#like solo playing is fun but genuinely having so much fun making silly comments with my friends

[bidolatry]

never much really cared too much about this before but like. this year i have grown such a fondness and enjoyment for both watching my friends play games and playing games with/for my friends. its very fun. the comments you can make on a singleplayer game youve never considered cause youre laughing and having fun with a friend. unmatched :]

[wincore]

childhood dreams | mark lee

pairing: singer!mark x reader

words: 3.3k

summary: you’ve been thinking of childhood dreams lately, and it seems like mark’s been doing the same.

genre: childhood friends to strangers to lovers(?), fluff, angst

warnings: none

song rec(s): childhood dreams - seraphine (cover) [orig. ARY]

a/n: im obsessed with this cover and i need to write cheesy drabbles to prevent writing droughts so here u go friends 👁👁 

Mark sits at his desk, bouncing his leg in compulsive habit as he has for the past half an hour. Your presence doesn’t make much of a difference to him—and it would be far more disheartening if there wasn’t more than half a decade of unsaid things between the two of you. With notebook pages crumpled on the floor, a mild scent of musk in the room and Mark’s refusal to look you in the eye, you don’t think this reunion could get any worse.

Or it could, you tell yourself when Mark clenches another page in his hand, glancing at you before turning back to the neatly bundled pages on his desk. He looks uncomfortable, and discomfort wasn’t something you ever recalled in your friendship.

“Mark,” you call. “Why don’t you take a break?”

He looks up at you again, doe eyes and rosy cheeks, and you wonder where it went wrong—where you could have gone wrong. There’s no explanation and there hasn’t been one since tenth grade. He used to look you in the eye back then at least, and joke with you, study with you, hang out with you. Is it wrong to say you were best friends then? You can’t really tell right now, as you cross your legs, withering into your own being on his bed that looks like it hasn’t been made for three days. Some things don’t change, after all.

And some things do.

“Okay,” he says, pushing himself from the wooden desk, which now looks a little lonely. He turns his chair to you, eyes still trained on his lap and occasionally shifting to your form. Dark, messy mop of hair and a face much more grown than you remember—he’s lovely to look at.

You’ve never seen him agree to a break when you were kids. The memory that surfaces makes you hold back a smile. The school library closed at 6 p.m. and Mark had all the books you needed for finals week by four. The sky used to be a warmer colour and so did your room, though you can’t quite remember the colour of your walls. You remember the hot pink ink you used to doodle with though, and Mark’s tired complaints when you wouldn’t let him study. Half of your doodles were inevitably on his notebook pages.

“You know, I didn’t think we’d meet again this way,” you start, trying to smile.

“Yeah,” he says, opening his mouth to continue but closing it quickly. 

There’s a quiet pause, filled in by the rustling of leaves and the reminiscence of winter winds outside. Late January nights aren’t close enough to winter and yet still, far from spring. You think of third grade, all of a sudden, of the first snow you saw and Mark Lee’s terribly postured snowman. 

“I… didn’t know you were songwriting for idols,” he says, with hesitant punctuation.

You chuckle, looking down at your feet. 

“I- I don’t mean it like that- I mean- I—”

“Mark,” you interrupt the mess that’s leaving his mouth. “It’s okay. You didn’t say anything wrong.”

He scratches the back of his head, looking a little guilty. You can’t really pinpoint exactly what’s going on in the space inside his head and it bothers you more than it should. You have been apart for a long, long time. You’re not as entwined as you used to be, not two peas in a pod anymore and not a matching set.

It feels colder, even in Mark’s modest apartment room.

“We’re friends,” you say. “Since college. Sohee and I. She wanted to sing and I wanted to write.”

“Oh. That’s neat.”

You chuckle. “You get to do both. I’m kind of jealous, you know? You’re talented. You’ve always been good at everything.”

“Oh, come on. That’s not- No way.”

You roll your eyes. “Some people see modesty as incompetence, Mark.”

He blinks, something rekindling inside his eyes, you tell with the way he stares at you.

“Oh my god. Mrs Wilsbury used to tell us that.”

The two of you laugh. It’s not particularly the thought of old Mrs Wilsbury, with her sharp words and shriveled face, but the spark of recognition in Mark’s boyish laugh that makes you feel a trembling inside your chest. 

“She was horrible,” you say, pulling a face.

“She was nice to me though,” Mark defends.

“Everyone was nice to you.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows and you roll your eyes at him trying hard to remember your high school days. The expressions he used to make haven't changed much; he’s just grown up and into his larger, masculine frame. It’s endearing now, more than ever.

He gasps suddenly and scrambles back to his desk, scribbling in a bunch of lines onto the paper. You lean back on the bed, sighing. It’s supposed to be the two of you writing verses but the way Mark works differs so much from yours that you decided it’d be better for him to do his thing while you’ll be the supporting cast. You don’t really mind when you’ve missed his words so much. You don’t really mind if it leads to him.

“Sorry,” he says when he’s done, a little awkward in tone.

A part of you feels sad for him, however. You feel sad that he’s had to work alone all these years as a solo singer-songwriter. It can’t be easy. You know it’s not easy. But Mark—he has a way of making dreams come true. Every kid dreams and yet, your best friend from years ago is living his. Perhaps, it makes things better, easier to look at.

You glance at Mark again, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration and lips pressed together. Something tells you he wants to scowl right now.

“Hey,” you call again, feeling comfortable on his bed now that it’s warm. “What was your debut song again? Dreamer?”

You know the answer. You just don’t want to give in to the feeling that’s calling for proximity again. Things change, and sometimes—most times—they’re out of your hands. 

You should be worried about nosy reporters right now. You in Mark Lee’s own room would give anyone attuned to celebrity news a sickening, sugary treat. A few headlines pop in and you shove them aside. You were surprised by the offer but apparently, his studio merges with his bedroom. (It did take an awkward explanation on his part as to why he invited you to his bedroom.)

Embarrassingly, you wish some of those headlines would come true. Your feelings haven’t changed since you were fifteen. 

His walls are blue like the sky and there’s more than enough lights but he only uses the one at his desk. It’s like a little sun, rays caressing his cheeks, nose and lips with a warm, orange touch. You would make fun of the gamer chair but he said it’s from Lee Donghyuck before you could even start breaking the ice you’re standing on. You wish the warmth would return between the two of you, the faint memory of holding hands in second grade floating in.

“It was Dreamer, yeah.” Mark’s voice breaks you out of your old teenage daydreams. You chuckle to force the heat off your cheeks.

A sudden impulse takes over your cold fingers and you take the acoustic guitar by his bed, playing the opening chords to his debut song. Mark’s eyes widen at your action and you give him your biggest smile—it’s like back then again. It used to be Mark on the bed though, with fingers strumming his worn out guitar and kind smile and honey eyes. You pause your playing. Mark’s still smiling at you in awe and you pat the spot beside you on the bed.

All of a sudden, you desperately wish for the past even if it isn’t meant to be recalled this way. 

You start playing again and Mark mumbles the beginning of the song, unsure, eliciting an annoyed sound from you. You stop playing and glower at him.

“Those aren’t the lyrics,” you say with mock distress. “You’re ruining the song.”

“It’s my song,” he responds with an incredulous laugh.

You begin again, and though Mark has to google his own lyrics, you spend an hour or so figuring out beats and tunes that vaguely resemble feelings you don’t feel anymore and thoughts you only remember empty decorated shells of. You’re not fifteen anymore, or fourteen or thirteen. Someday is now today. You’re not fifteen anymore but being fifteen is a part of you. The music floats seamlessly.

Your cheeks heat up when you think of the last time you met him, when you said you liked him and laughed it off in the awkward teenage fashion. You pray he doesn’t remember that embarrassing parting. It would be too silly an ending.

That’s why when you heard his name from Sohee’s manager, you couldn’t help yourself. After all, old friends should meet up once in their lives, right? You should close the door you left open if you can’t set foot into the house.

“Okay, but I genuinely didn’t know you write songs for Park Sohee,” Mark says, legs crossed on his bed as he leans in a little towards you. The dim lights of his room make his face look more rugged than usual, the tired lines spread across his face. You wonder if he’s kept up his habit of ditching breaks.

“I’m surprised you’re not in a boyband,” you reply, leaning against the wall. “And that your bed is this small.”

Mark stammers out a garbled explanation and you gasp.

“Wait- wait, oh my god. Don’t tell me… don’t tell me you’ve never had anyone over! For, you know...”

The comment runs a deep flush through his cheeks and you giggle at his expression.

“I- I- I just- I just didn’t have the time,” he says, biting down his lower lip possibly at his own awkwardness.

“Looks like you’re still a loser, Mark Lee,” you say, smiling smugly.

He narrows his eyes at you. “Looks like you’re still mean to me, (name).”

“Oh lord, when was I ever mean to you?”

“When were you not?”

You stick out his tongue at him and he laughs, relaxing against the sound of you and him—old friends. It could have been this way; it should have been this way.

“Why did you move away?” is what you want to ask. What was so urgent that you were left staring at the ghosts of his figure in his empty house, in his empty room and at the empty classroom desk? It’s not anger but a soft sense of regret, boosted by his quiet breathing and tired, thoughtful eyes. You could have stayed this way but instead, there’s a rift between the two of you. There’s years and years, and time isn’t a product to sell back and forth—you can’t buy those years back. Your chest hurts but you clutch the feeling tightly in your hands, afraid it might escape.

“This collab means a lot to Sohee,” you say, after a while. “You know, after the hiatus she’s been on.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I totally get it,” he says, sitting up straight and sobering from the bubble of you two. “We should get back to work.”

You hum. “You mean me staring at you tear all your hair out?”

Mark reddens in the face. “I’m not usually like this. Just saying. I need to be... inspired, I guess.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to revive your soundcloud account from when you were twelve,” you say, leaning back against the soft material of the bed.

“You’re making fun of me again,” he says, the smile lines on his face deepening.

You let out a smiling sigh. It’s just so easy. The thought still eats away at you, however, of what could’ve been. If you were younger, you wouldn’t care for this, you suppose. You’d just get along like nothing had passed at all.

“(name).” His voice sounds deeper and softer. “It’s nice having you back. To talk to, you know? It’s been a long time.”

Your face must have fallen because he straightens, eyes wide and wavering lips trying to form words. You sigh, looking away and see his form inch closer, some sort of fuzz leaving his mouth. 

“Mark. Mark.” You shake your head. “I think I’ve been a bad friend. I don’t know why I didn’t keep in touch—”

“Hey,” he interrupts, looking you in the eye. “It’s on me too.”

If you were younger, you would have confessed over and over again in ways private to everyone but you. 

You nod instead. If your childhood together was a prelude, there’s quite the long, awkward silence following it. You have to start the music soft and slow.

“It worked out though, didn’t it?” you ask, looking up to find his face nearer to yours than you would have expected.

When he tilts his head, you explain further, “We’re both doing fine, right? We- We did things, got our life and plans set and… now we’re here.”

Mark leans away from you. “I- I guess.”

There’s a pause, and you know there’s a lie fluttering between the two of you.

“I… I still feel like I’m running,” he says, a weary undertone carrying his voice forth. “I know I’ve done things… achieved things and I still- I still feel like I’m running a marathon. There’s still something out of reach.”

You scoot closer to him and offer a smile, your hand resting on his shoulder. 

“You can say you’re tired. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Thanks, (name). I appreciate it. I just don’t know where I’m going anymore.”

You give his shoulder a gentle squeeze before pulling him into a hug. You can’t hear his breathing over the sound of your pulse drumming in your ears but it’s warm, at the very least. His arms wrap around you after a few moments, heavy but comforting when his hand holds the back of your head, just like old times. The fabric of his mellow green hoodie is warm with his skin and you bury your face into it deeper.

“I’ve worked alone for a really long time,” he whispers. “It’s nice like this. I wish… I sometimes wish we could go back.”

You giggle, looking back up. “We could build a snowman for old times’ sake.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows. “There’s literally no snow. Besides, you just want to make fun of my snowman. Again.”

“You remember that?”

“Of course.”

His cheeks colour, one of his hands leaving your torso to scratch the back of his head. Suddenly aware of the lack of space, you pull back slightly to a more decent enough distance. Mark frowns but he rests his palm against the bedsheet, leaning his torso onto it.

“You could also let me draw in your songbook for the memories,” you suggest, smiling wide. “In hot pink.”

Mark scoffs. “Oh no. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“I’m not as immature as you think, Mark.” You roll your eyes. “It’s not like I’m going to draw a bunch of hot pink dicks.”

Mark opens his mouth and closes it. “I wasn’t- I wasn’t suggesting that.”

One look from you, however, and he realizes his defeat. It’s almost the same look as the one in spring break after tenth grade, except much happier and more carefree. Your eyes shift elsewhere when you remember the argument you laughed off, details lost but the gist was clear. You acted as though it didn’t matter if he moved away—something about that happy-go-lucky persona you’d developed. Oh god, you were an idiot.

The silence isn’t welcome. There’s no rhythm, no melodies in moments like these—moments in between things that should be happening and won’t ever happen. Mark takes a sudden precise intake of breath, making you look at him. His eyes are rich and resolute, and somehow as pure as they were when he was younger.

“When you- when you said you liked me,” Mark begins, and you hold your breath. “When we were fifteen, you said you liked me. Before I moved. I- I don’t really know if you were joking but… Do you- do you think you still would? If we started over?”

You look at him, his eyes unable to meet yours and shoulders tense, and find yourself at a loss for words and for breath. 

“Sorry,” he says quickly. “Stupid question.”

“I- I do- I would.”

Mark looks up at you reluctantly, almond eyes shimmering with some sort of emotion—innocent and curious as though you’re fifteen again.

You cough awkwardly and he looks away in a similar panicked fashion. This isn’t as romantic as you thought it would be and you almost think about taking your words back.

No. Not again. 

“I would,” you continue, dragging the syllable. “If you maybe asked me out on a date, at least.”  

