#like she has no idea who this mf kidnapping her is and when she says “who are you where is the voice” he's just like ��

[opera-ghost]

it's immensely funny to me how andrew lloyd webber read this passage from the book and was like yeah the journey down to the phantom's lair is this really breathtaking magical gondola ride where christine is just captivated by the strange and fantastical beauty of it all (see below)

when in the novel they're both like in a rowboat in the dark with christine scared out of her mind and confused as hell while erik is paddling like he's out for an extreme day of fishing and just staring christine down for the entire duration of the journey without blinking once . like mind you his eyes quite literally GLOW in the DARK and he's just fucking staring into her soul and silently rowing and probably not even breathing like

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

I've stumbled upon your staticradiodad au and I'm in LOVE. If I'm allowed to ask, what were Alastor and Vox's reaction to being called dad? I imagine Vox is shocked and maybe cries. I can can see Alastor maybe shrugging it off, but later in an office or something going "....Fuck." bc holy shit is he getting attached now?

Alastor never expected it, but in hindsight it wasnt much of a surprise either. He's essentially a glorified babysitter for Lilith in the beginning, although after a while it did start to feel like Charlie spent more time with him than her own mother, especially when Lilith would go off and do who knows what for days or weeks at a time. Still, Charlie did have a father already, and though it seemed recently she'd stopped talking about him so much (for a long time she'd kept asking where he was, when she could see him again, Alastor didn't know the answer) it wasn't fair for him to assume that he'd be a replacement, no matter how much he'd grown to care about her. When it finally happened, Alastor stared at her for a few seconds expecting it to be a slip of the tongue, but there Charlie was, holding a drawing in her hand out to Alastor after saying it to get his attention. He stayed calm for her sake, but it hit him like a truck later how much responsibility this actually was now. The anger at Lucifer developed over the years, because if he wasn't going to be around then you better believe Alastor was going to be the best goddamn parent. He wouldn't let Charlie grow up with the same type of childhood he did

Vox was never supposed to get involved- He knew that full well. He'd only "kidnapped" Charlie the one time to get Alastor's attention for a conversation, and while it was worth it even when Alastor tore him a new one afterwards, the last thing either of them expected was for Charlie to ask when she could come back as they were leaving. So this back and forth continued, Vox had a certain time when he'd "steal" Charlie away to spend the day with her, usually conveniently at a time when Alastor had other tasks to be done that Charlie wasn't allowed to witness, and Alastor would "rescue" her at the end of the day. It made her happy, and if she was happy Alastor was happy, and that was a good tradeoff, plus she was a good kid and its not like Vox minded being around her. Charlie was a smart child, and the reason she first called Vox 'Dad' was the assumption that well, he and Alastor seemed to be so close and Alastor is her dad, so Vox must be too, right? Vox calls Alastor in a mf panic because he has no idea what to do or how to respond at first. Alastor has a talk with her later that night but Charlie had already made up her mind, and if her dads aren't already getting married they will be soon, she's determined to make it happen

That was a lot of words

[inkdemon-whore]

like to think no one in the cycle knows why the ink demon is making all these kids, or they just have no idea the proto-audreys or fave exist at all.

maybe some who've seen will have some vague memory, or hell, maybe the cycle has stopped, been paused, or just prolonged to make room for audrey, and only ever restarts at the ink demons choosing when he's ready to make a new one. and if he does do that, it probably throws everyone off their rhythm. henry could be dealing with alice, and because bendy got a corps back after sending a proto out, he eats it, and the easiest way to quickly reclaim that energy is to watch "the end" again, starting the cycle over with himself whole again.

and mf sends henry right back to the beginning, probably with items he shouldn't have, maybe with really jumbled up memories.

no one's really fully aware that the cycle is being purposely messed with, other than really hard dejavu, and no one sees any of the protos, or if they do, they don't remember, as the ink demon would typically keep them in his throne room.

fave tho, he starts taking out (maybe he took a few out before this, just to test the waters), and maybe in return isn't too active himself. he might not reach out to grab henry at the start of the game, because he's busy keeping fave out of trouble. leaving henry to just be uneasy and try to leave, only to then proceed to chapter two like that uncomfortable silence was part of everything.

bendy and fave playing hide and seek at heavenly toys, probably being the first time henry sees her, and bendy chasing henry down for accidentally kidnapping the demons daughter, thinking he's protecting her from him. the ink demon being active while henry looks for hearts for alice, with him trying to baby sit who he thinks is a child in grave danger, who just wants her daddy, and to go home as much as he does. he ask around, and no one else really comments, or they get killed before they can say what they think, but mostly everyone has no idea who this girl is, where she came from, or why she's there.

maybe the ink demon would straight up hide fave in vents or miracle stations to try and keep her out of sight in areas where he's stalking henry or anyone else.

or he just straight up seems calmer, not stalking henry at all, and leaving everyone who feared it confused, and maybe even more terrified as to where the hell it's at, sparking paranoia.

just--

sammy trying to summon bendy, and he gets fuckin NOTHING. no attack, none him coming from the wall, just absolute jack unless fave steps in, going "shhh, don't tell my daddy i'm helping you." and untying henry before sammy walks out n just... "WHO THE HELL IS THAT CHILD???"

[erikiara80]

Why was Will ignored in S3-S4 if he’s so important

EDIT:  Actually, I changed my mind. Now I believe that in S4 Henry didn’t ignore Will at all. At the end of the season I believe he’s already in a trance. From the moment he touches his neck! Read this and also other people’s posts about it. It would be an incredible plot twist to end S4 and start S5 (here)

People often ask me this. Yes, in S3 the MF seemed not to care, or even know about the connection with Will. It was only after El’s powers and wanted to kill her. And in S4 Henry gave Nancy a message for El but never mentioned Will, others did.

But wasn’t El ignored in S1 and S2? We know that in 1983 Henry was waiting for her to open a gate. But when she did, the Demogorgon never tried to kill her. Even if that theory I read was true, that the monster was chasing her in the woods when it saw Will and decided to follow him, it never did it again.

And in S2, she had been living isolated in a cabin in the woods for months, while the vines were spreading in the tunnels, and there were dozens of demodogs. But none of them ever tried to go to Hopper’s cabin and kill her in her sleep. 

So to me it’s not strange that Will was ignored. Once again, he and El parallel each other. 

She was ignored in S1-S2, he was ignored in S3-S4. In S5, Will and El will finally fight together.

So yeah, this could also mean that in S5 it’s Will who uses his connection with the MF/Henry to find a way to destroy the spores and defeat Vecna, like El did in S4. And that nobody tries to kidnap him again. We’ll see. But I’d say that, if it’s true that he shaped the UD the very moment he arrived there, just like Henry shaped the MF... I think the MF or Henry, or both, would try to get him. Seems a big power. Unless they already stole it off-screen in S1. We ’ll see!

No matter what happens, we know for sure that Will is the main focus of S5. He has many parallels with Henry they will explore after they explored the ones with El. He’ll be “central in a post-apocalyptic environment”. We will see the beginning of his coming of age. The Duffers said they wrote the plot of S5 using many big ideas they couldn’t include in S2, the season where Will was the target and the main focus of the story. And we know that the reason the UD is apparently stuck on the day he went missing is the key plot point of the last season of Stranger Things. 

I’m sure S5 is gonna be amazing.

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈 𝚂𝙸𝙼𝚂;

quick note;

hi hi hi!! it’s been a while guys! posting some drafts i wrote when i was taking a break <3 this is just how the boys play sims :)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » plays very... responsibility?? no cheats, (he has no idea how to use them) literally gives them no time for hobbies, he’s focused on their needs to even consider hobbies + he stresses about the bills 

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » spends plenty of time downloading cc and customizing his sims to perfection. even spends hours on end just creating perfect little houses. goes through the 5 stages of grief after one of his sims die

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » two words; pure panic. he has so many needs to look after! and has anyone fed the dog?? and has anyone paid the bills for the water?? why is there suddenly a fire every two seconds?!?! deletes the game after an hour of pure stress

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » downloads whicked-whims out of curiosity. regrets it almost immediately, so he tried to take it out of his game and somehow, he took out the wrong files and now all of his sims only have one leg and green skin

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » pulls the tiddy bar in CAS all the way up and you can’t convince me otherwise. besides making super hot girls in CAS, noya just fucks around with all the weird debugs and settings + desperately tries to look under the blankets during woohoo 

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » gets so unbelievably frustrated at his sims, to the point where he just starts yelling at them. “didn’t i just feed you, tanisha? don’t be greedy, YOU GET WHAT YOUR GIVEN!” in some ways, i feel so sorry for his sims 

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » surprisingly, very invested in the game! he’s become a master of all cheats and truly enjoys the mechanical aspect of the game. he even has all the expansion packs and everything!

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » despises the game. he thinks it’s some sort of sadistic fuel for people with god complexes. refuses to play until you mention you can drown people in the game. who’s the real sadist here, kei?

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » downloads so many mods and cc until his laptop is literally about to explode. likes to explore the hidden secrets of the game (plant-sims, rabbit holes, ect...) 

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » makes a mini-sim version of himself and uses cheats throughout the entire game. no one is going to ruin a mini pixel fantasy of himself, not even the cheap ass grill that manages to set everyone on fire every two seconds

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » religiously does not believe in cheats. he would casually brag to everyone that he managed to finish 3 aspirations on one sim with no cheats but disregards the fact that all his sims are broke and starving 90% of the time

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » non-committal to all of his households. starts a new one every hour and gets bored of it within the first 5 minutes. he lowkey feels bad for the sims that he’s abandoned and checks up on them once in a while so he won’t feel guilty for leaving them

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 »  “so... how do you win?” “you can’t really win, it’s a-” “then WHY ARE WE PLAYING??” the whole concept confuses him, he just ends up speeding up time the entire game until suddenly all his sims are dead. he has the audacity to be shocked 

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » the type to get the “cats & dogs” pack and only focus on the animal. like he’ll forget to feed his sim but gets a panic attack every time he can’t find his cat

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » no.

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » success is his main priority in this game. he’ll make his sims as rich as possible and even make his sims work endless hours using the “no sleep” mod! also won’t let them take showers or eat until their work is done! it’s a little worrying!!

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » tries to finish the 100 baby challenge like 10 times but always fails miserably. even uses cheats and still manages to fuck up?? calls the game a waste of money on reddit and starts a hate page

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » tries to always create the most picture-perfect white-picket fence family but something always manages to get in the way. whether it be an unaccounted grill fire or the baby getting taken away, he always ends up on the verge of crying and starting a new save

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » always wants the biggest and most expansive family there is. would get mccommand center just so he could fit his family of 47 into one 20 x 20 lot. not to mention, he always has like 8 other apps running in the background so unsurprisingly, he has alot of random burns from his explosive laptop 

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » the most perfect way you could play the sims, probably the way the creators intended. goes from rags to riches using no cheats, no sudden deaths and no negative moodlets. hmm... a little too perfectly played, wouldn’t you say?

