#like these comments can definitely do some damage to ones mental health

[cephy-the-squid]

Stranger on the internet here to affirm that you are not going to “manifest” anything. Intrusive thoughts suck but they are also just thoughts. They can’t hurt you/others and are not more likely to happen just because you think them.

i just think that, maybe, its a bad idea to tell someone with intrusive thoughts that if they "keep thinking that way" theyre going to "manifest it" because uh. cant actually control that, chief, and youve just made it worse <3

[crazylittlejester]

The LU Chain but I assign them a random family member stereotype and then you imagine all these people at holiday dinner

Time: Dad, he just wants to watch the goddamn football game in peace but he’s long ago accepted that’s never gonna happen, so he’s trying to stop people from killing each other. Has beat up Your Uncle at past gatherings, will do so again if necessary

Warriors: Mom, and he is not afraid to hit someone with a pot lid for insulting his cooking. But he made different dishes for all the people with different texture issues because he cares, and he put way too much effort into the decorations and matching the napkins to the tablecloth is wine drunk by the end of the night and screams at Your Uncle

Twilight: Your cousin who’s older than you by 5+ years but who’s always been really nice. Chill vibes, but disappears halfway through the family gathering. Is he out smoking? Did he leave the property entirely? No one knows. He doesn’t like Your Uncle, so that might be why he disappeared

Sky: Aunt, but not wine aunt. He brought The Casserole (everyone takes psychic damage). He’s from Dad’s side of the family, lucky him he has no connection to Your Uncle

Wild: Your neurodivergent cousin, the one who went to art school and is a huge advocate for mental health (/pos) Your Uncle hates him

Hyrule: The Middle Child. Also vanishes halfway through the dinner, except that’s because he’s actually some supernatural being trapped in human form honored as a local cryptid who has a desperate urge to go out after dark and stand ominously in a field and go touch grass. The family refers to these disappearances as his “Me Time”, they’re not concerned

Legend: Eldest Daughter, is ready to fight Your Uncle about politics (your uncle will be annihilated). Dyed his hair halfway through the dinner and used the fact that Your Uncle commented on it to start a fight

Four: Your neurodivergent cousin, but the one who is a redditor. He’s definitely posted “Am I The Asshole?” posts about this family (the asshole has never been him)

Wind: Baby Boy. He knew what a fork was and everyone was so proud (he’s going insane and testing the limits to see what the bare minimum he can do is while still getting praised for existing. All the other ‘kids’ want him dead)

The Lizard Who Beat The Shit Out Of Twi: Your Uncle

[chlorinatedpopsicle]

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-023-02717-0

In an online survey of 1124 heterosexual British men using a modified CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 71% of men experienced some form of sexual victimization by a woman at least once during their lifetime.

If men would like male sexual victimization to be taken more seriously, maybe they should start by not responding to news about instances of male sexual victimization with jokes and/or "he's so lucky!!" comments. I'm sure you already know what I'm talking about, but here's a small example:

I don't know about you, but I never see women making “I got raped by a priest” jokes, “don't drop the soap” jokes, or “fellas, how would you react if you found her? [picture of unconscious or dead woman]” jokes, etc. I only ever see men and boys doing that, strangely enough. Until men and boys stop doing that all the fucking time, I'm gonna find it hard to sympathize with their plight.

The study examines how men may feel discouraged from speaking out about instances of sexual victimization because – as a result of male socialization and male gender expectations – they are afraid of showing any emotional weakness / vulnerability; men may see any display of emotional distress as emasculating. This is true. However, one has to ask: who are the ones who perpetuate these male gender expectations in the first place? Who are the ones pushing these ideas of masculine stoicism; the idea that men mustn't show weakness? In case you've been living under a rock, liberal women have been encouraging men to show more emotional vulnerability for decades now. Liberal women push the “men's mental health matters!!! male SA victims are valid!!!” stuff harder than anyone, even MRAs. Just as men are the ones making the rape jokes, these masculine gender expectations are taught and upheld almost entirely by men. They created the stigma all on their own.

Anyway, let's address the elephant in the room: 71% is a big number! I have to wonder, though, how many of the reported sexual victimization incidents were rape, and how many were things like unwanted sexual comments, groping, and leering. Those things are definitely distressing and even psychologically damaging, but nobody should deny that they are not on the same level as sexual assault – something experienced by a staggeringly high number of women and girls. Anyway, here it is:

As I expected, forced penetration (what I would consider rape) doesn't make up a whole lot of that percentage. If you want, you can scroll through some of the tags on my blog to see how statistics for female SA victims differ. Well, probably. Tumblr's tagging system is finicky.

