#I WANNA MAKE THAT VERY CLEAR WHEN I SAY THAT .

[floipenstein]

Ok I had a bunch more thoughts about this than I thought I would, and I really needed to exorcise them from my brain if this essay is gonna go on my blog. Basically, Executive Dysfunction is real, and the part of the essay I have a problem with is the implication that it's not.

Read more if you wanna read my whole hastily-written fucking rant though (not blaming you if you don't honestly).

Alright, I think this essay is great and actually describes ADHD in a very accurate way. Like this essay is totally worth a read to understand ADHD better. This person has a very good understanding of ADHD. It makes me want to pursue body doubling as a thing instead of just thinking about how it might help me. HOWEVER this is also not to say that body doubling would solve all ADHD problems. This essay is like, ALMOST actually invalidating a bunch of stuff about ADHD at the same time that it's trying to defend ADHD and explain it.

The essay does kind of address this though. It says that ADHD is a real neurotype, which is great, because it is. It points out that meds genuinely help many ADHDers. Which they do, like myself. Without meds I'm like some kind of slug. With meds, I actually have a hope of getting myself to do things, and I can actually put my thoughts together the way I want. They make me feel more like me.

I agree with some parts of what the essay is saying about how society causes a lot of problems that ADHDers have. Like people really do ingrain an individualistic mindset. A lot of people seem to think you should just be able to do stuff on your own. I've also been surprised at how many people think you shouldn't feel rewarded for doing something basic even if it was really difficult for you, which I think is in the same vein of that individualistic idea.

But I think the essay kind of also invalidates a lot of things that I would definitely struggle with even if society were very different. I think my biggest problem is with the paragraph that talks about the duality of ADHD things. "ADHDers lack focus, except for when they don't" etc. Like, all of the things in that paragraph are things that I struggle with, and they are all real, and not just real because society doesn't accommodate me enough or because clinicians see me a certain way.

Both lack of focus AND hyperfocus can and do fuck me over all the time. Without my meds, I AM emotionally volatile AND spacey. Too much for ME! Like I don't enjoy the experience! It's not just that society doesn't accept me a certain way, or that I take meds just to fit into society better. It's that ADHD symptoms fucking suck in their own right! Even if I have the day off, no responsibilities in sight, give me my fucking meds man, I want to fucking think straight.

I do also think that Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is real. And not something caused by the way that society treats us our whole lives. And also not something that everyone goes through. That is the kind of invalidation that I don't like about this essay. Like, executive dysfunction is real, and worth identifying. This essay is so callous against the clinical definitions of ADHD that it kind of points the gun back at the victims imo.

Executive dysfunction is real and worth identifying. Like I said, this essay is great in a lot of ways. Body doubling is tits and I want to more seriously pursue it after reading this, because it will probably help me a lot. But if I want this thing on my blog, I have to make clear what parts I endorse and what parts I don't.

I think anything else I could say would basically be me rambling instead of exorcising thoughts. There. RANT OVER.

Despite how popular and effective body doubling appears to be, empirical research has not tested it as an intervention for people with ADHD at all. It’s a shockingly simple way to address a variety of problems, from a child struggling to complete his homework, to a grown adult who can’t tackle the massive pile of used clothes on her couch. Doctors prescribe stimulants to ADHDers facing “executive functioning” difficulties like these all the time. Yet no clinician has ever examined whether prescribing a body double would be an effective treatment — despite the fact that anecdotally, it addresses the problem more directly than meds do, and it doesn’t come with the risk of building up a physical tolerance or any unwanted side-effects.  To understand why body doubling is so neglected by professionals, we have to look at the flawed way that psychiatry and psychology conceptualizes the ADHDer’s experience. Professionals largely view ADHD as a disorder of motivation and attention, a disability located inside the mind that must be solved on a solely individual level. This framing makes it impossible to understand the ADHDer as a unique, neurodivergent social being interacting with a broader cultural and economic context.  Every feature of ADHD, as it is clinically described, is one of pathology and lack. ADHDers are “time blind”: they don’t have an instinct for what hour of the day it is, or how long a task takes. Nevermind that humans have relied upon time-keeping technologies for as far back as recorded history goes, suggesting that none of us approach time by instinct.  ADHDers lack focus, except for when they don’t, in which case they’re suffering from hyperfocus, and that’s actually a problem too. ADHDers are emotionally volatile — but they’re also too spacy. They dissociate from reality too much, but when they take steps to address this, they are guilty of needing too much stimulation and being too active. And they’re lazy — except for when they’re staying up very late at night working, being most productive during the hours society tells them they ought to be asleep.  If the many complex features of Autism can be best summed up by saying that we have a bottom-up processing style in a world built for top-down processors, then the best way to summarize ADHD is this: people with ADHD are highly socially motivated, but they live in a world where independence is prioritized. 

Read the rest of this essay for free on my Substack!

[pixiexdusts-world]

Meet the Heffley’s

Rodrick Heffley x reader

Summary: Rodrick’s girlfriend meets his chaotic family, and Manny tries to steal her. She loves it anyway.