Mark blinks, slack jawed like he’s seen the birth of a phoenix, or something equally dreamlike.

“Yes! I mean, wait- I- uh…”

He clears his throat, cheeks flushing with scarlet heat. “Do you- do you wanna get coffee tomorrow? No, wait- it’s a Monday. Th-This Saturday? …I’m doing this all wrong, aren’t I?”

You can’t hold back your laughter anymore, clutching your stomach at the sheepish look on Mark’s face and his slouched shoulders, much like the ones you were used to seeing as a stressed, sleep-deprived teenager. 

“We can make time after this project.” You smile.

“We have to wait until after—no, I mean, that’s totally cool.”

The defeated grin makes you laugh some more. Your eyes drift to the deserted work desk and notebook paper, and you gasp. Dawn will arrive at this rate, crashing in waves.

“We really should get back to work,” you tell him, your fingers against his chest. “Twelve year old us would be very disappointed in us now.”

The two of you laugh in shared memory, of the time when romance was as appealing as ice-cream dropped on the sidewalk. With eyes full of stars and a head full of clouds, where do you go? Right back to each other, you think. 

“We’ve come a long way,” you marvel. “We used to think of a different future every five minutes. Me, more than you, perfect poster boy.”

“You wanted to be an astronaut,” he laughs.

“And you wanted to be a swimmer. Said you’d even swim in a lake in Russia. In winter.”

“Yeah, I remember,” he says, eyes faraway. “We had all those childhood dreams.”

“You’ve reached one of them,” you respond, laughing.

There’s a short pause. Back then, everything was visionary. What the two of you had in mind had evolved, molted, shed its skin but now you’re here, in each other’s arms again—in a way that you haven't been before.

“It’s two,” he whispers, and the next thing you know, his lips are on yours and his arms are around your waist, pulling you closer. 

He pulls back in wide-eyed, careful consideration. “I- I meant to ask first.”

You respond with a kiss, his mouth warm against yours. 

He pulls back again.

“That was cheesy, wasn’t it?”

“Just shut up and kiss me, oh my god.”

You can’t help it, smiling against his lips and making him laugh at the feeling. Your finger brushes over the mole on his neck, unchanging in the same way he still uses too many hand gestures to talk or the way he still likes to lean his head on your shoulder. 

There are unchanged parts of him so vivid in your memories that some time through the night, you wonder if you’re dreaming. Then a terribly executed joke later, you have to nudge him with your elbow or smack his arm—and it falls into place in your reality again. Maybe you could’ve saved time; but it’s so much sweeter this way.

[thatbanjobusiness]

One of the reasons I love watching Flatt & Scruggs and the Foggy Mountain Boys perform (instead of just listening) is because you see how much they enjoy the music and the company they’re in. 

This group of musicians (Lester Flatt, Earl Scruggs, Jake Tullock, Josh Graves, Curly Seckler, and Paul Warren) played with one another for double-digit numbers of years. Even though there was some turnover and coming in-and-out, these guys played with one another tons.

Below Read More cut: pictures labeling who’s who.

Lester Flatt | guitar and lead vocals Played in this band 1948-1969 (21 years*☆)

Lester was the lead vocalist, rhythm guitarist, and emcee for the group. As his name indicates, he’s one half of the Flatt & Scruggs duo. He was always welcoming and homely when he talked to audiences. It’s hard to get some of the humor from him in gifs because lots of his jokes were verbal.

Some reasons I love watching Lester are: 

He usually looks so relaxed and makes me feel relaxed.

When he gives introductions for the other bandmates, it’s usually a bunch of clever insults. For instance, “He represents Knoxville, Tennessee. If you’re not acquainted with the area, he goes to show that you can raise just about whatever they want to down there.”

When the announcer of the show, T. Tommy, introduces Lester, it’s usually some sort of joke or insult, too. The pure delight that pops on Lester’s face at a good joke is beautiful.

He straight out says into the microphone when someone makes a mistake. So much for “musical performance professionalism means pretending you did it right.” XD

Earl Scruggs | banjo (default), lead guitar (often enough), and baritone vocals Played in this band 1948-1969 (21 years☆)

Earl tends to keep a solemn poker face when performing. Hilariously, while he was known for being a very shy man of few words, and while Earl let Lester do ALL the talking in their performances... in these TV Shows, Earl is the number one most likely person to toss comments at bandmates in the middle of a performance.

Some reasons I love watching Earl are:

His comments mid-song are genuinely hilarious. I swear he’s sometimes trying to troll his bandmates to lose their composure in the middle of the song. It’s things like a bandmate singing a line complaining about their romantic interest, and Earl piping up, “Who? Me?” I don’t think he was trying to make it sound gay, but does it sometimes sound gay? Yes.

There’s a quiet charisma in how he plays, straitlaced, staring straight at the camera. He was a very humble guy, but you can feel the indisputable authority of his banjo mastery in his posture and notes.

Every single time they switch up the show (musicians playing alternate instruments, guests coming in), you can tell Earl loves it.

I may or may not have developed a celebrity crush on him. Shut up.

Burkett “Josh” Graves | dobro (usually), bass, rarely guitar, lead vocals (on duets with Jake) Played in this band 1955-1969 (14 years*)

Josh is one of the comedians for the band. When Jake was in the band, the two of them would work together as a duo, both to sing fun novelty songs together, and as a comedian act. Josh would play the straight man to Jake.

Some reasons I love watching Josh are:

He is an open book of emotions. I’d say he’s the easiest to smile and laugh of the group. I saw one song where, the entire performance, he was on the verge of breaking down laughing. Earl was off-screen making stupid jokes after every line Josh sung. Every time Josh started to regain composure, Earl said something new and broke the guy down again.

He is an extremely, extremely talented dobro player with great technical skill. Josh pioneered a new style of playing the instrument that hadn’t been done before. He combined multiple different ideas of musicianship together, including a lot of three-fingered banjo technique.

He’s very handsome, especially when he sings. 

English “Jake” Pierce | bass and high baritone vocals Played in this band 1954-1955, 1958-1969 (12 years*)

For those of you who are like, “What the fuck are high baritone vocals?” this means that Jake is singing the baritone part but up an octave. So, Jake is singing the highest part, higher even than the tenor. Jake’s voice is a distinct, shrill, piercing sound and I love it. Jake is one half of the comedy duo and always plays the rascal. From the stories I’ve heard, Jake and Josh and their shenanigans were not that different offstage.

Some reasons I love watching Jake are:

Usually when he’s not doing a comedy routine or a novelty song, Jake has a serious expression on his face. However, he’s got a specific invested drive to him when he plays the music. And then other times, he’ll decide to be silly, such as the wild running across the screen you see in my last gif.

Jake and Josh have this perfect chemistry to them. They know one another so well and you can feel it in their body language.

Jake has a really good cadence and sense of timing when it comes to his comedy delivery.

It’s always exciting when a bass player gets a solo. That’s just a rule of bluegrass. And Jake has an aggressive sound I find unique.

John “Curly” Seckler | mandolin (usually), guitar, tenor vocals Played in this band 1949-1951, 1952-1958, 1958-1962 (12 years*)

Sorry I didn’t have any gifs with Curly in the forefront this round (though around the time I took this screenshot, Curly stuck his tongue out at Earl, responding to something Earl said). Curly tends to chill in the background a lot for these shows, playing rhythm mandolin and singing harmony. He’s one of the main vocalists for the group, doing duos, trios, and quartets. He’ll also pop in as a featured soloist, which is always a treat.

Some reasons I love watching Curly are:

I already mentioned the featured soloist, but I mean... those are a treat. He has a unique, simultaneously soft and piercing voice. Whether he’s singing harmony or a solo, his voice is something I pay attention to a lot. I remember reading in his biography that at one early point in his career, he was called “Radio’s Gift to Women.” AMAZING.

His mandolin solos are rare, and the group tended to tease Curly off-screen about his mandolin playing. But it’s legitimately fun when the mandolin FINALLYYYYYY gets featured in this band.

Paul Warren | fiddle, guitar (almost never), and bass vocals Played in this band 1954-1969 (15 years*)

Paul is the fiddler that made me want to fiddle. His style of playing is the old-time hoedown style, filled with double-stops and finger flurries.

Some reasons I love watching Paul are:

HE IS SO FREAKING BOINGY!!!! BOINGY BOI!!!! Paul’s a chronic foot tapper. In live performance recordings, you can sometimes hear him thumping away. I heard that during rehearsals, Earl tried to get Paul to stop by standing on Paul’s foot... but that would only result in Paul’s other foot tapping. Eventually Earl had to give up. Paul also throws himself up and down, bouncing energetically in the direction his bow is going.

You can tell how much he likes going fast.

I think Paul is one of the first people to laugh and gawk when another bandmate makes a mistake. Maybe I have selective memory on this, though.

* Anyone with an asterisk (aka everyone except Earl) played in Lester Flatt’s follow-up band, too, Lester Flatt and the Nashville Grass.

☆ Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs played with one another in the band that came before this. They met as fellow musicians playing for Bill Monroe and the Blue Grass Boys. They were in the band together for over two years.

[nandoor]

(so i may have went & wrote a short lil scene set after 2x05 / colin’s promotion where nandor actually apologizes to nadja for, y’know, burning her village down...)

...

Nandor had always enjoyed Nadja’s company—and, even now, despite the wedge that he had inadvertently pushed between them, he could not deny that Nadja was dear to him and had been one of his only friends for nearly a century now. He had originally gotten along with Nadja before warming up to Laszlo, her fun, easygoing nature and charisma tethering Nandor to her long before he even realized that he saw her as a genuine friend. Unlike with most vampires he encountered (though he was loathe to admit it), there had rarely been an awkward moment between them—very little fazed Nadja and for that, he was grateful.

She took each of his eccentricities in stride, even encouraging some of his more newfound interests. A passion for taxidermy, for instance, was something Nadja and Laszlo shared with him—his boar, Barry, had been a one-off acquisition when he had taken it from a victim’s home, unable to part with the smiling beast and its ivory tusks. When he finally got around to displaying it, he was surprised to see that Nadja, inspired by him, had taken the initiative to move her own taxidermy animals from storage and placed them in her bedroom, enshrining them in glass as if she were making a museum of sorts. Later, at Nadja’s behest, he too added to the décor of the shared living places within the house, his other favorite contribution being a grizzly bear that resided near the fireplace in the music room.

In short, Nadja cared about him—even at his worst, when he knew he was being as petulant as an unruly child, Nadja was there to be a voice of reason. She never lied to him, her blunt honesty a refreshing change from his time as a warlord, where honey dripped from everyone’s lips and no one, not even his own flesh and blood, were brave enough to disagree with him, to steer him off the path of destruction he seemed hell-bent on walking until it was too late. Nadja, in her own sharp but well-meaning way, could get him to snap out of any downward, self-destructive spiral with a well-placed kick at his shin or barbed comment that ultimately revealed a genuine truth about himself that he hadn’t realized before. 

She—along with Laszlo, if he were being honest—tethered him to the present when he felt like slipping into the vast ocean of time, his memories as deep and treacherous as a sinkhole.  Loneliness was a dangerous thing for vampires, after all, and while the ache remained, it did lessen when he was around his housemates. And it was hard to feel lonely or out of place when he was sandwiched between the pair, some bawdy comedy playing out on the computer device in his lap, courtesy of Guillermo. 

Perhaps that was why his heart now felt as if it was being skewered on a pike every time she looked at him with a cold, disappointed gaze. Metaphorically, of course, as he had told Guillermo; he’d been stabbed plenty of times on the battlefield before his turning that he knew this pain was different. The cut of a blade was a severe, sharp pain that brought the world into focus, everything just a little too loud and bright for the brief moment before the blood began to pour out. But all nonfatal wounds would eventually heal, scar tissue deadening the nerves there, the pain now a memory made physical, something carried in secret underneath his clothes. 

But this pain? He could not hide it—how much the guilt did eat away at him once he tucked away some of his bravado and pride. Alone in the dark confines of his fur-lined coffin, Nandor had spent the better part of the day wracking his memory, searching through centuries of memory for the mental image of Nadja’s little village, for the yellow flag that was burning in the painting.

He could not find it. And, though he would never admit it to anyone else, he felt a pang of shame at not being able to remember the conquest of Nadja’s village. It was just another pillage, another place he did not bother to learn the name of before it went up in a plume of smoke. At some point in his time as a soldier, the number of dead, the lives destroyed, stopped having a meaning. He killed because he was good at it, because it was what everyone expected of him, because destruction came as naturally to him as breathing.

I’m ruining it, he realized, stepping out of his coffin unaided just after dusk. I could lose Nadja if I don’t do something soon.

When he finds Nadja alone in the fancy room, he immediately goes to her, knowing it was better to act now while he still had the courage to do so. The words tumble out of his mouth in a flood of sincerity as he sat across from her, voice strained with the guilt he could no longer pretend didn’t exist. “Nadja… I’m sorry about what I did to your village. Truly. Is there anything I can do that will make you feel better?”

Perched on one of the armchairs, Nadja raised a brow, placing the book down on the table beside her. She crossed her leg, fingers lacing over her skirts as she tilted her head in thought.

“Well, I’d like if you’d rip your heart out and serve it on a platter. A fancy, golden platter. None of that crock you’d display at a garage sale.”

“…I’m not sure I can do that,” Nandor eventually replied, gaze glued to the floor. He didn’t dare look up, not ready to see the disgust in Nadja’s eyes yet again. Surely she hated him. He couldn’t even blame her; it was thanks to his pillaging that her village became a home to inhospitable creatures such as vampires, why Nadja lost her human life to a vampire masquerading as a snake, latching its teeth into the soft flesh of her neck.

