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ladylamrian · 3 months ago

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- Chapter 7: Brother

[ Please read past chapters before this ]

-> Masterlist of this Mini Series <-

Female MainCharacter: Alexis Clarissa Fontaine

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder / (F!MC×Cal Lowell)

Summary: The search for Nik leads Alex and Cal to shocking discoveries.

Word Count: 2.0K words

Rating: Teen (Drama, Angst, Relationships)

Warnings: Language, Death

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @peonierose ; @secretaryunpaid ; @jdstar88 ; @blackcatkita ; @bri1234 ; @thosehallowedhalls ; @lilyoffandoms ; @mikaelsrose ; @mxdanni ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @tessa-liam ; @choicesficwriterscreations ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @rosepetals1 ; @stars-are-within-me ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @artbyalz ; @choiceshorrorfest [Prompts: Nightbound; Cal Lowell; Nik Ryder; werewolf; nighthunters; death] ; @choicesmonthlychallenge [Spooktober]

Comments via Reblog wholeheartly welcome

"Hmmm, I think I remember seeing this place. Are we near your new house in the woods?", Alex asked Cal as they continued their search for the missing nighthunter who ran away from them.

"If, in this dimension, it's still my house, then yes. But I think we should head back, I can't recognize Nik his scent here instead... Oh..."

"What is it, Cal?"

"It's weird. I... I... I smell... Me? But...", before Cal could complete his sentence a figure appeared behind the bushes. A very familiar figure which they haven't met before.

"Cal, that's your doppelganger??!!"

The Cal with Alex and the other one shockingly staring at each other and not believing their own eyes. At first, they silently stare at each other and then try to identify the other being by their scent by sniffing each other before getting wary.

"Who are you, and why do you have my scent?" the other Cal asked, glaring at him; then his eyes met Alex, which increased his anger even more, and he took a few steps backward.

"Uhhh, why don't we ignore each other and go our own ways? Let's..."

"Huntress, how dare you show yourself in my territory?!! Leave, or else I'll shred you in tiny pieces", he hissed at Alex.

"Me?? Why would you do that? And did you just call me a huntress?"

"Don't act dumb, huntress, I warned you to never show yourself to me, but you still did. And this time, you tried to lure me out with a fake copy of mine? What kind of spell is that even?"

"Back off, this is not the way you speak to her. Respect her." Cal protectively stepped in front of Alex to shield her from the other Cal.

"Why should I respect the woman who played with my feelings? Who acted like she cared about my well-being but in real didn't."

"I would never..."

"You're a liar, huntress. You ruined everything. Because of you, my Alpha died, and so did my little brother."

"What???!!!! No. Noooo!!!! No, it can't be. Say that you're lying!! Say it!!!" Cal freaked out, shouted, and began to shake his doppelganger by gripping his shoulders as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"It's the truth. Why would I lie and even think about this? It's sadly true. That day when Elijah and that girl entered Kristof's cabin to get some hunter's sage. Of course, he didn't give it to them. Instead, I offered them mine, but only if they helped me to find Donny. We three ended up in Club Persephone, Elijah refused to go inside and got furious. It took me a lot of time to convince him. It was hard to find Donny, but when we did... It was too late."

"Nooooo... Donny, my bro..."

"Oh Cal...", Alex rested her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"Hey, no need to pity. It's too late anyway, little lady. If you would have cared, you would've tried harder when we were in Persephone. Convincing the old hunter more. Leave before I...", the other Cal moved closer to threaten Alex, but her Cal immediately pulled her behind to protect her.

"Don't you dare to touch her, man!! Where's the respect and your manners?"

"Already dead, along with Donny. I lost my brother, I lost everything. What is she to you anyway? A Wolf Bride?", he dangerously snarled at them and began to shift into his werewolf form. Ready for attack.

"Don't you dare, nasty fur ball!!" a familiar voice shouted angrily at the Cal from this dimension. Immediately, Nik Ryder jumped between and shot a holy light arrow in the attacker's direction to blind him.

"Nik, you're here!!"

"Rook, Wolfman, he's not in a good mood. Let's just get outta here.", the blonde hunter ordered and the three of them began to run. Escaping the angry werewolf, Cal's doppelganger.

"Where are we running?"

"Somewhere safe. Just away from danger. I was near and heard trouble, so I came."

"Just in time, Nik. Thanks."

"Yup, thanks bro."

"You're welcome, Cal.", he coldly thanked Cal only and ignored Alex.

"Nik, you're still mad at me. I'm sorry, but believe me what happened before was... I thought the guy I kissed was you. I'm..."

"Less talkin', more runnin'.", Nik answered back to her girlfriend who disappointed her.

"Nik, Alex, can you two please... Hurry!!! He's following us.", Cal noticed his doppelganger chasing the three of them in it's werewolf form.

Nik desperately ran while turning around several times to fire some holy light arrows in the pursuer's direction. But the werewolf is still close, evading every blow until Nik realizes that he has no arrows left anymore. Empty.

"Damn it... Rook, use your magic."

"No, I'll hurt him. He's somehow still Cal and the Fate said..."

"He'll shred us apart!!", he argued.

Without noticing, the three of them reached a familiar place, the cemetery. The very same place where Nik Ryder once rescued Alex from a bloodwraith the very first time. The angry werewolf was hot on their trail.

"Oh no, what do we do now?", Alex panicked and now hoped that the bloodwraith wouldn't appear again.

"Hey, werewolf!!! Leave these innocent humans alone!!!!", an energetic and light voice echoed around them. A very familar voice.

"Uhh, Alex? Was that you?"

"No Cal, I didn't say anything... I... Woah!!", Alex lost her words after she found out who that voice belonged too. The mysterious figure appeared from the shadows revealing herself as...

"Rook?! Wow, you're... I mean, she's...", Nik's cheeks turned softly pink.

"Yeah, she looks wild. Gorgeous. And that scent. Alex, that's your doppelganger!! The Alex from this dimension.", Cal confirmed.

"Uhhh... Guys, why are the two of you staring my doppelganger like this? I don't even know if I should feel honored or feel jealous."

Yes, the mysterious figure, a slim lady with wavy silvery hair which was fluttering in the wind. And the very same chocolate-brown eyes was indeed Alexis Clarissa Fontaine. The Alex from this dimension. But she looked a little diffrent than the "original". A light shirt. Black, ripped pants. Heeled boots. Wearing everything in leather, including the familar cherry-red leather jacket which she once received from Nik. Her hunting outfit.

"Heyyy, werewolf!!! Let them goo!!!", she yelled at the creature which turned it's attention to her and began to snarl. When everyone thought that he's about to attack her, the werewolf shifted back into his human form.

"So, you're here. Hunteress.", he hissed.

"Cal, let these innocent... Wait, what??!!! There are two of us??!!!" she was shocked at the sight of two Cal Lowells standing in front of her and another Alex.

"Oooohh, finally I get to meet my doppelganger in this dimension. Hello other Alex, I love your fashion sense. Where did bought these heeled..."

"Rook, shut up!"

"Nik, you shut up!!"

"Uhhh, could the two of you please...", Cal tried to calm them down.

"Shapeshifters, aren't you?!!", the hunteress asked at the three and quickly drawed two daggers from her pockets. Ready to attack Alex and Cal. But Nik Ryder protectively stood infront of them.

"Step back, they are no shapeshifters. Or else you have to deal with me first, little chick.", he winked at her, trying to make his Alex jealous. Then aimed his crossbow at her to defend his group.

"Wait, where did you get that crossbow? Who are you??!!" her eyes widened at the sight of Nik's weapon, and she began to glare at the blonde man.

"Nik. Nik Ryder. Also a nighthunter."

"It... It can't be... Impossible."

"Wait hunteress, they're no usual shapeshifters. The girl has your scent and so does my doppelganger has mine.", the werewolf finally spoke.

"Really, Cal?" her eyes met his, and for a single moment, the werewolf's gaze softened for her. He silently admired the beautiful huntress standing in front of her.

"Really, Alex." the werewolf, Cal's doppelganger, confirmed, finally calling the huntress by her name and then smiling a little.

While the two were distracted from each other, Nik lightly signaled his friends, Cal and Alex, to leave before they got more in trouble. Silently walking backward till they managed to sneak away.

"Nik, bro..."

"What is it, Cal?" he asked him while the three of them were wandering around the woods. Alex was a small distance behind, sunken in her own thoughts.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. Because of you... No, because of you and Alex, Donny is still alive in our world. All thanks to you two my little brother is alive."

"It's nothing, Cal.", Nik watched the ground while they were marching down their way without looking up, as if he looked bothered.

"No, Nik, if it wasn't for you and your brilliant plan, we would have never found Donny. Or at least not that quick. You broke the spell to track down Donny, got us inside Persephone without any trouble, and tracked him down just in time before it was too late. Even though you don't like Club Persephone, you still risked it. You're more clever and cunning than Elijah. You have a heart."

"My dad's the best and not me, Cal."

"No Nik, it was you who..."

"My dad would have done the same."

"But Nik, he failed. Haven't you heard what the other Cal just said? Elijah couldn't save Donny, but you..."

"I know, but I don't want to talk about it. Elijah is my hero, that's it! I don't want to hear anything about this now.", he requested while trying to hide his disappointment. For Nik Ryder, Elijah Ryder is not only his father but his hero, his role model. Hearing about his father's failure in Donny's rescue just shocked him a little.

"Whatever, Nik. We may haven't gotten along well at the beginning, but getting to know you better made me realize that you're a good man. A man with a heart of gold. You're a friend. You, Alex, Katherine, and Vera are not only friends... You're like a family to me who accept me the way I am. I don't have to prove anything to you like I always had to among the werewolves. You guys are my own pack. Nik, you're like a brother to me."

"You're actually not bad either, bro. I think. Cal...", Nik hestitated.

"Yeah?"

"Don't get me wrong, but after seeing your doppelganger today. The way he watched at the huntress, it makes me wonder..."

"Wonder what? Is everything alright, Nik?", he smiled and gave him a reassuring pat on his shoulder.

"Do you still have feelings for Alex?" he whispered with worry to make sure Alex wouldn't hear their conversation from behind.

"Woahh, Nik... I..."

"We just considered each other's as brothers, and would you ever hide something from a brother, Cal?" he asked without losing eye contact from his werewolf companion. Cal took a deep breath before answering.

"Nik, the truth is... Alex is perfect. She's perfection.", he confessed which made Nik's face falter.

"So you do have feelings for her?"

"Listen, I was in love with her for a long time. Since I met her, Nik. I still like her and if something would happen to her, I... Well, it doesn't matter now. She chose to be with you, Nik, and I'm happy for both of you. Really. You're a nice guy, even though at first I couldn't understand what she saw in you. But I understand now... You have a big heart, but you don't like to reveal it. Guess maybe that's what she saw in you, Nik. She really loves you. You didn't see her sadness, worry, and love when you were in New York. She suffered alone."

