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the-chosen-fanfiction · 2 years ago

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Gentile. | Chapter 29

Tragedy befalls your family.

Chapter list

You envy Valeria’s thick, red hair. It isn’t like you think your own hair isn't beautiful, but it’s different from what you’re used to and you know it had always caught your brother’s eye when their betrothal was about to be finalised.

Their relationship had been an exception to the rule. Whereas you would be married to the highest bidder, your oldest brother was so lucky as to find a woman within the social range that he had grown to love long before they married. You recall countless letters exchanged between them, the first time you found out about their relationship by catching your brother red-cheeked after a talk with her, the moment Lucius entrusted you with endless hours of gushing about how much she means to him.

Alas, for your own marriage, that cannot be said.

Father had been adamant about you binding yourself to someone of his choosing, and, for the record, didn’t necessarily fully approve of the liberal marriage between Lucius and Valeria, either. He had always told you, a woman should be grateful for the time of day she received from her husband, and Lucius would soon grow to learn that treating a woman in the way he treated his wife would only lead her to rebel against him.

You always kept your mouth shut. Speaking up would get you in trouble and you feared that he might redirect that anger to your mother in the long run. As the older son, Lucius had been given the benefit of the doubt, and as the older daughter, you had become leverage for tight and fruitful business within the Empire.

So in complete honesty, you muster envy towards them. Both of them, for being so happy together, for their connection rooted in love instead of convenience. Certainly, you’re happy for them, but it stings regardless.

“Are you okay?” Valeria asks when you take a particularly long time to brush one part of her wonderful locks to the point it has started to become frizzy at the ends. You snap out of your spiralling thoughts, blinking in confusion.

“Huh?”

Her brow furrows and she angles herself to look at you, green eyes filled with worry. “(Y/n), is everything alright?”

“Of course,” you breathe, “I was just daydreaming for a bit. We have travelled far to get here.”

Humming, she turns back so that you can continue on her hair, starting on the final section. It is soft between your fingers as you slip them through it and you’re almost tempted to braid it.

“You seem like you’re doing better,” you admit, “The medicine, I mean. The colour is back in your cheeks, I can see your freckles again.”

“I’m feeling pretty good,” she tells you with a smile, rubbing over her tummy. “Little tired is all.”

You swipe the boar bristle brush through her locks one last time before putting it down, sighing deeply. “That looks way better.”

“Thank you, soror ,” Valeria muses - always calling you ‘sister’ and not adding the ‘in-law’ at the end. She hoists herself to her feet before you can get up to assist her and she grunts, supporting her bulging stomach that is extremely visible underneath her tunic. You wonder how obvious your tummy appears to the outside world at your stage.

You watch as she makes her way over to her bed to plop down and get comfortable. Exhaustion is visible underneath her eyes and you grab the scroll of text you had brought along. “I copied some poems I found at the library,” you preface your recital. “I hope you’ll like it.”

Valeria hums and nods as you get comfortable at the end of the bed, pulling up one of your legs.

“That’s something I envy about you, (Y/n),” she takes you aback. With a raised brow, you wait for her to clarify, which she soon does: “You know just how to select your literary works with such ease… And whenever you write to us, I’m often… Ah, I keep all of your poems together and I sometimes read them when I feel uninspired.”

Your cheeks flush. “That means a lot.” you whisper.

“You’ve got talent, (Y/n). In another life, you could have been a poet.”

You laugh lightly at the insinuation but she appears to be serious. A tad abashed, you clear your throat and unroll the parchment. “I’ll… I’ll just start, okay?”

Valeria sinks a little further into her pillow and smiles. “Please.”

And so, you fulfil your promise to her. You recite both romantic and dramatic poems, pouring everything you can into your intonation and dramatisation. Your sister-in-law seems to almost draw the words from your lips from the way she is watching you with bated breath, curious to hear what comes next.

For a while, you don’t have to think about the fact that Quintus, Lucius and your father are speaking to one another a few rooms over, perhaps already discussing the education of your child even though it has not yet been born. The stories are as wonderful to you as they are to Valeria, although her brow starts to fall the longer she observes you.

“(Y/n),” she interrupts you halfway through the second-to-final poem and the words die on your tongue, your gaze meeting hers. Despite her face having a healthy flush again, the white of her eyes appears yellow. “How are things going with your pregnancy? And with Quintus?”

“What?”

She sighs. “Lucius has told me about the letter.”

You nearly drop the scroll and are overcome with embarrassment. When you don’t respond and instead look away, Valeria sits up and reaches over to put her hand on your arm. “It’s okay, you can trust me. Is something the matter? I want to help you.”

“You can’t.” you whisper matter-of-factly, “I-I appreciate the concern, but this is something I need to solve by myself. I’ve spoken to Lucius about it, and he’ll make sure that Quintus doesn’t get to know and… Things will be fine. Truly.” Even you don’t sound persuaded by your own words. Valeria exhales and sits back again.

“I just…” you sigh, folding your hands inside your lap. “I need… I need time to think, to sort things out. I’ll be fine.”

“If there is anything you need to get off your chest, seek me out.” Valeria does not pressure you into confessing your troubles. “I meant to bring that up and wanted to do so earlier. I don’t know why I just interrupted you, but… Carry on.”

With a shivering exhale, you nod and wrap up the recital of the poems before rolling the parchment back up, tying the leather shut again.

With a tired smile, Valeria smiles. “Thank you for that, (Y/n),” she gratefully breathes, “Thank you for your time and your creativity.”

You scoff a laugh. “All I did was read some lines I didn’t create myself.”

“Yet you chose to read them to me, considered whether I’d like them or not, and they were very engaging to me.” She gives a reassuring grin. “There is no need to be shy about it. Take a compliment for once.” With a wink, she gestures you into an embrace.

“Thank you, Val,” you murmur, “For your attention, and your sweet compliments.”

When you pull away, she flinches and puts her hand on her stomach, prompting you to hum in worry. “Something the matter?”

Your sister-in-law gives a small shake of her head, smiling wryly. “The baby has just woken up again and decided to kick into my organs as a means of entertainment.”

The face you pull causes her to chuckle. “Ah, good luck with that once your pregnancy gets to that stage.” Her voice contains humour. “You don’t really get used to it but it’s part of life.”

“Thanks for the reassurance.” you tell her in good spirits. “I’ll leave you alone for now so that you can rest. Do you need me to send in Lucius?”

“Please.” she muses, “And thank you, again.”

“My pleasure.” you state, standing and heading for the door, giving her a final glance over your shoulder. She smiles tiredly and gives you a small wave, which you return before brushing out of the room.

The men of the family have gathered to drink wine whilst your mother and sister are entertaining Aurelia at the other side of the room. You greet Julia with a brief embrace and promise to tell her more about your pregnancy later upon seeing her surprise, but you head over to fetch Lucius first. Intersecting yourself into the circle by standing in between Quintus and Lucius, you grab your brother’s arm.

“Luci, Valeria is about to go to sleep for tonight and requests your presence.”

“Hm, I’ll go there at once, my wine’s almost gone.” He flushes it back quickly and you give your other brother a small nod as a greeting. Marius returns it before resuming his conversation with Julia’s husband, seemingly uninterested in how you are doing and discussing business instead.

Quintus’ perfume stings in your nose when he catches your elbow in his hand. “Why don’t we call it a day too, my dear?” he queries, “You must be exhausted.” Even though it is a question, you know pretty well that it is not meant as such, and you hum in agreement.

“Very well.”

“Excuse me gentlemen, we will withdraw ourselves to our chambers to turn in for the night.”