Nadja bared her fangs in a pitying sneer, reaching over to cup Nandor’s cheek with a gentleness that confused him. Her touch itself almost startled him—it wasn’t that Nadja didn’t show physical affection, but it was usually much more subdued and quick. A pat on the shoulder, a brief touch of his knee, a playful shove, even a lazy hand trailing through his hair after a night spent inebriated on drug blood. This close, Nandor was forced to look at Nadja’s face, to see the small curl of her lips as she clicked her tongue loudly, thumb stroking the skin just above his cheekbone.

“You stupid little donkey, I was kidding. I forgive you. So stop with the pouty face. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Really? You’re not doing the leg-pulling?” 

Nadja nodded. “Yes. I know you can’t change what happened—I just wanted an apology.”

Nandor brightened instantly. “So we are okay-A again?”

“For now,” Nadja agreed, pulling her hand away. It took a great deal of effort for Nandor to remain seated, the stirrings of loneliness once again dredged up in the face of possibly losing one of his only friends. “Really, Nandor, I was more upset that you hid the truth from me. I thought we all agreed to be honest with each other, even if it may hurt at first.”

“I just didn’t want you to hate me,” Nandor admitted. “I should have burned that painting long ago—but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t know why, but maybe it was because I actually wanted you to find it one day.” 

Nadja chuckled dryly. “How very stereotypically mannish of you. Instead of talking about your feelings, you decided to hide them until they nearly got us killed by Colin Robinson. Next time, just bloody tell me what’s going on in that pink mushy brain of yours so we don’t die… again.”

“Well, when you put it like that it does seem rather foolish.” Nandor replied, grimacing in a way that only the tips of his fangs were visible. 

For a while, the pair lapsed into a companionable silence. A tension Nandor hadn’t realized he’d been holding in his shoulders began to ease away as he leaned back in his chair, sighing.

Nadja pressed a manicured nail to her chin, brows furrowing. “Now that I think about it… even though you did destroy my village, you did this while you were human. And vampire Nandor isn’t the same as human Nandor, is he?”

“That is true,” he replied, hands placed gingerly over his knees as he toyed with the ring on his left thumb. “You could say that I was a different person back then. Almost like I didn’t do it at all!”

Nadja, agile as a viper, swung her leg out to kick Nandor in the shin.“No, that was still definitely you, you silly, cowardly weasel of a vampire! You can’t pawn off your guilt to your human ghost self!”

“Oww! Okay, fair enough. Yeesh,” Nandor admitted, rubbing at his leg with a sour look which quickly morphed into thinly veiled fondness. They would be alright--it would take time and genuine effort on his part, but hopefully he’d regain Nadja’s trust eventually. And I’ve got all the time in the world to wait, he thought to himself. When he smiled warmly at Nadja he was pleased to see her smile back, fangs shining in the glow of the candlelight. 

Unbeknownst to either vampire, Colin Robinson hovered patiently at the door, eyes gleaming blue for a brief moment before returning to their usual color. He gave an unhappy look to the cameras.

“Well, there goes my all-you-can-eat buffet,” he began, shaking his head in disappointment. “But hey, buffets come and go. Vampire roommates, on the other hand, are forever. So I can’t say I’m all that upset—besides, this just gives me more of a reason to make Guillermo listen to my interpretive jazz solos which I’ve recorded on tape for everyone’s auditory pleasure.”

Not even the boom mic operator could resist giving a weary groan at the energy vampire’s words. 

[excusemyobsessions]

We Got Married with Gray

Gray

Word count: 1900 words

Scenario: From anonymous: “hi! may i request a one shot with gray like the tv show ‘we got married’. female gender and she’s an actress etc and they end up falling in love with each other, that kind of stuff..”

Genre: One shot, Soft, Fluff, Female specific

Little note: This took me so long to type out omg haha And it’s really long too… Sorry for that. I get carried away sometimes. Enjoy!

"Can I touch you?" Gray asked in a low tone, leaning a little closer to you so you'd hear him.

"You're supposed to." You answered, amused by his politeness, one eyebrow lifting.

He was clearly embarrassed, mumbling a "right" as he stood up straight, one hand lifting to the back of his neck. That wasn't the first time you'd been asked something along those lines. Some actors and models were more polite than others, especially rookies who were still fresh from training and unsure of what they should and shouldn't do. However, the way he talked to you made it seem like he was somewhat nervous.

"Do you always ask your models if you can touch them?" You asked, catching a glimpse of your makeup artist rushing towards you by the corner of your eye and therefore preparing yourself for her.

"Sometimes..." He answered, also turning towards his own makeup artist when she rushed towards him as well. "…But none of them was about to become my fictitious wife. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot." He told you, leaning forward a little bit while having his makeup touched up.

Wasn't he the most charming? Suddenly you were glad he had chosen you as his fake wife.

"I think we're starting off on the right foot, actually." You said, watching him turn his head towards you for a second to offer you a soft smile.

You had been invited to be a part of the cast of We Got Married with none other than Gray himself. The charming, handsome rapper and producer who everyone wanted to know. You knew who he was damn well. In fact, you were a fan of his work too.

Gray, well, Seonghwa, was very gentle with you. At all times. It wasn’t just in that initial photoshoot. As time went on, he was most simply, and as you had come to understand, most sincerely gentle. You two were utterly comfortable with each other too which was even better. It was like getting to know someone casually with the added aspect that you two had to act extra lovey dovey every now and then.

 The production arranged you two to have your “first meet up” at a movie theater. On the large screen, it was your latest movie playing and you were the last one to enter the room. As you silently stepped into the room, you overheard him analyzing the movie, well, analyzing the actresses in the movie. One by one he wondered if any would be his fake wife and, much to your surprise, he even added he’d like it to be you. You couldn’t lie, your heart even skipped a beat.

You weren’t exactly the most famous actress out there, but you were slowly and steadily making a name for yourself. You’d been highly praised for your most recent work as well which was playing on the screen right before your eyes. You were a little embarrassed, seeing your future fake husband sitting there, watching you on the big screen… especially since your character wasn’t exactly the kindest in that movie.

You made your way down the room quietly, holding back a few giggles and as discreetly as possible, you sat down right behind him. Even in the darkness of the room, you couldn’t lie, he was quite handsome. You even mentioned it in an interview with the crew later on which stirred up the viewers in the funniest of the ways.

“Oh, that was mean.” He commented, watching a scene in the movie in which your character was indeed quite mean.

“Right? But the acting was quite decent, wasn’t it?” You finally said, with a cheeky grin.

Seonghwa who was so into the movie at the moment seemed genuinely startled by your voice, turning around with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, did you jump out of the screen?” Were his first words towards you.

You let out a genuine laugh. Gentle him stood up right away, bowing to you, making you flustered, bowing down deeper to him as you two exchanged proper greetings.

 Your time together on the show was quite fun. He was just fun to be around. Not that he was funny all the time, but he was quite chill. One of your first dates was in his studio, Gray Ground. The comments had been the most amusing, saying he had invited you over to show off and win you over. Regardless, it had worked. Not only did he indeed win you over, but you had spent a really nice afternoon, emerged in his talent and creativity. He played for you and showed you how he worked and even let you try out some of his equipment. You couldn’t help but wonder if he had ever done that to a girl whom he had serious intentions of winning over. He most likely had, right?

 Finding a house you two liked was surprisingly easy as well. It was a two-story apartment, with only the bedroom on the top floor. It was quite spacious. And the décor was lovely, in soft browns and beige. He cooked you dinner on your first night at the house and you hung around him, helping him with tasting because he really wouldn’t let you do anything else.

“You know, I feel really awkward just sitting around.” You confessed after he led you to one of the tall stools that decorated the counter.

“Isn’t it romantic to have your husband cook for you though?” He responded with a cheeky smile, returning to his cooking.

“…It is.” You answered, unable to help the smile that curved your lips.

Much to the viewers content, you resumed to placing your elbows upon the counter, resting your chin between your palms as you watched your handsome cook skillfully cooking his pasta dish. The sweet smiles you two exchanged were the cherry on top for the audience.

 Your fake wedding was beautiful. You felt legitimately beautiful in your long white gown. As you walked down the aisle you could swear his eyes sparkled. He offered you his hand when you got closer to him, which you took, finding it was warm and a little sweaty which you forgave instantly when he shot you an apologetic smile.

Your vows were funny and lovely.

“I promise to cook you more than just pasta dishes whenever you’re hungry.” He announced.

He had cooked a few times for you, every time a different pasta dish. Quite tasty dishes actually! However, the viewers kept coming at him for only cooking pasta. You weren’t complaining though.

“I like pasta though.” You answered with a chuckle.

Then time came for you to read your vows.

“I promise to bring my husband some sunlight whenever he’s always stuck inside.” You promised and he chuckled, melting into a big smile.

You’d learned he was someone who worked a lot. Truth be told, you were pretty busy yourself but he was constantly at work. There was this constant creativity flowing through him, which pushed him to always be near a piano or his computer. You were unsure of whether viewers were aware of that but it was something you had come to realize during that short period of time you two had spent together.

Of course, your vows included the typical “I love you, I’m sorry, I’ll do well for you” to each other. At the time, although said in a sincere way, there was only so much meaning put into those words.

 Funny enough, there was a lot you had come to realize the more time you spent with him. It wasn’t like you two had really been able to spend time together away from cameras but you could tell he was being genuine all the time you spent with him. It wasn’t like you’d fallen for him or anything alike but you really did enjoy being with him. You’d noticed so many little things about him and you found yourself treasuring those. You wouldn’t even mention them in the solo interviews. They were yours to keep, whether you two would meet again or not.

When the show ended and you had to part ways, you were genuinely sad. The emotions in that last episode together were truly yours, nothing faked. You spent the day together and ended up having dinner at a nice restaurant near the river, as so planned by the production.

It was a gorgeous night. The restaurant had a rooftop area that was empty for the purpose of the recording of the show so when you two finished your dinner, you moved onto the rooftop for drinks. It was getting chilly so he put his jacket over your shoulders and over a glass of wine, holding the collar of his jacket against your chest, you two discussed the days you spent together earnestly. The way he talked about how you had indeed brought more light to his days, real and figuratively, in such a gentle way, really touched your heart, like you would have never thought it would.

Your last hug was truly gentle and sincere. He held you tight against his chest, like he himself didn’t want to let go and you found yourself wishing he wouldn’t. He pressed a kiss to the side of your head and you tightened your grip around his torso gently, closing your eyes.

When you finally let go of each other, he didn’t want you to remove his jacket but you insisted he would take it back. And so, you walked to the entrance of the restaurant and said your last goodbyes. As you left, you could swear the scent of his cologne still lingered around you.

 Weeks went by, the episode aired and the comments were crazy. The audience found that last moment so touching that everyone was rooting for you two to become an actual couple. You couldn’t help but read those comments with a bit of bitterness because after a few days, for a split second, you had wished that too. However, you two seemed to have returned to your lives just like they were before only that for you, everything seemed to remind you of him. You kept telling yourself it was just because you’d spent so much time with him but who knew? You might have actually fallen for him as much as you tried to discard that option.

 One sunny day, you woke up to a text from “Seonghwa-nim”. You felt silly for it but your heart skipped a beat. “I need some sunlight, when are you free?” it read.

And so, on your next free day, he took you out for coffee.

Coffee and a few earnest words were all it took for you to finally admit to yourself that you were indeed in love with him.

“You know, I keep seeing you everywhere. A lot of things remind me of you, I mean.” He started, looking down at the mug he held between his hands. “I didn’t think it’d happen but I miss your presence around me.” He admitted.

So that was it. He was in love with you too.

Like it had come out of a script that could be handed to you any time, that was the story of how a fake wedding lead to a steady relationship, full of love and plenty of sunlight.

Blog guide

[autumnslance]

how do you get into roleplaying on a ff server? like how do you do it and how do you know if your character is lore compliant? ;A; pls youre a big inspo to me

*Hugs Nonny* Getting into RP on a FF server can vary; I don’t actually RP much these days, outside of some friends I already have connections to--and that in itself can be difficult just due to Life! It can take time, and patience, and some fits and starts.

And this gets...really really long, so buckle up and go below the cut, please. :)

The cut got broken by an edit. Sigh.

In game there’s always the RP status tag, and just doing RP with folks in public spaces. There may be trolls now and then, but they can be ignored. I personally find Balmung’s Quicksand area too busy and anxiety inducing and not actually all that conducive to actual RP, even “meet at a tavern” walk-up type. But unless you already have a ready-made group of friends/FCmates willing to RP more than some random walk-ups with you, it may take some legwork to find folks you can and want to write with.

Social Media There are a couple of RP community blogs, like @mooglemeet​ and @ffxiv-crystal-rp​  and plenty of server-specific ones. There’s also some Discords for these communities. They host and advertise events and reblog people who are looking for RP contacts. Some of them have running gdoc calendars and in game linkshells and fellowships as well.

Shofie has a good post about Tumblr/social media RP blogging.

@shofie-ffxiv

It’s a fact now that social media outside game is a way to make contacts, or even a medium for RP itself. There are few centralized websites/forums for server RP communities anymore. Making connections over your social media, like Tumblr and Twitter, can help find RP. You can’t just throw your own character info out there or reblog prompts hoping others bite, though; you have to put in some work and show interest in others, too. This can be difficult and even scary. That’s OK.

RP is about collaboration and creating with other people, which means finding folks you can write with, and who see you as someone interesting but also interested in them and their OCs. If you want to keep it a solo endeavor focused on your own OCs, write fanfic (which I’ve actually made friends and gotten RP interests that way too through comment interactions, so hey).

If you reblog a prompt from someone, see others on your dash reblogging prompts, if people reblog that prompt post from you? Send them asks! Alternatively, don’t wait for prompts, just send asks, comments, or chats saying hello and things you notice or like about their blog/character/posts they make. Try to form connections with people you think are genuinely interesting and might be fun to talk with. Social media should be, well, social.

