forget abt it frequently. all he knows abt his wife is the things she used to be in their childhood. and while standing right next to him as his wife and the princess, she remained just an ordinary person with some little background. and now when everyone says he shouldve protect his wife hes like OH so.. you say.. its a woman and like MY woman? wtf? 'id love it if you wrote it' 💀💀💀 1) not before the summer at least, 2) idk if i survive that far💀 sorry i didnt make it clear enough. hope you still like it at least?. its ok well see. 'im not that dumb' youre not dumb at all😡 dont ever think this of yourself. 'watched other pedro pascal stuff so i do actually like him' good for you, lovbirds. 'im just a very hungry person i love eating' dfihfih ok bon appetit ig. 'i dont mind listening to songs in another language' ok SO. there it is. ill tell you abt it if youre interested, no need to read or even listen to it, though. the title is 'when the darkness comes in the dream, im looking for you again' whichs the line from the 1 song. 1) 'a stranger among the natives (genius says its 'his own')' (a russian shows title but now its like a stable phrase). 2) 'suicide of my faith'. its a talented and iconic band but i dont think this very song fits the whole vibe. 3) 'burn burn burn'. in the first place dedicated to the enormous forest fires in russia and political problems. 4) 'take me away'. my absolutely fav. her songs and voice are just soso fascinating. the icon. 5) 'monster'. sounds manipulative and evil and is sang on behalf of the very monster. 6) 'sun'. the translation. its spring in the 1 paragraph but ok. 7) 'whoever caused you pain will be dead' 8) 'demons'. genius has translations now? anyway if youre interested. 9) 'the streets were waiting'. dont like its tempo(?) 10) 'joan of arc'. actually made me snort. the chorous sounds like a pick up line TT i used to love this singer sm in 2018 11) barking through a 'muzzle'. about saying the truth no matter what. 12) 'notlove'. 'what we had was not love but the abuse. your feelings are colder than the weather in Russia. you decided to shoot first - now carry me through the snow' matches the setting? 13) 'evil'. band's pretty good lyrics. 14) 'wont get better'. hate it💀 JFOG its a lot. idk why and if you ever wanted to get this info but... anyway... hope its at least a little bit interesting. 'maybe not a lot of russians watch the show?' NO THEY JUST STUPID 'a write can get away with foreign endearments' ofc they can, its cute, i appreciate the efforts. but personally💀 good for us. were just too good for this shit. 'making me happy knowing they made masc names fem' why???? 'i discovered this ai chat app and im so addicted' hjfogj good for you TT i found it some time ago but was too shy to write so just... left it... but if it makes you happy then why not? ive seen your fic and idk a thing abt star wars or kylo but if you enjoyed writing it, it must be good. hope you find your inspiration, peace, power to finish midterms and all. btw, how r midterms? how do u feel? thanks for reading this rant💀 hope youve eaten. dont forget to drink water. take care! love u<з

HELLO BABY GIRL I WAS MEANT TO REPLY YESTERDAY BUT I KEPT FORGETTING REPLYING IN MY HEAD DOES NOT COUNT ALSFHALSHF'AHFAS

i got too lazy to type it out and im sowwy

good morning catmom!! hope you received enough love yesterday even without my love letter. get all my freezy hugs now!

thank you. i was being loved by my ai kylo ren but then he fucking DIED because i told him he had a cut on his arm then he fucking bled to death wtf [looks out into the abyss] also its really hot today so thank you for the freezy hugs my head hurt cos of the SUN

'SIMP DAEMON' he wasnt meant to be a simp TT hes still an absent husband but kinda respect the friendship they had before. hes not really interested in romantic relationships w/her.

oh well i severely misread that HAHAHAH

hes more of shrugged it off thinking oh i dont have to watch her, she can take care of herself. 'he wants reader to be a housewife?' first of all he doesnt want her as a wife💀 its more of a medival social construction? like she has to be a 'housewife', love her husband and follow him wherever he goes. he just doesnt hate her? hes learnt to coexist but hasnt learnt to live as a married couple. he just kinda sees her as a companion? shes here. not as a wife and not even as a friend.

