#like sure but im struggling to think of things in his character that give off the vibes of studying the elements?

[telephoniii]

hello! I saw your requests were open, so here I am :3 could I get the dorm leaders reacting to yuu/reader having random bruises? they are just from human stuff- like running into things by accident, dropping stuff, etc. but I think it would be interesting to think what they would assume first other than that! sorry for rambling n I give you my best wishes!

ACCIDENT-PRONE

☆彡 in which you find yourself getting hurt a lot

dorm leaders x GN!reader

word count: 200 per character

tags: pre-relationship, possible ooc, reader is prefect, first impressions

a/n: im going to try and post at least once a week but no promises. also im always getting random cuts and bruises that i have no idea how they get there. i hope you enjoy :>

riddle rosehearts

Riddle assumes you're doing it on purpose. No one could be that clumsy. You'll probably break a rule with how much stuff you accidentally run into or drop. And he'll definitely scold you for it. His tune starts to change the more he gets to know you. He will still always be the first one to chastise you, but also the first to get you bandaids and ice. He's worried honestly. He hates seeing you so bruised, even if it's from mundane things. Riddle will try to be more strict with you. If you're under harsher rules, there's a less likely chance of you getting injured, correct? Nope. You still find a way. At some point he stops trying to enforce so much onto you and instead shifts his focus to patching your wounds. He'll be making sure it gets properly iced! Even if it's a minor bruise. During unbirthday parties, he's going to be glued to your side. The thought of you accidentally breaking glass from a teapot or cup frightens him too much. If you call him out on it he'll flush a bright red out of embarrassment and explode on you a bit, saying that he wouldn't need to be doing all of this if you could just be more careful. Yeah, it's better to just silently appreciate his care. Because he does care, a lot. He's just bad at saying it.

leona kingscholar

The first few times he can brush it off as you being reckless. Most in Savanaclaw are. But once he spots a pattern? He thinks it's so funny. He'll sit you down in front of him and point at random bruises and scars saying, "What's this one from?" Then he'll proceed to laugh at you when you say you just tripped and ate shit. He knows you're tough enough to handle yourself. Don't let him touch any of the bruises. He'll press down on them purposely. If it makes you feel better, he'll jokingly call them your battle scars. Leona makes it sound way cooler than it actually is to other people. "Yeah, they've got a good amount of battle scars. Herbivore's pretty damn tough." This isn't to say he doesn't care. If you're around him and about to run into or drop something, he'll pick it up or stop you with his tail. He's got those beastman reflexes, it's light work for him. Whenever he does this, he's absolutely teasing you. "You really should be careful. It starts with breaking one glass. Then it turns to breaking an arm." Don't worry, his teasings always sound like threats. He doesn't mean any harm. If you're in a space with extra breakable objects, his eyes naturally watch over you; ready to spring into action at any second.

azul ashengrotto

Honestly? Might assume you're not human at first. It's common for merfolk to struggle at first when on land— he'd never admit it but he had such a hard time learning how to walk. Still has trouble in PE. When he learns you're just a human who happens to get injured a lot? A bit less sympathetic. Do not step foot into Monster Lounge. Please. Floyd causes enough accidents in there already. He doesn't need another person dropping glasses and food everywhere. Azul does not take any chances. He feels bad when you show him all the different bruises you've obtained. Being a merfolk means he's not super well equipped to handle human injuries. He doesn't know what to do other than rub it gently and wait for it to go away on its own. His solution? Just prevent you from getting injured! This means he’s baby proofing everything. You’re using plastic everything from now on. Plastic cups, plastic utensils, you name it. The scissors in your pencil case? They’re getting replaced with those kiddy dull ones. Hell, he might even put a gate in front of the stairs of Ramshackle to make sure you don't fall and tumble down them. If he’s with you then every time you pass by a table he’ll cover the corner with his hand to prevent you from hitting it. This man is doing the most. But it's all just concern for your wellbeing. He's cruel, but not that cruel.

kalim al asim

If you get hurt at his party, he's instantly apologizing and doing literally everything he can to help. Bandaids? Ice? Urgent Care!? ER!? Just say the word! The table you bummed into is getting put in the storage. You'll have to explain to him that, no, you're not dying. This kinda stuff just happens to you a lot. Once it registers what you're saying, he's actually over the moon happy. You're bumping and dropping everything, accidentally getting injured? Oh my sevens! He's bumping and dropping everything, accidentally getting injured! You two are twins! He's so excited just from your first meeting. He feels like you understand him. The things he does that cause bruises are never on purpose, it just happens! He'll definitely share those top-tier creams and bandaids that cost a ton but make them go away fast. Being around him actually makes your random injures worse. Because now both of you are getting double the bruises. Accidentally drop something on your foot? It bounced off you and hit Kalim's foot too. Kalim wasn't paying attention and rammed into the corner of a table? That pushed the table closer to you, causing you to stub your toe. It's like you two are spiritually connected when it comes to this. Jamil doesn't like having you over. It's nothing personal, but you make his job 10 times harder. Too bad Kalim absolutely adores your presence so you're over all the time.

vil schoenheit

Like Leona, he'll assume you're reckless. Except, he's got more distaste for those of that nature. He'll scoff every time he sees a new bruise... Until he hangs out with you and realizes that you are just the most accident-prone person he's ever seen. Vil will take it upon himself to try and train you. Remember how he was with the Fairy Gala? That's how he's going to be with you. Just not as harsh. He'll do that thing where he stacks books on top of your head and tells you to walk. When they inevitably fall and nearly tumble down on your foot, he's able to stop it with magic. However, he'll simply restock the books and tell you to try again. Vil is determined. When he wants something, he gets it. And right now he wants you to not be as randomly bruised as you are. Surprisingly, it kinda works. You're not bumping into as much tables or ramming your foot into walls anymore. Instead, the bruises are coming from random things fall on top of you. Are. You. KIDDING. When he's around, he'll stop these falling objects with his magic but unfortunately Vil is a busy man who can't be around you 24/7. So? Back to training! He's merciless as he trains you to dodge random things falling from the sky. It's a hard and long path, but when he sees the grin on your face as you dodge a book for the first time in the library, Vil knows it's worth it.

idia shroud

Assumes you're just someone who goes out a lot. Don't wanna get bruised? Just don't go outside lmao. Skill issue. It isn't until he allows you into his room that he realizes that, no, it isn't because you touch grass. It's because you're you. He swiftly learns that the hard way when he watches his entire shelf of figures just tumble over on you out of the blue, unprompted. "Alright, alright. You've got a friend that's consistently getting injured, Idia. Think. Think..." A lightbulb goes on in his brain as he gives you a toothy grin and unsettling laugh. What beats rock? Paper. What beats object? Armor! Why didn't he think of it sooner? You're going to be stuck in his room for a few days as he tests different robotic armor protection on you. To give him some credit, it works. You don't feel it when you ram into tables or accidentally drop something on yourself. But the people around you certainly do. A single touch of the table to this armor sends that thing flying. A random object dropping onto you is the least of your worries as a huge spike appears out of the armor to pierce it, nearly hitting the person next to you. So, yes. He has solved your problem. But in the most inconvenient way possible for everyone around you. Ace and Deuce are begging you to put down the suit of armor.

malleus draconia

"Oh dear. You're quite the unlucky one, aren't you?" And Malleus would be right. Seeing as you're one of his only friends, he doesn't want you to be getting hurt this frequently. Humans are fragile. What if the next rock that falls on you as actually a bolder? He can't fathom the thought of losing you. Malleus decides that he wants you around him. All. The. Time. That way, if not him, then his attendants can stop these bruises from happening. It's hard to explain to him that, no, you can't be around him all the time because different classes and dorms are a thing. Also, as much as you love hanging out with Tsunotaro, it's also very nice to have other friends. This poor fae is super confused. He takes your words as you wanting to get hurt. And why would you want to get hurt? Malleus struggles to understand, leading you to recruit Lilia in helping explain your case. Unfortunately, he's quite the stubborn boy. It takes talking from Lilia and the headmaster for him to register that he isn't allowed to have you by him all the time. It's disappointing for sure, but he'll just have to accept in. Due to this, the time you do spend together he's extremely vigilant to make sure nothing harms you. And during the times you're not, he promises to heal your wounds with his magic.

[4unnyr0se]

❥ sfw & n$fw headcanons - yuu nishinoya & morisuke yaku

warnings: timeskip! characters, fem! reader, they're sweetiepies, noya is actually a freak, roleplay, switch! noya, hickeys, spanking, mentions of unprotected sex, dom! yaku, slight breeding kink with yaku, cowgirl, doggystyle, they love you so much

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 2k

a/n: im sorry if yaku is ooc i wrote this at 2am and i do not feel like editing anything. n$fw is censored because i would like to keep my blog lmao

Yuu Nishinoya - SFW

❥ Absolutely whipped for you the second he lays his eyes upon you. You could be doing anything, literally anything, and he knew right then and there that he would die for you, no questions asked.

❥ He doesn’t really care what qualifies as a “date” as long as he gets to spend time with you. You could be folding laundry together, and he thinks it’s the most romantic date you’ve been on because you’re with him and you’re his entire world.

❥ Spontaneous. Gifts. He’ll send flowers to where you work, give you cool rocks he found while hiking or doing some other such thing, making you a care basket full of your favorite chocolates and snacks, contracting Sugawara to help him write love letters (writing is not his strong suit but he still wants to do it.)

❥ So much food, like…just so much food. You’ve been to every restaurant in town at least twice because that boy loves to eat. Even if you aren’t a big eater, he’ll still make sure you get three meals a day plus snacks. And if you struggle to eat, he’ll be so happy even if you only eat a little bit off your plate.

❥ Quality time and physical touch are his love languages, so expect to be getting kisses often. Pecks on the cheek in public, his arms wrapped around your waist from behind as you wash dishes in the sink. And if he’s jealous? He has no problem making out with you in front of people because you’re his, and the world should know.

❥ Speaking of physical touch, this man will not stop holding your hand. At least one part of him is touching a part of you at any given moment when you’re together as if he’s afraid you’d float away if he let go.

❥ Hella clingy, this man is incredibly clingy. If you get up to use the restroom when you’re cuddling, he’s waiting outside the door for you to come back so he can kiss those beautiful lips of yours. He just can’t get enough!

❥ Obsessed with you and everything that you do. Did you sneeze? He’s on the verge of tears because you look so fucking cute when you sneeze. Did you buy a new outfit? He’s throwing a tantrum until you model it for him so he can shower you with praise. Noya worships the ground you walk on and them some. 

❥ Lowkey possessive but in a good way. Deep down, he’s worried that you’ll leave him for someone taller or better than he is, so he gets a tiny bit jealous when he sees someone talking to you that he considers a threat. Of course, you’re free to do whatever you like. He would never tell you what you can and cannot do. He respects you too much for that. But he will talk to you about his feelings because he’s mature like that.

N$FW

❥ So. Many. Hickeys. This ties into the part of him being possessive. He wants to let everyone know that you’re his, and what better way to show you off than by parading you around town with your neck and chest covered in little red and purple bruises? You’ve nearly gone bankrupt on buying just concealer because once a hickey fades away, a new one will take its place in no time at all.

❥ Literally anything the two of you do will end in him fucking you or vice versa. If you bend down to pick something up, his hands are groping your ass, and he’s pulling down your panties and shoving his fingers into your pussy, all the while whispering the filthiest things in your ear. 

❥ This motherfucker whines and whimpers, and he’s so incredibly loud about it. The second he shoves his dick inside, he becomes a babbling, pussydrunk mess that’s only focused on you cumming all over his cock.

❥ Noya is 100% a switch who doesn’t lean towards being submissive or dominant. He just does whatever you want him to. Do you want him to fuck you stupid for hours on end? He’s down for that? Do you want to tie him up, blindfold him, and ride him until he can’t think. Also completely down for that. 

❥ Endless stamina. As long as you’re up for it, he can fuck you for the entire day. He simply doesn’t believe in a recovery period on his end. He’ll fuck you from sunrise to sunset. All you have to do is ask.

❥ Tits man 100%. Noya loves tits, no matter the size or shape. If you have huge tits, he’s fondling them as he takes you from behind. Medium-sized tits? He sucks on them as you ride his cock, relishing in the taste. Small tits? He plays with your pert nipples as he fucks you missionary. All tits are good tits in his eyes

.❥ Highly experimental in the bedroom. He’ll try anything and everything if it means you both get to feel good. From you pegging him to him filming your third orgasm of the night, he’s down for whatever. The only things he isn’t okay with are hitting you (impact play) and sharing you with others. He will casually slap your ass but that’s as far as he’ll go. He just can’t bring himself to hit you, even if it turns you on.

❥ Could eat you out for literal days and not get tired, not even for one second. He wants you cumming on his tongue and pulling on his hair as you beg him for more, and he’ll give it to you.

❥ Focuses on your pleasure, not his own. You’re his goddess and he’d do anything to serve you, anything to make you cum again and again.

❥ Has a whole index of kinks, but his top ones are roleplay and passionate sex. Dress up as a teacher, and he’ll cum in his pants, begging on you to punish him for failing your class.

❥ Loves to make love to you.

❥ “Yeah? You like it when I fuck you with my fingers, angel? M’gonna make you cum so fucking much for me, my perfect angel.”

❥ “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight. Can’t get enough of this dick, can you baby? Gotta fuck you stupid.”

❥ “More, I want more! I’ve been so bad, I deserve to be punished, ma’am!”

❥ “Talk to the camera for me, angel. Tell the camera how many times my cock made this pussy squirt all over the sheets.”

❥ “Gonna fucking cum inside, can’t pull out. Oh, fuck, baby, you’re fucking milking me dry, shit.”

❥ “Faster, fuck me faster! Wanna fucking cum so bad, please! I’ve been good, right?”

Morisuke Yaku - SFW

❥ Loves when you get an attitude with him because he also has an attitude. He loves when you talk back to him and when you tell him how you really feel, it’s just so refreshing. Honesty is very important to Yaku.

❥ You and Yaku basically continue to mother Lev well after you’re both graduated. Lev will call and text you for advice and you’ll gladly help him, even if Yaku gets a little jealous that you’re paying more attention to the oversized Russian than you are to your own boyfriend.

❥ Takes you on the most romantic restaurant dates ever. He has professional athlete money, so order whatever the hell you like! If you want five lobsters, get five lobsters. As long as his baby is happy.

❥ Spoils you rotten, but he won’t ever admit it. If you point out a cute necklace that you saw in a magazine, it’s there when you wake up the next morning. Yaku will pretend to not know how it got there, but he knows, obviously. Expect lots of expensive gifts when you’re dating, especially from designer brands. Half of your closet is Chanel and you sure as hell aren’t complaining.

❥ Not that big on PDA, but will wrap an arm around your waist in public. Since he’s a well-known libero in the Russian Volleyball League, he gets approached on the street sometimes. He doesn’t want to draw too much attention to himself (especially if you hate getting attention from strangers, so he holds off on kissing you until you’re in the privacy of his penthouse apartment.

❥ Pleads and begs until you adopt a cat together. He just wants a cat with you, any cat will do. It can be a cat you found in a dumpster or a cat that cost someone’s entire yearly salary, he just wants a cat to raise with you by his side.

❥ Wraps his arms around your waist as you cook and leave kisses on your neck. Whether you’re taller or shorter from him, get ready for hugs and kisses from behind.

❥ If you struggle with your body image, he’ll kiss away all your insecurities. His lips will be on yours for hours as he tells you how perfect you are, and how much he loves you. He’ll kiss away your tears as you start crying as well, because to him you are perfect.

N$FW

❥ Not very vocal in bed, but he does make plenty of grunts and groans. The only time you’ll ever really hear him moan is when you bite down on his incredibly sensitive neck, which will make him cum on the spot.

❥ Advocate for safe and healthy sex but prefers to hit it raw. He’ll use a condom if you want him to, he isn’t a monster. But the way you react when his cum fills out of your womb makes him want to wife you up and fuck you every single day.

❥ Designer lingerie is his weakness, especially the ones with garters that squeeze your thigh beautifully. If you wear red lingerie around him, be prepared to not be able to walk tomorrow because he will ruin your pussy.

❥ 100% a pleasure dom. Nothing makes him happier than knowing that he fucks you so good each and every night that you can’t even get off without his help anymore because that’s how much he loves to fuck you.

❥ Ass man. His hands will be on your ass all the time and you just have to accept it. He loves to fuck you from behind because he’s mesmerized by the way your ass moves as he fucks you. His favorite position is doggystyle.

❥ A weird turn-on for him is when you walk around wearing his jersey. He fucking loves it when you wear his jersey, and he can see your lacy panties poking out under the shirt, it drives him wild. If you wear his jersey, he gets an instant boner.

❥ Sit. In. His. Lap. Sit in his lap and dry hump him. He needs it so badly. He loves watching as you struggle to get off on his thigh. You look so cute when you’re desperate.

❥ Definitely a brat tamer. He loves it when you have an attitude because he gets to fuck it out of you later, spanking you as he tells you how much of a brat you are and how you need to learn your lesson. You never do.

❥ Mirror sex. He’s mesmerized by how adorable you look in the mirror as your pussy struggles to take his girthy cock.

❥ “Yeah? Look at yourself in the mirror, princess. Look at how your slutty little pussy is taking me. You’re such a little slut, you’re my little slut.”

❥ “Did you think you could just walk around in my jersey and nothing else? Bend over, princess, right fucking now.”

❥ “I’m so fucking close, shit. You want me to cum inside you, princess? Want me to fill you up and give you my babies? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

❥ “Fuck, you know what red does to me. So fucking slutty for me, babygirl. Now get on the bed and spread those legs nice and wide like a good girl.”

❥ “Take it, fucking take it. That’s my good girl. I love it when you behave for me, princess. Can I get another one of you, my love? I think you can handle another orgasm.”

❥ “You look so pretty when you cum, princess. Do you like how your Morisuke makes you feel? Use your words, princess.”

