#like the 30k+ range ones

[pizzaqueen]

Just having (another) one of those “I’m never going to write all the fic I want to ahhhhhhhhhhhh” moments 😫🙃

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNING BESTIE IM OTW TO CLASS RN but i have time so i pop in a lil. and wIOOAGHHFH WOAHH 28K THATS INSANEEE youre so. close to the tower asunder ch3 length saur close saur true BUT ALSO!!! wahts the estimation of the fic length exactly. am curious bout dat if you still have more blank spots to fill 🤔🤔 LIKE KEEP GOING IF U HAVE TO it is More Content for me to eat to consume to exploededs entirely it is an aly pinkseas story and i will Love it

GOOD LUCK IN CLASS I HOPE IT GOES WELL AND WHENEVER UR SEEING THIS I HOPE UR MORNING/DAY HAS BEEN GOOD !!!!!!! ummm well u see the thing is. i think im at Least going to hit like 34-35k. if i finished every scene as quickly and shortly as possible itd still be at least that length. estimation and what im kind of assuming in my mind rn is 40k and if i did MATH to estimate and try to tell itd probably be. over 40k. but a lot of the scenes i have left are shorter ones so i dont think itll be as long or take as long??? basically its hard to tell but 30-40k range 😭😭😭 i have exactly One place in the doc where i think i want a scene but dont have anything specific in mind and i may get rid of it tbh, all other "i need to fill the space here w/ something" places have been filled !!

[fazcinatingblog]

I sent off $16k worth of invoices in two days okay my boss should remember this and also that we did $36k last week and also

Then on the way home, I had a 50 minute phone call with an ex coworker mostly about how I should be moving on and finding another job and not working for Sophia and

Then quickly made pasta and called my Nana and I hate phone calls and I'm terrible at conversation and

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

(ouma anon) I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS, I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM kakfkammckakckkakckakc also i wrote this with Warmer - Don't you worry, love on repeat to get in the mood

this is reminding me of the time i dumped my eldritch horror!shuichi snippet au on somebody's inbox-

BUT uh yeah, i am just very motivated with a soundboard LMAO, also i really do love gonta and you are right HE NEEDA MORE CONTENT

This got me to go back to my canon divergence ch4 fic!! Writing is hard for me, but I just hit 2k and I'm making good progress I think!!

The fic will have a gonta focus when i GET THERE. For now its been very Miu + Kaito + Kokichi centric but I have a very specific idea for what I want to happen and I just *shakes my laptop* I just have to get there!!

But as I said. writing is very hard

[senascoop]

DREAMSCAPE ☁︎ M.LIST !

WELCOME to the DREAMSCAPE MINI ENHYPEN series— a collection of seven unique fanfics that blur the lines between fantasy, crime, comedy, and romance. Each story dives deep into intricate plots, so if you were hoping for simple FLUFF or SMUT, you might want to look elsewhere. But if you're here for thrilling twists, complex characters, and captivating worlds, you've come to the right place! BUCKLE UP; it's going to be a wild ride!

WORD COUNT MIGHT RANGE FROM 10K—30K,

MINORS, please steer clear of the SMUT fanfics. However, don't worry—you’re more than welcome to dive into the fluff stories! They’re just as captivating and enjoyable, offering all the heartwarming moments without the mature content. Enjoy responsibly!

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN ANY OF THESE FICS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHICH ONE YOU'D LIKE TO BE TAGGED IN!

JUST REPLY WITH THE PREFERENCE, AND I’LL MAKE SURE TO KEEP YOU UPDATED. THANKS!

﹙ 🕊️ ﹚ ぃ ──── SHE HAS LOST EVERY CASE, HOW COULD SHE WIN MINE?

EXCUSE ME !

READ HERE

SUSPECT ! HEESEUNG × LAWYER ! AFAB READER

MATURE THEMES, LAW BASED & SMUT !

Heeseung is unexpectedly thrust into the center of a murder investigation, accused of killing an old school friend. The truth, however, runs deeper than it appears, leaving everyone questioning whether he's truly the suspect. Enter you, his defense lawyer, notorious for losing every case you take on. Against all odds, you're handed Heeseung's case, and let’s just say…it’s a recipe for disaster for both of you. As you dig deeper, unraveling layers of deception, you’ll have to confront your own doubts and insecurities. Will you be able to prove Heeseung's innocence, or will this case be another tally in your string of failures?

﹙ 🧊 ﹚ ぃ ──── DID I REALLY DESERVE TO BE CAUGHT UP WITH SUCH A TROUBLE?

OOPS, WRONG ERA !

READ HERE

TIME TRAVELLER ! JAY × STUDENT ! AFAB READER

20TH CENTURY AU, SLIGHTLY FUTURISTIC & FLUFF !

Jay was the epitome of a perfect student—charming, intelligent, and utterly dedicated. The only catch? He was a time traveler from the future, marooned in the 20th century and trying to blend in as a normal teenager. When you discovered his secret, you seized the opportunity. You blackmailed him into becoming your personal homework and assignment writer, using his advanced knowledge to help you ace your classes. Jay’s attempts to navigate high school life while fulfilling his unexpected new role provided endless amusement and challenges for both of you.

﹙ ☁️ ﹚ ぃ ──── WHY WOULD YOU SHOW UP WHEN I MOVED ON?

WINDS CHANGE ☁︎

READ HERE

EX ! JAKE × EX ! AFAB READER

ANGST & SMUT !

It's been five years since you and Jake called it quits, each going your separate ways. Life seemed fine—until the dreaded wedding invitation arrives from an old friend. Reluctantly, you decide to attend, only to find Jake, your ex, waiting there like a storm on the horizon, ready to turn your calm into chaos. With unresolved feelings and past memories looming, the wedding becomes a battlefield of witty exchanges, accidental encounters, and a slow unraveling of what truly ended between you two. Are the winds of change blowing in favor of a second chance, or will they only serve to remind you why you broke up in the first place?

﹙ 🍁 ﹚ ぃ ──── I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT, BUT I WANNA MAKE IT BETTER!

GET WELL SOON シ︎

READ HERE

RACER ! SUNGHOON × ORPHAN ! AFAB READER

MENTIONS OF CRIME & ACCIDENT, OVERALL FLUFF & CRACK !

You’ve always considered yourself a good person—kind, forgiving, and patient. But Sunghoon tested every bit of that. One reckless, drunken drive was all it took for him to flip your life upside down, leaving you temporarily confined to a wheelchair. The inconvenience was more than just physical; it was a wound to your pride and independence. Sunghoon, however, refused to walk away from his mistake. Guilt-ridden and determined to make amends, he became a constant presence in your life—covering your medical bills, offering you emotional support, and sticking around even when you wished he wouldn’t.

﹙ 🦄 ﹚ ぃ ──── CAN'T YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BY YOURSELF?

LIKE PINK !

READ HERE

GUARDIAN ANGEL ! SUNOO × CLUMSY ! AFAB READER

FANTASY & PURE FLUFF !

You’ve always believed you were cursed with the "unlucky girl syndrome." From tripping on flat surfaces to losing your keys every other day, it seemed like misfortune followed you everywhere. But was it really a curse, or just bad luck? You never quite figured it out. When a guardian angel was sent from above, you hoped your luck would finally turn around. Instead, you got Sunoo—a messy, clumsy, and utterly unhelpful angel who seemed more like a walking disaster than a divine helper. All you could think of was asking God for a refund, because with Sunoo around, your life was about to get a lot more chaotic… and maybe a little brighter, too.

﹙ 🔥 ﹚ ぃ ──── I KNOW A TRICK TOO!

SIZZLES OF HIM ᯾

READ HERE

CLASSMATE ! JUNGWON × AFAB ! READER

FANTASY ELEMENTS, MAGICAL AU & SMUT !

There was always something about your quiet, mysterious classmate Jungwon that piqued your curiosity. You couldn't quite put your finger on it—until the day you accidentally peeked into his room and saw him hovering mid-air, surrounded by sparks of electricity. It all made sense then; he wasn't just your average student. Little did he know, you were hiding a secret of your own—one that mirrored his in more ways than one. Two forces of nature, each with powers as different as night and day, destined to collide. As they say, opposites attract, but in your case, they might just ignite.

﹙ 🍫 ﹚ ぃ ──── THIS MIGHT SOUND CRAZY BUT TRUST ME IT'S TRUE!

TIED UP IN YOU !

READ HERE

PHONE GUY ! NIKI × STUDENT ! AFAB READER

CRACK (?), PURE FLUFF !

Niki was a good guy, no doubt about it. The only problem? He was your phone. How, exactly, did your phone transform into this strikingly handsome guy? It was baffling, frustrating, and, honestly, a bit overwhelming. Here you were, trying to navigate a world where your device had somehow become a charming, infuriatingly attractive human being. And to make matters worse, he was as stubborn and endearing as any person you'd ever met.

﹙ 🍒 ﹚ ぃ ──── THANK YOU FOR READING!

Sena’s note: I’m not sure when I'll finish these seven fics, but I hope it’s soon. I’m unsure if anyone will be interested, but this was a preview of what’s coming.

main masterlist.

[the-bar-sinister]

So like. Scope. I always feel like I see people talk about pacing, and I never see people talk about scope.

The way people talk about stories in fiction writing circles, especially fanfiction writing, it often feels like people treat it like there's only two types of scope for a piece of fiction: a "one-shot" 5k or under short story, or a 100k+ beast of a novel.

But like, scope is important, and there's so much more range between those two poles!

And here's the thing. Here's the thing.

You don't need to know the scope of your story when you're coming up with your idea. In fact, you should come up with the core of your idea, and then decide on the scope afterward!

Here is the revelation I have for you.

Your "idea" can span a whole intricately world built series of events that you know the chain of for 1000 years.

And then you can take that 1000 year idea and decide on the scope. You decide which part of the story to tell! What's the important events, or character beats that you want to focus on, and how long will it take you to tell them?

You can have your 1000 year idea, and your first thought might be "well, I need to write 6 whole novels in this series before I get to the part I'm excited about"

But no! You don't have to do that! With Scope (tm) you can actually choose to just focus in on that one part you're excited about and tell a short story! Maybe 5k. Maybe 30k! Bring back the novella!.

Just because you have 1000 years worth of material doesn't mean that the reader needs all of it to understand the beautiful shining jewel of your story.

Scope is like gem cutting and polishing. When you decide on scope, you cut away the parts of your story that stop the part of it that you want people to see from shining.

[moonpascaltoo]

Fic Recs (steve harrington)

just some of my favorite one-shots or series i’ve read on ao3 and few from tumblr. all works ranging from 1.5k to 30k+ i believe. 18+ readers!

some have a tumblr that i tagged, but others i couldn’t find . i am doing this on mobile which is a bit difficult haha! i read these all (except 2) on ao3 so the links will be ao3. i know some are here on tumblr but i didn’t realize till after reading and making this! <3

steve harrington

come home by @stevie-petey <3💕

-"come home to me, okay?"

"always," steve promises

in between saving will, then hawkins, then somehow the world, you fall in love with steve harrington.

