#just have had similar experiences and wanted to affirm

[turbolezgooo]

Bro this outrage about CaitVi relationship in S2 is baseless

Come on. They started their adventure when they met in jail. There was already tension and attraction the moment they met but it was all swept aside because of their individual agenda (Finding a lost sister, proving themselves, saving people, etc). Everything started with some things unspoken. Every time bad things happened they never blamed each other. When Vi stopped Cait from shooting Jinx, Cait never said it was the wrong choice or that it was Vi's fault that her mom died. Cait came to Vi's arms and they held each other. Cait's suggestion for Vi to join the enforcers wasn't a fully thought-out delivery as she admitted later on but it was her offer to allow Vi to make choices when they went after her sister. Cait understood the importance of Jinx to Vi even after Jinx killed her mother. The only problem they had was that Vi wasn't ready to let go of her sister, but she trusted Cait to do what "needed" to be done. To take the step she never could. It was a deep and personal problem that Cait never took offense to and how could anyone?

Cait was upset after Vi stopped her from taking the shot again, but that wasn't really because she wanted Jinx dead. It was because she had unresolved grief. Sadness, anger, rebound relationships, burying herself in work- all telltale signs. While it was messed up for Vi to say what she said in the pit, Cait did reflect on how she was "acting more like Jinx". When Cait spoke with Singed, she understood how an act of love can seem "unspeakable" to others (like why Vi kept protecting Jinx even though she had killed Cait's mother and her adoptive family). On the other side of the coin. Vi laments everything she decides relating to her sister and literally beats herself up over the consequences along with what she said in the pit to Cait. She felt she had lost everything again because of her choices and what she said. Then Jinx, Vander, and Isha came back along-- she had another shot to save her family. When Singed walks out of the commune, it's actually pretty symbolic that Vi walks a similar path and ends up seeing Cait again. At this point, Cait already has some time to think about what happened between her and Vi. You could see there's the spark of passion and trust first before even a hint of resentment. In the aftermath of the commune, Vi is upset at Cait that Jinx is in prison but there's a lot to back up her reaction. She didn't trust Cait fully with her sister and father on the line because she didn't know if grief and Ambessa still had a hold on Cait. And of course, Vi's own experience of losing her family and imprisonment is a trigger. When all the cards were down, they held space for each other. Even though Cait still hated Jinx, she saw how Jinx wanted her sister safe. She didn't make the decision to put Jinx in prison, she didn't punish her, or make decisions without Vi. Although Vi should have responded better to Cait saying Jinx still needed to take responsibility, Cait needed to hear the echo of who she was- grounded and someone who does believe in people. Cait's and Jinx's interaction shows where Cait was moving towards. An understanding. A clearer picture of who Jinx really was and how she saw herself. How she wasn't the villain she thought she was. Why Vi keeps trying to save her over and over. The similarities between the two sisters. Cait and Vi both just needed time & space to get back to a mutual understanding of themselves and each other. Cait affirms her understanding and acceptance of Vi and her family by staging the breakout. Vi affirms that she understands and accepts whatever Cait does due to grief or clouded judgment. Nothing changed their feelings for each other. The jail scene is a culmination of their journey as individuals and as a couple. They come back to the start but now everything else that came in the way is gone. No responsibilities. Nothing to prove. All that's left are two women who've been through hell and came away with more understanding and love for each other. It wasn't out of place IMO.

I feel that the relationship was NOT underdeveloped or 'badly' written. You just need to understand unwavering love. If you've ever consumed sapphic content, ya'll have to really read between the lines and dig deep lmao. Everything ended with some things unspoken. That's just how sapphic content traditionally has been. Watch a Portrait of a Lady on Fire and write an essay or something. Do better. Be gayer.

[cephy-the-squid]

Stranger on the internet here to affirm that you are not going to “manifest” anything. Intrusive thoughts suck but they are also just thoughts. They can’t hurt you/others and are not more likely to happen just because you think them.

i just think that, maybe, its a bad idea to tell someone with intrusive thoughts that if they "keep thinking that way" theyre going to "manifest it" because uh. cant actually control that, chief, and youve just made it worse <3

[dearsnow]

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

- phoenix and her girlfriend set you up with a wso they insist will be right up your alley. (robert “bob” floyd x fem!reader, fluff, reader is meant to be similar to bob, ie quiet, sweet, and nerdy, mentions of being drunk/having sex but nothing explicit)

word count: 2,003

a/n - this fic is parallel HEAVY, so don’t be surprised if you see the same phrase passed around. it’s truly a mindlink esque situation lol. and it’s 100% self-indulgent because the reader’s personality is so similar to mine (i am nothing if not a self caterer)

“Nat, I’m really not sure.” Bob tries to protest. “You know I’m no good with dating and stuff. Who’s to say she’ll even like me?” Natasha pats him on the back, firmly enough for him to know she means it.

“You guys are birds of a feather. Trust me, she’ll like you.”

“Jamie, I just don’t know.” You frown. She’s trying to set you up with her girlfriend’s friend, claiming that you’d be the perfect match, but you know you’re not the most amazing when it comes to meeting new people. You’re slightly awkward at best, socially anxious at worst. “He probably won’t like me. And if we’re really so similar, don’t you think it’ll be stiff and weird because neither of us can say the right, flirty thing?”

“You don’t need to be ‘flirty’ to have a good connection. Not every relationship is going to be like Natasha and I, all fire and flame. Sometimes it’s slow, and slow is good. It’s exactly what you need.” Jamie chides, putting a soothing arm around your shoulder. “Trust me. Birds of a feather, right?”

You shift uncomfortably in the booth you’re sitting in, Jamie’s hand rubbing the side of your arm comfortingly. It’s ten minutes before your supposed double date, and Natasha affirms that it’s about five minutes before he shows up. “Bob’s always early,” she stated, “so we can be even earlier to give you some prep time.”

You’re quiet. Shy, even, and you don’t have the best track record with social events. You’ve never really had a date that understood why you don’t want to get roaringly drunk and have sex in a bathroom and whatnot. The two girls, one in front of you and one by your side, have assured you that Bob will be different. He’s quiet too, but he stands up for himself. He’s strong and capable, with a humble attitude and the slight southern charm that you can bring home to your parents. If he’s really so great, though, what the hell is he doing going out with you?

Bob can see your booth through the door of the diner, and he steels his nerves quietly. He’s got this. He’ll make it a nice dinner, a nice experience, and he will not, under any circumstances, fuck it up. He owes you that much. He knows he’s probably not what you want in a guy. Natasha described you as hardworking, kind, and a good listener. He can’t help but think that you deserve much better than him.

He takes a breath and pushes open the door, the flowers in his other hand a little damp from his sweaty palms.

When he finally rounds the server stand, he can see you. And you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever had the pleasure of setting sights on.

He’s royally fucked, he thinks.

Oh my god, he’s so hot. You smile at him and curse a bit under your breath, careful to not let anyone hear. He’s everything you imagined and more, with sandy colored hair, bright blue eyes, and glasses that look like they’re just a little crooked. If you were bold, you’d reach across the table and fix them as he sat down. You’re not, though, so you just fidget with your hands under the hard wood.

He clears his throat and hands you a small bouquet of daises, sliding into the spot across from you. Nat gives a little self-satisfied smile from next to him. “Hi. I didn’t know what you liked, so I hope that’s okay. I’m- I’m Robert by the way, or Bob, whatever you prefer.”

You think your cheeks will split open from how hard you’re smiling. It’s such a small gesture, but the blush on his cheeks tells you that it’s earnest. “They’re perfect. Thank you, Bob.” You introduce yourself with the next breath, and he shakes your hand like it’s a business meeting. His palms are warm and just a little bit damp, but when his fingers curl around your own like they were meant to fit together, you couldn’t care less. “So,” you begin, somewhat shyly, “you’re Natasha’s WSO?”

When Bob hears your quiet voice, he knows he’s in deep. “Yeah. She’s a great pilot.” His praise earns him an elbow from Natasha, a silent ‘talk about yourself, dipshit’ evident in the action. He smiles nervously. “We do a lot of the weapons bits so the pilots can fly safely. How about you, what do you do?”

“It’s not as important and exciting as your job, that’s for sure.” You laugh before explaining exactly what you do.

“Honestly, that is important and exciting. I’m sure you excel at it, too,” Bob offers, somewhat bashfully. What makes your head spin is that he seems like he means it. He’s sincere, wonderfully so.

As that statement quirks the corners of your mouth up, Bob’s heart explodes. You’re charming and beautifully sweet, with a pretty smile and dashing eyes to boot.

Jamie enters your conversation carefully, like she wants to help but isn’t forcing anything. Natasha pipes in a few times, but overwhelmingly, it’s you and Bob. Neither of you have ever spoken so much in this type of setting before, and it’s great. You bounce ideas and jokes and quips off of each other like you were meant to. You feel like you were meant to, because everything just comes so easily with Robert Floyd. You’re finally talking to someone who understands every bit of you, polishing the hidden parts of yourself until they shine. You never thought you could feel this way with another person.

“Wait, have you read this book called For One More Day?” You ask, finding every opportunity to drag out a subject you enjoy so deeply. “It’s really sad, like a fictional memoir, but I think you’d enjoy it. The whole story is basically an ode to loving your parents while they’re still around.”

“I haven’t, but I’ll be sure to check it out the next time I go go the library.” Bob says, giving a slightly lopsided grin that makes your heart scream. “It seems right up my alley though. I like non fiction books, mostly, but I could go for a change every once and a while.”

Your food is almost forgotten in the midst of the conversation, and his is too. “When you do read fiction, what genres do you go for? I have a million recommendations, so help me narrow them down a bit.”

Bob will never admit this to his friends, but he’s an avid reader. He’s a sucker for a true story or anything about dogs, however, he’d read anything you could ever think to tell him about. He has already made a mental note to check out For One More Day and is currently making more notes as you list off more dog-central books. You, as you’ve told him, go for more of the fancy prose-d, heavy drama-d, and emotion-filled stories. It’s nice to see you like this, talking about something you’re honestly passionate about. The light in your eyes makes you look like a ray of sunshine.

Jamie grins at Natasha from across the table, utterly and unashamedly content that her plot has worked. Natasha rolls her eyes. “Alright, you two,” Nat says, “can we move on to something more exciting? Like planning a second date, maybe. One where Jamie and I can be happy at home while you two nerd out.”

Bob’s face reddens and you give a small, sheepish smile. “I’d like that.” You say.

“Me too.” Bob adds. Natasha can firmly say that she’s never seen him so happy, not even after a successful flight. It’s like he’s finally found the thing that made him tick, like you reached into his chest and wound up the gear box in his heart. “I’m free this Friday, if you’re up for it.”

You tap your fingers on the tabletop, thinking. “This Friday… this Friday is when I’m doing a book reading for the kids at our local library at lunchtime. We could have dinner after that, though.” You want to spend the entire day with him, but if a few hours is all you’re given, you’ll take it. You’d take anything.

Bob’s hands move to touch yours, just barely. His warmth radiates out, perfectly soothing your nerves. “If you want, I can make lunch and help you out at the book reading. I like those kinds of things, but I don’t want to impose.”

“You absolutely should.” You breathe. “You wouldn’t be imposing at all. In fact, I think the kids would really like it if Mr. Naval Aviator read a few books to them. You’d be like a superhero in their eyes.”

You’re a bit astounded by how much Bob’s face flushes. If you thought he was a bit pink before, he’s got a drunk man’s glow now. And you were being completely, one hundred percent honest when you said that the kids would like him. They’d love him. Micah’s father was in the Navy when he was younger, so there’s one connection, and April loves airplanes with a passion. It would be amazing.

“Then I’ll be there. Here’s my number, so you can text me when and where.” Bob slides a little piece of paper over to you, one that he must have written a bit ago, because his pen is securely clipped to his pocket. He likes you so much he wrote down his number while you were (probably) explaining your love for reading, or crafts, or small animals? You’re going to swoon if he keeps this up.

Natasha eyes where your hand is touching Bob’s. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. Now eat your food.” She gestures to your half-touched plates. You and Bob both stutter a little, completely having forgotten what you’re going to have to pay for.

The rest of the evening goes amazingly. You talk about so many subjects that by the end of the day, when the sun is slipping below the horizon, you feel like you’re floating on air— light and unburdened by the way you’ve been able to express yourself. Bob insisted on paying for your meal, and though you protested, a little part of you feels giddy that you’re worth spending money on. Bob walks you to your car, tucking your flowers into the cup holder between your seat and the passenger side.

“I really enjoyed that.” He muses. “I really enjoyed you. I thought Nat and Jamie were kinda full of it when they told me about this whole double date, but I’m glad they weren’t.”

“Me too, oh my gosh. I was totally expecting some stuck-up Navy nerd, but I’m glad it was you. I enjoy you too, Bob, probably way too much.” You’re standing by your door, but you feel like you can’t leave just yet.

He looks at you with something you hope to think is affection in his eyes before glancing down towards your lips. “I’ll let you get going. Text me anytime.”

You hesitate, staring up into his ocean blue eyes. Before you can stop yourself or tell yourself it’s a bad idea, you take the collar of his shirt in your hand and kiss him.

It feels right. His hand coming up to rest on your waist, his body pressed against yours as he stabilizes himself on your car, it’s everything you’ve always dreamed of. His lips work in tandem with your own, like they’re collaborating on some sort of secret mission, and he kisses you like he loves you.

His pupils are blown up and he’s panting just slightly when you pull away. He misses the feeling of your lips on his as soon as it ends, the tingling sensation working its way down his face. “T-Thank you…?” He whispers. You laugh, the sound music to his ears. He can hardly believe that that just happened.

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Definitely.“

You give him a small peck on the cheek and step into your car, so happy you think you could explode. As you pull out, and as he waves at you from the parking lot, you make an effort to remember to thank Jamie and Natasha.

Who would’ve thought that you really would be birds of a feather?

Taglist: @seitmai

[dollwrites]

Kakashi doing the shadow clone jutsu and you get doubled teamed 😩

— ⟡ dizzy drabbles disclaimer !!

all dizzy drabbles are written when i am extremely high ( or, dizzy ) and they don’t contain a trigger warnings list. if there’s no indication by the request, you can assume that the fic is nsfw + probably dark-leaning, if not blatantly dark. noncon, dub con, and other triggering content may be present, read with caution ( enjoy your experience <3 )

what about… gangbanging you instead? hehehe !! kakashi’s always wanted to see you airtight— stuffed with cock in every hole, watching you take as many cocks as you could possibly handle at once, and he’s told you so many times before, but you were always apprehensive. even if he was involved and even if the other men were his friends, it still felt like cheating.

“besides, you know i love the way you feel. i don’t want to have sex with anyone else.”

well, now, Kakashi had an idea.

and of course he waits until you’ve already cum once; riding his cock, rocking back and forth with your palms planted on his thighs. with your head thrown back in ecstasy, eyes closed, you don’t see it happen, but you felt a similar grip on your face, jerking your head to the side— his thumb pressing into your jaw to force it open. you let out a startled moan, cut short by a mouthful of cock.

“Mmmff!!”

both hands flee to reach for the obstruction, before your arms are hooked, under the elbow, by two much stronger ones, and brought together behind you. your eyes flicker upwards to see who your assailant is, only to find a mirror of Kakashi staring back at you. you glance, panicked, to the man you’re perched atop, and see that you’re not crazy. you’re still riding Kakashi.

“have i fucked you silly already?” his familiar, playful purr vibrates against the shell of your ear, and you shudder, realizing that the man holding you from behind must also be Kakashi’s twin. “you look so confused. you really don’t know what i did? think long and hard, pretty girl.”

and then it dawned on you what he’d done. with a muffled, moan of approval, you clamp your mouth harder around your lover’s cloned cock, sucking until your eyes crossed.

“uh-huh, that’s the look i wanted. you said you loved the way i feel, right? that you only want to fuck me?” you mewl, gargling on him, a half coherent affirmation, and he chuckles, raspy and wanton. you feel the second clone, the one at your back, worm his way between your asscheeks, spit-slicked cock head pushing up against the ring. luckily, you were so sensitive from cumming that you spasmed and wiggled, pushing back to impale yourself with the second cock.

you whine. the stretch is so incredible, the fullness mind blowing. and, when you open your eyes, scanning the room, you could see a multitude of Kakashi clones, all lined up, stroking their identical cocks, waiting their turns to decimate you.

“good, then i’ll just see how many of me it takes to break you, pretty girl.”

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Could you do 57, 65, and 69 for Neteyam x Metkayina reader who assists tsireya and aonung in teaching the sullys but while doing so she wants to also learn their ways :) Oh! And how about Reader making traditional courting jewelry for Neteyam (after asking for help from Jake and Neytiri duhh)

#57: Validation/Affirmation/Identity, #65: Promise/Pinky Swear, #69: You Remembered

Pairing: Neteyam/Metkayina!Fem!Reader

Warnings: identity crisis, fluff, blood, time skips, near-death experience, young love

Taglist: @neteyamsl0ver @mooniequeen

A/N: I do apologize if I don't fulfill the full request since I had a similar prompt for Lo'ak and I didn't want the brothers to have similar stories. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~

While Lo'ak, Kiri, and Tuk adapted and thrived in Awa'atlu, Neteyam wasn't as successful. 

As the firstborn and brought up as the once-future olo'eyktan, Neteyam was raised off of Omatikaya culture and nothing else. He was raised to be a warrior and a leader, taught by the many other leaders of his clan. Both his parents and his grandmother taught him everything they knew and more. He loved it and was passionate about his people's lifestyle, so he struggled to learn anything else, much like his mother.