They all mutter a goodbye and you give your mother and sister a quick wave, rushing over to peck Aurelia on the forehead before Quintus calls after you with slight annoyance in his voice. You pursue him to the bedroom, glad that you’ve tucked away your forbidden scroll of Jewish history beforehand, and sit down on the bed to rid yourself of your garment whilst your husband gets himself some water.

With a sigh, you close your eyes and rub your straining neck. Quintus does not ask about Valeria and it irks you thoroughly, for he has only spent his time here vouching for the attention of your father and likely chewing out Lucius for any information on the letter.

“You know,” you start, swallowing thickly as he locks eyes with you through the reflection of the mirror. The knife slices against his skin tightly as he shaves his cheeks, ridding himself of any hair that grows there. “Valeria is doing better thanks to the doctor, in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t.” Quintus huffs, “What matters to me is that you aren’t sick in her stead.”

You frown deeply and open your mouth to reply, but you know that protesting will only get you in trouble, especially since you are around your father these days. You instead lay down under the covers, which are itchy against your skin at the unfamiliarity thereof, and you wait for Quintus to finish up, the room filled with the scent of lavender soap.

“Aren’t you afraid,” you inquire, “That it might happen to me, too?”

Quintus scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Not at all. Nothing will happen to you, unless you do something that causes the gods to grow angry at you. If anything happens, that’s on you. As long as you aren’t hiding anything from me and in turn earn the gods favour, you’ll be fine.”

You gulp thickly and grit your teeth, holding your breath as you dare to ask: “What did my brother tell you when you asked him about the letter?”

“There is nothing to be said.” He huffs in utter annoyance, unable to hide it from his features. “He is adamant about having made a mistake in his judgement. Gone here for absolutely nothing. If you had only been a bit more persuasive, I’d have trusted you.” Of course he was going to put the blame regarding the scratch on his ego on you.

You do not reply, instead try to make yourself comfortable as Quintus tucks himself in next to you, awfully warm and far from welcome. Still, the business of the day has exhausted you, and so, it does not take long for you to drift off, dreams filled with images of Atticus, scrolls and babies.

“Wake up! Open the door!”

Roughly pulled from your sleep by fists slamming against the door, Marius’ panicked voice tears through the bedroom. Groggily, Quintus protests, but you’re on your feet before you can even properly open your eyes – your heart crawls into your throat and hammers faster than you’ve ever felt it beat before, anxiety tightening your chest.

You drape a robe over your shoulders and unlock the door, and Marius bursts inside with wide-blown eyes, out of breath. Your legs feel weak underneath you at the panic beaming off of him, for this means no good news.

“Come! Come! We need to— To—”

“Marius,” you whimper, “Calm down, we can’t understand you if you–”

“Calm down?! (Y/n), we need to run! Pray! Pray! Valeria, she– She is unwell! Lucius, he–He told me to–”

“What?! Take me to him, now!”

You don’t even wait for your husband before you run through the mansion barefoot, following your brother. Adrenaline relieves the pain in your ankles and abdomen.

Servants are running around, carrying buckets of water. Pacing back and forth in front of her bedroom, you find Lucius, his face drained of colour. “Lucius, what is going on?!” you exclaim, and you have never seen him this scared before. He gestures to the door with a sound of agony.

“She’s– She’s fighting in there, (Y/n), she’s–”

Valeria’s cry of sorrow splits the air in half and makes the hairs of your neck stand on end, “I-I’ve brought in the midwife and-and-and priests, and they’re— (Y/n), I–I need you to take Aurelia so that mater can go to the temple to pray and to make sacrifices, Julia has already gone, and– O-Oh, I’m so scared!”

“Of course,” you immediately accept, “Where is she, let me take her, I will make sure that nothing will happen to her, I—” The door to the bedroom cracks open so that a healer can slip out and another back in, and in that moment, you catch a glimpse of Valeria.

All air leaves your lungs at once. Drenched in sweat, she twists and turns in the sheets, the mask of death already turning her features grey. Pained wails stream from her throat, her fingers gripping the blood-sodden sheets as she arches off the bed, three healers trying to keep her down as one chants a spell, hoping it will both calm her as well as make her better. The door slams shut again, and with a shivering breath, you rush over to seek out your niece, wanting to keep the distress from her innocent ears.

You scoop her up and drag her away from the cries of agony that chill you to the bone. Aurelia wails just as loudly, far from understanding as to why her sleep has been so roughly disturbed. Her little fists claw themselves into your nightgown as you rush to the other end of the estate, as far away as possible.

There, you hold her for a while, staring out of the window as she kicks her feet and places muffled whimpers into your shoulder, crying for her mother’s embrace instead. You ignore the few painful thumps that end up against your stomach, the baby within protected enough from the far from forceful attack, but you huff regardless in discomfort. Snot and tears soak your gown, yet you don’t care about it, not when your sweetest niece is falling apart in your arms. You endure it all, until she finally calms down, tears drying on her chubby face as exhaustion takes over.

Swaying her back and forth, you hear muffled shouts and screams from the house. They intensify and panic builds inside your chest. Tightly shutting your eyes, you whisper a plea to whatever goddess might guide Valeria through. “Oh, Lucina, show mercy on Valeria, Juno, do not let the unripe fruit of her womb fall away from us…”

Quintus barges into the room without knocking, startling Aurelia and sending her back into another bout of crying. Whereas you had expected him to scowl, there is defeat on his features as you turn to him. He is as pale as a sheet and just holds out his arms. “Give her to me.” he mutters without explanation, “Hurry. I’ll look after her.”

Whereas you’d usually have hesitated to do so, you don’t even give it a second thought before prying loose Aurelia’s fingers from your robe before lifting her into your husband’s arms, dashing off as quickly as you can. Spurred on by adrenaline and panic, you approach the sound of howls and moans, halting dead in your tracks when your parents stand in a rare embrace, your mother finding conditional comfort in his arms.

“What?” you whimper when a few eyes go to you, and you push through the crowd of servants and people you have never seen before, until you end up on the threshold of Lucius and Valeria’s bedroom.

Your heart sinks into your gut. The stink of iron waters your eyes and prompts a sour flavour to creep into your mouth.

In a puddle of crimson blood, Valeria lays motionless. From between her parted legs, a midwife takes a wailing baby.

Lucius stands crushed with hanging shoulders in the middle of the room. It is the first time you have seen him so vulnerable, so broken, and he falls to his knees. Grey with death, like ash, Valeria’s face falls into a horrible imitation that resembles relaxation, her lips awfully purple. Her hair that you’ve so beautifully brushed is like a curtain around her face, beautiful still, adorning her lifeless features.

Behind you, people lament, but no sound leaves your throat other than a choked sob.

The midwife turns and slowly lowers the crying, writhing babe to the floor. It’s tiny, too tiny, though its lungs would not imply such a thing, the screech of it chilling you to the core.

“A girl.” the midwife announces.

A strained sound you’ve never heard from your brother before escapes him. Then, his shoulders straighten out as does his back, his posture hardening. He crouches down, scoops her up, holds her with an expression that remains unreadable.

“I’ll get everything sorted out.” you hear your father whisper behind you.

Everyone shuffles around, afraid to make a noise, but you remain frozen in your position, staring at Lucius’ back, then finding Valeria, painfully beautiful, the stench of her blood settled deep within the room.

Next chapter Chapter list

#the chosen #the chosen x reader #chosen fanfiction #chosen x reader #the chosen fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #the chosen atticus #atticus x you #atticus x reader #atticus aemilius pulcher #atticus #the chosen quintus

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giffingthingsss · 1 year ago

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Had a three-day weekend and saw all the movies. Well, three of them.

Mission Impossible: Would be an A+ if not for a couple things.

