#like the closest i can think of is back when i was into transformers
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ganondoodle · 7 months ago
Text
it might seem like im just a totk hater, and to be fair, i AM, but its not bc i think its bad in every way- if it was all bad, ok, then its all bad and we can forget it happened and can all accept that-
but totk specifically hit the jackpot of -things that frustrate me so much i cannot let go and need to talk about it-
its part of my current hyperfixation (or whatever is the right word), botw is one of my all time favorite games, and that one had so many mysteries i was DEEPLY invested in, its got great music and some absolutely fanatstic moments, some ideas are great to fine, but it doesnt make sense, i hate time travel like little else in games, it constantly contradicts itself, the franchise, even its previous game its supposed to be a sequel to, i felt like i was made fun of by the game itself, for caring so much about what they had set up or done in botw, the moment i saw what they did to the shrine of life i felt so devasted i could hear people pointing and laughing at me for having cared about it, the writing treating me like i am so brainless i cannot connect dot one and two when there are only two dots in front of me labeld 1 and 2 that it then tells me to connect directly, to my face, multiple times, before showing me how to draw a line, its full, so SO FULL of missed opportunities, its got choices in there that are just nothing but frustrating bc there were a hundred other ones, i can see what you could do wit hthe basic ideas, theres people that worship it to a point you cant say anything even mildly critical, even about objectively bad things (there is no excuse for that godawful arrow menu) bc they will jump at you like a rabid animal-
i could go on but you get the point, never in my life has anything hit me like that
170 notes · View notes
b0r3dtod3ath · 2 months ago
Note
hmmm a oscar request where the reader is a rookie for ferrari this year too in formula one, and maybe the reader is the younger sister of lando, and he has an idea that she’s involved with someone but he hasn’t presssed to find out who, the reader and oscar planned to tell everyone but than oscar got a deal with mclaren so they didn’t want to say anything yet, in japan it’s oscar and reader who get their first podiums together and lando is watching the two from the bottom with his team and he finally notices the looks and smiles between his teamate and little sister and starts thinking back to many times where he saw them interact (you could do like little flashbacks and show little scenes) thinking they were just best friends but realizing it was always more than that, and lando goes and confronts them and he’s not mad but a little hurt his favorite sister didn’t tell them and maybe after oscar and reader both post on insta and hard launch their relationship
Tumblr media
♡ navigation / request info / f1 masterlist
♡ warnings: none.
♡ a/n: thank you for requesting and sorry you had to wait soooo looong!!!
You were always close to your brother. He supported you a lot this season since being a female rookie competing with your brother was taking a toll on you. But in the middle of the season something changed. Lando couldn’t tell exactly what happened but you seemed better - almost happier. He still supported you all the time but now you weren’t attached to his hip. At first he thought you had got used to everything around. Your teammate was one of Lando’s closest friends - Carlos. He knew you were safe. 
But with time Lando couldn’t shake off the feeling that something more serious was going on. The way you were smiling at your phone only to hide it deep inside your bag seconds later and the way you would get defensive anytime someone would ask a question about your love life. Lando was happy that you felt better - you were never seen in the paddock without your new glint in the eye and a soft grin - but he couldn’t get rid of his curiosity. 
Your relationship with Oscar started innocently. You were a rookie, he was a rookie. It was small things at first - a supportive pat on the back after a good session or a shared joke about Lando. Eventually your casual chats became late-night conversations and phone calls only to later transform into wine drunk confessions while sitting on the floor of Oscar’s hotel room. 
The two of you value your privacy. For many reasons you didn’t want your relationship public so the love blossomed behind the closed doors. During race weekends, amongst the chaos, you two always found a moment to be there for each other. The stolen glances, whispers and secret gestures being the testimony of your love. 
He often left flowers for you in your hotel room. Whenever Lando asked about them you replied with “Oh that. That’s from the hotel. It was here when I checked in”. You always took one flower or a few petals to dry and keep as a memory.
Knowing that Lando was observant, Oscar avoided asking too much about his sister and showing too much interest in you. He didn’t avoid you in front of Lando but he made sure not to spill your shared secret. 
It was incredibly frustrating and tiring. Sometimes you just wished you could hug Oscar after a race but instead you had to settle for a subtle nod form across the paddock. 
You and Oscar had a small argument about whether to tell your brother about your relationship. Oscar thought it would be better to tell him but you weren’t so sure. “Seriously? You think we can keep this secret from him any longer? Don’t be ridiculous.” he shook his head. ”The longer we hide it the more pissed off he will be. If the fans catch us before him, he’s gonna kill me, push me off the track or something…” he muttered.
You didn’t know how to respond to that. One side of you wanted your brother to know but on the other side you were scared. Many what ifs flooded your mind while Oscar went on about how he felt like a stupid teenager with all this sneaking around. “But you know how protective Lando is… What if he gets mad? What if it ruins your friendship? You are teammates, what if-” you anxiously went on and on as he was pacing around his room. He interrupts, his voice subtly rising “And what if he understands? What if he says it's fine and doesn’t say anything? You’re his sister! He loves you! I just don’t want to keep lying to him!”. 
You grew annoyed “You think I don’t feel that too? You think I wanna hide all the time? This isn’t easy for me! I have known him all my life, he’s been there for me through everything. I can’t just walk up to him and say ‘Oh yea, by the way, I have been secretly going out with your teammate for the past four months’!” you paused to take a breath “I just need some time”. Oscar huffed at your response “Time for what? For him to find out himself? Listen, I care about you, about us. I don’t wanna hide something so important. I can wait. But it can’t go forever. We’ll figure it out. He deserves to know”. 
“I know, I’m just scared…” you said looking at him. Oscar gently took your hand “I know, but we will figure it out together” he said softly. “Okay, together” you whispered, squeezing his hands.
The atmosphere in Japan was electric. It was a big race, everyone could feel it. Ferrari and Mclaren bought new updates for their cars causing the excitement to rise. The weekend was rainy but the weather didn’t stop you and Oscar from delivering your best performances.
On a Sunday afternoon you found yourself parking your car next to his and immediately getting out to hug him. You didn’t care about people around you - it was your first podium and only that mattered. 
Lando looked up at the podium, seeing his sister and teammate next to each other made his heart swell. Both of you covered in champagne, standing side by side, grinning and laughing like drunk teenagers.
That’s when everything clicked. Lando’s heart skipped a beat as all the little moments flashed before his eyes. The way you had talked in hushed tones in the garage, the playful banter during media days, and countless disappearances. 
During the interviews and post-race debrief Lando found himself lost in thoughts. He would occasionally glance at you or Oscar, trying to wrap his head around it. He wasn’t exactly angry, he was confused and a little hurt. He knew he had to talk to you about it. 
The team was buzzing with excitement, and plans had been made to go clubbing to celebrate. Lando caught up with you in the hotel lobby as everyone was getting ready to head out. “Hey, wait a second” he says the moment he sees you. “Yeah, what’s up?” you ask, unaware of what he knows. “So... you and Oscar, huh?” His whispered tone made shivers run down your spine. You chuckled nervously “What makes you think like that?”. He shrugged, crossing his arms “Well, I don’t know. The way you two have been sneaking off together, the little smiles, the whole ‘pretend we’re just friends’ act. I might be your brother, but I’m not that stupid” he paused, watching your expression. “So, how long?”.
“How long what?” says a voice behind you. You felt weight being lifted from your shoulders when you saw Oscar approach. “Oh, nothing. I was just asking how long the two of you have been dating.” Lando says with a smirk, his gaze glued to you, definitely enjoying your embarrassed state. Oscar could feel your emotions, his hand made his way to your back to caress it - a silent way of reminding you that he’s here. “A few months,” he admits, voice steady but cautious. “We didn’t want to keep it a secret, Lando. We just... didn’t know how to tell you” he explained. “It was never about not trusting you. I was just scared of your reaction…” you added. 
“Look, I get it. I’m not mad, just... annoyed I had to figure it out on my own. I would’ve preferred hearing it from you guys.” He glanced at both of you, the concern clear in his eyes “But if this is serious... then I just want to make sure you’re both happy. And that you’ll be honest with me from now on. Now let’s go celebrate, yeah?” you nodded and hugged Lando, feeling relieved.
The tree of you headed towards the car. Oscar opened the door for you and just as he was supposed to enter the car Lando pointed a finger at him. “But Oscar, you hurt her, and you are dealing with me. Remember that”. Oscar held up his hands in defense “Understood”. 
@/lando.jpg
Tumblr media
happy podium to my favourite couple
september 18, 2024
423 notes · View notes
paluding · 6 months ago
Text
MODDERS WANTED!
Maxis lost and found: Sims 2 werewolf faces?
Tumblr media
Nope, I didn't use any custom face templates or sliders to make this render. This werewolf face IS in the game! Once again, nothing to download here, at least not for now. Hopefully we can make this an actual thing. All the details and research under the cut 🐺
So I was digging through the Pets EP files the other day for a project I had in mind when I found these meshes:
Tumblr media
The "Arch" in the name caught my attention, because that's how the CAS face templates are named as well, so when I loaded the preview I found these really cool werewolf faces!
Tumblr media
That got me thinking… this was probably intended for the werewolf transformations, right? Looks like the devs scrapped this idea on the final Pets release. @/hypersaline already restored the werewolf fangs, and I was wondering if it would be possible to restore these faces too.
Are "temporary face sliders" overlays even a thing in this game? The closest interaction I can think of is the Plastic Surgery station and its preset faces for the failed surgeries, but those just create a new face in the genetic data of the Sim, which is permanent unless the player gives them another plastic surgery session. The ideal thing would be morphing the face with these "sliders" when they transform into werewolves, and then remove them once they go back to their human shape.
Anyway, I figured I could extract the meshes and see if I could preview the faces in Blender just to showcase them. The files are pretty broken, they don't even have a UV map and the vertex order is all over the place. So after some tedious vertex snapping shenaningans I kinda remade them in Blender. Here's how they all look, compared to the base second face template in the game:
Tumblr media
Adult Female Face (afArchLycan):
Adult Male Face (amArchLycan):
Tumblr media
Teen Female Face (tfArchLycan):
Tumblr media
Teen Male Face (tmArchLycan):
Tumblr media
No elder faces as far as I know, and obviously children werewolves aren't a thing in the vanilla game.
The modding skills needed to restore something like this (if it's even possible) are way out of my scope. So yeah, if any modder knows a trick or two about how to implement this face transformation back in the game and feels brave enough to give this a try, please count me in! My DMs are open. I'll be more than happy to help with anything I'm able to on the meshing department 🙇‍♂️
Until then, at least here's a showcase archived of what could have been for Sims 2 werewolves 🌝
358 notes · View notes
scrompsautobotsrchives · 1 month ago
Text
A prime’s promise
Tumblr media
After seeing transformers one, it really inspired me with this story. Word count:952
Optimus has lost so so much during the war on Cybertron, Not only did he lose his home and what he stands for. He also lost his closest friend...
He saw Megatron as a brother, back when he was known as D-16, Bee knew this well, mirage only remembered bits and pieces. Only you didn't know the full story, you heard about the name and the word Decepticons.
One day, when working around the warehouse, you could see Optimus outside, hands on his hips as he looked out into the open, he seemed deep in thought. You looked up at bee. "Is he ok ??"
He beeped and whirred softly. "All... sparks... day"
Today was meant to be a celebration of all life on Cybertron, It was one of their annual holidays that they spend. Optimus didn't think he would be spending this day on a different planet.
So you went up to him after finishing your tasks. "Optimus ??"
He blinked and looked down. "Oh, hello y/n" He nodded.
"Just wanted to say... I finished the tasks you asked me to do" You swivelled your foot on the dirt floor.
"I'm grateful for your help" he nodded again and then looked out into the open once more... there was so much beauty to this planet.
You stood there in silence alongside him, Thinking about what you were going to say next. "Can I ask you a question ??"
He looked down at you. ''Go on"
"What was... Life on Cybertron like ??" You raised an eyebrow as you looked up at him.
He hummed softly and sat down on the dirt ground, the memories all coming back to him in a flash... he looked back up bittersweetly.
"Our home... was beautiful, It was prosperous, shiny and alive..." He tensed up at the last word. He really missed his home... He then felt a tiny hand placed onto his digit as you gently rubbed it, encouraging him to continue.
He chuckled a little. "The library, it was so big... so much knowledge stored in the vaults. i would spend hours upon hours diving into the archives"
"I would've liked to see it" You nodded softly.
"It was a very special place for me... we also had bars, recreational centers, homes, trains and everything..."
"Guess Cybertron is not so different"
He looked out into the open. "Before I was prime, I was a young miner working for the primes to dig up Energon to bring up to the surface"
"Energon ??"
"it is almost similar to a coal mine, It's what keeps us alive... keeps everything alive"
"What were the workers like ??"
This was when you noticed that Optimus started to tense up at this... All those memories coming back... not so bittersweet.
"Before Megatron was the leader of the Decepticons, He was known as D-16... he was like a brother to me, He was very rules-based and always tried to stay out of trouble..." He looked down sadly as the more haunting memories came to the surface. "When he found out what sentinel prime was doing to our home... I watched him unravel with my own eyes, anger consumed him... Revenge consumed him..."
You turned sad as you stayed close to him, offering any support you could.
"Once I became prime, I banished him out of IACON... That was when I knew... we would be locked into a never-ending cycle of violence... a war I fear that will never end" He sighed sadly...
"Optimus... I had no idea..." You stuck close. "I... may not have seen it myself... But I know that you would do anything to protect them, You did everything that you could"
He nodded, looking at you. "Thank you y/n... I realise now that there is more than meets the eye with you... You have shown loyalty to the end, You would more than likely have made a great autobot on cybertron" He chuckled.
"Thanks..." You looked up at him, before growing a little concerned. "What happens if he finds you here ?? and the others ??"
"Then I will defend your home just like I would have defended mine, That is a prime's promise" He looked at you, You could see the sincerity in his eyes, you nodded and shook his digit.
The moment was interrupted when Bee came whirring like a madman, he wanted to show Optimus something incredible.
"What is it bud ??" you looked up at him as he showed the Datacard, he placed it in and soon a holoprojector appeared, It was a recording of all spark day. recorded by the lively yellow bot behind the camera, showing off the parade of metals, part of the celebration.
"Woah..."
You looked up at Optimus who was viewing the recording fondly, his optics softened as the video played.
"What is this ??"
"All spark day is the celebration of life, simply put" You both could see the hint of a smile.
"So everyone's birthday put together ??"
He nodded. "We celebrate the life that came from the forge. So all of us" The recording then showed off a giant Energon fountain.
You were completely in awe. "This is incredible"
The camera then zoomed in on a younger-looking Optimus walking with the parade, followed by Bee making a cheeky comment.
"Wait you could talk ??" You looked up at Bee, to which he nodded. "Wow, Optimus look how young you were"
"As I believe humans would say... I'm still in my prime" Haha cheeky attempt at dad humour.
Cybertron was a fascinating topic, and you hoped to learn more... Optimus was not only a leader... but he would be a dear friend to you as well.
Taglist: @callofdudes
238 notes · View notes
solselah · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
GODDESS MESSAGE
𓋹
PILE 1 :
𖤓HATHOR𖤓
Omg so immediately she wants to work with you as far as transformation is concerned!!! She can empathize and understand your emotional pain and physical Boundaries !! She sees that in love you have been so fucked over. Especially with the cheating and not being honest & non comital in totality she really wants to help usher in a new person , a new energy for you ! Even if they start as one of your closest friends ! She wants you to be Content and balanced !! She’s also letting you know , that person who fumbled you is definitely getting their just do with karma! And it manifest in a very specific way for this person , I’ll tell you now she is the reason why ! She’s teaching a very strong karmic lesson to this person & my love, to you as well! The twin flame card is here but I’m not feeling that energy at all , I’m more so feeling that this illusion has crumbled to pieces !! You wouldn’t even “care” if they were considered your twin flame honestly the hurt to you Goes way beyond a “dynamic” your over it ! And she can so sense it ! It’s up to you to be truthful and open to her if you are or plan on working with her energy ! Just know it’s a journey & also not everything is rainbow and unicorns with her ! She’s going to reveal to you some real sh*t !
𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹
PILE 2:
𓋹 🐈‍⬛ BASTET 🐈‍⬛ 𓋹
Bastet would like to tell you that there is some spiritual conversations going on in the spiritual realm about you !! She is showing up to help you out with your life’s purpose , giving you the push and encouragement you need to actually put yourself out there !! She intends for you to come into union with your passion! The issue here is that you are totally not willing to fully receive ! She is very strict about this message but in order to walk with her on this journey she would like to take with you , you would have to open up just a bit more ! Like you do your part she will do hers !! She also has some secrets she would love to disclose to you !! I’m talking she can be your spiritual ears when you aren’t around ! She has your back !! You just have to be actually willing !!
𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹
PILE 3:
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ NUT ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
okay so this beautiful goddess sends you intense messages not sure if you have put a name to who is sending these messages but I hope this helps !!
You dream and almost instantly forget once you wake up , she is in charge of taking up that empty space !! I think she is proving to you that parts of you are very closed off like even to the point where it has gotten spiritually silent for you ! That is intentional and will not LAST ! But she moves in complete silence when it comes down to it. She wants you to know YOU ARE SO PROTECTED! Don’t you even dare try to question that ! Like to the point you question her she might let a small mishap happen just so you see her energy LIVE IN ACTION !! She is Very big on lessons with you!! She can see future YOU , and honestly you are going places my friend ! So idk if you would officially decide to work with her but I do know she is there & around ! It’s like she is your encourager someone on the “sideline” for you spiritually!
𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹
PILE 4:
𓍝 MAAT 𓍝
“Give me the energy “
You could be so “bleh” right now like things just don’t seem worth being excited over, for you! She wants to bring you to a grounded space ! It’s obvious you aren’t the same person that you were like last year emotionally ! And she can see you doing better if you were to focus on your emotionally health ! Like she even encourages therapy or a tool that you can utilize to express exactly how you feel ! She also would love to just hear from you ; she can be that for you ! That support.
Although she will tell the truth EVERY TIME! And it may sting real bad , it’s imperative so that you can get up out of this state. It feels good to you right now but she can sense other things that you may not be able to at the moment. So she’s here to ground you , help put your feet on solid ground!!! I also see incense she may want you to burn some for her !! Also I’m getting heavy Aquarius energy along with Uranus energy !! She is highlighting a spiritual cleanse you may need to do !!
𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹
Hope you enjoy ❤️
IG:@soleccentric
405 notes · View notes
ino-takumas-baggy-sweater · 11 months ago
Text
The Blessing to Your Curse - Part 1 (Ryomen Sukuna x Reader)
Tumblr media
Hey y’all I’m back again so soon with another fic, Sukuna’s lover reincarnation (whatever you call it) has me in a chokehold right now and I thought I’d share this with the world. Would like to warn you there is a lot of strange jumping around/pov changes which are indicated by the change in pronouns, I would mark each change but it would get a bit messy after a while so I hope it’s not too hard to follow! ^-^
Reader’s powers involve something I like to call ‘blessed energy’ which is the opposite to cursed energy and is mostly used for healing (reverse blessed energy is used to harm in the same way reverse CE is used to heal) and it’s something I created to use with my writings in the JJK universe. (sometimes I write it a little op because im a self-indulgent piece of shit so for most of what I post I’ll probably dial it back if I use it hehe) The reader has a similar situation to Maki/Mai (MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD) where one twin is restricted and the other has all the energy, and when the one with the energy dies the living twin gains all the power, so I hope that makes sense in context of the story
(PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO SEND A REQUEST!!!! I'M ALWAYS IN NEED OF NEW PROMPTS AND CHARACTERS TO GO WITH THEM ❤)(I have a post which outlines characters I mostly write for but I'm open to adding to that list!!)
