#like show in the bg while i doodle

[voidspiraling]

Omg so I was obsessing over Till again ya know. As one do.

And I was analyzing (obsessing) over the baby Till comic when I noticed some thingssss. (This is just my interpretations feel free to disagree)

This frame was fun to look at bc it was just Till doodling and looking cute. But the closer you look…..

Till knew that the flowers were actually cameras!!!maybe that’s why even tho Ivan ripped up the flowers in Till’s presence Till didn’t actually hate it as much. Most IvanTill scenes rarely have these flowers in them and I think after Till grows up we stop seeing the flowers altogether.

Baby is so observant 🥹

Another thing I was obsessing over was the final few frames. In this one my eyes first went to Till because he is contrasted in the picture (blue against white bg and his head being in the center of the comp) and then to Mizi bc she is the biggest element in the picture. But after looking closer you see that Mizi and Sua are both blurry. They are also further away from Till.

But here Ivan and Till are both in focus and they’re right next to each other. I think this shows how despite what Till outwardly says on his subconscious level he feels closer to Ivan. They’re equals. This is also easy to overlook because Ivan is cut off in the picture. He’s like a shadow off to the side. This could be bc Ivan always hides what he feels to everyone and to himself. Or maybe bc he always follows Till around like a shadow lol.

Another thing I wanted to add is when Till turns around. Presumably he’s looking at Mizi (could just be the viewer but lets assume it’s Mizi) but his face is flat he only looks surprised to see her. But aside from the fact that his collar is green we don’t see any other indication that he’s happy. His face isn’t flushed nor is his face expressive like it usually is. I think this is bc his love for Mizi wasn’t in a romantic sense but more in a admiration sense, and his love has cooled down.

Not to sound mean or anything but I remember reading that the reason he fell in love with her is bc of her smile. While that is a sweet notion it feels surface level especially when you compare it to Ivan’s love to Till.

Which would you prefer someone falling in love with your smile vs. someone falling in love with your strength and passion?

I also think that it’s telling that in his R2 song he admits that his feelings were “Error: No better options” Till likely knows that he doesn’t love Mizi but he feels like he should love her bc she is so kind and gentle. She gave him such nice and thoughtful gifts. Even complimented his piercings and treats him kindly even though he’s an outcast.

In his mind he should be madly in love with her. She should be his “savior.”

But inevitably his eyes drift to Ivan.

And I think it’s telling that while Till is looking at Ivan the focal point of the panel is the kids of Anakt garden walking among real trees. It shows that his love for Ivan is similar to freedom and that his love for Ivan is real. It’s like someone feeling relief at finally expressing their love after denying themselves for so long. I think Till tried to force himself to fall in love romantically with Mizi bc he felt too vulnerable around Ivan.

He likes Ivan but he thinks Ivan doesn’t like him so that’s why he tries to fall in love with someone else to get over it. He’s probably afraid of Ivan rejecting him so he projects his love onto Mizi instead. Till doesn’t actually know Mizi all that well so in a way even if she rejects him it won’t hurt that much. And he does feel happier around her and wants to talk to her more. But I think this is more of a friendship thing than a romance thing. Till also wanted to be friends with Sua too but Sua was too obsessed with Mizi to give a damn. That’s why Till feels uncomfortable around her and likely why he gave up talking to her first.

But since Till or any human for that matter were never taught how to love all he can do is try to remove his feelings for Ivan and put them on Mizi. However this isn’t rlly healthy nor does it work out.

After all…

His collar turns green when he listens to Ivan singing. Even though he was injured to the point he passed out, even though he’s bleeding profusely, even though he likely has a major headache. Ivan’s song is comforting to him.

That can only because of love right? Hell after his round even though Mizi was right next to him looking at him he was too injured to even pay her any attention. But here he managed to open his eyes bc it was Ivan singing.

They’re love was always mutual Till was just to shy abt it and tried to run away from it.

;-;

[moccasins]

DOODLE DUMP LOL

been drawing a lot of random stuff while watching shows or role playing and i thought that even if they aren’t great you guys would like to see em lol

some of these are old and cringy lmaoooo

credits for unknown characters!!

bg, eclipse, and a few of those character designs are mine!!

fresh!dream by @youracecard

kon (green guy) and bm (mysterious child in the second to last image) belong to @jay-justjay

u.r.s.a. (the silly with the tail) belongs to another friend but i don’t know their tumblr

[taegularities]

RIDDD 🎀🖇🩵

are you truly feeling better? ;-; a migraine is the last thing i'd wish upon anyone among list of terrible headaches, bcs i used to have cluster headaches— so i can only guess what's a whole migraine must be like ; please take care of yourself, and rest well :(

i don't know if it would be insensitive to drop the following long message here rn, but you obv have the liberty to ignore it till you feel better or as you wish. this is your domain, after all. love you.

"RUINED" : RAMBLE.

i had to drop the headcanons that's been eating up my mind bc the other day while i was taking my mock tests, my mind kept drifting off to the couple. lol. so here's a list of headcanons i had as a reader, from all the different bits of the story and the things you told us. hehe. these are mostly 'soft moments' as asked by you in that ask ( i wish i could drop the reference links, but i'm on my phone so it's hard to operate dually. however, i shall say which parts inspired what brainrot : they're from your works )

RUINED : BRAINROTS.

inspo : a!oc is the type of person who knows what she wants, her saying : two years of marriage and i still put up with the way you put the toilet paper the wrong way around. lol. her being very organized too bc she doesn't want work to pile up and focuses on her tasks in office. both of thm loving to sing

if she loves her things organized, i can see— during the beginning of their dating life, tae'd come over on a random weekend, only to find a!oc cleaning up, in her most natural state, and the mundane aspect of it would melt him. why? bcos he's the been there, done that sort of person, but not when it comes to these things. the domesticity, i mean. hehe.

also, the fact that she trusted him enough to show that side of her? :') the only reason she wouldn't stress about her look is bc she's adorably engrossed in her work and NEEDS IT DONE AND HE SAW HER IN OTHER STATES TOO 🫠

HELLO, RID. CAN YOU SEE HIM ENTERING HOME TO HER ONE DAY AND A!OC MOUTHING THE LYRICS OF A LOVE SONG TO TAE WHILE DOING MUNDANE THINGS WHILE THE MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BG?

AFTER THAT THEY COMPOSED THEIR OWN SONG OR SMTH IDK U TELL, RID!

inspo : a!oc being adorable-oc in general. her eyes having the purity even in the lewdest moments, her general love and admiration for him, original ruin you devil tango on the phone drabble 😮‍💨 a!oc loving to draw, tae in general loosing his composure around her lol

this one is loosely based on what my friend did once. so we were in a fb video call and she just randomly made a quick sketch of me on doodle. it was beautiful. 😔

since we are talking soft moments mostly, i can literally see him trying to sexually rizz her up on some video call— imagine him going like 'are you touching yourself?' or smth bc her hands are busy 🤣 but homegirl, who misses him sm and can be an adorable vixen, leads him on— only to send a quicksketch of him so beautifully done ( with artist-oc : a!oc touch 🥹 )....and can you imagine his reaction? always 'interpreting him anew' x 'you are an artist to me, okay?'