I'm sorry, but I'd rather focus my concern on the things that men are doing. Like mass-scale sex trafficking and prostitution. And violent pornography. And spycam terrorism / voyeuristic porn / deepfake porn. And forced child marriage and bride kidnapping. And barring girls from going to school. And female genital mutilation. And forcing women to wear head-coverings and then brutally assaulting and arresting them if they don't comply. And constant femicides. And "honor" killings. And incestuous rape and sexual abuse at horrifying rates. And brutal domestic violence. And every war in the history of humanity (and all the violence that war entails). And committing over 90% of violent crimes. And raping the female patients in their care. And raping babies and corpses and animals like it's nobody's business. And other quirky male activities. Thanks for the ask!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/6/2024

people mad at a video game for being woke, i'm mad at it for not being woke enough. so it goes.

also i wrote a yeehawgust fic

listening

another addition to the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist, thank u charli xcx and billie eilish

-

reading

im still really annoyed with Retraction Watch for platforming a terf last year and then not doing any sort of sockpuppet damage control in the comments. since they got acquired by crossref they've done way less guest editorials. not to be all "stick to sports!" but stick to sports, retraction watch.

they did introduce me to this substack series i will be following with great interest about the rise and fall of hindawi. wiley acquired a paper mill a few years back, bc they seemingly did zero diligence, and then blithely ignored the problem for two years before being forced to do the single largest retraction of papers in scientific publishing history, somewhere above ten thousand articles because it is STILL ONGOING.

i do love following various retractions bc i like seeing what finally made someone go "wait a minute", and, as i have just written in a cover letter, "I studied astronomy and have held several data jobs because I’m fascinated with how and why systems work and fail..."

-

watching

my best friend has decided while i'm at her home in the evenings eating her food and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i am fed tiny bits of mushed up banana by hand by her one-year-old), our new project is watching all the xmen movies. i have no particular desire to do this or special affinity for the xmen, and i would like to keep eating very good texmex and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i play hot wheels with the five-year-old). this sounds so super bitchy of me but it's hard to convey that these are essentially on for background noise.

saw the first two. the two things i know about them are that hugh jackman is in them and they're at the statue of liberty in one

-

playing

an ideologically baffling little environmental game free in the epic store this week, LumberJack. this is on PC and Switch for $13, which is far more money than the playtime anyone can get out of this game. tiny tiny tiny little Spain-headquartered studio without an active website, it looks like one guy hired out to make this and two more games and then went back to single-dev projects. i can respect that!

steam reviewers are mad at this game for being woke, and i'm mad at it for being woke in a very strange way. your one mechanic, as a bear, is swinging a big axe to remove cars and trailer offices and portapotties and various garbage from the landscape.

i wish the movement and look controls are inverted, and i wish they weren't, or at least had an option to make them normal. i know Why this isn't a mobile game (can't monetize something with twoish hours of gameplay and twenty levels) but it's a very straightforward and simple game that would translate very well to mobile. much like donut county.

now for being picky about the political mindset of the developers: as much fun as it is to be a bear swinging an axe around, lumberjacks are not the people i associate with wild preservation movements.

saving the land and turning it back into pristine and perfect land for wild animals in this game looks like erasing every hint of human activity from a site and turning it into sheer recreational use. many levels are heavily polluted, but some can definitely be read as recycling centers. im confused by the erasing every hint of humans in early levels, and then this level where you break down a radio station, slap the host with your axe, and she turns into a park ranger who starts gardening and taking care of chickens?

i don't think that removing all the traces of people from the landscape will magically fix everything, nor do i think simply being in unspoiled wilderness will magically fix me.

there's a golfing level where you whack bombs into various small buildings. i think golfing to save the environment is a strange choice to make for designing a game.

i also briefly thought this bird in every level was an extinct ivory-billed woodpecker, which was a little alarming bc there are some real nutjobs out there with very strong beliefs about this bird and government overreach and how much the government is lying to you about the extinctness of various animals.

i stopped playing about halfway through bc i was not having fun and found the underlying environmental message a little confused. they've managed to sell at least 10k units which is...not very good. i am not surprised this is free on epic, and i wonder what their payout for that was. would not be surprised if they negotiated a payment to their nonprofit partner ecologi as part of that.

-

making

yeehawgust fill! i have another bitchy blond babygirl!

what the fuck is the prisoner? cult 60s british spy tv. with all the surreality and anxieties about the cold war and midcentury psychological horror you could possibly want

He’d been drugged enough times to recognize the splitting migraine rapidly galloping down his neurons. “Where am I?” He fought down the taste of bile (ketamine? xylazine, by the aftertaste) and the rising panic. Oddly enough, the migraine was always worse with veterinary sedatives. One would think a mind would adapt to nearly three hundred years of irregular drugging and constant experiments. One’s body had adapted and ghoulified, but in equally unhelpful ways. The tycoon flickered, approximating an appraising blink. “This meeting has been a long time coming, hasn't it? You've come a long ways, literally and, I suspect, figuratively as well. You’re in the Free Economic Zone of New Vegas.” They’d pretended the prisons were so many different places: across the Continent, in various parts of London, up and down and all around the East Coast of these wretched States. Rarely this far west, aside from the awful escapade in the faux pre-War Western town. “What do you want?” He managed to swing his ankles off the saddle (also pre-War? Heavily used. It certainly wasn’t his, the equestrian event had always been his worst event in the pentathalon) and jolted what felt like every half-dead nerve in his half-dead body.