Both Neytiri and her oldest felt so out of place among the Metkayina, always homesick and mourning their former lives, now changed forever. Now that Tarsem replaced Jaked as the Omatikaya's chief, Neytiri would no longer be tsahik after Mo'at and Neteyam would never become olo'eyktan. Everything he was taught, all that hard work and striving for perfection... no longer mattered. 

Neteyam felt as though he didn't belong among the reef people, but his siblings clearly weren't in the same boat. Tsireya was an excellent teacher and Lo'ak clung to every word she said. It also didn't hurt how close he had gotten with the chief's daughter to the point where he was always given one-on-one lessons with her. Once Ao'nung and Lo'ak got over their differences, they actually became good friends and Rotxo was never far behind. 

Neteyam's sisters also thrived in Awa'atlu and found friends in Rotxo, Ao'nung, and Tsireya. To none of the Sullys' surprise, Kiri was a natural swimmer and deep-diver who barely struggled with holding her breath. And while Tuk was young and inexperienced, she was still young enough to relearn how to survive and adapt to this new lifestyle. By the time she's Neteyam's age, she'll be a far more skilled Metkayina than her older brother could ever hope to be.

It was such an uncommon feeling-- for Neteyam to be the odd one out. He had always fit in with the people around him, while his siblings... not so much, but he never loved them less for it and he always tried to understand their emotions. Now, finally, he fully understood how they felt to be the outsider. 

Those thoughts always vanish, however, whenever he is in your presence. 

Adamant on teaching the Sully children alongside Tsireya, you had grown fond of Neteyam almost immediately. At first, you spent one-on-one time to help him catch up with his siblings' progress. As his teacher, Neteyam found that he was able to focus and absorb the information whenever it was just you and him. He learned how to hold his breath underwater, ride an ilu, the sign language, the tulkun songs, and it was all because of you, his savior. 

As your friendship bloomed, Neteyam opened up more about his clan and their way of life, which always piqued your interest. By the time he came to terms with his feelings for you, he also began to share his inner thoughts, how he initially felt like an outsider among the Metkayina and a little envious of his siblings since they managed to adapt so quickly. 

"That is ridiculous," you scoff good-naturedly as you sit beside him on the beach one night, "You will always be the son of Toruk Makto, but you are also one of us now. There's no shame in missing what you lost back home. Your friends, your status, and the life you loved, but that doesn't mean you can't love the new life you're starting here. There's no harm in change. Take the ocean for example."

He watches as you dip your hand into the wet sand, letting the shallow water spill into the crevice of your palm. The glowing algae once swimming in the water now swirled in your hand in a way Neteyam could only imagine pixie dust would look like based on his father's stories from Earth. 

You lift your hand up and watch as the glowing water falls through the cracks of your fingers, shimmering as it splashes back down into the ocean, "It's always changing and it never stays in one place. When the tide takes you out, you're not supposed to fight it. You have to swim alongside it or you will drift away. Do not fight change, Neteyam. Let it happen. Your brother mentioned a saying from the Sky People and I think perfectly encapsulates what I am trying to say. 'Go with the flow.'"

You weren't expecting the laugh that jostles from Neteyam's chest, but you welcomed it all the same, smiling victoriously at getting him to laugh. It was a deep sound in his throat, and he looked so free and relaxed, the sight made your stomach warm. Once he recovers, he smiles back at you, loosely and genuinely.

"Thank you, Y/n."

You nod, jutting your chin out with confidence, "Just wait. You'll be a warrior among us sooner than later, just as you are with the Omatikaya. I am sure of it."

"Pinky swear?"

Your brow ridge furrows, tilting your head in confusion, "What?"

"Oh, right," Neteyam breathes a small laugh as a thought dawns on him, "It's a human thing. Alien custom. You link your smallest fingers together to form a sacred vow-- a promise, and after that, you can't break it. It works for people with extra fingers, like Lo'ak and Kiri. Our father taught us."

He clenches one hand into a fist except for the last finger, his smallest. You stare oddly at his hand before staring down at your own, mimicking the same movement and pointing only with your smallest finger, "What happens if you break the promise?"

"... You know, I don't actually know," Neteyam sheepishly admits, bowing his head to hide the embarrassment on his face, "My father can be timid sometimes so I just never bothered to find out."

You hum but don't question it further, allowing Neteyam to lock your small fingers together. Despite the weird custom, it made your face warm to feel the heat of his body so close to yours, your fingers linked together to seal a sacred vow. 

~~~~~~~~~

As this unspoken thing progressed between you and Neteyam, the Sky People were closing in on the Sullys' location. Eventually, war came to the reef and you and the other reef children got caught up in it after following Lo'ak and his siblings to save Payakan. Things took a turn for the worse and suddenly you find yourself kneeling on a slippery rock surface before Neteyam, desperately trying to help Lo'ak as you both press your hands into the older boy's chest to stop the bleeding. The sight haunted you as Neteyam's eyes wildly looked around, appearing unable to focus on just one person as he struggled to breathe, his body going into shock. He was shivering from head to toe but not quite cold, gasping for breath even though he wasn't drowning. Even as tears blurred your vision, you didn't dare draw your hands away, stomping down the fear of losing Neteyam and instead replacing that fear with determination to save him. 

You, Lo'ak, and the human known as Spider worked as a team, following Toruk Makto's instructions and doing whatever Tsireya told you to do with her knowledge of healing. By the time Neytiri had managed to find her family in the chaos of the battlefield, the bleeding had begun to slow. Even though you had saved Neteyam a little more time, you weren't out of the woods yet. Neteyam needed real healing from Ronal and at the same time, Kiri and Tuk needed rescuing from the ship of metal the Sky People sailed on. Both Sully parents were conflicted about what they should do until you and Tsireya took control of the situation. Together, you two convinced Jake and Neytiri to go rescue their daughters while you swore to take the unconscious Neteyam back to the village. They expressed their gratitude before taking off, and then Lo'ak and Spider helped you and Tsireya get Neteyam onto an ilu. You girls took Neteyam to Ronal while the boys stayed behind, not wanting to go back until they knew Kiri and Tuk had been safely rescued. 

The rest of the Sullys returned to Awa'atlu hours later, tired but mostly unharmed and desperate to see their son and brother. To their shared relief, you and Tsireya had brought Neteyam to the tsahik just in time, and Ronal held Neytiri after the crying mother was reassured that her son would live.

It was hard for you to visit Neteyam as time went on. He had woken up a week after the Sky People were defeated, but he was constantly surrounded by his family so you didn't think your presence was needed. You didn't want to crowd him any more than he already was, constantly looked after by his loved ones while he healed. It was torture for you, knowing that he was safe but still haunted by the memory of his blood on your hands. You hadn't seen him in so long and you needed to be sure he was whole and on the way to recovery. You needed to see him with your own two eyes and so finally, you gained the courage to approach Toruk Makto and his mate.

After everything you have done for Neteyam and their family, Jake and Neytiri were more than happy to make sure you had some time alone with Neteyam to talk and catch up. They took their other children away for the afternoon and flashed you small smiles of encouragement, silently offering some good luck. 

Neteyam looked up from his cot upon hearing the sound of someone entering his family's kelku, and seemed genuinely surprised by who stood in the doorway, "Y/n?"

You faintly smile, his voice saying your name sounded like a soft lullaby you haven't heard in so long. You move over to the cot and kneel before him, scanning his face. Apart from the bandages wrapped around his chest, he looked like himself, "You look better."

You immediately flush with embarrassment when those words leave your lips and you instantly backtrack, "I mean-- I just-- I'm glad that you are on the mend."

Instead of appearing offended, Neteyam's forehead wrinkles as he peers up at you with concern in his voice, "Where have you been? I was worried."

Both happiness and shame battle in your gut, touched that he was worried about you but guilty for not seeing him sooner to ease both of your pain. You lower your voice to a whisper, bringing your hand to brush a braid out of his face, "I'm sorry. I didn't think you needed someone else at your bedside. You have so many people who love you and want to see you get better, so I wanted to give you some air to breathe. I'm sorry. I won't do that again unless you ask me."

He catches the hand you used to push aside his braid and takes your fingers in his before you can pull away, bringing your hand to rest on the side of his face. He leans into your palm, murmuring against your skin, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," you exhale shakily, tears beginning to brim in your eyes, but they were out of joy and relief, "I... I'm so happy you're awake. I have something for you."

You don't pull your hand away, wanting to keep touching Neteyam's face, his skin warm and alive beneath yours. You use your free hand to grab the item you placed on the floor beside you and hold it up for the forest boy to see. Neteyam tilts his head up to take a look and his eyes widen in shock. 

Beads carved from trees, not shells, the fiber stripped from plants on land, not from the seaweed floating underwater. All of it was woven into an intricately made armband that was clearly inspired by Omatikaya fashion. 

You place the band in Neteyam's free hand, his eyes still wide as his thumb traced over the pattern. He wets his bottom lip and blinks, still shocked while trying to form words, "What...?"

"I hope it's to your liking," you explain even as the heat rises to your face, "Your mother and father helped me make it."

Whatever you said must have been the right answer as a smile suddenly blooms on Neteyam's mouth, "It reminds me of my clan. Of home."

He could only describe whatever he was feeling in his chest as warmth and love, taking over whatever soreness he was still feeling from his wound. He looks away from the armband and peers up at you with a wordless question in his eyes. Warmth spreads in his stomach when you understand his silent question and you assist him in putting on the armband without another word. It fit perfectly on him, and it was even better knowing that you made it. 

"Thank you, ma'tìyawn. This means so much to me," his head and ears began to lower in shame, "I'm sorry I didn't make anything for you."

"It's alright," you whisper gently, swallowing a small cry that threatens to escape as you shakily exhale, "I... I would rather have you alive than a piece of jewelry."

He immediately moves to comfort you, staying on his back knowing that his mother would scold him but taking your hand in his once again and placing a kiss in the center of your palm, "Once I'm healed, I would like to ask your family for their permission to court you officially. I want to make proper jewelry for you, one that perfectly resembles your own clan."

A darker shade of blue crept over your face but you were too happy to notice, bashful yet relieved that your feelings were reciprocated, "Once you are healed, you can do so."

"And... And I want to take you back to the forests where I grew up," he admits quietly, "I want to introduce you to the Omatikaya, all my friends and family back home. I don't think we would be able to stay there because of the war, but I want to bring you for a visit."

You beam with wonder and excitement, stomach flipping at the thought of future plans being made with your young lover, "I would love to go meet your clan. We will go when there is time."

Then, you lift a hand up to him, pointing out the last finger on your hand as you confidently declare, "Pinky promise."

His expression melts into a sweet, fond smile, carefully lifting his hand up and linking your smallest fingers together, "You remembered..."

~~~~~~~~~

MASTERLIST

REQUESTS

[charmedreincarnation]

Success story (not the void)

Maya, as I promised you, I'm writing you my success story. It's quite a wild one, so please bear with me.

My journey started during the Angel era, when I was struggling with the void state. I tried everything I could think of to get out of it - every method, every meditation technique, affirming, intention, lucid dreaming, and even coaching from various LoA experts, including those not so well-known. I was desperate for a breakthrough, a key to unlock the life I deserved. I would have done anything, even ate dirt if that was what it took.

At that time, my family was going through a rough patch. My abusive father, a police officer, divorced my mother and left us with nothing. We were homeless, living out of our car, while my dad was living a comfortable life. He had a new girlfriend, a younger woman, and continued to be respected in his job. Meanwhile, my mom, who was a victim of his abuse, was labeled a liar and lost everything. I was filled with rage, towards him, towards the world, towards the jury that declared him innocent. I wasn’t safe in this world especially being homeless, women and children are the most vulnerable to sexual and physical assault. I was scared, unsafe, and had nothing aside my mother and siblings.

I wanted to enter the void, not just for myself, but to give my family a better life and to bring justice to those who had wronged us. I was at a point where I was harming myself, but I couldn't give up because my family needed me. I remember messaging you, Maya, pouring out my story, begging you to help me enter the void. Despite your initial hesitation, you responded with kindness, sharing some personal experiences, and reassuring me that I wasn't alone.

Your words gave me hope. You made me realize that many people who find the law have gone through, or are still going through difficulties. If they could overcome their struggles, so could I.

So, I decided to let go of the void. Not because I didn't believe in it, but because I had elevated it to a status akin to a genie that would magically solve all my problems. When non-dualism and other loa concepts were introduced, everything finally clicked. I realized I didn't have to be angry, or try to be someone manifesting master, or do all these fake methods. I have always known that my family and I were meant to be happy.

For a month, I went through a process of shedding my ego. It was uncomfortable, and there were times I found myself fighting my own thoughts, telling them to shut up. I was separating my ego from myself. You, Maya, had once said that this process was similar to withdrawal symptoms of someone quitting drugs. This thought comforted me. I was becoming someone new, my old thoughts weren't there anymore.

Living in my car, I began to see it as my mansion. My mom's crying turned into laughter, my siblings' whine for food turned into jokes. We pretended that we were living our dream life, and after a while, my siblings joined me in this game. We would come "home" from school and yell at each other, pretending that the house was so big that we needed walkie-talkies to communicate.whenever I needed to steal food it was because we owned the place and can take whatever we want, not because I had to.

One day, we parked at a field, and I started imagining my life. I tried to become the clouds by thinking I am and accepting that my consciousness could be whatever it wanted. I got my siblings to do the same. We became the flowers, then the sun, then the stars at night. Even though physically I was still in the car, mentally and emotionally, I was living my dream life.

When I woke up, I was in a large room. It was decorated to perfection. I heard my siblings running around, throwing toys, and my mother laughing with a man, who's laugh alone sounded like gold. I explored the house, and it was beautiful. There was no yelling, no violence, only laughter and love. My mom introduced me to her boyfriend, and he was holding a newspaper that read that my father had been arrested for domestic crimes and fraud. He was losing everything.

At that moment, I realized that I had done it. My mom was happy, beautiful, and loved. My siblings had plenty of toys and clothes, and our house was filled with love. My family and I were finally living our dream life.

I have been living my life for about a month and now, and it has been blissful to say the least. I go to a well known private school and I am the top student. I am apart of many clubs, and also spend a lot of time volunteering at domestic shelters, and speaking to victims of intrapersonal abuse. I have made friends of people who volunteer with me, so it’s nice to have people who care about the same thing I do.

I am also apart of my writing club, and found comfort in reading and writing and have decided I want to be an author once I graduate. I have always wanted to be a writer but they don’t make enough money often. But now not only do I know I will be successful but my family has enough money to last us multiple generations plus some more. My Bio father had gotten much to what is coming to him and he will be going to jail. I hope he drops the soap but I have let go of my anger with that barbaric fool. So has my mother who has also recently gotten engaged and I get to be her maid of honor. She has a friend group of mothers from school and I have never seen her happier. My now father treats her like a goddess and treats everyone like that. He spoils my mom and us with gifts and luxurious trips. He also spoils the help such as the maids and cooks and never treats them below us. He does not expect anything from my mother except for her to be happy and spend time with us. He is kind selfless loving and respectful. the real definition of a man. I adore him so much and I’m so happy to call him my father.

I find great joy in the little stuff. I love cleaning my room. My bio dad was a hoarder and the house was always a mess because my mom was the sole provider though my “bio dad” made much more. He instead used it on hookers, alcohol, and drugs. Pathetic excuse for a man I know. I love going shopping, as I don’t have to look at the price tag. It feels normal, there was no shift. This is just life constantly changing. I have 5 pets and spend great time with all of them, and they are all so loving and adore me. I love school, and doing my homework, taking tests, assemblies etc. i love talking to my teacher about my ideas and how I can improve. They’re always so encouraging and kind, and I have never experienced that. I also loveeeee having crushes hehe. I never had time nor the “looks” for that prior to these past few months, but I receive a good amount of attention from a lot of sweet man and the “what if” aspect of having crushes is fun. I just love being a teenage girl, something I was not always able to say. I love the world and the people in it, the creations I bring and make, and all I did to make it what it is. I never worry what happened to my old self or life. It died, it doesn’t exist I am here right now with them and the old story is gone. Like an author erasing a part of a story she doesn’t like and never producing it, I did the same. My one true reality and I am so blessed.

Also big thanks to bloggers like @awarenessis @starbursts777 @consciousnessbaddie for introducing this concepts to Tumblr in a simple and kind way. Love to everyone in this devoted app.

Congratulations on your astounding success story 🥹 Your journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit, and it's an honor to hear about your transformation. This is beautiful wild tale, but it's your reality, and it's absolutely beautiful.

Your story is a powerful reminder that we have the power to shape our reality, no matter how dire our circumstances may be. It's a testament to the power of belief, determination, and the human spirit. I'm incredibly proud of you and wish you and your family all the happiness in the world.

[thomatri]

Haikyuu males as love languages

Synopsis- Haikyuu boys as love languages featuring aoba josai

Paring- Iwaizume Hajime, Hanamaki Takahiro, Oikawa Tōru, Matsukawa Issei, Kyōtani Kentarō

——————————————————————

Iwaizume Hajime as acts of service

———

Iwaizume just a helpful guy what can I say. He does just about every kind of act of service you can think of that’s pg. though he loves helping you with your physical and mental health the most. For physical he’ll help you work out. Whether it be helping you find the motivation to work out of helping you on a exercise that’s particularly hard for you. And for mental health honestly he’ll do just about anything. For you giving him acts of service you help him with mental more than physical since he seems to have that down pact. You do give him massages from time to time which he adores and always looks forward to

———————————————————————

Oikawa Tōru as physical touch

———

Of course he’s physical touch. Bro loves all types of physical touch his fav is probably hugs though. Iwaizume will yell at him for too much pda. When you guys go anywhere he’ll always keep your hand in his. Physical touch also calms him down. Mostly kisses on the cheek.