(a stranger things rewrite).

dancing with our hands tied by @andvys

-You and Steve have never seen eye to eye, and it never changed, not even when you were pulled into a world of monsters and risked your life to save him. But tension had always been between you both, something that neither of you ever wanted to admit -- but how much longer can you take it when the pull between you gets stronger and stronger each second you spend by each others side?

paint me red by eddiemunsons ao3

-You're one of Vickie's best friends. Her girlfriend, Robin, is in need of a distraction for her best friend, Steve Harrington, who you vaguely remember from school. Which is where you come in.

i’m your idiot by thebestandworstdayofjune ao3 @thebestandworstdayofjune

-Steve Harrington has a way of worming himself into your heart, and social situations you had done your best to exclude him from.

small hands, big heart by finalgirlharrington ao3 @sexybabystevie

-Steve Harrington has a massive crush on you, but his recent lack of luck in the romantic sense has him stuck on how to make a move. Plus, something about you makes him nervous in a way he's never been – in a way he likes. His simplest solution? Flirting via the old 'comparing hand sizes' method.

promise by Harley_Honey_Quinn ao3

-Reader learns about Steve's feelings thanks to some Russian truth serum.

kiss me by @corrodedseraphine

-Your friend is desperately trying to find a person who will give him something more. Wanting to feel what it's like to be loved again and after many failed dates he gets the idea that it's time to go back to King Steve's famous tactics. Telling him that it's not the best idea gets you involved in a deal where you have to help him get another girl. Will helping the boy you're in love with turn out to be a good idea? Probably not.

every rose has its thorn by @corrodedseraphine

-Christmas is coming to Hawkins. It is a time of joy and forgiveness. It turns out that your sister's best friend is looking for a new place to live, and you happen to have a spare room in the apartment. It wouldn't be a problem if that friend wasn't Steve Harrington. A man whom the more you try to avoid even more often comes back like a boomerang.

hearts on the telephone line by t_lostinworlds ao3 @t-lostinworlds

-You thought Steve was okay dealing with a long-distance relationship after you moved for an exciting internship in New York. But you were proven so wrong when your boyfriend finally poured his feelings over the phone. Because distance wasn't making his heart grow fonder, it was breaking it.

competitively stupid by t_lostinworlds ao3 @t-lostinworlds

-It was stupid, jumping off a cliff just to prove that you were better than Steve fucking Harrington. But you were competitive. You were not losing to him. But you know what was stupider? For it to take a near-death situation for you both to confess what you truly feel for each other.

perfect blend by Your_Writer ao3

-No one likes their summer job. Working at a coffee shop was sticky, exhausting, and overall boring. In fact, the highlight of your day was the charming, gentle eyed sailor scooping USS Butterscotch just across the way.

the things we don’t say by rdrickheffley ao3

-Steve Harrington once was the bane of Y/n's existence. He had always been an arrogant asshole and a terrible kisser. She never understood how others fell for the boy's eye-roll worthy charm. Now it seems like he will do anything to prove her wrong about anything.

next time? by rdrickheffley ao3

-Three instances where Steve and reader find themselves in intimate situations.

candyfloss and confessions by ACourtofSnakesandStars ao3

-You’ve been in love with Steve Harrington for years, like every cliche come to life. You’ve battled monsters, found friends within kids with superpowers, and you even managed to graduate. Yet the one thing you’ve never been able to do, is tell Steve how you feel. But maybe you don’t need to wait any longer.

a night to remember by RaeWrites94 ao3

-Steve has to attend his 10 year high school reunion and somehow manages to convince you to go as his date and his fake girlfriend. You've had feelings for him for a long time, but figure, why not? You could probably survive an evening of pretending he liked you back and come out unscathed. Right?

with bated breath by brianmay ao3

-Rumors fly after you attend Steve Harrington’s party one weekend in September. Thinking they were his doing, you do everything in your power to avoid him, which proves easier said than done.

cross my heart (and hope to die) by @talesofesther

-Every time Steve gets hurt, you're there to help pick up the pieces; you just weren't expecting him to fall for you in the process.

tales of a love between the lines by @talesofesther

-Sometimes the thing we want most is right in front of us, and Steve might be just that for you; all you have to do is see what he’s been showing you for a long time.

love is easy by seidenbros ao3

-The day you wrote I love you on a post-it note before you'd said the words out loud, and it's the best note Steve ever got.

everything means nothing if i can’t have you by iridescentpetrichor ao3

-Steve and Y/N go on a double date to impress the other one, but it's only so long until the tension between the two breaks.

you’re not by frostandflames ao3 @frostandflamesfanfic

-The year is 1985, you're on a school field trip to cheer on Hawkins High at the championship game before spring break. When the game doesn't pan out as expected, you're even more surprised to discover the one and only Steve Harrington in only his underwear at your hotel room after being locked out by his teammates. What happens when the two of you have a little heart to heart?

last christmas by frostandflames ao3 @frostandflamesfanfic

-You and Steve had always been childhood friends-and remained that way. As Steve ping-pongs around in his relationship status, you have a hard time keeping your feelings to himself as Nancy surrounds his entire world. What Steve doesn't know is his relationship to Nancy may end your own with Steve.

the scoundrel and the princess by @mrshipsmcgee

-after an awkward run in with Tommy Hagan, Steve Harrington is invited to an awful party where he meets a beautiful stranger.

cling by aloevera

-For as long as you could remember, you and Steve have been close. What others see as clingy, Steve sees as comforting, right? Or, you fell in love with your best friend and suddenly, everything is too much.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part six

author's note: okay......so i can explain. i know it's been like four months, but i swear it wasn't on purpose and tbh i lost track of time. so here's it is after months of waiting. i promise i didn't forget about it, i just had other projects i was working on (like the 30k words i wrote for two separate fics) that really took up most of my inspiration. there is a time jump in this, but not a huge one. but enough excuses! here's to part six (which is 9.4k words, i figured y'all deserved it)!

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, fear of falling in love, moving into angst city baby

day forty-five

you woke up in an unfamiliar place. disoriented, you looked around, noting that it was still dark outside. there was a weight around your waist that was familiar in the sense that you'd felt that sensation before, but unfamiliar in that it smelled like someone new. your heart started racing at the feeling, until you recognized it for what it was: an arm.

your heart rate settled for a moment until you blinked and realized that while you were at home, you were in a different room and considering there was no crib, you could only make one leap in logic:

it was mat's room.

jason's words came back to haunt you almost immediately.

he'll get bored of you eventually. people always do.

your hands felt clammy as you slowly slid out of mat's hold. your knees were shaking. the air was too thick to breathe evenly, but you knew if you started hyperventilating in mat's room, he might wake up and freak out with you.

so you took some shaky breaths and then booked it back to your room.

you stared up at the ceiling for two hours until ella woke up. immediately, you got up, thankful for a distraction from the conflict brewing inside your chest.

when you opened your bedroom door, mat was standing across the hall in his own doorway. his hair was disheveled and his white tee shirt was askew, but it was clear he had the same thought as you.

the two of you stared at each other until one of ella's cries snapped you both back to reality.

"i'll get her," you said quickly before darting into ella's room and ignoring the feeling of his eyes on you. they burned into your back like someone was steaming the clothes hanging off your body.

in the crib, ella was kicking her legs and flapping her arms as much as her sleep sack would allow. and for a moment, you forgot the momentary discomfort at the sight of her gummy smile.

"good morning, sweet girl," you crooned. you reached into the crib and unzipped her sleep sack before picking her up and into your arms. she immediately snuggled into your chest, tucking her head under your chin.

you changed her diaper before heading out to the kitchen where mat was cooking eggs.

you wouldn't look him in the eye, just focused on getting ella into the high chair. mat walked past you, putting her plate of fruit on her high chair tray. it was the closest you'd been since that morning in his bed. and while it was technically innocent, it didn't feel innocent.

as much fun as he was, you'd forgotten that mat was still technically your boss, a friend too, but your boss nonetheless. and sleeping in his bed, regardless of how much you believed you needed it, was a mistake.

you couldn't lose this job, lose ella, lose sydney, but you didn't think you could handle losing mat. not entirely.

so you'd settle for losing the smaller moments of closeness. you'd stay professional with him if only for the sake of keeping your heart and income safe.

god, you hated thinking of him just as an income, but jason's words rang in your head like a small town church bell at noon. was he just waiting to sleep with you? was he just taking pity on you?

it was too early to get a headache.

you sat in a chair next to ella and checked your phone for any messages when a plate was placed in front of you with eggs made in the way you loved and a piece of toast.

"it was all i could manage without giving you food poisoning," mat said sheepishly.

you said a quiet thanks and turned your attention back to your phone, missing the way mat's face contorted into a frown.

"what do you have planned for today?" he asked, taking the seat across from you.

you shrugged, not feeling too keen on going out in public after what happened the night before. you weren't stupid, logically you knew new york was a large city and the odds of running into natalie or jason were slim, but you saw them last night and you weren't too eager to chance repeating the same thing.

"i think we'll just take it easy, stay home and hang out," you said. the words what about you were sitting on the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut.

mat hummed as he took a bite of his toast. "i'm gonna go work out with tito before practice, and then i think we have some interviews or media to do," he said.

you nodded but said nothing. when ella finished her breakfast, which looked like her tossing eggs onto the floor, you scooped the plate up and hurried back into the kitchen, excited to do something more than just sitting in a room with mat. you started washing the plate, not even thinking about the dishwasher three feet away.

"i can get that," he said, reaching around you and grabbing the plate straight out of your hands. he placed in in the dishwasher before grabbing the broom and sweeping up the eggs on the floor as he cooed at his daughter.

your heart lurched in your chest at the sight, at the view of him being so gentle and doting. you cleared your throat and dusted your clean hands on your pants to keep them from doing something stupid like pulling mat to you and asking him to hold you like he did last night.

"i hate to rush off," mat started as he placed the broom back in its corner and washed his hands. "but i told tito i'd actually be on time today." he got ella out of her high chair and kissed her chubby cheeks. "dada loves you ella bean," he said before approaching you.

you did your best to prepare for eye contact. but the bottom line was as soon as you met his eyes, you couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

he was the prettiest man you'd ever seen, with an even bigger heart.

you snapped out of it when ella reached for you, focusing on how her downy brown hair was growing longer, instead of how she was a complete carbon copy of her father.

for a second, you almost felt bad for her birth mother, nine months of being pregnant, all that labor, only for ella to look just like mat.

but then you remembered that same woman dropped her daughter off with him with just a note, and any lingering feelings of empathy and pity immediately vanished.

you took ella and scampered off to her room, ready to get out of mat's presence.

the two of you were playing with some of her toys when you heard mat call out a goodbye before the door shut behind him.

it wasn't until the lock clicked that you could finally breathe.

day fifty-five

"are you coming to the game tonight?" sydney asked over the phone.

you had your cellphone tucked between your shoulder and your ear as you prepped ella's lunch for the day. the baby in question was babbling to herself when she wasn't stuffing her face with the cheerios you gave her until you could give her lunch.

"uh..." you hesitated, trying to play it off like you were too focused on mashing up bananas.

"oh come on," sydney said. "i feel like i haven't seen you in forever."

"you saw me last week."