BUT respect boundaries, too. Don’t try sarcasm or jokes with people you don’t actually know, it tends to go over poorly. Unless someone’s specifically posting a naughty meme/prompt, keep stuff you others send clean and polite, especially if it’s unsolicited and you’re not already friends (doubly so if you don’t know how old they are IRL, there are laws you do not want to break). Respect if people aren’t open to random asks or chatting with new followers, or say “no” to RP, and know it’s not personal--it’s just what they have time, energy, and emotional/mental capacity for. Don’t give up on other people, though. This stuff can take time and effort to find those you click with.

Respect and communication with RP partners is pretty key.

Do curate your feeds and don’t be afraid to unfollow/mute/block folks, either. I’m selective in who I follow and remove as needed, too, for my own mental health. I miss so much of the discourse and drama and that’s fine by me. Also it costs nothing to not step in on a lot of the drama when it does pass in sight.

Profiles I have static RP profile pages for my girls here on Tumblr (and a lot of other static links and pages, but I’m weird about organizing like that). This way, if people want to write with me, send me prompts, if I sent them prompts, or they want to otherwise interact with my characters, the information is handily available. For some folks, this makes all the difference in who they choose to interact with: how easily can they find even basic info about your OC?

Some people make Carrds. Some folks have gdoc links, or use Dreamwidth, etc. Just keep the links in the blog’s sidebar menu, and/or in the blog desc so people can see ‘em on mobile. There are templates out there, or you can make your own. Feel free to snag mine if you’d like. A lot of times people also copy their profiles to rebloggable posts when looking for RP contacts. Profiles are a good way to let folks know just the at-a-glance basics about your character(s).

I picked a simple theme with a simple layout that makes it easy to add and show off links. I put them in the blog desc to make them easy to find on mobile, too.

[Images: links from my blog sidebar menu showing how over organized I am]

RP, Stories, Lore Post some stories or RP logs (with permission of others involved) or even just random little blurbs and headcanons, as well as any screenshots, art, aesthetic posts for your OCs. Have something of interest to show for your character, too, so some of those folks your interacting with have something of their own to see and ask about!

If possible, try some light RP with friends and FC Mates who are amenable. Go to events, even if just to lurk at first. When you do get up the nerve to talk to people, don’t try to throw a character’s entire backstory at them, or try to steal the limelight--RP is collaboration, back and forth, and a lot like real conversation. Maybe come up with little light things to talk about if asked; a recent adventuring job, a silly shopping incident, etc. They can break the ice or just give you something to reply with for a few minutes.

Lore Compliance is Variable. Some people really want lore compliance, others are OK bending it here and there, while still others throw it out the window entirely. If you want to be super lore compliant...read. There’s a LOT of information, in game and out, for finding lore; from official publications and website material, to tools like Garland Tools site, to compilation blogs like @mirkemenagerie.

Note what’s important for your concept. Narrow it down. Characters aren’t going to know or be or do everything, so only worry about what’s necessary for the base idea. And be flexible; it’s SE’s sandbox, we just play in it, and they can change things any time. They usually do it in the guise of characters not knowing/having all the correct information, at least, but also some places just don’t exist in game yet so we don’t have info.

I’m unspecific about a lot of elements of Aeryn’s childhood, for instance, other than “traveling merchants near Thavnair.” I don’t have to be super specific. I can keep most details vague, and focus on her family and those relationships.

Dark, as my first character, has a fairly simple backstory that I’ve expanded on and adjusted over time as I learned and came up with new info. I also bet no one remembers I originally said Dark was from the North Shroud. I’ve changed things (now from East Shroud, due to the proximity to Gyr Abania and its Hellsguards) as I learned more about the world and my character. You don’t want to change things willy-nilly, but sometimes being flexible and smoothing down some rough edges and making small changes can be fine, especially as one gets more lore over time.

Iyna has a pretty detailed backstory, that came from a basic idea, and checking dates in the pre-Calamity timeline. I based her being taken and trained the way she was not only on what info we have about Garlemald’s imperial practices with conquered provinces, but borrowed a bit from real life and the re-education schools many Native Americans were forced into (though I haven’t gone into detail on that yet, either). I tied the turning point in Iyna’s life to a major event that wasn’t the Calamity, and have left plenty of space in between for me to fill in as time goes on and I learn more about her and the world.

The world isn’t static, and is bigger and more diverse than what can be shown in the game. There’s space in the margins for plenty of weird stuff and contradictions or unusual cases. So read up on what you can, ask questions, and then find where in those spaces your OC fits. Then, find people who enjoy similar tastes in lore compliance (or non-compliance), and who enjoy playing with you and your OCs, and not worrying about the rest. Can’t please everyone, nor get along with everyone, so don’t try; just find what works for you, and who works with you, and don’t police anyone else’s pretendy fun times, either.

There’s no magic answer on the “right” amount of lore compliance, or how to quickly and easily find RP partners or break into the broader RP community.

I hope this helps at least a little bit! Good luck in finding your niche for RP, and maybe I’ll see you sometime at an event :)

[blvejeanbaby]

Pairing: Johnny x Y/N Word count: 2395 Part: 1 | 2

warning: slightly minutely suggestive at the end but nothing major

The air was hot with summer and expectations. Johnny felt it as he halted halfway across the Pont d’Arcole, placing his hands on the bridge railing. The sun was setting in the distance, the lights around him already having come to life. The purple and pinks of the sky were reflected in the river Seine, a dinner boat filled with tourists floating by slowly. Johnny could faintly hear the accordeon players on the other side of the bridge, their playing drowned out by the sounds of rush hour - as in this busy spot in Paris, it was always rush hour. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he heard a voice to his right side. As he looked up, away from the water, the hospital that resembled a castle, the top of the Eiffel Tower in the distance, his eyes met those of a stranger, a girl. Her hair a dark brown, almost black, a sundress that reminded Johnny of places he had imagined often before, like the hills of Italy and cities of Spain. “Yes, it is,” Johnny said.

He turned back to the view. It wasn’t often he found himself speaking to strangers. Everyone almost promised that a solo traveller would easily make friends with other travellers when abroad. Johnny had become quite accustomed to the thought that he wasn’t going to be that type of solo traveller. He sometimes liked solitude, for it was not loneliness. Not if you didn’t let it be. “Are you from Paris?” the stranger asked. Without taking his eyes off the fading sunset, the world around him slowly turning a deep shade of blue, only to later fade to black, Johnny answered: “No. Are you?” Another question. He was surprised to find himself speaking so much. Perhaps it was the comfort he found in your voice, as if you also weren’t used to addressing strangers like this. “No. I don’t speak a word of French.” “Quel dommage!” Johnny said, finally turning to look at you again. The wind picked up now the sun had disappeared fully beyond the horizon, and it blew the girl’s dress around her bare legs. Surely she must be cold. “Did you just curse?” she said. He chuckled. “No. I said it was a pity. French is a beautiful language.” The girl nodded. “The language of love. I was hoping to find a Parisian to show me around the city. Not just the tourist gems.” She gestured in the distance towards where the Notre Dame was located. “I haven’t seen it yet but I know it will disappoint me. Like all the touristy things do. They’re fun for a moment, until you notice the crowd and you realize that all that was beautiful about the sight is taken away by the tourists.” “I disagree,” Johnny said. He looked at the girl thoughtfully before extending his hand toward her. “Johnny.” She shook it. “Y/N.” When she let go of his hand, she said, with a smile playing around her lips: “You should show me why you disagree. Take the Notre Dame as a case study.” Johnny knew he ought to say no, knew he ought to take the closest mode of transportation back to the hotel, for it was… He estimated it would be about a 45 minute walk, judging by the sunset. Johnny knew he ought to return, that tomorrow would be a busy day, but looking at Y/N, he knew he couldn’t. “Okay, I’ll tell you everything I know.” He began walking, Y/N following close behind, as he recounted the little amount of information he had retained from the tour guide that afternoon, showing him and the rest of the NCT 127 members and their staff around the city in a double decker tourbus, one of those silly touristy things that Y/N would probably have some comment about. After Y/N had agreed to give a pass on the Notre Dame, for it was beautiful enough from the front and the sides they saw to ‘tolerate it’, as she put it, with a wink added to Johnny, she exclaimed she was famished. “I know just the thing,” Johnny said, feeling the overwhelming need to impress Y/N with whatever knowledge of Paris he had. Which was, admittedly, slim to none. He at least knew from the little research he had done that the Quartier Latin, the Latin Quarter, was only steps away from the Notre Dame and served great food. Johnny let Y/N pick the restaurant, a place that proclaimed itself to serve authentic Italian food. The main room of the restaurant was brightly lit by white fluorescent lighting, making the assembly of black-and-white pictures on the walls stand out like ghosts among the living. The place was owned by two very clearly non-Italian men, who chatted excitedly as they recommended Y/N all sorts of dishes in their native language, which they appeared to think she spoke as well. Johnny had to admit Y/N looked to be of many places and he was curious to find out where she was really from. Eventually, Y/N ordered a steak and frites while Johnny stuck to a margherita pizza. He wasn’t particularly hungry but he wanted to stay and listen to Y/N as she recounted her first day in Paris. How she had spent it mostly travelling down from Amsterdam, only to end up at Galeries La Fayette by accident. Johnny knew of the place, a large mall-like setting where one could buy from luxury brands. Taeyong and Haechan had went there straight after dinner. “I don’t know what I was doing there,” Y/N said, taking a hair tie from around her wrist and tying her hair back. “I’m honestly too broke to even be on this trip.” “Where are you from?” Johnny asked her, but Y/N didn’t get to answer because their plates were put in front of them. The pizza made his mouth water and Y/N, as famished as she had claimed she had been, started attacking her steak. It was odd, Johnny thought as he watched her eat, that he felt so utterly comfortable around her. It was clear she had no idea who Johnny of NCT was, and he felt pleasant enough in her presence, almost as if Johnny of NCT was no longer even part of him, as if he was only Johnny in Paris, worthy of being in Y/N’s radiant company. When they had paid the restaurant owners, who wished them well in three different languages - they still hadn’t figured out which one Y/N spoke, but Johnny guessed perhaps they could only speak French, Arabic and German and learning English had never occurred to them despite the large amount of English speaking tourists from all over the world flocking to visit their restaurant - Y/N claimed she wanted to see the Louvre. “They’re not open,” Johnny reminded her. “I don’t care, I just want to see the building and the pyramids and the Jardin des Tuileries.” “So you do speak French.” “Un petit peu.” A little bit. She stuck out her tongue at him and took off down the cobblestoned street, leaving Johnny to bite his own tongue and follow her. There was nothing in the world that could get him back to his hotel now that Y/N had compelled him to follow her to the Louvre. To get there, they crossed the Pont des Arts, the bridge that had previously held all the love lockets. “I never understood why people do that,” Y/N said as she looked out at Paris stretching out on all sides around her. “Do what?” Johnny asked, oblivious to the bridge’s previous purpose, aside from allowing passage across the Seine. His full attention was on Y/N in a way he could not describe. He started thinking maybe it was Paris making him think that he was forming a rarely occuring, deeply consuming bond with Y/N over their shared (in)competence in French, over their deep hatred for the sour type of mayonaise French people used on their sandwiches, over their love for all types of music, whether genuinely good or genuinely guilty pleasures. Perhaps he was turning into the main character of a cheesy romcom, in which they meet in Paris, fall in love in Paris and do everything in Paris, together, until they part ways. “Hang lockets on bridges to say they love each other. There’s nothing as unromantic as purchasing a locket and a key and pretending it’s your hearts forever locked together.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “Now that I put it like that, it actually sounds like something I would do. Just to prove that love is not dead. How about you?” “Me? I’m entirely living.” Y/N laughed, the sweet laugh that sounded like bells chiming on the wind. It occurred to Johnny that perhaps the fluorescent lights of the faux Italian restaurant had made him delirious. “You’re adorable,” she said, twinkling stars shining in Y/N’s eyes as she looked up at Johnny, towering over her. They had reached the other side of the bridge and now passed underneath an archway, out onto the square of the pyramids. It was still warm, no longer suffocatingly hot, and this caused there to still be a group of people at the square. As Y/N took out an analogue camera - what else had Johnny expected of her? - and snapped some pictures of the pyramids and the Louvre building, Johnny stood to the side, leaning against a wall as he watched her. The way she moved, the way the tip of her tongue poked out in her efforts to get the right shot… Johnny had to slap himself to wake him up. What was happening to him? He had never really thought of himself as a romantic person. Of course he had liked girls in the past, had thought he loved them, even. There were girls he hadn’t loved at all, girls he had only used for his own pleasure. He didn’t feel guilty about it, since the girls had only had shallow feelings for him as well. It was the life of a rockstar, his friends had told him. They thought he was living the dream. But perhaps it was all more of a nightmare, if the only people that you could ever lovingly caress, were people that only pleasured themselves with superficiality. Y/N was different. Whether that was because Johnny wanted her to be or because she truly was, he didn’t know, but for now, at least, he wanted her - in ways he could not explain. Perhaps it was not just the girl but also the city, Johnny thought as he followed Y/N across the square and to the park. Truly, it was the perfect night to visit a park like this, so far away from the busy streets of Paris but so in the middle of it. The city breathed ancientry and what Johnny had always thought was a particular movie romance idea, which he assumed would never be real. But following Y/N across the park until they reached an octogonal pond, surrounded by grass and chairs, he realized that perhaps he had been most pessimistic about love and movies and how movies depicted love. And truly, with all the people around… He wished they would all disappear except for her. “Let’s sit,” she said then, settling on the grass, not bothering with the nearby chairs. And Johnny sat next to her. And he watched her as she opened her bag and handed him a bottle of wine. “Have you been carrying that with you all day?” “I was waiting for the perfect moment.” “And this is it?” Johnny asked, feeling like he was a child on Christmas morning, being handed the bottle. “It might be.” She took out a collection of plastic cups. “This is wasteful. But I’ll recycle them, I promise.” She didn’t even seem to speak to him, Johnny thought as he filled the plastic cups to the brim with red wine, almost causing them to overflow. Y/N took the cup from him and they sat for a while. First in silence, then in a wild flurry of silly conversation. Sparked by the third cup of wine, Johnny said: “Come to my hotel with me.” And he could see she wanted to refuse, but perhaps she felt what he did, maybe only a little bit but perhaps. She nodded. If this had been a movie, Johnny thought, they would be playing some French victory song. Or perhaps not. They finished the wine and walked the last 15 minutes to the hotel. Due to Yuta matching up with a staff member - it had been because of an argument, but Johnny was thankful for that argument now - Johnny didn’t have to share his room this evening. But he did anyway, guiding Y/N through the velvet draped, shiny parquet floored lobby of the hotel to the elevators, a golden button waiting to be pressed. The hallways upstairs were much of the same, some fanciness and luxury, the place breathing of a far away, historian Frenchness. Johnny saw from the look on Y/N’s face that she was impressed, if not by the place around her by the fact that he could walk so confidently and unbotheredly around it. After a day at the hotel, and many hotels like these, Johnny had become accustomed to the beauty. Perhaps there would one day be something that would still shock him to take time and appreciate it - like the sunset at the bridge this evening or Y/N. But those were intangible things. He thought of Y/N as intangible as she entered his hotel room, took off her shoes as if to not destroy the burgundy carpeted floors. She spun around once, taking in the room and Johnny taking her in. “The wine made me tired,” she said. “Just lay down,” Johnny said, gesturing at the large bed. “Do you need something to sleep in?” “Nah. Come lay down with me.” Y/N lay down and patted the spot beside her on the bed. “I don’t know if I should.” He was tipsy. “I think you should.” She wasn’t tipsy. Johnny lay down anyway, making sure not to touch her. Until she turned and started pressing kisses to his cheek, creeping down to his neck. “Johnny Suh…” she mumbled against his neck. Huh, Johnny thought, he had not remembered telling her his last name…