For a minute there was total silence between them. Total silence. After a few thoughts in his mind, Nik finally spoke.

"Thanks for telling me this, Cal. I mean... bro. But seeing Alex kissing and making out with someone else, I... It hurts. It damn hurts.", he softly sniffed.

"I'm here for you, Nik. I'm right here, brother.", Cal wrapped his strong arm around the young hunter to comfort him.

"We're almost there. I can smell Vera's perfume. Katherine and Vera must be somewhere here and very close.", Cal informed as they were strolling together through the woods.

"And we're near my dad's house", Nik smirked.

"Hey Alex, we... Alex??!!", Cal turned around and realized that Alex wasn't with them anymore. The whole time, both guys hadn't realized the girl's absence, even when they were privately talking with each other about her, and now... Both got worried, turned back, and were headed from where they came from to search for their missing Alex.

"Damn it, where did she go now??!" Nik's speed increased, and he was looking in all directions. Cal was close behind.

"Don't worry, we'll find her. I can still smell her. She must be close."

#bound by fate #mini series #choices fanfiction #drama #action #jealousy #death #werewolf #choices #playchoices #nightbound #nik ryder #cal lowell #choices nightbound #Spotify

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tumblingxelian · 3 months ago

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@maestro04yayyy & @just-that-asshole-withaknife you may be interested in this?

Sort of an overarching S1 restructuring around the Chloleka Match My Freak AU.

So, my own "Episode order" is different to canons but in this case canons actually works better, cos it means things start quite early, as where my own puts Rose's Akuma late in the game.

Plus, Dark Cupid comes right after Princess Fragrance, which adds a new layer to Chloe's rejection of Kim. Not sure if her being extremely gay about Juleka would really stymie Kim, so it could just be a shift in Chloe's dialogue about who she has her eyes on, and otherwise remain the same. Or be altered somewhat or even not happen.

Sticking with the canon list for the moment, Mr Pigeon might remain the same, though I could also see Chloe deciding to try and get Juleka's opinion and or design the hat around her aesthetic, which is likely when her interest becomes like... Obviously genuine to outside observers and or Juleka if she wasn't 100% sure yet.

Pixelator she naturally tries to have herself and Juleka working together, but she may also want Adrien around so maybe she puts them together in a sort of My two favorite people" way. & opts to be 'management' then is distracted helping Jagged and that may be a whole kettle of god damn fish actually.

Andre's presence also means this is when he loses the "Sad old dog/used car salesmen"" vibe to Juleka with how he switches from brutish & classist bastard to simpering fawner and backstabber.

I'd say maybe around Copycat is when All in The Style happens, so Juleka's aware of Chloe's interest, their matched freakness, and is getting comfortable enough with Chloe's flirting even if she doesn't return it and now it doing modelling.

So they are spending more time together.

Bubbler may be a bit of a setback given Rose was freaked out and Juleka would prioritize her, but that may just mean Chloe decides to be like "Right, ending this situation now!" and convinces Bubbler that trashing all Gabriel's stuff is also teen party activities so everyone can bail out while he's busy. Juleka may actually stay behind with her in this case once she's sure Rose is safely on the run.

Simon Says is likely the same.

Rogercop may not even happen as Chloe would likely either be showing off the bracelet to Juleka, or giving one to her, or they're discussing modelling stuff. Though friction may be caused by Roger deeming Anarka a bad influence and this may be where Andre starts realizing why Chloe's not been fawning on him lately.

This could also be where perception of Andre starts going from "OK he's teaching Chloe shitty ways to behave" to, "He's also possessive of Chloe."

Gamer & Animan, basically the same, again if they happen at all.

This could be where the dancing and first kiss happen then? IE, not quite dating but sure are something.

Darkblade is... Interesting, I think if anything this might be where Andre really realizes Chloe's disconected from him. She likely isn't super interested in the election, she's helping manage Julea's burgeoning modelling career, much more proffesional, mature and important. Plus not going for it means she doesn't need to fawn on Andre.

Plus if it does come up, maybe Chloe thinks she and Juleka should run? (Could lead to Sabrina Akumatizing in a sort of "Pay attention to me" may) but that leads to some brief tension as it reminds Juleka of how Chloe tended to win those elections, which upset Rose. But, she'd also be keyed in enough to Chloe-isms, to read between the lines of Chloe's explanation and hasty dismissal of doing so again.

This may not stop Andre from trying to push in, in some way; it may exclusively be classroom drama, or Akuma drama brought by Andre cos he showed up to be a nuisance and Darkblade followed. Regardless I'd say this is where Juleka keys in that Andre's a real, real problem, in more ways than just being negligent and over indulgent.

Also potential Jagged appearance again.

The Pharaoh, no changes, Timebreaker likely doesn't happen cos Chloe's clingy with Juleka over going all crow brain on a watch.

Though if it comes close it'll be like, Chloe making grabby hands for the watch and then Juleka sliding up next to her like, "Behave~" and Chloe just melts.

Horrificator is actually what inspired this post cos of some ideas I had:

Juleka had gotten a good sense for when Chloe was building up to tear into someone and even before she'd started feel stronger in her own skin, she'd been getting quite comfortable putting her foot down on the matter.

"Well I think-" Chloe let out a squeak as Juleka prodded a long nail against her side, but followed it up with an affectionate hip bump and arched brow.

Chloe took the silent reprimand and encouragement like a fish to water and switched gears without missing a beat.

"That its utterly ridiculous they moved up the submission date for this project, ad its clearly stressing everyone out."

That got several assenting murmurs of agreement and Chloe beamed excitedly at her; like this was some miracle Juleka had worked for her.

It was a nice feeling to be beheld with such blinding adoration, so Juleka wasn't about to tell her to stop either. Nails now teasing along Chloe's thigh she mouthed, 'good girl' and watched the blonde blush and preen under her gaze.

Unfortunately, or somewhat fortunately in Juleka's reckoning, Myleene did end up so stressed she Akumatized.

Which meant Juleka had a front row seat to a mass of monstrous flesh and fangs looming over her. Gaping mouth unhinging, viscus fluid and turgid flesh laid bare in a brutal, bellowing roar.

Rose ducked behind her but was peaking over her shoulder caught somewhere between scared and likely deeming it "Ugly Cute!"

Chloe was caught between also ducking behind her and looking like she wanted to pounce the Akuma and tear its face off with her teeth.

Juleka just took in the beast and grinned, "Cool~"

Then it began to shrink, a lot.

Less cool.

Chloe however was inundating her with praise for her bravery, very cool.

Mylene's final form was outright cute in Roses' reckoning so that was cool, maybe?

Whatever.

Pupeteer & Mime are likely the same, again if they happen, and Andre is likely starting to make things weird.

This could also dovetail with Guitar Villain or that's its own thing, the fact Jagged basically lives there is something to potentially be explored in general, especially if Anarka hears about it, drama~

That could also lead into Reflekta, though as Juleka would lack the photo curse insecurity. (Chloe hounded the fuck out of the first photo shoot to make sure everything was 'exceptionally perfect') So Juleka may get a different Akuma form and it could be over Jagged, or some mixture of elements.

Chloe's still pissed about photo day though.

Antibug, very conditional anyway and not liable to happen due to sheer willpower and or differing circumstances.

Kung Food, Chloe probably traded her spot on the judge panel with Juleka to boost her public prole. Andre's pissy about it, but she just went behind his back to do it and the showrunners are like "Look, we're already here, we're already shooting, your daughter doesn't want the part, so like... Call my boss about it or whatever." Plus Jagged again.

Volpina, hmm, I feel like there may be more suspicion around her, but also like, indifference, she may key into the pair though and be like "Oho, other potential targets." So who can know? & regardless, things are likely distracted by the missing book.

Ooh that could be a fun Akuma for Chloe actually, the books missing, Adrien can't come to school or leave the house anymore, boom, Akuma. Gabriel may regret it if Chloe deems him the problem over the missing book though XD

Andre may try and drag Audrey back to Paris early or maybe not or fails, everything but my timeline puts Style Queen quite late in the season but I prefer or earlier for various reasons. Anyway have other things to do and this kind of got way from me, but I hope its interesting?

#Match My Freak AU #Chloleka

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t-w-i-l-l-e-r · 5 months ago

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So. The whole reason Jeremy got a SQUIP was to become “the ideal boy”, right? A Manly Man, A Cool Guy, The Hero, Testosterone, Muscles, Gigachad, Getting Bitches, Alpha Male, etc etc. The entirety of More Than Survive is him denying this desire while also VERY MUCH EXPRESSING THIS DESIRE (ur repression isn’t fooling anyone hun). Jake is the prime example of this goal actually fulfilled; he’s well-liked, charismatic, aggressive, go-getting, mew streak 1000000, abs of steel, MANLY. Jake’s everything Jeremy wants to be, everything he thinks he needs to be to ~get with Christine~ and ~have all the friends~ and all the other shit he sets as the squip’s directive instead of the real thing he needs (therapy. And actually maybe some more friends wouldn’t hurt).

So it makes sense the squip is always trying to get him to resemble Jake, right? It molds Jeremy into that MYSTERIOUS MANLY MAN who WALKS WITH SWAGGER and SHOWS UP FASHIONABLY LATE and ONLY TALKS ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS WHEN ITS CONVENIENT and TREATS WOMEN LIKE DOGSHIT and CONNECTS WITH BLUETOOTH COMPATIBLE DEVICES. Y’know, guy stuff! But what’s fascinating to me is that when Jeremy is left to his own (Bluetooth incompatible) devices, he doesnt imitate the popular boys. He imitates the popular girls.

When Jake is upset (such as when he thinks Jeremy is “having sex in his parents bed” which is SO CRAZY and he is SO CRAZY for saying that and I have FEELINGS ABOUT IT but one thing at a time), he gets violent. Yelling, threatening Jeremy, destroying shit—the whole shebang. But when Chloe is upset or defensive, she gets petty. She interrupts Jenna, belittles Christine, betrays Brooke, and insults Jeremy. Neither of these reactions are surprising, especially to an audience expected to be familiar with teen drama stories. As a boy, Jake would be socialized to express his anger through physical aggression. As a girl, Chloe would be socialized to express her anger through relational aggression. And as the Most Boy and Most Girl in the entire show, it tracks that they’d follow these expectations down to the letter.