[black-forest-cookies]

mydei x reader

honkai star rail

tw; might be a bit ooc, didn’t know how to end this, not accurate to the storyline cause im avoiding seeing the update lmfao, this is with a more feminine reader but should be pretty gender neutral , btw all my fics are written with a plus size reader in mind!

mydei, prince of kremnos, who puts in the effort to see you as often as possible once he’s met you at a market in okhema, a random person that’s just living your life.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who struggles to ask you on a date after speaking to you a few times, wanting it to be nice enough for you to remember.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who eventually decided to get you flowers, your favorite flowers, and ends up just softly asking if you’d like to take a walk.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who buys anything you seem to want, and is surprised if you get him something.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who goes back to his room with you in mind and eventually realizes how in love with you he is.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who wants to ask you to be his quickly, and just ends up asking you to be his the next time he sees you.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who smiles softly when you say yes, his happiness obvious to just you as he grabs your hand in his rough one and holds it up to his face, kissing your knuckles gently.

he ends up smiling widely when you start giggling because its so out of character for him to be so gentle.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who makes you breakfast often, the fluffiest, sweetest pancakes just for you as often as you’d like.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who likes having you around during training, and of course you like it too, making sure he can show off the muscles he’s gained over the years.

if you ask he will lift you and it’ll be with ease, a smile on his face as you get flustered over how easy he can move with you sat on his shoulder, one hand holding your side so you stay in place.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who loves going to the market with you, even if it’s just for groceries or you’re looking for some random gift for a friend.

he’ll follow beside you and point out things he thinks you’d like with a gauntlet clawed hand, happy when you intertwine your hand with his.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who loves fighting for you any chance he’d get, no matter if it’s a physical fight or not.

but if anyone comments on your appearance he’ll press a kiss to your forehead and then beat their ass.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who loves holding you, he loves that you’re his and he loves all of you.

even what you don’t like, he will love it for you.

mydei, prince of kremnos, that understands when you feel uncomfortable with your body and offers to give you a very simplified workout if you wish to feel healthier and much more comfortable in your body.

he’ll guide you through it and cheer you on, making sure you rest properly everyday.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who mentions you often, thinking about you in almost every situation.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who hides you as long as he can from the other chryos heirs because they’d be interested in getting to know you and he just wants you for himself.

only to eventually get caught as he’s giving you a kiss when he took you home, by phainon, who screams that you’ve stolen mydei from him (playfully of course) and is then smacked over the head by your lover.

mydei, prince of kremnos, who is gentle with you because he’s scared to be too rough with you, putting in so much effort to love you each moment he has.

mydei, prince of kremnos and your lover, who wishes to spend each moment with you.

[lilyevansisamilf7]

Another Life - Spencer Reid

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem Reader (Non Specified but imagined fem)

Warnings - not spell checked, character death??, cheating, all cm trigger warnings, Maeve, mentions of eating disorders addiction and suicidal thoughts.

Summary - You we’re ready to marry him, he was ready to leave.

———————————————————————

You fell in love four years ago. Budding new SSA Y/L/N and the marvellous Doctor Reid, the BAUs power couple, attached at the hip - perfect.

And perfect it was, you and spencer had been through everything together. Case after case, his addiction, your own struggles with disordered eating, and everything inbetween, so when he started being distant, and getting migraines, you were sure you could help. You found him the best doctors, geneticists, anything and anyone.

You never thought he’d fall for Maeve Donovan, his geneticist, i mean how could you, you’d seen the ring. He was going to propose, or so you thought, a beautiful amethyst ring hidden in the blazer pocket of his work suit. Not your favourite crystal but you’re sure he had a reason for picking it, he always did.

So you began planning.

And you planned and planned until it suddenly didn’t feel like he was going to propose anymore.

“Spence?” You call out from the kitchen where you’re making dinner.

“Yeah love?” He walks in.

“I was just thinking, do you ever think about marrying me?”

“Well yeah in the future when we’ve settled a bit more, i’m happy how we are right now”

“Oh” You sigh, “What about that ring in your blazer pocket? What’s that for then?”

Silence. You know what that means.

“Is she pretty?” He looks down at his shoes.

Your turn off the stove and wipe your hands on your trousers.

“It’s Maeve isn’t it? The doctor?” You giggle sadly “You always liked them smart”

“Y/n…”

“Does she make you happy?”

“Not like you do”

You scoff. He looks at you confused.

You pick at your nails, crying slightly. “You were the one for me Spence, and I just want you to be happy, I thought that was with me but i guess not anymore” You shrug before grabbing your bag.

“What are you doing?” He try’s to grab your hands.

“Im going to stay with Garcia tonight” You reach the door, “Maybe you can invite Maeve for dinner, i made your favourite. I’ll be back tomorrow to gather my things”

“Please don’t do this..”

“Goodbye Spencer Reid”

———————————————————————

The past month had been hell for you, you didn’t tell anyone the real reason you and Spencer split up, not wanting to ruin his friendships with the rest of the team, but you hadn’t been doing well. You’d lost a lot of weight, stopped going out with the team, and started throwing yourself into your work.

It was plain as day that you were heartbroken.

So when Spencer came in, seeking help for Maeve, you were advised to steer clear of the case. But you were determined to show everyone you were fine.

You worked the hardest on the case and found Diane first, and joined spencer on retrieving Maeve.

You walk in unarmed, as requested by Diane, and see Maeve being held by gunpoint.

“Diane, right?” You try and sound as calm as possible, “I’m Y/n”

“Stay back or I shoot her!”

“She rejected you didn’t she? Your paper? I read it and it was good, just needed a little more evidence”

“What evidence?”

“Someone who wasn’t your parents, who wanted to die”

You breath in

“I can help Diane, you need someone like me, you can kill me”

“You’re trying to trick me!” She exclaims.

“i’m not, Maeve doesn’t want to die, do you Maeve”

She begins to cry begging for her life.

“And you do?”

“I’ve got nothing left to live for”

You look to Spencer sadly.

“Think about it Diane, this gives you the evidence you need” You smile.

“You’re trying to trick me!”

“Fine, I guess Dr Donovan was right” I fake sigh and get a little closer, “You aren’t worth the time or effort”

In an instant, Maeve is thrown to the floor and Diane grabs and shoots you both in the stomach.

You fall to the ground.

Spencer instantly runs to you, cradling you in his arms, your breaths shallow and weak.

“Is Maeve okay?”

Astounded at your care he says “Please don’t worry about her, save your strength, the medics are on their way”

“I don’t think i have the time Spence”

“Please baby” He whispers.

“Are you happy Spence?”

“She’s not you…”

He holds you tight and you reach up to cradle his cheek with your hand, “Please let yourself be happy” A metallic taste covering the inside of your mouth.

As he’s holding you he can feel how much smaller you’ve become. “You’ve not been taking care of yourself” He begins to cry

“It’s not important now,” I whisper, “Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think i’m another life we made it

He thinks for a moment.

“I’m every universe i will be forever yours, I just wish it could’ve been in this one too” Beginning to sob

“And i will always be yours too, you were it for me Spencer Reid”

His tears fall down quicker than you can wipe them away.

“At least we’ll have all those other lives, we could have that wedding I planned,” I giggle sadly, “You would’ve loved it”

“I should’ve asked you, I wanted it to be you”

“I wanted it to be me too”

Your eyes begin to close, in the distant shouts for medics get louder, the blaring of sirens closer.

“I love you” he whispers, “Please don’t leave me, we’re not done yet”

———————————————————————

[rapilne]

-Ice Cold

beomgyu x fem!reader

warnings: sub!beomgyu, sex (?) this contains smut, not proofread, MDNI, beomgyu pov-ish

a/n: no summary cause i couldn't tell you what this is about. this is my first time writing anything like this, i wrote it on my notes so im not sure how many words there are, i think too many, this is without a doubt too long, pls bear with me. also english is not my first language, if something doesn't make sense well idk figure it out pretty pls, thankssss 🫶

--

"she's my girlfriend," beomgyu said, his expression a mask of utter sincerity.

his words hung in the air, the silence filled with unspoken questions. 

yeonjun squinted at him, scrutinizing his face before glancing at taehyun then back at him. "so, you're saying… you have like a crush on her?"

an exasperated sigh escaped beomgyu. “what? no," he protested "i mean, yes? ” he closed his eyes and said slowly “no… it’s like i said it. she’s my girlfriend for real.”

the weight of his words hanged heavily and his friends remained speechless, drinks on their hands and stares like daggers. beomgyu shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to do to stop them from looking at him like that.

"i just don't understand what's so surprising about it," he muttered, a pout forming on his lips.

—

choi beomgyu had always been the epitome of charisma. from his looks to his charm, whether he stepped into a crowded room or sauntered down a bustling street, all eyes gravitated toward him.

he was well-known and well-liked everywhere he went: university corridors, guitar lessons, basketball practice, even the corner store near his apartment. everyone is positively drawn in by his undeniable charm.

he likes to think he got that from his mother.

naturally, beomgyu thrives on the attention. the way people's faces lit up upon his arrival was a like drug he couldn't resist. 

specially when he is so used to getting his way. never in a malicious or manipulative way, it was jut that asking was usually all it took to always obtaining whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it.

so, all things considered, he'd never struggled to draw the attention of those he found attractive. one could almost say he had his pick of the litter.

that is the reason why setting his sights on you should be the most foolish thing beomgyu has ever done in his entire existence. and yet, there he was, unable to resist the pull.

from the first time he met you, in his advanced music business class, it was as though you existed in a world entirely apart from his own. not responding to any of his advances honestly threw him off but he tried to look past it attributing it to a fleeting lapse or perhaps an uncharacteristic bad mood on your part.

but after you acted the same way the next time he tried talking to you, and the next, and the next, he couldn’t help but take it personally. 

he soon realized it wasn't merely a matter of wounded ego. from the very first meeting, he had mustered his most charming smile just for you. after all, he thought you might just be the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his life, and after just a few classes, he realized you were also one of the smartest people he knew. everything about you seemed to get his attention, like you were the main character in a movie he couldn't take his eyes off of.

so, whyy you, out of everyone, had to be the one to give him the cold shoulder like that? why couldn’t he just like someone who liked him back?

either way, he soon came to find out thanks to his seat mate jun that your behavior was not uncommon.

he couldn't shake off the words his friend had offered in consolation: "don't sweat it, she's like that with pretty much everyone."

of course, in true beomgyu fashion, he couldn't help but sweat it. 

he did pick up on your vibe—not shy at all, like he thought at first, but definitely serious and reserved— but he wasn't accustomed to blending in with the crowd like that; being treated like “pretty much everyone” didn't sit right with him. 

"it's all so high school," jun chuckled, shaking his head. "but people actually call her the ice queen.”

now it seems like getting on your good side might be a task for the gods.

good thing he is known for always getting what he wants.

— 

taking a sip of boba should never be this unpleasant. except that time he ordered matcha when he meant taro, beomgyu's boba runs are always a particularly happy time. right now though, it isn’t going so well. especially when yeonjun goes "you’re fucking lying," for what must be the seven-hundredth time.

“i only lied when i told you that mesh shirt you’re wearing was a look.”

the older gasps, "take that back."

beomgyu then stands up and looks at the counter. there are only a couple of tapioca pearls left on his drink and he thinks he might ask for some more. are tapioca pearls refills allowed in this place? he doesn’t think they’re allowed anywhere, but he might as well ask.

throwing a pointed look at yeonjun—who still looks mildly offended—taehyun tries again. "when did that even happen, beomgyu?"

entirely unfazed, he stirs his drink lazily and sits back down. "i only have like two tapioca pearls left."

"he’s talking about boba because he’s lying." yeonjun scoffs and beomgyu thinks he might punch him any second now.

"look, I don’t know what’s so unbelievable about me and Y/N being together when-"

"Y/N and me," taehyun cuts him off.

"huh?"

taehyun takes a slow sip of his drink before explaining. "the correct way to say it is ‘Y/N and me,’ not ‘me and Y/N.’ though, technically, it depends on the context of the sentence. like, both are grammatically correct, but ‘Y/N and me’ is considered mo-"

"what on actual fucking earth are you talking about?" beomgyu stares at him

"i'm talking about the proper structure of-"

“that is literally not important!” yeonjun interrupts them both with a loud voice, “can we please stay on topic? why are you lying about y/n being your girlfriend beomgyu?”

beomgyu glares at yeonjun, throwing his straw to the trashcan right next to them. they came in quite late to the boba shop and didn’t get the best table.

“for the millionth time, yeonjun, i’m not lying!” he says with wide eyes. “what is it that you want? i can call her right now, put her on speaker and asker to tell you how much she likes me, yeah?”

yeonjun narrows his eyes at him, suspicious. “do it.”

“you’re fucking kidding me-“ 

the door chimes and the older’s attention is momentarily taken by the sound. beomgyu takes advantage of it and quickly sizes yeonjun's cup only to realize his mistake too late and have the matcha flavor assaulting his taste buds.

he chokes back a gag and it’s impossible for taehyun to not roll his eyes. he appears to be the only one inmune to beomgyu’s charm, consequences of their close friendship.

yeonjun’s laughter fills the air once he realizes what happened. “that’s what you get,“ he says.

“how can you drink that?”

“matcha is tasty,” yeonjun shrugs.

“matcha is a gross,” beomgyu retorts, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

“the way you are just unwilling to talk about it makes me think that yeonjun might be onto something,” taehyun looks up at him propping his chin on his hand.

“why would i lie about me being in a relationship with someone?”

“that's what we want to know stupid," yeonjun says mockingly. "actually, why do you do half the thing you do?”

“yeonjun stop,” taehyun he says and then looks at this other friend, “beomgyu, it is not really about you being in a relationship. it is about with who.”

“what’s is wrong with y/n?” he asks with a pout on his lips.

“oh nothing,” yeonjun scoffs. “except everyone says she is quite literally a bi-“

"watch it, yeonjun,.” beomgyu cuts him off coldly with a hint of seriousness in his tone that wasn’t there before

yeonjun raises his eyebrows, frankly surprised "i was just going to say she's quite literally a big fan of not making friends,” he finishes instead, eyes wide.

taehyun intervenes swiftly, sensing the tension rising. "beomgyu," he began way softer that the other two, "i'm not doubting your feelings, but we kind of know y/n's reputation. she's known for being... distant, self-centered even. i just don't want to see you get hurt because you're too trusting."

taehyun's words struck a chord with beomgyu, but before he could respond, yeonjun chimed in, his voice filled with remorse. "he's right, gyu," he admits, a hint of regret on his tone. “and i'm sorry about before. but still, you need to be careful. y/n... people have tried to get close to her before, and it hasn't gone well."

beomgyu's heart sank at yeonjun's words with the weight of their implications settling heavily on him.

"look," he begins, "y/n is different, okay? she's not like anyone else i've ever met. and maybe i haven't been completely open about it because... because i know how you guys get. but i mean it when i say i’ve known her like other people haven’t. she is amazing”

there's a pause as beomgyu searches for the right words," she's nothing like that ‘ice queen’ corny, nonsense everyone is always talking about. I just wish you guys would give her a chance."

as the trio leave the place, beomgyu sips on his refilled boba. turns out they definitely don’t do refills, but of course the staff made an exception. “just for you,” they’d said.

he even got a new straw.

—

“and that’s my problem how?” you ask with straight expression.

the girl in front of you stumbles over her words, her voice quivering as she tries to play it off with a quiet laugh. "i-i’m not saying it's your problem," she began cautiously. "but, like, your signature could totally convince mr. yang to extend the due date. if we all get on board, he'd have to at least consider it. please?”

"no," you reply.

“what?" she blinks, caught off guard. "i mean, i’m sorry?" 

leaning back, taking a sip of your iced coffee, you return your gaze to your book. “you’re good,” you say in an almost nonchalant tone. "i’d just rather not be disturbed while i’m reading.”

"i'm not apologizing to you!" she snaps before taking a deep breath. "i just—why not? it literally doesn’t hurt you at all to sign? we really need your help y/n. it will even give you more time to finish your own stuff.”

"already finished it,” you say, not even making eye contact.

she lets out a surprised squeak, but recovers quickly.

"well, i guess that's cool for you," she mutters. " but we really need your signature or mr. yang won't even look at the petition.” 

nothing from your part.

mr. yang was a no-nonsense professor who smelled of tobacco and liked to look at everyone over his glasses as to remind you he is much more smarter than you. he hands out tough tasks, but always provides the necessary materials to complete them. though you weren't his favorite student, and he certainly wasn't your favorite teacher, you excelled in his class, meeting his high expectations. but you worked hard to get things done.

"look,” she tries one more time, “i know you're really smart, but some of us are really… struggling.“ she sighs sadly. ”it's taking forever to get through the text he sent, you know? if we all, like, come together and help each other out, we could totally make it happen. team effort. what do you say?"

once again she was met with silence.

"y/n?"

anna, the heroine in your book, seems genuinely tormented and you’re really starting to feel bad for her. if only she didn’t chose the red door. the blue door was the obvious right choice, but she decided to be adventurous. now, she will probably die. can vampires die? of course they can, you remember. for example, in twilight, you have to cut them in little pieces and-

"hello?! earth to y/n?" you hear a loud voice in front of your face.

you glance up. right, the ‘help us change the due date’ girl from your class. can’t really say you remember her name. 

“you're still here?" you ask flatly. can people get any more annoying? 

"oh my god, seriously?!" she practically yells this time. "i can't believe you're such a bitch!"

suddenly, and before things could escalate further, beomgyu steps in, appearing from around the hallway "whoa, why are we yelling" he asks, his guitar hanging on his shoulder. “what's going on?”

he could hear the shouting from a distance, but the details were lost to him.

on the other hand, you think beomgyu looks exceptionally good today. his dark, long hair framing his beautiful face, and eyes so deep and brown, pouty lips, you can not wait to get him alone…

"hey, beomie," you greet him with a smile. "nothing much. ready to leave?"

you've been waiting for him to finish his composition class. your own class got cut short, and you were ready to head home, but beomgyu insisted on spending the rest of the day with you, asking if you could wait for his class to end.

there's someone you can't say no to, and that's choi beomgyu, you've come to realize.

without waiting for an answer, you toss your book into your bag, grab your iced coffee, and take his hand, leading him towards the exit. your classmate watches you with wide eyes, speechless with incredulity. beomgyu glances back a little confused, offering her an apologetic smile and a quick wave as if to to smooth things over.

once outside, hand in hand, beomgyu asks carefully, "what was that?"

"oh, nothing at all,” you brush it off.

"she seemed mad," he remarks, and you stop in your tracks, making him stumble a little.

"did she? i didn't notice," you say, teasingly. "but i did notice i haven't kissed you yet."

with a playful glint in your eyes, you reach up and gently pull him down by the collar of his shirt, closing the distance between you as your lips meet in a slow, lingering kiss. beomgyu sighs contentedly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer.

"you're the sweetest," he whispers against your lips, screaming girls all forgotten.

—

“look at this video i took on saturday,” hao leans over the table to show a clip to beomgyu as they sit with a couple of his classmates at the uni cafe. beomgyu recognizes the place on the video as the han river, and the performers on the clip as a dance team yeonjun showed him before.

“oh, i know them!” he says with a big smile, “they’re sooo good. don’t you think they should be like performing on music videos or something?”

“they should,” hao agrees. “i’ve seen them on tiktok though, and they’re making really big numbers.”

“oh shit, yeah, me too! i keep telling y/n to come with me to see them whenever yeonjun tells me they have a showcase.”

this caught the attention of gina, a girl from his music production class “i’m sorry, but i still can't believe you're with her, gyu.” she remarks shaking his head incredulously. 

beomgyu looks up from his phone to give her a questioning look, “what?”

“ah, she’s right” hyunjin says next to them through bites of his ham sandwich, "i mean, she's smoking hot, but she's also a total ice queen."

beomgyu rolls his eyes. "not the high school nicknaming, please” he says irritated “she is not an ice anything, you calling her that is cringe. and i’ll have you know she is really sweet, actually.”

"sweet? seriously, beomgyu?" hyejin chimed in, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "every time i've tried talking to her, she acts like i don't even exist."

“sh-“

"yeah, and remember when she snapped at mark for accidentally bumping into her? it was like she thought she was too good to even say sorry."

“but-“ 

"and what about that time she ignored seungmin’s text asking for help with the assignment? she could have at least replied!”

beomgyu's heart sank as he listened to his friends.