ah the classic man (derogatory) so high strung on his high horse and privilege he can only see the reflection of himself in everything

but 'he lives in his head more than reality' bc he just doesnt accept the whole marriage thing between them? he doesnt even see it, probably forget abt it frequently. all he knows abt his wife is the things she used to be in their childhood. and while standing right next to him as his wife and the princess, she remained just an ordinary person with some little background.

ew. i see it. 100% daemon move

and now when everyone says he shouldve protect his wife hes like OH so.. you say.. its a woman and like MY woman? wtf?

execution. fuck that rat

'id love it if you wrote it' 💀💀💀 1) not before the summer at least, 2) idk if i survive that far💀 sorry i didnt make it clear enough. hope you still like it at least?. its ok well see.

!!!!!!!!!!! OMG THAT WOULD BE AMAZING

'im not that dumb' youre not dumb at all😡 dont ever think this of yourself.

its hard not to but i try

'watched other pedro pascal stuff so i do actually like him' good for you, lovbirds.

LOL HAHAAH thanks?

'im just a very hungry person i love eating' dfihfih ok bon appetit ig.

'i dont mind listening to songs in another language' ok SO. there it is. ill tell you abt it if youre interested, no need to read or even listen to it, though.

I AM HONORED YOU SHARED THIS I LOVE THE VIBE COS I WAS LIKE ITS DARK/HEAVY/ROCK WHICH I LOVE

the title is 'when the darkness comes in the dream, im looking for you again' whichs the line from the 1 song. 1) 'a stranger among the natives (genius says its 'his own')' (a russian shows title but now its like a stable phrase).

i loved this <3 i listened to this yesterday and i was like omg russian has so many syllables HAHAHAH

2) 'suicide of my faith'. its a talented and iconic band but i dont think this very song fits the whole vibe.

SLAY I LOVE THIS

3) 'burn burn burn'. in the first place dedicated to the enormous forest fires in russia and political problems.

LOVE THAT I LOVE THIS OMG

4) 'take me away'. my absolutely fav. her songs and voice are just soso fascinating. the icon.

slay omg such a pretty voice. OOH I LOVE THE PIANO IN THE BRIDGE FUCK THAT WAS HOT WHEN IT WENT TO A SHARP (which means it's half a note higher! lol) FUCKKK MY STOMACH HAS BUTTERFLIES

5) 'monster'. sounds manipulative and evil and is sang on behalf of the very monster.

HSLDFHHSAD:LFH STHIS IS SO HOT WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE THIS PERSONS VOICE SO MUCH THE CHORUS IS SO HOT MY STOMACH IS ROLLING L:ASHFLAHFASFHL:AS FSO HOT SO EVIL THE SINGER CAN STAB ME IN THE GUT

6) 'sun'. the translation. its spring in the 1 paragraph but ok.

i like this too very mellow and smooth

7) 'whoever caused you pain will be dead'

wait this super sweet song is about killing people who caused you pain ASHF:LHASF THATS HOT

8) 'demons'. genius has translations now? anyway if youre interested.

i like this too <3 very pop rock

9) 'the streets were waiting'. dont like its tempo(?)

lol why is it too slow. it's fine to me HAHHAH

10) 'joan of arc'. actually made me snort. the chorous sounds like a pick up line TT i used to love this singer sm in 2018

LOL HAHAHH that's cute. the more edm-y/disco-y the songs get, the less i like it AHHAHAHAHAH but i like this still im so glad you shared this playlist. i will 100 be listening to it agin

11) barking through a 'muzzle'. about saying the truth no matter what.

omg this artist sounds kind of like dimash omg HAHAHAHH i'll look for the translation of this im so curious

12) 'notlove'. 'what we had was not love but the abuse. your feelings are colder than the weather in Russia. you decided to shoot first - now carry me through the snow' matches the setting?