SORRY! I DON'T REMEMBER THE LINES VERBATIM!

inspo : basically, tae's protectiveness towards her, a!oc not liking to depend on people, her caring about his demons and wanting to fight his battles and these intially clashing, smex that melts you. tae : i cried, she crode. we s-crewed. ( no, rid. you never wrote that but its just a lil meme ref 😭 ) old tae and his demons.

this one is also from initial years. i think if she were to ever get injured in any way or had a scar—however minor, he'd still spend hours on those spot/s, kissing & hating himself for not being there when it happened. also, i think if she didn't tell him about such a thing/things bc it's not an issue to her, because he had sm going on according to her and didn't wanna pile on— he'd be upset. can see her making jokes about it since it's nothing to her, and him glaring at her with swimming red eyes ( just like the wedding drabble where he threatened her to never leave him ), and making similar threats to his favorite girl ( mid-lovemaking ) ☹️

you often write that before meeting her, tae's biggest flex in bed was composure. so i can literally see him shortcircuting (even during the roughest rounds), hearing her say the most loving things and her unadultered affection. the holds only bared by his urge to take care of her first like you always say.

also, i think when he first introduced her to his world of ruined tango, he was more concerned about her, than a!oc herself. can see him internally worrying, but she is the type to want it harder and more, anyway, to his constant surprise 😂 no, but seriously. suppose it's waxplay, and he knows what he's doing bc he's a pro, but it's still his a!oc 😭 no matter how much lust and control is swarming around them, his need to smear his affection on/inside her is REAL! ever love someone so much that even being balls deep in them isn't enough bc you wanna consume them whole??? and merge with their soul and being??? that's them, and it was novel for him. right?

and you said he kinda likes giving away control more now? why can i see a!oc, simply like a mini-him in some ways, just loving on every nook and crany of his being, when she first took over charge? 🥹 she must have had sm love to give him 🥹 i mean, in the past giving away control would be all about pleasure, but i think when he gave her that role for the first time, he wasn't expecting getting LOVED ON. CAN U HEAR HER WHISPERING PROMISES AND COMPLIMENTS IN THE PUREST WAYS? ( yk how she said, "well, it's true. i want it' about his 🐓 in such a harmless way? 🫠 ) whole lotsa crying, right? ....right?......RIGHT? 😭 bc it's never enough. not until they breathe. the other. in. AAAAA-

inspo : random ig reel, lol. this girl asked her bf, if her soul were to get switched with her bestfriend's, who would he pick. homeboy replied : i will take you to an exorcist 😂

imagine somebody asking her that question, but the other way around and in tae's presence— can see him tensing up bc hello, ry!jk wassup 🤩🚨 but a!oc will also pull up a "will take him to an exorcist" answer and set his demons free 🕊🕊🕊

inspo : papa!tae and mama-a!oc.

sometimes, i assume their first born is a son, then i settle for a daughter. or maybe an older brother to a lil sister. anyway, daughter is a mini a!oc. teenie tinie version of her 🤏🏻🥹 and he looks like such a girl dad at times, too.

to me—the babygirl has a!oc's eyes, his nose, and a pair of both of their lips combined, but also her father's fullness. why her mama's eyes?

BC DOUBLE HER, DOUBLE THE PEACE IN TAE'S LIFE.

imagine her wrapping that tiny chubby soft hand around his wedding ring instead of the pinky/thumb/index 🫠 he'd definitely be like : both of you women are gonna be the end of me :))))))))))))))))))))

little monet family. 🎐

it's so late at night. i resign 😮‍💨 please, recitfy me as you wish. also i forgot a lot of them, so pardon me 🫂 i couldn't articulate properly. had so much to write and tell but 🕸🕸🕸 love you, rid. thank you.

HI LOVE 🥺 i was feeling better last night and most of today haha but now the headache's coming back :')))) just why :'') it's a pretty horrible pain, but welp. and no worries babe, this isn't insensitive at all??? in fact, this is so fkn sweet?? 😭

yes, she def seems like someone who has her act together. as an office assistant, she's used to working neatly and diligently, so she'd be scolding tae for little things for sure hahaha :') ahhh the domesticity would shoot an arrow into his heart. he's never experienced such a love, you know? so to know somebody's here and his home… must affect him for sure :( they're both kind of an anchor to the other, and prove each other time and time again that they're able to show their true side. NAWH THEIR OWN LOVE SONG THO YES PLS.

the purity even in the filhiest moments is so fucking real. i don't remember if i actually mentioned that, but yes??? she's an angel, so there's some innocence in her eyes no matter what. NOT YOU USING MY QUOTES AGAINST ME IN A SKETCH SITUATION 😭 omg the confession.. you are an artist to me :') she would she would she would!!!

oh, he'd lose his shit if he saw an injury on her :( i remember my ex once crying and rushing to the hospital when i fell in the shower, and i had a lil scar on my chin (still do), and i think tae would feel similar? shedding tears and inspecting her wound and just everything :( he loves his baby and wants not a single scratch on her

omg ofc, he'd never be able to keep his chill with her hahaha no touch is ever enough. needs her melted with him <3

"i think when he gave her that role for the first time, he wasn't expecting getting LOVED ON" BABE YESS!!! 😭 maybe that's why he's so comfortable with her, too, even if he gives away control. he knows she knows what she's doing. also omg the exorcism one 😂 they're both witty so 100%.

hahaha honestly, i can't remember what i said about their firstborn or if i said anything at all, but yeah honestly both is possible!!! a boy whom he loves teaching life, or a girl who he adores with all his heart.. would definitely destroy him, along with oc hahaha that's a bit too much for his lil (big) heart :') little monet family 🥺

i hope you slept well!!! thank you so much for typing this all out??? i can't believe somebody's ready to do this for me or is invested enough in one of my stories to come up with such wholesome and long ass headcanons??? i love you fr 😭 i'm always here if you remember the others. thank you <3

[tealares]

ive spent so much time developing how i draw humans and people ,, starting to make an object show has been so much more refreshing than i thought itd be since i Dont really draw objects all that much so i thought id Hate making assets n stuff!!

i get to practice so much. !!

animation ... which i can do with humans too but with objects its more simplified since i only have to draw the limb movements (favourite part of animation) and also i get to learn how to use adobe animated better !!! i love the challenge!!

and and . inorganic shapes? ohh m ygod. They're the worst its so nice to get practice in!!!! i recently finished one of the assets for numby (calculator oc) and the feeling of getting it done is sooo Aweszozsme... it will be easier next time bc that is how!! skils work!! isnt that awesome??1?1?

ALSO BACKGROUNDS... i spent a good millenia figuring out how to make this mockup bg work... i still have to analyse how popular shows like jnj make their bgs so i dont encounter more problems than ik ill already encounter ( i am too ambitious with my ideas but its okay)

Writing has still been avoided for now........ i am Not a writer let alone good at dialogue. But i will employ the advice of friends despite the embarassment of showing my work to people and get good enough at it >v< maybe one day ill even be Actually Good. . .

honestly the best part of this is that im seeing a project get done!!! i get home and i spend a few hours per day making a cute object while watching videos and then i can doodle arms and eyes on it in a million ways amd even put it next to other objects of mine!! it feels so much more tangible than a singular illustration of mine, and thats bc ive been having illustrations/paintings as my main thing and main objective ever since like. 2018 when i really started trying to learn digital art.,,

i love art so much i Need to know every skill ever to do with drawing and modelling and animating and More. AA!! <333 if you stuck around to the end of this rant. Secret jhf (object show )mockup under the cut...

( ^^ Thisis NOT all the cast yet)

[vera-king-hrfl]

Heat of the Night part 3 (thank you @crowwolf for the title, it fits!)

