#like they have only met twice in person iirc?

[reading-writing-dying]

Can not stop thinking about Shiny Duo "I know my Pearl sounds"

[ink-going-insane]

random mystreet and diaries ramble time! specifically about travis!

travis is a really really important character to me. i probably oc-ified him in my mind on accident but iiit's fine probably. but either way he's really special to me with how his character is.

i'll probably end up rambling more about mystreet than diaries because i have more of a personal attachment to ms since that's what i mainly grew up with, so i'm sorry about that in advance ^^;

i'm also. putting it all under a read more because it's gonna get Long. so yea another warning in advance for that!

both in mystreet and diaries, it feels like travis tries to be a sorta comic-relief character at times to get everyone to smile and ignore their troubles. he does really stupid things to distract others from their issues because he's really big on having his friends feel better and happy. he's not the best at communicating at times, but he tries his best by just being weird and getting people to smile. his not too good communication skills do unfortunately cause him to use some of the...tricks he knows at Bad Times (one example being in diaries s2 when lucinda first sees her mother iirc) but he always means well and genuinely just wants everyone to be happy. even in the end of season 6 of mystreet, after everything that happened, the moment he was free and woke up and saw katelyn, he flirts with her in an effort to cheer her up even though they both just went through Hell.

travis is a really selfless character to me. in diaries, with the added s3 enki island lore, travis was essentially fighting a battle that No One There acknowledged. they all thought Travis was the cursed person causing the imps and all that jazz to show and he just. lived with it. he kept saying it was fine when his friends tried to defend him. and then there was the incident in the phoenix alliance island where people were scared of him and iirc he acted like it was fine but it really isn't but aaaaaa. and i'm so so so so happy with his choice after they got enki's relic. his choice to essentially discover himself and live freely without chaining himself down to another burden is something i will forever adore because he deserves it!! and i was so happy he saw that opportunity of freedom, to maybe feel the joy he's been wanting to feel for a long time. i don't know if any of this makes sense i really hope it does.

in mystreet travis's life is more...calm? i guess? there's the child experimentation that happened and then the whole thing of thinking his dad had two different personalities randomly with one of them being Horrible, which actually on second thought my irene does this poor guy still suffer. though we never actually really see any of it and only hear about his father's (well, michael's) negative actions (not including the child experimentation) Twice. once from lucinda talking to kim in s5 and a second time from travis talking to himself in the last episode of s6. he doesn't really talk about himself and instead opts for just vibing in the moment, and doesn’t mind listening to other's troubles.

it's obvious during pdh that he's pretty socially awkward, especially with having dante for a friend. and i think he was his only friend until starting high school where travis met aphmau and the others. like not to be rude but have you Seen dante. guy is a horrible influence. anyway so yea travis wasn't the best at communication, but this is also when he first manages to make someone Smile. he says some really bad pick-up lines to katelyn in s1 in an attempt to cheer her up after her break-up and it gets her to Smile and it distracted her from her troubles and that's when he realized that he can make others Happy with his shenanigans. and so he kept at it, because he wants people and those he cares about to Smile.

oh and quick (not quick i lied) side tangent about the Not Alone Buddies and also travis's role in the story of pdh. aphmau and travis's friendship is so so so special to me. partly because it reminds me of my own friendships vibe-wise, but also because of their special connection. i'm a bit upset that it wasn't expanded upon more during the main mystreet story but it does make a bit of sense since friendships can occasionally drift apart a little bit as you get older so the two of them aren't as close as they used to be. but i still wish they showed more of the closeness that Should Have Been There!! especially in pdh where he was set up to be sorta important! instead of opting for "here's a bunch of scenes with love interests for aphmau that you know aren't going to end up with her and almost nothing else other than strict plot mostly surrounding aphmau and her love interests" they should've had more scenes of her with her friends!!! and travis!!!! and also vylad!!!!!! because they became a trio after he transferred and that literally Never got expanded upon! i don't even think there's another scene of travis with vylad after their first meeting, i genuinely don't remember there being another one At All. maybe one or two? or just none at all and either way that's Bad. and vylad also barely has any proper scenes with aphmau also it hurts. this is a travis post but by extension it's also a Not Alone Buddies post because i love them forever and vylad should've gotten more screentime >:( along with a lot of the other characters they deserved so much more! and it really bothers me that they set up travis to be sorta important at the start of pdh, only to quickly demote him to side character and comedy duo with dante. it really hurts.

in main story mystreet he gets a bit more attention but it's mostly for a comic relief kinda thing at the start. the fact most of his character in s1 got retconned is really funny to me. anyway he gets character development in season 2!! he stood up for himself because katelyn was being Not Nice and i'm so proud of him for it!!! this is also when him being a creep mostly stops iirc so that's nice, but i tend to pretend the creepy scenes Don't Exist in the first place. anyway after that there isn't really much development for him iirc until season 5, though of course there's that nice fun scene in aphmau's year where michael says hello, but he shows up a lot more in season 5 and of course season 6. in s5 it's like "huh i have a weird voice in my head and i suddenly occasionally can't control my actions but surely it must've been me. oh well as long as it makes katelyn happy :)" and like. it's so precious he just wants her to be happy and it hurts knowing michael's intentions and stuff because in both s5 and the start of s6 he just wanted katelyn to smile and be happy and safe so he was okay with letting the weird voice do its thing as long as it helped. it uh. stopped helping after The Incident. but even when he was trapped in his own mind and forced to watch he wanted so badly for it all to stop because he didn't want his friends to suffer. he didn't care what happened to him as long as his friends would be okay, which is why his monologue in the last episode horrifies me. i read a theory that he's going to sacrifice himself to stop the rumored meteor in s7 and something'll cause everyone to forget him and i really really really hope that doesn't happen i hope s7 gives him an actual calming break in the end please.

i'll be honest i...don't know where i was actually going with this post. it just kinda happened. i was alone with my thoughts (bad) and i saw a post with travis on it and just went "travis :)" in my mind and the next thing i knew this wall of text got vomited onto my phone screen. thinking of travis will now be my comfort i guess?? i just think he's neat <3

[lehdenlaulu]

lestat and armand for the ship meme if you havent gotten em already because OBVIOUSLY!

Yasssss. I counted on you. 😆

Okay, these might be a little obvious, but here goes:

who’s the cuddler: 

I feel like both of them are. And while Louis and Daniel for example accept their clinginess without complaint, I feel like with each other – once they got over themselves – it would be like... limbs tangled, fingers entwined or threaded into hair, faces nuzzled into crooks of necks, as close as physically possible. A whole-ass vampire Gordian knot. You know?

who makes the bed:

Armand. Lestat, bless his black little heart, is 100% a slob.

who wakes up first:

Hmm. Armand. He probably stays snuggled into Lestat for a good while, though.

who has the weird taste in music:

C'mon, anything weird is Armand's domain. Lestat loves music and gamely tries to be as adventurous as possible, but Armand still manages to hyperfixate on some obscure Peruvian doom metal that is played almost entirely on pan flutes or something and Lestat has to admit defeat.

who is more protective:

ARMAND. I mean, it's not that Lestat doesn't have sometimes even somewhat patronizingly protective feelings towards Armand, but... Canonically, not only is he Lestat's own personal guardian devil (come on, he even met Daniel because he trespassed on Lestat's resting place), he'll happily tear the head off anyone who even looks at any of his loved ones wrong, and probably use their skulls as decoration as well. Maybe eat their soul for good measure, you never know with him.

who sings in the shower:

Lestat. Obviously.

who cries during movies:

Lestat is a world-famous champion weeper, but I bet there's something completely unexpected that will get Armand misty-eyed. Or not so unexpected. Maybe he has cried once or twice while watching Blade Runner. Maybe he can relate.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Hmm. I feel like Lestat, an extravagant extrovert, enjoys the act of shopping more, but Armand is just as good if not better at burning money on things (and then abandoning them or forgetting they exist).

who kisses more roughly:

Huh. I don't think there's a clear-cut answer to this one. Their canonical kisses are all, IIRC, rather tender, sweet, or casual. I think Armand might get a bit more bitey, but not exactly rough, not with Lestat. 🤔

who is more dominate:

Again, there's no simple answer because their power dynamic is overall particularly complicated, nor do I think you can really separate the (semi-)sexual power dynamics from their overall power dynamics.

I mean, Armand is canonically a switch, and I always got the vibe from Lestat that he's probably too when it comes down to it. And then there's that whole aspect of odd mutual... deference, I could say, that has elements of worship. And I mean... Lestat looks a lot like Marius, which I'm sure initially absolutely messed with Armand's head, especially in those circumstances, so there's that. And Lestat on the other hand will probably always be a little bit in awe of Armand, in all meanings of the word. So I'll just say that it would probably take some time for them to find a balance that works for both of them.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

Honestly, can I even give them anything but 10? I don't know if they were originally my 'favourite ship', as I think my teenage self sort of went "right, these guys don't operate by any traditional human relationship conventions so 'shipping' something would be a bit silly" (okay I did have a soft spot for Marius and Pandora, but I digress). But I'm sure I always found them fascinating. Because... come on. All hyperbole aside, who is doing it like them?? Two centuries plus of drama, devotion, and... defenestrations? I could say so much more and pull so many quotes, but let's just leave it with: "Does anyone else know the size of your soul?"

[srmthg]

what’s it like being fandom vip for an almost-20 year old mid-00s show? got any interesting stories?

OOOOOOOOOOHOHOHO DO I

I've been in this fandom since it was airing on TV - got into it about partway through. I was in charge of the fandom's largest message board for a while at an age and tendency to go a little power mad where I should not have been in charge of anything TBH. Overall it was a great place to be, but there was the occasional drama that comes with a bunch of teenagers governing themselves. It's hard to put into brief words just how different early 2000s fandom was on so many levels, both as far as how fandom operated and what its general values were. IDK how old you are, anon, but for younger readers, social media as we know it didn't exist and interacting with creators of shows was a VERY rare occurrence. I think Ciro popped in once or twice but when I still lose my mind whenever I mention a show on Twitter and a staff member so much as "likes" my post. It's still kinda surreal to me. But glass half full - I met people there who helped me become a better person, a lot of whom I'm still friends with to this day, one of whom is now my queerplatonic partner. I got to travel to meet a few of them in person for the first time this year and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I wrote a looooot of fics back in the day too, but I think a lot of people don't realize just how prolific this fandom has been in general fanfic wise, because most of it is still only on fanfiction.net. AO3 has a little over 400 fics, about 1/3rd of which are mine. On FFN, there are a little over 2300 Monkey Team fics - more than some of its fandom contemporaries that has much bigger fanbases such as W.I.T.C.H., Jimmy Neutron, and Jake Long. This fandom WROTE. (Fun fact: IIRC I was the first one to start using "Spova" instead of "SprxNova" for the ship name and now that's a pretty universal thing, which I just think is neat. It's like I left a little mark on something I really love. ) But yeah, I could write a book about this but TL;DR this fandom is honestly the best and has only gotten better with age. I've seen so many talented kids grow into even more talented adults and shared so many memories with them - I feel more like I "grew up" with this fandom than my actual peers in high school. No other fandom is really like it and I'm so thankful it's still around and active. <3

[miss-eli-starfleet]

I read this fic where her parents don’t tell her about the “other Nora” while growing up, but she finds this photo of her parents with S5 Nora. And gets upset and questions her parents about if she’s a “replacement”, which I think would be a more realistic family dynamic. I don’t think you would have good esteem knowing about how your parents had met “the other Nora” first and clearly has such good memories of her. And probably named you Nora because of her (which iirc she does question this too in the fic).