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » refuses to play because of the conspiracies he read about on reddit. he genuinely thinks the sims is just a warning from the government that we’re all in a simulation and that there’s reptiles controlling all of us until we all jus- you know what, no more reddit for you konaha

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » total dumbass. wouldn’t be surprised if all of his sims just died as soon as he loaded up the game. wouldn’t even bother with cc or cas, he would just play either with the premade sims or just randomize everything.

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » utter chaos. primarily drug mods, constantly developing and making bank from his drug businesses. would have half his sims take an entire bottle of MDMA and then wonder why they died?? like yes tendou, sims (just like you!) can overdose!! shocker, isn’t it? 

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 »  strives on his house-building and designing skills. like this mf can speed-build mansions but he can’t figure out how to download cc. doesn’t even actually play the sims, just designs houses and then dips

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » very attentive to their needs bar. like the second his sim’s bladder bar goes down, he’s rage-clicking on the toilet + “hurry sylvia, piss! i don’t want a repeat of last time!!”

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸��𝙰 » downloads the hoe-it up mod as a joke and then continues to become very invested in his strips clubs! the downtown fountain club isn’t doing too well? it’s okay, he’ll just make jessica do 30 lap dances until she gets her 1 minute break to eat, piss, shower and sleep!

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » takes the game a little uh... too seriously? will literally get out pen and paper to calculate his expenses, taxes and his water bill. + “no margret, you can’t shower today because then we won’t have enough money to pay the electric bill” poor margret.

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » finds out what cc is, spends 3 days just downloading cc and then continues to play non-stop for a whole week. then, he won’t touch the game for another 6 months until he remembers about it again. rise and repeat, like a true simmer

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » loves making drama! he’ll create marriages just to destroy them, make all the spouses cheat on each other and then kidnap their children for ransom until the parents go crazy and kill themselves. a true menace to society

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » would burn down his house making grilled cheese and would never play again

[incorrectgreekgods]

My Friend’s Opinions On Various Greek Gods From Greek Mythology

Let me preface this by saying- I’m the one into mythology. My friends are going off of a two month unit three years ago and whatever mythology they’ve read/absorbed from modern media. None of this is taken to be offensive, and it is all based off of Ancient Greek Mythology and not hellenic polytheism. 

Now! Here are five of my friend’s impressions:

Isadora

Zeus - whore Poseidon - water Hades - meanie Persephone - gets caught by meanie Demeter - no fuckign idea Hera - i think she's a mommy? Hestia - also no fucking idea Athena - big brains Hermes - hehe that's my bestie Apollo - golden hourrrr Artemis - baddie asf Hephaestus - big muscle blacksmith Aphrodite - pretty Ares - meanier meanie Dionysus - naked drunkard

Santana

Zeus - needs to keep it in his pants Poseidon - water guy Hades - vibes=immaculate minus him being like a killer Persephone - she’s chill funny Demeter - idk this man Hera - a little jelly of her mans but she’s chill Hestia - idk this girl Athena - thriving Hermes - speedy man with funny shoes Apollo - bow and arrow guy i think Artemis - baddie Hephaestus - who is this man Aphrodite - pretty one i think Ares - needs anger management Dionysus - drunk uncle

Sasha (who popped off???)

Zeus ⁃god sky, lightning, etc. ⁃sleeps with literally anything that breathes ⁃Terrible husband to Hera but they somehow make it work ⁃Last son to be barfed up by Kronos ⁃Leader of the gods (but like super bad at his job because the gods are always fighting?)

Poseidon ⁃Water ⁃Likes his angry, drunk cyclops children ⁃Sleeps with a lot of things too but is overshadowed by Zeus

Hades ⁃Death ⁃Hella depressed ⁃Honestly a pretty chill dude until her abducts women ⁃Husband to persephone ⁃The third wheel of him, Zeus, and Poseidon

Persephone ⁃Purple, flowers ⁃Demeter’s daughter ⁃Hot as fuck ⁃Pretty chill after being kidnapped ⁃Married Hades - lil bit of a shady situation but whatever they seem happy

Demeter ⁃Agriculture, growing ⁃Carries a scythe around and honestly that’s so badass ⁃“What sort of women doesn’t have an axe?” vibes ⁃idk what else I mean got super mad when her daughter was abducted but Id be concerned if she wasn’t

Hera ⁃Marriage, family ⁃Kinda ironic seeing as her husband is cheating on her 24/7 ⁃But also their marriage has stayed together so maybe she does have the secret to making a successful partnership ⁃Anyways she is jealous of zeus ⁃OH also she turns the lovers of his she catches into animals which sucks for the lovers but DAMN I love her

Hestia ⁃hearth, home ⁃SO sweet ⁃Nobody on Olympus deserves her ⁃Poseidon tried to marry her which in my opinion was a terrible idea

Athena ⁃Wisdom, strategy, cunning, war ⁃Thriving hard ⁃Big brain moment ⁃Um owl? ⁃Makes fun of other gods while they make fun of her but she always wins

Hermes ⁃Traveling, messages (LMAO originally I wrote massages and now I can totally see it) ⁃Sneaky little shit ⁃Has little shoes with wings and two snakes ⁃Makes stupid mistakes but manages to get out of punishment ⁃Gay ⁃Gay for Apollo  

Apollo ⁃Sun, music, arts ⁃Muses (I think he’s slept with all of them right?) ⁃Would 100% be the most followed person on Insta just for his golden hour shots ⁃Pan ⁃Gay for Hermes

Artemis ⁃Hunting, forrest, femininity ⁃Fucking awesome ⁃Sleeps with all her huntresses but it just hits different than Zeus ⁃Bow and arrow and other cool stuff to kill people  

Hephaestus ⁃Forge, metal work, armory, blacksmith ⁃Chucked from mount Olympus when he was a baby ⁃Serious daddy and mommy issues ⁃Loves Aphrodite but she is just not on the same level

Aphrodite ⁃Love, beauty ⁃Doesn’t seem to give two shits about anyone but she’s honestly thriving ⁃She and ares are in a thing but she’s definitely owning that relationship

Ares ⁃War ⁃Stupid? idk he seems to loose every war he starts ⁃Loves of Aphrodite but he knows he’s about to lose her

Dionysus ⁃Drunk all the time ⁃Um I literally have no idea what he does other than party and get drunk ⁃Respect for his lack of goals in life

Emily

Zeus - wanna lightning bolt your small dick off Poseidon - cool water guy who made Odysseus’ life bad lol TEAM POSEIDON Hades - underworld dude with a weird ass dog. kidnapped then married Persephone. Reminds me of creepy old men on the internet your parents warn you about.   Persephone - fucking hot and should be more appreciative that hades wants her that badly (jealousy) Demeter - seriously please hack my face off w your scythe my agricultural top Hera - milf. that’s all. AND WAY TOO GOOD FOR SMALL DICK MAN Hestia - hearth? Huh? Athena - baddest bitch around. intelligent, owl, blood kink, probably. Hermes - mailman with shoe game. GAY Apollo - music, the sun, def part of the lgbtq+ community. Artemis - BADDEST BITCH AROUND. Huntress, cool weapons, and i would pay so much money to have her rail me dominatrix style ( bring the bow please) Hephaestus - blacksmith right? simps for Aphrodite (as he should). mommy AND daddy issues. Aphrodite - beauty, love, hot asf Ares - war, and has serious anger issues. I’ll give you my therapists card babe Dionysus - drunk all the time, reminds me of moms who have the wine glasses that say “it’s moms turn to wine”.

Norie

Zeus - shitty husband, couldn’t keep it in his pants Poseidon - water guy, hate this mf cause of Medusa, def least fav god Hades - underworld ruler, people who like him think their quirky (Ik cause it used to be me) Persephone - so hot, pls rail me, sry she got stockholm syndrome but like I would be flattered if anyone cared enough to kidnap me Demeter - top, grain mf, could fuck me with her scythe Hera - could top me, needed a good divorce lawyer Hestia - goddess of hearth? Don’t rly know much abt her but like I think she’s the oldest of her siblings Athena - smart one, owl bitch, also a whore for war Hermes - idk remember much, mischief, wings? Apollo - bisexual disaster, music bitch Artemis - hunter, could shoot me with her bow and I would say thank you Hephaestus - no thoughts at all, wait is this the guy who was with Pandora? Idk but like I think he was a blacksmith Aphrodite - hot Ares - war, a little over the top Dionysus - drunk, alcohol addiction rivals isadora’s

[mystilotls]

My friend’s lore of MCYTS #1

keep in mind she doesn’t know abt mcyts 

Me: *shows an image of Mumbo Jumbo*

friend: “ This mf is a part of the cartel in Mexico, he’s one of the deadliest and dangerous members of it, but he also has a soft side. He has 2 daughters who live away from him, out of protection he tries to not have them around him for fear they will be killed or kidnapped, even tho every night he cries himself to sleep while looking at a picture of them all happy eating at his bb mama’s house, it was taken when his oldest turned 11″ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: *Shows her an image of Solidarity*

friend: Ok, well this mf is like zuko, he’s about 14-17 and his whole family are a bunch of racist homophobic transphobic assholes who live in Alabama and swear America is the shit 

Me: _______, He’s british- Her: SHIT! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: *Shows an image of GoodTimesWithScar and Bdubs* 

friend:  they’re gay but like iconic gay, not the way u would think tho. The guy without a shirt and eyes that make it look like he’s high is named Diego and the other one is Gary or some other weird goofy shit like that. They met in high school but didn’t get “close” until about a year ago during they’re junior year of college, they have been through so much together and wanna get married in about 6 months (since they’ve already known each other since 8th grade), they just moved in together and do everything together but not in a weird way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: *Shows an image of Taurtis*

friend: 1) Jesus, it’s either one of two things...he’s the only older brother of that “the boys👾🥶🤬” kid and his name is either Alex or Jonathan. He skips class regularly and likes to fuck around with all the girls. He’s most likely on the basketball team but always gets in trouble with his coach for being a bad student. He prob is rlly disrespectful to his mom and his dad just kinda ignores it 

2) he’s the sweetest Man U will ever meet, like I, ______ have a crush on this sweet ass kid and if he’s not the best kid in class he’s at least responsible and paying attention, he’s still on the basketball team and he’s rlly good, possibly mvp. He’s the type to offer an old lady to walk her across the street Yeah would trust him with my drink if I needed to use the bathroom at a club

Me: *losing my mind over the accuracy* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: *shows an image of Grian and says he is associated with “Drug cartel mf” *

Friend: Oooh this right here, this mf is drug cartel’s son Miguel (or mike since he was raised in the states) and he’s another zuko, confused but was raised with the idea of pursuing a hard life in the cartel. He doesn’t know this, but he was kidnapped by the cartel man because the cartel man needed a son to carry the family tradition and women in that field.... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Me: *Shows an image of Dream*

Friend: *basically refers to him as “Nipple eyed man”*

[imadethisatage11]

Live-blogging my reaction to Spiral: from the book of saw

Spoilers under the cut

TL;DR: my overall review is that it was good but I’m going to go watch DPS to cleanse me

- ok so that woman got robbed and for what

- I had to pause to find out who this detective’s actor was Bc it was driving me nuts and it’s MCMURRAY FROM LETTERKENNY???

