#like society is necessary but just as necessary is the ability to escape into nature. i *think* it was coleridge i’m probably wrong.

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

[mutantenheim]

Her mutant file designated her as the digits [J3N]. Who's knows why other than to dehumanize her and give her a 'number', as it were. He file stated that they had acquired [J3N], as an infant, from some Black Market auction to buy mutants, so needless to say that [J3N] did not know who her parents were, or whether she had any siblings. The facility did all kinds of experiments to her, from the time that they had purchased her, no faux parental figures, no acting like they loved her to get her to do things. It was all sterile, medical, very clinical. Eventually, as [J3N] got older and her mutation finally activated, they continued to do the experiments but eventually there was less scientists and more military-like personnel. Once [J3N] had some semblance of control of her mutation, they began training her, turning her into a child soldier, and once it was shown that she could refract the light-waves to make her eyes not seem like their natural state of the red irises with the black where there would usually be the white in the sclera, that the facility could train her in being a mutate sleeper agent. [J3N]'s eyes were the same as the eyes of her brother, Remy LeBeau, although neither knew that the other existed at this point, let alone that they were or even had a sibling. The facility trained her to make her sclera be white, not black and her irises seem like a ruddy amber brown color, to fit into normal society, and not be suspected as a mutant and could be used to infiltrate places and retrieve valuable information or, if need be, assassinate a necessary target. After 14 years going through that hell an opportunity presented itself to [J3N], one of the other test subjects that had been in there a few times, she had even escaped at least once, and was unfortunately caught and brought back to the facility. This time though, the subject known as Anya Barnes, her father came back with her, but more like a wrecking ball in tow. Bucky Barnes came in fast to save his daughter, [J3N] offering her unique abilities, including her minor precognitive abilities to help them to escape from the facility. Once they had escaped, [J3N] ended up staying with her new found family, the Barnes'. Bucky, and Natasha raising their two kids Anya and Jamie and now [J3N] or as she came to be known, Jenny or Jen.

Jenny stood on the front porch of the small house that she, and the Barnes family, were staying in. The sun had just recently melted behind the tree line, a cool summer evening breeze blew through Jenny's red hair, as she watched the sunset. It hadn't been more than a month since Anya and her escape. Everything was still fresh. Jenny wasn't even sure who she was, what she liked. She liked watching the sunset, she liked feeling the breeze. Jenny knew that for sure. She sat down on the warped boards of the rickety front porch, and sighed in relaxation.

@vintertsarn [Jamie Barnes]

[thornybubbles]

JJBA Yandere Scenario: Jealousy (The Jo-Foes) Diego (with Outlaw Reader)

**Note: Been a while I know. I’m not sure I have a great grasp on Diego’s character here, but I tried. If this seems rushed and jumbled I’m sorry. This particular story was cobbled together from two different ideas and it might seem a little weird. Sorry this took so long to get out, too. I’ve been occupied with other things lately. I also didn’t do much in the way of proofreading this, so I apologize for any grammar or spelling mishaps. I’ll fix any that I find later. I just wanted to get this one out there as I was overdue for another fic. The next chapter of “Kinder Than Love” will be out soon for those of you that follow that story. **

Diego wasn’t too proud to admit to himself that he adored you. He should be angry at allowing himself to catch feelings when he had more important things to worry about. He had hired you in secret to keep tabs on Valentine and make sure that the underhanded politician kept his side of their bargain and didn’t do anything shady behind his back. He didn’t trust that frilly fop any more than he was willing to let Johnny Joestar win the race. Naturally, he couldn’t take part in the race while also keeping an eye on Valentine. You were also meant to spy on Joestar and Gyro and let him know what they were up to. Having you around had already made his life much easier... and a lot more fun.

Diego hired you due to your strange ability to hide in plain sight. You had no Stand that he was aware of, but you had an uncanny, almost supernatural ability to blend  into your surroundings in such a way that you could be standing right beside someone and they would never notice that you were there. Diego thought that you would make a wonderful assassin. Unfortunately you had no interest in such things. It was a shame. There were quite a few people on Diego’s “to be eliminated” list. Ah well. It was far better to handle one’s enemies on one’s own terms anyway. 

Diego admired your survivalist spirit. You were practically one with nature and exemplified the notion of “kill or be killed”. But you were willing to take a life only if it was absolutely necessary. It was the one flaw Diego saw in your otherwise perfect design. There were other little things that you did that drew him to you but the main thing about you that he loved was… a little bit twisted. 

He loved the fact that he had you trapped. You didn’t know it yet, but he had you in a deceitful snare that you would never, ever be able to escape from. You would not know the nature of that snare until many months into the race, when an unforeseen change in the weather and damage to the area due to the resulting storms caused the race to be postponed for a few days. 

It was then that you met the strange, but sweet soul who you came to know as Mr. Le Mans. While you prided yourself on your ability to be unnoticeable even in a crowd, Le Mans noticed you when no one else did. Every time he stepped into the saloon where you were having your meals, his eyes would zero in on you. He would come over to your little corner where you hid to have your meals, and the two of you would talk. 

At first it made you very uncomfortable. Diego had made it expressly clear that he didn’t want you talking to anyone. You were supposed to remain as a living shadow, moving through the crowds, blending in, and never doing anything to call attention to yourself. Not only that, but due to certain unpleasantness from your past, you couldn’t afford to have anyone get too close to you. You tried to get away from him a few times but, you found yourself beginning to crave the attention he gave you. 

It had been ages since anyone had a real conversation with you (that didn’t involve something shady). You found that you rather enjoyed talking about mundane things like the weather, food, and local landmarks. After years of living on the outskirts of society, never allowing yourself to mingle with others, and becoming something like a living ghost while surrounded by people, it felt nice to have someone do something as simple as notice that you were there. 

You didn’t realize how lonely you were until Le Mans entered your life. You’d only known him for a few days and already you were beginning to feel attached to him somehow. Diego was less than pleased. He walked into the saloon one day, spotted you and Le Mans sitting and chatting together, and gave you such a scathing look that you felt as if you'd actually been slapped. That night, he found you at your usual camping spot outside of town, and verbally ripped into you. 

“What the hell are you thinking?!” he hissed. “You’re supposed to be laying low, not getting chummy with the locals! If anyone realizes that you’re working with me, it could put all of my plans in jeopardy! You stay the hell away from the dandy or you’ll find yourself out of a job!” 

That’s what led to you meeting Le Mans in secret. What Diego didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. Unfortunately for you, Diego did know. He knew all about you and Le Mans and your secret rendezvous. He also knew about how Le Mans pressed an adoring kiss to your lips at the end of each of your meetings. The thought of someone else kissing you caused him to go absolutely feral. The image of Le Mans’ filthy mouth tainting your precious lips played over and over again in his mind until his vision blurred and he could feel his teeth lengthening inside of his mouth. Even as he lurched into the wilderness, hunched over like a beast on the hunt, he couldn’t erase the image of your flustered face from his mind. 

They found what was left of Le Mans a day later. A bear got to him, so they said. You were stunned. Just as soon as you found the slightest spark of joy, life came along and snuffed it out completely. It was karma, you supposed. You didn’t deserve any joy really. Not after the things you’d done. Though, Le Mans didn’t deserve to die in such a way; partially eaten by some wild animal…. What a horrible way to go. You spent the next few days sobbing in your dark corner of the saloon. No one came to comfort you. No one even looked your way. It was like nothing changed. People passed you by as if you weren’t even there. You’d gone back to being unnoticed and overlooked. It didn’t bring you the feeling of safety that it used to. Now, you just felt miserable and more lonely than you ever thought possible.

The damage from the storms had finally been cleared and the Steel Ball Run race was no longer being delayed. Diego would be leaving the little town along with the other racers, and you would be expected to follow after him. And so you did. Your half blind mule was nowhere near as fast and agile as some of the race horses, but he made up for it with his ability to sniff out shortcuts through rougher terrain and his sure-footedness. If anyone spotted you they would assume that you were just some wandering vagrant and nothing more. They wouldn’t suspect you to be a spy or have anything to do with the Steel Ball Run race. They wouldn’t even bother to approach you, much less think to question you. 

It had been at least three days since you’d been back on the trail. Your mule managed to find a nice spot that overlooked the Joestar group’s camp and was situated in a way that prevented them from seeing your own campfire. From your vantage point, you could use your binoculars to watch what they were doing. While you were too far away to hear them, you could read their lips. So far Joestar was being sarcastic and the Zeppelli fellow was making jokes about his steel balls. So nothing special. You sighed, lowered your binoculars, and leaned back against a rock. You looked up into the starry sky and thought about Le Mans for the hundredth time that day. You’d been thinking about him alot lately. You’d only known him briefly, but got so attached to him in that short amount of time. You sighed again, closed your eyes for a moment, and did your best to choke back the tears. You wouldn’t cry again. It took so much out of you when you did. You missed Le Mans. You missed him very badly. You glanced back down at the Joestar group only to see that they had gone to sleep for the night. You may as well do the same. 

The sound of your campfire being stirred startled you. You turned to look to your right only to get startled again to see that Diego was sitting next to you, poking your fire with a stick. 

“M-Mr. Brando!!” You cried and he chuckled at your shocked expression. 

“Some spy you are.” he teased. “You let me sneak right up on you. Not only that, but you were letting your fire go out. You must be awfully distracted tonight if you’re that unaware of your surroundings.” 

He snapped the stick he was using to poke the fire in half and tossed it into the flames. Then he turned to you with a smirk. 

“Tell me what it is that has you so preoccupied.” he said, leaning towards you. 

You scooted back from him, feeling very uncomfortable. You didn’t know what it was but Diego’s presence had you on edge. He often visited your camp to hear what you had to say about either Valentine or Johnny Joestar, so it wasn’t as if his arrival was unusual… but something about him felt different tonight. He always seemed to have an air of danger around him, but tonight that air of danger felt downright deadly. You looked away from him, not willing to spill your personal thoughts to him. 

“I don’t have any information for you, tonight.” you said, attempting to change the subject. “Joestar and Zeppelli haven’t done anything out of the ordinary lately…” 

Diego interrupted you. 

“I didn’t come here to talk business. Not tonight.” he said. 

He moved around you so that he was once again in your line of vision. He was smiling in a way that made your stomach knot up. 

“W-what did you c-come to talk about then?” you asked, dreading the answer. 

“About us,” he answered. “About you and me…” 

You looked up at him in confusion. 

“About us? What about us?” You asked. 

“First let’s talk about you. I bet I can guess as to what you were thinking about before I snuck up on you…” 

And he was back on that topic again. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. 

“I don’t really want to talk about that.” you said. 

He ignored you completely. 

“You were thinking about that dandy boy again, weren’t you. What was his name again? Leemen? Layman?” 

“Le Mans,” you corrected. “Please, I really don’t want to talk about…” 

He cut you off again. 

“I know it must be hard losing someone like that. Especially, when you seemed so fond of him…” 

Your irritation flared and you stomped your booted foot on the ground. 

“Mr. Brando! I said I didn’t want to talk about it!” you shouted. 

“Shhhhhh,” he shushed you and suddenly he was holding your hands in his gloved ones, gently rubbing his thumbs against your knuckles. 

The action startled you and your anger was forgotten. His eyes had taken on a soft look that caught you off guard and shocked you into silence. Never since you’d known him had Diego Brando appeared soft or comforting in any way. He was either cold and calculating or a beacon of hate and rage. This was a side of him you’d never guessed existed. You made a slight attempt at pulling your hands out of his, but he used the opportunity to pull you closer to him. You found himself staring into his eyes for a moment. Finding the situation far too intimate, you turned away from him, staring at the ground instead. 

“Listen to me,” he began. “I understand. I do.” 

You looked back up at him. 

“Understand?” you questioned. 

He offered you a gentle smile.

“Yes. I understand what it means to lose someone, believe me.” he said and his eyes grew distant for a moment. 

“It’s not easy is it?” he said. 

“Mr. Brando… what are you getting at?” you asked. 

“You’re lonely, that’s what I’m getting at.” he said. 

You pulled yourself out of his grasp feeling that the situation was becoming a bit too intimate for your tastes. 

“Come now, don’t be that way.” he said with a light chuckle. 

He moved closer to you and you shied a little further away from him. 

“Fine, be the shrinking violet if you want, but hear me out.” he said, growing slightly annoyed with your standoffishness. 

“I know it’s been hard for you and I can’t imagine how it feels to have to skirt around on the outside of civilization unable to connect with anyone. You must feel like some kind of outcast. I can’t imagine how lonely it gets…” 

He took a single step closer to you and you froze. You understood now. You knew exactly what he was trying to say. In the time that you’d been working for him, Diego had become more and more “friendly” with you. Then came the complements, the gifts of supplies and equipment… it was Diego that bought you the binoculars that you’d been using. At the time you thought he was just giving you a means to better do your job, but when you thought back to some of his other behaviors, (how close he sat to you when he came to hear your reports, the pet names and out-of-nowhere complements, and the nasty looks he gave you when he saw you with Le Mans) you realized that there was far more to it than that. 

Diego was crushing on you. Very badly.

He suddenly had his arms around you and was pressing you into his chest. Panic rose into your chest and you tried to push away, but he tightened his hold on you. 

“If you stay by my side, you’ll never have to be lonely again.” he whispered into your ear. 

You managed to rip yourself out of his arms. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Brando,” you said, straightening yourself out and trying to quell the panic that was swelling up in your heart. “I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for you.” 

Diego's reaction was not what you expected. 

He stared at you with a blank expression for a moment before his lips stretched into a wicked grin. Then he laughed. He laughed and laughed until you started to become even more uncomfortable than you already were. After a few minutes of this, you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“What’s so funny?!” you demanded.  

Diego managed to reign in his laughter long enough to answer you.

“It’s funny…” he started, wiping tears from his eyes. “It’s funny because you think you actually have the right to refuse me.” 

You raised your eyebrows, stunned at the audacity of the statement. 

“Excuse me?” you said with disgust in your voice. Your panic was very quickly turning into anger. “Did you just say that I don’t have the right to refuse you?” 

Diego merely grinned at you. 

“I most certainly do have the right to refuse you! What makes you think YOU have the right to tell ME who I can and can’t refuse?” 

Diego’s grin seemed to stretch to the far reaches of his face for a split second and there was a flash of something utterly inhuman in his eyes. It shocked you right out of your tantrum. Your anger dissipated and slowly went back to panic. When Diego spoke again, your panic turned into pure horror. 

“No, you don’t have the right to refuse me, sweetheart.” he said in a mockingly soft tone. “You can’t refuse me, because if you do, a certain event from your past is going to make national news.” 

Event from your past? He couldn’t mean… Oh no. 

“Go on,” he said with a chuckle. “Ask me what I’m talking about.” 

No, no, he couldn’t be talking about that, you tried to reassure yourself. I’ll play dumb. I’m not going to let him know he’s affecting me…

“What ARE you talking about?” you asked, trying to keep your voice from shaking. 

“Oh nothing much.” he said. “Just a little bank robbery that happened a few years back… a bank robbery that you were involved in… a bank robbery that cost a little boy his life. Ring any bells?” 

No.

NO!

He knew! 

He KNEW!!!