But Jeremy isn’t the Most Boy or Most Girl. He doesn’t know what the fuck he is, which is made abundantly clear by the, uh, everything about him. Everything including the fact that when Jeremy feels angry, he reacts much more like Chloe would than Jake. If Michael tried to block Jake from leaving the bathroom, Jake would probably have just shoved him out of the way, or at least threatened to (provided Jake couldn’t talk Michael down first, because Jake doesn't seem particularly prone to violence outside of—wow I should just make a seperate Jake post hes a freak I want to study him under a microscope). If Michael blocked Chloe from leaving the bathroom, she would insult him until he was demoralized enough to go with what she wanted without force. Which is exactly what Jeremy does to Michael, and later to Mr. Heere. In these moments, Jeremy is still trying to embody that “cool guy” image, but he doesn’t have the SQUIP’s gendered guidance. He’s going with his gut, and it’s becoming abundantly clear to the audience that this whole “manly man” thing isn’t what Jeremy really even wants (I mean, he turned down sex from a hot girl just a scene prior! He’s willingly failing at Mission Get Bitches!!! That’s like, mission one!!!!!!!). He just wants to… not feel shitty all the time.

And what’s interesting to me though is that while the SQUIP is out of the picture for the bathroom scene, it’s on and active for Jeremy’s confrontation with his dad. When Mr. Heere stops Jeremy from leaving, the SQUIP originally tries to brush him off. However, it tells Jeremy to stop and engage with him a lil bit, actually. Tell him what’s going on, Jeremy, be honest. And that’s where we get that second example of Jeremy more closely imitating The Mean Girl than The Cool Guy. So, like, that’s confusing, right? The SQUIP has been directing him to avoid any perceived femininity (literally one of their first interactions is it questioning/berating him for picking a “girls shirt”) so why would it lean so hard into this more feminine version of aggression when it could just tell Jeremy to, idk, punch Mr. Heere in the face ig? Well, on one hand I think it realizes that actual violence would probably make this conflict more trouble than it’s worth but on the other I think it’s a rly intentional power play on the SQUIP’s part. It’s directions are intentionally vague: “stop”, “tell him the truth”, “smth else vague” idk I don’t remember the scene exactly I’m too lazy to pull up the slime tutorial. The point is that we have seen the SQUIP feeding Jeremy lines like a teleprompter the entire show, literally saying “repeat after me” in its first big Social Interaction Test in bmc p1. I think it’s prompts being so open-ended is a way for it to sweeten the pot for Jerry a lil bit, considering everything that’s about to happen in “The Play” is gonna be so fucking crazy. I don’t think the SQUIP expected Jeremy to turn on it, but it knew it was asking a lot of Jeremy and he was hesitant. Being vague gave Jeremy just the right amount of control that he could say every single thing that he’s wanted to say to his father since the very first scene while still letting the SQUIP take all the credit. It’s oh-so-generously allowing Jeremy to take the reins to show that “see! Before me you could hardly hold a conversation with ur dad and now ur telling him to fuck off TO HIS FACE!! See how not shitty I make you feel?? See how powerful I make you feel?” It’s willing to break with Jeremy’s Cool Guy objective to further its own obsession with spreading the SQUIPs as far as possible, displaying how separate its goals are from Jeremy’s at this point. Jeremy doesn’t want this, anymore.

And then “The Play” happens and everything’s shit til it actually gets pretty not shit and then actually actually gets pretty awesome until at the end Jeremy is wearing Hello Kitty shoes and telling his dad he loves him and having friends (!!!!!) doing all the GIRLY BETA CUCK stuff he rejected b4 n maybe some of the MANLY GUY STUFF too bc what the fuck does it actually matter, real talk? Like, who even cares? And maybe, just maybe, feeling not only not shitty but Genuinely Actually Okay for the first time ever. Yay!

So. Um. Yeah. Idk what any of this means, rly. It’s just smth I thunk up recently and couldn’t get out of my head. Jeremy (affectionate).

#be more chill #bmc musical #jeremy heere #bmc meta #just noticed that I abruptly start capitalizing SQUIP halfway thru but am I gonna change it? NAUR :D #and is this perhaps me trying to spread my nonbinary Jeremy hc thru misdirection and propaganda?#well I’ll leave that up to ur imagination ;)#the squip #jake dillinger #chloe valentine #only partially mentioned those guys but still I believe in equality #actually ig #michael mell #mr heere #if I wanna b rly equal about it #twillertalks

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reds-writings · 9 months ago

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First and foremost, you are so talented in the fluidity of your writing and the characterisation of Rust. I was wondering how you think Rust would react if the Reader got pregnant? Would he pull a 2002 and freak out and leave? Would he even be capable of doing that?

thank you so much anon!! here’s some headcannons on that topic!

heavy content involving child loss ahead!! mentions of pregnancy and implications of abortion!! do not read if these are triggering topics!!

-i actually planned for the reader in the jj universe to not be able to have children due to a forced (botched) procedure from a teen pregnancy thus making her infertile (not sure if i was going to make a smaller fic about it since it’s such heavy content)

-so she understands having life take away something so crucial from her and having the choice of children be permanently made for her (just in a different way)

-but! if she were to hypothetically be able to have children:

-rust is dead set on never having children again after sofia as per various scenes stating so throughout the show

-what was once deep despair from such devastating loss slowly hardened into a sworn duty to never be selfish enough to bring something so pure for the never ending evils of the world to take away or tarnish

-you understand this and after one rather ugly argument about it one night a while back that almost had you two splitting you realized that you could set aside that certain desire (for it was a distant one to begin with)

-with your line of work and how little time you have it never seemed much of a reality anyway

-it’s not that rust hates children or is cruel to them in any capacity. he looks out for them and is kind to them in his own way, just at a preferred arm’s length distance more or less

-it’s hard to expect someone, let alone one like rust, to be able to ever pick up from the tragedy of his daughter’s death and start anew just like that

-to him it’d be like she never existed. like he’d be forced to forget and let go of his undying love for the precious soul ripped from him so cruelly. the thought of it all made him nothing short of sick and you wouldn’t be the one to push him on it

-if you were to ever get pregnant though it’d be an honest to god slip up

-how he’d react would greatly depend on how far into the relationship you’d be and just where he is in life at that moment

-his first instinct would to be to shut down and run but it’s you so fighting that internal battle would be hell itself

-he’d probably do the wrong thing and keep his distance one way or another for a while. leaving you to feel all sorts of things not good bc all you have is yourself at the moment to process something so monumental

-you’d like to think he wouldn’t just be some asshole deadbeat but the severe bout of radio silence became a breeding ground for negative second thoughts

-like this is something that might cause a huge rift or separation should you keep it

-mr ‘a man needs a family’ marty would be so mad at that man oh lord. he’s hounding on him any chance he gets

-would fr give him the cold shoulder at first with the news of your guys’ predicament and how rust was handling it like a damn coward (his words not mine)

-it takes a real hot minute (like far into the pregnancy hot minute) but rust does finally come around although things are still horribly tense

-trusting him to not turn tail again was a feat in itself. you gave him the rundown that if he wasn’t ready you didn’t need him around no matter how much you loved him. plus this was a ‘it takes two to tango’ situation so no one was to necessarily blame. it was what it was and that was that.

-you were done with the unnecessary stress and drama. all you could do was lay out the rules and let him decide to get with it or not

-it’d be hard on him once he’s realized how much of the little things he missed so far on the beginning of this new journey so that’s a whole other can of worms to deal with

-he tries his best in his own way to do what he can to make up for his absence. build a crib/nursery necessities, take you to the rest of your appointments, have everything you need at the ready, quiet freak outs about your health every minute of the day and so on. silent acts of service as per usual

-his insomnia is his excuse to make sure you’re doing okay but he won’t admit it really

-the fear of it all grips at you two in different ways but his is all the more paralyzing at times

-(he breaks down on his own time when the baby is born no doubt)

-i feel once the baby does come around he’d be one of those slightly distant fathers more often than not

-his support is performed in silence and his affections are kept mostly at bay. kinda like an old school dad who takes on the sole role of being a provider/mentor while you give your outward affections/love enough for the both of you and focus on keeping your kid happy

-there are times where he lets this demeanor slip, where you just know that he’d do anything no matter what for this kid despite it all. that loving them didn’t mean forgetting sofia. not in the slightest

-he’d just be extremely slow to warm and it’d take a lot of time to chip away at his exterior in this context but he also probably keeps in mind not to end up a total fuckhead like his father

#rust cohle #reds-writings #anon ask #rust cohle headcanons #rust cohle x reader #true detective imagine #true detective season 1 #true detective #rust cohle imagine #writer blog #had to type this on my phone lol #hopefully this wasn’t ass!#red speaks

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simp-ly-the-best · 8 months ago

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i hate marinette, here's why. (i don't hate her, i just don't like her.)

Reasons why i hate her:

Marinette’s behavior is just way too creepy and it’s NOT endearing when she sniffs his pillow or stalks him.

She’s become too boring and is annoyingly insecure about everything, and you’d think that after a lot of time around Adrien she’d get used to being around him but no because plot

Adrien would be a more interesting character but there’s almost no focus on him.

Chloe could be such a great character and I honestly thought she’d be developed and fleshed out into a complex, relatable teen, but now that the creator’s like “oh she’s just evil” then i don’t know why the heck they spent episodes “developing” her and making her Queen Bee. So many key moments and characteristics, like her abusive mother and idiot father, all down the drain.

Lila was a character added purely to add stupid drama and is basically unnecessary and annoying.

The whole romance is so convoluted and stupidly written. And I don’t see a point in bringing Luka and Kagami into the mix if Adrien and Marinette will obviously get together anyway by Season 10 or something.

At thiis point Marinette should get with Kagami and Adrien with Luka cause they clearly have more chemistry than Adriennete

The akuma thing is so old now and they’ve even recycled villains. They have no creativity anymore. I am SICK of freaking Reflecta (don’t know if i got that right) appearing all the time.

Chat Blanc. Enough said.

Some people say she is a Mary Sue. Yes she has the attributes like perfect family, OP abilities she has two powers not just one. Chat's night vision is never used, her Lucky Charm and Miraculous Ladybug is an episodic ability. She is the only one who can do anything about akumas and amoks. She learnt how to fence out of nowhere, like Kagami and Adrien struggled with it for years she now has this ability too. At kawmi swap she uses the Cat miraculous without any issues and Adrien doesn't know anything. She uses a bunch of kwamis in one go, with knowledge. She becomes the Guardian when she made a huge mistake. Etc. I could go on why is she considered a Mary Sue, but honestly I don't consider her one. Zoey Redbird is the real Mary Sue in my eyes.

She is portrayed as a stalker for giggles. This is where the writers ruined a fine character. Do you watch anime? The stalker girl turns out to be a yandere, makes the protagonist's life hell, kills off his parents, friends, girlfriend, even in some cases the protagonist too. Yanderes have shrines of the protagonist's stuff, break into his house, follow home. Marinette is not that far away to turn into a yandere trope only for laughs.