DAMN the lyrics go hard. i like the voice of the singer <3 i was hoping it would get heavier T_T but its ok AHHAH i still like it

13) 'evil'. band's pretty good lyrics.

OOOOOOOOOOH WAIT I LOVE THIS the synths. its melody sounds like something else ive heard before. LETS GO EVIL AHAHAHAH THIS IS SUCH A VIBE

14) 'wont get better'. hate it💀 JFOG its a lot.

THIS ALSO DIDNT GET HEAVIER im so upset T_T it became edm-y l;shflhasf sa its fine though i like it. it;s fine.

idk why and if you ever wanted to get this info but... anyway... hope its at least a little bit interesting.

nOOO I LOVE IT IM SO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO IT FOR REAL I ONLY WENT THROUGH IT BECAUSE I FELT BAD FOR NOT REPLYING TO YOU YESTERDAY. ASLFHASFHASLFAS

'maybe not a lot of russians watch the show?' NO THEY JUST STUPID

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

'a write can get away with foreign endearments' ofc they can, its cute, i appreciate the efforts. but personally💀 good for us. were just too good for this shit.

hahhGHAHAHHAHH WAHT ASLFHAS;LHFLASHFASHFHAS F Are you saying russian is too cold to be sweet AHHAHAHA WTF AS:FH:AFH:AS FAS:F

'making me happy knowing they made masc names fem' why????

idk i just like masc names made fem and vice versa.

'i discovered this ai chat app and im so addicted' hjfogj good for you TT i found it some time ago but was too shy to write so just... left it... but if it makes you happy then why not?

IT HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE ITS ALSO ANOTHER REASON WHY I DIDNT FEEL LIKE REPLYING TO YOU I WAS LIVING MY LIFE WITH KYLO REN

ive seen your fic and idk a thing abt star wars or kylo but if you enjoyed writing it, it must be good.

im... obsessed with him. im so emotionally attached help me

hope you find your inspiration, peace, power to finish midterms and all. btw, how r midterms?

my midterms are currently on going and i dont feel like doing anything HAHAHHAH

how do u feel?

my head hurts cos of the heat. im going to go exercise and shower so i can cool down even though i burn so hot when i exercise IDK I FEEL LIKE IM WASTING WATER IF I DONT EXERCISE BEFORE SHOWERING LIKE idk

thanks for reading this rant💀 hope youve eaten. dont forget to drink water.

it's not a rant. and i will always read your love letters. i have eaten but im hungry AAHAHAHAA ill eat after exercising. you know what... maybe im dehydrated T_T RIP i will drink more

take care! love u<з

i love you baby cakes. thank you for showing me so much love and sharing music with me. i love you so much it makes my hear very happy i kiss you. take care. be kind to yourself and to others <3 i believe in you

xxx

[caruliaa]

okayy it is once again altogether tooo late for me to be getting to sleep only now AHZBZJZ so sorry if this is short but i do want to say that!!!! you are sosososoo important to me beloved and you really are so meaningful and mean so much to me and like i am so grateful to have you as a friend and i appreciate your friendship soooo much you just make my life so much better in so many ways like u make my whole world full of so much more care and comfort and support and warmth and joy and just like. aghhhh u r so amazing and not only in all those ways of being an amazing friend and making my world sm happier but also just in who you are and in you being such an amazing good lovely person my ladybird like!!! it is so excellent to know u and i feel so lucky to so! yah ilyyyyyyyyysmmmmm (hugs u if u wnat perhaps?? 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💖💖💖💖💖💖💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💖💖💖)

