#like theres any diff with other nights but still

[fappellmoan]

ok and now i need to talk this out on here cause like in all reality idc that much but this is just a little. awk. i might do this under the cut just so i can talk in a bunch of little paragraphs if thats chill ok ty

sooooo right ive mentioned that sam has been talking abt having beef specifically w his roommates but also that friend group at large bc they went on spring break trips w/o him. The roommate took a duo trip with fellow dyke and everyone else did like a big thing together erm

right thats just the context idrc except for the amount of times sams vaguely alluded to it and idk any other details. um but he has called his roommates like the 'poison pills' of the whole ordeal since they literally live together (but they havent been that close. prob since their freshman year when sam was out for a semester. which isnt inherently er bad but hes acting like hes been victimized for the last few years)

and like last night after this long sesh of working on our assignment sam and i r walking to the bus stop and he says something about finding out just like shitty awful drama and how it sucks having to live with 'two of those people' lmao sorry im not laughing im just like. whatever

this said i have plans to see. should i name sams roommate. ok i cant do that rn but we have plans to hang on monday and i would be seeing sam like immediately after for class. and esp if we're hanging out on campus like we might have a repeat of last time where sam spots us out and im not sure if he'd approach and hang this time. but hes obviously aware that me and them like chat

so it's like not so subtle that hes trying to get me to either ask abt the roommate or flat out not trust/see them anymore and i just havent engaged which might come across as "fake" but like. well ill be honest man theyre all a year younger than me and that doesnt mean much but it does feel very immature to handle things this way idk the whole story but im not gonna get roped into the like Omg i cant talk to this person bc of beef idk about...

and maybe i should feel worse abt not being #loyal to someone who is or at least at one point was considered a friend esp when it comes to someone that yeah ig he does know better than i but i dont... sorry ive been talking abt this bitch like cady and regina george except im not psychosexually obsessed im just like. hes been more insufferable than i remember lately yk.

i feel the Tiniest bit bad and like oh have i taken advantage of u bc yk we've hung and smoked and had dinner together often at ur place and def wormed my way into talking to the roommate via u etc but then i remember the way sam talks abt like anything and i dont feel all that bad

and theres this whole thing abt the eclipse i dont have plans to go see it it might happen last second but now after sams asked me abt it and messaged me like yeah idk we (him and his bestie) could maybe take a bus but we'd need a place to stay (asking to stay w my family bc i mentioned it like once on my close friends) and then theyre like going to a diff city anyway like oh my gooooood it's gonna be seen as shady and i dont really CARE i just need assurance that this is stupid as hell and its ok if im a little bit of an asshole about it. i dont think being mad abt the eclipse would hold up but w/e

has not been at the top of my worries and still isnt but now that this is all coming up in the next week im like frank g*llagher voice (sorry) oh Jesus Christ. you know

[thewandererh]

HII wait are you THE the Wanderer (like the one on yt)??? Really sorry if not and I’m mistaking you for the wrong person here

In any case! I love the way you draw iterators and slugcats SO MUCH??? Like your style is just so incredibly eye-pleasing and wonderful to look at I am in incredible awe. Anyway uhm. Yeah! Scuttles away

(- @strandedaylily)

yes!!! i am :]!! the one who animated tr on yt yeash thats me💥. and its you!! the real strandedaylily,, reposted some of ur stuff recently to show it off f4 answering this. love ur thingers :DD✨

and thanku sm 😭😭 that means??? so much??!? its been a journey finding my style and i love that u love it sm!! i have a few diff styles for iterators and slugcats, and whipped up these fast sketchy style analysis sheets last night.

observe:

Iterator Styles

I have two main styles for iterators: chibi and humanoid-ish. round head vs oval head with a cheek curve (cheek curve is a staple of my style. was actually against it when drawing iterators with it for the first time, yet it’s become such a signature now XD. I love it a lot huhu). here is an example with my lovely boy Twine (he is not the main antagonist despite his mischievous posings). also!! slim eyes for devious characters, like twine and shadows (and leaves, unwillingly /lore). the two ogs 💛 with their yellow jack-o-lantern faces. theres a phrase i made up a bit ago: you can’t spell wanderer without jack-o-lantern-faced iterator, can you?

got better with posing over the years but im still struggling with fabric and cloaks </3

Slugcat Styles

now for slugcats, its evolved a different way. rather with two stages, they have a few more. when i first discovered rainworld, i had a very simple way of drawing. u heads and 3 fingers and toes, aswell with really odd aggressively-digi legs. and then it evolved when i learned “sketching” (blotting down odd shapes with barely any sense of proportion. balls for the elbows, no line of action, eyeing it and getting anatomy wrong lol) and things got really disproportionate. theres more stages, but i made a few complex and simple examples of my style over the years :]!! maybe i put too much effort into it but it was interesting to figure out!!

theres some timeskips in the big timeline one, and some other arts of mine might showcase style changes a bit better, and this is only my digital gallery, but oh well!!! whats done is done until its undone💥 /ghibli movie reference

didn’t do iterators or general effects-and-tidbits-i’ve-learned (shading, rendering, lineart, etc) bc i’ve spent so much time already. so you get SLUGCAT BEAM BLASTED💥💥. all this art ranges from 2019-2024 (the years i’ve been a rainworld fan :])

yes i spent hours analyzing my old and new art just for fun but i think i learned something. thanks for asking this and putting a big smile on my face :]!! have a good day you (and anyone else whos reading this. thx for reading so far and so much💛✨!!)