———————————————————————

Matsukawa Issei as words of affirmation

———

Lokey He grew up a lil insecure because of his eyebrows. So I’m general he loves compliments. He knew as soon as you genuinely laughed and complimented his joke he fell inlove with you. Maki made sure to tell y’all the joke was never that funny but he could had cared less. You make sure you sprinkle compliments here and there. You know how much it means to him and he appreciates it greatly. Surprisingly he’s not big on physical touch at all except kisses.

———————————————————————

Kyōtani Kentarō as quality time

———

Oikawa and Iwaizume are your childhood friends. They and by they I mean Oikawa asked if you could tutor Kyōtani so I guess you guys met through quality time. You were patient and tried your best to work with him which surprisingly worked. One study session he asked if you ever talk about anything other than school work, which your job is to tutor him not be his friend but you expressed your interest in music and you guys bonded over similar music taste. It brought out a side you both haven’t experience from each other drawing you both closer. He’s never really connected with someone like this before and soon platonic feelings became romantic. All Kyōtani wants to do is listen to music with you. Sadly stuff like studying exists but you guys make it work

—————————————————————-

Hanamaki Takahiro as gift giving/ gift receiving

———

Hanamaki gift to you is by far the most useful and amazing gift. And that’s memes. This guy seriously thinks memes are gifts and who are you to disagree. They make you happy and him happy so who’s to say otherwise. He’s not big on the other love languages though if it wasn’t gift giving I’d be physical touch he enjoys holding your hand. He’ll kiss you in public but god forbid you guys hold hands in public. He argues holding hands is way more romantic and personal and you just laugh and agree. Where he gets his logic who knows. He’ll also get you gifts in reference to memes as well. Like the minion plushie from the pupina meme. Needless to say your room looks a bit crazy with random meme references scattered around but you adore and love everyone single one. Actually you guys became friends because Matsukawa brought up getting a job at Burger King. And Maki started doing the Burger King fnaf dance and you bust out laughing. They both looked at you in shock but complimented your taste. Originally Matsukawa had a crush on you realized you and him were just friends but you and Maki on the other hand had another type of chemistry that was romantical.

—————————————————————-

Idk what to say

[miyamiwu]

On Kaiser’s Trauma

I’ve thought it over, and I think there’s really no way for Kaiser to awaken this match. Be it scoring a goal or getting one over Isagi, he is not winning. I don’t see it at all.

I’ve reviewed the previous character development arcs, and one thing Kaneshiro has been staunch about is that internal development comes first before external development:

Chigiri - Chigiri had to get over his fear of losing his old self by putting his leg at risk again before the narrative rewarded him with a goal.

Bachira - Bachira had to overcome his fear of being alone before being rewarded with, not a goal, but with a friend who met him where he was.

Barou - Barou had to experience his arrogance being crushed and overcome the subsequent resignation he felt before he could reclaim his role as “main character.”

Hiori - Hiori had to first come at peace with giving up soccer entirely—something he had been hesitant to do, even when it hurt him, because he didn’t know what else to do—before discovering what soccer really means to him.

Yukimiya - Yukimiya found salvation when Isagi saw him as he was desperately fighting for a chance while he could still see.

It’s a bit different for Isagi’s main rivals, though:

Nagi - Nagi got motivated to put in an effort because of Isagi -> Got stronger during Second Selection -> Went back to old habits just to beat Isagi once -> Regressing in the rest of the NEL arc

Rin - Rin had to stop seeking answers outside of himself -> Unleashed his true ego during the U20 match -> Subconsciously sought affirmation from Sae at the end of the match -> Felt rejected by Sae -> ??? (The current match against PxG is ongoing, so I don’t know how he is right now)

Nagi’s and Rin’s development arcs are not linear, and currently both are in the lower curves of their arcs. This is because they haven’t fully solved their internal problems. Until Nagi finds a reason to push himself outside of beating Isagi and until Rin gets over his brother issues, they can never fully grow.

Likewise, Kaiser, who is undoubtedly also a main rival, has to first fucking get therapy process his childhood trauma before he can truly awaken.

But trauma is not easy to overcome. In fact, you don’t even really “heal.” Kaiser “getting over it” in just one match is impossible. As such, I don’t see him winning. At least not now.

Isagi throwing Kaiser’s words back at him by calling him a “clown” has gotten some people to think that Kaiser’s awakening is imminent. After all, a similar thing had happened to Barou before when Isagi called him “donkey.”

But Kaiser is not Barou. Both may be arrogant, but one of them didn’t grow up under violence. And as I’ve said before, internal development comes first. Barou’s internal problems, compared to Kaiser’s, are much easier to resolve.

And unlike Barou’s, Kaiser’s problems are not confined within soccer. They seep into his every being and in all aspects of his life, as we can see in how he treats himself and others off the field.

To begin, let’s talk about what Kaiser thinks of himself:

Alternatively, Hoshi’s translation of Kaiser’s monologue goes like this:

These guys are “humans.” Different from me, they were born wanted “humans.”

Having been abandoned by his mother and growing up abused by his father, Kaiser’s sense of worth is so low that he thinks he was born without it—which is wrong. Everybody is born deserving to live.

But Kaiser thinks otherwise. He sees himself as not even human because nobody wanted him alive. Still, he has this strong desire to live—a desire that had first made itself known to him at this moment:

Right before this, he had looked so dead inside:

He didn’t flinch when the cops came to arrest him. He didn’t try to fight for the escape money he had stashed away. He was so passive and tired and helpless that he might as well be truly dead.

But at that moment his father was about to destroy his soccer ball? A fire lit up inside him. A fire so bright and strong that he got to beat seven cops while handcuffed.

That fire was the love he had for soccer. All his life he’d been in a passive position, but when he fought for what he love, the reins of his life got transferred into his hands.

And in that moment, Michael Kaiser, for once, was truly alive.

Now, he’s living his life in constant search of that fire—or “proof of his existence,” as he puts it.

However, Kaiser has misunderstood what that fire is. After all, how can he recognize love when he’s never been loved?

Only pain and violence are familiar. Thus, it is honestly no surprise when he misattributes “proof of existence” to “inflicting malice on others, living on inside them as a scar.”

For Kaiser to grow, he has to redefine “proof of existence.” How can his own existence depend on the number of people he defeats? That’s unhealthy. And as with Rin’s problem, it’s just seeking answers outside of himself.

But for Kaiser to even begin redefining it, he must first learn to recognize love for what it is.

Love was the fire that was lit inside him. He must go back to it. (Like how Bachira awakened by going back to how he used to play as a child.)

Love is also the main thing that sets Isagi apart from him—the former having been raised by loving parents and having companions sincere to him—so it’s crucial that he learns this if he wants to defeat Isagi.

How can he do this? With the way he was raised, I don’t think Kaiser can learn love on his own. He has to learn it from others. But before that, he must see himself as “human.” While he still views himself as “non-human,” Kaiser won’t be able to connect deeply with “humans” and welcome any love from them.

And this is the crux of his problem...

Kaiser has made attempts to be more “human,” but...

... he’s going about it so horribly wrong 😭😭😭

@galaxynajma also sent this question:

What do you think is the new reason for why kaiser does this every morning: His morning routine consists of: standing before the mirror naked, gazing at himself while having a conversation (to himself), getting into the mindset that nothing is impossible, and then smiling while thinking ‘this is me’. (Trivia from Blue Lock wiki)

“This is me” is Kaiser reaffirming to himself that he is becoming more “human” when he sets out to achieve the “impossible.”

How to be Human 101

Okay, fuck, to be completely honest, I have no idea! I didn’t expect to get this psychological while I was writing 🫠

I had… written myself into a corner. But anyways, I’m gonna try seeing this through...

So, I’m no psychologist, but… I relate on a deeply personal level with Kaiser’s “human vs non-human.” But in my case, I had used the words “normal vs not normal.”

(This is gonna get a little bit personal, but bear with me!)

This distinction was something I strongly felt during my peak depression years. I felt like nobody truly understood me because they hadn’t been through what I had been through. Whatever the doctors said just went from one ear to another because I couldn’t trust them. In my head, I had categorized them as one of the “normal” people—their lives were so put-together and they were so in control and on top of things! Not like me, who was drowning.

I also slowly distanced myself from friends because they, too, were the “normal” ones.

One friend, however, stuck around. She didn’t mind me going missing for months without a word. And whenever I showed up again from who knows where, she would always excitedly welcome me back as if I never even left. And this was the friend who I thought to be always better than me in every way because she was prettier, smarter, and had a better financial status. So I never really expected her to get me.

But oh, she did. I found out that she wasn’t “normal,” too. She too had her own problems, and we got to share our sorrow with each other...

So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that...

It’s not really a matter of erasing the distinction between “human” and “non-human.” It’s enough, for now, that Kaiser finds another “non-human” like him, and with whom he will slowly start to feel “human”—worthy of living and being loved.

I know Kaneshiro isn’t fond of therapy talk, but for Kaiser, I think it’s a must that he gets to open up to someone. He doesn’t have to share the full story. He just has to be sincere about it.

And who is the closest “non-human” that we have around Kaiser who’s also unwanted by his family?

Ness.

This doesn’t even have to be about shipping. And I know their relationship is looking pretty grim right now because of how Kaiser has been treating Ness since the beginning, but...

...I still believe that this, at least, was real.

Together, they can learn what it is to be “human.”

In summary, for Kaiser to awaken, he must first resolve his internal problems. To do this, he must...

Find a fellow “non-human.”

See himself as “human.”

Recognize love for what it is.

Redefine his “proof of existence”

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, *bows

---

Okay, so I don’t normally do this at the end of my posts, but I just recently launched my Alpha Reading Service. If you liked my analysis above and would like me to review your story the same way, do check it out!

Or, if you don’t need any alpha reading, consider tipping me on Ko-fi instead. Thank you!

[who-is-page]

Wag Those Tail Feathers: The Wonders of Alterhuman Courtship

Author: Page Type: Essay Words: 1,065 Summary: Page's perspective on alterhuman courtship, as an individual who has been both on the receiving and giving ends of it.

[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for 2024. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedclaws]

As a polyamorous alterhuman, I’ve had the wonderful experience of being in relationships with people who have a variety of different courtship instincts— sometimes even all at the same time! Including my own instincts, it’s led up to some interesting realizations about the variety and diversity of expressions of love, and how wonderful it can be to be loved by an alterhuman (and to be an alterhuman in love, too).

My personal experiences, notably, revolve specifically around being nonhuman and this applies to a majority of my partners as well, which influences the flavor of this discussion. It’s been a wonder to be the target of a feathery mating dance, to be wooed with draconic jewelry and treasures, or to have my partner jump out with a meal, as proud as could be at displaying their hunting skills for a mate. It’s not necessarily just a nonhuman thing, either, of course; my orthohuman partner exhibits some similar sort of feelings and actions, too! Something which comes across especially strong in his hunt-and-gather supply-hoarding behavior in video games. But there’s something so especially intimate about having your alterhuman partner court you in a way unique to their species identity. It’s a beyond flattering form of trust, love, and affection.

And as an alterhuman who has targeted my partners, alterhuman and orthohuman alike, with my own affections, it’s also uniquely affirming to have your partners engage with your varieties of courtship for your species. There’s something incredibly special to have them try to learn your rituals and woo you in turn, even if they don’t have the same instincts driving them. It’s love with intention, a conscious effort to learn a language that’s typically foreign to them or which they might otherwise never come across on such a personal level. It may not always be perfectly executed, but the intentions behind them make them perfect regardless.

I’m someone who’s fully public about my alterhumanity. I don’t hide that I’m a dog and (luckily) no one especially seems to care in the day-to-day when I’m meeting up with strangers and acquantinces. But it’s become an important part of my dating life that potential partners need to not only be aware of my alterhumanity and accept it, but they also need to interact with it. You could argue that my spouse set the bar high for any potential future partners with how he took to my canine-ness and plurality like a fish to water, but I’m of the opinion that it’s something that should be the norm, not something so utterly unexpected by many.

Being able to engage in alterhuman courtship with your partner, as serious or as silly as it may fundamentally end up being, shouldn’t be something that you feel is utterly unreachable, that you yearn for but never feel like you’ll be able to reach. Alterhuman courtship is a wonderous experience; something that I think it’s not only important for alterhuman folks to be able to freely do with those they love most, but also to be on the receiving end of, too. It can be easy to default to the status quo in relationships, because of the societal pressure around us. Normativity around romance, sex, and even platonic affections is something that is constantly at play in the backgrounds of our culture and which embeds itself into our conciousnesses in unexpected and often invisible ways; and it’s difficult to dissect these without exposing ourselves to what some might list as “weird” or “unusual” urges and behaviors. But we can’t unpack the shame or embarrassment that might be holding us back from engaging with these urges unless we actually let ourselves acknowledge the collective, confusing feelings abound within them. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to shrug our shoulders and simply say, “I suppose I’ll never find someone who can accept me as my [species] and all that entails,” or to just resign ourselves to having to hide a part of ourselves away forever to maintain relationships.

We should toss these types of negative feelings aside and embrace our alterhuman courtship urges in earnest: that sometimes we’re not fully human, or we’re human a little to the right, and that inevitably makes romance, sex, and platonic interactions a little different for us than it might look for standard folks as displayed on a big screen. It’s not a failure on our part, and it’s not something that needs to be squirreled away due to internalized respectability politics. We can love ourselves and find love in others, for and by being ourselves. We can experience unique forms of love and adore those factors in others. This is, to me, a part of the territory that comes with being alterhuman or knowing alterhumans. It’s a part of what makes life wonderous.

In my partnerships, I love getting to bring my partners gifts. I love to bring them tiny treasures, small things from my system’s hoard, to pebble at them almost like a penguin would (sometimes including a silly little dance, of love!) It goes beyond standard gift-giving in the way that most of the people I’ve met would think of it, where presents that large are often reserved for special occasions like holidays and birthday. But it’s something I do year-round, to show my partners that they’re always on my mind, and that what is mine is their’s, too. I do the same thing with food; while normally incredibly food protective, both due to species identity and past food insecurities, I make the effort to share my favorite foods with my partners for the same fundamental reasons. To share my food, my bed, my life— and to have my partners recognize that as not just general displays of love, but as specifically displays of love intertwined with what I am, is something which displays a deep level of understanding and acceptance for my species. It’s something I’m grateful for beyond words, but it’s also something that I don’t want us as a community to accept as unheard of, or as just a one-off, lucky occurrence. Love like this is achievable and rewarding, both as a recipient of such alterhuman affections and as the giver. And we all deserve to experience it, in whatever form of love that we feel most comfortable with. Don’t tell yourself otherwise; don’t settle for less just because you feel like you have no other choice.

[cosmicdream222]

The time I woke up in the void, before I even knew what the void was

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

As mentioned in this post, here is the story about how I woke up in the void before I knew what it was.

I came across @ellequarius success story on entering the void while falling asleep in class and I got major chills and a flashback to when something similar happened to me in HS. I didn’t even know about manifesting or the void at the time but now I realize I woke up in the void 🤯 It was such a strange and memorable experience, I still remember it vividly (I’m an adult, I graduated HS long ago lol).

It was my senior year, I was in science class and we had a substitute who gave us a free study period and dimmed the lights to put on a movie. I was exhausted so I just crossed my arms on my desk, put my head down and fell asleep.

Idk how long I was out, but before waking up I found myself in a weird kinda state. I thought I was dreaming, although nothing was happening. Everything was dark but it wasn’t like being in a dark room - it felt like looking at a TV or computer screen that was turned on but not showing a picture, there was some static and a sense of depth. A bit like outer space.

I had been thinking about my friend in Japan who I hadn’t talked to in a few weeks. I guess because she was on my mind, I imagined seeing a notification pop up on the “screen”, saying I had a new email from her. Then I woke up and went to my next class.

When I got to a computer, I found that I had indeed received an email from my friend, around the exact time I had “dreamed” it. I always thought it was a psychic dream, or just a freaky coincidence. But now I’m sure I manifested it in the void.

I was totally mindblown as since I found out about the void last year, I’ve been endlessly researching, wondering if it’s really real and trying different methods wanting to experience it for the first time - when I had already experienced it so long ago? 😭 It’s like I found an Easter egg in my brain!

I’m theorizing that sleeping position can have an effect on the ease in which you enter the void. Since it’s happened to several people while sleeping in class, taking naps, and there is also the popular recliner method, it seems that unusual sleeping positions put you in a lighter sleep, which can help access alternate states easier.

I’ve also realized since I figured this out a couple weeks ago, pretty much every time I have a natural awakening in the early morning, I do wake up in the void. It even happened this morning (2/27 as I type this) early in the morning after several hours of sleep, and I was lying on my back which is not my most comfortable sleeping position.

It’s the same kind of experience, and I don’t hear anything, but my first natural instinct when I wake up is to wonder where the sounds of my environment are. So I end up tuning in to my room to try to hear things, and snapping out of the void.