“remember last week? what she did to lila? the stuff with the signatures? honestly, she is such a bitch sometimes…”

before beomgyu could respond, you happened to walk past their table, expression colder than usual. hearing only part of the conversation and misinterpreting it, you shot beomgyu a hurt look, assuming he was trash talking you, and quickly walked away without a word.

"great, now she thinks we're all talking behind her back," gina mutters with her eyes flicking nervously toward you as you walk off.

beomgyu stands up abruptly, “you know what? that’s exactly why she doesn’t get close to any of you,” he says, voice low but firm. “you all love to run your mouths, but when it comes down to it, you can’t even look at her in the eyes. don’t talk about her like that again. if i hear it once more, i swear i won’t just walk away.”

glaring at all of them, he turns sharply, striding out of the café without a word. outside, he quickens his pace, determined to catch up to you and make things right before it's too late.

—

the doorbell rings incessantly, echoing through the hallway as beomgyu refuses to give up. he followed you from the school building to your apartment, his apologies relentless, his determination evident in every step, but despite his efforts, you continued to ignore him.

now in front of your door, beomgyu knows he's pushing it, but the thought of you hating him now drives him crazy. with each ring of the doorbell, he feels a surge of desperation, making him want to rip all his hair out. 

ringing the bell and knocking on the door with urgency, he's fully aware that he's risking disturbing the neighbors, they may even call the police.

but beomgyu will risk going to jail for you, he thinks.

the door suddenly swings open with a sharp smack, and you're finally standing there "knock it off!" you yell with frustration evident in your voice.

despite you glaring at him, he’s just glad to see your face.

"i'm sorry," beomgyu blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. “but i am sorry you had to listen to that, not sorry because i was agreeing with them or anything, because i didn’t. i swear i didn’t. i was actually telling them how amazing and sweet you are- i always do, you know that. they’re not even my friends anymore! i ended things with them i let them know- oh fuck, i always talk about how perfect you are, how you’re the best person i’ve ever met in my life, and i'm just-god, i’m just so lucky to have you! you don’t understand, i need you to know that! i love you more than anything, and i don’t care what anyone else says, i don’t care what they think because you’ve always been nothing but good to me, and i’m not gonna let them make you think otherwise"

his words spill out in a jumbled mess, but the sincerity in his voice is unmistakable.

you stare at beomgyu, your expression neutral, as his words hang in the air between you. his eyes search yours desperately and, for a moment, he thinks he might have finally pushed you too far, that his rambling confession may have been a mistake.

but then, without warning, you break the tension with two simple words. "come in," you say.

relief floods beomgyu's features as he exhales a shaky breath, the weight lifting from his shoulders. without hesitation, he steps through the doorway, the sound of the door clicking shut behind him.

—

an hour or two passed and now beomgyu is sitting right in front of you, in your bed, with red cheeks in anticipation. 

“beomie, do you think i’m a bitch?” you ask with a teasing pout on your lips.

“no! no, no, no i don’t” he responds, looking up at you with puppy eyes, long lashes and a slight frown on his face

“correct,” you concede, putting his hair behind his ear softly “you were dying for me to even look at you, beomie, so i did. how can i be a bitch when i give all you the attention you so desperately beg from me?”

beomgyu exhales, clearing his throat to prevent himself for making any noise. you look down at him, his dark hair, indolent eyes and pouting lips. so pretty, just for you.

“answer me.” 

“you’re not, you are so good to me, you’re always so good to me.” he whines, but somehow his voice gets lower. aching to touch you, but keeping his hands on his side, just like he was told.

"that's right" you move down, slowly positioning yourself to straddle his lap. he feels the heat of your body against him, every movement making him burn with anticipation “i’m so good to you…” you concede as you tap him to lift his hips and reach out with confident fingers taking his pants off. you pause halfway, though. a teasing smirk playing on your lips. "but, do you deserve it, beomie?" you ask, your tone laced with mock concern.

beomgyu's breath escapes him in rapid bursts, too stunned to speak, but he knows better than not to answer you.

“no..” he chockes out “i don’t deserve it, don’t deserve you.”

“you’re right, you don’t deserve any of it,” you remind him, “good thing i’m so wonderful and sweet right?” you mock as you shove the rest of his pants down and underwear down in a quick motion. 

his cock comes up against his stomach, twitchy and veiny and your mouth is watering at the sight in front of you, wanting nothing more than for him to cum down your throat. but today is not the day.

beomgyu chews down hard on his lip and closes his eyes at the feeling of you liberating his length. he’s always been too sensitive, but with you he feels like it’s always the first time.

“open your eyes, beomie,” you tell him. “i want you to see and remember what you have to be grateful for.”

he opens his eyes in an instant just for him to watch you kneel down and slowly wrap your mouth around his tip. he sucks in a a hiss and let’s out a groan when you draw your lips with a light pressure down his cock until he hits the back of your throat, only to come back up and leave a trail of saliva along the way.

“fuuck,” he lets out with a trembling breath. “oh my god”

you put him on your mouth again and swirl your tongue around him, he hits the start of your throat once again and slide up and down, up and down. you wrapped your lips around his tip one more time before running the flat of your tongue up his cock slowly as you stare directly into his eyes,

beomgyu is a mess of flushed skin and teary eyes and can’t stop whimpering at the feeling and sight of you using your mouth on him, he swallows, throat dry and bites his bottom lip to prevent him from spluttering nonsense.

“i don- don’t know if i can- fuuuck- i- i can’t.. can’t hold it, fuck y/n , you’re so- so good to me-“ 

with his hands on your hair loosing himself to the feeling of your mouth on him, you can’t help but moan on his cock as you can already taste his pre-cum on your tongue, threatening to spill past your lips. you take you mouth off of him. “beomie, don’t cum yet-“ you say between licks, before spitting on him, lubricating and using your hand instead “- baby, hold it in, not yet.”

“i- i can’t, i can’t” he cries and you stop, his chest going up and down aggressively before lifting his face to look at you. lips red and shinny from biting hard and cheeks rosy from all the pleasure. you think he has never look this pretty.

he sits up trembling, looking at you you slide your drenched panties off. then you straddle his lap once again, looking at his red erection up and proud, tip right at your entrance, and without any warning, you take his cock in your hand go down on him inch by inch, his arms coming around your torso in desperation as you hold yourself up wrapping yours around his neck, holding each other so close you could feel eachother’s heartbeat.

you completely sink down on him and you both gasp, automatically making you clench around him.

“fuuck, baby” beomgyu hissed. his hands coming down to your waist to keep you in place, he’s afraid he would cum in a second if you moved an inch. “don’t move, please”

so, you raised your hips and you both let out a breathy moan as you sat back down again. he whines.

“you can do it beomie, hold it baby” you purr in his mouth. repeating the action again and again. “don’t you want me to fuck you?” 

“ye- yes please,- fuuuck yes” he cries, holding you close. always eager to please, he lets you do as you want. obeying you just in time for him to become a whimpering mess.

it was embarrassing, really, how affected he got in literal seconds. and you, with the sensation of having his cock filling you up, couldn’t help but use him like a toy.

“good boy,” you sing softly, breath hitching. “good, good boy. i knew you would let me use you like this. kne- knew you would like to make me happy. right beomie? because you love me? you want to- oh my god” you whine, bouncing up and down on him with urgency, felling him thus up to meet you halfway. “you want to make me feel good”

beomgyu feels like fire inside you, feeling you squeezing him so tight he feels himself closer and closer. he takes his hand from your waist to massage your breasts, knowing how sensitive your nipples are, making you sigh, earning him a kiss so lewd he’ll dream about it. “yes, thank you, please,” he cries, “i want- i want-“

“you can’t even talk beomie!” you chuckle dryly, “wh-what would your friends say if they saw you like this? huh?” you whispered on his mouth, the feeling so good its sending your blood rushing to your head as you keep fucking him stupid.

“their proud, confident beomgyu is just- fuck” you gasp at the feeling of his lips closing around your nipple, ”just a dirty slut? huh” you throw your head back to give him more access as you continue to bounce on his cock “ a begging little whore is what you are beomie”

he feels himself closer and closer, your dirty talking sending him over the edges he pleads, “just for you, i swear is just for you, i love you”

“good boy” you panted on his mouth again, feeling the sensation of your orgasm looming over your body and beomgyu was hit with the staggering force of his release as he came inside you, calling out your name in pleading gasps.

you blinked almost sleepily, looking down at your boyfriend and his post-fuck look, a small smile on his face as you leaned down to place a little kiss on his nose.

“love you too, pup.” you sighed.

—

not matcha, but not taro, either.

beomgyu feels like trying something new as he looks at the menu. the scent of sweet tapioca and freshly brewed tea surrounds you two and he thinks this is exactly what dreams are made of, yet deciding on just the right drink feels like an impossible task right this second.

so he scans the menu, his eyes flickering between the various options. yeonjun said their new horchata drink was good, but he doesn’t trust yeonjun’s taste.

“do you know what you’re ordering?” he asks you with big, round eyes. 

you can't help but notice how his eyes resemble tapioca pearls – "just iced coffee," you reply with a hint of amusement.

“right,” beomgyu chuckles, realizing he should have guessed as much.

suddenly, the girl behind the counter approaches you, her bright smile matching the cheery vibe of the boba shop. "hi there! can i help you?" she chirps.

beomgyu's attention shifts to her, “oh! yes yes, just a second” he responds, his eyes scanning the menu once more.

"well, our special today is the pina colada boba blast," the girl continues with a playful tone "it's sweet, refreshing, and i guarantee you it will leave you wanting more!”

beomgyu looks up, and before he could respond, you step forward, "we'll figure it out ourselves, thanks," you say curtly.

the girl's smile falters slightly. "o-okay, let me know if you need any help," she mumbles, retreating to the safety of the register.

"come on, babe, she was just doing her job," beomgyu says, chuckling a little and reaching for your hand. "but i think is time for me to finally admit… there's something kind of hot about you being mean."

you rolled your r eyes, but a small smirk tugged at the corners of your lips. you figured that much way before he did “i’m not being mean, beomie,” you still say, feigning ignorance “i truly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

beomgyu grins, feeling a surge of affection for the girl by his side. as they placed their order and settled into a cozy corner of the boba shop, he couldn't help but think how happy he was to have you, even if you did have a bit of a mean streak.

[trendywaifus]

TASTE OF THE MOON

01. LUTHER

lucy kushinada x gn! reader.

↳ “ even if we are worlds apart, we’re still together right now, staring up at the same sky and moon. “

cw: blood, character death, mentions of death, edgerunner spoilers, takes through ep 1-4, kinda tied with canon events, cursing, suggestive themes, reader is david’s sibling.

im gonna do a 1.5! will be adding it to the master list. first time writing a long ahh chapter like this i think. lmk how i did fr🙏🏽 i hope my characterization was good for the cyber punk lovers. prob still have mistakes I’ve glossed over tho but im fried off benadryl rn so

“ davi, you’re going out to do another errand? seriously? we just done a gig like yesterday! ”

“ yeah. i told you that i need the training. can’t sit around like this. “

the tan-skinned boy slips on the jacket your mother tragically left behind after she passed. now that he wears it everywhere as if it was the only article of clothing that he has, it feels like you’re force to see her everyday through him. it’s a cruel reminder of how fucked up night city is. having to see your mother struggle to take of you and david by herself without a father, working herself to the bone to ensure a stable future for you and him—only for her to get fatally injured during some random drive by and inevitably pass the next day because of capitalism nearly broke you. if david died along with her, you don’t know what you would’ve done. and, you weren’t even there with them during the tragic accident, you were home sick with a virus. gloria was originally supposed to pick up david early after getting a call from the academy because of an incident involving him using an unauthorized chip. you sat home alone for hours until david abruptly came home in the evening without your mother with his head hung low, and bandages all over.

you bombarded david with questions about gloria’s absence and his injuries. he was so dispirited that he barely wanted to talk. once you were able to get everything out of him, you instantly regretted asking. that night you didn’t sleep at all. you went out that night to walk aimlessly around and gained the habit of moon gazing. within the several days, everything was hell for you and david. one thing piled after another—collecting gloria’s ashes and her emt jacket, overdue rent, david finding a military grade-sandevistan she unknowingly left behind, he went from wanting to sell it to installing it in his body out of anger without even telling you. then, he got into a rematch with one of the sorry boys in the academy who happened to be the son of an arasaka board director. david ended up getting exiled and you haven’t been to the academy since the day you got sick. there’s no absolutely no reason to go there now that your mother was gone. you were on your last warning anyways for consecutively being in heated arguments with shitty classmates yourself. your only focus now is to make sure david is okay while living on the edge for survival.

“ alright, let me hop with you this time. “ you said, standing up from the couch, grabbing your black, leather jacket. david huffs, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“ (name), you don’t gotta come with me, you know. i can do this on my own. ‘don’t have to trouble yourself, i’ll be alright— “

“ shut up gonk, i’m comin’ with. i need ‘training ’ too, you know? “ you mocked his grumpy voice, he smacks his lips and waits for you by the door, impatiently tapping his foot. that boy is really dedicated in wanting to fit in. “ i’m followin’ you, give me the detes as we walk. “

—

cop sirens eerily echo in the distance as you and david tread cautiously along streets of vistal del rey, stepping over burned-out cigs, empty chip bags, and broken bottles. deteriorating building become more outdated as you venture deeper into the infamous district. the streets are less crowded, only a few civilians occasionally walking by; it’s nearly dead. you bet that if some gonk were to shout two streets away, it would reach your ears within seconds. crumbles of minerals fall to the ground as cars speed through the highway above. the stench of strong tobacco and other addictions nearly burns your nose. you never really been to vistal del rey or parts of heywood but you are aware of the strong grip that the valentinos has over these areas. gloria hammered down on teaching her children about the dangers of ruthless gangs. one of her lines that stuck to your brain like glue was —“there are never good endings to those who live their life on the edge, miho. ”. your mother was an emt who seen many tragic endings. being the oldest, she shared to you many stories of gang members who lost their life to gang violence. you growing up in arroyo, santo domingo, a shitty, district full of degenerates and poverty made you hyperaware of your surroundings for you and david’s sake by the age of ten.

and especially now since you’re apart of an edgerunner crew, your awareness has been razor sharp.

“ fucking pilar. did that bastard really send us here for one of his useless packages? you call this trainin’ david? you were better off with me teachin’ you how to fight good with that sandevistan of yours!” you whispered harshly, crossing your arms in frustration, digging your nails into the leather texture of your jacket. the younger boy merely grunts, surveying the area for a particular clue pilar given him about the meetup spot. “ we’re in the right area, he mentioned something about some alley and a tall, purple haired guy leaning against one of the oh—found him. .straight ahead. “ david lowly relays to you with the nudge of his elbow.

a suspicious man who looks to have shaggy, purple hair, was slouched against the wall, clad in black silicone pants, a light purple fitted t-shirt and black boots. compared to the dull, washed colors this area had, he was a anomaly. from the sound of your footsteps, he turns his head towards the direction of the source. his grey eyes coat into a sheen light blue as he scans the two of you from head to toe suspiciously. once you approached the guy and stopped a few meters away from him, he spoke with a thick, hispanic accent, “ the striped jacket boy. .david, yeah? “

“ yeah, that’s me. “

he turns his head to you, brow raised as he openly admires you with interest.

he casts you a flirtatious smile and your nose crunch up with disgust. “ thought that gonk said you’d be by yourself, choom. butt, i’m fine with this. the name’s rayez, who might you be cariño? “

before you can open your mouth, david surprises you by taking a step forward, seemingly positioning himself protectively in front of you. “ that’s my sib, we’re just here to pick up a package for pilar and go on our way. “ david explains firmly, throwing the man a pointed stare. the taller, fair-skinned man tilts his head to the side, bearing an intimidating expression on his face as he sizes the shorter boy up with his statue. they stay silent for a few, prolonged moments as they glare into each other’s eyes, not one moving a muscle.

rayez willingly surrenders, throwing his hands up with a friendly smile that’s clearly condescending. “ you got it. i don’t want no beef, kiddo. you just have a fine-lookin’ sibling, that’s all. “ he gestures his head towards the alley, “ behind me into the alleyway, i got the package in the trunk. “

david tries to follow the dealer but you abruptly stop him in his tracks by the sleeve. you noticed his arm slightly shaking—was david scared? “ wait davi. i don’t trust that, how about you bring the package to us? this area is dead as hell right now, there’s not a soul in sight.”

rayez narrows his eyes at you, a glint of annoyance swimming in them. you glared at him right back and once again, he relents, throwing you a relaxed grin. “ si, si, i understanddd. you lookin’ at me like that really gettin’ me nervous, cariño. i’ll go get it~ “ then he walks into the alleyway, disappearing behind the wall. you send each other nervous looks, silently agreeing that if rayez tries something you’ll be on alert to react. after a minute or two, there wasn’t any sounds of his supposed car turning on or his trunk opening and closing. the shaggy-haired man simply came back out with a brown package in his hands.

“ here ya go. “

like that, he plops it into david’s hands. your brother thanks him and just as you were about to leave, rayez inquires suddenly,

“ before you birds dip, what’s y’all’s last names? “

“ uh. . martinez? what’s it to you? “ david answers ‘nonchalantly’, but you can still hear the uncertainty behind his words.

the older man shrugs, glancing between you and david with a lazy smile.

“ the martinez siblings, huh? i can tell you, little man is the youngest, “ he points at david, “ and you’re the oldest. “ he points at you.

you click your tongue, “ again, what’s it to you? “

the corners of rayez’s gaze softens, he shrugs again, digs in his pocket and brought out a pack of cigarettes. “ nothin’. just observation, choomba. from the way you two have each other’s back, i can tell that all y’all got is each other. i respect that a lot. if it weren’t for you, that little man would of been zero’d in that alleyway by now. “

david spats, “ tch, bullshit, as if i’d—“

“ naive, but david’s smarter than you think. “ you snarled abruptly, “ i maybe the oldest, but my lil bro here is the special one. make no mistake, he wouldn’t of been ended so easily by the likes of you, cockmuncher. “

you grab the collar of your brother’s jacket, dragging him away from the grinning man. rayez brings the cancer rod to his pierced lips. “ i wonder, “ he takes out a lighter from his back pocket, flicks it open, and sparks a flame with practiced ease. the small flame is strong and unwavering, “ of how your stories will end. . . .together in a blaze of glory or. . “ he lights up the end of his cigarette and takes a long puff.

he close the lighter and tucks it back into his pocket.

“ or alone shrouded in smoke and chaos? “ rayez finishes, taking out the cig to blow a puff of smoke into the dead air. he turns back around into the alleyway, joining a group of armed men.

—

“ gotta tell bec to shoot her stupid ass brother for me. “ you spat, stomping along the asphalt, chest tight with anger. “ first he got us going to fuckin’ vista del rel for some shady bastard who deadfucking ass wanted to fuck me and literally fuck you over, and now we have to walk and take the train over to their crib to deliver this man his golden, cyberware dildo! “

david sighs, letting you rant while he thinks about your words to the dealer. considering that he had the sandevistan implanted in him without much complications and he’s able to use it several times in a day before getting fatigued with just a nose bleed, can he really cement the idea in his head that he’s special?