Warnings: mild description of mutilation (sukuna’s transformation), main character death (not described), fluff
Word count: 2.4k
Tumblr media
“Ryomen!” You laugh, trying to keep a few steps ahead of the young man who chases after you. Your legs tire easily, body frail and sick despite the immense power flowing through your veins. “I’m coming for you!” He growls playfully, “Better run!” He’s holding back from his top speed, this you know well, but you refuse to let that stop you from trying to keep up with his childish play. Still young, 16 and 17 with him being the older one, you insist that you would rather spend the rest of your life here with him than being shepherded around in the village like a priestess.
This is your only escape from the temple on the hill, only solitude, your time with Ryomen Sukuna is precious and you treat it as such, thinking only of him and his rare smiles. You refuse to let the village’s words taint your view of him, as powerful as he is with his cursed energy there is good in him and you seek to nurture it, for both simple selfish gain and so he doesn’t turn on everyone like they did him. You reach the treeline and race out into the meadow, the grass tall and soft around your waist having stripped down from your daily ceremonial robes into just modest loose undergarments.
He does eventually catch up near the middle of the meadow, springing out of the grass and tackling you to the ground, making sure to roll so you land on top of him and he takes the full force of the fall. The last time you returned to the village after a long day of simple play with bruises and scrapes you weren’t allowed to leave the village for a few weeks.
He’s grown quite a lot larger than you during his time in exile, to be expected when you have to fend for yourself against wild animals and build your own shelter, “You’re getting stronger every day,” You smile, pushing yourself off him and laying in the grass, staring up at the beautiful pink of the sunset. “Well I have to, to be able protect you, I’m not the only thing out there you know,” He says, his tone almost too blasé for what he’s implying. You tilt your head and trace the lines of his tattoos with your eyes, “I know you’re not, but you’re not a thing to me Ryomen,” You murmur, “Please, you’re the closest thing I have to a friend, you’ve always been human to me,”
He meets your gaze, his eyes used to be brown, but the red no longer worries you like it used to, “One day I’ll get you out of that village,” He says softly, his words for your ears and the rustling grass only, “I will take you far away from here and we can live somewhere untouched by the rest of the world,” You sit up, looking down at him as you hug your knees to your chest, “I’d like that,” You say, smiling, “Just the two of us,” Nothing could touch you while you were together, the world stood still for you, not even the scathing remarks you sometimes got from the other young girls of the village could hurt you.
The world is volatile, things can change so quickly. Curses are still so new to the world of humans, sorcerers that act as protectors are only just starting to appear among humans and spread themselves between villages when the day finally comes. The wave of hatred and anguish that came with the curses suffocated everything in its path. You were outside the village when it happened, returning from a visit with Sukuna, and you returned to find nothing but death and destruction. More than half of the village had been killed with no discrimination towards age or gender, and it only soothed you a little to see your old family home empty when you wrenched the door open. No blood nor bodies of any kind. Your parents and sister had made it out alive, but the temple atop the hill that you resided in was completely engulfed.
You weren’t naïve, you did not attempt to return to the temple, but they came for you all the same because your energy was like a beacon for them, and they were programmed to destroy. Running with Ryomen had improved your strength over the time you spent together, you supposed that was one of the ways he took care of you in his silent brooding way, but it wasn’t enough to get you all the way to him. He must have sensed your fear as you grew nearer, your breaths shallow and your chest tight, his eyes are the last thing you remember seeing before your soul was harshly liberated from your flesh.
The smell of blood permeated through layers of warmth that held you in suspension beyond life, but you felt yourself being dragged back to the ground, standing over your own body as you watch the only person outside of your immediate family who ever truly cared for you cry. You had never seen him cry before, it was cathartic to know even he still felt human somewhere inside while holding your weak broken body to his bare tattooed chest.
You felt his cursed energy filling the air like smoke, almost able to see it in the purgatory state you’re trapped in, his body shaking and his muscles twitching. It was like watching someone turn themselves inside out when it finally happened, his body began changing before your eyes, an extra pair of arms sprout from the top of his ribcage just under the normal ones. His face contorts with an agonized cry and one half becomes unrecognisable, the flesh pink and hardened into some sort of twisted mask, and to finish the monstrous transformation a second pair of eyes open under his regular ones.
Drenched in sweat and breathing heavily as he cradles you, you hear him make one last promise, one that locks around what remains of your essence like chains and puts you into a deep sleep. “I will burn this world for taking you from me, I will become the King of Curses, and when you are reborn I shall make you remember, make you my Queen, I will bind myself to you to protect you,” It’s the final part that reassures you he isn’t losing himself as the darkness consumes you, “When I find you, the world will be right once again,”
Now it had been over a thousand years since the light in Sukuna’s life had gone out, reducing him to a killing machine that punished the world for snuffing it out, and he had returned once more in the body of a naive 15 year old boy with pink hair. Having been preserved as twenty separate cursed objects since his untimely death he was eager to resume his self-assigned purge, but the boy had more control over his body than Sukuna could break through, leaving him trapped within his innate domain watching through Yuji Itadori’s eyes like they’re windows.
“I had to do it at least once,” He grumbles to himself as the boy sits up, stark naked, on the morgue table, surprising the three sorcerers in the room with the formerly dead boy. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet, Yuji, come,” Gojo instructs as the boy slips on some clothes handed to him. “Another sorcerer?” He asks. “You’ll see when we get there,” The taller man beckons him and they make their way to a house on the furthest outskirts of the Jujutsu high campus, small in size and surrounded by forest on all sides except for the path leading up to the entrance.
A fire burns in the chimney and the house is warm when the pair steps inside, “L/n!” Gojo calls out. Sukuna’s attention is elsewhere as around the corner down the hall out walks a pure angel, her energy blinding and her form strong. “Gojo!” She smiles, “Who’s this?” “This is Yuji Itadori, Ryomen Sukuna’s vessel,” She bows politely, “Welcome to my home,” She looks back up into Yuji’s eyes as he smiles, “It’s nice to meet you!”
“Enchain!” Sukuna shouts, and suddenly he’s thrown violently to the forefront of Yuji’s mind. His trump card, wasted. He hadn’t considered the potential consequences, it had been instinctual and foolish of him. The girl didn’t know who he was, but he wanted to speak to her all the same. He would make her know. He cannot stumble, he cannot falter, not when she’s right there and all he has to do is show her, “Y/n,” He murmurs. “That’s not Yuji,” She frowns, her voice soft, “That’s-” Before the two can react Sukuna is on his knees before her, holding her hands in his and hiding against her soft clothing. “I’ve…” Gojo trails off, “I’ve never seen that before,” The girl doesn’t let him go, and he feels her power reach into him, feeling around in the darkest parts of his soul, “My Queen,” He mutters, feeling the metaphysical chains around his heart tighten, “Please, remember,”
A fast surge of energy from Gojo causes the man on his knees before you to react just as quickly, pulling you tighter against him and then seemingly teleporting out the open door into the clearing, “It’s rude to attack ROYALTY!” He roars as Gojo steps out the door after the pair of you. Sukuna has planted himself firmly between the two of you, “You sorcerers never learn manners!” Something happens when your skin next touches his, his hand shooting out to catch you by your wrist as you fail to keep your balance.
A flood of memories that don’t belong to you, in fact, ones that belong to him. You see yourself, weak and frail but smiling widely, Sukuna as he is in front of you now not as he is described in sorcerer texts. A regular human man with an abnormal amount of tattoos, fiercely protective and full of love for the only person who still sees him as human. You vaguely feel yourself fall to your knees as everything from the day he was exiled to the day you died returned to your mind. You knew that despite the life you had lived for twenty years, you were in fact over a thousand years old.
This wasn’t your life, this wasn’t your body, it was hers, but you are her. You can feel the chains, too, the ones he put there the day you died to ensure that you would return. “The world took her from me, and the world paid the price, now BACK OFF!” His words shake you out of your visions, his hand still clutching your wrist as your head hangs weakly.
“Come now, Sukuna, taking hostages isn’t your style, you know that,” Gojo bargains, “Let her go, and we can fight like men,” You shake your head, “No,” You murmur, “No, Gojo,” You finally look up into his eyes, slightly uncovered as he prepares to fight, “He’s right, I know who I am, I know where my clan comes from,” He doesn’t make a move towards you and you take the opportunity to speak again, “My mother was blessed, her child would calm the beast, but she had two and one was weak in body strong in energy, the other was lacking in energy but strong of body,” Your sister had been the one the clan records mentioned, nobody remembered the girl who died alone in Ryomen Sukuna’s arms.
“I am the Queen to Ryomen Sukuna’s King,” You breathe, feeling his grip on your wrist go lax. His energy dies away and he falls to his hands and knees, but the tattoos are gone. “Yuji!” Gojo’s shoulders finally relax and he recovers his eyes, “What happened? How did he get through?” “Don’t ignore me, Satoru,” You state firmly, “Sukuna will not be a threat while I am alive,” “Can you guarantee that?” He’s always been intimidating, but this man was a part of your training as a sorcerer, and he can be rational when he wants to be.
“You’re an imbecile if you think I’m going to go back on a binding vow,” Sukuna spits from Yuji’s cheek, the boy not even having a chance to get a word in, “She is the only thing in this forsaken world I care about and you’re not about to take that away from me just so you can pretend like you’re the saviour of humanity,” You don’t remember ever being as harsh as Sukuna is right now, but his rage fills you with confidence and admiration, “I can guarantee humans will not fall as long as I am alive, his vow makes sure of it, though I’m sure he would not need it either way,”
The secondary eye on Yuji’s cheek closest to you locks its gaze onto you, “Ever so cunning, I wish I’d had the chance to nurture your hatred towards the village, maybe you’d be more open to killing,” He sounds almost wistful, “But alas, I did make a promise, and I intend to keep it, no matter how idiotic I think you sorcerers are,” You finally move to stand back on your feet, helping Yuji up with a tentative smile, “It’s nice to meet you Itadori,” You murmur, “I’m sorry you have to listen to that punk, you come to me if he gives you trouble alright?” The boy nods, his previously cheery demeanour replaced with something mellower and he seems deep in thought as he looks into your eyes.
“He really loves you,” He murmurs in disbelief, “I didn’t… I didn’t think he was truly capable of love, after what he did to me,” You shrug, “It’ll make sense one day, but I’ll let him be the one who opens up, it’s not my place to air out thousand year old dirty laundry with people who are long dead anyway,” Your words hang in the air as Gojo finally sighs. The discussion and conclusion are finalised when he leaves, Yuji will live with you and you will suppress Sukuna’s energy. You will keep the world safe by preserving your life, lest another binding vow come down upon your departing soul and the King of curses be forced to unleash his merciless fury once more.
Tumblr media
Sukuna is a little shit and out of character because it’s my fic and I get to write the male love interest however I want (I tried besties :( I don’t like mean Sukuna but I do love “I hate everyone but you” so that’s what you get) also I wrote this instead of sleeping at 2am, the brainrot is real and this will probably end up being a series because I can’t control myself
Part 2 here!
Post dividers from @cafekitsune
571 notes · View notes
m-yg93 · 1 year ago
Text
Solace
Tumblr media
Pairing: KNJ x Reader
WC: 13.5k
Genre: Roommates2L
Rating: M (minors dni)
Warnings: Brief blood mention from a cut, mention of minor character death (sickness), fingering, hand job, big dick joon, belly bulge, unprotected sex, mentions of choking, creampie, dirty talk, inconsistent POV
Banner by @sugarwithtea​
Beta’d by @yoongiobsessed​ and Sara (twitter link)
Summary: Namjoon thought getting used to a new roommate would take time and adaptation but you fit yourself into his apartment with ease. He swears he only landed in your bed to keep you safe in his arms when you get spooked by the storm. Surely he can blame the eventual lack of clothing on the summer’s heat stroke.
Author’s Note: This should have been written months ago. I don’t have an excuse. Oh well, it’s here now! 
Part of the Room For Rent collab
Tumblr media
There needs to be a word that describes the feeling of being happy for someone while simultaneously going through betrayal.
Namjoon is happy for Yoongi, of course he is, but watching him from across their kitchen table is sending an uncomfortable wave through him. He didn’t expect his oldest and closest friend to run from him, leave him in the dust, just straight up abandon him.
“Oh my God, you’re being dramatic. I’m not abandoning you, I’m moving to Gangnam. It’s just across the river! You and your freakishly thick thighs can bike to my new place in 20 minutes.”
Okay so perhaps he’s being a little dramatic but what else was he supposed to think? He and Yoongi had shared this apartment for years. There had been countless sleepless nights fueled by too much ramen, the living room littered with energy drinks as they bumped heads and helped each other brainstorm ideas for new beats. These walls hold melodies and memories, and he’s just expected to share them with someone else now?
“Plus, I told you you’re welcome to move in with Jin and I. His dad’s some CEO and the apartment is ridiculously lavish. There’s a room with your name on the door if you want it. I’m serious, Jin has this thing with plaques and has a name for every room, it’s honestly worrying. I won’t even tell you what he decided to name the master bedroom.”
Namjoon purses his lips at the thought. That was the main reason behind turning Yoongi’s offer down. He likes Jin and genuinely loves that he brings so much light into Yoongi’s naturally dreary life. Seeing Yoongi’s lips fight against a smile only to burst into the cheesiest, gummy grin while audibly groaning about his boyfriend’s terrible jokes brings a warmth to Namjoon’s chest every time. Yoongi deserves to be happy and he knows Jin is the best person for the job. But he knows full well the couple will christen every room of that apartment and he wants no part of it.
“I know,” he agrees, “But with the proximity to Yongsan park? I don’t know if I’ll ever leave this place.” The open fields just outside the doors of their apartment are the first solace he reaches for when the instrumentals in his brain just keep fighting each other, transforming into the screeching noise of the streets under his window. The trees don’t talk back but letting out his frustrations under the canopy of leaves feels like it helps anyway. “I guess I’ll have to try to pick up some extra freelance contracts to make up for having to pay the rent alone. I hate having to produce meaningless pop but it brings in decent cash when I’m in a tight spot,” he laments.
“Dude, I’m not heartless. I didn’t just decide to move out and leave you stranded. I have a friend from high school. I don’t see her often but she’s a good time and she’s looking to move out of her parents’ place now that she’s done with her degree. It’ll be easier to find work in the city. I’ve mentioned her. Y/N? I go out to dinner with her every couple months to make sure we keep in touch. She’s pretty shy and she’s quiet, you’ll barely notice she’s here.”
There’s a wave of relief that comes with knowing he won’t have to pinch pennies but it quickly turns frigid at the realization that he’ll have to live with a stranger. What if she was a morning person? What if she was a smoker and made the whole apartment fill with the lingering acrid smell? What if she killed his plants?
“I can see your brain working overtime. Breathe, I wouldn’t offer the place to someone I know doesn’t fit your vibe,” Yoongi reassures. I guess there’s not much else to do but wait and see how compatible your living situations are.
Tumblr media
Thankfully their own music equipment had been bought separately because they’ve been bickering all day when Yoongi tries to put something in a box from their shared spaces only to have Namjoon object.
“What are you going to do with a wok, Joon? YOU DON’T COOK!”
“Jin has a plethora of different ones in his kitchen and we both know it! Maybe your friend likes to cook, huh? Maybe she’ll want the wok to make meals.”
“Make you meals, you mean?” Okay so maybe he was hoping the new roommate situation came with food because losing both Yoongi and Jin’s cooking overnight was going to hit him hard. He’ll wither away into a string bean at this rate seeing as he’s not allowed near the knives nor the stove.
Yoongi must take pity in the pleading look in his eyes because he puts down the wok with a sigh and passes to the next cupboard. Namjoon is distracted by Jin’s entrance, always loud and boisterous.
“Hey! How is packing going? I just parked the moving van downstairs but I don’t know how long I’m allowed to be there.”
“It’s fine,” Yoongi shouts from across the apartment. “I’d be done already if Joon didn’t try to steal all my shit and force me to leave them here.” He’s zooming past him, bony shoulder purposefully digging into Joon’s bicep.
“I’m monitoring the fair share of roommate assets,” he huffs. “Jin’s apartment has more shit in it than he already needs. You’re leaving me alone with only memories that you once cared for me. The least you could do is not leave with half of what’s in this measly dwelling when your sugar daddy’s got you up in a penthouse.”
They both know the jabs are jokes. Jin has more money than anyone needs, but he’s also a hard worker and spent his youth learning how to take over the business from his father when the time comes. He’d swept Yoongi off his feet with expensive dinners and outrageous gifts when they were first dating, only knowing how to flaunt his money for attention before Yoongi set him straight and taught him that he’d have to put more thought into his courting if he expected him to stick around. Clearly, he did.
Reminiscing about his, nearly ex, roommate almost distracts him enough to miss Yoongi trying to sneak a thin square package into his last remaining box.
“You’re going to take that vinyl out of here over my dead body, Yoongi!” The apartment echoes the lament in surround sound.
They do eventually make it to the van parked downstairs after Yoongi finishes taping up his boxes with only a limited amount of protest from Namjoon.. The air is humid, clothes sticking to Namjoon’s skin as he chases after the wind from Yoongi’s open window like a dog on his first car ride. Jin’s apartment building is a stark opposite from their, his, own. Whereas the outside of his building is all grey concrete walls, Jin’s is all sleek glass of floor-to-ceiling windows causing the brightness of the sun to reflect off and into Namjoon’s eyes as he looks up to the top where his friend will now be living.
The air conditioning of the lobby hits full force, the trio letting out a pleasant hum which quickly turns into a deep groan when they see the elevator boasting an out of order sign. Two pairs of sharp eyes round on Jin, malice dripping from furrowed brows.
“I swear it was working when I left this morning. They must be using all the power to keep each unit’s AC going through the heat wave. The stairs are this way.” He points to a corner of the lobby, tight corridor leading to a single door.
“The stairs? You live in the penthouse, that’s FIFTEEN flights, babe.” Yoongi is quick to point out.
“Are you trusting enough to keep all your music equipment in the van for who knows how long this heat is going to last? I know you’re going to complain about all the moisture in the air messing with your delicate settings.” Namjoon knows he’s got him there. Yoongi would suffer through a natural disaster if it meant keeping his equipment safe and at peak performance.
“You’re right,” Yoongi sighs dejectedly, head thrown backwards. “But I won’t be any help bringing the gear up. You see these legs? They’ll snap like toothpicks if I try to bring them up. Guess Biceps and Shoulders need to do all the heavy lifting.” There’s an airy lilt to his voice when he figures he’s saved himself from the worst bit.
“Doubt they’ll stay that small seeing how many times you’ll be going up and down those stairs to bring up all the light boxes while we deal with the heavy stuff. You’ll have lungs of steel with all that cardio, buddy. I’m sure Jin will appreciate how long he can hold his dick in your throat without you needing to breathe after that.” Namjoon sends him a salacious wink.
Yoongi’s face, which had been a flushed shade of pink from the heat, drains immediately when he realizes the position he’s put himself in but Namjoon doesn’t let him change his mind. He just claps a hand on his shoulder and turns around to get to the van and pick up the first console they’ll need to bring up to Yoongi’s new designated studio space.
Namjoon regrets showing Friends to Jin after today. If he has to hear ‘PIVOT’ one more forsaken time he might choke that windshield wiper laugh right out his friend’s throat. His whole body is aching when he sets his ass down on Jin’s plush couch, finally tasting a bite of heaven after all those steps but it can’t be savored long.
“Get up.” Yoongi’s voice breaks through his needed rest. “The elevator mishap made us take way longer than planned and we’re already late to pick up Y/N.” If anyone sees him fighting back tears that’s none of their business.
Tumblr media
The drive out to the suburbs of Seoul is peaceful, the population seems to have holed up inside and away from the sun’s rays. They pull up to a nice two-story home. Namjoon can’t see much into the property since it’s surrounded by tall brick walls, but it’s unnecessary as he can see the silhouette of a young woman waiting outside the gate, piles of boxes at her feet.