[dellovestorant]

This is gonna sound a bit interesting but it's getting ridiculous and kinda hypocritical of certain people considering the way some of them went after Max and still continues to go after Max.

Hate comments and death threats are never ever ok to send to anyone. Sending death threats in any way shape or form, depending on the country you live in, is actually a crime. Some people need to realise that sport is just that. If you are a spectator of a sport it's really never that fucking serious to be sending death threats to an athlete. And bombarding their comment sections with hate comments is also just such online behaviour. There is a very thin line between criticism and critique vs just pure hate and vitriol that some of you need to learn where the fucking line is and move tf away from it.

Now Max has a social media manager that posts for him (who exactly it is apparently is a topic of contention rn), George has a social media manager that posts for him. Lewis has such self restraint in what he checks on social media (which is a feat in itself) (there's another point regarding his social media presence I won't make rn) but all of them compartmentalises better than him it's bloody obvious. Max can shake hate comments off, Lewis does as well, George mostly does but he's realised how to limit the negative things he sees. Tom Holland deletes his social media when he doesn't need to post promotional stuff. George does see hate comments yes but he's realised it's not doing him any good and he's taken actions to avoid having that negatively effect him. Yes mental health of every one is a conversation that continues to be had and continues to be needed but but at the end of the day the drivers that have spoken out have also taken proactive steps BY THEMSELVES to limit the damage on their OWN PSYCHE. Where on earth is this victim complex coming from. Yes the comments have gone so so so very overboard and absolutely ridiculous at times but no one is forcing him to scroll through his comment section and LIKE hate comments. Like that's consciously his choice. You cannot control the actions of others but you can control your own actions. As a sports figure and a bloody public one at that, he's inevitably going to get hate. All athletes do not matter who they are or what sport they're in. Heck Michael Phelps even gets hate comments at times (rare but they're there). Log off. Lock apps. Delete apps. We are in the age of social media and the internet yes but you can limit so much of the damage if you truly wanted to. Yes you can argue they shouldn't need to do that but, and this will sound harsh af, come on every single person on this planet has had to adapt in someway or form or compromise in some way or form to ensure they're living the best they can. And yes millionaires are human and everyone deserves to be treated equally YOU CANNOT CONTROL THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR OWN. Like at some stage we've got to admit and realise right that nothing is evidently going to change so start doing what you preach. Liking hate comments and continuously doing it is sending a weird fucking message to kids that look up to you. Kids who may not have the critical thinking skills to realise hey that's not fucking normal behaviour.

Consciously picking the option to scroll through the comment section where you know you're gonna see negativity is just absolutely insane to me.

But also how tf has the team around him pr or otherwise not tried to limit the exposure. Like a certain bloody admin on twitter is contributing more in my pov to the hate than placing him in a better light. McLaren is not helping one bit either. Mercedes fucks up day after day hour after hour but they've most definitely tried their best or if not their best they've done something to try and limit the hate their drivers and team is getting (whether it works or not is another story entirely but at least they TRY). McLaren trying to fix PR does not fix at all and makes things worse.

All in all some people should be banned from using social media apps because clearly they're a little fucked in the head and cannot separate fiction from reality or tv from reality or realise most things in life are never that serious and sport is one of those things.

Complain, rant, go over things over and over again, complain some more, sure that's the beauty of being a sports fan but when you get to the point where you are committing crimes you're an absolute moron and should be supervised 24/7.

[blue-banana-milk]

nah cause tell me why this man is my #1 brain parasite what the FUCK

okay, personal Diluc headcanos even tho Ive never played the game, shut up:

Cat person, shut up

Everyone mischaracterizes this man as an asshole and that's such bullshit

It's a front that he puts on but the moment he sees a little meow meow HE IS MELTING

If it's a kitten: is very careful and makes sure to guide them back to their litter/mom and gives them little head scratches

If it's a full grown cat: admires from affar with the urge to go up and pet them. let's them approach him as to not bother or scare off the cat

LOVES holding them in his arms so he can pet and nuzzle their little faces, it's his favorite way to relieve stress while working

bonus: has a very big soft spot for small animals in general

he has freckles, shut up, he does

he got teased for them when he was a kid and by proxy, doesn't like when people comment on them

Has burn scars that have caused severe damage to his hand and forearms, therefore wears lots of gloves and longsleves, is almost never seen without them

doesn't like taking them off and and especially not in front of others

he gives "loved school and was really good at it" vibes which came in handy later down the line

NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE, this mf was busy on his killing spree, no time for ladies

but still upholds his gentleman virtues and treats everyone with basic respect cause he's not a dick he just is bad at expressing his emotions

He feels like the type of person to very heavily dislike the use of profanity but once HE starts using it, you know you fucked up BAD.