Word count: 1010

Notes: this is very random but I love Rodrick so I needed to write something

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Title: Meet the Heffleys

Meeting your boyfriend’s family is supposed to be a big deal, right? Like, one of those moments where you dress nice, bring flowers or something, and sit down for an awkwardly polite dinner while his parents judge you.

Yeah. That’s not how things work with Rodrick Heffley.

When he invited me over for dinner, it was more like, “Hey, my mom said you should come over and eat with us or whatever.” Super romantic. But I agreed because, well… I wanted to meet them. Rodrick talks about his family all the time, mostly to complain, but still. I was curious.

So, here I am, standing on the Heffleys’ front porch, wondering if I should have brought something. Probably not. This doesn’t seem like the kind of house where formal dinner etiquette exists.

Before I can knock, the door swings open, and there he is.

Rodrick smirks, leaning against the doorframe like he’s so cool. “Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up.”

I roll my eyes, stepping closer. “I’m on time.”

“Yeah, well, you were supposed to be, like, ten minutes late so I could say something sarcastic about it.”

I laugh and kiss his cheek, just to make him flustered. It works. His smirk falters for half a second before he clears his throat and steps aside. “Alright, come in before my mom starts thinking I made you up.”

The inside of the house is exactly what I expected. A little messy, with random shoes lying around, a stack of newspapers no one’s bothered to throw away, and a distinct family chaos vibe. The smell of dinner cooking comes from the kitchen, something warm and homey.

And then I hear it.

“Rodrick! She’s here?!”

Before I can react, a woman appears—short, blonde, and way too excited. I barely have time to brace myself before she pulls me into a hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! I’m Susan, Rodrick’s mom. Oh, you’re even prettier than I imagined!”

“Uh, thanks,” I manage, shooting a look at Rodrick, who just shrugs like, Yeah, this is happening.

His mom pulls back, holding me at arm’s length. “Rodrick never tells us anything about his personal life. You should’ve seen my face when he said he had a girlfriend. I almost dropped my coffee!”

Rodrick groans. “Mom.”

“What?” She waves him off. “I’m just happy to meet her. Oh, come in, come in! We’re just about to set the table.”

I follow her into the dining room, where a younger boy sits at the table, flipping through a comic book. He glances up, eyes narrowing slightly.

“You’re Rodrick’s girlfriend?”

“Greg,” Susan scolds. “Be nice.”

“What? I’m just saying.” Greg shrugs, then looks at me. “You do know he’s, like, the worst, right?”

“Hey, shut up, loser,” Rodrick snaps, dropping into a chair.

I grin. “Oh, I know.”

Greg blinks, clearly not expecting that. Then he mutters, “Huh. Okay.”

That’s when I feel a tiny hand grab mine.

I glance down to see a little kid—Manny, I recognize him from Rodrick’s rare stories about him—staring up at me with big eyes.

“I have a girlfriend too,” he announces proudly.

Susan gasps. “Manny! Since when?”

“Since yesterday,” he says, like it’s obvious. Then he looks back up at me and asks, completely serious, “Do you like dinosaurs?”

I nod. “Who doesn’t like dinosaurs?”

Manny grins, clearly satisfied with my answer. “Okay. You’re my second girlfriend now.”

Rodrick groans. “Oh my God.”

Greg snickers. “Dude, you already have competition.”

Manny tugs at my sleeve again. “Rodrick is gross. Do you wanna be just my girlfriend instead?”

Rodrick drops his fork. “Are you kidding me? Mom, tell him he can’t steal my girlfriend!”

Susan barely holds back a laugh. “Manny, sweetie, she’s Rodrick’s girlfriend.”

Manny huffs. “Fine.”

This is amazing.

Dinner is… interesting. The food is good—spaghetti and garlic bread—but the conversation is pure chaos. Susan keeps asking me questions about school, my family, my plans for the future (Rodrick groans at that one). Greg watches me like he’s trying to figure out why I’d willingly date his brother. And Manny? He spends the whole meal making dramatic faces at Rodrick and occasionally whispering, “Rodrick is a doo-doo head.”

Rodrick spends most of the meal making sarcastic comments and kicking me under the table whenever his mom gets too nosy.

At one point, their dad, Frank, comes in late, looking exhausted. He gives me a polite nod, sits down, and immediately starts ranting about something Rodrick did last week. Rodrick barely reacts, just shoveling food into his mouth while his mom scolds him and Greg smirks like he enjoys watching his brother get in trouble.

It’s loud. It’s messy. It’s so different from my own family’s quiet dinners.

And I kind of love it.

After we eat, Rodrick grabs my hand and tugs me toward the stairs. “Alright, we’re done here. Bye.”

“Rodrick, wait—” Susan starts, but he’s already leading me to his room.

The second he shuts the door, he groans. “I told you my family was annoying.”

I flop onto his bed, laughing. “I like them.”

He gives me a look. “You like them?”

“Yeah. Your mom is sweet, Greg is funny, and Manny… well, he’s trying to steal me, but other than that, he’s adorable.”

Rodrick snorts. “I knew that kid was trouble.”

I smile and lean in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Not worried, are you?”