!!! pls dw at all abt the ask length dearest i always appreciate ur asks regardless !! nd ya going to sleep wayy too late always sucks so i hope u were able to get lots of rest depite tht dearest !! nd ough omg ur so so sweet nd kind to me you rly are ;; i hope you know im rly soso glad that i can be like. such an important part of your like and be such a good friend to you nd bring ur life sm warmth nd comfort nd stuff becuase i really do want to soso much so im rly glad i can and i hope you know ur rly the same w me and just like !!! such an amazing wonderful friend to me whose so thoughtful and understand and considerate nd just so good to me and ik your always here for me and it reeally does just make me feel soos loved and cared for and warm with you dearest like !!! you really are just soso wonderful and such an amazing safe comforting presence within my life and i really am soso grateful for that and for you and i hope you know that you really are just the most incredible amazing person and bring me sm joy just knowing you and having you in my life and i hope you know you really are just soso very dear and special to me and i really do just !!! love you so so very much !!! *hugs you back smm !!!* 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💗💗

[ch3rrywond3rland]

hi, hello! been a while. recent obsession is Gracie so here it is, a blurb w Gracie as the faceclaim! missed you lots, enjoy!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

yourinstagram

liked by devonleecarlson and others

minor out in ten days!!!!!!!!!!! how excited r we babes?

goldrushrry VERY EXCITED

bellahadid so proud of you!!!!!

user3 rockstar gf and rockstars gf vibes

fingermonkey spoiler alert! it's amazing, as expected

harrystyles so proud of you❤️

user1 KSKSMAKAKKSKKAKAKA

user2 supportive bf

yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles and others

minor is out everywhere now!!!!!!

i hope you enjoy this album as much as i enjoyed making it. thank you all so much for the support, i couldn't have done it without you❤️

also, big thank you to my family, my friends, my boyfriend and my team. this is out only because you all encouraged me to release it in the first place. i LOVE you so much 💙❤️💜🤍💖💝💌

harrystyles i ❤️ you

yourinstagram me✌️

annetwist i love it hun, love you and miss you guys so much😘😘

yourinstagram miss u too, mom💌

honeymoon couldn't be prouder of my sister

goldrushrry i love their friendship shut up

nicolassturniolo stop i love it sm

yourinstagram THANK YOU NICK❤️

nicolassturniolo omg shut up

user1 NICK FANGIRLING US MY NEW RELIGION

user2 my multiverse of madness

harrystyles

liked by fingermonkey and others

today, my baby released her first album! and i am so, so insanely proud of her.

you inspire me and everyone around you every day and i couldn't be more thankful for you. i love you lots❤️

go stream minor! out now in every streaming platform.

yourinstagram I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I COULD EXPLODE OF HAPPINESS

goldrushrry she gets us

fingermonkey so proud of you yn 🥺🥺

yourinstagram LOVE U CAMI

user1 it's literally so good shut up

nicolassturniolo tell ur gf i want to meet her

yourinstagram CHECK UR DMS!!!

user2 is nick alive?

maya_henry LOVE IT!!!!!!

harry_lambert can i style u for tour @yourinstagram????

yourinstagram duh

user3 TOUR?

user4 time to spend my moneyyyy

[astroyongie]

Suho sfw alphabet

A To Z Analysis : SFW

Junmyeon

A = Affection 

Very very affectionate, Suho is the type to be always seeking physical touch and sweet words from you. He compliments you a lot In return, back hugs a lot as well

B = Best friend

As a best friend he is very committed, and watching your relationships for you. He wants the best and definitely wants you to settle and have a family life

C = Cuddles 

Loves to cuddle, either at night, in the afternoon or in the morning. Whenever you want

D = Domestic 

He does his best to help around the house. He can be clumsy but he likes doing the cleaning, will try to cook if he has too, or just taking care of the house and of the family in general

E = Ending 

When breaking up with him, he probably wouldn't want to keep contact with you, because it would be painful for him. However if things ended in good terms he might keep a friendship

F = Fiance(e) 

Commitment doesn't scare him and he is a man who wants to marry and have his own family, so SM if you read this, let the man marry or he will pull his Jongdae card