I still wish the show went with Dawn and Don as the Tornado Twins post-crisis, but live action of Bart was cool to watch. Also who names their children Dawn and Don. Imagine kindergarten or something or grade 5 where your teacher have to take attendance.

Also agreed about 5x20. That was way too short. Imagine the father you’ve always wanted to meet telling the team that he wanted a moment alone with Nora after she explained why she was working with Thawne. And then Barry uses that moment to literally dump her in the middle of the street in the future, telling her to never go back to see him. I know she fucked up bad lying about Thawne, but then Barry himself went back to Thawne twice now for information/advice. AND in past episodes, Barry told Nora he believed even Thawne could change when she asked him. She’d be so heated.

Like I understand you’re pissed because your daughter is working with your mom’s killer behind your back, but all that accomplished was make her feel so abandoned that she immediately ran back to Thawne again because in her eyes, she sees him as the only person she can trust after 5x18 with Iris and the chip thing and then now Barry

LOVIN this Nora AU of 6a.

She initially runs into the NSF as per canon then dips out because she doesn’t want the NSF to be apart of her. But upon Iris’ insistence and Barry’s “we have to go back”, as she begins to sparkle a little bit, she relents and runs into it. Imagine the corruption is slow. She’s the same heroic and happy Nora they know for a while. Her parents are hopeful and think that because she has Barry’s OG speedforce, maybe it cancels out the NSF or something, they convince themselves that she’ll be fine even when her personality begins to shift. Slowly she gets whammied to the point she hurts and threatens a team member. It corrupts her to the point where she leaves team flash to stop metahumans her own NSF way, and kills for the first time or something like that.

Nora AU would be so beautifully heart wrenching and soul crushing bittersweet end. And Iris having to grieve her and Barry.

Not sure if you’ve made a post about this alr but how would Reyna save Nora from disappearing? You said something about Reyna being a breather. So like Cisco?

I was so so sad when Nora died (and actually wondered what would happen if she ran into the negative sf) but we never got to see that. Ie, her personality with the negative sf being apart of her.

Reyna is indeed a breacher, like her parents, Cisco and Cynthia. The issue, and why I don’t really have much of an answer to your question, is that I don’t really know how Reyna would actually go about doing this 😅

It seems like their powers are vibration-based—they can sense other timelines that way, but can’t necessarily interact with those other timelines (their breaches can traverse universes, but not timelines…at least not on the show). I know Cisco’s powers are way more OP in the comics, but idk if they’re OP enough that someone with his powers could pull someone from a different timeline into this one. So it’s a fun thought experiment, but uh…I have no idea how it would actually happen 😅 because the whole point of this idea is that Nora is in the wrong timeline, so she’d have to be pulled from her old timeline before she could actually be erased, into this new timeline that she’s already been erased from (hopefully that wording makes sense)

Yeah, I was sad when Nora died too. Mostly it rubbed me kinda the wrong way when they brought her back in s7 and just…treated her like “replacement Nora”—this isn’t just Nora revived, this is literally just “oh she died, but it’s okay, Westallen had another version of her and everything is fine!” It felt a little cheap to me (tbh having the two Nora’s interact has been swirling around in my head as a fic concept but…that’s for a different post 😂)

I also think that having her merge with the NSF in the s5 finale would’ve been way better than her “villain arc” in 5x20. Of course, the ultimate end would be “this isn’t you!” and pulling the NSF out of her but…idk, imagine if she raced off at the end of s5, was teased as a new villain for 6a, and Barry has to grapple with fighting his own daughter, knowing that if he pulls the NSF out of her, it’ll kill her instantly. It could make for some great drama (and maybe they could give Nora more villain gravitas instead of just her throwing a tantrum). Though ofc in the end they would ultimately do it…and 6a would end with the immediate onset of Crisis.

Idk. Something like that. It’s not a perfect idea, but it intrigues me nonetheless

[tuiyla]

No, not an anti Blaine place, not at all! Kurt and Adam's downton abbey scene just screamed soulmates to me ;) I like Blaine just fine, I like him and Kurt equally I think, I just always thought Kurt had more chemistry with Adam, seemed to have more fun with Adam, seemed more relaxed around Adam. Kurt/Adam just clicked for me. I thought Blaine had more chemistry with Sam than he did with Kurt and I'm not even one to ship a non canon couple or ship a gay guy with who for all we know is a straight guy. I thought Santana teased Adam so much because she liked him. I could see them chilling at the new york apartment, little digs back and forth but all in good nature. I think I saw the friend chemistry between Santana and Adam that I didn't see between Santana and Blaine. Again, I like Blaine! I just saw him having more chemistry with people other than Kurt and Santana, like Sam or Tina or Artie. I think it all comes down to chemistry for me. So no I don't have essay length thoughts and proof and whatnot for my hill dying haha I only know how those characters and relationships felt to me.

Ah gotcha that's all fair, didn't mean to accuse you Anon haha. I've had an intense Kadam anon before but this is all good.

I always find it interesting when people get attached to smaller characters and relationships - in the best way, because I think seeing the potential in that is so endearing. You make me wish we saw more of Adam so it could have been better for you haha.

Here's the thing about Santana and Adam for me, that I do happen to think she didn't mind him and even maybe liked him. Especially when the other new person she met in New York was Brody, it's really easy to be better by comparison. I just don't think there's a lot in canon to substantiate that? She speaks to him directly like, twice, and only once does she address him iirc. To be clear, I'm with you that they could have been pals, I just don't think they overlapped in the loft for long enough for that to be the canon case. Of course like you say it's about what we vibe with chemistry-wise and potential and I totally get that, something not being canon doesn't mean much in this (post-)postmodern world. And I'm nothing if not a hoe for any and all Santana friendships.

And that said, I do feel like the Blaine and Santana dynamic is lacking. It always just felt like the friendship with the least of anything within the Klaine-Brittana quartet. The canon stuff I can think of, while not all that negative is still the two of them being at least lowkey annoyed at each other. Idk, like you I like Blaine just fine and again, Santana friendships hoe. I just felt like they might be more wlw-mlm hostility rather than solidarity lol. In a lighthearted way, of course. They don't have beef, they're just the least tight bond in the Klaine-Brittana quartet. I think both Santana and Brittany have sweet friendships with Kurt and the Sunshine Twins were rather lowkey in season 4 but at least there's an actual dynamic there. I guess I just wanted more of Blaine and Santana to be able to say what their relationship would be like. We can ponder and HC, though.

I really appreciated this Anon, both tone-wise and honestly just how straight up it is. You don't need to write essays to justify your interests! That's your reading and that's more than enough. Sometimes it's really just the chemistry between characters. We're all just drawn to different things and the way you explained it to me was really cool, so thanks for that. Cheers to Adam!

[anghraine]

I’ve been thinking of Denethor and Faramir’s more spectacular abilities, and while LOTR’s magic systems are very soft (which is fine!), I nevertheless find it entertaining to try and figure out what’s going on with them.

Especially for fic purposes.

I know it comes up in some of the ancillary texts, but I’m mostly thinking of what we see in LOTR. So. Here’s what comes to mind:

ETA: it’s long and rambling, but there’s a summary at the end.

- Their abilities extend beyond general insightfulness. For one, these abilities are attributed to Númenor; Tolkien said that Númenóreans were almost indistinguishable from Elves in powers of mind. More importantly, multiple characters explicitly describe Denethor and Faramir as seeing into others’ minds (Gandalf in particular is very clear about this).

- Direct proximity is apparently not necessary (though it might be helpful; Faramir orders Gollum to look at him in his most overt use of his abilities). Gandalf says that Denethor can read the thoughts of people from a distance, if he exerts his will to do so. 

(My question here is if the ability is relatively passive with people immediately before them, but takes exertion from a distance, or if it always requires deliberate effort.)

- Gandalf says it’s “dangerous” to try deceiving Denethor, and Gollum squeals in pain when he lies to Faramir. 

(I’m particularly unclear if this one is the result of active effort or just an aspect of their being.)

- It’s more tenuous, but there seems to also be some power of command built in; Faramir is repeatedly described as having a special ability to command both animals and people, and is the only person in his party who can control his horse when the Ringwraiths go after them—he’s even able to get his horse to ride towards the Ringwraiths. His soldiers hold together as long as he’s around and conscious; Gandalf implies that he’s going up against the Witch-king in some amorphous way.

(Again: active or passive?)

- Their abilities do have limitations. Faramir says that Gollum’s mind is largely closed to him, and isn’t 100% sure of what Éowyn feels about him. However, Gollum isn’t able to wholly close him out; Faramir sees “clearly in his mind” that Gollum knows something about Cirith Ungol that he’s not saying, that malice is eating at him, and that he’s committed murder before. Faramir also knows a lot of what’s going on in Éowyn’s head, just not everything. Denethor is outclassed by Gandalf (duh). 

- There’s some sort of ... combat component?? We see it with Denethor and Gandalf’s mental fencing, and then later with Aragorn and the Mouth of Sauron; Aragorn does some mind thing and the Mouth complains that he’s being attacked.

- Speaking of Aragorn, he seems to know quite a lot about Faramir’s state of mind and being despite never having interacted with him. IMO it reads as quite similar to Faramir knowing so much about Éowyn; they both have heard some things from other people, but know much more than they really could have been told. 

(At the same time, I’m not sure that Aragorn’s powers of mind operate identically to theirs. If they do, he uses them much more sparingly. Maybe it’s a personal choice, maybe it’s just not as much his family’s thing and takes more effort, maybe it seems less pervasive with him just because we see so much more of him, idk.)