He grumbles something under his breath, but I can tell he’s relieved. And maybe even a little happy.

Yeah. I think I’m gonna like being around the Heffleys.

[skeletonh0e]

Fuck it

Fresh Sans x Reader (SFW AND NSFW cuz I'm not a coward)

Literally everyone in the multiverse is going to judge you from a mile away

"Really? HIM???"

Yes. Him.

The strange thing about dating him though is that at first glance it's hard for people to tell if you two are like actually dating or if you two are just really good friends

Because given how Fresh reacts around everyone else it's actually hard to tell

He's touchy, he does kiss you just randomly on occasion, he's generally friendly and supportive but it makes it a bit hard to tell who he's into someone or just....

Being himself

You normally have to explicitly state that he's your boyfriend for others to kind of get it

Or Fresh says it, normally basically akin to "ayo yo yo! it's 8 o'clock me and my boo are supposed to watch all of fresh prince of bel air together! gotta scram!"

And yes, you are the boo in question

His pet names are normally again no different from what he calls others "bro, bruh, dude, homie" (yes he treats all these terms as gender neutral) but you do get the more actually romantic ones like "my boo" or "baby" if he's in a genuinely sweet mood

I will say he only has a vague sense of what he's doing, make no mistake if you managed to befriend him then pursue a romantic type of relationship with him, he trusts you completely and makes that abundantly clear. However he struggles with most emotions in general soooooo

Kind of just repeats things he sees on TV and goes off vibes

Dates are usually extremely cheesy as a result and painfully over the top, often done with his own twist about things. Think hiring a band to play you a song over a moon lit night dinner but the song is all start and the food is like chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese

Surprisingly also gives you a lot of gifts

Sometimes it's things you actually like and would expect from a romantic partner, other times it's just like gag gifts or something random he found that he thought you'd appreciate like pretty rocks, a jar of goo, or something you're pretty sure was an organ at one point (you don't know you don't ask)

One time proposed to you with a ring pop cuz he was told this was something people in relationships do

You still have the ring to this day ofc he got you the best of the best it never ends, never goes bad and you just have to clean it if it ever gets dirty

Also you basically have a free multi universal traveling service here, say the word and he'll take you anywhere. Hell, you don't even gotta say anything sometime he'll just pick you up and take you on an adventure

Which yes it doesn't matter how small or tall you are he will just randomly pick you up, the only difference is the way he does it as it can range from lifting you up above his head or tucking you under his shoulder

On a more serious note since he's not the most aware person about feelings and relationships you'll have to be painfully blind when communicating your feelings

Speaking of he's kind of shit at comforting you

He'll try, willing to hug and go "let it all out broski" but doesn't really know what to say

Especially if he's the reason your upset

Fresh: "bby who hurt you i will karate chop them so hard!"

Y/N: "It was you dumbass!"

Fresh: "....."

Fresh: *process to karate chop himself*

I wouldn't say he's super protective or even all that jealous for that matter, but he doesn't like people messing with you and he especially doesn't like people hurting you

So he's never afraid to intervene

Will just poof into existence between you and someone you were talking to while sounding off the worlds loudest airhorn

No one would call Fresh pure evil but uh, he definitely has some questionable morals. You may have to reign him here or there

Unless you wanna encourage that side of him ya know what they say YOLO baby

Definitely the type of partner to just annoy you like "you've gone too long without paying attention to me so I'm just gonna lay on top of you now"

He's very touchy with everyone in general but especially the case with you

Fairly big on PDA as a result which leads to the afterforementioned confusion with others not knowing how legit this attraction actually it

Hope you're ready to receive a lot of goofy ass text and very silly memes

Literally sliding into ur dms 24/7 and you cannot get rid of him

He wuuuuves you ❤️🧡💚💛💙💜

NSFW (BELOW THE CUT MINORS LOOK AWAY)

Does not know what sex is

Man is definitely asexual, it's a bit unclear where he falls specifically on the spectrum and trying to get him to pick a label is hard. However he's never had urges and certainly never had any reason to get into it

Until now at least

But you will have to explain it otherwise the moment you attempt something he's gonna be CONFUSED

And explain in detail cause he's gonna have questions

A lot of questions

And he still doesn't one hundred percent get it, but he's not disgusted by it and while he might feel little to no sexual arousal

He does like making you happy

He has the ability to make whatever junk you want, so it's basically build a bear

It's still Fresh though get ready for him goofy ass to just keep yapping

Very vocal especially when he turns you into a quivering moaning mess

While he can make his own gentials his favorite thing to do is give head or really just use his hands, the latter allows him to keep talking. And with thus man's extreme stamina he can do it for hours so again you'll have to make it VERY clear when too much is too much

Also an aspect he kind of gets into is lingerie, but I think he just likes you seeing you in pretty outfits and enjoyed skin to skin (skin to bone) contact a lot

Naturally expects for the focus to be on you and him to top especially since he all but outright confirms he's in this for YOU not for him

If you try and turn the tables on him he will be an EXTREMELY whiney and needy bottom especially if you tease him

Be warned too much teasing and he'll flip the roles back with a VENGEANCE

On a more serious note, definitely will have to ease him into extreme kinks not only because everything is new to him but he might also take it overboard

He is genuinely trying though so be easy on him

[doppel-doodles]

Thoughts and feelings on Poppy: Small analysis.

