#and is this perhaps me trying to spread my nonbinary Jeremy hc thru misdirection and propaganda?

[t-w-i-l-l-e-r]

So. The whole reason Jeremy got a SQUIP was to become “the ideal boy”, right? A Manly Man, A Cool Guy, The Hero, Testosterone, Muscles, Gigachad, Getting Bitches, Alpha Male, etc etc. The entirety of More Than Survive is him denying this desire while also VERY MUCH EXPRESSING THIS DESIRE (ur repression isn’t fooling anyone hun). Jake is the prime example of this goal actually fulfilled; he’s well-liked, charismatic, aggressive, go-getting, mew streak 1000000, abs of steel, MANLY. Jake’s everything Jeremy wants to be, everything he thinks he needs to be to ~get with Christine~ and ~have all the friends~ and all the other shit he sets as the squip’s directive instead of the real thing he needs (therapy. And actually maybe some more friends wouldn’t hurt). 

So it makes sense the squip is always trying to get him to resemble Jake, right? It molds Jeremy into that MYSTERIOUS MANLY MAN who WALKS WITH SWAGGER and SHOWS UP FASHIONABLY LATE and ONLY TALKS ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS WHEN ITS CONVENIENT and TREATS WOMEN LIKE DOGSHIT and CONNECTS WITH BLUETOOTH COMPATIBLE DEVICES. Y’know, guy stuff! But what’s fascinating to me is that when Jeremy is left to his own (Bluetooth incompatible) devices, he doesnt imitate the popular boys. He imitates the popular girls. 

When Jake is upset (such as when he thinks Jeremy is “having sex in his parents bed” which is SO CRAZY and he is SO CRAZY for saying that and I have FEELINGS ABOUT IT but one thing at a time), he gets violent. Yelling, threatening Jeremy, destroying shit—the whole shebang. But when Chloe is upset or defensive, she gets petty. She interrupts Jenna, belittles Christine, betrays Brooke, and insults Jeremy. Neither of these reactions are surprising, especially to an audience expected to be familiar with teen drama stories. As a boy, Jake would be socialized to express his anger through physical aggression. As a girl, Chloe would be socialized to express her anger through relational aggression. And as the Most Boy and Most Girl in the entire show, it tracks that they’d follow these expectations down to the letter. 

But Jeremy isn’t the Most Boy or Most Girl. He doesn’t know what the fuck he is, which is made abundantly clear by the, uh, everything about him. Everything including the fact that when Jeremy feels angry, he reacts much more like Chloe would than Jake. If Michael tried to block Jake from leaving the bathroom, Jake would probably have just shoved him out of the way, or at least threatened to (provided Jake couldn’t talk Michael down first, because Jake doesn't seem particularly prone to violence outside of—wow I should just make a seperate Jake post hes a freak I want to study him under a microscope). If Michael blocked Chloe from leaving the bathroom, she would insult him until he was demoralized enough to go with what she wanted without force. Which is exactly what Jeremy does to Michael, and later to Mr. Heere. In these moments, Jeremy is still trying to embody that “cool guy” image, but he doesn’t have the SQUIP’s gendered guidance. He’s going with his gut, and it’s becoming abundantly clear to the audience that this whole “manly man” thing isn’t what Jeremy really even wants (I mean, he turned down sex from a hot girl just a scene prior! He’s willingly failing at Mission Get Bitches!!! That’s like, mission one!!!!!!!). He just wants to… not feel shitty all the time. 

And what’s interesting to me though is that while the SQUIP is out of the picture for the bathroom scene, it’s on and active for Jeremy’s confrontation with his dad. When Mr. Heere stops Jeremy from leaving, the SQUIP originally tries to brush him off. However, it tells Jeremy to stop and engage with him a lil bit, actually. Tell him what’s going on, Jeremy, be honest. And that’s where we get that second example of Jeremy more closely imitating The Mean Girl than The Cool Guy. So, like, that’s confusing, right? The SQUIP has been directing him to avoid any perceived femininity (literally one of their first interactions is it questioning/berating him for picking a “girls shirt”) so why would it lean so hard into this more feminine version of aggression when it could just tell Jeremy to, idk, punch Mr. Heere in the face ig? Well, on one hand I think it realizes that actual violence would probably make this conflict more trouble than it’s worth but on the other I think it’s a rly intentional power play on the SQUIP’s part. It’s directions are intentionally vague: “stop”, “tell him the truth”, “smth else vague” idk I don’t remember the scene exactly I’m too lazy to pull up the slime tutorial. The point is that we have seen the SQUIP feeding Jeremy lines like a teleprompter the entire show, literally saying “repeat after me” in its first big Social Interaction Test in bmc p1. I think it’s prompts being so open-ended is a way for it to sweeten the pot for Jerry a lil bit, considering everything that’s about to happen in “The Play” is gonna be so fucking crazy. I don’t think the SQUIP expected Jeremy to turn on it, but it knew it was asking a lot of Jeremy and he was hesitant. Being vague gave Jeremy just the right amount of control that he could say every single thing that he’s wanted to say to his father since the very first scene while still letting the SQUIP take all the credit. It’s oh-so-generously allowing Jeremy to take the reins to show that “see! Before me you could hardly hold a conversation with ur dad and now ur telling him to fuck off TO HIS FACE!! See how not shitty I make you feel?? See how powerful I make you feel?” It’s willing to break with Jeremy’s Cool Guy objective to further its own obsession with spreading the SQUIPs as far as possible, displaying how separate its goals are from Jeremy’s at this point. Jeremy doesn’t want this, anymore. 

And then “The Play” happens and everything’s shit til it actually gets pretty not shit and then actually actually gets pretty awesome until at the end Jeremy is wearing Hello Kitty shoes and telling his dad he loves him and having friends (!!!!!) doing all the GIRLY BETA CUCK stuff he rejected b4 n maybe some of the MANLY GUY STUFF too bc what the fuck does it actually matter, real talk? Like, who even cares? And maybe, just maybe, feeling not only not shitty but Genuinely Actually Okay for the first time ever. Yay! 

So. Um. Yeah. Idk what any of this means, rly. It’s just smth I thunk up recently and couldn’t get out of my head. Jeremy (affectionate).