[purvurs]

WELCOME TO . . .

see about + byf below 🐇 . . . find me in other places

hai im dev :3 (they/them) im a 21 yr old self taught artist / illustration major. i have been madly in love w the horror genre ever since i was a little bacteria and i love to draw scary shit ! ! i also love to doodle fanart of media i adore and my own original characters. i am currently working on a story involving a few of them + a haunted house. FUBfree. insane pervert. i disturb the comfortable 🐇 BEFORE YOU FOLLOW:

this art blog contains 18+ material* sometimes ! ! if u r a minor and choose to follow me i would like to please ask that u to block the tags #mdni to avoid said content. if yr a minor and i see u in the notes of something saucy u will b boiled. just dont touch any of it ok plzz kthx

this blog is not family friendly in general and will deal w themes like horror, death, taboos etc. however most of it will b tagged so if yr uncomfy w smth just block that tag lol

transmisogynists, zionists or frankly any bigots whatsoever r not welcome here. fuckin obviously ! theres no real dni beyond that, if i am uncomfortable w u interacting ill just block u :P

this blog is profiction ! if u disagree and/or r antific then u r still welcome and encouraged to enjoy my art, just dont have "kys freaks" in yr bio or whatever cuz thats weird

*18+ material will b mature jokes and suggestive art, not pornographic material. sadly. debating on either making a separate blog or account on a diff social media for that . . . (fuck u tumblr for banning 🌽)

thank u for reading :3 i hope that u enjoy my work and hav a good day/afternoon/night forever and ever and ever 🌎✌️🕊️🌈

[pinnithin]

long kind of sad gay poast ahead

saw something about loving the unlovable and it got me thinking about how its a central theme in most of my writing. paired with like, isolation, being separate/other, the doomed concept of human connection, being the only person who can love and understand you the way you need, etc - i watched evangelion way too young if you couldnt guess.

anyway and this is due to the fact that a core part of my identity and personality revolves around the fact that i considered myself unlovable for the majority of my life, first unconsciously through childhood neglect, then by choice as some "you cant fire me i quit" teen angst sort of thing, then by a doomed sense of resignation all through college. its a significant part of how i see myself even now after years of working to unlearn it - ive managed to dial it back to "im difficult to love" which still isnt great but yknow. better than it was

which is why i have attachment issues and preferred one night stands for a long time. my romantic relationships (many of them short lived) have been with well meaning partners who assured me constantly that like, even though youre difficult to love its worth it. and that was all nice and good but it made me feel so fraudulent and disgusted with myself because it put me in the position of thinking either 1) this person doesnt actually know me that well at all or 2) i have somehow tricked this person into thinking under all the baggage theres someone worth loving. which is something i find difficult to reconcile with because the baggage is me too. i cant get rid of it. inevitably those people got wise and it ended up not working out.

by now have all these arguments and strategies geared up to explain to people who make the mistake of caring about me that its really not worth the effort, we're better off as friends or acquaintances, etc. im very transparent about the issues i deal with so its all just laid out there from the beginning and im not like, tricking people into being in a relationship with me or whatever by hiding it. ive talked in circles with exes over and over along the general lines of "im difficult to love" > "no youre not" > "i have xyz wrong with me and i push people away, trust me you dont want to deal with this" > "okay well we can work on that, and youll get better and itll be worth it" > "what if i never get better" > "you will, ill help you" > [me relenting bc im unable to dash their hopes and dreams that even if i Get Better im still Me at the core and the things that make me difficult to love are a permanent part of me]

the relationship im in now doesnt even let me get into that. shan is just like, youre not. youre not difficult to love, youre actually very easy to love and it has always been easy to love you, even before we were dating. and i dont have a comeback for that.

even with my usual strategy of "heres an itemized list of all the reasons dating me is a risk" theyre just like well sure, thats difficult for you to deal with, and im sorry its so hard for you, but that doesnt make you difficult to love. the loving is easy. that part has always been easy.

she doesnt treat me like a problem that needs to be solved she doesnt try to be my savior from myself she doesnt give any indication that shes just waiting it out until i reach a certain threshold of acceptable or unacceptable. she just loves me and trusts me to take care of myself, and it places a lot of personal responsibility on me to be better - not for us but for me, because im the only person who can do that and they know it.

its the healthiest relationship ive ever been in and ive never felt so safe and free to be myself. i dont need to live up to any expectations to eventually make myself lovable. im easy to love. hard thing for me to believe in self practice but going back to the inherent disconnect between all humans, who am i to know or control what they consider easy or difficult? i dont judge her when something she finds difficult is easy for me, so why wouldn't the opposite be true?

[nethervox]

tag ppl you want to get to know better

tagged by @heavensw4rd

tagging no one in particular bc im shy o_o but if any oomfs see this n wanna do it u can say i tagged u ok? <3

ITS LONG SORRY here is a read more

LAST SONG: athena - nova twins ✧ pulled from my most recent liked songs bc i dont listen to that much music,,

CURRENTLY WATCHING: dungeon meshi ✧ ITS SO FUN, the anime release finally got me off my ass to start reading the manga. ive gotten through the first 4 volumes so far but now i wanna give the anime a bit to catch up to that point before i read any further

THREE SHIPS:

Linhardt/Mitsue/Fray - "who the fuck are those first two" well they are from my brain <3 linhardt is my wol who was drafted into being gods silliest soldier and he is coping w that very well. smiling. mitsue is my other wol but they dont have the echo, they were born in a wet cardboard box all alone. poorly socialized hydrogen baby. genuinely itd take so many words to describe what the deal w these three is that i do not have the space for here. i am so normal abt them

Marcille/Falin - havent gotten that far ofc but from what i have seen + ooc later panels (bc nobody tags their Fucking spoilers) they are doing crazy things to each others brains. women SHINE 💗✨💖💞

Shulk/(A)lvis - they are so **** coded its not even funny. i need to watch xb1 again actually its been ages

FAVORITE COLOR: (posting from my purple blog with my blue/purple sona and my purple phone) i like pink :3c

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: i had coffee w a beso, it had pineapple jelly in it :) idk what im gonna have later tho, theres not that much here... instant ramen sweep i guess

FIRST SHIP: girl idk. mario/peach??? i drew a comic abt them in my journal when i was six. i probably still have it buried somewhere in my closet. can you tell im not that big into shipping actually

PLACE OF BIRTH: texas 🧍

CURRENT LOCATION: still texas but a diff part of it now, as of last november. dont care for it.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: CELIBACY 💃💃

LAST MOVIE: lotr fellowship of the ring ✧ watched the extended edition over discord while i worked and got very little done that night. movies are cool i think

CURRENTLY WORKING ON:

updating refs for art fight like i said i was gonna do last year (i am still putting it off at this very moment. please yell at me to stop that)

rotating a new oc who is a possessed suit of armor. its like if a colony of mold decided to be a person. my little silly

