#like their company
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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still thinking about the brainrot that fast fashion has caused in people, like i made this pair of pants that are black and white with a cool flowery design, and an acquaintance saw them and said "wow i'd pay like 20 dollars for you to make me a pair" and i could barely think with how utterly horrified i was at that; i told them that 20 dollars wouldn't even cover the materials, let alone the hours of work that went into cutting, sewing, ironing, hemming, altering, etc. they just had this look on their face when i told them that, when i said i wouldn't make them a pair for even 100 dollars because that was still way too low of an amount, a look that said "you're crazy for thinking that those cost 100 dollars" and maybe i am crazy but holy shit, 20 dollars for a pair of handmade, durable, lined pants fitted specifically to your measurements? 20 dollars for upwards of 60 hours of work? 20 dollars for several yards of high-quality fabric, thread, and buttons? 20 dollars???
#i mean even fast fashion companies charge more than 20 dollars for their shitty sweatshop jeans with exposed seams and standardised sizes#but in this world my acquaintance thought it was appropriate to tell me that my skill and supplies and labour was worth 20 dollars at most#20 dollars is all i'm worth because apparently that is all that my skill and labour and time is worth#like i can't even begin to describe how blindly angry i was at my friend and at the world that made them say that#anyway
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also cannot believe i’m the the emotional distant person who people actively try to keep closer and closer to no avail
#personal#not in a im sexy and cool way just genuine surprise#i don’t know and it shouldn’t be#like the amount of times i was told growing up hey you’re my best friend or i’ve never told this to anyone but i trust you more than anyone#by someone i thought was an acquaintance#i wasn’t even against that connection in therory i just didn’t know we were like that!!!!!!#idk i’m trying to not make it this sound like cut myself on the edge#but it just feels weird bc i’m okay with myself and being by myself but ?#people keep trying to push themselves into my life?#and that sounds awful#i just didn’t concisely realize i play that role in people’s lives#consciously#it doesn’t fit how i saw myself or how i am? ? and it was a weird disconnect#and i’m not being unsociable or outright going against making connections!#like i’m eating daily lunch with some coworkers and changing my parking space so we can walk together!! im changing my routine up bc i#like their company#i made friends at the horror show and am going to this dudes house on tuesday to watch more movies with them#i exchange socials and talk with people at shows when they come up to me#i’m also a bit awkward there and not pursuing much but i’m still Trying?#i don’t know it’s just weird to think for a lot of people i’m just so avoidant and aloof or something#i just feel weird#i think also with my close friends i’m well known for being crazy stupid obsessed with#like it’s a whole Thing. so that vs extremely avoidant i just didn’t recognize it as myself#me? number one dick rider? ??? not. bonderline codependent. okayyyyyyyy
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fun fact about me! I have hyperadrenergic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (hPOTS). this means I am prone to fainting when I change positions or when I feel a strong surge of emotion, positive or negative. for me, laughing is my worst non-postural trigger.
this is a clip from playing lethal company with friends a few months ago. you can hear the eerie silence of presyncope at 0:19, and the sound at 0:23 is my face hitting the keyboard lmao. I played this for my mother and she literally pissed herself laughing and DEMANDED I show every single person I know (including my doctors, who thought it was funny to see and surprisingly helpful, especially for being audio only).
#lethal company#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#hyperadrenergic pots#FOR CONTEXT#we have this silly little goof#where whenever we pick up a flashbang of any kind we ask#hey is this bright to you#it's like playing peekaboo with a baby man it gets em every time#anyways i love being chronically ill#chronicillness#i am sickly and not meant for this earth
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I don't think I'm meant to be employed. It really cuts into my goofy silly haha time. and it makes it nearly impossible to have any wow life is beautiful let me take it in time.