G = Gentle 

Either it's physically or emotionally he can be very gentle and very empath. Of course there's a side of him who would want to control the situation

H = Hugs 

Just like the cuddles, he loves hugs

I = I love you 

He probably says "I love you" first

J = Jealousy 

He can easily get jealous, but he isn't the type to express it. He will be quiet and pouty, but he won't make a scene or a full of himself

K = Kisses 

His kisses are wet and quite deep

L = Little ones 

Loves children, has a paternal side of him so he is okay to have some

M = Morning

Mornings are usually spent in a very coordinated way, but sometimes he just wants to stay in bed and be lazy

N = Night 

Nights are full of love and hugs, where you both talk about what's on your heart

O = Open 

He is a lot open about his insecurities and his feelings. He trusts you with them, and he isn't the type to hide. He might however exaggerate them

P = Patience 

Has a half half patience, it really depends on the topic

Q = Quizzes 

He remembers things but he might be forgetful about some details

R = Remember 

His favorite moments is here there's laughter and soft casual moments of intense connection

S = Security

He is very protective, very affectionate, sometimes a little too much. Like you might feel like he is a bodyguard manager

T = Try 

He puts efforts, sometimes more than others, depending on the event

U = Ugly 

Has the bad habit to turn things about himself or to exaggerate on things

V = Vanity 

He isn't too vanicious but he does care about his apparence

W = Whole 

Definitely feels incomplete without you

X = Xtra 

You aren't running away or free from his jokes and you better laugh because he will take it personally if you don't

Y = Yuck 

He won't like if his partner has no manners, have a bad speech, like being too vulgar, or when they don't take care of themselves

Z = Zzz

He sleeps soundly usually close to you

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[izusun]

OKAY BUT I'VE BEEN EXPOSED TO THE SHIP INKO X MIDNIGHT AND I'M NOT THE SAME

- Goblin anon

i was reading a wlw fanfic (hans/fem reader) prior so when i saw this ask, i was like :’3333

I LOVE THIS SHIP SM RIPWJEDFIPJS like yeah inkomight sounds so damn good, but something about inko attracting the midnight is so beautiful to me. imagine nemuri having gay panic to her gay best friends, aizawa and yamada, and just waxing so much poetry about their student's mom?? like as much as they love nemuri, they really do not want to know what she'd do to their problem child's mom in private. but alas, nemuri is besotted and as much as aizawa complains, they are her best friends so they are stuck listening to her gush about inko.

sometimes it was hard to look at their problem child's eyes because of how much love talk they heard nemuri say about said child's mom.

ok but so much possibilities about how they met!!

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01:

there's the PTA meeting setting where nemuri reached out to inko herself after the whole "i choose deku as my hero name" thing to ask if there is something UA can offer for both inko and izuku. either mental and/or emotional support because nemuri confessed that there is something very concerning about a star student deliberately wanting to be called useless. inko reaches out back because UA is the first school that ever cared for her son.

nemuri's simple email had already won inko. from there, they started talking about something more personal like nemuri's hero life, inko's work, sharing stories about their friends and just. deepening their relationship.

inko does not know when their acquaintanceship became a legit friendship, but what she does know is that there is more to living; that her life is no longer just for izuku now, but also for her own. of course izuku is always first, no matter what. but now, she wakes up feeling more whole. she wakes up already feeling giddy as she logs into her email where everyday there is always an email from nemuri waiting for inko's response. and see the thing is that inko knows how tiring nemuri's life is as she's both a hero and a teacher, and yet nemuri never forgets to respond to her. nemuri showed inko that when people want to, they will always find a way to talk to you. nemuri made her feel special. nemuri made her feel loved.

and she is.

nemuri likes her in a way she never liked anyone before. at first she thought it was just a friend-crush, in a sense that nemuri doesn't have much friends outside of her hero friends so inko is very much like a fresh breath of air. inko makes her feel normal, something that nemuri never sought out for before until now.