She admitted herself that she is a stalker. She stole four phones trough the series (Adrien's in Copycat, Chloé's, Alya's and Kagami's phone in Ikari Gozen, but at first she gave her phone to Marinette wilingly), she stole the photographer's harddrive, tricked Chloé a bunch of times out of jealousy and nearly ruined Kagami's chances with Adrien.

She broke into his room as Ladybug, sniffed his pillow. I hate how she acted as an obsessive stalker when she entered.

She followed Adrien and Lila in Onii-chan home, she was ready to climb the wall and even asked a fireman for his ladder.

How she wanted to ask out Adrien in Simpleman. She ditched four kids with his usually tense grandpa to repair Adrien's angel wings. Because she was so shy to ask him out to the movies in this episode and Adrien too rushed back to his photoshoot. To have a chance with him she was ready to just ruin the wings again with a fishing rod. Yeah the Guardian ladies and gentlemen.

It still creeps me out that she knows everything about Adrien but she barely can talk with him. I used to know a bunch of stuff about my ex boyfriend because he was the one who told me or with time I found out a lot about him as we dated, spent time together or I got to know his precious people. Marinette knows everything about Adrien without asking him (Gamer, Befana, Goridzilla and Kung Food where I remember they talking about stuff). She knows his favorite color, fruit, his schedule for the next 5 years (I bet even Adrien doesn't know what his father planned), she knows his life but doesn't know him as himself. Samd thing can be said about Ladynoir but they have to protect their identities and at least Chat tries to know his partner only for her to remind him that they can't know anything.

She made macaroons for him every weekend, she made him gifts for his 30 years of birthdays bunch of little weird stuff.

She kissed his “wax” statue worst episode ever, the moment I started to dislike her.

She is a hypocrite with the rules. Alya and Nino can know, Alya can know her identity, but Chat can't know anything, he can't tell his identity to Nino. Alya, Nino and Luka were revealed yet they can still be holders, no matter that she risks their lives and she could choose new ones. Still Kagami probably won't be Ryuko ever again, Chloé couldn't be Queen B in season 3.

Lukanette. New York special she was moving on from Adrien only for everyone and their mother pushed her into Adrien's arms. She was dating Luka, he was dating Kagami. Still we see in Truth too that even her boyfriend Luka knows that she is obsessed with Adrien yet he is dating her without any jealousy. Poor Luka you deserve better.Give this man a fucking break.

She as the Guardian. I don't like that the we are equals plot is out of the window. Now she “can make/create anything the universe is the limit", so she can make charms, summon miraculouses, save the day as a civilian not let Scarabella or Chat save the day once.

The writers could have done so much with this show and this is why I am so bitter that they waste pretty good characters for no reason. Just think about that Marinette has a good story arc in the first two seasons. She stood up to Chloé, finally acted on her feelings, broke down under the pressure of being the Guardian. Yet they had to throw in the stalker, obsessive nearly yandere trope for fun to ruin her. I wish at least one character would call her out for it and she would learn from it. I wish that in season four she really moved on with Luka so her obsession would end. But no we can't have development.

Still she is a fictional character, I hate how the writers write these characters.

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vriskaserketdaily · 1 year ago

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its so hard to write vriska as an adult because she is So chronically a teenage girl. like a good 30% of her actions can be explained away with "shes a teenage girl"

yeah being 13 is just like that idk what to tell you

this is gonna probably get into "your experiences are not universal" territory but (pic unrelated)

vriska is the kinda chick where, you weren't exactly friends with her, but you ran in the same circles of weird-but-not-too-weird kids. like, neither of you were popular but there were definitely two or three freaks lower on the social scale than her, and unlike you she was a huge bitch about it. anyway, you have a massive but not-unforseen falling out (she is a LOT) and end up going to separate high schools. years later you reconnect with a different friend from the same school, and as you're catching up with them her name comes up.

and your first thought is, "damn, she's still alive?"

let's say, for example, that this is kanaya and nepeta catching up. the trolls' friend group might not have been as freaky as my own, but there are FOR SURE two or three of 'em where looking back it's like "yeah, no way that kid isn't dead/in jail by now." and then, pleasant surprise, ten years later nobody's offed themselves BUT the guy you least expect (karkat) is now a father. go figure. anyway nepeta/kanaya gets curious and asks what the hell vriska is up to, since last she heard vriska was a pretty troubled kid and it'd be nice to get some closure on that front.

same old shit, somehow. except now the police can get involved, and basically her life is a huge mess. does she have a job? no. a degree? well, half a bachelor's maybe, but everyone else who hasn't made a trainwreck of their lives is either thinking about a master's or certified in some trade of choice. does she even have a car? . . . not as such. the perpetual mystery is how is she GETTING into all this insane and petty drama with the most QUESTIONABLE people like how is she GOING to these VENUES with no car??? WHERE is she meeting & dating this BIZARRE rotating cast of shitstain losers and rancid wannabe IG baddies?????

has she like, developed or grown in any capacity? well, now she's cool with tats and piercings and has a big ol anchor on her shoulder she got while dating a hot college chick as a high school freshman, but no, she is in no way a nicer or more mature person. anyway let's circle back to karkat being a teen dad WHAT??? how did THAT happen???

so to answer your question, i prefer to write adult!vriska as "that one chick in your old friend group who never actually grew up past middle school, to the detriment of herself and everyone in her immediate vicinity." the degree to which she completely wrecks her own/others' lives is up to you (i stop short of putting her in jail for vehicular manslaughter by simply not letting her have a car) and whether or not she Can develop into a stable, well-adjusted adult is Also up to you. personally i think she'd make an excellent fake psychic, but singer-songwriter, professional wrestler, vlogger/streamer, and independently wealthy layabout are all viable vriska "careers" (also, most miserable history major on earth, if you truly believe she would get a degree in l*beral arts). hope this helps!

#vriska serket #mod 8 #daily vriska serket #vriska #daily vriska #homestuck #vriska homestuck #homestuck vriska #source for all this: again: i rocked with the freaks in middle school. and a different crowd of freaks in high school.#reason: i Was the kid who was like max 2 or 3 rungs up from the bottom of the social scale all thru compulsory education.#'rocked with' i WAS a freak just. not to the degree that it greatly hampered my personal/professional development

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cherryanony · 9 months ago

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IN DEFENSE OF ELENA GILBERT: Why Do Yall Hate Emotional Women?

Vampire Diaries - Elena Gilbert pictured doing nothing wrong

HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

I started watching The Vampire Diaries back in 2016, right as it was coming to its long overdue close. To say I was obsessed was an understatement.

I would spend hours, days, WEEKS, consuming fan content, rewatching episodes and scenes over and over agin, discussing stupid plot points and writing descions that were made and throughout all of that one question has always dangled over my head...

Why does everybody hate Elena Gilbert?

Despite The Vampires Diaries being a dark supernatural teen drama filled to the brim with freaks & weirdos, murderers, psychopaths, evil forces and THE ACTUAL LITERAL DEVIL... Elena Gilbert reigns as the most hated character on the show by viewers.

But, why?

Elena Gilbert starts off the show as a 17 year old teenage girl who just experienced some of the craziest trauma any person, let alone TEENAGER, could ever go through. She was in the car with her parents when they died off Wickory Bridge and now suffers from a serious case of survivors guilt, a trait and mo motif she struggles with and must come to terms with throughout the show.

She falls for two vampire brothers who bring nothing but more hell into her life, she finds out she's adopted, her birth mother is a vampire and a piece of shit, her birth father is her insane negligent Uncle John, she's lost more loved ones than one can count over and over again, and she's constantly paranoid and never safe because she's a doppleganger with special blood that many dangerous supernatural creatures want.

"But she's whinyyy and a crybabyyy😩..."

As if one of her friends or family aren't on the brink of death every episode. Elena didn't do enough crying if we're being honest.

Elena is by no means a perfect, innocent character. A lot of people are right about her flaws; she can be very selfish with a what-about-me & and look-at-me-this-isn't-you complex and she's constantly getting away with a lot shit since she's the main character. And a lot people say she never faces any consequences but.... she does.... and it's called...

VAMPIRE!ELENA

THAT'S IT! That's where everyone says her character went completely wrong, her character completely falls apart. But I'd argue that Vampire!Elena is a culmination of all her descions coming back to bite her in the ass.

Throughout S1-3, Elena struggles with survivors guilt. She should've gone off the bridge with her parents. She's depressed, she's moody, she's "whiny" all while feeling like the supposed "love of her life" is trying to "fix her" when she's not ready.

In season 4 episode 10, Elena clearly states that Stefan looks at her like she's a broken toy that needs to be fixed. I could go on a whole rant on what I think Stefan's problems are but to sum it all up — Stefan turned into a vampire at 17 years old — a teenager — and spends his entire vampire life struggling with his heightened personality and his Ripper Gene which led him down a path to losing everyone he's ever loved.

(He killed his own abusive father, lost his best friend due to his own brother who he forced to turn with him and now wants him dead after a wedge is driven between them.)

I say all that to say I get Stefan's character. He's scared and insecure, similar to Elena, to be alone and lose everyone he cares about. However, all of his efforts to better himself and relationships only drives people away. People bring up Damon killing Elena's brother, Jeremy, all the time

(again.. HE WAS WEARING THE GILBERT RING! HE'S FINE! YOU DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT JEREMY, NOBODY DOES!)

But NOBODY talks about Stefan endangering Jeremy and almost getting him killed by forcing him to continue the Hunter's Mark because he thought Elena being human again would make her be in love with him again. (sorry but that's fucking insane😭😭😭!!)

Stefan wasn't only afraid of losing Elena, he was also afraid of losing her to his brother. All these efforts drove Elena away, right into the arms of the person he wanted to keep her away from.

I think Elena felt as if Stefan was just like everyone else who wanted "the old Elena" back. The person that Elena use to be before the accident that the show alludes to in the first season. But that Elena is dead and gone, she'll never be the same person she was before going off that bridge. Apart of her died that night and again when she went off the bridge for the second time and became a vampire.

Elena struggles with being a vampire and basically dying twice and instead of being supportive Stefan immediately wants to fix and change her. Damon is the only one she feels free and alive with. A statement Elena makes herself throughout the show. Despite the stupid discourse over the Sire Bond, Damon was the one she felt the safest with after that plotline was resolved.

But enough about comparing those brothers, this is about ELENA! You know who she gets compared to..?

KATHERINE

KATHERINE IS A LOSER!

Before you raise your pitchforks, I love Katherine. Great character, great villain, but she's a loser!

People LOVE to compare Katherine and Elena!

"Katherine's such a badass and Elena is a whiny crybaby." But I would argue the opposite.