Only a matter of time before I figure out how to remain there aware long enough to affirm for my desires 😭

[gremlingottoosilly]

[If you need to be mean] chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Konig has a bit of personal time while thinking about you during a mission. TW: Konig being a huge pervert, Canon-Typical violence, Dub-Con, Innocence kink, Age difference(Konig in his yearly 40, Reader in young 20)

Pairing: Konig x fem!Reader Tags: Fluff, Power Imbalance, Hurt/Comfort, Size Kink, Possessive Konig, Yandere Konig, Creepy scary stalker Konig, written mostly from Konig's perspective

Fun fact – the sound of blood splattering on the ground is very similar to the sound of hand lotion being squeezed on his hand as he desperately palms his dick at the thought of your legs and the curve of your ass perking from that short skirt of yours. 

Even more fun fact – the way his hands are snapping the enemy's necks are very similar to how roughly he squeezes his cock every time the mere thought of your glossy lips wrapped around that damn pen or twisted in a shy smile appears in his mind. 

Not so fun fact – he is still in the middle of the battlefield, with a huge boner. 

— Sector 3 cleared, sir. 

— Affirm, taking the position on the balcony. Hutch, the breach. 

— On it, sir. Getting company out ‘ere. 

— Horangi, get on Hutch’s sector and help him. 

— Thought I had my break, sir. 

— Scheisse, get on with it!

— Affirm, sir. 

Hutch is in the service of breaking windows – König just hopes that no civilian living in that building would be even more mad at them for doing it than they were before. They aren’t doing much, of course, just saving their lives – but he knows better than anyone how harmful for the reputation it might be. Horangi would help with the extraction of enemy soldiers, and newer recruits would finally have a chance of proving themselves without being a total crapsacks of uselessness. 

They all have their duties and König feels weird for not doing anything particularly important. He kills enemies, of course, he already lost count at how many soldiers he killed once they entered the building with possible threats that are spreaded among the multiple rooms. He gives orders and it’s such a weird motion – he was in charge before, of course. He didn’t get the colonel rank right off the bat, but for the first time in at least 20 years of his service, he feels…bored. Dangerously bored, that kind of bored that makes people do crazy and dangerous stuff just to feel something. 

He might just clear a whole section by himself – he has done it before, he got his first few ranks for being able to kill dozens of enemies while not getting major injuries himself. He almost forgot the rush of bloodlust that a good fight brought him – and he is almost bored enough to not even care whether he would survive this fight or not. Adrenaline is pumping in his head, that urging desire to do something fun is breaking all the doctrines and rules that he obliged when climbing up the hierarchy. 

It’s not really fun, to make your soldiers kill people for you – he would love to do it himself, of course, feel their pulses slowly dying up under his grasp. It’s not really fun, being forced to do everything by the rules, checking if there really are no civilians in these locations, to ask anyone who is not shooting at him immediately, if they want to yield before killing them anyway because they decided to attack him with some secretly holstered weapon. 

He can break his own orders and just eliminate the whole cell by himself – he has done it before already, when he had nothing to lose but his 3 months of experience in the army and some cash that he got from parents when they were still talking to him. It would be fun, really, it might make life worth living again, even for just a second. He picks up his gun in a more productive, dangerous manner, almost falling to the desire to fight hand-to-hand, to see life slowly dying out in their eyes. He can…

There aren’t a lot of things that can really distract him from his bloodlust. The desire to kill, destroy, to do everything in his power to make someone else suffer, pay for the sins of his traumas without knowing shit about it. He never snapped out of it on someone else’s accord before, it was always because he got tired or adrenaline rush washed off from his system. Nothing is able to really calm him down, even the fancy toys his therapist is trying to provide to him as some dumb rituals – breathe, count to ten, please don’t kill everyone in this room because they looked at you funny, all of these useless things. 

There isn't a lot of stuff that comes to mind when he is in battle – except for the desire to kill. But then he thinks of you again, the way you are definitely going to be tight around his cock, probably bulging with outlines of his shaft ravaging your smaller body, how sweet your moans can be while you are screaming his name and making everyone on base know that no, their commander isn’t some sexless and faceless monstrous creature that can never experience human emotions. He thinks of how perfect you would look like under him, begging him to let you cum – and suddenly, even when another enemy is charging at him, feeble attempt to take him by surprise, he isn’t really thinking about how sweet the sound of bullets going through his flesh is. 

Jerking off in the middle of the battlefield isn’t the craziest thing he had done, but he would rather think about your ass in a more comfortable environment. 

— Pick your guts off the floor. 

It’s funny, how the enemy soldier is clenching on his wounds before inevitably falling down. He wants to take some trophy off his body, he seems like an officer of some sorts – and König would gladly bring you a gift. Maybe a finger or an ear – barbaric, of course, but he wants you to understand all parts of his life, not just some lush gifts he can and will also bring you. A perfect girl of his dreams – you and your adorable little smile every time he does something that he almost considered too creepy – would love him for coming home with blood of his enemies on his hands. 

Love of his life – you and that nice pair of legs you have, that would look just perfect on his shoulders as he bullies his whole length inside your body – would adore him for each kill he has, for each life of his enemies that he took. He wants to imagine your face if you knew how dangerous he is – would you be scared? He would calm you down immediately, he would try to be gentle, but you have to know how strong he is, this is the point! 

Love of his life – you and that pretty mouth of yours that he stares all of the time, wondering how cute you would be with lips wrapped around his cock, throat gagging at his shaft – would appreciate him for his job, no matter how many lives he took. You would understand that in order for you not to have to work, he needs to be as strong and capable as possible – he has enough savings and enough paychecks to keep you afloat, making you his adorable little housewife. With kids running around, possibly – he never thought about children before, never had the right time and a right person but with you and your caring nature, creating a little family would be just perfect. 

— Holy shit, sir. Permission to enter? 

Horangi looks at the room in front of him – bodies of enemies laying around, some with knife stabs, some with nothing more than one deliberate bullet. He knows his colonel’s work, he was working with König from his first deployment in KorTac, but this…he would never get used to the way his commander can just throw people around like sacks of apples without a care in the world. He smiles under his mask, appreciating how they won’t have to clean up after. Perks of being a merc, not a member of the actual army. 

— Granted. Don’t slip on blood, sergeant. 

König smiles under his mask and wipes some of the blood that splattered on his hood. Shit, he would have to wash it later – he has spare ones, of course, some of the old ratty shirts he has from that weird rock phase he has at the start of his deployment with mercenaries. His thoughts trails to your body and how adorable you would look in his clothes – you are so much smaller than him, and he is simply too damn big to anyone, so no matter your body type, you would look like an angel in his T-shirt. 

Fuck. 

The thought of simply jerking off in the middle of the battlefield to get off with some tension from thinking about you in his clothes trails on his mind. No one would notice, probably, they are already running faster than scheduled for this mission – and judging by the way he just murdered a whole rooms worth of terrorists while dreaming of your body stretched on his cock, he still has a bit of time for himself. What was this weird shit about taking care of yourself that his therapist suggested? Flower masks? Drinking blood of his enemies? Sipping cheap alcohol while calling it self-care because he can always find a really nice snack in between those perfect legs of yours? 

— Are you alright, sir? Can’t believe you did it by yourself. 

Horangi takes a note of the bulge growing in his commander’s pants and hell no, he isn't going to be a part of this. He appreciates everything that König is doing, he is a great soldier, a father to his men, even though he is barely older than some of them, he isn’t that type of monster that would lead troops to certain death – but Hong-jin won’t take a part of whatever deranged kink he has. He might appreciate it from afar, he might send his condolences to the poor girl that caught his attention – but he doesn’t want to be here when the deranged monster of his commander would want some warm body to bury his dick in. 

Maybe he should get that girl’s number and call her immediately. 

Maybe he should do what a good sergeant is supposed to, and call a graveyard service right away. And some plan B in case the girl would survive. 

— Not broken. What is the situation in other sectors? 

— All good. Hutch broke a computer, sending the data to base now. 

— Think we got the lead? 

— Who knows, sir. They are sneaky bastards. 

Honestly, König wouldn’t be so sad about having to stop in this country for a bit longer. He just needs some more time to court you, to find you a right ring – he knows that he can’t propose right away, mother raised a gentleman who doesn’t want to hurt his bride by forcing her too much. He would possibly need another month, with how rare your encounters are. Fuck, he wants to be with you, find time to at least visit your house at night when you are probably asleep, not even thinking about a silent force protecting you from not just terrorist scum, but anyone who can hurt you. 

You would love something shiny, he knows it – maybe a big diamond in the middle, probably platinum as a metal of choice. He hates how cheap gold looks sometimes, he hates how flashy that is – but he would buy you anything your heart could possibly want. Maybe a necklace, something to remember him buying – you would look adorable with bruises from his grip on your neck, and some delicate charm in the softness of your collarbones. 

Thinking about you on the battlefield only makes his life tighter and his dick harder – he doesn’t want to be indecent in front of his soldiers, so he dismisses Horangi and calls on the comms to finish the mission. 

*** He has enough self-control to not jerk off at the thought of your body in the middle of the mission. 

However, he doesn’t have enough self-control not to jerk off at the thought of your body, glossing in the water next to him as he fantasizes about you two sharing a shower. Not on the base, obviously, even without dozens of naked bodies of his men around him – he technically has a separate shower room, but something about people staring at each other’s naked butts makes their bond stronger, and he tries to be close with his men, so they would stop being so fucking scared of their commander. Even though some recruit already started to prepare funerals for whatever poor girl their colonel has an eye on – mostly because no woman should be subjected to the sheer torture of having sex with…that. 

He enters showers the last, hoping that no one would stare at him this time – having a boner after the mission is normal, adrenaline kicking in, the urge to reproduce making soldiers into a horny bastards, but he still doesn’t want anyone to stare too closely. 

He palms himself at the thought of you with him, helping each other shower – he will buy you some expensive body lotion, stuff that all the girls are obsessed with, as he thinks. He would never tell anyone how much he also likes bath products that smell sweet, like roses or candies – that he visited that extremely bright body shop too many times per months, buying all of this expensive bath bombs to just stare at them and remember that yeah, even the colonel’s apartment on base doesn’t have bathtub and he can’t really use it. 

He thinks about buying a house with a large bathroom – so you can take baths together and indulge in shower sex way more often than a man in his years should. He would love to take you to the mall or something like this, to hold the stuff you bought while you would later for it on your knees in front of him. He would…

König knows that he is big – that he would probably destroy your pussy the first time you two would have sex. You would squirm under him, begging him to take it out – he won’t, of course, you need to learn how to take his cock properly, how to please your future husband as a good girl you are. He will try to be gentle, but the self-control he has is slipping very thin lately – he can’t even sustain the modest thoughts about you in battle, when he is supposed to be worried about saving his life. 

He spread the lotion on his dick – nothing flowery, the fragrance isn’t even distantly sweet, he doesn’t want his soldiers to think of him weirdly for not having a typical manly shower product, of course, he has a bloodthirsty reputation to uphold. He palms his dick with zero gentleness, knowing already that softness isn’t going to cut it out for him right now. He wants to know how you will do it – will you be soft with him, scared of making him feel pain from your actions? Or will you try to be faster, make him beg for release only to tease him more and more, completely subverting the power dynamic you have? He would be alright with everything, as long as it's your hands on his body, as long as you are giving him your full attention. 

He tries to be quiet, not to moan your name – adorable fucking name, how could someone so goddamn perfect even exist on this earth, let alone actually be in his presence. He doesn’t just have a chance with you – he will take you no matter what, knowing exactly what your little smiles and silly giggles left. You might not be as obsessed with him as he is, but he will make you, eventually. He touches himself with roughness, not allowing even an inch of gentleness as he palms his dick, teasing his tip and imagining your hand instead of his. 

He is completely normal and totally not a creep while imagining a woman that is probably twice younger than him. He can be a little bit weird, of course, but you were giving him nothing but the right signals – he already got used to rejection in the past, but something in that adorable look in your eyes told him that you wouldn’t be like his past crushes. He would be embarrassed at liking you so badly, but what can he do if you are just so damn adorable? 

He cums in his hand and thanks god that water is quick enough to wash away the evidence of his shame – he doesn’t want to jerk off anymore, he wants to be with you, as close as possible. You were already seeing each other for more than a week, and if you count your meetings as dates, you would be at third already – and like a good girl you are, you now can have sex with him without looking like a slut. He would wait for you, of course, but every day spent without hearing your voice is making him go crazy. And, well, this isn’t very good for his job performance – as a good soldier and amazing leader, he is obliged to have an obedient little thing on his lap, as a way of making him relaxed. He wonders if there is some government program for that case. *** You think about this guy – König, colonel, fighter with terrorists and a supposed hero in rusty, camo armor. He is so much older than you – you saw the news about him, not really talking about the age, of course, but you did the math already. He can’t be any younger than late thirties, and the thought of having such an older man pinning over you is…scary. And a little bit delightful. Not like you need to have someone as dangerous as him with you right now, you have too much troubles already while living in a terrorist infested country and working at a shitty low wage job without any protection, dating a guy who probably has a girlfriend in each country he got deployed in isn’t something you need. 

You know how military men are like – a bunch of teenagers in adult suits, they are being spoon fed with propaganda about the glory of their arms and have absolutely zero respect for women and the general population. Guy probably already has a wife! She sits somewhere in secret, maybe raising some adorable Austrian kids, all while her husband is doing very unfaithful stuff with other ladies overseas. 

You don’t even like him – you never saw his face and while yes, he is kinda mysterious and it makes you want to do things with him, you are also value your safety and desire not to get used by some rich military asshole who is…actually very shy and can’t even look you in the eyes while giving you money and whispering a bit dirty things in your ears. 

However, you have a really important thing tonight – a really nice guy from the cafe you work at, the waiter from the second shift, asked you out! Not on a date, as he said, but you wouldn’t be against going out to drink with him and possibly taking your relationships a bit further. Dating your coworkers might be the only possibly fun thing you can do at such a devastatingly shitty job as yours, and you are going to turn that into the situationships of a lifetime. 

You are too excited to be out with someone your age to even look around you. 

König, just spending his free time after a successful infiltration op that lasted 3 days – without you, terrible, terrible situations – wasn’t as unaware of your presence. And he already crossed the reasons why he should even let you work at this cafe at this point. 

Maybe, the owner deserves a little visit. Right after the guy you went out with, of course. No one knows who can be a possible criminal, right?  (Comments & asks are appreciated!)

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[0vereasy]

Life’s Creations and Love’s Manifestations - Dr. Ratio x Female Reader- Chapter 3

Summary: Your promotion as one of the heads of the Security Department at Herta’s Station was full of many headaches, one of the biggest being a visiting scholar from the Intelligentsia Guild, and delegate of the IPC, Dr. Ratio.

When you were forced to team up with him to solve several crises emerging at the Station, how will your tense relationship change? And what exactly is the Doctor hiding?

Taglist: @96jnie @boomie-123 @a2tral @ukiyo-ikigai @poemzcheng @kpopmenace143

Send me an ask, DM or comment to be added to the taglist!

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Masterlist | Previous chapter

A/N: Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a fun New Year’s Eve - I spent mine in a way I think the reader would, drinking with friends. I’m officially back in Uni now, so updates will be slower (~1-3 updates a month) but my semester is lighter so I’m confident I’ll have the time to update. In other news, I officially finished pre-farming for Ratio! He’s gonna be the first character I max out traces for!

Chapter 3: Touch Deprival

“Question: Are you sure you are alright?” as usual, Screwllum’s voice was monotone and flat, sending no hints to reveal how he was feeling at the moment. Consequently, he had to express his feelings in other ways, rubbing your shoulders soothingly as you tinkered with the camera equipment in front of you, “Affirmation: it is your day off, you can easily save this task until tomorrow.”

You couldn’t have looked any more different from this morning, crop top and shorts now replaced with comfy sweatpants and a button-down white shirt which looked suspiciously similar to the one your robot companion wore under his suit jacket. Your back was pressed firmly against the front of his metallic body as you both sat on the floor in the Seclusion Zone in a room full of two things; plants and the little creatures that Ruan Mei abandoned after leaving the Space Station a few hours ago. A few of the little creatures hoped around freely, as if happy for the company, “Given all of this,” you gestured to the creatures around you, “we should’ve put cameras down here months ago,” you let yourself lean further back against your companion, savouring the feeling of his arms kneading your tense flesh, “might as well get it over with before someone else decides to run a fucked up experiment down here.”

He didn’t rebut the content of your statement itself, rather responding with a simple, “You did not answer my first question, dear,” his metallic hand trailed further down your back, massaging the space near your shoulder blade through the white shirt. You muffled a groan at the relief that shot through your body, a sign that had him continuing the motions with a firmer grip. You didn’t know how the robot managed to give the most amazing massages, but his hands were definitely missed whenever he was forced the leave the station. 

“I mean, as good as someone can be after almost dying a few hours ago, I guess,” your tone was neutral, your gaze and fingers focused on the security cameras in front of you, which you were attaching to camera mounds to place on the walls around the Seclusion Zone. You knew if you dared to look back at Screwllum, he would see through your words in an instant. His title as a genius wasn’t just for show after all, “I mean, it obviously was scary when it happened, but I can’t take up more of your time. Herta’s probably already out for my head after you left your meeting with her early.”

“Affirmation, I did not tell her the reason of my sudden departure,” he replied, one metallic hand drifting from your back to your face, tilting your head so that, even from in front of him, you two were forced to make eye contact, “It was hard not to abandon my work when you texted me to inform me you were using the bathtub in my room with no context,” he let his hand drift from your cheek to cup your chin, “I care about you, my dear. I don’t want you to push yourself.”