- love that they’re gonna fuck up this train conductors day lmao

- LOVE genuinely that we’re back to looking gritty and having an old tv play the video and having some rapid cut camera work early 2000’s vibes I embrace you

- why does the voice sound like that,, I wasn’t expecting John but why is it so non threatening now it’s literally just Some Guy™️

- I am glad I paid $15 to listen to Chris Rock talk about Forrest Gump. Worth my money and I mean it genuinely I love Chris Rock he’s great. Stream Everybody Hates Chris on Hulu

- “Z?” Zeke who just had his cover blown: this MF

- “do I look like a fucking Jamaican nanny?!” I- 😀🤚🏽

- ayo Max Minghella

- Chris Rock falling just short of being convincingly aggressively cynical Bc he is Chris Rock with the voice of Chris Rock

- it sounds like he’s setting up jokes that don’t have punchlines and instead they’re just like,, mediocre cynic cop dialogue

- while looking at some pretty fucking intact teeth: this bum is gonna be pretty hard to ID

- I mean I guess the homeless don’t have dental records but were you not even gonna try?

- I’m very pleased Chris Rock put on gloves before handling the strange package I love actually smart character choices that would make sense for them to make

- I.e. the cop knows how to properly handle unexpected unmarked packages delivered to the precinct

- “I thought the jigsaw killer was dead” “well if it’s another copy cat…” another wait is that referring to Logan (which Logan pinned on the other coincidentally crooked cop whose name I’ve forgotten) does that imply Logan only did like? The one trap? And hasn’t been active? Just waited ten years after John died recreates the one trap he was in and then stops?? I mean don’t get me wrong if movie wants to ignore Jigsaw (2017)’s existence I’m game but like what

- also why do the packages look like they’re wrapped in Tiffany boxes lmao

- oh yay they did run dental

- Chris Rock is an asshole but they should go with protocol if that’s what they’re doing

- ordering a man mid piss out of the men’s room to yell at Zeke

- does conflict of interest matter when the whole precinct knows the victim?

- uncomfortable stand-offs with your ex while at the home of a grieving friend

- Samuel L Jackson!

- “I could’ve killed you!” “What are you talking about, I have the gun!” *SLJ pulls a gun out* “I could’ve killed you”

- daddy issues

- “you think this is linked to John Kramer?” Bruh you think it’s NOT??

- ik this is SO far fetched but I rlly hope this movie tells us wtf happened to Dr Gordon. I’m sure it won’t but a girl can dream

- “should we tell Zeke?” “Fuck him” I get you guys don’t like to work w him Bc he’s an ass but like. You’re just not doing your jobs now you’re just proving he’s right that you’re untrustworthy

- splitting up and not telling ppl where you’re going is the number one way to get kidnapped or murdered but way to go cop instincts

- what is this Chinese finger trap ass shit

- love the blue tones tho very Saw

- all it needs is to become uncomfortably green

- fun fact I actually watched the first saw w my friend who is red green color blind and he said it looked AWFUL and I was like oh yeah everything is blue tinted like twilight blue tint and later it’s green just FYI (he thought that made significantly more sense than whatever shit ass color palette he was perceiving)

- being mad at your son for turning in a dirty cop Bc now you’ll have to mess with internal affairs

- and then assaulting someone??? SLJ is an even worse asshole lmao

- another Tiffany box bound in twine maybe it’ll be one of those cheesy diamond heart necklaces

- HELLO what is that ugly ass pig puppet

- also the voice is so stilted did the killer use fuckin text to speech so they couldn’t unscramble the voice like they did to Hoffman?

- cops finding dead pigs, a little on the nose

- oh so this dude has a history of “fuck it” ok well screw that guy then

- SLJ deserves to be pissed at that cop for letting Zeke get shot but like what an unhinged man he threatened to kill him and then actually assaulted him HOW did he EVER get in charge to begin with

- ok wait is Zeke actually the only decent cop (inc his dad but maybe excluding the newbie)

- that is a truly gruesome way to lose fingers tho I must say but he deserves that shit

- wait did the trap not go fast enough or was there a way for him to do that faster and I missed it

- like should he not have hesitated Bc there was a time limit or was it just rigged

- cuz the machine had to pull them off he couldn’t just cut them quickly

- so are they just gonna leave broken leg Dude there or

- also just now I tried to talk abt this movie (so far) vs Jigsaw (2017) to my mom and I got too excited and referenced some character names she didn’t know and she shut me down and said she didn’t care 😀

- live-blogging to my, like, five followers that compromise one one (1) person that knows me IRL, one (1) Sawtual, and a handful of ppl only here for my main DPS content to fill the void of emotional parental neglect. What a great website

- oh no did the rookie die :( he was actually sweet

- I feel like he was too important to kill offscreen tho

- like they’re TELLING us he .. was skinned.. but was he REALLY

- Chris Rock having a revelation: AH FUCK

- everyone else at the crime scene: ….

- favorite thing abt movies that were already gonna be rated R is when they’re like “well if we’re already at R we might as well say fuck”

- she has to SEVER HER SPINAL CORD? Why was she deemed the biggest asshole

- also how on earth was this trap portable it IS in their basement right

- transporting the hot wax is just what gets me

- Chris Rock rn: are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit?

- was this abt his dad the whole time???

- does it count as live blogging when I do one big post instead of several small ones lol I just want it to be avoidable for ppl who are just here for Dead Poets Society

- man’s fully abt to cut his arm off like barely even hesitated long enough to notice the bobby pin he could pick the lock with

- there’s a body here suspended

- not hanging mind you

- but covered and suspended

- and I bet it’s the newbie

- ah damn it’s Pete that’s disappointing

- it’s possible the trailers just made him seem more important than he was

- why are they punishing Zeke for reporting a dirty cop and having his career accordingly ruined like he did the right thing and already suffered for it? This killer doesn’t like crooked cops?? Why does Zeke have to be tortured by hearing this dude die like that’s what they want isn’t it?

- I think it’s too late pal

- the glass trap was pretty fucking cool though

- I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

- I didn’t think he was a MURDERER but I KNEW he was alive

- OH SHIT THE DIRTY COP ZEKE TURNED IN KILLED NEWBIE’S DAD??

- I’m terrible at guessing endings but it makes viewing more fun

- honestly,, do it Chris Rock ACAB

- “you want me to kill cops?” “No, fuck no, just the bad ones”

- what a fun villain though

- I have no idea what the Ultimate Game Plan™️ is here though is he gonna make him kill his dad? I mean his dad does suck but making a dude KILL his DAD? That is a tall order Max Minghella

- ok but literally why wouldn’t you listen to him here shoot the target??

- ANGIE! It WaS aNgIe

- killing this man is not correct justice anyway Zeke

- shot the target! Good man

- groovy of them to play the Hello Zepp soundtrack rn

- oh shit what’s going on SLJ knows what it is

- oh.. w o w. Brutal way to go. Very heavy handed imagery

- and that’s all I guess who the fuck knows what’s up w Doctor Gordon

- and I guess Max Minghella is just gonna get away now but tbh Chris Rock only seemed truly mad at him for involving his dad

- nice rap remix to the OG Hello Zepp score very cool credits music

[wincestisasincest]

2000 Man (A beatle!reader story) - Part 5: Fore!

A quick one, inspired by this picture. Beautiful.

As always, credit to @casafrass for inventing the concept of Beatle!reader, that mf idea that sister snatched my heart. 

Description: It’s the year 2000, and y/n, the fifth member of the Beatles, is advertising her new book, Madam Beatle, in her first interview of the year. We see snapshots of her life, from when she joined the band, to the trials and tribulations, to the death of the band, and everything in between. Loosely inspired by Slumdog Millionaire. 

Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Head canons: None, I think, besides the general concept, this is just me spitballing. 

Words: 1465

Pairings: None? I mean, it’s the same as always, depending on how you view it, it can either be a pairing or a friendship.

Warnings: Alcohol, smoking, golf

“There is this recurring, oh, let’s call it a motif, in the book, of the Rolling Stones.” 

“Yeah, this is one of the few cases in which popular opinion was actually correct. We really did see the Stones a lot.”

“Now, you were friends?”

“I’d say so, yes. Initially, we had something of a rivalry, I guess you’d call it, but even in those days, we still had a very deep reverence for each other. And, then, at one point, our managers decided that we should meet.”

“An interesting decision, yes?” 

“Well, you see, in our industry, competition isn’t unusual, but having enemies really can’t be an option. I think they wanted to actually have us meet face to face so our competitive energy couldn’t turn into blind hatred. Because that only leads to worse things.” 

“Hasn’t competition produced some great records?” 

“Yes, but it’s not really a prerequisite. All due respect, I really am against the idea that you need some sort of negative presence to properly be a musician, or make beautiful things. People just like focusing on that because it’s interesting, but really, as much songs have been motivated by joy as they have grief. I wish more people, especially aspiring artists, knew that.” 

*************

“They’re late.” Brian checked his watch impatiently. 

“What’d you expect?” John was lighting his cigarette.

“Their public personas are one thing, but there’s no need to be rude in private.” Brian huffed.

“Maybe, and this is crazy, but hear me out, their on-stage personas evolved from their own personalities.” You retorted as John courteously lit your own cigarette for you. 

“(Y/n), I’m really not in the mood for any of your back-talk. If you could kindly keep the sass to yourself, I think it would benefit all of us.” Brian retorted and John snickered. 

“You got in trouble.” 

“Shut up, John, I’m gonna go check out the bar.” You shifted your eyes up to Brian, expecting some sort of reprimand, though he just looked at you tiredly.

“Just don’t get drunk.” And with that, he paid you no more mind. It’s not nearly as fun when he doesn’t get offended, you thought. 

You turned on your heel and wandered off in the opposite direction, leaving John to flit over to Paul, George, and Ringo, who were pretending to know how to swing a club. You laughed to yourself. The benefit of being the only girl in the group is that when they did dumb guy business meeting things, you were not expected to participate. Another day of your life where you would not have to play golf. Thank god. 

