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punkscowardschampions · 2 years

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Joe & Ronnie Pt.2

Ronnie: [I’m gonna say you just appear on this tube like a dramatic vision because you can and you would do that]

Joe: [when you’re not entirely sure you can trust yourself ‘cos the kind of mind you do have so you’re really double taking and LOOKING like hello???]

Ronnie: [fully launching an object you have on you at him like could a hallucination do this and probably hitting so many random people with whatever it is, I dread to think]

Joe: [laughing and as per completely ignoring everyone around us because that has always been our MO, uninterested and unphased by how we’re affecting other people, so moving through this crowd like a pinball to go stand by her, putting your hand on the pole/rail moment and leaving a bloody handprint like yeah, I’m real too]

Ronnie: [the state of her at all times and the reaction normal people would have absolutely SENDS me to think about, but likewise does not care how drama because it’s very much the point to cause as much as possible at any given second, literally getting out the self harm she did earlier to show him that loveheart in person regardless of where on her body she has to flash to do it and how gross it is]

Joe: [the way we’re so uncasually into it and everyone on this train is gonna be edging as far away from y’all as possible because we’re digging in the wound and making sure it all opens back up as much as we can just using our hands, again, regardless of where this is and not asking for permission to do so]

Ronnie: [as blatantly and uncasually into it because as much as she hangs out with junkies and mentally ill people pretty much exclusively at this point in her life, they’re obvs not on her feral af level and if they are not at the near constant that she’s up there so it’s like okay damn he’s just like me]

Joe: [mhmm, people still have limits and standards, just because they have issues, most people don’t want to be fully unhinged, actually, if not basically all people lmao; the way I am thinking of that damn show Trixie and Katya watched rn because of this, like get your whole damn hand out of her, boy]

Ronnie: [it’s TOO real of a comparison, we see y’all basically fucking via a hand in an open wound and nobody needs to see that or have to witness her thankfully quiet because of the general volume of a packed tube but nevertheless INTENSE reactions]

Joe: [the unholy way we are going in on this because we’re watching your reactions so closely we literally aren’t even looking what we’re doing, just going by your face and the way you flinch and sound]

Ronnie: [thank god y’all are as feral as each other because there would be no way to style out how shamelessly turned on by every second of this she is if he was like actually nah and she had to try and go back on it, soz to everyone in the vicinity]

Joe: [I’m just pretending/praying it’s so body to body that no one is entirely able to see the whole show but people are going to have blood on them and think someone got shanked when they see; as unrepentantly putting our hand in your pants and mirroring what we’re doing because we know you’re turned on right now]

Ronnie: [there’s no stopping either of them the poor peeps on this tube are gonna have to just repress the scene]

Joe: [gonna need therapy, not to mention anyone could film this to report you or publicly shame you, you do you lads, also like to point out, has not said a word to her, is aggressively fucking her up literally]

Ronnie: [iconic, who else could ever, likewise has not said a word to this man is just allowing this all to happen and reacting to it via the most dramatic breathing known to man and surprisingly quiet yet equally dramatic sounds]

Joe: [kissing her somehow feeling like the biggest violation because of how we’re making it so tender in comparison for that exact reason]

Ronnie: [for me it’s the way she has literally not touched him until she’s kissing him back and even then their mouths only are in contrast to the way he could not be touching her more]

Joe: [‘I love you’ because of course you are, what else would you say, twisting your balled up fists]

Ronnie: [almost biting off his entire face because can’t and won’t say it back rn but DYING and she is a biter we know this and she did do it earlier to her flop bf so must]

Joe: [making your own INTENSE noise because forever about getting hurt too ‘I missed you’ and basically punching on each syllable]

Ronnie: [almost scalping this boy this time and almost knocking him and potentially other peeps out with the force at which his head is gonna collide with whatever is the nearest surface with the force of all this going on because CANNOT deal]

Joe: [the way we’re looking at you so dazed from that but still have to smirk at you ‘how longs it been again, baby?’ using our knee in your groin to double you over but keeping you upright on said knee]

Ronnie: [let’s all take a sec to remind ourselves again that this isn’t an empty train in the dead of night while y’all are acting like this, please and thanks, actually lucky his ear isn’t bitten off chewed and swallowed with the level of dramatic she’s being with it to also make the MOST unholy sound into it, if you told me some of his earlobe was missing I’d say well you got off lightly there hun]

Joe: [people must think y’all are too dangerous to apprehend, basically; and you’re not wrong because we have to use that same knee to be on your windpipe like you CANNOT sound like that]

Ronnie: [just out here suffocating to death and loving it, they are too dangerous to approach, stay back everyone]

Joe: [letting you up before you go fully unconscious but using the fact you’re that semi-unconscious floppy state to pull you against us so we can stealth fuck you from behind]

Ronnie: [would be allowing it even fully conscious so there are no notes]

Joe: [at least now we can put both hands in this wound]

Ronnie: [the way I was HORRIFIED at the cross contamination then like I actually gasped]

Joe: [my boo says a step too far lmao]

Ronnie: [it’s really not but apparently that’s the hill I wanted to die on there, no foof juice in the wounds]

Joe: [I love you little loaf, all of this is nasty nasty and he’s so here for it]

Ronnie: [she is too it’s just me here like oh no no, yet again not touching him now, we do dramatic and explosive gestures appaz and then we are like -]

Joe: [always trying to make you react so at first we’re in your ear and then saying it loud enough to be heard ‘you’re gonna cum on your brother’s cock’]

Ronnie: [Boo imagine literally ANY of the people, I am deceased and y’all don’t have enough shame, get some help ‘still not gonna fix it’ like we’re genuinely so sad for you about this and the peeps need to know]

Joe: [people like the what now, going from worse to worse here for yous; ‘I’ll cum for you’ like it ain’t an impossibility, again being conversely soft, kissing whatever skin we can from this position]

Ronnie: [‘you do fucking love me’ like okay yeah true maybe you will whilst doing literally nothing in comparison to this boy to make that happen haha]

Joe: [gonna say that this is your stop now so we’re yanking you off this tube whether you’ve realized that or not like gotta go, bye everyone]

Ronnie: [everyone breathing such a massive collective sigh of relief lol at least until she takes the opportunity to headbutt him and the blood from his nose sprays the poor peeps trying to get on or off at the same time as you two, it goes without saying she also kisses him then so aggressively and they both have all his blood on their faces and in their mouths, cos what a normal way to express how you feel about everything that has just occurred]

Joe: [literally being such a biohazard in these streets, like watch out everyone, you are not safe and they are unhinged, just getting y’all out of this station because there’s tube trains like every damn second and you aren’t dying rn so away from those tracks, you do have a party to freeload off of, just smearing each other up these disgusting walls as we go, obviously]

Ronnie: [what a lovely sight for the random people of london to have to once again behold, I like to think she’s writing her bfs number with the blood on some wall since she’s bored of him and has Joseph to be unhinged with now, you’re welcome for that sir]

Joe: [writing something akin to ‘for the plug’ with it because that won’t make that man fuming having people like you got drugs when he do, we all know how paranoid dealer types get lol just love to be antagonising as hell]

Ronnie: [so amused by it shamelessly, giving him the closest thing to heart eyes as she’ll do rn]

Joe: [you’re like the same person now it’s ridiculous, a 😏 but more sincere than that one reads]

Ronnie: [ringing this man and passing the phone over immediately like okay antagonise him and do your worse, from her own damn phone so he’s expecting her and gets Joseph because that bitch]

Joe: [doing your best to sound official at first like you’re a fed who’s got some info before resuming what you were doing to get her to make noise like sound familiar]

Ronnie: [when that’s too amusing because no it wouldn’t sound familiar at all, just cackling and doing a little intro like it’s me btw don’t wait up hun]

Joe: [just putting a drugs order in whilst you’re still on the line like may as well put yourself to use sir]

Ronnie: [likewise adding to it as if y’all are just at a kitchen table cosy and writing the list for the weekly shop]

Joe: [this man is definitely going to want to beat us to shit when he meets us and thus we have achieved what we were after there]

Ronnie: [Joe defs has to meet him at some point if only for the fact she’s made this man sound like he’s a little old wet hen when he’d actually be such a terrifying psychopath]

Joe: [I lol, also at the fact you’re making no attempt at conversation of any real kind, just vibing]

Ronnie: [sorry to this man at how soon she’ll even be bored of annoying you and be like bye, Joseph give ALL your FULL attention back to me please and thank you]

Joe: [pocketing your phone girl like you don’t need that now ‘welcome’ as if you’ve been looking for ways to dump this man and you got it]

Ronnie: [out here lighting his pocket on fire like you aren’t on the street surrounded by peeps as always as if you needed to prove how little you care or how feral you handle your own shit when both are this blatant]

Joe: [again, as close to heart eyes as can be said are occurring, the state of what you’re both wearing at this point]

Ronnie: [mhmm, putting this fire out by pressing against him would be fine in theory but when are you ever wearing enough clothes for that gal, nevertheless doing it though and risking actually burning to death]

Joe: [‘you do care’ half the pisstake, half like yeah, I knew it, pressing back harder]

Ronnie: [definitely getting burnt and blistered on her leg or somewhere cos of the lack of clothes there and moving back slightly to show him like yep I care about achieving that ‘gotta make an entrance’ knowing this party needs livening up before you even get there cos nothing could ever be unhinged enough for y’all]

Joe: [don’t know how else to describe this but literally ripping off the skin that would be attempting to blister on you currently as if that fixes the issue/that’s what we’re trying to do, and not, in fact, making it even worse ‘you do’ as the statement it is because we have seen you make an entrance now when you got on the tube]

Ronnie: [TOO into it, we all been knew, mutually eating said skin is gonna happen, again like you’re not in a public place, stop it]

Joe: [DRAMATICALLY trying to get that out of your mouth and into ours before you swallow it, by any means necessary, like oi, because likewise, so blatantly obsessed]

Ronnie: [a playfight that’s not at all playing, step back everyone, they are going in]

Joe: [really are just brawling, again, regardless of the fact that she’s a girl and sometimes people feel the need to try to step in when, if anyone did we’d just be like look how much she loves it, tell ‘em]

Ronnie: [makes me laugh because in no world does she need anyone’s help and if they are gonna offer they’ll get the shit beat out of them as well, not even strong or good at fighting simply just the dirtiest tactics always, same gal same]

Joe: [again, don’t bother general public, you will not be thanked, also he’s not just beating up a helpless woman, very different energy lol so]

Ronnie: [going all out here to try and win for the big sister vibes and because she do wanna impress him haha not that she’d ever admit it]

Joe: [we all see it girl but god bless, you can have it, saying you land in/make some broken glass, to continue injuring ourselves hardcore]

Ronnie: [1000% keeping a really good piece of that as a memento and also just because glass do be one of her fave things to injure herself with so will reuse it on many occasions truly]

Joe: [when she’s picked this up, grabbing her hand to pull ourselves up so that glass casually goes into both your hands so deep]

Ronnie: [‘romantic’ like we’re taking the piss but it actually lowkey is by y’all’s twisted definition of]

Joe: [dislodge yourself from the glass/this handshake of it all like ugh, yeah ‘cliches are crowd pleasers’]

Ronnie: [looks around to judge the crowd’s reactions and is pleased by how horrified anyone who has witnessed anything y’all have done is ‘have to go home otherwise’ like if we haven’t gone big enough]

Joe: [lighting yourself a cigarette like job well done and this is earned ‘heard you say you ain’t got one’ looking at her like same here, hand her your lighter but not anything to smoke]