[casinoquartet]

tumblr user @cutthesky u r So right for this

like. i think this reflects a Lot in fancontent as well . for example i can probs name One clownzy centric fic where its an established relationship (and even then its . branzy fucking up a pie so so bad 😭 (heres the link btw) and Most clownzy fics i've read have either that indentured servitude thing going on Or are meet cutes so. Yeah (i think partly its bc the Most clownzy content there is in canon is. yk. gay casino murder indentured servitude for saving your life where one of the other guys in the casino quartet polycule asking if youre being held hostage) (and just in general. flirting via threats and being scared so. yk) which does! make an interesting combination since when i typically think/write about casino quartet i do tend to say i base it off more on. echocraft!clownzy with that whole "call me any time you need :*" thing and clown stabbing a bunch of branzys friends 4 funzies so. also the giggling "hehe :3c" energy they have when conspiring to kill said people. its awesome tbh and so so silly

ANYWAYS so true on the casino quartet thing like. theres a million diff ways to see How swagdoons commitment would help build up clownzys relationship to b more long lasting

(at least for me and my specific au that is Literally the basis of how i think abt casino quartet in general) (btw this is one of those aus that i just rotate a bunch in my head for enrichment idk when ill ever publish it, if at all </3) i Personally like to think of swagdoons being these ride of die kinda guys, like the ones youve been through so So much with and clownzy being those like "omg heyyyyy cutie" couples who started dating within like. 5 seconds of knowing each other

but i do imagine them teaming up one day and as clownzy work together they start just to. notice more things about each other. notice about all of the shitty jokes they make with each other and the smile lines on each other faces and the way they can make each other laugh and the way they giggle and smile whenever they say all of those terrible terrible flirts with each other, much to everyone chagrin

but like, most importantly i think they can stop and look back and realize that they trust the person in front of them so so much and even when the other party could have betrayed, they didnt. and thats just smth very sweet and cool to me (they still commit crimes and murder together btw . dont forget that part. but hey they're still capable of loving!)

and on top of working w the rest of the gang i think. theyd all share that mutual trust w each other

at least in the context of my au i like to imagine clown and ash standing on the balcony in the middle of the night, away from whatever party they were forced to go to, and just. talking. respecting the other. like saying "hey the thing you did back there was pretty cool, thanks man" and just sit in comfortable silence while confessing those kinda things together. just them, the sky, and each other. thats at least what i think abt them

and with red and branzy i like to imagine one of them in the kitchen already, making some coffee, while the other walks in, a little awake and a little hungry and meeting the other in the kitchen. and while theyre getting on with their routines, they just start chatting very quietly because its some god awful early hour in the morning (for them) and the others asleep. and while they offer to make the other breakfast, they just do very small talk. talking about each others sudoku or worlde for the day or whatever and letting the sun bask upon them while they just chat abt small things like that. smth very domestic but nice i think :)

anyways i Know my interpretations and how i characterize casino quarter is very. soft compared to some other ones but like, i think it's nice to think about a group of traitors getting together and going, "you know what? despite everything, i trust you. and i hope you can trust me too"

maybe im not looking in the right places but i DO find it funny that in my experience i have found that swagdoons have SIGNIFICANTLY more fancontent where they're married than clownzy does . like idk why but that's so funny to me 😭

[sexysilverstrider]

"You can't fall in love with a video game character."

The character:

[faaun]

a triangle and other things id like on my body

[zukkatrash]

atla pirate au

(soley based on me misreading a diff post and now wanting to see mai in a keira knightly getup) (also everything i know abt pirates is based on the pirates of the caribbean, treasure planet and black sails and hasty 2 am googling) (also also big fucking shoutout to @s-suki for helping me with this)

the gaang's ship - aka The Avatar

yue is captain!!! (@s-suki ur brain is huge and i luv u) so from what i know being a captain is a looot abt politics and u know our girl yue is good at that, not to mention how much her crew loves her bc she gives everything for them

sokka is navigator, one look at the stars and he knows where they are instantly, he charts a course in record time, captains have in fact fought over him but he is nothing but loyal to his captain!!!

aang spends at least half his time in the sails, as lookout and keeping knots secure(? idk shit abt sailing haha) he’s also the fastest one they got, no matter if he’s running, swimming or paddling a small boat

suki is the best fighter they have bc of course she is (also theres no misogyny in this bc i said so) grown men shit themselves when they see her / also shes boatswain (the boatswain was in charge of a ship's anchors, cordage, colors, deck crew and the ship's boats, and would also be in charge of the rigging while the ship was in dock)

toph! makes! bombs! also if u give her a gun that u found thats been underwater for three months and u give her like 2 hours, not only is it completely functional afterwards but it somehow works better than before?

katara is quartermaster and shes def like 30% of how yue keeps her crew in line

haru is ship cook (i know this has zero connection to canon but have you considered boi soft and warm like bread)

teo is the ships carpenter (highest ranking if they got more than one)

jet is a fighter obvs, also him and sokka do NOT get along but yue has this real icy stare that makes them both shut up immediately

smellerbee is dating toph and yue is not opposed to their relationship but does make sure theyre not around eachother too much when explosives are also near bc those 2 def get up to some wild shit

longshot is obvs the best shot they have and is the other lookout

appa is a parrot and he spends all of his time being adorable

momo is still a lemur and just steals so much shit

on to the firenation

ozai rules over a whole ass port/island or smth idk but like all the pirates have to deal with his fucking bullshit

zhao is his 2nd in command and yue at some point guts him 😊

azula is of course captain of her ship and she rules with an iron fist

mai is first mate (making any possible future betrayals that much worse)

ty lee is ship medic and just constantly gets underestimated in fights and wins like right away

zukos life motto on azulas ship is 'i hate it here' bc his job is basically everything nobody else wants to do (until! he is no longer on the ship. does he get pushed off the ship to drown? does he leave in the night with all the valuables he can carry and a map of a great prize? idk, YOU DECIDE)

more thoughts on zuko:

i dont think he’d join the gaang right away after he’s no longer with the fire nation but would first like half-die on some island (even if he didn’t get kicked off, i just imagine he’d do smth drastic like think he can sail a ship without getting lost just bc he’s spent a lot of time on a ship but like, honey no, navigation isnt as easy as it looks) bc zuko alone u kno

iroh is still his uncle in this, but zuko doesnt know that, so he thinks he’s just this weird hermit guy that finds him and takes him in

zuko is like "what does he want? what his secret agenda? how will this guy use this against me?" and iroh is just like "boy! eat something but also are u like okay? u want some cryptic advice thats consisting of 60 ocean metaphors?"

iroh does tell him hes his uncle tho and that he left when zuko was really young and he wasnt the only one who ran from that house that day...