[judestclare]

。· . ˙ ♪  ⌈ kristine froseth + cis female + she / her + solo g + clairo ⌋  have you heard ?  judith “jude” st. clare got signed by disclosure records two years ago ? they’re talented don’t get me wrong but i can’t believe it , they’re only twenty-two years old & some people go all their lives without making it , what makes them special ?  it’ll be interesting to see if the fame & success go to their head because i hear they can be quite careless , pliant & disloyal . but that could only be the rumours because i’ve also heard they’re gregarious , free-spirited & warm hearted . i guess only time will tell .  

     &.     hiii everyone !    i’m meredith, i’m nineteen, i use they/them and she/her pronouns. some more fun facts: i’m a libra, i’m from the est timezone, and really excited to be here !   under the cut you’ll find some #funfacts about the woman , the myth , the legend herself, jude st. clare !  

quick facts:

name: judith victoria st. clare

nicknames: jude — do not call her judith, she hates it

age: twenty-two

date of birth: january 20th, 1998

zodiac: aquarius sun, libra moon ( read here )

gender: cis female ( she/her )

sexuality: bisexual 

positive traits: open-minded, caring, fun-loving, free-spirited, warm-hearted, creative, adventurous, friendly, gentle, gregarious, bubbly

neutral traits: talkative, party animal, reticent, extroverted

negative traits: flighty, careless, disloyal, lazy, dishonest, flippant, easily manipulated/pliant, loud, facetious, unconfident, silly

tv tropes: plucky girl, hard-drinking party girl, the face, good bad girl

mbti: esfp, the campaigner ( curious, energetic, enthusiastic, good communicators, know how to relax, popular and friendly / overthinks things, too emotional, too independent, unfocused, little practical skills  ) 

background: 

jude was born and raised under the ever biblical name of judith in a tiny town in the midwestern united states to a religious family. growing up, her highest aspirations were winning a prize for best chocolate chip cookies at her church’s potluck. matching mary janes with her sisters and dresses with carefully picked cardigans took up the majority of her her wardrobe, and she could recite bible verses along with her times tables.

as teenage years hit, however, the spirit of rebellion was lit in jude. forcing friends and family to call her the much shorter, and in her opinion, much better jude. sneaking makeup in and herself out of picturesque suburban home, many nights were spent at house parties, doing beer pong inside, or smoking cigarettes or a joint outside. style never went full alternative — but baggy sweatshirts and ripped jeans replaced the uniform of sundresses.

two things that never suffered: her bubbly personality, and her affinity for bubblegum lipgloss. even as she tore away from weekly church attendance and skipped school more and more, jude still greeted all former churchgoers, classmates, and teachers in the grocery store with a beaming smile and a knack for remembering details — hi, ms. dawson. how’s little johnny? he’s two now, right? or i heard you were thinking about starting your own bait and tackle shop by the lake, mr. smith. i think you should do it. remember that bass you caught? you’re a natural! she had very little common sense, and didn’t do too well in school — but she always knew what to say and how to say it. she charming and friendly and fun to be around.

thus, jude’s rebellion was more so of the wannabe variety: in such a small town, everyone knew everyone, and everyone knew what she was doing. her parents mostly just waited for her to tire herself out — only it never happened. she dialed back on thick eyeliner, and still sometimes would show up to church on holidays to sing in the choir, but mostly, small town convention and religion were abandoned by the time she was in her mid-teens. 

eventually, she came out to her parents as bisexual, and it was a non-issue — despite religious background, her parents supported her 100%, no matter what clothes she wore, who she hung out with, or who she loved.

jude never graduated high school. by her sixteenth birthday, her attendance record was so spotty that they stopped calling home to let her parents know she hadn’t shown up to school that day — and a few weeks before she turned seventeen, after many screaming matches with her parents and sessions with the school counselor and principal, jude officially dropped out. 

she wasn’t going to sit around the house all day, however, instead driving her clunky car across town to the movie theatre every day, where she worked part time. she remained friends with all the people her age in town still, and made new ones at the theatre. however happy she was, jude was aimless. she knew she had to do something. finally, she turned a passion into a full time hobby, something she never thought would be lucrative. 

by seventeen, that knack for singing in the choir had been translated to covers posted with the gentle strumming of a guitar and manufactured beats. by nineteen, she was writing her own songs and gaining traction on youtube and soundcloud, and two weeks before her twentieth birthday, jude was signed to disclosure records and being flown to manchester. it was hard work, and it took years, but it still feels like a whirlwind to her — one moment she’s in her bedroom, playing bars in her local areas at open mic nights and upaid gigs, and the next she’s signed to the disclosure records. it’s a dream. 

tl;dr — jude is a flighty, fun high school dropout raised in small town middle america by a religious family. she grew into herself and was able to “rebel” despite her sheltered upbringing, and that unique sense of self + her musical talent got her a youtube following from the covers and songs she posted. that youtube following turned into a contract with disclosure two years ago, and she’s been in manchester ever since. 

career: 

a successful album and a successful tour behind her, the not-so-indie anymore lofi pop starlet is on the brink of even bigger fame, though she has a loyal following as she stands. she’s nowhere near super-fame — but she gets recognized in public, and that’s enough to give her the flutters in her stomach that she’s going to make it even bigger.

a regular social butterfly, jude regularly interacts with fans: instagram lives of acoustic covers from her apartment, constant posts to her stories. while her image isn’t exactly not genuine, it’s very curated: she’s careful what she reveals about herself, and the image she’s trying to maintain.

personality: 

image is not a thing, however, in jude’s personal life. still a party girl at heart, she’s down for anything once ... or twice ... or maybe a third time. she’ll say yes to almost anything, and a distinct — though never malicious — lack of loyalty keeps her unbound by romantic relationships or extremely close friendships. she’s friends with everyone, as she’ll tell you, and she has no problem at all with hookups, consistent or one night only.

in spite of this, she develops crushes at the drop of a hat, and will always be there to help someone else out ...  but don’t expect her to keep the same enemies, or to lose her forgiving heart.

jude isn’t dumb, and is pretty much a memorizing machine ( though not eidetic ), can be a little silly or ditzy, especially with sheltered upbringing and big heart. she’s not against being a shoulder to cry on, but when it comes to matters of her own heart, she’s as recticent as can be, never taking much seriously. as a mean youtube comment about her once said: that girl’s got about much depth as a kiddy pool. it wasn’t true, but it’s how she can come off.

drug tw / she drinks pretty consistently, and smokes weed even more so, though she’s not been known to deny any trying harder party drugs, however less consistent she is with it. she hasn’t a problem yet, but she doesn’t seem to be straying from the path that leads her there. if she ever encroaches in on one, jude wouldn’t be able to tell: she’s too busy having fun.

she’s a genuinely kind, caring person ... but jude is a little gullible, and trusts very easily. in spite of her affinity for friendship and relationship hopping, it’d be easy to convince her just about anything is true, or to do whatever bidding was necessary. say the right things at the right time, and jude will be wrapped around your finger. she doesn’t follow directions from authority terribly well, but friends ... that’s a different story.

above all : jude wants to be cool, fun, and liked. she’s a little desperate for attention and affection, and has inconsistent ideals about what’s good for her and the people around her. her self esteem is a lot lower than she makes it seem. 

wanted connections: 

party friends / drinking buddies: if anyone is as into getting drunk and dancing as she is, then call her up and get ready to go. she promises she can beat you in shots.

smoke buddies: a more chill version of the former, if anyone wants to sit around and have a songwriting session or just vibe.

friends: any kind of squad. she’s not the type to have besties, but if you consider her a friend, she’ll latch onto you whenever she gets the chance. 

hookups / fwbs: what it says on the tin, jude is down for anything and anyone (1/?)

crush: jude is very flighty and tends to have feelings come in like a hurricane, with the potential for them to leave just as quickly — this person would have jude wrapped around their finger.

unrequited: basically the opposite — someone likes jude, she’s a #dummy who doesn’t realize it and leads them on because she’s flirty with everyone and would probably also make out with anyone

enemies: jude doesn’t make many of these, but if someone is annoyed by her and lets her know it ... well, she’ll do everything in her power to make them even more annoyed. if you can’t make them like you, make them hate you even more.

tentative friend: on the opposite end of things, this person doesn’t vibe with jude but she’s half-oblivious to it, and is desperately trying to make them like her 

manipulator: jude LOVES attention, so if anyone needs any evil bidding or shit stirring done, just pay her some. she’d make an excellent lackey. 

anything else! seriously! just let me know what you want and we can brainstorm <3

[sankyeom]

tension?

‣ summary: the night before their music show debut, lana can’t perfect the dance routine until minho comes and helps her. the two encounter a moment that could change everything. ‣ pairings: minho x lana ‣ era: i am NOT / district 9 ‣ lana (stray kids extra member au) masterlist

Lana groaned in frustration, smacking her reflection in the practice room mirror. Stray Kids were going to have their debut stage tomorrow at M Countdown, and Lana felt like she just couldn’t get into the District 9 choreography. Sure, she had mastered the moves, but they didn’t feel like they were Lana’s yet. Every time Lana performed, people praised her charisma and how she made the choreography her own without straying from it, and it just wasn’t clicking with District 9. Of all the performances to not perfect, her team’s debut stage was not the one.

“I’m going to head back to the dorms,” Jisung said, stretching from where he was sat in the corner of the practice room, napping. He had been kind enough to stay with Lana when everyone else went home because he felt like she could use some company. As it turned out, tired Jisung didn’t make good company at all; he just fell asleep in places that were inconvenient for his alignment.

“I’ll be there soon,” Lana assured him, putting District 9 back on the speakers and getting into her position, determined to get herself out of the rut. Jisung glanced worriedly at her and decided to go find Minho; he knew that his hyung would still be practising as well and figured that maybe they could help each other out.

After going through the whole thing once more, Lana fell to her knees in frustration just as loud clapping snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned her head to see Minho standing in the doorway, smirking. “Looks pretty good if I do say so myself,” he teased the girl, making his way over to where she was and taking a seat in front of her. “What’s up?” Minho asked, no longer joking but genuinely concerned.

“I just can’t get it to have its usual ‘Lana charisma’,” Lana said, making quotation marks around words she felt she didn’t deserve to use. She sighed. “I’ve been the perfect trainee for like five years now. And now that I’m actually debuting, I just can’t seem to get it right. Ironic, huh?” Lana frowned.

“I know that people expect a lot from you, but this is a lot to carry on your shoulders,” Minho commented, worried that she was putting too much pressure on herself. “You need to loosen up and get back into your dance groove,” he stated, pointing a finger at her and going over to the speaker.

“My dance groove?” Lana echoed, laughing at Minho’s made-up terminology. “Okay, sure. At this point, I’ll take anything.”

There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes came over the speakers and Lana laughed immediately, remembering how they used to dance to that song together as trainees. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the choreography?” Minho teased when the song neared the chorus and Lana hadn’t started dancing yet.

She rolled her eyes and immediately started performing the choreography, feeling more relaxed and happy to dance than she had in a long time. Minho grinned, moving over to join her and turning her solo into a duet, moving around each other like they were born to do it. The verses didn’t have as strong of a beat, so there was no choreography to it, and Lana and Minho just twirled each other in circles and giggled at how silly the other was.

When the song ended, more of their favourite songs as trainees started playing, including a Dua Lipa song with a sexy beat and Havana by Camila Cabello. The two had choreography for this song too and began lazily doing the steps together, letting loose and dancing for fun instead of to be perfect. Lana began singing the lyrics aloud and Minho couldn’t help but stare at her and observe her dancing while hearing her sing. No matter how many people thought JYP was biased and Lana wasn’t as good as he said she was, they were wrong. She hit every note with passion and was still stable despite the dance routine she was performing. Lana was born to be on that stage.

“Okay, one more song,” Minho said, chest heaving with deep breaths and he put District 9 on for them to dance to. “Just relax,” he added when Lana began to frown, looking anxious. “You’re not dancing for JYP or for Chan or anyone,” Minho reminded her. “It’s just me,” he smiled, pushing her into her position and soon, their muscle memory coming in to play as their bodies moved.