They all pour out of the truck, Yoongi darts out first to meet her halfway where she throws herself in his arms. There’s a lot of squealing and Namjoon isn’t sure from who it’s coming out of in the mess of limbs. They separate and approach where he and Jin had waited by the vehicle.
“I’m Y/N, you must be Jin!” There’s a hand out ready to be shaken but it’s presented in front of the wrong man.
“Actually, Jin is this one,” Yoongi corrects, taking your wrist and moving it to the correct person.
“Oh my God, that’s embarrassing. I just figured it was the big one. I’ve heard about your muscle kink enough once you figured out you were into men that I just-- You know what? I’m going to shut up now. Hi, sorry about that. Nice to meet you.” There’s a nervous giggle in between words that’s instantly endearing.
Jin doesn’t seem offended, laughing alongside her. “No worries, he’s plenty satisfied without the beefiness of his teenage crushes.” He wiggles his eyebrows comically which has her chuckling and Yoongi whining.
“This is Namjoon, your new roommate. Joon, this is Y/N.” It’s his turn to shake hands, your fingers so thin and delicate around his much bigger grasp. He takes the time to really take you in, looking down at you; wide grin and smooth skin that spans from your neck down into your… Nope, face!
“You have a nice face.” For a lyricist he sure did have a way with words.
“Thank you?” Your eyes trail to the side where Yoongi stands, eyes deadpan and mouth shut tight.
“He grows on you, I swear. Get in the car, we’ll grab your boxes.” Yoongi says as he passes in front of you with an icy stare towards Namjoon. Okay, so he could have made a better first impression.
You don’t have many boxes which makes sense. The apartment is furnished and Yoongi had left his bedroom set for you since he wouldn’t need it at Jin’s. He remembers leaving his parent’s house with barely anything. It had taken a while for Yoongi and him to make the apartment seem like people actually lived in it. They’d spent far too long eating cup noodles while sitting on the floor in the corner of the kitchen.
Jin takes his place behind the wheel, Yoongi slipping in beside him in the passenger seat. The earlier ride in the backseat wasn’t so bad for Namjoon since he could sit crookedly to fit his long legs behind the couple’s seats in front of him but your presence beside him forces his knees to hit the back of Yoongi’s seat.
“Can you push your seat up a bit? Your little legs don’t need that much space,” Namjoon shoots ahead of him.
“And just for that comment your giant ass and long limbs can suck it up. Respect your elders, brat,” Yoongi snaps back. Maybe he deserved that one.
He sends you a sheepish look and an awkward smile as he spreads open his thighs lewdly. His knee hits yours despite you sticking your legs together demurely, hands politely sitting in your lap. The touch attracts your gaze and Namjoon can track your eyes as they drag up the bare skin of his quad, past the hem where the material of his shorts dig into his thighs, and settles just a little too long where both his legs meet. He can practically feel your stare burning a hole into his groin, a heat expanding through his body.
He doesn’t even realize when he lets out an uneasy cough and you’re quick to look away with a start when you hear it; clearly having been caught in your little perversion. The flush that builds on your cheeks is shameful enough that he doesn’t mention anything more, only locking away the memory of you blushing and embarrassed for later.
Namjoon is thankful that with four pairs of arms there won’t be a need to do multiple trips for your boxes. Jin sends you and Yoongi off with a box each but loads Namjoon’s arms with three; enough to block his view so he has to peek around them to see where he’s going. There might not be many boxes but the ones he’s been given are heavy enough to make his arms shake underneath their weight. He’s absolutely going to blame that on having had to haul all of Yoongi’s belongings during the day and definitely not on the fact he’s weak. He goes to the gym regularly!
“Thanks for helping! Just leave them by the door, I’ll take care of unloading everything,” you call from across the apartment. Yoongi must be giving you a tour of the place.
Namjoon kicks off his shoes and crashes head first into the couch, his big body halfway dropping off of it. All his muscles ache and he’s sticky with sweat. His lids close, reaching for some rest. His stomach rumbles, the memory of breakfast fading. There’s soft footsteps sneaking up on him. He’s trained himself enough to catch Yoongi coming. He’s broken enough things when his roommate suddenly appeared by his side and gave him a spook.
“Don’t think I’m an idiot, Joon. I could see the way you looked at her. I’m only going to say this once, don’t fuck my friend.” His voice is almost sinister as it whispers in his ear. Namjoon’s eyes quickly open wide. He wasn’t looking at you in any sort of way and he was about to defend himself, mouth open with a denial on his tongue. He doesn’t have the chance since you pop around the corner, seeing them both with their heads too close to each other, Yoongi’s glare facing Namjoon’s incredulous look.
“Everything good here?” you ask.
Yoongi’s expression shifts, gummy smile on full display but Namjoon still sees the daggers in his eyes. “Yep, I was just saying bye to Joon. Jin’s already back at the van and we need to get it back to the vendor. Text me if you need anything Y/N. And Joon? Remember what I said.” He and Jin take their leave, surely to start desecrating their new shared space.
“Okay? Is it just me or was he being weird?” You look back at Namjoon but there’s only a shrug of his shoulders as your reply. “Alright, well I’m going to start unpacking then.” You’re just about to turn tail when you can hear the growl coming from Namjoon again. “Ah, you must be hungry, you’ve been going around the city all day. Is there anything already in the kitchen?”
“No, we went through all of it when Yoongi and Jin decided to have a goodbye dinner this week. You get started on unpacking and I’ll run down to the store for some stuff. I think we’re both too tired to do much effort but I can grab ingredients for some decent ramen.” Namjoon slips his shoes back on and running out the door as soon as he finishes speaking.
Luckily, there’s a small family owned market just down the street from the apartment. Mrs. Park is going to be sad to hear that her ‘little dumpling’, as she called Yoongi, won’t be visiting her anymore. She’s mostly used to seeing Namjoon anyway. Yoongi may have been the one cooking but Joon was always the one sent off on errands for any ingredients that were missing midway through the meal preparation.
The bell chimes above him when he walks into the little shop. Mrs. Park doesn’t even look up from her newspaper, head staring firmly into her lap. There’s a low buzz emitting from the artificial lights mixing with the music that’s playing in the shop, something Namjoon doesn’t know, a beat that hasn’t been popular in half a century.
The aisles are familiar and he grabs the ingredients absentmindedly, throwing things in the handheld basket hooked onto the crook of his arm. Green onions from the produce section, a carton of eggs and a hunk of cheese from the dairy section, and spam from the canned goods area.
Mrs. Park finally lifts her eyes from whatever news story that had her attention and gives him a warm smile that reaches her eyes. He should give his grandma a call. A smooth wrinkled hand grabs his groceries one by one, slowly bringing them closer for inspection. Her frail finger punches into the keys of the register.
His eyes wander while his items disappear from the counter and into a bag beneath the surface. The sky has turned a slate grey from an overbearing cloud covering the sun, bringing the vibrance of outside down to a dull.
Against the window is a shelf filled with flowers. Namjoon has often seen people grabbing a bouquet as they wait for their total. He remembers a man with a tie midway undone, suit jacket flapping behind him as he rushed out frantically. A forgotten anniversary he suspected. Just last week, there was a small child tugging at his father’s sleeve, pointing at a particularly bright blossom and requesting to bring it home to his mother. The memory brings a small smile to his lips.
He doesn’t contemplate long before reaching for a lonely white rose in a near empty bucket. He remembers certain symbolism from the time he read The Language of Flowers. Purity, innocence, a new beginning, and reverence. He thinks he catches a mischievous glint in Mrs. Park’s eye as she hands him the bag of groceries in one hand while the rose remains in his other.
The universe allows him only long enough to step out of the shop before the skies open up with a loud clap and water erupts in a downpour. Shock overtakes him and he freezes on the spot as he lets the fat water droplets sink into the fabric of his clothes. The cold immediately seepsinto his skin and settles in his bones, eyes shut tight and mouth open.
The loud rumble of distant thunder urges him to start moving. The plastic of the bag is slippery in his grasp and there’s a stinging pain in his palm from where the rose’s thorns dig in. There’s an uncomfortable squeak from the leather of his sandals with every heavy step he takes. As he sprints the few blocks back to the apartment, the loud slap slap slap of his foot hitting the pavement.
The door of the apartment slams into the wall as Namjoon rushes to get inside, the doorknob undoubtedly leaving a mark from the force at which Namjoon has opened it to throw himself inside.
“Namjoon? Is everything okay?” you call from the living room. “I’m sorry for the mess, I’m trying to fit in my own books across your collection. I don’t want to mess up the system you’ve got going on.”
“Yeah, all good, just wasn’t paying attention,” he reassures.
Your head pops out from the hallway to take inventory of the situation yourself, not quite trusting the waver in his voice. “Oh god, it started raining? I was so in my bubble that I didn’t even notice. You’re soaked! Let me grab you a towel.” You’re off to the bathroom before he can even thank you, already back to exchange the flower still in his grasp for the towel you hand him.
“I hope it didn’t take a beating on my way back over here,” he says, worry tainting the edge of his voice.
“No, it’s perfect. Thank you. Do you know if you have any vases?”
“I’m sure Yoongi’s left some in the kitchen. Jin had a habit of getting him a new bouquet every month. Don’t tell Yoongi I said this but he’d blush every time despite all the grumbling he did about it. Happened every month for two years, like clockwork,” he teases.
“That sounds about right. Yoongi will never admit it but I know how much praise and appreciation means to him. I’m glad Jin gives him that. I’ll go find it.” You’re turning tail and heading into the kitchen in search of the vase.
He pats himself dry enough so that he’s no longer dripping on the floor before he follows you in. You’re in front of an open cabinet, head tilted back to look at the top shelf of it. Your hand is stretched to its capacity, boosted by the tip of your toes, one knee nearly hiking onto the countertop to give yourself enough reach.
He truly only means to help when he sneaks in behind you to grab at the vase. He doesn’t expect to catch you off guard, sending you backwards and off balance with a squeak. His grasp abandons its path towards the top shelf and instead redirects to land on your hips, pinning you against his chest.
You’re taken by surprise at the strong hands grabbing onto your side, a hard wall of muscle at your back, heat radiating from his skin, his wet clothes dampening yours.
“Are you okay?” he asks, breath just a little too close to your ear.
There’s a hitch in your voice when you reply hastily, “Mhm! All good. I’ll let you get that actually. I’m going to change. My clothes are gross from today. You should too, you’re going to catch a chill if you stay in those wet clothes. Your shirt’s so soaked I can see right through it. Not that I was looking! I’ll just- right.”
You’re running off before he can articulate a thought, the door of your room slamming shut behind you. He’s nearly certain he can hear an embarrassed groan through the wall despite that. He does get the vase down and fills it with water, dropping the rose into it before he slips into his room as well.
The rain will be good for the heat in the long run but as it stands it just permeates the apartment with heavy humidity. He grabs a pair of comfortable shorts and a tank top to change into. He passes next to your room on his way to the bathroom. He takes the time to stop and knock at your door.
“Y/N? Do you need to use the bathroom? I’m going to jump in the shower really quick.”
“Go ahead! I’ll take one after dinner.”
His clumsy fingers struggle with the lock behind him, clothes falling onto the floor. The bluetooth speaker that has a permanent residence in the bathroom is turned on, a playlist going at random. He makes sure to adjust the temperature of the water, slightly colder than he usually would. It’s absolutely to combat the heat and definitely not the memory of your body pressed against his in the kitchen; soft under his hands and plump against where his crotch pushed in under the curve of your ass.
Oh god, focus on something else. Listen to the music. The beat is uplifting and he finds himself singing along to the lyrics. A popular song from a girl group member. He recalls Yoongi mentioning he’s worked on something similar.
He lets the tepid water run down his body, hands quick and rough where he scrubs the soap into his skin, not letting them stay in one spot too long to melt into the feeling. Yep, he definitely needs to have it colder. It’s near shivering levels of frigid when he ducks his head under the stream to rinse the shampoo out of his hair.
He’s nearly forgotten about the shape of your body against him, mind preoccupied with the soprano of the singer in his ears. Pop pop, pop, you want it. His body responds as if with muscle memory from seeing this song trend with its choreo everywhere online. His hands take turns pointing at an open hand and back again, fists then popping as if miming fireworks going down a zig zag pattern.
The haunting thoughts of the kitchen eventually disperse enough for him to exit the stream of water and change into the clean, dry clothes. You’re already in the kitchen humming to yourself once he leaves the room followed by a puff of steam.
“Do you need me to help with anything?” he proposes.
“Yeah, that’d be great. Can you slice up the spam and drop the eggs into the water? There’s a pot already boiling.” Put eggs in water and cut up some meat. Sure, he can do that.
The eggs may have cracked a little when he quite literally dropped them into the pot but that’s fine. A little hard boiled never hurt anyone. He swears he’s extra careful when you hand him a knife and let him stand in front of the cutting board. Just going to very daintily hold down the spam and slowly bring the knife down-
“You’re holding it upside down. Sharp edge towards the bottom and make sure you curl your knuckles in so you don’t nick yourself.” Right, of course, he knew the knife was upside down. Just making sure you did, hah.
He manages to make some slightly uneven slices until about halfway through the block but eventually there’s just not enough space for his big sausage fingers to hold on and the knife just slips…right into his palm.
“Ah, shit!” He jumps back, letting the knife clatter to the floor. His uninjured hand keeps the pressure onto the wound as small river of red runs between his fingers. He’s taken by surprise and lets himself be manhandled to the sink before his wounded hand is pushed under the cold, running water.
“I should have figured why Yoongi was so ominously telling me where the first aid kit was in the kitchen. And why he asked how often I cooked at home.” There’s shuffling behind him and a small hand sneaking its way between his body and the sink.
“Take it out, I’ll pat it dry and put a bandage on.” He’s careful to keep his hand stable as your delicate fingers patch him up. A soft pressure with a gauze and a more instant one for the wrap that goes around his palm.
“My friend JK is going to think I took up boxing and ask me to go to the gym with him if he sees this.” He tries to laugh it off, bringing humor into his near amputation.
“I don’t think you need any incentive to go to the gym.” Your eyes are trailing up his arm, stopping at his bicep and following all the way to the middle of his chest. The flex he pushes is completely accidental and was absolutely not to show off the progress he’s been building.
“I take care of myself, I guess.”
“Right.” There’s a small laugh in your voice. “Go take care of yourself, away from the kitchen. I’ll handle the rest.”
He lets himself be shooed out of the hot space, out into the living room where he sees your earlier comment about a mess. There’s books all over the floor in little towers looking for a home on his already overly compacted bookshelf. He picks a few of his bigger tomes to rehouse to his room which allows space for yours to make themselves at home.
He doesn’t notice how long he’s been calculating which books need to be relocated until he hears the clatter of bowls hitting the coffee table behind him.
“I figured we could eat in here today, more casual and all. Thank you for helping me make sense of where to put my stuff. I didn’t want to impose.”
“This is your home too now, you deserve to have space for your things. Yoongi wasn’t much of a reader. Thank you for dinner. I’m afraid you’re going to be in charge of feeding me a lot. I can always just order in but Yoongi was always on my ass for spending money on takeout.” He has the humility to look ashamed at his incapacity to nurture himself.
“No worries, it was kind of implied when he told me to take his spot. I like cooking, so I don’t mind, really. Tell me more about yourself though, I only know what Yoongi’s told me which is pretty much only that you produce music like he does. You’ve got an eye for art from what I can see of the prints on the walls.”
“Ah, actually those are all mine,” he blushes and points to a camera that takes a place on one of the higher shelves. “I like biking around and I figured it was a shame to see all the pretty landscapes without getting to commemorate them properly so I got into photography. I’m not a professional or anything but I enjoy it. I’m actually going to Comic Con this weekend with a group of my friends. They’re cosplaying and they wanted someone around to take pictures of them in costume. JK's actually got a pretty great Spiderman thing going on and it works for him with all the, you know, muscles and spandex.” He’s gesturing a little wildly over his body, as if you’re familiar with Jungkook’s physique.
“I don’t but I can imagine.” Your eyes are following where his hands had gestured over him, gaze roaming over the muscles he’s boasting himself. “You don’t happen to have any spandex hiding in your closet yourself?”
“Nothing like him, riding shorts for when I take particularly long bike rides. I don’t tend to favor it, they really ride up.” His sentence ends in an uncomfortable chuckle and he avoids your view, completely missing how your eyes have started to glaze over.
The small talk fades after that, replaced with the sound of chopsticks hitting the edge of bowls and the occasional slurps. You hold your chopsticks loosely between bites, your phone in your spare hand just mindlessly scrolling.
There’s a familiar tune coming softly from your direction, a low hum of a melody that triggers Namjoon’s receptors. He can place it pretty quickly, pop pop pop uh uh.
His hands take on a mind of their own. He doesn’t stop chewing as his fists go through the movement. Open palm, point, switch, zigzag.
He wouldn’t have even not realized what he was doing if a little giggle hadn’t interrupted the flow of the song. He freezes, eyes widening. It’s a slow pan of his eyes to look into his peripheral, as if not moving his head would somehow render him invisible and able to melt away from the embarrassing situation he’s caught himself in.
You’re doing your best to hold it in, lips nearly completely sucked into your mouth, teeth forcing them closed. He appreciates the effort but he can admit the jig is up. He picks his chopsticks back up with a little cough, gathering his bearings.
“It’s a catchy song,” he defends.
“Oh absolutely, it gets stuck in your head so easily. Even when hearing it off key and through the rush of running water,” you tease.
He pretends to be offended by that. “I’m a producer! I’ll have you know I have great pitch.”
“Of course, someone should tell Nayeon that she’s in the wrong key then. How embarrassing for her to be performing it that way.”
You both dissolve into laughter after that. The silence that follows feels a lot lighter than it previously had been and he breathes a little easier.
“Leave your dishes in the sink, I’ll take care of it in exchange for the cooking labour. I rarely break things anymore. Even if Yoongi won’t let me forget about his favorite mug. I still insist that the shape wasn’t ergonomic and that’s why it slipped out of my hand. He was so mad he refused to drink any coffee that day and knowing Yoongi you know how that was more a punishment for me than it was for himself,” he shares the memory of how grumpy Yoongi had been that day. They must have restarted the same beat half a dozen times. Suffice to say it wasn’t a very productive day and Namjoon owed him a new mug of his choosing.
Your first night together was fruitful. You’ve managed to unpack and meld your belongings with his, have dinner - where he didn’t kill himself in the kitchen - and bond over some banter. You’ve practically ingrained yourself in his life already and Namjoon isn’t sure if that’s good or a little terrifying. He’s not the type to usually feel comfortable with a stranger so quickly. He’s glad Yoongi had you take his place, he doubts it would have been this pleasurable if he had had to place an ad online.
There’s a ghost of a smile stuck on his face when he closes the door to his bedroom. Being alone in his room brings forth the thoughts he’d pushed aside back to the forefront. His computer monitor lights up the space, calling him back. The mixing board on his desk blares a signal he can’t ignore. He has a project to finish and the deadline is knocking at his door incessantly. He sits in his chair with a sigh and slips his headphones over his ears, blocking out the loud patter of raindrops on his window.
Tumblr media
He awakes with a start. His back is sore and his skin is damp with sweat. He’s too old to be falling asleep on his desk like this, he’s going to feel it in the morning. The room is pitch black around him. A quick jiggle of the mouse tells him the computer is dead and there’s a hint of panic at the thought of having lost his work. Rationale takes over to remind him that it automatically gets stored on the cloud at consistent intervals. They’ve learned their lesson too many times before implementing that.
There’s an odd irritation at the back of his mind and he realizes the thrum of the AC is missing. Ah, no power. The storm must have knocked it out. His muscles scream from the stretch and there’s more than a few uncomfortable cracks when he gets up and extends his arms above his head. He slips out of his clothes in hopes that more skin in contact with any air might help him cool down. Besides, he always sleeps in his boxers anyway. The air has dried up his throat and he can feel his body begging for water. He grabs the latest water bottle to litter his desk, tips it all the way upside down but not a drop comes.