URSA IS ALIVE!

she had been banished by ozai and threatened with zukos murder if she had stayed, ozai wouldve killed her but he knew he couldnt take her in a straight fight and if she had been the type you could assassinate they wouldntve ever gotten together anyway

now shes vibing with iroh and lu ten, because yes lu ten is alive (listen if there is any feasable way of my boi to be alive he is!!!)

also they’re def supporting everyone who opposes ozai as asafely as they can on whatever weird remote island theyre at

once zuko joins the crew of the avatar, sokka laughs like straight five minutes abt zuko thinking he could navigate his stolen boat after not even learning how to properly read a map, not to mention everything else that goes into navigating and zuko is like "fuck u" and sokka is like "lets show u how to read a map so this doesnt happen again" still with tears of laughter in his eyes, and maybe later when hes been on the crew for longer and maybe saved sokkas life in a fight, sokka teaches him abt the stars too and cue zuko pining after the way too beautiful guy trying to explain constellations but zuko just keeps getting lost in his eyes and being hyper aware of how close sokkas arm is when he points out specific stars

the reason zuko joins them in the first place is bc the avatar is the only crew that could protect him against azula and ozai and they’re the only ones willing/able to go up against the fire nation

also katara is the first to see zuko after he parted with the fn and she like immediately has a sword to his throat and boi just fucking faints

maybe jee is also a captain in this bc i really like it when the wani shows up in fanfics and maybe they’re not on good terms with ozai but they’re flying under the radar bc its just a small ship and they do bring in their percentage so maybe zuko joins his crew before he goes to find the gaang?

now some general thoughts:

the dai lee is the chinese navy out to get them all

miyuki is one of their highest ranking officers and gives the pirates a run for their money, but weirdly never goes to chase the Avatar

hakoda is also a captain but he’s working under ozai to take the operation down from the inside (also yes of course his husband bato is also there with him ^^)

kue is absolutely some weird hermit guy

once again big thanks to @s-suki for helping me with this check out their blog theyre great! (theyre on break rn tho but dont let that deter u!!)

if anyone wants to add to this PLEASE do!!! also if anyone draws or writes smth for this please please please tag me bc i would love to see it!! (also i will love u forever ♡)

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

omg - another bizzy daze  - so much onna table  - 3 way msging w india sorta - i took the morning ez rider  really except for dishes and kitty did fuck all on purpose til after acupuncture  - oh a couple msgs to set up meeting for a bit in evening - yah wo asking each other there b 2 guitars in tow we meet at kava - play a bit - talk  - deep heavy for some moments just cuz srs stuff  - then some play and fuck yah we make magic -  only 2 of us there physical but yah we b 3  - and walking down the street outta nowhere a singer a woman joins in - liam has been writing new songs - he slides into something vaguely familiar and sings along w her - i think she is someone liam knows - he wonders if i know her - neither has ever seen met anything w her ever  - she sings well w heart and soul - we fucking flow and ppl lissen - she introduces herself - she talks w liam a bit - leevs   - minor magic thrown casual outta nowhere thin air the atmosphere  -  love not ego tho we using all our skillz - one last tawk biz stuff - a thrown together presentation cuz a wild card and liam plays it  - and the main person inna mix w that going to germany for a tour in a couple days  - i getz tired and liam gonna call me uber when a local i sorta recognize ask if i will let him b my taxi - he needs $  - he turns out 2 b a - uh - character but cool mostly - he try to hustle - offers blow - for a price of course - not even tempted - i lost everything i had more than once cuz a coke  - yah ETOH inna mix as well i was drowning  in cuba libres  - i think i left my headphones - not the 1st time nor the last im sure - im chronic  - comes w the territory 

yah we had fun playing and healing  - and we laff  

home about same time as unpoet - we tell each other our days and how go - and we laff too 

we eat and hydrate 

its after midnite - again - but fuck imma founder of a record label its early for a musician lol  - dishes yah - i should do laundry - its endless plus 1 now - in the morning - maybe moon still - then 

another meet w liam 2morrow eve  - plan is up early - laundry  - morning nap - acupuncture - errands - afternoon nap maybe cuz imma rawker roller lol but aging 2nd childhood  - nah - i gotta b the adult in the room lol  - idk - im makin it up as i goes along like usual - after making plans 

i planned on getting home earlier - going to bed early for instance  - theres still - dishes - and no moon to gaze at - but at least it wont b too painful 

hopefully no insomnia like last night  - i could blame india and time diff - and perspectives that shift  - oh yah and the kitty wuz up several times needing my attention - she ok - usual issues w digestion - getting better again then a period where she total ok  - any other cat would scratch me surely  - esp cuz i got tired and grumpy 

she is such a good kitty she forgive quickly 

uh there dishes still b

unwashed 

night

love

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[lilytcyip]

December 31st, 2019

1.3 tera v w/ rjin & ggao

1.4 cactus & la foret w/ jng

1.8 talked it out with jng ; tried to understand that if i were happy, what more could you ask for

1.11 cyns bday dinner

1.11 craft beer w/ aleung & lwong

1.13 arisu & standing egg with efeng & aleung ; drove on highway for the first time

1.18 west dineout w/ annie pkp

1.19 glass w/ fifi

2.10 first snow of the year

2.3 cny lunch at home with the fam - tong yuen & poon choi

2.4 mooseknuckles - grateful

2.5 lunar new year

2.16 hangiout with mamayip & sis: beta 5, fixing the parka, meetfresh, miku sushi dindin