See Katherine's backstory here, despite everything Katherine's been through, the show makes a point that while, yes, Katherine is a survivor, she's also an avoidant runner. She spends 500 years running from the big bad Klaus and once he fianlly lets her go she continues torture, manipulate, and harrass people.

She continues her streak of only whining and complaining about the life she never had because of the things that happened to her, which... fair!

However, despite being given several chances with a romance with Elijah, a life with her daughter as a mother, all the people she's ever wronged helping her and forgiving her on her death bed, taking over Elena's body and essentially starting over in a new life and even being THE QUEEN OF HELL... it was never enough. Nothing was ever enough for Katherine.

She was given many chances to change, to finally LIVE HER LIFE but she chose to continue down her path of destruction. Which, in my opinion, is fine for her character! LET KATHERINE BE THE SAD AND TRAGIC CHARACTER SHE IS! She doesn't have to be some anti-hero badass.

The contrast of Katherine and Elena, two girls who had their lives and innocence stolen from them at a young age thanks to tragic events out of their control and two vampire brothers, is great and executed as well as TVD writing could do (infamously known for shitty writing and plot holes but I digress).

The pieces to the K/E puzzle were so obviously placed, Katherine who was jealous of Elena living the life she never got, chose the path of selfishness and power, and Elena chose the path of love and regrowth and not letting her past define her.

But viewers missed the big picture. Katherine is a survivor but where did that get her? Dead and unloved. Besides freedom from Klaus, she didn't get a single thing she desired. Not a life with Stefan or Elijah or as a mother with her daughter or as Elena Gilbert or Queen of Hell! No! She lost everything and blamed Elena. SHE LOST! SHE'S A LOSER!

She survived, but she didn't live.

In my opinion, Elena is the real survivor. She didn't let her past consume and lead her to a similar fate as Katherine. She chose to be selfless and to love again after being hurt.

She chose to be alive.

SO BACK TO THE PROMPT....

Why do y'all hate emotional women?

"Elena has experienced more grief than anyone I've ever met." - Sherrif Liz Forbes

Every character has went through a lot and have done similar, if not worst, things as Elena as a result yet she's the most hated character?

There's a pattern of fans hating certain female characters who are more sensitive and cry instead of bury their feelings and just punch a man and suddenly get crowned "Most Badass Female Character". Characters, not just female, expressing their emotions is strong and badass and might inspire audiences to do the same and not keep grief in and become self destructive. It's healthy and natural and makes the character not so one note.

It's not fair to compare Elena's trauma and experiences to other characters (espically not Bonnie, that's topic for a whole other post). But why do other characters get a pass despite being ten times more flawed and problematic?

Why are certain characters able to cry, complain, self destruct, fuck someone over, etc but Elena can't?

Genunine question.. let's discuss...

-*- I wasn't able to fully delve into my thoughts on Elena and certain TVD characters, plot points, theme, etc because this post will be 50 pages long. This is the brief version.

***There will be a part 2 to this post where I delve deeper into the trend of hating characters like Elena.

#the vampire diaries #tvd #tvdu #elena gilbert #discussion #fandom #essay #character #for the girls #delena

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itsjeongris · 2 years ago

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We met in a Cruel Summer

It was the summer after high school when Y/n decided to go to her friend’s party only to involve herself with her school’s heartthrob, Kim Gyuvin.

Kim Gyuvin x F!Reader

A/N: This is the first story I wrote in a while so pls go easy on me sorry if it isn’t good and some things don’t make sense sorry

Word Count: 5.8k.

Warnings/Tags ig: She/Her pronouns used for reader, Angst? Fluff, Mild profanities, Mentions of food, Yelling, and ONE mildly suggestive scene, Takes place a year before boys planet got announced so gyuvin is like 17 here and the characters I write about here don’t reflect the idols in real life. (Pls msg if there’s more I haven’t added)

It was the first night of the summer, and Y/n was wearing a white long-sleeved collared shirt and black pants. She put on light makeup and then decided to make her way to her friend’s house for a party. She walked out and then went to the bus stop. While waiting she encountered her neighbor and IT boy at her school, Gyuvin. He had a promiscuous reputation, playing with girls, and things like that. He was at the top of his class every semester so his teachers couldn’t be bothered to involve themselves in high school drama. ‘I heard some nasty things about this dude from Seo-yun, it’s better to not get involved’ She thought, planning to avoid the boy. Much to her dismay, he decided to come up to her, sending her a smile that most girls swooned over.

“Hey, Y/n!” He said as he came up to her. “Are you going to Seo-yun’s party too?” Gyuvin added. “Yeah, I actually am” She replied, not wanting to be rude to him. “Great, so am I, you wanna go together?” He asked her with a smile. “Yeah, sure. I don’t mind” She said, noticing he looked genuinely happy she didn’t wanna dishearten him by declining. “Great! Let’s go then” He said pointing to the bus that just arrived. They both got on the bus sitting next to each other then talking about random things. She found out he has a dog and he’s part of a dance studio called Yuehua.

They soon arrived at the bus stop near Seo-yun’s place and both went out of the bus. The walk there was silent but not awkward, Y/n took the chance to think about things, ‘Gyuvin seems like a polite person though, maybe Seo-yun was lying about it?’ She said while unintentionally staring at him. “You know, if you’re gonna stare at me the entire time might as well ask me out,” He said with a smirk on his face. “Jeez I was just looking at you for like a second and why would I wanna date you? I just met you” She replied, noticing the boy looking dejected.

“Whatever let’s just go now.” It went silent and awkward for the two teens. They soon arrived at Seo-yun’s place. Knocking on the door then it opens, “Oh hey, Y/n- Woah Gyuvin you actually went?” Seo-yun asked in confusion while opening the door wider as a gesture to come in. “Yeah I mean I don’t have anything else to do so might as well.” He said letting himself in while grabbing Y/n’s hand to drag her along.

Seo-yun looked at the two suspiciously but ignored it and quickly dragged Y/n to where Sooha was waiting for them. “Girl- you got some explaining to do,” Seo-yun said to Y/n while she looked at them confusedly, “What do you mean?” After she said that she quickly realized what they meant. “First off, you came in here with THE Kim Gyuvin, Second, HE HELD YOUR HAND?” Sooha freaked out and looked disgusted. Y/n looked confused, “Listen, I only went with him because he offered to, and like- he just dragged me in? what’s wrong with it?” After Y/n said that Seo-yun made them go to a different room so they can discuss things more privately.

“We told you already okay, HE’S A FUCKING PLAYBOY HE’S JUST GONNA MANIPULATE YOUR FEELINGS LIKE HES DONE WITH ALMOST EVERYONE IN OUR SCHOOL” Seo-yun yelled out feeling frustrated, knowing she had some secret that she didn’t want to admit to her. “Can we just, enjoy the party? I don’t really wanna talk about this right now..” Y/n said nervously, trying to avoid the situation from spilling over.

“Fine, but we’re talking about this tomorrow,” Seo-yun concluded then all of them went back to the main room. Gyuvin approached Y/n as soon as she left the room. “Hey Y/n do you wanna hang out with me for a bit?” He asked her confidently. She thought about it and noticed none of his friends he seemed to hang around him were there and she didn’t want to embarrass him. “Yeah sure, I’m free anyways.” She said hesitantly

“Great! let’s go then?” He said grabbing her wrist and then taking her to where the drinks and food were. He grabbed a bag of chips while realizing Y/n hasn’t gotten a drink or any food. “Y/n, are you not gonna get anything?” He asked her worriedly. “Nope, I already ate a bit before coming here.” She said.

“That’s good, but you should eat still,” He said. “Yeah, I will” She replied and realized that he isn’t as bad as Seo-yun and Sooha made him out to be. There weren’t many people at the party but the loud music made her cover her ears occasionally. Gyuvin noticed it and asked her “Is it too loud for you? Do you wanna stay on the balcony?” She was surprised he even noticed it.

“I mean only if you want to” She replied back, it got silent between them, the only thing being heard was the loud music blaring from the speakers and the conversations of those around them. “What are you waiting for? let’s go.” He said grabbing her hand again, ‘I swear this is like the 3rd time today’ She thought.

They went up the stairs and soon reached the balcony. It wasn’t small and was fairly big for a balcony. It was empty except for the fake grass placed on the floor. Gyuvin sat down and Y/n followed soon after. He brought out a bag that literally came out of nowhere and brought out some more snacks.

“You want some?” He asks Y/n, “I don’t mind” She replied back, getting a choco pie out of the mini bag he had. “How come you’re so nice to me even though we just met?” She asked curiously. “We’ve been classmates for a while and you seem so nice but you never talked to me, I haven’t found the chance to talk to you until today though” It’s true, the pair had been classmates since their freshman year and now they’re on their senior years and Y/n hadn’t approached him because of Seo-yun and Sooha, they always told her that he was a bad person.

“Wow, who knew we felt the same” She muttered under her breath hoping he wouldn’t hear her. “Then why didn’t you talk to me?” He asked her. She was contemplating telling him about Seo-yun and Sooha, “It’s because of Seo-yun and Sooha.” she ended up spilling it. “Huh? What do you mean?” He questioned her, bewildered since last he checked, Sooha and Seo-yun were completely fine with him.

“They think you’re a playboy and would just end up breaking my heart in the end so they never let me talk to you” She said quickly hoping he would change the topic already. “Well don’t listen to them, do what you want to do and if it is talking to me and being my friend then so be it. Just don’t give a fuck about what they think, live your own life, Y/n” He said with his signature smile on his face.

“So would you like to be friends?” She asked nervously, fidgeting with her fingers as she waited for his answer. He grabbed her hands and looked at her endearingly. “Obviously I would, who wouldn’t wanna be friends with you?”

She decided to change the topic so it wouldn’t be that awkward. “You dance right?” She asked him. “I told you on the bus, didn’t I?” He replied to her in a playful tone. “I was wondering if you could teach me kick it by nct 127, I love the choreography for that but I’m not really sure how to do it.” She asked him hesitantly since they were not that close yet. “Sure, I don’t mind. I already learned it a while back, Can I have your number? So we can meet up one of these days” He said bringing out his phone, She put in her number and then returned it to him.

She checked her phone and then realized it was already midnight. “Shoot, I don’t think I can catch a ride home” She panicked since she snuck out and simply couldn’t call her mom to pick her up. “I’ll call an uber, you live around the block yeah? I’ll just walk you home” He offered. “No, I can’t accept it. You’re being too nice.” She said back. “Nope, too late I already called it and we’re friends, right? Obviously, I have to make sure you’re safe.” Gyuvin said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Fine whatever, if you insist,” Y/n answered back. They both went down to wait outside for their uber. In the main room, it was nearly empty except for the passed-out Yiren and Minji on the couch, Y/n draped a blanket over the pair. Seeing Y/n be so caring towards her friends made Gyuvin moved by her kindness despite the fact they both tried to not make her friends with him.