Eight years ago, before you got involved with Diego, you had been a part of a gang of criminals that terrorized the state. You left them after an incident that made you question everything that you’d done up to that point. It was just supposed to be a bank heist. You were supposed to go into the bank, wave some guns around, demand the money, and leave. You hadn’t expected the sheriff and a posse of deputized locals to show up and try to stop you. There had been a shootout in the streets. A child ran into the crossfire in a panic, trying to get to his mother. He was killed. Shot in the head… by you. You killed that child right in front of his mother. You panicked and fled, leaving your allies behind to fend for themselves. You didn’t escape unscathed, however. A bullet grazed the side of your face, mutilating your ear in a way that would instantly give you away if anyone saw the wound. It was the reason you always wore your hair down. It covered your mangled ear and prevented anyone from relating you to the robbery. 

At least you had hoped that it would. 

Stubbornly, you continued to play dumb. 

“I’m not sure what you could be referring to.” You said. “Though if I was involved in such a thing, you have no proof of it.” 

Diego cocked his head to the side in a playful manner. 

“Oh don’t I?” he said. 

Your heart felt like it was going to leap out of your chest and your body felt like someone had just doused you in ice water. 

“I remember reading about it in the paper. The sheriff said that only one of the robbers got away. But not before he shot them in the ear…”

Your blood ran cold. 

He reached out, pulling your hair away from your right ear. You were frozen to the spot. You could only look up at him with wide eyes as you began to tremble like a scared mouse. He examined what was left of your ear, making note of the scar across your head and your missing helix and antihelix. 

“Hmm.” he mused. “Not much left of it, is there? You poor thing. That had to hurt like hell…” 

His gloved fingers traced your scar. You shuddered and jerked away from him. You pulled your hair back over your injured ear and stared at him in horror. 

He snickered at your reaction.

“Pretty damning evidence, I’d say.” he said in a casual manner, while affixing you with a glare. 

“T-the kid got in the way!” you stammered. “It was an accident! I never meant to kill him!” 

“Do you think the law cares about that? In their eyes, you’re just a lowly child-killing criminal. You don’t deserve any sympathy. Just a trip to the gallows.” Diego said with a scoff. 

You were going to be sick. 

“I have a lot of connections, love. One word from me and you’ll be in a noose faster than you can blink. So, no, you don’t have the right to refuse me, dearest.” 

You shrank in on yourself, clutching the sides of your head and squatting down on the ground. Your eyes were wide and unfocused, staring at the ground, unable to see anything but the visions of encroaching doom floating around in your head. 

Diego grabbed you by your arms and pulled you to your feet. He wasn’t even going to allow you a moment to have a mental collapse. You found yourself, once again, forced to look at his smiling face. There was something different about him now though. His features seemed sharper, longer somehow and his eyes had taken on a strange yellowish color. You had to be seeing things. The shock of having your darkest secrets revealed must be messing with your head more than you thought. 

“Did you think that you could just run away from what you’d done and pretend that it didn’t happen? Did you think that the blood washed off of your hands over the years? No! Once a killer always a killer! You didn’t stop with the child, did you? You have quite a gallery of victims, don’t you?” 

Diego licked his lips and you felt like he was savoring your guilt and terror. 

“I had no choice!” You protested. “They got too close! They were going to find out who I was and what I did! I had to defend myself!!” 

Diego snickered sadistically. 

“Defend yourself against what? Your rightful punishment?” he mocked. 

Tears were streaming down your face now and you felt your knees go weak. The only thing keeping you upright was Diego’s hold on you. 

“How do you know these things?” you demanded. 

Diego shook his head. 

“I have my ways. Not that it matters…” he said with a sneer. 

“Why then? Why are you doing this to me?” 

“Because I own you.” Diego said with a hungry smirk. “I owned you from the moment you started doing my dirty work.” 

You looked up with him in horror. Just how long had he… felt this way about you? Was this his plan from the very beginning? Did he already know about your past in advance and mean to use it against you before you’d even met him?

You supposed that none of those answers really mattered. 

In the end this was probably what people called “karma”. 

You ran from your life of crime years ago hoping to put all of that nasty business behind you and start anew, but it wasn’t that easy. People came looking for you: lawmen, bounty hunters, people who were too nosey for their own good. Your life became one of paranoia and unrest. People were dead because of the decisions you made. A child was dead because of you. A mother was heartbroken because you took her child from her in an act of carelessness. If you had never decided to join up with that group of bandits all for the sake of relieving boredom and money woes, none of it would’ve happened. And you wouldn’t be here at the mercy of a one Diego Brando. 

You reap what you sow…

“Dry those tears,” he said. “It’s rather insulting that you act that way after I ask you to be mine. Really, you act as if being with me is a punishment or something.” 

He chuckled darkly and shoved you away from him. 

“I’ve got to head back to my own camp or Hot Pants will start wondering what I’m up to.” he said as he started to walk away. “We’ll talk about this another time. I wouldn’t try to run off if I were you. Sweet dreams, love.” 

He disappeared into the darkness, laughing lowly at your plight. 

You sat there on your knees wanting to scream in despair and frustration. You should never have gotten involved with a man like Diego. Even after you swore off involving yourself with crime or shady dealings, you still found yourself lured to men like him. Either they came to you or you stupidly sought them out for one reason or another. And now you were stuck being the unwilling romantic companion to a madman. 

You suddenly found yourself thinking of Le Mans again. 

You weren’t sure, but you had a sickening feeling that Diego was involved with his death somehow. You couldn’t forget the look he gave you when he saw you with Le Mans in the saloon. What you knew of Diego said that he was absolutely the type to kill a man out of jealousy. Still people said that Le Mans had died to an animal attack. No human could rip a man apart like that… could they?

Whatever the case, you couldn’t stay with Diego. You had only agreed to work for him until the Steel Ball Run race was over. You never agreed to being his lover. The idea made your skin crawl. Surely there was a way to escape him? If you ran now, it wouldn’t matter who he told about your crimes. You’d be long gone by the time anyone came for you. That was it! You would leave right now! 

You got up to begin packing up your things when your left arm started stinging horribly. You gasped in pain and looked at your arm to see that your sleeve was ripped and bloodstained. How on earth had that happened? You pushed the fabric of your sleeve aside to see that there was a bloody gash there. Did Diego do that when he grabbed you? Did he have a knife in his hand at the time? You vaguely remember feeling his fingernails jabbing into you, even through his gloves, as he grabbed you, but surely they weren’t as long and sharp enough to cause a cut like that! And how could he have cut you through his gloves? The wound didn’t seem too deep but it was bleeding a lot. You would have to treat it before you made a run for it. You wouldn’t be able to escape if you bled out beforehand. 

Pain abruptly shot through your arm. It seemed to spread from your wound to the rest of your body. You grasped your bloody arm, panting in agony for a moment. After a few minutes, the pain faded. If you didn’t know better, your thoughts of escape were somehow linked to the pain in your arm. But that’s ridiculous. You examined your wound again. It looked… strange. The skin around it was red and swollen, hinting an oncoming infection if not treated. But it also looked cracked and kind of scaly. Odd. Gangrene? No. You’d seen gangrene before. It was ugly, but it didn’t look like that. You really needed to patch that wound before it got worse. Then you could pack your things and…

Another jolt of pain surged through your arm and your mind went fuzzy. 

You were vaguely aware of your mule, who was tied nearby, snorting and pawing nervously at the ground. 

The pain only lasted a few seconds this time. Your brain still felt like it was in a haze though. You were probably just tired. You couldn’t focus on much except your arm… and thoughts of Diego…

You wanted to fix your arm and… there was something else you wanted to do but you couldn’t remember. 

Was it… escape? 

Escape from what? 

Diego told you not to run off. So you wouldn’t. 

You looked down at your arm again. It really looked strange now. Far too scaly, but you weren’t too worried about it. Your tongue lolled out of your oddly lengthed mouth and you gave the cut a few licks. Once the blood was cleaned off you looked at the wound. It seemed to have stopped bleeding. You would put some antiseptic on it later. At the moment you needed sleep. You flopped over into the dirt, not even bothering to crawl into your sleeping bag. 

Your poor mule didn’t get much sleep that night. He spent the better part of the night keeping a wary eye on the beast that used to be his master, just in case it decided to wake up and devour him. 

You dreamed of Diego and nothing else. 

[dailyanarchistposts]

Introduction

If ecology is being in a mutually beneficial relationship with the land that we live on, rather than forcing the land into subservience to us, it would mean challenging our entire notion of what society is.

What would our planet look like if industrialism were not in place? Could experiments in living be the solution to the social crises facing humans and to the ecological crises engulfing practically all life-forms? Isn’t access to land a necessary condition for any self-organized, self-directed group of people? Will anarchist rebellion naturally lead to a society of free people living in conjunction with healthy habitats? If not, what sorts of natural and human relationships might arise from, and sustain, an ecologically-informed anarchist rebellion? These were the types of questions I was considering when I began writing the articles found in this book.

Digressions make conversations interesting, the adage goes, and so it was with my investigation and research. Along the way I learned that theories are most often just opinions and ideologues are imprisoned by ideas. I learned that assertions are generally less interesting than questions explored among friends. I learned that jargon is a sign of weakness, and that a manifesto yells while a romance whispers.

I have been inspired by the specific martial skills used by countless generations of people and communities resisting conquest and how those people kept martial approaches from dominating their social fabric. The essay Of Martial Traditions grew out of this interest. We need as many skills as possible to be successful and we needn’t fear that studying martial abilities leads inevitably to leftism. Martial skills can be used by individuals or by groups, as part of a push toward the acquisition of land or to attack an institution or individual. I was originally inspired by their potential for emerging communities of resistance, but discovered that these are skills that are useful generally.

I also discovered the historical existence of a band of escaped indentured servants in 18th century Newfoundland, Canada who successfully evaded authority by living in the wilderness for nearly four decades. You can read about this in The Society of Masterless Men.

Complete transformation, of our relationships with each other and with our natural environments, is both possible and urgent. The more widespread the participation in the thrust toward transformation, the quicker and more likely it will happen. Ultimately, it means overturning and dismantling the global grid of authoritarian and capitalist institutions that dominate us. If having a reciprocal relationship with a natural environment is inherently healthy because this creates habitats, which in turn sustain their living inhabitants, then a focus on occupying a land base would seem always positive. Local or regional undertakings in acquiring these bases seem the most sensible. Actions around re-appropriating land, because they undermine the state and the market’s control over our shared environment, help destroy the global institutions which prevent us from having land in the first place.

Isn’t it likely that the planetary network of authority and economics can only be defeated through multitudes of local and regional uprisings, ruptures and occupations, coalescing in an organic way? A single, overarching, world-wide movement would require complex international organizations to coordinate and manage, and this would open up the possibility and even likelihood, for new global institutions to form and dominate our lives in different ways. At the very least, the less diverse a movement, in terms of means and participants, the less diverse will be the resulting outcome, in terms of possible social relationships, should it succeed.

If we envision global revolution as the merging of countless numbers of local ruptures and rebellions, we can help prefigure this diversity by making our practice conform to our vision. ■ The essay Land and Liberty fleshes out some possible answers and approaches to questions of habitat and resistance, of the dynamic between local and global.

I looked into one of the main solutions environmentalists have been pursuing, i.e. the creation of parks and conservation areas. One of the many things I learned from this research is that the healthiest natural environments, often called wilderness areas, were not necessarily without human occupation. I share some of this research in the article On Parks. The first parks were indigenous peoples land bases. Many conservation areas are chosen because they appear pristine and untouched, but their very health, diversity and even sometimes beauty are often the result of generations of occupation by people who tended and protected and interacted with them, and this trend continues today. Hopefully this fact will help counter some of the misanthropy prevalent in certain environmentalist circles.

A while ago, many anti-authoritarians were reading and excitedly sharing a book called Temporary Autonomous Zones by Hakim Bey. This book spoke to investigations into what kinds of activities are not only worth initiating, but, given our lives within capitalist civilization, are possible to accomplish. My piece Permanent Subsistence Zones addresses those questions with a different answer, positing permanence and subsistence as the groundwork for the possibility of lives based around freedom and pleasure. While the specific actions in that article didn’t endure, it is the type of experimenting we need to engage in as part of our attempt to create ecological relationships with the places where we live.

Ponds and Oceans, a collection of simple phrases and proverbs, offers a different way of expressing some of my ideas. They are also a nod to the game of Go, an ancient board game or mental martial art widely played in most eastern countries and which uses proverbs as a teaching tool. In that collection, I use the noun federation and the verb tofederate. I do not intend these in the leftist sense of a formal organization with members, policies, a programme, etc., that seeks to take on a political or representative role. Tofederate, in my usage, means to not be afraid of collective power or will. Dismantling the institutions that prevent us from re-appropriating our lives means exploring ways in which to band together. We do this in order to more successfully protect each other from, and to take offensive actions against, those institutions, but as well to practice mutual aid and to cooperate on a larger scale than say within a group of friends or a single occupation site.

I also include a series of phrases in that piece based around the concept of withdrawal. While I question civilization, as I understand it, generally, the civilization which dominates us today is capitalist civilization. This specific civilization relies on statist and economic institutions which in turn rely heavily on technological means to maintain and advance its control. I refer often to secession and withdrawal, but I do not encourage these activities as a form of dropping out, but as a strategy for healing, for regrouping, for training, etc. Furthermore, I recognize that to simply withdraw and try to defend a place might lead to a series of losing battles, but I don’t think that this is the obvious or predictable outcome. I see withdrawal as a form of rebellion, as a way of weakening the existing order by withholding participation in it and ultimately as a way to better prepare ourselves for attacking its institutions from a place of communal strength.

Of course, not everyone can do this. I speak from my particular geographical and cultural place. I’m not trying to advance a universally applicable approach to rebellion. Where ever one finds oneself, whether it is in a prison or a city or a religious cult or a factory or whatever, one does one’s best to fight against the immediate experience of living under the civilized order. We need to attack and not just withdraw, but we also need to withdraw and not just attack. A dynamic between the two seems most promising.

As it stands now, some prioritize attack (black bloc, demos, strikes, sabotage, etc.) then disperse and disappear, which is ineffectual, while others withdraw (form communes, co-ops, community gardens, avoid wage labor, etc.) and never attack, which is equally so.

With the wisdom of hindsight, we can see that certain permutations of human organization are inherently destructive, both to our individual existences and to the environments that sustain us. These are the urban and authoritarian arrangements. The controlled existence of mass society is simply harmful and unnecessary.

There are infinite variations on how humans can organically self-organize in much healthier ways, so there is no need for blueprints or proposals to present that might detail such anarchic arrangements. However, I do allow myself to take a brief speculative stroll into the immediate future of a city following the destruction or collapse of urban society in my opening essay, An Open Offer. This might give the impression that I am arguing for transitional time periods. But this is not the case. Clearly cityscapes can be re-naturalized to some extent, but urban living itself is antithetical to anarchic ways.

Therefore, I would argue for the abandonment of cities and against the herculean efforts which would be necessary to redesign, reform and rehabilitate them. But there might be places where rehabilitation is necessary, for many reasons, and I am using this essay to point out that in these areas a transition from city to autonomous clan or village, from atomized urban dweller to free, wild being is possible.