2.17 mom leaving for 2 months, wandering earth with the yips

2.19 happy hour cactus w/ fifi

2.20 kokoro lunch & shopping w/ rjin

2.20 so hyang w/ veda & nwu

2.21 black been noodles & tonkatsu lunch & usagi matcha sweets w/ ewong

2.22 green leaf sushi & grounds for coffee w/ vtan

2.25 sushi mura w/ acao ; larry berg planes and kisses for the first time

3.13 mental health talk w/ nwu & tchiu + jamjar

3.15 virtuous pie & nanas green tea w/ rjin

3.16 wine night w/ claw, aleung & fsyal

3.17 tabom & stanely park w/ jerpilla

3.23 pool & rc shopping with jyang

4.3 studying with jyang on campus & langara bye

4.9 studying with jyang at my house

4.18 ramen danbo & official date 

4.20 so hyang & off the grid waffles w/ ayip

4.26 sci ning off w/ aleung, claw, fsyal, lwong & mcheung

4.27 clay llama terra pot class

4.29 so hyang budae jjigae & yifang w/ ewong

4.30 rc shopping & sushi lover with the yips 

5.1 maenam, kits beach & rain or shiine ice cream w/ rjin

5.2 our first little tiff & being called chubby by mlo

5.3 shopping w/ vchan, aleung & fsyal

5.7-5.11 LA trip

5.8 LACMA & melrose & century city field

5.9 warner bros tour

5.10 malibu

5.28-6.1 hokkaido, japan

5.29 a 2-floor hotel with own onsen

5.31 otaru food adventures

6.1 doraemon painting & royce airport

6.2 macau: got scammed by taxi & lost luggage

6.7-6.15 inner mongolia & beijing

6.18 first co op offer 

6.21 fire port party at fifis house

6.29 pottery painting w lwong, aleung, vchan, fsyal

7.5 brunch w/ rjin at jethro’s fine grub, baker & table

7.6 nwu’s birthday dindin at coast, hangout with aleung & nwu at nightingale

7.14 leavenworth cherries

7.17 brunch w/ rjin at OEB

7.19 nightmarket w/ jyang, mlaw, rjin

7.21 beach day w/ aleung, fsyal & lwong; hy’s with fam

7.24 chau veggies w/ acao

7.27 shiok & icy bar w/ ewong

8.3 first day of work at doctors office

8.4 escape room w/ vchan, fsyal & jyang; bowling & anh and chi

8.17 dindin w/ fsyal, aleung & tlim; double date walks at olympic village with ancas

8.18 - 8.19 kelowna

8.18 polar grove & penticton lazy river, mission hill

8.19 kayaking, quail’s gate

8.24 lit night at fifis house with the girls and boys

8.25 aleung’s bday harrison trip

8.27 work shopping & nuba w/ fsyal

8.28 sleepover w/ rjin

8.29 brunch w/ aleung, moii cafe chill with fsyal too

9.3 first day of co op work

9.7 grave of the fireflies & wildtale cuddles

9.14 eric chou meet & greet

9.19 amandarachlee neg comment and posted my encouragement on her story

10.5 maiko parfait & shopping w/ jyang, earls with the amigos

10.18 gmen & oncecake: melody, rillakuma, card & collage

10.24 dark table w/ rjin

11.7 moii after work 

12.15 baking custard souffle pancakes w/ ewong

12.18 office christmas party & bbt w/ slim

12.19 glow

12.21 fifi’s christmas party

12.22 christmas market w/ rjin: churros & chimney cake

12.23 psyc team secret santa & mahjong

12.25 christmas dindin at market by jean-georges

12.26 birthday dindin at zeferelli

12.27 ring & birthday dinner at brix and mortar w/ jyang

12.28 skated alone, worked out, baked & dindin at botanist

looking back at it now, i definitely went out a lot more compared to previous years LOL i had some struggles in january, and at multiple points in my life i blamed myself for being ungrateful, for seeking more when i already had so much in life compared to other people. my friends were there for me and i wouldnt have been able to live through it without them. then again, during reading break in february, i got myself into the same hot mess and i was sad about it for a week and i blamed myself for getting so attached so quickly. because of these experiences, my expectations were v low and i didnt really expect anything when i talked to jyang, what they say really is true, you get it the moment you stop seeking for it. it comes and find you (: the 3 most important that happened this year is burbur, co op job & me getting more comfortable around doggs; this is a big deal !! i actually like cuddling dogs and i feel less scared of them as long as i have some time to get used to them!! im proud of myself for making progress with my phobia! after i started my co op job, bc i didnt have a lot to do, i felt like i wasnt actively contributing to my workplace and that i was very useless. i still feel the same way now, but i think i am slowly getting used to it. thankfully, my coworkers are VERY nice and i enjoy working around them. while i did not get a different position for january, im still grateful that i got an extended placement. nonetheless, meeting with the different PIs and sumeet pointed me in the right direction of looking for nserc / volunteering opportunities when i do go back to school. AND ofc burbur! im grateful that we were able to be there for each other for the past 8 months, both the ups and downs and i am so so thankful that we’re understanding and patient with each other, as we help each other learn along the way and help each other become a better version of ourselves. this companionship is better than i have asked for and i always remind myself to focus on the important things rather than the minor inconveniences. this year, in terms of fitness goals, ive been doing really well before asia. but ever since i came back, it all went downhill and i gained back all the weight that i lost this year year LOL so in 2020, one of my biggest goal is to eat healthy again, and workout more consistently. getting a job in sept kinda interfered with my progress too, bc i was so tired after work, even when i wasnt doing anything and i stressed eat bc i felt terrible. a lot of diff factors made me feel super stressed, and the fact that i wasnt eating clean / exercising reguarly made me feel worse about the whole situation ): so in 2020, maintaining a healthy lifestyle will be one of my top priorities and gifting myself a healthy body is one of greatest things i can do for myself. this also contributed to the lack of journalling near the end of the year, it felt like bc i wasnt doing the things i was “supposed to do”, i just felt so bad whenever i couldnt tick off that particular habit whenever i fill in my trackers. but tonight, i watched this video and it talked about habits should be for awareness, not for self-hate or self-loathing. this is something that i need to keep in mind. ever since april really, the issue of leaving my house and meeting up with my friends have always stressed me in fear of dealing with passive aggressiveness with my mom lool everytime i get inviited to plans, i just get anxiety about having to tell her about it LOL and even when im out, having a msg/ call for her freaks me out in fear that she will get mad at me for being home late and etc and fifi really woke me up with her words, i should just care less LOL i need to stop caring so much about what she thinks, bc at the end of the day, this IS my life and if i never make any changes, i will never be able to grow and be independent. i think this pree much sums up all my events and emotions in 2019, the last year of the 2010s. in the next decade, a lot of things will happen as i will be in my 20s - 30s, where new opportunities will arise, and graduate uni, do my masters, find a job, maybe even marry and move out LOL the 2020s will definitely be an impt decade, but just for next year i want to:

1. understand that i am old enough to make choices, and in general, care less about what she thinks

2. at the same time, i want to appreciate and be grateful for what my mom, dad and annie have done for me; a lot of the times, i feel like i take them for granted just bc i know they will always be there for me and this is not how you should treat your biggest supporters

3. trust that everything will workout in the end, while you may not be able to envision what you career / life would be like when youre 30, you can definitely take small steps and move towards your goal

4. be mindful of what i eat and exercise regularly (4x hiit & cardio a week) ; treats & sweets in moderation; use those habit trackers for awareness, not for self-loathing / self-hate

5. create art regularly, read more and at least do 5 duolingos every week! 

every year, time just seems to go by faster and faster and i feel scared at times. as i type this, theres only 8 minutes left of this decade LOL so in 2020, continue to live in the moment, be present, cherish those that are around you, and have faith that everything will come together, one piece at a time. at the same time, always rmb that you can make small changes to be a better version of yourself, whenever & however you want and this is the 1 thing that other people can’t stop you from doing! 

[theocseason4]

This always sends me spiraling no matter how many times I’ve watched this scene. Last episode her grandma made a huge deal out of leaving jen alone at the house because then something might happen w/ henry since “teenage boys think of one thing and one thing only” so jen, who obviously looks up to her grandma since shes her only role model like ever and who badly wants to be respected by her and to make her proud, also made a huge deal out of it which resulted in a fight with henry ofc so now cut to this ep and they’re still fighting. Jen does NOT want to hear about henry bc he proved to be just like any other boy so grams once again chimes in and says she should forgive him since its not his fault that he is a teenage boy and has a dirty mind bc that’s ALL teenage boys!!!! Which makes jen, once again, look at things in a diff light bc she trusts her grams advice like why shouldn’t she! So she and henry are back. They accidentally spend the night together after he makes this huge romantic gesture that meant a lot to her bc no one has ever done anything of the sort before and now she’s trying to explain to her grandma what happened and how happy she is and ofc grams goes straight into assuming the worst and blaming jen for allegedly sleeping with henry even though she advised her to forgive him despite the constant threat of sex he presented!!!!! Not to mention that the reason jen gave henry a chance in the first place was bc grams told her she should do so bc I’m convinced theres no way in hell jen wouldve ever gotten into this relationship otherwise bc this kid is annoying as helllll and jen saw right through it immediately

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[kneeuh-nia]

BTS Love Yourself Tour LA Day 2

 ~basically my experience at the concert before i forget everything cause im lowkey already forgetting parts of it~

~I love all of them but my bias is Jimin & my bias wrecker is Jin~

i actually wasnt planning on going to the concert but my cousin somehow managed to get a second pair of tickets even tho she already went on Day 1. Anyways my uncle asks if i want to go with her to the thursday show & I immediately say yes. So i basically only have 2 days to mentally prepare myself to see them after stanning them for like 4 years

Thursday comes, I go pick up my cousin & we get to staples around 5PM & theres so many people w/ BTS/BT21 merch. I meet up w/ my friend & the other person she went to the concert with & we chill around for a bit. I didnt have an ARMY Bomb but the other 3 did so i kept debating on getting it or not & i somehow i reasoned myself to get one.

Around 5:30 they start letting people into the venue but we’re confused on where to go & as soon as we get in I get separated from my friend but it didnt matter cause we had different seats anyways. Instead of waiting in the merch line outside I bought my lightstick from the store inside Staples where there was just a wall full of them & no line so that gave me no time to convince myself I didn’t need one. (But now im hella broke （πーπ）but having one made the concert so much better)

We go buy some snacks & head to our seats. I was so shook when I found out before the concert that we had P1 seats in row 1 but when we were actually there I was even more shook cause it was basically on the left side of the main stage in the area right after the people on the floor. By then we had 2 hours left before the concert started but they kept playing their mvs from War of Hormone era until Fake Love era on the screens (I wish that they played their mvs from before WoH & from rap line’s mix tapes). Even tho the same vids kept replaying throughout those 2 hours everyone kept screaming/singing & doing the fanchants. With only 30 min left before it started my cousin wanted McDonalds so i rushed out to get some & ate basically in 10 min. Then the concert started.

Basically throughout the concert I kept debating on whether I wanted to take good pictures, good videos, or just pay attention so i did a mixture of all 3. (Kinda wish that i only took vids & gave up on taking pics cause they weren’t that good & I was too focused on pics to give them all of my attention). So basically it started w/ a VCR of all the members & then fireworks went off & they walked out w/ outfits that made them look like princes & they started doing IDOL & it was so amazing w/ everyone cheering especially when the backup dancers came out for the last chorus part.

After they did IDOL they did their individual introductions & all of them were hyped & excited & cute & unreal & just ugghhhhh. I dont remember the order they went in & what they specifically said but i’ll just go through each members intro. I dont remember what RM said specifically but he had some of the loudest screams of the night & that continued throughout the entire concert. JHope did his “I’m your Hope!!!!! I’m your angel!!!!!! I’M......” & everyone responded w/ JHOPE!!!! & i think he said something along the lines of being excited to be back in LA but i think besides RM he spoke the most English during his time to talk. Suga did his dramatic standing  there for a bit & took out his ear piece to hear ARMY scream for him & then did his intro. Jin did his flying kiss again for his intro!!! (I was kind of hoping he would have a little heart event thing like he did last tour where he took out random hearts) Jungkook’s mic wasn’t working so RM lent him his mic to introduce himself & he said “it’s been awhile” which has basically been going everywhere. I don’t remember what Jimin & V did or said but they were so beautiful IRL. & since Jimin is my bias i just kept thinking he looks so good w/ his ashy brown/blonde hair & contacts. While doing their introductions Jungkook kept trying to fix his mic & eventually had to go backstage to fix & when he came back all of them were like “Are you ready Jungkook?”