“Y/n ! The uber’s here, let’s go” He said. Y/n followed Gyuvin out and they soon both got in the car. The drive back was silent and soon reached Gyuvin’s home. He paid the driver and he drove off. He followed his word and walked her back home. They both said their goodbyes and went off their own ways. Y/n tried to open the front door as quietly as possible and ended up succeeding in getting in without her parents noticing.

-------------------------------------

The duo soon got close as the weeks went by, without Y/n’s best friends knowing of course. She was now getting ready to meet Gyuvin at his house to hang out. She wore a hoodie with some leggings and a sling bag to keep her valuables. She soon heard his car pull up in front of her house. She soon finished applying her face powder and decided to go. It was a monday so her parents weren’t home. She soon got in the car.

“Hey Gyuvinnie !” She greeted him while putting on her seatbelt. “Yo Y/n, How are you?” He said. “I’m doing fine what about you?” She asked him. “Same here but I’m exhausted since I’m trying to improve my dancing skills” He replied back to her question. “Oh that’s nice.” She said while looking out the window. “Speaking of which, why did you take the bus that day? Why didn’t you just drive there yourself?” She asked, curiosity laced in her voice.

“I was grounded at that time so I couldn’t use the car so I just snuck out then took the bus.” He answered. “Then that makes two of us then !” Y/n said while smiling at him. He looked back at her then smiled back.

It didn’t take long for him to arrive at his home and they both got out and Y/n was surprised on the size of his house. She hadn’t seen the entirety of it during the night of the party because it was dark out and she realized how rich Gyuvin was. “Damn, What the hell” She mumbled under her breath in shock. “Stop staring at my house and just go inside” He said grabbing her by her wrist which seemed to be a habit for him.

“Gyuvin are your parents home?” She asked, “Nope, they’re both out on a business trip” He said. “You wanna go to my practice room? You wanna learn kick it right?” He asked her while she followed him. “Oh yeah I almost forgot, Thanks for reminding me.” She replied back and they walked in his practice room. It looked like a practice room from a dance studio, crazy to think he’s that rich.

“Okay let’s start” He walked over to the center of the room. “Let’s do some warmups first, shall we?” He offered. They did simple stretches and some exercises. He then brought out his phone then connected it to the speakers. “Do you want to watch the dance practice first or do you wanna go straight to it?” he asked. “I’ll just do it without watching the dance practice first”

He played the music on his phone, She did well in the first chorus then started to get lost in the 1st verse since she hasn’t watched the dance practice in a while. ‘Shoot I just embarrassed myself, Oh my god he must think I’m terrible now’ She started to slow her movements then stopped altogether. Gyuvin noticed then stopped the music and went over to her.

“Are you okay Y/n?” He noticed that she forgot some parts of the choreography at the start then got nervous afterwards. “We can watch the dance practice first if you want? Then I’ll teach you how to do it” He offered. “Yes please I’m suffering right now”

Gyuvin went out the room then came back with his laptop and placed it on the floor. She analyzed it and taking note of some parts she did wrong and got up after it ended. Gyuvin then went to Y/n and started showing her the steps for the first verse.

“So first you move your arms in an inward motion then you move your right leg outwards” He said while demonstrating it. “You can do it separately first then try to do it together.” She started doing it then slowly got the hang of it. “Your making some progress already ! Let’s try first chorus + 1st verse with the music” He said happily

She noticed him looking so passionate while dancing and it made her admire him. She started to fall for him even before she befriended him, her encounters with him in the hallway, or even the way he smiles at her while giving back her test paper. Y/n fell for Gyuvin so hard, but he fell first.

Y/n was able to finish the 1st verse and decided to learn the full song (i dont wanna describe anything I am not a dancer) after practicing the full choreography at least 10 times not including the learning portion they both lay on the floor, exhausted.

“Hey, you wanna eat anything? I can cook some ramyeon if you want?” He asked her sitting up and Y/n following soon after. “Yeah sure, I’m starving right now.” They both got up and walked towards his kitchen, getting a pack of noodles on the way. While waiting they both decided to chat a bit about their hobbies, She found out Gyuvin wanted to be an idol but is unsure about it since it mean giving up his privacy. He also liked singing and playing games. He offered to play some smash bros in his room after eating and she agreed excitedly.

They both ate silently then afterwards went to his room. He had a nice setup and a tv in his room too. He then set up his switch then booted up the game. He handed her a controller and opened the game. He chose Joker as his character and I chose Bayonetta.

Y/n was on a losing streak so she tackled Gyuvin to distract him then ended up winning. “Y/nnn That’s just cheating” He pouted then decided to change the game to mario kart. They both chose their characters then played as normal. Y/n ended up winning a lot surprisingly so Gyuvin got revenge. While she was in 1st place he started tickling her. “STOP- hah- PLEASE-” She started saying while in a fit of laughter.

They both didn’t win because they ended up forgetting about the game and ended up fighting each other. After a while they both just laid on the floor looking at the ceiling. “Gyuvinnie, have you decided on what career you wanna do besides being an idol?” She asked him while still looking up. “Not really, being an idol is really what’s on my mind right now. What about you Y/n?” He said while turning his head to look at her.

“I don’t really have anything in mind but maybe I’ll try to think about it more.” She replied and looked back at him. “You can be a dancer you know? With proper training you can be a great dancer” He suggested. “Hmm.. I’ll think about it when the time comes.” She was considering it ever since Gyuvin started to teach her how to dance kick it.

She got up and started looking for her bag. “Gyuvin, I’ll go now so my parents won’t worry.” She said while reaching her hand for the door knob, before she could twist it open a much bigger hand went on top of her’s and she turned around to see Gyuvin behind her. “Wait can you stay for a bit more Y/n?” he asked her. “

“Gyuvinnie, I can’t you know? I still have to do chor-” She got cut off by Gyuvin grabbing her shoulders then pinning her to the wall. ‘huh?’ she was confused and flustered. She started blushing furiously, “Yah, Gyuvin what are you doing? T-This isn’t funny you know...” She said nervously.

“Y/n... Ever since you introduced yourself in our freshman class, I had a crush on you. The way you were so nice to everyone to the way your eyes would shine when you answered a question in english. That night of the party made me fall for you more, I’m sorry if I made things awkward its fine if you don’t-”

Before he could complete his sentence, Y/n grabbed his collar then pulled him down so his lips could meet hers. He was caught off guard but after a few moments he kissed back. His lips moved perfectly against hers as he grabbed her waist to deepen it. In response she moved her arms to wrap around his neck.

They both pulled away panting and stayed in each other’s hold for awhile. Gyuvin grabbed her wrist then dragged her to his bed then hugged her. They both stayed like that for awhile until Y/n pops the question. “Gyuvin, what are we exactly?” She asks while sitting up, Gyuvin sits up too while he reached his hand out to cup her cheek. “We can be anything you wanna be, Y/n” He says endearingly while Y/n pulls him into another hug.

“Then I wanna be your girlfriend” She replies quickly. “I will but only if I’ll be your boyfriend” He says with a smirk. They ended up cuddling and falling asleep together.

------------------------------------

The next morning Y/n woke up and tried to sit up but Gyuvin’s arm was tightly wrapped around her waist. She realized that she was still in Gyuvin’s house and she never went home. “Oh shoot” She said louder than intended and ended waking Gyuvin up. “What is it Y/n?” He asked while rubbing his eyes. “My parents are gonna kill me.” She said while looking for her bag where she kept her phone.

“I’ll just take you there, just say you had an impromptu sleepover with Yiren or something?” He suggested. “That’s a good idea but they still might get mad but not as much” She replied, getting out of the bed and fixing her hoodie, While doing that she noticed Gyuvin spacing out and found herself staring at his dark brown irises, even though they were in a darker hue, she liked the way it shined when he does something he loved.

“Y/n, if you keep staring might as well compliment me already” He says with impatience laced in his voice. “Well sorry, your eyes are just pretty thats why” He blushes at the compliment but regains his composure. “Well they’re pretty because you see your own reflection in them~” He flirts back, while Y/n blushes a bit. “Y-Yah can I go home now” She asks still kind of flustered by what he said earlier.

“Fine, let’s go” Gyuvin said, reaching for her hand as they went out of his room. They continued this until she went home and when she reached her front door, before Gyuvin left Y/n hugged him then asked him to text her later.

Her parents arrived in the night then Y/n just explained that her and Yiren had a surprise sleepover and they just took her word for it.

--------------------------------

It’s been a month since Y/n and Gyuvin started dating, they went on a few dates here and there but for their monthsary, he decided to ask her out to an amusement park nearby. She accepted, eager to meet up with her boyfriend once more.

She was once again getting ready, she put on a simple crop top (if ur uncomfy just imagine any top) and baggy jeans. She wanted to wear something special but since they’re going in an amusement parks she had little options.

She decided to not put on makeup since it would most likely get ruined when she goes on the rides. Gyuvin told her beforehand that he wanted to take the bus instead of driving there and she just agreed since it really reminded her when they first met. “Y/nnn hurry upp” She heard Gyuvin saying it impatiently while knocking. “Wait-“ she says hurriedly as she got her bag and went down the stairs to answer the door.

“Hey Y/n, you ready to go?” He asks her. “Hi Gyuvinnie, yeah I am, let’s goo” She says excitedly and reaches to hold his hand. He noticed her trying to subtly reach out her hand and held her hand first. They continued on like this as they went over to the bus stop. She was currently rambling about a group that she was currently fixated on.

“Yeah like- Ciipher is an amazing group it’s just that rain sucks-“ She continued ranting about Ciipher until the bus arrived. Gyuvin wasn’t interested on the group itself, sure it intrigued him but all he could focus on was the way your eyes reflected off the sunlight giving a bright and youthful aura. The way some of your hair strands stood up, even though it may just appear messy on everyone else’s eye but to him, it’s what made her stood out from others in her school. She was the only one who didn’t attempt to hit on him or pursue him. Hell at one point Yiren tried asking him out but that didn’t work out.

After awhile she soon got tired then tried to sleep, Gyuvin noticed and put her head on his shoulder. It remained like this throughout the whole way there.

When the bus driver stopped to announce the stop, Gyuvin woke her up by shaking her lightly. She didn’t wake up, so he just slapped her lmao.

“What the hell gyuvin” Y/n was rubbing her arm while glaring at Gyuvin. “What? You wouldn’t wake up, let’s get off now idiot.” He said then holding her hand and dragging her out of the bus.

They walked a bit before they reached the amusement park then went through the entrance fees and lines. It was quick since they went on a week day. Y/n held Gyuvin’s hand and pointed at a big rollercoaster then looked at back at him with pleading eyes.