Bonus: is very careful with his wording around children

Speaking of kids, he can tolerate them and is kind of fascinated by them with the way they think

He's okay with not being the person the kids go up to, but on the rare occasion that one does, you better believe he is treating them so kindly and so sweetly, maybe even giving them a smile

Has adopted Donna in his mind and doesn't mind the fact that she seems to hate his guts, he still treats her kindly and respectfully, goes out of his way to protect and care for her like a big brother/dad

Same thing with Klee

He definitely donates his money, come on

he wears a nightgown to bed, COME ON

goes to bed with his hair down and wonders why his hair is all messy in the morning

Not all his scars from his years as a man on the run; some are from his childhood (aside from the mental scarring) like small scrapes or cuts from playing outside

Has a REALLY BAD habit of overworking himself but not to the point of getting himself sick/risking his health, still pushes himself a little too much tho

Has definitely fallen asleep at his desk more than once

Has definitely called Adelinde Mom/mother in both childhood and adulthood

She thinks it's adorable

THIS MAN IS STACKED AS FUCK

he is buff as fuck and forgets his own strength sometimes, especially when it's inventory day and hes moving a shit ton of boxes without breaking a sweat

uuuuuhhhhh

fat milkers, don't @ me

that's all folks

I'll probably do another one of these where's it's focused on Diluc as a romantic partner

also sorry for being so passive aggressive, I just really like Diluc :3

[lostdrarryfics]

Hi! This is my first time using this app, srry if I'm not doing this right. I lost a drarry fic from ao3 a while back, and omg I've been searching for it everywhere

It was during the war, like maybe around 5-6th year? Harry and Draco are sent to a safehouse together for some reason, where Snape occasionally checks in on them, and so does Alastor Moody at one point (Harry grabbed a lamp or vase or smth to throw at the intruder.) I believe it might be Shell Cottage, or someplace similar. It definitely had water near it.

Draco and Harry slowly become closer and closer and start to develop feelings. They're alone in the safehouse most of the time.

Harry has pretty shit mental health, and I distinctly remember a "maladaptive daydreaming' or 'disorder' tag on the fic, which made me curious. I remember so many scenes of harry just spacing out and going into his own head, where it is very vibrant. In one such scene, he had his head against a fish tank with very colorful and large fishes inside.

Draco notices that Harry just kinda "stops existing in the present" when he goes into his head. Its like, his major coping mechanism.

At one point, Snape tells him he has to learn occlumency, and goes into his mind. At first he's alarmed to find out how intricate Harry's mind is, and how he can so very clearly see and feel and smell the environment in his head.

Harry's (subconscious?) mind tries to block/ kick out Snape, and once Snape is out of Harry's head he's extremely worried and panicked or smth. He asks Harry questions like "whats your name" or smth to access if his mind is broken, all the while Harry is panicking and Draco is screaming at Snape to stop treating Harry like a St. Mumgos patient (like Neville's parents who's brains are damaged)

Draco makes harry a shell necklace at one point, and bashfully gives it to Harry. I believe he put a tracker in it without telling him, because he wants to keep him from going outside the wards. (Which are like 100 yards around the corttage or smth?)

Harry does end up going out of the ward, after him and Draco have some sort of fight, and gets ambushed by Death Eaters (i think)

One last thing i remember is that in one scene, when Draco and Harry were becoming super close, they were drinking together. One of them found a bottle somewhere in the cottage/house and they were in the living room drinking and getting close (idk how many clothes came off, just that the environment was toeing the line between friends and smth more) And at that point, Snape came in and reprimanded Draco or smth.

Tysm if you've read all of this, I'm so glad I found this account 😭🩷

We believe you are looking for My Safest Sound by ElenAndTara (294k, M)

Don’t forget to bookmark, leave kudos and comments!

[logically-asexual]

This is the last one I swear, but like Thomas just gaslights his fandom a lot.

i don’t think i would use the word gaslight but he’s definitely being really mean to everyone.

like others said about his comments, he’s clearly super insecure about not having posted the episodes yet and instead of dealing with it he’s angrily taking it out on anyone who dares even point out that it’s been a while since the last sanders sides.

he probably doesn’t realize the scale of the damage, but it sucks specially because of the parasocial relationship he has cultivated from the fans toward him. like. i don’t assume malicious intent, he wanted to feel close to the fans so he goes out of his way to interact with as many people as he can and in a way that makes them feel heard which is a nice idea in theory (and in practice most of the time). but it becomes ugly when he can’t control his own emotions and decides to shame anyone who he feels is being mean to him.

because the shaming is not only NOT happening between equals, since thomas is clearly the one in a better position with his big fan base, but is also made worse by the fans he shames seeing him as some kind of cool older brother instead of a random famous guy. again i don’t assume he’s purposely intending to do this but he is taking advantage of those parasocial relationships when he brings up his “mental health��� and his happiness to defend himself. because anyone else wouldn’t care but fans definitely will feel bad about making him sad. it’s manipulative.

if a comment is just pointing out it’s been a while since the last episode (which is absolutely not a mean thing to say) or if it’s actually being insulting, either way how much that could (or should, i guess) hurt thomas is not even close to how much he’s hurting these fans he publicly complains to (and others who will see them as an example). i don’t know if he realizes the difference. he probably just goes “oh you made me feel bad, i’ll make you feel bad and now we’re even” but that’s not how it works.

because thomas is a 34 year old who has been making content for the internet since he was ?? what?? 26? like. he should know how to handle (ie ignore) comments he dislikes from random users on the internet he’s never heard of before. while these fans are probably teenagers who look up to him and don’t deserve to be treated that way by the person they’re a fan of + their other fans who follow anything he says and might continue harassing them after thomas.

and by doing this he’s also saying to everyone else “i love my fans so much!! i read my comments and reply to them with love 🥰 but my love is conditional because if you say the tiniest thing that i disapprove of i will find you and i will shame you personally in front of everyone else. so be careful what you say. but i love you all 🥰”

which isn’t a very nice message.