#guess what our employee appreciation gift was. a chair. 100+ dollars on a camping chair for each HQ employee? why not just...#i was just like gee. glad u appreciate me. u ever heard of how companies can shower u with free swag but it doesnt distract from the#horrible culture???#like yes dont give us that 100 dollars but give me an ugly chair with our company logo that i had to lug up a hill.#im just tired of this aspect of HR i think. need me some new scenery
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i cannot stress this enough: if your reasoning for clowning on the mcu is "they overwork their cg artists and animators" i 1000% guarantee that a show or movie you have been stanning for years also abused their artists and you just haven't heard about it because the production companies aren't in the spotlight like mcu productions are. that cartoon for kids? that incredibly animated movie? that non-marvel superhero movie? i've seen people declare their hatred for the way the mcu treats their workers and then turn around and gush about a show that i know for a fact was hell for the artists attached
and no this is NOT me saying "this means you should stop hating on the mcu uwu" it's me saying you gotta be aware that this shit is an INDUSTRY WIDE PROBLEM. you CANNOT "fix" it by refusing to watch mcu movies and feeling good about it. you have to be aware that it's EVERYWHERE. why do you think so many animation and vfx productions are sourced in canada? in india and the phillipines? we are not unionized.
i know it's hard to face the idea that your favourite show might have been made unethically especially when you've spent so much time hating the mcu for doing the same thing. you don't have to start hating your favourite show. just like...be aware. don't be smarmy about it. don't claim without research that a beautifully animated movie Must mean the animators were not working 16 hour days and weekends. i do think we can fix this 👍 but we can't fix it if 90% of us don't even realize what the problem really is
#uhhhh me#with the recession coming up a lot of my coworkers have come out of the woodworks to talk abt their experiences#and i feel like i've been wearing rose tinted glasses abt my company (bc i work here and i like my supervisors!)#i knew ofc that aniamtion studios here aren't always on the up and up but i did Not know how bad it got#and it just! sucks! that whenever ppl online talk abt shitty treatment of artists they're only talking in regards to the mcu
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erm i think something got inside the ship
#lethal company#among us#i think the amogus is like their weird fucked up pet they keep on board#and they feed it scrap bits and locusts 🩷
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lonely
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#lil cal#admin draws#fanart#do you ever think about cal is the only company he had for. a while#it was an empty cal. but i dont know if that makes it worse actually#and then fate just said nope you gotta drop him into the depthy. srry not sorry. fu.#im posting shit so out of order my god. this has been up on twt for like a few days now.#drawing solkats rn so i might post that next regardless of whar else i drew lel
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Opinions on Phillip Graves?
Wtf is a kilometer???
#i like him#he’s interesting#he and soap were such good buddies before he betrayed them#*slaps ass* Buenos dias Soap#call of duty#ghost babygirl#philip graves#johnny soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#cod graves#cod soap#shadow company#call of duty modern warfare#ghostsoap#soapghost#gravesoap#???
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I thought this was so funny I am posting it here too
#i wish every player that told me “the cruiser drives like a real car!” as advice a very nice “i dont have a driving licence”#lethal company#i hate the new outdoors enemy but actually the cruiser is cool#unfortunately i feel like all of the maps are bad for it ha
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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#star wars#media#media literacy#spoiler culture#very curious#saw people mad that a promo EA put out for dragon age 4 spoiled the prologue#and i was like THE PROLOGUE????#Plus the company itself released it#they clearly want you to know about it going in#Anyways I'm usually level 1#but for some things I'm level 2
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bring your unemployed friend to work day
#my art#content warning#lethal company#recently played content warning was like. i need them to meet#sugarflow
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pray for me, I have an incurable illness where very time i see crossover art of Funny Little Dude In Spacesuits games i think "hmm. digivolution stages"
#scribbles#among us#content warning#lethal company#digimon#absorb data by collecting refuse and learning through experience#or just eating the other amongusmon#the latter is easier AND way stronger so like. lmao#i don't even go here#1k
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Part 1 of my modern avatar au, the fire nation
#avatar the last airbender#atla#atla azula#atla zuko#atla mai#atla ty lee#mailee#because they in messy yuri in this au#atla modern au#technically all of them work under ozai's company in some form#azula of course is very close to power zuko is at a lower position than her#mai is under her father's department which is in ozai's company#ty lee is in an idol group sponsored by ozai's company#mai visual kei girlie in her free time duh#zuko also depicted when he finally gets out of ozai's company and works at Iroh's cafe#ive got like a decent amount of lore built up so far around this AU so dont worry sokka katara aang toph and suki have places in this world#also its set on our earth so real life locations not the nations#my art#atla fanart
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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