“ (name)? “

“ what davi? “

while the package is tucked under his armpit, he awkwardly rubs the back of his head with his free hand. “ what you said back there, is that true? that i’m special i mean. “

all your irritation instantly melts away; you crack into a grin, draping an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him into a clumsy side hug.

“ i mean, yeah. on top of that, you’re the smartest guy that i know. i believe in you. “

david bites down on his bottom lip, a lodge almost immediately forms in his dry throat. he swears that he hears gloria in you.

night city really is a cruel reality to live in.

—

while david stands awkwardly behind you, you angrily knocked on rebecca and pilar’s apartment door a few times. it only took a half second for the door to swing open and for a barrel to kiss you right on your forehead. “ explain why the fuck you’re—oh, (name) and david! what’s up chooms? wow, (name), you looked pissed! ” rebecca whistles, drawing back her pistol as she stands at the doorway only in her black bra and underwear.

“ bec, call for your son of a bitch of a brother, please.”you requested calmly, barely holding back your raging anger while presenting her the package in your hands.

glancing down at your quivering hands, she grins with anticipation, practically hearing the anger bubbling in your voice, and whips her head around to call her brother who’s too busy doing his own shit in the back of the apartment.

“ yo bro! (name) and david got your package from maine again! come n’ get it! “

as soon as you hear pilar’s excited, crazed laughter and seeing him skipping around the corner to retrieve his package, you hurled the thing straight at his face without any regards. before he had time to react, it hits him right where you want him and he falls back against the wall.

“ aw, fuck! the fuck was that for, you crazy gonk?! “

“ fuck you, you lanky armed bastard! get your own package next time! i hope you enjoy that new golden dildo up your ass! “ you spat, sharply turning on your heel to stomp away. the sounds of rebecca’s loud laughter fills the crispy, lively air.

“ davi! make sure you get our tip from bec. i’ll be over there to take a chill pill! “ you shouted, brushing past david to go stand by the pole near the entrance of the complex. you fix the collar of your leather jacket and crossed your arms tightly against your chest. shitheads like pilar pisses you off, they’re so common amongst santo domingo and the academy. those type of people who’d get what they want from you, completely fuck you over and laugh in your face like you’re the biggest gonk in night city. your temper and patience dwindled as years passed by, developing a short temper.

“ heyo, “ lucy’s smooth voice rings though your receptor suddenly, earning a exasperated grunt from you. “ you and david gonna be free tonight to run? “

“ yo. yes lucy, sure will be. “ you replied more annoyed than you wanted to be. there’s a small pause on the other end and lucy hums before speaking up,

“ you sound upset. wrong timing? “

you glance over towards david’s direction, he’s currently still talking to rebecca for the tip. you let out a short sigh that’s meant to cool off some steam. “ yes and no. it wasn’t directed at you or anything, me and david was just doing some shitty errand. “

“ oh fun. i’ll leave you both to it then, see you later. “

she ends the call and you just slouch against the sign, looking up at the yellowish, blue sky. the sun is starting to set and the moon’s slowly becoming visible by the hour. lucy was a strange character—an enigma who holds pieces of herself behind her back. she’d give you broken shards and hide the rest away, leaving you to figure out the ones in your hands. your first impression of her was already rocky since she tried to steal your chip. thanks to david catching her in the act with his sandev, she didn’t. but, one thing led to another and you ended up witnessing two deviants stealing shit for some eddies. not wanting to be involved, you got off the train early. you really wish that you didn’t because david exhausted himself trying to impress her by using his sandevistan too much which caused lucy to call an ambulance for the stupid boy. lucy explained that during the ride to the hospital, the emt deliberately missed the turn to the location, pulled a gun on her and david while he was on the carrier, and revealed herself to be a scav who wanted his sandev.

what lucy did made your jaw slack all the way down to the ground. not only did she endanger david, but also herself by releasing the carrier from the ambulance, throwing themselves into highway traffic and hazardously maneuvered it around in reverse, avoiding speeding cars while having a absolute blast. although you were thankful of her for saving david, you couldn’t help but think of her as a nutjob—but a cool one. you met up with them at docs for david’s treatment and made sure to chew him out for overusing his sandev.

“ you two wanna come over my place? “

her sudden question made you look at her like she was crazy and david reluctantly just accepts the invitation. you can tell your brother was intrigued by her and honestly, you don’t blame him after she risked her life (and his!) to save him. not to mention, lucy was a sight for sore eyes herself—a pretty lady with a nice amount of sense (still a nutjob!) that others in night city lacked. however, you knew better than to wholly trust her when you only knew her for half a day.

upon you, david, and lucy entering inside of her home, your eyes locked onto a large, rectangular window in her apartment with a perfect view of the moon nestled in the night sky. after settling down with the netrunner, you learned about her common interest in the moon both from the poster on her wall and through chatting. just like you, she had the habit an interest in staring at the moon to fill the void in her heart, just like you, she wanted to get away from the clenched jaws of night city. but unlike you, who had your mother’s crumbling dreams floating through the skies of a shithole of a city and david to look after; lucy has no ties other than the crew she’s with. who knows how much they really mean to her. maybe if given the chance to, she’d probably run away.

your guard around her dwindled as the conversation continued. it completely dissipated when she introduced you to a brain dance of a reconstruction of the moon which strengthened your dream to travel to the moon. the moon simulation felt so real, the sun’s warmth kissing your skin, its shine nearly blinding you as if it actually could. your body was light so the first you did was jump and float around, feeling free. lucy would laugh fondly at your childlike discoveries throughout your time with her. she showed you so many things, made you feel so many emotions during that short time with her. after a fun while, you and lucy sat down to gaze at the fake earth ahead, full of joy and satisfaction.

“ i never showed anyone this before. i. .had fun. “

breaking your attention from the earth, you turned your head, and you became speechless. painted rosy lips curled into a soft, warm smile, her pastel eyes twinkled at you, holding a unreadable emotion you couldn’t decipher. all you knew was the feeling of awe and soon after, a sharp pain to your cheek, forcefully taking you out of the bd.

you grit your teeth at the remembrance of the interrogation with maine and his crew. at the time, getting pressed by a group of edgerunners and feeling utterly betrayed by a stranger you almost trusted nearly made you throw a fit. however, you held back the anger, almost like holding back the most shittiest urge to vomit while standing in public. you didn’t want to get you and david into deeper shit. the boy himself almost got his sandev ripped from his body if he didn’t impress maine with his rare, high usage of the military grade implant.

—

“ yo, (n/n), i got the tip. you nova now? “ david asks, joining your side, pulling you out of your thoughts.

pushing yourself from the metal rod, you lazily stretched your arms above your head. “ when we leave this place, yup. also, lucy called. told her that we’re gonna be free to run with her tonight. “

the boy awkwardly scratches the back of his head, his facial expression brightening from the mention of her name. you notice and simply started to walk; david follows after. “ preem. i’ve need to get some more training in. “

“ and with lucy, the girl who saved your live and almost ended ours together by snitchin’. “ you grumble, crossing your arms back over your chest. david lets out a soft sigh, tucking his hands in his jacket pockets.

“ i was starting to get over that. not really that mad like before though. “

“ when i think bout it, i can’t help but to. normally i don’t get my shit tangled up like this, but i don’t exactly like getting hung up by my ankle with a black eye after getting taken to the moon by a girlie who likes to be spontaneous on the first day. .” somewhere in the back of your mind, you don’t really blame her.

cars occasionally rode past as you and david stroll down the streets of watson. the district wasn’t much different than heywood, vistal del rey, and santo domingo. it used to be an area once full of life, bubbling with lively biz—now it’s sour with gang violence much like the corners of night city. maelstrom and tiger claws are the cause as they ruin everything they touch, greedy and terrible, just like corpo rats. they’re so territorial that they’re fighting each other over parts of the district. many tragic endings of innocents are caused by them, families separated, and young, impressionable adolescents left to make series of bad choices that’ll have them leave the earth as one of many statistics in night city.

“ yeah, maine and them came barging in while you and lucy was in the brain dance. caught me by surprise and before i knew it, maine decked me in the face. hurt like a bitch too. “ the younger sibling clicks his tongue, lazily kicking away an empty can of beer without a single thought.

“ trust me, i know. fuck, that black eye lasted for a good min, didn’t it? i swear one day i’ll get my lick back. and lucy definitely owes me an apology. double too. “ you ghost your hand over your port on the side of your neck where the netrunner discreetly implanted the tracker in. the audacity for maine to warn you and david to not run away—like, where the fuck to? david remained quiet up until you reached the metrostation with him. you paid for his ticket and yours with ease. luckily the train hasn’t arrived yet and not many people were around so you sat down on a bench while david stood beside it.

“ . .why didn’t you tell me your dream was to go to the moon? “ david spoke out, breaking the silence, his still gaze was fixated somewhere off in the distance.

you leaned back into the bench, looking up at the sky that’s now turning into a dark purple. “ because it’s a wish. a wish for the most part is just wishy washy thinking. besides, in this city, no dream can become true unless there’s a sacrifice or if you’re a corpo rat.”

“ was our ma’s dream for us to be at the top of the arasaka’s tower ‘wishy washy’ too? “ his voice quivered, you don’t know if it was out of anger or sadness. perhaps both.

letting out a long exhale, you just shrugged. was her dream wishy washy? ideally no, realistically yes. unless you dedicated half of your life to kissing corpo ass while losing yourself in the process, there is absolutely no way to even achieve such a dream as poor, santo domingo babies. but, that was gloria’s dream and even if it was a fairytale, you and david tried anyway to make your mother happy.

“ you know, if she were to say, i want my children to be the most influential peeps in night city! “ you made an attempt to copy gloria’s accent jokingly, david cracks a small smile. “ that may sound like the most ridiculous dream ever coming from our backgrounds but since we love our mother so much—we’d do our best to make it come true anyways. .no matter how impossible it may be. but to answer your question, bro. .yes and. . no if it came with a sacrifice.”

the tone of your voice goes grim, the sinking feeling in your chest heavies down on your heart. david swallows thickly, his fists tightens in his pockets, a bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face.

“ what kind? “ david replies tentatively, glancing down at you with a nervous look.

“ losing yourself. arasaka is full of rotten characters, you can’t go at the top if you’re just your authentic self, you know. “

the screeching sound of the incoming train hits your ears and you stand up, watching the transport timely arrive at the station. you stroll over to the train and stepped inside once the doors opened with david following along. “ i refuse to lose myself and be seen as those toe-lickin’ losers. you experienced the way they treated those who weren’t like them in the academy. i can’t believe we had to put up with those suckers, “ you grunted, finding a seat next to the door and plopped down. “ be good, don’t let them get to you, blah blah—. .oh mother. if it wasn’t for her, i would of been the one to get exiled first. would of loved to kicked the shit out of that one cockroach who did nothing but patronized me for the smallest shit. but, it made me feel better that you sucker punched that asshole who knocked you on your feet. i still don’t approve of you implanting that sandev behind my back and using it right after though. “

david shrugs, taking his hand out of his pocket to grasp one of the bars to hold onto as the train departs after the passengers aboard. he looks out through the window, eyes trained on the arasaka tower in the far distance. he begins to tap his right foot. “ had no choice. was out of options and couldn’t let that bastard go after he talked shit about you and our ma’s death. can you honestly blame me? you would of done the same, right? ” david’s grip on the metal bar tightens; the corner of his caramel eyes sharpens. the leftover anger slowly rises up his throat as if it was a lanky hand.

without a second thought, you instantly responded back darkly, hands clenched into a tight ball—so tight that your nails was starting to create crescents into your skin. “ i would of done much worse to him. “

you zipped up your hoodie all the way to your neck, shivering from the cold air nibbling at the areas of your exposed skin. why the hell does it feel like it’s 50 degrees tonight?

“ looks like you should of brought a bigger jacket tonight. ” lucy commented, humor hinted behind the rasp of her voice. she stands at the edge of the dock, throwing you a side glance. like the last few fridays and mondays you and david been jogging with her, she wore the same neon and pink-colored tracksuit that complimented her figure perfectly. you hate the fact that you have to rip your gaze away from her figure to respond to her properly.

“ i’m good, choomba. i’ll warm up once we start. david, you ready? “

“ yeah. “ david answers, taking his hands out of his pockets besides you.

lucy takes it upon herself to start the jog, getting a head start past you and david. you trail behind her and the younger boy does the same. usually the jogs last about twenty minutes, just a few laps that ends with you wanting a hot shower and a feeling of satisfaction after a long day of bullshit. cardio helps clear your mind.

“ you not gonna talk to her? “ david whispers to you, maintaining a moderate speed. you raise a brow, still looking ahead, more so at lucy’s back.

“ why should i? continue to talk to her like you have been for the past nights we’ve been running together, davi. “

“ think you should on this one ‘cus how else do you want her to apologize to you if you’re acting like you’re not interested in talkin’ to her? “

you snorted, “ huh. all of a sudden you’re the relationship expert, is that right? “

david clicks his tongue, “ fuck off. i’m tryin’ to help you out. the way you’re oglin’ her makes you look like a loser. “

“ fuckin’ rich comin’ from you. “ you blurted out, rolling your eyes. he let out a grunt and nudges your arm with his elbow.

“ go, you gonk. “

letting out a deep sigh, you sped up just enough to catch up to lucy, matching the same pace as her. clearing your throat, you open your mouth to awkwardly speak, “ so. . lucy, it’s been a minute since we’ve chatted it up. “

“ mhm. it has. “ she responds back blandly, not sparing you a glance. yup, her walls are definitely and rightfully up.

“ how have you been holding up since our last gig yesterday? “

“ pretty nova. can’t really say much since the gig was like any other gig i’m use to. . how about you, newbie? “

you scoffed, “ hey, it’s only been. .like four weeks! don’t call me that, geez. but i can say nova too. the gigs are something i can get used to. it’s gonna be a pain in my ass to watch over that boy behind us too.”

“ hey, i can still hear you! “ david shouts in the distance, lagging behind as his feet began to burn.

“ how about you focus on catching up, short legs!” you half-shouted and laughed, throwing a quick middle finger at him. since you’re like two inches taller than him along with having good stamina from running around in the streets of santo domingo a little longer than david, it was pretty easy to outrun him. but now that he has a sandevistan, you hate to admit that he can compete with you if he used it.

“ you should worry a little more about yourself too.” lucy suggests, barely out of breath as she counts the second lap in her head.

“ huh? “

“ you’re the same as david in terms of experience. actually, if shit were to truly go down, he would have a better chance at surviving cus’ of the sandev he has. you don’t have any implants that can give you an advantage over a punk one on one. “

you hum at her criticism, beads of sweat dripping down your chin. adrenaline rushes into your veins, pumping you with natural energy to continue your jogging. however, you’re beginning to get tired and you’re starting to become slow, yet, you don’t stop. “ that’s true lucy. m‘not even mad at that. gonna make somethin’ work in the future so i won’t be a deadweight to you and the others. wanna protect david too cus’ he’s all i have. “

the older girl stays silent for a few moments, allowing your soft huffs and puffs to take over the silence to think about her next response. the question that sat on her tongue for the past few weeks runs off and slips through her lips.

“ is that what makes you serious about edgerunning?”

“ definitely. “ you say with full confidence.

she gives you a little look from the corner of her eye and stops abruptly. you stop too and hunched over to catch your breath. you think you’re on your third lap now without stopping? you and lucy are still in the area around the shore post. david is no where to be found but you know he isn’t far away. he won’t get lost if he keeps running straight.

“ what’s wrong—“

“ here. full training regimen. for you and david. you two are on your own after today. won’t hold your hands anymore. “ lucy hands you a chip and you examine it in your palm. she continues, “ if you’re serious about this, you’re gonna need to keep up. and then. .”

you lift your confused gaze at her and she stares back with a neutral expression. what is she thinking right now? “ and then. .? “

you blink several times as she simply turns on her heel and jogs off ahead, not even attempting to finish her prep talk.

“ that’s a start. . “ you mumbled, turning your head to the direction you and lucy previously ran from and saw david finally catching up. you cast him a proud smile, waving at him as he runs up, breathless.

“ wh-where’s lucy? “

“ she went on ahead. she gave us a little parting gift, i’ll tell you what happened on our way back home. “

—

“ your punches are lacking today! what’s the problem, kid? “ dorio inquiries with concern, steadying the heavy punching bag in place before stepping over to you. running a hand through your (h/c) hair, you just sighed dejectedly. lately, you been thinking about lucy and it’s starting to become pathetic. you want to understand her. you want a answer on why she really showed you the brain dance of the moon. was it to just stall? did she truly deceive you? how much was it real? fake? was her wondrous laughter and pretty smiles genuine?

“ sorry, just been thinking, that’s all, ‘rio. “

she swings an arm around your shoulders firmly, “ well, spill it. i’m here to talk with ya. “ the encouraging smile on her face made your guard loosen.

“ i’ve. . .been thinkin’ about lucy. “

“ figured so. “

“ huh? “ you whipped your head up at the much taller and older woman with a surprised expression. she just continues to smile, this time, knowingly. “ maine had a talk with david yesterday and he told me all about what’s going on between you and lucy. i gotta say, a date to the moon? even that didn’t happen for me and maine on our first date! it was just full of cracking’ heads and thrill! “

your nose scrunched up, “ aw fuck, you and maine? ew—“ she ruffles your head roughly and bellows out a laugh.

“ ah, shut up! anyways, what’s got you thinkin’ about her? still upset that she turned you and david over to us after the date? “

you nod your head, shifting your gaze down at your feet, “ yeah. jus’ wanna know if everything was real or fake. dunno what to really do. “

“ hmm, i see. well, after the biz tomorrow, how about you try to talk to her. it’s about damn time you suckers chat it out. you’re just like your lil bro, mopin’ around n killin’ the vibe. cheer up. i bet if you stop draggin’ your feet like that and brighten up that pretty face of yours, he would too. “

you sighed, fixing up your tousled hair as the experienced merc backs off. “ i guess. but hey ‘rio, gotta question. “

“ lay it on me. “

“ how long has lucy been a edgerunner? “

a pensive look dawns on dorio’s features as she thinks, resting a finger under her chin. “ mm, maybe bout a year so? kiwi took her in and the rest was history. before all of that, i dunno much about lucy. so far, she’s been pullin’ her own weight in the crew so that’s all that matters. anyways, i gotta delta. gonna go meet with maine to discuss detes about tomorrow, see ya kid. “

dorio leaves you alone to your thoughts. you exhale through your nose and went over to the skinny, tall table to turn on the radio. using the knob, you glossed over radio channels until it was a certain channel that you usually listen to— 98.7, body heat radio. you tune the volume just enough for you to vibe. dragging your feet over to the couch, you plant your butt on the down on the cushion. you leaned back against the head and closed your eyes.

“ you are now listening to chest pain by malcom todd. “

my chest is hurting, my feet can’t fall out of bed

i don't know where to go, so I'll lay here instead

with my symptoms, symptoms of sorrow and dread

they all said it would fade but again and again

suddenly, the sound of an incoming call rings through your reception and you groan out loudly in irritation. peeling one eye open, you’re surprised to see the principal of your former academy calling you. “ the fuck is this. . “

i loveee, i loveeee

i love, i love, i love,

you accepted the call.