Ronnie: [‘heard us say I’m stopping at yours’ because she has and did before y’all met and won’t be taking it back now you have, doing a smiley on her arm with said lighter how everyone used to back in the day like hey remember this throwback]

Joe: [‘Soph’s’ ‘cos don’t get it twisted, we’re both just crashing but we’re smiling at this smiley and gesturing vaguely towards ourselves like yeah, ‘course I do because would be covered in fading scars of them ‘cos we love burns]

Ronnie: [uncover and touch one of his that’s v faded and old to give the memory lane I wish I knew you then vibes which would be the first vaguely soft touch we have given to this boy]

Joe: [just recount the first time you ever did one, as gently searching out the most faded scars on her as we do]

Ronnie: [stealing his cigarette as if this was only a ploy to do exactly that and she’s not listening INTENTLY to the story]

Joe: [not fighting you on it remotely, even if we are watching you smoke indecently, the first time you ever did it was probably as a proper little child with your siblings so there’s that, not that awakening something in you]

Ronnie: [making a face and sticking her tongue out at him for the childish vibes because we feel you LOOKING at us, sir, but she’s got her tongue split like a gross savage so there’s that]

Joe: [asking her when she got it done ‘cos we obviously felt that before now ‘cos I’m sure it feels different as is half the point]

Ronnie: [overshare on all the deets of that story cos he will love to hear it, they literally just whip a razor blade out as far as I understand the common practice and so knowing you I’m sure you did it super sketchy instead of legit]

Joe: [at least it’s an excuse you don’t need to makeout with her without letting her finish this cigarette]

Ronnie: [not it becoming illegal in the UK in 2018 appaz, I was just googling and my bad they use a scalpel or they literally burn your tongue in half with a cauterization tool and it’s so dangerous and painful everything’s I just read is like DON’T lol]

Joe: [your tongue is more vital than you think, like if you can’t swallow you choke and die lads, I’m not surprised it’s now illegal but you got in there girl, pop off, sure people do it regardless but nah, no tah]

Ronnie: [could NEVER be me but she would and has, I would hope you were at least of age when you did this missy but honestly there’s no telling with you, so sad y’all are on the street still and she can’t show off her weird skills at oral cos we all know that’s why peeps are doing it as well as to look scary]

Joe: [at least the beauty of London and the tube is you should always land near enough to your destination so this isn’t gonna be a long walk ‘til you’re at this randoms]

Ronnie: [just graphically tell him everything you can and will do when you get there, casually for anyone to overhear, as well as any stories you have in that vein concerning the many other dudes you’ve blown in your time]

Joe: [thank god you care about no one at this party in a way no one else could, basically hate y’all but here anyway, so we can ignore anyone trying to talk to us and find a dark, secluded corner of this place like go on then]

Ronnie: [IMMEDIATELY doing the absolute most with utter disregard for anyone or anything, that goes without saying, actually makes me sad you can’t cum Joseph because giving it her absolute all]

Joe: [at least you can get erections, that’s when it’s really frustrating, so you can still be enjoying this, it’s an accidental flex the universe has given you ‘cos casually can go as long as the girl wants but we’re usually getting bored, obviously]

Ronnie: [won’t be stopping until her jaw locks unless someone at this party really feels the need to hardcore intervene which I doubt, in casual agony by the end which we know she is here for so everybody wins]

Joe: [the vibe is obviously ooh hush we’re all being bad here, so honestly, least chance of being interrupted you’ve had, some of these classier celebs might think y’all are too rough but others are going to be here for it; just lifting her up by her shoulders and moving her jaw about which might look considerate but you are just messing with it ‘you look fucking stupid’ said like you’ve just given her the best compliment ever]

Ronnie: [hit him SO hard in his own jaw that it’ll probably knock him out but doing it like you’ve just been really loving and kissed him really gently and soft like awh thanks babe]

Joe: [be on the floor, making no attempt to move when you come ‘round, loling and pulling her down so she’s on your level]

Ronnie: [kissing him in spite of and because both your jaws hurt, duh]

Joe: [grabbing the nearest bottle you literally roll into so you can pour some down y’alls throats]

Ronnie: [pouring some of said random alcohol on the open wound he violated earlier whilst making the most indecent eye contact ever]

Joe: [moving your mouth to catch the excess and meet the eye contact too]

Ronnie: [finding the glass she kept from earlier and using it to carve her childhood postcode into the upper left hand corner of his chest where the return address goes on an envelope because that’s an ILY and she really does rn]

Joe: [‘where the fuck have you been’ like you should have been with me my whole life, never mind just finding you sooner]

Ronnie: [pressing into it because that’s where she was and she’s really mad about it because so close and yet so far at the same time and that actually is sad]

Joe: [‘I ain’t having her touch you’ ‘cos casually but not at all seething at your mother, like you always are but moreso now than ever and we can’t even pretend we want to give you a tattoo associated with her now, licking up this blood like it’s salt off your skin]

Ronnie: [licking his blood off this piece of glass except for some that we clearly wanna keep on it for the sentimental mems ‘what’ll be then, like?’ cos what are you gonna do if not that sir]

Joe: [take this glass and ponder by lowkey giving her very superficial cuts all over whilst you think, then do your birthday like this should have been the first day we met, doing it on her stomach]

Ronnie: [using her phone torch to see this better and then taking pics and videos from all angles because looking down at it simply is not good enough, soz that they’ll all be getting posted to snapchat or whatever people were using in this era I don’t remember, makes me die because his bday is new year’s so everyone like ??]

Joe: [snapchat is honestly the likeliest shout for this era and lowkey still now if you’re being this vibe so pop off, when this is too cute and we have to distract ourselves from all this FEELING by doing 3 and a half tally marks on one of our wrists because how old she would have been when he was born]

Ronnie: [Charlie and whoever else are welcome that she’s gonna be distracted from this grim photoshoot by then seeing him do that and realising why so sucking and kissing his wrist in the most extra manner because love that]

Joe: [‘you’re so far in my fucking brain’ ‘cos we aren’t used to this level of comprehension, obviously, no one else is operating on this level and I’m soz but Ray wasn’t either so this is literally making us malfunction]

Ronnie: [it’s the tea, love you Ray but no lie detected, sticking her tongue in his ear as if she can touch his brain with it and telling him a memory from when she was 3 and a half or as close to it as she can remember, which is probably a self harm story like banging her head against the floor or biting herself because ofc]

Joe: [tell her a memory of your own from the same age of you being blatantly not right and Thomas being well on the way like 4 is a sensible number of under 4s to have in this home]

Ronnie: [casual bit of bonding cos god knows where you were living at that age but none of them have lasted for you for obvious reasons or been it so you can go into those deets and you already being a lil punk by the time he was 3 or 4, shaving your own head and putting a safety pin through your cheek nbd]

Joe: [just asking you what living in a home was like, living with random foster fams, all the bits you didn’t experience along with the clear similarities of being in the same place at the same time]

Ronnie: [but her actually telling him honestly though not just the horror stories she tells other peeps for shock factor, but genuinely, excuse me while we all take a sec to register how important and unlike her that is]

Joe: [when we actually wanna know and aren’t just asking for the trauma dump of it all]

Ronnie: [collecting another bottle from the vicinity and downing it even if it’s someone’s cigarette butts and piss because not checking before downing it and gotta down it because any time she feels a feeling of any kind she then has to kill it]

Joe: [going off to find the person with the hookup at this party for the same reason]

Ronnie: [when there’s a part of her that doesn’t wanna do hard drugs rn because actually wanna be here with him and capable of talking and interacting and that shakes her to her core in a way that nothing else has or ever would because when does that ever happen, just losing it in his absence, don’t mind her everyone]

Joe: [‘scuse us everyone, this is too intense for them even though they don’t wanna admit that of course]

Ronnie: [god knows where he’s gonna find her in this house and what she’ll be doing to herself or someone else because CAN’T cope]

Joe: [regardless we’re throwing drugs at you like we weren’t just having a real conversation or moment because that’s who we are]

Ronnie: [doing them regardless of what they are or she was in the middle of because likewise who she is]

Joe: [who can say honestly, not holding us to anything, maybe ketamine, people seem to enjoy doing that, esp. in this period]

Ronnie: [yeah I’m sure it’s something trendy while still being what the peeps at this party consider hardcore because tis clearly the vibe of what they are all doing here, it’d be a good one for us rn cos it doesn’t take long to kick in but also doesn’t last long once it has if y’all do wanna get back to being deep and meaningful, plus everyone at this party would be snorting it cos the most common way but if y’all wanted to be more feral you could inject it into a muscle for that bigger hit]

Joe: [I’m sure you have a rig on you Ronaldo so you can pop off]

Ronnie: [do it for him so we all know you love him]

Joe: [gonna help with the emotions you’re feeling lads, mhmm]

Ronnie: [pretend all you like that you just wanted to jab him really hard with a needle but we see you gal, I wonder which muscle in your body would hurt the most cos obvs picking that while he can still feel pain before the drug kicks in haha]

Joe: [y’all are skinny little rats anyway so that never helps with said pain]

Ronnie: [at least it’ll hit quicker doing it like that because must be so !! rn with y’all waiting for this drug to hit when you’re this overwhelmed by each other]

Joe: [least you can front that you ain’t, purposely intro’ing you to everyone as his sister like they didn’t witness y’all over each other like a rash, like is any of y’all gonna say anything or what]

Ronnie: [I’d hope someone would even though I’m sure most peeps would think you’re joking to be edgy and I don’t hope for whoever the person’s sake because they will absolutely annihilate you verbally for their own amusement and physically if you don’t take the hint and go away lol, but thanks for the excuse she does need to be all over him more during these intros because in love]

Joe: [people deffo would think it’s a joke, for their own sanity as much as that being half your gig, like this isn’t performance art people but pop off]

Ronnie: [nevertheless dropping ILY cos we can pretend it's for their benefit if we need to and not just cos she needs to say it or she’ll kill herself]

Joe: [we know it is not for their benefit and we’re gonna let you know by doing the most in a very unsibling manner]

Ronnie: [immediately gaslighting and girlbossing by being like ‘you’re tripping, baby’ in a awh bless you lightweight kind of pisstakey tone like I absolutely did not say that]

Joe: [‘that’s the point’ like correct and also what about it]

Ronnie: [push him away but in the kind of way when you’re not pushing him away at all and just lol]

Joe: [getting in her face like you’re just that annoying younger brother]

Ronnie: [kissing him obvs ‘this is a hallucination’ because a side effect of, but doing the most so you know it’s really not ‘you’ve pure fucking lost touch with reality, like’]

Joe: [‘never had my number’ like me and reality have never been close honey]

Ronnie: [‘if you’re gonna cheat on us, cheat smarter’ like good]

Joe: [‘I will’]

Ronnie: [‘the fuck you will, McKenna’ like excuse you no]

Joe: [😏 no notes]

Ronnie: [trying to rip that expression from his face haha, ketamine chills out who, not this gal, lucky for him she probably can’t cos hard to move properly]

Joe: [we’ve all seen ravers, whatever y’all think you’re doing, you’re mostly eating your own face rn ‘you’re the only one I love’]

Ronnie: [‘you’re only talking in cliches’ because that sounds like such a line]

Joe: [shrugs ‘why we’re here’ like wouldn’t be getting these free drugs if they didn’t think I was the next big thing]

Ronnie: [‘that we don’t include me’ like no bullshit thank you]

Joe: [‘good thing it’s still true’ ‘cos just ‘cos it sounds nice don’t make it an automatic lie ‘who else here’ full shade at you all]