"that was seven days ago. you didn't even come to the game earlier this week. what was that about?"

the words were on the tip of your tongue, the truth dangled in front of you like low hanging fruit, but you couldn't get yourself to say it. not in his home, not when he would be getting home shortly, not in front of ella, even though she would never be able to repeat it.

sydney said your name. "are you there?"

you sighed through the receiver. "i'll be there."

"great! i'll pick you up!" she said before hanging up.

you and ella ate in silence until mat came through the front door. ella immediately squealed and threw her bananas in the air, some of which landed in her hair, other pieces ended up on the floor.

"ella bean!" mat smiled as he dropped his things on the ground.

he walked over and you shot up out of your seat to walk into the kitchen under the guise of grabbing paper towels to clean up her mess.

"how was she?" mat asked, taking over your job in supervising his daughter eating her lunch.

you shrugged even though he couldn't see you. "she's been fine. it's been a normal day."

"are you coming to the game tonight?" he asked. truthfully, he'd asked you earlier that morning, or maybe the word begged was a better word to use. you could tell he was disappointed that you hadn't gone to his game earlier that week, but he was never going to pressure you.

"yeah, we're riding with sydney."

"do you have anything to wear?" he asked.

your back was turned, so you didn't see the hopeful gleam in his eye. so when you shrugged and said "sydney said she would get me a shirt," you didn't see the way his shoulders sagged and how the corners of his mouth turned down.

when you turned back around, he was back to looking happy.

you started cleaning up the banana off the floor while mat handed ella her water cup.

"she takes a nap right after lunch, right?"

you looked up at him to find him already staring at you. his hazel eyes felt like they could see right through you, like they could tell you were pulling away and wanted to know why.

you nodded, rendered speechless by his gaze.

"i'll put her down, i've missed her." he booped her nose which made her immediately shriek and squeal. "i don't have to be at the arena for another two hours, so you're free to do whatever."

you expected as much, after his first long roadie, mat wanted to do everything concerning ella. considering he got back earlier that week before having a home game two days later, he hadn't been as present as he would like.

and the result was always a clingy mat.

"sounds good," you said.

maybe you'd text sydney to hang out at a coffee shop for the time being. or maybe you'd lock yourself in your room under the guise of napping while you stared at the ceiling and wondered how you got into this situation.

as ella finished up, the idea hit you immediately.

erin, the woman who you nannied for first.

when mat put ella down, you snuck out the front door and across the hall, praying she would be home. you knocked and waited, fully expecting to turn around and go back to mat's apartment.

you stood outside for all of five minutes before turning back around and heading back into mat's apartment.

"everything okay?" mat asked when you walked back inside the apartment. he was just coming from putting ella down if having one of the baby monitors in his hand was any indication.

"yeah, i'm fine," you said. "i'm just gonna go lay down for a little while."

"oh," he replied. "thought we could watch one of those reality shows you like. felt like i haven't seen you in awhile."

you gave him a small smile. "rain check? i'm really tired."

mat smiled back, though it wasn't as confident as it usually was. if you looked hard enough, you could see the edges of it shake, like he was doing his best to keep up appearances.

but you headed back to your room before you could do something stupid like apologize for the emotional distance and ask for forgiveness.

you got got into bed and stared at the ceiling, only taking your gaze off of it to turn your baby monitor on. you weren't sure how long you were in that borderline comatose state, just repeating jason's cutting words in your head, when ella woke up.

you got up when she cried, fully expecting mat to be gone by then, considering it had been an hour and a half. but you walked into ella's room to see him pulling her out of her crib in his game day suit.

and it should've been illegal to see him snuggle and kiss her cheeks. to witness him cooing back at her as he changed her diaper. you leaned against the door frame, unable to keep your heart from soaring at the sight. just to think, a month and a half ago, he was terrified, now he was changing a diaper like he'd done it his entire life.

he didn't notice you until he turned around and nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the sight of you standing there. "jesus fucking christ," he said. "you scared me."

you couldn't help yourself. "you don't say," you quipped with a grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

mat closed the distance between the two of you and passed off ella. "i hate to run, but--"

"you don't have to explain yourself to me," you said. "we'll see you later."

he nodded and booked it out of the room, but not before pressing a kiss to the side of ella's head.

you heard the door lock behind you a beat later.

you and ella spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around before it was time to start getting ready for the game. you had her dressed in her barzal jersey and a coat while you slapped on a pair of jeans and a tank top, waiting for sydney to bring you the shirt you'd end up wearing.

it was a quarter to six when sydney knocked on the door. she had her daughters with her. winnie immediately went to see ella, who was sitting in her playpen with one of her toys in her mouth.

"you look cute," sydney commented before tossing the shirt at you. without even thinking about it, you tugged the shirt over your head and threw on the jacket you had laid out on the couch.

"so do you," you replied while slinging the diaper bag over your shoulder. you quickly scooped ella up and looked at sydney. "you ready?"

she nodded as the two of you got three kids out to her suv. you had ella in one arm, her car seat in the other, with her diaper bag weighing heavily on your shoulder.

fifteen minutes had passed by the time you got all the girls in the car and strapped in yourselves. you thought everything was normal until sydney turned the music on a little louder and looked at you from the corner of her eye.

"what's going on with you and m-a-t," she spelled out his name probably as a precaution to prevent winnie from picking up any details.

you froze, but tried to play it off. "what do you mean?"

sydney rolled her eyes. "don't play dumb. you asked me for a shirt to wear tonight instead of raiding his closet like you usually do. you didn't go to the game earlier this week under some flimsy excuse."

you sighed, knowing you had been caught.

but sydney wasn't done.

"not to mention, m-a-t asked me what happened at the bar because you'd been distant ever since and hadn't talked to him about it." sydney sighed. "i'm not mad," she said. "i just want to know what's going on with you, i thought things were going well. you two seemed..."

you looked over at the blonde. "seemed like what?"

she shrugged. "just thought you two were a good fit is all."

you groaned. "syd--"

"but we don't have to talk about it, i just think you need to have a conversation with him sooner rather than later."

whatever you had to say was cut off by winnie screaming out the lyrics of baby shark.

the five of you arrived with an hour left until the puck drop. thankfully, the wags rented a suite which meant you didn't have to contend with a huge crowd and ella didn't have to feel confined to just one seat the entire night.

grace along with the other wags greeted you and ella with grace offering to take ella from you in exchange for a margarita, an offer you couldn't turn down.

when the boys came out for warmups, you went with sydney and her daughters and ella down to the ice. ella fought the headphones on her head, she kept reaching for them but you had to pull her little hands away so she wouldn't hurt her ears.

it took a few seconds for matt martin to spot the five of you before he was skating over and waving at his daughters and wife. he smiled at you and ella, tapping the glass once before continuing his warm ups. it was seconds later when your mat showed up with a big smile on his face. ella shrieked, and though the sound was lost in the ruckus of the arena, mat looked happier.

your eyes met and the noise died down, even if it was for a brief moment.

you okay? he mouthed.

you nodded and gave him your most convincing smile. it seemed to do the trick because he was beaming back at you as he skated away backwards, eyes locked on yours.

you turned away and caught sydney staring with a smirk. and while she didn't say anything, you could almost hear her train of thought.

when the game finally started, you were all back in the suite. ella was clinging to you, refusing even the idea of being held by someone else. you couldn't blame her, it was getting close to her bedtime and she was always clingy around that time.

you did your best to pay attention to the puck, to the other players on the ice, but your eyes kept finding 13 whether he was on the bench or the ice. he kept glancing around the ice, probably following the puck like you should be, and occasionally talking to his teammates.

you turned when someone nudged you. grace was standing there with a cup of ice water in her hands. "do you wanna sit?" she asked. "i know your arm is getting tired." you smiled and nodded thankfully, following her over to a pair of seats.

she let you sit in silence for just a moment before she started talking. "are you okay? you seem lost in thought tonight."

part of you wanted to be annoyed with the constant interrogation. no one had ever asked you this many times if you were alright. but that thought alone had your heart lurching.

no one had ever checked on you this many times like sydney, grace, and mat had. it was an unusual feeling, and one that made your heart beat faster in your chest while also making your stomach turn.

"i've just got a lot on my mind," you said, hoping the answer would suffice.

grace nodded, like she could recognize when it wasn't worth the effort to keep pestering. "if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here. i know running into an ex is never fun."

you kept a straight face even though grace hit the nail on the head.

the game continued on with the islanders winning 6-2. but you had been so out of it, if anyone asked, you wouldn't be able to tell them who the isles played against.

you made your way down to the locker rooms with ella sleeping against your shoulder and the diaper bag slung over the other shoulder. you would've put her in the car seat, but after an earlier attempt ended in her crying and screaming for ten minutes before she fell back asleep, you decided to just hold her. grace had the car seat in one hand so you wouldn't have to carry it while holding winnie's hand with her other one so sydney could carry her diaper bag and her youngest.

the three of you waited with the other wags, making small talk amongst yourselves like you had all night.

anders came out first and kissed his wife before greeting everyone else. matt came out shortly after with casey. his attention was immediately drawn to winnie who ran into his legs with zero hesitation.

you waited for ten minutes before your mat came out with his game day suit on and wet hair. it felt as familiar as your mother's homemade cooking.

he smiled when he saw you, anything anthony was telling him didn't matter anymore.

"what'd ya think?" he asked.

"you played a good game."

his gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips then to the baby on your shoulder. his brows creased in confusion. "she didn't sleep in the car seat?"

"we tried, but she screamed and wouldn't settle unless i was holding her."

he nodded before adjusting the bag in his hand so he had a free one to scoop the car seat out of grace's grip. he nodded towards the diaper bag on your shoulder. "want me to carry that?"

"you saying i'm not strong enough to carry it by myself?" honestly, you were supposed to be keeping things professional between the two of you, but you just couldn't help but quip back at him. not when he made it so much fun.

mat rolled his eyes and took the bag off your shoulder and slung it over his own. "let's go home."

day sixty-eight

with christmas approaching, you were spending all of ella's nap times, packing your bags and wrapping presents. thankfully, you had the foresight to ship your family's christmas presents to your parents' house.

it was just a matter of wrapping mat and ella's presents.

you might've gone overboard with ella's presents, spending too much money on books and a stuffed animal you thought was cute. mat's present was different.

it was always gonna be different.

originally, you weren't even sure if you were going to get him a present considering you were trying to keep things professional. but sydney let it slip that his present to you was really thoughtful, so you immediately left the apartment as soon as mat got home.

in the end, the tie felt a little impersonal, but you added a note, heartfelt enough to not be insulting, but maintaining an air of professionalism. you kept the presents in your room, knowing mat wouldn't try to guess what you got him if it was out of sight.

mat had roped you into decorating for christmas, a tradition he hadn't honored since moving out to new york, but with it being ella's first christmas, he was going all out.

with ella's first christmas approaching, mat's family made plans to fly in two days before to attend the game. you made plans to leave the city so his family didn't have to get a hotel room and you could miss the christmas eve traffic.

your bags were packed by the door while mat got ella ready.

"who's driving you to the airport?" he asked at the dinner table the other night.

"no one," you said after you'd swallowed your food. "i'm taking an uber."

mat made a noise in the back of his throat. "no you're not. i'll drive you. what time do you have to be at the airport?"