Didn't think I would make another one of these anytime soon buuuuut looks like my brain had different plans, so let's dicuss the knock-off Chucky shall we?

While by no means her biggest fan I feel like Poppy actions deserve a bit more civil discussion than hate. (That's not to say that you shouldn't hate on her. You should, it's hilarious.)

While not a good person by any stretch of the imagination, I genuinely think Poppy kinda has a point with her ambition to blow everything up.

Like- rationally that is the objectively the better choice to bury everything because be for real with me: These toys are not safe and neither is the world outside the factory.

There is a higher chance of them being locked up for research or being shot on sight than there is of anyone actually trying to integrate them into society, and even if someone did there is also a very likely scenario of any stress Inducing situation causing a toy to feel threatened and go into fight mode, which how you get a dead guy on the floor.

And even if they lived in hiding instead, exactly how different would that be from living in the factory? Now instead having to worry about murder toys they also have stuff like: weather,wild animals and of course humans-

So an ideal solution would be to bury it all, let the victims finally rest in peace, make these horrors public and never repeat this mistake again.

Of course there is the fact that these are not objects or mindless monsters, they are all still people with very real human emotions and thoughts who have shown themselves to be capable of being peaceful when feeling safe.

But even in an ideal world I doubt that there wouldn't be any incidents considering that anyone currently alive in the factory is or was at one point a murderer.

Where Poppy lost me is the part where she made it abundantly clear that SHE would get to live, not because it was a necessary step, no,no she just didn't wanna die. If YOU make the decision to sink the ship then you better be ready to go down with it captain.

She is part of this, a part of the horrors. They will live on with her just like they would with ANY other living toy she does not get a pass just because she is tall enough to be kicked around like a football, if Bobby bearhug overhere was able to maul me to death then so can she-

It's honestly just a dick move on her part and a massive "fuck you" to everyone else as it implies that she somehow is special or deserves to live more instead of them when she is no different than the others, but their sacrifice insures her survival.

That is why we side with Doey outside the game.

But-

A point people tend to brush aside is that she isn't just looking out for her own survival, the plan is that we,kissy and poppy are going to rescue the orphans sleeping in the factory but like, how do we know they are actually alive?

Even if we take Poppy at her word(which we shouldn’t as she is an unreliable narrator) that they weren't killed during the hour of joy and actually were put into a coma, that was years ago.

Once you think about the likelihood of that still being the case you start to see all the holes in that statement.

You tell me a bunch of children put into a medically induced coma for YEARS are still alive and well under the care of an insane monster in a factory that's falling apart?

If that's the case I want the prototype as my actual doctor he probably has already found a way to keep me young and healthy forever.

If 2+2=4

Stay with me here.

Then I ain't gotta be a genius to know this shit don't add up-

Like Poppy is also not dumb, I think she would’ve at least considered that possibility right?

Or maybe she didn’t.

Because she didn’t want to consider that scenario.

Poppy is a very flawed character: A coward,selfish and very headstrong in her plans. She’ll figure out how to get her way whether you like it or not and she tends to not pay the feelings of others not much mind, focusing on the bigger picture.

But she is far from the worst person here, she is a victim in all of this but that doesn’t mean she is incapable of being bad either.

Those flaws mentioned above as well as her fear to get locked up again or worse drive a lot of her actions in game and clearly she has ulterior motives.

I find her fascinating, similar to kevin she is not the perfect victim so I get the vibe that the fandom is way harsher to judge her.

People also don't simp for her like they do for the doctor and completely disregard all of his actions but I digress-

Anyway thanks for joining me fellas that's all I'm gonna say for now.

[jxnisnotfunny]

i wanna corroborate with @egg-emperor's tags rq

ofc not that i've seen this cus i'm not on twitter anymore, but still

lemme be clear: as much as julian probably doesn't like hearing it (believe me, i like julian, so i don't mean this in a personal way), mike pollock is NOT a morally upstanding person. he's shown his true colors many many times over the past couple years alone, perhaps even longer ago than that, and it's 100% understandable why fewer and fewer people like him anymore. HOWEVER... despite his continued reprising of the role of dr. eggman, pollock should NOT be made synonymous with dr. eggman. other people have voiced him in the past, and other people can (and at this rate, probably, hopefully will) voice him in the future. pollock is NOT eggman just because he's voiced him for years. there's no need for anyone to start discourse with julian just because he's diehard horny for eggman and everything about him.

besides, truthfully, as much as i don't respect him anymore, it's not a detraction of pollock's talent. he's still good at what he does no matter what he does or how we feel about him, and there's not much anyone can do about that. same goes for my opinion of sean chiplock, who voices kinger in the amazing digital circus. from the allegations against him... yea no i don't like him. but his performance in episode 3 was, honestly, phenomenal. i loved it. and that's fine!

i don't skimp details: it's absolutely younger, more inexperienced, stubborn people who are trying to define "social justice" on twitter, but all it ends up being is policing without a goal, because they don't understand what to direct hate at and what not to. they're wasting their time and energy, yet are also too lazy to do any proper research on the topics that deserve attention.

