#but let me know if you want this deleted and i will no problem
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Till his blood technique turns white!!
(Sadist choso)
CHOSO X READER (smut, minors dni you WILL be blocked❤️)
Warnings; degradation, dirty talk, going in raw (wrap it before you tap it!) dumbification, sub! Reader, rough sex, hair pulling, reader gets called yk s!ut, talking her through it, stuff like that.
(Re upload because I accidentally deleted this fic earlier😭)
You’d think choso would go easy on you? He’s so nice towards yuji and yuki-
so why’s he fucking you like he hates you?
But oh god does it feel good.
“F-fuck Cho’ I dunno if I’m-“ a harsh slap on your ass shuts you up, your face buried in the pillow, whining in protest; his cock buried deep inside your cunt, a brutal pace set, hips snapping to meet yours again and again.
“Hm? Cmon girl I know you’re not so dumb after a few strokes, right?” You can feel the shit eating smirk on his lips on the shell of your ear, fucking you deeper in response to your breathy moans, your mind a fucked out cloud of need.
His hands grip your hips so mean- watching the fat of your ass jiggle every time he hits that sweet spot inside you making whines and moans slip past you lips-
He’s so deep too- so mean and so fucking good.
“Hah- fuck oh my god ‘Cho I’m gonna cum!” You moan into the pillow, eyes rolling back in ecstasy, your back being pressed down with one of his strong hands, the other holding you just where he wants you, his leaking tip hitting your g spot every. Damn. Time.
You couldn’t last long, not when he’s fucking you like he knows your body inside out.
White slick covers his cock, lubricating his length and allowing him to fuck you faster, I mean not that you had a problem in the first place.
He was just so fucking big!!
“Dumb slut- Cummin’ that easily hm? Fuck your so wet.” Mean words flow from his lips, his hand lifting from your back to you with your clit, a meek whimper scraping your kiss bitten lips.
Hips pistoning in and out of your tight cunt makes his mind feral, you feel so fucking good and your taking him so so well, he should reward you right?
The sound of skin on skin reverberating throughout the room is the only noise filling it, although besides your fucked out hoarse voice and low grunts and moans coming from the man behind you.
“Cmon baby tell me how bad you want it, how bad you want me to fill that greedy pussy of yours hm? Fuckin- hah- takin me so well”
His cock slams into you ruthlessly over and over, your sensitive cunt twitching around him, squeezing the life out of him.
Your release trickles down your thigh, cumming around him multiple times already, face flushed and pupils blown wide.
“Choso- p-please!” You cry out, begging for another release.
“Mm, not good enough slut.”
You feel his hands tangle in your hair, pulling your head back and fucking you doggystyle, his free hand grabbing your ass meanly, slapping it over and over, his cock buried to the hilt inside you.
And oh my god. Your orgasm comes so fast and hard you didn’t even see it coming, tears stream down your cheeks from overstimulation, crying and begging for him to slow down, but do you really want him to? No.
Squirting all over his dick is enough to make him go fucking crazy for him, your his. Anybody else’s? They can get fucked.
“Mine, y’hear that? She fuckin loves me hm?”
Your syrupy sweet cunt is teetering him on the edge of being pussy drunk, but god he’s so mean about it too!
“Choso- pleasepleaseplease-!” You manage to whimper out, choking and hiccuping on your words, incoherent babbling coming from your lips.
“Oh fuuuuck baby your so fuckin’ good” he moans out, his lips forming and o shape and his eyes slamming shut as a loud moan flows from his lips, cumming so deep inside you he might get you pregnant.
It’s so messy too, your combined juices making a mess of the sheets beneath you, his cum spilling out of your abused cunt. He releases the grip on your hair, letting you body fall limply into the pillow and pulling out of you with a wet pop!
“Heh- sorry baby didn’t mean to be so mean.”