"mat, it's not that serious."

"it is to me. so again, what time do you need to leave?"

mat came walking down the hallway with ella all bundled up against the cold weather that was raging just outside the window. snow flurries were falling down at a rapid rate, something that might've concerned you had mat, a canadian, not been the one to drive you.

he handed ella off to you before scooping your bags up in one hand and opening the front door with the other.

"you don't have to carry my bags, mat."

"well, you're carrying my child, so why would i make you carry bags on top of that?"

"you could've carried ella!"

"not when i was planning on carrying your bags! now let's go, you don't want to miss your flight, now do you?"

the three of you headed out to his car and loaded it up. mat placed your bags in the trunk while you strapped ella in before you both hopped in the front and headed towards the airport.

"you excited to see your family again?"

you nodded. "it'll be good to see everyone again."

"you don't have any relatives you'd rather avoid?"

you couldn't help it, a laugh burst out of your mouth without your permission. "actually not this time around but--"

an alert on your phone cut you off.

flight BA4739 has been cancelled due to a mechanical issue.

"you've gotta be shitting me," you said.

mat glanced at you before quickly turning his eyes back to the road. his attention, though, was still on you. "what happened?"

"my flight's cancelled."

mat eased into the right lane and began the drive to the apartment. "are there any flights you can catch?"

you were a step ahead of him, checking every possible flight out of jfk and shaking your head when you came up empty handed. "it doesn't look like it." you sighed and pressed your head against the head rest. "god, i'm sorry mat. i know your family is coming in tomorrow and this puts a dent in things."

he scoffed. "it's fine, just means they'll have to get a hotel, but i can take care of that easy."

your eyes shot open. "mat, don't put them in a hotel, i can find someone to stay with."

"i'm not kicking you out of our home. that's ridiculous."

you clenched your jaw to keep it from dropping at his statement. mat said it so plainly, it was almost like it wasn't a big deal.

"mat--"

"listen, you're not going to a hotel, that's final. when we get home, we'll check for the next flight out and i'll buy the tickets."

"you don't have to--"

"consider it my christmas present to you," he said like there weren't presents under the tree with your name carefully written on them.

you rolled your eyes, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

when the three of you got back to the apartment, you grabbed ella while mat took the bags. the second you three were settled, you were pulling out your laptop and double checking for flights. when you couldn't find anything, you sighed and resigned yourself to a white christmas in new york.

day sixty-nine

you and ella were dancing to christmas music in the living room when the barzals came in through the door.

"let me see my grandbaby!" nadia said, dropping her purse on the couch.

you handed ella over immediately, though you hung around for a second to see if she would cry. but ella just smiled and stuck a fist in her mouth.

liana came through next, hugging you briefly before turning her attention to her niece.

a man who you'd never met but knew to be mat's father walked in carrying bags of his own with mat following behind him. you fully expected to be bypassed in favor of ella, and you wouldn't even blame him. but he stopped in front of you and placed the bags on the ground at his feet. with a heavy hand he'd placed on your shoulder, mike barzal began to speak.

"thank you," he said. "thank you for taking care of my son and my grandchild. when we heard the news, my wife and i were trying to figure out what to do, but then mat called a few days later and sang your praises." he squeezed your shoulder gently. "i can't tell you how much it means to us knowing that you're here taking care of ella and helping mat."

you managed a smile, not really having the words to communicate how much having mat and ella has changed your life.

mike squeezed your shoulder one more time before walking over to where his wife and daughter stood.

mat approached you next, the bags he carried in were resting by the door.

"i can sleep on the couch, or go out and buy an air mattress and sleep in ella's room," you said. "just say the word."

mat rolled his eyes and elbowed you lightly. "quit it. this is your home too, i'm not kicking you out."

"i hope i didn't hear you offering to vacate your room," nadia turned around and faced you, quirking an eyebrow. "we're not going to make you leave."

"you wouldn't be making me do anything, i'm offering--"

"and we're denying the offer," she said matter of factly. "there's a nice hotel not too far from here."

"i don't want to split up your family for christmas!"

nadia approached and with the arm not holding ella, she reached out and squeezed your hand. "sweetheart, you've been taking care of my babies, you're family to me now."

you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"i'm sorry you don't get to spend christmas with your family," she started. "but i'm glad i get to watch you open the presents we got you in real time."

your jaw dropped. "mrs. barzal you didn't have to--"

she shook her head. "you deserve to be appreciated, sweetheart." then she directed her attention to ella. "isn't that right, baby?"

liana turned her attention to you. "are you going to the game tonight?"

you shook your head. "i'm going to grace's to help with last minute decorations for the team christmas party."

"are you taking ella?"

you shrugged. "i figured i'd leave that up to you. i can take her if you'd rather focus on the game and not a cranky baby.

nadia pressed kisses to ella's cheeks, enough that the little girl shrieked with laughter. "let's play it by ear, if she's cranky before the game, she can go with you, if that's alright."

you smiled and nodded.

as the day went on, ella stayed in pretty high spirits, even when mat left to head to the arena. she took a lengthy nap which gave nadia enough confidence to take her to the game. you ubered to grace's house, a secret that was meant to stay between you and liana, who saw you ordering the ride.

you arrived at grace's house five minutes before the puck dropped. in true hockey wife fashion, she had the game pulled up in the living room so you could watch while you worked. sydney's daughters were camped out in front of an ipad, watching bluey while their mom came in and out of the room with bags of groceries. grace's daughters, you were told, were already in bed.

"where's the baby?" winnie asked when she saw you.

you couldn't help yourself and laughed. "she's at the game."

"why aren't you with her?"

you smiled and squatted down to look her in the eye. "her grandparents are watching her, so i came over here to help."

winnie furrowed her brows, scrutinizing you. "but you're her mom, you're supposed to be with her. my mom is always with me."

"i'm not ella's mom, winnie. i'm her babysitter. like when your parents go out sometimes and they have a babysitter watch you? that's my job."

"then where's her mom?"

you opened and closed your mouth a few times before you realized the words just failed you. there was no way to say the truth other than plainly.

so you shrugged and said "i don't know."

sydney and grace rounded the corner and smiled when they saw you, greeting you with hugs.

"so it shouldn't take too long," grace started. "we're just adding a few decorations, sydney's gonna help me in the kitchen with prepping some of the food for christmas." her attention turned to you. "do you think you can handle the decorations around the house? it should just be the downstairs and the railings up to the second floor. nothing too extravagant."

you looked at the totes of decorations numbering in three total on the floor. "i can do that," you said.

grace smiled wide. "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

you smiled back and immediately got to work. it wouldn't take you long, the house was already pretty decorated, but grace had gone about and beyond and insisted on getting stockings for every player's family still in town, which was more than half the team. there was a table in the front entrance where you put the players' stockings and laid them out in neat rows.

on the stockings, there was the last name of the player with names below it being members of their family. marty's had sydney's, winnie's, and alice's name below his own. sorokin's just had his own name. but you hesitated when you pulled mat's out of the tote.

barzal was in big letters with ella's name underneath.

and then your own.

you blinked over and over, thinking maybe you were hallucinating.

"i hope i didn't overstep!" grace's voice startled you out of your stupor. "when mat told me you were staying in town for the holiday, i went ahead and added your name. do you know if his parents and sister are joining us?"

you shook your head. the plan was you'd be with the barzals christmas eve and christmas morning, but christmas night, when you went to the lee's house, nadia, mike, and liana would stay back. as far as you heard, anders had extended the invitation, but they declined it, not wanting to impose.

grace nodded. "okay, sounds good then!" she made a move to walk away but stopped when she saw the look on your face. you weren't quite sure what she was seeing from her perspective, but your mind was racing and your feet felt like lead. "are you okay? you seem in your head."

you shrugged. "just trying to figure things out."

"is everything okay with mat? you two seemed fine not too long ago."

and you were. but you hadn't told sydney or grace about how you slept in the same bed as mat the night you ran into your ex. and you weren't going to share that now. they'd both read into it, think things were different than they actually were.

"i just miss my family," you said.

it was clear she didn't believe you, but thankfully, grace let it go. she walked back to the kitchen while you continued to lay out the stockings.

you finished with the stockings shortly after, not sparing another glance to the one with your name on it.

it took another thirty minutes to finish the decorating before you joined grace and sydney in the kitchen. you took a seat at the bar and watched them prepare some of the dishes for christmas. it was mostly just chopping and putting things into pans and oven safe dishes.

you were halfway listening to the chatter happening between the wives when your phone buzzed.

liana told me you ubered to anders'?

mat.

you texted back, a small smile on your face. sydney was already here, i didn't have a ride otherwise.

could've asked me to drop you off.

two hours early? no thanks.

well, stay there until the game is over. i'm picking you up.

you rolled your eyes, but still couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"what's mat saying now?" sydney asked.

"huh?" you asked, head snapping up to see two smirking blondes staring back at you.

"mat," grace said. "what did he say?"

"how did you--"

"you only smile like that with him," sydney explained. "certainly never smiled like that around your ex, the one time i saw him with you."

at the mention of jason, your stomach churned, but you kept up appearances.

you, grace, and sydney were chatting on the couches when the front door opened with matt, anders, and mat walking in. winnie, who was originally dozing off, popped up from laying on the couch to see her father standing there. she smiled and ran over to him.

anders walked in the living room and kissed his wife.

which just left you and mat, staring at each other across the room and not saying a word.

"how was the game?" sydney asked.

all three of the hockey players shrugged in unision. "fine," anders said before collapsing on the couch next to his wife. "how was your night?"

grace looked at you and sydney before smiling and turning to her husband. "i'd say it was productive and fun." you and sydney hummed in response.

matt came and sat next to his wife and a sleeping alice who was in sydney's arms. which just left an empty spot next to you and mat who was still standing in the doorway.

"barzy, you gonna come sit or stand there awkwardly?" anders chirped.

almost like he was snapped out of a daze, mat walked over and took the seat next to you, leaving about four inches between your hips and his. almost immediately, he threw his arm over the back of the couch behind your head.

you turned and looked at him for a moment, forgetting about the other people in the room. "ella with your parents?"

he nodded. "i offered to take her, but my mom insisted on putting her down."

"did you score at all tonight?"

he grinned and nodded yet again, but it was marty who cut him off.

"should've seen him! two goals, one assist."

your jaw dropped as you looked back at mat. "that's insane!" he immediately beamed at your reaction. your eye contact was broken up when his phone vibrated. mat's face twisted into a frown before he stood up and offered you a hand.

"hate to rush off, but my mom just said ella keeps crying and won't go to sleep, so we gotta go."

marty and sydney stood to their feet, each carrying a child. "we should also be heading out," matt said. anders and grace stood up a beat later, offering to walk all of you to the door.

matt and sydney exited first, with you and mat trailing behind them. mat's hand rested lightly on your lower back, something that had your knees trembling.

grace and anders hugged all of you goodbye and promised to see you in two days. they stood on the front porch and watched as all of you got into your respective cars.

mat didn't say anything until he was pulling out of the neighborhood. unlike the times before, the silence wasn't tense or awkward, it was just calm.

"did you have fun?" he asked.