He hopes he can traverse the apartment to the kitchen silently. Between his heavy footsteps and the stubborn squeaky floorboard outside his bedroom he’s worried about waking you. He sends a silent prayer into the universe that you’re a deep sleeper.
He does hit the floorboard, sending a creek into the night and he freezes for a second but no angry outbursts come from your room to scold him. He’s slowly taking a step in front of the other, carefully moving his weight from one foot to the next, the little smack of his sole hitting the wooden floor melding into the sounds of the rain still pouring outside.
The pressure from the faucet sends the water stream beating onto the metal of the sink and he hopes the curse he lets out fades into the night. He downs two whole glasses before he feels sated and prepares for the slow trek back to his room.
He’s just outside your door when the apartment flashes as lightning touches down in the distance. Namjoon stops moving as the roll of thunder comes quickly behind, nearly covering the strangled gasp from the other side of the door.
“Y/N? Are you okay in there?" The door to Yoongi’s room always had trouble latching since Namjoon drunkenly threw himself into the frame thinking he was heading into his own bed one night.
There’s a small crack where he can press his ear to. He holds his breath, straining to hear above the rattle of the heavy rain against the windows. For a second he believes he must’ve imagined it, or perhaps you’d shifted in your sleep.
He has one foot in the air, prepared to shuffle back to his own room when he hears it again. A choked sob hidden between the pitter patter of drops slamming against the glass.
He’s more insistent this time when he calls your name and pairs it with a soft knock against the wood of your door.
The noise seems to give you a spook because he swears you let out a high pitched ‘EEK’ in your surprise. There’s no additional verbal answer so he takes his chances on turning the knob and poking his head inside.
“Y/N? It’s okay, it’s just me. It’s Namjoon,” he reassures.
He can’t see a thing, the room is pure darkness. The streetlights outside have gone down with the rest of the power grid so he can’t tell if you’re hurt or might need help.
“Joonie?” There’s a soft voice coming from where he knows the bed is, muffled and timid.
“Yeah, can I come in?” he asks.
“Yeah,” comes an answer, meek and nearly whispered.
He hadn’t come into this room since you unpacked so he’s careful to take small, careful steps towards the bed, nearly bent in half with his arms out to feel for any furniture you might have moved into the path. He taps the bed tentatively when he finally reaches it, feeling long limbs under his palm.
He shyly takes his hands off you and makes his way towards the headboard, knees hitting the edge of the mattress as guidance. He reaches out again, expecting to find you but he only feels more blanket covered lumps.
“Are you hiding under the blanket?”
No words come but the hard shape under his palm moves in a nodding motion. He sinks down, kneeling onto the floor a little harder than he expected. Difficult to judge distance in the darkness.
“Can I pull the comforter down? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
The fabric moves under his touch until the feeling of goose down turns into silky hair. He moves his fingers down, grazing your ears until they reach your cheeks, damp and hot against his skin.
“Are you crying? What’s going on? Is moving away from home for the first time getting to you?” It definitely had for him at first. He’d go back to his parents’ house every night to have his mother’s cooking for dinner and only started spending the evenings at the apartment after his younger sister had mocked him about not being able to stay too far from his mother’s comfort.
You let out a shamed whine below him. “No…” He stays silent, waiting to see if you’ll share more. “The thunder woke me up and then I tried to turn on the light but it wouldn’t work. And-”
Lightning interrupts you and as the room flashes in sudden light Namjoon sees your face for an instant. Your eyes are wide, laced with red from the tears but one thing he can tell for sure is that in that second- you’re absolutely terrified.
Your breath gets shaky and there’s a twitch in your hands where he can tell you struggle not to throw the blanket back over your head to escape.
“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re afraid of the storm, I get it.” His grip on you tightens when he feels you tremble as the thunder rolls behind.
“You can say it. It’s stupid to be scared of storms. I’m just a big weenie.”
“I’d never call you a weenie, Y/N. You know, my friend JK is afraid of microwaves. Runs out of the kitchen and hides across his apartment every time he needs to heat something up. He’s convinced they’re going to blow up and take him with them in the blast.”
You snort, which is followed by a loud slap of skin on skin that he can only assume is you covering your mouth in response to the noise that just escaped. He’s huffing out his own chuckle in response. Adorable.
“Okay, so what are you afraid of then Mr. Tough Guy?” You’re more combative now. He’ll take that over the fearful demeanor you had a minute ago.
“Me? Hmm, I don’t think there’s anything too unusual. I’m not super fond of spiders, I suppose?”
“Spiders? But Yoongi told me you’re obsessed with crabs. They’re basically water spiders. They walk similarly and they’ve even got more legs!” Oh, you’re heated now but you’ve hit him where it hurts.
“How dare you!” The offended gasp he lets out overtakes the drone of rain coming from outside. “Crabs are cute little friends. I have half a mind to walk out and leave you alone in this storm after that.” He fakes getting up but a small hand digs into the flesh of his bicep.
“Don’t! Please. I’m sorry, crabs are adorable, you’re right. I was just kidding. Don’t leave.” He can hear the fear engulfing your voice in your plea.
“No, no, it’s okay. I was just joking. I’ll stay as long as you need.” He didn’t mean to trigger your panic again, especially since he had just gotten you to calm down a bit.
“You might be here a while then, it doesn’t seem to want to let up anytime soon.”
“No worries. Let me just get off my knees. I won’t be able to walk tomorrow if I spend all night bent like this.” He makes to switch to sitting on the floor but you stop him.
“Do you… uhm, want to lay on the bed? There’s more than enough room for two. I’m not like Rose, that bitch.”
“Are you sure? I can sit here, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You’d known each other barely 12 hours. He didn’t want to appear pushy in your vulnerable state. He’s enough of a gentleman to know to make space for the women in his life to ease themselves into his presence in a manner where they feel safe.
“Don’t worry. Yoongi told me enough about you for me to know you’re the least scary man on this planet. Only way you’d hurt me is if you fell on top of me, which I’ve been warned may happen more than I expect so be careful climbing in.” He feels you scooch over to the other side of the bed, leaving a wide open space for him to settle into.
There’s still some hesitation that weighs heavily in his limbs but when he sees how your body jumps when another bolt touches down and illuminates the room his resistance melts away. His movements are slow as he eases himself onto the mattress.
“Do you have enough space?” you ask.
If he’s being honest he’s certain half his body is teetering off the edge but he’s more concerned about overcrowding you. “I’m fine, don’t worry. You should try to sleep, you had a long day.”
You’re answering with a half hearted mumble and the room is overtaken with the battering of rain on the windows. Namjoon stays alert, hoping to feel your breathing even out to indicate that sleep has claimed you but it never comes.
“Are you still awake?” Your voice is barely a whisper and if he wasn’t specifically keeping an ear out, he would’ve missed it completely.
He turns onto his side, body now settled fully onto the bed with no risk of suddenly tumbling out with a wrong move. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Can we just talk for a bit? I think that’ll help me calm down.”
“Of course, as long as you don’t insult my little crustacean friends again.”
“Were you one of those kids that would do that shark chant? ‘Fish are friends, not food.’”
“Nah, Pixar and Bruce are wrong for that. Fish are food, crabs are friends.”
“You’ll have to give me a history lesson as to why kiddie Joonie came to that conclusion if Nemo wasn’t the inspiration.” There it is again, Joonie. Namjoon huffs out a little chuckle at hearing it, letting the nickname slip under it.
“Oh,” you gasp. “I’m so sorry, I should have asked before calling you that. Do you not like it? I’ll stick to your name. Or should I be using honorifics, oppa?”
Oh, he’ll have to unpack how his stomach flips with that last part but now isn’t the time for sudden self discoveries.
“No, no! Don’t worry, it’s cute. I just wasn’t expecting it. My friends usually stick to just Joon but you can get special roomie privileges.”
“I fear you’ll one day regret that. I’m going to be so annoying from now on.” He can hear how your words are blanketed in a mischievous teasing, and he believes you but won’t admit defeat that easily.
“You’ll have to give Tae a run for his money. If he pairs up with Jimin then they’re insufferable. Hobi is a saint for having them both under the same roof with him. You don’t know the guys yet but you’ll figure it out soon enough.”
It’s easy to imagine you already melding into his little group of misfits. He thinks back to dinner when you’d teased him about listening to that ‘girly’ song, and he knows he’ll soon be babysitting four wiley dongsaengs instead of three. Sometimes five when Jungkook manages to set Seokjin off. He doesn’t realize the smile that sets itself on his lips and it’s too dark for you to comment on it.
The bed shifts and your voice is suddenly closer, indicating you’d mirrored his movements and were now facing him.
“You talk about them a lot, your friends. Yoongi does too. You must all be really close.”
“We are, like brothers honestly. I have a younger sister but meeting Yoongi was the first time I felt like I had a hyung. He’s not much for declarations of affection but I love that dude.”
“He knows. You guys are all he talks about besides his music. He loves you, too. I can tell.” Namjoon never doubted that but it’s always nice to hear.
“What about you? Do you have any siblings?” It should be an innocent question but the silence that follows feels heavy and loaded.
“I did. My little brother. He was five. He spiked a bad fever one night and had to be rushed to the hospital. My father packed him up in the middle of the night while I slept. My mother woke me up at 4 am in hysterics. We drove to the emergency room and I watched my parents fall to the floor from across the room as the doctor told them he didn’t make it. I couldn’t hear what they said from that far away but it was obvious. I’m haunted by the sounds of the storm that was raging outside as the windows shaked around me. Acute bacterial meningitis.”
“Fuck, Y/N. I’m-”
“Don’t,” you interrupt. “Don’t say you’re sorry. You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that. It doesn’t bring him back, nothing will. I’m just left with distant memories of what his laugh sounded like, and this stupid fear of storms that just reminds me of the day my family broke apart.” Your words are being spit vehemently, your throat clearly closing up as it tries to choke back sobs.
Namjoon’s arms reach out to scoop you into his chest where you lose it in earnest. You hide into the crook of his neck as he can feel your resolve break. Tears hit his skin but he says nothing. There is nothing to say, he knows. You need something to hold onto as you let the emotions run their course and that’s something he can be for you.
It’s not too long before you catch your breath, great big gasps helping your body to settle back into rhythm.
“God, I’m so sorry. Having a breakdown because of some rain, trauma dumping, having a full breakdown. I must be making a great first impression as a new roommate.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re able to let it out. Bottling all that up would cause more damage.”
“Who knew I was shacking up with a therapist. It’s the same thing my counselor told me.” You’re back to teasing and Namjoon lets out the tension in his muscles that he didn’t realize he was holding. Your giggles fade off into a comfortable silence. The rain is still loud against the glass but the trembling that shook yo uhas subsided.
“‘Joonie? Can you hold me until I fall asleep?” Your voice is shy, the request bold for someone you barely know but he agrees without apprehension.
He expects you to burrow back into his chest as you’re already nestled in from your impromptu need for comfort but you surprise him by turning around and slotting yourself against him, back pushing into his front.
“Need to sleep on my left side. You don’t mind, do you?” After your revelation, he’d give you the moon if you asked, some spooning was an easy favor to fulfill.
He simply hums in agreement not entirely trusting himself not to put his foot in his mouth at that moment. He allows you to push back until you’re comfortable and slings his arm over your waist, letting his hand hang limp over your abdomen, careful not to push any unspoken boundaries.
You take it upon yourself to scoop his arm up and hold it close to you. Namjoon closes his fingers into a fist to avoid any accidental groping since his hand now rests on your chest, just above your breasts. He can feel the curve of them against his wrist, the mounds pressing into his forearm.
No! He needs to send his mind elsewhere. He tries to focus on the patter of the drops on the window. Pit pat. Would a roll of thunder fit into any of the songs he’s currently working on? What about the clap where the beat could drop? Anything to distract him from how warm you are beside him. The humidity of the storm only aggravates the heat that seeps through his skin, making it clammy and nearly wet. You, wet against him… NO! The heat is pooling at his crotch, the pressure rising when his blood is sent southward to fill a chub in his boxers. No, stop!
He’s trying desperately to inch his pelvis away from where your ass was resting against him. The universe is truly out for his demise because another round of lightning and thunder sends you jumping, forcefully seeking the hardness of his body against you. The grip on his arm turns vicious, your nails digging into his skin and your rear flies backwards in search of a seat and finds an unexpected obstacle.
Namjoon isn’t sure which sound rings louder. The gasp you let out at your discovery or his moan as his hips involuntarily thrust up against your ass. He doesn’t dare even breathe. What were you thinking? That your new roommate was a giant pervert? That he was taking advantage of the situation when all you asked for was some comfort in a time of need? Would you tell Yoongi? His hyung might be smaller than him but he has no doubt the older man could and would beat his ass into next week for this.
He seems to be the only one spiraling into a panic because instead of screaming and shoving him out of bed you only push back again. Your movements are tentative, slowly adding pressure and grinding your ass in circles against him as if trying to memorize the shape of him against your cheeks.
He slips his arm out of your grasp to bring his hand against your hip, pushing it down to pin you into the mattress and stop the maddening teasing.
“Y/N...” His voice comes out rough in between his teeth, a clear warning.
“Are you-?” You don’t need to finish your sentence with words, opting instead to push against his hold and roll your hips backwards again to feel the length behind you.
“I definitely am now since you can’t lie still. I’m trying to comfort you right now, so I am asking very politely to please have some mercy on me and go to sleep.”
For a second, Namjoon thinks he may have been too harsh.You’re quiet against him and he hopes he hasn’t triggered another round of distress with his tone.
The worries ebb when he feels your hand sneak behind to cup where his dick pushing against the fabric of his underwear. His eyes close when the pressure against the head sends little jolts of electricity flying through his body, a loud moan accompanying them.
“What if this is the comfort I need right now? Will you give it to me?” There’s a confidence in your voice now that had been missing when the sun went down. Namjoon is glad to hear it even if it beckons his doom.
He tries his best not to move, simply letting you tease along his length, your fingers wrapped around his cock through the thin fabric barrier. The drag is dry and nearly painful but he still twitches and wets a patch when your hand comes to squeeze at the head at every stroke.
You seem to take the lack of fighting back on his part as encouragement, and you push at the waistband to finally get under his boxers and meet the feverish skin hiding under them. He helps you reach your goal by shimmying the fabric down and under his balls, freeing his cock to let you handle it as you wish.
Your hand disappears for a second only to come back wet with spit and making the first tug of skin on skin both tortuous and heavenly. He can’t help but meet your fist with a thrust, precum dripping into your hand and easing the next strokes.
You’re showing your impatience when you grab his hand from your hip to aim it towards the waistband of your own underwear. You let him figure out the rest and go back to focus on jerking him off, a little harder this time as your hips roll against thin air.
He doesn’t keep you waiting too long, slipping his hand into your panties, realizing you’ve also opted out of sleeping with bottoms. His fingers plunge low and he’s surprised at how wet you are.
“All this just from rubbing against my dick a little bit?”
“No, I’ve been wet since you pulled me into your arms. Stupid thick biceps and big tits. Figured you’d notice it wasn’t just my eyes that were leaking.” Your words come staccato while your hips desperately try to chase his fingers.
He gives you what you seek and dips his middle finger into your heat. Your muscles contract around him, hot and so wet.
“Fuck, more,” you beg. You’re doing your best to clench around him but there’s not enough to bring relief.
“Impatient.” He wants this to last. He’s barely just gotten his hands on you after all the tension of the day finally snapping. He wants to savor it but you seem to have other plans.
“Namjoon, if you don’t start fingering me properly I’ll kick you out of this bed and do it myself.”
In any other situation he’d probably call that bluff, but he doesn’t want to risk you going through with it. He adds a second finger to your core and gets to work on a punishing rhythm. He uses the angle to his advantage and digs the heel of his palm against your clit to grind onto it with every thrust of his hand.
Your threats devolve into mewls. You’re trying to keep up your own pace against his dick but your grasp is loosening and losing rhythm. Hedoesn’t care. It allows him to focus on making you lose your mind, but you don’t seem to agree with the imbalance because you’re tugging him closer to you, tip bumping into the cotton of your panties. The need overtakes you and you’re ripping his fingers out of your pussy, letting it clench around nothing and mourning the loss. Your legs clamp shut to allow you to reach around and pull the fabric away from your entrance. You push back against his cock, trying to guide him through the darkness.
“In. Want you inside.” Your words aren’t quite begging but Namjoon can hear the plea clearlyin your voice.
“Fuck, Y/N. I should stretch you out more. I don’t think you should take it like this.” He knows he’s above average and he’s unsure that between the darkness and your horny haze you've realized quite what you’re up against in the short span of the mutual masturbation session that’s happened.
“I felt it. I know you’ve got a big dick. I don’t care. Fuck. Me.”
He hesitates to argue with you. He doesn’t want to hurt you but he can feel the warm wet heat enticing the head of his cock and it’s hard to ignore the call. He loses his battle and sinks himself into you. He brings his hand back to your hip and holds himself still as you shake through acclimating to his size.
“Oh god, fuck.” He can feel your pussy tightening around him, the pulses of your walls essentially jerking him off and it’s taking all his resistance not to start rocking his hips up to meet your ass.
“I-” He’s cut off as soon as he tries to start.
“You better not say ‘I told you so’ while you’re inside me or else you’ll never be again.” The possibility of this happening again shut him up pretty quickly.
He opts to try and ease you into the feeling, lets his hand trace along your skin, up to your torso. He peppers kisses down your neck and onto your shoulder. His hand seeks out a breast under your shirt and gently takes it into his palm, massaging the flesh as his fingers tweak at the nipple.
He tries to imagine what it must look like pebbled between his thumb and index; the color of them in contrast to your skin. He’s overwhelmed with the urge to slip it between his teeth and test how hard he could nibble at it before you broke, but the current position makes it impossible and he doesn’t dare switch it now.
Your breathing becomes heavier at every pinch and twist. He can feel your chest heaving under his hand and you’re melting against him. The chokehold your pussy has on his cock also lets up a little, allowing you to rock back and forth seeking more friction.
“I’m ready.” Your voice calls him back. “You can move. Fuck me.” He starts slow and careful, long languid strokes out until only the head stays inside you, and back in with a smooth confident thrust; letting as much of his length fit as he can from this angle.
He lets his hand wander once he feels you matching his strokes, backing up to meet him at each push in. Your skin is damp under his palm and the sticky feeling would usually bother him, but he’s too enthralled by the little noises that you make with each movement.
Your hand chases after his, following where he cups at your breast, pinches at your nipple, and he notes the hitch in your breath when his large palm settles loosely at the base of your throat. He’ll have to file that one away for another day.
You eventually seem to grow frustrated with his teasing touches because you drag his hand back south and into your underwear. He spreads his fingers around where the two of you are joined. He can feel your arousal coat his cock and your pussy stretch around him, sucking him in at every stroke.
He brings his fingers up to finally give your neglected clit the attention it’s been craving. You can feel how it’s throbbing with desire. You don’t bother trying to suppress the moan that comes out in nearly a scream when Namjoon presses against your bundle of nerves with skillful pressure and maddening circles.
It’s still slow. Everything is infuriatingly slow but you can’t find your voice through the groans and gasps to ask for more, so you let him set his torturous pace and drown in the electricity coursing through your body.
You take up the mantle that he’d been forced to leave behind. You feel too good to ask to change positions but you mourn the lack of his other hand which is forced under him, unable to wreck the same havoc on your body as its twin. Your right hand travels to your torso, attempting to mimic his earlier teasing while your left holds onto his wrist between your legs to keep yourself grounded.
You melt into his touch, head lolling into the pillow. Namjoon takes advantage of your neck opening up. He finally gets to use his right arm to push his upper body enough to dip his head down where your shoulder meets your neck to attach his lips to your skin. The added feeling of his teeth biting down, paired with a hard suck and lick of his tongue sends you reeling. You push back harder, urging him to thrust in rougher, as deep as the position allows.