-------------------------

not fandom-related, but quick ramble

i say this especially given the rightful disdain against usage of generative ai, in part or in full, in art (i.e., art theft, replacing human artists, and heavy energy usage). i've seen COUNTLESS times - not even just on twitter but on bluesky as well, and heaven knows i love bluesky, but some people there are still culpable - where people have jumped the gun at the mere mention of... not even just gen-ai, but ai as a whole. immediately sounding the alarms, fearmongering left, right and center, calling for protests and boycotts... without looking at any of the details.

some ai CAN be used as tools to help artists make their jobs easier. it's just gen-ai that's really a big issue, since some average people are using it to replace learning to draw, and ESPECIALLY since big corporations are starting to get their slimy hands on it instead of giving jobs to real people qualified for acting, editing, or motion graphics, just to save money they don't need to save. but some people refuse to understand that or look into it, and thus we're stuck having to hear buffoons fume about things that don't matter.

i still remember very vividly when youtube rolled out an option to allow videos you upload to be used for gen-ai, but they clarified in the linked support article that it was disabled by default because it's against youtube TOS to enable it by default. however, some people just. didn't read it. outright. and that day i saw someone hollering at bluesky to take action even tho there was no action to be taken. only reason i knew this post existed is cus one of my friends reposted it, having also not also read the support article, and i immediately frowned in real life.

I really feel like people forget that fandom is a fun hobby and not some sort of like, activist group.

Like, one of my hobbies is wildlife photography. If I follow a bunch of wildlife photography accounts and it's the only thing I see on my dash, am I in an echo chamber? No, I'm just engaging with my hobby.

It's really not that deep lmao is that person okay

Honestly the growing trend of forcing accountability, activism, virtue signalling and moral hunting in every single space is exhausting and crippling and it will eventually succeed in a massive cull of fandom spaces and creators. It already has, even, we've seen 'purges' of creators and content in certain fandoms and from a majority of websites and in revised policies.

That said, per your example, your internet space is allowed to be curated any way that you want it to. This blog, for example, is vastly different to my other account, where you will not find even a speck of political content. Not even a whiff of discourse. Its all cat pictures and the occasional shameless thirst over a man's thighs and probably an unhealthy amount of astronomy. They are both my spaces, they have just simply been curated very, very differently, and with two different intents.

"Isolated" (by content) spaces are not bad. Even in regards to some "negative" aspects. Some people are very, very set in their ways, and cannot or will not change. In such cases, its simply best to allow them to box themselves into their hate and not have a wider outreach.

[hollow-lime-green]

hi, anon from "t/b discourse is dumb" ask here 👋 this conversation actually is really interesting and i wanna add a little more if thats okay. (how long is the average anon ask? im not new to fandom but i am relatively new to tumblr and its etiquette... so sorry if this is too long. ive done my best to condense it 😭 there's just too much to say and im a rambler)

i hope i didn't come off as blaming anybody for their response to harassment and such, i don't want to contribute to that. my ire is only pointed toward people who make it their business to hurt others over innocuous fandom happenings, those people who leave dickish comments on fics and send anonhate and mass qrt on twitter. but like i said, expecting those kinds of people to go away any time soon is not really something i have hope for at this point. you put it well: people get so emotionally invested --- and i too Love getting emotionally invested when it comes to fiction --- that logic stops being a factor. people all over the internet also tend to struggle with simply disliking something and leaving it there. you're allowed to dislike/disagree with something without turning it into a moral failure when it's all down to preference and the characters involved are not Real

i just wish more people saw the value in Healthy™ discourse. hell, even if someone's opinion ticks you off, that doesn't mean you can't engage in an open minded discussion with them, if you want to. but people can't do that even outside of niche online fanbases.

i would love to share my own opinions on t/b dynamics for satosugu and to learn why others may feel differently. actually, stsg is the first yaoi ship ive been this invested in, though it's been a while now, and reading fics for them has opened up a Lot of doors of thought for me that i wanna talk to someone about. but there's such hostility around the topic that opening that discussion up to the general fandom public hardly feels worth the risk, as much as i want to. that kinda leaves one floating out at sea here. so i have these conversations where i can, but i'll also block people over simple things. not because i think they're evil or their opinions are invalid, but because i really do just want to have fun, and previous fandom experiences have exhausted me with how much of the same repetitive venom i can personally handle at once

welcome back anon, and feel free to ramble away. honestly this has been a nice side quest for me during the thesis-ing, believe it or not.

if you want to have discussions/share takes on stsg (or fandom meta), then feel free to keep sending them anon, and i am happy to host that discussion in our friendly little corner. i haven't gotten anything nasty in my inbox, and i think everyone commenting and engaging with the posts on my blog is pretty friendly and level headed :)

i think it's possible that some people could get offended by your previous ask? but it's very obvious, to me, anyway, that what you are saying with "t/b discourse is dumb" is "this drama is dumb why are we doing this why can't we just have fun". you can twist the words, but that's the clear sentiment that I think 99% of us are trying to get across here.