Ronnie: [name dropping that actress from earlier for the pisstake like I know you love her work]

Joe: [looking around like you’re in any state to go find her but for her sake she must be out of this room like oh damn it]

Ronnie: [shamelessly and what would be v painfully if he was in any state to feel it forcing his head back to looking at her and keeping it there like no you can only look at me]

Joe: [again, not at all casually inspecting your heart-shaped wound right now like remember that or what]

Ronnie: [getting the most in his grill possible so he can hear her reaction over how loud this party is because however numb you are atm you do remember when you weren’t and you still like it]

Joe: [‘who else’ meant in all the ways that could be taken when it comes to y’all]

Ronnie: [‘how’s it feel to be more special than k?’ because really hate ketamine rn for even remotely numbing us]

Joe: [‘I wanna feel everything’ we’re here because you both can’t but it still feels true when we say it]

Ronnie: [‘what’s your tolerance?’ like they can both just break out of these effects rn immediately because they want to]

Joe: [‘fuck around and find out’ ‘cos she texted it earlier]

Ronnie: [😏 ‘come ‘ed, soft lad, show us’ like come on I’m waiting]

Joe: [just gonna do our best to finger fuck you ‘til you feel it here]

Ronnie: [the EYE CONTACT just being insanely intense this entire time]

Joe: [‘feel it’ so aggressively, again, as if there’s any choice in the matter]

Ronnie: [calling him every homophobic slur under the sun rn cos gay men be using this drug so they can hardcore fist each other and the like and of course she knows that and the jokes about Joe and Charlie will run and run]

Joe: [‘you wish’ like you wish I was him right now, continuing to be so forceful about this all]

Ronnie: [‘you wish’ like you actually are using us to get to Charlie here lol ‘I’ve been there and fucked that’ dismissively because so many times and so over it now actually, soz Charlie]

Joe: [‘If I want to, I will’ we definitely mean if we want the money/drugs/whatever else we can take from him but no need to clarify]

Ronnie: [‘you ain’t masc enough for him to want you’ because he likes those super straight lads we all know]

Joe: [‘he’d like me if I needed him to’ because you’ve had that convo about being shameless users]

Ronnie: [a smile because true ‘never had a proud big sister moment before’ soz Bronson we’re calling you a flop but tis also true from her POV]

Joe: [‘people are easy but boring’ STARING at her like are you though]

Ronnie: [STARING back of course like oh honey I’m not even a person anymore don’t worry]

Joe: [literally poking you in the eye because it’s so childish but also ow]

Ronnie: [‘fuck you’ but said like she’s saying ILY again because she do, literally tonguing his eyeball and trying to suck it out of his head in response]

Joe: [‘so beg us for it’ like she was asking right there and we aren’t already making moves without her doing it again]

Ronnie: [‘you’d have to be dreaming’ cos however much of a dreamlike state we feel like we’re in, thanks drugs, not that bitch]

Joe: [‘I don’t care what you say’ like bitch, I know regardless]

Ronnie: [‘take more than dirty talk, yeah’ knowing you can’t and won’t cum regardless unlike some of your previous girlfriends who I’m sure thought they could make him if they just tried]

Joe: [‘what’s it matter’ like I can still fuck you]

Ronnie: [‘it don’t, cumming inside us would only be worth it if you could also put a bastard in there we could bring home to mammy dearest in Dublin’ like I’ve let you down too, boy, so sorry]

Joe: [‘harder to off with a coat hanger once they’re out anyway’ like what the hell would we do with it after the fuck you mum of it all lol]

Ronnie: [‘her doorstep, her fucking problem’ like we’re just gonna abandon the kid there]

Joe: [shake your head ‘loves an orphan that ain’t her own’ and spill that beeline tea]

Ronnie: [‘send a letter the first time some old cunt tried to touch us up and be back in her open arms’ with a ugh like now you tell me cos dodgy men would have tried and only did not succeed because she was so feral]

Joe: [‘fuck them, I should’ve made them admit they couldn’t cope and been in the system instead’]

Ronnie: [‘everyone’s favourite’ meaning mcvickers is which why they didn’t send you but also that the pervs would’ve loved you if you were in the system]

Joe: [‘none of them could’ve hacked it, except her’ meaning Bea and for a reason why we didn’t snitch on our parents like that]

Ronnie: [a shrug because nobody thrives in care unless they get adopted really early into a lovely fam which is clearly nobody she’s ever interacted with]

Joe: [‘I had to keep ‘em alive, 6 out of 7 is alright odds’ with his own shrug, rolling up a joint]

Ronnie: [stealing it like he’s doing SUCH a shit job that we have to take over and do to avoid looking at him ‘I’d have killed you’ it would sound like bants of cos you’re an annoying little brother except that it’s really not and she truly means it because feral]

Joe: [‘one of ‘em will, eventually’ like don’t worry, it’ll still happen]

Ronnie: [‘the fuck they will’ not at all casual like NO they will not because have claimed Joseph now and am the only one allowed to]

Joe: [amused like oh yeah]

Ronnie: [a LOOK like you heard me hun]

Joe: [dramatic sigh like I suppose it don’t matter to me ‘alright’ but we are LOOKING back despite protests]

Ronnie: [‘you found us’ very much saying as far as we’re concerned you’re the only brother we have or will ever recognise as being via the mcvickers fam, that lowkey hitting her again that it only happened earlier today as she says it]

Joe: [‘yeah, kind of fucked it was that easy’ ‘cos it is, not at all hidden or living a completely new life from where you came from ‘but not gonna complain’]

Ronnie: [that just really confirming for you that Tommy and Ali being younger is no excuse and they could’ve so you’re like yep fuck all of y’all for not caring, lost in those thoughts]

Joe: [‘not old enough to say she can’t work a computer’ ‘cos there’s no way you’ve not looked her up Tess, even if you’ve clearly vowed to not get involved ever]

Ronnie: [the way she’s clearly had that thought running through her head since whenever Joseph sent that first message not to mention constantly since the first time she looked Tess up herself at whatever age that was]

Joe: [it’s only when the names get changed or you’re purposefully blocked from the info it’s any type of hard in this day and age]

Ronnie: [just stealing some coke from the rich kids because it’s one of the most dangerous things to be mixing with this ket appaz and clearly readily available like okay shut up brain and shut up Joseph]

Joe: [have at it girl]

Ronnie: [I won’t let you die even though people have and easily do from the combo, you’re the Keith Richards, can’t and won’t]

Joe: [we’re just being antisocial now and writing in our phone notes like an absolute cliche]

Ronnie: [she’s probably beating someone up who did literally nothing to deserve this except be in the wrong place because it makes you violent mixing those two drugs is one of the things I’ve read and she already do be so]

Joe: [literally keeping out of it even though people be like didn’t you bring her sir, he’s like yes and, I’m very busy]

Ronnie: [you’re welcome for the inspo Joseph, come back and steal his phone however much longer later to snoop as if that outburst didn’t happen, I’m sure they tried to chuck you out but honestly who could lol, it’d take a lot of you]

Joe: [just ruined the vibe but as per are unaware and do not care regardless, letting you read whatever unhinged rambles that we have produced]

Ronnie: [‘touch us, catch HIV, party’s over’ he didn’t ask but nevertheless telling him what she told them as she edits whatever he’s written about her]

Joe: [‘no cunt dies of nothing no more’ so casually annoyed and re-adding whatever she deletes of our shit]

Ronnie: [a playfight that is slightly more playful than the first they had because hardcore in love with you and whatever he wrote despite the fact she deleted it, showing him the old and extremely fucked do not resuscitate tat she has on her chest like an UTTER cliche cos v much feels like she’s about to die from a heart attack right here and now ty to this drug mix so 🤞 being the energy]

Joe: [getting you up to dance/basically spin you around so you feel like your heart is going even faster like alright then, let’s do it properly if you mean it]

Ronnie: [probably throw up a little bit from how hard you’re getting spinned because nausea is a big ket side effect, really doesn’t sound fun, and ruining the vibe is forever the mood soz not soz to the other party goers in this house because making no attempt to not or get outside with it, you don’t really eat a lot so it’s not gonna be that dramatic anyway, just gross]

Joe: [just chucking you in your own vom pile here, again excuse us people, just appalling you at all times, taking pics like there you go, update your profile]

Ronnie: [goes without saying that she’s dragging him into it too and taking pics of y’all that are getting posted to the snap, soz again Charlie]

Joe: [Charlie like who is this boy lol]

Ronnie: [bound to have so many messages she hasn’t replied to because Joe had her phone for ages and lbr even if he didn’t we’re busy rn]

Joe: [clearly gonna reply to these messages and just be vague and worrying about it to be a dick]

Ronnie: [letting him do this so amused and with the biggest 😍 ‘I’ve never felt like this’ blurting out what is the biggest cliche of all time]

Joe: [‘bollocks’ tapping out how fast her heart is going like you’ve nearly died loads of times but we’re moving closer to you than we have been and lingering here when we’re done]

Ronnie: [‘full of it would be sound if that was it’ like yeah if I was just chatting bollocks that’d be great actually because shooketh by feeling the way we do]

Joe: [‘don’t be a pussy’ putting our arm ‘round you]

Ronnie: [‘don’t call us a pussy, you cunt’ but moving closer instead of further away]

Joe: [‘call you what I like’ like now you’re mine]

Ronnie: [tapping her foot like chop chop I’m waiting to hear what you’ve got up your sleeve here]

Joe: [call her every ridiculously offensive thing you can think of on the fly peppering in really cutesy pet names with it like they’re as egregious]

Ronnie: [‘put it to music and you’ll afford [wherever the posh house in Liverpool’s street was because haven’t forgotten about any of us wanting to live there] as a one hit wonder’]

Joe: [‘set for life’ like what else could we possibly need]

Ronnie: [lying with her head in his lap and looking up at him, STARING to be more accurate, making me lol because she isn’t this sort of gal]

Joe: [doing a lol ‘I get it, you want my dick to work’ like she’s absolutely devvo’d]

Ronnie: [‘don’t you wanna cum into your new sister?’ like are you not devastated too sir, I think so]

Joe: [just a noise in response, brain failed]

Ronnie: [‘I know how to medicate you’ because she thinks she does with her expertise and honestly she’s not wrong]

Joe: [wiping some coke away from her nose like you’re doubting that but also at this point you’d be coming on and off your actual meds all the time because chaotic so it’s not like we’re all that attached to trying to do the right thing for our mental health, obviously lol]

Ronnie: [doing his too but because of all the dried blood from when she headbutted him earlier so it’s like oi I’ll do it again if you are doubting me, but telling him exactly what you’d put him on for each symptom you know he has based on knowing him today and all the other addicts and mentally ill peeps you’ve known and how mixing those things would feel and everything like the lowkey drug encyclopaedia you are]

Joe: [‘sort it out then’ as if she can just produce those drugs here and now, but we were listening and engaged ‘cos find it interesting too]

Ronnie: [‘you could give us tonight, fuck all to lose taking my advice, you have, but I’ll be taking dick from a baby virgin’ because just shading you for the fact you’re gonna cum so fast when you can again]

Joe: [‘like that ain’t what you want from a baby brother’ 😏]

Ronnie: [the most indecent noise of all time in his ear because can’t not at that but playing it off like she’s doing it because he’ll never hear the like of it again when his dick is fixed]

Joe: [properly grinning instead and pulling her on top of him ‘one night then’]

Ronnie: [being 1000000% feral like it is only this one night they have left, SO loud in the way y’all weren’t being on the tube because the party atmosphere allows it, to the point she’d sound like she was being porno fake because RIP to this everlasting boner but actually we’re just that into it]