“Gyuvinnn can we ride that first” She begged. “Sure let’s go” He agreed and then went there with her. They soon after started lining up for the ride. It wasn’t long and they soon got to the front of the line, “Y/n, I dare you to ride in the front row” He said with a smirk, “Fine, but only if you do too” Y/n responded.

They both got on the ride and Y/n broke her composure and started looking around nervously. She fumbled with the seat belt, struggling to put it on. Gyuvin noticed it then reached his hand out to help her put it on.

The ride went smoothly afterwards besides the loops and drops. As the ride came to a stop, the couple got off slowly while holding onto eachother for support.

"Never again." Gyuvin stated as he draped his arm over Y/n's shoulder for support. "I regret ever suggesting that" Y/n said as she tried to support herself by doing the same thing Gyuvin was doing.

After 10 minutes of walking around the couple soon found a food stall they wanted to buy from. Y/n went to go find a seat for the two of them and Gyuvin went to buy food.

She was scrolling through instagram and felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Seo-yun and Sooha. "Oh hey Y/n I thought my eyes were deceiving me" Yiren said rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing here in the first place?"Aisha asked.

"Oh I'm just- waiting for a friend ! That's all" She lied and voice cracked at the end. "Do you want us to wait with you?" Seo-yun asked her. "NOOO- I mean no, you guys can go on about your day, pretend you never saw me" She spoke quickly, trying to end the conversation. "Whatever you say Y/n... Just text us if they don’t come okay !" Seo-yun said while dragging Sooha away.

As soon as the two left, Gyuvin arrived with a tray of food. "I'm sorry if I took long, the line was super long" He apologized profusely. "It's okay Gyuvinnie I didn't wait long, let's eat now" She said while grabbing her utensils and handed the other set to Gyuvin.

"I saw Yiren and Aisha awhile ago." Y/n said and she noticed that Gyuvin tensed up. "Are they still here? What did they say?" He asked. "They just asked me what I was doing here, I said I was waiting for a friend and they just let me be after I told them to. I'm not sure whether or not their still here though" She replied back.

"Well, are you still comfortable with me holding your hand or hugging you?" He asked her. "I am fine with it still, I know physical affection is your whole thing and I don't wanna ruin that..." She replied back while she reached her hand out to hold his hand and she smiled at him.

“But I still want to be careful since I don’t know if they’re still here..." Y/n stated as she looked down. Gyuvin noticed her nervous state then brought his hands to her face then started to squish her cheeks. "Forget about them for today, this day is about us right?" He said to her with a smile.

She soon felt comforted seeing his smile and they both decided to go find games as soon as they finished eating. They walked around hand-in-hand in the park. The pair soon reached the area where the games are located.

Y/n saw a white stuffed bunny and ran towards that stall and waited in line. It was soon their turn to play and Y/n tried aiming the rifle at the bunny. She was unsuccessful in her 2 tries. Gyuvin offered to try for the last attempt and ended up winning her the plush.

After the employee handed it to them Y/n quickly hugged the bunny and wouldn't let go of it. "So what are you gonna name it?" He asked. "I'm gonna name him Vinie !" Y/n said after putting the bunny on top of her head. "why would you name it that though?" Gyuvin asked curiously. "Because the bunny reminds me of you."

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It soon turned night and the pair was exhausted after the long day of just going on rides, playing games and walking around. Before leaving they decided to go on the ferris wheel for last. As they enter the gondola everything went silent. Right before the gondolas reached the top, Gyuvin spoke up. “I love you, Y/n” He said while staring at her. Y/n was surprised by his sudden confession, nonetheless she replied. “I love you too Gyuvin”.

As she said that Gyuvin leaned forward then grabbed Y/n’s collar then pressed his lips against her’s. She felt butterflies in her stomach, She kissed back as their lips moved in sync. The kiss ended soon after since they realized the ride would end soon. Y/n was blushing furiously and was fidgeting with her fingers for the remainder of the ride.

When they got off Y/n was quiet the entire time. She was still in shock from the previous events, Gyuvin holding her hand brought her back from her thoughts. “Are you okay? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable” He said while rubbing his thumb over her hand. She looked back at him and spoke, “No it’s nothing I’m just- flustered? I guess...” He got what she was trying to say then hugged her for comfort.

“You wanna go?” “Can we take the train this time?” She asked him. “Yeah, I’m fine with anything as long as your here.”

-----------------

A week passed by and the start of their school year was nearing. Y//n decided to ask Gyuvin out on a date 2 weeks before school. They both met up in a cafe and ordered coffee and cinnamon rolls. They were both talking to each other and their coffee arrived soon after.“Did you hear about the new update they announced for genshin?” As Y/n brought up a conversation the bell on the cafe door chimed and she widened her eyes seeing who just walked through it.

“What the hell Y/n.” Seo-yun said while looking at Gyuvin and Y/n who intertwined their hands. “What are you doing.” Sooha spoke up and dragged the two to stand up. “We’re on a date. What else does it look like?” Gyuvin said with a snarky tone and tried hiding Y/n behind him. “Y/n after all that we told you... YOU STILL DATED THIS ASSHOLE?” Seo-yun yelled out grabbing Y/n’s wrist then dragging her out the cafe, Sooha tagging along and Gyuvin stayed in the cafe in shock.

“SEO-YUN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM” Y/n yelled out while Seo-yun released her wrist from her grasp.“MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOUR DATING GYUVIN”Seo-yun was furious. Anyone could tell and a few people on the street started looking in their direction “AND? I CAN DATE WHOEVER YOU WANT ITS MY LIFE” Y/n replied back. “NOT IF THAT PERSON YOUR DATING IS MY CRUSH” Seo-yun’s reply confused Y/n “What? What do you mean” She said. “I MADE UP ALL THOSE THINGS ABOUT HIM SO YOU CAN STAY AWAY BUT NO- YOU STILL DECIDED TO WHORE YOURSELF OUT TO HIM” Seo-yun yelled out while approaching Y/n. “

I DIDNT EVEN TALK TO HIM FIRST, HE APPROACHED ME SO WHAT? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST INSULT ME LIKE THAT” “I WOULDNT HAVE INSULTED YOU IF YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM ALREADY” The air around them was starting to get heated, some of the bystanders left, realizing it was a personal matter.

“I- I thought we were friends” Y/n’s voice started to die down as her vision got clouded with tears. “WE ARE ITS JUST THAT YOU DECIDED TO GO FOR SOMEONE I HAD A CRUSH ON. NOW BREAK UP WITH HIM OR OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER.” Seo-yun yelled out one final time before turning her back on her and leaving along with Sooha.

---------------------

As soon as Y/n got home she burst out in tears. She went straight to her room then cried more into her pillow. She soon fell asleep for a few hours. She woke up and got her phone and texted Gyuvin.

She heard her phone ring then declined the call. She went to message her friends that she already broke up with him. Y/n started to regret her decision but she knew it was too late to take it back. Seo-yun and Sooha were her only friends and they’ve been really close since childhood and she didn’t wanna ruin her friendship because Seo-yun had a crush on her now ex-boyfriend.

--------------------

It was the start of the school year and Y/n was classmates with Seo-yun and Sooha again. Everything went smoothly in their friendship after the breakup but deep down Y/n still knew she liked Gyuvin, but she didn’t want Seo-yun to get mad at her.

As she was talking in the classroom with Seo-yun and Sooha she noticed Gyuvin staring at her from the corner of her eye.

The bell rang and the trio went to their respective seats. Their classes ended quicker that they thought and Y/n was spacing out after the bell rang and was left sitting at her seat.

“Y/nnn Are you coming??” Sooha said, breaking Y/n out of her trance. The 3 soon went to the cafeteria and while they were eating all Y/n could think of was Gyuvin. She missed him. She regrets breaking up with him but she doesn’t wanna lose her life-long friend either.

Y/n soon felt a tap on her shoulder, She looked back and saw Gyuvin. “We need to talk. Now.” He said while grabbing her shoulder and taking her to an empty classroom. “Uhm Hi?” She said out of nervousness and confusion. “Why did you break up with me” Gyuvin asked while unintentionally pinning her against the wall by her shoulders.

“I- I just fell out of love you know” Y/n tried lying her way out of this, She feels like she can’t hold her tears anymore. “You’re lying.” He replied back firmly. “It’s true” She said while trying not to let the tears spill out but it was unsuccessful. She ended up letting it all out. “Stop lying already” “I- I’m not” She tried to stop her hiccups from being to obvious but her efforts were futile.

“If you weren’t lying then you wouldn’t be crying right now” He said while bringing her in for a hug. Oh how Y/n missed this, she felt like she could melt right now but she still had to remember. They aren’t even together anymore.

“I still love you but we just- can’t be together” Y/n said trying not to break down. “And why not? Is this because of your friends?” He asked her patting her back while trying not to cry also. “It’s not! We just aren’t meant to be together.” She said. “We both still clearly love each other, you’re just torturing me at this point, there’s nothing stopping us from being together” Gyuvin said slowly losing his calm composure. “I love you, but I just can’t be with you. You deserve better, like Seo-yun or something” She spoke, she backed up and went to reach for the door but then she looked back and saw Gyuvin’s tear stricken face.

“But if you love me then why did you leave?”

#zb1 x reader #kim gyuvin #gyuvin x reader #gyuvin fluff #zb1 imagines #zerobaseone #zb1 gyuvin #gyuvin boys planet #zb1 fics #zb1 oneshots #zb1 angst

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silviakundera · 1 year ago

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Lighter and Princess thoughts during the ep 16-20 era and Fang Zhijing

I'd like to think their history would be kinder if FL would have explained to Gao WHY she was freaking out about Fang Zhijing and the deeper reason to take vengenace on him.

I do understand why she doesn't, in a way. It's her dead friend's private matter, who would not want other people to know. Her bestie xx'd out over teen social bullying (sadly, blasting teen fake 'scandals' online & kids getting ganged up on happens in many counties, I WISH it was just a regional problem). So I get why FL doesn't want to share this.

The very dark truth is that if this got brought up again, there's no guarantee that it wouldn't get spun around again by people who would criticize her friend's choices, say she overreacted, & debate wrong and right. FL doesn't want her friend's suffering to be debated at all. And I bet some part of her fears that Gao won't empathize with her dead friend, because she senses that he has ambitions and insecurities that have more in common with Fang Zhijing than the victim. Even if he doesn't say it out loud.... I bet she worries deep down that Gao would be THINKING these things and sensing that from him will destroy their friendship.

But because she doesn't explain, he doesn't have the context for her and Li Xun's actions.