and that also does not conflict with empathizing with and supporting people who have been targeted by this harassment. in fact, i would say out of anyone, they are probably most securely in the camp of "this drama is dumb please let's stop".

as @fushiglow pointed out, part of the reason fandom can get so vicious is due to depersonalization. none of these people would be acting so fuckin foolish in person. but across the screen, it is a lot safer and easier to be an absolute asshole than when you have to look someone in the face as you tell them that they are literal scum for your opinions on dick in ass, or something.

over the past few months i have been struggling with this in reverse, actually. one of my gaming group members almost definitely voted for trump (white women... we need to talk). i get so worked up when i think about it, because i hate her for it, especially her reasons for it (she is antichoice). and yet, when I see her in person, when we hang out, it is so easy to remember that she is my friend and she held my hair back when I was puking after my other gamer friends gave me too many free beers (blue moon isn't worth it guys).

one other thing i would like to add, and part of why i'm so happy to post this ask, is that conversations are not sentences. you get to clarify. you get to add. you get to change your mind. real 'discourse' (note: this word has lost all meaning in the year of our lord 2025) or debate is an exchange of ideas, whether it's about dick in ass or how we react socially in the situation of being attacked for dick in ass. keeping the conversation going to clarify these things, like your intent with the last ask, is important and necessary! it's what keeps us from being xitter/bluesky. we don't need to live as zingers and soundbytes on a text-based forum. we have the space to express ourselves fully, as many times as that takes. and i think that helps build back the empathy that is lost with the lack of face-to-face, voice-to-voice communication in online spaces.

so in the words of the great philosophers re: t/b discourse:

any hole's a goal

[pruneunfair]

When you have a shitty sibling. *TW: talk of abuse and rape*

This is a little different than what I usually post.

Not too long ago, I made a vent post that was mostly pretty vague but got the central point across, it's deleted now but not like it matters since it was just mindless ranting.

That vent post was dedicated mostly to my younger brother.

For all the people with siblings out there, we already know those corny depictions of brothers and sisters always getting along and calling each other "Big bro" was not the most accurate form of a sibling relationship. Naturally you fight a lot with this person considering they are a built in room mate, meaning you have to live with someone including their worst habits. Maybe they plop a plate into the sink right as you're done doing dishes, maybe they take your things without bothering to ask you, those are all normal things to expect out of a sibling. What doesn't feel normal is when they reach this level of behavior.

My brother who I'll refer to as B relatively liked to get on peoples nerves but other than that, he wasn't so bad to be around up until recently. It was little things at first, leaving his garbage behind in the living room, making a fuss if we asked him to do anything, and then it got progressively worse.

Skipping school for 3 months straight, running away from home to god knows what, bringing strange people home, vaping and taking substances, increasing levels of disrespect towards women, seemed to assume that if a person who happened to be female wasn't punished along side him meant that they were being bias toward her for being a girl, calling our own disabled mother lazy for being unable to work, expecting everyone to cater towards him and pick up his slack, actively call me and our mom a bitch/cunt, pretending that he's going to hit me to see me flinch, gaslighting us, severe lack of empathy, casually admitting to want to hit me and other people that make him mad, refusal to listen or admit when he's wrong.

B has changed this much in only the span of a year. The lack of empathy and over eagerness to have an excuse to threaten someone is honestly scaring me.

Lately I started to take on the role of tidying up around the house and cooking dinner. My mom as I mentioned is mentally disabled, she can still perform tasks herself and still is juggling around two households of the family, I don't wanna to get too into it but I'll just say that she needs to take a myriad of medication to help regulate her mind or else she could kill herself. Her mental health has declined in recent years to the point where she can't keep a job and she does need help more than ever.

Now I do not mind this at all, mom is still a very considerate woman who appreciates the help I do and still makes an effort to keep things easy, it's also a good way for me to learn independence and take care of myself. The problem is that I have to live with B for a brother and he likes to bring his gang of friends over for small house parties that I usually am in charge of when mom is away. The house is always left a mess as a result and I have to pick it up since B likes to weaponize his incompetence to escape responsibility, I have to pick up every piece of crap they leave behind and sweep up old crumbs off the floor only for those same kids to come back, destroy the house again, leave me to clean it up because B knows that if I don't, all he needs to do is continue weaponizing his incompetence until our mom snaps and has me clean it for him.

There is no compromising with him, B has made it clear that if he says "Nope" then we have to suck it up because he can always just run away to our dad or claim that we are just acting crazy. I can't even get some basic respect from him for being the maid for him and his friends bullshit.

Now this all wouldn't be so scary if I didn't know he had no empathy but he clearly doesn't. How do I know?

Well, I'll leave a pretty simple background: Mom kept telling dad to stop, Dad coerced mom that it would be fine and he lied about wearing a condom. 9 months later I was born.

This is very sensitive knowledge that we do not talk about at all, hell B and I weren't even supposed to know I was both a rape and a baby trap kid, I can't exactly remember why but mom mentioned it on a bad day that I now know was likely an episode.