Joe: [got to do the most whilst you’re physically incapable of stopping unless you literally exhaust yourself]

Ronnie: [could not be touching him more everywhere in the way she did not let herself on the tube, we love to see it]

Joe: [actually shook by both of these developments in the best way]

Ronnie: [casually a different person because she’s so obsessed with him rn]

Joe: [gotta do what you gotta do, these are unprecedented events lmao]

Ronnie: [thank god I’m not letting you have a heart attack gal cos imagine, meets her and kills her during a hookup on day 1]

Joe: [it’s your vibe but also can’t actually happen so stay alive somehow girl, got many more near misses to have]

Ronnie: [staying alive by sheer force of will if nothing else because she isn’t actually ever a bitch that wants to die, everything she does is for pleasure, ultimately, because I’m soz drugs feel good that’s why peeps do them, and especially not when y’all have just found each other]

Joe: [we don’t really either we just likewise don’t know how to live and be happy in a way that doesn’t involve a lot of destruction, people who purely wanna die just do it, they don’t string it out like this]

Ronnie: [it’s the key difference between joeray and y’all because Ray did wanna die when she did even if there’s a high chance if she hadn’t that she could’ve ended up wanting to live, Ronnie doesn’t have that sadness in her, lord knows there’s a lot else going on but that kind of hollow depression isn’t it]

Joe: [mhmm, we know the energy and y’all could deffo as easily die on accident but it isn’t that]

Ronnie: [y’all clearly both already have almost died many times and will again but yeah, hence I’m saying that tat is an old one you did as an angsty and if I do then I do teen because you’re not a I wanna die bitch]

Joe: [it’s very much part of an aesthetic statement rather than a literally kms we know lol]

Ronnie: [hence I’m having her blurt out ‘don’t let me die’ during this hookup because she do feel like she’s going to but don’t wanna lol]

Joe: [actually doing what you can in your own state to help her instead of constantly egging it on, slowing down for one and getting outside for the cold air to bring her temp down]

Ronnie: [picturing her fully and dramatically lying on a wall in front of this house, no notes, just looking like art]

Joe: [going to raid this house’s legit medicine cabinet for some aspirin she can chuck down]

Ronnie: [please do take it even if you do have to crush it up and snort it or something to make it look like you’re pissing about with it cos feel like a tit a little bit because meant to be the badass and impressing him with said badassery at all times]

Joe: [you’d look more like a tit if your heart gave out girl but it’s cute and we’re about it, following suit and sprinkling some crushed up aspirin in this joint as if that’s going to be nice remotely, passing her half a bottle someone has left out here like that’ll calm you down too]

Ronnie: [when you gotta spit some of this random alcohol into his mouth via kissing him even though that won’t calm you down because love him for taking care of us in a way that isn’t patronising or put upon, full offense Charlie, shading you there even though you’re so valid and a real one, I don’t know why I imagine it’s red wine, probs because that’s such a gross and posh drink, but that then making you laugh at everybody here, still kissing him]

Joe: [quoting some pretentious writer or poet about wine at you when we’ve swallowed to be that dickhead like yeah, I fit in SO well here]

Ronnie: [‘I feel a proper meff’ which could be relating to not knowing that quote or fitting in but we actually mean we feel stupid because we got ourselves into this state over Tess not caring to seek us out]

Joe: [‘for having feelings?’ screwing up our face like why, you’re not in the wrong, because we don’t need to have known you for longer than a day to know that’s where your head is still]

Ronnie: [‘yeah, like’ because how ridiculous to feel things]

Joe: [‘you said you didn’t wanna be numb’]

Ronnie: [‘from the waist down’ but we’re clearly joking here now cos you love feeling pain everywhere and that’s evident if nothing else]

Joe: [shaking our head, but amused ‘is that smack?’ like is that what does that in your case]

Ronnie: [‘not everything feels like something else’ because her love for heroin is indescribable as is how good it makes her feel]

Joe: [nodding like good point well made]

Ronnie: [‘there’s a reason scousers used to say gear instead of boss or sound, you know’ because apparently that’s true of scouse slang if you’re like 40 and I’m amused]

Joe: [I’ve deffo heard it at least a few times so you deffo would’ve boy ‘not got ‘round to doing anything long enough to call it a habit’]

Ronnie: [‘smack’s my real boyfriend’ full shade to that man ‘fully committed’]

Joe: [‘I believe it’ like lol you’re that sort of girl but not a lie tbh ‘guess I’ll share if you do’]

Ronnie: [‘you’ve got dead fit veins, first thing I noticed’ fit in the scouse way meaning nice obvs not in the manc Jimothy way of hot]

Joe: [can literally be flexing them like lol yeah? ‘Specialist kind of compliment, that’]

Ronnie: [getting up from lying on this wall like a deathbed to look at them better cos ofc ‘can find ‘em even in this light’ cos it’s dark obviously ‘would knock us fucking sick if I didn’t get to collapse each, one after the other’]

Joe: [‘make us blush’ because legitimately]

Ronnie: [‘make you bleed’ because legitimately]

Joe: [🤞 ‘I didn’t know if you’d come’]

Ronnie: [a look like yeah you did know I would]

Joe: [‘it might’ve taken five minutes though’ like not the second I messaged you lol]

Ronnie: [throw the bottle at his head because he’s calling you easy there gal, which you are, but rude]

Joe: [just laughing at you]

Ronnie: [leaving him out there like okay fine if you want me to play hard to get then bye, everyone will be so thrilled she has re-entered this gaff]

Joe: [not gonna follow you because we aren’t that boy, just out here]

Ronnie: [when you don’t give a single fuck about appearing cray because you are so you just immediately come back but at least you can have brought another bottle or whatever so it wasn’t a wasted trip back inside lol]

Joe: [faux duck like she’s throwing that one too]

Ronnie: [pour it into his mouth from a dramatic height so it looks like you’re gonna pour it over his head]

Joe: [doing any gross tricks you can like a circus seal]

Ronnie: [throw him some change like he’s busking]

Joe: [pocket that like alright then ‘now we can go get scran’ getting up from wherever you are on the cold hard ground]

Ronnie: [‘eating’s cheating’ in her best posh girl impression]

Joe: [a look like can you not ‘too soon, that’]

Ronnie: [😏 ‘don’t be a pussy’ and dragging him along like let’s go girls]

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chincilla-on-the-moon · 3 years

Text

My Whole World- Connor Murphy X Reader

Request: I am in desperate need of a fic where Connor finds that the reader struggles with self harm and where he helps them though such thoughts and just ends with some fluffy cuddles. Anything is better than what’s going on rn - Anon

Word Count: 1009

Warnings: Implied Self harm (cutting), Self-loathing, Self-hatred, Feeling like a burden

Authors Note: Hello! I know I’m literally the worst ever but honestly existing this past year has been really hard which makes doing the things I enjoy, like writing, really hard to do. BUT I do finally think I’m reaching a better place, (I know I say this like every authors note but I really think I am this time). Also saw the DEH movie last night and ended up sobbing over Connor I love him so much :((. Lastly and most importantly: if you ever feel like self harming there are alternatives! If you need resources about this feel free to message me or send me an ask! I’m more than happy to help <3 Thats it. As all ways thank you for reading and have a lovely day/night! :) <3

You were having an awful day, an awful week even. It seemed everything that could go wrong did. It just seemed the world was against you and you were tired of it. You were approaching your breaking point and fast. You could see this but you didn’t know what to do about it. You could reach out to your boyfriend Connor. But no he was doing so well recently and you didn’t want to burden him or bring him down with your negative thoughts. So you decided to do what you always did which was just distract yourself from your emotions because if you didn’t think about them they weren’t there. You put your earbuds in and put on one of the playlists Connor had made for you, once you got home and went up to your room without saying a word to anyone and plopped face down into your bed. For a couple minutes you were able to ignore all the thoughts racing through your mind but eventually the music stopped working and you were left alone with your thoughts.

You’re pathetic and a burden to everyone. Why would anyone want to deal with you, especially Connor? You’re probably the most annoying person on the planet right? With your constant pestering and need for reassurance every two seconds it’s truly a wonder that you haven’t been abandoned by everyone in your life.

You were angry at yourself. How could you possibly let yourself be this awful of a person? You wanted to do something horrible to yourself as a punishment, to force yourself to feel the pain you bring to everyone in your life.

The next time you had a coherent thought was at least a half hour later. You felt a stinging sensation coming from your wrists and started crying as you fully processed what you had done. Without realizing it you texted Connor asking him to come over. You just sat waiting staring at nothing until Connor knocked on the door to your room. You were broken out of your trance and weakly said “It’s open” so he knew he could come in.

Once Connor opened the door he knew something was up. The energy in the room just felt wrong. Then he saw your hunched figure on the bed and could tell something was up just by how you were sitting and approached the bed slowly so as to not startle you. Once he came into your field of vision you broke down even more feeling so pathetic in this moment. “Oh sweetheart,” he says softly. He sat down in front of you and took one of your arma in his hand and inspected the damage gently. He did the same with the other and once he was done he opened his arms and you crashed into his chest, violently crying at this point. He held you tight and pressed soft kisses into your head. He just let you cry it out rubbing soft circles into your back but while he was he couldn’t help but think how could the light of his life ever feel so bad that you felt you had to do this to yourself?

Once your cries had calmed down to soft sniffles every once in a while he said “Let’s get you cleaned up then we can cuddle. Sound good?” You nodded tiredly. “Okay let’s go to the bathroom,” he said, grabbing your hands to pull you up and guide you to the bathroom. Once you got there you sat on the counter and Connor got to work. He carefully applied antibiotic ointment and bandages to the affected areas and when he was done pressed gentle kisses to all of the bandages. After that he cleaned up his ‘workspace’ and led you back to your bedroom. The two got ready and had settled into your bed when he broke the comfortable silence that had settled between you two. “You know we have to talk about this right?” You nodded timidly. “Why?” he said simply. You explained how terrible this week had been for you and how it all got to be too much. The whole time Connor listened with his undivided attention on you, holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. At some point while you were explaining you had started crying, He sat up causing you to sit up as well. He grabbed your face, wiped your tears and stared deeply into your eyes. It felt like he was staring into your soul but you didn’t look away. After what feels like an eternity he finally spoke up and said “I don’t know how you could think all those awful things about yourself. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. Your kind, smart, compassionate, not to mention most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’re not a burden to those around you, especially not me ever. Next time you feel like this, I want you to talk to me okay? I’m here to help you. I know you would do the same for me in a heartbeat so let me help you. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you, you’re my whole world.” You were crying again but for the first time today they were happy tears.

“Thank you for always reminding me how loved I am. I love you so much Con,” you said smiling through the tears.

“I love you more Y/N/N,” he said, smiling sweetly at you. He gave you a tender kiss on the forehead and then said “You’ve had a long day we should get some sleep.”

“Yeah you’re right,” you said through a yawn. The two of you got cozy again, your head on Connor’s chest, his hands running through your hair. The sound of his heartbeat, the one he swore beat for only you, lulled you to sleep. The last thing you heard before you felt before you fell fully unconscious was a kiss being pressed to the top of your head.