“So big, Joonie. Can feel you so deep.” You’re pushing his buttons and it works. You’re riling him up and he lets it happen. You sacrifice the feeling of his fingers on your clit to bring them up just above your pubic bone and push down hard making the head of his dick hit against the front of your walls. You know he can feel it push against his hand every time he hits home.
You know when he registered what’s happening because he’s pistoning into you with renewed vigor, each thrust stronger than the one before. The new pressure from his hand makes everything feel euphoric.
“Shit, Y/N. So fucking tight around me. You feel so good, sweetheart.” The praise falls from his lips without thought and the endearment slips through with ease but there’s no time to focus on it. You’re clenching around him, being brought to the edge.
Your hand replaces where his had been, fingers wild and frantic on your clit, pushing you towards your orgasm. It doesn’t take long to hit and your body goes rigid in his arms. Your muscles scream as they twitch and the wave radiates out from your core and washes over you to the tips of your limbs.
The shaking in your body subsides but the throes of pleasure still buzz under your skin from where Namjoon hasn’t slowed. He continues to push and pull his way into your body, keeping the tension alive.
“You sound so fucking hot when you cum. Feel so perfect around my cock.” No words come in reply to his, only mindless moans answer the praise. You want to tell him how good he feels inside you too, how you still need him so desperately.
“More!” You manage to gulp through the overwhelming feeling surrounding you. “Want to feel you deeper.”
His hips stutter in response, your words hit him in the pit of his stomach. He wants to give you more, whatever you want but he can’t go any further from this angle.
“Gonna have to move us around for that, okay?” His voice is muffled from where his mouth is still dug into the crook of your neck, breath heavy near your ear.
You’re nodding without giving it much thought. Whatever he wants, he can do anything he wants. You’d agree to anything if it meant getting more of the addictive feeling coursing through your veins.
His cock slips out of you and you barely have the time to whine at the loss that a yelp escapes you instead as you’re hauled up and around to land firmly on his lap, underwear being ripped away in the switch, Namjoon now spread beneath you. Your hands fly forward to balance yourself, knees planted on either side of his hips.
“Holy hell, I was kidding earlier with the tits comment but…” You let your hands finish the implication as they grab at the flesh of his chest, nails digging into his skin. “Can you flex for a second?”
His muscles tense under your touch and you can’t help the groan that slips out in response. His chest is rock hard now and you feel your body rise with the strength imbued in it. You let your hands drift downwards, nails dragging behind. You wonder if the marks will still be there tomorrow for you to see the damage you're leaving in the light of day.
You can feel each bump on his abdomen where the muscles bulge out and dip back in. You’re surprised to feel the smooth velvet tip of his cock hit your hand so quickly. You’re barely halfway down his abs and the realization of how big Namjoon actually is sinks in.
The previous position wouldn’t have had him remotely close to fully sheathed inside you. The anticipation of really feeling his entire length has you grinding down and sliding along him, trapping him between his stomach and your sopping folds.
He bucks up to meet the pressure, hands holding firm on your waist, following the pace you’ve set. He lets you roll on him, his sensitive head catching on your clit and every loop which elicits moans from both of you.
He’s sure he could cum from this alone, but he’s aching to feel you sink down on him entirely. There’s a desperate plea on the tip of his tongue, an encouragement for you to lead him back inside but he keeps quiet. He wants you to make the decision and go at the pace you need. Despite the shift in situation, Namjoon still feels the vulnerability you’re under.
His hand drifts up, letting fire spread along your skin. The electricity in the air isn’t only from the storm anymore. He’s gentle as he cups your breast, content when he can feel your chest arching forward to chase after the pressure of his touch. Your nipple pebbles despite the hot and humid air.
“Perfect,” he murmurs under his breath. He’s sure it’s low enough to stay a private confession but the low moans mixed with your thighs tightening against his hips reveal otherwise.
The praise urges you on, reigniting your movements. Namjoon almost fears you’re moving away, off from your seat on top of him. His hands are quick to reach back for yours; a silent imploration to stay but they’re unnecessary. The pressure on his chest where you anchor yourself grounds him. There’s a shake where your balance falters so you can reach beneath you and grab at his cock, holding it straight towards your core.
The darkness hadn’t bothered Namjoon until this moment. He’ll rue this day for his entire life for stealing the vision of your expression as you slowly sink down on his entire length for the first time. The whimpers that escape, as you take each inch further, are only teases compared to the satisfied groan that comes once you’re fully settled back in his lap. The entire situation is torture. The heat of the stifling summer night is nothing compared to the scorching embrace of your walls around him. There’s aftershocks of your muscles spazzing around him that pair with more moans while you acclimate to the feeling of him inside you.
Namjoon’s mouth is dry and his brain is empty. There’s a strong instinct to move, a twitch in his arms to use his strength to lift you up enough to have you slam back down but he resists.
He can hear your breathing even out, big gulps of air diminishing to a more normal rhythm. You’re fidgeting, torso lowering to come parallel to his until your breath hits his throat. He doesn’t even realize your hand had snaked away until it lands in his hair and you pull on the strands to allow your lips to stroke at the cartilage of his ear, a warm tickle accompanying your words.
“You’re so big, Joonie. Feel so full.” He knows it’s the sign he was waiting for when you end the compliment with a strong squeeze that he can feel through his entire body. All the restraint he had exhibited snaps.
It all happens at once. He reaches for a fistful of your hair to keep you still as he clumsily seeks for your lips with his own. The kiss is aggressive and too full of teeth clanking together at first. It eventually melts into something more salacious. Your lips are hot and slippery but Namjoon is aiming for more.
You’re too distracted to notice that his stance has changed. He jostles you as he plants his feet into your mattress to give him the best angle to properly pound into you. The first hard thrust is paired with a well timed bite of your lip which has you opening your mouth with a shout of pleasure. He takes advantage of the position to delve his tongue into a battle with yours, turning the dirty kiss into an even wetter mess.
Neither of you can hear the storm over the slaps of skin, low groans, and high whines from inside the room. “You hear how wet this pussy is for me? Sound so fucking pretty, bet it looks even better. We’ll have to do this again, right? So I can see you leaking over my cock properly.”
If you’re answering him it’s unintelligible in the mumbles melted into the moans that continue to spill out of you. He’s taking it as an agreement from the tightening of your core around him.
His legs eventually lower behind you, pushing you to straighten back up and work to keep up the faltering rhythm. The heat and late hour seeps into your bones but the exhaustion that lies at the edge of your consciousness is no match for the fire in your veins that feeds the lust inside you. Your hands reach behind you and grab onto meaty thighs. God, you’ll need to talk about those in the morning because you don’t have the energy to trigger another round tonight. Your head falls, back arching towards the sky. It gives Namjoon the opportunity to roam your body, soft strokes and harsh grasps.
“Come on, Joonie. What good are those big biceps for if you can’t fuck me harder?” The taunt works like magic to reinvigorate him. Large hands come back to your waist, palms digging hard into your body above your hip bones. His thumbs aim towards your core, pushing into the softness above your pelvis. It’s not as obvious as the first position on your side but he can definitely feel the shift under your skin where the pressure of his thrusting cock pushes against his fingers.
“Shit, Y/N, never felt pussy this good. My perfect girl. Are you close? Can you cum for me, baby?”
“Y-yeah, so close- fuck. You feel so good.” It wasn’t a lie, you’ve teetered on the edge for a while but you just needed a little extra push. Namjoon’s hold on you is strong enough to allow you to sneak a hand to where the two of you are joined. There’s only a flash of pleasure before your fingers are slapped away.
“Nuh uh, my job. If you want to be touched a certain way just ask for it. You’re a big girl, use your words.”
If he kept talking to you like that maybe you wouldn’t need the extra help after all but that’s an experiment for another day. “Please, Joonie, want to cum. Touch me.”
He dares to slow the pace, still upkeep the long hard strokes that hit deep inside you. “Is that the best you can do? You’re about to cum all over my cock and I’m still just Joonie? You’re not being very clear, you know. I’ve got my hands on you, I’m already touching. Be more precise. What do you want, princess?”
He’ll be the death of you, you can already tell you’ve set yourself up. Your words are coming out in choked sobs, your climax on the brink. “Please!” you exclaim, “Namjoon, please play with my clit and make me cum all over your big cock.”
He didn’t expect you to take the bait so strongly, but you asked so politely, who would he be to deny your request.
“Good girl. I’ll give you anything you ask for if you do it like that. Look all innocent but you’re just a desperate little thing, aren’t you?” His words are paired with increased speed. He pistons into you with such force that you swear you’re floating above him. The world falls away when his thumb finally comes to rub tantalizing circles around your nub, the movement a little clumsy form how wet it is between your thighs.
It doesn’t take much to reach elation. White light explodes behind your eyes making you believe the power may have returned for a second. There’s electricity living in your nerves that travel down your limbs. There’s a rawness in your throat you assume was birthed from the scream that still echoes around the room.
You catch your breath on a pile of loose limbs draped over your new roommate’s huge frame. Your muscles are spasming from the outside in. You can tell that Namjoon definitely feel it from how tense his muscles feel under your fingers. You purposefully constrict around him and the answering grunt confirms your suspicions.
It takes a second to gather enough strength to sit back up while keeping him snuggly inside you. You wish you could look into his eyes as you roll your hips over him. You know it’s not as stimulating as the hard thrusts from earlier but the sweet sounds you hear from under you seem to have him perfectly content.
“Fuck, you never stop surprising me but you really need to get off because I can’t last anymore.” There’s a tension in his tone, one that you’d hear from someone holding onto a loosening grip that could result in falling to their doom.
You let the nail from your index dig into his skin and leave a burning sensation behind as your scratch down the valley of his pecs, from his clavicle to his abdominals. “Good. Then my plan is working. Your turn to cum for me.”
“Oh, I will. The second you get off me, it’s torture to keep it in, so please-” It’s his turn to beg but you’re not as ready to give in to his demand this time around. You only double your efforts, rolling hips and tight squeezes.
“Go on, then. You wanted me to ask for what I want? Cum. I’m safe and I want you to cum inside me, Namjoon.”
There’s black magic in the way you say his name, it’s hypnotizing. Or maybe it’s the imaginary visual of what you’d look like splayed out with his cum seeping out of you that does it.
He brings his fingers back to your sensitive clit and the pressure is almost too much. You nearly beg him to give you a break but he interrupts you before you can start. “One more time, with me. If you want me to fill up that sweet pussy, you’ll have to milk it out of me.”
You can’t tell whether it’s the pressure on your clit or the dirty words from his mouth, but the wave of pleasure comes back with a mighty force and crashes through you again. You can feel your core tightening around him in spasms which triggers his own release. You can feel his cock spurting inside you, an extra layer of warmth seeping into you. You can’t hold yourself anymore and flop onto Namjoon, both of your breaths heavy and labored.
His hand strokes comfort onto your back. You don’t even mind how sweaty you both are, sticking to each other. “We should get cleaned up,” he suggests.
You dig your face into the crook of his neck in protest. “No. Tomorrow. Don’t want to move. You still feel good, don’t want you to pull out.” You purposefully twitch to make your point. His cock may be softening but it’s still firmly plugging you up. You both know you’ll regret it in the morning but you couldn’t care right now.
The exhaustion you both feel settles into contentment as sleep pulls you in. You both fall asleep without even noticing that the storm has also fallen into slumber.
Tumblr media
Okay, so maybe Namjoon was a little dramatic about being abandoned because it’s only a week later when Yoongi is back in his old apartment from a weekend brunch date with his friends.
You and Jin are bonding in the kitchen. Yoongi can hear his boyfriend’s windshield wiper laugh mixed with your giggles that he’s always compared to a hyena. He expected the atmosphere to be a little awkward when he came in, both of the new roommates a little shy and fond of individual activities.
But when he let himself in earlier he found both his friends sharing the couch in the living room, each with a book in hand,which wasn’t surprising, but your feet perched on Namjoon’s lap, that was a little surprising.
He had let that slide easily enough. His suspicion returns simply from how much smiling Namjoon has been doing. Smiles wouldn’t be odd for most but Yoongi has heard that man’s music lately and he’s the definition of a Sad Boi™.
The pieces fall into place when you bring in the plates and there’s lingering. From your fingers on Namjoon’s when you exchange the dish to his eyes on your ass when you turn away. Yoongi stares Namjoon down, deadpan. His friend’s eyes widen in panic once he realizes he’s been caught. Yoongi’s always been able to read him like a book.
“You motherfucker,” Yoongi spats at him just as you reenter the room.
“Now now, Yoongles. Do we need to call Dr. Lee to go through your mommy issues again? We’ve already established I’m not your mother.” You take a seat on Namjoon’s lap as if to make a point. “Besides, there’s only one person that gets to call me mommy now.” The look you and Namjoon share might be the final drop that makes him go dig for his old psych’s number that night.
2K notes · View notes
vaguely-concerned · 1 year ago
Text
it probably says something either sad or deeply unfortunate about me as a person, but I'm darkly amused to see some people react to the reveal of the ultimate permeability of souls in tlt as a triumphant thing -- the "you can't take 'loved' away!!!" side of it all -- when my first reaction was such an immediate wave of 'oh, oh so this is why this series is horror, I truly understand now' distress haha. ngl the final confirmation of the self not being inviolable in the deepest way freaks me the fuck out far more than any moment of body horror in the series has managed. (these two elements are of course the two sides of one thematic coin; it's about the horror of our bodies and minds and selves not being inviolable things, and about the effect of violence on them on so many different levels. violence psychological and interpersonal, physical, subtextually sexual, emotional, medical, political, a whole unlovely smörgåsbord of indignity and violation a person can be exposed to, and on a broader scale the spectrum of violence colonialism wields). The world and other people being capable of leaving indelible marks on us for good or ill through their presence in our lives is of course a pretty self-evident demonstrable truth in the real world, but somehow having it be proven metaphysically just uh. Fucks me up! 
It also drives home to me just how perfectly Muir has captured the dilemma at the heart of human connection and intimacy: the fact that the thing that gives us life and meaning is also capable of harming us so deeply. the same thing that can be so beautiful — even in a bittersweet, violently transformative form like with the creation of Paul — when done mutually and consensually and compassionately, is the same process that means someone like John can touch someone else's soul and 'after he's put his fingers on something, you'll never find anyone else's fingerprints on it; too much noise'. I think the text itself — the whole series, because to me this is what it is ultimately about, this tension between individuation/self vs. love/connection/enmeshment — is far more ambivalent in its treatment of it than saying it’s inherently a good thing or inherently a bad thing. The only thing it says for sure is that it is always a thing, that thinking you’re ever getting away from it is the height of futility, and that through being alive (or even through being dead lol) it is something you have to engage with in some way no matter what. Contact with other people is deeply necessary — without it we sicken and die. it can be the most beautiful and meaningful thing in a human life, and the most unspeakably horrific. All of these people are searching for some way to be whole, whether in total self-contained sufficiency on their own or in melding with someone else as their ‘other half’, and stumbling around in the dark they reach for each other and score deep wounds into the thing they’re trying to touch even when they don’t mean to. Taken to horrific extremes with the form of lyctorhood John guided his disciples to when they were ‘children — playing in the reflections of stars in a pool of water, thinking it was space’, because while people hurt each other all the time with differing levels of intentionality behind it, what John did was deliberate. It weaponizes the misapprehension of what closeness must be and destroys everyone involved in the process… and all because it leaves John the one sun their ruined lives have left to orbit around, because that’s the closest thing his soul will allow to connection. He doesn’t understand that to truly touch something you have to truly let it touch you back, and then wonders why he’s never satisfied.   
‘The horrors of love’ has been memed to death, I know, but… yeah. That is what it is, isn’t it.
1K notes · View notes
intuitively-her · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Why are people crushing on you?
Pile 1- (The moon, 8 of swords, 3 of cups rx, The empress rx, Queen of swords, 5 of wands rx, 4 of pentacles rx)
People can tell that you have a wall up. You never fully tell others about yourself. You give them just enough. It keeps people on their toes with you. You’re a puzzle that’s impossible to solve.🤭 Especially to people that want to befriend you. They can tell that you’re more of an introvert, but this makes you even more attractive! They like how you’re shy, but also not afraid to speak up for yourself and others. Others like how you’re always 10 steps ahead of them. It makes people wanna look up to you. I feel like you have a more dominating personality at times as well. You’re an ice queen/king.💙 Women especially love when you assert your dominance over them. Others can tell you’re feeling stuck in a situation currently and it has you feeling indecisive. They want to save you from this. You attract a lot of people with a savior complex. People can tell that you have this light energy deep inside. You have a heart of gold, but you’re ice cold on the surface. Even tho you’re stingy with your love and energy to strangers, you give plenty of it to those closest to you. People love how you hold your family/friends to a high standard. You’re actually a very generous sweetheart once people get to know the real you.🥰
Pile 2- (3 of swords, 2 of cups rx, 10 of swords rx, 8 of cups, King of pentacles rx, Page of wands, Strength, 10 of cups)
People really admire how you bounce back after a breakup. You had to walk away from a lot of bs in the past. For some, even your family. You’ve been through many betrayals in your life. You never let it break you tho. You’re like a lion/lioness.⭐️ People love how independent you are and how well you take care of yourself at your age. You’ve built a new home of happiness for yourself.🙃 For those of you that left your family, there’s someone here that’s proud of you for leaving that toxic situation behind. The things you’ve been through have fueled your lust for life. You’ve grown into such a fearless person. People love your curiosity. You’re always the one asking questions and finding the truth. People also really love how you’re not money driven. This pile gives me the vibe of someone that has a lot of money but you’re not materialistic. You could also be rich but you choose to dress down and avoid being too flashy.
Pile 3- (Queen of wands rx, Queen of cups, The star, The moon, 7 of wands, 2 of wands, 2 of swords rx, 3 of pentacles rx)
Your energy is so vivacious and intense! It’s all eyes on you anywhere you go.🤷🏽‍♀️ I’m getting strong Leo energy from this pile. You’re someone that’s well-known in your school/community, even if you don’t think so. People love how you take charge of your life. Your independence is greatly appreciated. Your teachers/professors love this especially. They can tell that you’re not one of those students that needs to be babied. People also love your balanced thinking. You never rush your plans and you have a clear vision on what you want/need. You’re fearless! You live life like you’re playing the lottery. Unafraid to gamble with yourself. 🎰 You might prefer to work alone mostly or you take the lead in group work. This is heavily admired by others. It makes them think, “wow pile 3 could teach me a thing or two.” Many people look up to you because of your amazing work ethic. People think you’re gonna blow up one day and become an overnight celebrity.🙈 Many people have been crushing on you because you’re a sweetheart!💖 For my men reading this, women especially love your aggressive nature. People love your “macho man” attitude.🤣 You hold so much compassion and care for others. Even a simple smile to a stranger can transform their whole day. Your energy is very warm and comforting. It makes people wanna open up and get close to you. You’re the perfect mix of sugar and spice.❤️‍🔥
Pile 4- (5 of pentacles, 10 of wands, Ace of pentacles rx, The emperor rx, Justice, The chariot, Judgement, 2 of cups, The Mother Star)
You’ve been through a lot of adversity in your life. It seems like you’ve had a string of bad luck recently. You’ve lost a lot financially. For some of you, you lost your job or someone stole money from you. You could’ve felt tied to your responsibilities or you do now. People love when you’re dependent on them or you need their help. It can be as simple as someone helping you carry a box. You have this “helpless and naive” vibe to you. Even if you’re not, that’s just how people perceive you. People admire you because you don’t follow the rule book of life. You love to follow your own path and figure shit out along the way. You make people realize that they don’t need to have their whole life figured out right now. You could be in high school or college currently. You could have an indie or bohemian clothing style. People really love the jewelry and accessories you add to your outfits. Especially if it’s related to your culture. People absolutely love your hair! Especially the color of it. 3 of the cards I pulled show a girl with waist-length red hair. People think your girlfriend material. They love what a great friend you are. You may be the “mom” friend of your group.