The means of production did not have to develop from empire and conquest, through primitive accumulation to feudalism and on through to industrialism on a long painful path to utopia, a belief touted by both the lords of capitalism and the Marxist prophets of socialism. All that blood and exploitation and sacrifice have causes located in domination, not in any inevitable or desirable direction toward the positive achievements of something called “progress.” Partly because of this, you will find within my meta-narrative a great admiration for many of the cultures of land- based peoples, which I find consistently superior to urban/civilized ones. I believe that many primitive people consciously refused to allow institutions of domination to take root in their societies. This is an important difference from others who believe that because the non-civilized never had authoritarian institutions which they destroyed and dismantled, we can’t consider them examples of authentic anarchic cultures.

Urban societies are founded on constraints, on maintaining their regimes by suppressing the individual not only through laws but through the generalized fear of ungoverned individuals. But political authority and institutional bullying are inherently weak or non-existent in small-scale cultures. Therefore, free individuals have a far greater chance of surviving and thriving outside of urban (massified) existence. Or to put it another way, within small scale sets of social relationships constraints on the individual are much more difficult to establish.

Society, in the sense of that which is hostile and oppressive to the individual, has as a precondition: urban life.

Small bands of friends or even the human relationships which exist in small villages are not societies. Of course, I am talking about voluntary associations between people on a small scale. I’m aware that authoritarian cults, for instance, exist regardless of their size. I look at de-massifying our lives as important not only as a way of healing the environment through the eradication of industrialism, but because the more massified our settlements, the more human freedom is reduced.

Individual freedom thrives within a group of other free individuals, but the larger the group, the greater the depth and width of the constraints and the more impersonal the control mechanisms. Small groups of free individuals do not seem to legitimately constitute societies. One can be embedded in a group (which in turn is embedded in a place) and not experience any inherent antagonisms with the relationships that together constitute the collective. A group of people sharing agreements and practicing subsistence together does not establish a society. It is in this sense that the ungoverned, nature-loving individual is at the heart of my conception of an ecologically minded anarchism.

A group of friends who have been exploring many of the same proposals in this collection have recently begun using the expression “insurrectionary subsistence”as a way to summarize their ideas. Keep an eye out for pamphlets, magazines and essays with this headline in it if you are interested in broadening your understanding or participating in associated activities. I have been using “organically self-organized subsistence movements”, which also grew out of our discussions and actions, as an encapsulating phrase. Both of these give an idea of the direction some of us believe rebels should be going in.

It is my hope that these articles contribute some original thought, but I would be most pleased if they helped foster a new spirit.

[the-gateway-to-madness]

So anyway Ducktales 2017 is super fun for me because I'm literally exactly like Louie except I have a deep-rooted fear of becoming him because I live in reality and not a mansion-

There's satisfaction for him in finding loopholes, putting together the pieces in various situations, and being the strategist, but at the same time he can't think too much about the future or he'll stress out (given the fact the creators of the show confirmed Louie is like this because he grew up poor and took on a lot of that pressure emotionally, I assume that's part of why he doesn't plan for his future, but anyway-).

For him, that means coming up with strategies and tactics in the moment, on adventures. For me, that means finding ways to carefully integrate fictional characters and OCs into established worlds, analyzing things and picking them apart. Either way, we're not planning ahead all that far, both trying to escape reality.

And he's smart. Like, REALLY smart. But he's insecure about it because he's not book-smart in a family that really values book-smart. His family never really makes him feel bad for not being their kind of smart, just for the actions that stem as a result of it (his schemes, for example). You can tell they don't understand how he thinks, except Della (i, too, have a parent who gets me and a parent who does Not), and he has a lot of emotionally vulnerable moments with her because of that.

He only lets down his guard and genuinely connects with people he really feels get him, even though he's very eloquent and perfectly capable of casual connections with almost anyone. Same. I'm deeply, almost self-damagingly empathetic- my emotional attachments are a point of great vulnerability for me. I've chosen to embrace that vulnerability and the closeness and care it can bring me, but that's not a very natural choice for Louie like it is for me.

A lot of society only really seems to value "math-smarts", like what Huey has- more rigid intelligence, strong memorization of facts and figures, and being adept with numbers if you're lucky. But Louie has "language-smarts". Flexible, adaptable to different situations, but wow you don't come off as smart most of the time when you're this kind of smart. I was reading at a 12th grade level in 3rd grade- I know for a fact I grasp the English language at an abnormal level. But that intelligence really isn't applicable in a lot of situations, and I 100% recognize the form of lacking-self-esteem that comes with it- the form Louie shows consistently in season 2. For him, his linguistic, flexible, imaginative intelligence comes out as strategizing, lying, and scheming. For me, it comes out as quick, easy storytelling/writing with friends.

We share an ability to see patterns others don't while missing the patterns others do see.

Our kind of intelligence comes with this- very basic level of practicality. I hate sports because they seem unnecessary, over-hyped. I don't want to do a lot of very societally normal things because they seem convoluted and not necessary for happiness. I engage with television and movies because I find the construction of story and characters fascinating.

It all makes me feel like I'm lazy or can't ever do enough because I just... don't have an interest in a lot of things that people think one should. It's like- there's this level of intrinsic, constant self-awareness and practicality in me, to the point where I feel incapable of engaging with anything that doesn't interest me.

Combine that mentality with the burnout and emotional strain of being under severe financial pressure your entire life and, more specifically, not being able to do anything about it or get out of it- so why try to do anything at all? -, and bam, you get Louie Duck. He's motivated by money because to him money = comfort, and comfort = safety.

I also started consciously knowing what it'd be like and feel like when my childhood ended at something like- age 15 or 16. I was desperate to cling to the freedom, the lack of responsibility, the privilege of a safety net- for years. I see some of that in Louie too.

Oh, and of course Bobby Moynihan sold it. Really just went all in on giving Louie depth and feeling, 10/10 incredible performance-

Point is, it's cool to see someone who thinks like me actually portrayed pretty accurately onscreen. Thanks @suspendersofdisbelief :)

[hollowsart]

Folivora dnd race lore in my mind cuz I can't stop thinking about it now and feel like people could enjoy this!

(I love sloths, so I felt it right to do some justice to this fun homebrew dnd race I only JUST recently learned about!!)

(also feel free to add onto & build off from this if you'd like):

- Written historical documents written by Folivorans states there was once a special tree their ancestors came across. The grooves within the bark would pulse and glow. Plant life flourished around it. The first few who ate the leaves from the tree were gifted a higher intelligence and a higher sentience. The tree was revered by the newly enlightened Folivorans and guarded and tended to with care. As the centuries went on, the Folivorans would gradually evolve, becoming more humanoid, walking on their hind legs and carrying themselves on land. These documents were inscribed on wood sheets with their claws.

- There is a special tree within the center of Folivora society, this is the tree spoken about in the historical documents. Any newly born Folivorans will be fed a leaf from the tree until they reach 5 years of age. This is merely ritual by the modern age, the first Folivora peoples had absorbed all the magic and knowledge bestowed upon them and passed it down to their descending generations.

- Folivora resemble sloths, having descended from them originally. Arms nearly as long as their bodies from the neck down, short legs, mildly long necks which can swivel their heads around 270 degrees. They vary in appearance, looking like either a 3-toed with a mask, or a 2-toed with 1 less finger/claw on their hands. When fully grown they can be between 3-4 feet. With bodies covered in fur which can come in a range from light tan, dark brown, and even grey, the fur is prone to growing algae, giving the fur a greenish tint. They mate for life and although compatible with a fair number of other races, they can't reproduce with any race outside their own. And it's uncommon/rare for a Folivoran to mate with a different race.

- Folivora mating behaviors can be quite unique, especially for the women. Eliciting short but loud squeaks and squeals that the men find appealing and is of a single note. It can be a very flustering and embarrassing time for female Forivolans. The squeaks escaping them when they find they have caught feelings. It is often involuntary and comes and goes. It usually goes away as soon as they've.. well. Some don't experience this, however. Uncommon, but it's been documented within their history that there are some who just don't experience that, not making a sound and finding it difficult to find a mate or just not being interested in finding or having one. A few have even been noted to squeak when with cherished friends.

- Folivora live within homes built into trees, bridges of wood and vines connects their homes and trees. Nests of grass and inedible leaves are where they sleep. They have a rather rich society and love to decorate their hair and fur with flora accessories. Used vines to create a wide number of things they use in their everyday lives; Bags, bridges, as ropes, belts, hair ties, and more.

- The leaves of the tree at the center of their very civilization had granted them a bit of magic. Allowing them to spread and carry the ability to bring life to almost any plant. It's not much by default, but with practice and training, they can achieve some pretty impressive feats of influence upon the nature that surrounds them. This magic can also be seen in a warm green glow in their fur as they sleep. It can be seen during the day, but is most clear at night, seeing the swirls & patterns that dance in their fur.

- They're a rather peaceful race, very kid and welcoming, but if necessary they can devise up some traps and plans to protect and ward off any threats. They feed mostly on leaves, but they will also feast of fruits and veggies. As a treat they can't help but seek out the joys of berries and especially hibiscus flowers which are hard to come by within their forest location. They'll more than gladly barter and trade for those flowers.

- While sloths are their ancestors, they are considerably faster and capable of quicker, swifter movements. Still a bit slow compared to others, they make up for it with their claws and teeth which had not changed at all from centuries before (only gaining some extra teeth to aid in proper speech which developed rather quickly). They have a powerful bite and a swipe from their claws is nearly as dangerous as a blade or spear. They take care to maintain the health and growth of their teeth and claws.

- Due to their appetite and the biology of their teeth, much like sloths, Folivora are known to have blacked fangs. Young Folivora tend to have white teeth, but over time they may darken. The older the Folivora the darker and more black their fangs may get. This poses no real issues, however, but does cause a bit of lingering poisonous damage to any threats they bite. A bite from them is easy to get infected, causing the damage to weaken the enemy and make them very ill for quite some time if left untreated.

- Folivora love to spend their free time partaking within the various acts and forms of art, feast, or rest. Usually they require a fair bit of rest after performing any extended powerful magic. Expending too much energy requires a temporary period of deep rest for any creature or race, but especially for the Folivora.

[solarpunkpresentspodcast]

Questioning the “survival” narrative

After studying Cold-War, Canadian post-apocalyptic science fiction, I have decided that I don’t want to survive the post-apocalypse.

Or at least, I don’t want to do what it takes to survive. Not according to the tenets of the classic non-solarpunk sci-fi narrative, that is.

Hear me out: I’m all about making a better future according to the values of solarpunk. I choose to focus on and pay attention to the actions that are taking society towards a radically just and sustainable world, that sow the seeds of a brighter future by the dim light of the present. It helps me cope with the fact that it’s pretty dark out there right now. It helps me keep the shadows away from my soul; they might have slipped into the crevices of my brain, but solarpunk helps me to keep my heart clear. Mostly.

Some would say we’re living through an apocalypse. Some would argue that our society (as with many cultures around the globe) already experienced an apocalypse and is living in the aftermath, though many people are unaware of it. Because this apocalypse was of the revelation sort, many of us don’t have the ability to recognize the violence that has been done to us. The violence that we have done to ourselves. The violence that we now embody.

Have you read (non-solarpunk) post-apocalyptic novels? Have you watched the movies? What tends to happen to the characters? What do they do to survive? How do they make their way in this changed world, which is often more brutal?

Now think about those stories again, and this time think about the supporting characters: the young, the assigned-female, the gender-non-conforming, the racialized humans. In the dominant science fiction narrative of the post-apocalypse, what happens to those characters? What do they do to survive? How do they make their way in this changed world, which is often more brutal?

I’m already seeing some of the tropes coalescing irl, and I don’t like it. I’m thinking specifically of two that have made the jump from (science) fiction to real life - the assigned-female humans who take on the violence and domination of the patriarchy, proving that they are “one of the boys” and can hold their own in a fight (whether verbal or physical), and the assigned-female humans who escape into traditionalism, trading in freedoms for the assurance of economic, social, and/or physical safety from the violence of other humans (usually assumed to be the assigned-male ones).

These aren’t great options. They also are based in an understanding of the way that humans work that is faulty, that is perverse, that assumes violence is the answer even before posing the question, that thinks that obviously people will turn to fighting, chaos, and ruination as soon as the enforcement of civil law is taken away.

Have you heard the references to nature, red in tooth and claw? To how life is nasty, brutish, and short? Life is pain, anyone who tries to tell you different is selling something? Who killed the world? These make up the background chorus of post-apocalyptic narratives in my mind; pop culture has thoroughly commodified my imagination and thus is an informing factor of my thoughts and actions. I suspect this is the case for many.

It’s appealing, to rest the axioms of irl human behaviour on the literal worst way that we can treat each other and our selves. It’s so easy, to choose the violent way out. To give in to our base emotions, to let negative affects overwhelm us and carry us along in their flood, consequences be damned. When our adrenaline is up, the energy necessary to carry out terrible things is at most humans’ fingertips, and it’s not a difficult thing to unleash.

(I say this as an average-height, disabled ciswoman who is super out of shape. I’m not going to be beating anyone up physically any time soon because I am angry. But could I bully? Could I viciously tear down my conversational partner if I believe them to be an opponent? Could I make them feel awful? Yeah, probably. Sometimes, it’s hard not to cut someone down verbally, whether in real life or on social media or an anonymous messaging board. You know of what I speak, reader.)

Post-apocalyptic fiction that is gritty, that is dark, that is “realistic” - these stories assume that, in both fiction AND real life, humans are inherently lazy. Well, all humans except for our noble protagonists who, for some reason, have the fortitude and willpower to overcome this urge to easy violence in order to … do whatever it is that merits the win condition for the story medium they find themselves in, I suppose. Conversely, if we’re following an anti-hero, we may gleefully delight in their giving in to their urges to dominate others, as it reaffirms to us that even the most relatable of people can be cut down, brought low enough that their humanity no longer provides a constraining, conscientious barrier to violence.

Is the post-apocalyptic setting that operates according to these rules a fun one to romp around in fiction? Heck yes! Do I want to live there full-time? Hell, no.

I don’t want to continue to survive in a world where the dominant consensual hallucination has agreed that humans operate according to these narratives of lack, meanness, violence, scarcity. I don’t want mine to be a bare life. I don’t want to be forced to operate according to kill-or-be-killed, survival of the fittest, power-struggle logic that operates strictly in punitive hierarchies. So many of our post-apocalyptic settings demand this sort of action from characters, scripting violence and domination into their interactions.

I am a firm believer in the fact that fiction influences us in a myriad of ways - some overt, some so subtle we cannot even recognize them until they are pointed out to us. The dominant imagination of the post-apocalypse has been beholden to these non-solarpunk stories for so long that fiction is starting to bleed over into reality. And survival is not enough* - it was never enough to begin with, and it’s really not enough now. Instead of imagining humans surviving, let us imagine all beings thriving. Solarpunk stories, in my opinion, do that very well. Is it unrealistic to thrive in the wake of disaster, or to make the best of a bad situation? Is it naïve to hope that there is more to life than a continuous power struggle, only temporarily driven under the surface of consciousness by the strictures of society, but ready to reassert itself the minute something happens to upend that society? I sure hope not.

I want that negative version of the post-apocalypse to stay in the world of fiction, safely, where it cannot twist the way that we think of others, the way that we think of our selves. Instead, I hope we invest more in real life examples of communities coming together in the aftermath of disaster, like the examples in Rebecca Solnit’s A Paradise Built in Hell. Like I experienced in Japan after 3/11. All humans do not naturally react to the misfortune of others with indifference, with violence, with destructiveness, but many react with compassion, empathy, and solidarity. I would say, based on this, that the non-solarpunk post-apocalyptic setting is the exception, not the rule.