Something about dancing so freely with Minho allowed Lana to dance with her heart instead of her head, and she could feel herself confidently adding her own flair to the moves without straying from the choreography, oozing charisma and smiling confidently as she did. Something about the way Lana danced reminded people of stage presence such as Hyuna and Sunmi, both of whom were seasoned professionals.

When the last beat played, Lana cheered and launched herself at Minho. “I can’t believe it,” she said, sounding genuinely disbelieving. “You fixed it,” Lana said happily.

“As per usual, that was all you,” Minho denied, hugging her back.

“You’re a liar, Minho,” Lana insisted. “Only you make me dance this way,” she was sure, and when she pulled away from the hug, she was still holding onto Minho’s shoulders, and he still had his hands around her waist.

There was a moment, as quick as a heartbeat in which Minho’s breath hitched and Lana stared at his lips. Just a single beat of passion and tension between the two teammates which could have led to so much more. Instead, they stepped back at the same time and awkwardly began packing up their bags to head back to the dorms.

Outside of the practice room, Jisung stood; he had been watching their whole interaction through the gap in the not-quite-closed door and could feel his heart breaking.

[memoirsofrkxjiyeon]

NOW PLAYING  ► HEARTZ MINHEE DEBUT LIVE STREAM

live streamed on 07-06-20 

uploaded to official heartz v line channel

The fact she thought she would be never be streaming again since her YouTube days were over. So when Sphere informed her that she is allowed to use the official HEARTZ v line channel her heart leaped for joy. Minhee set up her little streaming space keeping it to her original design so her fans would be familiar with the surroundings, the only different thing is that she is doing it under Sphere entertainment and she’s idol now. The heartz member organised a schedule on what she will do during the stream to make sure there was plenty time for them to bond with the audience plus give them quality entertainment. The girl announced on her social media platforms that the stream was live right now, giving them links & how to join to the v live. Minhee decided to wear one of her pretty white dresses similar to the sexy innocent style of her jacket photo shoot. The idol waited patiently for the people to join the stream, greeting them with a wave & smile along with their username however that got more difficult as the more came in. It was truly unexpected by the number of viewers, she was expecting her usual number but clearly this debut as increased the number by a lot. Minhee joked about not expecting so many looking even surprised on the camera about ten minutes into the stream after having little chit chat with arrivals it was time to get professional and get this show on the road. 

“Annyeonghaseyo! I heart you! This is Heartz Minhee! Welcome to the FIRST heartz v live! I promise you there will be lot more to come! This is perfect chance for you to get know me better & get know all of you~ I want to thank everyone who took their time to join this stream. Let’s have good time neh?!” she happily greeted the audience with her cheerful despotism, in truth she was really right now as did not want to mess this up since it was the very first one. “For all who do not know me, I’ll tell you little bit about myself, the name is Joo Minhee, I was born & raised Seoul, South Korea. I lived in Songa-pu all of childhood, I’m youngest child out of four siblings. I always known as pretty but dumb one among my family members so I would go out of my way to prove them wrong by studying hard in school. The hard work paid off as I end up graduating from Sungkyunkwan University with MBA degree proving to my aunties that not just pretty & dumb.....so if you can achieved anything with hard work & dedication even though it was difficult it always important to push through.” The one thing she always wants to be known for is Minhee’s hardworking attitude who is willing to go extreme mile to achieve her goals. She talked about how she never consider becoming a idol as she was talent-less and she only accepted to join Sphere as trainee because her friends believe she should give it a try. “Before I became a trainee, I couldn’t even sing a note or dance at all. Thanks to Sphere’s coaches & trainers they help me develop my voice & my dance ability and I made it my own due to their complete faith in me to become better. I struggled a lot always felt that I wasn’t good enough being surrounded by such talented people but I never gave up and now here I am officially debuted with my own solo song no less. It’s insane, I think that is message I would send to you all guys. Always preserve cause all that hard work will paid off eventually.  If you struggling at school or at work just hang up ok? Music help me a lot...so I’m hoping ViViD would help lift your spirits!” she didn’t mean to get emotional about all this but it something which close to her heart and still in disbelief that finally debut as felt like a dream, Minhee’s eyes did get little watery but she kept on smiling and start to read the comments responding to them answering questions they made had. 

On a brighter note, she show off the cake which her mother baked her to celebrate her debut along with the bouquet of flowers which Namjoon gave her but she never mentioned who gave the flowers expect saying it was from her friends. The stream switched to happier note as she played RANDOM DANCE PLAY with SPHERE ARTISTS  ONLY promoting the company senior artists while having some fun. Naturally she was able to do all SHE’Z & SPICA songs with ease but when it comes to CONVEX & CHAOS she did struggle a little but end up making funny instead pretending to be guy. Minhee did get all hyped up when she heard MANSAE since that is music video she was in and it will forever be important song to her too. The girl end up singing ViViD completely acapella showing off her unique vocals and playful charm as she sang into the camera making direct eye contact flirting with the audience. Minhee even did her own version of Spica welcome you song singing ‘hea~rtz we would like to welcome you~ the name is joo minhee, please take care of me~’ she laughed afterwards on how silly it was. The final part of V Live consists of Minhee telling them about going to paris filming all the music even applying the joke that she is the mother of all bunnies Minnerys Targaryen  using a games of thrones reference which everyone tend to know. She explain how in the music video she was making sure everything is clean & ready for the other members to come into their heartz universe and how much fun she had playing golf & playing with the duster. Not mentioning how much she loved all the clothes and the fashion aspect of the music video. It felt that the music video represented her colourful personality along with her need to control & organised everything too. 

The stream was fun especially finding out everyone thoughts plus getting to know her fans better and she genuinely missing this so much. Minhee loves connecting with others hopefully she made some new fans in the process hopefully some extra album sales too cause she is always about business too. It is vital to do well and worries that she will have lowest sales & views out of all the heartz cause she is not as talented as Luda or Sooyoung so she is nervous about that. The idol signed off the stream with a lot of blow kisses, cute fingers and aegyo for them. 

[hell-heron]

Romeo and Juliet - Globe production 2009

So, as I think every Shakespeare person on this site, I've spent the past few days rewatching my favorite parts of this over and over again, but only now I've decided to talk about it a lot more in depth and watch all of it. So, did I like it? Yeah, I have to say I expected to like it more because the clips I had been able to watch a while ago were mostly featuring Ellie Kendrick's Juliet's solo scenes which are imho the highlight of the production.

The only comment on this I read from someone whose opinion I trust mentioned there is a lack of chemistry between the titular characters and thst the romance comes off as kind of too childish and silly. Now, it's probably because my opinion of the ideal chemistry is quite less sexually charged than most people, but I only partly agree with this. For example, the lark scene was definitely underwhelming (tho I liked the little preamble where Romeo stares, obviously scared, out of the window and Juliet reaches him as the chorus sings) and the courtship sonnet just average, but the balcony was exceptionally good, Zeffirelli levels even, a perfect balance of flirty humor, passion, tenderness and enthusiasm, also helped by the fact both actors decided this was the moment to be a bit more natural in their acting and drop the... Comedical conceit? I'm gonna elaborate a bit more on this later, but anyway it was very good. There is definitely some tonal issue with the romance, but imho it's more due to the overall inability of almost anyone in this cast to play in a tragedy than romantic chemistry: these kids would have played Beatrice and Benedick just fine.

It's very clear that the director's intent in this was to highlight this play's overlooked comedic influence and, while I appreciate it... Eh it's a bit of a mixed bag. I like highlighting the humor and snark that is already present, especially the two lovers', I kinda enjoy the comedic servant character, some scenes were done in a really nice and original way, but unfortunately it also means everything after the duel falls really emotionally flat. The deaths in particular were hard to watch. I also think Tybalt was underused in this sense and was way too serious (sooo sad because the actor is really pretty and seems good tho he was given fuck all to do) while Paris should have been less comedic, given that the fact this doesn't cut the sexual-harrassment-in-church-scene (THANK GOD) makes him REALLY sleazy and a legitimate threat for Juliet. Though I love the scene where the Capulet's have to basically passively aggressively kick him out of the house.

Another noteworthy point is that the script cuts almost nothing, a few scenes are shortened but all are present. Personally I find this great as I am a big fan of a lot of scenes that are often unappreciated and cut - the aforementioned conversation between Paris and Juliet, the scene were Juliet complains about the nurse being late, a few Bencutio-inclined scenes etc. However they really could have used to skip a few purely comedic scenes involving the servants, and the prologues, seriously? The prologues in the year of our lord 2009?

There's also a little added bickering between Lord and Lady C about whether to have the wedding on Thursday or Wednesday to make fun of Shakespeare fucking up the timeline, which is obviously awkward and unnecessarily but lord do I respect the principle.

The costumes are good, imho, a bit plain/stiff in some cases. In particular I'd like to know what possessed them to have gray as Juliet's main color. But for the rest they look nice, especially Lady C's, Nurse's and the young men. I also appreciate that Juliet wears blue and Romeo red for the wedding, it's really pretty and symbolic, and that there's a difference made clear between everyday clothes and the nice ones for the party or the wedding for Romeo too. I also love his ball headdress of twigs and feathers, very cute and fairylike.

Now - the characterization. As I mentioned I was extremely pleasantly surprised by Ellie Kendrick's Juliet. She's the first actress that I think captures Juliet's snark and feeling of like... Overwhelming urgency and intensity. When she says on the balcony that she's incapable of being as coy and poised and careful with her feelings as other girls, it's believable, when she complains about old people being slow and acting like they're already dead compared to her warm youthful blood and passion, it's... A bit mean as teenage girls will be, but believable. One thing I love about Juliet how Shakespeare wrote is that she has a lot of these little character touches that set her apart from a Stock Romantic Maiden and she really makes it shine more than any other actress. My issue is that her portrayal changes very little through the play: in some cases it works well even in heavier scenes (for example the conversation with Paris and then with Friar Lawrence has such fervor and bitterness to it, I love her little snarky huff when FL doubts she will have the courage to go through with her plans) in other it really doesn't. The poison speech is really, really jarring, I know her speeding up like crazy is meant to convey anxiety but she doesn't really make it come across imho, and she shows almost no emotion in her death. Points added for the Gallop apace fiery footed steeds speech tho, it's really charming and mischievous ad I loved it. She also does surprisingly well with the reaction to Romeo's banishment despite not being usually good with sad scenes

Now, Romeo... Romeo seemed really mediocre to me from the clips and then he grew on me, but he's quite strange. In most of his scenes he seems... Uhm, too dramatic? Too conscious of the fact he's acting? Which I don't know if it's meant to be reflective of Romeo's personality or simply the actor's style. I could appreciate it as a characterization choice if he started acting more naturally after meeting Juliet and dropping his Unrequited Love Angst (which he does for a while), but then for some reason he goes back to it, to the point where the duel with Paris and his death is the worst offender. So it's really unclear what he's doing. His best scenes are definitely the balcony, the conversation with Friar Lawrence (such genuine affection and complicity! This production does GREAT at establishing the kids' relationships with their surrogate parents, I wish it was more common) and his conversation with the nurse, which coincidentally are those where he acts more natural. In these scenes, he comes off as really sweet, enthusiastic and outgoing but a bit awkward. Real quality facial expressions. Again, feels believable when Mercutio says "now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo!". I have a ridiculous soft spot for the moment where he tries to make the "Young Romeo will be older when you find him than he was when you sought him out" joke and it falls completely flat and Nurse just stares at him weirdly.

Overall I appreciate the intent of the actors to give the lovers more of an individual personality than usual, but they take it too far and don't drop it at the appropriate moment

Now, for the secondary cast. Nurse is great, one of the best in the cast for ability to play both comedy and tragedy I think, I liked Lady C's characterization, more bumbling/distressed/trying and failing to parent emotionally inept mom than the usual Slutty Wine Mom which is starting to honestly bore me, Friar Lawrence is really cute and I love they gave him his speech about flowers. The prince is completely forgettable, Lord C a bit too bumbling to be intimidating imho, the Montague nonexistent. I already talked about my issues with Paris

Passing to the boys people actually care about here:

- Tybalt unfortunately doesn't offer much to like. He's very serious and poised and mhh just lacks feral energy. His scene with Lord Capulet is good but the fights are nothing special. He gets slapped by Lord C also :/

- Benvolio is cute! He gets a bit more frat-boyish characterization which is nice after all these tiring nerdy cinnamon roll too pure for this world portrayals, and he's very distinctive from Romeo. I think there's also great Bencutio chemistry here, they had some great scenes in the one after the ball where they look for Romeo together and the "more than prince of cats scenes". The first in particular, featuring the drunk boys trying and failing to make rhymes to conjure Romeo, is one of the better accomplished comedic scenes. Unfortunately there's not as much mileage to take from the "Thou art as hot in thy mood as any Jack in Italy" conversation, he doesn't get mad about it :/. For the rest I like his part in the opening fight and his anger at Romeo in the post-duel scene. Also he's green-coded which is nice

- Mercutio... Agh. So there's a similar problem here as with the lovers, acts great in more light toned, underrated scenes but the main ones are somewhat underwhelming. All the Montacrew conversations are delightful, he's very expressive in his gestures. The aforementioned Bencutio scenes are great and so is the one with the nurse, tho I wish he didn't kiss her, it's not really necessary to resort to sexual harassment to show him as an annoying dick. However there are some points where he comes off WAY more bitter than necessary at Romeo's romantic exploits and ??? People are aware you don't HAVE TO code him as in unrequited love with Romeo if you don't intend to do anything with it, are they? (tho they do have a very cute scene where they lie on the ground together and snuggle as they banter) However, the queen Mab speech and the duel, which are the most important, fall very flat. He can't make up his mind on whether the queen Mab speech is a breakdown or just a ramble to show off his wit, and the Montague boys definitely react like it's the latter. He shows some very nice anger in the "I talk of dreams" bit tho. Overall it's weird and seems boring, too long

I need to have a full paragraph to talk about the duel because it's imho one of the most botched scenes. It's overpowered by the drums, confusing and chaotic not in a good way. Tybalt doesn't seem very interested in fighting Mercutio, nor the other way around, Tybalt seems actually almost uneasy and like he accepted because he was embarrassed to refuse. However this doesn't reflect in the actual fight, which is very violent where this would make me expect a Zeffirelli-like, playful and dramatic duel that goes tragically wrong. Mercutio's death is fairly cold, save for the plague o'er both your houses line which is always awesome, and maybe i influenced by the musical but there's a strong lack of reaction and affection from the Montague boys, they don't touch or hug or even like... Cry or anything. I do like Romeo and Tybalt's duel, in particularly the fact it's mainly a fistfight, to emphasize how much rawer and realer it is than the first one - tho again, because the first one is more violent than warranted the contrast loses a little in strength. There's also no emotion or reaction whatsoever from Tybalt at any point which is a little weird given how this started.