- One of the things I wonder about is how closely related it is to what e.g. Galadriel does. Faramir’s interrogation of Gollum seems roughly similar, though more limited. Later, we see that Galadriel, Elrond, and Celeborn (iirc) can sort of ... commune in thought or exchange thoughts or something like that, instead of talking. We don’t know if Faramir or Denethor could do that with anyone afaik; it’s hard to think of anyone they would have done it with (probably not each other!), though perhaps there’s an element of it in Aragorn’s healing.

I’m also wondering if ... I mean, it seems unlikely that they had actual training (esp Denethor). Maybe part of the reason why Denethor and Faramir are picking people’s minds 24/7 is that they don’t know how not to, and encountering an Elf with similar kinds of powers would be really weird and uncomfortable for all concerned. 

- There’s also a way in which they’re able to bring pure willpower to bear; Denethor trusted his abilities to withstand Sauron, and Tolkien remarks that he wasn’t wholly wrong, since Sauron was unable to dominate him—partly because Denethor had the right to use the palantír, but firstly because of his own mental power. Aragorn is able to challenge Sauron through the Orthanc-stone (again, both through willpower and rightful possession) though it’s a major effort. Aragorn attributes Faramir’s resistance to the Black Breath to his willpower.

- I’m not 100% sure about this one, but there seems some kind of ... idk, charisma bonus? Pippin takes one look at Faramir and is just kind of bowled over by his Númenoreanness and Elvishness; it’s less ‘high’ than Aragorn’s, but also more immediate, and Pippin’s all ‘I would follow him aNYWHERE’ before they’ve even met.

(This seems potentially related to the command-over-man-and-beast thing.)

- A sort of open question is what Sam’s and Pippin’s association of Denethor and Faramir with wizards (specifically Gandalf) is about. It happens twice (and Gandalf also lumps himself in with Denethor, though he’s naturally stronger). It’s just kind of ... huh?? Gandalf certainly has some greater ability of this kind, given his interactions with Denethor. It’s also limited in its own way, because iirc he had to threaten Gollum to get the whole story out of him, but a) Maiar are hardly omnipotent, even more powerful ones than Olórin, and b) his natural powers have been circumscribed anyway.

Nevertheless, why Denethor and Faramir have a ‘likeness’ to freaking Maiar is nowhere explained and I’m just ... okay, Tolkien. Fine. Wait, actually, what?! 

Well, the House of the Stewards are descendants of Elros in multiple drafts of the Appendices (though not via Elendil’s direct male line), and in pragmatic terms it’s likely that any house like theirs would actually be descended from Elros many times over. So ... idk, maybe some of Melian’s powers diffused through the Elrosian houses of Númenor, and their ancestors’ share crops up now and again in the family. So their abilities would be much more restricted than an actual Maia’s, but of the same kind. Then again, maybe it’s some other ... thing.

Anyway, tl;dr—my ultimate thoughts atm are basically:

By virtue of their Númenórean throwback...ness, Denethor and Faramir have a wide range of powerful mental abilities that can be resisted, but only wholly overcome by someone more powerful than they are. Beyond some degree of mind-reading, either or both seem able to detect lies, exert command over people and animals, resist external domination (Denethor and Faramir to Ar-Pharazôn: RIP but we’re different), and participate in some kind of mental combat. Aragorn at least partially shares in these abilities, though he has others of his own, like the kingly healing. Their abilities and air are also associated with Maiar, especially Gandalf, for some unknown reason, though they are obviously much more limited. It’s not clear how much deliberate exertion goes into using their abilities, though at least some of them take effort.

(I still have a lot of questions!!!)

[roublardise]

my "Crowley isn't attracted to women" take

for @spnprideweek - day 2 - mlm

cw: dicussion of homophobia & transphobia all in all I wanted to highlight how canon gay Crowley is bc I love him 💕 thank u spn for Crowley even tho he deserved better

in the last weeks I've realized there's a huuge consensus in the fandom for pansexual Crowley. if you're pan or not and wanna hc Crowley as pan, power to you! but what's bothering me is the non-discussion of it all. the way it seems obvious for everyone. whereas, to me, Crowley has been canonically gay all this time.....

disclaimer: I'm aware Mark Sheppard alledgely said he saw Crowley as pansexual, however I can't even take these words for canon without context. Especially not when a year later he'd say Crowley's sexuality didn't matter. The way Mark Sheppard talks about characters' sexuality is more a "why are people making a big deal let them be" than "the character doesn't care." Moreover, actors pov can't be taken as canon imo. Jensen Ackles thought Dean straight for so long when Dean's been bi all this time as well. Sometimes actors are biased by their own experiences & stereotypes!

disclaimer #2: on god I don't wanna start discourse lmao. I just wanna share my silly thoughts about a tv show & question the way Crowley's sexuality is written in this silly homophobic tv show. don't @ me about what's making you think Crowley is indisputably pansexual bc I assure you I already know your points

That being said, here's why I think Crowley is a bear, a gay man, a trans gay man actually, a homosexual, who isn't attracted to women & some food for thoughts about why the unquestioned consensus towards pan Crowley could have roots in both homophobia & panphobia.

I don't think we can think of Crowley as your usual demon. We know too much about Crowley's life as a human, and the numerous ways in which he acts un-demony, almost humanly after. Considering him simply like a demon with no concept of gender preference who would be pan “by default” wouldn’t be right with his character. But we also can't question his sexuality in the exact same way we would a human's.

It also can't be thought in the same way as angels': as once-humans demons do have a concept of gender. Crowley especially cares a lot about his gender presentation and the way he's addressed. Not only does he literally sell his soul for a bigger d*ck as a human ; as a demon he uses the same vessel where other demons are shown to move once they had to leave one ; and for the few hours Crowley's possessing a woman, he clearly states he should still be referred to as king.

This will all be used for homophobic & transphobic jokes in the show, but I'll get back to that later on. Gender does matter to Crowley's identity, and I think it could be extended to his sexuality.

I've seen numerous descriptions of it all saying Crowley's sexuality was "ambiguous" and I guess it is, as he never explicitly used any label. However "ambiguous" doesn't mean bi or pan. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact we can't draw a clear-cut conclusion of his sexuality.

Imo we can actually draw a clear-cut conclusion of Crowley's sexuality but yeh, I'm getting there.

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Let's take a look at canon events around Crowley & sexuality!

His character introduction is him enjoying making a homophobe man kiss him for a deal

It is rumoured that he was a demon's lover (Lilith's)

He heavily flirts with Bobby

He french kisses Bobby for a deal and takes a pic

He never kisses a woman on screen (tell me if I forgot anyone!)

He flirts with every single man he sees, and even more strongly when it's making the other uncomfortable

The other parent of Crowley's son is never mentioned nor even brought up

He has two orgies that we know of

He has sex with a demon who's possessing a woman (Lola) when he was addicted to human blood

He dates, has sex with, and asks Dean to rule Hell with him. He's in love with Dean

On late spn he drinks fruity drinks

He flirts with and implies he had sex with an angel (Naomi)

He flirts with Death (Billie)

He's into BDSM

I'm not gonna go into details with all the sexual stuff he says bc there's a lot.... But it's always about gay sex. (once again, if I'm forgetting smth pls tell me nicely)

Now, with all that I'd like to question specifically the elements people use to say Crowley is canonically attracted to women.

He has two orgies that we know of

There’s the one Crowley has while he’s himself possessing a woman ; iirc it’s a foursome with two other men and one woman. Crowley still counts as a King, as the show makes sure we know, admitedly this dialogue implies we should still think of him as a not-very-manly-man.

Honestly, if one is convinced Crowley is attracted to women based on this scene.. okay. Personally I don’t see it because the orgy is unplanned, it’s an opportunity Crowley takes. Is he even attracted to the two other men?? Who knows. We don’t even know if Crowley even touches the other woman, there’re so many ways to have group sex. Even if he did, having sex with one woman doesn’t make it impossible for him to be homosexual.

The second orgy is with Dean. Crowley describes it then: “We've done extraordinary things to triplets.” It’s interesting how before I went to check, I thought it was clear the triplets were women. But not at all! I’ve been tricked by heteronormativity myself. So this is up to interpretation. Even though the way the show doesn’t make sure we know the triplets were women is pretty telling (as I’ll talk about later).

It is rumoured that he was Lilith's lover

Well, this is a rumour. In this relationship Crowley would know Lilith as a demon possessing a woman, and Lilith would know Crowley as a demon possessing a man as well. Who's even to say they met in their vessels to sleep together. That's the kind of cases in which the ambiguity of Crowley human/demon situation makes it impossible to draw any kind of conclusion towards Crowley's attraction to women. Also if anything Lilith is clearly a lesbian lmao.

He has sex with Lola when he was addicted to human blood

Same thing here, the relationship is one of demon/demon. Though we do now they do meet in their vessels to sleep together. Besides that, the sex happens while Crowley is at a low point. She's the one bringing him human blood, which makes the sex more of a transaction than anything. It does fit a very grey area of consent which would be fair to question.

We can't know for sure whether the demon possessing the woman was a woman as well, but let's say she was: 1/ Crowley having sex once or twice with a woman doesn't prevent him from being homosexual. 2/ What is he seeing if not a demon's true form? 3/ Wasn't he in a self-destructive mental state?

It's a stretch, imo, to assume Crowley was attracted to her.

He flirts with and had sex with Naomi / flirts with Billie

This one is so ridiculous to me bc Naomi is an angel and as a demon, Crowley sees her true form. We don't even know who was her vessel when they had sex.

The flirt thing is interesting however, bc iirc Naomi and Billie are the only "women" we see Crowley actually flirt with. During the orgies or the demon sex there's no flirt involved. It's interesting bc, as Cas would say: "Naomi's vessel is a woman. Naomi is an angel."

Same case for Billie who's a reaper then Death. Spn is pretty unclear about how the whole thing works but we know reapers are kind of angels. In any case, I won't go as far as saying Billie has any connection to gender.

Moreover, the way Crowley flirts with them is pretty light next to everything else Crowley says to men. It's pretty personal, I'm aware, but I do relate a lot with the way Crowley flirts with them VS how I flirt with men just because (and I'm a lesbian).

Anyway! Both Naomi and Billie are supernatural creatures, which brings the count of women Crowley flirts with to... zero.

-> What I take from all that is that Crowley is attracted to men for sure ; to angels and demons ; and doesn't care about the genitalia involved in the sex he has. We have nothing about the kind of relationships he had as a human. His gender presentation matters a lot to him. The only long-term commitment he has is with Dean. I wouldn't even say he had a committed relationship with Gavin's other parent bc we don't know anything about them.