"yeah, it was nice seeing them outside of hockey games and bar meet ups." you yawned.

"missed you at the game, it wasn't quite the same without you there."

"you scored twice and assisted on one goal, i'd say you did fine without me."

"could've gotten a hat trick if you were there."

you furrowed your brows, but there was a small smile playing at the edges of your lips. this felt normal, like nothing had changed, just you and mat. "how do you figure?"

he shrugged. "i always play better when you're there."

you almost did it. you almost asked him why. but you were scared of the answer, scared of what it would change.

scared that it wouldn't change a thing.

he's not gonna fall in love with you.

it was only a matter of minutes before you were back at your apartment. the two of you took the elevator to get to your floor.

you could hear ella's cries through the front door as mat hastened to unlock it. the second the door was open, every head turned towards the two of you. mat shut the door while you walked over to where liana was holding a crying ella.

ella immediately reached out for you, rubbing at her eyes when she finally settled on your hip. "sorry," you apologized to mat's family.

"what're you apologizing for, sweetheart?" nadia asked. she squeezed your arm before ushering her family to the front door. "we need to get to our hotel and get some rest. we'll see you three tomorrow."

"bye mom," mat kissed his mother's cheek and hugged liana and mike before walking them to the door and locking it behind them.

you stared at him, even as he turned around and made eye contact with you. you finally noticed a line on his forehead that you missed earlier.

you gestured to your own forehead. "you have a line right here..." you trailed off.

mat reached up a hand and felt for it before rolling his eyes. "it's from my helmet, dumbass."

you gasped and covered the one ear of ella's that wasn't pressed against your collarbone. "in front of the baby?"

"you said worse two days ago when you hit your hip on the kitchen counter."

you rolled your eyes, which seemed to be a recurring theme between the two of you that night. "i'm gonna try to take the queen to bed, wish me luck."

"i can put her down if you want," he said but you were already walking down the hallway and waving him off.

it took twenty minutes to settle ella down enough to go to sleep, and by the time you hit your mattress, you were out like a light.

day seventy-one

you woke up when the sunlight peeked through the blinds. your heart immediately shot to your throat when you realized you couldn't hear ella's sound machine through the baby monitor. the panic didn't settle when you turned over and realized it was off.

you jumped out of bed, barely remembering to throw on a sweatshirt over your tank top, and threw the door open.

you were immediately greeted with the sound of christmas music coming from the kitchen. it wasn't until you rounded the corner and saw mat making eggs with ella on his hip that you finally relaxed.

mat turned around at the sound of your heavy panicked breathing. his brows were furrowed and he moved the pan off the stove when he saw you were winded. "are you okay?"

"the monitor was off, i'm so sorry i thought i turned it on last night but i forgot--"

"i turned it off this morning," mat said. "figured you deserved a chance to sleep in."

ella smiled at seeing you and reached for you. mat didn't hesitate to walk her over, probably to make it easier to cook breakfast. you took ella and cherished the snuggles she gave you.

"when is your family coming over?"

mat tapped his phone, presumably to check the time or his texts. "fifteen minutes or so?"

you spared a glance outside. "will they be okay in the snow?"

"uh oh, mama bear's coming out," he teased. "we're literally from canada, my family will be fine."

you nodded, feeling heat crawl up your neck at the slight overreaction and concern.

the three of you sat at the table, eating the eggs and sausage mat made. normally, when you were with your family, you'd eat homemade cinnamon rolls, but maybe this year was about changing traditions and embracing them.

you picked up your phone and called your mom, waiting for her to answer. when she didn't pick up, you just shot her a quick "merry christmas" text and telling her to call you back when she gets the chance, that you couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.

by the time the three of you finished breakfast, his family was knocking at the door, greeting the three of you with an excited "merry christmas" when mat opened the door. while they got settled, you took ella out of the high chair and carried her into the living room.

you sat on the floor in front of the recliner and plopped ella in your lap while mike and nadia brought their wrapped presents in. mat and liana were the ones to pass them all out while their parents got situated on one end of the couch.

you were surprised to see some presents for you written in handwriting you knew did not belong to mat, part of you fully expecting nadia to have been bluffing two days ago.

when the presents were passed out, mat took the seat behind you in the recliner, even going as far as to let you lean against his shin for support.

"now, i don't know how you do it in your family, but in the barzal family, we going youngest to oldest, and we record everything," mike said, holding his phone up. "our sweet ella, though, is the first person to take away liana's long standing reign over opening presents first."

mat got out of the recliner, choosing to sit on the floor on your left, seemingly to help ella open her presents. you scooted back to use the recliner as back support now that mat was sitting next to you.

you heard a beep, presumably of mike's camera starting to record.

"let's open this one, ella bean," mat said to his daughter. he started ripping it at the edge, carefully placing the present in front of her and waiting to see if she did anything with it.

ella stared at it, but otherwise seemed uninterested

"look ella," you said, reaching around her and tugging the paper a little more.

she was uninterested until she heard the distinct sound of ripping. then she tried it for herself, laughing and clapping her hands when it made the noise she liked.

her first present was a puzzle made up of the letters of her name from liana. her next present was from nadia and mike, a box of playpen balls. you couldn't wait to open them, to get her settled in her playpen with them and watch her entertain herself.

mat helped her open the books everyone had bought her. he must've told his family she'd gotten into reading lately, because you weren't the only one contributing to her library.

mat's present to ella was a walker. she'd started crawling a few weeks ago, and mat was determined to get her to start walking before the end of the year.

your last present was the last one for her to open. it was just in a gift bag, and ella thoroughly enjoyed taking the tissue paper out once she got a hang of it. but nothing could've prepared you for the shriek that left her mouth when she saw the stuffed hippo.

you didn't think you'd ever seen her smile that big.

she reached for it with grabby hands, bringing it to her chest when she got it.

"guess we know her favorite gift," mat chuckled.

the rest of the morning was filled with the other presents being opened. you ended the morning with cute sweaters and a barzal jersey.

"so you can stop wearing mat's," liana had said. "figured you'd at least want something clean to wear to games."

mat had mumbled something under his breath, but when you asked him to repeat himself, he just pressed a kiss to the top of ella's head and kept his mouth shut.

when it was mat's turn to open gifts, you could feel yourself flush with embarrassment when he opened your gift. you didn't know the platonic way of saying "i got this because it would bring out your eyes," so you settled with "i thought you'd like it."

and he did, he swore it would be the tie he'd wear in the first game of the new year when you got back in town.

nadia made a wonderful christmas lunch. it was light because she knew you were going to the lee's in a matter of hours, but still better than anything mat could've cooked up.

it wasn't long before the three of you were saying your goodbyes with mike, nadia, and liana all promising to come see you soon, and to thank you for taking care of their newest addition.

just like any other time the three of you left the apartment, you carried ella while mat grabbed the diaper bag.

ella sat in her car seat, snuggling her hippo while mat drove.

"you must be pretty proud of yourself for that hippo gift," he said.

you smiled at him, reveling in the way he'd occasionally take his eyes off the road to look at you. "i am. i have an extra one in my closet just in case this one gets messed up."

his jaw dropped. "you're a fucking genius."

you weren't the last ones to get to anders' and grace's house, but you surely weren't the first. there was a line of cars parked on the street, none of which you recognized.

"are we taking the car seat inside?" you asked when mat put the car in park.

his hand paused over the door handle. "do you think we should?"

you shrugged. "we could always come back out and get it if we need it. but i'm willing to bet that she's gonna be passed around like a hot potato tonight."

mat rolled his eyes but sighed anyway. "as long as dobson doesn't hold her, it'll be fine." with that, he got out of the car and opened the back door to grab the bag.

"wait why?" you asked, getting out and unbuckling ella. "what's wrong with dobson?"

"he's like 23!"

you blinked. "am i missing something? why is that a problem?"

"he's too young to hold her, he'd do something dumb like drop her."

you rolled your eyes as you picked ella up, but said nothing.

the three of you were immediately accosted by christmas music and food smells when you walked through the front door of the lee house.

"you made it!" grace exclaimed, coming out of the living room to greet you. "grab your stocking and head to the couches, i think my husband is gonna do a toast and then we'll get started on dinner."

you nodded along and turned to look at mat who hadn't said anything. your heart dropped straight to your toes when you saw him pick up the stocking that made your mind go blank the other night. his fingers traced over his last name, then ella's name, then yours. he hesitated on yours though, fingers running over it like it was something delicate.

it felt weird to watch that moment, like you were intruding on something private, but before you could look away, he looked up at you. "did you see this?" he asked.

you nodded. "saw it the other night. are you mad?"

he quickly shook his head. "nope. just caught off guard." he glanced back down at the stocking before looking up at you and smiling. "let's get on with this, shall we?"

the night started with anders toasting to the team, but more importantly the wives and girlfriends and support behind each member who'd played a large role whether they realized it or not.

mat nudged you at that moment, which earned him an elbow in the side and a wink from anthony who stood next to him.

when they broke off for dinner, mat offered to take ella so you could get your plate first, but you declined, saying you could wait a few more minutes.

while he was gone, sydney approached. "so, how was this morning? get caught up under any mistletoe?" she nudged you. "get any sentimental gifts?"

when you thought about it, you didn't really. the gifts you got, while amazing, weren't tear jerking, which was surprising considering sydney had said mat's gift to you was thoughtful.

but what was thoughtful about a spa gift card and some bath bombs?

"nope, just the typical gifts, you know?"

sydney's face twisted a little before it righted itself when mat came back with a plate of food.

"got you what i thought you'd like," he said, handing the plate to you.

your brows furrowed. "i thought we agreed you'd eat first."

but he smirked. "no, you did."

"mathew. go eat!"

he shook his head. "not before you. now, let's trade, i'll take my child and you take the plate and go eat with sydney and the other wives if you want." mat handed the plate to sydney before taking ella and walking away before you could say anything.

you watched him walk away for a moment before turning to your friend, only to find her already looking at you. "what?"

she had a smirk for reasons you weren't sure you wanted to know about. "oh nothing."

the night continued on without much fanfare, with you and mat leaving around the same time as the martins again because of the children all three of you brought.

you'd made it back home before midnight. mat this time, wanted to put ella to bed, making sure to leave the hippo out of her crib.

you were in your room packing the last bit of your things so you could leave tomorrow and fly home. you were in the zone until you heard a throat being cleared. when you turned around, mat was leaning up against the doorway with a box in his hand.

"i know you're probably tired, but i have one last present for you."