Ah, the bathtub. It was silly really, how someone like Screwllum, who couldn’t use a bathtub in the first place, had one in his quarters while you were stuck with a shitty shower with absolutely no water pressure. It just so happened that all the guest rooms in the Space Ship were equipt with bathtubs, and though Screwllum was a frequent visitor of the station, he had no official permanent quarters of his own, though, at this point, the Station staff just gave him the same room in the Space Station anyway, making that particular room his unofficial permanent quarters.

Of course, when you finished cleaning the incubator room in the Seclusion Zone, hands covered in smelly bug guts, you had abandoned your computer and water bottle in favour of taking the elevator to the floor housing the living quarters and used your FOB to unlock Screwllum’s room solely for the purpose of his bathtub. With your one-track mind on trying to get the smell of bug off of you, you had neglected to check your phone after sending Screwllum a text letting him know about your tub use, which ultimately led him to check on and fuss over you, a pattern of behaviour that was still ongoing now.

“And I appreciate your company, as always,” you flash him a smile, pushing the camera you were working on to the side so you could turn and face him, straddling your legs over his own. You pressed a brief kiss to his cheek before pushing your body against his own, sighing at the familiar feeling of his hands wrapping around you, “But you’ve been with me all afternoon; go take a few hours, finish your work,” you let your hands trail down his chest, shuddering at the cold feeling of his metallic frame below his suit, “I’ll be here when you’re done - remember, you still owe me dinner and drinks.”

“How could I forgot?” Screwllum chuckled as you pressed another kiss to his cheek, though he made no movement to leave. You both knew why; the answer hanging between the two of you, but remaining unspoken, as if you two were playing a game to see who could avoid bringing it up the longest. To avoid doing so, you snuggled yourself into his chest, inhaling the scent of his laundry detergent as he rubbed a cold hand up and down your back.

“Ahem,” Screwllum’s hand stopped moving at the sudden sound of another voice breaking the relative silence, albeit the irregular mewings of Ruan Mei’s cat-like creatures, in the room. You forced yourself to sit up, regretfully removing yourself from Screwllum’s arms to face the new presence in the room. “Sorry if I am… interrupting something,” as per usual, Dr. Ratio’s features were hidden by the alabaster head, leaving only his toned body on display to you and Screwllum, who exchanged looks as you moved to sit beside the robot.

“You are,” was your simple reply. You forced yourself to grab another security camera from the mess of items you had scatted on the floor around Screwllum and yourself, attaching it to the camera mound to control your anger at the Doctor’s presence, “You can go away now.”

“How rude, to think you would treat a delegate of the IPC like this,” he placed his hand to his chest in mock offence. You pictured his eyes rolling underneath the alabaster read to aid to the sarcasm radiating off of his body, “I expected more from you.”

Noticing your anger and lack of motivation to carry on the conversation, Screwllum allowed himself to speak, “I don’t believe we have been formally introduced,” he stood up, you frowning at him as he took a few steps forward, sticking a hand out to the Doctor, “I am Screwllum, number-”

“Number 76 of the Genius Society, ruler of Planet Screwllum, leader of the resistance against Rupert I,” Doctor Ratio rambled out the list of title, counting each on his fingers like a child may do when trying to solve a math problem, albeit the Doctor’s action was clearly mocking in nature, “Don’t patronize me, Mr. Screwllum. I work for the IPC, of course I am aware of your identity.” He huffed, removing the alabaster head to reveal his own features, hair slightly out of place due to the action. He looked unamused, crossing his arms with another dramatic huff.

“Affirmation; your tongue is as sharp as your looks, as I have heard, Doctor,” Screwllum’s tone was even, though he retracted his outreached hand, which had gone unanswered, plainly and obviously, making the tension in the air obvious.

You resisted the urge to groan in frustration, instead stating, “Why are you here, Mr. Ratio? I’m sure you have better things to do than lounge around in the Seclusion Zone all day,” you resisted the urge to smirk at him, “keep this up and I may just report you to your employer for time fraud - its not like you’re doing any work around here anyway.”

“You’re the one who told me to come here, remember?” he questioned, leaving your quip unanswered and raising an eyebrow. He sighed at the blank look at your face at his words, as if disappointed, “Pity, it was quite a dramatic comment, I would have suspected you to remember it. What was it again?” he put a hand to his chin as if in thought, though the mocking smile told you the words were already committed to his memory, “Ah, yes, ‘We are definitely having a chat about this later’ that it.”

“Yeah, later, as in not now,” you said drily, pointing to the army of cameras surrounding you, “I’m clearly busy.”

“I seem to recall that you entertained a conversation with me just fine earlier today when you were also busy,” he sighed dramatically, leaning against one of the tubes full of plants cultivated by Ruan Mei, “I suppose idiots truly can only multitask for so long during the day; pity, I truly enjoyed our conversations.”

You opened your mouth, a retort on the tip of your tongue, but were silenced when Screwllum spoke first, “I do not mean to interrupt,” he spoke, glancing between you and the Doctor curiously, “However, I do need to depart to a meeting,” he turned from the Doctor, walking to where you sat and placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “My dear, don’t you think allowing Mr. Ratio to accompany you may allow you to finish this task quicker? I’d hate for you to waste more time on this venture.”

Screwllum’s shining green eyes bore into yours, almost as if he was daring you to rebut him. You knew what he was playing at as he rubbed familiar, soothing circles into your flesh. It was another silent dare, for you to bring up what you knew was on both of your minds. Of course, you didn’t, an action you knew that your companion expected. Your eyes drifted briefly to the Doctor, who was watching you two curiously as if you were a math problem that he couldn’t quite solve. 

“Fine, fine,” you relented, putting your hands in the air in mock defeat, meeting the Doctor’s eye, “I’ll let you stay, only if you help me put up these cameras once they’re ready.” You hated the smug look on the Doctor’s face at your words as if he had emerged victorious from the exchange somehow, his hands moving from being crossed at his chest to instead resting on his hips like some sort of superhero. 

“Quite bold of you to ask a mere visitor to help you with such a menial task,” he started, though he walked towards you and Screwllum nonetheless, “However, if you insist, I suppose I can help. The Station will benefit from my adept hand, after all.”

“Ah, yes, I can already hear Lady Asta gasping in pleasure when she see’s your expert camera placement,” you rolled your eyes as you shoved another camera into its mound, earning a glare from the Doctor. Once again, Screwllum saved the day, breaking the silence before he could retort.

“With that settled, I will take my leave now,” he gave your shoulder a small squeeze, your eyes transfixed on the Doctor, whose eyes were equally as focused on the small act of intimacy, “Conclusion, I will see you later tonight, my dear.” He let his metallic hand remove itself from your shoulder after being sure to give it one last squeeze.

“Can’t wait!” you smiled at him, dragging your eyes away from the Doctor to watch your companion retreat, keeping your focus on his form until he was completely out of your sight, before you reluctantly dragged your eyes back to the Doctor. He stood a few feet away from you, as if unsure exactly where to go or what to do. You huffed at his reactions, “What, does a genius like yourself not know how to socially interact with people? Sit down already!”

“You must forgive me, the IPC doesn’t provide lessons on social etiquette regarding sitting on the floor,” he replied drily, awkwardly taking a seat next to you on the cold metal floor of the Space Station, his eyes looking over you as you continued your work with the cameras, “We sit in chairs, like civilized people. I do not understand your logic of working here.”

“Come on, Doc, live a little, sitting on the floor never killed anyone,” you shrugged, your voice light, but lacking the usual passion you preferred to give to your retorts. Too tired to really care, you ignored his gaze to continue your work, “Plus, it’s easier to work here anyway, saves me lugging cameras around later.”

“I must say, you lack your usual passion that you provide to our oh-so-delightful conversations” he scanned the immediate surroundings as if searching for something, “Is this what you’re like sober? I dare say you make a much more entertaining conversationalist when you are slightly tipsy.” It’s only then that you realized he held a bottle of wine in his hand, a brand you didn’t recognize, “Drink then, so we can speak like intellectuals.”

“Wow, aiding my alcoholism? You must be in a good mood,” you raised an eyebrow in suspicion, though you were quick the grab the opened bottle anyway, taking a few large gulps of the wine. It was a dry wine, definitely not your favourite, but it was strong, the red liquid burning your throat as you swallowed. 

“You could at least pour yourself a glass first,” the Doctor shot you a glare, grabbing the bottle to wipe away the stain of your lipgloss at the opening, “I’m beginning to suspect you have no concept of manners.”

“Do you see any glasses around here?” you retorted, both you and the Doctor looking around the room, the only signs of objects other than cameras or plants being Ruan Mei’s little cat-like creatures. That seemed to be enough to shut up the doctor, at least briefly, as he spent the next few minutes watching you construct cameras and drink wine in silence. Of course, though, the Doctor could only stand to exist without hearing his voice for so long, leading him to break the silence.

“You did not answer my earlier question,” he replied, voice even, though containing less of an annoying edge than usual. Aeons, what was it with these men and their persistence to get an answer out of you today, “Why are you colder than usual?”

You shot him a glare, standing up from the floor in anger, as if you wanted to punch him right then and there. Of course you didn’t, instead allowing yourself to pace the room, a few of the cat-like creatures hopping alongside you as you did, “You really have to ask me that? And you call yourself a member of the Intelligensia Guild?” you scoffed, pausing your pacing to stare him down directly, thriving in the way he squirmed slightly in his uncomfortable seat on the floor, “Not only did you use your stupid looks to sneak into the Seclusion Zone, but you witnessed Ruan Mei’s psychotic experiment, knew what was going to happen, but didn’t tell anyone about it, instead basically sending myself and the Trailblazer to our impending doom!” Your words were cold, harsh, streaming out like a river, as if you couldn’t hold them back any longer, “I know were not exactly friendly, but holy fuck, draw the line somewhere, right?”

He held his hands out in front of him, arm muscles flexing as he did so, “I understand you are upset, however-”

“Upset?” you scoffed, a sarcastic laugh leaving your lips, “Wrong, I’m pissed off! Is my life a joke to you? A few more seconds of fighting that stupid thing and I wouldn’t be here right now!” you pointed an accusatory finger at him, “Imagine if we did die, huh? Were you just goint to lounge around the Space Station as if you didn’t send us to death without the tinest warning? Or were you going to celebrate since I was finally out of your hair?”

“I wouldn’t have let you die,” he replied, tone cold, disappointed even, as if you were in the wrong for claiming he would do such a thing, “I’m sure you noticed that I returned to the Seclusion Zone before you left.” You had noticed. Of course, you did. You had been forced to halt your cleaning job temporarily to get the Trailblazer back to the Storage Zone. Mysteriously, despite the Trailblazer never having pressed the button for the elevator, the elevator was awaiting your arrival, as if the previous user had taken it downwards to the Seclusion Zone, despite you having seen the Doctor taking it upwards before you headed off to your impending doom. The Doctor took your silence as acknowledgement, “I was prepared to aid the two of you in defeating the creature if required.”

You didn’t speak for a moment, processing the new information to add on to what you already knew. You weren’t sure of what to make of the elevator incident til now, not knowing if the Doctor came to help you or mock you. Somehow, you found the later to be more preferable than the reality. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” you rebutted, sitting down on the floor again, keeping a few feet distance between you and the Doctor, “Knowing that you could help me defeat a monster that you failed to tell me about in the first place?”

The Doctor sighed dramatically as if he was a child caught stealing from a cookie jar, before beginning to speak, “I… apologize for my actions,” despite his extravagant sentiments before speaking, his words were surprisingly genuine, his usually snobby voice reduced to a volume barely above a whisper, “I was confident in your ability to hold off the creature, however I should have told you about the threat it posed… I am sorry.”

You blinked dumbly a few times before bursting out into laughter, scootching closer towards the Doctor to grab the wine bottle, taking a swig between your giggles, “Wow, it’s that easy to elicit an apology out of you, Doc?” you smirked, “I should’ve recorded that shit, ahhh it was so satisfying!” 

“You-” he glared at you, yanking the bottle out of your hands in anger, “Were you faking that temper tantrum the whole time? Are you capable of holding any conversation without emotional manipulation?” You continued to giggle, laughs only edged on by the warmth rising to the Doctor’s cheeks, which he tried to hide with his hands.

“I mean, I was, and am still upset,” you shrugged, snatching the bottle again from where he placed it on the floor to take another swig, sighing at the taste as you pulled the bottle away from your lips “But, why would I let that get in the way of me teasing you?” she mused, “Maybe I should’ve took it further, hmm? Waited until you got down on your knees and begged for my forgiveness before-”

“Enough of this insolence!” he exclaimed, an angry blush on his clear skin, “I have never met someone with so much gull; someone so infuriating!” he again snatched the wine away from you, though he failed to take a sip from the bottle.

“Hey, hey, you deserved all that after what you put me through today!” you pointed an accusatory finger at him before standing up from the floor, “Now come on, Doc, these cameras aren’t gonna put themselves up, huh?” you grabbed two of the cameras from their resting place on the floor, gesturing for the Doctor to do the same.

“And why would I help you exactly?” he questioned, crossing his arms across his chest, “may I remind you that I am your guest? If anything, you should be grovelling to me to fulfil my every wish.”

“You would like me on my knee for you, huh?” you teased, raising your eyebrows suggestively, causing the Doctor to open his mouth in rebut, though you were quick to cut him off before he could speak, “But you told Screwllum you would help, so too bad.” He sighed incredulously at your words.

“That was before you tricked me into apologizing and embarrassed me!’ he retorted, breathing heavily, as if relieved to finally let a retort escape his lips.

“Embarressed you in front of who exactly?” you cocked an eyebrow, looking between the Doctor and Ruan Mei’s creatures, “I don’t exactly think they’re the type to spread gossip ya know?” The Doctor and you watched as the creatures continued to jump around aimlessly, “So come on already, the sooner we do this the sooner we can leave each other alone.” The Doctor sighed, though he picked up two cameras nonetheless, trailing after you as you made your way through the Seclusion Zone. Your first step was the area overlooking the primary home of Ruan Mei’s creations, who seemed to longue by a toilet-like device nearby to where you were sitting. You easily began positioning a camera at the corner of the wall a few feet away from the toilet, allowing the device to display a view of the whole area.

“May I remind you that I have no loyalty to the Genius Society; I do not owe Screwllum my word, nor do I owe you anything,” the Doctor rebutted after a few moments of silence, as if he had been thinking of the retort, “However, I will help you this time out of the kindness of my heart.”

“Wow, isn’t this amiracle,” you ensured the camera was at least partly secure before turning to face him, placing a mocking hand to your chest, “The asshole Doctor caring for others? I’ll make sure to remember this moment; make sure to have your ghost writer reach out to me for your next autobiography so that I can tell them all the wonderful times we had together!”

“You read my autobiography?” he raised an eyebrow at you, though you didn’t notice due to your back once again being turned to him. You sensed the change in his tone though; less snarky and self-centered and more teasing, “I never knew how much of a fan you were; you should have told me Ms. Y/N, I would have gladly signed something for you.” You finished positioning the camera, turning to glare at the mocking smile on the Doctor’s face, “Is your propensity to teast me related to your infatuation with my work? It would explain why you make it you life’s mission to cause me strife; its akin to a child pulling their crushes hair on the playground!”

You scoffed, the Doctor trailing after you as you walked to the other side of the room near some plants that had been cultivated in the Seclusion Zone, and near a place where a few other of Ruan Mei’s creations had been lounging. The creatures were quick to give you some space to position the camera, “You wish, Doctor, I just find your reactions amusing,” you mused as you fiddled with the camera, “Screwllum lent me the book; I’ve got to say, eight doctorial degrees? Like holy shiy, at what could you’ve possibly learned in the eighth that you didn’t already learn in the seventh?”

A moment of silence passed again, you figured because the Doctor was looking to retort again. You weren't complaining though, the silence allowed you time to realize how fuzzy your head was becoming from the wine, and allowed you to find a suitable spot on the opposite side of the room near a staircase to plant another camera. You briefly glanced at the Doctor as you grabbed one of the cameras from his hand, earning no notable reaction. With a shrug, you tuned and began to position the device before the Doctor spoke again, “If I may be so bold… what exactly is your relationship with… Mr. Screwllum?”

“Huh?” you weren’t expecting that question, nearly dropping the unsecured camera, which you barely managed to pick up before it hit the ground. You turned to face him, as if searching his face for the intention behind his words, “What, you’re worried I’m taken? I’m flattered, Doctor, this is the second time today you’ve implied you wanted me to worship you on my knees. You sure don’t hold back on your kinks, huh?”

“Are you capable of responding to anything seriously” he exclaimed awkwardly, brushing off your attempt to deflect the situation. His eyes scanned your figure, taking in Screwllum’s button-down shirt that trailed down to the top of your upper thigh, “You clearly have… some romantic relationship with each other. I am merely curious how a man of his standing has the ability to put up with someone like you.”

“Believe it or not, I’m quite a pleasurable person to be around, you just bring out the worst in me, Doc,” you joked, pondering if you should place the camera or focus on the Doctor, but opted for the latter after you determined your next words, “The relationship Screwllum and I have is pretty simple - were just fuck buddies.”

You weren’t exactly sure how the Doctor would react to that information, though you would have never expected the mere word ‘fuck’ would cause him to open his mouth like a fish, sputtering as if he was speechless, his face red with embarrassment, “W-What?”