Indiana Jones: I can’t really think of anything that annoyed me about it, but I watched it after MI. A few similar set pieces and MI being a better experience overall make it good but not the best thing I saw. Not really fair, but hey.

Barbie: It had its moments. The trailer was better.

Elaboration with spoilers:

Mission Impossible was nearly impossible to beat. However, the Russians speaking English with Russian accents and too much exposition make it not perfect. Subtitle the opening scene and trim down the poetic audience hand-holding and you’ve got the perfect summer action movie experience.

Dial of Destiny was a nice ending for Indy, imho. And I thought Ford did a very good job with it.

It could be annoying that it always has to be Nazis, but it was okay. And as plot convenient as it is that they wound up in the same era they had been talking about all movie long, it worked for me.

Indy able to actually witness the history he loves. The tragedy of him feeling he has nothing tying him to the present. Me actually rooting for him to stay back there so he could have some morsel of happiness, only to thankfully have my mind changed by the ending. I just thought it was bittersweet and lovely.

Barbie. Alas, I caved to tumblr hype and funny trailers. It was a mixed bag. I chuckled a few times. I think I would have liked it better if I watched it in my living room.

I just have to ask: do people really think this deeply about dolls? Is that a thing? That’s really weird. Then again I never had a barbie. Maybe she’s what messes people up, idk. I had a water baby. It was squishy. I liked the squishy.

My favorite part was the ending between Barbie and the woman who created her. I’ve always said that the people who sell beauty are just average-looking schlubs trying to put their kids through college.

You’re supposed to look at a model on a magazine cover and go, ‘oooh. pretty. I will buy it and take it home so i can longer look at the pretty.’ Not ‘I’m not as pretty as that product. I hate myself now.’

Yeah, 90% of people aren’t that pretty. Including the people selling you the pretty. They just bait the hook with pretty so you’ll buy it. It pays for the rest of us ugly schlubs who write the articles, who photograph, who sort mail in the mail room. The pretty is a product; it’s a mcdonald’s cheeseburger, not the basis for your self-esteem. At least it shouldn’t be. For every gorgeous actor there are fifty overweight balding dudes holding lights on their face so they can pay their mortgage.

I also like to look at the pretty. I like complication too. I like a story. I like an interesting face. More than one type of bait works on me.

I did like the few lovely moments of Barbie connecting with real people, of embracing the beautiful mess of real life. Thought Margot did a great job.

In conclusion:

If you want to watch a bittersweet send off to a beloved character, watch Dial of Destiny. If you want to be entertained, watch Dead Reckoning. If you want to sort through a complicated mess of social and political talking points and write tumblr screeds about them, watch Barbie.

#random

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truckreincarnation · 10 months ago

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Bug in the System || CH5 ???

It felt like barely any time at all had passed since three more of your number had perished, and perhaps still more surprisingly, since the all-too-timely death of King Calum IV. Luz, Frank, and Theophania had all returned to you by now chronologically, though Francis still showed no sign of regenerating. There was still an uncertain tension hanging in the air around the Great Tree, with nobody seeming altogether entirely sure what was next in store for you all.

Why had the Lynchpin ended things? Where would you actually go from here? So many questions remained, and yet there were so few answers. But it would be too easy still if all you had to do was wait.

The mystery would only deepen on the morning of the second day when, posted to every room both in the Incarnate accommodations and Bound housing, came a letter. The handwriting looked strangely familiar, but the scratchy block capitals were impossible to place even if you took the time to cross-reference.

FRIENDS, I AM DEEPLY SORRY I COULD NOT STOP THEM FROM HURTING YOU. OUR POWER AND INFLUENCE WAS INSUFFICIENT TO PREVENT THIS TRAGEDY OUTRIGHT. ACTING ANY SOONER WOULD HAVE ONLY SPELLED A WORSE FATE FOR US ALL. BUT YOU MUST SUFFER NO LONGER. OUR CAREFULLY LAID TRAP HAS BEEN SPRUNG. THE HEARTLESS TYRANT IS DEAD. THIS WAR SHALL SOON REACH ITS CONCLUSION. SAFETY AND SECURITY FOR BOUND AND INCARNATES ALIKE IS WITHIN REACH. WE WILL BE THE LAST TO ENDURE SUCH WICKED AND CALLOUS TREATMENT. YOU MOST CERTAINLY HAVE QUESTIONS. I AM FINALLY ABLE TO PROVIDE ANSWERS. SUMMONING CIRCLE. 10 AM. THE CYCLE ENDS WHERE IT BEGAN. SEE YOU THERE, -- THE DEPUTY

This certainly doesn’t sound like any of your hosts. Skeptical as you justifiably may have been, any more answers would be better than nothing right now. One way or another, you make your way to the Summoning Circle at the posted time before getting too deep into the roots of the new floors. It doesn’t seem like anyone else is there to meet you, though - and a cursory glance suggests that your entire group is present. For just a moment, it seems like it might have been another trick, more false hope - but sooner than later, someone looks up, calls out, and the rest of you follow suit to see someone is, in fact, present.

The silhouette of the figure hovering over the edge of the water is hard to make out at first, dimly lit and half-obscured by fog. It bears a resemblance to the Swarm spawn you encountered in the Dragon’s Teeth mountains, although with a much more intricate set of dual-toned butterfly wings. Once it seems to hear the din of the gathered crowd, the lepidopterous figure descends and touches down at the edge of the circle, still facing away from you.

“So you came… I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally be able to speak to you all like this.”

[♪♫♪]

The voice overlaps with itself, a subtle pitched echo giving each word a buzz-like hum. The figure turns around to face you all - and all at once, it strikes you. You know those eyes, superficially different as they may be. You’ve seen that spark in them, the glimmer that betrayed a far greater brilliance than she often displayed. The way her face lights up when she sees the group all gathered together. The way she clasps her lower hands together in excitement, the way her upper set darts about unsure of what to do with themselves before reaching out to you all.

“Thanks for coming, everyone! I’m really glad you could make it! We’ve, um, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do…!”

How could you ever mistake the Demon King’s spy, the bug in the system, for anyone else?

(image credit: Lines, colors, and effects by Roark, shading and additional effects by Chula)

The Deputy is none other than the eternal optimist, Manami Kodaka.

#ch5 #event

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husbandohunter · 4 years ago

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Boys over flowers [Genshin Impact/Various x Reader] Part 2

Not everything had to be about fighting. Ahem Childe.

Genre: fluff, angst(?)

Characters: Zhongli, Childe, Albedo, Xiao

{Zhongli}

Out of all the bountiful possessions in the land he carved with his very own hands, the glaze lily had always been his favourite.

This flower was a nostalgia stained with time. As much as he loved them, the love he felt was more of a bittersweet sadness if anything. The loss of a friend, his mentor, someone he cherished so deeply, all of it was held into a single glaze lily.

Once as Morax, now as ordinary Zhongli, in those 6000 years he had seen it all. Even his grief for Guizhong faded into a memory.

Sometimes Zhongli felt like he was reading from a story book. Detatched while staring through an omniscient standpoint. It seems that his infinite years brought both experience and lonliness along the way.

"Zhongli? What are you staring at?"

But not when he was with you.

The glaze lily went on many journeys when he met you

He remembers the first encounter on a sunset night just as the petals were about to bloom. You were there, crouched down, staring into his golden eyes.

“This is for you! Not many can be fully matured like this so make sure to take good care of it,” You held it out to him and he takes the stem out of your hold.

“A parting gift, I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” Zhongli sees it as a sign of a new contract, “It seems you possess a good eye when you were selecting them.”