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#choso x reader#choso x reader smut#choso smut#choso smau#choso x you#choso kamo#toji x reader smut#sukuna x reader#geto x reader#nanami x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo x you#toji smut#jjk choso#jjk x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader#nanami x reader smut#nanami smut#geto x reader smut#geto smut
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Hey! So for some reason your ask was deleted somehow?? It disappeared from my drafts?! But anyways, here you go lovely <3 @habitabel asked: please write Keatlejuice gifting reader stuffed animals please 🙏 and then listening to reader ramble on about the names, backstories, and how they got the stuffed animals they already have ty 🫶 I’m sorry that this one took me so long!! I hope you enjoy it!!
Happy reading! - Star ★
-★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Trigger Warnings: Explicit Language, Suggestive Themes -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Key: ★ (Y/N) = Your Name ★ (L/N) = Last Name -★-★-★-★-★-★-★- Requested by: @habitabel (THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME, I'm sorry that this took so long 😭🙏) -★-★-★-★-★-★-★-
- ★ - Stuffing Stories - ★ -
It’s 3AM, and the only sounds in the room are of your own groaning, and the pillows shuffling along your bed. You can’t sleep due to the constant negative thoughts running through your brain, at a million miles a minute.
The day was going great—work was it’s typical busy, but you don’t mind, and you even had a lighthearted chat with your coworker about your shared love for old sitcoms. But then came the side-eyed comment about your ‘Unwilling Service’ from someone who didn’t even know you, and how much it got into your head. You were just trying to answer their question, which was unbelievably bizarre. They asked something about how to get to the park that was thirty minutes away. Hell, you didn’t even know the place existed, and you didn’t work for a directory station.
You are already practically on edge as you walk through your apartment door. Dinner is an afterthought, the thought of eating even something small, sounding like too much of a task. And though you try distracting yourself with a movie, The Exorcist, obviously, the restless energy refuses to fade.
It isn't just today, though. Sleep had been a problem for weeks, a relentless cycle of tossing and turning that left you staring at the ceiling, wondering why you just couldn’t sleep. Tonight is no different. The clock ticked past midnight, then 1AM, now 2AM, each passing minute a reminder that tomorrow would be another day of exhaustion.
Your chest grows tight, your breathing shallower than you’ve experienced, in a LONG time for that matter. The usual distraction techniques aren’t working. Counting sheep, breathing exercises, even scrolling through your phone—all useless.
You pull the covers over your head, but the heaviness of the day’s events looms large. That offhand comment from earlier—’unwilling service…’ Did they mean lazy? Disinterested? Were they secretly annoyed with you? Did everyone at work feel that way? Was it the same with your friends?
The spiraling thoughts claw their way deeper. You clench your fists, nails digging into your palms. You hadn’t meant to start tossing and turning, the pillows shuffling deeper.
"Fuck, what is wrong with me?" you mutter under your breath.
With a shaky breath, you sat up, rubbing your eyes. The weight in your chest hadn’t gone away, but you knew someone who’d make it bearable.
"Beetlejuice," you whispered, voice cracking. "Beetlejuice... Beetlejuice."
The flash of green and black in the corner of the room becomes bright with flair, causing his entrance to be as grand as ever. "It's showtime-”, he begins, but the second he takes one look at you, his demeanor shifts.
“Whoa, whoa. Babes? Fuckin’ hell, you okay?” he says, eyebrows furrowing as he notices your trembling hands and red-puffed eyes, shaking his head as he curses himself for not being there sooner. He’s by your side in an instant, sittiing on the bed with a mix of concern and determination.
“C’mere,” he mutters, pulling you close. His arms wrapped tightly around you, his striped blazer soft against your cheek. “Talk to me, Babes. What’s going on?”
You want to answer, but the lump in your throat won’t let you. Instead, you bury your face into his shoulder, your breaths uneven.
Beej doesn’t press. He doesn’t ask questions. He just shifts back against the headboard, tucking you against his chest, one hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to carry it by yourself, okay? I’m here.”
The familiar rasp in his voice, usually cocky and teasing, was softer now, filled with a warmth you didn’t know you needed.