#connor murphy #connor murphy fanfiction #Connor Murphy x Reader #connor murphy fanfic #connor murphy x you #dear evan hansen masterlist #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #dear evan hansen fanfic #dear evan hansen x you #deh #deh movie #deh musical #x reader #Character x Reader #gender neutral reader

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kakakakashi · 4 years

Note

Darling!! I just really want to say thank you for ALL your UCHIHA hcs!! They’re absolutely delicious!! Anyway I know your super busy but if you have time may I prettyyyyy pls maketh a small request for kinktober?? A pregnant sex hc with all our fav uchihas? I just can’t get enough of your Uchiha breeding kink TM 😂 I love your work! Stay Cherrylicious! ❤️🍒

You are cherrylicious, fam! 🍒 Lol, thanks. My hcs aren’t delicious, though. The Uchiha are… At least Shisui is. The further I get in with the story, the more I’ll be able to add. Personally, I’m not doing kinktober just because I’ve got too much on my plate rn, but lbr, I never need an excuse to be nasty. I’m just gonna be gross 365 days a year. My kinkiness isn’t limited to a month. You can’t get enough? Lol, neither can they. Motherfuckin Uchiha. Anyway…

*NSFW under the cut*

Itachi

This man gets so soft for you when he sees you doing domestic shit when you’re pregnant, and he just remembers how much he adores you.

You’re doing something as simple as drying the dishes while he washes, and as soon as the two of you are done, he just kisses you so sweetly and passionately.

You can’t deny him kisses when he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky.

Do you start it? Does he start it? Nobody knows.

You’re already being carried to the bedroom, so he can make slow, sweet love to you.

He literally worships you, paying extra attention to your bump because he can’t believe that you’ve got his kid in there.

He plays with your breasts a lot too, and it feels so good.

Will insist that you lay back and let him take care of you.

Believe me, you will not lift a finger. This dork is not having it. Like, you’re already doing so much for him, he just wants to make you feel so good.

He’ll eat you out until you’ve come at least twice just from his tongue and fingers before he even thinks about putting his dick in you.

And he takes it slow, like I said. He just wants to pamper you.

He makes sure you’re in the most comfortable position possible while he’s languidly thrusting in and out of you.

It’s all very soothing and relaxing.

When you come the third time, it rolls over you in slow, undulating waves, and he works you through it with fluid motions that have your body feeling like you’re floating.

After you come down, he’s on the verge of following you, your walls spasming and contracting around him and encouraging his hips to stutter while he moans, and his eyes roll back.

You’re both fuckin spent, and your entire body’s tingly.

Itachi just gently kissed everywhere across your skin while you stay connected for a bit, just cherishing each other.

Ugh, it’s so soft and good. It’s like your underwater.

Madara

He’s not necessarily actively interested in pregnant sex in my opinion.

Like, you’re already pregnant. His job is done. He’s gonna go fight Hashirama until you have the kid.

Then, he’ll fuck another one into you.

So, if you want it, you’re gonna have to seduce him.

Given, it’s not that hard. Just get him jealous or just sit on his lap while he’s reading and start grinding on him.

He’ll eventually put down whatever he was reading.

He’ll also definitely make you get off on his thigh before he fucks you.

He’ll also make you take off all your clothes while he’s still completely clothed.

He likes the look of your bump while you pleasure yourself on his thigh.

He’s just going to watch you while you take what you need because you’re so desperate for him.

Like, you’ve already got his baby inside you, and it’s still not enough for you?

Then he’s gonna make you ride him right there on the couch.

He’ll make you beg for it first, though.

Your legs will be exhausted, but it’ll totally be worth it.

He’s going to allow you to control the pace for once just because he doesn’t want to hurt the baby.

He basically just sits and makes you do all the work for once.

And once he’s done, he’ll carry you to your bed and clean you up because you’re carrying an Uchiha, and you deserve to be taken care of for that, no matter how rough around the edges he is.

Obito

Pregnancy hormones are a bitch sometimes.

And let me tell you, you are so fucking horny, and he’s not even close to complaining.

There’s this one comedian who did a show about having a kid… and I just can’t get it out of my head rn because I feel like there’s this one part… that’s just… the epitome of being pregnant with Obito’s kid, but anyway.

“It’s like having sex with Space Mountain!”

If you know what this is from, let’s be friends.

So literally, anytime you’re feeling horny, just go for it.

It’s so good for him, like… he didn’t have a pregnancy kink until you got pregnant because the sex is just that fucking good.

Just, all the magical contractions and positions and shit.

And every time, you’re blowing his mind, and he’s blowing yours.

It’s very sloppy and hot, but he still tries his best to be gentle with you.

He loves experimenting with positions, and he definitely wants to incorporate some of them into your sex life after the pregnancy

He will literally do anything you ask. You make the rules in the bedroom when you’re pregnant. The only thing he won’t do is something that could potentially harm you or the baby.

He loves how your tits get bigger, and he loves to play with them when you guys fuck.

Lots of nipple play. Oops.

He always kisses your belly after when he gets all soft and cuddly. He’ll also talk to the baby while you’re lying down together.

Sasuke

He can’t wait for you to give birth, so he can put another one in you. Like, he’s counting down the days until your due date because he wants to restore his clan have a big family, okay?

Nobody dies here.

But like… sometimes, he just sees you, and his brain goes to his dick.

The man has no self-control in all honesty. Like… *gestures to the entirety of Naruto*

Anyway, he’s like “the love of my life carrying my child must not be touched by anyone,” but then his dick gets hard, and he’s like “... except me... to please them.”

So, he’s gonna give you that slow broody sex that he’s too into because the boy is Dramatique™ .

And I mean, are you really complaining when he’s fucking you nice and slow, letting you really feel everything in your overly sensitive state?

The answer is no.

He’s another one that will do his best to make you comfortable before he starts, but he does it quietly.

And as he gets closer, his pace picks up until it’s more moderate than slow.

And he’s gonna tell you that he can’t wait for you to have your baby so he can knock you up again.

Especially because it’s so good.

And you cum pulling his hair and crying his name.

He’s just living for it all, and the breeding kink comes out, and he’s just kind of a mess.

Sasuke is another one that will be like “You’re already pregnant with my child, and you’re still begging me to cum in you?”

He will, though.

And he’ll take whatever pours out on his fingers to push it back inside you.

Shisui

Nasty motherfucker gets turned on when you wear tighter clothes, and he sees your bump bulging underneath.

He’s like “Yeah, I did that. I put that baby in there.”

Omg, god forbid you wear something that makes the bump peek out.

He also kind of wants to make you feel really good because he knows your body is going through a lot making a whole other person.

He’ll insist you sit on his face even more than usual.

With all the contractions and sensitivity, the man’s gonna fuck you every chance he gets.

He also thinks your pregnancy glow is really sexy.

Like, if you’re even the slightest bit horny, he’s got you on your back on the nearest surface.

He just really wants to please you all the time because you’re carrying his baby. Like… he just thinks the sun shines out your ass.

On days where you’re both off, he always tries to convince you to just stay home all day.

He just wants to snuggle and talk and make love all day because he wants you to be pampered in your state.

Some days you let him, and you just take your time with each other.

He’ll make you sit on his face, and when you try to return the favor, he just stops you because “don’t worry about it. We have all day, love.”

And the whole day is just bathed in this ethereal golden glow while he draws countless moans and sighs out of you.

He’s also gonna kiss everywhere on your body, especially your bump.

He knows that body insecurities can come with pregnancy, but he wants to quiet those fears before they even have the chance to develop.

It’s literally all about you. It’s so fucking sweet, and this dork is just wonderful.

OMG, but your kid 100% has his lil dimples. K thx byee.

#naruto imagines #itachi x reader #madara x reader #obito x reader #sasuke x reader #shisui x reader #cherry has ideas sometimes #hi. i’m cherry queen of the sin bin.#Anonymous #100 #200 #cherry posts about ninja nerds #300 #400 #500

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izloveshorses · 4 years

Text

bro are we about to kiss rn?

college au, 1.6k. maybe this will grow into a full fic? remains to be seen what my silly little brain will come up with next lol

“Do you want me to grab you a drink?” Dmitry asked over the roar of the speakers.

“If you let me follow you,” Anya answered. No way was she going to be left standing alone in the middle of a crowded frat house without a defense against a bunch of drunk football players.

He laughed and tugged her wrist behind him. She swallowed, unable to focus on anything but the warmth spreading from the contact all the way to her heart.

This party was a bad idea, she decided. Marfa was friends with a few of the guys in this fraternity, but even though Anya did enjoy the occasional tailgate or basketball game or even her sister’s sorority event, frat house parties were a little too much. Dmitry hated them, too, so neither of them ever accepted Marfa’s invitation until now. He suggested it as a joke, and Anya didn’t see any harm in at least checking it out. But only minutes after arriving, she was already overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol and the crowd of unfamiliar bodies, already wanting to escape. Wanting it to just be her and Dmitry.

And maybe she was a little bit in love with him, but that was irrelevant.

Ugh. they should’ve snuck into the greenhouse on the top floor of the biology building again. The hum of the fans and generators were better sounds than whatever music was playing now.

She’d known him since Freshman year, when he sat behind her in an econ lecture everyone was forced to take, and she’d hated him immediately. To her dismay she found out he was friends with Maria and even her new friend, Marfa, and later discovered he was a barista at the cafe she did her homework. They even lived in the same dorm— there was no escaping his self-absorbed smile and apathetic demeanor.

But the next year, when she got a job at the library and had to work the closing shifts, he’d unintentionally offered to walk her back home, and something shifted. It was small at first. He was always skateboarding back from the computer lab at that hour after working late on one of his projects and would just so happen to pass the library at the exact time she’d need to cross campus. And then she needed her laptop fixed at one point, and of course he was working in the tech support department, and he made a joke about someone finally asking for something other than connecting their Macbook to the wifi, and… well. She realized underneath all that cockiness and brooding angst, they weren’t so different, even if they did come from completely different backgrounds. She stopped insulting him when they were hanging out with Marfa and he stopped teasing her about being too studious for something not worth her time. She learned why he was so bitter and admired how hard he worked to keep his scholarships and earn money to pay for his tuition, and he made her laugh. Through him she saw a side of the world she’d been ignorant of before, and through her he saw a light he’d been blind to. Slowly, with each shared laugh, each hour spent studying together, each midnight drive to Taco Bell, he sort of grew into her best friend.

And then, for some reason, this year it changed again. Butterflies would stumble into flight in her stomach when she’d make him laugh or he’d casually snag her hand, and there was that one time he tried to teach her how to skateboard and his hands were on her waist to keep her steady and— well. You get the idea. She pieced the clues together and she wasn’t stupid enough to not know what they meant.

Somehow this boy who acted like he hated the world but would share random facts about the constellations in wonder, who said formal education was a waste of time but aced every project, who pretended like he was invisible in class but secretly knew every answer the professors threw at him, who could drive her insane but knew how to read her mind, had slowly crept into her heart, like he’d always belonged there. She’d realized that now. What she didn’t know, however, was what to do about them. So she did nothing. Because she didn’t know what she would do if she lost him.

And here she was, standing against the wall at the edge of a party, unable to hide from the truth she was denying, to avoid the way her heart skipped a beat in her chest every time he even stood next to her.

“So, what now?” Dmitry asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

She feigned a smile. “I don’t know the protocol here.”

“Well, we already said hello to Marfa, the person who invited us.”

“Check.”

“We have our drinks,” he waved his solo cup as punctuation.

“Yes.”

“You’re sporting a crew neck with the school logo, making you fit right into the preppy cliche.”

“It’s comfortable and it’s festive!”

He rolled his eyes but smiled behind his cup. Of course he’d teased her about that. Tonight he was wearing a flannel over a white t-shirt, the spitting image of the I’m-rebellious-but-I’m-still-vain-enough-to-care-about-my-appearance look. “But what’s next?”