As I was writing, I was thinking of an anecdote about anthropologist Margaret Mead, who purportedly claimed during a lecture that the earliest sign of “civilization” was not tools, nor weapons, nor pots, but a healed femur. Ira Byock describes how

“Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

This is a really nice anecdote, a wonderful sentiment, and something that points toward a truth, to me; however, that anecdote is very contested, and cannot be attributed to Mead at all. I was surprised to find this out, but even more intrigued by the critique put forward by anthropologist and physician Gideon Lasko. Lasko, writing for Sapiens in 2012, called out the inherent anthropocentrism of the anecdote, asking if medicine, healing, and helping others can really be thought to only be exclusive to Homo sapiens. He goes on to talk about how, not only are healed bones found in many species across the animal kingdom, but evidence shows that many species like chimpanzees, elephants, and wolves practice some form of self-medication and care for wounded members of their group.

This illustration points out rather succinctly that the non-solarpunk default of “survival” is a human construction, not the inherent truth of being “civilized” - which is a super problematic concept in and of itself - or indeed “human”. The dichotomy that the negative version of the post-apocalypse draws between civilized/uncivilized, human/animal, man/woman, etc is a hierarchy that is too often perpetuated in non-solarpunk science fiction stories, especially in those narratives we would consider classics of the genre. I’m looking at you, “Farnham’s Freehold.”**

It is useful to be able to take what we have been taught to be / passively absorbed from cultural worldview as a fundamental truth of nature (that survival is a struggle that continues up through Maslow’s hierarchy of needs past the first level) and carefully detach it from the other assumptions that make up our worldviews and look at it from all angles, recognizing what is true, and what is a result of invention. These ideas didn’t just come from nowhere.

So I return to my original statement. I don’t want to survive in a post-apocalyptic setting that operates according to the negative, binaristic logic that dictates that all interaction between humans is necessarily violent. I don’t want to struggle for power. I don’t want to be a victim. I can see my role, and it looks grim. I would rather just nope out of the situation entirely. There’s a reason I don’t read/watch most sci-fi post-apocalypse media. Solarpunk gives me an alternative, something that assumes people will act with care for others, with respect for their selves and nature, with good intentions despite the fact that we’re already in hell.*** I don’t think, if the world were solarpunk, I would need to want to survive, because the philosophical groundwork would already have been laid to enable me to thrive.

— *I’m not referencing Star Trek, I’m referencing Station Eleven, which references Star Trek. **Some narratives (especially in feminist, post-colonial, and more contemporary narratives) invoke this hierarchy precisely to critique its irruption in the present day, and point out how false a narrative it is. I am not talking about these cases. ***Apparently the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but if you’re already there, can you just take the road made of good intentions back out of it? I don’t see why not, since metaphors are also malleable.

[goldentemplariumcrow]

Explaining the basic rules of my cross-over between Assassin's Creed and DC:

Everything is the same, just the Templar Order is a secret society who's been controling the world for so long they've become ingrained in every aspect of society that taking them off is like breaking the base of a bunch of things, they've become a necessary evil to keep the world functioning. And they still fight the Brotherhood Of Assassins, but that's it, if the problem isn't an internal one (people smuggling data/artifacts/double-crossing the faction/corruption among their own ranks/etc), or something to do with the Brotherhood, they simply don't intervene at all. It's not their place to fix the world, only to give it some sort of balance. Their front is Abstergo Industries, which is a conglomerate of medical and technological advancement centers of research, development and production of technology.

The Isu (also called Precursors or First Civilization) were aliens who came to Earth escaping their own homeplanet destruction and trying to avoid a war with other alien species, founded a whole society based of extremely advanced tech that mixed with their own natural abilities and kickstarted a bunch of changes on the planet, but were ultimately destroyed by natural disasters, disagreements and their own corruption over the centuries. Later on their existence got muddled with that of the Earthly gods due to their abilities being similar to theirs and so, they were forgotten.

Pieces Of Eden and Sites/Gardens Of Eden are basically sources of problems in most circumstances when they're active (vide the earthquake of 1755 at Lisbon, caused by a disturbance on the Seismic Temple under the Carmo Convent from AC Rogue; and the many monsters created through Pieces Of Eden, like the sphinx, minotaur and cyclops from AC Odyssey). So there's a sort of rush to find and secure those sites and objects before anything really bad can happen. Also, while it's considered safe for humans to use certain artifacts and locations, it's common result that prolongued exposure to those cause different sorts of manias and changes on the brain and body that makes the person obcessed with them, for this reason, it's highly recommended no direct contact with any of those when they're active (gloves and masks are considered a requirement).

Isu Descendants who have enough genes to be considered descendants often have health issues or are driven mad, because the human-Isu body can't supply both sides with what's required for a proper living. Those who have enough genes and have them active tend to have the line between their humanity and Isu sides quite blury, because one is always trying to trump the other as Isu were more individualistic and saw all other beings on Earth as inferior to them due to their inate abilities and toying with all around themselves until breaking (killing in case it was a living being) their "toys", many times even despising their own kin when their abilities and knowledge were considered inferior; while humans are more community driven and considerate between themselves, helping each other and finding comfort and fulfillment in the presence of their similars (think the Isu like more left-brain driven while humans are more right-brain oriented). Often times, Isu descendants who have active genes also get confused with meta-humans.

The many Lazarus Pits around the world are remnants of the healing baths the Isu created for themselves, and that's the reason there are many and not all are the same. They're all similar in their essence, but different pits have different properties, which can be sort of figured by the color of the waters, though the most common is the green pits, because they were the easiest to be created due to the percentage of chemicals being more easily found in natural formations. Any Isu descendant with active genes can use those without having side effects, since those were created to cater to Isu needs, it serves to sooth and heal the body of a descendant, even if they have mixed genes (although each dip is a little of the human genes that die, since the pit will prioritize the Isu parts). Everyone else follows the DC rule of risking insanity upon coming back if their mind isn't strong enough.

Although Templars have a certain dislike to most hero/super-hero/villain/super-villain/vigilantism/alien activities, they tend to tolerate them so long as it doesn't intefere or get too close to their plans for comfort. They'll always have some of their agents out to observe, listen and report back to their superiors, but the agents are instructed to avoid as much contact as possible and to don't get involved in the business of heroes/villains and their fights, since the Templar Order prefers to remain neutral in any conflict that's not their own (unless there's something for them to earn from it, or course). (all my muses fail miserably in doing this)

These are the basic rules I have for myself. The rest comes as the threads develop with my partners, because I don't want to touch the DC lore a whole lot and disturb my DC partners, I work around when possible and adapt according to necessity so both myself and my partners can have a fun experience RPing in a cross-over verse.

[sondepoch]

HC: MC breaks a bone!

Demons can’t break bones. Neither can angels. Nope, from head to toe, they’re pretty much indestructible. So imagine everyone’s utter shock when you break a bone, and they’re reminded of just how weak the human body really is.

Word Count: 5.2k

SFW + mild violence + mild description of broken bones 

Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Boi flips out

So it didn’t actually happen while he was around, which is why he has so much trouble understanding what happened

You tripped on the steps outside Majolish? And you fell the wrong way??? And somehow, that was enough for you to break your ankle?!?!?!

Poor baby, he has no idea how he’s going to relay the information to Diavolo

When Mammon and Asmo sheepishly enter his study to tell him what happened, they’re highkey terrified for their lives - but learning that you actually broke a bone has him so shook that he doesn’t even remember to punish them, and he’s instead rushing to your room to see the damage for himself

He sees Belphie napping on your stomach and sort of assumes that everything is okay, and that his brothers were making a big deal out of nothing

Then he gets closer and sees the horribly twisted angle your left foot is in

Suffice it to say, neither Mammon nor Asmo returned to their rooms fully unscathed that night

Overcomes his natural hatred of Solomon to call him and ask for—brace yourself—help, and when the mage offers to cast a spell that will revert your body to its prior state, Lucifer insists on doing it himself, no longer trusting anyone else with your all-too-fragile body

Relocates your room to the first floor of the house after all is said and done

Asks Diavolo to move all your classes such that you don’t need to climb any stairs

Refuses to believe you when you tried to insist that bones breaking is fairly common for humans

Becomes super overprotective

Insists on helping you with everything

“Lucifer, I can walk down the stairs myself, you know.”

“Yes, I’m sure you can” - he says with a straight face, refusing to let go of your hand as he takes you down the two-step elevation outside the House of Lamentation

(Bonus:) One day he catches you and Levi looking at parkour videos and from that moment and onward he refuses to let you out of sight for any longer than is absolutely necessary

(Bonus bonus:) Catches you doing "parkour" in your bedroom, jumping from Beel’s shoulders to the bed, and then it becomes a new house rule that you’re not allowed to climb onto Beel’s shoulders

Mammon

He was with you when it happened, and the second he heard the crack, he screamed

Honestly, the most high-pitched, shrill sound you’d ever heard

You were more scared of the noise coming out of Mammon’s mouth than the awkward way your pinky was dangling

Only when he was done screaming did the pain actually set in, and then you were hissing viciously in an attempt to distract yourself, trying your hardest to blink the tears from your eyes because Mammon already looked like he was about to cry, and the Devildom really didn’t need two blubbering messes in one day

The one saving grace for you both was the fact that Simeon was nearby, and he used his Celestial magic to heal you (you both begged him not to tell Lucifer, of course)

Baby becomes even more possessive over you afterwards

Still can’t get over how easily it happened

“Are ya sure?” Mammon asks whenever you casually tell him you’re about to do something. Doesn’t matter if you say you’re folding paper cranes or planning on jumping off the roof of the House of Lamentation, he’s lost pretty much all faith in your ability to do anything without your human body breaking in the process

Oddly enough, he becomes much more touchy with you

Needs you to “prove to him” that you’re not injured by squeezing his hand

And then he just doesn’t let go

Oh, you’re holding hands? What? Who said that? Wait, can you prove that you’re not injured and squeeze his hand again? It’s for safety purposes. For safety.

Occasionally, though, he really does have you move your pinky just to prove to him that there weren’t any lasting effects

Overprotectiveness increases by 500 points

Starts to hover around your room a lot more, awkwardly trying to help (really, he’s doing his best) but often doing things much worse than if you simply did them yourself

Gets into a fight with his brothers whenever one of them handles you too roughly

“Hey!” He shouts at pretty much anyone who touches you “Ya gonna hurt my human!”

Will drop anything and everything if he ever sees you trip to catch your fall

Legit, he was once holding Lucifer’s cup of coffee and out of the corner of his eye, he saw you jump to flop on the couch. Cue instant panic mode: he turned into his demon form and all - literally throwing the coffee on Lucifer as he ran forward to catch your body before the couch could break any of your bones

Yeah, he got into a lot of trouble that day

Leviathan

Has officially decided that he’s never going outside again

Ever.

It happened while you were both at one of Lord Diavolo’s parties - you were trying to maneuver the crowds in search of him, actually, and another demon tugged you close and tried to force you to dance. You fought back, of course, frowning as you escaped the demon’s hold, but apparently, they pulled you back and your wrist just snapped

God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sound of your scream

The demon was punished severely, Diavolo made sure of that. But Levi didn’t care anymore - he just wanted to get you back home, safe and sound

In the following days, he never leaves your side

You have to switch to online classes, at least for as long as your wrist is healing, and Levi takes it upon himself to make sure that the assimilation process is as smooth as possible

You start taking all your classes together, remaining in the same room even if you don’t have the same subject

Homework is a little harder, since Levi usually finishes before you, but he waits for you to finish while he reads manga

Evenings are spent watching anime in his room and debating random topics (oh, and you both marathon the entirety of TSL a couple more times ;))

He even tries to let you get the video game experience, and he picks an RPG game for you both to play and lets you tell him what to do an how to move around, since your wrist is broken

It’s actually super fun because he knows where all the traps are and which ones you’ll like, so he subtly guides your character through the gameplay process to get the best possible experience, and you actually end up enjoying this more than playing solo

(As a joke, he once offers to let you play with him. As in, you use your nonbroken hand to control the left side of the controller and he controls the right side, but that turns out to be a hot mess and you both quickly abandon the idea)

Even after your wrist heals, the two of you continue to spend boatloads of time together

This boy even stops calling you “normie” at one point

Real subtle about it but he tries to convince you not to go back into society again. Like ever. 

“What if you get hurt again?” He asks when you tell him you’ve made plans with Asmo to go shopping

“Then we get to spend even more time together, all over again!”

Cue leviathan/blushingmess.exe

Satan

Probably the ONLY brother to have actually known that it’s possible for humans to break bones

Why?

He read about it in a book once

Still, that doesn’t stop him from visually flinching when he sees you writhing on the ground after being shoved into a bike rack by a lower-level demon, clutching your arm which is disfigured so awkwardly that the bone is popping out

His demon form manifests immediately, and he’s about to rip this demon to shreds when you desperately call out his name, and then he’s more preoccupied with helping you than he is with beating this demon to death

(Inwardly, though, he’s quite relieved that you stopped him from killing the demon immediately. Now, he’ll get to spend the next four millennia torturing the creature slowly, keeping it just an inch from death until he’s satisfied that the demon has paid for injuring you so severely. :))

Runs over to you immediately and pulls you onto his lap, quickly muttering an enchantment that will temporarily numb the pain

Proceeds to ask you whether you want him to use magic to forcefully heal you or if you want to heal the human way

Will respect your wishes 100% no matter which you choose

Throws himself into reading and studying human medicine as soon as the two of you get back to the House of Lamentation

By the end of the month, he’s an expert on human anatomy (and where human strength lies on a comparative figure to demon strength)

Takes it upon himself to watch out for you, threatening any demons who express behavior that isn’t excessively cautious

Starts walking with you and Mammon to and from school

Keep it lowkey, but the truth is that he doesn’t trust his brother to fully make sure that you’re safe so he takes it upon himself

Doesn’t really panic too much, he knows that you getting injured was more the demon’s fault than it was yours

Is actually very considerate of your feelings in all this

Consciously makes sure that he doesn’t treat you too differently, not wanting to make you feel like he thinks you’re weak. But he no longer trusts other demons around you, and after getting your permission, he casts an enchantment on you which prevents lower-level demons from touching you without your explicit consent

Smiles devilishly every single time one of them tries to shove you in the hallways of RAD and gets sent flying 30 meters backwards in response

Devilish smile intensifies when he finally gets around to kidnapping and torturing the demon who dared to push and injure you in the first place

Asmodeus

He’s worried about you for a good hour

Not to say he’s inconsiderate

No, he’s understandably concerned immediately after he sees you on crutches, and when you come home with a broken foot, he’s immediately hanging out with you and completely (read: barely) restraining himself from making flirtatious comments in case you’re still in pain

The second he realizes that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply pressure on it, a switch flips

Now that he knows that the fracture isn’t going to spread to the rest of your body and destroy you from the inside, he’s overwhelmed with how cute it is that you need his help to do basic stuff

And honestly, you kinda vibe with it

He’s the shortest brother, so you having to ask him for help to get things off the shelf because you can’t stand is a rarity, and he is living for it

He lives with six overlords of hell, so the feeling of someone asking (no matter how reluctant) him for help in simple stuff like climbing up or down the stairs is something he absolutely cherishes

The second he realizes how good it feels to do stuff for you, he’ll never stop

Will 100% put Mammon to shame in how frequently he starts hanging by your side

He thinks of everything even before you do, always making sure that when you guys sit down, you have everything you need to be occupied for hours: from water to nail polish to the latest gossip at RAD, this man will make it his life’s mission to be the perfect prince while you’re injured

Seriously spoils you

Even when you finally heal and get better, he doesn’t stop helping you

Actually has the nerve to start complaining when you try to do stuff on your own

“You’re going to hurt yourself! Let me do it for you!”