Then they did Save Me & I’m Fine. Watching them do this stage on like MCountdown or any of the music shows doesn’t give these songs & choreo justice & the transition between Save Me to I’m Fine was so smooth. Everyone did the fanchants w/ all their names & everything for Save Me. I was so excited to hear I’m Fine cause it was one of my fav songs off Answer cause of Yoongi’s rap & he went in on his part & it just made my life complete hearing his rapping live. They performed Magic Shop next & that was more fan interaction. They mostly stayed on the main stage & a little bit on the runway towards the extended stage. V & Jungkook I think kept looking towards our section/area & all of them kept waving their hands towards the upper levels. & everyone responded w/ “I’ll show you” when it was the “so show me” part. & Jimin’s vocals during his high note was sooooo goood

JHope’s & Jungkook’s VCR played next as they went backstage so I was getting hyped for the all the solo stages that were gonna be happening. JHope’s solo was first & just his dancing was amazing & it just looked like he was having a good time & he kept jumping around & throwing hearts but also dancing at the same time & he was just fluid while doing everything while singing & rapping his song. Euphoria was next & of course cause it’s the golden maknae so his stage was amazing. (I was tempted to do the ‘annyeonghaseyo joneun bangtan sonyeondan hwanggeum maknae jeon jungkook imnida’ meme thing that Byron started but i was way too focused on his stage + plus i would mess it up anyways) His stage really was Euphoria for me

They all came out w/ white outfits for their I Need U + Run stage. They actually didnt do the choreo for either song. I Need U was more on the main stage & as it was ending they went towards the extended stage where they did Run. Run was so hyped & they kept jumping & spinning around the ‘Run, Run, Run’ & they kept doing fanservice towards the pit area. I really wish that i recorded during this but i just ended up taking a bunch of pics. They just seemed really happy during this part & they kept smiling & everyone was extra loud during the English parts

Then it was RM’s & Jimin’s VCR & solo stage time. Jimin was so cute during the VCR & he came out & did Serendipity (the FULL VERSION) & I lost my shit for my boy. I knew he’s a good performer but seeing his dancing & singing just made it more real. He’s so fluid while dancing & his voice is amazing & just the amount of people that were singing his song made me so proud of him. His stage also had bubbles instead of confetti like some of the other members & it just made his stage more ethereal. He also had a part in the choreo that involved the floor & everyone lost their shit when that happened. RM came out w/ this long blue jacket that he lowkey kept making it come off one his shoulders at the start of his stage like Jimin’s “accident” during BST. But again everyone was hyped & we all did the “saram, saram, saram & I live so I love” His rapping was great & then his singing part came & we just lost it...but then we lost it again when the rest of the members came to join him for the last part of the song

Then it was time for DNA & then their medley of other songs. During DNA the fanchants were on point & Jimin kept throwing hearts around when it was his part & Jin did another flying kiss. They did a diff medley from Day 1 & this was their more lit medley w/ Attack on Bangtan, Boyz with Fun, & Baepsae, & Dope, which just made them more hyped & let them more fun on stage. Honestly they’re was so much going on it was hard to focus on everything but there are so many memorable parts. Like at the end of Attack on Bangtan they were all fanning Jungkook. Jungkook was doing the shoot dance on the runway towards the extended stage. Hobi was lit the entire time & there was time where he just kept dancing towards our section. Namjoon was also feeling himself during one of the songs & kept dancing. They were all just rude during Baepsae I can’t. & Jimin did another heart at the end of Dope

After that they did Airplane pt.2 & i live for the choreo w/ the mics. I loved the mariachi part + just when they kept naming all the different cities. & then it was V’s turn for his solo & he had the VCR to himself & he did the choreo w/ the coat & masks & his deep voice got me. They performed Fake Love & Jimin had an “accident” w/ his shirt & Jungkook was rude w/ his shirt lifting part & the fanchants were sooooooo goooooddddd again.

The last solo stages were Suga’s & Jin’s. Suga’s song is my fav out of the Trivias & he just started his stage by lying on a couch but then he got up & did his choreo & ooooohhhhhhh boooooyyyyy HIS RAPPING & SINGING OOOHHH GODDDDDD how can people say no one cheered for his stage the first day. Before Epiphany even started everyone was chanting KIM SEOKJIN & the stage opened up to him playing the piano. Just his vocals & high notes were on point that night. How dare BigHit deprive this man of the lines he deserves. There was a part were he was walking up the stairs to an elevated stage & everyone started chanting KIM SEOKJIN as he walked up them. & then he finished out his song w/ those high notes. Honestly Jin’s solo stage might have been my fav solo stage

The rest of vocal line came out & performed The Truth Untold. This was probably my favorite stage of the whole concert cause everyone was singing the entire song. Their vocals & harmonies were unreal & they were on this raised platform where at the end petals fell down on them & made them look ethereal. Rap lines turn was next & they performed Tear. Lowkey I didn’t know the lyrics to this song that much but I was still hyped. Then they announced their last song was Mic Drop & again it was lit again especially w/ that dance break.

Their ending VCR was played & everyone kept chanting BTS as we waited for their encore stage. We had ARMY Time & took out the slogan banners that said “if we’re with BTS, even an endless maze is paradise” They came out w/ ARMY Bombs & V had these huge glasses that I didnt expect for him to have & sang So What & Anpanman & they went crazy on stage again & at the end of So What they messed w/ Jimin’s hair & V kept patting his butt/side where his Army Bomb was. Anpanman = lit & fun. Jungkook was extra & did the thing where he laid down on the floor & didnt use his hands to get up