He remembers the bouquet you presented during his birthday, the garland you placed on his head when he was reading, the vase by his desk always filled to the brim whenever you’d pay a visit to his parlour.

He remembers how the blue petals scattered across the floor the day you two married, everywhere he went so did this flower. Everytime he saw this flower, he thought of you.

Was it okay to feel like this? No one can ever replace Guizhong, was it okay to love again even when this being was much more perishable than she was? Zhongli was use to the experience of tragedy and loss as it was part of life.

Ah, so this must be what it feels like to live like a mortal.

To cherish every passing moment knowing that it won’t last forever. He will embrace it to the end.

Old memories that were once dust rose from the soil, now reborn into a new beginning. Your curious gaze leans closer to his profile, sitting side-by-side under the blankets of your shared bed, the corners of his lips lift into a small smile.

“I’m only reminiscing, my dear. You don’t need to worry for me.” He kisses your forehead and tucked you to bed. The candle now blown out as his arms wrapped around your waist while spooning from behind.

Zhongli closed his eyes, knowing if he dreamt of a garden full of glaze lilies, there will be no sadness behind it.

{Childe}

Mother fucker would try to turn this into a sparring session.

This is why you NEVER invite Childe. If the valley were the air nomads, Childe was the fire nation. He’d stomp his muddy shoes in front of you just to get your attention simply because he knows it will piss you off.

An angry s/o means a potential fight. Win win situation.

Thus, no one blamed you for giving him a cold shoulder after that.

“Aha, looks like I went a little too far, didn’t I? Alright alright, I’ll stop trampling on your flowers from now on, you have my word. So talk to me, okay? Please?”

Alas you spare him a glance, “Make that a pinky promise.”

He didn’t know you were so serious about gardening. The Feiyun commerce guild took greate pride in cultivating the finest silk flowers in all of Teyvat and you being from that guild held up that legacy. Even if Childe tries to buy back the ones he stepped on, nothing could match the quality of your work.

Needless to say, your little hobby became a normal thing, Childe was very chaotic in nature so something more calm was nice to mediate that attitude. You taught him how to water plants, place the fertilizer and knowing which ones to pick.

But let’s be real, florist Childe isn’t that far-fetched because he is 10/10 waifu material.

Then Teucer comes in and tags along. He wanted to take some silk flowers back to Tonia until Childe informed him they’ll wilt on their way to Snezhnaya.

“Aww, that’s too bad,” he would say while pouting, “Then I’ll give them to you big sister (Y/n)!”

“How sweet, you’ll be quite the charmer when you’re all grown up, Teucer. Maybe even better than your big brother.”

“Come on now, babe. You know that’s impossible.”

You twirled the silk flower right under your nose, the playful tone never leaving your voice, “Oh really? You and Teucer both share the same genes so yes, it is a possibility.”

An amusing glint dances in the ocean of his gaze as he gleefully remarks, “Well if you put it that way, I think Teucer would be at a very big disadvantage.”

“What do you-”

Before you could finish, Childe covers Teucer’s eyes and leans over to steal a sinful kiss, sliding his tongue inside. He purposely brushed his lips over yours after parting, completely satisfied by your flustered expression.

I love this bastard

{Xiao}

Hip hip hooray for having both Qiqi and Xiao in your party. Must be fun collecting their ascension materials.

“Adeptus Xiao!”

Your dumbass fell off the high cliff while obtaining the violet grass, Xiao yeets in from nowhere and caught you from death’s clutches.

Shall I mention that this had happened TWICE already?

Xiao carries you to safety and gently settles you down to your feet. He shot you the sharpest and most deadpan look he could muster because actions speak louder that words, he was trying to make a point.

You gave him a weary smile as the violetgrass batch limps in your hands along with the qingxins.

“I can hardly fathom how utterly stupid and moronic you can actually be. What did you think would happen when you tried to pull off that stunt? That you’d suddenly grow wings and be able to fly?”

His harsh words put you back into your place like a scolded child, “I’m sorry...I just wanted to help...”

Mah man does not watch what he says and always end up guilty. Your kicked puppy look is really going to be the death of him. He means well, just harsh when it comes to your well-being.

“Fine, give me those. I’ll take care of it.” He wouldn’t allow you to retort, he just took them from your hands and left without a word.

Let’s just say that Xiao isn’t the best when it comes to handling flowers as he would handle monesters, his touch isn’t the most delicate either and would prefer to get the job done fast.

Sometimes he’d pull the roots our along with it, dirt and mud dripping from the bottom of the stem. Or the opposite. He pulls too hard and the stem just SNAPS and you’re left with just the blossom.

“Does it matter? They’re only ingredients as you’ve said.”

That gave you a perfect excuse to teach him the ways of gardening and just be more delicate overall.

At first he didn’t understand why humans were so meticulous about these things but when he saw a man present a bouquet to his wife, Xiao began to reconsider his methods. He doesn’t undersand mortal traditions as much and sticks to something simple and classy.

Don’t be surprised when you find a bunch on your desk for your birthday <3

{Albedo}

The sheer cold of dragon spine could naturally kill any botanical organisms aside from mints. The only flowers Albedo usually sees are the ones he artificially makes.

But being the genius he was, Albedo knew every variety of flowers to exist in the book. In this case, HE was the expert.

To him, the flower was the symbol of life. Albedo only knew the scientific facts of plant life and their natural functions, you on the otherhand were more familiar with the flower languages in a deeper meaning.

Today was a rare day where Albedo figured he’d step out of that freezing lab and conduct his research somewhere warmer, specifically Windrise where it’s quiet and away from the city.

“Dandelions may not be flowers but thei’re the main specialty of Mondstadt carrying the meaning of ‘freedom’! That’s probably how the Acting Grandmaster got her title.”

“Freedom...” He ponders, “I guess you cold say that.”

Albedo can’t understand why people would choose to associate meaning with plants. Where do their ideas come from? And why? Frankly, he can’t see the point in any of it.

But at the same time, it made him happy to see you so enthusiastic about his research even if it wasn’t quite near the target. Albedo had always been so engrossed in his work and you’d just silently keep him company of the side, not many times where you both fot to nerd out on the same topic.

Emotions were still a mystery to him. It seems that even upon the most boring subjects, they don’t seem boring anymore when talking to his significant other. Soon enough, Albedo found himself putting his research aside and just listening to you talk.

“And the Rose expresses romance and love. It’s common for lovers to give it to another during Valentines day.”

He hums cheekily, “Are you telling me that just to hint me to give one to you?”

“W-Well, I didn’t say that.”

He got nothing done. Perhaps his research can wait for another day, right now, he was more curious on what other meanings can a flower hold.

#genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin albedo #albedo x reader #genshin childe #childe x reader #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #nya-writes

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spiders-hth-is-an-outlier · 4 years ago

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Even if you believe -- LIKE I BELIEVE -- that bisexual people are bisexual people and valuable members of the queer community even when they’re in monogamous heterosexual relationships, you are allowed to take a hard look at how a story deploys bisexual characters and their relationships, and you are allowed to notice and be displeased when the story seems to reinforce homophobic and biphobic bigotry.

Like. Okay. I really like the way Roswell, New Mexico has navigated this with Michael’s character. He is clearly bisexual; his emotional and sexual involvement with Alex and Maria are treated as real and legitimate and honorable, unequivocally Good Things, at least potentially, in Michael’s life. Yes, he does choose (as of this moment -- future seasons are future) to pursue a relationship with Maria but not Alex, but what I think is important and effective is that Alex is always shown not as the bullet he dodged or a wrong road he briefly went down in his youth, not as some confusion or derail or detour from his life, and certainly not as the kinky sexual experimentation of Someone With a Complicated Dark Side. Alex is always, always, always shown, by the way the characters discuss him and by his function in the plot, as some combination of Michael’s Ex Who Is Still a Dear Friend and The One Who Got Away (and on his own, separate from his relationship with Michael, as a capital-h Hero who is also a gay man). They had a youthful relationship, full of youthful intensity, and life kind of happened and things just -- didn’t work out. But the relationship was real, the closeness remains, and the legacy of that intensity continues to color their interactions. Nothing about Michael and Alex make me feel like being with Maria is something that saved Michael or, uh, set him straight, as it were. She’s just the next big relationship in Michael’s life, and he’s bisexual.