“What, eight doctorial degrees and you don’t know what the term fuck buddies is?” you cocked an eyebrow, a smirk growing it’s way on your features, “Ya know, friends with benefits, a situationship, meaningless sex, booty call-”

“I understand the concept!” the Doctor practically shouted, as if begging you to shut up, his face growing redder, “I just cannot comprehend how someone like him would be in a… sexual relationship with someone like you.”

“What, like you can’t picture how we do it?” you questioned teasingly, curving your middle and pointed finger in a ‘come here’ motion, “Come on, use your imagination, Doc! I’ll let you know that Screwllum is great with his fingers!”

Your actions only seemed to spiral the Doctor further into an embarrassed mess, one of his hands moving to attempt to hide the heat on his cheeks, “That is not what I meant,” he sighed, frustrated, “I merely wish to understand how one of the most notable men in the universe ended up being close to a mere security guard.”

“Oh,” you shrugged, turning away now to refocus on the camera, “I mean, that’s nothing special really if I had to be honest. Screwllum visits pretty often, so naturally we ended up talking at some point,” you looked over your shoulder at the Doctor, “Plus, haven’t you seen him? Dude’s smoking hot, of course I’d flirt with him after we got to know each other. It’s as simple as that.” By the strange look the Doctor was giving you, you were pretty sure he didn’t share your enthusiasm regarding the attractiveness of robots, not that it really mattered - more for you to have after all. 

“And yet you’re not dating,” the Doctor commented, trailing after you again as you once again wandered around the room to the wall opposite the stars to put up another camera. You barely glanced at him this time as you grabbed the last camera from him, quickly turning away. 

“We're not dating,” you kept your tone as casual as you could, focusing your attention on positioning the camera on the wall. You doubted the Doctor was the best at picking up on emotional cues, but you wanted to be safe nonetheless by avoiding his questioning gaze.

“I see,” he spoke simply before continuing, “I suppose that’s self-explanatory,” he commented offhandedly as you continued to avoid his gaze while focusing ion your work, “You don’t seem like the type to commit to a long term relationship; both you and Screwllum must have greater satisfaction with this… arrangement.”

God, if he was going to make you talk more about your sex life, you definitely would need more wine in your system, “Ah, Doctor, falling into assumptions of character?” you murmured as you secured the camera, “I expected more from your eight doctorate degrees.” Not seeing a way out of the inevitable, you half-hazardously finished placing the camera before wandering back towards the wine to take a swig, the Doctor once again on your heels.

“I do not understand your assertion,” he watched you impatiently as you took some swigs, the bottle nearly drained before you forced yourself to stop, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You were quick to grab two more cameras, motioning the Doctor to follow you once he grabbed two more of his own.

“... I was not the one who suggested our relationship be casual. It was Screwllum,” you once again kept your tone even as the Doctor followed you up the first flight of stairs, where you decided to place a camera beside the door to an experimental room. You looked at the Doctor over your shoulder after a moment of silence, “What, no witty remark for that one, Doctor?”

“I am merely confused,” he confessed, his tone curious. You preferred him more when he was mocking you, “I must admit, I am not familiar with your relationship with Screwllum, but he clearly showed care for you earlier.” Your mind wandered back to the robot, his touch on your skin, his reluctance to leave, the way his fingers expertly massaged your flesh, the way you were straddlingly him when the Doctor had found you. You shoke your head, as if to brush the memories away.

“That’s the thing,” you commented with a shrug, turning to face the Doctor now that the camera was secure to the wall, “At the end of the day, Screwllum will never seriously date someone because of who he is,” you shrugged, as if speaking those words didn’t pain you, “I obviously see him as someone extraordinary who is honestly a lot kinder than a lot of humans I know,” your eyes trailed down to the ground floor, eyeing Ruan Mei’s creations, “But at the end of the day, he’ll always be scared that he can never truly love me because he’s a machine,” you admitted, “Screwllum doesn’t think he’s capable of genuine love, so he won’t get himself in a situation where someone feels that way about him on a deeper level.”

“And yet you have feelings for him,” the Doctor commented as you walked into the experimental room after the first flight of stairs, placing another camera on the other side of the door. Your mind was foggy now with the wine, as if you knew you should stop talking but couldn’t. Maybe one of the Doctor’s degrees was in psychology, considering he seemed to know exactly how to make you spill your inner demons. 

“I think I did at one time,” you said honestly, “But I accepted that whatever I wanted with him won’t ever occur, and I moved on.” With the camera secure, you turned to face the Doctor, “You’re awfully curious about my failed love life, huh? What ‘bout you? Some cute chick waiting back at the University of Veritas Prime?”

“I have no time for romance,” he spoke plainly, crossing his arms over his chest disinterestedly, “There are much more pressing matters for someone of my standing to deal with than something a fickle as a relationship.”

“Spoken like a true virgin,” you clasped your hands together with a mocking smile, “How sweet, Doctor,” you turned away from him, the Doctor again trailing after you as you left the room and walked up the second flight of stairs, “Though, honestly, if I had to deal with your attitude everyday, I wouldn’t fuck you either. I’m sure hearing your voice day after day everyday while getting a degree would be enough to drive me to drop out. I pity all the women who had to deal with you year after year.”

“Very funny,” he spoke, sarcasm dripping from his tone, “Unfortunately for you and myself, many women have the propensity to throw themselves at me,” he sighed, as if recalling the incidents, “They are dull minded and not worthy my time, attention, or energy.”

“Hmm, curious,” you commented, unceremoniously climbing on top of a few metal boxes at the top of the stair case to reach an adequate area on the wall for your camera, “And yet you seem to always find me for some obnoxious conversation? Does that make me special?” you turned, smirking over your shoulder.

“We simply keep running into each other, you are not special,” the Doctor brushed off your comment, shooting you a judgemental stare as you descended from one pile of boxes to make your way to another file on the opposite side of the landing, grabbing the last camera from his hands before climbing up the boxes again.

“Awww, don’t be shy, Doc,” you teased, eyes focused on the camera instead of him, “You know there’s more to it - you’re the one who sought me out this time, after all,” you looked over your shoulder once the camera was secure, “If you’re falling for me, might as well tell me now so I can reject you before it’s too late.”

You turned back to the camera, one foot taking a step back so you could better check the accuracy of the angle. You gasped when your foot felt nothing to rest on, flailing your arms as your body began to fall backwards, cursing the stupid wine as you did so. Through your drunken haze, your mind attempted to think of any solution to get yourself out of this situation, though any logic snapped away when you felt him.

Doctor Ratio was quick to react, arms wrapping around your waist as your body fell, pulling you away from the boxes and closer to him. He made a small grunting noise as your body collided with his chest, his warmth surrounding you as he pulled you close to him. In his arms, you truly realized the extent of his physique, feeling the muscles in his chest against your back, and truly acknowledging the size of his arms as he held you against him. His body was hot, almost unbearably so, your body used to the cold metallic arms of your usual partner. It was comforting though; as if you were wrapped in a blanket. What overwhelmed you most, though, was his scent. His clothes smelt clean, as if they were fresh from the laundry, giving him a soft smell, a harsh contrast to his more harsh figure. However, as if to cover the softness up, there was a hint of cologne, nothing too strong but definitely something there that tickled your nose as you inhaled the musky scent. His breath tickled your exposed neck as he breathed, giving you goosebumps despite the overwhelming scent surrounding you.

“If anything, it seems as if you are the one falling for me,” he whispered into your ear, voice lacking its usual arrogance, replaced by something you wanted to label as flirtatious, but were afraid to do so. He chuckled at your lack of response, “It does feel nice to finally have you at a loss of words - as if I’ve finally reached a checkmate against one of my opponents. 

“No wonder women don’t like you,” you forced yourself to speak, voice lacking the confidence you wanted it to possess, “you just see them like chess pieces - a game to you.”

“I can reassure you, you’re the only one entertaining enough to resemble a challenge,” he laughed, making sure your feet were on the ground before he moved to release you. Your head was practically spinning then, a mix of the alcohol, closeness to the Doctor and some resemblance of dignity that was now absence after your tumble. You immediately felt cold at the absence of your skin, a feeling you usually were okay with. But now… now all you were craving seemed to be heat. 

He let out a yelp when you pulled his body back to yours, your back against his chest again, “Aeons, this is embarrassing,” you muttered, before turning your head to look at him, “...but can you hold me a little longer?” He hesitated slightly, looking you in the eye as if to see if you were testing him somehow. When you merely stared back at him, no hint of a smirk on your features, he sighed, moving his arms to adjust to your body again. You sighed in relief at the feeling of his arms wrap around your waist again, resisting the urge to nuzzle back against him.

“How drunk are you exactly?” he groaned in annoyance against you, though he didn’t make a move to leave your side, “This type of behaviour is ridiculous, even for someone as idiotic as yourself.”

“It’s not my fault that I want some comfort!” you defended, words slightly slurred now from the alcohol “You try fighting some stupid mutant bug and washing bug guts off yourself for two hours, and get back to me about how you feel!” you huffed, forcing yourself to move away from him, “Just forget it, let’s go grab more cameras and-” You gasped when he pulled you back towards him again, this time picking you up bridal style. The feeling of his strong arms against your legs made your shudder, the less PG part of your mind wondering how they would feel in more skin tight pants compared to the sweats you wore now,  “What the hell are you doing, put me down!”

“As if I’d let you walk after you almost cracked your skull open,” he scoffed, descending the stairs with you in his arms, his demeanour completely normal despite your weight in his arms, “Though I must say, your comments do make your behaviour this evening much more understandable.”

“I’m not some stupid puzzle for you to try to solve, bastard,” you resisted the urge to flail your way out of his arms, not wanting to fall on your ass again today.

He ignored your protests, continuing to speak, “I have to say, my intentions of asking about Screwllum were to try and dissect the curious behaviour you too displayed,” he began, descending the second flight of stairs, “If there truly is no romantic feelings between you two, why did he hesitate to leave? Why did he continue to touch you for as long as possible.” The Doctor carefully placed you down on the floor near the cameras before placing his hands on his hips, not batting an eye as you reached towards the wine, “It makes sense now; the anger, the reluctance to be alone, the mentions of fighting to the death.” He paused for a moment as if adding dramatic effect.

“You were scared. You don’t want to be alone. You want someone to comfort you - it is the only thing I can hypothesize behind Screwllum’s motives to suggest I remain here with you after he depart - he was worried about you.”

You downed the rest of the wine, bottle now empty as you placed it down, “Why do you have to be so smart? It’s annoying,” you murmured, the bottle falling to the ground as you failed to place it down properly, “So what if I wanna little comfort after almost dying, isn’t that normal?”

“And why, exactly, do you want this comfort from me?” he asked, cocking a curious eyebrow at you. 

It was a question you asked yourself too - why him? In all honesty, your two, now three, interactions with the Doctor had all been a pain in your ass, keeping you from doing something else that you wanted to do to deal with tiring conversation with some pompous asshole who had no desire to do anything but insult you… Yet you had to admit, the conversations were fun after all. Compared to the other people you surrounded yourself with at the Space Station, Doctor Ratio was new; exciting. He wasn’t afraid to poke your buttons to see what response he would get, something that you couldn’t really say about any of the other researchers. You supposed to closest thing was Herta, but even she couldn’t be bothered to talk to people most days, too focused on the damned Simulated Universe to give a shit about you. That was it - it had to be. You were craving something, or rather someone, who could challenge you, and it just so happened that this Doctor could.

…Not that you were going to tell him that, though. 

“I don’t exactly got a lot’a options here,” you gestured at the room, the only surroundings being Ruan Mei’s creations, “What, am I gonna rant to a stupid cat thingy about my fear of death?”

“You could have saved the rant for Screwllum,” the Doctor commented, eyes flickering from you to the empty wine bottle, “But you instead agreed to rant to me - you are smarter than to make excuses for your actions.”

You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest, “Aeons, and you say I’m the emotionally manipulative one - how did your stupid fancy University teach you to get information out of people so easily,” she sighed in defeat, “I’m not the type of person who wants to reflect on my emotions, and you’re the type of person to give me a distraction, that’s all there is to it.”

“I see,” the Doctor smirked, confidently sitting down beside you on the floor cross-legged, his knee briefly touching yours as he readjusted, “I’ve got to say, this sudden confession of your feelings towards me has me flustered. Perhaps it is you who wants to grovel at my feet, despite you suggesting the reverse.”

“Oh shut up, asshole,” you groaned, wishing you had more wine to drown your sorrows in. You attempted to stand up, extremely wobbly on your feet, “Lets put the rest of these stupid cameras up so I can get the hell out of this place.”

The Doctor grabbed your wrist as if to steady you, though the action didn’t seem to cure the wobble of your figure, “You’re clearly not in the condition to continue working. Why don’t you rest here and continue work later…” he trailed off, as if thinking how to finish his sentence, “...when you’re not stumbling around like a light weight.”

“Lightweight!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “You try drinking a bottle of wine and see how you act!” The Doctor ignored your words, gently pulling you to the ground, placing one of his muscular arms around your waist, as if to prevent your escape.

“Just go to bed, the Station will be better off for a while without you stumbling around down here,” he stated bluntly, repositioning you so that you could rest your head on his chest, the rest of your body curled up beside him.

“At least let me sleep in my room,” you groaned, wiggling against his grip, “No offence, but my bed is a lot comfier than you’re stupidly buff chest.” He snorted slightly at the comment, arm still firmly holding you in place.

“You can barely walk,” he reminded you, “And I do not think either of us would benefit from the rumours that would result from me carrying you towards your room,” you could practically hear the gossip now - its not like researchers had much better to do than start baseless rumours anyway. 

“Ugh, you’re so stupid, Doctor,” you mumbled, accepting your fate and shifting your body slightly to get more comfortable, “You and you’re stupid eight Doctorate degrees, why are you so fucking frustrating?”

“Veritas,” he said softly, making you open your tired eyes to look at him. He gazed down at your figure from where you on his lap, “My name is Veritas. If we are going to be familiar enough to do… whatever this is, you may as well call me by my first name.”

“Veritas,” you tested the name on your lips, “First telling me to sleep on you, and then telling me your first name? What’s next, a marriage proposal?”

“Just shut up and sleep,” he huffed, holding you against his chest, letting you rest your body weight on him completely. You could hear his heartbeat as you rested there, a sound so unfamiliar to you considering your usual cuddling partners. However, somehow the rhythmic thumping was relaxing - a sign of life that showed you that there was someone by your side. It scared away any thoughts of that Aeon-forsaken bug that threatened to invade your mind.

“Dr- Veritas,” you corrected yourself sleepily, “You’ll stay with me, right?” your words were muffled as you spoke into his chest, eyes fluttering with the sleep that already wanted to flow over you.

“It is not like I have much of a choice given our current predicament,” he sighed, though his grip did not loosen on you. You smiled at his words, though your mind briefly wandered away for a second.

“I wanted to ask you,” you said softly, “Early today, you told the Trailblazer that you stumbled upon Ruan Mei’s research after coming down here for your own purposes…” you mumbled, forcing yourself to finish the question despite the desire to sleep, “...Why exactly were you down here in the first place?”

He was silent for a moment, though it was so brief that you wondered if you had made it up, “I will tell you when you awake, I promise.” You nodded, tired mind finding some sort of solace in his words, allowing you to finally let sleep overtake you.

It's only when you wake up the next day, Screwllum shaking your arm urgently, that you realize the Doctor went back on his word.

[listleven]

Simple guide on manifesting ✨

Choosing what you want to manifest. This is genuinely the hardest part. Especially if you are a beginner and you think you choose something a bit out of reach for you.... no. Anything is possible. This is classic but even the word impossible has Im possible in it. The thing with this is if you are trying for the first time and have had bad experiences or are expecting bad you are going to try and go for something more attainable or completely over consume. AND THATS OK. Practice is great. Go for what you think is smaller if it helps you ease. But you can manifest even with doubts bc despite the misinformation you don't need to "feel" like you have it. What happens a lot is people give up and stop persisting when they don't see it in the 3d. So they have "backup options". And then they create this cycle of fear that if they didn't manifest this, will this work?? RELAX!! It will.

Persisting. Of course you've heard a dozen times before but why do you think its so popular. Now here you're going to persist until your desires materialize in the 3d. AKA when your subconscious mind has been impressed. Even in doubt you will persist bc it does not make a difference. You will THINK like the person who has it not feel if you can't. Thats literally it.

TIPS:

In order to think like the person living in the end you can write a story from that POV, affirm, meditate, guided meditations to help you relax, I use subs that use present tense, affirmation tapes, SATs, and sm more.

A little tidbit of my own is affirming that the 3d is no more real than a dream. Im going to make a separate posts in all the ways dreaming and the 3d are so similar. That way you can say stuff like "ah this doesn't matter its just a dream in the true reality I have everything I want." This can also induce lucid dreams because I do reality checks and confirm to myself that im dreaming and immediately start meditating to "ground myself" for 5 seconds by doing this Ive done it in my dreams.

Refocus to the 4d if you're ever in doubt. Everything right now, isn't real not time, or physical objects. Go back to the imagination. Its kind of funny right how everyone gaslighted us into believing imagination is not the reality and we had to "come back to the real world" LMOA its literally vice versa.

If you are persisting and don't see it in the 3d, don't you dare give up to manifest something more "attainable" this creates a loop where you go back to number 1 over and over. Remember you already have it. How do you know? Because this is no more real than a dream and you are the validation.