As you start to calm down, the sound of his voice keeps you grounded. “You know what you need, Babes?” he said, pulling back slightly to look at you with a small grin. “Some quality cuddle therapy... and maybe a new friend. One sec.”
Before you could protest, he vanishes with a poof, leaving you in a sense of longing, wondering where he’s gone. Only for him to reappear quickly, holding something behind his back.
“Ta-da!” He reveals a small stuffed bat with button eyes and a goofy grin. It’s actually quite cute, and it’s got a lot of character, it seems. He chuckles, and holds up the little creature, “Meet, uh... Flappy. Thought you might like him.”
The absurdity, yet adoration, of the name makes you laugh, a weak but genuine sound that seems to lift the tension in the room.
“Flappy, huh?” you say, gently taking the plushie in your hands. “What’s he doing here?”
“Oh, you know. He’s a night owl. Bit of a chatterbox. Thinks you’re the coolest guy around.”, Beej says with a large grin.
You smile, turning the toy over in your hands. “Guess he can join the others.”
Beej’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Wait, you’ve got others? Babes, you’ve been holding out on me.”
And just like that, the weight in your chest eases, feeling the utter excitement of getting to share your wholesome obsessions over your stuffed animals, each one having a characterized personality of its own. You find yourself rambling about your collection—each stuffed animal, its backstory, how you’d gotten it.
Beej listens intently, actually seeming interested in what you have to say, throwing in the occasional quip, but mostly just letting you talk.
“And this one’s name is Gemini! My friend named her, since it’s her zodiac sign, but she’s a little fruit bat, who was an orphan from the time she was a baby! She got adopted by a bunch of normal bats, who accepted her into her family, and when she grew up, she went to explore the world!”, you exclaim happily to Beej.
Beej nods with excitement, “Woah, Babes! I had no idea how much you knew about these little guys.”, he says with a joking tone and a wink.
You feel the heat rising to your cheeks, as you blush. “Sorry, I don’t mean to bore you with these little guy-”, but you’re quickly cut off.
Beej’s lips are softly pressed against yours, his eyes closed, as your eyes flutter to do the same. You wonder what made him want to do this, but you’re too shocked to care.
He pulls back slightly to look in your eyes, chuckling softly. “Do not EVER apologize for that, Babes. I think hearing about them is very sweet to hear from you. And besides, what kind of demon would love you if they didn’t hear about your little stories?”, he asks with a smile.
Your face is surely entirely red now. What did he say?
“W-What did you just say?”, you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
His black-circled eyes soften as he gazes at yours, “I love you.”, he says in a whispered tone, his gaze flickering to your lips.
Your gaze follows to his own lips, as you softly whisper back, “I love you too.”. You lean closer slowly, closing the space once again.
Out of all the backstories that you’ve shared tonight, this one will always be your favorite.
- ★ - Written By Saddled_On_Stars - ★ -
#beetlejuice#my post#beetlejuice x reader#beetlejuice x y/n#my writing#fics#keatonjuice#keatlejuice#michael keaton
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Let me clarify, again.
(So many explanations these days... I don't know if I'm not making myself clear or some of you are being obtuse. Maybe both. Maybe neither. I don't know anymore)
I didn't speak up because I wanted popularity or to gain attention. I did it because people answered under my posts calling me names for a different opinion. Because some Tumblr users (even one I had blocked) made long ass posts repeating my words to confute them (😂). And this pissed me off. Because I like being upfront irl and on line. So either tag me or ignore me. Like I do most of the time. And when I started to see that some fans were afraid to express their opinions, I decided to speak up. Because I'm not gonna let some wannabefamous blog silence me or others. That's it.
From now on, anon hate messages will be deleted. So spend your time doing more joyful activities. I'm not afraid of some Tumblr users screaming at me 😂. I'm just doing you a favour. You'll be screaming into the void.