"mat--"

"i didn't want to give it to you in front of my parents and liana, just seemed too personal." he offered no other explanation and just handed you the box.

you took it carefully, going to your bed and sitting down on the edge to open the present. when you pulled the lid off the box, you were staring at tissue paper until you pulled it away to reveal a photo album.

oh god.

it was the thoughtful present sydney had talked about.

you immediately pulled it out of the box and started flipping through it. the photos were some you'd never seen before, but they were all of you and ella. until you got further in, the photos went from just you and ella to you, mat, and ella.

you looked like a proper family.

sydney or grace must've had a hand in it, because half the photos you didn't remember being taken and they were all candids.

you could feel your eyes water, you noticed the pressure. but you kept wiping at your face to prevent them from falling onto the album itself.

you looked up at mat who looked the most unsure of himself since that first night he had ella. "i hope it wasn't over stepped, i just figured you would like to see how important you are to me, to us, me and ella." he gestured at the book. "some of the photos i took, others i got from grace and syd. i hope it's not weird or anything--"

but you were already up and crossing the room towards him.

a beat later you grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his lips to yours.

he responded not even a split second later, his mouth moving against yours. mat's arms came around your waist while your hands made a home in his hair.

was kissing always supposed to be this charged? to feel this right?

you had no idea how long you stood there, kissing mat, before you both pulled away to breathe. your eyes opened slowly, only to meet his hazel irises almost immediately.

and then reality hit you.

jason's words haunting you at just the right time.

he's not gonna fall in love with you. you're a no good bitch who didn't know what she had when she had it.

you pulled away instantly and stumbled back into your room, dodging mat's hold when he tried to reach out for you.

"what's going on?" he asked. "what just happened?"

you shook your head and grabbed your bag, moving past him without making contact. "this was a mistake," you said. "i have to go."

god you felt sick to your stomach.

mat was calling your name, but you kept walking, out the front door, down the stairs, and onto the street where you hailed a taxi.

it wasn't until you got in that you exhaled.

what the fuck had you done?

taglist:

@nicoleloveshockey @thg02 @fallinallincurls @bbbbruins @random-readers-world @sydsxoxo @jhughesy @whenmypartysover @sunflowerhood @spencereidbasis @icanfsplel @avareadsthings @zegraswrites @matthewkniesys @heyitsmeimdead @kashee-h @bordelhoe @diary-of-jj @literatureluster @dani746 @barzyblogbabe @tomhollandsbabymama @wickedlovely121 @coldheartedmar @oh-my-ladymay @heartsforhischier @brrbrina @sebsfeverdream @cathamnsns-diary @coldheartedmar @wickedlovely121

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I really really hate to be that person - especially because I know a lot of people are under the impression that fanfic authors are greedy and we should be grateful for any comments we get, even if those comments are full of unauthorized concrit, even if they're kind of rude, even if they're weirdly self-shaming (sometimes insinuating that people should feel bad over reading the dark or smutty content in the fics or that we should feel bad for writing it in the first place even though you're also reading it??).

But like, lately, I have been getting so many comments along the lines of "this fic should be longer!!" "I wish this was a series!!" "please turn this into a series!" "I would read endless sequels of this!!!" - today someone literally commented on one of my fics saying that it was a war crime that the fic was 30k instead of being 'a whole series'. And I totally understand the mindset that if something is good, you want more of it. If you enjoy something, you want more of it. But these comments are definitely not as flattering as people think they are.

When reading those comments - it doesn't always come off as a compliment. Most of my fics range from 5k to 30k on average, and they are usually oneshots or oneshots that I have split into multiple parts in order to be more readable - most of my longer, ongoing series are abandoned because I didn't have the steam to maintain them. (Most people don't know at all how hard it is to write a good, coherent, well-plotted 100k fic and actually keep up with it.) After I post the fic I have written later this week, I will have written over 400k this year alone, with my entire AO3 having over one million words split between 79 different fics.

So often, having people look at my fics and having their only comment be to 'write more' - feels like an insult. Because I do write more. I have written more. I write consistently. (It just sucks that people have almost nothing to say about what I have already written.)

Having people look at my fics - usually very long fics - and go "hey, this would be better if it was longer!!" or "hey, that was good, but the only productive thing I have to say about it is: make it longer" - it always feels very discouraging.

It doesn't make me want to rush to write more of that fic. In fact, most of the time, I actively avoid working on sequels to fics where the only comments are 'more please' because I know the only thing people will say about the sequel is 'when are you gonna make more?' - and oftentimes, I don't intend to make more.

I have said this in another post, but the ending to my fics are always intentional. I don't write fics with the mindset of turning them into a 100 part series. I write fics with the mindset of making them like a film or a short TV series - telling a capsule of a story with a very intentional beginning, middle, and end. And if I write a sequel, it's because I feel there is more to be told - but I will also cap off that sequel with a very intentional ending.

(Also, don't get me started on the complex of - if fics don't have the classic 'happy ending' people feel like every single thread needs to be resolved until it gets to a more classic happy ending, when I love writing intentional melancholic and thoughtful endings.)

Also - in general, I feel like people don't understand how much work goes into a fic. It might take you about 2 hours to read a fic that's 30k (and a lot of people who are avid readers probably read faster than that, reading it in an hour or less) - but concepting that fic, writing that fic, and meticulously editing that fic so that it can be readable and pleasant for people takes upwards of 20 hours of work. I would say realistically, upwards of 30 hours. And those are just working hours - hours sitting at the computer actively working. That doesn't include the time spent in between workshopping the ideas in my head while I am doing other mundane tasks in life.

It's very, very easy to consume a 30k oneshot in one sitting and then hold out your plate and go "more please!!" without putting any thought into how much work went into the original fic.

All of this just to say - please think about these things next time you are commenting on a fic (or even closing a fic without commenting at all), or doing something stupid like generating a fic with AI - which steals from everyday hard working fanfic writers. Fanfiction is hard work - it's a labour of love, and it shouldn't be about blind consumerism where you finish one and then rapidly start looking for the next one. You should appreciate each one like a good, hand pulled taffy instead of gobbling them all down like cheap candy mass made by factory machines.

Yeah - I think that's it.

-your local over worked (but still passionate) fanfic writer

[fawnandshadows]

I Love You, I'm Sorry

I Miss You, I’m Sorry

Word Count: 30k

Warnings: Language, Mental Health Issues

AO3

Two Augusts ago I told the truth, oh, but you didn't like it, you went home

You're in your Benz, I'm by the gate, Now you go alone

“So,” Azriel’s voice crackled over the phone. “You’re staying with Feyre and Rhysand?” 

Elain was surprised he’d answered her call. For the last two weeks she had tried to call him a handful of times and just sat there while it rang against her ear. It wasn’t until she was nestled on her new bed in Feyre’s house that he answered. She wondered if he knew. 

“Yeah, I just wanted to let you know,” Elain said, leaning against the fortress of pillows on her plush bed. Feyre must have had a ball decorating the entire house, the room she was staying in was a luxurious sea green with gold accents. “I’m trying to work on the whole communication thing. A bit.” She forcefully clenched her teeth to stifle her ramblings. 

“A bit?” Azriel asked, sounding slightly more in focus than before. 

“Yeah,” Elain said, her fingers toying with the tassels on her comforter. Even though June was just around the corner it was cold enough that Elain sought to huddle under the massive, fluffy blanket on her bed. It was only her second night there, but she and the bed got along nicely. She might only be in it for a short time, but it was a nice love affair. “Some things don’t need to be said.” 

Heavy, uncomfortable silence fell between them. Her foot firmly in her mouth. 

“Just that—”

“It’s fine, Elain,” He cut her off in a clipped voice. “Somethings are better left unsaid,” Was he talking about her? Spiders crawled under her skin at the thought, her one moment of honesty in the last five years had caused so much messy turmoil. “For the sake of communication,” Her breath caught in her throat. “You should know Feyre is planning a surprise party tomorrow.” 

Elain groaned, slinking down in her bead. Her hair tangling against the pillow as she sunk below the line of her comforter. 

“Define party?” Elain asked, the knowledge biting at the back of her head that Azriel had known she was moving before she had told him. She wondered how long — how many calls did he ignore knowing he couldn’t avoid her forever? Would he have answered any of them if she hadn’t moved back? 

“Pizza,” He said neutrally and Elain could hear him moving over the receiver. A fridge opening? “Nesta and Cassian. Rhysand and Feyre,” She heard glass shifting and the rustling of plastic. “And me.” Two weeks ago that sentence would have ended with And me and Gwyn, but two weeks ago they wouldn’t have been having this conversation at all. 

“That’s it?” Elain asked, scrunching her face as little flickers of hope fluttered in her chest. It shouldn’t be too awkward. If they could keep Nesta and Azriel away from each other…The break up between Azriel and Gwyn had not been pretty, Elain heard. She was sitting on the floor of her bedroom packing when Feyre called her, she answered, unknowing that Feyre was calling her to give her a play-by-play of the mess she had caused. Azriel had called it off a week after the long weekend in the cabin and Gwyn (understandably) had asked for a reason and Azriel couldn’t give one — he had tried to claim cold feet, but she offered to postpone. He tried to say he just ‘wasn’t the marrying kind’ but she insisted that after three years together how could marriage be any different? She asked if there was someone else and he firmly said no, but apparently she didn’t believe him. He didn’t so much as hesitate, but Gwyn swore there was no other reason for him to want to call off the wedding, unless he didn’t love her. Azriel’s silence had prompted her to throw a vase at his head, he dodge and it shattered across the wall. Gwyn had packed her bag and left that night to stay with Nesta. Nesta had called Feyre the next day, asking if Azriel had talked to her or Rhysand. Feyre had called Elain later that day. 

“That’s it,” Azriel said, shutting the door and Elain heard the pressure release of a popped bottle cap. Beer, probably. “I wasn’t going to go, but you know how Feyre is.” Impossible to say no to. 

Elain tossed the words over in her mouth before saying, “Was it me or Nesta you didn’t want to see?” 

His sighed rankled her spine. Like steam slowly being released from his body. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Elain said quickly, trying to save him from answering because in all honestly the answer was probably both of them. 

“You and I,” Azriel spoke like it pained him, his voice a tension laced coil. “We aren’t together, Elain. I need you to know that.” 

An elephant stepped on her chest. 

“I know.” she said in a meek voice. It was startlingly clear that they weren’t together, especially since that night her memories have been screaming at her from when they were together. Even more vividly than the ones that haunted her every waking moment and followed her around the city. 

He paused for a moment and Elain wondered if he could hear her heartbeat. 

“We should talk,” He said evenly and Elain could feel him pulling away from her, what little he had deemed to give her slipped out of her fingers. “In person. Once you get settled.” He wasn’t in a rush, she realized, to have a conversation with her. Not that it was surprising, but she had hoped…she wasn’t sure what she had hoped. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Elain rushed out. The fragility of their conversation wasn’t lost on her. It felt like she was balancing on a pin while juggling and doing an astoundingly horrific job at it. “When-um-whenever you’re free.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Azriel said and clicked off the phone before Elain could say goodbye. Her phone almost slid from between her fingers, but she caught it before it knocked into her nose. She…didn’t know how she felt about the call. Despite her best efforts, a wiggling of joy (or something as equally unfamiliar) wormed inside of her. 

Delicate. Everything was delicate.  She sank further into the bed, replaying the conversation with Azriel on a loop. His voice was so real she swore he was beside her. It was friendly, almost, if she squinted. Friendlier than any other conversation they’d had in the last five years and maybe…maybe…maybe…something good was around the corner.

Read The Full Story On AO3

[mythmerth]

from my September readings I’ve collected a few merlin fic recs for the people…

For favorite long (80k+) fic, it was The Great Merlin Bake Off by Elizabeth. 102k and it delivered with baked goods that made me want to bake them despite my pathetic baking knowledge along with some exquisite kitchen tension. I never knew how badly I needed this fic until I read it and I Will be rereading.