Also: ML Li Xun thinks he's become very jaded in life, but his youth shows here. Making an enemy like that with such strong industry connections, a network like that at 20, 21? ... Li Xun has 3 options: (1) leave software, (2) sell-out & make that network replace him with you, or (3) take actions to absolutely nuke this guy's profile in IT until it he's untouchable. It's not cynical enough to think that he can just strut away from this and succeed on his own merits - especially since he's pursuing a passion project that isn't in a high profit sector. Real life isn't like those soap operas BUT ngl there are a lil selection of people in business who seem to believe they're on Gossip Girl and act like the scheming eunuch in a palace drama. They are to be avoided at all costs. Do Not Disturb.

It's really not worth mentioning Gao putting the responsibility and blame on his frenemy instead of all on the shameless cheater. No point. I feel like he's tottering on the line, in & out. Who does he want to be? He's repulsed by the Fang Zhijings of the world but part of that repulsion is sick envy.

#cdrama #lighter and princess #lp spoilers

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colonyorats · 6 months ago

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So, all credit to my very close friend @silly-boi-broski for reminding me of this song because I need to write a whole entire other post about my relationship with this song and how I kept thinking about it and how well it fits with both my life and probably my favorite book, Hell Followed with Us.

*Deep breath*

I grew up in a very very religious household (I still live in one). My dad's a pastor, my mom works with the youth groups, and I was heavily involved from day one. I was taught to "Love thy neighbour" and that everyone deserved a chance at heaven, that Jesus loves everyone no matter what but at the same time I watched as the very same people would turn around and chase the teen mom out of church or shun the kid who came out as queer and whatever other bullshit things they did.

I remember people at my church saying the most racist and terrible shit ever, like, the kind of things people say on Twitter nowadays but in real life infront of the Pastor and his literal child.

Then, we moved somwhere else and I got sent to a private school up until 5th grade and saw the hate the teachers spread and how a bunch of people bullied this one kid because he was of color and all the rest of us where white and it was so bad that he had to be transferred to a different school the next year because of it but I didn't understand it at the time and he was my best friend so I was so fucking confused.

Same thing happened to a kid in a wheelchair, and, while it wasn't as bad for me, I was, and still kinda am, the fat kid so that made it suck on my part since I heard comments from adults saying things to my mom like "She'd be so much more beautiful if she lost a few more pounds" which, hello??? That's a fucking terrible thing to say about a literal 10 year old child.

That was about the same time I started questioning if any of it was really real and I had a huge drop in my mental health and personally went through hell and back during a bunch of personal stuff I won't get into right now, but involved a lot of questioning my identity and shit and a lot of family drama.

That's when sometime during 2022 my friend (also @silly-boi-broski) suggested me a book called Hell Followed with Us because he was going through some similar stuff. I was skeptical at fist but then I read it and was blown away that someone was writing about similar feelings I had.

The rage and justice I felt while reading it almost broke me because I had grown up in an environment, while not as literally deadly as Benji, was so similar to it that I freaked out and had to put the book down at times. I finally finished it and I felt so seen and understood that I couldn't not want to talk and ramble about it and now I've reread it more times than I can count and everytime it makes me feel so understood.

Fuck, then I remembered the song he sent me and hearing that for the first time made me feel all the same things I did when reading HFWU and it just shocks me.

While I don't align myself with the church in any way, I think I still believe. Kind of like how Faith said it in the book, "I do, actually. And I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about that. Talking to friends--you know, Sadaf is Muslim, Salvador is Catholic, Carly is Jewish--to see if anything clicks. Or if I'm just going to have to deal with believing in the same kind of God those motherfuckers do... I guess what I'm saying is, I believe in something, and I don't know what to do with it, and maybe, I don't actually believe in anything at all, and I just want to because I hate the idea of Trevor being faced with nothing." (-page 55 of the US edition paperback of HFWU)

This is already so long so I'll stop but I still have so much to say about this book and this song but I'll save that for another day.

Here's the song I was talking about btw

youtube

#andrew joseph white #hell followed with us #mikey speaks #long post #transgender #transmasc #religious trauma #religion #the exorcist #calypso #religious imagery #tw religious themes #Youtube

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rileytwenty · 2 years ago

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Leyra || the Albino Na'vi

(Neteyam x OC)

MASTERLIST/PLAYLIST/PICS

Chapter 1

Out in the forest, it was too easy to pretend that everything was perfect. Within the Nantangs' calls and the Ritis' chirping and the Pa'lis stamping about, peace was not hard to find.

Leyra could forget about her life in the village for a few fleeting seconds here and there. But then the little reminders, such as her particularly makeshift bow, or her ratty clothes, or her unusual white skin, would send her crashing back into her reality like a tidal wave.

Said reality included spending most of her days alone, with trees for friends and bugs for company. Her father, the only clan member who would willingly converse with her, spent all his days hunting or planning hunts as Jake Sully's--the Omatikaya Olo'ektan's--second in command.

Sometimes she liked her father's position. She'd get a heads up on where not to go to avoid the hunting parties and training sessions, and he'd occasionally come home with interesting drama for her regarding the other clan members.

Her mother had died on the frontlines of the Battle of the Tree of Souls. She had been an amazing warrior, well-renowned in the clan. Leyra's father won't say it outright, but her mother had been devastated when she was born. A perfect warrior giving birth to an albino freak show. She didn't have to live with the shame for long, as she died only one month after Leyra had been born.

Her father had been an amazing parent to her, supporting her and taking care of her the best that he could under Mo'at's rules. He brought her portions of the meals to eat separate from the clan so she could avoid the stares and whispers that still occurred even though she was bordering on seventeen.

Over time, the forest had become her safe space where she spent most of her time, despite the amount of times it had almost killed her. Though, she had learned a lot through experience and developed her own way of surviving in it.

Currently, she was perched in a tree beside some harmless little birds and was watching the Pa'li stampede around and drink nectar.

The sound of twigs snapping caught both her attention and that of the Pa'li. Another crunch had the horse-like creatures herding themselves away from the source of the sound. Leyra leaned back to look around the tree and see what animal had made the sound, only to find a young Na'vi boy stumbling his way through the underbrush.

He must be lost, she thought. Hopping down from the tree soundlessly, she approached the young boy.

"Hello," she spoke softly, startling the boy only a bit. "My name is Leyra," she flicked her finger away from her face in Na'vi greeting, "are you lost?"

Unbeknownst to them both, Neteyam had already spotted them, but kept his distance as he was surprised to see such a different-looking Na'vi teen.

The little boy returned the gesture sheepishly and muttered a, "yes, very."

She let out a small giggle at his honesty. "What were you doing out this far in the forest in the first place?"

"Neteyam agreed to take us kids out to see the hunters train, but I got distracted by a bug and was separated."

"Ah, I see. Would you like me to take you back to the village or to the training grounds?"

"You know the way?" He was bewildered. Leyra found it refreshing to speak to someone who had no hatred or pity or really any opinion of her at all.

"Yes, of course I do. I am not lost at all, I never am."

"Wow. But how? The forest all looks the same everywhere!"

"There are differences. I can teach you once you're older, if you want. That way, you'll never get lost again."

"Yes, please! Umm, could you take me back to the village? I sure would like to see my mom."

"Of course. It's this way, let's go."

The kid grabbed her hand, and it startled her. No one had made skin to skin contact with her in a long time. She tried to play it off and gripped his hand in return, which made him smile at her. It all but melted her fragile heart.

"There you are, Zi'um!" Neteyam finally emerged from the brush, a serious look on his face meant to scold the boy.

"Neteyam!" The boy leapt into the future Olo'ektan's arms. Neteyam chuckled, picking him up and holding the youngster over his hip.

Once the boy had comfortably settled, Neteyam's focus drifted to Leyra. He kept asking himself, since when had there been a white Na'vi in the clan? Had he really been so busy as to not notice such an extraordinary being? "Hello."

His presence was making her sweat. Her father always told her to avoid unnecessary attention, and here the future Olo'ektan was, trying to hold a conversation with her. "Hello, Neteyam."

Her voice was softer and nicer than he had been expecting from such an unusual creature. "Do I know you?"

"Oh, uh, no. I don't think you would. I just know of you, with you being the up-and-coming Olo'ektan and all."

He cursed himself for assuming they had met before and making things awkward for her. He had forgotten that his name was a well-known one. "Oh, right, yes. I think I would have remembered someone who looks like you."

A light blush tinted her cheeks in embarrassment and she looked down. Even the Olo'ektan's son was making fun of her. There really was no end to it all.

Neteyam took her blush to mean that his half-flirting attempt at pointing out her Eywa-given beauty had worked, and that she was flustered by his charm. He was, on this rare occasion, very wrong.

"Walk with us back to the village?"

Leyra was puzzled by him offering this after he had just insulted her, but she knew better than to try to disobey him. "Alright."

The three started off towards the mountain village entrance. Neteyam shushed at Zi'um, who was now whimpering about seeing his mother and apologizing for wandering off. Neteyam reassured him on both accounts.

Leyra enjoyed getting to see the soft interaction between them. People usually reserved their worst selves for when she was near.

Not long into the journey, the emotionally exhausted child fell asleep in the warrior's arms.

"What were you doing out in the forest, all alone?" Neteyam questioned her in a whisper once he was sure Zi'um was going to stay asleep.

"Oh, I-" she wasn't sure of what response he was expecting, "I was exploring, like usual."

"So, you spend a lot of your time in the forest, then?"

Yes, her father dropped her off to the forest floor on his ikran each morning after breakfast and picked her up each evening in time for dinner. "Yes, practically every day. I like having only the forest for company."

Neteyam hummed, intrigued by her response. In his eyes, the forest was a beautiful ecosystem best watched from afar. Too many dangers lurked just beyond one's line of vision. It was definitely a great circle, one that he was a part of, and it provided the clan with shelter and food. Though, he much preferred to look down on it from his ikran rather than from on the ground.

Leyra resisted the urge to ask him what exactly his indistinct hum had meant. Silence fell over the pair, and Leyra savored the adorably relaxed expression on the young boy's sleeping face.

She was smiling at the boy's face when Neteyam turned to look at her, wondering what she was thinking about in the silence. She averted her eyes upon making eye contact with him, the smile quickly fading.

Though, not before Neteyam saw it. And he decided he liked her smile.

They continued until they reached the bottom of the cave entrance and Neteyam called for his ikran to take himself and the boy up to basecamp.

As he mounted himself and Zi'um onto the animal, he opened his mouth to say something to Leyra, but nothing came out.

He didn't want her to walk off again and continue being alone in the forest. He knew firsthand how dangerous that was. Though, he could tell by her slightly turned away body that she had no interest in returning to the base with them.

"Be safe," he settled on, accompanied by a sturdy nod.

She smiled at him, but it wasn't like the smile he had gotten a glimpse of before. This was polite, obligatory.

"You too, Neteyam."

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