This is still going to be sweet and cute for a while, but y'all know me, I'm a fiend for drama, so there's some foreshadowing in this one. 😈

Also, we're not doing the typical BG everyone is pansexual thing here. Don't get me wrong, I love that and most of my stories are that, but this one is written with more of a 1980s Earth mentality toward homosexuality, so some of the upcoming drama will surround that attitude. It's not in this one, and I will include warnings in the future when it does come up. ❤️

Cal hangs around the house the next day, making breakfast, doing laundry, and cleaning up the place a little. Living with his sister is nice, but they are both rather messy people, so there's always a lot to clean up on their days off. He’s sitting at their little dining table with Lia, eating while she giggles over Baldur’s Mouth, the local tabloid rag, telling him all the juiciest gossip about rich people they'll never meet.

"Oh, now this is interesting." She sips her coffee, eyeing Cal and waiting for him to ask her about it. But her brother knows Lia's game; the little tiefling loves chattering on about anything and everything, and can’t hold back for long, so he just smirks and finishes his toast before resting his chin on his hand and staring at her.

The standoff doesn't last long, as he'd expected, and Lia finally hmphs. "Oh alright, fine. Do you remember Lucretious?"

Cal nods. "Mhm. She used to run the extraplaner circus..."

"Yeah, that's her. Well, apparently she's opening an art gallery not too far from here next week. We should go and support her." She perks up and grins. "Hey! You should show her your stuff. Maybe she'd like to give you a bit of wall there."

Her brother snorts. "Pffft. I'm not good enough for that. We can go, Lucretious is a sweetheart, but keep your trap shut. I'd just embarrass myself."

Lia rolls her eyes. "You are so good enough. Your drawings are beautiful, Cal. But fine." She gets to her feet and grabs her bag, and Cal entertains a brief hope that maybe she'd forgotten about the previous evening. He's not that lucky though, and she continues as she roots for a trolley token. "I'll leave you alone about the gallery, if you promise to call that guy today." She grins at Cal's flinch. "And don't think you can avoid it. I memorized that number last night."

Cal huffs. "Meddling brat. Fine. I said I would call him, and I will. Just don't be a pest about it."

"Alright. I look forward to hearing how it went. Just remember, we have dinner at the tower with Rolan tonight. Then you can tell us both." Her grin widens as Cal groans. He loves his brother, but the older Arch Mage and professor is skeptical about anyone trying to date his siblings, and has a tendency to cause scenes. He'd been fine when Cal declared his preference for men, but the young tiefling hadn’t really dated anyone in a few years, and he expects the third degree about anyone he goes out with. So he just waves his sister off and goes to do the washing up while she leaves for work.

Later, he's sitting at the table with a sketch pad in front of him, doodling and stressing. The pink napkin is on the table too, and his eyes keep drifting to it, breaking his dubious concentration. Finally, he sits back and scrubs at his face with both hands before looking at the thick, charcoal decorated paper. All the anatomy studies he'd been working on that morning were quite a bit darker than he was accustomed to doing. It was a challenge to leave enough white space to really define the lean muscles on the tight, limber torso... but the way the light hits that nearly black skin... he looks at the napkin again. There is no way that man will ever let me see him like this.

Finally, after annoying himself to the point of courage, he picks up his communicator and slowly enters the number on the pink paper. He stares at the thing as if it's about to attack him for a second, then sighs and hits send, standing up to pace as the tone plays in his ear.

"Vendui?" The soft voice is familiar, but Cal doesn’t recognize the greeting.

"Uh... sorry, I'm looking for Ryldinn."

He hears the smile, while causes his own lips to twitch in answer. "You have found him. Is this Cal?"

"Yeah it is... we met last night at the White Swallow." He winces. Obviously Ryldinn knows that, you idiot; he was there. But the rather sexy accent is more noticeable now than in the noisy club, and it's throwing him off. As does the pretty little laugh that follows.

"How could I forget? How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. And you?"

"Bwael, yes, wonderful, now that I hear you. Have you had chance to decide whether to see me? May I think that is why you call?"

Cal has to sit down at that. It’s like a dream, the lovely man seeming so eager to see him again. He holds the device away from his face to clear his throat before answering. "Yeah, it is, um... if you want to. Where would you like to go?"

"There is a café near to my home. Evae Aloun. Do you know it? Right near the Upper City gate. What time would you like to meet? I am not busy today."

"Uh... today? I mean, yeah I know the place. I have dinner with my brother around eighth bell, but anytime before that would be great."

He hears the adorable smiling sound in the soft words again. "Very well. I shall be there at the third. I am happy for this, Cal. Will see you there."

They say their goodbyes and Cal ends the call, staring at the comm for a moment before tossing it next to him on the sofa and sitting back, pushing his hair behind his horns. He glances at the clock. Just after first. He has time to get ready, but he’s not sure if he's prepared to see the beautiful man again. Some part of him still thinks this must be a mistake, or a joke of some kind. Maybe Ryldinn had been dazzled by the flashing lights in the club, or something...

He groans and stands, going into his room to spend an inordinate amount of time agonizing over his appearance. He settles on a short sleeved shirt and some decent jeans, then stands in front of the mirror to fuss with his hair and tug at the shirt to try and hide the little belly that he'd grown in the last few years of single life. Finally he sighs and rakes the dark locks into a ponytail, grabs his keys and money, and leaves the house to catch the trolley.

The time he left at should have brought him to the cute little café a bit early, but a delay in the trolley service makes him several minutes late instead, and he hurries down the sidewalk, hoping that Ryldinn won't be upset. He doesn’t see the man at first, when he reaches the place, and his stomach sinks for a minute as he considers that perhaps Ryldinn had grown tired of waiting and left. Or maybe he'd never meant to come here in the first place. Cal sighs, looking around for a minute.

"Hi."

At the soft sound, Cal spins to see his date standing behind him, smiling. "Oh... hi Ryldinn. Im sorry I'm late, the trolley..."

The drow chuckles and takes Cal's hand to lead him to a table outdoors, near a corner. They sit, and Cal wracks his brain for something to say. "You look nice," is all he can come up with. It's true, too. The pretty little man is wearing loose soft pants that cling precariously to his narrow hips and an expensive looking vee neck t-shirt with some modern art piece printed on it, cropped just enough to skim his waistband. Delectable little peeks of his silky grey skin show when he moves to wave the smiling dwarven waitress over, and it's all Cal can do not to stare at him. Ryldinn is even more gorgeous in the sunlight, his hands, arms and face gleaming, though his big eyes are hidden behind dark sunglasses. He'd left his shimmering hair down too, and he sweeps it back after the lady takes their order, resting his chin on his hands to look at Cal.

"Thank you. You look quite good yourself." Ryldinn isn’t lying about that, and he's thankful for the glasses that let him inspect the handsome tiefling without seeming like a creep. He can sense Cal's apprehension, and doesn’t want to scare the man away. But he looks anyway, appreciating the way his chest and strong arms push at the fabric of Cal’s button down shirt. Astarion was right, the beefy young man is undeniably Ryldinn’s type, and he'd been captivated by him the moment he'd walked into the bar the previous night. Said tiefling is possibly blushing now, though its hard to tell with the reddish shade of his skin. Ryldinn can’t see very well anyway, in the bright afternoon sun, but it's impossible to miss the shy grin and the way his burning eyes flicker over Ryldinn in a similar appraisal, and then dart away nervously. The drow smiles, pleased that Cal seems to like the way he looks.