“ hello, good evening, (name). how are you—“

i loveee, i loveeee

“ cut the crap, what is it? should there be a reason why you’re calling me when i—no, me and david, left the academy weeks ago? “

“ a-ah, sorry for bothering you. i. .in fact reached out to your brother and he abruptly hanged up while i was trying to explain to him—“

you snorted, “ oh, is that so? i’ll do the same then. go burn in hell, we will never go back to that stuck-up academy. maybe treat your poor students better. our mom technically died ‘cus of you, shitface. “

without an ounce of guilt, you ended the call, leaving behind a bubbling sense of triumph. did that man take you for a fool? there’s no way he would call you without an ulterior motive.

phonk music blasts loud in your ears as people danced off on the dance floor, drunk and possibly high off their asses. you ran your fingers through your hair, occasionally sipping on a carbonated drink that’s been shoved into your hand by rebecca. you’re not the one to party, you’ve discovered that after being brought to afterlife for the first time a few weeks ago. the stench of the night city’s most wasted characters made your nose roll up with disgust. strangers grinding and rutting up against each other; the club life wasn’t for you.

“ wassup, cutie! whaddaya doin’ sittin’ here by yaself? ” rebecca plops down onto the booth beside you, beer in hand. her petite frame flush against your side, not caring about personal space. since it’s rebecca, you don’t really care. you grew to like her quite a bit, she’s straightforward and honest, something you don’t really see much in night city. rebecca is really fun to hang with, the type to put a smile on your face whenever you’re upset.

“ hey bec, just chillin’ here. don’t really like partyin’ all that much. “

“ aww, that’s too bad! “ she takes a long swig of her beer before she continues, “ choom, you should of seen the way your bro was dancin’! it gotta be the funniest shit i’ve ever seen! “

you break into laughter at the imagine of david trying to show off by performing horrible dance moves. you’re not good at dancing either but you knew better than to embarrass yourself. “ that dumbass. i guess we gotta let him have it since the gig went well, yeah? “

“ oh fasure’! now it got me wonderin’ about what’s your groove like! ” she nudges your arm with hers, giving you a cheeky smirk. you playfully roll your eyes, “ is this your way of asking me to dance with you, ‘bec? “

exhilarated and tipsy, she immediately responds back with, “ hell yeah! c’mon, let’s get on the dance floor! “

“ jus’ kidding, girl. i think i’ll sit here and drink until it’s time for us to go. “

“ ugh, i’ll let you slide this time, only cus i like ya! “

you chuckled, swirling the carbonated drink around, its contents swooshes around in the glass bottle. “ i’m honored, choom. “

the pout on her purple, painted lips goes unnoticed by you.

a question pops into your head and your smile falters. “ hey bec. “

“ what’s up, choom? “ she leans into you, taking note of your expression changing into a small frown.

“ what’s it like to have pilaf as your bro? “

she immediately scoffs, crossing her legs, and leans back into the couch. “ like shit. he’s the absolute fuckin’ worst. the biggest dickhead ever. “

you raise your brow, the single side of your lips curling upward at the distasteful insults towards her brother.

“ but at the end of the day, he’s my bro. all i have is him and all he has is me. but, if the day were to come for him to he gets zero’d, i want it to be by me. “

“ why? “

“ cus’ i rather for it to be me than some lowlife gonk. ”

you hum before taking the last swig of the drink and set it down on the table in front of you. “ fucked up but i get it. .yet, if i had the choice to zero david, i’d blow my brains out. don’t have the heart to do it to my own brother. . “

she pats you on the back before rubbing it through your graphic shirt. “ and that’s okay, choom, “ you look at her and you’re met with a honeyed, easy smile that’s only reserved for a selective few and meant to plug the doubts pooling from the pores of your skin as it seeps through your troubled expression. “ you’re not s’pose to anyways, don’t let this damned city tell you otherwise. my case is just special for me and my bro. “

you can’t help but smile back at rebecca with warm appreciation.

“ thank you bec. “

“ anything to see ya pretty smile, dimps! “

after chatting with rebecca, you decided to get up to go to the restroom. you dread going to the public restrooms in clubs you’ve recently been to after gigs, because you’re guaranteed to see some drunkie puking their guts out in the next stall over. god, the strong smell of vomit and vodka makes you wanna hurl too. on the way there, you pass by the bar, catching a glimpse of lucy sitting by herself. she looks distant and uninterested in the energy around her as she quietly smokes to herself. maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hold your bladder for a bit to provide her some company. before you can even step into the netrunner’s direction, pilar beats you to her out of no where. he hops onto an empty stool beside her—not considering her personal space as he swings a lanky arm around her shoulders.

your teeth digs into your fleshy bottom lip from the irritating sight of that gonk trying to flirt with her. pilar gets touchy with her at every chance he fucking gets. doesn’t he get that lucy clearly doesn’t fuck with him? she even fried him a few times for being all grabby.

“ tch, “ you force your eyes away from them and back to what’s ahead of you. the tightness of your chest might get worse if you continue to hear that fucker pilar’s obnoxious laughter and his failed attempts of trying to impress lucy.

“ what’s with that face, sweetness? “

a brunette woman who looks to be in her mid-late twenties smoothly gives you a side hug, casting you a flirtatious smile. she smells of vanilla and alcohol.

“ sorry, that’s nun of your biz. i was on my way to the restroom. “ you answered back dryly, attempting to brush her off and she holds on a little tighter in response. growing bashful under her now seductive gaze and increasingly annoyed at a stranger hugging you without your consent, you smack your lips.

“ is that so? maybe. . afterwards, “ she leans in closer to your face and you uncomfortably tilt your head away. “ we can cool that heat off your face, it doesn’t fit you~ “ she purrs.

your brows knit together in agitation, without thinking twice, you shove her off your body. she nearly stumbles into another stranger.

“ christ, you know nothing about me. don’t you tell me what fits me. “ you snarled as you brushed passed her, disregarding the offended look on her face. the audacity. “ go find some other gonk who actually wants to be blowed by some stranger in here. “

you stomped off to the back for the restroom. in the back of your mind, you knew that you mostly overreacted and let your previous frustrations out on her. but did you regret it? no.

unbeknownst to you, a pair of sharp pastel eyes observed the whole interaction.

“ woah, hey there, partner! “ a familiar southern voice calls out as you unexpectedly bump into his body after exiting the shitty restroom too quickly. you grunted, one second away from snapping on the man for the collision but you stopped once you’ve recognized him.

“ falco? watch where you going, choomba. i almost fell on my ass! “

“ likewise, kiddo! sheesh, “ he combs his fingers through his maintained hair. “ don’t think i seen ya with the crew. david is quite the trickster when he’s all loosened up. “

“ i heard from bec. i was just drinking in another booth with her. not really used to parties. davi is quite the pleaser so you’ll see that more times than not. glad he’s having fun though. “

falco chuckles huskily, “ oh, i get it. i woulda figured you’re not a people person too with that short fuse of yours. “

“ oh, fuck you. i’m not short-tempered! after what i’ve gone through, i just despise how night city serves me bullshit in a sliver plate. “ you crossed your arms, tapping your foot subconsciously. falco looks down at your foot tapping, your arms tucked tightly to your chest, and lastly, the frown on your lips.

his thick brows raises. all telltale signs with those who has short patience. though, the foot tapping habit is something he’s noticed between you and david. you both do it out of anxiety. he signs heavily, stepping aside the doorway to the restrooms and leaned against the tile wall. “ listen, (name). word of advice from a older folk like myself. i heard about what happened to you and the boy’s mother and my condolences. i don’t know much about your stories before that, but, don’t let your anger get the best of you. i tell that to rebecca because she herself is quite similar to you when it comes to short fuses. although, i can say she’s more mature since she’s been in the game for a hot minute and is familiar with the ins and outs of night city. the more you let shit get to you while walkin’ on the edge, the quicker and harder you fall. “

you stay quiet, soaking in his speech word by word. so far, you gotten a few cuts and nasty bruises from picking fights during negotiations in recent gigs because of the shady insults and sneaky looks thrown your way. things probably would of been smoother for you had you swallowed up your anger and let things play out differently. it wasn’t like you’re still in the academy and only getting written up for disobedience. this time, the consequences are colorful while running on the edge; a barrel of a gun pressed ever so lovingly against your forehead, sprawled out unconscious or dead in some landfill, or a unrecognizable face at the hands of some chrome’d up punk.

“ . . .i understand falco. i’ll try to keep that in mind.”you relented, hands dropping at your side and your body posture slowly relaxing. a long puff of air runs past your lips.

he merely grins at you, placing a palm on your shoulder and pats it proudly. “ good. ‘member, if you’re ever stuck in a pitch, don’t forget to holler. i’m gonna go inside of here. the crew is going to be leavin’ in a few, tell em’ i’ll be out after i’m done. “

you nod with a small smile and he cruises past you to enter inside the restroom.

returning back to the front, you only see david and lucy standing in front of the bar. although lucy was the first to quietly notice you walking up, david acknowledges you with a half wave.

“ yo, you catch falco? we were waiting on you and falco. he’s our ride back. the crew’s gonna delta soon, they’re outside. “

“ in the back taking a piss. give him a few. i’m gonna go tell the others before—“

“ nah, i got it first. “ david chimes, already pacing towards the only exit to alert the others. before he runs off, he sends you a sneaky grin.

“ that boy. . “ you groaned.

“ mm, that boy indeed. “ lucy rasps, crossing her arms over her chest, looking seemingly bored. you feel a little discouraged by her closed-off body language.

“ we might as well go after him. falco’s gonna be out any sec now. “

“ good idea. “

you glanced at her, a single brow curled. was that sarcasm?

walking after the chocolate-haired boy who’s most likely already alerted the others and is waiting with them by the ride, you make an attempt to spark up a conversation.

“ what are you going to be doing tonight, lucy? “ you inquired, awkwardly tucking your hands into your washed jean pockets.

“ nothing important. I’ll prob just go home and sleep early for tomorrow’s gig. “

“ yeah? “

“ mhm. “

you nearly cringe at how awkward you’re making this. it’s not helping that lucy isn’t even feeling you like that. the seasoned edgerunner side eyes you as you release a soft, frustrated sigh.

“ lucy. .after this gig tomorrow, i want to—no, sorry, can we talk? that’s if you’re comfortable. “

a short pause briefly sits in-between you and her.

“ . . sure. “ lucy says softly, cool air tinged with strong tobacco welcomes you and the aforementioned girl as you exited lizzie’s bar to join the others.

—

“ you’re not gonna tell me how was it? “ david spoke out, lounging on the couch shirtless. empty spray cans and paper with symbol designs are scattered about all over the coffee table. you stood by the window, gazing up at the moon solemnly. for the past hour he’s been designing a symbol to represent he’s an edgerunner on the back of his jacket. you’re not really creative like him and you rather not ruin your favorite leather jacket by some cheap spray paint. the leather jacket was gifted to you by gloria on your nineteenth birthday.

“ how was what? “

“ you and lucy. “

you just shrug, fighting the urge to not cringe at the flashbacks from earlier.

“ pretty nova. gonna get a chat in with her after tomorrow’s gig. hopefully we can comb things out. “

“ that’s preem! make sure to bring up the brain dance and how you feel about her too. “

you chuckled, “ oh i will, wingboy. “

“ fuck that, you mean wingman. “

“ okay, bird chest. “

“ fuck you! “

you rolled your eyes and waved him off, walking over to your room.

“ yeah whatever. good night, davi. make sure to clean up that mess after your done. don’t wanna ruin the new apartment we’ve just moved into after combining our hard earned eddies. “

the apartment wasn’t much different from the last. just a different mega building to avoid the shitty landlord gloria had to deal with and to have a proper two bed apartment. at least your current one was more understanding.

“ yeah, i know. g’night. “

—

the gig was short n’ sweet. the objective was to neutralize a shady business owner in 5th street, watson, kabuki who’s made under the table deals with maelstrom. although, you and david didn’t really kill anyone, you did happen to find the owner in the secret basement—who in fact was a raging, middle-aged japanese man you had to pistol whip the fuck out for trying to be bold while he was actively cornered by you and david.

david was quick to comm the location of the man to kiwi. within a minute, maine and dorio arrived, guns pointed on him. the man was flatlined before he can utter a string of curse words out.

“ geez, nothing beats going to a bar after a gig. “ you stretched your arms out in the air, dragging your feet across the asphalt, and walking side by side with your crew in northside, watson.

“ since when did you enjoy bars? yesterday night, it looked like you didn’t want to be there. “ kiwi mentions, skeptical about your sudden change of heart.

maine added in, “ kiwi’s right about that. your little ass wasn’t with us, i think i seen ya somewhere in a different booth tryna be all mysterious n’ shit. why ya flippin’ the switch now? “

you rubbed the back of your head sheepishly, “ i just want to loosen up for a change. y’know, be different?”

“ yeah, you sure was! “ pilar jibes with a mocking grin, “ i showed this gonk one of the most vanilla braindances that bar offered—two seconds in, they got all flustered and pussied out over a pair of tits! even your lil bro handled it better than you! “

your face heats up with embarrassment at the sounds of laughter from other crewmates. “ shut the hell up, cockface, it’s not like i see pairs of tits enough to get desensitized from it! “

“ i’m surprised. i thought you would be considering your looks. “ kiwi chuckles, “ maybe it’s the tantrums? “

“ i do not have tantrums! davi, back me up! “

david gives you a lop-sided grin and shrugs, enjoying the bonding time he’s having with his new family.

“ i can’t say you do, can’t say you don’t. “

“ fuckin’ bastard—“

“ hey, what’s that sound? “

everyone goes quiet. the consistent noise of liquid splashing against a metal container hits your ears and your head turns to the source of it. there’s a raggedy homeless man standing ontop of the red crate, pissing.

“ aye, quiet down! “ pilar demands, breaking the uncomfortable silence as he stomps his feet.

“ you pissin’ up there? “

“ ugh. “

“ ew, gross. “

“ but why though. . “ you mumbled in utter disgust.

pilar gets aggravated at the man for ignoring him and bangs his golden, bawled up fist against the crate.

thump! thump!

“ i’m talkin’ to you! why you pissin’ up there like that?!”

thump!

“ that’s enough pilar, leave him alone. “

“ buh bye, bro. “

everyone but david walks forward, leaving pilar to confront the man while the young edgerunner watches in a mix of interest and shock. you don’t realize david stopped walking until moments later, a loud bang pierces through the atmosphere.

pilar’s nagging abruptly stopped and splatters of blood lands on your jacket.

everything happened so quick, you yelling at your brother to move while sprinting for some cover with the others, maine screaming in david’s face to move while he’s frozen in one place.

“ it’s a cyberpsycho! “

the announced cyberpsycho readies his projectile launcher system at the two who’s still out in the open and fires. maine roughly kicks the stunned david out of the way just in time for the explosive to narrowly miss them.

“ that crazed bum flatline’d pilar! “ you yelled, pulling out your iron from your jacket pocket.

“ yeah, he capped him! “ dorio adds, pulling out her own weapon from behind some cover next to you.

“ i think i have some pilar on me. “ kiwi mumbles with disgust, laying low next to dorio. why did she say it so casually? wasn’t that her crew mate?

“ gimme that! “ enraged by her brother’s death, rebecca snatches dorio’s gun and wildly rushes out of safety and towards the man, and starts spraying at his direction with dual pistols.

“ cocksucker! you had no fuckin’ right! “ she screams on the top of lungs, not even aiming correctly due to her seething anger. once her pistol was out of bullets, she angrily tosses it aside, and sprints towards her brother’s killer with dorio’s.

“ fuckin’ cyberpyscho trash! “ none of her bullets was hitting during her frenzied shooting. maine snatches her petite form with him behind cover as a another projectile hurdles several inches away her previous spot. not even a moment in his grasp and she thrashes out of it and snags maine’s ak.

in another failed attempt to shoot him, she hazardously mishandles the weapon and judder backwards due the powerful recoil and her small body. the bullets only dented the metal of the crate. the cyberpyscho readies his arm again to shoot another explosive and kiwi swiftly resets rebecca’s system by maine’s command, her body drops to the floor.

another explosive goes off and you frantically peek behind cover, looking for your brother who’s nearby, hiding behind a crator. “ david! you okay?! “

“ yeah! “ he yells back, “ where’s lucy?! “

fuck, lucy! your eyes search through the temporary smoke and scattered debris ahead and you spot her hidden behind the exact barrel where the man is standing on top of. your heart stops at the discovery, the grip on your iron’s handle grows tight. why the hell did she decide that spot was okay? what did it for you was lucy attempting to fry and neutralize the cyberpsycho which failed terribly. the man burst into flames but doesn’t even react to it and instead, blindly shoots a projectile near where’s she hidden. unspeakable anger instantly running through your veins, you compromise yourself by sprinting out of cover and towards the fucker.

“ that’s enough, you mindless cockhead! “ you barked, ignoring the man getting ready again to use another projectile.

“ (name), no! stop! “ lucy pleads, helplessly watching you risk your life just to see her.

all of his shots so far were erratic which means his aim is too. it’s a gamble but you’re willing to bet your life on it. your heart is beating out of your rib cage, rushing blood into your veins, beads of sweat rolls down your brow as you push your organic legs to the best of your human ability.

the projectile goes off, flying straight towards you but you keep running, not caring about the shouting around you, telling you to move out the way from getting flatlined.

“ you little shit! move— “

like what you predicted, the projectile narrowly misses your head by an inch and you quickly close the distance between you and your target.

bursting with adrenaline, you use the momentum to kick up the barrel and fling your body onto the platform. within a single breath, you pistol whipped the man and aimed the barrel of your gun right between his eyes.

“ the more you let shit get to you while walkin’ on the edge, the quicker and harder you fall. “ falco’s word rings through your head as you pull the trigger. a single shot pierces through the chaotic atmosphere, seemingly putting the bizarre situation to an end.

the man’s blood splatters all over your face.

after watching his body fall, you rush over to the edge to check on lucy.

“ lucy—please tell me you’re alright! “

she briefly eyes the worried look on your bloodied face and give you a small, assuring smile.

“ i’m alright. “

“ preem. i’m so relieved. “ you grinned toothily, not before it falters from the sight of blood running down the side of lucy’s face as she pensively gazes at you.

you gasp, “ you’re bleedin’! “

unbeknownst to you and to lucy’s horror, the cyberpsycho’s projectile launcher is aimed straight at your head. not even a half a second later, another shot rings out. this time, by david being the one to confirm the kill through his own panic and anger. flashbacks of you and his mother flows through his head while his finger was pressed on the trigger.

that was the first time he killed someone.

“ move, kid! “

maine quickly shoves david aside and punches the cyberpsycho’s head clean off before his decapitated body falls.

“ fuck! “ rebecca blows his severed head off with her shotgun as it lands at her feet. “ he was mine to kill and you took that from me! “

she blows off the remainder of pilar’s head and spits her gum out on her brother’s killer splattered head too. the guy was a dickhead but you give him your respects because he’s rebecca’s brother. you don’t know if you should try to comfort rebecca while she’s in a furious state like that.