----------------

But what's my deal with homosexual Crowley? One can wonder, if Crowley doesn't care about bodies, doesn't that mean he can still be written as pan?

No! First because sexual attraction isn't about genitalia (even if transphobes would argue the contrary but they're transphobic so...). And second, well....

I would refer to this point as "how do I know Crowley isn't attracted to women? bc Dean is"

I'm convinced that if the show wanted to write Crowley as anything other than a gay man, it would have been way more obvious.

This is a show who wrote Dean catcalling a faceless woman on the street, for no other reason than to remind the viewers Dean was attracted to women & to balance it with the following homoerotic scene.

One could say spn doesn't have lots of women characters to begin with, but that's my point exactly: when spn wants to show attraction towards women, they do find women for people to be attracted to. Hell, they even give Gavin some girlfriend but never ever bring up the topic of Gavin's other parent. Even though an entire episode is dedicated to learning about Crowley's past.

What's important to understand Crowley's sexuality isn't the people he slept with ; it's the people he doesn't show interest in.

The absence of something is the presence of the thing, blablabla. It's a way to look at homosexuality that heteronormativity makes hard to see because, unconciously, we don't tend to question attraction towards the expected gender. One would ask for a 10 pages essay on why a character is gay, but one would need only a 2 sec kiss to assure a character's heterosexuality or attraction towards the expected gender.

----------------

In Crowley's case, his attraction to men is a huge part of his character right from the beginning (thanks god, at least no one's questioning that). Spn as a show that hears what the fans are saying and twists writing accordingly, is perfectly aware of that. Yet rather than pushing women at him along the course of the show to remind everyone how Not Gay Crowley is - the opposite happens.

Yeh, Lola, Naomi, Billie, they all happen in the later seasons. But even then, the show somehow can't write Crowley as attracted to a human woman.

What happens then is: not only does Crowley fall for Dean ; he engages in some BDSM play with Lucifer : and he switches from drinking only the finest Scotch to fruity cocktails.

The BDSM thing as well as the drink thing are choices rooted in stereotypes, that's how spn is! But it does canonize Crowley's homosexuality. They're depriving him of his "masculinity" as the show goes on, because they purposely write him as homosexual. I don't think spn would have ever written a bi or pan character that way.

We learned a few days ago that Crowley died in a gutter. He died in a gutter for a bigger d*ck. I'm just gonna refer to Oscar Wilde & Mika on this : "some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars."

The "referred to as king" scene isn't about Crowley being a demon and so not caring about gender - it's the opposite. Other demons are the ones poiting out Crowley's vessel. This is a transphobic joke. It's the demon edition of the "gay boy in a dress" transmisogynistic trope.

Viewers aren't supposed to be on Crowley's side ; we're supposed to be giggling with the other demons while Crowley is being emasculated. Crowley gets a woman vessel because he's a not-very-manly-man, because he's a trans man, because he's homosexual.

And I know that bc Dean is written as bi, and all they're doing is reaffirming the way he does like women while being extra subtle with his love for men.

Meanwhile Crowley is losing influence and power, loses his authority as he loses his throne in Hell, gets humiliated by Lucifer, until all his character revolves around is his love for Dean. The way Crowley is then protrayed as some lovesick ex who can't move on is, imo, a straight man fantasy. Crowley's love is both used as predatory and as a tool to validate Dean's Peak Masculinity.

Spn has been burying their gays all along, and Crowley was right there being punished for not only being in love with Dean but for not being attracted to women. For never being able to be a "normal" guy. For never being able to be seen as a "normal" guy. For checking every homophobic stereotypes in the books. Crowley as a human dies because he's a trans man. Crowley as a demon dies because he's homosexual.

----------------

That's what leads me to be uncomfortable with the way the fandom seems to have a consensus towards pansexual Crowley. (Once again: idc about people's personal hc of Crowley as pan, I just want to think critically about the way no one thinks twice about it & accepts it as canon so easily. Hell, just bc I dared to ask what started the pan Crowley confirmation I got accused of erasing his pansexuality. All I did was ask a question.)

To me, it feels like erasing everything his character went through because he was gay. And it seems to be taken from a reasoning which is going to assume Crowley is attracted to women.

I mean: the reasoning would go "oh, Crowley clearly has a non-straight sexuality -> he's attracted to men -> he's pan" His attraction to women being accepted by default, without needing any backup. And when I look at the canon I see nothing implying he'd be attracted to women. Taking Crowley's attraction to women for granted is following an heteronormative thinking.

Being into people isn't all about who one sleeps with. It's about love. And when we look at what spn shows about Crowley's close relationships, the only meaningful one he got is with Dean. When Rowena wants payback for Crowley making her kill Oskar, she goes for his son.

And it's SO interesting to me because if angels can't be in love because they don't have a soul - can demons? as they're beings with a destroyed soul? And if so, how powerful of Crowley to still fall in love with Dean Winchester.... the power of gay love :) (Crowley 🤝 Cas)

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To conclude all this with some more stuff to think about if, like me, you love questioning everything:

While it's not wrong per se to hc Crowley as pan, it can be worth questioning what's making us so sure we collectively just vibe with it? To me there's a few things: - As I was saying: heteronormative bias - Crowley being a non-fully-human character - Crowley being masculine (despite the show's attempts to erase that) - Crowley being into BDSM - Crowley flirting and making sexual remarks in every context

These, unconsciously, gives a vibe of a character who's "outside" of the gender norm, not making big deal of their sexuality, not even questioning it. This creates this idea of "ambiguity" around Crowley's sexuality. The way Crowley particularly seems to be really chill about sex, is a demon (so what does he know about gender?), and heavily flirty, ... is what most people will link to pansexuality. That doesn't mean thinking of Crowley as pan is being problematic™ ; this means in western medias that's what fills the "pansexual character" imagery (like basically: the Jack Harkness type).

However, when we look at it like that, none of these elements are defining of pansexuality. None of them are excluding him from homosexuality. If not stereotypes.

That's where it gets personal ; but it does make me feel like the huge consensus towards a pansexual Crowley (when there is no clear-cut evidence of it) is erasing the complexity of homosexual experiences. As I said at the begining: I'm happy if pansexual people can relate to Crowley ; everone's free to headcanon. But saying Crowley is canonically pansexual is a stretch - and a take rooted in homophobic stereotypes.

Imo Crowley may have been created with all these traits pushing towards a pan reading of his character. However, as the show went, he was clearly written as a homosexual man. The changes in his portrayal took a turn to be specifically homophobic. He gets imagery that only strictly homosexual characters got (such as drinking fruity cocktails like Aaron. Meanwhile Dean, on the same scene, is allowed beer & whiskey.)

We're used to taking spn's homophobic rep and jokes to make it our own. Yet it seems, when it comes to Crowley, the fandom doesn't see it.

Sometimes people aren't attracted to the gender heteronormativity expects them to be attracted to.......... sometimes people are gay and it's not an umbrella term.

[bootlegsymphony]

How localization altered the nuances in several Komaeda/Hinata lines: an incomplete list.

Or alternatively, the thread could be read as “how Komaeda/Hinata’s relationship was presumably intended to be more narratively significant in the Japanese original than the English version made you believe”.

I’ll have to be honest my Japanese is pretty shit and I never experienced a playthrough in Japanese text, but whenever I cared enough to inspect some scenarios from a Japanese LP, I often noticed how certain tones/emotions/subtexts were insinuated differently than the English version with some Koma/Hina lines. It didn’t feel like a mere coincidence. The Japanese lines were in general...rather subtle and rich in nature, while the official translation sometimes tends to obscure or diminish those nuances.

It’s nowhere near a comprehensive write-up by any means but I’ll list whatever I’ve gathered.

Oh, and I’m not covering the aborted love confession in his last FTE since it was too explicit.

Starting with some wordplay. Some people might have the impression that Komaeda says “friends” a lot, and were baffled when Komaeda made such a huge deal out of becoming friends with Hinata in Island Mode. But truth is, he scarcely ever used the proper word for friend, which is “友達”(Tomodachi) . During Prologue, Ch.1 and his earlier FTEs, the word he actually used was “仲間”(Nakama), which should be more accurately translated into “ally, comrade”. Nakama can be casually said among any group of people who share a similar objective or same preference of certain things, but no interpersonal affinity is implied; yet Tomodachi is more cordial and intimate. Komaeda made a very clear distinction between Nakama and Tomodachi as he only used the latter twice iirc: one was during the Island Mode ending, one was in UTDP; both with Hinata. He views true friendship dearly, and Hinata in both endings was the only person he could call a friend.

In Komaeda’s third FTE where he was demonstrating an imaginary situation regarding how his luck works, he said sth like “at the hospital you met a lovely nurse and became a lovey dovey couple”. Many would have thought he was alluding to meeting Mikan. That’s most likely not the case, since Mikan’s title in the original was “保健委員”, which should be more faithfully translated into “health committee member”. In this scenario Komaeda used “看護士”, which is a gender neutral term of “nurse”. Once again the translation reduced the differences.

A rather infamous and anecdotal one: during Komaeda’s first FTE where he managed to share some pure-hearted exchanged with Hinata, instead of “Ultimate Spiky Hair”, he actually teased him with “Ultimate Tsun Tsun Hair”. Ya know, having both Komaeda and Monokuma mentioning Hinata as a tsundere is arguably important.

During the Ch.1 trial when Komaeda had a breakdown and revealed his motive and methods, Hinata was in disbelief. In original he asked himself, “本当に…あの狛枝あのか？” Which could be translated into, “Is he really...that Komaeda (that I knew)?” The emphasis on “that Komaeda” might imply that Hinata couldn’t quite associate this maniac person in front of him with that dependable buddy he spent time with. He was in slight denial and wasn’t ready to move on from his perception of “that Komaeda” just yet. However, in English it was “is he...is he the * real * Nagito?” as if he was able to acknowledge that the person in trial is real, yet he was somewhat ready to ditch the image of pre-trial Komaeda he once had. The change was subtle but noteworthy.