Their drinks arrive, and Cal adds milk and sugar to his coffee while Ryldinn blows on his own decalf espresso. "Do you take sugar?" The tiefling offers Ryldinn the container, but the dark elf shakes his head.

"No thank you, Cal. You sweet enough for the both of us." He's rewarded with another cute little flush, more obvious this time, and decides to make small talk to put the man at ease. "So," he says, sipping carefully at the hot cup. "What was wrong with the trolley?"

Cal shrugs. "Just the usual mess. I guess some rich politician got murdered early this morning and they're doing an investigation. They rerouted all of the cars to another street."

A thin white eyebrow raises above the rim of the glasses. "How shameful. What is the city coming to?" There’s a dash of irony in his voice that Cal can't quite place, but he puts it down to the accent, or perhaps the rumored violence of his former society made the man more immune to things like that. "Do not worry though, I would have waited longer."

"Uh... heh, alright." Cal is actually enjoying the company now, relaxing a little now that they're here and Ryldinn seems to be openly flirting with him. He thinks maybe there's a possibility that the drow does actually like him. He certainly seems to. "So, um... what do you do? For work, I mean."

Ryldinn leans back in his chair and runs a hand through his hair. "I am a procurator at a specialty book shop in the Upper City. It's not that interesting, really. I just find books for people who want them, but the owner is kind to me, and I get to meet interesting people. What about you?"

"Nothing that posh, I'm afraid." Cal chuckles a little. "I'm a mechanic. I work for a friend of the family fixing whatever needs fixed. Including these rickety trolleys, when the company decides they're on the verge of falling apart. But if you do rare books or whatever, maybe you know my brother, Rolan."

Ryldinn sips his coffee again. "Mm, I've never met him; the boss usually entertains the more important clients. But I do believe I have found some things for him. It must be interesting having an Arch Mage for a brother."

Cal grins. "It’s stressful, actually. He's... well. He's a bit cranky and pompous, and very protective of me and our sister. Do you have family here?"

"Oh my. I hope he's alright with us seeing each other. I wouldn't want a wizard mad at me. But no, I don’t have any family." The last sentence seems to cool Ryldinn’s expression a little, and Cal hurriedly moves on, thinking that may be a sensitive subject for the man.

"Oh, he'll disapprove at first, I'm sure, but he'd disapprove if I was dating a Grand Duke. It's fine. Besides. I'm enjoying this. I haven't been on a date in a few years, and certainly not with someone so..." he blushes and buries his face in his cup, hoping he didn’t go too far.

But Ryldinn just smiles, sets his cup down, and lays his hand on the table, palm up. "So what?"

Cal swallows, looking at the offered hand for a second before gently taking it, curling his rough fingers around the slender dark ones. "I'm going to be honest with you, Ryldinn. When I first saw you I didn't think... well I thought you were just being nice, or teasing me because I'm new. I've only really been "out" for about a year and I've never dated a man before. I don’t really know how all of that works. But I do like you and... I think you're very beautiful. I just couldn't imagine what you saw in me. Astarion did say I was your type, but he was being kind of... I don't know. I'm just really nervous."

Ryldinn nods, squeezing his fingers a bit and seeming to consider. Finally he smiles. "Don’t worry about him. We've known each other for about fifteen years, and though he can be a jerk sometimes, he's the closest thing I'll ever have to a brother. So he's a little... protective as well, I suppose. But, Cal... I'm not... I have not dated anyone in... well I've never actually had a boyfriend or anything like that. But life gets lonely, you know? So, if you are willing to give this a chance and see where it goes... I do find you very attractive as well, I will admit that, but there’s something else about you. I cannot really express. I am more good at reading your language than speaking it. I am getting better at it, but my boss speaks drow, as well as Astarion, so I don't practice as much as I should."

"I understand you perfectly, Ryldinn, it's alright." He looks at the soft hand in his for a minute, digesting Ryldinn’s statement. He thinks Cal is attractive, along with whatever else he's noticed that seems to please him. "Yeah, I'm willing to give it a chance. Not only because you're good-looking. You were just really nice to me. You're the first guy who's really shown any interest. I just... I want to get to know you better."

Ryldinn smiles, and they chat for quite a while, about their work, local events, casual things, until the shadows start to lengthen over the café and it's time for Cal to go get ready to spend the evening with his siblings. Ryldinn stands when he does, and Cal hesitates for a minute before gently taking his arm and leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. The drow dimples, pleased. "I am busy tomorrow, but perhaps I could see you the next evening? The view of the sunset from the bluff outside the city is lovely."

Cal grins. "It’s a date. I'll call you later to work out exactly where and when. Um... this was nice. Thank you."

[mr-aftons-rotting-pussy]

FOR THE ASK GAME!!! 6, 11, 12 <33

YIPPIE!!!!

6. favorite thing to draw?

infinite<33333 NJDSNCJKDNKJ furries<3 specifically dogs but ive been obsessed w n drawn animals almost exclusively my entire life i love me a funny creature :3 im big into speculative biology esp in horror n sci-fi contexts, so like. ANY TYPE of weird animalish creature im hugeeeee fan of drawing i luv thinking abt alien anatomy..... so like: furries<333 aliens<3333 alternate fucked up beasts n the likes<333333 and blood n guts >:3

11. do you listen to anything while drawing?

YESSS it feels weird to draw in silence i need bg noise for 95% of all tasks i do lol. usually i listen to music that itches my brain/inspires me in that moment r watch video essays!

12. describe your process while drawing

hrmmmm, i think my process is pretty simple kjnjkjbk usually when i go to draw ik likeee kind of know what i want to draw? if i dont have a clue ill just start doodling different characters/shapes i like to draw r have thought about recently. but otherwise its just, drawing approximately what i see in my head, n making changes where i see fit n whatnot. im a VERY VERY visual thinker n have eyeballed shit all my life so like i really do just wing it for the most part jdjcdkjbjcbj

i spin 3d characters n environments around in my mind until i get a frame i like/looks interesting and then. draw. i wish i could go into more detail here but in all honesty i try not to think too much when i draw. BJCDBJCVJBDJJ

in terms of like how i actually go about drawing things ummmm !!!!! i do REALLY messy sketches w a bigger brush, just trying to position elements n get proportions down and the rest is sortof a drawn out cleanup process. i erase a lot when i draw n often block out entire shapes getting the silhouette/contours of the subject done first and then erase inside the lines where needed and add details! i value being able to draw fast and efficiently while also telling a story n i def think that shows a lot in my works n how i go about drawing !

[rraakkee]

hey i'm doing PWYW icon commissions for a bit while i try t get peepo to the vet 🥲✌️

icons, bc i dont have much time t do more complex pieces for money (MIGHT accept them on a case by case basis, ask). Minimum is US$15, which would get ya smn like a transparent headshot. obviously the more you pay the more you get (ie. more complex BGs, shading, alts??? feel free tell me what ya want). I'm capping it at US$40

takin' p4ypal n v3nmo. dm me if inch rested and/or reblog t spread da word 😎

here's my ko-fi as well if that's more your thing ! I offer doodles

will/wont draw n TOS under the cut

I can draw pretty much anything (humans/humanoids, animals/furries, object heads, fan art/characters, robots/mechs, etc.). but here's my list of no's:

× Strong Violence/Gore

Heavy injuries I can do, I just can't do blood/gut baths, it's not my strong suit

× Depictions of birds, bugs, or children in distress/pain

Anthro birds/bugs are fine, feral ones no

× Real People Fiction (RPF) 

Real, established relationships are fine. Shit like Slushmello isn't

× Any sole piece with more than four characters

× Pedophilic/Incestual/Non-con relationships in any context

I don't care for your technicalities or whatever stupid arguments you have to justify these things. This is nonnegotiable.