(and I'll keep tagging my posts as haladriel and saurondriel because they are my otp on the show. I urge you to block me if you have a problem with that).
#Some of you are exhausting#rings of power#the rings of power#rop#trop#lotr rings of power#galadriel#haladriel#halbrand#sauron#saurondriel
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Stranger on the internet here to affirm that you are not going to “manifest” anything. Intrusive thoughts suck but they are also just thoughts. They can’t hurt you/others and are not more likely to happen just because you think them.
i just think that, maybe, its a bad idea to tell someone with intrusive thoughts that if they "keep thinking that way" theyre going to "manifest it" because uh. cant actually control that, chief, and youve just made it worse <3
#i have ocd#and i have had multiple people who reply to hearing about it in similar ways#and it almost always makes me spiral#but they are wrong and uninformed#like these comments can definitely do some damage to ones mental health#but that doesn’t mean they are right#its going to be okay#also if you want me to delete this reblog please let me know#I don’t want to intrude#just have had similar experiences and wanted to affirm#but let me know if you want this deleted and i will no problem#cephy speaks
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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I don't like the way you guys talk about Palestinians asking for donations. I don't like it.
I had to see someone make MULTIPLE posts bitching and moaning about how people need to stop sending them asks asking for them to reblog their donation posts, that they'd just be blocking them from now on, and that they didn't care if they were vetted because they still found the act of sending asks to get reblogs on their donation links suspicious, even if they were in a dire situation. They even went as far as to say that they got an ask, deleted it, and then they got another ask from the same person, and accused the person of sending another ask to purposefully "get under their skin"
I don't know man, have you considered that being a victim of ongoing genocide will make you ask for help in whatever way you can? And sometimes that involves sending random blogs asks to see if they can donate or at the very least share your donation links? A Palestinian reaches out to you multiple times because they need help and your response is to whine about getting donation links in your inbox? I wish I had your problems
Also the thing about "getting the exact same ask from the exact same blog multiple times"... uh, duh? First of all, they're probably reaching out to dozens of blogs daily, do you think they're gonna type up a new paragraph for each blog they reach out to? Second of all, maybe they reached out to you multiple times because a. They really really really need the help and b. What, do you think they're gonna see your URL/blog and be like "oh! I already reached out to this blog, I'm not gonna send them another ask"? Or do you think they'll be like "this person has been reblogging other people's donation posts, maybe they'll reblog mine too"?
Like I understand being suspicious about getting sent donation links to your inbox, but literally all you have to do is check if the blog's been vetted by other bloggers? It's as easy as searching for their URL on tumblr sometimes, it literally takes less than a minute or two. And that's what bothers you? That's what you're complaining about? Find a real problem!!!
#if you recognize the person i'm specifically talking about in this post please don't harass them but i got SO angry when i saw their posts#last night they made a post saying that a scammer reached out to them so i looked up the 'scammer's' url and they were vetted by more than#one blogger so i commented on their post to let them know that#and today i remembered that and was wondering if they saw my comment so i went to their blog and found they deleted the post and instead#made like four posts about what i just described. what the actual fuck is wrong with some of you people. get a real problem oh my god!!!#i'm not mad about them deleting their original post btw i'm mad about the other shit they posted#if they had. idk. been nice in their posts i mayyybe would've let it slide but no they were FUMING they were so mad. that's what really#upset me. like genuinely how dare you#it's really not that hard to check if the blog that reached out to you is a scam or not. like literally palestinian bloggers on this site#have been working day and night to let us know which blogs are real and which aren't. donate to the fundraisers share them and get a real#problem or shut the fuck up about donations for the rest of your life#palestine#free palestine#cat rambles#i said this on discord but decided i wanted to talk about it here too so i reworded a bit of what i said on discord but it's mostly the same