She frowned. “Now, this is the part where we go dance, but the music is… bad.”

“That’s fair.”

“Or, alternatively, I think this could be the part where we mingle, but I don’t know anyone here.”

“That hasn’t stopped you before.”

She looked up at him then. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen you at football games and stuff, you’re good at making friends.” He shrugged. “Or just… finding something to talk about and including everyone. I used to envy you for that, you know.”

She snorted. “You’re good at talking to people too.”

“Yeah, but not like… you know. I’m good at being charming, but you genuinely like people.” She didn’t know how to respond so she didn’t, making him shake his head. “Just accept the compliment already, Romanov.”

She grinned. “I guess I can’t think of a reason anyone else here is worth my time.”

He tilted his cup back. After a quiet moment passed he spoke again. “Can I ask you something?” She glanced up, waiting for whatever question he had for her. “Why waste your time with me, then?”

Her brow furrowed. “I don’t think you’re a waste of time.”

“Yeah, but you could get along with literally anyone else here, and you choose to stand against this wall with me to complain instead.”

Her throat tightened. Couldn’t he see it? Wasn’t it written all over her face? She’d sit in a walmart parking lot with him if he asked. The words that would ruin their friendship bubbled up and she was the world’s worst liar and there was no hiding from those dark eyes of his and the silence was growing and—

“This is the part where I get some air,” she stuttered, stumbling outside before he could respond or see what she was thinking.

She found a quiet spot on the wooden deck in the backyard, the breeze sending a chill down her back. She set her drink down and fiddled with the cuffs of her sleeves that stretched long past her fingertips. This party was definitely a terrible idea— now her head was cloudy and she almost slipped up her words and there were too many people around. Maybe sneaking into the greenhouse again would’ve also been a terrible idea, because who knew what she would’ve done if she’d been alone with him, but at least no one would be watching her fall apart like she was now.

“Anya, are you okay?”

Oh no.

Dmitry’s footsteps fell behind her and she couldn’t bear to turn around yet. “I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.”

“No, you didn’t!” she turned then, hoping her resolve wouldn’t crumble and that he would let her be. “I’m fine.”

He saw right through her. Taking her hand, he said, “We can go, if you want.”

“No, I’m fine.”

He nodded, and her eyes fell to the hand enveloping hers, keeping her warm. “I’ll leave you alone, then. If you’re okay.”

But the thought of his hand pulling away made her panic. “Don’t go.”

She didn’t have to look up to know he was confused. But he stepped closer again, back to his original spot, and then another step. And another. His other hand found her freezing one and her shoulders relaxed.

Still staring at his hands, she mumbled, “You’re never a waste of time. Not to me.”

When she risked a glance up at him the column of his throat bobbed. His eyes searched hers and she was too tired to look away and hide, and when he found whatever it was he was looking for he smiled, a quiet one that only creased his dimples a little bit. And then to her shock he asked, “Is this the part where we kiss?”

Her heart tripped over itself like it was falling down the stairs. She blinked rapidly, her brain not prepared for this tonight. “You tell me.”

His grin spread, and she almost laughed at herself for thinking she once hated it. But then he leaned in and all thoughts that had nothing to do with the way his lips tasted or the way his hand felt under her sweatshirt on her back or how soft his hair was between her fingers or how sturdy his chest was under her palm were no longer important. No, nothing mattered now in this moment, except the inexplicable happiness spreading from her chest down to every tip of her limbs, so much that she couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped her lips into his smiling mouth, because she was kissing Dmitry and she was a little bit in love with him and he was kissing her back.

She made a mental note to thank Marfa later for the invitation to the party.

#anastasia broadway #anastasia musical #dimya #fanfiction #my writing #i am once again coming to u with a fully-written fic from a vision i had in the middle of the day

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masc-reader-insertss · 4 years

Text

Comfort- kyle spencer

i'm rewatching coven rn and i've been thinking about writing this for so loooong. reader is a warlock staying at the academy, and he and kyle have been dating for over a year when kyle dies. after his boyfriends death he completely shuts down, until he finds out that he has been resurrected by zoe and madison. reader runs to kyle's house to see him, only to find him covered in blood, terrified and confused.

TW!! mentions of death, sexual abuse, dysphoria, suicidal thoughts and self harm

——

y/n had seen a lot of death in his life. at only five, he's been the sole survivor of the brutal murders in his home. the event had traumatised him, and left affected him how whole life. after his parents murder, he had been taken in by his grandmother, and she became the one he was closest too. she taught him everything he knew about witchcraft, he'd been raised on tradition, just like his grandmother had, and when his powers began to show when he'd turned sixteen she had been there to guide him. he was a psychic, only able to see the past at first. as soon as he made contact with someone, he could see into their past. not long after his powers first manifested, he was overwhelmed with death again. his grandmother had fallen gravely ill, a brain tumour was the diagnosis. she's only lasted another week, and y/n was destroyed. on the day of his grandmother's funeral, already so emotionally drained from loosing his only other parental figure, he'd been told that his powers were becoming too strong to go without proper guidance anymore, and since his grandmother had passed, he'd be forced to attend an academy. he was supposed to be sent off to one of the most prestigious warlock academies in the country, but it was clear he would never be able to afford such a place, his grandmother hadn't had much money at all, and it was not anywhere near enough to pay for such a school like that. luckily for him, his grandmother was a very well known, and prized ex student of the robichaux academy, and though there had never been an exception like this before, due to his grandmother status, and the most unfortunate circumstances, cordelia had been willing to help him.

y/n had always been quiet after all he'd been through. he kept to himself most of the time. he'd only been at the party where he'd met kyle because he'd forced himself to try to and finally make friends. he'd already wanted leave only ten minuets into the party, it was all too loud for him, and the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. y/n was sat down on the stairs outside, holding an untouched drink in his hands and staring down at it. "you're new around here, right?" y/n was startled at the sudden voice next to him, and he looked over to the source. a boy his age, with curly blonde hair and the prettiest brown eyes that y/n had ever seen. "yeah.. never been to a party before" he gave a small smile before he spoke up again. "too many drunk people.. not my crowd" kyle laughed, shaking his head a little and holding his hand out for y/n's cup. "i can get you some water, if you want" he offered, and y/n felt his smile widen as he handed the alcohol to the other teen. "thank you.." he gave a small hum, and looked back at his lap, playing with his hands. it seemed like this party wasn't so bad after all.

that night was the first of many that they spent together. kyle was the only person y/n ever fully opened up to after loosing his grandmother. not even a month after they first started talking they developed feelings for each other. any free time they had they spent together, y/n always felt happy with him, and every time they touched, even if y/n always had to keep his hands covered due to his powers, his face would flush red, and he didn't miss the way kyle would look away, as if he were trying to hide his own blush. surprisingly, y/n had been the one to make the first move. they were both curled up on kyle's bed watching a movie when y/n spoke up. "i got something i need to tell you" y/n looked over at kyle, his nerves growing as he waited for a response. kyle hummed quietly and reached for the remote to pause the movie. y/n was different to anyone else kyle had met before, he felt more comfortable with him than he'd felt with anyone else. he was the first person that he hadn't grown up around that he'd come out to, and of course y/n accepted him, in fact he was the only person to know who didn't see him any differently afterwards. "what's up" he smiled, tilting his head a little while he listened to y/n

y/n hesitated before he continued to speak, biting his lip a little. "i- i like you kyle, like.. really like you" he spoke so quietly kyle almost couldn't hear him. "and i know you probably don't feel the same way but i just- i needed to tell you and.." before y/n could even think he leant in to kiss kyle, and as soon as their lips touched y/n knew that kyle felt the same way, he could see it. when they both pulled back they both grinned at each other, and kyle took y/n's gloved hands, holding them gently. "i like you too" he leant in to kiss y/n again, at least he attempted to, but all he could do was smile against his lips, and y/n did the same, letting out a giggle. after everything he'd had to deal with in his life, y/n was finally finding happiness.

y/n was always there for kyle no matter what, there were countless nights spent with y/n holding kyle close and comforting him while he cried in his arms, overcome with dysphoria. y/n would always kiss away his tears and gently run his hands through his hair to soothe him while he reassured him that he was the most handsome man he’d ever seen, and it would always end with kyle falling asleep curled up against him. y/n had never know. what true love felt like till he met kyle, and kyle always told him that he felt the same. the two were so madly in love with each other, there was no denying it.

the night of the party y/n had a feeling something was going to go wrong. it was a gut feeling that he had, and he just couldn't shake it. kyle could tell that something was wrong the moment he'd walked through the door, and when he came up behind y/n to wrap his arms around him he'd flinched. kyle had never seen him flinch before. "hey, what's wrong?" he frowned gently as he leant in to press a kiss to y/n's cheek, and y/n signed quietly, placing his hands over top of kyle's hands. "i just.. feel weird.. like something's off" he mumbled, turning his head to kiss kyle for a moment. "if you don't wanna be here, we can go hang out in the frat's bus till the party's over" he offered, but y/n just shook his head. "i'm sure it's nothing.. i'll be fine" he forced a smile and looked up at kyle. he didn't want to ruin the party for his boyfriend, whatever it was, it couldn't have been anything severe. he would have been able to see whatever it was if he needed to, he was sure of it, but when he'd seen kyle run off frantically after the rest of his frat brothers not even half way into the party though, he began to wonder if he'd been wrong.

y/n began follow after his boyfriend till he was joined by zoe. "those sick fucks- they hurt madison!" she yelled, and y/n frowned in confusion, following zoe out of the house as they chased after the group. "kyle was chasing after them, like he was pissed at them or something.." he mumbled. before they even had a chance of catching up with any of the guys from the frat though, the bus was already speeding off down the road. "they can't get away with this.." zoe whispered as they both watched the bus. "whatever they did.. kyle won't let them get away with it" y/n looked over at madison as she joined them silently, and he pulled off one of his gloves to gently place his hand on her arm, and what he saw made him want to be sick. he knew now why kyle had been so frantic as he left.

y/n wrapped his arms around himself as he looked back at the bus. "how could anyone-" y/n was cut off when he watched the bus his boyfriend was in go flying through the air, and in that moment he could feel his heart stop. the bus tumbled down the road, and y/n brought his hands up to his mouth in a silent scream, dropping to his knees. the world around him seemed to fall silent as he hit the pavement below him, he could only hear a distant screaming, and he soon realised it was his own as he curled over on the ground, sobs of pain radiating through him. the bus had come to a stop now, and y/n scrambled to get up, his shaking legs giving out each time he tried to stand. "kyle- oh god" he whimpered, looking over at the bus that lay still only a few yards down the road. the love of his life was in that bus right now, and y/n already knew he was dead. he understood now what that feeling deep down inside was now, and kyle was dead because he hadn't listen to that feeling.

y/n shut himself off after that night. he had barley slept, every time he closed his eyes he saw kyle's lifeless eyes staring back at him, and he would break out into hysterical sobs, clawing at himself till he bled. nothing anyone could say would bring him any comfort, and he spent almost all of him days curled up in his bed staring at the wall till he would inevitably pass out from sleep deprivation, and even then, the nightmares would wake him up not long after. it was always the same one, the morgue, kyle's mutilated body laying on the examination table, and he'd always wake up screaming again. all he wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms again, without kyle it felt like a part of him was missing, and he'd never feel whole again.