× Overly complex subjects

I love drawing things like weaponry n mechs, however by overly complex I mean things with extensive color palettes and/or very intricate detail. If you're unsure if your design(s) is/are too complex, feel free to show it to me so I can gauge it myself

× Anything offensive or bigoted 

this include N*zis or characters that look like they're inspired by them. I can't believe I have to say this

× Anything political 

I don't consider LGBTQ+ stuff n human rights in general "political" so those are fine

× Fan art of certain fandoms/people as well as fan characters of said fandoms (ask)

This is not a fully comprehensive list, merely a list of exclusions based on topics that are popular or relevant to me. Just because something isn't on it doesn't mean I can't reject your commission. Please respect my boundaries.

× If you want to ask about something not specifically mentioned here or have other inquiries, don't hesitate to ask! ×

===

TERMS N’ STUFF

• If I approve your commission(s), communications will be done via DM or email; I'll give you the necessary information depending on your preferences.

• Payments will ONLY be accepted via P4yPal or V3nmo. Payments will be made via P4yPal invoice or V3nmo link*. You must pay everything upfront before any work can be done.

          □ I do not offer discounts of any kind, nor do I allow clients to haggle. All prices are firm unless otherwise stated.

          □ *I will admit that I am new to Venmo and am referencing an online guide on how to use it. Please excuse any goofs!

• I send WIPs in three to four stages: sketch, linework, color, and, if applicable, shading. You can request up to three changes in sketch or linework phases for free. After that, I will charge a 20% fee per change.

          □ If changes are requested due to my own mistake, that is forgetting/misinterpreting something shown on the references given, the fee will not apply.

• Major alterations will not be permitted after approving linework without a fee that is 20% of the commission's price including extras. Examples of major alterations include but are not limited to: drastic change in character's pose or expression, extras (you will be charged appropriately), and basically anything that will vastly change how the finished product looks.

          □ Slight tweaks such as altering colors, mild changes in position/expression, and minor anatomy/line art fixes will not require a fee unless they are constant in which case the 20% fee will also be applied.

• I will set up a separate document that details my commission queue; you will also see the status of your commission there.

• ETA should be no more than two weeks; of course, it can vary based on how life treats me. I have depression and hypotension, so that also affects how quickly I can work.

          □  I'm iffy about deadlines, but if it's reasonable, I'll do it. Note that commissions with deadlines may be subject to a rush fee depending on how quick you want it and how big my queue is.

• I will update everyone if a situation arises where commissions may be delayed. In extreme cases, you may be liable for a refund.

• If I am unable to complete a commission or you decide not to go with it before I send a sketch, you are entitled to a full refund. For any other circumstance, refunds will be partial, except in the case where the commission is complete, where which you will not be given one. This is non-negotiable.

□ You will not be allowed to use the art you ordered under any circumstance if you decide to go with the refund.

• ONLY THE CLIENT has the right to use the finished piece as they like non-commercially, but they must credit me. 

          □ If you wish to repost the full piece to personal accounts, it must be the watermarked version, and, of course, there must be credit somewhere in the image description. This is to deter potential art theft.

          □ We can discuss commercial usage if desired; note that this will come with a 100%-300% price increase depending on how you want to use it.

□ I do not permit the use of any art I make for the creation of non-fungible tokens (NFTs), regardless of whether or not credit or royalties are given to me.

• I reserve the right to deny a commission for any reason even if it may follow the guidelines. Note that I do not have to explain the exact reasons why I do not wish to do business with you, and any misconduct that arises from this can and will get you blacklisted.

• If I feel as though you have breached the terms in any way and/or have failed to cooperate with me in a professional manner, I reserve the right to blacklist you from further transactions.

By commissioning me, you hereby agree that you have read and comprehended the terms that were just listed. If you find an issue with any part of these terms, do not commission me.

[lazuilis]

Hi I'm sorry you're having a bad day! I think your art is very tender and beautiful and wanted to ask, what do you draw/paint when you're really Not In The Mood To Art? (Or do you just take that as a sign you should take a break?) (And if you do decide to take a break from art for a while, how do you ease back into it?)

No pressure to answer if you don't feel like it, but I'm curious :)

tender🥺🥺🥺thank u so much 😭😭💖 when i'm not really in the mood or i cant focus, going back and forth between a few different pieces sorta helps me sometimes. like 10 mins here, 10 mins there. idk if thats the best strategy but i have a bad attention span so when im not super focused and in the zone, it helps. but tbh usually when i am very much not in the mood, i do just take it as a sign to give myself a break. as for easing back into it, i think a good way is to just turn off ur brain, put on a show or video in the bg and just doodle without even thinking or worrying if it looks good. ill also use random brushes ive never used before and just mess around till i feel ready to actually do something, just to warm up ur hand and stuff. sorry if thats not very helpful, im still figuring out what works for me but thats stuff i tend to do a lot!

[matamisin]

Ya girl's pullin' another all nighter and I cant decide if I wanna draw or watch something 🤔🤔

[dentarthurdent]

i drew the middle two scenes of zaphod in my sketchbook, people on discord liked his hair, and so figured i might as well doodle the rest so i can say i at least did a couple inktober like activities this month.

i’d have cleaned these up better but instead of pen pressure i have a pressure headache. maybe after i draw the other things that i need to get done digitally first i’ll redraw it nicer and in color

[healinghamster]

low spoons things to feel better

for spoonies who live alone very low spoons

watch an asmr video

watch a compilation of cute animal videos

take a nap

hug your pillow or a stuffed toy

listen to white noise/nature sounds

look out of the window (while sitting/lying down) and observe people outside

if not too painful, make a blanket wrap around yourself or use a heavy blanket for grounding low spoons

call someone close and ask them to be your background noise (bonus if they tell you stories but you don't have to answer)

ask someone to come over to help you with things

order food or ask someone to bring you some food

change clothes to the comfiest thing you own a little bit more spoons

doodle something random (if not painful)

fidget with fidget toys (if not painful)

talk to a close person

watch you favourite show (even if you can't focus and it plays in the bg)

low-spoon deserts like cake in a mug or separate-ingridient sandwich

write something like a diary, a letter to future self or anything about how you feel

i dont speak for all spoonies and we all have different needs so this may not apply to everyone. i tried to be inclusive but i only have my experiences so it is ok if you aren't able to do anything from this list. you are wonderful and i love you and i wish you your own version of a good low spoon day

[merry-the-cookie]

3, 7, 10? <3

hello ana dearest <3 sorry i forgot about these fghjGHJDFGJF

3. What ideas come from when you were little

this threw me right down memory lane ghjgfd i went digging thru some old drawings bc the only thing i can rlly think of is my girl Merry, who was originally a Pandora Hearts OC i created when i was like. 14 lol. also!!! username origin right there! merry and the cookie!

shes evolved thru the years, along with my boy Elliot who was. originally a Pandora Hearts character i just fully revamped into my own but dont tell anyone fhjGHFGHJDF

i dont do much with OCs and realized while answering this that i hadnt drawn her since 2020 so i went and doodled her again!! also heres stuff from 2013 for comparison (v much cherrypicked, theres only so much im wiling to show lmfao)

and heres some 2022 <3 i had a lot of fun drawing her actually, my lil gremlin. should dust her off more often

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

dude i admire painters so much. any kind of paint! also sculptors. stuff that has to do with volume, my god. also i guess more industry specific but background artists and like. color artists??? yeah ive long given up on my dream of making beautiful atmospheric full illustrations with dreamy little town bg and pretty sunlights, but i will be drinking in everything yall make like a vampire having lunch idk man. im so jealous.