Similarly, just before Komaeda’s reveal, when Hinata was forced to implicate Komaeda, in English he reminisced Komaeda’s company, “We investigated together, you were so kind...” Meanwhile in Japanese it went “一緒に捜査したお前が...あんなに優しいお前が...” which could be roughly translated into “You that investigated together with me, you that were so kind...”. While both conveys Hinata’s emotion that he was conflicted and heartbroken, the extra emphasis on “you” in the original implied it’s not just the memory of Komaeda’s company, but Komaeda himself that Hinata somewhat treasured dearly before the trial. (Prior to the trial, Komaeda’s presence was important to Hinata, and it’s implied he might have never let that go. )

Before every trial Hinata had a monologue commemorating the victim. In Komaeda’s, he remembered the scene Komaeda woke him up on the beach. The matched English text was, “When we first met, I thought he was a nice guy.” which was rather casual and nonchalant. However in Japanese it was considerably more serious and verbose, it went “最初に会った時は、人当たりがいい好青年だと思ってたけど” which could be translated into “When we first met, I thought he was a fine young man who left a good impression”. Note that the “fine young man” phrase, “好青年” is rather formal and doesn’t make a common appearance in colloquial usage. In addition, Hinata had to double the emphasis that Komaeda both left a favorable first impression and generally felt like a good-hearted person, which just, further supported the hypothesis that pre-trial Komaeda truly left a strong impression on him, or how much he was still conflicted.

Upon Komaeda’s body discovery, Hinata went on with another long-ass monologue. In English version, at some point he said “Deep down I believed...that when the killings finally ended, I’d never see this guy again”, as if he never wished to cross path with Komaeda outside the killing game. Yet in original it was “こいつがいなくなるのわ、このふざけたコロシアイに終���符が打たれる時だと” which translates into something like “Deep down I believed, when he’s no more, it’d be the moment these foolish killings coming to an end”. Notice that the reversed causality considerably changes the mood. The Japanese line is up to interpretations but to me it has a notable sense of “his departure would mark the end of the world as we know it”.

Hinata also referred to Komaeda as “あの狛枝(that Komaeda)” repeatedly regarding his first reactions to Komaeda’s body discovery. Which was debatably a deliberate choice of word to echo #4’s situation in trial one. It could be argued that he’s reluctant to let go of memories of Bad Komaeda similarly as he was reluctant to let go of pre-trial Good Komaeda in Trial 1. Now that both were gone.

I was unsure of some certain expressions thus I consulted a friend who’s not in the DR fandom. I might have omitted some other instances and would add to the post later on.

[redteabaron]

Different anon… Here is the thing though, Drogo/Dany isn’t a parallel to sansan. People who make that comparison either lack severe reading comprehension, which is not surprising for this fandom, or they want to use it to validate sansan. (Tyrion was the older guy Sansa was forced to marry. Dany and Sansa have opposite journeys and their marriages are a part of that.) But sansan’s mirror is Jorah/Dany. Book!Jorah is an older guy who has a creepy obsession with a teenage girl. He dumps his trauma on her, he projects onto her. But he is also her advisor, her confidante early on, his protector. There are also the same BaTB elements sansans love to talk about. She even refers to him as her bear. But he was lusting after her ever since they met and then he assaulted her. He forced himself on her. She is uncomfortable with his actions, but she doesn’t possess the necessary language and she doesn’t understand consent (we know this because of how she frames her relationship with Drogo but also how she expected Lhazareen women to be ok, even be thankful for being married to their rapists, and her dubcon relationship with Irri) so she recontextualize what happened and chastise Jorah for kissing her not because she is a teenager and he shouldn't and she didn’t consent to but because she is his Queen. That's the language she has, so she expresses her discontent, disapproval, rejection with that. Sandor was verbally, psychologically, physically abusive to Sansa but he also occasionally protected her in King’s Landing. He lusted after her, made sexually inappropriate comments to an 11 year old child but he was also the only one in KL to have honest conversations with her. Then he assaulted her, held her at knife point. She was afraid of him kissing her, killing her, she had nightmare about the assault which she clearly registered as a sexual one despite what his fans claim his intentions were. Sansa has a habit of romanticizing/redefining these things. Sansa thinks Arys Oakheart was preferable, that he was kind because he beat her less hard than the other Kingsguard. She remembers Tyrion as someone who were kind to her, someone better than Joffrey even though he molested her and she had him in her nightmares too. She separates Littlefinger and Petyr in her mind because just like with the other men before him the thought of her sometimes-protector at the same time being her abuser is too much for her. Just like Dany she recontextualizes what the Hound did to her and turns the assault into a song to cope with it.

These two pairings has the same dynamic, the difference is fandom’s response to it. (The slight differences are that Dany had actual amiable feelings for Jorah -not romantic love or sexual feelings but friendly, sisterly love for him- and she as a Queen had a lot more agency than Sansa as a prisoner had. She isn't as powerless as Sansa, she could have easily banished him, punished him, even ordered his death.) But no one in fandom writes essay after essay why and how could and should Jorah and Dany end up together. It’s an outrageous suggestion. Dany is a main character, she is the heroine. She is a Queen. Why should she ever end up with someone as lowly as Jorah? Someone as old, as ugly as Jorah? But Sansa, meh she is not an important character. And she needs to be punished, first because she was a child making childish mistakes. Secondly, she is shallow, she refused to be raped by her older, ugly husband. So she needs to end up with an older ugly guy to humble her. Even when the author expressed his distaste of the trope of a noble girl running away with a lowly guy in medieval stories, nah that doesn’t matter here. Sansa being of high nobility, a princess won’t have any factor at all who she’s gonna end up with. They had to keep assuring themselves that she is not a main character so she could even end up with a villainous character, that she is not a Stark so she could end up with people who hurt/fight against her family. The hypocrisy of this fandom, and their selective reading is most clear when it comes to these two “couples”. Almost all sansans (whether it is the actual shippers or those who think it’ll happen because well it’s Sansa what else she’s gonna do besides being a reward bride for some hideous guy) hate Jorah/Dany (as they should) while trying to justify how and why Sansa should end up with the hound. Let's forget the abuse and pedophile, let's assume those never happened, even then it makes no sense. There is not a narratively satisfying way, a logical reason how Sansa could be with Sandor. But they ignore all that because it doesn't fit in with their vision, with their interpretation of the books and characters. Because admitting Sansa is a main character and more than a reward for their pedo fave has a ripple affect, it challenges all their theories, they all crumble. And they just can't let go of their 2 decades old theories, they just have to be right, they must be right. That's why they all took the show's ending as a personal offense, especially the QiTN Sansa. I just can't wait for the books!

Yeah, agreed. jorah and sandor are mirrors of each other. I mean I hope they both die without any glory or honor, personally. I don't really care if they have sacrificial deaths for the greater good - or whatever framing the show had intended - jorah and sandor were also whitewashed and made more pitiable/likeable.

Whenever dany x dr*go is used to validate literally ANY pairing, I am suspish. In particular when we acknowledge that dany absolutely couldn't consent - she was 13 iirc - and was sold off by her abusive brother to a man twice her age, but Sansa reimagining her trauma about Sandor's assault to something less traumatic is considered being hateful to Sandor because he's unattractive. (And I never really listen whenever ppl give me shit or deny it was assault; pertaining to my job, I'm pretty fucking aware what assault or intention-to-assault looks like, and I think most ppl do to, they just seem to lose awareness when it comes to their ships or certain characters).

I think it has to do with Sansa being the archetypal "Pretty Popular Girl" - the one who like feminine things, sort of fussy, likes feminine colors and just in general is feminine. She seems to remind people of the classic mean popular girl we saw popularized in 1990s-2000s high school movies - the one who gets her comeuppance in the end when the non-feminine girl somehow triumphs in whatever way, or she's the one who learns her lesson and stops being quite so feminine, or hooks up with a most-popular guy. The Mean/Pretty Popular girl has to be humbled in some fashion. Fans who don't like her, tend to view this as a way for her to pay for the error of her ways.

Like being a prisoner of war. Or not wanting to fuck tyrion. Or not wanting to run away with sandor.

I mean...all of asoiaf, beyond the politics and magic, is all about trauma and the human response to it - which is varied and depends on circumstances, personalities, and a lot of other things. One of the more vile things GOT did was whitewash jorah and tyrion the way they did imo. Jorah was a predator, circling Dany, regardless of whether she thought of him fondly, he just happened to not be violent towards her - she cries when he forces a kiss on her. Tyrion was a predator who molested her when he acknowledged she was a child "but he wanted her anyway". I've seen a lot of ppl react more sympathetically towards Dany. I haven't seen much recrimination against dany for refusing him the way we see sansa being hated for not wanting tyrion or sandor, hell, even petyr.

But - Sansa, imo, in the larger or at least circles of the fandom that have been around longer, is a more ideal whipping girl for the outlet a lot of ppl crave. See again the popular girl trope. She can't fight, she has no magical creatures, she is not a Chosen One of any kind. She has her wits and her ability to observe and adapt who has no choice but to navigate survival surrounded by people who have more agency and power than she does. That's it. I guess in a world of amazing abilities and magic and warfare, this is very boring, particularly when she doesn't weaponize her femininity or sexuality, where she's beautiful without being dangerous or magical or erotic. And I guess ppl feel that because of that, she needs to be punished for not being as extraordinary as she should be, OR, because she was the "Mean Popular Girl" (she wasn't) she must be humbled, and the ones to do it are the ones she refuses.

It's really delicious knowing they don't get "to have her" 🤢. Hopefully they just both fuck off to the ends of the world or die, idc they deserve zero thought.

[locktobre]

In your Barbie-verse, what was it like for Rip growing up, and when he was an adult, post-getting out of fairy prison? Also, what happened to his mom? In the movies, we don't see her, and iirc, she was never mentioned, so I just assumed she died at some point, or Break was just a single dad.- That PCS Anon

Rip backstory is my favorite and I sure have a lot of it lmao

Rip’s mother was Barbra “Barb” Bloom, and she died when he was 9 (his brother Chuck was 11). But up to that point, Rip actually had a pretty good childhood. Barb also has a power, she was pretty sure, but it was so nebulous she could neither prove nor quite define it--either the ability to always find what she was looking for, or simply being in the right place at the right time, one of the two. Break didn’t believe it, and she didn’t bring it up a lot, since again, she couldn’t really explain the feelings she got, she just knew that some moments were special.

When Rip first started seeing things, she thought he was just being an imaginative kid, but then she realized it could actually be magic when she noticed that like... Rip doesn’t really have that great of an imagination. He’s more analytical, he doesn’t really color outside the lines or tell lies or get in trouble. Idk how to explain it, but sometimes ppl just seem like the type to say anything, you know? And then there’s ppl you can’t imagine ever lying or doing anything crazy or anything like that.

Anyway, so they were in it together while she was alive, and he had her there to talk about what he was seeing. But then she died, and Rip took it very hard. Everyone did, but Rip lost the one person he could really talk about magic with. And on top of that, he didn’t even know if he believed in magic anymore, bc if Barb was in the right place at the right time, she wouldn’t have been hit by that car, would she? So he doesn’t know what to believe, bc if she was wrong about her magic, then was she wrong about his? How does he know that he’s not just crazy? And he can’t talk to Break about it, bc Break does not believe. Chuck doesn’t really, either, but he’s nicer about it.