[rachelcommitscrimes]

im gonna rant abt how much i hate the ghost eyes fandom (as a former fan) bc im just kinda mad rn

so uhh yeah major TW for s3lf h4rm, romanticizing mental illness, su1c1de, sadomasochism, infantilization, and rlly just anything related to that

(also sorry if this looks weird idk how to separate stuff on tumblr)

also DO NOT harass the creator or anyone mentioned here, you’re no better than them if you do that

——————————————————————————

ok so i read ghost eyes like 2 years ago but i stopped reading about the point where they were on that field trip. i still think it’s a nice comic and i’m sure the author is a cool person, also the art style is awesome. but the fandom is so fucking gross that i’m surprised more people haven’t talked about it. 

for some backstory on this, i used have REALLY bad depression and was cutting myself regularly (i’m much better now, i have medication, therapy, and i’m almost a year clean) i also stopped reading due to the comic severely damaging my mental health and i’m very glad i did. i was younger and immature and thought i could handle such content. this led to me becoming extremely obsessed with the comic to an unhealthy level, and getting severely attached to one of the characters (rudy) because i could relate to him at that time. i seriously thought that i WAS him sometimes.

i understand now that i should NOT have ignored the label and what i did was definitely wrong and if the creator is reading this i deeply apologize. i’m in a much better place now and i’m just glad that i was able to get the help i needed.

ok now to the angry part

if you don’t know what ghost eyes is, it’s a webcomic about a severely traumatized boy attending school for the first time and meeting a bunch of other severely traumatized kids. this comic has a crap ton of triggering/sensitive/disturbing topics (which is not a bad thing as long as you do it right) and like i said before, the creator has kindly put a warning before the comic starts stating that you SHOULD NOT romanticize/idolize/sexualize/kin any of the characters, do not read unless you can handle such topics, and so forth. now i know i should have definitely put the comic down before and not gotten obsessed over it, but i knew damn well enough that it was messed up to romanticize/sexualize any of the characters/things that happened in the book.

there are several scenes in which a character is self harming or harming someone else, and the comments will say shit like “nooo my poor bean” “awww baby don’t do that” or my personal favorite “protect the smol bean.” first of all, the characters are like 16-17, second of all, i cannot even tell you how fucked up it is that people see someone ruining their lives and putting themselves in danger and think it’s “cute” or “anxiety smol bean uwu” THERES LITERALLY A SCENE WHERE SOMEONE IS GETTING STABBED AND PPL ARE DRAWING THIS MF IN A MAID DRESS.

another reason i despise these fans is that they see an abusive relationship and start making ships/kinning them. as someone who has gone through pretty much everything rudy has gone through, i cant tell you how irritating it is to see people shipping him with his abuser or calling him a “cutie patootie masochist boi uwu” cause lemme tell you what-it doesnt feel good to have to put your health in danger and ruin your relationships with others just so you can get off somehow. ITS NOT FUN. the whole point of rudy’s character is to not romanticize someones fucked up mental health.

i could spend hours talking about this group of immature brats, but i’m tired and it’s a school night and i have a test tomorrow. i might add on if i feel like i need to but overall i really hope those immature fans grow up and realize their mistakes like i did, or get the help they need.

[nothorses]

i kind of agree that the internet (and ppl in general) have become more conflict avoidant, to the point of detriment. and that can be seen especially in fanfic spaces, where any sort of criticism is almost sacrilege. (im talking about like. constructive criticism not just being like “augh this sucks” )

which is fine! nobody has to listen to criticism when they dont want it. but i find it worrying because i think its scared people off from interacting with fanart/fic at all!

for example, im definitely a sensitive person but i started to explicitly say “please share any and all criticisms!” under my writing. cause i felt i needed that, and it was quite scary and difficult at first but ive kinda taught myself to actually use that info to make my work better. which makes me happy in turn.

but also! i find i get more comments in general, even completely positive ones! i think because people are less scared of coming off the wrong way. idk this is sort of random but. just thought id share how ive seen what u were talkin about reflected in specific spaces.

Yes, absolutely! and I think this highlights part of the issue for me, too.

I think lot of this behavior stems from fearing the vulnerability that comes with trust. And we talk a lot about how not trusting others or not trusting yourself isolates you- which it absolutely does- but something I don't really see discussed is the impact this has on others as well.

Like you said, the fear of interactions going wrong means people are less willing to say even kind things, for fear of them being taken the wrong way; which is isolating for you, and which can also make other people feel like you don't want to interact with them for some reason.