“Asmo, I’m microwaving popcorn”

It doesn’t matter if you shower him with 'thank yous’ or if you grunt in annoyance every time he sits down next to you with an item you were about to get up and look for, he knows you appreciate the things he’s doing and that’s all he needs

Effectively gives you the royal treatment, occasionally putting Barbatos to shame with how diligent he is in helping you out

It never stops, even months after you’ve made a full recovery

Then again, who are you to complain? ;)

Beelzebub

Suddenly becomes terrified of his own strength

He’s there as it happens, and the way your face immediately contorts in pain right before you bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming will really never stop haunting him

It doesn’t help that you get injured from something that would usually be considered child-safe in the Devildom - a small windup toy which your fingers had gotten stuck in before two of them snap completely

Man is by your side immediately

The pit in his stomach isn’t caused by hunger but by genuine fear as he watches Lucifer and Satan soothe you with magic

He wants to run over to you and wipe your tears away, but should he? How can that be a good idea? He’s easily 1000000000x stronger than that toy you were messing around with, and what if he accidentally hurts you?

He knew it was possible for him to kill you before, but now he realizes how easy it would be - so simple that he might not even realize it

Instantly steps back and begins avoiding physical contact with you, trying his hardest to be there for you emotionally but struggling because every time you ask him for cuddles, he awkwardly changes the subject and looks away

He only comes clean to you about his concerns after you get mad at him and plant yourself in his lap, wrapping your arms around his head angrily as you demand that he give you affection

“Beel,” You mutter, a light pout forming on your face. “The reason you’re strong isn’t just because you have the muscles, it’s because you have control. You’ve never hurt me before, and nothing you do will hurt me now, so stop being such a stubborn goof and hug me”

Cue very hesitant hug

But it’s a start, and he slowly becomes physically close to you once more

(Subtly tries to let you stay in charge, though. He’ll initiate hugs, but you’re the one to squeeze tightly, and he’ll simply follow your lead)

Decides that rather than being afraid of what his strength can do, he’s going to use it to his advantage - and he resolves to become even stronger so that if there’s ever anything that can cause you pain, he’ll be there by your side protecting you, whether it’s against a demon strong as Diavolo or another windup toy from Majolish

Gets into the habit of running his fingers over your hand after it’s done healing, checking for scars and making sure that you’re still completely healed

Slowly develops into handholding - and who is Beel to complain? If he’s holding your hand, he’s by your side, and if he’s by your side, he can better protect you, so there’s no problem there

Belphegor

Quietly blames himself

It apparently happened while you were alone, and you fell down the stairs in the House of Lamentation. But Belphie is 99.99% sure that you were only going up to see him, and if he had just been awake, this never would have happened

Not to mention, this was the second time he had caused you pain, and it wasn’t even intentional!

Boy can’t look you in the eyes properly after the incident

Starts forcing himself to stay awake and isolates himself in the attic

Only when Beel finally gets serious and asks him what’s wrong does he quietly confess his thoughts, and his twin is quick to relay the information back to you

Honestly, you’re lowkey relieved when you hear the reason 

You were beginning to think that Belphie was avoiding you because he had grown tired of your company, and the thought was sort beginning to break your heart

That doesn’t stop you from yelling at him for being inconsiderate 

“This is why you need to talk about your feelings, Belphie!”

“But— “

“No buts!”

Honestly, he’s kind of relieved to see you yell at him so animatedly despite the cast around your arm, it makes him realize that although you’re physically injured, you’re mentally fine

Is very hesitant about napping on you, especially since he knows that if he falls asleep and accidentally shifts into a position that hurts you, you won’t be strong enough to stop him

You flick his forehead and tell him to not to be stupid, insisting that he sleeps next to you like usual, and he very hesitantly leans on the shoulder of the opposite arm you injured

Becomes way more considerate, even when tired

Shift in your sleep? He’s awake, checking to make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable or in pain

Wake up and try to get a glass of water? No problem, Belphie will get it for you, just stay here and sleep tight

Hogging the blanket? For the first time, Belphie doesn’t even mind, he’ll just carefully snuggle closer to you, double-checking that you’re comfortable before drifting back off to sleep

Even after the cast comes off, he’s still conscious about how tightly he grips you and how much physical exertion you put your body through, always reminding himself that, above all, you’re human and your body can’t handle the things his can

Solomon

Groans

That’s right, thanks to an awkward fall, your toe is broken, and this wizard boy has to audacity to groan at the sight of you on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your foot through your shoe

“As if those brothers don’t hate me enough as is,” He grumbles, lifting you to your feet and whisking you back to Purgatory Hall, where he goes full medic mode and inspects the damage

Tries his hardest to convince you to let him fix it with magic, but just last week, he accidentally turned you into a cat while attempting to place a strength enchantment over you, so you’re understandably hesitant as you refuse him

As expected, when the brothers find out, they put him through hell (pun intended)

For not being able to protect you while it happens (they ignore his complaints that it was technically you who fell and injured yourself) he is now tasked with your recovery

Aka he is your slave

You make him carry your books when you go from class to class, you make him buy you lunch from the cafeteria, you make him give you his lecture notes whenever you don’t feel like paying attention in class

Hell, if he weren’t such a god awful cook, you would probably make him take over your cooking duty, as well

“This is abuse” He huffs one day, sighing in irritation after you ask him to go fetch you a glass of water

“I’m sorry?” You ask, feigning innocence. “What’s that? Did you ask me to go tell Lucifer that you aren’t treating me properly?”

Grumbles under his breath in six different languages, cursing you out in each one of them as you wink at him

You’re almost sad when your toe finally heals, and he’s finally free

Thankfully, the two of you somehow grew used to each other after spending so much time together for so long, and (much to the brothers’ displeasure) you continue hanging out with Solomon long after you’re off crutches

Will tease you about it when it’s all over

He doesn’t forget about how you lorded over him for as long as you were injured, and thus takes it upon himself to make sure that you don’t get hurt again under his watch

(At least, that’s what he tells himself as he holds your hand to march you down the steps outside Majolish, not letting go even after the ‘threat’ is passed)

Simeon

confusedangel.exe

First and foremost, how did this happen??

He’s so concerned and shocked when you show up to RAD one day in crutches because you broke a bone on your leg

Didn’t know that was possible

Actually goes home and spends half an hour on the Devildom equivalent of Google trying to maneuver his phone and search up how common this is and whether it’s normal for humans

Accidentally opens the images tab and sees a bunch of super disturbing and painful-looking injuries, and he nearly drops his phone altogether

Instantly assumes that your injury is as bad as those, despite your constant reassurances that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply too much pressure

Lots of pampering

He’s suddenly available 100% of the time for you, no matter what he’s already doing or the time of day

Insists on helping you wherever he can, like holding your stuff for you at RAD, ferrying you from class to class without forcing you to don that heavy rucksack 

Even takes over the responsibility of walking you to and from school

He doesn’t quite understand that your injury is physical??

Like he can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that you’re mentally unaffected by the injury, because angelic injuries are typically so difficult to induce and severe that they always cause some kind of trauma 

He’s always testing you - double-checking that you remember facts from old lectures, holding up fingers to test your sight, even asking you details about himself every now and then

That’s actually the story of how you accidentally told him that you thought his eyes were prettier than the sky and he still hasn’t forgotten it

Never really forgets about your injury, even after your crutches are long gone

Protectiveness goes up by 5000%

He suddenly becomes acutely aware of the fact that you’re surrounded by demons and, although the brothers usually mean well, he becomes impossible concerned for how you’re faring

He expresses his concerns to you one day really sweetly and you’re so touched because ??? How can someone be this pure???

To ease his concerns, you both start hanging out a lot more - when before you mostly hung out at the RAD library before parting ways, Simeon now invites you over to Purgatory Hall more often and you bring him back to the House of Lamentation so that he can see how safe you are with the brothers

Luke

Just like Simeon, there’s so much confusion going on inside this smol bean’s head

Are you really telling him that you??? the person who has taken it upon themself to be protective over HIM??? are so weak and fragile??? that tripping over a pebble was enough to fracture your jaw???

The roles in your relationship are suddenly reversed

(Or well, Luke tries to reverse them)

He does his best to be there for you instead of vice versa, insisting that you no longer need to save him from the brothers when they make fun of him for being like a chihuahua 

Lowkey, he actually earns their respect for how protective he’s suddenly being over you, but the baby can only go so far because - face it - he’s basically ten years old

Doesn’t let that stop him from shooting dirty looks toward any demon who looks at the bandages on your face twice

Immediately goes home and researches what kind of foods you can comfortably eat, and enlists both Barbatos and Beel’s help in cooking soft dishes for you that you’ll be able to eat, despite your injury

Does his best to help you where he can

Takes over your cooking duty at the House of Lamentation

Takes extra-detailed notes so he can lend them to you after class

Even goes as far as to get high-quality Celestial bandages with natural healing properties and gives them to you, hoping that everything he’s doing will make your recovery a little bit faster

He’s really come to look up to you as an older sibling, so seeing you injured (even if you don’t necessarily show the pain) has him seriously torn up inside, and it takes all his effort to keep a straight face every time he looks at you and sees the bandages on your face

If you’re even a little self-conscious about any scars afterwards, he will spend hours convincing you that you look fine (and in truth, he can’t actually see the scar anymore, so he’s being honest)

Long after you’re recovered, he will remember at the most random times that you’re so fragile despite always looking so strong, and it tears him up inside

Because of this, random, tearful hugs become the norm

Occasionally, one look is all it takes before his eyes are welling with tears and he’s burying his face inside your stomach, holding you tight and promising to “protect you to make sure that you never get hurt again”

Very innocent, very sweet

Never fully forgets ever again just how fragile humans are

Barbatos

Knew it could happen

Was sort of prepared for it to happen

Didn’t actually expect it to fucking happen

This is probably one of the only times where he regrets not using his powers to check and see what the future held - literally, it would have been so easy to have saved you had he known it was coming 

Went to Diavolo asking to switch timelines but the demon lord said no

Highkey becomes incredibly protective of you, just in super subtle ways

You suddenly find yourself invited to Diavolo’s palace much more often, and it’s Barbatos who now entertains you, bringing you there under the guise of asking you to “taste the new recipes” he’s attempting to perfect

Pfft, his recipes are already the definition of perfect - the only reason he’s putting that food in your mouth is because he cast a spell on it, and it’ll make your bones stronger

Dodges all questions when you ask about it, real slick

“Barbatos, isn’t this the same dish you gave Beel when we came here last month?”

“I’m afraid I have no recollection of what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the dessert you gave him after he asked you for the biggest banana spli—”

“Oh my, would you look at the time. Let’s get you home, now, before it gets too late”   

Used to walk in front of you when walking you around the palace, but he now walks behind you so that he can watch you in case you trip

I mean, why wouldn’t he? You managed to break your collarbone while jumping down the stairs in Diavolo’s palace - you clearly can’t be trusted to look after your own health

(lowkey also never leaves you unsupervised around Mammon again, who in hell thinks it’s a good idea to try parkour of all things in the castle of the demon lord??? and encourages it?????)

Finds it incredibly endearing when your injury renders you unable to do basic tasks

Like if you were a helpless human in his mind before, now you’re less independent than an unpottytrained demonchild, and Barbatos is living for it, especially since you’re too stubborn to ask the brothers for help, so you turn to him instead

Absolutely loves when you text him for help

[17:39] MC: barbatos?

[17:40] Barbatos: Yes? Are you in need of something?

[17:40] MC: ...i was walking around the House of Lamentation and i accidentally banged into the wall outside Satan’s room and there was a really big sound and it turns out that i knocked a bunch of his books off the shelf and he comes home in half an hour and please help he’s going to kill me if he sees what happened

[17:40] Barbatos:

[17:41] Barbatos: I’ll be right there.

Diavolo

Oh boy

This man has lived a long, LONG time and never in all those millennia has he been as pissed as he is now, seeing you sheepishly lean on Mammon for support with the nearly all of your leg hanging limp

What he can’t grasp is the fact that this actually happened in school

Like, it would be one thing if a demon had injured you out of spite - he could simply punish them for all eternity and eradicate the root of the problem

But for you to be injured this severely? In spellcasting class, no less?

Instantly fires the teacher who was careless enough to let you walk into a casting circle which almost obliterated you whole - and spends ages commending Satan for having the wit to save you before things got even worse

But that doesn’t stop him from using the full extent of his princely power to ensure your continued safety

Instantly moves you out of the House of Lamentation and into his own palace, ignoring Lucifer’s repeated requests for you to not be moved

“I need to make sure they’re comfortable,” He hisses to his right-hand man, almost to Barbatos’s amusement. “The healing process for humans is long, and I need to make sure that they get better without the distractions your brothers provide”

Makes it painfully clear that if you ever get injured again under an RAD teacher’s watch, nothing will be able to save them from the unforgiving flames of his wrath

Starts spending as much time with you as humanly possible 

He always stops by your room in the afternoon, generally to check on your well being and to inquire on how you’re faring, but those conversations always seem to wrap up late at night, long after you’ve both abandoned the original topic at hand and are lost in discussion over something else

One time, when he was feeling particularly guilty after looking at the painful swelling on your leg, he invited you back to his own room to sleep on his bed because - as the acting king of the Devildom - his bed is literally the most comfortable place in the world and he hardly uses it

You sleep in it once and can never sleep anywhere else again

For more reasons than one

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Reluctantly) offers to let you move back into the House of Lamentation once you’re completely healed, but celebrates like crazy when you tell him that you’d much rather stay with him, and it becomes SUCH an ego stroke every time you remind him how much you adore it in his palace

Lowkey grateful that you got injured because it was the catalyst that allowed you both to grow close

But will absolutely make sure that nothing of the like ever happens again

[cancerjupiter]

astrology notes: moon’s origins edition (pt. 2)

moon in libra

libra moons crave the idealized experience of beauty and peace; you seek to co-operate with others, to please, and to establish one-to-one relationships which are mutually gratifying. you also find satisfaction in using your minds, particularly your power of objectivity. a parent who valued you highly and enjoyed pleasing you; who encouraged your aesthetic and intellectual development, and who was willing and able to appreciate your points of view, may have helped you to become attuned to the positive dimensions of a libra moon. 

if, however, your moon is in difficult aspect, or if its trines or sextiles suggest a parent who was only superficially available to you, you may attempt to gain from a partner what you could never experience from our parents. you may become overly dependent upon others, seeking to win their favor by being indispensable and satisfying their every desire. you 're also inclined to avoid confronting our anger and pain, suppressing emotions because you fear any threat to your relationships which might force you to acknowledge your aloneness. these patterns were probably by a parent figure who placed too much emphasis upon appearance or surface harmony, who could not tolerate discord, or who led you to believe that relationship equals subordinating oneself to another. such a mother or father may have brought many unfulfilled needs into parenting, expecting you to compensate for deficiencies he or she experienced in childhood or marriage. 