"y/n.. you have to talk to us" zoe sat outside the door to y/n's room, leaning her head against the door. y/n hadn't spoken a word to anyone since the night kyle died, and they were all worried about him. they could all see just how much y/n and kyle loved each other, any time they were around each other it was obvious, it was the only time y/n ever truly smiled, and so they all knew just how much it killed him when he died. that was why when madison had suggested the absolutely insane idea of bringing kyle back to life, she had agreed. it was risky, they barley knew what they were doing, and it was even more risky when they decided to give him a new body, it didn't feel right to bring him back in the body that had caused him so much pain before he died. they weren't even sure if it would actually work, but when it did, it was obvious that it hadn't worked the way they intended it to. kyle was alive, but he didn't seem at all human.

zoe wanted to tell y/n that kyle was alive, but she felt like seeing him this way would only hurt him even more. they'd tried everything they could to fix him, but nothing worked. it was a last ditch attempt, the only thing she could think of that might help fix him would be to take him back home. there was a small click, the sound of y/n turning the lock, and then the door slid open, y/n slowly peaking out from the open door. "i miss him" was all he said, and he sounded so broken that zoe just had to tell him. "he's alive.. we brought him back but- but he's not.. him" zoe looked over at y/n, and his eyes widened at her words. "where is he?" y/n whispered, his mind raced as he tried to process what he'd just heard. "he's at his house, i wasn't gonna tell you yet because something went wrong.." y/n leapt forward and threw his arms around zoe, hugging her as tight as he could. "thank you" his eyes brimmed with tears, but for the first time since that night, they were tears of happiness. kyle was alive, and he was going to see him again.

no matter how many times zoe tried to warn him, y/n didn't listen. the only thought on his mind was seeing his love again. as y/n arrived at kyle's house, he could immediately sense something was wrong. the door was already open when he went to knock, and when he called out, there was silence. slowly he made his way through the eerily silent house, and when he reached kyle's room, he let out a gasp at the gruesome sight in front of him. kyle's mother lay dead on the floor, her head wide open. y/n stumbled back in shock, spinning around when he backed into something. it was kyle, he was standing right in front of him, covered in blood. y/n was silent for a moment as he looked up at him, tears rolling down his face when he finally spoke "what did you do kyle.." he whispered as he slipped off his gloves and reached up to cup kyle's face, flinching when his wrists were grabbed. "i'm not gonna hurt you" he spoke gently, looking up into kyle's terrified and confused eyes, and when kyle slowly released his grip y/n reached up to hold his face, his eyes widening while he let out a sob at everything that flashed through his mind. "oh god.. i'm so sorry" he cried as he pulled his hand back, throwing his arms around kyle. kyle let out a grunt, leaning against y/n as his arms hung limply at his sides. y/n could see now what zoe meant. kyle was here, but he was different, in a bad way.

y/n pulled back and looked up at kyle, reaching a hand up to brush his hair out of his face. "you're covered in blood.. let's get you cleaned up" he spoke softly, taking kyle's hands to gently lead him to the bathroom. he could see the scar around his neck under his shirt collar, and it made his heart hurt to think about just what he looked like before he'd been sewn back together. kyle could only let out groans and grunts as y/n set him down on the edge of the bath. y/n hesitantly reached his hands forward to begin to unbutton his shirt, his eyes widening as he slipped it off of him. "they didn't tell me they did this.." he whispered as he ran a hand over kyle's chest, looking up at him. kyle stared back at him blankly, and y/n knew he probably couldn't understand a word he said. it was like he wasn't even human anymore.

y/n helped kyle into the bath kneeling down to run his hand through his hair. "i'm so sorry.. i should have known something was gonna go wrong that night.. i could have stopped this" y/n watched kyle with tears in his eyes as he stared back blankly at him. "i wish you would just talk to me" kyle reached a hand out shakily and slowly placed it on y/n's cheek, and y/n leant into his touch, closing his eyes for a moment. it didn't feel right, this wasn't kyle. not really. he was only a shell, barely even living. y/n pulled back from kyle's touch to start washing the blood from him. kyle would flinch every few moments, and y/n pulled away after a few minuets with a quiet sigh. "you're making this much more difficult than it needs to be" he mumbled and shook his head, reaching for a towel. he turned around, holding his arms out for kyle to come towards him.

before y/n had even realised his mistake it was too late. kyle shot up from the bath in panic, and y/n stepped back, looking up at him. "i'm sorry kyle, i didn't mean to-" kyle let out a yell, swinging his arms out at y/n, who fell back with a yelp as he was hit in the chest. nothing he could say would calm kyle down, all he could do was cower against the wall as kyle yelled and screamed and stomped around. "i'm sorry.." he whimpered, pulling his knees to his chest as he watched kyle. kyle tugged at his hair as he stomped around. he could hear y/n trying to talk to him, and he wanted to talk back so bad, but he just /couldn't/. he didn't know how. no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't get the words out, and it made him so frustrated that all he could do was scream. he didn't want to hurt anyone, but he couldn't control himself. he was scared, so scared, he didn't understand what was wrong with him. he could see y/n, and he was scared, terrified, of /him/. kyle dropped down to his knees in front of y/n, tugging at his hair with a quiet sob. all he wanted was to be normal again, he was sick of being this monster.

y/n hesitantly moved forward to wrap his arms around kyle, and this time kyle hugged him back, burying his face in y/n's neck as he let out another broken sob, mumbling incoherently. y/n held kyle close, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, just like he’d done so many other nights, before all of this had torn their lives apart. "it's gonna be okay, i've got you.. i promise i'll take care of you this time" y/n whispered, stroking kyle's hair gently as he clung to him. y/n didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew that he had to fix kyle, he had to be there for him, he /wouldn't/ fail him this time.

#kyle spencer x male reader #kyle #kyle spencer #ahs #ahs coven #male reader #mlm reader #mlm #achillian #achillian reader #gay fiction #lgbt

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fishnets-fingers · 3 years

Note

HE'S NOT PULLING OUT THE WAY MAM! NO! (don't tell me he's trying to self harm or such)

“I’ll get my stuff and be out of your hair.”- thanks for respecting her decision H.

Abi is so sweet omg I LOVE HER

The way Vasanth and Abi handled him was <333333

Wait, what did just Abi and Layla talk about? I'm kinda confused but the way our Kutti's mood lifted for a while, warmed my up.

"But then again, Layla didn’t want a protector and some things were just not under twenty year old Harry’s control. A lesson he will learn soon. He heads downstairs, in search of his mum."- .........still a suspense but my heart is pacing less fast now.

Harry was giving both of us pressure for no reason.

If I was Anne, I'd be sobbing happy tears that my son is so grown up and is in love, later (ofc)

I feel warm. Like I’m cozy. Like it’s meant to be.- awwwh come, gimme a hug, someone.

Many people don't know when they're in love, H. (Just like how your writer, Maya, doesn't knows that she's in love with me ;))

I also learnt about Anxiety attacks, panic attacks and asthma attacks this afternoon, and it really does feel good when you're filled with everything you wanted to know.

ahhhh, so much stress!!

(I felt like such a rich and bitch aunt who divorced her husband rn lmao)

"Hi. Can you come over please? If that’s alright with you. Please let yourself in with the emergency spare key that Anne has."- AWH HELL YEAH

“No, please, let me finish. I just want you to tell me that you’d never look at me like I’m this broken little thing you need to protect or fix. I’m thankful that you helped with the whole waxing and waning of the panic attack. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I just want you to look at me the same way that you did before Monday. Can you do that?”- please my baby say yes.

"I won’t try to be your knight in shining armour...you are strong and I will do my best to stand by your side and support you" HEEYYY THAT'S MAH MAN

“Can I sit next to you or at least hold your hand?” “No,”- this scared me that Lails is angry, cause after some fight or may be an attck, my sister does this and IT LITERALLY STABS.

Oh the thin sticks hurt like a BITCH, like there leave marks for fucking ever

Me and my laugh about how she used to hit me and sis when we were young, so I get Lails.

Imma try and sleep may be.

Will read the rest tmorrow and please have sweet dreams mah-ma-maya (is it okay if I all you that?)

<33333

Hello there Aprajita!!! Your reactions literally give me LIFE babe. To clear up a few things:

- No, Harry wasn’t trying to self harm. He was just pulling out the weeds.

- Abi told Layla that her pregnancy resulted in a small bump and Layla was feeling it. I think I wrote about her telling her pregnancy to her in part six, if I’m not wrong. So they were just talking about it a little.

- Coming to that suspense sentence, hmm… is it a sentence that was resolved in this chapter or will it come back and tie up nicely in a future chapter? You will never know. Muhahaha. 😈

- I’m in love with you now, is it? Hmmm… 🙃

- Good on you for learning more about anxiety, panic and asthma attacks! You go girl! 🥳

- Thin sticks are the literal worst. And the welts. #fuckthinsticksgang

- Also, I bloody love that you call me mah-ma-maya. It’s so cute, I replied the same to the ask you sent me but this hellsite is broken :/

Happy dreams, Aparajita! Hope to see your reactions for the rest as well.

Tbh, with absolutely no response and the next to notes I get for my posts are extremely discouraging. You and a few others make it so much more rewarding. Thank you 😘

#aprajita #bookclub #part eleven #six months #asks

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aadyeah · 4 years

Note

Rant. About anything. I’m here for you. Ready? Set? Go.

YEAH SO DONT FORGET I AM GOING TO PUT THIS SAME ASK IN YOUR INBOX TOO

okay so my head hurts. like it legit hurts. I have had two breakdowns since morning (its past midnight rn). Idk it was like I was crying on totally small things. things that I easily sail through.

My nerve endings are still frayed I guess. You know, I am hypersensitive to loud sounds and my ma just wouldn't stop shouting in the hours I had the breakdowns. I had an anxiety attack on my toilet seat because I could hear her shouting about how big of a failure I am.

I can’t even tell you how many times people have given me the ‘don't make a scene’ or ‘stop overreacting’ face. My family even tells me that shit. Somehow I believed that I was an attention seeker for crying out.

But so, so many times, I have had attacks alone in my room. Alone in the bathroom, like today. Outside of a classroom. So many times with no one to see me. I am so, so, so frayed.

I was almost about to fail my one note a day self-harm post. So close. Oh my god, washrooms hold the weirdest secrets. This is the worst I have been this year. I honestly felt numb for the better part of the day.

Idk how or when but I fell asleep at some point after 1 pm and I woke up to sO many of these binary-coded rickrolling. It took my mind off the depreciating shit I was going through.

I can’t explain how much it affected my mood. I am so thankful to everyone who sent me rando shit.

I am so grateful for having awesome online friends like you. Thank you. I love you all.