Lacking trust in other people also often means jumping to conclusions about them, assuming the worst, and ultimately making them feel like they're undeserving of trust for whatever reason. Even if that's not why you feel that way, I can definitely tell you from experience the kind of damage that can cause to someone's mental health and self-perception.

Trust isn't owed, but I do think everyone deserves a chance before you decide to take it away. And I think if you find you fundamentally can't trust someone, there's really no justification for sticking around.

[raccoon-in-a-dumpster]

I am in the editing stage for The Big Breakdown Of The 33 Paragraph Essay Ask, but here's the short version:

I think they mostly wanted to try to explain their stance one more time. This is my best attempt at a short breakdown, without bias. The only reason I’m trying to keep my bias out is because I think it’s better to try to extract the core of the essay in the purest essence possible when trying to explain someone else’s point. Ik I’ve said some variation of that already but I want to say it again.

The main points are:

An attempt to reiterate what they believe ‘proship’ means, and why they think your version is…lacking?? Illogical?? Secret Third (But Similar) Option? Or just straight-up wrong. Somewhere in there.

An attempt to convey that they understand why you won’t believe them. 

I gotta say tho, the way they actually went into that (further than just an ‘I Get It’) being so close to how I put earlier it is. Unsettling. As I’m typing this out, I don’t honestly remember if I got to that point in the Thirty-Three Theses* yet when I said something about it. If yes, it was probably just fresh in my brain. Either way every time i read it again I feel like someone i don’t know just briefly glanced through the mirror at me.

Their third point is basically “I’m afraid that if it’s okay to harass pedophiles, then queer people will be harassed under the pretense of us all being pedophiles just because homophobic/transphobic/etc dickheads want us to leave. So that’s why I’ve decided I’m Proship.” with a very dramatic lead-up that implies concern for you, + a moment of ‘btw I don’t support that stuff myself. For the record.’

There is a reminder of that one time an anon accused you of pedophilia. I do, actually, remember that, because I remember wondering if the anon just heard that you were trans and suddenly saw red. I couldn’t think of any other reason to call a minor a pedophile, unless they just wanted to upset you for no reason? Idk. anyways.

There is also expressed concern for people who aren’t necessarily queer, but people who are writing about pedophilic/incestuous relationships who either don’t know any better, are trying to deal with their own trauma through writing, or adults who aren’t writing anything like that but it’s For or About kids and People Will Call It’s Sus.

Still, their main concern seems to be queer people. 

Long-winded explanation of why they won’t come off anon, which boils down to ‘i am not going to get harassed because i do not need that damage to my mental health’

I don’t know why they worded the last few blocks like a mysterious warning. I think it and the war drums comment are probably because they got weirdly dramatic and self-righteous about it? Idk. Either way they’re expressing concern for you (whether real or fabricated, who knows), with the implication that they think you’re being used/manipulated. Or that they think you could easily be used/manipulated? One of the two.

I have no idea if any of this is performative, or if it’s entirely sincere. The last bit is kind of insulting to you, even if it’s indirect. But what I’m hearing there is “you are voting for the Face-Eating Leopards Party, who promise to only eat the faces of Bad People, but you don’t realize that they can and will easily pin the ‘Bad People’ label on you and your demographic.”

Also, regarding their definition of proship: It’s less about what you ship and how you treat other people for shipping things, whether you like the ship or not.

So by their definition, even if someone did ship something like, idk, Dreammare (most common icky ship that I hear of), they’re not necessarily proship. If they believe that people shouldn’t be harassed over what they ship, and also stick to that and aren’t a fucking hypocrite, then they’re proship. Whether or not the ship in question is pedophilic, abusive, toxic, pretty average, or pure wholesome fluff has no bearing on it. 

I go more into that in the Big Breakdown.

I'm going to have to go places in a moment or two, but when I get back I should be able to finish my editing.

...At least, in the google doc. I'm debating whether tumblr would have better formatting and if I should make it a tumblr post instead of sending a link to the google doc, but if I did then I'd have to fuck with the images, and change some of the OTHER formatting because tumblr doesn't do underline for non-links.......

Either way, send me a message or something if you decide you want to see the whole thing. We're at 7525 words, which includes the essay from Proship Anon themself. most of it's me though

My “Thirty-Three Theses” comment is a reference to the Ninety-Five Theses that made Protestantism a thing. I only reference it because that’s a lot of fucking theses, and they were nailed to the door of the church that the author was bitching about and I think that’s funny. Otherwise it’s entirely irrelevant. I just wanted to share the joke.