And during an argument, B told our mother, the woman who was willing to stay with our father just so she can at least have a planned child in the name of B, that she should have taken some birth control before she "had sex" with our dad. That boy KNOWS that was one thing mom never wanted to remember, even when we reminded him WHY we don't talk about that, he didn't care, what mattered was that he got the point of him hating me across.

So yeah, I'm officially terrified of the same person who I used to know as an itty bitty baby sleeping in the crib next to my bed.

I know I am not the only one dealing with this shit, plenty of people do and it's shitty that you have to walk on egg shells around someone you knew when they were still innocent, a little baby turning into a monster with no interest in being better as a person, only in being right at all times. For anyone who has a shitty brother or sister reading this, I am so sorry that you have to live in fear of someone you called family but you are not alone, if you believe you might be in danger even, please tell someone, anyone at all, whenever it's a social worker at school, a cop, or even just a few people you trust. You don't deserve to believe you are worse then dirt just because you had to step up and pick up the slack around your household.

Thank you for listening.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Here's the thing I don't disagree, but I don't agree. I'm in the middle. (this wasn't a rant at you I just think that you make a good point and I've been meaning to say this all the love to you)

But here's the thing I feel like in order to agree with the DC stands for disregard Canon. You need to read the comics like you need to learn the rules to break them.

However, I'm not gonna bash someone if they're not like Super hundred percent well read because sometimes the comics can be a little complicated. Now if you wanna write a fanfiction specifically for Wayne adventures just tag it properly use that fandom specifically. Tag it Wayne family adventures instead of Batman all media types or what have you or maybe do like a disclaimer.

But also there's so much source material. You can read one run where Bruce is a decent parent you can read another one where it's fuck Bruce Wanye.

Now do I think a part of the reason I agree with this so strongly, is because I've been in so many different fandom over the years and honestly, this is one of the few ones where I see people really not interact with the cannon material at all.

I'm still heavily in the Merlin fandom and The Supernatural fandom and I have never seen it so popular to completely not familiarize yourself with the actual canon source.

But I feel like it's not my job to police but also I kind of get it.

I feel like it's one thing to on purpose decide to change the characterization of a character versus doing it accidentally due to the lack of knowledge about that character.

But many people try and I feel like not all the comics suck but not all the comics are good.

So generally, if you're going to say, I'm writing bruce as a good parent because I've read his comics and I feel like he should be written as a good parent. That's good.

I feel like the actual problem isn't what someone is writing or how they feel about the character. It's that they won't hear other people out or are more likely to just assume. 

But I will always agree that a part of fanfiction inherently is changing the cannon material. There's no point in fanfiction if you're not changing anything at all, why would you write it then but also there are different sides to every fandom. One side is I love these characters. I'm wearing merch. I love the Canon material. Then the other side is where things get changed fanfiction head cannons, etc.. Many people I feel like want to be in one side of the fandom versus the other and that's ok, but you also have to be realistic and realize there's overlap.

But the one thing I do disagree with very strongly is you especially in comics are at some point going to not like a comic run you're gonna find something to not like about it. You can be a fan and not likesomething and that's when fanfiction comes in, if you feel like changing it.

(oh my God this was the longest rant ever. I'm so sorry but I think it's just I've been reading fanfiction and interacting with so many fandoms for so long that I'm just like ok, yeah but.)

There are two sides to a fandom people who like it think it's perfect and are just in love with it. Then people who like it or love it but wanna change something and that's ok just maybe interact more with whichever side you agree with more but don't necessarily hate the overlap. 

But something I've noticed more frequently is people who are only interactive with fandom are making it very obvious very clear very transparent that they have never read the comics and because they're being transparent it's not hurting because they are telling you hey I haven't read it but I like this character in this fandom in this headcannon way, and I think that is very helpful to people who are just kind of getting into it, but I who have read literally hundreds of comics I'm wearing Batman merch I'm not gonna shit on them when I at one point wasn't as well read as I am now.

An important part of any fandom or just being a fan is to help instead of hurt and if you're hurting instead of helping on purpose, you are apart of the problem.

Also factor in for a very long time comics were really geared towards a certain audience and and then more characters were added different demographics got more involved and then people started getting mad so I think it's good to keep that perspective. Please remember 30 years ago. A nerdy guy was more accepted than a nerdy girl.

Which we don't have the time to unpack all of that, but that is something I always keep in mind whenever I kind of shit on the perspective of other readers or other fandom interactions because I don't want to gatekeep others when I have personally felt the effects of people gatekeeping me because of assumptions. 

“DC comics are too complicated, i’m just gonna read fanfics”

“batman comics are too dark, i prefer wayne family adventures”

“#letbrucebeagooddad2k25”

if you don’t like the source material, you are NOT a fan!

[ahollowgrave]

next year i want to take more paladette screenshots and experiment with lighting. i wanna do weird lighting, i want that power.

[licensedproldier]

brennan will really be like "is anyone gonna write six of the most tragic and fucked up teenagers in the whole world and their narrative foils having violent murderous beef with each other in a devastatingly teenage way and then tell their story through a series of unreliable narrators or" and then not wait for an answer.