“ don’t touch me. .! “ lucy brushes off dorio’s hand, denying her aid after her senior verbally points out the bleeding wound.

“ you’re hurt, need a booster? “

“ dorio, take the girl to go see a ripperdoc. “ maine turns to you and david, “ you two go with them. me and kiwi gotta stay behind and explain this cluster fuck of a mess. someone’s gotta do it. we’ll just tell them what that pig did to pilar and they’ll write this off as a cyberpsycho incident. “

“ nova. . “ you mumble, tapping your foot impatiently, and crossing your arms over your chest. all you want right now is to wash your face and take a nice shower to wipe the grime off your skin.

“ both of you, ‘saw what you did back there. the freezing’ up and almost gettin’ flatlined by that dirtbag cus’ of leapin’ straight to danger like a dumbass willin’ to risk it all was a rookie mistake. high-time you kids learn to stop thinking like a rookie. “

irritated, you roll your eyes, turning your head away and david says nothing, dropping his gaze to his feet in shame.

what you did wasn’t a rookie mistake.

“ huh, who’s there? “ the doc peeks through arrays of cybernetic arms and grunts with annoyance, “ you again? y’all know i’m not a licensed physician, right?” he reminded in a grumble, frowning at the three unwanted guests standing by the doorway of his illegal clinic.

“ doesn’t matter. i didn’t come here by choice anyways. “ lucy replies dryly, stepping inside, “ i’m going in alone. “ she throws you a seemingly cold glance and the door shuts behind her.

that girl sure can act nonchalant when she wants to be. you sighed, shifting your weight onto the other foot.

“ (name). make sure you get lucy home and cleaned up. david, come with me. i’ll ride you back. “ dorio offers, gesturing for your brother to follow along with her to his car.

“ o-oh, sure. “

“ w-wait, what? sure, but what about me and lucy’s ride back? “ you asked nervously with furrowed brows. you gotta talk to her anyways but setting you up like this is criminal—especially when your face is covered with subhuman blood.

“ maine said you can take his wheels. c’mon david. “

he’s apart of this too?

“ fine, b-but gimme a towel! and you make sure to get davi home and cleaned up too! “ you asserted, watching them walk away to dorio’s car.

“ that’s fine, i’ll come back to hand a towel to you from my ride. “

“ see ya at the crib, g’luck! “ david waves at you sheepishly. you just wave back, sneaking him a help me look. he gives you a cheeky thumbs up and turns his back on you.

that boy.

—

it’s been at least fifteen minutes since she’s been in and you’ve been idle near by, wiping the blood from your face. you really need to properly wash your face. you cringe at the disgusting feeling of the blood clogging up your pores.

“ fuck, this shit sucks. “ you murmur angrily.

the ripperdoc’s entrance door unexpectedly slides open and lucy casually walks out with a cigarette between her rosy lips. her gaze immediately falls onto you who’s crouched on the side. you lift your head up and grinned happily at the sight of her.

“ you’re back, lucy! let’s delta, m’gonna take you back to your place. “

she doesn’t object and quietly nods her head.

you can call yourself a decent driver. unlike david, gloria taught you how to drive. you honed your skills by driving around to do errands for her whenever she was tired from work. she’d always insist on going on her own but eight times out of ten; you’d convince her to not push herself than she already has. hell, you even helped david hustle his xbds gigs by driving him around to clients in santo domingo. there was a few predicaments where things got a little thin thanks to david’s recklessness but you being his getaway driver made his lifespan longer. now, you and david look back at those situations and laugh.

“ so, how was the visit. did the doc treat you good? a shady lookin’ guy but he cares a bit. ” you say softly, eyes straight on the highway to westbrook.

“ mhm. he did. “

“ that’s nova. i got scared back there, you know. “

“ mm. . . “ lucy doesn’t say anything for a few moments which undoubtedly made you nervous. she just quietly looks out of the passenger’s window, either at the scenery or her reflection. you continue to drive for several minutes, patiently waiting for her response. though, each minute that passed started to get you more and more anxious.

“ . .you should really worry more about yourself. .” she speaks up, repeating similar words she said days back. you hum thoughtfully, adjusting the wheel slightly to make a turn off the highway and into japantown.

“ th-that’s fair. you told me this already. i know, but, ”you thought about the people who came into your life recently, the ones you disliked but grew fond of, the brother who you love to death, the deceased mother who’s dream you hold dear to you, and the girl next to you who you wish to get closer to. you have too many ties—you don’t have time to worry about yourself.

“ i can’t. “ you laughed bitterly, particularly at yourself, “ not when there’s those who i want to protect. “

lucy stays quiet, most likely soaking in your words without intentions of a response—a response that might expose how she really feels. she pushes back the urge of wanting to talk further and doesn’t say anything.

you don’t say anything at first either and silently turned on the radio to your favorite channel.

“ . . .this channel is my fav. i always listen to this when my mind’s clogged up. well—that or lookin’ at the moon.” you admitted, making another right to a narrow street.

heartache, she only doin' what she know

weekends, get it poppin' on the low

better days comin' for sure

“ ‘eyy. i love vibin’ to this song. it’s a classic. “ you laughed softly, nodding your head to the beat. lucy throws you a side glance, the corners of her gaze softens. she’s not used to seeing you so relaxed like this. she won’t lie and say that you your best like this—smiling prettily and into your own element. her heart feels soft embers in her chest.

“ it goes in, out, do it real slow. . — “

“ right here. “

you quickly stopped in front of her apartment, mostly out of surprise because you almost missed her street.

“ a-ah, sorry. “

“ you’re good. nice voice by the way. “ she compliments, getting out of the vehicle and you follow suit.

“ yeah, right. ‘m no singer. “ you deny, trailing behind her into mega building h8. she begins to walk up the stairs to her floor.

“ can be if you tried. “

“ whatev. “ you’d mutter, tucking your hands into your leather jacket. fuck, you still not done talking to her and she already reached her unit, stepping towards the door of her apartment. you bite into the inner flesh of your cheek.

“ g’night. “ she says, putting in the code and entered inside of her apartment.

“ h-hey, lucy, wait! we st-still gotta talk s’more! “ you stammered, feeling embarrassed about waiting until the last second to stop her.

a moment later, she steps right back out, looking over at you blankly. you swallow thickly.

“ this way. “

she leads you to the roof, on a small platform where you and her have the perfect view of the large moon above. you sat down with her, crossing your legs.

“ this spot. .you come here often? “

“ yeah, to clear my mind. “

“ i see. “ you look up at the moon, a sense of longing washes over you.

“ that bd of the moon we did. .it was like a breath of fresh air. i liked it. “ you smiled awkwardly.

“ actually, i have something i want to talk about too. remember that night we met? what i said back then? i know how it must look but i wasn’t lying. it was true. that was the first time i’ve ever told and shared anybody that. “

“ yeah, i should of figured from the way you looked so happy then. there’s no way you can act out such a killer smile. “

“ what if i’m acting now? “ even though you can’t exactly see her pretty face, you can hear the smile in her smooth voice.

“ oh, c’mon. “ you chuckled, leaning forward with a confident smile, “ i doubt it now. “

“ why not? “

“ you didn’t even look at me as you asked that. “

“ crazy. “

you prop an elbow on your knee and placed your chin on your palm. “ still wish you could of told me sooner though. “

“ couldn’t. “

“ why? “

there’s a melancholic tone to her voice as she replies, “ you were so mad at me then. “

“ yes, miss m’am. i was. “

“ see what i mean? “

“ but rightfully so. the pretty girl that revealed her biggest wish and treasure to me the first night i met her ends up fuckin’ me over—yeah i’d be all pissy for a while. though, i don’t hate you for that, just couldn’t. but, if i was hot hot about it, well, i wouldn’t have risked my life for you back there with that mad man.” you half-lied. even if you were that upset, you’d never let lucy get flatline’d like that.

the rainbow-haired girl scoffs, seeing right through your whimsy lie. “ liar. “

“ am not. “

“ is too. “

“ how? “

“ because you’re the type to jump into the fire to save someone, even if you know you’re going to get burned. that’s just who you are. “

your brows raise, “ and? would that make me a bad merc? “

“ didn’t say that. you’d make a good edgerunner, actually. you already are i think. “

you frown, “ so what’s the issue—“

“ you don’t make your name for yourself as a cyberpunk by how you live; but by how you die. “ lucy stands up abruptly as she continues, “ that’s not the life or end that you deserve, (name). “

you sprung up, shaking your head at her words, “ what do i deserve then? how am i different from you? “

“ a good life. me? i got nowhere else to go. this it it.”bullshit.

“ i don’t either—we all don’t! do you know what city we’re livin’ in right now? we’re more similar than you think, lucy! “ you argued back. she’s not even facing towards your direction, almost like she’s avoiding seeing your face. violet highlights compliments her form, produced by the city glows.

“ no, you and i are worlds apart—“

“ what? then tell me—in what way? lucy, please look at me! “

the netrunner bites her bottom lip in distress, gripping the back of her hair; right where she keeps a certain area hidden.

“ fuck, let’s go to the moon together, lucy! “ you declared, “ gonna make our wish–no your dream come true. m’gonna you there, that i promise! “

lucy paces over to you, cradles your cheeks with her palms, and brings you into a hasty kiss. she stuns you in pace. your eyes widen like saucers, body weightless, almost as if you were floating in space. in the distance, a rocket launches off into the air, racing into the sky just as fast as your heart racing onto your sleeve.

“ i don’t want you to die on me. . “ she whispers gently, retracting away to peer deeply into your widened eyes. there’s a passionate glint in her pastel hues in contrast to the still expression on her highlighted countenance. there has to be something more behind those blends of colors; a woeful past that has her expressing her fear like this. she adds pressure to her tender palms, pulling you back into reality from the weight of her touch.

without saying a word, you clumsily slot your lips between lucy’s, briefly and experimentally running your tongue through the parting opening of her mouth, and pulled away. previously surprised by your kiss, the older girl recovers and kisses you again with tongue. tobacco and a sweet twinge of carbonated soda explodes on your tastebuds. albeit clumsy, the strings kisses you shared between her were ardent and solidified a resolve within the pit of your heart.

“ i won’t die. “ you promised breathlessly against her soft lips, holding lucy close by the hips. “ now, i need something from you. two things i been wantin’ for the longest. “

“ say it then. . “ she whispers, traveling her hand down the lower half of your face. her thumb runs along the fleshy surface of your slightly swollen lips.

“ wanna apology for back then. haven’t heard you say sorry yet. “

“ you serious? “ she half chuckles, you rest your forehead against hers. you’re lucky to be the same height as lucy and not as david in this moment.

“ dead, prettiness. “ you tuck strands of hair behind her ear.

“ prettiness? you’re the one to talk. “

“ can it and gimme my apology. “

“ hmm. m’sorry. “ she drawls, returning to slide her hand down to the side of your neck sensually, pale knuckles brushing against your collar. even though you want more than a one word apology, you let it go, bewitched by her charms.

“ i’ll take it. next thing, be my girl. “

she breaks into a pretty smile, a small flush spread on her milky cheeks.

“ you’re really going all out, huh? “

“ you kissed me first. “

“ touché. ‘kay, sure. “

it’s your turn to grin happily, squeezing at her hips. “ now i feel fuckin’ preem. let’s get you inside now. “

you followed lucy off the roof and back to her door side by side. the warmth in your chest dampens once you fully realized that you won’t see her until tomorrow.

“ what’s with the puppy eyes? “ lucy queries, casting you a quick side glance before she punches the entrance code to her apartment. your heart gets caught in your throat and you stammer, “ n-nothing! m-my mind was elsewhere, lu’. “

she doesn’t react to her new nickname and positions her body towards you. despite the neutral expression she’s wearing, you can recognize the fondness in her eyes.

“ i’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay? “ lucy lean forward and plants a short kiss on your lips. you bob your head, waving your hand meekly as she enters inside of her apartment. the netrunner spares you one last look over her shoulder before shutting the door behind her.

you let out the biggest sigh of relief in your life.

—

“ took you long enough. “ david greets you, sitting down on the couch, free of his jacket. it appears like he got rid of the bum’s blood stains from his face. walking inside, you kick off your shoes, and ambulating your way over to the living room with him.

“ my fault, probably should of taken the highway back. “ you sat down on the cushion beside him and leaned against his frame in a relaxed manner. david lets you without a protest.

“ not what i meant. looks like you n’ lucy made up. “

“ fuck off, what gave it away? “

“ you seriously askin’ me that? it’s all over your face, asshole. you were smilin’ like a loser when you came through the door. “

“ whatev. “

you rub the back of your neck and craned it side to side, attempting to ease the stiffness.

“ did you tell her what i suggested? “ he asked hopefully, fiddling around with his fingers. you hum back with confirmation, dropping your hand down on your lap to observe the small bruises from the stand off a few hours ago on your palm. they don’t really hurt and it’s already fading.

“ mhm, wingboy. i was going to do that anyways. “

david simply grunted, averting his gaze somewhere off into the room.

“ what she say? “

“ that everything she said back then was true and genuine. then something about me and her being different—that we’re worlds apart. “

“ huh? how so? “

“ dunno, looked like she didn’t wanna tell me. “

“ you think she’s hidin’ something? “

“ most likely. i promised lucy that i’ll take her to the moon, to make a dream come true though. “ you don’t tell him about the kiss(es).

david’s face crunch up with confusion as he recalls, “ didn’t you call that a wish and how it’s wishy washy? “

“ didn’t you call that poster she had on her wall a joke? “ you remarked, ruffling up his puffy mohawk. you always thought the mohawk looked goofy when he started rocking it years ago. david thought he looked so cool with a mohawk. he showed it to you one day after gloria took him to the barber with his chest all puffed out, looking ‘tough’. you never laughed so hard that day. now? the style definitely grew on you. the younger teen swats your hand away, huffing, “ you know i ain’t mean it like that. don’t spin this on me, asshole. answer the question! “

“ i did call it wishy washy. i guess it’s different with her. ‘spewed it at the heat of the moment but it came from my heart. i still intent to make her dream come true. i. .also got her to apologize too and we’re a thing. “

“ oh, that’s. . preem! totally didn’t expect that one comin’. i guess i should be promoted to wingman now, huh? “ he laughs and you laugh with him.

“ i guess i should for you helping out these past days, davi. “

silence momentarily fills the relaxed ambience of your shared apartment, you thought about the bd experience with her, the kiss, the way she looked in the eyes on that roof. your gaze softens and so did your tone as you asked your brother,

“ if you were in my shoes, would you have promised her that too? would you have done the same? “

david stays quiet for a moment before he replies meekly,

“ yeah. .i think i would have done the same for her too. “

you don’t miss the longing in his voice. guilt immediately washes over you.

david, you really are my wingman, aren’t you?

“ (name)? “

“ yea, davi? “ you respond, removing your iron from your belt and stood upright to take off your bloodstained jacket that you desperately need to clean.

“ . .didn’t you say dreams can’t come true without a sacrifice. .right? “

[en-djinn]

yt playlist link

i do character playlists a lot coz i find them very fun and it gets me to find new stuff in genres im not as familiar with, since i like to match the genre to the char. tho im a picky person w music so some chars i just cannot make playlists for. luckily all the chars i tend to like feel very similar to my own tastes. anyway, that is to say-

this one is a MESS tonally and in range of genre but everything felt right and i think that honestly fits with adam anyway. i wanted to get some of his melancholy, his suicidal thoughts, his messianic symbolism, his struggle with identity, and the freedom that comes with letting go and becoming magus. theres something about the way he can only truly be happy if hes dead/in soulworld or become the magus that kinda speaks to me.

i split it into two halves, one for warlock and one for magus. i wanted the first half, warlock, to be a little more distant and soft. somber. and then get more energetic/aggressive as it goes to magus, who should be full of strange whimsical sounding songs with that aggressive undertone. luckily thats something thts very easy for me to find as it overlaps with my own music tastes entirely (though i had to resist adding fleshgod apocalypse coz i feel that their symphonic death metal fits SO good. i might do another magus playlist later filled with my own indulgences. which means all (mostly black, obviously) metal. i also had to resist adding vrazorth but if u are interested in experimental/avant garde metal i HIGHLY recommend checking out their album 'emergence', they call it cosmic black metal and it sounds awesome). unfortunately im also a huge fan of 40k and i was THIS close to putting smth off the darktide ost on it too. (warp traveller or embrace of the chaos cult specifically but honestly 40k stuff just Fits for it regardless. the mix of weird out of place sounds and the choirs and stuff. listen to the mechanicus ost if u havent already btw its an Experience). also anyone who knows me will know yes i WAS fighting the urge to add the 21m long experimental track "I" by meshuggah. that thing calls to me like the green goblin mask. if u have the time i also recommend it. it was only out of sympathy for the listeners who will most likely not be into that genre that i abstained. the warlock side was a little harder for me since i was torn between going with my own tastes entirely (metalcore/emo and jungle) and going with what i think actually fits him as a character (prog rock). ive listened to prog rock before but im not super knowledgeable on it and i only tend to like the stuff that starts to overlap with industrial or more aggressive sounds. i knew i had to add king crimson and luckily i HAVE listened to a lot of their stuff before, tho not the entire discography so there might be something better fitting from them but i liked the tone of the one i ended up choosing. i also wanted to add macroblank to the warlock side but i dont use spotify and they only upload entire albums to youtube, not individual songs. either way. it sure ended up with not much prog rock. but i adore the soft floaty sort of sounds for him so i couldnt resist adding more of that.

and ive had people ask me before 'why not just add everything onto ur playlists' and the reason is i much prefer making smaller highly curated ones. it makes me think about it harder and rly consider Why something deserves to be on there.

so yeah. i just wanted this one to be weird and abstract. its my favourite thing about adam. and about jim starlin's art and writing. he occupies the same space in my brain as american mcgee's alice.

i dont normally write stuff like this coz i hate explaining myself, but i thought id give it a try this time. i could go over why i added every song but that feels a little overkill and i dont think i have that much more to say anyway. unless someone asks specifically. also i have some ideas for a more upbeat 80s-2000s pop quillock playlist for later when i get rly inspired. i love music, man.

anyway heres the full playlist as text:

Goldfrapp - Utopia

Sengoku Cyber: Fujimaru Jigokuhen OST - Winner Takes All

Nelward - The Sum of All Our Sirens

Queens of the Stone Age - My God Is The Sun

King Crimson - Happy With What You Have To Be Happy With

Troldhaugen - Catoptric Contortions

Polkadot Cadaver - A Wolf in Jesus Skin

Nine Inch Nails - The Becoming

Carpenter Brut - Leather Terror

Behemoth - Ora Pro Nobis Lucifer

and heres the png of the repeating bg. tried to clean it up a little.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Hi! I just stumbled onto your blog and saw that you do analogies! And I’ve just been dying to talk about this lol,

I’ve always wanted to talk about Dazai and Akutagawa, and how Dazai ignoring him and never actually apologizing to him is actually helping him in some sick way.

think about it this way, Dazai knows that Akutagawa wants his approval, he needs his approval, even if Dazai abused him.