Romeo's reaction is also not great. He's mainly angry, although understandably, doesn't seem to feel guilty or sad at all about either Tybalt or Mercutio. He also repeatedly punches Tybalt's corpse, which... This coupled with the fact they keep him killing Paris, but not the scene where he talks to Tybalt's corpse in the crypt is a little weird. I know some people like to play Romeo's arc as a descent into darkness with him losing his principles and natural gentleness as he's pushed off the deep end, and I'm not necessarily opposed to it, but I don't think anyone involved in this has the capability to handle that well, so it just seems strange and out of character.

He does break down a little in the following scene with Friar Lawrence, but still he doesn't seen particularly mad about anything but his banishment. I do love how he emphasize his feeling of betrayal from his One Trusted Adult tho.

So, overall I really like this. Great cast, some wonderful ideas, very vivid and fun to see. I just wish they could have balanced tragedy and comedy better because literally all the issues come from there

[naruseii]

Myu review 7: 1997 Eien Densetsu

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Before continuing further, I’d just like to mention this. This review is purely based off of my personal opinion. I personally am not that fond of SenShi and since this Myu contains that ship, my comments/views differ from the majority, which is okay! Whether we agree or disagree, let’s keep the discussion civil and let’s also respect each other! Thank you and enjoy this (long) review!

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First impression: I was actually pretty excited for this Myu!! With Stars K being so amazing and this being the second to the last Myu of the First Stage, I really expected a lot!

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Impressions: Actors/Actresses

Anza Ooyama (Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon)- OH YES QUEEN ANZA!! She was so good in this, it’s like she saved the Myu. I really liked how she portrayed Usagi in this Myu. Sad/Mature Usagi is so essential to the Stars arc and I think Anza pulled it off pretty well especially during I Miss You and her talk with Setsuna about Mamoru. She had her fun, silly Usagi moments but I think her more sad/mature/serious moments were the highlights of her character. Her Super Sailor Moon was pretty okay!! She had the mix of funny and serious Moon which created a good balance. Her Eternal Sailor Moon is obviously my favorite. I have to say I wasn’t as impacted as I was in Stars/Stars K but her Eternal Moon was still pretty good!! She makes her so strong/powerful and also really mature and lady-like which is why I love her as that version of Moon so much. Of course, she did well in all aspects and I just really really enjoy Anza-Moon a lot!! 💕

Ayako Morino (Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury)- Ah s***, here we go again. I really can’t stress enough how much I don’t like boy crazy Ami. I’m not a fan of the SenShi pairings so automatically I didn’t enjoy the ZoiAmi bits. This is not Ayako’s fault of course (it’s First Stage/general Myu writing) but seeing her act it out really didn’t settle with me. Ayako’s pre-Zoisite Ami wasn’t too bad?? She kinda overdid the “innocent Ami” but that’s nothing new. I quite enjoyed her Mercury though, because she really did break out of her “innocent Ami” character and showed her true strength as Mercury. Normally with these reviews I always prefer her Mercury over Ami and it’s the same with this one. She’s either lacking or too much, really.

Misako Kotani (Rei Hino/Sailor Mars)- MISAKO WAS SO GOOD IN THIS MYU!! I love her strong and sassy Rei and all her Rei scenes were so fun and interesting to watch! I really like how her relationship with the cast is shown through certain scenes (like the teacher-director switch scene) because it really added to her charm. Just like Ayako, she was given many scenes to showcase her character/character development and I think she gave off an amazing Rei and Mars. I love her voice and her acting so much here!! I’m sad Eien K is her last Myu because I’m really starting to like her a lot :^( .

Akari Tonegawa (Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter)- Akari wasn’t too bad of a Makoto/Jupiter! I really love her little movements and her facial expressions because they add more to her character. Her Makoto was more on the masculine side although she had moments which showed her girly side. Her Jupiter was lacking but, it’s more on the writing than her acting. I can’t really judge her voice on the singing aspect since she didn’t have a solo but, I do have to say her voice is quite powerful. Her dancing was okay and overall, I think she did pretty well despite not having much to do!

Akiko Miyazawa (Minako Aino/Sailor Venus)- Akiko was sooo cute!! I super love her Minako!! She portrayed the perfect fangirly Stars Minako and you can definitely tell from her gestures and how her voice becomes higher than usual (which was a nice touch)! Just like Akari, her senshi counterpart was lacking due to the writing. I think she had the potential to show a really great leader Venus! As mentioned before, her Minako was amazing and I think she touched on every aspect of the character pretty well!! I’m really excited for her next performance (and future ones)!!

Yuuta Mochizuki (Tuxedo Mask/Prince Endymion/King Endymion)- Just like in the previous Stars musicals, Tuxedo Mask/Endymion was hardly present. And when he was, he was typically walking around, getting attacked, kneeling and having few lines of dialogue. Even though he didn’t do much, I still think he did well in what he was able to do!! I hope they give him much more to do in Eien K since it’ll be his last Myu as Tux!!

Sanae Kimura (Haruka Tenoh/Sailor Uranus)- Oh yes!! Sanae was pretty good in this Myu!! She’s had really good scenes especially with Hiroko because their dynamic is just that great. Her Haruka really got to shine when she was with Hiroko. Their scene in Kick Out A Bloody Mystery and Orurean no Sei Senshi really showed off Haruka’s humorous and serious/dedicated side well. Her Uranus is still pretty strong. Her scenes with Moon, the Starlights and Galaxia really highlights her strength as Uranus (especially during the betrayal). Although Uranus (and Neptune) weren’t too memorable in this Myu, I think Sanae did a pretty good job in all aspects and got to portray her character pretty decently!!

Hiroko Tahara (Michiru Kaioh/Sailor Neptune)- Hiroko is just so so good. She makes me enjoy Michiru/Neptune so much!! I really do love her dynamic with Sanae because she actually gets to shine more/take the lead at times and she isn’t just Haruka’s femme gf on the side. As mentioned before, the mystery scene and Orurean no Sei Senshi were probably her best scenes as Michiru. As for her Neptune, she had much more of an impact that before. Especially during the betrayal scene where she said she’d follow Haruka anywhere she goes (she’s basically just re-enacting the scene from Act 1), it really felt genuine and I felt like she encapsulated Neptune and her emotions very well. She’s pretty great in all aspects and again, Uranus and Neptune weren’t too memorable in the Myu but she got to pull of her character pretty well!!

Rei Saitou (Setsuna Meioh/Sailor Pluto)- Oh my gosh I love Rei!! I really loved her scenes where she talked about spending her entire life alone yet still believing in love (or something like that). She really encapsulated Pluto’s loneliness and strength as a person and a soldier. She’s also had her funny moments which gave her a good balance of being humorous and serious. Her voice is amazing and she still dances pretty well!! Overall she did really great!! I super duper love her Pluto!

Chihiro Imai (Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn)- I think Chihiro did okay for her first and last role!! But I do think she could’ve done better. She captures child Hotaru a bit better than Keiko since she’s younger although, her delivery wasn’t too good at times. There were some points where she would sound emotionless and her movements were also kinda stiff. She has a good voice (especially for her character) but the way she says “Saturn” in To A Brand New World bothered me just a tiny bit. But otherwise, I think she was pretty okay!!

Mao Kawasaki (Chibi Chibi/Sailor Chibi Chibi)- I’m so glad Mao returned for this Myu although, her role as Chibi Chibi was very minor. Since Mao had exposure playing a child role in the past (Chibiusa), I think she was able to keep her acting pretty child-like. She didn’t have as much freedom as she did as Chibiusa but her monologue as Sailor Chibi Chibi and her song “Mou ii no” really amazed me!! She was really good!!

Sayuri Katayama (Seiya Kou/Sailor Star Fighter)- Oh my gosh can I just yell about how charming Sayuri’s Seiya is?? She got a good balance of leader Seiya/Fighter and soft/caring and charming Seiya/Fighter. I think her best moments were with Usagi (I Miss You) the other Starlights (Kick Out A Bloody Mystery) and Kakyuu (Kakyuu Ouhi to Three Lights). I think she captured more of the manga Seiya while having some bits of anime Seiya as well. To be honest, her strongest character is Seiya. Her Fighter had the leadership and care/concern but honestly, it doesn’t strike as much presence as her Seiya does. She has such an amazing singing voice and she dances pretty well so yeah!! I loved Sayuri!!

Hikari Ono (Taiki Kou/Sailor Star Maker)- Um...😔👉👈...I REALLY LOVE MY GIRL A LOT. She was so good okay. Honestly, she makes me less annoyed at Taiki altogether. She’s had her moments as the know-it-all (a.k.a ((sorry, language)) smartass) Taiki but she also had her funny/laid back moments too. I loved her scenes with Momoko or the Kinmoku gang because we really get to see the true character of Taiki/Maker which Hikari portrayed very well. I was surprised she had such a strong Maker because she didn’t really do much as her for the past 2 Myus!! She has the dedication (to mostly) Kakyuu and a strong will. Her singing is great and so was her dancing!! So yes 8/8 my girl did great!!

Momoko Okuyama (Yaten Kou/Sailor Star Healer)- Momoko is the CUTEST Yaten and you can’t convince me otherwise. I was watching the Stars anime when I watched this Myu and her Yaten was a breath of fresh air from her anime counterpart. She’s had her sassy moments but she was such a goof ball in almost all her scenes!! From solving mysteries to deciding on who the next leader of the Three Lights is, she was just so fun to watch! Her Star Healer was very strong and caring! I think she did pretty well in all aspects and I just love her!!

Sakoto Yoshioka (Princess Kakyuu)- YES FINALLY A KAKYUU!! I loved Sakoto!! She has such an amazing voice and I’m so glad they gave her more than one song to sing in this Myu! She really has the “other worldly” presence that Kakyuu has when she makes her first appearance. She was also very kind and motherly but in a different kind of way than Setsuna. She portrays Kakyuu’s emotions so well and she moves so gracefully which really made her capture Kakyuu’s character!! I’m looking forward to seeing her again in Eien K!

Tamami Matsumoto (Sailor Galaxia)- She's definitely different from Saori!! She has a lot more power and a lot more stage presence. She shows off Galaxia's dominant and villainous side really well. Although, I think she’s too mature for Galaxia. I see Galaxia as an intelligent kid but with lack of experience. Tamami’s Galaxia seemed like a queen figure (like Beryl or Nehelenia) who’s seeking revenge when she’s really just someone new to the scene. Nonetheless, I think she portrayed Galaxia well especially with her movement and her voice! And her reformed Galaxia was just as great!

Shadow Galatica (as a whole)- I’m surprised they didn’t include Iron Mouse in this one but even Aluminum Siren and Lead Crow considering that the Stars anime already ended by then and people should know Shadow Galactica but oh well I guess. They removed Pewter Fox as well for some reason but they made up for these losses with Tin Nyanko and Mitis (formerly known as Titanium) Keroko! Both Toni and Megumi did such amazing jobs portraying their characters in all aspects. Sailor Chi, Phi and Theta were amazing dancers and complimented scenes really well. I enjoyed them a lot!

Ryuji Kasahara (Kyaos/Chaos)- Don’t get me wrong, I love Ryuji as an actor and I did enjoy him in this role! But I really didn’t like the build/the writing for Chaos. In the manga he’s just like any other final boss at the end of each arc and since Chaos is the very last villain, he should be portrayed as the most evil creature to exist. Ryuji usually plays playful villains which is probably why they had to rewrite Chaos’ character. The teacher/director Kyaos was really fun to watch and he really played the two really well!! I just wish we could’ve gotten more of a serious/powerful Chaos from him.

Yuri Nishina (Queen Beryl)- So glad they brought her back from Gaiden! She makes an excellent Beryl!! Her voice is really suited for her character and she really shows the evilness of Beryl so well. She doesn’t do much dancing so her only movements are just swaying her arms when she attacks. That aspect kind of bothers me a bit in some scenes because it looks so lazily done even if her lines/scenes hold so much emotion. Regardless, I enjoyed her evil Queen Beryl as much as her reformed Beryl! She did well in both!!

Hidetaka Asano (Kunzite) & Akira Tomemori (Zoisite)- OH YES MY SHITENNOU BOYS!! I mean this time we only have half of them, but it kinda works! Zoisite had more of a role than Kunzite since he somewhat pursued a relationship with Ami. Due to that, Zoisite showed more of his masculine side than feminine side which really changed the atmosphere around his character. Kunzite on the other hand, was less of a leader and more of a casual person. Despite these, I think both Akira and Hidetaka were able to carry on their characters very well! They delivered their lines confidently and they have good singing and movement! I really enjoyed their performance!!

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The story: I’m gonna change this part up! Normally I’d tell the story while inserting my opinions in at certain points but since Eien is longer than previous Myus (I think this one’s 2 hours?), I’ll just give my opinions on the story instead.

It was SO MESSY. This is like the first Stars Myu but even messier. The best way I can describe this story is that they fused both interpretations (anime and manga) of the Dark Kingdom and Stars Arc but also kinda tried to revise Stars K? There was just so much going on in general. Some parts can be understood if you’ve seen the anime or read the manga (or both) but if you’re a Myu-only person then maybe those things may seem unclear/unnoticeable.