So that all leads to sort of a downward spiral as Rip grows up, bc he doesn’t always trust his perceptions. And that leads to the desperation to just jump thru a flyway when he’s 17, he was really not in a good place at the time. I touched on it in my other post, but he was gone for a couple weeks, and Break legitimately thought he was dead. And then when he tried to explain about the flyways and getting lost, of course that just pissed off Break even more bc it’s just more of Rip’s bullshit, right? So Rip eventually just says he ran away and then came back when he ran out of money (which is kinda-sorta the truth, if you strip the magic out). So Break’s furious with him (and so is Chuck), he’s grounded forever... But that’s actually a good turning point for him, bc he met Lilliana. And after the flyways, and Lilliana giving him some (begrudging) answers, he knows he’s not crazy. His friendship with Lilliana only lasts a few months, but by the time she cuts him off he’s friends with Finn, who may not believe him but also doesn’t fight him at every turn when he brings up magic, he’s more like lmao ok buddy whatever you say, which is honestly better than what Rip gets at home. And Finn does come around awhile to like wait no shit, really? For real? Which Rip can’t really believe but he’s so grateful.

Anyway so that’s up to 1989. Fast forward a couple years to 1991. Finn and Anne have been together for awhile, but Finn’s kind of like... He doesn’t want to break up with Anne, he still loves her a lot, but since their relationship has to be a secret, and it can’t really be any other way, it’s starting to wear on him. And he’s started to develop some romantic feelings for Rip that he wants to pursue, in part bc it would be much easier, honestly. But when he brings this up to Anne, she really doesn’t want to break up with him, either, so she says that he should just date Rip, too. And Finn’s like and... you’d be fine with that? And Anne’s like I will learn to be, anyway. And Finn’s not really sure if this will work or if Rip will even go for it. Rip is hesitant but he’s open to basically whatever so he’s like we can try it for awhile, I guess. Anne really makes an effort to be chill but it is hard on her and Rip’s like maybe we shouldn’t do this and Anne’s like I think the problem is that we don’t really know each other. Like Rip and Anne aren’t really friends, they’ve obviously met before but never really hung out one on one so Rip really knows her as Finn’s girlfriend, and she knows him as Finn’s weird friend. So they decide to start trying to get to know each other and be friends.

Rip doesn’t talk about any magic stuff with Anne for a couple reasons, one of which is that he doesn’t want to come off any weirder than he does when he’s trying to befriend the woman, and also bc she’s a royal and Rip does not care for royals. Not bc of anything politically, he just doesn’t think they are careful enough with magic and he doesn’t trust them with it. (He doesn’t trust anyone with magic, actually. Not humans, not fairies, not anyone.) So he has to give her the edited version of events when she’s like have you dated anyone before? And Rip’s like it wasn’t really dating but I did have a brief relationship with Lilliana Roxelle and Anne’s like. You mean the French supermodel? And Rip’s like yeah and Anne’s like how did you even meet her and he’s like I crashed her NYE party. And Anne doesn’t know what to make of him, bc it’s such a wild, specific thing to say that it could be a lie but it just feels like it’s true, bc why not say something more believable if you were going to lie? Anyway Rip’s more chill about not being believed at this point bc he has one person on his side again (Finn), so he just shrugs it off. And they just kinda move on and talk about their families and not getting along with their fathers, which are very different situations but it’s enough to commiserate over, and they just keep going like that.

And at the beginning of this, remember, Anne thinks of Rip as just Finn’s weird friend. She has no idea what he sees in Rip, romantically. (Or platonically, for that matter. Like he’s fun to hang out with but why not literally anyone else?) And Rip’s not super good looking, either. Like, he’s handsome enough, but you probably wouldn’t look at him twice. (He’s Break’s son, so that kinda limits how hot he can be lmao.) But he just has something about him. Like, when you talk to him, you get his full attention, he’s really supportive and sympathetic and he always feels like he gets what you’re going thru. So Anne starts to get it, and then she’s like wait am I catching feelings for this guy? THIS guy? And yeah, she is. So the three of them actually end up dating for awhile, which is a lot more complicated but they like each other enough to make it work.

However, meanwhile, Rip has met Calissa. And she’s a mermaid, and a queen, and she’s married, and she has a kid, but... Well. The heart wants what it wants. So Rip has to break it off with Finn and Anne. He can explain to Finn about Calissa, so they could maybe still date, but he can’t really tell Anne about a mermaid, and if he doesn’t tell her she’s a mermaid he doesn’t really have a good excuse for why they can’t ever meet this other girl and it just feels weird. And it’s already complicated, he can’t be in so many complicated relationships at once. And Anne’s really confused about why Rip would break it off, until he says that the girl he wants to see is already married, and Anne’s pissed that Rip would pursue something with a married woman. And he says he knows it’s wrong but... he’s gonna do it anyway. (He can’t exactly say that she’s not in love with her husband but can’t get a divorce bc she’s a queen and it would be a political nightmare... Which might not help, anyway, but at least it’s better than interfering in a loving marriage, right? Right?) Anyway, Anne thinks he’s not the man she thought he was and she doesn’t even want to be friends with him anymore. Finn still is, but they don’t hang out the three of them pretty much ever again.

Rip has his secret relationship with Calissa, she gets pregnant, and then they don’t really know what to do bc they don’t know if it’s Caligo’s baby and it’s fine or if it’s Rip’s baby and they need to panic. But as her pregnancy progresses, she’s pretty sure it’s Rip’s bc the baby’s movement feels different, she’s pretty sure the baby has legs and not a tail. So they really start to panic. Rip obviously wants to take the baby, but he can’t just show up at home with a random kid and say that hey btw my mermaid girlfriend gave birth. Break would think he was insane. Anyway so that’s when Rip gets the idea to fake his death, which he does. And he moves down the coast a ways and raises baby Merliah for about a year, until the Gloss Angeles guard track him down.

Cue botched execution and 17 year exile in Fairytopia, and then he returns to Earth in December 2012.

And life is actually... pretty damn good. He’s reunited with Calissa and Merliah, and his dad now knows he wasn’t lying about seeing fairies and meeting a mermaid and all of that. He has a lot to contend with, re-adjustment-wise, with how much the world has changed in the intervening time, and he also has 2 other daughters he had no idea about, and then Calissa gets pregnant with twins pretty fast so there’s a lot going on, but he’s used to chaos and having to learn about new environments so he takes it in stride, pretty much. He also reconnects with Finn (at Merliah and Kylie’s urging), so he even gets his old friend back.

And then, in 2016, a year post-RNR, Finn tells Anne that Rip’s alive. Which is in response to her telling him about keeping Sloane from him, and so he takes the opportunity to say I’ve actually been keeping something from you, too. (Idk if those two secrets are roughly equal, but for the characters I’m going to say they are.) And so Anne reconnects with Rip, too, and finally gets brought into the loop and learns about Rip’s powers and what really went down with him and Calissa and all of that. Which is a big shock but also he has some helpful advice about how to approach the situation with Sloane, having done it twice himself lmao. So honestly, everything comes up roses for Rip. He gets to live the rest of his life in quiet domesticity, which is all he ever really wanted.

The ONLY thing that kinda sucks is that due to how mermaids (and fairies) age, Calissa basically looks the same for their whole marriage. So as he gets older, she looks more and more like some young trophy wife, and he hates that anyone looking at him would think he’s some weird old man lmao. (He’s only 3 years older than her in actuality.) But that’s basically the only thing that sucks. Everything else in his life is very good, bc he deserves that goddammit.

[sparklyfaerie]

I don’t normally talk about this kind of personal stuff publicly because this blog is meant to be my happy place but I’m so angry right now that I need to blow off some steam.

Putting my rant under the cut. tw for emotional abuse and unhealthy relationships.

So I was involved in a long-distance relationship for over four years. My partner and I were separated by an ocean, but for the first few months or so it was great. I really loved this person. I told them everything, including stuff that could be used against me.

We were both suffering from pretty serious depression. After about six months, I tried to end the relationship with the support of a friend. It was a pretty serious mental drain on me. My partner was suicidal and constantly threatening to harm themselves. I got a message from someone claiming to be their sister the next morning, saying that they’d spent the night in hospital after a suicide attempt. The message went on to say how much of a terrible person I was and how I was responsible for the attempt.

I felt guilt, so I took them back, and I stayed for far longer than I should have out of fear and a feeling of responsibility for this person, but also because I cared a great deal for them.

We started to talk about them moving to where I live, since they didn’t like the country they were in. As previously mentioned, we were both suffering from pretty bad depression. I had a support system of friends and family that I loved dearly, but my partner didn’t. They barely spoke to their sisters, and their relationship with their mother wasn’t great (their father wasn’t around).

And then it started happening. They slowly started demanding more and more of my time and energy. We played an MMO together, and they started getting upset when I spent time with my friends in-game. They didn’t like my friends, and my friends didn’t like them. I started spending less and less time with my friends. Eventually it all culminated in my partner demanding that we change servers, so we did.

Wherever we went (we changed servers 4-5 times, iirc), if I made a friend, my partner caused drama. It didn’t matter if they’d met the other person first--I was naturally more social and apt at making friends than they were, so people tended to respond positively to me, while my partner’s anxiety prevented them from being as engaged. Every time, without fail, something happened that caused them to want to break with the new friends. Every time, I wanted to support them since it seemed to be born of anxiety and their mental illness, so I went along with it. I regret it so much in retrospect, because there were some really good people that we met that were just tossed to the wayside because of them.

My relationship with this person started to negatively impact my relationship with my family. They got into contact with my mother over facebook and, while at the time I was very grateful that they appeared to be sticking up for me, in retrospect the things they said to her were very disrespectful. Twice. My mother and sister responded in kind, and I felt trapped in the middle. It got to the point where I was watching what I was saying around my family for fear of sparking an argument. My partner poisoned my mind against them, honestly, and it almost destroyed my relationship with my mother. She kicked me out of her house because of it, and if it weren’t for my father and grandmother, I’d have been homeless a little over a year ago. We’re only just staring to get close again.

While all this was going on, I’d gotten into treatment for my depression. I started medication and found an excellent psychologist who helped me navigate my relationships with my family and the transition between being miserable in my job at the time to being comfortable as the full-time carer of my disabled father. She encouraged me to be honest with myself about my relationships and what I wanted from them.

And then in November of last year, my partner told me they were moving to another country. That I didn’t live in.To live with a female friend that they swore they weren’t interested in. I was skeptical but tried to be supportive, since I knew how much they hated their home country, and I thought a change of scenery would be good for them.