630 notes · View notes
werecreature-addicted · 1 year ago
Note
Hiii!!! Adore your account, and I think you may have seen me lurking about a bit 👀👀
I was just wondering if you have time and if it’s your thing, would you maybe write a little thing for a werewolf mate who actually hates exhibition/sharing? Like pretty much every monster/shifter story or book I read has something where the non human counterpart loves the idea of their pack/clan/kin etc etc hearing them have sex or wants them to see so they can like ‘witness their prowess’ or whatever, but I am in LOVE with the idea of a werewolf hating that idea, loathing the idea of anyone seeing you in such an intimate position together or god forbid sharing you-
Of course don’t worry about it though, I saw you had lots of asks and get tons each day so no pressure!!! 💞
Tumblr media
Monster boyfriend who is so possessive he doesn't even want to kiss you in front of other people, the cute little sigh you make when he kisses you is for his ears only.
What's worse is that no one else but you knows how he gets, he's such a gentleman, in public, a perfect respectful boyfriend, no one believes you when you say that he fucks you until you can't walk the moment none one else is around.
The thought of any of his pack mates or of any other soul seeing you naked makes him growl. The closest he ever gets to any kind of exhibitionism is pulling you away from a party to make out in a closet because he was just so desperate. Even then it's just kissing.
He will not hesitate to drag you somewhere private if he's feeling needy enough and other people are around. Don't get me wrong, he loves his pack mates and he likes your friends, werewolves are social creatures, and he'd never turn down a party...but he gets just a little jealous when you give your attention to other people, and the best way to soothe those feelings of jealousy is to fuck you until you forget your own name.
he'll take you just about anywhere that's private enough, the back of his car, or of course, home. but His favorite place to fuck you is easily the deep heart of the forest. No one but the animals to hear you scream, his house is deep in the woods for the same reason, no need to disturb the neighbor's monthly transformations or the sounds of rough werewolf sex.
1K notes · View notes
derpydoteddrake · 1 month ago
Text
An analisis on the symbolism of this shot and what it means for Jayce and Viktor
Tumblr media
(this does not contain any le*ks, only material that has been officially released so far.)
But first to understand what this shot means, his connection to the new magic and how this relates to his relationship with Viktor, we need to look at what his bracelet represents.
He got the crystal for his bracelet by a mage who saved him from an impossible situation, this implanted in him a lifelong obsession with the idea that if he could give this tool to people, he could greatly improve the lives of many.
Tumblr media
But since he knew they would not allow experiments like this in Piltover in normal circumstances, he needed to do it in secret. This is what at that moment the bracelet represents.
His conviction is so strong, this goal is so important to him that he made the reminder of that fateful encounter something that he can not just carry, but wear it on himself everywhere he goes. However it is hidden, the same way he needs to hide his research.
Tumblr media
But then he is found out, his research is going to be destroyed, and he loses all hope in completing his dream. So he takes the bracelet off, as a symbol on how he is given up. But then Viktor comes into the picture.
Tumblr media
He gives his bracelet back and with it his hope for his dream, it's no longer something he has to burden himself alone, it's not just Jayces dream anymore, and so he declares: our hextech dream.
Tumblr media
And this gesture and this declaration changes the meaning behind this bracelet, it's not just a symbol of his dream anymore, it's now a symbol of their shared dream of helping people and in turn their relationship and partnership.
Tumblr media
This thematic connection is later emphasized when he complains about being useless in the face of Viktors illness and his frustration about not being able to develop the technology he wants to and he reflexively tuches it.
Tumblr media
And after he no longer needs to hide it and he can fully pursue his dream, he puts it on proud display, he turns the crystal upside down and even has clothing that lets his bracelet show, he is proud of they work and he shows that off.
Tumblr media
But in the shot we got for the crystal to embed itself in that way, he needed to turn the bracelet upside down. And why would he do that? Well, he would need to be so disillusioned with their dream, so ashamed of letting Viktor down that he doesn't even want to be reminded of it.
Tumblr media
I dont think it's a controversial thing to say that Jayce will have a chance to destroy the core and he won't, which initially Viktor will be mad about, but later allow Viktor to do his shenanigans with it. Thematically that would make sense.
But the bracelet isn't just worn in a different way, that would be reversible, the crystal is literally burned into him with a crack in the middle. It is irreversible. What does that symbolize?
Easy, they didn't just lost they dream,
THEY DREAM IS DEAD
Tumblr media
The crystal is no longer a symbol of his hopes and dreams and a wonderful relationship, It is a symbol of his failure to do good with hextech, broken promises, and letting down his closest friend.
it is grotesquely melted into him forever, a reminder how he cannot escape the reality he helped create. Giving hextech to people is no longer a dream, it is real and it's a nightmare, he didn't improve anyone's lives who needed it, he made weapons to oppress.
Tumblr media
And the gem is cracked in the middle, mirroring his broken relationship with Viktor, the man he let down over and over again, he wasn't there when he needed him, he went against his will and made weapons, and he failed to fulfill his promise to him.
Tumblr media
Since we saw Viktor will gain the ability the transform people, I would teorise that he will be the one who will melt the crystal and metal into him in a heated argument. (tho his powers are distinctly purple)
Tumblr media
It is not something he wants to remember, but it is something he will have to carry for the rest of his life.
And now Viktors mind is twisted, he was not strong enough to destroy the core when his mind was still intact and now Viktor commits horrific acts in the name of trying to do ultimately good.
And so the bracelet is not just a reminder of his failure, but also a reminder of the promise he will have to fulfill one way or another.
Tumblr media
123 notes · View notes
Text
Request from @witheringpain - Could you make a headcanon of how all the autobots/decepticons would react if you died in a war (G1) ?
Will do 🫡🫡🫡
Tumblr media
Sorry this is so late but I’ve got so much going on I’ve ended up going through my requests at a snails pace lol.
I haven't done transformers requests in 3-4 years so hello pls don't beat me up over this but here we go anyway:
Warnings: Character Death (Reader), Heavy Descriptions Of Gore And Violence, Themes Of Grieving And Depression
Tumblr media
Autobots: (This is mostly Optimus-centred but I included most of the Autobots reactions because this first part was already too long to repeat for each separate character – I’ve also made it platonic)
Also PLEASE keep in mind that I’ve only seen short clips of G1, which is why I don’t write for them often, so the characters may seem a little OOC – if they are I apologise but it’s the best I could do
Tumblr media
Ooooh boy, they’re not gonna like that
Let’s say you’re Optimus’s bestie (along with the other autobots ofc)
And let’s keep in mind that G1 Optimus is not as calm/ level headed as TFP Optimus and not as ‘death/kill/angry/rage’ as Bayverse Optimus
So he’s not gonna go round on the battle field murdering left right and centre
But he’s also not gonna just stand there
He’s more likely to turn towards the loud gunshot behind him and watch as your body hits the ground and take a moment
Like it’s not gonna click instantly
He probably thinks you’ve been shot in the leg and he waits a second for you to scream or writhe around in pain
But then your body lops to the side and he sees your eyes frozen wide in shock, with a gaping bullet hole still sizzling and steaming away in the middle of your forehead
And when I say it hits them all
It hits them
HARD
Optimus sort of just stumbles for a moment cuz he can feel every part of himself short-circuit
He also thought his audio receptors had stopped working
But no
It’s the battlefield
It’s dead silent
Everyone seems to have just stopped
He can’t see (cuz he literally cannot take his eyes off your body) but Prowl and Ratchet are nearest
And they’re desperate to run to him but the fact that he’s so still
Ratchet doesn’t dare go near you for a hot minute because it’s not normal for Optimus to be still for that long.
Prowl’s too busy trying to see who shot you, and eventually he spies the steaming barrel of the gun from across the field and he’s instantly seeing red
The decepticon that owns said gun doesn’t look any better
You can practically hear him from how much he’s shaking
Eventually, the dead silence is broken
“What did you do?”
It’s Megatron
He might be Optimus’s sworn enemy
But he knows when to not cross a line
As in murder Optimus’s closest friend
Megatron only murmured it since he was only frozen in place a few metres away
But it was loud enough to break whatever spell Optimus was under
Both decepticons watched in terror as Optimus’s head snapped towards them, his optics wide and glowing brighter than ever
And you know what’s even worse?
His face guard is gone
Sheathed away and full face on display
Now, let’s clarify that you, are the only person in the existence of ever, to know what he looks like under the mask
And the fact that everyone can see his full face right now shows exactly how out of control his emotions are right now
He’s heaving, he’s shaking, and there’s coolant streaming down his face because guess what cybertronians can cry
In his millions of years fighting wars, Megatron can’t recall a time he’s ever seen such despair on a bots face
Let alone on Optimus
The sounding of creaking metal brings everyone’s attention back on Optimus
And it takes a moment for everyone to realise where the noise is coming from but soon enough they watch as his servo tightens even more around his axe, the creaking noise becoming louder
And all of a sudden everyone’s like:
Oh shit
The decepticon that shot you is like
Shit shit shit shit
And Megatron accepts he’s gonna be a Con down after today because looking at the state that Prime is in he knows it’s not worth it
He looks to the Con who is pleading for help with his eyes and just shrugs
“I think you’re on your own now :)”
Megatron along with everyone else takes a step back as Optimus begins to move
He’s not running, no
Just walking
His optics not moving from the con in front of him as he strides over.
Eventually the con drops his gun with a cry and frantically runs into the woods behind him
But Optimus keeps his speed at walking pace
Which is even more terrifying
Megatron just moves aside raising his hands in surrender as he passes
Because a heaving, blank-faced, mask-less Optimus unconsciously dragging a weapon behind him is not something he wants to try and pester right now
Soon Optimus disappears into the woods after the Con
And everyone remains silent and unmoving as they listen
Pedesteps every now and again are heard from within the trees
Minutes pass and no one is yet to move, too occupied with straining their audials for a noise
Though it isn’t long until everyone flinches as a terrified shriek rips through the air, causing the birds to scatter
A string of frantic pleads of help follow
Until they are replaced with screams as loud clangs of metal on metal are heard
But soon the screams are drowned out by the clangs and soon enough the sounds of the Con are no more
But the clanging doesn’t stop
It just keeps going in a steady rhythm
Until one final loud smash reverberates through the air
And it is silent once again
Everyone else takes this as their cue
Megatron instantly transforms and takes off
And it isn’t long before the rest of the Decepticons follow, leaving the Autobots to themselves
The following silence is soon broken as Ratchet finally moves towards your body
Wiping the coolant that won’t seem to stop streaming down his face, he kneels down to scoop your lifeless form into his arms
Prowl drags himself over to you both, his pedes never feeling so heavy
With a dark solemn look on his faceplates, he stares at your corpse in the medics arms
After a moment, he slowly lifts his servo towards your face, where your face is still frozen in a terrified expression
And as gently as he can, he takes two digits and places them above your optic lids before sliding them closed
That seemed to be a tipping point for Ratchet as he broke down in heaving sobs
His frame trembling as he tried to keeps both himself and you balanced as everyone around looked at him in both surprise and pity
This is a first because Ratchet is probably the least likely to react so emotionally to death
He been witnessing it almost every day for the past few million years after all
But you were someone special
Someone he thought would be the last person to die so suddenly
Someone he thought he would have time to save, and time to grieve
But that’s what war does
It has no mercy with anyone
No matter who someone is and how special they are
And Ratchet thought he had come to terms with that idea
But the scene he gave showed everyone he hadn’t quite accepted it fully
Prowl wanted to break down too
He wanted to scream into the heavens and beyond, cursing out those who took you from them but also hoping you could hear him
A sign to show that you were still here with them
But he knew it would prove useless
And with Ratchet gone too far into his own mind
He knew it was his turn to be the level headed one
Now wasn’t the time to flip tables and punch walls
He didn’t want to show his emotional instability in front of the others
So he joined Ratchet by his side, a servo slowly soothing up and down the medic’s trembling back struts.
He noted that Optimus still hadn’t returned from the woods
But that wasn’t who he was concerned about at the moment
As if on cue, three sets of bouncing footsteps along with energised voices were heard as they got nearer
Everyone tensed at the sound, and slowly turned towards the outstretch of cliff nearby where the voices owners would soon be revealed
Prowl left Ratchet’s side after one last reassuring pat, leaving the now slightly calmer bot to cradle you
Turning the corner, he was met with two bright sets of yellow and one red
Bumblebee, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had returned from their reconnaissance, playing and shoving at each other joyously after a seemingly successful mission, ready to hear what had become of the fight they missed
Though that all halted when they caught sight of a silent Prowl who was suspiciously not scolding them for returning so late
Coming to a stop, they eyed him, Sideswipe talking first:
“We just saw Megatron and his goons flying away! Did you flip enough tables to scare them off or something?”
That set the three of them into another fit of giggles
But coming to a stop again at the sight of Prowls door wings not springing up in frustration like they usually do
“Say Prowl, what’s got your tailpipe in a twist?” Sunstreaker piped up
Prowl opened his mouth, and got exactly one vowel out before going silent again. He did this several times before eventually giving up.
Ok this was different
Prowl always has something to reply with
“What happened.” Demanded Bumblebee
Despite being a joyous bot, Bumblebee knew when it was time to be serious, and Prowl being lost for words meant that only the worst could have happened
Prowl tried to reply again, but his voice box betrayed him for a second time
Without a second thought Bumblebee strode ahead, brushing aside Prowls outstretched servo and rounded the corner
At a first glance all he could see was every bot crowded around something, but when he called out they all parted to reveal something he wished he could never see
A pained cry of despair echoed throughout the forested valley, and Sideswipe and Sunstreaker didn’t hesitate for a second as they sprinted around the corner to their friend with Prowl hot on their heels
The sight before them was the one thing they never wanted
Bumblebee was being held back as he tried to reach for whatever Ratchet had in his arms, howling and crying out as he stretched his arm as far as he could
The two bots rushed to try and help the others in restraining him, but both stumbled in shock as they caught sight of your lifeless corpse
Soon the bots had to be divided as they wrestled the three young bots that were wailing in anguish for their friend
Bumblebee had given up at this point, his head on Prowls shoulder as he stared at you with a glazed unmoving expression
The twins were worse off, crying and screaming in everyone’s faces until their voice boxes gave out, demanding what had happened and why they weren’t able to save you, why Ratchet wasn’t able to save you, but all the bots and the medic could do was look down to not make any further eye contact.
Not long after the screaming match another set of footsteps were heard getting nearer, and a hush fell over everyone, including the twins after pleas from the others, as they all stared at the silhouette emerging from the foliage
As the bot moved into the sunlight, everyone’s optics widened at the sight
Optimus had returned, but he was barely recognisable
Well
You could still tell it was him
But his paintjob was almost unidentifiable
Blue and red peeked through the streaks and smears of pink and magenta, the energon from the unlucky con splattered all over his frame
The worst parts were on his axe and up his arms, his paintjob covered almost entirely with energon still dripping from those areas along with chunks of metal that slowly slid down his frame, looking suspiciously similar to the con’s paintjob
The most horrifying part, though, was his axe
Which looked like it had come straight out of a horror movie
Through the energon and bits of metal that covered the blades, one half seemed to have bent, the blade curving in a way that would fit a cybertronians head shape after hitting it with the force of a mountain
Which is probably what happened
It’s also probably what made that extra load bang at the end
But no one really cared about that
They were too busy trying to figure out what Optimus would do next
Which was a bit difficult considering he was just standing there not saying a word and just staring ahead into the distance
A beat passed before shuffling was heard and Bumblebee broke away from Prowls embrace and rushed towards the Prime
Despite everyone wanting to stop him, they were too scared of going near Optimus at this point
Reaching Optimus, Bumblebee threw himself around him, not caring about the height difference
This seemed to bring Prime out of his trance, half lidded optics looking down at the smaller bot
Though it wasn’t long before Optimus gently pried Bumblebee’s servos away, holding them in his own
The bots watched albeit tense as the taller bot stared down at his smaller companion
All it took was for Bee to look up whilst blinking back tears of coolant for Optimus to drop his axe with a clang and scoop him into his arms, their helms buried into each other’s neck cables, and Bumblebee’s sobbing started up again
After a minute, they pulled away from each other, and Bee tried to say something through the hiccupping of his voice box, but the Prime stopped him with a servo on his shoulder and a small smile that was far from reaching his optics
Which everyone could see since he had yet to re-engage his mask
But they made sure not to bring it up
Soon Optimus was back on his pedes and picking up his axe, gently leading Bumblebee back to the group
Reaching Ratchet, he placed a servo on his shoulder
“Let’s get them back to the ship old friend."
Tumblr media
Decepticons: (This one’s a bit shorter I’m afraid – I struggled with coming up with anything for anyone else so this is more headcanon-y)
Warnings: Character Death (AKA YOU), Heavy Descriptions of Gore, Themes of Grieving and Depression.
Tumblr media
Now with the decepticons it can be a little different
Depending on what kind of relationship you’ve formed and with who
The Autobots are all tight knit in some way
Whereas with the cons
You could’ve been working with them for eons
But if you’re just another soldier that has been recruited
Then those higher up aren’t gonna bat an optic
They might notice your posts being replaced
But that’s it
However
If you’re higher ranking and have formed some type of relationship with them
Then things are going to go down differently
Soundwave would be inconsolable for a while
The only ones allowed near him were his minicons
Who would scuttle out his berthroom to grab some energon for their robodad, before quickly disappearing back into the dark room
He wouldn’t come out until Megatron demanded entry
And the minocons along with a few others would wait around the corner in the corridor
Tying to get within earshot but failing nonetheless
Megatron then walked out, not bothering with the troops who scattered as soon as he appeared
It would be another day before Soundwave would emerge
But he wouldn’t answer anyone about how he was
He simply got on with his tasks as he did before
Overworking so much that he would have to be dragged to recharge
Life would resume as normal
But during his weekly spying sessions through the security cameras
Starscream would note the pauses the quiet con would take
Each time in the exact same spot
Standing in front of the doors to the comms room where you had worked
Staring in as if he was looking for you to spring out on him
But you never did
Speaking of Starscream
It’s a bit of a 50/50 with him
You could be any rank
And considering how desperate he is to overthrow Megatron and lead the Decepticons
There’s a chance that he could be so obsessed and caught up in his scheming
That he just doesn’t have the spare time to get to know you or basically care about you in any way
But if we went with the other half
And you were someone he had befriended and roped into his overthrowing plans
Then your death would throw him off track big time
It would take him forever to comprehend the fact that the one con he could trust properly on his ship was in pieces that were now drifting somewhere through space
To the other cons he was just being himself after your death
So just annoying
Complaining how he now had to figure out how to achieve the tasks he had set you for universal dominance as well as his own
But the heaving sobs and wails that echoed through the ships corridors late at night said otherwise
Ravage made the unlucky mistake of walking in on Starscream as he curled up underneath his desk
Though not much time was spent inside as Ravage high tailed it out of there, narrowly dodging something being thrown as the seeker screamed for them to get out
Skywarp and Thundercracker had a hard time as well
Feeling the immense grief flowing through the bond of their trine mate’s spark as they watched him brush you off as just another accomplice in front of everyone else
Now
Onto boss man
Megatron would practically explode
He would be throwing himself into every battle and every autobot he can get his servos on
The one commander, apart from soundwave, he could trust with his life
Gone
In a puff of smoke
Well..
More like an explosion
AKA you were blasted to smithereens before he could pull you free from the collapsing power reactor
He would be frozen in place, your decapitated servo still grasped in his own
Bits of wiring and armour plating surrounding him on the floor
Along with the pink flames of your energon that had ignited as it hit the burning debris
He doesn’t quite remember what happened next
All he could recall were flashes of the bodies of other autobots as he tore them apart
And he found himself sat in the medbay, glaring unfocused at the metal floor
And now, in his berth room eons later, he still finds himself staring at the floor
Feeling as useless as the glass case that sat upon his shelf
Where a single servo laid, refusing to rust
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Return to Navigation
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for reading! I will reopen requests at some point, but for now, I'll be posting what I've already written. See you soon!