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#ruffled feathers#sometimes work is so fucking frustrating#like i had this one kid hit another kid and then when i told him off he just mocked me and then the entire class laughed#and like. there's nothing i can do. i can't send him out of the classroom bc i'm not allowed (there's nowhere to send him)#i can't call his parents bc i'm not allowed (and my japanese wouldn't be good enough to speak to them anyway)#i told him he couldn't join in the game and he just didn't care. spent the game throwing stuff at other kids + ruined it for everyone#then he shoved some crayons up his nose/in his ears and started running around#which is. y'know. REALLY FUCKING DANGEROUS so i can't just ignore it#when i spoke to the japanese teacher she was like 'ohh he has adhd' and i'm like ??? he assaults others. that's NOT bc of adhd#i don't work at a school i work at an eikaiwa. i'm the only staff member on location (no assistant no receptionist etc)#i have 11 kids in that class. most of them are 6-7 years old#and the japanese teacher just lets them do what they want most of the time so it's basically impossible to control them#i just. i fucking hate this classroom honestly. the kids are so disrespectful#i know it's not just me like everyone i've spoken to says it's a Problem Classroom#but also. it makes me feel like i'm a bad teacher bc i can't control the kids#it makes me feel like i should just quit my job bc obviously i'm bad at it#anyway i'm really not looking for advice here i'm just venting so please spare me the 'have you tried' messages#i've already asked my supervisor and senpais for advice and the general consensus is we need more staff#and also for the jt to not actually tolerate 7-year-olds behaving like 2-year-olds#delete later
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my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
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what if i did the unthinkable and wiped the slate completely clean so i can start the year off fresh and without the weight of unfinished drafts... would y’all be upset
#naturally!! if there's something you wanted me to save i would#and if you're working on a reply currently pls do bc i won't drop it#but i'm just thinking my problem rn is i feel tired from life and frozen bc i have so much that i've allowed to pile up that i can't#make up my mind what to work on first so i focus on other things like headcanons#i dunno i'm just trying to think of what i can do to get back into a groove bc i've hardly been writing like i used to#the latter chunk of this year has just been rough and it shows as far as my creative output#ahhhhhhh i dunno y'all let me look through some drafts and just see if i can make my brain cooperate#i hate dropping anything tbh especially when i know there are a lot of threads i love to pieces that i'd be letting go :(#how does anyone delete drafts and asks and feel at peace about it---#get ready to ramble | ooc#tbd
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#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok)#and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk#and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling?#like one id have good relationships with uk???#and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it?#anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit?#be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time#and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly#but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone?????#like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it#and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right?#and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty???#at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf#idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense?#ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead#and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources#it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!???#yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do#vi.txt
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like…. UGH!!!!!!!!! girl help im in the water. girl help i cannot ASK for help i cannot communicate my needs i cannot translate myself a) at all but especially b) when there is no trust and… there is no trust. the trust was aready going extremely downhill and then it shattered and i am angry and hurt about it every day and i am still not over it. and this email i have to reply to has been making me upset for 2 days straight that’s why i haven’t replied i wanted it to happen but i don’t want to be a WIMP but i don’t see any way to make this work without admitting / revealing that i am one. about to swan dive into a vat of toxic sludge god bless 🙏🏻💞