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

i love drawing. sleeves. very specifically gfhjgfjgf i guess big loose shirts? but like specifically sleeves of any kind but especially big poofy sleeves and jacket sleeves! i love. i love the shape of them!!

thank u <3

artist ask game!

[eyezpike]

For the ask game thing, could I maybe request 4, 7 or 9 please?

Love your art, and hope you're having a fantastic day! :D

4: favorite thing to draw

i love drawing faces and i love drawing environments. my entire sketchbook and every one of my school notes are just full of doodles of faces.

i dont draw environments as much, but it makes me so happy. i love nothing more than thinking about all the small details that surround us daily or that may surround a fictional person. i love drawing gnarly trees and old cottages and thinking about how the winds and weather and plants and little critters have affected them throughout the years. environments hold such a special place in my heart.

7: show us a WIP

already answered 7, but i can show off some stuff i never really finished 8)

I wanted to draw pixs crown, but i was sort of in art block while drawing it so i ended up scrapping it

just didnt really like how this one was turning out

this ones etho i think and i just couldnt figure out how his pose and that frustrated me so much that i just stopped lol. i still really like the bg tho

9: show us a finished piece right alongside the original sketch

just went with the first thumbnail i could find lol. i made this one alongside some more thumbnails for other empires, but i never ended up doing the others :,)

[riisinaakka-draws]

part 2/6

2nd part of my old Black Sails scraps and doodles from 2016–2021. Not in any particular order.

This time the drawings are short comics that were abandoned for a reason or another, mostly because I lost the interest or felt like there was too much to redraw compared to the satisfaction of finishing something else more interesting. There’s also some talk about rigid mindset and how overthinking can lead to stagnation.

Contains early silverflint moments, specks of dust, rackham's glasses are found, jealous-Billy spying, desk-Flint gets caught, "squint-squint", a quiet moment and its bird dilemma etc.

And please do not steal and repost elsewhere. But if you do get inspired, feel free to make your own interpretations!

Long-ish post under the cut!

“What are you thinking about?”

“Specks of dust.”

“Liar.”

The idea was to show how much they and their relationship had changed. This was around 2016 when the season 3 began and I was still re-learning to draw with a tablet. Another art from the same time period (and idea) is this art: The Dynamic Duet. 

And for some reason I was really stuck up thinking that I’d have to first do the sketch, then the clean line art, then planes underneath, then shadows etc. and I have always struggled with that kind of approach! Mainly because I hate doing clean line work, lol. And I was a fool for trying to start with a white canvas! It’s so much harder to find values and plan things, or at least in my opinion..

“Rackham’s glasses are found”

To celebrate their new pirate alliance, they share the four lenses of Rackham’s sunglasses as they were also found at the time (because I wanted it to resurface and they could be made into jewellery you know...). This was right after the episode where Anne fights and hurts her hands (here wearing protecting mittens from Max even though she’s not trusted at the moment). Uh, this doesn’t spark joy interest me much and it’s quite stiff and would recuire a lot of redrawing faces, so - discarded!  

I somewhat like the idea still (them having something to share, although it’s on Jack’s detriment). I tried to find a stylished comical easier doodlier? way to draw them and draw clean lines etc, but it just wasn’t for me. Also here too, the background is blank and too bright. Later I started to think things as scenes and draw everything at the same time instead of adding the bg later or trying to show everything (and everyone) at the same time.

Here’s also Billy in the same story:

He’s spying on them and since it’s so bright he’s wearing his diy “sunglasses” and being envious to the others. *cough* uhhh...Idk? Also people were shipping Ben Gunn (and cheese) with Billy, so that bled into this too... Charles’ spirit is riding the “big white bird” that was mentioned in Teach’ story and in this case it’s a pelican.

As you can see, I also wasn’t using the brushes that I use nowadays. A hard (or soft) round brushes with no change in opacity just aren’t for me. For example, in traditional art, I struggle with markers and copics, but really enjoy charcoals and watercolours. I prefer ragged edges, layering and thus blending things into each other (and leaving the viewer to fill in the gaps) instead of having stark or definite things. I also struggle with vector drawings, although I have decided to finally start learning to use them...somedayyyy.

Also, I wasn’t paying attention to anatomy, like, at all LMAO. I was just so happy to be able to put something on the canvas.

This is one of my first ink drawings, but I cannot find the original anymore. Again, I like the idea, but not how things look art-wise. And I was so adamant, that I have to get everything right in the traditional drawing and not fix anything later on on photoshop because then it would be cheating. And thus, I was never able to move on or finish this properly the way I liked it (idiot).

BUT! It was a good practise to just draw and test things on paper and gain confidense on drawing things in overall (as I was still getting back into art). To get over the fear of blank paper you know, and try to find my style whatever it would start to form into.

Oh, yeah, Desk Flint.

Desk Flint was a thing for a while (still is, lol). Another drawing from that time is this Slingshot Pirate (2016). And Desk Flint keeps repeating in many later works too. The point is mainly “Flint sitting behind his desk and people interrupt him and I don’t have to draw him fully”

Well, anyway... moving on.

Here’s a plan that has been stuck for years. It’s name is “Squint-squint.” Left is the sketch (with another sketch underneath because the expressions were clearer in the old one). On the right is the continued piece with colour scheme but I cropped the eyes panel and faces out (it was so ugly for some reason) but if I ever continue/finish this, it will be redrawn there in the middle.)

Left. “On that moment their eyes were literally open(ed).”

Right. “After squinting on the shore for days, they had actually forgotten how pretty the other idiot’s eyes were.”

I still like it, quite a lot, but my perfectionist ass only sees too much “boring” things to draw and get right, so it hasn’t been a priority for a long time and other works have kept me occupied and more interested in them.

--------------------

“Quiet Moment.” 2018 (a wordless comic happening after the events of Charles Town)

I’m going to explain after these pictures, but see how big the difference is when you start to look at references and plan things together (the space, “camera” movement, background etc). I also started to colour with coarser brushes:

I drew this around early 2018. A lot of improvement! Still quite a lot of negative space (empty white backgrounds), but it fits this work. A few things tell where we are (the ship’s cabin and the balcony). Changing distances and how things are cropped/framed make things more moving and focused (and less to draw, lol). Colours and brush strokes are softer, more layered and so on.

But guess why it’s still a wip!

I couldn’t decide what bird is flying over there.

Yeap! At first it was an albatross (doesn’t go to Bahamas?). Then a seagull (but which seagull? there’s so many subspecies! Is the ship at sea or at the harbour? what birds are there on the open water/ close to the shore?? oh noo...) So, yeah, wayyyy too much over-thinking.