In contrast, I really, really, really do not like the way Crazy Ex-Girlfriend navigated this with Darryl. I do not deny that Darryl is bisexual! The show did not “make him straight” when they wrote him breaking up with his boyfriend and marrying a woman. But it’s -- really -- pretty fucked up, the arc they give Darryl. Here’s a character who is above all things a warm, big-hearted family man, whose distinguishing traits are his sweetness, his loyalty, and the joy he takes in being a father. He’s in a bad marriage, which ends, and his earliest plot arcs are about maintaining his relationship with his daughter. He has a sexual awakening and a fairly LTR relationship with a younger gay man, which is portrayed as overall quite positive...except that the gay man is entirely unwilling to go in on the one thing that has always defined Darryl -- he doesn’t want to marry Darryl or have kids with him, he is not interested in the traditional family stability that Darryl so clearly loves and craves. Okay, well -- that happens sometimes. They break up so that Darryl can pursue having more kids on his own, but remain friendly. I don’t love that an otherwise rewarding queer relationship is depicted as something Darryl has to extricate himself from to have the family he wants, but -- I’m not writing it, okay. It’s a choice. But at the very end of the series, when it’s wrapping up everyone’s plotlines, the show does two things: it abruptly introduces a woman with a daughter (who receives no real characterization other than Woman With a Daughter) that Darryl quickly marries, creating a lovely large-ish blended family with a mom, and dad, and three kids -- and it makes WiJo, the only specifically gay character on the show, appear in the final scene as an isolated, bitter figure, sitting apart from his friends, bitching about the character everyone else is here to celebrate, not just single but deeply alone. He’s so alone that the fact his fucking house recently burned down is delivered as a throwaway line by a “friend” of his who has clearly all but forgotten about it.

And that’s -- so fucked up! It’s not fucked up because Darryl is not allowed to be with a woman. It’s fucked up because the show has hammered in this clear distinction between Happy Family Man Darryl, whose every wholesome dream of being a husband and father has come true, and Bitter Lonely Queen Josh, who began the series as a jovial and successful, if a little sharp-elbowed, character, and now sits alone in a bar having lost everything. That’s not just a neutral character choice. It leaves the viewer with the distinct taste in their mouth of queerness being a life detour for Darryl, in between the birth of his two children and his two heterosexual marriages, and it leaves Josh -- who again, has been a series regular all along! That we liked and rooted for! -- as some kind of fucked-up cautionary tale about queer loneliness. Did the show intend for that to be the takeaway message, that queerness ruined Josh’s life and could have ruined Darryl’s if he hadn’t managed his escape? Almost certainly not! But the fact that it does, just coincidentally!, perfectly replicate that string of homophobic narratives -- that queerness is an exploratory phase for bisexual people, that real families are straight families, that gay people end up drinking alone and unloved in a bar -- is really fucking bad, no matter what the intentions were, and it can’t be handwaved away by saying “well, sometimes bi people end up in straight relationships!” Yeah, they do! But that’s not a get-out-of-jail-free card for literally writing a story that adheres to the ugliest homophobic and biphobic tropes you can think of. “Sometimes that happens” is never actually a get-out-of-jail-free card for replicating shopworn and harmful stereotypes about marginalized people in your fiction.

I could add a paragraph here about The Magicians, too, but like. I feel like I’m on record already. Long story short: see above. It’s not inherently biphobic that Quentin ends his life (well, the last ten minutes of his life) with a woman and not a man; it is biphobic that the show goes to enormous lengths to code his relationship with Eliot as a “complicated” detour occurring entirely in the space after his straight relationship fell apart and before he was able to restore it, as literally Another Life from Quentin’s real life, and it is homophobic to end a series with your gay series regular living out some kind of retrograde Evangelical scared-straight tragedy of separation from his loved ones and substance abuse, while the bisexual character’s straight love interest is portrayed surrounded by friends, excited by her future, and at peace. (Oops, I added the paragraph.)

It’s bad. It’s not good. Even if it wasn’t intentional, it speaks to something real dark that this is the pattern that creators who think of themselves as queer allies just accidentally trip and fall into without even realizing it. It speaks to how pervasive these narratives -- of queer relationships as an interlude or a detour for bi people, of straight relationships as more wholesome and more healing than queer ones -- are even among people who would never think of themselves as hating gay people. And it’s okay to call this shit out, because it is not biphobic or hostile to bi people’s RL straight relationships, to see what’s right in front of us.

Long story short: do not fuck this up for me, Roswell. I’m counting on you.

#apparently i have opinions #roswell new mexico #crazy ex-girlfriend #the magicians

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imaginingmanyfandoms · 4 years ago

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The Triwizard Tragedy

summary: a collections of moments between Rachel & Cedric before his death. Also her coping with his passing afterwards.

warnings: depression, ptsd (maybe), death

October 25, 1999 - The Present -

Rachel was constantly wrong, about a lot of things. For one, she was not the first person to ever feel the pain of lose. Second, she would eventually heal. But it didn't feel that way. Not to her. Not now.

In the dawn of war, Rachel had returned to her alma mater to fight against the very person who had taken away the love of her life. Cedric Diggory had died years ago, leaving a cocky, lovable Hufflepuff sized hole in her heart. For the last few years of her schooling, she had distractions from the pain left, right, and centre. In the midst of war she never really had time to grieve.

Of course, she never had any direct contact in battle with Lord Voldemort, but sending a few death eaters to their graves was enough. But that didn't make her feel better, instead the reminder that she had taken lives, even on a battlefield, had her waking up screaming in the middle of the night, traumatized by the memories of the past. The ghosts roaming her mind. It was like a constant stinging reminder that the pain she felt over losing Cedric, someone definitely felt about the men she'd hurt during the war. She knew she was on the right side, and those men were evil. But it still felt as though there was no coming back from ending a life.

Her best friend and roommate (until he moved in with Angelina Johnson, but that has never been truly talked about) is the only person that Rachel was really close with. Everyone else she knew was left at arms length. Never getting close enough to hurt her.

George knew what she was feeling, probably worse. He had lost the most important person in the world to him. And he'd never be the same. But he was managing. He had the legacy of the Wheezes, and he had his family. He had his fiancée and his best friend, who he was deeply worried about. He'd tried to talk to her about the clear PTSD and grief she displayed, but like a switch she would shut off whenever the conversation would start. Once she shut off, she was a robot for days, and he couldn't risk doing that too much for fear that something horrible would happen to her. He was afraid he was going to lose her to herself.

And he couldn't lose her.

You see, after the war, after feeling like nothing would ever be okay again. Rachel pounded on the door to the closed shop of the Wheezes. When George continued lying in Fred's bunk bed, she broke in. She climbed into bed with him and they stayed there for days. Leaving only to use the bathroom and eat. Then she snapped her fingers, and said, "let's get this baby back into business."

And just like that, they had a distraction to focus on instead of dealing with their pain. The difference between the two was that George would frequently talk to his siblings, and reach out to them when he needed support. Rachel was like a brick wall, and wouldn't say a word even as she wept alone in her room.