#purrs#not abt anyone / anything here btw this is just….. puts my head in my hands. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#yes i desperatey want to be independent and normal yes i am terrified of independence and normalcy i do not see a problem with this <3. yes#i want to redacted no i will not ask for it or assert my needs yes i Iwill always and forever let you walk all over me instead of with me be#becusss yes i feel like you will hate me if you get to know me yes these shoes are made for walking… ON EGGSHELLS!!!! 🤑💃🏻🤑💃🏻🤑💃🏻🤑#delete later#hmmmm maybe i will reply on saturday and just think abt this some more and chalk it up to a busy week which it has been. but ummmmm pain and#suffering like. lol. the MORTIFYING ordeal of being perceived for what i am. of asking to be known. when i don’t know…. redacted. LOL !#also literally it is so fucking sad im making this post in 2022. it’s so sad. like how did we get here. i am asking soooo fucking genuinely.#and also bashing my head against the wall at 2.5x speed. btw. if you [subject of this post] even care </3#anyways *says im going to stop posting abt personal things* *immediately does it 10x more egregiously* i am normal i am i am iam i am 💁🏻♀️
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Sometimes I hear people say that they would love to be adopted by Bruce Wayne. No you wouldn’t. Run. Get the fuck out of dodge. This man can not communicate his feelings or emotions at all and only verbalizes them with grunts and half-hearted hand motions that just make you more confused. And even on the good days its tainted by the fact that you know he doesnt love you for you, he loves you for a symbol. A status. Fucking leave. Fucking run. Do not let this man adopt you you will have daddy issues x10000 because somehow this bitch gets worse and then there’s multiple dimensions worth of him like what the fuck man
#Im projecting on Jason Todd but also WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING??? IF HE ADOPTS YOU THATS LIKE GETTING 5 MENTAL ILLNESSES FOR FREE#BUY ONE GET 6 FREE EXCEPT THE 6 ARE ALL DADDY ISSUES AND THEY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO GET YOU#jesus christ I lose my mind a lil bt#also my dad is so much like bruce in the communication department it kills me I want to cause a problem like HHHHHHHHHHH#I dont think this will pop up on main but let me know if it does and Ill delete this is suppose to be a scream into the void#I have daddy issues and I project on Jason todd about it someone end me
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#sometimes I see people complaining about dnis and it’s like. no you’re missing the point#true sometimes people do have inscrutable dnis. or they’re contradictory. or too highly specific.#saying ‘bigots dni’ or ‘assholes dni’ is useless it’s true#HOWEVER#for me at least. a dni is more about letting people know what to expect from you#I say ‘x dni’ both to deter ‘x’ from interacting#and also so that ‘y’ knows I’m safe to interact with#plus#on the rare occasion that I accidentally reblog something that supports x#people who follow me can look at my stated opinions and ideals and realize that it was probably a mistake#and hopefully let me know so I can delete it#another point I see brought up against dnis is#‘well instead of saying you don’t like terfs why dont you just reblog posts supporting trans people’#and well yeah. I do. but i reblog a lotta stuff and someone might have to scroll kinda far to see that#so why not just make it easier and put it at the top of my page?#another another point I just saw is that dnis increase interaction from the people you don’t want interacting#well I dont see how that’s my problem.#also I don’t think that’s ever happened to me. idk how that would happen#and idk about you but if I’m on someone’s dni I don’t interact. If someone has ‘@ntis dni’ in their bio I’m staying far away#like. I really don’t think this is that hard or strange.#like I said I do sometimes see dnis and think they’re too long or simultaneously too specific and too vague#but those people are usually either young or inexperienced or maybe just don’t totally get it#that doesn’t mean they deserve to be ridiculed#they’re just trying to make the internet a comfortable place to be. what’s wrong with that?#if someone’s dni pisses you off just don’t interact.#block and move on. isn’t that what you guys are all about?#mine
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It's is especially at one in the morning that you realise how ridiculous "I shouldn't go take dancing classes even though I desperately need a hobby that would let me fix the issue of me being so ridiculously short of breath that they genuinely worried about my health because, well, i can't dance." actually sounds. My brother in Christ you're supposed to learn how to do that there.