You swung open the door to the bar and the air conditioner hit you in the face. The bar had an old-timey feel, all the way down to the bar tender cleaning a glass at the counter and a few mysterious strangers lined up on the stools. Might as well join ‘em. 

You plopped yourself on the stool the closest to the door and called the bartender over. 

“What can I do ya for, sweetheart?” 

“Vodka sour.” He nodded and whisked off behind the counter to fetch your order. You took a drag of your cigarette.

“Vodka sour?” A thick British accent floated from one of the stools. You spun around your seat, face to face with none other than Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, and also one of the people that you were waiting on. 

“It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” You shrugged. If he wanted to play it coy, and act like you two don’t know each other, then he’s on.

He slid out of his seat and moved to the one directly next to you. The both of you were smoking and sizing each other up. Of course, if you wanted to ruin the fun, you could’ve asked why he was late. But you didn’t. 

“Vodka sour, Miss.” The bartender dropped your drink on the counter. You briefly turned back to him.

“Thanks, what do I owe you?” As you struggled to pull out your wallet, Keith took some money from the front pocket of his shirt and handed it to the bartender. He returned your startled look with a charming smile. 

“On me.” 

“Well now, I must be something special if I’m getting you to buy drinks for me.” You doused your cigarette in the ashtray and took a long sip.

“Nah, it’s just, I feel like I know you from somewhere.” He grinned.

“Feeling’s mutual. Perhaps I can buy the next one?”

“Oi, Keith, stop flirtin’ we got some bugs ta’ meet!” Another British accent, though this one a lot more harsh, cut through the room. 

Coming in from the alternate entrance was none other than the flamboyant, the one and only, the Romeon to your Juliet, Mick Jagger. Trailing behind him like ducklings was the Stones’ manager, Andrew Loog-Oldham, the bassist, Bill Wyman, the other guitarist, Brian Jones, and the dummer, Charlie Watts. 

“While you were sittin’ on your ass, Mick, I already got started!” He leaned back in his seat, revealing you sitting next to him. You flashed your million dollar smiled at the confused crowd. 

“It’s a pleasure.” You toasted to them across the room with your vodka sour, before finishing the drink off and leaving it on the counter.

Mick’s eyes slanted at you, and you could’ve sworn that you heard him purr. 

“A pleasure indeed.” He stalked across the room towards you, before gently taking your hand in his own and kissing your knuckles. You turned to Keith from the side. 

“See? He knows how to greet a lady.” Keith chuckled at your joke. 

“I apologize if our Keith has been forward at all, he can’t handle himself around birds, ‘specially those he fancies.” From what you already knew about Mick, you would never really know whether or not he was actually interested in you because he flirted with anything that moved. 

“The picture of a gentleman.” You smiled wryly. 

“Damnit, Keith. That’s against our image.” Brian teased, his blonde locks bouncing as his head moved. You giggled. 

“Well, I suppose we shouldn’t keep the others waiting? They’re out there pretending they know how to play golf.” The crowd laughed, yet again. You were on a roll. You got up from your stool, getting your footing on the floor, not forgetting to leave a tip in the jar, as you exited the building flanked by your biggest pop competitor. 

The image of their (y/n) coming up the hill with a group of men known for being disrespectful towards everything did set the lads on edge a bit. John was almost angry, Paul was concerned, George was curious, and Ringo was still focusing on his swing. Brian was just glad that these people had showed up on time. 

As the manager’s greeting each other with aggressive levels of formality, the group took to intermingling. 

“Not gonna lie, I thought you had just found some fans (y/n).” Paul started.

“You’d be correct. We are fans.” Mick put an arm around your shoulder. 

“Speak for yourself. I thought you were kidnapped.” John did that thing where he would say a joke, but you knew that there was real anger underneath. You silently prayed that John wouldn’t mess this up. 

“Oh, please. If anything I kidnapped them.” You psshed. 

“Does anyone actually know why we’re here?” Brian interluded, somewhat impatient with the formalities of the managers. 

“I think the football mums over there wanted us to play golf together? Because that’s what business people do?” John shrugged sarcastically, and the group chuckled. 

“Is now a bad time to tell them that I don’t think any of us know how to play?” George quipped quietly, though making sure that he was still included in the conversation.

“Speak for yourself, I think my swings improved.” Ringo demonstrated, narrowly missing the back of Brian’s head, though thankfully, Brian didn’t actually notice. 

“Yeah, if you’re tryna take someone out.” You smiled at Ringo, knowing full well that someone would die of a golf mishap before the day was over. 

“Speakin’ of takin’ out...” Mick looked back down at you flirtatiously. John had finally boiled over.

“Absolutely not. No.” He pulled you over to their side. Everyone giggled like a bunch of pre-teen boys, except for John, surprisingly.

“As a rule, (y/n) is off limits. Just business, lads.” He placed you behind him and Paul like a wall. 

“Imma big girl, Johnny. Just like you.” Talk shit, get roasted John. Though everyone was laughing, with several oohs interspersed between them, you could swear that Paul laughed unusually hard. 

“Alright you ten,” Brian returned to the group, “shall we get started?” 

“I just have one question, Brian,” Paul turned to face him, “how do you play golf?”

[nancywheelxr]

Prompt: Robin Buckley accidentally "adopts" Billy Hargrove as a pseudo brother figure because gays have to stick together. They rent a place together, and because Robin's brilliant she figures out what's wrong with Billy way before anything happens and basically gets rid of the MF on her own. The two of them then secretly battle the Upside Down and Russians until they run into Steve and The Party.

Okay, so, I love this prompt so much, but I just couldn’t think of a way for Robin to get rid of the Mind Flayer without closing the gate, so I made little changes. I hope you don’t mind, anon!

*

“Fucking piece of shit, mother fucking shitty death trap,” Robin vehemently hisses at her car as she lays it on the horn once, throws the door open, and kicks the front tire. “Goddamn it, should’ve taken the fucking bus! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

The school parking lot is empty because it’s way past the time any teenager would hang around the school, any teenager aside from Robin, probably, because she’s the only freak who had to stay in late practicing the clarinet for next week’s prep rally. Then again, she would like the record to show that if her parents had deigned to buy her a damn clarinet, she wouldn’t have to stay late and practice with the dirty, cheap school one.

So what she’s really trying to say is that if she gets mugged or you know, murdered, it’s all her dad’s fault.

And to make matter’s worst, which is just her luck, really, no surprises there, a car turns the corner, engine roaring, and slows down as it nears the school. Not any car either, no. Billy Hargrove’s blue Camaro is a one of a kind car here in Hawkins, and right now, it’s screeching to a halt.

Great. That’s just– great. The town’s douchebag, just what she needed.

He rolls down the window, lays on his charm, giving her the kind of grin that makes the girls swoon in the halls. Too bad for him, really, this kinda shit isn’t gonna work on Robin. “Hey there, beautiful. You wouldn’t happen to have seen my sister, would you?”

Robin frowns, gives him an extremely unimpressed look. Not really what she had been expecting, but better than being harassed. “Do I look like I know who your sister is?”

Hargrove huffs, dropping the act and closing his eyes like he’s trying really hard not to scream. “Tiny red-head, always fucking yelling shit. Probably had a gaggle of nerds with her. You seen her?”

Gaggle of children? Why would they be in the high– oh, actually, Robin kind of remembers a lot of running after hours? She thought the drama kids had been rehearsing some weird shit again, but now–

“I might,” she answers, leaning on her door. There’s an idea, and it’s crazy, and it’s probably going to end up with Hargrove tearing out of there or fucking kidnapping her or some shit, but Robin’s getting a little desperate here. The next bus is due in like, a whole hour, it’s gonna be dark by then. “Might have heard where they were going, too.”

Now, Hargrove doesn’t perk up, but there’s a weird wave of relief that she can clearly see wash over him before it’s replaced by his smarmy doucheness again. “Well?”

Robin grins. “Well, my car here broke down.”

“Not my fuckin’ problem, do I look like a mechanic to you?”

“As I was saying,” she glares, “my car broke down, so say, if someone were to give me a ride home, it might jog my memory a little.”

“You’ve got be shittin’ me,” he stares at her, scoffs, and checks his watch. A weird nervousness creeps in on his shoulders, on the way he sits up a little straighter and drums his fingers on the wheel. Then, gritting his teeth, “fine, Jesus, you’re such a bitch. I’ll give you a ride, but we’re picking her up first.”

Her grin widens and Robin hurriedly picks up her backpack and locks her car before throwing herself on Billy Hargrove’s passenger seat. Somewhere in their pink little rooms, every straight girl in their school is wailing in jealousy. It’s funny in a very ironic kinda way.

He gives her an impatient look. “So?”

“Okay, do you know how to get to the quarry?”

*

“If you’re fucking with me,” Hargrove snarls for about the tenth time in like, fifteen minutes, as he drives like a maniac and Def Leppard screams from the speakers. As it is, Robin only rolls her eyes. 

“Dude, that’s way too much effort,” she says, slouching further on her seat, and watches the trees grow in number at the side of the road. They’re almost there now. “And it wouldn’t be very smart of me anyway, considering the quarry would be a prime spot for a murder.”

He grunts. Then, because apparently, life in Hawkins is weird as shit, the headlights hit the crook on the road where most people park before trekking into the woods and, get this, they illuminate a preppy little Beemer.

“Harrington,” Hargrove grumbles, hitting the wheel as he throws his car beside the Beemer, parking haphazardly, and nearly sending Robin squashed against the door. He glares fiercely at her, lighting up a cigarette, “stay the fuck here.”

Yeah, no, that’s not gonna happen. One, Robin’s not gonna stay alone in a car in the dark just waiting for someone to murder her or something, and two, she’s invested in this now, alright. So she’s curious, sue her. 

Robin spills out the car just in time to see Hargrove squinting at the dark trail where a bunch of tiny lights is approaching. “Well,” she says, sidling up to him, “at least they remembered to bring flashlights.”

“What the fuck did I say about staying in the car?” Hargrove snaps at her, crossing his arms over his chest all macho. It makes her choke on a snort. Man, boys are so fucking dumb. “Do you have some kinda death wish, shitbird?”

“I have a name, thank you very much,” she glares right back, crossing her own arms in a challenge, “it’s Robin and you can use it if you don’t want to get decked.”

Hargrove grins, delighted for a second. “Is that so, shitbird?”

Robin rolls her eyes. “Really? That’s the best you can come up with?”

Before they could say anything else, the sounds of talking came closer, and Robin heard some variations of oh, shit as the kids appeared from out of the woods. Hargrove snaps his attention to them, a scowl on his face that looked like it could set them on fire. “What the fuck were you thinking, Maxine?”