Do not repost
Tumblr media
415 notes · View notes
blueishspace · 17 days ago
Text
NON-WINNERS LIFE SERIES MEMBERS as celestial objects since they might eventually become winners. p.2
(Part 1)
I know I promised this one would all be non planets but there is one exception since I changed my mind on Gem and felt this one fit better.
Gem - Mercury.
Tumblr media
Closest to the sun and the one that receives the most light, not only is Gem always connected to the sun but also a connection to Dawn.
Small but extreme, with a side extremely hot and one way colder. It's alzo extremely fast.
Mercury is the ruler of the zodiac sign of the Gemini which I feel is important to take into account when talking about GEMINItay.
Named after the roman god it has a close association with speed and transformation. Mercury in mythology is a trickster that changes forms often and does whatever he pleases, that's extremely close to Gem's shapeshifter lore that carries her between all the smp's she does. Also tell me you don't see it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ok, now, back to the non-planets.
MumboJumbo - Black Hole.
Tumblr media
I have to admit that this one has way less logic behind it, mostly vibes but c'mon... You guys have to see it, right? So much mass piled onto itself... Also it would be so funny.
Impulse - Pulsar.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Listen this one doesn't make much sense except for the name but come on, look at it, It's Amazing! And we can have a shape that isn't a circle! It literally looks like an ¡ and an ! put together. Also neutron stars are covered in a perfectly plain crust of pure iron so it looks like a normal ball... Kinda like Impulse who look like the most normal one but is as insane as everyone else.
Ren - Nebula
Tumblr media
Fancy, dramatic, colorful, even theatrical. Only a nebula works for someone as special as Ren. Also this one also looks sorta like a crown which made me think of him almost immediately.
Extra
Sonam- Oort cloud.
Not a player but has appeared in rare cases in chat as he leaves the game, irl they are the secondary admin so I chose for them the sphere of asteroid invisible to naked eye that protects the solar system from what is outside.
Tumblr media
68 notes · View notes
irisintheafterglow · 1 year ago
Text
You Are In Love (Gojo Satoru x You)
summary: you can't stop dreaming about him, and your friends start to notice a change in your behavior. (2.4k words)
cw/tags: mild angst to comfort, friends to lovers, pining, idiots in love, profanity, elder sorcerers being assholes, pet names (doll, gorgeous, etc), uhh gojo loses his cool and blows up a building lol, kissing, one instance of foreshadowing manga spoilers but only if you squint
note: HELLOO GOJO NATION. ok so i'll be so honest with you, this stupid man was my #1 for so long and i think those feelings resurfaced so i got a little carried away with writing this (it's my longest fic so far, my bad). but yk something about gojo, hawks, and kuroo all being played by the voice actor just gets me. the prompt for this is from the AMAZING @creativepromptsforwriting and was supposed to be a drabble but turned into a full fic. anyways, hope you enjoy it!!
likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated!
Tumblr media
“It’s too quiet. Can I tell you guys a joke I heard on TV?”
“Mmm, please don’t.”
“But it’s funny!”
“Satoru.”
“Ooh, using my first name. Something’s up with you.”
“Something is not up with me, weirdo.” 
“No, something is definitely off with you today.” You thought Suguru and Shoko had stopped listening, but they chimed in with evidence of your odd behavior.
“You said good morning differently,” Shoko added, casually taking a sip of her soda and peering at you over the rim. Her hair sways gently in the breeze outside of the convenience store you four had stopped at before heading back to Jujutsu Tech. You glare at her and open your mouth to defend yourself when Suguru adds his two cents. 
“You tripped up during that last mission that should have been a cakewalk,” which was true, but you thought your mistake had gone unnoticed. The truth was, the spirit had caught you off guard with a simple teleport trick. It warped behind you and unlatched its grotesque jaws to end your life faster than you could blink. You should have been able to predict the movement with your eyes closed, but you’d been too focused on making sure a certain white-haired sorcerer was alive after your group had been ambushed several hundred feet underground. Suguru had given you a curious look after one of his demons saved your ass, and you’d flipped him off hoping that would be the end of it. “And you also flipped me the bird instead of saying thank you,” he shrugged.
“You also finish your food the fastest out of all of us, and today you haven’t even taken three bites,” Shoko says, finishing her drink and standing to toss it in the trash bin. “Something’s going on with you, and I, for one, am incredibly curious as to why.” Satoru watches you with a smug glint in his eye, and it takes all your willpower not to strangle him. 
“As glad as I am to know that you all pay such great attention to my habits, I promise there’s nothing wrong.” The three of them stare at you skeptically but thankfully decided to drop the subject, instead pivoting to who’s most likely to go to jail first (it’s Gojo). 
After the late lunch, you begin the walk back to Jujutsu Tech as the sky transforms into faded shades of orange and pink. The vanishing sun casts shining reflections on the surrounding skyscrapers, bouncing off the windows of speeding cars and zooming trains. Satoru and Suguru walk ahead, playfully shoving each other and almost falling over doing so. 
“Alright, are you gonna tell me what’s going on now that Dumb and Dumber aren’t here?” Shoko asks as she falls into step with you. The sides of your mouth turn down, realizing that she didn’t forget about your conversation at lunch. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your closest friends what was going on; you just didn’t know how to explain what you had dreamed about the previous night and the night before that, and all the nights the past two weeks. 
It began with a look he had given you after a meeting with some higher-ups in the sorcerer world. They had visited Jujutsu Tech unexpectedly, stating that they would be evaluating the skill levels of random students. Out of your group of friends, only you and Satoru had been pulled to be tested. Principal Yaga had instructed both of you before entering the room to give the evaluation your best effort and to not become indignant if they judged you poorly. 
The brass declared your evaluation to be first, and you poured all of your energy into showcasing the power of your Cursed Technique. You even managed to pull off a few strikes of extension techniques that you’d been perfecting for months. Though the entire performance lasted less than ten minutes, you were breathless and light-headed when the panel told you to stop. After bowing deeply, you moved to exit the room, desperate for fresh air, but they stopped you and began listing every single reason why your demonstration was unsatisfactory. Besides “inefficient technique, predictable attacks, weak offense, insufficient defense,” and a general lack of power compared to that of other sorcerers at your level, they informed you that your Cursed Technique was obsolete and would eventually render you useless as more innately talented sorcerers take your place. You were speechless at their blunt criticism of your effort, on the verge of breaking down, but you managed to nod in acknowledgment as you stepped out of the room.
But then you saw him sitting there, waiting on his phone and looking up at you with a bright smile as he stood to greet you. A confusing blend of disappointment, anger, sadness, and loneliness panged in your heart and spread to the rest of your body, and you rapidly tried to blink away the moisture welling up in your eyes while Satoru approached. He was halfway through a snarky remark about you blowing away their expectations when his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed with concern. Shit, he’d noticed you crying. 
“Hey, hey, hey, look at me. What the fuck did they do to you?” Dashing blue eyes found yours through the clouds in your vision, and his thumbs gently brushed away stray tears that escaped down your cheeks. 
“Do you think I’m weak, Satoru?” Your voice cracks when the words finally spill out, swallowing hard to push down the sobs threatening to break loose from your constricted lungs. Satoru freezes, eyes searching yours. He doesn’t answer your question immediately, but instead asks again. 
“Doll, what the fuck did they do.” You can’t get a reply out in time before his focus snaps up to behind you, and a second later you hear the door roll open, one of the officials commanding Satoru to enter for his evaluation. His large hands hold your face and turn you to look up at him, and you move unconsciously to cover his hands with yours. “Stay here for me, okay?” He glanced at the official waiting in the doorway, blue eyes dark with suppressed rage. “This won’t take long.”
His evaluation lasts two minutes and four seconds. At first, the room was silent and you couldn’t hear any demonstration of Satoru’s technique, almost as if the panel was having a conversation with him before they began. Then, at two minutes on the dot, the room was blown to splinters. The door, the ceiling, the porch, and all of the furniture inside were violently thrown outward in an explosion that made the ground beneath your feet tremble. Curiously, none of the debris had hit you, but you coughed through the dust and saw that the panel hadn’t been so lucky, all of them buried under shredded beams of wood and canvas. And, standing at the center of the room’s remains with a satisfied grin plastered on his beautiful face, was Satoru. He found his way over to where you stood in disbelief and took your hand in his, interweaving your fingers and guiding you away from the ruined building. 
You two walked hand-in-hand in silence back to your dorm, where he seemed reluctant to let go of your hand. Before he walked away, he finally answered your question from earlier. 
“I tell you this not just as your friend, but as another sorcerer. You are not weak. Your technique is special and something that those shithead elders haven’t seen in decades, and they don’t like what they don’t understand. I know the thought of leaving Jujutsu Tech crossed your pretty little mind, but you shouldn’t. People need you here, Shoko, Suguru, Mei Mei...” He hesitated, taking a shallow breath and reaching back for your hand. 
“Me,” he said, his voice low, and his voice got even softer until it was almost a breath. “I need you here.” As quickly as the fondness in his voice appeared, it disappeared. “And, plus, you definitely can’t leave us here with ol’ Yaga. What the hell am I gonna do if I can’t hide in your room while he’s trying to beat my ass?” 
You laugh, and the feeling makes you feel better. He makes you feel better. You smile back at him and finally bid him farewell, and he raises your hand to his lips as he says goodbye. 
After that, he’d appeared in your dreams for two weeks straight. The dreams started as a continuation of what would have happened if you didn’t just say goodbye to him, if you’d invited him into your dorm, or if you’d let him pull you into his. They transformed after the fourth day into what it would be like to love him and receive his love in return: stolen kisses, flirty whispers, and movie dates to name a few. All these dreams added up to the previous night’s nightmare, where a mission had gone bad and he’d been imprisoned with no hope of breaking him free. You’d startled awake covered in sweat, and barely fell back asleep before your alarm forced you to start the day. 
“It’s… hard to explain,” you reply apologetically, and Shoko looks at you with so much skepticism written on her face that you have to turn away and look in the other direction. 
“So something is bothering you.” 
“Yeah, there is. I’m sorry; it’s just really, really hard to verbalize.”
“Can I take a stab at what’s bothering you?”
“If you could actually stab it that’d be great, but sure. Knock yourself out.”
“It’s Satoru, isn’t it?” You stop mid-stride and her face lights up with amusement. “Holy shit, it’s Satoru. You like Gojo Satoru.”
“Jeez, Shoko, go ahead and say his name four hundred million times, why don’t you? But really, what tipped you off?”
“Ten seconds ago when you asked me to stab your problem, I figured it out,” she chuckles, bumping her shoulder against yours playfully. “If it’s any consolation, I’m 99% sure he’s felt that way about you for a while.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“How do you know?”
“Would you let me off the hook if I said it was hard to explain?”
“Har, har, very funny. Could you at least try?” 
“Mmm, I think it’s better if he explains it himself.” 
“You’re no help, Shoko.”
“Yes, and you love me anyway. But not as much as you love Sa–” You groan, covering your burning face in both hands and increasing the speed of your steps to escape your friend’s teasing chuckles. 
When you finally arrive at school, the stars have started rising and the moon hangs in the sky. You walk in the direction of the dorms when Shoko suddenly unlinks her elbow from yours, winking at you over your shoulder. 
“Suguru, can you help me move something from the gym real quick? I forgot a few things over there.” 
“Sure, but why do you need my help?” Shoko gives him a pointed look and realization quickly washes over his features. “Oh, OH. Okay, of course, sure.” Suguru turns on his heel awkwardly, briskly walking in the direction of the gym.
“Satoru, walk them back to their dorm. Don’t want anything happening to them after their little slip today,” she adds before heading in the other direction with Suguru, who tries and fails to communicate something to Satoru with a nod of his head. 
“Alright, pretty girl, you heard Shoko. C’mere and let me walk you home before she beats my ass.”
“I think you have too many people on this planet that want to beat your ass. And, for the record, I’m one of them.”
“It’s the price of being this gorgeous, gorgeous.” A soft laugh escapes your mouth, and you swear Satoru’s smile gets a little wider. The rest of the short walk to your dorm is just as easy and comfortable, Satoru making stupid comments and you replying with a quick remark over and over until you’re back in the same situation you’d been in two weeks ago. But, this time, you realized that Satoru was a lot closer to you, leaning back against your door with your hand touching the handle but not opening it. You both spend a few moments there, just looking at each other, and his mesmerizing eyes flicker to your mouth when you unconsciously lick your lips. He opens his mouth to say something smart, but you beat him to it. 
“If you’re gonna look down at my lips and say something stupid about it, you might as well do what I’ve been wanting you to do for ages.” 
“Oh? And what’s that, pretty girl?”
You sigh in mock disappointment and look up at him through your eyelashes. “If you don’t know what it is by now, then I guess… you don’t deserve to do it.” His pupils are blown wide with desire, and you resist the impulse to laugh. 
“God, you’re intoxicating,” he says, before pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter shut and you melt into him, arms snaking around his neck while his hands find your waist and hold you up from your knees that have turned to jelly. The first kiss is gentle and experimental, but having the flirtiest asshole in the country chasing your lips as you briefly pull away gives you a newfound wave of confidence, pulling him closer and closer until his body is flush against yours. When you finally pull away from each other and catch your breath, he doesn’t go very far, resting his forehead against yours. 
“You know, I wanted to kill them. Those wrinkly assholes two weeks ago that had the gall to call you weak. And I would have, you know I would have, but you were outside… and you were crying… I just didn’t know what to do. I saw red, and, uh, then the building exploded.” You chuckle at his confession and he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, rubbing his nose against yours. 
“I had a dream about you. Well, a lot of dreams.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Really?”
“Mhmm. Got a little nervous today when I heard you talk with Shoko about liking a boy, but it helps knowing now that the boy is me. And, hopefully, it will only ever be me.”
“You pretentious asshole.”
“You know it.”
“You’re a dork.”
“Yeah, but I’m your dork.” 
“I know you are.”
“And I’m never going anywhere.” He kisses your forehead sweetly, and it’s just like the dreams that had plagued you for weeks before. “Ever.”
Tumblr media
if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
885 notes · View notes
intynidad · 1 year ago
Note
yayayayayayayya!
Imagine a Soldier, a DILF,Huge, muscular, and so intimidating! But there are a few drawbacks.. He is VERY possessive and overprotective! (Yandere)
He can’t see you with another man! Or even the thought of a man breathing in your direction is enough for him to throw a sharpened knife at his head.. Even women are rivals to him.. He is a MaleWife! I’m his free time he wants to take care of you! like imagine the pink frills and bows but with camouflage pants and dog tags..
And the way he looks at you.. with so much adoration and love.. Even after transforming into a beast a few moments ago and glaring at the one who dared to even look at his sweet darling!
Scary dog privileges!! A huge almost 7 foot man stalking behind you with a preditorial gaze.. Sending death glares at anyone who passes near you..
you don’t know how he is so stealthyfor being so huge..
Has a huge and muscular body! So he has huge hands and arms.. With lots of bulging veins!
(Imagine grabbing his moobies after a hard day of work.. He would moan and whimper like a bitch in heat.. a string of Thank yous coming out his mouth..)
I imagine he has a hidden piercing probably on his tongue.. but no one knows.. except you.. but isn’t noticeable because he wears a balaclava at work!
Petnames!: Darling, Sweethear, Angel, My love, Princess, Lovely
It took some time but i really like how it came out owo
I got a little lazy on the end but is still good
TW: yandere behavior, description of violence(not towards reader), use of pet names (sugar cube and darling), female oriented reader ??? Tell me if i miss anything owo
Enjoy !
War was not kind to anyone.
First, your father was drafted to fight on the front lines. He tried to write every time he could, but one day, you and your mother stopped getting any letters. That's when you knew it - that your father was dead.
Your now-widowed mother was absolutely heartbroken. You tried to initiate a conversation, saying, -"Hello, Mom,"- but were only met with silence. This is how things have been going since the news of your father. It’s been a lonely and difficult time for your family.
You often found yourself staring out of the window, watching the seasons change. The world outside seemed to carry on as if nothing had happened, while inside your home, there was a void that couldn't be filled.
You saw how the war started to consume your little neighborhood, first your father, then your mother, and now your friends.
"I can't believe it," you said with a shaky voice. "You can't leave me."
You clutched the small phone in your hands while the other person on the line gave a low chuckle, full of sadness. "I know, I know. It's not like I want to."
"Dylan, please," you begged, your voice choked with a sob. "You're sick. You can't go to fight."
"I can't just stay still while the war consumes our lives, sugar cube," Dylan replied with determination. "Listen, I'm going to do everything I can to stay in contact, but I refuse to stay still while our enemies burn our homes and kill our people."
You understood his sentiment, but the fear of losing yet another person you loved was overwhelming. The war had taken so much from you already, and you didn't want to lose Dylan as well.
"Dylan, promise me you'll be safe. Promise me you'll come back," you pleaded.
"I promise I'll do my best, sugar cube," Dylan said softly. "And I promise we'll be together again when this nightmare is over."
As the call ended, you clutched the phone tightly, tears streaming down your face, thinking of the destiny of one of your closest friends. With your vision blurry, that's when you saw it:
[Be the hero of our heroes!]
[Become a war nurse and help today!]
——-
The training was fairly easy, but the hardest part was saying goodbye to your mother. It wasn't because of the response she gave you, but rather the lack of it. The war had taken so much from her, and you leaving to join the medical corps was another sacrifice she had to bear in silence.
After three months of training and preparation, you reached your destination - the front lines. Well, it wasn't exactly the front lines where bullets flew, but it was a place where you felt like you were helping. The makeshift field hospital was a hive of activity, with wounded soldiers being brought in, and the dedicated medical team doing their best to save lives and ease suffering.
Your heart swelled with a mix of fear and determination as you donned your nurse's uniform. You had a newfound respect for the doctors and nurses who worked tirelessly in these conditions, and now, you were one of them.
Every day, you encounter injured soldiers, each with their own story of bravery and sacrifice. You offered comfort, administered care, and listened to their fears and hopes. It was a harsh environment, but the camaraderie and shared purpose among the medical staff gave you strength.
As you continued your work on the front lines, you knew that this was where you were meant to be, where you could honor your father's memory, support your friends, and be a beacon of hope in the darkness of war.
That was until one particularly slow day. Well, as slow as it could be in a war hospital. You were preparing some medical supplies for the medics to take to their respective camps when a superior of yours called you.
-"Y/N! Could you come over and take care of this new patient? I'm kinda busy right now,"- the woman said in a calm tone.
-"Sure, just send them back here, and I'll take care of them,"- you responded.
Her tone was pretty chill, so it was probably just a bruise or maybe a cold. You were preparing some medicine and band-aids when you felt a small tap on your shoulder.
-"I'm sorry to keep you waiting; please have a sea-" When you turned around, you were shocked to see a man - no, a practical giant - towering over you.
The soldier was immense, with a rugged face that bore the scars of battle. He had a stern, almost intimidating expression, and it was clear that he had seen his fair share of combat. As he hunched down to enter the tent, you couldn't help but feel a mix of awe and trepidation.
-“Captain Samuel Reynolds, a pleasure to make your acquaintance"- he said in a deep, gravelly voice. His uniform was tattered and stained, and he clutched his side in obvious pain.
-"Y/N,"- you replied, trying to regain your composure. You quickly gestured for him to sit on one of the makeshift beds. As he eased himself down, it became apparent that he was wounded, a bandage around his abdomen stained with blood.
-"I heard you're the best nurse in this place,"- he said, his voice filled with both gratitude and a touch of humor.
You blushed at the compliment. The reality was that you were just doing your best, like all the others in the medical corps. You started to assess his injuries, trying to hide your nervousness as you worked to remove the soiled bandage.
-"You've been through quite a lot,"- you commented as you cleaned the wound.
Samuel winced, but he nodded. -"The front lines aren't a picnic, that's for sure. But I've seen worse."