Accept the 4d as the only real reality

If you have had "failed attempts" Revise. Bc in the 4d no you didn't??? Ex. all those failed pure conscious attempts are not real , you actually have induced them in the 4d. If you keep persisting and accept that all those "attempts" worked, the 3d will conform.

Reminding yourself you have something and reality checks are the same thing. Going back to my prevoius point about my own tidbit. The most biggest similarity in the 3d and dreaming is you can control both using the 4d. We all know how reality checks work right. Persisting works the same way. I mentioned this in a previous tip above. I’ll do many reality checks confirming the 3d is a dream (bc it’s not real and stuff) and I’ll “ground myself” this allows me to trigger lucid dreams when I sleep AND I’ll add in something like “ofc I’m dreaming in the true reality I have —-“. That’s literally how manifestation works. If something “ fails” NO IT DIDNT. If you got a bad grade after manifesting in a good one, what? But you did get a good grade. In your 4d the real reality. Remember. Remind yourself that none of this is real. You did get that A. You are dreaming. None of this is real.

There are no such things as failed attempts. AGAIN going back to the prevoius tip with revision. That did happen. You did shift. Let’s do a “which reality am I in” check right now. Oh and would u look at that you are in your dr.

I’m definitely going to post more about the last two bullet points to give more clarification.

UPDATE: posted a link explaining the second last point, it's right on it. I put one on accepting the 4d as well one mentioning time. Also I will make one on the last point later. I think most of this is clear but if u want me to post on any other point lmk.

~ with love, Jyspire

[acourtofshadowandbloom]

Elain returning the necklace to Azriel does not mean that their ship is done, (especially when you take in the fact that the Azriel BC had a limited amount of copies even sold at all), but that’s a different conversation.

Nesta rejected the gift Cassian gave her in ACOFAS. However that didn’t mean that they were over. The obstacle between them was Nesta’s trauma, anger, isolation and low self worth. This resulted in them being mostly distant for many months up until ACOSF. Clearly this set up for the journey and story they would have ahead of them, because in order for them to have an arc their needs to be personal conflict outside of the overarching plot. Otherwise the story wouldn’t be compelling because what would stop them from being together?

Elain and Azriel experience something similar, but it’s unique to them as characters and their own circumstances. Elain and Azriel exchange gifts, they nearly kiss, and Rhys stops him, warning that their might be consequences. Elain than gives back the necklace assuming he rejected her. Now the easy thing is to think that this ends Elriel as we know it (it doesn’t) but it establishes and affirms obstacles, namely Lucien being her mate and the effect this might have on other courts should this get out of hand. It sets up the obstacle they would need to overcome if they want to be together. That Az was forbidden by Rhys to pursue Elain, and Elain thinks she was rejected (a misunderstanding). Their personal conflict in navigating their feelings/ relationship with each other despite these obstacles preventing them from being together is hinted in this bonus.

It doesn’t make sense for Sarah to write them making eyes at each other and for Azriel to be actively avoiding her in ACOSF due to his feelings, to the point even Nesta knows, all for it to end in a bonus chapter the average reader doesn’t even know about. It doesn’t make sense for Sarah to have Nesta put the figurine of the Mother next to a wooden rose carving covered in shadows for some reason she doesn’t know why all for it to not be explored. It doesn’t make sense to bother writing any of this stuff just so Sarah can write a bonus chapter that invalidates the entirety of the buildup between two characters before they even had a chance to atleast explore their relationship.

If she knew she wanted Az to end up with someone else she could’ve replaced all of these hints in ACOSF for another character, but she didn’t.

I wonder why

[rosemaeridream]

a bout of amnesia and a personality change || aespa - yjm

yu jimin x reader

warnings: high school AU, reader sorta became an OC - deal with it, reader thinks jimin is conceited - idk why she's been nothing but a sweetie, jimin likes jazz, reader is also so awkward i apologise but jimin doesnt mind, this is just fluff and gay panic, angst if u take off your glasses and read upside down

Synopsis: "The only way I’d ever see her praise Jimin was if she hit her head and woke up with a bout of amnesia and a personality change."

word count: ~6k

You don’t consider yourself popular. Everyone in your grade knew you, and you’ve spoken to almost everyone, but you weren’t part of the popular clique nor did you want to be. You preferred your mismatched gang of six. Yes, they were loud and (really) stupid most of the time, but it was out of the limelight and they felt safe; you liked it that way. 

However, you were sometimes jealous of the popular group, specifically one Yu Jimin, who whispers shadowed wherever she stepped. You often watched large crowds split in the school grounds when she walked through or admirers gift large bouquets of flowers whenever she was found on campus. 

Jimin wasn’t only popular with the student body though, due to her straight A grades, her pristine attendance record, and her charming fake (?) smile, she was also known as the model student with her teachers. 

However when it came to first hand experience with the girl, you had none. Call yourself superficial but you didn’t think you needed to know the girl to have her whole personality written out on a blank sticky note. 

Jimin was a teacher’s pet; the pretty girl who lived next door. Someone who thought of themselves so highly, they didn’t need to interact with or let anyone below their league get to know them. 

At least that was the impression most people had.

To further affirm your thoughts, most of your friends had similar opinions. Chaeyoung thought she was much too withdrawn for the whole school to fawn over her. Both Yena and Yunjin were indifferent, agreeing that she was too much of a people pleaser to be interesting. And Chaewon’s small interactions had left her a little scared of the girl, saying she was cold and intimidating.

The only person who had come to her defence was Minjeong. They shared a few classes together and she often cleared the air in situations where Jimin was bad-mouthed by your friends. 

Once you had asked why she defended Jimin, and the other girl just shrugged, told you that appearances aren’t everything, and that you should try talking to her for once, unlike the rest of your grade, then went back to eating the food in front of her. 

But you didn’t want to get to know Jimin. Not when your eyes met across the courtyard and sickly sweet smiles were sent your way (they were fake, right?). Not when you heard her melodic voice floating around the hallways. And definitely not when you attended Yunjin’s field hockey games and spent the entire time watching the wrong person.

The only way I’d ever see her praise Jimin was if she hit her head and woke up with a bout of amnesia and a personality change. - Lee Chaeyoung.

ABOUT HOW YOU ‘HIT’ YOUR HEAD:–

You just really needed to go to the bathroom. Knocking on the door again, you yelled out. “Can you please hurry up? There’s no other bathroom free.”  Your brother was inside, no doubt dying his hair another colour.  “Just wait a moment, I’ve got gloves on and can’t open the door.” You waited 10 more seconds then decided to take matters into your own hands. Patiency was never your finest trait, and definitely not when your bladder was about to burst.  “I’m opening the door so if you’re making out with someone in there you better stop.” You half joked. The door opened revealing your brother looking mildly embarrassed. You didn’t care what he was doing as long as you could relieve yourself.  Entering the small room you started to manoeuvre over to the toilet in the corner of the room. “What colour are you dying it this time?” You peaked over your brother’s shoulder to see bleach and a bottle of toner on the sink.  But before you got an answer your foot caught on the corner of the shower mat. To stop yourself from slam dunking your head into the toilet bowl, and a possible concussion, you reached out and grabbed the closest thing you could reach. Unfortunately that was your brother who had just picked up the bowl of bleach on the sink.  Curse that stupid shower mat.  You hadn’t hit your head on the toilet, thank god, but something, perhaps worse in your opinion, had happened. The bowl of bleach that was in your brother’s hands was emptier than it had been a moment ago.  Neither you nor your brother were known for thinking long term. Usually that resulted in stupid decisions that seemed like good ones in the moment. Like unleashing your dog to let it play with a small puppy, then watching as it bolted off to chase a pigeon into the distance.  Or something like bleaching the rest of your hair could definitely be one of those moments.

You were late again. You hated Tuesday mornings anyway, there was no reason to have assemblies when they had one on Friday morning too. At least you could sneak into the school without having to get a late slip. Quietly weaving through the mass of students you quickly found your friends where they usually sat.

“Have I missed anything important?” You whispered to Minjeong who was definitely not paying attention to the current staff member with the microphone droning about what you assumed to be a writing competition. Minjeong jerked out of her trance and turned to you.

It looked like she was about to say something but instead of words coming out of her mouth, a small yelp was in their place. Instantly a teacher shushed her. Minjeong covered her mouth with her hand and nodded her apologies to the teacher.

By now everyone was looking at the both of you. Knowing they would look away in a moment, you tried asking Minjeong again. “Jeongie? Did I miss anything?” You nudged her with your elbow.

Instead of Minjeong, Yunjin, who was sitting two people down the row, replied. “Clearly it’s not what you missed.”

“What do you me-” You were cut off by the teacher shushing you all again. Everyone was still watching you, the staff member still droning on about the competition.

Minjeong reached up to wrap a finger around a strand of your hair.

“It’s so...” she mumbled. “Blonde.”

“What the hell, Y/N?” Yena’s head poked out from even further down the line.

“Choi Yena.” A stern voice sounded from behind them. “Would you please be quiet!”

Yena looked like she wanted to say more, but she held back, only to not get herself into trouble.

Everyone was still staring at your head. You could feel it; beady eyes burning through the now blonde hair.

Somehow, you blame it on a stroke of luck, and maybe your (newfound) ability to escape from awkward social situations, you slipped away from the crowds after you were dismissed from assembly. Avoiding all the people looking at you (and your hair), you quickly made your way to class.

Instead of heading towards the steps that your gang usually congregated by when the lunch bell rang, you turned and made your way towards the building off to the side of the campus. 

The school library was bigger than it looked. It was split into three parts; an open plan common room directly in front of the door; to the right, a maze of clustered shelves extended to the back of the room, where a door led to the study alcoves seniors had authority over.

Entering the library you immediately turned right, wanting to be hidden by the hundreds of tall shelves gathered in the room. Book spines blurred together as you quickly weaved through the room. Soon you’d be lost in the maze. Sighing in relief once you were far enough in, you slowed your pace down, occasionally taking note of the names of books surrounding you.

The further into the shelves you got the more disorientated you became. You would have scolded yourself for not paying attention to where you came from if you weren't suddenly standing in front of Yu Jimin, her nose in a book, sitting on the floor below you.

To be frank, you probably wouldn't have said anything to her, like the rest of your grade, if Jimin hadn't looked up at that very moment.

“Uh- h- uhm hi?” You uncharacteristically stuttered. “I’m sorry. I uh- just wanted to get away from the uh- outside- I mean, people watching... me…? No, you see, I ah- dyed my- Well I didn’t dye it, I actually slipped, but you don’t need to know that- but… well ah-” Pretty brown eyes watched you curiously as you stumbled through your greeting. You shut your mouth when you realised that nothing you had just said made any sense. 

Mirth filled the pretty brown eyes, as her lips pulled at the corners of her mouth. “You’re Kang Y/N, right? I think we share P.E. class.” You didn’t say a word, worried that you would embarrass yourself again, though it didn’t matter, as the girl sitting in front of you kept talking.

“You know, I almost didn’t recognise you at all.” Her eyes flickering across blonde hair. “It suits you.”

“A- ah, thank you.”

Jimin gave you a warm smile and went back to her book. It was fake, you could have made a mad dash for the Bible in the library just to swear on it. However, you felt like you were missing something. 

“Uhm…”

Jimin looked back up from her book. “Do you need anything?” Her smile was warm, as if she were a close friend. That made no sense, you didn’t like her and she didn’t know you.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Asking anyway, you pointed to a spot near where the other girl was sitting. “The hair dye thing is kinda giving me a lot of unwanted attention.”

Jimin’s smile turned knowing. “Sit for as long as you like.”

You arrived in the library earlier than you had the day before. Honestly, you didn’t know why you were here. 

Your friends had all texted you the day before, asking you where you had been at lunch. You had been oddly defensive; instead of telling them that you were in the library sitting next to someone you had previously said you wanted nothing to do with, you told them that you were practising guitar in the music rooms. 

Maybe you’re a little bit stubborn… or maybe you just didn’t like proving Minjeong right. 

Making your way back through the maze you navigated yesterday, you found the spot that Jimin was sitting in empty. You frowned. Maybe I took the wrong turn? The books that lined the shelves around you were definitely the same as before. Perhaps she’s just late? 

Lost, you sat down in the same spot. You couldn’t just sit here looking like you were waiting right? That would be weird. You turned to look at the wall of books behind you. Just grab one, it doesn’t matter as long as it looks like you’re doing something. You slid out a book from directly behind you. The cover was red and had a book shaped like a matchbox in the upper centre. 

“Fahrenheit 451, huh?” You snapped your head to the direction of the voice. Jimin was standing there, pretty brown eyes studying you. “Good book.”

You didn’t know what to say so you just nodded your head. In that moment you cursed the universe for not letting you take a book that you had already read. Jimin walked past you to move towards her spot. The book she held in her hands was different from the one she was reading yesterday. 

“What are you reading?” Jimin looked down at the book in her hands, then turned it around so you could read the title.

The book was well read. The edges of the cover were slightly peeling back to show the cream of the paper below and one of the corners had been bent back as if it had been shoved in a bag that was already too full. When you read the title you almost laughed.

“Harry Potter?”

Jimin hummed in affirmation. Pretty eyes turned into pretty crescents. She sat down in her spot, and made herself comfortable.

“What happened to the book you were reading yesterday?” You were too curious not to ask.

“I finished it.” The girl cracked open the worn book midway. The conversation felt like it had ended. 

You didn’t like that.

You froze. Why didn’t you like that? Why were you here instead of with your friends outside? What did Jimin have that your friends didn't? She has those pretty brown eyes… your mind supplied. Slapping yourself mentally, you refused to let yourself think about it. If anything at all, you can unpack the thought later.

You ended up getting more comfortable where you sat, stretched out your legs and opened up the book you had picked earlier to the first page.

“What house are you in?” A voice interrupted you from reading the first sentence. You turned to see Jimin looking right at you. Her eyes are wide, like she’s genuinely curious.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your Hogwarts’ house?” Jimin slightly motioned the book in her hands towards you. “You have read Harry Potter, right?” You thought you heard the other girl mumble something like ‘or seen the movies’ but you weren't sure.

“Oh, I’m a Slytherin.” You grimaced. “What about you?”

“What do you think I am?” Jimin smiled and you weren’t sure if it was fake anymore. If you didn’t know better you thought it was said rather flirtatiously.

“Uhm, don’t take this the wrong way, but I would’ve placed you in Slytherin.”

“Would’ve?” Jimin raised one of her eyebrows.

“Well,” You avoided all eye contact. “Seeing you sit here right now, makes me think you’re more of a Gryffindor. But-that-might-be-stereotyping-Gryffindors-to-be-confident-around-people-they-don’t-know-very-well-and-I-know-it’s-more-nuanced-than-that-but-it’s-just-the-vibe-that-comes-off-you-with-the-way-you-speak-and-smile-at-me-when-I-don’t-know-you-and-you-don’t-know-me-and-you-keep-talking-to-me-like-we-do-know-each-other-and-it’s-slightly-offputting-but-not-in-a-completely-bad-way-it’s-just-strange-that-you’d-do-that-because-like-I-said-you-don’t-know-me-and-I’m-gonna-shut-up-now.”

A light giggle punctured the silence around you. Oh great, she’s laughing at me. However, when you finally gained the defiant courage to look Jimin right in the eyes, you found no malice there. Only mirth had spread through those pretty brown eyes again. 

You found that - although you didn’t like embarrassing yourself in front of anyone - seeing Jimin find some enjoyment out of your socially awkward behaviour was rewarding enough for you to want to humiliate yourself over, and over again. 

You mentally scoffed at the thought of it. You don’t want to be Jimin’s royal jester. Not when she smiles at you like you’re a puppy chasing its tail, and if she ever looked at you with that expression again, you would happily don a fool’s cap and prance around like an idiot, just to make it last a few moments longer. 

“You’re right…. And you’re much better at reading me than other people. I’d place myself in Gryffindor.” Jimin mused. “You shouldn’t doubt your gut, Y/N. Most people guess Slytherin and leave it at that.” The way your name was formed by Jimin’s mouth was maddening. You almost sqeaked out of nervousness. Why on earth were you behaving this way? You were acting like you had a school girl crush on Jimin or something.

Instead of replying you just gave Jimin a smile that looked more like a grimace, and looked down at the open book in your lap. The words swam on the page; you wouldn’t be reading anything while the other girl was nearby. You snapped the book shut, and stood up too fast for someone trying so hard to seem casual. Jimin watched as you stuffed your book into the closest free spot you could find.

“I, uh- just realised I have to give… uhm, give… give Chaeyoung the money I owe her! You know how people get when you… ah, yeah, borrow money from them? So I’m just going to do that... Yeah.” You blurted out. Using your ability to escape from awkward social situations, which has come in rather handy lately, you gave Jimin a dorky thumbs up, a short farewell, and then practically power walked out of the library.

You didn’t visit Jimin for the rest of the week. In all honesty, you were sure that Jimin didn’t want you awkwardly rambling your way through her breaks. But you didn’t spend much time with your group either. Half embarrassed that you willingly spent one (and a half!) lunches with someone you had bad-mouthed, half stressed about an upcoming guitar solo, you ended up spending your time in the music rooms hunched over your guitar. 

So when you navigate your way back through the shelves the following Monday, you refuse to ask yourself why you’re back here again. Maybe it was because people were still staring at your blonde hair, making you feel uncomfortable through all the unwanted attention. Or maybe it was because you had seen Jimin being handed a letter of confession by a tall, broad-shouldered boy who had a sharp smile earlier that morning. 