“Fuck OFF, Billy,” a, well, tiny red-headed girl screams stomping ahead of the little group, which, now that they’re somewhat in the light, she can see includes Steve Harrington. “What are you even DOING here?”

“Picking you the fuck up because you missed curfew again like a dead fucking idiot,” he snarls back, but his eyes are now focused on Harrington, dark and sharp. “The better question is, what are you doing alone with the kids again, Harrington?”

Which, to be fair, Robin thinks is a fair question.

The kids, six little nerds, are now sort of around Harrington? Like, like, six tiny little bodyguards and it’s kinda funny, and Robin can see it’s kind of annoying Harrington a little too, but it’s not like he can say anything, what with the weird standoff he’s having with Hargrove.

“Stopping them from traipsing alone in the woods at night like shitheads, Hargrove,” he snaps back, and oh, shit, he’s got a– is that a bat? With nails? “Now, are you going to be a problem?”

Hargrove just stares at him and he stares back, and it’s getting too weird for Robin, okay, so fuck this, she decides. “Is that a bat with nails?”

Harrington seems to startle, blinking at her like he’s only now realizing she’s there. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

“Oh, my GOD, Billy,” Hargrove’s little sister groans, “did you seriously bring one of your girlfriends here?”

“Excuse me?” Robin scoffs, giving her a very unimpressed look, “I have taste and standards, okay? I’m Robin and I’m just trying to get a ride home.”

“From him?” Harrington gapes, then seems to realize he was being kinda rude, “I mean, no offense– no, you know what, full offense. All the offense.”

“Nice one, pretty boy, I’m wounded,” Hargrove laughs. Although, Robin thinks there’s not a lot of humor there. “I can be a real gentleman, you know.”

And– okay, literally everyone, Robin included, has to snort at that.

“Hey, hey, okay, it’s just– I have to ask,” she raises her hand, wiggling her fingers, and then gesturing all that, “is this, like, a cult situation?”

Hargrove smirks, slow and predatory. “Yeah, King Steve, answer the lady.”

“No, it’s not– it’s not a cult, alright?” Harrington goes red in the face, gesturing a lot as he speaks, “the kids– they wanted to hit the quarry and I’m not– it’s not like I could stop them! “

“That’s freaking weird, dude,” she says, shrugging, the kids seem to be fine, so. It’s more pathetic for him than anything, she figures. “You’re their babysitter?”

“We don’t need babysitters!” One of the kids cries, all pouty and shit.

“Yeah, Steve’s the coolest, that’s why he’s our friend,” another one with curly hair adds.

“Can we just GO?” Hargrove’s sister says, stomping in the direction of the Camaro, “Billy, remember the fucking deal!”

Hargrove’s face goes blank and hard, and he grumbles, glaring murderously at Harrington as he steps on his cigarette. “Come on, shitbird. The fuck do you live?”

Robin shrugs, following back to the car when Harrington’s voice rings. “Hey, Robin, right? You can ride with me if you want?”

She studies him and his tiny little bodyguards, his preppy Beemer, and back at Hargrove and his sister; he’s shoving her things in the backseat and the passenger door is open. Robin doubts she’d get shotgun with Harrington. “Nah, I’m fine, dude, no worries.”

*

“So you’re not his girlfriend?” Hargrove’s sister– it’s Max, I’ll punch you if you call me Maxine– asks, leaning between the seats, “or, I don’t know, friend?”

The way she says friend leads Robin to believe she means something between Girlfriend and Friend, and that Robin is in some way attracted to her troll of a brother. Robin cackles. “No, kid, not really my type,” she winks, “like I said, standards.”

“I’m still fucking here, you know,” Hargrove grumbles, still driving like a fucking psycho.

“Okay, so why are you here?” Max continues her interrogation.

“My car broke down,” Robin shrugs, “I really needed a ride home.”

“So he offered you a ride?”

Now, Hargrove snorts. “No, Maxine, she fucking blackmailed me into giving her a ride.”

Max looks at her with wide, delighted eyes. “Oh, my god, seriously?”

“Yup.”

“That’s awesome,” Max crows, falling back into her seat as her brother cuts a corner harshly, parking on Robin’s driveway halfway up the curb. “You’re so cool.”

“Get the fuck out, shitbird,” Hargrove snaps, scowling, and Robin laughs, internally flinching at how similar it sounded with his earlier laughter. Yeah, it’s really late and her parents are not gonna be happy.

“You’re welcome, asshole,” she says, throwing the door open, and grimaces at the lights in the living room, “oh, man, my dad’s gonna kill me.”

To be fair, she thinks he might be a bit relieved Robin is with a boy, like a normal girl her age, and her mom will probably lecture her forever but then wink like she thinks Robin is finally doing something normal too. 

“Hey,” Hargrove grunts, and Robin turns, backpack in hand and ready to get out. He’s got a cigarette on his lips and his face is all blank again, unreadable, but she doesn’t miss the way his eyes flicker to the living room lights too. When he speaks, it’s quiet. “You gonna be okay?”

Something flickers on his face and Robin thinks she’s missing something huge here about him, tries to add his concern to his general douchebagness and finds that it’s an awkward fit. 

Still, she smiles. “Yeah, I’ll be fine, dude. See you, losers.”

Weirdly, the Camaro doesn’t peel away until Robin is locking the door behind her.

*

 It’s not like Robin expected to like, become buddy-buddy with him after or even any sort of recognition at all, she knows how High School works, and she knows how Billy Hargrove’s brand of peacocking douchebagness works, so she’s not surprised when he ignores her as usual.

She is a little surprised when Steve Harrington corners her outside English. “What’s this?”

He blinks at her, looks down where he had been holding her arm to steer them out of the way, and drops his hand hastily. “Sorry, I just wanted to ask– are you alright?”

“Hm, yes?” She raises her eyebrows, “why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you, uh. Last night, you drove off with Hargrove, so. Just checking.”

Robin snorts, remembering the interrogation Max had put her through. Harrington clearly hasn’t talked with his children yet. “Thanks for the concern, but I can handle myself. Besides, wasn’t him that was traipsing in the woods at night with a bunch of children.”

Harrington makes a face, throwing his hands up. “Look, you don’t know them, okay? It’s like, impossible to stop them from doing stupid shit, they were going to probably lock me in a classroom and steal my car if I hadn’t gone with them! That was, believe it or not, the best-case scenario!”

“What were you doing in the woods anyway? That place gives me the creeps at night.”

“That’s, uh. That’s classified,” he tries to sound confident and all snotty, but Robin can hear through the fake- loftiness, snorts. “Okay, they were looking for something– it’s about their Dungeon and Dragons shit, I don’t know. They never tell me shit.”

“Right,” she snickers again. Harrington looks like a stressed mother of six alright.

“And hey, I mean it,” he says, growing serious, “if he gives you shit, let me know okay? I know he’s all, you know, but he– last year, he almost beat my face in, okay? Totally lost it on the kids, too. He’s a real asshole. So.”

Robin sucks in her teeth, considering his words. Harrington is trying to say Hargrove is dangerous and she should stay away, and well, he’s making a good case of it, Robin has to give him that. She kind of remembers the state of his face last year, all black and blue, and she remembers Hargrove’s cracked wrist. Rumors of their fight had been legendary.

“Okay, thanks for the gossip,” she smiles all fake sweet, and slips out his space, “it’s not like we’re friends or anything, anyway.”

And that should have been that.

*

Except, Robin is, unfortunately, terribly cursed with the gift of being too smart for her own good.

It’s a tragedy, truly.

So, she’s super smart and she notices things. Like, for example, now that both Hargrove and Harrington are more than just names, now that she’s curious about what the fuck is going on there, she’s more aware of their presences in the halls.

So, she notices.

Robin sees the way Hargrove follows him with his eyes when he thinks Harrington’s not looking, and she sees how his face does a thing whenever Harrington’s walks in the room. She sees how casual he is with a different girl hanging off his arm every day but inevitably cuts a glance at Harrington as he walks by. She sees all that and thinks oh. 

This is interesting.

This is– everyone keeps telling her to stay away from him, but if Hargrove is– if there’s a chance she’s not alone in this small, small town in the middle of nowhere– 

Robin’s heart races, and for the first time, she watches Tammy watch Harrington and feels a little less alone.

*

She corners him at his locker when Tommy and Carol aren’t there being nuisances for once. She stops there, waits for him to slam his locker closed, and notice her. 

“Shit, the fuck you doing here? Jesus, almost gave me a heart attack,” he snaps, glaring at her.

“Can we talk?” She goes straight to the point, not sure she’d have the courage to follow through if she beats around the bush. “Like, in private?”

Hargrove makes a face, dripping with pity and condescension. “Look, shitbird, sorry, but I’m just not interested–”

“Yeah,” Robin says, then looks pointedly at Harrington passing by, “I know you’re not interested.”

The shift is instantaneous. Blind panic flashes on his eyes and the next thing she knows he’s dragging her to the parking lot and roughly shoving her into the passenger seat of his car. “I don’t know what the fuck you think you know, but that’s not the kind of shit you can go around saying unless you want to fucking die, okay? I don’t beat up women, but I’m sure Carol would be real happy to tear into your face. Fucking ruin your life, hear me?”

“Jesus Christ, dude, chill,” she glares, rubbing at her wrist. What is it with these boys and grabbing people by the arm? “I didn’t say I was gonna, like, tell the whole school.”

“Right, blackmail’s more your thing,” he glares, snarling at her.

“Would you just– it’s not–” she flounders, losing her nerve. What if he decides to tell the whole school? By all means, that’s an asshole move and Billy Hagrove’s nothing if not an asshole. But Robin, she’s so, so tired of keeping this locked inside. Having someone, even an asshole, to talk about this with, someone like her, it’s– 

“I know all about pining for straight people, okay?” She finally says, rushing the words all in one breath, and looks down at her hands, bracing for whatever comes next. No turning back now, no take backsies.

There’s a long minute of silence in the car and Robin thinks she might burst if he doesn’t say anything soon, and maybe this was a terrible idea, maybe she was wrong after all, or maybe she wasn’t but he still thinks she’s a freak, fuck, she needs to get out of here–

“Fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” Hargrove says, and when Robin finally risks a glance at him, he’s smoking a cigarette and holding the steering wheel like it’s gonna solve all of his problems. He’s got a fading black eye, too, she notices. 

Robin nods, exhaling a shuddery breath, and huffs a laugh, feeling relieved as shit. “Like hell. Can I bum one?”

“Those will kill you, you know?” He throws her his pack, then his lighter.

“Not if Tammy’s stupid pretty face kills me first,” she grumbles, and shit, it feels good to say it out loud.