We ‘took a break’ for a few weeks so we could focus on our mental health. My partner told me that I was too emotionally unavailable and I needed to work on it. They said that they worked so hard to be engaged with me and I didn’t reciprocate. Never mind that I picked up their hobbies even if I didn’t really like them, and was never encouraged to express my passions. I couldn’t talk about anything that reminded them of an ex. The things I occasionally brought up were dismissed as too girly (my partner was an amab nb, leaning toward the feminine, so that didn’t really make sense to me? Why would girly things be an issue?) or boring. They showed no interest in my hobbies or interests. I can’t remember a single instance in four years where they even asked me so much as how my day was.

When they asked for us to resume our relationship, they revealed that they had been sleeping with their new roommate for weeks. Now, I knew from before we got together that they were polyamorous. But I am not. We’d agreed previously that we would be mostly exclusive but they were allowed to seek attention in chat rooms and reddit etc as a compromise, but it was a condition of getting back together that I accepted that the sex would continue.

I didn’t know what to do, but at this point I was so dependent on this person as my only emotional support, and my mental health had been steadily declining, so I accepted. Within weeks, my partner told me that they were going to marry their other partner to gain citizenship in their new country. If I wanted any kind of future with them, I would have to pack up and leave my home country to move there.

That was the end. I checked out almost completely. We still talked and did things together for a few months while I tried to be comfortable with the new relationship dynamic. But I just couldn’t do it. They refused to let me interact with this other woman. I became jealous and insecure and we fought about it a lot. I was really the absolute worst version of myself.

This went on for nine months and many sessions with my psychologist before I finally worked up the nerve to walk away. This was six weeks ago.

The night that I broke it off, I received a message from my ex’s facebook profile from someone claiming to be the other partner, saying that my ex had just tried to kill themselves with a knife, and that I was a terrible person and responsible for it. And that if I ever came near them again, they would beat me. I blocked them. I remembered the last time I’d tried to walk away. I didn’t believe it.

Then the next day, the account was mysteriously unblocked, and my ex sent me a message saying that they would “give me one last chance to make it right”. This was after them lashing out at me and telling me that I was a terrible person and a bad partner. I made the mistake of engaging with them in conversation.  We argued about the things they said. They went so far as to say that my psychologist was a failure and that listening to her had made me a worse person, not better. I eventually got fed up, said goodbye, and blocked them again. 

A week or so later, the account was unblocked again, and my ex sent me a message implying that they were spying on my private conversations in discord and facebook. I’d forgotten that I’d given them my passwords a year or so before, when they demanded that I show them that I trusted them. They also said that they were going to ‘remind me from time to time’ about how horrible I was to them, and that they had other ‘trump cards’ to play.

So of course I freaked out. I changed every single password that I could think of, even for accounts they didn’t know existed. I collapsed some accounts completely. I wanted to be left alone.

Then I got an email from them a few weeks ago, saying that they couldn’t actually bring themselves to be that petty, and that they were going to leave me alone. They were deliberately using the most self-deprecating language, I think, in an attempt to make me pity them. I ignored and deleted it and hoped that that would be the end.

And then today. TODAY.

I don’t know when they sent the message. I only just noticed it today. But oh my god it made me so angry.

I saw an unread message on my Skype account (it was what we used to communicate) from a sender I didn’t know. It was my ex, who had created a new account to tell me that they had been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer and that they had a year to live. Knowing that we’d lost my grandfather two years ago to bowel cancer, and that my father is currently waiting to be screened for it.

I AM L I V I D.

They said things like “now you can be comforted that karma has come back to bite me” or something (I don’t know, this was several hours ago and I’ve deleted the message and blocked the contact). I don’t know if I believe it or not, because I know that they’ve been having health issues for a long time. But like. How dare this person say that to me? How dare they try to play on my empathy to try to get a response out of me?

I am seething. I have made a new friend since breaking things off and I’m trying to mend things with my old ones, and my mental health is improving and I’m feeling better every day. But then they appear out of the fucking woodwork and throw me into a spiral of anxiety and guilt.

But I refuse to make the mistake of engaging again. I will not allow myself to waver on this. I just want to move on with my fucking life.

I think this person knows my tumblr account, so if you’re reading this: LEAVE ME ALONE.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Superior Spider-Man #17-19, 23, 27-32 and Superior Team-Up #5, #7 Thoughts...Sorta

Because of the 2099 event coming up I have ambitions (and lord knows if I will succeed) of re-reading the 2099 centric stories published in the 2010s, chiefly Peter David’s Spider-Man 2099 solo-books. I never actually finished reading that stuff nor did I finish writing posts for each issue/arc but I’m willing to try again.

It’s been so long though and now the stuff has been collected I thought it’d be best to not simply pick up where I left off but both refresh my memory and be more of a completionist about it.

Hence I decided to skim  the Superior issues featuring Miguel O’Hara and to a lesser extent Alchemax with a mind towards the scenes featuring both. This is both to save me time (no pun intended) and because you know...fuck Superior.

As such this is far from comprehensive and I’m likely missing information but for the sake of completion I’m making these posts.

So first of all I’m not going to overly critique the inherent concept of Superior, Otto’s characterization, or anyone else’s characterization (sans 2099 relevant characters); especially as they relate to the Superior concept. It’s shit. I’ve said that endlessly before. If you are chomping at the bit to hear specifics regarding these issues then all I shall say is Slott writes Otto as cartoonish with Saturday Morning style villain dialogue whilst Yost in Team-Up, just like virtually EVERY writer sans Slott to handle the character, did better.

NO ONE hearing Otto talk as Spider-Man should be fooled into thinking he’s the real Spider-Man because he doesn’t sound anything like he did before he changed his outfit, started using more violent methods, employed supervillains as part of his Superior Six, had 4 metal arms come out of his back and had a hold gang of henchmen at his beck and call. But in spite of that at least Yost’s dialogue was more nuanced. Whilst it sounds like something Otto would say it also sounds like the Peter Parker Spider-Man merely skewed. He’s more condescending, egotistical and bluntly insulting than Peter ever was but he also doesn’t sound like a middle aged man from a 1960s comic book.

This brings us to the dialogue in general in fact. As a fan of the MC2 universe and older comics I ENJOY older style dialogue...in MC2 stories or older comics. The MC2 universe was it’s own off to the side sandbox that was deliberately trying to evoke the Silver Age, but it could break from that when appropriate. And older comics were just written by the standards of the time. Slott though his dialogue was written if anything in a more antiquated style than what the MC2 usually went for. Seriously all he’d need is to throw in some old fashioned words and social attitudes and it’d be ripped from the 1960s.

In a mainstream, main universe set title the dialogue style should be reflective of the times, whilst obviously avoiding the bad stuff regarding modern dialogue. One of my frustrations with many modern comics is that characters will speak outloud because modern standards dictate that thought balloons for anyone who isn’t the lead character of the story are bad for some asinine reason. On that front I do give Slott credit as he avoids this. He has no problem giving any character he wants internal thoughts and even still makes the lead, Otto, stand out as he has thought captions not thought balloons like everyone else. It’s just literally the word choices he makes that’s the problem. It’s inorganic even by comic book standards and is overly exposition laden. This is where editorial boxes or the recap pages could help out by getting that exposition out of the way. But instead we need to explain a story from over 20 issues earlier twice across 2 issues or alternatively just take it on faith the reader remembers the stories.

It doesn’t help that he inconsistently will use the third person narrator once in a blue moon.

The dialogue also impacts upon the characterization because frankly Miguel and Tyler Stone are...off...

In fact a lot of the characters besides Otto feel rather bland and samey because they are just actors in the plot that is being told and nothing more. Miguel is distinct for little reason beyond his use of future slang. Now I’ve only read the first trade of Spider-Man 2099 so maybe some of these terms pop up later but if Slott invented ‘bithead’ and ‘jammit’ it’s cause for cringe. The larger issue though is that Miguel’s status quo is set up by Slott but not his you know...personality. Okay in fairness he gets across Miguel has a little bit more edge to him than the regular Spider-Man and is not as prone to the same kind of humour in battle. But the latter is likely less Slott getting the character and more him just writing him pretty generically. The sarcasm, the arrogance, the sardonic aspect of Miguel is totally absent.

This is a problem if you were a 2099 fan showing up to see your fav or if this was intended as set up for a spin-off which it absolutely was. I mean shouldn’t set up for a spin-off character give you an impression of their personality. Shouldn’t you want to follow the character as opposed to the admittedly interesting situation the character is in?

But that’s Slott all over. He’s awful on characters 99% of the time but he’s good on concepts 50% of the time. The initial 2099 arc is a great microcosm of this.

Miguel wants to avert Alchemax’s evil influence in the future but we are merely TOLD that it is evil but see little evidence to corroborate that. He is willing to destroy himself, his grandfather and his family lineage to do that but then he has a change of heart. The set up for that change of heart is briefly presented and we smash cut to after it has already happened, we see none of the internal gears turning to demonstrate his mind changing, not even a quick panel of his eyes narrowing or his brow furrowing.

O the flipside (again no pun intended) though I genuinely adore the idea that Liz Allan and Norman Osborn in effect founded Alchemax and the involvement of Tiberius Stone and the conundrum of Miguel needing to protect him. In fact Tiberius comes off as one of the more interesting characters in this. I liked how he deduced his own relevance to the future and was just a sleazy asshole.

Another thing compromising the introduction of Miguel is his presentation.

The arc is rather bewildering because it introduces functionally an alternate version of the original Spider-Man 2099 but also takes it on faith you already know about Spider-Man 2099 in the first place.

Which frankly wasn’t a reasonable presumption.

Like okay sure people know OF Spider-Man 2099 because if you are a comic book or Spider-Man fan long enough your pick up there was a future version of him sooner or later, it’s just plain osmosis. And he’d been featured in two video games in the then recent past.

But not everyone plays video games, watches Let’s Plays, or would have read comics from 20 years ago, especially considering the 2099 stories haven’t even been collected in trade yet. Hell the last time A version of Spidey 2099 appeared it was in 2009 and was a distinctly different version altogether.

So Miguel’s reintroduction should’ve been handled differently, the first shot of him in action should have been the Stegman splash page not him preparing to leap off into action, we should’ve seen his supervision in action instead of just being told about it, we should’ve had his other abilities demonstrated to us. I mean I  know what they are and how they work for the most part but how would someone who’s a new/unfamiliar fan have a clue?