The shelves themselves were comforting, looming high over you so the only thing in sight were books, the only thing you could smell was slightly musty paper, and if you put your hand out the only thing you’d touch would be- 

Jimin.

She’s looking up at you with a quizzical wonky smile, eyebrows furrowed, as if to ask why you were almost stepping on her. 

Eyes widening, you step back, fumbling for words. “Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there.” You sound like an idiot. Resisting the urge to hide your face in your hands, you drop down to sit next to her. 

She doesn’t have a book with her today. Instead she’s got her knees to her chest, with her phone resting on top, opened to what looks like a wall of text. You point at her phone with a finger, then try to crack a joke. “Can’t get your head out of a book, huh?”

Jimin turns her head, eyebrows still furrowed. There’s something about her expression that makes your stomach do a tiny little backflip. You still yourself, forcing the sensation away. Then she takes something out of her ear. “Sorry, I was listening to music. What did you say?”

She didn't hear you.

Well, there goes trying to be confident. Staring at her, you open and close your mouth, trying to come up with something to say. You can’t even remember what you had said to her before, all your thoughts had stopped.

Forcing yourself onwards, you do the first thing that comes to mind and grab the earphone in her hand. She cocks her head, confused, and opens her mouth to say something, but you get there first. “What are you listening to?”

Her eyes flick over you, then to the shelves of the library, and that’s when you know you’ve just made things awkward. You’re about to apologise, palm flat with the earphone resting in the centre of it when she speaks up. 

“Almost Blue by Chet Baker.”

Absolutely no bells were ringing in your head. You were sure you were looking at her like an idiot, so you focused on her phone screen instead. Clearing your throat, you tried to make your voice come out confident. “Oh, right. That’s a good one.”

There must have been something about the way you said it, or the position in which you’re sitting, hand stretched out with the earphone resting on it, or maybe even a combination of both, because she lets out a small laugh. It tickles your ears. You move your gaze back to find her already looking at you, smile lines perfectly wrinkled. 

“It’s jazz.” She says after she gets past her laughter. Her hand moves up to yours and plucks the earphone from where it sits, then moves it to your ear. Putting an earphone in for someone has always been an awkward experience for you, but you’ve never been on the flip side of the move, and it’s different. Really different. Her fingers brush your ear, and you stop yourself from moving, whether that be from trying to help her ease the bud into your ear, or because you can feel your heart pumping erratically in your chest. 

Once the earphone is in, she retracts her hand and turns up the music a couple notches. You process the soft piano complimenting the solo trumpet, creating a sound you’d expect in a noir film where the main character is sitting in a dark bar, mulling over a drink. It’s jazz. She said it was jazz, but like it’s jazz.

After a couple moments of silence she pulls you from your music induced haze. “I like this one a lot, it lets me unwind.” You watch as she twiddles with her fingers, the image of her being handed the letter this morning no longer there. Only a timid Jimin, lips twisted in a nervous smile, is left behind. The Jimin who sits in the library during lunch, reading Harry Potter. The Jimin who listens to jazz.

“It’s good. Very… detective in a slump.” You force yourself to speak, realising that she wants your opinion on the music. The way her smile brightens tells you that you said the right thing.

You spend the rest of your lunch break with Jimin rambling on about the various jazz standards that were playing, and the ways in which they affected the industry. And, honestly, you could have stayed there longer.

You decided to sit with your friends today. Yena had rung you up yesterday afternoon to pester you into having lunch, asking every question under the sun, and making sure you knew that she was being neglected. Instead of getting on your knees and apologising profusely for your misconduct, like Yena would love, you just brush her off and promise to buy her boba the next time you hang out. 

It was slightly odd being around loud people again. Between spending time in the quiet library with Jimin or alone with your guitar, the sheer hecticness of your friends was overwhelming. Yena and Chaewon were loudly bickering over food like usual, resulting in Chaewon whining for Yunjin to back her up, while Chaeyoung kept prolonging the argument by adding in extra points for both of the girls. Yunjin starts to argue with Chaeyoung, telling her that she’s fueling the fire, and steals the food, holding it in the air which makes both Yena and Chaewon screech.

You sigh and block them out, suddenly wanting nothing more than the peace of the library. And maybe pretty brown ey-

“You okay?” Minjeong pokes at your arm. She has a sandwich half stuffed in her mouth which would be adorable if you didn’t know how much of a little shit she could be when she wanted.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I just forgot how annoying you guys are.” You send her a stiff smile. 

Minjeong just stares you down. It’s concerning how soulless she can be sometimes. Straightening your back, you force a slightly less stiff smile, hoping to placate her. Somehow, it works, (She took pity on you.) and her expression morphs into one more resembling concern. “Wanna go to a practice room? I can play guitar with you.” She offers. The both of you had spent countless breaks alone with your instruments, picking out a vast array of rock and metal songs to learn together. You had even joked with her about starting a band together once.

However, today you weren’t feeling rock or metal or even pop.

“Nah,” You show her your hands, palms up, fingers wiggling. They were calloused and the skin at the tips of your fingers was peeling. It didn’t hurt much anymore, just small pinpricks of pain when you touched something the wrong way. “I should rest my fingers.”

She nods and draws her attention back to Yunjin being chased around the courtyard by Yena who’s screaming expletives. You silently thank the universe that she doesn’t prod any further, especially since on every occasion previously you had accepted the offer, even if your fingers were covered in bandaids.

Drifting off in your thoughts, you wondered what Jimin was doing. Did she have her head in a book today or was she listening to music? If she was, what was she listening to? Was she happy spending time alone in the library without you? At that final thought, you pulled yourself from your daze. Why would Jimin care about you enough to not be happy when you weren’t there?

There’s a shriek and you look up to see Yena on top of Yunjin, Chaewon trying to pull her off. Minjeong chuckles beside you, taking her phone out of her pocket to record. When you sigh again, she turns to look at you.

“You know you can go to the library, right? Yena might miss you for a moment, then she’d remember that Chaeyoung called her a shrimp that one time and spend the rest of the break badgering her.” There’s a slightly more worrying yelp from Yunjin and Minjeong stands up to take care of it. She takes a couple steps forwards, then spins to face you, while pacing backwards. “You don’t have to listen to rock all the time. Jazz can be good too!”

You’re left stunned as Minjeong turns back around and helps pull Yena off Yunjin. How did she know? Minjeong isn’t stupid, but no one knew you were with Jimin in the library. And how did she know that Jimin even liked jazz? There were so many questions and too little answers, so instead of sitting there dumbly till the bell rang, you shoved your things into your bag and headed towards the library. 

The library was a sanctum; quiet, safe and had attendants who were as close to heaven as possible. Or at least, Jimin was as pretty as an angel. But you never interacted outside of the library. She was different when the walls of books weren’t the only other thing you could see. You felt too intimidated to talk to her when she was trailed around by admirers, or when people whispered in her wake. On too many occasions you found yourself zoned out of your friends' antics, your eyes travelling to find Jimin walking around campus, an bored smile plastered on her lips.

Sometimes you got close, brushing past her as she stood outside her classroom while waiting for her teacher. Opening your mouth to say something, anything, then meeting her eyes and seeing uninterested blackness instead of the pretty warm brown that reflected in the overhead lights of the library. Deciding to shut up and move on. 

Or that one time Jimin had walked up to your group to talk to Minjeong about a class project. You stood behind Chaeyoung, using her tall figure to keep you hidden. Chaewon and Yunjin blabbering away, too focused on each other to see how intensely you were staring at her. Jimin wrapped up the conversation pretty quickly, then her eyes flicked to you poking your head around Chaeyoung. She kept her eyes on you, looking like she wanted to speak to you too. Then Yena burst your bubble, slapping your butt playfully as she joined the circle, making you break eye contact. When you looked back Jimin was long gone. 

You were in the library first today, it was cold out and the heater had just been put on. So you sat with your knees to your chest trying to preserve your body heat. Jimin wandered in a couple minutes later, carrying a bouquet of flowers. She carelessly dropped them to the floor, before plopping down next to you. The way her shoulders slumped and her head drooped made it obvious that she wasn’t exactly happy.

“Did something happen?” You ask cautiously. She doesn’t meet your eyes, and reaches to grab your hand instead. Her eyes flicker to the bouquet, then she speaks up, her voice tired, mopey. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Mmkay.”

After a couple seconds, she moves her head to rest on your shoulder, not saying a word. You sit there just as quietly, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or bring up something she doesn’t want to talk about. The soft scent of the flowers lingered in the air. You couldn’t help but feel resentment towards them. One day she’d eventually accept a bouquet and your time with her in the library would be cut short. 

The heater hummed in the background, generating heat that enveloped the both of you. Apart from the hum, you could only process Jimin’s slow breaths, the rise and fall of her chest relaxing you, even if you were still deeply concerned for her. You hated admitting that you were wrong, normally being one to succumb to pride and stubbornly refuse to budge. But maybe you were wrong, just this once, about her. Maybe she wasn’t the stuck up ice-princess that you had thought.

Without a word, Jimin moves again, this time pulling on your waist so that you’re in between her legs. You feel like a teddy bear, her head over your shoulder and nose tucked into your chin, while her arms encircled your torso. The position made your heart flutter, but you pushed it down. Jimin’s clearly not good right now, and you can’t be thinking of her in that way. 

You just let her hold you. It was bringing her some form of comfort and that was better than any of your awkward reassurance could do. Sometimes, silence had a way of bridging gaps that words couldn't cross.

You never figured out how Minjeong knew that you were spending all your lunches with her. It hadn’t occurred to you to ask Jimin, and you knew that asking Minjeong herself was out of the picture. Instead you shamelessly spent your time with Jimin, slowly but surely warming up to her. If someone were to watch you sitting together they would observe two things. One; Jimin was completely used to your presence to the point that you could walk in complaining about being cold and flop down in her lap, whining that she was hogging all the warmth, and two; you stared a lot and Jimin was either unaware, or plainly, just didn’t care.

Staring at Jimin was your purpose, you decided. No one could be as mesmerising as her, even from underneath, looking up at her chin. That’s where you were today, your head in her lap, her book resting on your chest. You were meant to be reading along with her, nodding everytime you ‘finished’ the page so she could turn it, but in reality you found your eyes drifting to her instead.

Her eyelashes are long; they flutter every so often, whether it be from her eyes moving line to line through the book, or to look down at you, looking up at her. Whenever your eyes met you quickly flicked them back to the book, fighting against the warmth on your cheeks.

At this point she’d know, right? You had given up on indicating that you had finished a page a couple turns ago and that meant she knew… right? But Jimin never said anything and nothing about her behaviour suggested that she cared.

So you kept looking. It was your purpose to observe her in her most comfortable form.

Your train of thought chugged along in a daze, studying the curve of her bottom lip when suddenly someone switched the lever for the tracks.

Shuffling in her lap, you softly pinched her arm to grab her attention. “Jimin?”

She finished off her sentence, then looked at you questioningly, a quiet noise of curiosity forming in the space between you.

“Why do you always come to the library?” You stared up at her. The thought had popped across your mind several times in the past couple weeks, once when seeing her actively avoiding a group of the people you consider her friends; another when you accidentally eavesdropped on some girls in the bathroom gossiping about the ‘Elusive Yu Jimin’.

She closed the book and let it rest on your chest. Looking away from you, she seemed to be considering something. Then she furrowed her brows and let out a little breath. “What was your first impression of me?”

Words came to your mind. Conceited. Spoilt. Teacher’s Pet. Fake. Calculating. You couldn’t admit that to her, so instead you just kept staring, frozen. She doesn’t prompt you further though, and your train of thought wanders again. 

Jimin wasn’t any of those things; you had realised that weeks ago. In fact, sometimes you had the feeling that she was a little insecure about herself; occasionally a sad sort of look flashed across her eyes, one that you wished you’d never see again.

And you wished you had just spoken to her in P.E. instead of making assumptions about her. You missed out on so many moments that you could have had if you weren’t so superficial.

Then it hit you like a truck; the answer to your question. 

Everyone knows Jimin. She’s pretty, she’s popular, she gets asked out once a week, she has good grades, she’s aloof, but never outright mean..

But no one knows Jimin.

Your mouth parted slightly, guilt forming a lump in your throat. To realise that you’d fed into it too? You hadn’t tried to get to know her, you’d just put her in a box and moved on with it. 

She finally makes eye contact with you. A hint of unease swirls in them. You shut your mouth.

Then you decide to stop being such a pussy and front up. “I thought you were kind of a bitch.”

Her mouth drops.

“I don’t anymore!” You clarify quickly. “I just… assumed. You’re like so…” You bring your hand up from where it rests on your stomach to motion at her. She worries at her lip. “You give off the vibe that you’d tell me to fuck off if I wasn’t up to your standards.”

Jimin only stares at the book on your chest. 

You groan, thinking you’ve majorly fucked up. “Jimin… you know how much I hate admitting that I’m wrong.”

She sways her head, still keeping her eyes only on the book. 

“I was wrong about you.” You force out and finally her eyes meet yours.

“You’re anything but a bitch. You’re sweet and kind and funny and stupidly gorgeous, and I get it, you know, why so many people line up for a chance with you. Why you come here with a bouquet or a box of chocolates every other day.” You reach up to hold her cheek from below. “But I also understand why you don’t like being the subject of all that attention. Everyone just assumes what they want about you, like you’re a prize to be won. Or that you’re a stuck up narcissist who thrives on all the attention. Or that you even like bouquets.” Jimin giggles softly at your words, gazing down at you softly with her pretty brown eyes.

“And I was one of those people too. I regret it, but I can’t change that.” Your voice comes out determined, like you’re trying to prove to her that you’ve changed your perspective on her.

She looks down at you, gaze unwavering as she considers her next words.

"You’re sweet," she begins, her voice gentle. "But I do like flowers… as long as they’re from the right people." Her fingers trace absentminded patterns on the cover of the book resting on your chest.

There’s a beat of silence.

“And if I gave you one?” You ask hesitantly.

Jimin’s lips pull into a smile and this time you know it’s not fake.

“It’s for Jimin, right?” Minjeong stares at the bouquet in your hands. 

Both Chaeyoung and Yena whip their heads around to stare at you. “For Jimin? Yu Jimin?”

You flush brightly. Considering a couple months earlier you wanted nothing to do with the girl, you supposed it was a bit of a surprise for them. 

Chaeyoung grabs you and shakes your shoulders. “Did you hit your head? Do you have amnesia?”

“No, and no.” You laugh softly. “I just never gave her a chance. You know how it is.”

Minjeong pokes your arm and points to a figure in the distance. You perk up, instantly recognising Jimin from the way she walks. About to take a step towards her, Minjeong grabs your wrist and you turn to look at her questioningly.

“Is now the time to say I told you so?”

A/N: stop putting jimin in slytherin she doesn't belong there

[arecaceae175]

Skyloft is shown to have A LOT of pumpkins, so imagine Sky's joy when he gets to the surface and there are suddenly SO MANY new foods to try

Obviously he isn't gonna like all of them, but I imagine he'd at least TRY as many as he can

That being said, I kinda wanna know what kinds of foods from the surface you think he'd like best (I wanna say strawberries, but that's my favorite fruit so I know I'm biased)

"It's so bright!" Sky exclaimed, holding the berry up to his face. "What are the little dots?"

"Those are the seeds!" Wild said.

"They're so small."

The seeds were tiny green dots in the large, bright red fruit. Sky had never seen anything like it. He grinned wildly.

"What did you say it's called, again?" Sky asked.

"Strawberry." Wild popped one into his mouth. "They're pretty good. I like blackberries better, though. Nice and sour."

Sour was one of the new flavors Sky discovered on the surface. Skyloft's altitude meant a lack of diversity in their crops. They had plenty of leafy greens and root vegetables, but fewer fruits.

"Blackberries. Are those like raspberries?" Sky asked. "We had raspberries on some of the lower islands.

Wild hummed an affirmative as he ate another strawberry and pulled out his slate. "Yeah, similar. Here, I think I have some."

Sky frowned slightly as he stared at the strawberry. "Um, maybe one new food is enough for today?"

Wild immediately nodded and put his slate back on his hip. "Course. Sky, you don't have to try it if you don't want to."

Sky shook his head. "No, I want to! It's just..."

Trying new foods was scary. Sky was used to the same few grains and vegetables he grew up with, and nothing more. There was so much more variety on the surface: new flavors, textures, and combinations. Groose enjoyed experimenting in their kitchen and seeing what new combinations he could come up with—after the food had been tested for safe consumption, of course. Sky made an effort to try 40% of the things he made, but it was hard.

Wild nodded and leaned back on one elbow. He reached his free hand into their basket and grabbed another handful of strawberries. "We're in no rush."

Sky nodded and stared at the strawberry. He could do this. He was a hero of courage.

"It isn't very slimy, if that's what you're worried about. I gave you a very slightly underripe one so the texture will be firmer."

Sky looked at Wild in surprise. Wild was smiling brightly at Sky, and he had a strawberry seed stuck in the gap between his two front teeth.

Sky giggled, and pointed to the spot in his own mouth. "You're got a seed."

"Just saving it for later!" Wild joked as he wiggled his tongue around to dislodge it.

"Okay. Okay. Not slimy. I've got this."

"If you hate it, I still have a jar of your pumpkin soup on standby," Wild reassured him.

Sky smiled, and let the rush of affection for his friend's thoughtfulness give him the last once of courage he needed. He tossed the berry into his mouth and chewed. Flavorful juice burst across his tongue.

"This is so good!" Sky gasped.

Wild laughed and grinned widely. "I told you! I knew you'd like it."