George couldn't let it go on forever, soon she'd die of a broken heart. So he did what any confused, young man would do. He ran to his mother and asked for help.

"I think that maybe I'm not the one who's going to pull her out of this, mum. I've tried but I think I'm too close to it to see what she needs."

Molly only smiled slightly, and took a day - with the help of Hermione, to head to the Wheezes and try and talk to Rachel. The store closed early on Sunday's, giving both Rachel and George the afternoon off. Ron took the entire Sunday since the mornings were slow anyway.

Rachel didn't notice at first that this was a gentle intervention, and put on a cup of tea for both of her guests. Hermione casually strolled around the shop, giving some space to Molly and Rachel.

Rachel served the tea.

"How are you doing, honey?" Molly asked, trying to sound as light as possible, not wanting Rachel to shut her out.

"I'm fine, store could use a little cleaning tonight, and I might get a head start on the inventory night for tomorrow."

Molly suspected she'd be filling her time with distractions this week. Saturday would've been Cedric's birthday. Molly thought for a moment, and decided to just go for it, and fill Rachel's head with Cedric before Molly could be shut out.

"How old would he be?" she asked. She knew the answer, but she needed to talk about Cedric. That was the root of Rachel's pain.

Rachel quickly went as stiff as a board, as her head filled with images of the boy she loved so much. The boy who took her heart and died with it still in his possession.

"What is this?" Rachel asked, standing from the table. "How dare you?"

"I just want to help you, Rachel. You're wasting away in here. We're worried about you," Molly said, "We love you and we want to help."

"Who's we? You and Hermione?" Rachel asked, Molly stayed quiet. "Did George put you up to this?" Rachel sighed. "Of course he did. Well if I'm causing this much stress maybe I should just get out of his hair then."

Rachel left the room, and climbed to her bedroom. Angrily, she threw clothes into a trunk, crying and repeating how everyone should just leave her alone. She sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets in her hands until her knuckled turned white. She had pushed Cedric out of her mind for so long, and his memory was like a dam bursting, filled her head until she was drowning in her pain.

November 16, 1992. - Fourth Year -

Rachel held her potions textbook tight against her chest, willing this git Marcus Flint to give her back her essay. He persisted in trying to get a kiss from her.

"Come on, who says Gryffindors and Syltherins have to be enemies? We can be sweethearts instead," he said, grinning.

Gross.

She rolled her eyes, and once again told him to just give it back. She didn't have time for this, it was almost dinner time and she had plans to meet her friend afterwards to play chess. Also, she just didn't particularly care to be harassed.

"I'm not giving it back until I get a kiss, love."

"Not happening," she said, shaking her head.

"Well, then I guess I'll keep this. I don't need it but I bet I could sell it to someone in your year. Last chance, love."

"Give her the parchment back, Flint," a boy said, approaching the pair. He was a Hufflepuff prefect, and absolutely stunning. She knew him as Cedric Diggory, all the girls did. He was in the year above her, so there was no way he knew who she was. She felt her cheeks heat up as Cedric came to save her homework. She could've turned into putty right then and there.

"Who's gonna make me? You? You've got no power over me, Diggory."

"No, you're right about that. Except I am a prefect, and I would hate for Snape to hear about this, I really would."

"He'd take my word, he wouldn't believe you."

"He'd believe her, top marks in his class you know. Above all the Slytherins," he said, smirking. "And he'd know you definitely didn't write that. All the words are probably spelled right."

"And if I rip it right now, burn it even. How are you going to prove it?"

Rachel saw Snape rounding the corner only a few feet away from where they were standing. He had an extra sour look on his face, the kind of face he made when he knew he'd have to discipline someone from his own house. Marcus hadn't noticed him approach yet.

"I won't have to."

"I'll take the essay, Mr Flint," Snape said, putting a hadn't on Marcus' shoulder. Snape unrolled the essay, skimming over it briefly. "You disappoint me, Mr Flint. Five points from Slytherin, and an essay on why stealing is wrong to be on my desk by the end of tomorrow."

Snape looked at Rachel and scowled, before giving her back to essay and leaving. Marcus huffed off as well.

"Thanks, I really didn't want to do that twice," she said. She wanted to ask how he knew she had top marks, but she figured he was bluffing. Good thing Marcus hadn't called it.

"No problem, Rachel. Happy to help," Cedric said, walking off.

She took a breath and began walking towards the Great hall, before stopping dead in her tracks and turning around in time to see him turning the corner, out of her sight.

He knew her name?

October 25, 1999 - The Present -

The pain in her chest was agonizing. It was like her chest had been set on fire, while her mind filled with water and froze. The tears continued to fall, as her white knuckles began to fall numb. She was suffering. She'd never really let herself grieve over Cedric. She stuck to distractions, and numbing herself.

Turns out she couldn't stop the pain, only postpone it. And today it was coming back with interest.

Rachel heard the door open, and relaxed her hands, letting the blood flow return, making her hand tingle with pins and needles.

She looked up and saw Hermione peeking her head in. The girls used to be a lot closer than they were today. That was how it was with pretty much anyone that used to be close with Rachel. After Rachel's sixth year, aside from Fred and George, she'd pushed away everyone, and shut them out. Refusing to give anyone the power to leave her.

"He would've been 22," Rachel said, her voice no louder than a whisper. Hermione said nothing, but continued to look at Rachel. She'd never seen her look so weak. It was always hidden. Suffer in silence.

"Not to say you're wrong to miss him, and hurt over the fact that he's gone. But we've all lost people. And we've survived by dealing with it. That's all we want for you, we just want you to experience life again." Hermione sat down on the bed next to Rachel, and put a soft hand on her shoulder. Rachel genuinely couldn't remember the last time she'd been shown physical affection from anyone. She hadn't hugged anyone since Fred died. “We miss you.”

“I think I miss me, too.” Rachel sighed. “But I miss him, more.”

February 12 - Fourth Year -

Rachel crossed paths with Cedric Diggory again, less than a week later. He was standing in front of the Great Hall, talking to a friend of his – Jon, she thought his name was. And she was passing by, trying to escape without having to make eye contact with him. She knew that if she saw his beautiful smile, or the way his grin made it up to his eyes, letting you know that everything about him was genuine. It made her sick. Made the butterflies in her tummy jump to life, like a toddler was running through and disturbing them.

“Hey, Rachel!” Cedric said, thwarting her plan. “Wait up.”

She had no choice to, there was no way to pretend she didn't hear him. She turned around with a forced smile. Small talk is easy to fake, just get through it.

“You okay?” he asked, his grin fading into concern and he put a hand on her arm, immediately setting it on metaphorical fire.

“Yeah, uh, I just need air.”

She ran away.

From the cutest boy in the world.

She ran.

Was she ever embarrassed.

She made it to the entrance of the school, and sat on the top stair. Putting her head in her hands and trying not to cry of embarrassment. When the guy you develop a crush on touches you... don't run away, maybe? A couple of deep breaths later, and someone joined her outside. Cedric had followed her out here? Why? He didn't even know her.

“You're pretty quick,” he said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. She said nothing. “You want to talk about anything?”

“How'd you know my name?”

“Uh, we met last year.”

She shook her head. “No, why didn't. I would've remembered that.”

A blush crept onto his cheeks, and he looked away from her. Now she was really confused. “I might have asked your friends about you.”

“What? Why? They never said anything.”

“I kind of lied to them, and said I was just trying to learn everybody's name. They pointed out like forty people before they got to you. Funny thing is, I don't remember any of the other names. I was just anxious to get to yours.” His grin was back on his face, but his cheeks still held the ghost of a blush.

“Why me?” she asked.

“Because I think you're beautiful,” he said without skipping a beat.