although your libra moons suggest that your emotional fulfillment requires mutually significant relationships with others, you can only build satisfying connections by first developing a secure relationship with yourselves, accepting as valid your own feelings and needs, and being willing to assert yourselves, even when it means experiencing temporary discord for the sake of more authentic contact. you need to apply your openmindedness and capacity to identify with many points of view in relation to both yourselves, and others - to listen to and affirm each of your internal needs, willingly entering disharmony and imbalance when necessary to create a more enduring harmony and balance which is so vital to you. you need to honor your libran need for beauty and peace, creating environments and relationships which truly soothe and uplift you. 

moon in scorpio

this moon shows you value your privacy; you are capable of considerable emotional intensity and passion; and you need to probe beneath the surface of experience to truly connect with something. when your feelings are denied or your needs unmet, you may easily resort to detrimental scorpio behavior patterns - obsessions with sexuality or money, expressions of revenge or destruction, or demanding and manipulative behaviors. one of the difficulties of a scorpio moon is related to the fear of losing control or surrendering. because of this fear, you may deny or conceal the softer, vulnerable facets of yourselves, preventing yourselves from experiencing the genuine connection you seek. 

you may have internalized messages from your parents which enabled you to develop resourcefulness, endurance and strength of character, and the power to plumb the depths of experience. your sexuality may have been awakened early through the intensity of friendly or family interactions (this doesn’t mean abuse; but sex was one outlet your intense feelings found to let themselves go), so you were forced to come to terms with your own life and death force. a scorpionic parent, however, may have negatively influenced your ability to receive nurturance and to nourish yourselves. perhaps such a parent was hostile and disciplinary, so you developed considerable mistrust and learned to hide your feelings. they may have been dominating, intrusive or sexually provocative, leading you to fear being possessed or overpowered. coldness or stoicism, as manifested in a 'be tough' attitude, may have prevented your internal child from receiving the tenderness and care you needed. sometimes a scorpio moon suggests the premature death of a parent, or a premature confrontation with realities of death or violence. 

you have the power to re-parent yourselves by recovering, accepting and expressing your feelings and emotional needs, not just your sexual desires. you need to contact your core, to possess yourselves rather than others, and to learn how to channel your passion constructively. one task of your scorpionic moon is that of discovering your inner power and drawing upon your own capacities to meet your needs rather than manipulating others to give you what you are unable or unwilling to give yourselves.

moon in sagittarius

if you have a sagittarian moon, you need to be free to expand your boundaries - to discover and actualize possibilities, to travel, and / or to develop your own understanding of things. you have a generous heart and seek to give from your own bounty; you also seek to rise above your difficulties through humor and friendship.

when your real needs aren’t met, or when you come into contact with feelings or desires which threaten you, you may express your sagittarian nature in a defensive or twisted manner - procrastinating or avoiding immediate issues by focusing upon the future, abstract realms or escapism (daydreaming); becoming preoccupied with ideals or goals rather than current tasks; intellectualizing or philosophizing incessantly; joking inappropriately; or moving restlessly from activity to activity or person to person on an endless quest both to escape from responsibility and to fulfill your inner emptiness.

most probably, your mother or significant parent figure provided you with a constructive philosophical framework by which to view life, and imbued you with a love of both internal and external exploration. but such a parent may have been fearful of emotional closeness and taken refuge in themselves rather than responding to your actual needs or feelings or to the difficulties or burdens you experienced. they may have indulged you rather than given you real nourishment. they may have preached rather than gently taught, issuing 'shoulds' or religious principles which may don’t keep up with your own nature and development.

those with moon in sag may need to reparent yourselves by creating your own philosophy and morality apart from your parents and by using your philosophy to help you come to terms with rather than suppress your feelings and needs. your tasks may also include learning to give to yourselves and others, developing the internal freedom capable of existing within limitations and commitments, and discovering and maintaining contact with the god you believe in (if you do), the universe within or whichever internal guiding spirit which leads and inspires you.

moon in capricorn

those of you with a capricorn moon (me!) need the security of organization and structure, and the satisfaction of maintaining commitments and achieving your aims. you take pride in your work and want recognition for your accomplishments. capricorn is the position of the moon's detriment (i know. i know.) and is therefore a particularly difficult position for experiencing emotional nourishment and developing self-nurturing behaviors. when feelings and needs emerge, you may not even allow them fully to enter your consciousness. you may be too afraid of your vulnerability or weakness, and too judgemental of your inner child. repression of the deeper facets of yourselves may lead you to wallow in depression, negativity or self-criticism, to work incessantly, or to isolate yourselves from fulfilling connections with other people. you may continually give ourselves 'be tough' messages which support your self-sufficiency but prevent the real connection with your feelings which makes close relationships possible. 

it is most likely that a parental figure helped you to learn to control your emotions, take responsibility for yourselves and make adult rather than childish decisions; and also provided the consistency and safety you needed to feel secure. however, having a capricorn moon suggests that you could never give free rein to your feelings, and that you probably did not receive much tender nurturance (i did, but it was from another parent; mixed messages can make your feelings even more blurry). your parent may have been cold and rejecting; they may have neglected you or told that your feelings and needs had little value. perhaps they were also a perfectionist you could not satisfy, and whose acceptance was conditional upon notable achievement and success. as a result, you may feel a sense of worth only for what you accomplish, but not for who you are. 

moons in capricorn, you need to create their own standards for yourselves apart from your parents' standards, and to give up compensatory striving which does not meet our genuine needs. your task involves developing an internal source of security and giving yourselves the validation and recognition you may have originally sought from others. you may only experience the fulfillment you seek when, by accepting your feelings and needs and allowing yourselves to be vulnerable, you discover strength and self-sufficiency which embraces rather than denies the sensitivity of your inner child.    

moon in aquarius

your aquarian moon shows that you need to experience and express your individuality, to be free to interact with a wide range of people, and to use your intuitive, inventive and abstract mental capacities, and to contribute meaningfully to society. the energies of aquarius do not mesh easily with the cancerian moon principle. you may have difficulty acknowledging and validating your desires and feelings, and fear closeness and intimacy. when threatened by emerging emotions or needs, you may rationalize or intellectualize, may rebel or loudly proclaim your self-sufficiency, or may become overly preoccupied with meaningless shit. sometimes, moon in aquarius may lead you to make sudden abrupt changes in our lives to overcome the internal suffocation of too much closeness or intimacy with another person and / or lifestyle. cultivating a network of friends, and dedicating yourselves to a cause in which you believe, may fulfill you, but may also be a compensation for unmet personal needs. 

it is most likely that a parent encouraged your aquarian qualities. they may have been intellectual, humanitarian and individualistic, and supported these traits in yourselves. you learned to take pride in your uniqueness and originality, and in your social and mental skills. however, such a parent may also have been emotionally detached or cold, and unable to nurture you physically or emotionally, while remaining responsive to large groups of people and social involvements which were less restrictive and emotionally demanding than ties to you. one or both of your parents may have been erratic when relating to you, so you could not develop trust in stable relationships, and learned at an early age to defend against intimacy. 

you who have aquarian moons need to experience and value your own uniqueness, while simultaneously creating for yourselves your own society of intimates, one in which your emotional needs are respected and met rather than suppressed. you need to develop and trust your intuition, and to use your minds to help you understand your feelings and discover how to meet your needs, rather than escape from them. other tasks of your moon involve cultivating the internal freedom which results from full openness to your emotional natures and learning to be your own friend rather than submerging ourselves in social interactions because of your discomfort with yourselves. you can only have yourself.

moon in pisces

having this placement means that you need space in your lives to drift and to dream, relationships based upon empathic bonds, and openness to sources of inspiration inside and outside yourselves. the water energy of the moon is easily expressed, and sometimes overly emphasized, by a pisces moon. when you experience your feelings and needs, you may even indulge them through long bouts of crying, self-pity, or elicitations of sympathy from other people. with or without awareness, you may seek to escape from yourselves through fantasy or idealization, or through such addictions as alcohol or drugs. many of you with pisces moons may vicariously experience your feelings and satisfy your needs by continually focusing upon the feelings and needs of others and devoting ourselves to their welfare. 

a parent who was a piscean influence most probably responded sensitively and compassionately to you and encouraged your inspirational temperament. however, if your Moon is afflicted, such a parent may also have had a detrimental influence upon you. they may have overindulged you, catering to your aches and pains, or too frequently played the victim, giving to you wholeheartedly but also invoking guilt or seeking complete dedication in return. they may have been hypochondriacal, or of an ethereal nature which could not easily come to terms with physical reality. a piscean parent may have been victim to their own addictions, or tangled in dreams or fantasies and not fully emotionally or physically present. 

moon in pisces may need to learn how to respond constructively to your own feelings and needs, to serve yourselves and give to yourselves rather than attempt to lose yourselves in others. often, because you suffer from a spiritual discontent, you may have difficulty accepting and adapting to the realities of an earthly existence; you need to translate your visions into action, to live those dreams which are viable, forging a link between your practical and spiritual or creative natures. you may seek to experience oneness in close relationships, but you are not likely to know wholly that oneness unless you cultivate your attunement to your own creative and / or spiritual source, and open your hearts to the fullness of both the love and the pain within you.    

[probably-haven]

Hey dude?

First of all, I love your headcanons! And If ya don’t mind, would ya be interested in doing more Archon War Era Venti headcanons? I loved reading the ones you’ve written and I would love to read some more! If you want to that it, your choice.

God, I feel so awkward writing this like I’m not trying to be rude and demanding but it feels like I am and I’m not trying to but if it seems like that, just know that it’s not my intention and I’m just going to stop here beforeIembarrassmyselfokbye

thanks so much for the ask bestie! And don't worry about it, it was actually phrased really considerately, and even if it wasn't I'd still be happy because 1) human interaction and 2) archon war era venti ihjrgfvskerudhjfh But seriously you and the ask give off really good vibes, so i get the feeling ur kinda the type of person who deserves to let themselves be rude or demanding every once in awhile- don’t know why i felt the need to make that comment, but i did, so make of it what you will <3

anyway! enough good vibes, lets talk about war!!!!

but seriously, I’m always always happy to talk more about Archon War Era Venti, like- im literally making a playlist for it cuz inspiration. Like sure, I may run out of ideas eventually, but that just means i get to think of more! which is fun af too!

spoilers for Venti’s backstory

first i want to clear something up from my last post. I mentioned the four winds in one or two of my points, but upon doing more research, I've discovered that the four winds weren't a thing until Vanessa's time, which was after Venti's 1000 year sleep so i'd like to adjust the imagery

this small pitiful looking wind sprite, newly having become a god, so small that no other god would possibly even consider it a threat, most having massive forms to display their power. But as opposed to physical strength, Venti is a being of raw elemental power. 

In the first part of the war there would come whispers of great storms, hurricanes, tornados, blades of wind that scourged the land, picking up flames, turning waters, channeling lightning, carrying freezing cold, turning the elements of the gods against them. And these storms happened completely by themselves. And they grew wary. Decarabian never left Mondstadt so could he have gotten strong enough to attack from even within it’s barrier. And then came the rumors, songs carried on the wind of a revolution, and a new name begun to be feared “Barbatos.”

An unknown god, conquerer of Decarabian, known now for attacking those Divine beings who used their power to oppress others, all from within the walls of Mond, for as he had never been seen then surely his power was so great he didn’t even need to show up in person. 

It was said that when you heard his song that was your final chance- to run, to escape before the winds caught you in their current, erasing all that ever was to your memory except the song on the wind. Sure, running would separate you from the civilization that gave you your strength, but for some unknown reason, Barbatos never target the vulnerable mortals left behind, so for a time, you could keep your power. 

There were multiple records from mortals of their (weaker by comparison) gods being caught in the winds, swept up high into the sky where the one sided battle between god and nature raged on, until ultimately they would see it, the unmistakable wave of destructive force that came with the death of a god, far enough away so as to not reach the people below.  And when a god was too strong, the city would be encased in a wind barrier, shielding them from the explosion of divine misery

And when all was said and done, a boy in green would enter the city, singing songs of the battle on his Lyre. He came to be recognized as a herald to Barbatos of sorts, and the people would often times attempt to shower him with offerings, but the people had suffered and did not have much.  “I am just a bard,” he would insist as they asked for his name in reverance. “But if you have apples and wine, then gather them and the people in the center of town. Freedom is something to be celebrated after all, is it not?”

And the people would relish in their newfound freedom, the ‘nameless bard’ celebrating with them as his friend never got to, and he would play one final song before vanishing into the night, retreating to mondstadt “Fly, fly away. Like a bird in the sky. See the world on my behalf. To the heavens may you fly”

Rarely was Venti ever actually in the city of Mondstadt though. He had seen first hand the destruction that the death of a god could cause, and if he were to be ambushed, he would prefer that it happened on the outskirts, where his people would not be harmed by the destruction left in the battle’s wake. 

However, he would be upfront with the people of Mond, explain to them of the archon war, what he was doing to other tyrant gods, and the danger of ambush- and only with their agreement, when he went out to fight, to liberate, he would raise a protective wind barrier until he returned. It pained him to do so- but he had already lost his closest friend, and he knew it would pain him more to return and see his friend’s legacy destroyed. If the people of Mond didn’t agree- then... well shit, i guess he got lucky. But I think that Venti would be close enough with them for them to see the difference between these wind barriers and those of the old god of storms.

actually- im leaving that there, but let me revise that-

Venti- being one of the very first to give out visions. Not caging his people for their protection as Decarabian had done before, but instead arming them with the ability to defend themselves. He would set up the basis of the wind barriers to aid in their protective power, but only Barbatos’s chosen could raise and lower them as they please, and they were a force to be reckoned with. It’s one of the main reason’s Venti became so fond of the “riptide of mortal blood” saying because of the alternate meaning it had when applied to his own people.

But there were times when a god was too strong- could not be separated from their people- and there would be nothing he could do to spare them.  So he would remain on the battlefield, enter as the unknown bard, and make his way to the center, playing his song as he walked- and he would stay until the wind had freed every one of their chained spirits(think stanley), until he was sure that the song would not be lost, however long it took. He was one of the very few gods who actually had any remorse for the mortal lives lost, and he would mourn their lost life, the things that they could have done had he not failed them. And this was all he could do, so insignificant, but he knew it was necessary, for if he did not do this for them, no-one else would because unlike the others, he had seen the potential of mortals first hand and often couldn’t help but think- had his friend survived, perhaps the people of this society’s song could have been saved. It was during one such song where he was discovered by the yaksha Alatus.

More Archon War Era venti headcanons: one two four

[sunny-m00n]

Alright, then sorry if this gets long-

so a good place to start is object classes. The main ones people use are Safe, Euclid, Keter, Thaumiel, and Apollyon! The best way to decide which of these to use if the box method, which is if you put the SCP in a box, will it stay? This doesn’t have much to do with how dangerous it is, there are some safe class that are very dangerous! Safe means it will stay in the box and won’t escape if you leave it alone. Euclid means if you put it in a box there’s a possibility it will stay but also a possibility it will escape, it’s hard to tell. Keter means it will escape the box and it’s difficult to keep contained. Thaumiel means it is the box, it helps keep other SCPs contained. Apollyon means the box is gone the world is on fire and everyone is dead, it’s a world ending event or a creature that can’t be contained.