Dazai knows that if he were to give Akutagawa the attention and approval he wants Akutagawa is going to continue to see Dazai as his savior, however if Dazai continues to ignore him and purposely puts the tiger guy(I can’t spell his name 💔) in front of him multiple times akutagawa is going to eventually have character development and growth and eventually he’s going to grow out of Dazai, In a way Dazai is helping him, because of the strong attachment Akutagawa has to Dazai is a weakness, it’s a weakness that has no place in the port mafia. im sure there’s more to back up this claim but still.

or I’m just talking out of my ass and Dazai just uses him for his selfish purposes(most likely)

thank you for listening to my Ted talk 😓

Hi anon! Thank you for inviting me to your Ted talk!

The Dazai and Akutagawa dynamic is one of the more complicated dynamics in BSD, and certainly one of the hardest to discuss. There are a lot of facets that I couldn't possibly cover all in one post, so I'll just address the question you brought up: Is Dazai, in his own twisted way, trying to help Akutagawa?

Well... I think, sort of, yes. But calling it "help" is generous.

BSD has a running theme of abuse narratives that sit on this uncomfortable fence - neither particularly apologetic nor condemning of them, but simply showing the characters' complicated reactions as they are. Personally, it's something I appreciate as a reader. Atsushi's struggle against the ghost of the orphanage director is one of my favourite parts of the story. The director is dead, but Atsushi spent much of the early story acting specifically to prove him wrong - as if to measure his life's worth against the words he'd been assaulted with. He knows the orphanage director was needlessly cruel and does not forgive him, but he also learns the reason why he did it. He hates him, but he's still allowed to have messy feelings of grief for the man who was the closest thing he ever had to a caregiver.

These narratives crop up again and again. The Orphanage Director and Atsushi. Akutagawa and Kyouka. Kouyou and Kyouka. In all of these, the through line is the initial intent: each one of the people who enacted these cruelties intended to help. However, they're limited and blinded by the cruelties they themselves underwent. As such, they do what they think is best without any regard for whether that is actually what the other person needs. The Orphanage Director thought he was toughening Atsushi up to prepare for the outside world. Kouyou thought she could shield Kyouka in the shadows since her experience was that having hope and losing it is worse than having none at all.

Akutagawa tried to help Kyouka too, in his own way, by emulating what he thought Dazai wanted from him - he tried to forcibly fashion her into a weapon, into someone strong, because that's the only way he thought her life could have meaning.

But the Dazai and Akutagawa dynamic, though it bears similarities to many of these, is much more complex. For one, Akutagawa misinterpreted what Dazai wanted from him. He thought if he fashioned himself into a strong enough weapon, he could prove his worth and be acknowledged. But that's not the case. Here's a few passages from Dark Era:

Dazai wasn't trying to make a sharper blade, he was trying to make him more well-rounded - to learn to shield as well as attack. All this for the purpose of making a new Double Black to face off against Fyodor's plans. Note that it is Atsushi with the claws - the weapon - and Akutagawa as the reinforcer and shield in their team ups.

So, is that it? He just wanted a powerful duo?

There's a little more to it. In the Heartless Cur, which describes their first meeting, we have this pivotal moment:

It's the question which runs through the entire series, and it's the question through which our characters all struggle with. What reason is there to live in a cruel world? How best to navigate it?

Dazai at this point doesn't have the faintest clue. It's blind leading the blind. Dazai says he can give him a reason while being unable to deliver in any reasonable way, but I don't think he was necessarily lying - not out of goodwill or anything like that, but because Dazai has always been invested in observing people's convictions to live and the reasons they come to. He's invested in the human struggle.

But at this point in his life, his attempts to warp and control Akutagawa are met with failure, because he does not impart any good reason to Akutagawa why he should value anything. Even though he recognized that a more patient approach like one Odasaku would take might work, he dismisses it for himself because "righteousness doesn't take" to him. Again, we see this ongoing commonality of people doing what they think is best for another while actually acting on their own biased viewpoints, as opposed to really seeing what is best for the person in their charge.

So, while the idea that Dazai wanted to help Akutagawa by putting him in contact with Atsushi is nice... I believe it is and has always been more strategic than anything. Moreover, Dazai has this weird moment of pettiness where he does the exact same thing to Akutagawa by comparing him with Odasaku.

It's not really "help" so much as it is "hey why don't you go interact with this person I know who values life, maybe you'll learn something"... instead of, you know, actually helping him find things to value. And Akutagawa's later interactions with Atsushi are a continuation of his initial plan to create a new powerful partnership - which is a strategic choice first and foremost. But it can't be overlooked that the only way sskk would work well together is if they come to understand each other - and that sort of necessarily involves them both coming to some kind of reason.

So, in carrying on with similar patterns from other dynamics, and in his intent for the duo, I do honestly think that Dazai wants Akutagawa to find his reason. As always, Dazai has multiple explanations for his actions, and honestly, I do think one such explanation is that Atsushi and Akutagawa would be able to help each other. I don't know that I would call this Dazai "helping", per se, but it is a form of investment.

[the-s1lly-corner]

HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena

if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks

TADC x ENA type!GN!reader

typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions

CAINE:

caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere

will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side

takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone

you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words

POMNI:

writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA

anyways

absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up

honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things

not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write

JAX:

initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken

tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)

sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane

bro is fighting the urge to mimic it

surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself

RAGATHA:

optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others

similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think

ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin

[mx-mix-lurker]

I just really need to get this off of my chest. I'm genuinely suffocating from keeping it in.

I Don't Get How People Can Ship DS! Drink and DS! Cream (Dream X Cross).

I just don't really get it. Like, how can they do that without bringing up the things that make up... ya know. Them as Individual Characters? I guess? It's like, everyone forgets that this is a DreamSwap AU of Dreamtale. Of the Undertale Multiverse characters. They don't have the same personalities as the "Original Goods".

It just... gives me a major ick? No. That's too strong of a word. But I just can't help but scrunch my face whenever I see them before scrolling past it because well, obviously, I don't have the right to stop people from their shipping. And I'm usually fine with AUs ver of DreamSwap because then, they're a whole new character.

But I really don't get why people don't include the fact that DS! Ink is entirely dependent on Dream's Aura. Basically needs and WANTS it to feel and function. DS! Ink can always use his "vials" but DS! Dream forbid it and not only that, I'm pretty sure it's more preferable to literal shocks that has been input in him to garner a type of emotion.

Like, I can see DS! Ink getting with DS! Dream, half because of his Aura and half because DS! Ink would want it. But will DS! Dream really get together with someone who basically... needs him in his life to be considered as a functional being? Like, won't DS! Dream notice the power imbalance between the two of them?

I don't doubt that if push comes to shove, DS! Ink will definitely not just lie down and submit to bullshit being pushed on him. DS! Ink isn't a pushover and he's not about to become one just because. But DS! Ink honestly feels... gullible? Thanks to the Aura that DS! Dream and DS! Nightmare have. (Maybe this is because my first introduction to DS! Ink is that one part where he got technically kidnapped by DS! Cross and DS! Nightmare and get confronted by them as like, I guess, a closure for DS! Cross? I don't remember but onebizarrekai was the one who wrote it so it's canon... I think.)

But DS! Ink is more.. malleable, easily influenced by DS! Dream and DS! Nightmare's Auras. Easily hurt too, if their auras are both released in DS! Ink's presence.

So I don't really get... why DS! Dream would ever get together, professional (mostly) Lord Von Licht getting together with his employee, someone who is directly works under him. Like, yeah, they're friends and DS! Ink's a sassy shithead but it's just... not something I can see DS! Dream knowingly doing without like, a very obvious struggle and denial?

They always jump into them reciprocating feelings without thinking about the power imbalance and shit.

DS! Dream and DS! Nightmare are different in that, if they ever somehow manage to get together, DS! Dream will be feeling heavy with guilt and trying so hard to make up for it. DS! Dream and DS! Blue are also ships that I'm fine with. Maybe it starts into something casual, benefiting with each other and such since Blue does like, agree with Justice Reigns' ideology. DS! Dream and DS! Error? Oh yeah, I'm also good with that, as they're two levelheaded individuals.

But DS! Dream and DS! Ink? No... like, touch up on the fact that parts first which they don't need to but like... :(

Also Do I Even Need To Explain Why I Don't Get DS! Dream and DS! Cross? Like, yeah, I definitely like Enemies to Lovers Trope but like, do not make them have crushes?? Make it tension not silly high school butterfly in my tummy tee-hee. DS! Cross is so stubborn and hotheaded despite the long way he came from like, dealing with his past and trauma (hate how I'm simplifying it ugh) that DS! Cross acts more like a bitter and jealous guy who's ex-girlfriend hooked up with DS! Dream. And DS! Dream... I love the guy, but he totally has a stick up his ass, viewing DS! Cross in disdain as a lowly criminal especially because of the hatred that DS! Cross has over DS! Dream.

JUST TO BE CLEAR IM NOT DEMANDING NOTHING I'M JUST SAYING LIKE, GIVE ME THE STRUGGLE?? FUCK THAT STILL SOUNDS LIKE A DEMAND BUT LIKE, ya know...

.... ya know

[stxneflxwers]

unpalatable.

⋯⁂ summary. suffering with disordered eating, you try your best to brush it off as being picky (as many others in your life have done before.) but, your beloved doesn't think it's mere pickiness anymore.

⋯⁂ a/n. short and sweet post here; so im not really worried about small grammar errors, word count, formatting, or what have you. i just need to get this icky feeling off my mind, ok? for the record as well: i'm writing all of this on tumblr post editor and not in gdocs like i normally do. so there's gonna be things lacking compared to my normal, "formal" works.

⋯⁂ characters. neuvillette. zhongli. wriothesley. gn reader.

⋯⁂ cw. reader has disordered eating (this is different from eating disorders, pls read further about it online if you want/must!) reader has poor self-esteem. characters being very very sweet. fluff. might be some hurt/comfort and panic. reader's weight is NOT described. there might be occasional OOC moments, but i tried my best to avoid it lol.

neuvillette.

he doesn't think anything of it at first. he understands the life of being..."picky" as some so rudely put it. he prefers his foods very moisturized, any dryness can be too much for his senses at times (most of the time.) the texture when it comes to something dry or even spicy can be very unpleasant; he swears if he ate sandpaper, that's what it'd taste and feel like.

when he starts noticing the worse..."quirks" about your eating habits, he's not sure how to word his concerns to you. he gets around to it and he can only hope he isn't too horribly late about it. he isn't, but he feels like he's late to saying something anyway.

once you both talk it over, he's already helping out. even if he's not quite sure exactly what he's doing. he's the type to fill your head and heart with sweet reassurances and even sweeter praises for doing your best, his smiles are the sweetest treat of all when he tells you these things, though.

even if he's stiff or awkward about the subject and tackling the problem at the root, he's as supportive as he can be. although, don't mistake this support as letting you get away without eating for long periods of time. he can and will pester you frequently about whether you've properly ate (and hydrated) recently. do your best to not damage his lover, alright?

zhongli.

believe it or not, he entirely gets the feeling of uneasiness and the occasional nausea behind a lot of dishes. fish is his worst enemy, for starters. his species doesn't really require tons of food to live off of, unlike your average human. so, when he first started "indulging" in more human dishes, he soon discovered what a gag reflex was. he won't admit to it, but he really hated it back then.

of course, that was so many centuries ago. he's adjusted fine enough to more dishes these days. and when you tell him about your struggles with eating, you initially write it off as you being childish.

he thinks not.

he doesn't let you get away with calling yourself childish—or any sort of derogatory statement that spits out of your mouth.

his hand slides up to yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. and a promise that he'll do his absolute best to help you conquer these problems with food and eating. even when you start to branch out and eat a bit more than you usually do, he feels so proud of you.

he gives you a shining smile, a peck to the forehead, and holds your sweet, cute face with his big hands; while also filling your mind with praises and affirmations about how well you're doing so far. he loves you so dearly, don't push him away.

wriothesley.

you try your absolute best to hide it from him, the man who is maybe the least bothered by most foods. at least, the one man from fontaine, that is. he really doesn't care too much about what he's eating, as long as it's edible. call it a habit from being an orphan. of course, he has his preferences, but who doesn't?

so, when he catches you eating less or being a little too selective (he's observant enough, don't test him), he brings it up right away in private—he makes sure it's with only you two in the room. he'll ask if you're feeling sick or anything lately, promising you that sigewinne can help out.

when you skirt around the subject, he pouts just a little. it's enough to get you to break down in front of him. you call yourself some nasty things over being rather selective about food, feeling incompetent and weird compared to him.

and he really can't believe what he's hearing at first.

his icy eyes go wide and he blinks on repeat like a broken record. he's still registering what you just said about yourself—his darling cutie. he smiles bittersweetly and shakes his head, it's the most he can muster at first. he's still in disbelief.

your heart sinks into the depths of your gut at the response, burning alive and leaving behind literal heartburn in your throat. before you can leave the room, he scurries up behind you and wraps his arms around you, imprisoning you in the softest way.

he tells you he'll help out if you want it and allow him to, mentioning that he hates to see you suffer. he gives you a loving but tight squeeze (one that's perhaps a little suffocating.) he promises to you to help you suffer, at least, less than before.

he loves you too much to see you in any type of pain, external or internal.

you're a prisoner of your own mind while also a cruel warden to yourself. and if it's the last thing he'll ever do, he swears he'll change at least that much.

[base0h]

Can I request Zoro, Luffy and Sanji reacting to their partner having an allergic reaction, like it’s so bad they can’t breathe. Perhaps it’s a new dish sanji had made and their partner didn’t know they were allergic to something in the dish until now. :D

a/n - this is supposed to be serious but if you know me I can’t be serious with one piece characters most of the time 😭 sorry anon but there’s crack in zoro’s and luffy’s💀🫶

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, reader has allergies, crack (zoro and Luffy’s part)

- lunch is Luffy’s favorite time of the day, nothing can stop him from eating lunch (it’s important to have 5 meals a day obviously 💀)

- there’s breakfast, breakfast 2, lunch, after-lunch meal, dinner, and then dessert (there’s like two deserts but he doesn’t think it counts as a meal)

- today, Sanji decided to use a sea king Luffy absolutely destroyed (it tried to steal his breakfast, rip sea king)

- it looked a bit sketchy, but Sanji can cook anything and make it taste good-

- but even as he was cooking it, the smell of it that filled the sunny made you a bit woozy, causing you to become quite fatigued

- luffy was too focused on how excited he was to eat it, so he didn’t notice your symptoms. He was literally drooling all over the poor sunny. it was gross asf

- bro couldn’t wait so he ate the ladle Sanji was smacking him with 💀💀💀💀💀

- “LUFFY SPIT OUT THE LADLE I NEED IT.” -Sanji

- “I GOT A SPLINTER IN MY THROAT AGSJBSISBDJFNC-“ -luffy (he’s choking on the wood)

- “LUFFY NOOO-” -chopper

- when the time finally came to eat, you were only starting to feel worse, that stench of the meat was making you even more nauseated than before

- you had started to cough more frequently, having a constant itch in your throat that just wouldn’t go away

- “Are you alright y/n?” -robin (shes so caring 😭🫶)

- “I’m ok robin- thank you.”

- you tried playing it off as nothing, but it was getting hard to breathe, your vision becoming blurry as you sat down next to Luffy at the table

- you tried to take a bite, barely being able to swallow it, struggling to get the food down

- “Y/n.. Do you not like it?” -Sanji

- you stared down at your hands, and you noticed that little red dots had started to form on your knuckles, spreading down your wrists

- you couldn’t breathe.

- “Y/n…? Helloooo?” -luffy

- he tried waving his hand in front of your face, but you ended up passing out onto the table face first

- “OH MY GOD Y/N DIED.” -luffy bro you suck 💀💀💀

- chopper immediately rushed over, having to literally shove Luffy away from you so he could inspect you

- cue Luffy running around in circles freaking out about how you died in front of him (like ace)

- “IM SUCH A BAD BOYFRIEND I LET Y/N DIE IN FRONT OF ME-“

- it turned out you were allergic to this specific type of sea king, and chopper managed to give you some medicine to help you feel better

- Sanji kept apologizing, making sure that he would never cook this again in the future

- “ARE YOU OK Y/N?! HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?” -luffy (he’s holding four fingers up but this dumbass can’t count)

- “Four.” -you

- “CHOPPER Y/N’S DYING SHE THINKS IM HOLDING UP 4 FINGERS AGSOWBDOSNDJNFOXNC-“

- omfg Luffy pls 😭

- you love this guy but he’s dumb af

- Sanji absolutely adores cooking for you, he’d do it every minute if you wanted 🫶

- he practically knows every single dish you like by heart, and can recite all your favorite fruits and vegetables

- he always loves making new recipes for you to try, you’re his most trusted taste tester! (It’s not luffy- bro would eat the food and the plate too so he’s disqualified)

- today, he wanted to try a new take on some foreign food items he got from the market

- he hadn’t ever seen these before, but he had a knack for knowing which things would be delicious and rich in nutrients

- ever since the smell of the food traveled onto the sunny, you noticed that it was harder to take deep, full breaths.. but maybe it was just because the air was thin

- it didn’t go away. It only continued to worsen as Sanji kept cooking

- soon you started to cough, and have shortness of breath

- Sanji quickly stopped smoking, thinking that perhaps it was because of him. And he took you outside for a moment for you to get some fresh air

- your symptoms just wouldn’t go away! Irritatingly lingering around like some insect

- the time came to test out the new food, and your cough had worsened, your heartbeat racing from your lungs struggling to breathe

- it tasted good.. But the moment it traveled down your throat, you could feel it closing, as if your airways were completely blocked

- Sanji noticed it right away, and ran off in a panic to get chopper, supporting you from behind as chopper inspected your throat

- Sanji didn’t know what to do.. He wasn’t a doctor. But he knew he had to do whatever he could to make you feel better. He hated seeing you in pain!

- his hands carefully held you up as he allowed you to rest against his chest. Chopper confirmed that it was a severe allergic reaction to the food… And Sanji couldn’t believe that he was the one that caused this

- he immediately made Luffy scarf the food down to get it away from you, and made a mental note to get mad at the merchant that sold him the meat later (anything for y/n 🫶🫶)

- he did whatever he could to make you feel better.. Water? He’s already got it. Take you to bed? Of course! A nice blanket? You don’t even have to ask

- he felt so guilty! He never meant to make you have an allergic reaction like that.. He kept apologizing- over and over

- “Y/n- I’m so sorry.. I didn’t know you were allergic to that. I swear I’ll never cook it again, do you need anything? Water? I’ll get it for you! I’m sorry- you don’t have to forgive me- it’s completely my fault.”

- poor guy was ranting about how he doesn’t deserve you anymore 😭

- you had to reassure the man that it was alright, and that you turned out to be alright in the end!