7525 WORDS??? JEESSUS CHRIST MAN

but yeah the whole "anon calling me a tranny pedophile" was actually cause they were originally harassing my older brother for being a "tranny pedophile" (they did call BOTH of us trannies so.) despite the fact we're both minors, and also "what're you doing at the devil's sacrament" shit of "see you on Einstein's (epstien's) island"

but like... jesus. you're doing god's work ong.

and like. honestly. i do not give a shit about what someone draws/writes to cope with stuff, that's not my business, yk? my stance on that is that you. should not post it online. keep it between you and your therapist or whatever

[aureamediocritasi]

chronic aches mind

chronic: does my muse have any chronic health conditions / illnesses? how do these affect them from day-to-day? 

a lot of nerve damage! involuntarily twitching and chronic pain, mostly in the worst of his scars around his torso. he never comments on it or takes anything for it, though. both because pain killers arent something easy to come by, and also because he feels he sort of deserves to live with it anyway. its his injury, he should be reminded it exists, is what he'd probably say about it.

aches: does my muse have any frequent aches? ie, muscle aches, joint aches? how do these affect them from day-to-day? 

rotator cuffs on both arms definitely, and especially with his missing one. sometimes he can still feel it, and then the pain of whenever it was cut off comes back like its new. whenever this happens, he takes off his prosthetic and rubs some numbing cream into the healed over scar tissue. seems to work for the worst of it, in his experience.

mind: does my muse have any mental conditions that affect their lives? what are they? how do they handle them? what coping methods do they use most?

depression, anxiety, paranoia, panic, mild ocd, c-ptsd but that kind of includes most of the first four. naur he does not have any coping mechanisms besides being acutely aware that all of it is a thing and just dealing with it as it comes. if he has a panic attack he sits still for as long as he needs to until it goes away. as for the depression, anxiety, paranoia etc. he just drinks. very healthy. he has his own little rituals for the ocd: his morning routine, and he deals with other excessive intrusive thoughts by playing them out in his head rather than doing them if theyre inconvenient. if theyre not then he just does it. he probably also has some undiagnosed/unidentified ADHD / ADD. i def know knives is autistic lets be real as senior wizard the great autismo myself.

[captainkurosolaire]

((can I just say how amazing you are? Not only do you have an awesome WoL and I love your original content so much, but you also share others' OCs and content with lovely uplifting comments. You're so sweet and I know I'm not alone in saying how much I love it))

I'm flattered and truly appreciate your kindness. <3 I've been around this community and Tumblr in-particular since like 2017, maybe off and on, but watched so many people, many extremely talented all kinds of stuff, go for various reasons. Seen it when was blooming in heights, seen it dim down, saw it rise again. New-faces on each time, some constants, each time, I came back to create. But all these people and sights, I took in were integral, and they and everything they left genuinely does matter, contrary to maybe if they left thinking otherwise. So anymore now, if I can cultivate and give back to the people currently, or give them enough light or gradually work on being someone that speaks for it, letting them know and help them continue, prosper their unique, diversity, their drive that passion that everyone has one-of-kind, than I gladly will do anything I can with my spare energy to give while still maintaining my own love for this. A healthy and beautiful environment to create in is beneficial for everyone.

Right now I'm on a journey, working on a lot of damage, scars, physically, mentally, just trying to heal, become as decent of man, or the best of it I can be. Was at the point, if I wanted to continue to keep doing this and live for it; cause my health was that bad in healthy decline, then I have to work on redefining my diseases, afflictions, fighting to contest it again with all my might, challenge and get back a lot of my spirit lost from mental abuse. Lot of trauma still, I've got but I've met and know people who've hundred times have had it worse. But I did get to find least one person to finally talk too, even though going back through it, hurts to bring something alive again, feels like giving power. I've got a glimpse of freedom, air that I was keeping locked away. -- So I'm really starting to heal now. Lot of energy and slowly coming back to me, so if I can usher all this extra spare too back out, then I know it may be able to fuel others. 'Cause what I feel inside anymore, a clarity swelling, is something almost, infinite. Which I definitely can't contain all by myself.

This place is like my home for my soul, I love & live, for this.

[septembersghost]

Thank you for your thoughtful response and the links. I definitely think Depp is trash and Heard got a raw deal with the hate campaign his team launched against her online. But I felt so overwhelmed following it online and reading everyone’s comments and reactions, combined with the unpleasantness of the trial, that I had to take a step back and not be so attached to it because it was too negative for me. That’s why even tho I think Depp was abusive to her, I just can’t muster up much outrage about it like everyone else still is a year later. Idk if that makes me weird or not, but I think since life is already hard, it doesn’t help us to be so angry about other things that are out of our control.

of course, thank you for reading and sharing with me. *hugs* i don't think that's weird, and it's not because you don't care or see its relevancy - reading about such dark subjects is troubling anyway (i have gotten VERY circumspect about things i read or research online to protect my own mental/emotional health, because i find, whether this is strange of me or not, that i am more affected by upsetting content the older i get, and have more trouble shaking it and end up dealing with stressful, invasive thoughts that are hard on me). we only have a limited amount of energy to spare in this world, and we're all dealing with things in our day-to-day lives too. you are never required to be outraged or to engage with something that upsets and overwhelms you, especially when it's something so far beyond your ability to control, and it's not an area where you can affect change. it's taxing and it hurts to live in that space. (hence why the past few weeks have been particularly difficult for me to navigate with regards to certain pop culture/celebrity happenings...) it's not good for us to seethe or wallow in that when we can't make a real difference or channel it into something better. it also doesn't mean you're not informed or you don't have empathy. i wish i still had it saved, but there was an article from march or april that examined the detrimental effect certain news cycles are having on our mental health and why sinking into helpless negativity is damaging us and our outlooks and sense of community, and i think that's a very real thing. you can't have empathy at all if you're entirely burned out, and you always need to save some for yourself too. not engaging in a negative or overwhelming space is a form of practicing self-care.

edit: here it is! it was about politics specifically but i think it applies to pop culture too.