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the-worst-fe-player · 4 years

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Sort of hiatus I'm not sure how to describe it

I'm just gonna be rebloging for a long while and probably wont talk in the tags (I'll still tag triggers and characters dw), commits or dms sorry to those who dm me recently I get round to you and thank you so much I'm just honstly I'm so sorry I understand if your angry I really do I'm sorry you can be mean I understand I'm sorry I understand that's not good enough. My reason in the cut but genral trigger warning for drinking, depression, anxity, suicidalthoughts, self harm, eating disorder, very minor mention of sex, and covid 19

I can't deal with this anymore I just struggling in general I wanna run away from the world but I understand I can't but everything is to much I can't deal with it though every day I'm drinking crying and finding out some way to hurt myself I haven't stared cutting agin but I hurt myself in other ways like through sex stuff, hitting myself and purpholsy reading stuff that will trigger me like abuse fics and stuff about sexual assault and I don't know why I do this sometimes I feel like different people and its fucking scary and idk how to deal with this and its scary and with the fear of my dad having covid it's even worse I cant handle it I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared idk what to do I have to be the strong one in the family but I'm not strong I'm a pathetic cry baby that cant go a day without drinking or cry I don't have an alcohol problem but I'm very dependent on it. I'm always beening watch by something idk what It is but i can feel it so in always on edge I'm never happy but fandom is one of the few things that make me happy but even then I'm scared to take part as j have to talk to people and I'm scared honstly thank you for following there are many people on this website I genraly love and care for even if we don't talk to much but like I'm really scared of you all I'm scared of disappointing you I'm scared of upsetting you I'm scared to voice my own oppion and I don't mean that in the right wing way because my political oppions I will speak on I'm very left wing and I don't want nazi cunts on here I mean harmless fandom shit. I'm scared but like even if it's a craply meme I base my hole self worth on how many notes it gets honsly witch is fucking stupid for somone who is scared of large amounts of people but I am fucking stupid. I'm just scared of everything and I can't take it so that's why I'll be quite for a while idk how long this will ge could be a week could be months idk. just eden was right I'm worthless the only thing I'm good for is severing others but even that I can't do right because master left probly because of my shitty gag reflex he had a massive dick that I wouldnt have been able to handle Im worthless and I wanna be alone but I'm scared to be alone but being alone is safest so I don't hurt anyone I haven't speakne to my irl friends for weeks because of this I just wanna die but I'm to much of a coward now a days to do it iv also put on weight tha only body type I look good as is a really skinny one apartly I don't have to face to be chubby but I am chubby so I'm ugly and not good enough so Iv stared throwing up after meals again after I took that selfie and noticed how fat my cheeks are but alcohol has so much calories and shit in it but I can't stop drinking it so I'm gonna be fat ugly and alone forever because in the end I'm never good enough everyone leaves me. But yeah I'm sorry for this I just got to vent but long story shot cant handled everything rn so apart from YouTube no original content for a while though my icon blog will still promblem have stuff as it's a stress relief thing

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restingdomface · 5 years

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Okay I can’t believe I’m going there, but, Lan Wangji’s magical healing cock and also mpreg AU:

Okay. So. Instead of Jin Zixuan being a dick to his crush, he genuinly never had a crush on her at all, and in fact, it never came to light until the Sunshit Campaign started, but JZX had a crush on Jiang Cheng all along. Jiang Cheng, who, reluctantly, returns his affections. Wei Wuxian is disgusted. His brother has terrible taste in men wtf.

So. Things went differently this time. What’s the change here? Meng Yao never left Nie Mingjue’s side. Of course, he did the spying thing, but he never betrayed him (this could be a part of my idea where NMJ and MY plan to actually have him be a spy and send him off after a planned execution of a soldier that NMJ decided needed a death sentence more than banishment, or, an AU where MY presented the idea to Wen Rouhan that his coming to WRH’s side was the betrayel itself). Now how does this change things? Because I honestly and truly think that if MY didn’t go to Jin Guangshan’s side afterwards, JGS wouldn’t have had the sway to execute anyone else in the Wen Family, or do anything horrible like that.

TBH he tries to wipe out the rest of the Wens, but it goes so badly and this time MY isn’t on his side (lol you know JGS would have tried tho, imagine how humiliating it would have been to be publicly denied by your own bastard son at the banquet after wow) and so JGS ends up removed from power entirely and JZX gets made sect leader instead.

This means, that since JZX is about to marry JC, they’re going to have to move to LanlingJin instead of both of them arguing over if they’d move to Lotus Pier or not. Cause they would argue over that. This means that Jiang Cheng is going to be the next Young Master Jin and Jiang Yanli is now officially the Jiang Sect Leader. Nice.

So. We’re rid of JGS and everyone’s happy and MY probably isn’t gonna kill anyone cause now he can marry NMJ in peace and not have to deal with anyone else, where does LWJ’s magic healing dick come in? Hold on I’m getting to it. Impatient.

So. The Wens. Of course, before JGS was removed from power, Wei Wuxian was actually running around saving Wen survivors and gathering them in the Burial Mounds, so he actually has to be coaxed into leaving by his siblings and LWJ and even JZX and NMJ (who thinks this is rather like that one time he had to coax Nie Huaisang out from under his bed when he became convinced NMJ’s cat was a demon because it wouldn’t stop attacking his songbird and he couldn’t come out cause she was in the room and she would steal his soul but she’s just sitting on the windowsill and meowing at them and NMJ is just silently planning to feed her more and keep her away from the atrium and tbh plz NHS you’re 16 years old you’re too old for this plz stop crying) and it’s great. It’s just great.

Anyways. WWX is paranoid af. Like so fucking paranoid. Cause they have been attacked. He’s got 12 year old girls talking about what the adult men in the Jin sect did to them. He’s got a traumatized toddler on his hip that screams when he sees Jin robes. He’s got children with branded scarring on their faces and wounds you can’t even imagine to come from anything but torture. He’s paranoid. He’s trying to keep the kiddos safe. They’re healers, and he’s given them the tools to heal, but they’re scared, and he’s paranoid without his Golden Core, and he’s scared, and he’s not putting down the toddler plz stop asking, he’s keeping this one, shut up.

So. What can he do but make a few demands? The Lan sect may have strict rules, but they would never attack innocent civilians, and they have rules about killing even animals in Gusu. He asks them to send all the Lan guards they can to escort them to GusuLan. He doesn’t think they’d hurt them in YunmengJiang either, but he can’t risk it. He was there when Lotus Pier burned. Cloud Recesses didn’t lose nearly as many people, and he’s still too traumatized to spend much time in LP rn.

So they go to Cloud Recesses. This actually, also gives the other sects a lot of time to get some glimpses at everyone that came from the Burial Mounds.

Not a single one of them was a cultivator.

This is a little different than canon. WWX can’t handle the loss of his golden core in this one. Not to say that he shouldn’t have done it, but that the resentful energy is dragging him down to the point where all he can feel is paranoia and fear. He’s almost completely unresponsive at this point. He follows after LWJ when told to, and he holds little A-Yuan in his arms, but he doesn’t pay much attention to anyone.

Wen Qing tells them of the loss of his core, but not how it happened. Lan Qiren doesn’t much like WWX still, but he accepts that a cornered animal will bite, and WWX lost his main weapon right before a major war. Of course he would do all he could to keep himself safe.

Jiang Yanli offers for the Wen Survivors to be integrated into YunmengJiang, since they lost so many people. It could help a lot. They accept, since she’s offering them protection and help.

Of course, Wen Qing and Jiang Yanli used to Spend A Lot Of Time Together in Cloud Recesses, so love is blooming there between the two sect leaders, and by the end of a year, they’re getting married themselves.

WWX doesn’t go back to LP with them. He couldn’t do it. A-Yuan and Granny and Wen Ning stay with him in Cloud Recesses. Granny talks with Wen Qing regularly, and A-Yuan is attached to Lan Wangji enough that Lan Xichen starts mentioning that he could attend classes there when he’s old enough. LXC is a WangXian shipper and is trying to get his brother to adopt the child. Y’all know he would. WWX spends his time arguing (loudly, but in a room with magical wards for sound so they don’t get in trouble) with a Lan mind healer that talks through his bullshit with him, sleeping the day away in one of the rooms of the Jingshi (because LWJ made him move in right away and WWX couldn’t even argue cause A-Yuan loves him too and he can ask LWJ to play Their Song whenever he wants to hear it) and following after A-Yuan as he enchants (and terrifies) all the rabbits in the field. Also getting yelled at (softly) by LQR for breaking rules. LQR and LWJ have been making it their personal mission to find a way to either purify the resentful energy so WWX can go back to his normal cheerful self that doesn’t jump or hide when startled, or to regain a Golden core so the yin and yang energies can balance each other and keep him stable.

Of course, JYL sends him a message that she’s getting married, and WWX pulls himself out of the fog enough that he can ask them to go to the wedding (he’s being polite, he’s going no matter what they say lol,) and LWJ accompanies him to the wedding. His siblings are so happy to see him there.

Anyways. Things get rocky when WWX hears them talking about kids.

Jiang Yanli will carry Jin Zixuan’s children, and they’ll keep the Jin name. They’ll know that all four of them are their parents, but it’s a way to pass on the name.

Wen Qing will carry Jiang Cheng’s children, and they’ll carry the Jiang name. This also helps to keep track of what kids are heir to what sect.

Of course, Wei Wuxian, the master of ‘I know The Most Obscure Bullshit Ever’, asks why they don’t just have their spouses children. There are spells and potions for that.

Well. No one else in the room knew that but him apparently. Well, they’re still going to go with their idea for the first few kids, and then they’ll decide if other means of pregnancy options are viable.

Anyways. Guess who else didn’t know it was possible for men to get pregnant? You guessed it. Lan Wangji. Who was also in the room at the time.

So. Wedding is lovely. They all have an amazing time. WWX is able to pull himself out of bed every day. He was even able to work on some cultivation items that LQR begrudgingly admits are amazing items and very useful to cultivation.

They go back to Cloud Recesses, and Lan Wangji combs through his and his uncle’s notes till he finds a viable solution to a return of a Golden core that they had originally scrapped because WWX wasn’t a girl.

To return a Golden core to a body by means of very careful pregnancy. Of course, such a thing would be considered stealing under normal circumstances, and most mothers would rather die than harm their child in the womb in a way that could kill them. But this was a method made to keep both parent and child from harm. A way to build the slightest lump of core in the parent, enough to stick and allow a base to build off of later.

Of course, without consulting Uncle (because the man would be horrified at the idea, and LWJ would rather be rejected by the man himself thanks very much) he takes the proposal to the man in question.

WWXA has to think about this one for a long time. He thinks about it while helping Wen Ning with zombie stuff so he can maintain a stable body. He thinks about it while writing letters to his siblings. He thinks a LOT about it while tucking their two year old into bed and reading him a story with the funny voices. He thinks about it when he spends a night in the cold springs with LWJ one night, close enough to touch the man, because without a Golden core, the water is too cold for him to survive in on his own.

He asks why LWJ would besmirch his honor like that. Having a child out of wedlock, his uncle would throw a fit. His name would be in tatters.

LWJ blinks, once, and twice. He quietly tells him the offer could involve marriage if WWX thinks it’s of import.

So. They get married. So they can have a child. Another child. Just. Yeah. Let’s get married so we can mate like rabbits.

They’re in love. Of course they are. But they’re also shy idiots. LWJ is a sex fiend like usual, and WWX quickly gets addicted to it, but they’re both too shy to say anything sappy yet. Well. No. Scratch that. LWJ is fully willing to admit his love to the world. But he’s a very quiet person. So he mostly just tells WWX how much he would do anything for him, and even eats his horrible poison cooking. Not even A-Yuan will touch that shit.

A-Yuan is so excited to be a big brother. His favorite place to lay is curled around WWX’s big belly and giving it kisses while A-Die scratches his hair and reads him stories.

A-Yuan finally gets his baby and Wei Wuxian gets the stability that a Golden core provides so he can continue using resentful energy to dodge the many many scrolls Shifu Qiren will throw at him over the years to come. LQR swears that if that man hadn’t given his nephew happiness and also many great nephews-

Anyways. The Lotus Flowers are all gay and all happy send tweet.

#jiang cheng #jiang yanli #a yuan #mdzs #the untamed #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #jin zixuan #meng yao #nieyao #wen qing #jc totally carries at least one of jzxs babies #idk why the whole fandom thinks jzx could never top #let jc be a pushy bottom plz #all the lotus flowers are pillow princesses in this one lol #jc and wwx get pregnant at the same time at one point and theyre both horrible about it #wangxian #chengxuan #mpreg

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