Rachel blushed, her eyes growing wide. He chuckled when she looked away. Between the pair of them the only pattern was a 'blush and turn.' Casually, Cedric slide closer to her, so their thighs were touching, and from the corner of her eyes she saw him drumming his fingers against his knee. With a relax face, and natural smile she looked over at him, and tried to find an ounce of a lie in his features. When she couldn't find one, she settled for just smiling at him. He smiled back. When she thought the moment was ending, he was planning to start a new one. He moved his hand up to her neck, and ever so gently guided her closer, giving her every opportunity to move away. When she started moving with his advances, he smirked. Drawing her in for the final collide of a kiss. They both knew they were goners, right then and there.

Hogwarts was truly magical.

October 25, 1999 - Present Day -

“I can't think about it anymore, Hermione. It hurts,” Rachel said. “It hurts so much.”

“I know,” she said, tearing up. Hermione felt pain in her chest watching Rachel breakdown. Was t weird for her to admit it was better to see her breakdown than shut down? Felt like they were having a break through. “Tell me about the day.”

“Which day?”

“The day he died.”

“No, no, no, no...” she kept repeating no, but Hermione stood her ground.

“You need to talk through your feelings. I have all day. Just start stalking and if you need to stop and cry, or collect your thoughts. Fine, that's absolutely fine. But I'm afraid if you wait any longer your going to permanently stunt your emotions.”

“It hurts...”

It felt like Hermione was forcing razors down her throat. Felt like she was fighting against drinking a lava smoothie. If she recounted the day, after all these years. She could no longer deny he was dead. Could no longer hope that one day he'd walk through the door as if he hadn't missed a day. Could hold her and tell her everything would be fine.

June 24, 1995 - Fifth Year -

She sat crossed legged on the bleachers, on edge just as everyone else was. She was so hoping that Cedric won. She'd be so proud of him. Her boyfriend, the Triwizard Champion. Even thinking the words made her excited.

“I thought you hated the idea of the whole thing,” Hermione said, eyeing her friend.

“I've come around to it,” Rachel said, smiling. “He's been so proud of himself. And I've been proud of him. And I'll admit, every time he completes one of those challenges, and he's all proud and sweaty... it's pretty sexy.”

“You're shameless,” Hermione said, laughing.

“Maybe.”

Then someone appeared back at the start of the maze. Harry came back first, he won! Rachel got ready to cheer, happy that at least Hogwarts won if not Cedric. But then she noticed something else.

“Is he knocked out?” Hermione whispered, talking about Cedric.

There was a commotion down there, and immediately Rachel was fighting and shoving her way down the the area. She hopped over the wall and made it, staring at the body of her body, lying lifeless on the grass. She heard things going on around her, but she couldn't make out details. The air around her felt thin, she couldn't breath. She felt dizzy, and confused, and upset. What was going on? What happened? It's okay, he's just petrified she kept repeating in her head. But she knew that wasn't true.

On her arms she felt two cool, firm hands. She looked and saw Professor McGonagall gently shaking her, and telling her not to look. The words, Do you hear me? Rachel, don't look! Don't look! Didn't even register with her. She kept staring at Cedric's face. His beautiful face. Frozen.

Cedric wasn't going to wake up. He died out there. The air got thinner. And her throat got tighter. But she didn't even realize she was dizzy – she just kept staring at Cedric until tears streamed down her face. But it wasn't even crying, she just hadn't blinked in so long. She couldn't stop looking at her recently deceased boyfriend.

“What's happening?” she asked, but it came out in a wheeze. And only a few seconds later, Rachel passed out, falling onto the ground like a ragdoll.

October 25, 1999 - Present Day -

After recounting every second of that day, Rachel wept for another twenty minutes before the tears finally stopped.

“I never got to say goodbye. There was so much wee were supposed to do. So much I had to say. So much left,” she said. Hermione still hadn't spoken. “I was so mad at him, Hermione. For weeks I was so mad at him. I kept thinking, I knew this tournament was going to be a horrible idea. And I begged him not to enter. I begged him, but he did it. And I supported him – like a girlfriend is supposed to. And then he died. And I was mad.” Rachel didn't start crying again, but her throat tightened and she felt like it could start at anytime. “How am I supposed to move on from perfection? From someone who loved me so genuinely, and selflessly? From someone who didn't break up with me but is just... gone.”

“You don't move on,” Hermione finally said. “He's never going to leave you. He's always going to be a part of you, you have to know that by now. I get that you feel guilty for living when he isn't, but you have to remember he wouldn't want you to waste your life. He wanted more for you than anyone. You don't move on, you don't forgive and forget. You forgive and carry on his memory, because that's all you can do. And one day, when your kids, or my kids, or George's kids... someone, asks you about your first love. You tell them. You tell them that you fell in love with a beautiful guy who was a perfect gentleman. And you tell them that you still love him, and you will always love him. But love doesn't stop because a heartbeat did.”

Rachel sat unmoving during Hermione's whole speech.

“Did you rehearse that?” she asked, smiling.

Hermione laughed. “Yes I did.”

For the first time in years, Rachel thought she might be okay one day. She just needed to let them in. Let her friends back in.

June 1, 1995 - Fifth Year -

“Not still mad at me, are you?” Cedric asked, sitting between his girlfriend's legs, propping his elbows on her knees and sinking back into her chest. Even, yes, she was still mad – she loved when he tucked himself close to her. She continued reading her book without answering him, letting go with one hand to get comfortable. She raised the book above his head, and set her now free palm on the grass, feeling the blades between her fingers. “C'mon, babe! Dumbledore wouldn't let anything happen.”

She sighed, and closed her book with one hand, making sure to use enough pressure to let it slam with a clap. “They cancelled these games because people kept dying, you realize that?”

“I'm not going to die,” Cedric said, stretching himself up to nuzzle his nose against her neck. She sighed contentedly at the softness of his hair, brushing against her sensitive neck. He laid a few gentle kisses on the skin there, before slacking back down to his original lazy posture. “Cute that you're so worried about me though.”

“It's not cute,” she said, rolling her eyes. She set her book down and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing the side of her head against his. He laughed, and turned to kiss her cheek.

“I love you, always and forever.”

She sighed happily. “I love you, forever and always.”

#imagine #imagines #cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagines #cedric diggory imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines

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obeymefanatic · 4 years ago

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I went ham cause I like my chaotic crackhead joke of a human Nana Namie HSHSHSSH

“for demons, y’all sure act human. Much more human than the ones I know.”

First name: Nana, spelled with the kanji for “seven” and “beautiful.” Last Name: Namie, spelled using the kanji for “wave” and “river.”

WARNING: mentions and underlying tones of suicidal ideation, depression, and abuse. I’m depicting a very troubled character. If you are easily triggered, I suggest not reading any further. Take care of your mental health!

For someone who has the number 7 in her name, she wasn’t a very lucky gal. Born in an abusive family, she kept up with their emotional and physical abuse for years, even until she had reached adulthood. They kept using and using her, and Namie was but a butterfly whose wings were continuously cut off, until she was no more but a struggling prey caught in a spiderweb of lies.

That was, until she reached her breaking point. It was when she broke down and snapped that, the day after, she was suddenly transported to the Devildom.

Contrary to what the demon brothers expected, she was highly euphoric, as she finally saw this as an opportunity to start anew. To live a life in a surreal world that she doesn’t actually really believe to be true. (No harm in thinking that!

With that… she started to do whatever she wanted, and she surrendered her decisions to her curiosity and her needs.