As you stitched up his wound and administered medication, you couldn't help but feel watched as his gaze practically pierced through you. But you continued to do your work, focused on providing the best care you could.
-"Okay, that should do for the bleeding, Mr. Reynolds. Let me go grab some bandages and some painkillers for you,"- you said.
His response caught you off guard, -"...why?"- Samuel said, almost confused about your reasoning.
-"Because, um, you are hurt?"- You stammered, wondering if you had said something wrong.
-"Thanks for the offer, sweetheart, but this pain won't kill me. Plus, there are some other people around that probably need those painkillers and bandages more than me,"- Samuel said matter-of-factly. He expected it to be the end of the conversation. You would probably tell him okay and assign him a bed, and that would be the end of it.
But you surprised him with your firm resolve. -"No,"- you said.
-"Thanks, so I will be going to my bed, then,"- Samuel was more than confused when he registered your words.
-"Wait, what?"- he asked.
-"I'm sorry, Captain, but with all due respect, I will not allow you to do that,"- you said firmly.
-"Do what?"- Samuel was clearly taken aback.
-"I'm sorry, but as long as you are here, I'm in charge of you, and I won't let any of my patients go suffering when they can perfectly take some rest and medication,"- you said, giving him a small, determined smile. It was clear that you weren't going to back down.
Samuel's eyes met yours, and he seemed to be processing your words. His tough exterior had met its match in your unwavering dedication to your patients' well-being.
As you delicately applied pressure to his wounds to wrap them up in bandages, Samuel couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat. The way your hands worked so skillfully and delicately had a calming effect, and he found himself strangely drawn to your touch. It was as if your care had the power to make his pain vanish.
However, the sensation of your fingers on his skin made him nervous. His heart raced, and he couldn't quite understand why he felt this way. Samuel, a battle-hardened captain, suddenly felt a wave of discomfort.
-"I'm sorry, but are you okay?"- you asked, looking into his eyes as you reached your hand to his forehead. -"You're a little bit hot."
-"I'm f-fine,"- he stammered, full of shame. How was it possible that he was suddenly stuttering? What was happening to him?
Samuel couldn't quite comprehend the mix of emotions he was experiencing. Here he was, a soldier used to facing danger and making difficult decisions, and yet in this moment, your caring presence and gentle touch had him feeling vulnerable in a way he had never felt before.
A couple of weeks passed, and you continued to care for him. It didn't take much time for Samuel to realize that he was in love. A cold-blooded soldier had become completely enamored by a tiny (in comparison to him) nurse. He couldn't help but follow you with his gaze as you waltzed around the hospital, tending to the wounded and offering comfort with your warm smile.
He felt a profound happiness with you in his life. The war, which had taken so much from him, had also given him something unexpected – love.
One day, when his wounds were practically all healed up, he went for a run around the hospital perimeters. Part of it was to use some of the energy he had built up during his recovery, but deep down, he also wanted to make sure you were safe.
During his run, he stumbled upon a small river with water lilies floating on its surface. They were small in comparison to his massive hands, delicate and beautiful, just like you. Samuel found himself captivated by their fragility and elegance.
He decided then and there. He would confess his feelings to you when the sun went down. Those lilies, a symbol of the tenderness he had discovered in the midst of war, would be his gift to you. They represented the love that had grown in his heart, unexpected and pure, just like the delicate blossoms on the river.
He advanced with a spark to his feet, feeling his heart sincronice to each step he took.
At the entrance of your “office” (it was just a big tent but you liked to call it that) , he called out to you, -"Um, Miss Y/N, are you there?"- He couldn't help but feel a certain nervousness in his voice. It was an unfamiliar feeling for him, like he was a teenager again, not a battle-hardened soldier.
When he didn’t hear anything he decided to just enter and wait for you.
It was weird. You usually would check for medical supplies and then come back to your tent to put on your uniform and THEN start the day…not like he had your whole schedule memorized of anything.
He started to worry. Maybe you had been distracted or were in some kind of danger. The concern for your well-being began to overshadow his initial nervousness. He scanned the tent, looking for any signs of where you might be or if there was trouble.
He bolted to his feet again running to the “hospital”, full with worry.
When he got there he asked to another nurse if they had see you
-“oh, Y/N. O boy let me tell´ya. They been all lovely dovey with somebody on the back”-
-…what- Samuel felt his heart freeze
The nurse continued without noticing -“ya’ apparently it was an old friend of them. Let me tell’ya boy. The moment that guy enter she almost fainted of happiness. She was like “omg its been so long and””-
Samuel stopped listening half way through. He didn’t care about that guy.
He cared about you.
Who was this guy
How do you know him
He was dangerous?
Was he an enemy ?
He walked with a heavy step. Until he hear a small voice sniffling.
Samuel froze. It was you.
-“aww don’t worry sugar cube. I’m alright told ya’”- a voice he didn’t recognize talked to you
He cringed at the nickname the stranger gave you. Sugar cube
Yes you were sweet and all of that but he had no right to call you that.
-im sorry Dylan is just that *sob* the tears don’t stop- you responded
Dylan huh…where did he heard that name before.
He peeked a little and what he saw made his blood boil.
You were there with tears staining your beautiful face. And that disgusting man was kissing them away. Like he had any right to do that.
He continued to observe in silence.
He saw how this man sat you on his lap while kissing you.
At this point the lilies were long forgotten crushed to mere crumbs into his hands.
And when he saw Dylan slowly caress your leg he couldn’t stand there any longer.
He opened the curtain that separated you three and walked with a heavy step.
-“may i know what you are doing, soldier?”- his voice low and authoritative
Dylan that was not paying attention, bolted his head toward him and with super speed put you down on his side
-S-Sir i'm sorry is- Dylan tried to explain himself while he brushed up his uniform
-“I don’t want to hear it,soldier. Identify yourself and your section”-
-“Dylan Ramirez sir. I just got transfer to site 2-A sir.”-
Ah. That where he knew him. He was a new transfer to HIS section.
-why are you in this stablishment and not reporting to me of your arrival- samuel said with maybe a little to much volume
-“i wanted to say hello to nurse Y/N sir. She is an old friend sir.”-
Friend…he didn’t believe that bullcrap
-i want you out and to run 10 laps around the perimeter.NOW-
And with that Dylan rise to his feet and run towards the exit.
You that were looking at the whole exchange. Felt slightly intimidated. Like the first time you met Samuel. He been so nice with you that you forgot that he is a high rank in the troops.
When your two sights encounter you couldn’t help but look to the ground.
-“are you alright?”- say Samuel on a voice much, much softer than the one he used with Dylan.
You didn’t say anything.
-“is just that…I heard you cry and got worried”- that was partially the truth but he was sure you wouldn’t mind.
-“yea i apologize for the whole scene…Mr Samuel”- you said with a hint of shame on your voice
-“you don’t have to apologize for anything,darling. Is just we are going tomorrow to the front lines again and maybe im a little nervous”- another half truth but alas it was for the best.
-“can i ask you to do something for me?”- you said, still looking at the ground
Oh if only you knew what he would do for you
-whatever you need-
-Please take care of Dylan on the front lines. He is a very important person to me-
Why. Why he was such an important person to you?.
Why does he had that he didn’t?
Why you looked at them without fear and when you looked at him your gaze was on the ground?
Why
Why
WHY
-“sure. Ill make sure Dylan is taken care of”- samuel say after a moment
-“thank you”- you said with a small smile
…..
He still though of that small interaction. He almost felt a hint of guilt for breaking his promise. Almost
He choose Dylan as his second in command to investigate a supposedly abandoned enemy base. That way they could maybe find supplies or a hint to end this war.
He had done this dozens of times.
The feeling of the bone breaking and the warmth of the blood on his hands. But the adrenaline on his veins this time made it a little different. Almost like if it was more personal.
If he had to compare Dylan to an animal it would probably be a deer of some kind.
A frail and sickly one but still a deer
First it was a shoot to the leg. He screamed in pain as he fell to the ground but we both knew that nobody would come.
Then Samuel stepped on his hand with all his force. It made a crack that send a pleasant chill to his own spine.
The beating continued for a while. For too little time on Samuel’s opinion and if Dylan had the ability to speak he probably said it was for far too long.
But no one can really talk with a broken jaw and without a tongue.
When he came back to the base. Nobody question the story of an ambush.
Nobody question that fact that his knife was missing.
Why would they?
After all he was the first in command. He was the commander Samuel
But the acting when he came back to you was supreme. Maybe he should had been an actor instead of a soldier but anyway.
You cried and screamed and punched the air.
It did broke his heart that you looked so sad. But don’t worry he would be here for you as long as you need him
And you wouldn’t need anybody else.
391 notes · View notes
thebloodredraven · 3 months ago
Text
"He's more of a brother to me than you ever were to him."
- Naruto, talking to Itachi about Sasuke
I'm rewatching Naruto as a whole because I'm introducing it to my friend, and I like to watch it every few years as I gain new life experience to get a new perspective of something I've been watching since I was a little kid. I've never finished the series past the very beginning of the war arc, though (working on it!).
We're up to the Tenchi Bridge mission in Shippuden and I have some thoughts on how remarkably similar Naruto and Itachi are, specifically when it comes to their shared trait of unintentionally dehumanizing Sasuke and viewing him as a possession, and an object to obtain, rather than a person with his own autonomy and free will. I also kind of wanna go into how Kakashi and Sakura (kinda) were probably the only people to love him as he was but still ultimately failed him, and how all of them drove him away.
Disclaimer: These are all my own opinions and you're under no obligation to agree with any of it. If any of what I have to say bothers you, you're more than welcome to exit the post at any time and ignore me instead of sending hate mail and leaving heinous comments. Anything you have to say in response can be said respectfully. Thanks!
Words: 2.3k
Tumblr media
In episode 41 of Naruto Shippuden, there's a scene where Naruto is in his own mind as he's transforming into the Nine Tailed Fox (Kurama). In this scene, he sees an apparition of Sasuke walking away from him and when he tries to go after him, water floods all around him and he can't get to him. He's falling into his own darkness and giving in to Kurama's influence.
During this scene, he says, "I am weak, so my words don't reach [Sasuke]. Because I am weak, I can't win his recognition. So, whatever happens I must become stronger so that the bond I've finally forged will not be severed. So that Sasuke won't sever the connection with me."
It can be said that the entire reason Naruto is so obsessed with getting Sasuke back is because, as he's stated himself multiple times, he can't confidently fulfill his goal of becoming Hokage if he can't even save his friend from darkness. His entire self-worth rests in the validity that others provide him because he was deprived of that his entire life, and he represses his emotions to the extreme.
It's why he's irrational and dangerous to be around and difficult to work with; it's why he foregoes any plans or strategies people have on almost every single mission he's been sent on from the time he became a ninja till the war and is always the first to attack in these scenarios; it's why he's willing to start giving into the power of Kurama until Yamato tells him how he injured Sakura and how he needed to prove his strength with his OWN power: his need to prove himself to others and get that validation he craves trumps over anything, and anyone, else.
When it comes to Itachi, he told Sasuke that in order to become strong enough to kill him he needed to sever his bonds with those closest to him.
Opposite of Naruto, Itachi kept Sasuke at a distance at all times because of his own goals to rid the world of war and get into a position where he can render ninja obsolete (via Itachi Retsuden). His tunnel vision when it came to his personal goals caused him to disregard how his actions affected other people because he saw it as a means to an end, including slaughtering his own clan and becoming a double spy in the Akatsuki.
When Naruto and Itachi run into each other during the Gaara Retrieval arc, they get to talking about Sasuke.
When Itachi asks why Naruto is so obsessed with Sasuke, Naruto replies with the quote that leads into this post.
I was talking to my friend about Naruto's possessive nature when it comes to Sasuke and that led into be thinking about how Itachi also viewed Sasuke.
I came to the conclusion that neither of these people viewed Sasuke as someone capable of having his own autonomy, his own philosophy, and as someone deserving of having his own personal goals and feelings recognized. Sasuke was always within his full right to end up as hateful and as angry and as hurt as he was, but because Naruto and Itachi care more about their own goals and their own proximity to Sasuke, they don't view him as someone that can make his own decisions; that's why I feel Naruto had such a negative reaction when Orochimaru reminded Naruto that Sasuke came to him of his own free will after Naruto was screaming at him to "give him back." Even after three years, he cannot stomach or accept the fact that Sasuke made the choice to leave him, and it pushes him further into his obsession.
Tumblr media
Sasuke made his own decision to go to Orochimaru because he felt like no one else around him genuinely tried to understand what he was going through. They, essentially, just wanted him to let go of his pain and keep living a "happy" life with them. How could they understand when they view him in such a way? Orochimaru was up front with his intentions and his plans for Sasuke from the very beginning. Yes, he was manipulated by the curse mark, but Orochimaru wouldn't have chosen him to begin with if he didn't see what was already in Sasuke.
He was very up front with the fact that he needed Sasuke's body in order to continue living as a powerful being and find immortality. He told Sasuke what the game plan was and knew that in order to get what he wanted, he needed to give Sasuke what everyone else had denied him: a choice. He saw a gifted child filled with jealousy and hatred, which was something fostered by his need to compete with Itachi and Naruto and gave him exactly what he wanted.
Sasuke's entire clan was annihilated by the one person he sought the most validation from. After that heartbreak, he was forced to live in that same Uchiha compound all alone.
While he was dealing with the trauma of that, every single person around him was idealizing him and treating him in a way that probably drove him further into isolation: he was constantly bombarded with girls that were crushing on him and wanting him for his talents and good looks, and the adults around him saw him as the perfect student that didn't need too much attention, so no one paid attention to his needs outside of what he provided in skill. Even though they very much provided the validation and attention he was seeking from his family, no one really bothered to see him.
Naruto was seemingly the only person that actively saw what he was going through because he also knew what that loneliness looked like, but his rivalry with him mattered more than that connection. That's why physical fighting is their form of intimacy. People propped him up on a pedestal from the time he was a small child and when that position was threatened by the least talented kid in his class, it threw him into a spiral (which is another topic).
Tumblr media
Getting back to Itachi, he never saw Sasuke as his own person at any point in his life. I know he loved him in his own way. In some ways, he was the somewhat attentive father Sasuke should have had.
But Itachi was not always a good brother. Not in the least.
He always saw him as someone to protect, to coddle, to keep ignorant, keep below him because he subconsciously did not want Sasuke to become a shinobi and go through the same trauma he did (Itachi Retsuden). Eventually, that was no longer an option and that's when the distance happened (in conjunction to what was going on in his own life as a tool that others wanted to use for their own goals).
After Itachi slaughtered the clan, he reinforced Sasuke's lack of autonomy by giving him his own means to an end.
Itachi saw Sasuke as a tool -- a means to his own long, drawn-out suicide.
Naruto viewed Sasuke as the ultimate validation to his own goal to become Hokage.
Neither of them saw Sasuke for who he was or who he wanted to be -- for who he could have been.
I'll even add Sakura to this mix because she has a complicated relationship with him as well. She did end up with him and was his friend before anything, but she’s idolized him to the point of nausea since she was a little girl. She was obsessed with becoming the object of his affection. She had an unhealthy amount of loyalty to him just like Naruto (even though I'd argue she wasn't nearly as bad as Naruto was). She changed her own opinions of something to cater to what he thought so she could seem more favorable to him. For most of their childhood, she dehumanized him and didn't see him as anything other than a love interest for herself.
However.
You can see her slowly taking off the rose-colored glasses in the first part of Naruto during the Chuunin exams at two major points: when she chastised him for acting like a coward and freezing up while Orochimaru beat Naruto, and when she finally cut her hair in the middle of battle (context: she heard that Sasuke loved long hair and that's why she always kept it long).
Beyond that, she actually paid attention to his well-being and noticed when something was wrong or when he was hiding something and brought her concerns up in a non-aggressive manor. At the time, he was aggressive and agitated by her actions, and he reacts as such. Genuine concern is hard to come by for him, so how was he supposed to react?
But clearly, he recognized it and appreciated it because it's been confirmed through his Japanese VA AND English VA AND the novels that Sasuke was starting to fall in love with Sakura long before he realized it and was full of guilt when he left her on that bench.
When the time came to acknowledge that he was an internationally recognized terrorist and killer, the life drained from her face because she realized she had to put her feelings to the side and do what needed to be done.
Tumblr media
Because she was willing to accept the reality of who he was and see him for what he'd become. And even though she was unsuccessful, she took steps to have Naruto forget about Sasuke and kill him herself.
At this point, he's learned to use the same tactics people used on him his entire life: only keep people around you that further your own goals. This time, he was in charge. When he formed his own gang, he encountered that dehumanizing behavior again when Karin constantly threw herself at him and practically begged to sleep with him. It was only after Itachi died and he decided to take down the Leaf that he was able to finally have a goal of his own that was solely for him.
I won't go into it too much because I'm already pushing 2k words, but it's worth noting that Sasuke was pushed to do crime because that was the only period of time where he was allowed to make his own decisions and have his own autonomy enough to pursue his OWN goals before that was swiftly taken away by The Akatsuki to....you guessed it, further their own goals.
Sasuke has never been the idol the people in proximity to him saw him as, from any person's point of view. Not Naruto, not Itachi, not Sakura, not Orochimaru, no one. Obito may have been the one closest to seeing Sasuke as he was, but he immediately took advantage of him.
They all wanted to possess him and obtain him in different ways, and one of the reasons I love his dynamic with Kakashi so much is because Kakashi did grow up very similarly to Sasuke, except his own dad died of his own accord and Sasuke’s father was taken away from him.
One of the main ways Kakashi has always been able to connect to Sasuke was the fact that throughout his life he’s had to watch every single person he’s ever cared about die around him. And for a while he was that cold detached person that didn’t want to keep up with friends, didn’t want to be around people, minded his business, and he was mean to everybody.
The whole reason he gave Sasuke that speech about choosing his own path right before he went to Orochimaru was because he intimately understood what he was going through emotionally.
Naruto and Sakura can say they get where he’s coming from, but Kakashi is really the only person able to empathize with what Sasuke was going through. And if Kakashi hadn’t been consistently sent out on missions and was able to take care of his kids the way he was supposed to, there was a slight chance Sasuke could have still healed from his trauma even with the manipulation of the curse mark. 
People forget that Kakashi very well could have ended up on the same path as Sasuke, even without Orochimaru’s influence, because he went through some very dark things. He had every reason to be a very dark character, but he didn’t.
He ultimately failed when he spoke to Sasuke as a soldier and not the traumatized child that was acting out on his pain.
In summary, Sasuke only went to the lengths that he did because of the people around him treating him as a possession to keep or as an object to obtain rather than treating him as an actual person. Sasuke goes through some of the most dehumanizing relationships, and I think that’s what irritates me so much about Naruto as a character.
Because he treats Sasuke, and he talks about him, like he’s a possession to obtain and because someone else “has” him, he has to get him back because Sasuke is his and his only. This extends to other characters around him, as well.
That lack of autonomy was what drove Sasuke away because he very clearly wanted to be seen as his own person but no one around him was willing to do that because they saw him as a means to their own goals. It's why Sasuke developed a "do you really think I give a fuck about what you want" personality trait.
All that being said, do I think they all genuinely loved him? Yes.
Ultimately, we have to remember that these are all small-town children with very little experience of the outside world and that the adults around him grew up in the same conditions because that's what the politics of that world demanded.
I have my opinions about the manga's imperialist propaganda, use of child soldiers, Sasuke's emotional development and how people chronically misunderstand complex PTSD, fascism, queer baiting, etc. but that's another post. Several others, actually.
Believe it or not, I had to shave down a lot of what I originally had in order to keep this relatively short LMAO
If y'all read all of this, THANK YOU! I rarely ever flesh out my thoughts about this show like this and it felt refreshing to get off my chest. Feel free to send me DMs and RESPECTFULLY speak your own mind in the comments/reblogs! ♥
Tumblr media
107 notes · View notes