"If there were a way to consume the news without catastrophizing it, then that could be one path forward. But progressives in particular have trouble doing so. For them, to be aware of the ills of the world is to feel compelled to speak and act—or at least to feel. If we can’t all go news free—which is difficult in the world as it is—we can, at the very least, establish a truce with the news. Information and knowledge can be—and often are—quite great. But they are not unqualified goods. Sometimes ignorance is, in fact, bliss."

[cherieye]

As much as I appreciate TikTok being a platform where disabled creators can share their experiences and reality...

I personally don't think I could deal with doing that myself, one thing I definitely learned from having a TikTok that gained quite a following is that being vulnerable to a large audience isn't always good for my well being, my mental health would slip so bad. It didn't matter how many positive comments and interactions I would get, I just know it was over stimulating and it honestly felt like I was violating my own privacy, I didn't have full control of who would see my content, it would just simply cause needless paranoia.

I'm trying so hard to not fall into the same trap. I know people appreciate seeing things they can relate to, and I know some of that content does truly help people, but when it comes down to it, my well-being and peace of mind should always come first. I don't want to damage that peace of mind again

[childabusesurvivor]

Don't Get Distracted - Big Problems Require Big Solutions, not Simple Ones

New Post has been published on https://www.childabusesurvivor.net/reviews/2023/07/19/dont-get-distracted-big-problems-require-big-solutions-not-simple-ones/

Don't Get Distracted - Big Problems Require Big Solutions, not Simple Ones

We have talked previously about how many politicians and media members will offer simple solutions to complex problems. Take youth mental health, for example. We’ve all seen the Surgeon General and just about every media outlet point the finger at social media, but social media is just one of many things teens are facing today. I’ve seen a few people pointing out that this simple explanation leaves too many other things out, like a pandemic, school and social stresses, bullying, and for girls especially, sexual harassment.

To believe we can solve the teen mental health crisis by forcing kids off social media and doing nothing about all these other things is foolish.

Now, I’ve discovered this article by Mike Males that shows us the things the CDC report also included that the Surgeon General and media decided to not talk about.

However, leaders, authorities, and commentators on the issue uniformly ignore the Centers for Disease Control’s 116-question, 7,800-subject Adolescent Behaviors and Experiences Survey that documented teen’s “mental health crisis” in the first place.

The CDC survey found 11% of 12-18-year-olds reporting violent abuses and a shocking 55% reporting emotional abuses by household grownups – levels two and four times higher, respectively, than those of similar 2014 survey. Teens are several times more likely to be bullied and injured at home by parents than at school or from online encounters – surprising, since the CDC’s definition of peer bullying is broader than for parents’ emotional abuse.

This is interesting. He also mentions that as bad as school shootings are, kids are 8 times as likely to get shot at home by an adult living with them.

What Mike goes on to explain is that many kids are dealing with so much more than social media. They live every day with parents and other adults who are having their own mental health crises. They live with parents who bully them, adults who are abusive, who are unemployed, and angry.

Oh, and that’s on top of everything else we just mentioned. The physical and mental dangers to kids don’t start and end online. They are in it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. For some kids, social media actually helps their mental health. It’s a place to get help and information about the things they are dealing with at home. For others, social media might be making things worse. In either case, though, it’s not anywhere near the full cause of the teen mental health situation we find ourselves in. Paying as much attention as we do to that part of the problem just keeps us distracted from the very real problems we could be trying to solve.

Those problems require more work to find solutions for and those solutions don’t fit into a tweet or a campaign slogan, so we’ll just continue blaming social media, books about gay people, or being taught about racism for the state of kids today, and ignore the fact that so many of them live in danger at home from adults who can’t get any help for their own issues.

Speaking of distractions, I know many people in the survivor community have been hyping up the Sound of Freedom movie. Look, I don’t care if you go see it. I don’t buy much of what the stars of the movie or its subject have to say about conspiracy theories. I’ve said enough about the damage QAnon lies do to actual survivors. Regardless, don’t be distracted by what goes on in the movie. Even the organization founded by the subject of the movie has put out a statement saying that this is not how most trafficking occurs.

Because it’s not. The number of young children snatched up off the street or in some kind of ploy and trafficked by strangers is incredibly small. I’m not saying it never happens, but much like any child sexual abuse, most sex trafficking victims are victimized by people they know. And most human trafficking victims are not children being sold for sex, but adults sold for labor. The problem is much larger than one movie can cover. Don’t be distracted and start believing this is the only battle there is.

Like teen mental health, there is so much more to it, and fixing it is so much more complicated.

#Abuse, #MentalHealth, #School, #SocialMedia, #Stress, #Survivors, #Teens, #Youth