They had their final ment. They were talking about the banners we held out for them & leaned hella close towards the pit & Jin gave a thumbs up to the crowd when he read what it said. They kept saying ARMY was the best & we are their superheros. Again, I think Hobi spoke the most English during his time to talk & he had this little bag w/ his sticker on it & he asked if we wanted it & everyone yelled out YES!!! LOL & he said he was so happy for being there & for having 2 more shows. When it was Jimin’s turn he kept doing random poses when he saw he was on the screen & he thanked us for making their album #1 on Billboard & he did more hearts. Jungkook had this cute head bobbing thing as he listened to us scream & just thanked us again. Jin & his kiss thing AGAIN. He also had 4 mini ARMY Bomb rings on his hand that he was showing off & then Suga stuck his hand near Jin’s face to show off his Suga rings that he’s so proud of. Jin is as much a fan of ARMYs as we are of him. V talked slowly so that he could pronounce everything he wanted to say right & wished everyone to have sweet dreams. Suga looked so happy just looking at the crowd. He talked about a LA Dodgers player LOL & just said thank you. RM had the loudest screams during his final ment & he was flustered with the response. & the boys kept hyping him up & Jimin & V messed w/ his face & he had to quiet us down so he could say what he wanted. He talked about back in 2014 when V, Jungkook, & Jimin were handing out invitations to random people on the street to come to their show & KCON at Staples when they were only guests but now they’re here for their own show for 4 days cause of ARMY. Then they had their actual final song Answer: Love Myself & they kept waving their ARMY Bombs around so we could follow them. Then they each walked back towards the main stage & took their final bow. 

This was soooo long. I didn’t expect to go the concert at all & gave up on trying to go months ago. But I guess I’m hella lucky. This just made me love them so much more & I wish I could go to another concert day or just another concert in general. I feel like I didn’t spend that much attention on Suga & Jungkook & I REGRET IT SO MUCH BUT I LOVE ALL OF THEM BTS I LOVE YOU 💜

[yvvaine]

I used to ship j0nerys until s7 happened then it all ended the moment jon says”I wish you good fourtune in the wars to come” like daaamm boi that was colder than the winter winds lol so after rewatching all of the seasons I got to s6 again&i was like wtf how did I miss jonsa then I checked out both tags&I was so intrigued by the depth of all the jonsa metas all the signs I missed in the show&books(good j0nerys metas are nonexistent)I have to be anon as I fear the J/D ignorance I will receive lol

The whole season was off tbh. I mean the intro b/w the two wasnt toooo bad (they couldve set it up friends to enemies to lovers trope) but everything after that was so go damn cringe worthy

and its little things like that!!! I mean they know how to do romance (and romance in a short time frame; Talisa and Robb anyone???) Plus, the only time that specific line is said like that in the show (theres between ned and arthur, mance and baratheon) is between two enemies (and one ends up dying by the hands of the other too) like how is that not forshadowing????? the fact that he always looks constipated around her, fidgity, wanting to BLATANLY gtfo, never opens up to her (though she tries to open up to him i guess? I see her crush on him, emilia’s eyes are very expressive that way, but d e f not both ways) no real smiles, bonding, jokes, talks, passion (boatfail lmao) a good first kiss, literally anything that makes a romance, well romantic

plus, personality wise, theyre not compatiable at ALL. as danys journey goes on, she’s slowly morphing into everything she never wanted to be. blinded by power (that isnt even hers for the taking). If she had a good heart why didnt she just go to help  w the night king (who is a direct threat to people she SAYS she wants to rule and has the best intent for) and deal with all the political stuff after? Cersei would still be there. When Jon had first arrived, she’d still have her alliances to go back to. Plus when he first came she hadnt gained any territory yet either. Why did she say shed only help if he agreed to her demand of subservience??? from a strictly strategical point of view, thats kinda dumb. its comeplely uneccasary from him to bend the knee for her to help. she wouldnt lose anything. in fact, if anything PR wise that wouldve been a great move for, to elimate the threat to literally everyones entire existance, claim victory in the name of westeros as the HERO of westeros, not the foreign conqoureror, and position her self as the champion of the people (compared to cersei) in the name of the people. making bending the knee a requirement for her to help was extremely unnecessary and in the end detrimental. I mean now she has nothing to go to the north in her favor for. If she went before that she’d be the benevalant queen coming to help their king bc she cared about people, and after they were triumphant he could bend the knee and i doubt anyone would complain too much once they saw that she went into the fight w/o ulterior motives etc

And anyways, how is a one sided, psuedo-subserviant relationship not toxic? How is that a relationship to look up to? What kind of role model relationship is that? a freaking bad one I dear say 

and yes, the lack of metas always astounded me, even when i shipped them. I mean liked them originally bc of all the “parallels” and stuff but the more i analyzed them, it became clear that they were f o i l s, not parrallels.

 I actually stumbled on jonsa by accident. As i slowly became to like Dany’s complex character not as an anti-hero figure, but as the “villian of the other side” or the accidental villian trope, it was around the time i was appreciating sansa more and more. She’s vastly underrated and underestimated both in the show and by fans outside of it, capable and smart. 

The thing that struck me most out of s7 was the spoils of war episode, which focused heavily, as a minor detail, on food. At first Daenerys was complaining that she had nothing to feed her extremely large army, that Cersei was already mobolizing all the food in the reach for her own favor. Then we have cersei bragging how she’s taking all the food, basically to fortify the capital and also making it so Dany wouldnt have any, that she could starve them out so to speak. Then we have Sansa, orginizing a way that she could insure the houses under her control had enough food for themselves, but also asking them to send a fair amount to her, so when things hit the fan, these houses and the pople of the north could flee to winterfell, the largest and strongest northern base, and they’d have enough food to feed everyone already living there plus the influx of refugees despite the extremely harsh winter approaching. Then of course, we have Dany’s feild of fire 2.0 where she first went after the soldiers, then deliberately targeting the food meant to feed the people of westeros during the winter (and the food she jsut complained about needing), then back to the soldiers. 

Out of all the potential queens, I made my choice there. 

Jonsa snuck up on me. I so much loved their relationship in s6, it was so beautiful, the bonding, the reunion, the support of one other. I liked that they argued over legitimate differences, before settling on a choice. I read a few jonsa metas then, and at that point i was pretty much okay with either option, but once s7 came i completly and fully jumped ship so to speak. I re analyzed my take on dany, my opinion on jon’s characterization, and reaffirmed my love for sansa. I read more jonsa metas and coupled with such a warm fandom that jonsa has (we can actually debate diff point of views respectfully for one, we support each other for two - kinda like jon and sansa’s relationship lmao) alas was hooked!

Im sorry for the fear of coming off anon :/ for a while I kept my mouth shut too, and when i finally went more public I got some similar treatment so I entirely understand