Next is some basic rules. There are some very powerful beings in containment, but remember it is the foundation’s job to keep these away from the public and study them, any means necessary. They will sacrifice d-class, death row inmates used to do the dirty and dangerous work, to these things is it will keep them complicit. They will block contact to prevent manipulation from it. Yes you can get away with a lot, and more calm SCPs can get away with more, even becoming researchers in some cases, but remember not to go too overboard.

Next is formatting (this is mainly for if you are writing small or large fake articles for them). I’ll be using the article I was last reading as an example so this one has pictures! Now there are a lot of ways to format an article, but the best way, especially for an au like this, is the basic format (feel free to deviate especially if SCP merc has some mind altering abilities)

(credit to the writer of the article, none of the pictures work ahead is mine, since I’m not showing anything I have worked on since all are still drafts- link to original article here)

start with the number and object class, you can add the new threat class thing but I’m not too knowledgeable on that, so I can’t teach it (see bottom of post for more info).

special containment procedures: remember the box method? Here’s where you make the box. Here is where you decide what would most effectively hold the SCP for the longest amount of time. Have fun with it! Reality anchors for reality benders, d-class offerings, random things that calm or make an SCP more content, just have fun with it!

Description: exactly what it sounds like! Describe what the SCp looks like and what it does! Explain what gives it power and what limits it! Describe how it feels about researchers, d-class, other SCPs, animals and natural phenomena, humans and society, anything! This is the big fun part where you get to throw your ideas at the wall as we what sticks!

bonuses:

-you can add some interviews with your SCP character and researchers

-for Medic specifically you could make Archimedes part of his SCP by making Medic -1 of it and Archimedes -2 or make him his own SCP and have him be Thaumiel for Medic!

-for more resources for this, there are some guides of the actual website that can give a nice idea of how to make this, even if you are simply making an au: here’s a link for the page

this is some more basic stuff and I’m sorry if I went a little overboard- but I hope this helps! Feel free to ask questions if you ever need some for this, I’m happy to help!

I made a weird SCP x TF2 Medics Au.... Like maybe two or four years ago...

I might bring it back...

[caffeinatedseri]

The Strength of Selfishness

Each character in BSD has a degree of selfishness or selflessness in themselves, but the way this concept is executed opens discussion on the nuance of “selfishness,” or specifically the flaws in believing selfishness is an inherently bad trait.

Atsushi

Atsushi fits the description of selflessness, but I’d argue that he’s actually more selfish than he thinks he is (keeping in mind that being selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing).

Akutagawa points out how Atsushi will needlessly risk his life in order to protect others, which sounds like a pretty heroic act, but it comes with a cost. Atsushi isn’t invincible, especially at this point in the story when he hasn’t fully mastered his ability, but his insistence on protecting others puts him in constant danger.

At the end of the day, Atsushi would have a greater chance of surviving many of the dangerous situations he puts himself into if he was more selfish by protecting himself before others.

However, Atsushi is also somewhat selfish in his motivations for acting so virtuously. 

Once again, Akutagawa points out how Atsushi only acts this way because of his deeply rooted belief that he has to risk his life for someone else in order to give his life value. You could argue that Atsushi only saves others as an attempt to prove to himself that he’s worthy, an inherently selfish motive. If Atsushi actually died, he would be endangering the people he could save in the future.

Selfishness also includes self-centeredness. Particularly with Akutagawa, Atsushi’s tendency to focus solely on himself becomes especially noticeable. Atsushi constantly doubts himself and his strengths; he also ignores his privileges and the struggles of others, particularly when he can’t completely understand them — hence why he views Akutagawa so harshly but sees Kyouka and Lucy as people who need to be saved. 

Despite all of this, Atsushi still creates a positive impact in other people’s lives. His innately selfish motivation is what drives him to protect others, and he ultimately succeeds in doing that (case in point Kyouka and Lucy again). 

Akutagawa

Akutagawa is pretty similar to Atsushi in how his past led to his inevitably selfish motives, but his manifests in a different way. 

Akutagawa has to be selfish to protect himself, due to a mix of his past prior to joining the mafia and Dazai’s teachings that collectively reinforced the belief that if he’s weak, he can’t survive.

This results in Akutagawa taking other people’s lives, a direct contrast to how Atsushi saves others, in order to prove his worth as a strong individual that deserves to live. However, this sentiment narrowly crosses the line of hypocrisy when Akutagawa does the very same thing that he criticized Atsushi for: looking for value in his life through other people.

Akutagawa also unnecessarily risks his life in order to prove his strength, which is arguably more dangerous and selfish than what Atsushi does. 

When Akutagawa fights Hawthorne, he practically eggs on Hawthorne to kill him, or at the very least fight with the intent to kill. Akutagawa was also injured before entering this fight, so running away would’ve been all the more reasonable than continuing to fight.

Drawing another parallel to Atsushi, Akutagawa has that very same resolve of risking his life unnecessarily to prove his worth. 

It’s undeniable that Akutagawa has killed many people — which is arguably extremely selfish — and loss of life really isn’t something that I want to push as morally correct. However, I would like to push the idea of redemption: finding a way to escape this messy lifestyle. I sincerely doubt that the incessant cycle of killing is any good for Akutagawa, or that it’s the life that he wants to have. 

With Atsushi and Akutagawa, both of their character arcs will develop accordingly to this balance of selfishness and selflessness.

Ranpo

Ranpo is characterized in a slightly selfish way, but this mindset comes with good reason (relating to Ranpo’s past). 

When Atsushi was kidnapped, Ranpo places priority on protecting the agency. If he were to meddle with Atsushi’s problem, which was technically a personal issue, then the agency as an organization would be put at risk. This isn’t necessarily a “wrong” mindset, but it is self-centered.

Of course, this is one of many examples to showcase Ranpo’s arrogance, but his arrogance is actually a form of self-protection. 

“So his father knew, after all. He understood that Ranpo possessed an extraordinary gift. He knew his son had the special ability to observe, remember, and uncover the truth in the blink of an eye. That was why he sealed it away. He didn’t want Ranpo to go astray, to ever hurt others and make the world his enemy.  His father wanted Ranpo to learn virtue and what’s right just like any ordinary person until he had grown up with good judgment and knowledge.” —  LN 3, “The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency”

Before Ranpo met Fukuzawa, he was just a young, lost boy who didn’t recognize his extraordinary talents. His parents taught him to be modest to allow him to develop as a normal person, but he never truly understood who he was in comparison to other people because he was orphaned at a young age.

Thus, Ranpo had to embrace his superiority, in an albeit dramatic way, in order to accept the world and himself. If he believed that people weren’t as intelligent as him, then he wouldn’t have to hate himself for feeling like an outsider to a world he doesn’t understand. 

Similarly to Akutagawa, Ranpo’s selfishness isn’t born out of hatred or negligence for others, it’s simply a survivalist instinct. 

Dazai

Dazai’s case is a little trickier to define, but I feel that he’s changed a decent amount throughout the series. I’ve seen some people argue that Dazai only helps others because of Oda’s dying wish, which would make his motivations for doing so inherently selfish. This rings true for Dazai before becoming a part of the agency, but I’d say he’s changed a lot just from interacting with the other agency members.

Dazai’s shown to be capable of the selflessness that involves risking your life for others, but because he’s Dazai, he’s most likely never going to actually die (he has taken necessary precautions to make sure he doesn’t die like in Dead Apple). In this case, Dazai was willing to risk his life for intel from Fyodor, similar to how he got captured by the PM intentionally for intel on Atsushi.

What he says here is especially important: “Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what’s so wrong about that?” The Dazai that was once isolated from others, that lacked a sense of direction and purpose in life, has grown one step closer to finding that purpose.

It’s no secret that character to character relationships have a big impact on everyone in BSD, but it’s especially relevant for Dazai who’s growth comes from learning about human nature. He and Fyodor both share a level of super intelligence that ostracizes them from the rest of society, which consequently makes them incapable of understanding other people.

Dazai’s statement here just shows how he’s willing to look past people’s mistakes — yes, they may be sinful and/or stupid, but that’s just a part of human nature.

And in this case, he acts in a stupid way by risking his life for someone else. Yes, it may be stupid, but this selflessness is also a part of being human.

I’d also like to add that Dazai was somewhat selfish in leaving the PM so suddenly after Oda’s death. As an executive, he undoubtedly had some responsibilities to handle, and not to mention Chuuya who was dragged into the mafia because of him in the first place. However, leaving the mafia was ultimately better for his development, and you could argue that the PM is doing just fine with Mori remaining as the leader. Thus, Dazai is another example of how selfishness isn’t harmful in nature.

Mori

On the topic of Mori, he’s a character who outright acknowledges his selflessness as a necessity for the mafia’s advancement.

As I mentioned before, selflessness is a stereotypically heroic trait, but it’s flipped around in BSD. You see protagonists with greater selfish convictions than the antagonists, who live their life based on this idea of selflessness. 

Of course, just because Mori is an antagonist, this doesn’t mean that selflessness is an innately “evil” trait. In fact, this selflessness is how he grows his organization and gains respect from his subordinates. Mori’s selflessness is used for the benefit of everyone else in the PM (ignoring the obvious crimes that the mafia commits of course).

Oda

Oda is often seen as the role model example for a “good man,” in the world of BSD — which is true to a certain extent. We certainly know how he was selfless in a multitude of scenarios, from saving the orphans at the Dragon’s Head Conflict, to his resolve to not kill anyone, and his push for Dazai to leave the mafia. 

However, I’d like to discuss Oda’s selfishness. Oda was well-aware of Dazai’s issues during Dark Era, and he seemed like the only person who would understand Dazai at that level. Despite this, he still chose to die. 

“(Dazai) is just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world we can see.”

— LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Oda is an idealist first and foremost; when reality fails to match his ideals, it becomes unbearable for him to continue living on. 

Oda was selfish in his conviction to die, because he knew he could’ve done more for Dazai, but he chose to leave him with a dying wish rather than staying with him to potentially fill that void of loneliness.

(I’d like to mention that Oda wasn’t wrong for his choice, because Dazai ended up on the right path in the end. It was simply an act of selfishness that ended for the better).

Kunikida

Kunikida is an idealist, much like Oda, but he also draws close to being a realist at certain moments.

Kunikida shares the same selfless resolve as Atsushi: to save everyone. His ideals seem unbreakable to the point where he would risk his life and succeed in the end no matter what, purely because he’s just that committed towards his goals.

This treads closely to Atsushi’s selfishness. In this case, for Kunikida, it’s somewhat a part of his self-fulfilling prophecy to make his ideals come true, but he acts selflessly because of these ideals that he believes in. 

An important thing to note here is Fyodor’s grin, because Fyodor — as an idealist — is well aware of the fact that the greater the ideals, the loftier these ideals become in reality. 

“By that very logic, then Miss Sasaki was not responsible for any of these recent events! She didn’t even want a world in which all criminals are rightly judged! She only— Tell me, Dazai! Was it right for her to die? Is this the ideal world I’ve sought for…”

— LN 1, “Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam”

At the end of the Azure Messenger Arc, Kunikida realizes the flaws in his ideals when he fails to uphold them. By trying to save both Rokuzou and Sasaki, he ended up losing the both of them. No matter how hard he tried to save them, there was no possible way for him to achieve the level of “justice” that he desired.

This teaches an incredibly valuable lesson to Kunikida that shifts his mindset towards a more selfish direction.

Kunikida’s experience leads him to teach Atsushi, another person strongly motivated by ideals, to not follow the same path as him. You could interpret this as a sign of Kunikida’s declining resolve, but I prefer to view it as another form of self-preservation.

Kunikida very well understands the pain that comes from not meeting his ideals, which could easily affect to Atsushi considering how difficult it would be to save Kyouka.

The scene in which Kunikida goes to save Atsushi parallels what Kunikida told him previously: “Your boat can only carry one person. If you let someone beyond salvation come aboard, you will only drown together.”

Notice how Kunikida is in a boat with plenty of space, but out of fear that his ideals won’t be upheld, he’ll lower them to an lesser standard. Instead of trying to save two people, he settles for one, despite the fact that he has the capacity for two. 

This instance is a moment of selfishness from Kunikida, an act of self-preservation to prevent the inevitable pain that comes with unmet ideals. 

However, Atsushi subverts his expectations by pushing himself to save Kyouka regardless of his sinking boat, because Atsushi’s own ideals motivate him to do so. Kunikida teaches Atsushi to be careful with the balance of selfishness and selflessness; Atsushi teaches Kunikida the beauty in being selfless.

[furiousgoldfish]

I haven't been writing a lot lately because my recovery has been taking a wild turn and in lack of anyone to talk to or therapy, I'll be writing about it here! I'll put it under a cut. There are some descriptions of recovery going very wrong, and also explanations of things I was wrong about.

So since the pandemic started I've been deteriorating badly, first I've been processing trauma extensively, having intense breakdowns and gradually it turned into depression from lack of stimulation, I've been completely alone for months without speaking to, or seeing anyone. I thought it was the isolation getting to me, and decided I just need to endure that, indulge in whatever coping I could and wait for it to end. And then things got worse.

Even as normally I was seeing some very slow progress in recovery; now it was going backwards; I was having less and less ability to get anything done, I wasn't able to force myself to do my job for months, I kept getting stuck in bed for weeks, chronic pain got so bad I couldn't move on most days. And, it only kept going worse.

My breakdowns stared to be about the present instead of the past; I couldn't handle being in pain all the time. As in before I would recover from a breakdown within a day or two, now it took 4 days to a week, and the trauma episodes would last for hours, so intense I'd find myself hoping I would die during it.

And then, I started losing all mobility and this seriously freaked me out. Everything above I've already experienced before, without long term consequences, but now my body was losing function in a way that felt permanent; I could no longer move for more than few minutes, and without extensive pain. Sometimes I would try to get up and end up collapsing and screaming from how much it hurt, I would move my arm and my whole body would experience a shock of intense pain. I was scared, I no longer knew what was going on, I was suspecting something more than ptsd was wrong. I've forced myself into physical activity, trying to fight this, I tried stretching, exercising, running, punching, and every single one of these activities made it incredibly worse. I thought I had broken my body by laying down too much. I no longer felt anything but terror and dread, and kept spiralling into scenarios of my own death; it felt inevitable, I wasn't going to survive without ability to move, nobody would take care of me.

I tried out medicine that helps relaxing, it had minimal effect. Then, in desperation to check if this was all ptsd, I attempted self harm, to see if it erases the pain. It did. It lowered the pain significantly It was a big relief, even though I wasn't happy with resorting to that, at least I could move around for a while, and I was grateful for that. Times couldn't be more desperate, and the measure felt fitting. I was still in a very bad shape, and the pain was only somewhat lessened.

It was about that time someone sent me the Complex PTSD book; I had wanted it for a while and immediately went to read it. I felt some relief reading it, and I was struck with the realization that I have not felt any relief in more than a year. It also surprised me with some of the exact descriptions of my behaviour, that I didn't realize was a symptom. I thought it was necessary and smart of me to live in hiding, to avoid interaction and never connect to anyone; it kept me safe. It turns out it's a regular freeze response to trauma; I got very called out for it. It also explains that a freeze response is what people use when anything else doesn't work, and it's true! I had been fighting, fawning and perfecting myself desperately prior to realizing that absolutely nothing helps, and froze to survive. It also described that freeze types are capable of surviving prolonged isolation because their brains produce hormones that relax the body as if they're going thru a moment before death; also true for me, I've been aware my brain does that, only I get that way too often, and it only helps me marginally because I'm too used to it.