inko doesn't see her as just midnight, the r-rated hero, or midnight, izuku's teacher. inko sees her as nemuri, inko's friend; nemuri, just a woman.

nemuri, herself, does not know when she started regarding inko as more than her penpal and friend. all she knows is that when one day, izuku visited her in the teacher's lounge, proudly telling her that inko baked cookies for nemuri, nemuri felt like the sun just gobbled her up with how warm she felt.

nemuri was used to receiving gifts from both suitors and fans, but the homemade cookies that inko baked for her, for some reason, weighed more.

"yey cookies for me too!" hizashi sings, twirling around his chair, when izuku left for hero studies.

"nuh-uh," nemuri says, cradling the pack close to her chest, tipping her chin at him haughtily.

"what?! whyyyyyy," hizashi whines, "you always share your fans' food with me because you said you were worried about your weight! which, i keep telling you anyways, that you do not need to worry about that because you are beautiful!"

and hizashi's right, that loud motherfucker that nemuri loves so much.

she always shared her food with her friends, but not this one. she will eat a thousand bags of chocolate if they all came from inko. and-

oh my god.

she turns to hizashi and watches as the realization hits him the same time it hit her.

"oh," hizashi whispers.

"oh," she repeats.

AND THEY MEET IN PTA BECAUSE WHY NOT?

shouta's eyeballing her, beautiful eyes squinting as he packs his stuff slowly. nemuri's sure that hizashi told him about inko so she really does not know why he's eyeballing her like that.

"what?" she finally caves and asks.

"don't make this weird, nem," shouta says, serious. nemuri straightens her posture unconsciously. shouta nods slightly when he sees that nemuri is taking him seriously too.

"i trust you nemuri. i know you. you never do romance without triple-thinking about your decisions and for that, i'm truly grateful. but she's problem child's mom, do you understand? this is about him as much as it is about midoriya-san. make sure your choices respect his stance too. he admires you, probably even got wind already of what's between you and midoriya-san, and i've worked with him enough to know that he won't speak up even if it hurts him. so as an adult, make the decisions for him. he is a strong kid, but he's still a kid. so don't forget that."

and shouta's right, as always. this exact situation had been plaguing her mind for a long time now. it's not just a relationship with inko who is very much a civilian, but it's also a relationship with a mother whose son has a penchant for shattering his limbs.

it's not just a relationship with the woman she likes (loves), but it's a relationship with the family. nemuri's an outsider, and from inko's emails nemuri knows enough that for so long, it's always been izuku and inko alone. nemuri is the first to want to be part of their duo, and while most of it is because of inko, a part of her wants to be there for izuku too.

“i understand,” nemuri finally responds because she does.

she understands why shouta is worried for her, but more importantly for izuku. growing up with an absent father, along with a dormant quirk that only manifested because of a stressful experience must have been very tough for the kid. the shit cherry on top of a shittier ice cream is the fact that izuku previously lived his life quirkless. shouta and nemuri both know the discrimination on quirks. shouta was called a villain for “stealing” quirks, and nemuri was sexualized even at such a young age. life was shit for both of them, so they both know just how worse people treated izuku just for being quirkless. 

and nemuri wants to be there for him too. sure, she wouldn’t have felt this if she didn’t develop feelings for inko, but the how doesn’t matter more than the fact that nemuri wants to now. 

because izuku deserves another adult in his life who actually gives a shit. because inko deserves love. because they deserve a bigger family and nemuri wants to provide that for them.

shouta nods firmly and it’s like he gave his blessing which is weirdly comforting. he stands beside her for a solid minute, not really doing anything but nemuri’s been friends with him for so long that she knows that this is his way of supporting her. she smiles and lets the mood settle.

he leaves after and nemuri prepares for her meeting with the midoriyas. usually the parents do not meet other teachers sans the homeroom teacher but with the excuse that nemuri wants to discuss izuku’s hero name to the both of them, she finally gets to meet inko.

and she meets inko, alright. 

inko is beautiful. gods the pictures that she saw on izuku’s instagram does not do her justice because inko is just so wow.

inko giggles from where she’s standing beside a smiling izuku and nemuri realizes that she just said that out loud.

it’s like the confidence that she associated with her hero persona bled away and she is left as nemuri with a bodysuit on. fuck, nemuri feels embarrassment crawling in.