[ACT 1]

I’m assuming this is because of the 2 hour time mark but Act 1 was super long. It kinda felt dragging at times. They also inserted a scene that wasn’t really necessary which was the “Little Match Girl” scene with (who I’m assuming is) Chihiro. It was just her talking to this entity (I think it’s Beryl?) while lighting her last match. The entity was talking about how darkness is gonna swallow up the world and how that last match won’t help her (which it didn’t) and through that, Queen Beryl got resurrected. Do you get what I mean??

But aside from that, the rest of Act 1 was just okay. It was a super long act and since there was so much in it, I didn’t find the transitions from scene to scene to be well executed. I think each Senshi/character got a fair amount of screen time although some didn’t really do much. All the musical numbers and scenes were great!! It’s just that there’s too much, really.

[ACT 2]

Act 2 was way shorter. By this point you should be getting the story but I still didn’t understand what I was watching. There was definitely a shift in atmosphere between the acts as Act 1 was more lively and fun (although it had a few serious moments) while Act 2 was more heavy and probably tried to focus on the story more. Most characters were well developed by then until we discover that some of them get redeemed or some of them are actually evil (or maybe they were pretending to be evil but were just good all along). I’d have to say that I preferred this section of the story more than the first. It just seems more well put together although it still hardly makes any sense. The unexpected shift of stance from the villains (evil to good or “good” to (very) evil) was a nice touch on their part. All in all, I think Act 2 or just the ending of the Myu really wrapped up everything pretty well. Despite all the many ups and downs, the ending was actually quite decent.

If you want to know about the story, I suggest you read the ‘97 Eien page on the SM Wiki: https://sailormoon.fandom.com/wiki/Pretty_Soldier_Sailor_Moon_%7E_Eternal_Legend

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Overall opinion: As much as I really wanted to like this Myu, I can't. I had a hard time understanding what was going on & I had to watch this a second time just to make this review. The actors and actresses weren't bad, they all did such an amazing job; the story is just terrible. The concept they went for is good, it's just that the execution wasn't. I'm really hoping for the best for Eien K especially since it's the last Myu of the First Stage.

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FINALLY!! GOSH THIS TOOK A WHILE. I actually watched this Myu with @missemperor back in May and we DID NOT enjoy it. I had to watch it again because the story never stuck to me and I forgot what everyone did in the Myu. To be honest, there were moments that are likable but the problem really is just the story. I’m really crossing my fingers for Eien K!! How about you? Did you like ’97 Eien? Did we agree on things? Feel free to leave your thoughts!!

((Character profiles are from @myu-resource , CD cover is from @galaxycosmos​))

[anothersecondinthesunshine]

So I took a walk last night listening to Desire and here’s some word vomit about it for my own health and sake because I can’t keep it inside

After going through it quite a few times I still get nothing from it, like honestly noffin

and if this was any other band I would not play it twice and I would not turn around and ask for the name of the song if I heard it randomly in public Really this album is one loooong song that is an ok background track I guess Meaning it will do well in movie credits, tv shows, you’ll hear it in Zara or H&M while looking for knee socks and maybe it even does good on radio if force-fed down collective ears often enough

But will it go well with main fanbase idk and ironically I don’t even feel the desire to buy the album ??

Like it is listenable but do I want to play it not really As for the comments I saw these days, People mention it’s sort of the continuation of Surrender and I get it because of the “lightness”, but for me it’s kinda incomparable because Surrender still has some unique sounds you’d always recognize and want to hear more of, even be it Rolling Stone’s turbofolk solo or demonic closing voices of Policewoman

I mean I adore WOTW  to this day and Lights is a one of a kind creation, so Surrender was experimenting and it was easy accepting it as truly that

Desire offers nothing new plus it kinda lacks the depth of the emotion, I heard each of these songs in so many other bands and will hear them again and songs like these are made every day Using obvious mainstream trends of the moment and oversimplifying everything is evolving, really? Changing yes (and change is a good thing!), but evolving hardly Nobody’s wanting depressed ballads all the time either. It is possible to write good, smart pop that is insanely catchy, and still stay true to your own values. I’m thinking about what Marina did with Electra Heart. Seems they watered down their essence so much it accidentally washed away down the drain

Also, I’m afraid it won’t be impressive live, especially put between old songs to compete with

Like there’s too much laid back non distinctive instrumental parts that I can only imagine doing awkward swaying hands left to right to Onto the individual songs, skipping the ones we already heard: People Like Us - catchy leading beat! kept wanting bit more of it, to grow in intensity and kick in hard, but it never delivered; needs more of that strange pronunciation at the end; nice earworm, should’ve been a single, with a video about people faking happiness in a relationship

Something I Need To Know - bit forced, in the likeness of Blind, Wings, STDF; it goes on forever, not feeling it, something Emeli Sande could sing better Thinking Of You - so basic. too basic Wherever You Go - damn that’s a weird one, and in a good way! the melody makes me wanna do something and I’m not sure what, but by the chorus it becomes total lyrical cringefest; i don’t want to like it but it keeps me interested; I really appreciate the sentiment, but it’s like reading love letter from a schoolboy, he’s cute but it’s awkward as fuck; also it gets me because my life is a joke and it’s a reminder that truly wherever I go he’ll be the one

haunting in every way possible (I just randomly looked at left and I swear that’s his spirit self trolling me for not feeling this album, I mean who is even genuinely named Theo in this country) Chaperone - I hate it; below basic; Love Yourself by Justin Bieber and the rest of those in the same manner; don’t even get me started on fedora guy lyrics

Boyfriend - I can’t this one; they think they’re Prince and INXS and so smooth and cool but really someone just spent too much of his free time with Healy and the1975; this song is written at least 30 times so far in history and what’s the use of them making another one Walk Away - hello Charli XCX; “eo eeoh eo eo” WHY; oh and that intentional accentuated part at the end which we will all repeat on gigs while they instruct us to clap along eeeek

Wait Up - started nice musically like yes this could be the one and then those lyrics oh my god HOW DARE THEY combine smooth jazzy rnb with such asshole fuckboy lyrics ?! I am so angry; actually congratulations on making me feel at least some real emotion, amazing, I want to hear it never again; what am I supposed to do with this song, what is the occasion to listen to it? putting it on when getting frisky with a partner? fancy hearing about some jerk while you’re getting touched how you like? consulting it when debating whether letting some sleazy slimy excuse of a man humiliate and ruin your life? listening to it while reminiscing worst times in your failed relationships? sing along at gigs god forbid?

Spotlights - I’m torn on this one; maybe I’ll like it when I see the lyrics, I can’t decipher all; music gives me Vegas casino vibes idk why

Magnificent - melody reminds me of Love Is All Around (intentional?) and message is so sweet; it’s about us and them and about the two of them and it will be soooo beautiful singing it together at gigs like the family we are; I’m confused by “you held my heart in your hand while it was still beating”  tho; like, is it not beating anymore? what did they try to convey here? someone enlighten me

(oh and as this song was starting, out of nowhere comes a stray dog behind me and bumps into me and I startle and jump a little because I had earphones in and didn’t hear him, and he looks me with that silly super excited dog smile and there comes another one waggling his tail at me and suddenly they’re now chasing one another and playing on the freshly kept almost fake looking grass in front of a closed shopping mall at 11pm to “so take a look around it’s so magnificent this love of ours is something brilliant” and it looks like a bizarre hallmark postcard so much that I start laughing out loud like a maniac which just excites and encourages them even more and from that point on they would not leave me and they walked beside me and we roamed empty streets listening to Hurts together lol and then I started following their lead like hm just for the fun of it let’s see where they would go and we go into this little street and there’s a table and I glance over it and it says Jure Kerosevica which can be translated as something along Chase Doggovich Street AND I JUST LOST IT LAUGHING) Anyways, I’ll adore them till the day I die and I’ll always run to see them whenever they come and I’ll support their efforts, but in general this is the direction I was hoping they will not choose to take. I can mentally appreciate certain things, but I’m still not feeling it much. Sadly, it doesn’t move me at all. If I have to name favourites those would be (in no particular order) Hold Onto Me, People Like Us, Wherever You Go and Magnificent. Good that may come from this is that they satisfied whatever particular ambition they wanted to satisfy and in future they move onto something else and completely different. Also if there’s anything autobiographical in it, I hope this helped them exorcise their complicated love affairs and demons akin, because most of the lyrics are damn deceptive and when you think about them, in the way certain lines are folded, where they’re placed and how they’re sang, they show an immature, self-indulgent, reckless and borderline insulting narcissistic behavior. Kinda telling why their faces on the cover are hiding and perfectly telling why Desire. Visually too, it advertises itself as Valentines Day chocolate candy, but it’s half empty inside. Careful what you call love and who you fall in love with :)

[reminiscent-bells]

Regretfest 2017: La La Land

I saw online there was a good deal at the local movie theater - $35 to see every Best Picture-nominated film and the short film nominees - and a thought began to form in my head. What if we could autopsy the bizarre, horrible year of 2016 through its Oscar nominees? Could someone, somehow, reverse engineer whatever led us to this nightmare we can't stop waking up from by reading the entrails of what a bunch of the liberal elite think are the best feature length films?

I decided the answer was maybe, but that person probably isn't me, so this is what you get instead: a gussied-up version of some notes I jotted down in my phone while waiting for the car to warm up.

La La Land is, as you might have heard, a musical. It also happens to be about actors/Hollywood, which has me dreading its chances for the little gold man. I'm going to try to avoid turning this into a full synopsis of the movie and just say that it tracks Mia (Emma Stone), a barista/aspiring actress and Sebastian (Ryan Gosling), a pianist-for-hire/aspiring jazz musician as they fall in and out of love in and around Los Angeles (GET IT).

(An aside here: There's been a lot of talk online by people much smarter than me about the choice to cast the jazz musician lead here as a white guy. I have to say I agree that it's a poor one. There's a good game talked about the black jazz musicians of the past, and mercifully the movie does cast black actors in most (maybe all?) of the other jazz musician roles, but the only time the movie directly addresses race and jazz is in a brief bit by Gosling that makes out jazz to be some kind of great multicultural endeavor. I can't claim to know enough about jazz to know whether this is a commonly accepted viewpoint or not, but it's....certainly something.)

In any case, my larger bone to pick with this movie is that it eagerly touts itself as a return to the old-fashioned Hollywood musical, but there certainly don't seem to be a lot of musical numbers and the movie only seems to half-heartedly commit to a lot of them. My standard post-movie consultation of the IMDB trivia page shows a comment that this is something of an intentional choice - the music leaves the movie when Stone and Gosling break up, and returns when Stone finally finds happiness - but it still feels like a lot of wasted potential. I'm not that much of a fan of the song that everyone seems to love talking about, "Another Day of Sun", where a vast army of Angelenos leaps from their cars in the midst of a traffic jam to dance on an onramp - this is going to sound a little nuts, but after the crazy car spectacle of Fury Road last year, it just feels phoned-in. (Sidebar: I'm looking forward to the Boston-based musical in a few years that opens with "Another Day in the Ninth Circle" as two guys in Bruins gear attempt to brain each other with snow shovels over a space saver.) However, the two songs that follow it, "Someone in the Crowd", with Mia and her roommates getting prepped for/going to a party, and "A Lovely Night", where Sebastian and Mia sarcastically comment on how silly it would be if they were to get together, are genuinely fun and are a nice exhibition of Stone playing things up and Gosling playing things down to great effect. (However, I'll note that even here there are half-measures: there seems to be a really cool dance routine at the end of "Someone in the Crowd", but the camera is half-in, half-out of a swimming pool and you can't really see anything.)

At this point, it starts to get rough. "City of Stars" is perfomed by Gosling solo and then a longer version with Gosling and Stone together, there's a concert scene after Gosling joins a band that I guess technically counts but isn't much of a number, and then everything else is instrumentals until Mia finally gets her break with "Audition/The Fools Who Dream", which is a very nice perfomance by Stone that had me worrying someone, somewhere was checking off La La Land for Best Picture. There's a beautiful scene where Mia and Sebastian sneak into Griffith Observatory, turn on the planetarium dome, and suddenly float into the air to dance among the stars - why isn't there a song for this? The epilogue of the movie is mostly an extended dream sequence where Mia has an extended dream sequence imagining an alternate life where she stayed with Sebastian - which just has an instrumental track and no song. (This actually gets kind of creepy, as it takes its point of divergence as an earlier moment where Sebastian walks right past an adoring Mia in the restaurant he's playing at, and continues from there to the point where the two are now married, and are basically living through the scene with Mia and her husband going out and ending up at the jazz bar as we just saw it. I half expected to come home and read that David Lynch sleepwalked onto the set, tried to start shooting the Club Silencio sequence from Mulholland Drive, and had to be escorted out by security.) In short: if you're going to have a couple dozen people dancing on cars on the LA freeway at the beginning and Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling dancing on a nebula, why not write a few more songs?

Setting aside the musical side of this, though, it's still a pretty well-together movie. There is a bit of a strange part where Mia's boyfriend (who I don’t think we’ve seen before this point?) shows up out of nowhere and drags her away from a first date with Sebastian to go pick up his brother at the airport or something. This does lead to one of the movie's nicest moments, though - as the boyfriend, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend yammer on about some resort they went to (all of them look like extras from American Psycho), Mia, who had earlier complained about how jazz was overused as background music for parties, hears the jazz on the restaurant's speakers grow louder and louder until it drowns out the conversation and she runs away to see Sebastian. The big blowup between Mia and Sebastian is also well-staged - it has that circuitous feeling of the First Big Argument in a relationship where after a while it becomes unclear how you got to this point or where you're even trying to go to.

Overall, I enjoyed this but it's not my favorite thing. I'm worried that the Academy will just pick this and call it a day, because it seems like the safest, most boring choice possible for them in a year that seems to have some really interesting ones.

Tomorrow night: Fences