Another thing I was very wrong about was my concept of my inner critic; I thought I had already won that battle, because I did not allow any voice in my head to criticize me (my alters can drag me affectionately), and I generally didn't experience a lot of shame or guilt for what I was going thru. The book describes inner catastrophizer, which is an extention of the critic, and it causes you to spral into extremely negative scenarios of your own demise. Now that.. was happening to me every single day, I saw myself dead around every corner. But I always thought my fears about that were perfectly reasonable. I had been tortured into suicidal state as a kid and nobody cared, I barely escaped with my life from there, I was living illegally, in hiding, without a normal job or regular income, without close friends or any family, with ptsd i couldn't get diagnosed for, without ability to work due to ptsd, in a capitalistic society where being able to work is only thing between you and dying. I had, by that point, gained many skills of survival, but it still felt very reasonable to fear that I would die if I don't get better soon.

The book described people who had families, jobs, social circles, friends and community, who spiraled into deep fear of becoming homeless and dying on the street; somehow their spiraling was exactly the same as mine, and it made me realize that it was, in fact, a symptom, and not reflection of reality. Because I was spiraling even when laying in my bed or eating or sleeping, knowing I could still afford rent for months because I arranged my life to allow myself to lay down a lot. I kept fearing my parents were coming to end my life, even when I arranged my entire existence specifically to prevent this from happening. And even if I was sick and without a real job, I had in fact, survived for 5 years after running away, I wasn't getting worse at it. My spiraling into death scenarios was a symptom of being trapped within a flashback.

The book guided me to try to challenge these fears, I immediately went for it, had a breakdown, screamed "I can't" for like an hour, had additional few breakdowns afterwards, and miraculously, recovered from them in only few hours. And then, I woke up from my flashback.

I won't describe what the flashback was, because it's too gruesome and horiffic, but it was in fact, bad enough to warrant every single bit of that pain I was experiencing, and a very convoluted, complex trauma. I was waiting to be killed in that flashback. Whats concerning is, I've been trapped in that same flashbacks for more than a year. After I broke my way out of it, it felt like I woke up to being alive for the first time in years. I got out being frozen in bed.

For 5 amazing days, I was able to do whatever I wanted. Chronic pain? I didn't know her. It was absoluely exhilirating to get to move again, I was not getting tired either, I was out there making up for months of doing nothing and I was not collapsing at any point. I felt actual joy again, and hope, and being free from pain was so extremely good, that alone made me ecstatic. I was able to create, to be organized, to take care of myself, to follow a checklist, to focus, I was a Normal Person for those 5 days.

And then, predictably, I was getting back stuck in that flashbacks and my levels of terror and dread spiked again. I went to re-read the book, and it took me a few days to really figure it out again, I don't know exactly how the book works on me, I feel like it says just the right keywords to trigger me into realizations and causes breakdowns that set me free. I found myself able to stop some spiraling, but sometimes I can't, that flashback holds immense power over me and is actually mixed with 10 other near-death scenarios that are too extreme for me to process, so this will keep happening. I did break free again, and got to experience additional few days of movement and happiness; I also started working extensively with my child alter, who was until recently extremely suicidal and dangerous to work with.

I am still kinda lost in all of this, and unsure whats going on, but I do believe I wont get trapped in a flashback again for a whole year. I became so anxious and helpless due to isolation, I forgot how to fight trauma, I forgot I actually had to do it. I used to do it constantly in the beginning, but it had made me suicidal back then to face all this, so I tried to just let it heal naturally, which I believed would eventually happen; but it didn't, I got trapped and suffered without knowing how to get out. I also believed my own spiraling was a reflection of reality and not trauma, and that fueled it a lot.

It explains very eloqently in the book how inner catastrophizing comes from being massively neglected; children who are not looked after start to realize just how unprotected they are, so their own sense of danger becomes hypersensitive and starts to lock on possible dangers everywhere. This is then further aided by media that points out every possible bad thing that could happen to a person, and the child who isn't guided by adult who could actually make a reasonable distinction between real and unlikely danger, will clock it all as absolute possibilities and be on alert. It's also fueled by the line of disasters and dangers that happen to them in the context of their own home, and for me, the strongest factor was my parents constantly convincing me that I would die without them. Even though I proved this wrong, and understand they did it precisely because they knew there was a lot of survival ability in me and that's why they worked so hard to destroy it, the fact that it was brainwashed into me under circumstances of torture still makes it impossible for me to fight it.

Maybe one day I will be able to.

I'm writing this because writing things down helps to make sense of it all, and I need to find my way thru this. I also hope someone else will see themselves in what I'm describing and it will help them find a way forward. Complex ptsd is the only book I found that speaks from the point of view of a person who survived cptsd, healed from it, and had so much experience with other traumatized people they're able to draw parallels and create patterns and statistics out if it, it was that more than anything that convinced me of their words, and gave me hope. The book also warns many times of how essential it is to reduce inner critic and catastrophizer before getting other recovery work done, other therapy might only do further harm before this work is done. It was true for me.

If you wanna read this book, here's a post with the links!

[deviliciousdev]

✨MBTI Types as Movie Characters🎥

The Diplomats🎙✊ (NFs)

-------------------------------------------

ENFJ, The Protagonist

Professor Xavier // The X-Men Franchise

A franchise based on a fictional minority who struggles to fight for their rights and even their lives seems the perfect place to find an ENFJ at its core. Whether it's Patrick Stewart's older more suave performance or James Mcavoy's young passionate and fervent, Professor X, you can really see an ENFJ in their element. While even mundane everyday life can be brighten and motivated by Protagonists, they truly shine within struggle. Professor X's leadership skills are only a small part of his ENFJ aura. His ability to to understand and help each of his students and X-men is an ENFJ super power of their own. One act that comes not from a desire to be liked by others, but a genuine want to better other's lives. The passion and vigor portrayed especially by James Mcavoy's younger Xavier, is another clear indicator of a Protagonist. And I think we can all agree only an ENFJ would be lying at the feet of one of the most powerful villains ever imaginable without their powers OR wheelchair while half their team is out of the fight and STILL not loose hope or belief in their cause or their people. [see X-Men: Apocalypse]

Bonus:

ENFP, The Campaigner

Captain James T. Kirk // The Star Trek Trilogy

While William Shatner's OG Kirk from the original series and that timeline's movie series, is probably more of an ENTJ, Chris Pine's rendition of the iconic Captain James T. Kirk in the new Star Trek Movies is absolutely an ENFP. Based around an alternate timeline, we see a different Kirk, one who grew up without a father and rough and lonely childhood. Not that this is a recipe for creating an ENFP, but it's a very different life than the OG Kirk had, making it clear this is set in an alternate timeline. In the first installment we see a very immature and unhealthy version of an ENFP. Kirk gets into bar fights by making smart remarks at a few Starfleet cadets, sleeps with random women, and unwittingly hits on his future Communications Officer. Through the movie he goes from so many different positions aboard the Enterprise (at one point even being shot out in an escape pod and stranded on a remote ice planet) it would make your head spin. This chaotic plot line shows Kirk's character development into becoming Captain. It's in the second and third installments we see a healthy ENFP in their prime. Kirk continuously puts the welfare of his crew and even a society of tribe like aliens, above his own. His "gut feelings" are usually in support of ideas that seem insane and dangerous to his first officer, Spock, (a definite INTJ) though always for a good or necessary cause and these ideas always work out one way or another. Kirk's deep care for his crew, chaotic actions, hilarious and utterly charming demeanor, and unbridled enthusiasm, makes him a fantastic portrayal of the Campaigner.

Bonus:

INFJ, The Advocate

Remus Lupin // The Harry Potter Film Series

One of the best characters in the world famous fantasy book/movie series, David Thewlis does a fantastic job at capturing the INFJ that is Hogwart's defense against the dark arts teacher/werewolf. While Remus was only a teacher at the school of witchcraft and wizardry for a single year, he was one of the most impactful on the protagonist's character development. The teaching position of defense against the dark arts changes with every movie, usually aiding in the continuing plot line, and Remus is without a doubt the best one at the job. Not only does he become a mentor to Harry, but we also see him give each of his students (not just the famous ones) his full attention. The rare Advocates (only making up 2% of the population) have their own magical ability of sorts, in where they can intuitively read those around them and find what will help/inspire them; sometimes seeing something in that person, the person may not even see in themselves. Remus opts for a style of teaching that is best for each individual and doesn't rely on traditional conformity. In the third movie (his debut) we see the professor use a magical trunk that harbors a bogart, a magical entity that will transform into your worst fear. In his first lesson, he not only teaches his students to confront their worst fear in a safe environment (as he's by their side), but also teaches them to turn it into something ridiculous. While giving the young witches and wizards some truly INFJ wisdom. By barring the realistic nature of fear itself, he explains that even though fear will always remain with you that doesn't mean it can't be beaten or overcome. His vital role in the later movies as the voice of reason and the voice that always values the humanitarian principle (standing up for what's right), while still struggling to battle his own demons (lycanthropy of a corporeal nature) and never making it about himself, is a level of emotional organization Advocates do as second nature. With Lupin's wise diction, tranquil cadence, inner battles, and emotional intuition, he makes the perfect candidate for the INFJ spot on this list.

Bonus:

INFP, The Mediator

Luna Lovegood // The Harry Potter Film Series

Another beloved character from the Wizarding Franchise, one of Harry's closest comrades, played by Irish born actress Evanna Lynch, the soft spoken Ravenclaw is a fantastic embodiment of a Mediator. She maintains a special and pivotal role in Harry's life. While he has Hermione to give him captain obvious analytical slaps in the face and Ron to serve as a reliable and dependable comrade; Luna provides Harry with much needed breaks from the intensity of the on going events, honest answers, and genuine reassurance. While most assume reassurance only comes in the form of compliments and agree-ability, Luna (and INFPs in general), show us sometimes you just need someone to tell you, you're not crazy. Her fierce friendship contains some of the best that INFPs have to offer. No matter if it's as a platonic date to a dinner party or fighting off Death-Eaters in the Ministry of Magic, we see her continuously be there for Harry, without even a second thought. And perhaps the thing that seals the deal for her INFP representation, is the ongoing relationship with the other students who over and over again grossly underestimate her, as her eccentric and unique conceptual ingenuity ends up providing some of the biggest plot developments of the films.

Bonus:

[note: stay tuned for the sensing thinkers list]

[snowflake-of-destruction]

~gives you an excuse to infodump about mermaid aus~

How does it feel to be my current favorite?

FIRST WORLDBUILDING, I SWEAR IT’S NECESSARY TO SET THE SCENE

Okay, in this world, merfolk and aquatic sirens are seen as two separate species. This is mostly perpetuated by the merfolk themselves who are peaceful versus man-eating and don’t have the same mystical vocal powers sirens use to hypnotize or paralyze prey. There are also other differences, such as jaw/tooth structure. Mermaids--many of them at least, may have sharp, interlocking, predator teeth, but sirens have a specific fang structure in the front of their mouth. Protruding fangs for causing wounds that will bleed the most with the least “effort,” the “puncture teeth” for quicker kills. There are also curved fangs for skinning/descaling prey. 

These latter fangs are important for more than hunting. The siren society has a culture of scarification. Each family has a crest, with individuals therein creating their own variant when they come of age. Who you are is branded/bitten/scarred into your skin, and then you mark your mate and children. There can also be specific circumstances for marks, such as a lifelong debt. For the most part though, you only bare 1 to 2 marks (depending on if you keep your family crest and make your new tattoo separate or if you bare both a mate and an individual mark) and these are taken super seriously in both who you are and who belongs to you until the day they die.

READ MORE FOR LENGTH

Sirens dwell in the deeper trenches of the ocean for the most part and have adapted for it, and who are known to not only drown humans and eat them, but to even sometimes sneak up on a merperson swimming alone, drag them to depths where the pressure starts interfering with their ability to fight back with a clear head, overpower them, and turn (basically) cannibal. 

Why do I say basically cannibal? Because the sirens are taught that really they are one common people, just adapted differently as the merfolk denied some of their true nature and excommunicated those that did not want to live oppressed. There are subsets of mers who have all sort of different tails, sizes, and talents and are still called merfolk, so why should those that “have the song” (and the taste for more than fish) be treated differently? They would also say that more merfolk (senselessly) kill sirens than the opposite, and this hate combined with the fact that Sirens hunt the surface less and less as humans grow more creative and vicious, means they are dying out.

Humans (the ones that have seen these sea creatures and believe in them at all)  just know pretty-half fish= probably dangerous and don't distinguish between merfolk and sirens at all. If you’re close enough to study their teeth it’s probably too late.

Adam and Tadashi= sirens

Langa and Shadow=mermen

Miya- Either a merman or just straight up I make him a salt-water catfish to be funny. He is identified as “sidekick” more than an actual species in my mind so far

Cherry, Joe and Reki= human sailors

Oka= a human but not a sailor, someone who runs a store in a port the Matchablossom ship often restocks and Reki's former boss before he left to sail with Joe and Cherry

ARE YOU WITH ME SO FAR? GOOD, BECAUSE HERE COMES PLOT PREMISE[

THE BACKSTORIES

So we have Adam and Tadashi when they were but tiny things playing around, exploring where they were not supposed to go, and they get attacked by some other dangerous sea creature with things only getting worse when they almost get caught in a net when they flee to the shallow. The net gets very badly wrapped around tiny Tadashi’s throat and he suffers vocal cord damage and loses his main power as a siren before he even grows into it--a consequence of curiosity, Tadashi views it, and though he escapes the net, does he ever really?

Adam learns zero lessons, and a bit later in life he dabbles in a Little Mermaid type narrative with Cherry and Joe when they were younger and dumber...until they discover Adam  luring more weak minded sailors to their doom and prove some people just aren't down with murder for fun and food.

PRESENT DAY

 Captain Kaoru and first mate Kojiro (Though Kaoru and Kojiro keep saying Carla, Kaoru's really fancy nautical compass is the first mate, and Kojiro is just hanging around) take on the plunky Reki as a new crew mate. Reki spots Langa or vice versa and the love at first sight strikes hard. They continue to find ways to interact, but mostly moon over each other in typical teen star-crossed fashion. The “true” Little Mermaid narrative vibes begin. Joe and Cherry find out about their little meetups and warn Reki about the “dangers and demons of the deep” but Reki can’t fathom Langa being like the stories they tell. 

Langa’s mother would not be thrilled with him revealing himself to a human, but the real danger for Langa, though he doesn’t know it, is when Adam hears Langa happily singing to himself about a day spent with Reki. He becomes convinced Langa has “the song” and can bend the world to his will, and runs far with the implications, convinced that he’ll somehow unite mer kingdoms, bringing the sirens out of the depths to the more hospitable merfolk territory and plentiful hunting grounds. 

The only thing standing in the way is Reki and all that needs to happen is to get rid of him or have Langa do it through a little bit of trickery in saying that if Reki's love is true when Langa sings he'll grow gills.

Well, not the only thing, because then we have Matchablossom, already feeling like it's their burden to kill Adam.

And maybe I have some other tricks planned, but I feel like this is enough of an explosion of info.

Unless anyone wants to ask more questions...