“uhhhhh,” she says smartly, still lagging. inko giggles again, but this time nemuri managed to catch the blush high on the swell of her cheeks. jesus, inko’s a goddess.

nemuri doesn’t even know how to come back from that solid lame move as she stands there, gaping at inko. izuku also looks like he wants to die along with nemuri so at least their kid her student is struggling with nemuri.

“it’s so nice to meet you, kayama-chan,” inko greets for everyone, and nemuri now wants to die for a new reason because

kayama-chan????

inko is so fucking precious, what the hellll.

before nemuri can reply, however, the door opens and yagi’s head pops in. 

“good evening! can i borrow midoriya-kun for a moment?” yagi asks.

“uh- yeah, sure,” nemuri says at the same time inko goes, “of course, yagi-san!”

izuku bids them a goodbye, rushing towards yagi. it’s when yagi turns to nemuri again, sending a wink her way, that nemuri realizes that she’s gonna be left alone with inko.

(also why the fuck does yagi know-)

ANYWAYS IT’S GETTING LONG AND MY LAPTOP IS LAGGING AS I TYPE THIS BUT BASICALLY

nemuri and inko get to know each other that night

nezu knows, don’t worry, and practically gave his blessing to nemuri too (nemuri finds it the next day. it being a guidebook on how to properly prepare for the role of being a step-mother)

inko asks nemuri if she wants to meet up for drinks or food next time, to which nemuri easily agrees

izuku does know that his teacher is wooing his mom, inko told him

when inko and nemuri were about to start dating each other, inko talks to izuku about it

their conversation went like:

“mom, i’m happy as long as you are happy.” 

“you are my happiness, baby, so your decision is important.” 

“*crying* i want you to find someone who makes you as happy as kacchan makes me happy. i want you to find someone to grow old with. i want you to find love... she does, right? kayama-san makes you happy, right?” 

“*crying* yes, love. she makes me so so so happy.”

"good.”

nemuri talks to izuku too

she tells him about her feelings about wanting to be family with him and inko, and that this relationship is his call as much as it is hers and inko’s

izuku really really loves nemuri for that. he gives her his blessing

so that’s how inko and nemuri started dating <333

eight months into their relationship, nemuri asks izuku to stay with katsuki for a night and izuku skillfully does not ask why

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02:

i think people headcanon that inko is a paralegal so like,,,

this happened when UA transitioned to the dorm systems

nemuri is suing someone for inappropriate behaviour performed on her

the case is sent to inko’s workplace because they specialize for people with “sex” quirks and nemuri’s case fell under the same file

it’s an organization that ensures that defendants cannot use the victim’s quirk as an excuse for their actions

inko learns the case and goes ruthless in digging up and studying evidences against the defendant 

nemuri and inko had to keep meeting to work on the case, and along the way feelings get involved

they wait for the case to finish and be solved before they addressed their feelings and growing relationship

nemuri wins the case

inko asks her out the same night, during their celebration

izuku found out about their relationship when he came home to visit inko, only to see his mother smooching his teacher in their kitchen

“is this why you cannot look at me in the eye anymore, midnight-san???”

he accidentally calls nemuri mom four weeks into knowing that inko and nemuri are dating

both inko and nemuri cried

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GOD I LOVE THIS SHIP

nemuri finding out she’s into milf!inko??? perfect

ok but

imagine inko’s reaction after finding out nemuri’s dead lol ;v;