For favorite mid length (30-80k) fic, it was The Fools will be still Fools by horsecrazy. Might’ve been my overall favorite for the month, just SO silly with classic modern merthur moments and god yes trap these fools on a train and give them one bed please and THANK YOU🙏🏻

For favorite short (>30k) fic, it was On a Snowy Evening (paint the forest with color remix) by alby_mangroves. Such a soft story full of love and destiny and art by crimsonswirls. I’m a sucker for a reconnection fic with soulmate bond realness and this was such a pleasure to read.

(YES I know that 80k is long and even 30k is pretty long for “short” but lord help me my reading distribution is SKEWED HEAVY in the 40-70k range)

I’ll rapid fire a few more that I also really enjoyed!

The Matched series by SubmissivelyWritten, haven’t finished the series yet but I’m close!

The Only Safe Thing by SPowell, I’m a sucker for roommates and arthur in this is sooOoOooO!! lovely.

The View from the Mountain by Nympha_Alba. soft and beautiful and now I want to travel

Anything by horsecrazy, I really enjoyed their writing!

and my favorite reread of the month was All the Dead are Here by Footloose. like if I’m gonna reread anything we all know it’s gonna be footloose excellence. if you enjoy BAMF yearny merthur matching each others crazy during an apocalypse, I absolutely recommend.

if anyone’s wanting more niche categories for recs or want a different format for this monthly breakdown let me know! I’m kinda just trying this out right now so I don’t know the proper etiquette for this stuff, I just wanna share some of my faves. also feel free to ask for any specific kinds of fics and I will give because lord do I Read.

I’ll be back in a few weeks with my October reading recs 🫡

[ilovechuuy4]

Hello!! I really loved your writing style and I was wondering if you could do bsd characters going shopping with gn!reader 🤭 like what they’d buy and do at the store?

A/N: hai! Hello! So when i read this I wasn’t sure if you wanted headcanons or scenarios so a did a bit of both! Some characters don’t have scenarios but if you want any specific character(s) feel free to request again! This might take longer than anything because I am working on two other things! But I’ll try my best to get it out as soon as possible and I really hope you like it! (There is a little bit of all characters from ADA, PM, & DOA) I'm also trying it to post stuff AS often and just take breaks between posts so please bare with me! (I also wasn't sure if you wanted it to be a friend thing or not.. 😭

Headcanons❀

Armed Detective Agency

Characters; Dazai, Yosano, Atsushi

Dazai🐌

•cuponer. For sure but not because he doesn't want to spend money it's just because he is broke(he lost his wallet in the river remember?

• He would try getting you into goodwill. But if you refuse he's making you pay (he would get you like.. Two things from more expensive places w kunikida's wallet)

Yosano🦋

• She goes all out for you getting you anything you want and then she goes to get food with you(basically giving you royalty treatment)

•She will end up spending over 1000 dollars for sure, 500 for you and 500 for her, all her money too

Atsushi 🐯

• He wouldnt know exactly what to get you but he would try helping

• Atsushi is the one to see something he would think you would look good in and ask "what about this one? It would look nice on you"

Port Mafia

Characters; Chuuya, Akutugawa & Gin (together

Chuuya🍷

• he definitely has big money, buying you all the fancy and expensive things. Any store you wanna go to he will (def recommending things for your too)

• Y'all will be at the store for hours on end trying on different things getting the perfect outfit(s) for you

Akutugawa & Gin🔪

• Gin is helping you find everything and akutugawa is paying since akutugawa isn't too social anyways

• Akutugawa would probably recommend two or three places he shops at but that's all, meanwhile gin is running around with you helping find things that fit you well

Decay of Angels

Characters; Fyodor, Bram

Fyodor📖

• he would just pay he wouldn't help you too much. Maybe recommend some places but that's about it.

• he would want you to buy a lot if stuff so he could just spoil you (he's def not into shopping with that one fucking shit)

Bram🧛‍♂️

• Bram def drags you into hot topic if you drag him into more preppy places (he'd pay for everything

• the moment y'all walk into the store he is already be tired after one store

Scenarios

characters; Dazai O, Chuuya N, Fyodor D.

Dazai🐌

Yours and Dazai's shopping trips were usual thrift stores or goodwill stops(but like.. Thrift store have GOOD stuff) but today's was different. Dazai had told you he took Kunkida's wallet, you was worried but he said it was fine because he did it a lot, but was it REALLY okay? Okay maybe it was okay. Don't get anyone wrong, stealing is wrong but. Kunikida knew how Dazai was for sure this basically happened daily. So you just went on with it, just this day.

About a few hours pass, y'all had ate, went to the usual thrift shops AND the mall stopping by various places (whatever stores you like) Your hands were full of bags and you were ready to go home, but Dazai wanted to bring you to one more place, a jewelry store.. Y'all entered and everything was different prices ranges the most expensive around 30k and the lowest was around 4k, but they all looked like, couple/friendship rings/necklaces/bracelets so maybe that was the reason it was SO expensive.

A few minutes of wondering and then something caught Dazai's eye. It was gold matching rings, they look so, beautiful yet of course so expensive. But Dazai didn't use Kunikida's card, he pulled out another. It was his own, he then got his finger sized and your finger sized. If it wasn't obvious to you now, it was clearly obvious when he slides the matching ring on his finger and the other on yours.

Dazai placed a gently kiss on your soft (h/c) hair, running his fingers through it right after. He loved you dearly and it showed, he used his saved and limited money to buy you and him something personal. It had yalls initials ingraved on them on the outside, and in the inside was the date y'all started dating. It was simple yet so loving. "I really love you, babe" he spoke smooth and slowly, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

Chuuya🍷

One day on Chuuya's day off, he decided to drag you to the mall to get you more clothing (he just wanted to spoil you and that's exactly what he did.) Yall were in the mall from 11am to 4pm, trying on clothes, finding accessories, getting you anything you wanted at this point. He loved you dearly and he just wanted to spoil you today.

His hand was clasping yours tightly as he brought you to clothing stores, candy shops, anywhere throughout the big mall, carrying you when your legs hurt. He was such a good boyfriend and it showed SO much, it was so nice to see his love he has towards you. And at the end of the day you both were pretty tired it was around 4:30pm, y'all stayed at the mall for 5 hours, which is obviously too long of time to be in a mall, yall's hands full of bags, small, big, medium, all different sizes of bags from different places and stores.

At the end of the day y'all were walking to the car, loading everything inside when Chuuya came up hugging you from behind. His head nuzzling into the back of your neck. "I have a surprise for you" Chuuya mumbles against your skin. He then let's go and quickly goes around the car.

When Chuuya came back, he had a big bouquet of (fav flowers) and a couple bags of (fav candy) along with a small-ish box it could either hold a ring or a necklace. Chuuya gently held out the items waiting for you to take them. Once you did, you slowly open the box. It was a small necklace. There was a heart shaped pendant hanging on the necklace with a picture of you and Chuuya. Chuuya slowly brought you into a love full hug, holding you close, swaying the both if you back and forth. Placing a soft kiss apon your head. "Happy one year, sweetheart.." He said calmly, holding you close to his chest as you hug back.

Fyodor📖

You walk into a designer store (what ever one) browsing the multiple things on shelves, hangers, folded up on racks. They all looked so expensive but your boyfriend, Fyodor, told you he wanted to spoil you tonight even if everything was expensive. He had his arm drapped around your waist as y'all walked through and past multiple designer clothes and accessories. You felt bad if you got anything but he DID say get what you want. So you grabbed a shirt or three and a few accessories, which was around 5k..

This went on for about two or three hours stopped by ANY designer shop Fyodor thought was nice. Y'all had about three different bags from designer places and theyre probably was total of 20k spent tonight. You felt bad that Fyodor was spending so much money on you for no reason but you didn't want to ruin anything. Once y'all had decided y'all were done shopping, y'all had went to go eat. It was a resovation at a fancy restaurant. Fyodor planned this night like it meant everything to him.

Y'all had finished the food and when y'all walked out the restaurant, you heard Fyodor call your name. He seemed a decent feet back from you but y'all were in the cross walk so you said give you a minute and he shouldn't stop in the middle on the crosss walk. And once y'all arrived at the car, Fyodor called out your name once more he was much closer now but he seemed well, lower?

When you turned around, you saw your boyfriend's purple eyes looking up at you from where he kneels on one knee on the ground. A beautiful ring in a small red velvet colored box, open and pointed towards you. The ring itself looked even more expensive than the clothes y'all had bought today. The top was covered and small diamonds, how much did Fyodor exactly spend? But that wasn't the point right now, Fyodor spoke up, his thick Russian accent present. "Darling, will you marry me? Please? I want you to be with me my entire life, I love you so much, Mota lyubov"

A/N: I'M REALLY SORRY IF I DIDN'T LIKE.. PUT THE CHARACTERS YOU WANTED OR IT DIDN'T TURN OUT WELL PLEASE TELL ME IF I DID GOOD I'M A PEOPLE PLEASURE AND I FEEL LIKE STRESSED IT IK IT DID WRONG SO, PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU LIKE THIS OR LIKE, YOU WANTED A DIFF CHARACTER IF YOU DO FEEL FREE TO REQUEST AGAIN!

[starquestingfordrarry]

My Shit, Master List

(it's all drarry)

Fics

Over 10k

Simulation Theory | E | 35k

An offer to test out a new invention for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes turns into a whole lot more when Harry discovers who has the other part of the paired set.

With Love in Her Luminous Eyes | T | 30k includes art by myself and ItsPhantasmagoria

The Demiguise lived in Grimmauld Place, and she lived all alone.

Half Sick of Shadows | E | 39.7k

Harry and Draco have been sleeping together for months, and it's fine. It's enough for Harry. But when things finally start to feel like the more Harry's been hoping for, a strange tapestry project has him worrying he won't ever get the chance. Or: the one with sheep, dragons, and a whole lot of weaving metaphors.

Of easy wind and downy flake | E | 14k | gift for ItsPhantasmagoria

It’s snowing in July, and it’s Malfoy’s fault. Or, the one where the house wants the boys to kiss.

Strange Entanglements (the particles of us) | E | 15.3k | gift for wilfriede

Harry and Draco are colleagues, buried in their own sub-sections of the Department of Mysteries. When Draco's career-making experiment goes terribly wrong, they end up far closer than either could have imagined.

People Are Boring | E | 14.3k | Dronarry

“Alright, what’s your terrible news?” Draco braces himself on Harry’s desk. “Weasley’s hot.” “You’ll have to be more specific, there are a lot of hot Weasleys.” Draco makes a strangled, groaning sound in his throat. “The Weasley. Weasel. Weasel-by. Your Weasley.” Harry’s heart jumps to his throat, and his stomach drops to his shoes. “Ron’s back?”

Under 10k

Measure My Lordship With Thine Vulgar Aye | M | 1k

Draco buys some Muggle magnets for the office.

Round Robin: Mud, Bath & Beyond (chapter 5) | E | 7.2k

Draco and Harry are up to something on a Muggle Studies field trip (to a field).