Perhaps the worst example of this is the fact that Slott’s stories, both in the initial 2099 arc and later, reference Miguel and Peter meeting before. There is no further exposition, there is no editorial caption referring to when this occurred (in the initial arc anyway), you are just supposed to accept this has happened before. That is until Superior #32 but more on that in a moment.

But even for new readers this is bewildering. Newer fans might in their head’s wonder if this is referencing the Edge of Time or the Shattered Dimensions video games, which it definitely isn’t because those are clearly not canon to Peter Parker. Older fans like myself might immediately jump to the Spider-Man Meets Spider-Man 2099 one shot from the mid 1990s. But that’s never explicitly referred to until Superior #32 which was published not just after Superior wrapped up but in fact after Miguel’s solo-book had been launched!

More confusingly  IIRC the one shot factors into the original 2099 series so it shouldn’t apply to this alternate version of Miguel and indeed the marvel.wiki lists the one shot as featuring the original Miguel NOT the one starring in these stories. Much like Spider-Girl #10 Slott decided to canonize something he had no business canonizing.

Anyway one final little criticism I have of these stories in terms of writing is that Miguel helped create Spider Slayers using future technology (why would you fuck up the timeline like that??????) and he was able to deduce Otto wasn’t the true Spider-Man. How the fuck can a guy from the future who met Peter Parker ONCE and very briefly tell Superior Spidey is an imposter but Aunt May, Kaine and Mary Jane can’t?

Because contrivance thy name is Slott.

Let’s briefly discuss Superior Team up and Superior #32.

Miguel’s involvement is essentially meaningless in the former and he’s absent from the latter but credit where credit is due Slott did give us a fun little jaunt through the 2099 future...which is not the setting of Miguel O’Hara’s solo book so you know...that was kind of pointless beyond setting up Spider-Worst (not my joke but it’s appropriate). I have little else to say on the issue beyond that seeing more murdered Spider-Heroes sickens me.

Finally let’s talk art.

These books were drawn by Ryan Stegman (Superior #17-19), Marco Checchetto (Superior Team-Up), Humberto Ramos (Superior #23) and Giuseppe Camuncoli (Superior #27.NOW, #28-31).

Ramos is Ramos which is to say anatomically offensive though seeing him briefly draw Miguel wasn’t too bad. Camuncoli was better but I’ve never liked his style. True he got better but still not great.

Stegman meanwhile I think was good. Now this is 2013 Stegman. His RYV, Venom and Absolute Carnage work runs rings around his work back then and before that. It’s very stylized but it’s still good. In fact the stylized look of it works for the concept behind the series. Characters look darker, edgier, in a way uglier and somewhat caricatured which fits in a series about a villain. His double page spread for Miguel though looks awesome, one of the all time great images of the character.

Checchetto meanwhile was the stand out. His work just look gorgeous to look at but it was still evoking a darker aesthetic it fit the idea of a book about a villain very, very well.

Not much to say about these issues. I am debating if I’m going to make a similar multi-issue post when I skim through the Miguel parts of Spider-Verse since I never posted about them back when it was happening, but we will see.

So I recommend reading these?

No. No I do not. I recommend flipping to the pages of Miguel in costume and looking at the art but that’s it.

[transphormers]

scorpflame and grimfire for the meme!

Scorpflame

1. How did they meet?

iirc they met in Garrus-9, but I like to think that their cells were either next to eachother and started talking out of pure boredom, or that they didn’t actually meet meet the other until Shockwave picked them both when he fled from the prision!2. Big Spoon/Little Spoon?

Usually the first one to go to bed ends up being the little spoon, so it changes constantly (but tbh... Scorponok is more likely to stay late(r) working, so he’s the big spoon more often)3. Who initiated the Conjunx ritus, and who finished it?

Flame started the ritus and Scorp finished them!4. Which one purrs more?

Scorponok, but he will never admit it5. Who takes more engex, and how do they like it?

Neither really like Engex but Flame will drink it if he’s with someone who’s drinking, and he will drink w/e that person is drinking, 6. Who gets more paintjobs?

Flame. Scorponok doesn’t really care about appareances so Flame cares for both of them7. Who has a worst taste in color?

I’m gonna say Flame but only cause he’s very orange and I don’t really like orange (Also Scorponok’s orangy details? Flame’s idea)8. During the war, are they in the same faction? If not, how does this affect their relationship?

Not really, but after Flame got thrown into Garrus-9 factions kind of stopped mattering 9. Do they sleep cuddled together, or side-by-side?

Cuddled! 10. What do they do after the war? (if they met during the war)

Science stuff, start working with/for weirdos, have a kid, questinable science.... the usual11. Did anyone predict them getting together?

Nah lol, not even themselves expected to get along so well.12. What makes them a good pairing?

They complement each other pretty well, and they share a love for morally questionable science, so there’s that too. 13. If they had (a) sparkling(s), what would they be like?

They have the firstborn :3c but uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh Tiny scorpion running around and asking a thousand questions per minute. One of those kids who wants to know Everything and won’t stop untill he does!14. Random headcanon(s)?

I’m so bad a these lmao but mmmmh They are actually a rather independent couple, in the sense that they don’t mind being apart for long periods of time and are more than ok with doing things separately, but they really enjoy the time they spend together.

Grimfire

1. How did they meet?

After the fight with the DJD, but Misfire had heard about Grimlock before (and was very excited, and very scared, of actually meeting him)2. Big Spoon/Little Spoon?

Grimlock is the little spoon. You can’t change my mind.3. Who initiated the Conjunx ritus, and who finished it?

Grimlock and Grimlock lmao. Misfire was too busy freaking out (in a good way)4. Which one purrs more?

Grimlock, but Misfire is not far behind :0!!!5. Who takes more engex, and how do they like it?

Grimlock used to drink a lot but now, not so much. Misfire likes drinking but he doesn’t do it often. When he does he enjoys the Worst, cheapest mixes (basically the cybertronian equivalents of kalimotxo (wine and cocacola))6. Who gets more paintjobs?

They are both disasters (for different reasons) when it comes to keeping a decent painjob, but they agreed on getting a new one at least twice a year as to avoid looking like complete messes. 7. Who has a worst taste in color?

Humanity is lucky Misfire is forged and never actually had to chose his paint colour, and that’s all I’m gonna say. 8. During the war, are they in the same faction? If not, how does this affect their relationship?

Nope, but considering the circunstances it never really mattered to them. (Tho it did matter to everyone else, but oh well! The war is over so whomst cares)9. Do they sleep cuddled together, or side-by-side?

Cuddled, but they have to be careful with how they sleep as to not hurt Misfire’s wings :/10. What do they do after the war? (if they met during the war)

They Chill. They just fuckng Chill. The Scavengers stay together and Grimlock stays with them, tho from time to time he and Misfire go on a lil vacation so Grimlock can meet with the other dinobots (because in my mind no one died and they managed to solve their problems)11. Did anyone predict them getting together?

They were pretty close before they actually became a couple, tho almost no one thought they would end up together. Krok did but he tried not to think too much about because the Energy those two have when together just screamed trouble and it made his head hurt (but he’s happy for them)12. What makes them a good pairing?

The fact that they were such good friends before even thinking of becoming a couple. They know the other very well and aren’t afraid of talking things through, plus they both know that if the whole ‘being a couple’ thing stopped working one day they would still be good friends, and that’s nice. Also they just, have lots of fun together.13. If they had (a) sparkling(s), what would they be like?

They have 3 sparklings + the firstborn (whose custody they share with scorpflame). And it’s........ a lot. The four are very active kids who can’t stop, won’t stop and Misfire thinks is the funniest thing ever. Also one can fly and two can breath fire so, Imagine. 14. Random headcanon(s)?

   They never actually talked about starting to date, it simply happened, and they didn’t realize until someone else pointed it out.

[troglobite]

met twice today w one of my superiors/bosses/whatever who i actually like (i like 2/3 of them, and unfortunately they’re the two who have no bearing on my contract or hours, etc.)

and anyway it was just nice to talk to him again after a LOOOOONG time of not being able/allowed to join in on staff meetings, etc. 

but anyway by far the most important or interesting thing that stuck out to me was like--

okay, so he does these “written observations” of our work. it just means like he chooses one of our previous appointments where we provide written feedback, he goes over it (previously it was with us, but now i think he’s just gonna. write up something about it? in response? and send it to us?), and then like. that’s it. sort of a performance review, but way lower stakes. 

i only ever had one meeting w him about that while i was working there as a student and in person. haven’t had one since. 

and the second mtg i had w him today was bc i asked to talk, and part of it was abt that (for myself and some other tutors) 

AND ANYWAY

he asked if i would do an observation for/of him

and i was like ?!?!!? whoa. okay. yeah. cool. thank you. 

bc like he trusts me and clearly thinks highly of me which like. anyway i’m moving on now. lol

but the part that got to me was he was explaining that shit’s been Rough the last few months & he feels like his tutoring isn’t up to par lately. and so he looks at the schedule and sees emptiness and is like “fuck. i’m doing something wrong. oh no.”

and so i just had a similar moment checking my schedule for tomorrow

i’d previously had 2 appts w one of my regulars scheduled for tomorrow, but she canceled. i had an appt w her today & after seeing those appts for tomorrow canceled, i was like FUCK. i fucked up! my feedback was terrible! i did something wrong!

of course in my instance i looked ahead and saw that actually she’d scheduled more appointments for later this week and also next week. so actually she canceled because she was like “lol no fucking way i’m getting my next draft done in time”

so there’s that relief.

but i’ve 100000% worried that i pissed off a student, or said something very wrong, or worried abt cancelations and empty slots. 

so it’s. comforting in that “it’s not just you” sort of way. that he/my superior also feels that way. 

(which is also funny bc we had trouble scheduling our second mtg today bc his schedule got filled up with student appts lol)

so anyway i just had that moment of looking at the schedule and thinking FUCK! OH NO! and realized he does that too and i was like. ah. yes. okay.

but also the other part of it is that it just goes to show why i like him and respect him and feel like i can actually talk to him honestly about things at work. 

like he cares. this guy has a phd iirc, has taught grammar and shit for YEARS, specializes in helping ELLs, and is just like. so experienced and knowledgeable and is also just not a huge prescriptive dick about it. 

so for him to worry that he’s underperforming and disappointing students and it’s being reflected in some empty days on his schedule--it’s like. oh. you’re both a decent person and also this kind of insecurity and fear seems par for the course when you actually care about the work you do and how it affects people.

also he gave me the applause react in zoom bc i knew what an appositive phrase was. lol so that was fun. 

[kenshiliker]

mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name:  徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese 

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here, 

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx.  random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii.  blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula​ and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely!  16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls.  51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

--

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)