At some point I ended up with white-tailed-tropic-bird which was a plus! because it sounds like the bosun’s whistle, but at that point I was so tangled and frustrated and still had so much to finish with this that I left it be. Also Flint’s face looks different in every frame so I would’ve had to change some parts, lol. And then I forgot it for a couple of years! And then I had learned to draw a bit differently and again saw too much things to do, so it’s quite hard to take on this again, especially when there are so many other interesting wips waiting...

But I still really like the feeling of it! And the colour scheme. So I might just limit the things I’m allowed to fix and then post it as it own someday. I mean, it’s 90% finished, but the last reach just feels like miles.

And that’s what usually happens with my wips. They reach a certain point and it suddenly becomes really hard to finish or get back into.

But every time I learn things and then use the information in another work! :D

Final note for this post (altough this has been said hundreds of times): use references and look how things go and try to see the structure and form beneath things. And think where it is happening and how the light and surroundings affects the characters and/or spaces. And maybe think what you’re trying to convey with the art, what idea? what emotions? what purpose? or like, what are you trying to learn with the piece? and so on...

Thanks for checking this out, I hope you had fun <3

[m-i-r]

NaLu 2020 hints compilation

I've been enjoying FT100YQ for the Natsu and Lucy content, but I honestly miss talking about my OTP, so I decided to make a little compilation post to collect all of the NaLu crumbs (*cough*meals really*cough*) we got throughout this year thus far (+add a little bit of my commentary on each one of them)! ^_^

So let’s start with Mashima's Twitter Doodles:

#1:

Posted on January 25, for no particular reason. This is really among NaLu's best Twitter Doodles. The way they're smiling and holding each other is just so precious ♥

#2:

Posted on March 24, aka White Day in Japan! Natsu's giving Lucy a bunny plush as thanks for her chocolates! This one actually references a FT100YQ chapter cover, but we'll get to that later. #3:

Posted on May 23, aka Kiss Day in Japan! It's actually part of a "tutorial" that eventually takes on a "troll" route lol. Fun Fact: Mashima has plenty of official couples he could've drawn for this day, but for some interesting reason he chose to draw NaLu instead. The doodle also just so happens to bless the fandom with an official kissing artwork of their OTP, while still respecting said OTP's current status and developments in the official story (by being a "joke" post).  

  #4:

Drawn by Mashima and posted by his editor.

Apparently there was some kind of promotion on MagaPoke (the app/site that uploads the FT100YQ chapters) a while back - fans could submit requests for art by Mashima, and 3 winners were chosen. This was 1's requested artwork. ♥ There were a lot of NaLu requests apparently!

Now onto FT100YQ content! Which are unfortunately just Chapter Covers lol. (But it can't be helped, the manga's bi-weekly so it's walking at a snail's pace, and Natsu and Lucy are busy fighting separately for the time being. But the covers are really lovely!)

First, we got the cover of Chapter 49:

This one references Valentine's Day! Happy takes the spotlight with his romantic delusions, but in the background we can see Lucy shyly attempting to give Natsu Valentine's chocolate. And from Mashima's White Day Twitter doodle that he posted later on, we can conclude that her attempt was successful, and her feelings were happily accepted and reciprocated. 😉

Then, we got the cover of chapter 53:

JErza takes the spot-light this time, but in the bg we can see NaLu being dorks together. (This actually kind of canonizes Mashima's series of "Hot Spring Vacation" doodles he did back on his Twitter in 2018!) Natsu just can't help messing with Lucy lol, he truly loves being around her and having her attention. And is that.... Σ(ﾟÅﾟ) “May we stay together forever” I read up there?? Used in a romantic setting??? Σ(ﾟДﾟ)  I think all NaLu fans know what I’m trying to say lol.  

Then we got the cover of chapter 55:

This one references Children's Day in Japan. As you can see, Natsu's playing with Asuka again, and Lucy's looking at him lovingly in the bg. The Asuka omake had some strong NaLu hinting, so it's nice to see Mashima kinda reference it again. Although many may claim that Natsu’s an immature character whose unfit for parenthood, I think he’ll be a great father to his future daughter/children with Lucy. 😉

And lastly, we got the cover of the most recent chapter, chapter 58:

Gray/Gruvia take the spot-light, but in the bg we can see NaLu (and JErza) dancing together. ♥ Although NaLu's the only major pairing where neither side has openly voiced/admitted their feelings yet, Mashima still makes sure to include them in every piece with romantic undertones. The ship got his full support, and FT100YQ hasn’t been shy with romance, so I’m pretty excited to see what he has in store for NaLu. ^_^ ♥

 Now onto HERO’s hints. Or rather, HEROINE’s. HERO’s chapters were actually released weekly in 2019, but the volume containing them all came out in 2020, with an extra chapter called “HEROINE’s”.

HEROINE’s had a moment for all of Mashima’s main ships – Haru x Elie from Rave Master, Natsu x Lucy from Fairy Tail and Shiki x Rebecca from Edens Zero.

And well, the moment NaLu had was pretty damn cute, if I do say so myself:

The fact that they’re pranking people together now (or at least attempting to lol) just goes to show how close they’ve become. Natsu’s rubbed quite a bit of his personality on Lucy. And the way he takes care of her each time she’s in trouble (either drunk or passed out) is so damn precious! The smiling, blushing faces they give each other also make me feel all kinds of ways. ♥

And that concludes what we have for now! As you can see, it’s a fair bit of stuff despite them not interacting in the manga for what feels like ages! So I sure hope the fandom keeps looking at the positive side of things, and patiently wait for whatever NaLu’s gonna deliver us next. 

[memoriashell]

not entirely present in mind ( but sentimentally, feelings are always the same )

Characters /  Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru, ft. WoH in the bg

crossposted on ao3

Notes: day 4 of tokomaru week!! shopping and night out prompts. the warriors of hope get mentioned in the bg as their kids but don't feature heavily in this fic.

tws for abuse / trauma mentions, touko is also slightly out of character because she's drunk ( they are both responsible adults and are safe the entire time! )

Summary:  sometimes it's nice to have a night to themselves.

When you have five kids to look after, it’s rare to for them get a moment to herself. Or a moment with her wife. Much less a night to go out. Well, it’s not like they don’t get to go out with the kids. In fact, she might let them indulge in that perhaps a little too often— or so Touko argues but can’t actually find it in her to say no to. Her point being that they do not get to go out by themselves. That’s usually the case, at least.

Which is why when Touko casually brings up the fact that she finally sealed a deal on her latest manuscript, Komaru uses that as an excuse for them to go out and celebrate. Their anniversary roughly over is a month away anyways, might as well kill two birds with one stone because god knows they will probably be too busy with the kids to actually remember to do much of anything. Not that they really need to, she knows how much they love each other regardless! It’s just fun to have an extra excuse to celebrate.

( And don’t get her wrong: she loves her all five of her kids— most days— she really, really does. And she’s happy she can have the opportunity to raise these kids with her wife, and show both them and her wife what a good, loving family looks like. But it also tires her out to take care of five children, along with her own job, and sometimes they need to take a brief break from it.

...Okay it’s also because Makoto owes her a favor, and she’s very eager to cash in on that favor by getting her brother to help keep an eye on the kids for one evening. It’ll be fine. The kids love him? )

Touko rolls her eyes at her and tells her that she’s being unnecessarily dramatic about all of this when she informs her of their plans, once she works out the details. But Komaru can see the blush that accompanies this and knows that she’s won her over and considers that her personal victory. The only condition she has is to make sure her brother is not the only one watching the kids, which: yeah, fair enough, five kids was hard enough with two of them; so she just asks Makoto to make sure he’s not the only one watching the kids.