Draco L Malfoy (the L stands for legs) | E | 1.8km | gift for NoxNoir

Harry could spend the rest of his life in the embrace of Draco Malfoy’s legs. If he was lucky, he would.

We Don't Have Thanksgiving, Potter, But You're Still Getting Stuffed | E | 1.6k

Harry stuffs the turkey, Draco stuffs Harry

His Favorite Word | T | 0.2k | gift for minty_petals

Harry has a new favorite word

Eyes All Aglow | G | 3.4k

Sequel to With Love in Her Luminous Eyes. Lenore's first Christmas.

Lover, Tempt My Vow | G | 1.2k

Draco has something to ask. Sequel to Measure My Lordships With Thine Vulgar Aye

Your Hot Hands | E | 7.5k

Draco always wanted to know where Harry Potter disappeared to. This is not what he expected.

'Neath Arbor Eaves | E | 3k

Harry and Draco are stranded in the Forbidden Forest. What horrors lurk in the shadows?

both lips on the mirror | E | 4.1k

Harry doesn't mean to watch Malfoy masturbate

Art

Drawtober 2023 | E | Digital

Drawings done in October following the prompts from boshspice's boshhptober2023 (most of them are combined because I have poor time management skills)

I couldn't convince myself to turn you away | T | Digital | gift for arminaa

inspired by Within You Without You

to the sundered earth | G | Digital | gift for apricitydays

inspired by Once More to Arcady

Muggle Studies, Lesson 1: Recreation | G | Digital | gift for Inheartofwinter

Harry takes Draco to a muggle amusement park

Phallus impudicus | E | Digital | gift for DodgerKedavra

On a foraging trip through a fall forest, Harry finds a bountiful harvest

Branta canadensis | G | Digital | for FellyTone

Harry protects Draco from a killer goose

Drawtober 2024 | E | Digital

Drawings done in October 2024 following boshspice's prompts

Drarry Sketchbook 2024 | E | Digital

collection of various drarry drawings, ranging from sweet to naughty

[irisbleufic]

I can’t get enough of your Devil’s Minion series Caldera! It’s a rare combination of stunning writing and compelling plot. Will you be continuing it past the most recently finished story in it?

Good morning, anon. I will be continuing it, yes! “Gold and Tempera on Panel,” which is now finished, will not be the last story, as I’ve obviously set up some dominoes in it that will trigger a longer-term plot arc. While people get caught up for a day or so (I updated very fast when it came to completing the first 6 pieces in the series, something like a cumulative 50k words in 10 days, which is a new level of sleep deprivation even for me), I’m outlining the next couple of pieces in the series, which will be shorter ones in the range of 3k-ish. Every time there’s a longer story (like there have been a couple so far), I’ll shoot for the 20k-30k range. I tend to space those longer stories out by writing shorter pieces in between them.

[ravendark118]

The complete recaps of Alex Kister drama/controversies for those who constantly ask whether he is innocent or not and whether Mandela Catalogue Fetish content is or not.

(These texts you are reading come from the Fandoms Wikitubia page where there is a controversial stage by Alex Kister site. I didn't write it just so you know everything. I just copied the text and created it on a document for those who always wonder whether Alex is innocent or not. The ones that have underscore are the documents links that Ven and Alex's documents have published. I hope it helps and I hope the argument slowly stops.)

On March 12th, 2024, Twitter/X user Stirringjuice (aka Ven, an ex partner of Alex) uploaded a document against Alex Kister titled "Warning About Alex Kister". The document alleged predatory and manipulative behavior, along with accusing him of suicide baiting and abusing power dynamics with his fans. The document exposed messages of Alex's interactions with Ven, his activity in various Discord servers, and his interactions with a user who goes by the alias "DB" (another ex partner of Alex). The document heavily criticized Alex's sexual texting with Ven and DB, Alex discussing his gender with those in the servers (that included minors ranging from ages 14-17), and various interpersonal issues between Alex and his partners. Along with the initial document, various others posted statements accusing Alex of similar transgressions.

As a result of the initial document (which had gained 7 million views and 30k likes) and the other testimonies, the vast majority of the analog horror community across various platforms condemned Alex. Most of the cast and crew of the Mandela Catalogue quit and denounced Alex (with some leaking information about the show, including details about Vol. 5), various content creators spoke out against Alex, and Retro Release Video terminated their VHS release of The Mandela Catalogue whilst giving out refunds to those who ordered it. Alex, along with some of his defenders, were doxed as a result.

On March 24th, 2024, Alex Kister would post a response to the allegations on Twitter titled "My Perspective" (as well as a small response to The Mandela Catalogue being reported as "Fetish Content"). He retweeted a thread from one of his defenders alongside his statement. In the document, Alex denies the claims of being a predator and manipulator, as well of clarifying that he isn't a groomer/pedophile (accusations that were being spread around as a result of the allegations). In the document, Alex's main argument against the allegations is that his texts with Ven and DB, who are older than him, were consensual, reciprocated, and encouraged whilst also providing and respecting exits for his partners whenever they were uncomfortable. He also states that he never abused his power with fans as he never leveraged said power against them. He proved malicious intent from Ven, exposed lies and unsubstantiated claims, called out omitted context while providing additional context to the texts Ven showed, and called out hypocrisy, mismanagement, and defamation from Ven (such as accusing Alex of grooming on Tumblr despite initially saying he didn't groom anyone and later retracting that statement on Twitter). Alex also pointed out that he had no illegal or sexual activities with minors, calling Ven out for never proving said activities nor any malicious intent. In the document, despite arguing that he was not suicide baiting, as he has a history of self harm and suicidal ideation as well as the fact that his livelihood and relationships were being threatened, Alex apologizes for burdening DB and Mitcha (one of the accusers) with his suicidal ideation. He concludes by promising to not make friends with fans of his whilst also promising that The Mandela Catalogue would continue and that the story leaks were fake. He also discouraged people from harassing anyone.

The response (which has over 1 million views and 5k likes) had gained mostly positive support from those who were watching the situation unfold. Shortly after Alex posted his statement, Ven pledged to respond to the document, criticized Alex for not addressing the other accusations, thanked Alex for confirming what transpired was real, and criticized Alex for not understanding power dynamics. Ven was vastly criticized for this tweet. Some content creators issued apologies for not waiting for Alex to respond and immediately assuming he was guilty. Despite this, Alex was still criticized by some for not addressing all of the accusers and for not giving enough weight to the power dynamics between him and his fans. Alex made a follow up tweet condemning people for spreading rumors about and harassing other people. Some users had continued to dox Alex, resulting in Ven making a thread condemning the action and doxers. Alex disabled comments on his YouTube channel and deleted his Instagram posts after the doxing continued.

On April 8th, 2024, Ven issued a statement in which they said their intent was to no longer prolong the drama. They apologized for poorly wording and formatting the document, transphobic rhetoric in their document, including irrelevant and personal details about Alex, betraying him, influencing others, and turning his friends against him. They promised to delete their Twitter and did so the next day.

Many people came out in support of Alex whilst heavily criticizing Ven for false allegations. The cast and crew who had posted public statements against Alex have since deleted them, with some apologizing to Alex for their reactions. After Ven deleted their document, Alex deleted nearly all of his tweets (with the exception of his statement and a meme about The Mandela Catalogue).

[bridenore]

HD fic recs : Curses (part 2)

Here are a few recs dealing heavily with curses. This is part two of three and focuses on fics ranging from 30k to 50k words. Listed in alphabetical order, as always. Part one can be found here.

Aeternus Solem by @onbeinganangel  [36k]

On December 1st, Harry Potter gets sent halfway across the world to attempt to break a possibly fatal curse on an unnamed British Unspeakable — except said Unspeakable is not unnamed at all and Harry has been in love with him for over four years.

The Arc of the Pendulum by brummell [30k]

After his father casts a mysterious curse on Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy is forced to try to make things right.

Catfished by Saras_Girl [32k]

Draco is in deep water, Harry can see straight through him, and that’s not even the full scale of the problem.

Darkest Before the Dawn by @dualwieldteacup [47k]

The last thing Draco wanted was to show up at Harry Potter’s door, cursed blind and holding a boxful of his friends Transfigured into snakes, but here he was. Between breaking the curse, adjusting to life without sight, and teaching his Defence Against the Dark Arts classes, Draco’s got his hands full. Being forced to live with Harry Potter might just be the death of him. This is a story about the bonds of friendship, fairy tale endings, and learning to ask for help (even from Gryffindors).

Draco Malfoy, It’s Your Lucky Day by @faith2wood [37k]

Even though he’s unarmed, injured, lost in the Forbidden Forest, and facing a possible murder charge, Draco Malfoy gets lucky.

En Passant by @dodgerkedavra [41k]

Harry and Draco survive the apocalypse. This is what happens after.

Fearless by Bounding-Heart (Brief_and_Dreamy) [34k]

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” – John Lennon

Hades Paradox by @romaine2424 [32k]

For reasons unknown to most, Draco Malfoy came to Hogwarts soon after the battle and for five years had never left its premises. Auror Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts to deal with his psychological daemons, but soon realises Professor Draco Malfoy has his own magical and physical daemons to deal with. However, much to Harry’s surprise, Draco is coping well with help from the person Harry aspires to be.

In Our Blood by @secretsalex [37k]

Draco is an accomplished pure-blood curse breaker, and Harry is tasked with accompanying him on his latest job—cleaning up the Van Boer mansion, which has been under a devastating fertility curse for seven generations.

Lover, Where Do You Live? by @dodgerkedavra [38k]

Harry Potter has been running away since the War, disappearing into his job as a freelance curse-breaker. Work is his life. Home doesn’t exist. He’s about to disappear again when he runs into Death Eater-turned-Healer Draco Malfoy. It’s supposed to be a one-night-stand. They’re not supposed to pine for each other. Harry’s not supposed to sleep with Draco a second time. Or a third. Or a fourth. But when a nasty curse sends Harry back into Draco’s arms, he might be forced to admit that home’s been waiting for him all along… Or: Harry wants to go home. Draco wants to be a home. It’s hard to say it out loud.

Orion in the Sky by space_wingding [30k]

Draco Malfoy owns a bookshop in the Lake District. He’s also cursed. Enter: Harry Potter.

Potential Gravity by @lol-zeitgeistic [32k]

Draco is not good at Cards Against Humanity, but Harry’s not good at being human, so it all works out. Except for the explosions. And Harry’s inability to live when Draco’s not around.

Renaissance by @dysonrules [33k]

Harry awakens after a long sleep to find things terribly changed. He’s not in an alternate universe… it just seems like it.

The Rules of War by calrissian18 [40k]

“After having his tentative advance rebuffed, Harry has been Imperius-ing Draco into having a relationship with him. He’s needed to make the curse stronger and stronger, the more he wants – desire, sex, love, marriage, baby. However, when Draco falls pregnant, the power of the curse starts diminishing, no matter what Harry tries. What happens when the curse finally fails?”

Somebody to Love by khasael [31k]

Draco’s life after the war is quite different than it used to be. When he finds himself cursed, with little hope for lifting the spell, he sets out to make the most of the time he has left. Getting to know his Aunt Andromeda and his young cousin Teddy feels like a good thing to do, even if it can’t help him in the long run…or can it?

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!