Hargrove laughs, startled.

*

When she arrives the next day to no one whispering about her liking girls, it cements on her mind that Billy Hargrove and her were friends now. This is the sort of thing only friends should know about so there’s no helping it. They were stuck with each other.

And Billy seems to think so too as he drops by her locker, grumbling about Harrington’s stupid jeans, and walks her to their Math class.

At lunch, he steals a quarter if her sandwich and lets her whisper about Tammy’s new haircut.

Sometimes, they sit at his car and smoke cigarettes in silence, just contemplating how fucked they are or something, and sometimes they rant about whatever shit there is to rant.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

And like, sure, people talk about it. This weird random friendship, but it’s not like Billy’s always hanging out with her. He still spends nearly all his time with Tommy and his stupid friends, and Robin has band practice and her band friends. They just talk, sometimes, because there’s no one else to talk about this with.

She bets people still think they’re fucking though.

It’s fine; kinda embarrassing, but a lesser evil.

*

“So,” she says one day when they’re smoking in his car, “Steve Harrington.”

“What about him,” Billy grunts, fiddling with the radion. Some old Cindy Lauper song is playing and he looks two notes away from murdering someone.

“Heard you had some big fight last year,” she offers, studying the way his shoulders go tense and he grimaces. “What was that all about?”

“Was looking for my sister, found her in some creepy house in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere with a bunch of boys and Harrington,” he shrugs like it’s not a big deal, even though Robin can clearly see it’s kind of a big fucking deal. “No one was sayin’ shit, and man, I had told her hanging around Sinclair was gonna be a fuckin’ problem but she never fuckin’ listens.”

“And why is that?” She asks sharply.

“My dad,” he says simply, eyeing the way she got her hackles raised, before continuing with a sigh. “I kinda lost it that day. Some shit had gone down before–”

“You took it out on them?”

“Yeah, and Harrington punched me real good so I broke a plate over his head, didn’t stop until Max stuck some needle on my neck.”

Billy says all of this and watches Robin like he’s half expecting her to storm out of his car, or some shit like that, but. Well. It’s been what– three months since they’ve started hanging out? She knows– she knows when Billy says some shit went down he means the source of the bruises he’s always hiding, and yeah, that doesn’t excuse him at all, but it shines enough of a light for Robin to be willing to grant him a second chance.

If she’s being honest, he is being less of an asshole than she remembers last year.

“Dude, that’s messed up,” she tells him, blowing smoke out of the window, “have you apologized yet?”

“It’s not like it’s gonna make any difference,” Billy says, again like it’s not a big deal, but the way he punches his Mettalica tape in is very telling, “so why the fuck bother.”

Robin gives him a look. “Uh, because we just agreed that was messed up?” She shrugs, “if you’re gonna say sorry just to get something in return, you’re not really sorry, you know?”

“So that’s why the fuck I should bother?” He asks, eyebrows raised and a wry smile.

“Dunno, dude,” Robin stubs her cigarette, “you do you, I’m not gonna like, force you to do anything. Just thought I’d get your side of the story.”

“So if I don’t say shit to them,” Billy speaks slowly, “you’re not gonna get on my case about it?”

She shrugs again. “I think last year was a long time ago and I think you’re sorry about it. Are you gonna do that again?”

Billy pauses, looks out the windshield. “I don’t know,” then, “I’m trying not to.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Robin flicks his cigarette out the window, grins, “now, are we gonna get some fries or what?”

“You just wanna make googly eyes at the Thompson girl while she takes our order,” Billy snorts, but peels off the school parking lot while on the radio, James Hetfield sings about puppets and strings.

*

They don’t talk about Billy’s bruises but he knows that she knows in the same way they don’t talk about the mornings Robin can’t look anyone in the eyes, some very strong choices of words ringing in her head. Shitty parents are abounding and they just have two very different flavors of shitty.

*

A week after his graduation, they meet in a diner. Not Tammy’s diner, but one less frequented by the people they went to school with and he opens with:

“Talked with all the shitheads.”

Robin raised her eyebrows. “Yeah? How did it go?”

“Apparently I’m on probation now,” he quirks a smile, playing with a packet of sugar, “the one with the curly hair, you know? Yelled a lot, fucking hell. He and Max are going to leave me deaf at this rate.”

“That’s cool, man,” she smiles, patting his hand in support, “what about Harrington?”

He– oh my god, he goes kinda red in the face, it’s amazing. “Talked with him, too. We’re– a truce or some shit. Whatever any of that means.”

“Hey, did you mean, your apology?”

Billy makes an irritated encompassing gesture of obviously.

“Then, fuck, dude, that’s it,” she waits for a beat before adding innocently, “of course, if you’re gonna, like, woo him or something–”

“Fuck off, shitbird,” he snaps, scowling, but that stopped sounding like a curse a long time ago, and Robin likes to think it’s at least half fond now. It’s the only reason why she tolerates it.

“Just saying, asshole,” and besides, that, too, is kinda fond on her part.

Billy rolls his eyes, leaning back, more comfortable now that they’ve got that confession out of the way. “You say a lot of shit. How’s job hunting going?”

Robin perks up. “I’ve got a job,” she singsongs, “it’s at that new Starcourt thing, at the Ice Cream place, but hey, it’s money.”

“Damn, that was fast, we gotta celebrate,” he grins, flagging the waitress, “hey, can we get two cokes here?”

“A chocolate milkshake.”

“And a chocolate milkshake, please?” He amends and smiles all charming at the girl.

Robin rolls her eyes and laughs when he turns to her and makes a face. 

Outside, the wind is picking up and everything is colorful for the change in season; summer is just starting, but something is already changing in Hawkins, Indiana.

*

Working with Steve Harrington is funnier than Robin expected.

Like, she never spoke with the guy after that day he cornered her in the hallway and yeah, she had been aware of the number of children that was always following him around, but man, she did not expect him to suck so much at picking up girls outside the school.

The YOU SUCK tally is only growing and teasing him is a large part of what makes working there survivable. If it were anyone else, she thinks she might have quit a while ago.

Because sure, she resents him a little for the whole Tammy thing, but she has to admit that the guy is funny and genuinely nice. The kind that walks her to her car if they’re closing late and expects nothing in return. It’s like now that school is over, Harrington became a real person.

Or maybe, that change happened a bit earlier and she’s only noticing it now, but either way, Robin thinks as she snickers at his terrible pick-up lines, by the time summer ends, she just might have to consider him a friend.

*

“I think you should come by the pool sometime,” Billy says one day when they’re eating at the food court before Robin’s shift.

“Why’s that?” She speaks through a mouthful of burger.

“Besides the heatwave?”

“Yeah, besides that.”

Billy grins his shark grin. “I think you should meet someone.”

Robin chokes on her burger, doubling in a coughing fit. “Oh, hell no. You’re not playing matchmaker, asshole.”

“I’m just saying,” he throws a fry and it bounces off her forehead, falls on her plate, “you and Heather would get along real good.”

“That sounds like you’re playing matchmaker,” she glares, throwing his fry right back. “Why don’t you come by Scoops, then?”

“Fuck off,” he says without any real heat, “don’t fucking come, then, Christ. I’m just sayin’.”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you,” Robin grumbles, checking her clock, “I gotta go. My car’s still at the shop, you’re gonna pick me up after my shift, right?”

Without waiting for his answer, she takes off, laughing, and hears his voice yelling after her, “not your fucking driver, shitbird!”

*

Billy’s not always on time, but he never takes this fucking long, especially when he knows she’s gonna be closing the shop, so Robin thinks she has a right to be mildly worried.

“You, uh, you sure, he’s coming?” Steve asks, sitting with her in the parking lot while the cars slowly file out. “Because I can, like, give you a ride, you know.”

“Nah, it’s fine. He’s probably messing with his hair. I swear, he’s worst than you,” she snorts, snickering at his offended face, and tries not to be so jittery.

“I don’t even spend–”

Steve’s cut off by the Camaro’s loud engine, and Robin watches delighted as he nods at Billy in acknowledgment, no weird tension between them. Maybe this whole probation thing Max and the kids have going is working after all. 

“Hey, you’re late, asshole,” she glares at him half-heartedly, buckling up, then scrunches up her nose at the strong whiff of cologne that suffocates the car. “Jesus Christ, dude, roll down the window, are you trying to kill me?”

Billy only grunts and that’s when she notices how dressed up he is. Well, dressed up for his standards, anyway, and his fingers are drumming restlessly in the steering wheel, his whole body tense, coiled tight, ready to snap.

“Are you alright?” She frowns, eyeing his face for any signs of new bruises.

“Got a date after I drop you off,” he says, voice tight. Not a good sign. This isn’t first date jitters.

Robin raises her eyebrow. “With who?”

“Now that’s none of your fucking business, is it?” Billy snaps, and he’s never been this harsh with her, not even months ago when she had been stranded in the high school parking lot and he had been looking for his sister. 

“Fine, don’t tell me, then, dickwad. Sorry for fucking caring,” she scowls, crossing her arms over her chest and turning away from him to stare out the window.

She hears him sigh, can bet he’s running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to– it’s with Mrs.Wheeler, alright? We’re meeting at that motel outside town.”

What the fuck.

Okay, Robin’s heard plenty of stupid ideas over the course of this weird friendship of theirs, but this, this one, it takes the fucking cake. Jesus Christ. She doesn’t even know where to start.

“I– Billy, I don’t even– what the fuck, dude?”

Now, she sees him huff, having the audacity to look offended. “See? This is why I didn’t want to fucking tell you, now you’re gonna go up in your goddamn high horse–”

“High horse? Excuse me? You’re going to fuck a married woman when you’re not even attracted to women, and you wanna be mad at me?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he warns, and his fingers are white in the steering wheel, a dark cloud over his face, “you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“No, you’re right, I don’t,” she snaps, pinching the bridge of her nose, “because I can’t think of one fucking reason why this is a good idea.”

Billy says nothing, staring resolutely ahead and turning up the volume on the radio. At this speed, they should’ve arrived at her place already, so she thinks the fact they haven’t yet might mean something.

“And even if– even disregarding all that, you really think Mrs.Wheeler’s gonna show? Really? She has like, three kids, she’s Nancy’s mom. Have you met Nancy? Do you think Nancy’s mom is going to have some torrid affair at a dingy motel down the road?”

“What do you want me to say?” He asks, real quiet, like he’s tired and all this screaming they’re both doing are deflating him like a balloon.

Robin sighs. “That you’re not gonna do something real stupid.”

“Can’t promise that,” Billy shoots back, immediately, pulling out in front of Robin’s house. It’s dark out already, and the moon is illuminating the car’s interior. It makes him look pale, sickly. Scared. Robin tentatively covers his hand on the gear shift. She can understand being scared.