#apparently I have the same lung volume as someone with copd according to the tests#i don't have copd though I don't think so at least#too healthy for that#sigh there's some classmates of mine who dance I could ask them where they do it but....hmm thats always more embarrassing#when there's people you know so mean#I'd have no issue teaching tht myself but problem one is learning wrong technique can in a lot of things result in health problems#and problem too is that you can't really do stuff you need two people for alone#i don't even wanna /dance/ you know I just think knowing the standard stuff would be nice#i can walz kind of#as said you don't really get good when your partner is a blanket#but I can so the leading position in a standard waltz#ahh and I don't know if that would work out anyways I graduate next year would it even make sense to start something new now#but I really do need a hobby thats not. nothing actually I have video games but I consider those a hobby i just play them in my free time#to relax you know#it's not like I'm actually doing anything much#i mean I am#but I don't know if I'd call it a hobby#reading also isn't really a hobby to me I read in the evenings before bed i don't think thats already hobby status#and drawing lost hobby status when I picked the art major now it's something productive#but I don't want to do like. actually hard sport or anything in that direction i don't want to take up swimming again for example#i just want to do something with myself i guess#but this is all hypothetical anyways for now i better worry about my theoretical tomorrow and pray i know the question#please don't let me fuck this up#delete later
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Lol
#////////////////////#////#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#//////////////#i feel like a waste of space and a leech on resources.#Im so fucking dumb and stupid. I don't do anything right. I have no passion. No energy. I'm lazy as can be. Can't get a job. Can't hold a#job. Can't do anything steady to save my life. I'm fucking worthless. I feel so stupid. I can't maintain friendships. There's nothing in my#eyes when I look in the mirror. I'm already dead. I'm just letting myself rot at this point#I'm jealous. I'm stupid. I can't hold a fucking conversation to save me. Im not trying hard enough. everyone else had actusl real problems.#oh you're depressed in mommy and daddys house where you pay nothing at all? fuckong grow up you bitch. that's what you are. a fuckong dumbas#s bitch Elias. Fuckinh look at yourself#i should have just gone to college *** ****** ****** like god intended me too. I've know since 4th grade I don't know why I even bothered as#i got older. it'd do my friends a whole lot.#its so fucking tempting to just delete everything and not ever talk again. Im never gping to achieve anything becuase I was fucking dumb ass#kid who didn't apply himself. boo hoo you struggled in school everyone else did too. you're mot fucking special. you don't have anything#wrong with you. you just want attention. Get hit again bitch and maybe you'd grow a fucking spine. Look at yourself. Almost 21 and you're#nothing but a fucking cesspool of waste. You're disgusting. Nobody actually wants you and you know.#im so fucking tired of it all. I should have gone several states away and never came back. There's nothing for me here. There never was and#there's never going to be because nobody wants me. not any person not any job. not anything#its a chore to be around me and everyone always makes better friends and connections that aren't me because I can't be a fucking normal#person. * ***** **** **** ** *** *“” **** **** ** ******!#none lf my relationships last because people see through my bullshit and jump fucking ship because its the right thing to do. ***'** *******#**** ****** ******!! Why bother with me. *** ******* **** *** **** ****** i know it#elias.zip#even if i get a job I'll still be fucking miserable because thats all my life will ever be. miserable. it's never going to start to get#good. ever. I'm not meant for anything. not meant for this.
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......I can't remember which things have still been an issue lately n which ones he's already dropped.
#doll#has he still been doin the thing where he tries to push my boundaries little bit at a time even though he says he's fine w/ em#cause tumblr tells me the last time i remember it happening was a lot longer ago than i thought#i guess maybe he hasn't n i just don't trust him to not start again when things calm down around here#or maybe i'm just still hung up on that one cause he just wouldn't let it go like usually#n cause he actually tried to talk me into smth he KNOWS i'm not ok w/ instead of just. sayin some stuff i don't rly like#yea ok i guess i am still pretty hung up on it#i mean i know it was cause i asked him (n he agreed) to delete the stuff from his phone. needed to feel like he's still in control or smth#can't you get the control back w/ somethin that doesn't make me feel like you rly just want your empty headed sex doll back#...head's still pretty empty. just not in the opinions n feelings department ig#almost all our problems would be solved if we just never had sex again. or talked about it. sigh.#unfortunately.......i'm needy#n i guess that'd just be avoiding the actual problem of him forgettin most of what he's promised the moment he's um. distracted#need to put my big boy pants on n have an actual talk abt things again but......i dun wanna. too tired.#i guess i could just....see how things go. cause i can't remember what i was supposed to talk about anyway#spdrvent
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