She knows Touko hates dressing up nice when they go out— she hardly likes dressing up for her own press releases, and those are like actually important events, so she makes sure it's a pretty casual thing. Most of their outings have always tended to be fairly relaxed, and she thinks both of them prefer it that way. The bare minimum of make-up on her face accompanies one of her nicer outfits; which is still a notable effort on her part, but doesn’t make too big of a deal about it.

( She can deduce that Syo probably had a hand in that choice, and just hopes they hadn’t bothered her about it too much. They’re usually good at recognizing limits, and if nothing else, she doesn’t like assuming the worst of their intentions )

Dinner goes well, once she can get Touko to feel less self-concious about herself. Not that it’s a bad thing that she is, it’s not her fault, and she knows she’s trying her best; it’s just more enjoyable when she doesn’t have to worry as much about how she’s feeling. Alright, the glass(es) of wine that she’d had might have also helped with that, but she seems to be handling it pretty well, so she’s not too worried. Even when it became apparent that some of her anxiety had been amplified by the alcohol, but again she seems to be handling it okay. She’s only slightly tipsy...okay, maybe a little more than slightly, but they’re responsible adults. Or, uh, have to be because Masaru won’t take to them being drunk well, and bringing up that trauma is not something she wants to do. And also because technically they’re supposed to grab groceries on the way home. Not exactly the most romantic end to a date night, but sacrifices must be made.

Now only if Komaru could convince her wife to let go of her long enough for her to go shopping, keeping her voice low as not to disturb her too much. “You could nap off some of the alcohol here in the car while I go shopping?”

“Noooo...” She whines around the bottle of water in her mouth, free hand gripping to her arm like her life depends on it. Komaru can easily pry her off, but she’d rather not do that. “Don’t leave...leave me alone. If I do...you won’t c-come back.”

That melts her heart a little. In like, a sad way; being reminded of her wife’s deep-rooted insecurities is never a nice thing. Komaru taps her wedding ring, which effectively gets her attention after a few minutes. “This is pretty good proof that I’m going to come back, right? But if you don’t feel like sleeping, you can come inside. You think you can handle sitting in the cart?”

“Uh huh. I...can sit fine, d-d-dumbass.” Touko responds in a very unconvincing way, but it does get her to let go at the very least.

“M’kay. Let me get out, so I can help you.”

“Can do...get it myself.” She argues, but also makes no effort to do anything other than sip at her water. For good measure, Komaru grabs a second bottle to slip into her purse; in case she manages to down all of that while they’re inside. She lets her lean against the side of the car while she grabs a cart, and watches her halfway launch herself into a flip to get over the side of the cart. Which was more Syo like behavior, so she figures they might be co-fronting? It wouldn’t be anything she wasn’t used to, but she should probably keep a close eye on them just in case.

“You’re okay?” She asks just to be sure, reaching out to brush the hair out of her face carefully and laughs softly at the way Touko tries to lean into her hand.

“Mhm...I love you.” Her voice is a soft murmur, and yeah it’s not anything she hasn’t heard before, but it still warms her heart to hear. It’s moments like these that make it hard for her to understand why people think so horribly of her. Most people don’t get to see this side of her ( usually, this is more like how she is early in the mornings and late at night, half asleep and vulnerable ) and see how loving she is— scared of loving and being loved. Touko has so much love, she knows the way she loves her and her friends and their kids and knows she is not the person people say she is, that her insecurities make her think she is. Komaru hates knowing all that because she deserves all that love and more, and makes sure she knows it as she presses her lips to the top of her head.

“I love you too! Are you sure you’re up to shopping though? You really don't gotta come with.” If it wasn’t for the fact she knows the kids won’t have breakfast in the morning if she doesn’t go shopping tonight, she’d honestly just call it a night and grab groceries another time.

Though truthfully, shopping with her drunk wife is still less of a hassle than trying to shop with any number of kids. Making sure they stay out of trouble is a chore within itself, and she’s thankful that’s not the case tonight.

“I’m...‘m good. Just go slow..?”

“I can do that.” She beams, even if she thinks that wasn't entirely necessary for her to mention— okay maybe she’s guilty of cart coasting down aisles with her feet off the ground, but that’s just to please the kids. She knows better than to do that with her drunk wife. Probably. She thinks she would realize it is a bad idea to do so ( on account of her getting sick ) before she would actually do so, at least.

Now it’s just a matter of trying to remember where she put their shopping list. It was more convenient to have it typed up on her phone, but it's easier for everyone to add onto if they just leave a notepad specifically for this. Even if on more than one occasion she’s flipped over a shopping list to find several paragraphs of something Touko has no recollection of writing ( that isn’t Syo either ), or realized that Jataro has doodled over half the list without meaning to.

She finally recalls which pocket she’d put it in for safekeeping, and they can get going. Slowly, adding things to the cart...and on top of her wife’s lap. Not that Touko seems to notice, since the next time Komaru checks on her she’s just staring straight up at her, face red. She’s so cute? She seems to realize that she’s got her attention, since she reaches up to tug on her sleeve. “Kotoko and Masaru w-wanted fruit snacks, right...? Don’t forget...”

“Already got it, don’t worry. Made sure to grab the vitamins too.” She reassures, a bit impressed that she manages to be that coherent in recalling that, gently prying her hand from her sleeve; holding it in hers for a moment before carefully dropping her hand back down to rest in her lap. She continues shopping in silence, making sure to double-check the list for anything else she might have missed— or at least make sure she’s not missing anything important.

After a while she has to stop again, when she realizes Touko’s trying to mumble something to her, leaning down to hear her. “Don’t forget the...the fish.”

Komaru’s brows crinkle in confusion. “Fish? Like, the fish snacks, or...?” She doesn’t have anything on the list that matches that description, nor does she remember the kids bringing up any requests along those lines.

“N-Noooo...” She starts to shake her head and then immediately looks like she regrets that choice. “Like, like the ones that go in a tank. Like the kids asked.”

It takes Komaru a minute to figure out what she’s trying to get at, and bites back a snort. “That’s not something we can get at the supermarket. Or that we’re taking care of tonight.”

( To elaborate: the kids recently brought up the prospect of having a pet. With varying degrees of effectiveness. To which they’d said they’d think about, mostly because again, they have their hands full with their kids as it is— but also on the basis that five kids do not agree on any one thing easily, and she can only imagine how much it will take them to agree on one pet. Komaru thinks it’s cute that even while drunk, she manages to be mindful of the kids )

“Oh. Thank fucking god.” She mutters. “I don’t want to be a mother this young.”

This one she has to laugh at, because there’s no way she can stifle herself this time: mostly because, while the implication might seem bad, she knows that’s far from what’s probably happening here ( not consciously, at any rate, she knows she’d had more than her fair share of concerns when the topic of adopting the kids had came up ). “Sweetheart, we are already parents...?”

“Oh...” Touko says, drunken awe in her expression, like this hadn’t occurred to her. “I g-g-guess you’re right...not the same.”

Komaru pats her gently, a smile curling at her lips. She’s curious about what she means by that, but she’ll leave that for another time. “Mhm, sure. Let’s get going, okay?”

There’s nothing inherently romantic about ending a date night by taking care of her drunk wife while doing grocery shopping, but it’s still a nice end to a good night— even if they both end up forgoing doing anything further that night, and just go straight to bed once they get home.