“I know fucking Mrs.Wheeler would get people off your back,” she says quietly, gentle, “but Billy, this isn’t good for you. I know there’s a lot of shit going on, but remember what we talked about? A place after I graduate? Maybe sooner? Just– don’t make it harder on yourself, okay? This whole thing is stupid as shit. Don’t be stupid, asshole. See you tomorrow?”

Billy stares at his hands. “I’ll pick you up, freeloader.”

This time, it’s Robin that waits at the sidewalk until Billy’s blue Camaro turns a corner and disappears from sight. 

Above her head, a streetlight flickers.

*

Something bad happens that night, not that Robin would know as she sleeps fitfully through the night. Like all Hawkins residents, she dreams of fire and black smoke, something wailing in the distance.

*

“You’re late again,” she says as soon as she enters the Camaro, but her voice is cautious and she eyes him like anything about his appearance might tell her what happened last night. 

Billy sighs, sunglasses firmly on top of his nose. “I fucking chickened out if that’s what you’re fishing for.”

Robin beams. “I knew you weren’t just a dumb blonde!”

“Shut the fuck up, Christ,” he grumbles, and oh.

“Are you hangover right now?” She says. Loudly. Grinning at his flinch.

“Yeah, I went home and got shitfaced,” he snaps halfheartedly, “why, you gonna lecture me on that too?”

Robin shrugs, sniffs all haughty. “Why, I just might,” laughs, “kidding, it’s healthier than the other option, I think. Still, getting drunk alone is no fun.”

“Your face is no fun,” he flicks his cigarette at her, dropping ashes on her jeans. “Now get the fuck out of my car.”

Starcourt mall is packed as Robin walks in laughing in her relief and the sound of tires screeching can be heard from the parking lot.

In a few hours, Dustin is going to barge in with news of a Russian conspiracy. In a few hours, she’s going to overhear them and demand in on it, but instead of dealing with this alone, she’s gonna make a phone call to Hawkins’ Public Pool.

“Hi, I was wondering if I could speak with Billy Hargrove? He’s a lifeguard. What? No, I’m not– I swear! It’s uh, family matters. Yeah, I’m his sister. Sure, I can hold.”

[thequeenofshebasays]

Okay, I need to rant today. I can’t believe that to this day I still see very ill informed and stupid posts calling Jonathan a creep and dragging him… then the same dolts talking about how amazing Billy (and Steve are) still!?

Okay I need to lay down some facts:

Jonathan Byers is NOT a creep, a stalker or anything villainous and awful. Just STOP! What Jonathan did in S1 was go looking for his brother where his bike was found (near Steve’s house) Jonathan ONLY approached the house party when he heard a scream and assumed something awful was happening. Upon seeing the scene he watches for a bit and out of habit proceeds to take photos… he stops when he realizes he’s taking photos of Nancy in the room. That’s that.

Or is it? No…

What follows very quickly after is, he’s found out. His camera is smashed, he is admonished and shamed for what he did. But the incident had a purpose: it was the catalyst that sets things in motion… Nancy and Jonathan realize there’s a monster, they start to investigate and Jonathan has hope that Will isn’t dead.

More importantly is he apologizes, twice. The second time after Nancy brings it up during their fight. He means it.

He’s never done anything like it before or since and y’all forget that! You conveniently forget and omit A LOT.

While Jonathan has proved himself over and over and over and over what a solid, loyal, trustworthy, good and amazing human he is… that’s all he has been. As a son, brother and boyfriend. He’s trying his best.

“BuT hE dIdNt CaRe AbOuT NaNcY wHeN sHe WaS dEaLiNg WiTh SeXiSm!?” …. are y’all just that dumb? Or do you have a potato for a brain. Did you just mentally remove several convos where Jonathan and Nancy talk about it? He’s trying to encourage her! He of course has no idea what she is going through! But he’s not being awful about it. He has his own worries as well. Like you know being poor… which was brought up but dismissed and Nancy never apologized for mocking him about it. He apologized however for not getting what she was going through.

All he does is apologize to everyone and want to make things right and fix things and be there for people! That’s just who he is! He’s not perfect! But he’s trying. He’s one of the most realistic, amazing characters on the show.

Now you might think I’m done! But I’m not! Oh boy I’m not done! This next part will be how y’all consistently dismiss all the awful crap Steve and Billy have done! Oh yeah I’m going to call y’all out again with this.

The hypocrisy from y’all is laughable. Shocking! But laughable… one mediocre looking white guy exists and y’all forgive all the evil things the character has done… because that’s all it is.. it’s legit based upon looks. There’s nothing deep going on. It’s why y’all acting stupid when Joe cut his hair. It’s all external fakeness for y’all.

But here’s why it’s extra annoying:

Steve starts off S1 being pushy… he’s constantly trying to get Nancy to do stuff she doesn’t want to. And it’s seen as “cute” but it’s creepy.

His possessive behavior after is also shocking and gross. The allowing of her to be publicly slut shamed, attacking her and being nasty because he spied on her through her bedroom window (???)

He finally gets sense knocked into him… but we never see him apologize to Nancy. He never says those words. There’s no moment… we’re just supposed to forgive him.

S2 didn’t see much improvement. We legit start off S2 with him trying to guilt trip her into not leaving for college. Acting insecure and possessive. He wants her life to be like her moms… and that’s her biggest nightmare. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about what she wants, her worries, her depression, how she feels about Barb, he half assed the dinner with Barb’s parents!

The fight at the party just adds to it… he’s a jerk. He doesn’t care about Nancy at all… she’s blacked out drunk and needs help. But he doesn’t care. Just his little feelings getting hurt!

And then he LEAVES HER THERE!?

Side note: y’all who attacked Jonathan for keeping Nancy safe after that are trash… just FYI.

They fight and he’s again nasty, jumpy, doesn’t listen, is possessive and jealous and very selfish.

Back to Steve… he’s going to apologize… but it’s half assed because he doesn’t get why he should apologize.

His behavior is never addressed by the show and in fact we have Nancy apologizing to him… and she didn’t do anything wrong.

In S3 Steve is pretty much Spongebob so I legit have nothing negative to say about him in this regard during that season.

Billy… I don’t get why y’all love that racist piece of trash so much? His list ain’t even long… because he’s a repetitive bully:

He’s racist

Wants to kill children

Is abusive to Max

Is a freaking psycho bully to Steve for no reason!

He attacks Lucas… like how do y’all just shrug that off!?

In S3 he’s no better, bully creep to kids at the pool, bully creep to his sister.

He gets possessed by the MF but he doesn’t fight it. Will fought it… billy embraced it. He kidnaps people and forces them to become the flayed. The scene with Heathers parents proved he wasn’t just being mind controlled… he was actively being evil. He enjoyed it.

The ending was a stupid, lame and predictable one. Oh he saved the day we just forgive him. NO! He’s trash! glad he’s gone!

And I’m not done! Remember when El and Max spied on their friends? Remember that? Why is that okay with y’all? I don’t care if they’re kids. They’re not babies. They know better. They had Nancy on there. What if they landed on her and she was doing something private with Jonathan? Are they creeps!? No it’s funny haha… spying is funny… unless Jonathan did it by mistake once then it’s EVIL!

Anyway… this fandom is exhausting. But I’ll stick up for Jonathan while y’all bend over backwards to make up excuses for Billy and act like Steve has always been a lovable scamp.

[hazel-callahan]

A Big Idea!!

i was just re-watching annie, the one and only 1982 original, and i couldn’t help but see a sherlock au in it. so i have a prompt.

just imagine: 

Sherlock Holmes: He would play Oliver Warbucks, the confident, awkward-with-kids billionaire. He’d have servants/housing staff and John as his secretary but, obviously, he really only likes John, who he says that he “tolerates.” He wouldn’t know what to do with the kid, but seeing that John likes her/him and realizing that his life is a little brighter with them in it, he signs the adoption papers himself.

John Watson: He’d be Grace Farrell, and their only big role switch would be that John is, in fact, a man. He would also be the parent figure that the child never had, like Grace to Annie, and he would also “tolerate” Sherlock (although Grace lowkey admits that she likes Oliver to Annie, which I want to happen with John too). He is the one that convinces Sherlock to adopt the kid because he sees that Sherlock is considerably happier and the orphanage is in shite condition for children. 

The Kid: The kid would personify Annie, in short. I imagine the kid to be named Oliver, not because of the actual character here but because I read Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68 and I can imagine Sherlock with him extremely easily and it’s a good name of a kid.

TLDR: Sherlock and John are basically themselves and it’s really not difficult putting them in Oliver Warbucks and Grace Farrell’s spot. It’s a johnlock where John slowly allows himself to like Sherlock and Sherlock is vice versa but also with the child.

i’d want a case in their somewhere. like something along the lines of: the kid gets kidnapped, johnlock has to save him/her, and sherlock doesn’t even realize he would literally do anything for that kid until john points it out. idk even mycroft, of all people, could show up too, and he’d be a nuisance to sherlock or something. this fic is something that should take you on a mf Roller Coaster. it should follow the lines of the plot Annie has, but still has it’s own surprises.

it’s truly not difficult to see, especially when you know Annie and Sherlock well enough to see the comparison. plus i’m the biggest sucker when it comes to parent!lock, case fics, and character development involving sherlock.

i can literally plan this all day and still not know any fucking way to write this properly, much less beautifully. so this is a small cry for help on anyone’s behalf to message me on this so it can become a reality. 

[kaypeace21]

S3 plot predictions

Update: adding some more theories/made some slight revisions to this post, after the 2nd trailer (and us being less then a week away) 

* so since we’re at the official 2 weeks mark- I decided to list all my theories I believe may happen. (X), symbol, is a link to where you can read the theory in more depth.

MAJOR PLOT PREDICITIONS

#1)Will Byers was born with powers but acquired more powers after the upside down incident – he was born a wizard but became a cleric. He was born a ‘wizard’ like his d & d character “Will the Wise” (Dustin in s1 even called El a wizard). He was taken by the mindflayer for a reason. And he later became a cleric, Clerics “get their powers from a god” (the mindflayer)- Will became a ceremorph or “flayer kin” (he’s part mindflayer). In d &d the more “wise” the cleric the more powerful they are. 

Possible Powers : electro-pyrokinesis, technopathy, scrying/true sight, teleportation/shadow walking,  portal manipulation … other’s i’m not sure of but he may have (astral projection, temporary super strength, invisibility)

* theory here (X)

#2) Will will have a “dark phoenix” moment at the end of s3 at the mall (X)

#3) Will and El team up to defeat the supernatural threat, and will be kidnapped at the end of the season by the U.S government. We probably won’t see him till s4, but Brenner is alive. (X)

4) Dustin and Erica (maybe Steve and Robin) use the radio tower to call in black-ops/military when things get bad. However they will be the ones that directly cause Will and El’s kidnappings. And it’s all because they (specifically Dustin & Erica) wanted to be patriots and believed in the lie of American Exceptionalism, and that their government are by default the ‘good guys’.