[dilutedh2so4]

Just wanna add some more sources and my own interpretation if thats alright :D

Interestingly, even in Herodotus, it is stated Paris "gave wings to Helen" which in other translations is rendered as "stirred her to desire"

In earlier tellings, it does seem she was playing an active role. For example, the Iliad where she says she followed Paris, and the Cypria (Proclus' summary)

The framing of Sappho fragment 16 positions Helen as the active party, focusing on Paris being what she found most beautiful

When considering her lines in the Odyssey, I personally take into account the fact she's with her husband and fellow Achaeans so could be trying to distance herself from responsibility. Similarly, in Euripides' Trojan Women, when defending herself under threat of death, Helen again puts blame on Aphrodite/love and says not even Zeus himself can resist her!

Seemingly this implies one would have to excuse Zeus and other men for their doings too, as Hecuba later says "for every folly that men commit, they lay upon this goddess [Aphrodite]"

On a separate note, I love exploring these details of Helen and Zeus' relationship — like in Apollodorus, where a potential reason Zeus started the Trojan war was because he wanted his daughter to be famous! Father of the year... /j

Then, whilst later sources do make it an outright abduction, and even remove the gods, it is also clear Helen desires Paris. See the very late Dictys Cretensis and Dares Phrygius (and Herodotus above for an earlier example)

Question: Did Helen go to Troy with Paris willingly?

It depends on the source really.

Homer gives us a more complicated situation. In it Helen apparently leaves at her own accord with Paris however it is later revealed in the Odyssey that she did so because Aphrodite influenced her judgement. She already speaks with regret on her decision in the Iliad and wonders on her family and husband but in the Odyssey where more or less they have patched things up with Menelaus she says that it was because Aphrodite had her under her spell (Now of course for some people that is also a symbolism of her falling in love since Aphrodite-> Goddess of love so Aphrodite's influence -> love's influence and so Aphrodite made her fall for Paris -> she fell for Paris, but that is up for interpretation. Quite frankly given how the gods are given in a bit more literal sense in the epics as opposed to mythology in general this scenario is not necessarily likely but it is on the table)

Now other sources such as tragic writers (for example Aeschylus and Euripides) that oftentimes write their tragedies implying that Helen truly had an affair but on the other hand for once it is important to take into account that they write from the point of view of other characters for example in Euripides's "Orestes", Electra is cussing the hell out of Helen speaking on her with the worst words which makes sense given how she thought that Helen was indeed cheating her husband as opposed to the play that has Helen as a central role in which even Euripides came up with a story that says Helen never went to Troy in the first place but an idol of hers (this version is retold by Apollodorous in Epitome as well)

Apollodorous mentions how Paris persuaded Helen to follow him in his work "Epitome" so possibly here we have one of the versions in which Helen followed willingly at first. But since Apollodorous gives us many versions and retellings at the same time (as for example Euripides's version) he also mentions the word ἁρπαγή which means "taking" or "abduction" but also seems to be indicating "rape" so Apollodorous gives us many different versions for the event. Herodotus also mentions how Helen was likely abducted. Valerius Catullus in his "Carmina" also agrees.

And so on and so forth. So the majority of sources speak about how Paris carried Helen away to Troy. Now there are versions that speak on Helen being willing but I think the most prominent version is that she was not willing at least not through and through or that she was somehow either persuaded or outsmarted by Paris or by Aphrodite's influence. In general one can choose between the sources which they can place their attention to

[sortingmyideas]

But i would like to warn you that this is an uphill battle. Some asexuals tried to fight the umbrella term while it was still gaining traction and they were largely banned, called gatekeepers, or left in frustration. I don't keep a close eye on the community so maybe things have changed but judging from the amount of "asexuals can still like sex!" still around, i'm not optimistic

I know I'm probably not gonna change anything with my suggestion. I'm certainly not the first and I highly doubt I'll be the last to have this complaint.

I'm mostly hoping that eventually, enough people will have said something that aspecs as a whole will take a proper look at it.

I just want everyone to be happy.

[trans-yllz]

killing my housemate with hammers

[goldentigerfestival]

now like i know a lot of ppl prob loved the english version of the yuri and flynn fight at aurnion bc of the "kick your ass" stuff they made up, but like hear me out

Flynn:

なんだろうこの感じ…！ I wonder what this feeling is...!

Yuri:

なんだっていいだろ、オレは全力でお前にぶつかってく！ Whatever it is, I'm hitting you with all my strength!

Flynn:

それじゃあ…僕も全力で君を倒すっ！ Well then… I'll use all my strength to overwhelm you!

Yuri:

倒せるもんなら倒してみろっ！ If you can beat me, then beat me!

original context abouta turn into an E rated fanfic real quick (they talk very suggestively to each other. take that as you will)

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

is anyone else kinda annoyed how obvious it is the SL game just wants to appeal to a certain cishet male audience because dude. how is it that nearly all the recent hunters added are women, half of whom haven't ever even showed up in the original story?? like, you can make a cool looking dude too you know. you could have another half of the population play your cash grabbing game if you just treated both genders with equal fanservice mindsets