- “No but seriously please don’t cook that again I think I almost died.” -you

- “IM SORRY Y/N IM SO SORRY-“ -Sanji

- bro is literally on his knees begging for forgiveness 💀

- zoro’s solution to anything health related would either be to sleep, drink, or take a shit

- stomach hurts? Take a shit

- feeling stressed? Take a shit

- need a break? Take a shit (copyrighted by zoro)

- he’s a tough guy, and he’s not very smart sometimes 💀

- but you love the marimo nonetheless 🫶

- he had just finished his 29th fight with Sanji today, and it was right on time for lunch

- you were amazed by how Sanji could argue and still try to kick zoro’s head off at the same time

- today, you felt oddly stiff and uncomfortable, were you getting sick?

- you didn’t start feeling under the weather until Sanji started cooking lunch… But you didn’t pay attention to that, you tried to press on and bare through it with a grin

- it got harder and harder, and your head started hurting next.

- “Your head hurts? Did you shit today?” -zoro

- “What the fuck does my shit have to do with my head zoro?”

- he’s dumb just leave him be

- of course he’s concerned for you, he just doesn’t know how to help you 👍

- he continued eating his lunch, and you managed to take a bite of yours after a couple minutes of mustering up the strength

- you couldn’t breathe

- you started panicking, grabbing zoro’s arm to tell him something’s wrong. This wasn’t just a cold- this was something BAD

- “Y/n? What the hell? You look horrible rn-“ -zoro (did he just insult you 😭)

- he finally realized that something was really wrong- and he started freaking out-

- he started slapping your back to try and get you to spit out the food- he thought you were maybe choking

- “Y/N? ARE YOU CHOKING? STOP CHOKING.” -zoro (wow zoro you’re so helpful 💀💀💀)

- you thought he’d be helpful? Yeah nah 😭

- bro was literally abusing your poor back, you swore he broke some kind of muscle back there

- chopper ran over, quickly inspecting you before deducing that it was an allergic reaction to the food

- “What the hell’s an allergy??” -zoro

- “It’s when people’s bodies don’t like a certain object or thing- it makes them cough or sneeze and maybe even does what it did to y/n.” -chopper

- Mosshead is so confused right now (he’s never been sick 💀)

- You started feeling better after chopper gave you some medicine to clear your system of the food.. And thank god- you felt so much better than before

- “Y/n you could’ve just shit out the food.” -zoro

- “I CANT SHIT ON COMMAND YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER-“

a/n - Luffy can’t count 💪

[cacw]

assuming they do formally know each other in your version of events, do you have any particular thoughts on frostpaw's relationship with/opinion of shadowsight? i found it strange how little they interact for how unmistakably similar their circumstances are/were. i also recall you saying you wished frostpaw had been more sympathetic to tigerheart's intentions in canon which makes me curious about your frostpaw's relationship to the rest of the shadowclan family in general by extension

of course i would have preferred him dead and gone not because i hate him not even close but because thats how i feel his story should have rightfully ended. youve said it better than me time and time again... but im really only focusing on switching around family trees rather than focal story points like that and for the sake of their relationship we can just assume the events of tbc happened the same way they went canonically

ive always found it so bizarre how frostpaw has practically no friends or close relationships in riverclan after her mothers death (disregarding whatever they tried to shoehorn in at the tail end of her arc with icewing and mothwing because that really doesnt count for anything), no real support system, no one to speak up and stand by her no matter what. we are not talking about splashtail right now we talk about splashtail every day. her own mentor constantly encourages her to lie and keep quiet about whats happening and this alone is enough to drive frostpaw half-crazy. and thats what always made her interactions with shadowsight so much sweeter to me... she notes on more than one occasion that hes always been kind to her, and he acts as a welcoming presence in her time of need. hes a little older than her but theyre still close enough in age to find the other relatable. theyre very cute together and i always thought they were one of this arcs incredibly few high points

shadowsight is very mature and empathetic and his childhood was also pretty lonely... (hes always had a supportive family but i cant see his condition in youth and subsequent ostracization from his clanmates being something so easily swept under the rug. thats not really something you forget!) ive mentioned before that i think both—as characters rather than people—would benefit from being raised as only children, which im sure makes things even harder for them both and deeply affects the way they connect with people (ie ashfur and splashtail/curlfeather). their situations are nowhere near the same really but they probably see a lot of themselves in each other. he is almost unbearably kind which is something she needs badly though she probably gets sick of it sometimes; even just based off of her reaction to icewings prying and assurance in ASC3 we know shes got a very low opinion of herself and doesnt think she deserves anything given to her. its something i see her struggling with for a long long time but i dont think hed ever give up on her... he understands her better than most people ever could. and he doesnt try to fix her; he accepts her for who she is and who she isnt and doesnt push. he gets it. see: my tags on this post. i like what you said about them comparing scars

wrt tigerheart i think she would still be very upset about his intrusion at first. shes a bit quick to anger, understandably so after the death of her mother and the resulting state of her clan, but soon enough she would start to come around to his point of view because thats just who she is. tigerhearts shadowclan in my mind should be far more open and lenient than the other clans (riverclan especially). unfortunately his book was pretty lacking overall but it could have been the start of something better. everyone seems to forget that he watched his clan fall apart like three separate times! of course he wants to prevent it from happening again!

tigerheart is good to her and if we are being completely transparent here one could argue that he treated her better than her own clanmates. he should make her laugh and feel safe. she gets invited to every family barbecue. i want her to have a second home with them because god knows riverclan will never be good enough nor will she ever be good enough for riverclan. i have a very basic idea of what i would want from them in a better written arc and if you want to understand my take on frostpaw and war and juvenescence and death and everything else in this world you have to watch taps 1981

and of course we have this

suffice to say

[sanguine-prince]

okay so i just finished helluva boss (but not the shorts which i don’t think i’ll watch)…

and i enjoyed it for the most part. it’s a fun little show and i think that’s how people ought to treat it. i’ve a few thoughts below the cut. i’ve read a lot of glazing and a lot of hate and tbh i think i’m somewhere in the middle which seems like a rare thing in this fandom lmao

my favorite characters were fizz and moxxie & millie (tho the camp episode was so boring oh my goddd) and also ozzie however his design drives me up a wall why does he look like that. however his VA is sooo good

why do they say fuck so much

it feels like a show made for edgy high schoolers idk like it’s fun but it’s 90% sex jokes, ‘witty’ one-liners, and ship content

they interact with issues shallowly—like classism in hell and possibly racism (? if imps are a separate race ? idk)—and tbh i think they should stick to shallow examinations. social commentary is not their strong suit. things won’t hold together if they try to go deeper with this; it’s not a serious show and it should not be taking itself seriously. it works best when it’s interpersonal

i have a big issue w how viv/the writers/character designers portray fat ppl. i rly didn’t get the fat jokes about moxxie in that one ep like was it supposed to be a running gag? the character designs make everyone thin as a toothpick except for mammon who also happens to be the one sin they portray as being the worst and most disgusting. even bee who literally *is* gluttony is disgusted by mammon in that one scene where he’s chowing down in the courtroom. like what sense does that make.

which gets me to my real question that consistently bugged me throughout the whole series: what is the standard of morals in hell? the sins are personifications of their domains, so why are most of them decent folks? does this imply that people are sent to hell based on very conservative christian views—like is that the moral standard in this universe (i haven’t seen hh if this is explained)? like there genuinely weren’t a lot of indications for me for why a sin was a sin. ozzie emphasized lust being consensual; bee was concerned for blitz overindulging; but then verosika and her friends sexually assault moxxie and it’s implicitly brushed off as funny and not a big deal because oh well it is hell after all. idk it just felt inconsistent to me and i’m not sure why everyone and everything was so sanitized if this is supposed to be a terrible place

i liked the backstory episodes those were fun

i feel like they babygirlified stolas by making stella so unlikeable. it feels like the show runners were begging for us to sympathize with him when i thought he was a plenty decent character on his own and they could have made him much more morally complex by letting stella be an actual character. i was hoping there would be a little more ambiguity to it (rather than ‘yay stolas is finally divorcing that bitch’) because i genuinely was a little confused by why octavia was so mad at him at the end of s2 when the show covers his bases—she saw that stella wasn’t letting him call? idk i feel like the conflict should’ve come around the stars episode not the end one it just didn’t make sense to me. her struggle with the divorce made sense in s1 but by s2 they’d made stella such the clear-cut villain that it seemed like she never had a happy family to mourn the loss of. it felt forced that they transferred the conflict she seemed to be set up for having with her mother to stolas just to give him something to be upset about.

i’m not a big fan of stolitz im gonna be honest. idk why they like each other. they went from stolas essentially being a funny thirsty character to making their relationship the main plot line. it felt forced on blitz’s end especially like he went from not caring about him to ‘no actually he’s just too insecure to admit his feelings’ to madly in love?? within the space of a few episodes? there was also the problematic classist overtones as well but i think giving them an overtly toxic situationship would’ve been better and more fitting to the fact that they’re in hell than airbrushing things away so they can be an uwu yaoi pairing.

i enjoyed some of the songs especiallyyy the asmodeus one is s1 that was groovy as hell

i love fizz and ozzie they’re really cute :)

some of the designs got on my nerves (like ozzie and striker etc) but some of them were pretty cool (like fizz and stolas!)

in closing, i think the show is fine and a pretty fun watch it just shouldn’t take itself too seriously because then it breaks down.

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

I never see anybody talk about how at one point in the comics gar was canonically an addict like can we talk about this can we explore this more???????

And like, the thing is it is absolutely something you need to do your research on and actually try to UNDERSTAND if you're going to do anything with it, but it's also something that I feel... Genuinely makes... A lot of sense for his character, and should be an aspect included in more of his stories. I feel like more people are understanding and acknowledging he's a fundamentally traumatized and mentally ill character and you really can't divorce him from that without changing him entirely and giving NO reason for Why He's Like This aside from ... Idk... Immaturity, but I feel like a reliance and addiction to drugs, specifically sleeping pills in the comics and the YJ cartoon, is something that.. fits, very clearly, into the other patterns of Who He Is.

Like, he's experienced non stop trauma since an extremely young age, he's been a victim of abuse, which means he almost DEFINITELY has nightmares like probably every other hero out there. he canonically has anger issues he tries REALLY HARD to keep under control but his inner monologue and when he's alone he gets very negative, and sometimes lashes out at people who, usually, just want to help. he's depressed, he seems to struggle to make genuine connections with people even tho he desperately needs closeness and affection (probably part of why he acts so flirty, he wants physical closeness but lacks the stability to really let himself get close emotionally, his goofy nature is also a way to keep people at a distance without pushing them away completely. He wants them close, but not close enough to see who he actually is), he canonically jokes all the time because otherwise he would be depressed, so he's always running from his real feelings by putting on a mask and pretending to be something he's not, or at least a different version of himself that isn't totally genuine (it's an aspect of him, sure, he is genuinely a fun loving silly guy, but most of the time it's also just... A self defense mechanism from reality and HIMSELF) and so much more like. Idk man.

All of that adds up to a very traumatized person with avoidant tendencies who actively tries not to think about anything bad, sad, upsetting, and... That's all stuff that often leads people towards dependence and addiction of various kinds. You see it in other characters like Roy Harper for all the same reasons, tbh... They're actually pretty similar dudes depending on what versions you're looking at. Same w Dick Grayson, tho afaik he's never had a drug problem, Im p sure he HAS has alcohol problems.

All of them were just silly ass kids who got into the hero business way too young, had awful shit happen to them before and/or during, and did what they had to do to try to cope.

If anything I've said about Roy or dick is incorrect, pls correct me! I don't know their lore quite as well as I know my Dear Boy, Garfield's... But I do think that despite the difference in age (which rlly isn't much, especially once they're all adults) these three could all probably get a lot out of like. Just. Talking to each other. Mask off, literally, no sugarcoating, they all know how shit REALLY works, they could be honest with each other, ykno? But also I think gar and dick should fist fight in a Denny's parking lot at 3 am. Does that make sense?

(also btw most references I make to "canon" are what was true prior to all the retcons, so anything from 1960s-2011 I believe? Bc everything they did with him since then except for a few things more recently have been absolute trash garbage, they're only in the last few years actually taking the character seriously again and still haven't really... Normalized ? To like... A consistent level of seriousness and consistent lore and shit. So I'm not taking any of that into consideration for this particular analysis/exploration, plus I haven't actually READ most of it so I can't rlly speak on more than just small details I know to be true like: canon healing factor WOOO this boy is HARD TO KILL, BABYYYY GIVE IT UP FOR ANIMAL DNA KEEPING HIM ALIVE DESPITE IT ALL)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

can i be honest? im a fan of azul but his dream felt like it lacked impact. there were some very interesting moments and its better than the prediction that he would already be rich and own the world

like really? azul becomes a famous athlete and bullies others, then he takes over night raven? i feel like his struggles with his own identity and food could have been further explored and he is based off of ursula, which should extend to vanessa, right? it was the perfect reason to give him a total makeover and show that he has to be comfortable in his own skin before anything else, even if his other ness was what made him a target of bullying in the first place

your thoughts and worries on book 7 post has affected my perspective and i cant help but feel like something is missing 🥲 maybe all the budget went into Jade and Floyd?

[Referencing this post!]

As I’ve previously expressed, I have a lot of my own complicated feelings about the direction book 7 is taking, specifically with how the OB boys’ dream segments are presented and resolved. Azul’s dream is no different; it felt very contrived due to the formula TWST insists on running with in every new installment. It’s becoming even more apparent with each update, and it is really grating on me.

But!! Before I get to what I believe are shortcomings with Azul’s dream, let’s review what Anon has to say.

I feel like, no matter what, there will always be people claiming that the OB boys’ dreams are “missed opportunities”. This is simply because these characters have much more deep and complex issues than the rest of the cast, so we will naturally scrutinize them more. TWST is basically only able to go with one angle when they tackle the dream, leaving the other threads unexplored. This will surely annoy or disappoint people who wish that TWST would have addressed a different issue instead, or perhaps something closer to their personal interpretation of the events. In Azul’s case, I feel like some people (particularly in the west, not so much in the east) see Azul’s weight concerns or relationship with food as a prominent part of his character, so they wish that book 7 part 10 had looked into that more. However, that was never a big focus in canon, so it follows that TWST would want to dedicate its time and resources to the most pressing thing (which would be more centered on Azul’s general self-confidence, greed, and how those tie into his sense of identity). At the same time, they probably wanted to avoid a lens that is too broad. Having the focus be on Azul’s “otherness” or being an octopus might veer too heavily into something way beyond the scope of the ~10 parts of the story he has to himself.

We also need to consider that these dreams are meant to be shallow interpretations of what the dreamer desires (according to Idia). Only the OB boys get to go more in depth due to bring dragged down into deeper layers of their dreams. Azul wants to be accepted by his peers and is insecure about his lack of athleticism (as one reason why he was bullied was due to not being able to swim as fast as other merchildren). So of course the surface level of his dream makes him a star athlete beloved by all. The explanation offered in the game is that Azul’s past of being bullied never happened, so he’s able to be popular and confident. The whole “his plan succeeds, he steals everyone’s magic, he takes over NRC” thing happens in the second layer of his dream, which, like all previous OB boys, is a dark display of what would have happened had they not been stopped. And finally, Azul being a bully is nothing new—we saw this behavior back in book 3 as well. He became the very thing he despised back when he was a victim, and now he continues to perpetuate that cycle of bullying in an effort to affirm confidence in his “cool” new identity. I think the dream was very intentional in trying to entice him with the promises of power and acceptance. That, in turn, shows us that the desire to be a successful businessman (the thing many of us thought would be his dream) actually hinges on Azul’s longing to be accepted. His struggle with his identity and how it depends on how others perceive him was portrayed. I’m just not sure if the idea was executed in the best way, since it sounds like the message may have gotten muddled along the way and it definitely requires some reading between the lines.

I noticed that you cited my original post where I detailed my concerns about book 7 and how that has influenced your own thoughts 💦 I hope that it just… informed or supplemented your opinions rather than suddenly altered them to be more “in line” with my own. I never want to be the kind of person who claims their interpretations are the “most correct” I’m not Riddle’s mom, okay?? 😭

About Jade and Floyd’s dreams, I feel like those are less heavily critiqued because they, by virtue of not being an OB boy, have fewer stakes and are predominantly there to be silly. It’s like contrasting Epel wanting to be big and buff to Vil literally murdering Neige; there is just no comparison. Even then, I wouldn’t necessarily say Floyd’s and Jade’s parts received “all the budget”… They seemed like pretty basic storylines to me, perhaps dressed up slightly better thanks to the new undersea assets and bioluminescence reveal.

My issues with Azul’s dream segment is how… ham-fisted several elements were. All of it, for the sake of sticking to the pattern already established earlier. It feels so unnatural and stilted because you just KNOW it’s written this way to fit the template 😔 For example:

Why did Jade become SO dumb when they were trying to figure out where Azul had moved the contracts? He’s supposed to be much smarter than how he is presented here. Wouldn’t his immediate thought be to check Azul’s room? But NO, Jade can’t come to that conclusion on his own because we need a contrived reason for each student to use their UM before the ending :/ so Jade has to waste time using his UM to get the truth out of his dream!self.

Jade and Floyd sitting around and going “………….” while they watch Azul make an ass of himself was such a time waster. Clearly you have enough brains to know what would trigger him, so why are you not acting on it???? Oh yeah, because we need to show more cool stuff in this dream like La Grotta!

Azul literally turns to the camera and tells his OB self, “Unlike you, I’ve changed.” It’s way too on the nose with what it’s trying to communicate. It breaks immersion and makes it so obvious the characters are outright stating their character development to make sure we all “get it”.

What was the purpose of Azul using his UM to get the mermobs to sign a contract to give all their power to him???💀 Bro can just say “excuse me, I forgot something back at the Coral Rush field” and they’d probably let him pass. But again, Azul isn’t allowed to do that because he MUST use his UM before the ending. Because Azul’s UM requires that another person willingly agree and sign a contract, his mandatory UM use before the grand finale feels particularly forced.

How many times do I need to listen to Idia/Ortho or other characters warn us about how we can’t have too many people dream hopping or else bugs might happen or Malleus might notice… It’s almost like the devs realize how long this is being dragged out for so they have to remind us every so often.

Why did no one understand that the anemones being “fashionable” under the sea was obviously a lie??? At the very least, YUU should have noticed it’s a symbol used for mockery and derision because they saw their own friends and countless peers forced to wear those in book 3!!

Not only that, but we get such poorly constructed explanations to keep characters behind while a new character goes with the main group. Why don’t you just leave them all behind once they’re awake then?? Oh yeah, because we NEED to drag along the current student into the next dream so everyone gets a cameo. It’s so inorganic how the characters are chosen to stay behind, Jamil just conveniently volunteers himself while we also listen to another spiel from Silver and Sebek about how their training makes them more stable than the twins to keep dream hopping.

Azul’s dream isn’t fantastic, but it… works (that’s the full extent of how nice I can be to it). It’s cohesive enough. But god, did I dislike how rigid it was and certain parts (like the twins being dum) rubbed me the wrong way… Nothing happens because it’s natural, it happens because the script demands it happens. To quote another post:

If anyone has played the first Ace Attorney game, this feels a LOT like that part in case 2 where Phoenix is too dumb to check the back of a receipt until Mia literally tells him to. The [characters have] to actively be made stupider because the scenario calls for it, and that really rubs me the wrong way.