#5) Hopper will take a bullet for El and (probably) die .  - Hopper quote will probably be a ref to s2 scene foreshadowing of his death, El catches him “I got you, you’re going to be ok”. “yeah, you got me kid”(dies).(X)

#6-9) -The smoke monster (with the MF’s sentience) was left in the real world in s2 and is still the main threat- sending creatures and spreading the ‘zombie like virus’. But the Soviets also accidentally reopen the gate,  which is why the magnets stop working in town- and the soviets will be the secondary antagonists , for most of the season.

-The source of the virus will probably be the rats, and sources of water (like Lover’s lake and the pool).

-Soviet Mall: Robin discovers a dark secret- they’re quarantining/experimenting on those ‘infected’ in the mall’s basement. So Dustin, Steve, and Erica team up with her to investigate/fight.- Something weird is going on with that icecream (probably has to do with that green stuff steve was holding).But i’m not sure...

-Murray is an ex- Russian Spy, and will probably team up with Hopper and Joyce in their investigation (of the mayoral coverup of peoples disappearances). (The mayor also appears to have been bitten by a rat on the 4th of july). While Nancy & Jonathan investigate the supernatural elements of the mystery- the rest of the kids will probably be focused on the missing lifeguard, initially- until the greater mystery unfolds.

*more details of theories of 6-9 here (X)

10) Hints of a queer love triangle- between Will, Mike, and El (byler, mileven) -El dumps/fights with Mike (even if she still has feelings for him). Will is in love with Mike ( but how he feels for El may be up for interpretation). Byler and mileven fights.

Mike isn’t confirmed but is hinted as bi (like he has been for the past 2 seasons). Tension/stuff get’s awkward between the 3, until they and their friends/family come together to fight the big-bad (and they make-up_. 

 (Mileven might get back together) or no one ‘gets together’ romantically at the end of the season.

(X) (X) (X)

MINOR PLOT PREDICITIONS

1) Byers will struggle more financially, because of the mall, since Joyce works downtown. And it affect small town business

2)Will will struggle with his ptsd, , his self esteem/ dad-abandonment issues - as his friends and brothers drift further away from him.He also blames himself for Bob’s death. However, Max and El bond with him at one of his lowest points. - He may act out and be a bit self destructive , before making up with his friends.

3) El and Will struggle with ptsd,  father issues, their powers, quiet nature, and not having proper childhoods making them feel abnormal/feeling socially isolated.

4) -Will will destroy Castle Byers (using his fire powers or something else?) during the rain storm. I just think it would be a great idea symbolically for Will to destroy it given what the castle represents (X). El might run into him in the woods after he’s destroyed castlebyers. She is seen eavesdropping on their D &D before the fight , she lives in the woods where castle byers is, and  El finding him symbolically makes the most (X)

5) Billy is possessed by the MF, and he helps ‘build’ that monster for the MF to have a physical form it prefers more... (or as a henchman)? And the people who are captured are the mutated/fused bodies of those captured by possessed Billy .

6) WILL & Billy will be foils- and be paralleled and juxtaposed throughout the entire season. He’ll probably die (representing a cautionary tale of the perpetual cycle of abuse that some abuse victims can fall trap to (unlike Will, El, Max, and Jonathan).

CRACK THEORIES/Or Theories that won’t occur until s4

-I KNOW Sara Hopper is alive and a number - we probably won’t see her until s4. But if we see her in s3, she’s Robin. But it’s probably the first one, since the ages don’t quite add up. However, if it’s the latter I have an interesting theory on why she’s in Hawkins. (X)

- That Summer camp Dustin went to is more sinister than you think, we probably won’t know why until s4 (X)

-Ted Wheeler is a Soviet Spy.Probably wishful thinking (x)

- Will acts out and beats the sh*t out of hopper  (because of his dad/abandonment issues),which is why his face is messed up XD . I only say this because Will’s cannon spotify playlist has a song about a boy named Willie beating the shit out of a ranger (who wears a hat) named Jim .

- Billy and the Karen dynamic, is happening because Billy’s subconsciously looking for a mother figure, like the mom he lost.

- Either the Mf chose Billy at random. Or because possessing him, gave him a direct connection to Max - and it would be beneficial (because it would give him an indirect connection to Will and El) . Just a hunch.

- Also in s1, Brenner said the demogorgan was ‘calling to her’. So if she wasn’t on his list of interest before... after she closed the gate, she got on the Mindflayer’s list of interest (along with Will). I wouldn’t be surprised if the Mindflayer views El and Will as gods of our dimension given how much stronger their psyonic abilities are compared to other human psychics (who generally only have 1- pretty weak power according to the comics/ prequel novels). And because of this they both have to team up to fight the mindflayer.

* Really curious if any of these ideas are right or at least partially right XD

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[harringrovehouse]

the thing i’m most mad about with season 3 is there should and could have been a scene with will & billy before billy completely went under the mind flayer’s spell. will could have comforted him, telling him that it’ll be okay, that he understands how terrifying it is. there was so much potential 😭😭

I’m bitter about this whole season at this point lol. When they said they were gonna give Will a break they weren’t fucking kidding. They had his friends ignore him, had one of his friends (implied crush) says some pretty hurtful things to him, and then gave him the ability to sense the MF but again had his friends IGNORE HIM! I get they wanted to make the Max/Billy siblingship strong af but why didn’t Will also step up to the glass, why didn’t he go ‘I know you’re scared Billy, but fight it! We’re going to help you! It had me too! But my mom got it out of me. We’re going to get it out of you!’

They had Billy free and clear for a moment, he’s in the sauna, spell broken and they wasted time with Max asking for Billy to tell her about what he did?? Girl not important rn!! Ask later! This right here is why an adult would have been helpful! You mean to tell me El can close an inter dimensional gate but she can’t hold a sauna door closed and Billy back while someone (Hopper or Steve) covered the window back up so the heat could drive the MF out completely.

Imagine how epic of a scene that would have been. El holding Billy down as the MF fights her, Steve and Hopper holding something over the window to keep the heat in and the door closed, probably while Lucas and Mike try to help by leaning against it too, while Dustin (who’s fucking there because his friends didn’t abandon and bully him) is like ‘shit shit shit shit’. Max screaming for Billy to fight it, FIGHT HIM BILLY! FIGHT HIM! Will screaming that the MF is still there, encouraging Billy to fight it off! GO AWAY!!! GO AWAY!! I WON’T LET YOU HURT ANYONE ELSE! And El in Billy’s mind now, trying her best to see and to help and to aid him and this is when she sees his mom and she reminds him of her and bam! it’s over.

And when Hopper and Steve go into the burning hot room, tiles literally sizzling it’s so hot, to pull Billy off the floor and take him somewhere they can check him over, the MF is out of him, probably moved on to Heather as she was not only the second drone but also the most in control other than Billy, and they can plan now. They still wouldn’t know about the Russian lab or about Mrs. Driscoll so those surprises could have still been a thing, they don’t know about the MFs army yet but then Billy wakes up and he’s wrecked, like body and mind wrecked, worst than Will cause he had to fucking kidnap and enslaved people, and breaks down, cries to Max about Heather asks for forgiveness again and Max sits there in horror because ‘there are more hosts!’ and that’s when Nancy comes in, she’s there and yelling about some old woman with black viens in her face.

So again they split, half the kids with Nancy and Jonathan to investgate Heather’s house. Half the kids stay with Billy to make sure he doesn’t get flayed again. Hopper returns to Joyce’s side, because she’s sent the SOS out and they can now go fuck up the Mayor. Steve returns to work, with Dustin in tow cause hello Russian spy drama, and to get that bread. Literally all the other subplots get done and wraped up. They can even have the Suzie/Dustin duet cause again everything STILL happens the way it did in the mall only with lets say Heather or another drone, MAYBE ALL THE DRONES CAUSE DAMN HALF THE TOWN OUT TO KILL YOU! WHAT A HORROR MOVIE TROPE! HOT DAMN! AND THEN THEY MELT INTO A MONSTER JESUS. They still wouldn’t have saved all the Flayed but god the imagery.

And maybe the whole time they’re carrying around El AND Billy and Max has to be like ‘Billy we get you’re traumatized rn but if you don’t get tf up you’re going to die!’ And El can still get that bugrat thing in her leg and they can all get knocked around by the Flayed and Billy can still sacrifice himself but maybe this time it’s a fake out (hello another 80s horror movie trope! The fake out betrayal, not betrayal double cross triple cross!!!!) he ‘goes back’ to the MF and he lets it take him. He lets it in again so he can feel it’s pain, so he knows that they’re killing it, but he’s steonger now and he fights it, so it still stabs him to get to El but everyone is in the know so they’re prepared and WILLING to help when it happens. Nancy and Jonathan and Steve and Robin are all there to help Billy, to lift him off the floor and carry him outside so the soldiers can save his life.

And sadly Hopper dies because his death will have meant so much, and effected El so much. So we can still have that sad ass montage at the end but instead maybe also have Billy leaving too, maybe he’s going somewhere with Owens to get his mind right and in S4 he’ll come back to Hawkins, but the Byers still leave cause yeah they gotta get out (and now cause I’m a dirty shipper, Steve is watching Billy go, Max at his side and he says ‘don’t forget to plant your feet Hargrove’ and Billy looks back at him, ‘anything for you King Steve’ and it’s stupid and petty and Max has no idea W H Y but she’s like ‘we’ll be here Billy. We’ll be waiting for you. All of us’ and Billy looks at her, and then at Steve, and nods before getting in the inconspicuous vehicle with blacked out windows and that’s the last thing we see is a reflection of Hawkins as they drive off and then CUT!)

[teddy-feathers]

look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'

but here are some thoughts

Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities

metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does

roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out

its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)

i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability

Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....

but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is

she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever

got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was

Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....

Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way

the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too

but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday

and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview

and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.

and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.

and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman

so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when

and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit

and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?

so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman

and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten

minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would

metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?

they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?

and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy

and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out

something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure

"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"

"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"

"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"

and megamind does a huge public apology to minion

and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go

the blue people start making amends

metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal

Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this

until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting

the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations

anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?

the answer is hell yeah

and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve

megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him

Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids

of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it

minion and his race need a real name obviously

when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.

they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere

this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times

a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)

metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life

eventually space humans show up to check the place out

megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it

roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?

for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.

they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?

metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune

megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes

minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.

one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug

it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first

apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them