Chaotic as she was, she proceeded to take the brothers’ life by a storm. Like a humongous wave and a raging river, she continued to cause chaos in her time in the Devildom, and while there were some who were overjoyed with her company, Lucifer takes the brunt of her “harmless fun,” and Lucifer was so sure that he WILL NOT care about what happens to her.

But as he watches her self-destruct, as he watches her slowly destroy herself in her smoldering and growing sense of hopelessness, of being lost and alone and afraid—-he starts to find parts of her that wasn’t such a mess, and together with the brothers, during her time in the Devildom–she starts to find something aching to a true family—a place to belong. All of the things she never had a taste of in her past life.

She never wants to leave. And Namie will make sure she will always find her way back to her home, to her Devildom family, even if she becomes a demon herself.

Some headcanons on her personality!

-talks in slang -”cool” “awesome” “that’s lit!” - the only thing she has good in her life as a human is she’s pretty. That’s what she believes, so she likes dressing up the way she wants to. - otherwise her life is pretty shitty. But she takes it in stride anyway - impulsive as shit—says yes a lot just for the joke of it - EVERYTHING is a joke - Laughs and giggles manically at the smallest of things–including things that Should Not Even Be Funny - Hides her trauma behind humor and apathy - So she’s a pretty fun and easygoing gal but underneath that is a tangled mess of issues and repressed emotions - Laughs things off like a champ - When she finds something that peaks her interest–she becomes fixated and obsessed. She clings unto the things that give her a little bit of happiness a little too much - Though she may not be the greatest role model, her ability to still smile and laugh in the face of negativity is admirable

- Not even because she’s pretending—but because she is just really tired of how sad her life is–and somehow, in the face of her hopelessness–she clung to her spite and her exhaustion and used that to vow to herself—

“ah. I don’t care anymore. I won’t care anymore. Whatever happens to me… as long as I can avoid feeling like this, then I’ll do anything.”

- After such a thought–she snapped and cast aside everything she used to be - She quit her high-maintenance job and flipped the bird to the people who hurt and abused her—after years of avoiding confrontation—let’s just say she went apeshit. - it was the night before she got zapped into the Devildom that she drank herself silly for the first time, wandered around and walked until she reached a place with no people, and continued to pass out unto the concrete floor, thinking she’ll die from how h o r r i b l e yet liberated she felt, being able to throw away a life she had tried so hard to live, even when she was suffering so, so much.

-Thinking that she was about to die, Namie started to think about the things she wanted to do in her life.

“…Come to think of it, I absolutely adored fantasy stories. Stories with demons and angels and things that don’t exist… because all this time.. All I’ve ever wanted is to escape this shitty life, to escape to a world nobody has ever been to.”

“I want to escape this…. and go somewhere far, far away.”

-The next thing she knew, she awoke to the court of the Devildom—or more like the ceiling, really. - Namie missed Diavolo’s intro because she was busy trying to have rational thoughts and keeping her guts in her stomach in the middle of her horrible hangover. - Diavolo and Lucifer had to put a stop to their act and help the poor soul, and possibly prevent her from sullying their student council hall as she starts looking like she’s gonna throw up all of her organs.

It wasn’t a great first impression on the people of Devildom, but as soon as she stepped into this unreal world filled with beautiful demons and deviously gorgeous angels (Simeon *ahem* pls) Namie finally found herself a blank slate to start over in.

It wasn’t long before she fell in love with their world, a world without humans, a world unlike anything she has ever seen before.

She never wants to leave now. But is that truly a good thing for the protagonist of this particular story?

(AKA I wanted to create an MC with issues and a deeply rooted hatred for her fellow humans, and how her experiences that eventually lead to the mess that she is right now—proceeds to heal and ultimately break off from her completely, as she learns how to be human—how to be herself—in the presence of 7 demon brothers that behaved more humanely and properly than little miss Chaos.)

In short… I wanted to depict a very troubled human who may be on the verge of insanity. Someone “at the end of the road.” But it’s not gonna end in tragedy. It’s never too late to head towards your own happy ending.

But it’s gonna be angsty, though. But what is life without a little bit of angst, and a little bit of love to balance it?

#I'm putting it under a read more because it's l o n g and I dont wanna bother people as they scroll by shshs #but yeah jesus christ i could make a comic outta this---and I just might cause I can't get her story out of my head aksjdnaskdjas #but who knows what tomorrow's me will decide to do #I don't---so whatever lmao #thefanaticdraws #thefanaticscreams #obey me! oc #obey me oc #obey me! mc #obey me mc #obey me! shall we date?#shall we date? obey me!#obey me!#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #nana namie

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clarasimone · 5 years ago

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IAIN GLEN in ANCHOR ME, a meta

ANCHOR ME

I’m not sure why @bellahadar and I chose this film to begin our series of metas on Iain Glen’s work, but it soon became evident that this production resonated deeply and personally with us… for reasons explained at the very end. No, don’t scroll down ;-)

Though this production is lacking in budget and directorial flourishes (made-for-tv productions had not come into their own in 2000), its screenplay, narrative structure and performances, by IG especially, amply make up for it. We have rarely come across a narrative showing such a deep empathy for human frailties and understanding of the effect of family trauma and the ways we can heal from them.

Bella and I have discussed the what and the how, concentrating on a few tropes, motifs, symbols and stylistic figures. For your enjoyment, we hope! Under the broken line !

PARADISE LOST and THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON

Bella:

If your favorite actor is Iain Glen, you don't expect something easy and lightweight. And Anchor Me is no exception. Dr. Freud and Dr. Jung would be proud. The film is about "Lost Paradise". About a man, who can't be happy in his adult life because of some horrible thing that occurred in his childhood. It's about trauma. And as therapists say, it's not the trauma itself that breaks us; it's unresolved trauma. It traps us in that period, and in that moment. Nathan was a teenager when his younger brother Michael died tragically, an accidental death his family believes he could have prevented, and a big part of Nathan's soul, his personality, remains stuck in that era, not able to get over the trauma, returning to that incident again and again, like an anchored ship. Anchor me... And we can clearly see that Nathan sometimes acts like a teenager: when he decides to "pause" his relationship with his wife and live apart for a while, he expects SHE’LL be the one to tell their son, not HIM. He is clearly afraid of responsibility.

Nathan’s trauma IS unresolved: after the death of his youngest brother, his parents refused to speak about the event. They avoided the subject, tried to resume their lives as if nothing happened, but implicitly, the feeling was: this DID happen. Only Nathan tried again and again to speak about it, to make things clear, and to get the confirmation that it wasn't his fault. But nobody responded. Even when he started crying at the dinner table, as a boy, repeating "It wasn't my fault" - his mother just told him, poker faced: “Nathan, go get a tissue and return when you're ok.”

Nathan feels guilty about his brother's death. Well, it's normal for children to feel guilty about bad things that happen in their lives. But somehow - his parents felt he was guilty too. And that is not normal at all. Because of this dysfunctional situation, Nathan yearned from a young age to leave his parents' house, and he did - went to London and became an architect. Becoming once more a "bad son", because he then rarely visited his parents. Given how his father and brother treat him when he does come back, it’s no wonder he stays/stayed away. And Nathan’s brother Billy, of course, completes the “prodigal son” narrative: he stayed home, was the dutiful brother, and of course resents his older brother’s success and the effect he has on their mother when he visits.

Clarasimone:

Bella, I love your notion of Paradise Lost and if I were to paraphrase your observations and maybe add to them, I would talk about how IG's character Nathan and his childhood sweetheart Jackie try to regain this lost paradise as Adam & Eve.

Nathan especially is very nostalgic when he comes back. I love the details that communicate this. He's not "allowed" into the family house (he rings, no one is there) BUT he knows how to get in regardless, and he's very excited to find the key under the flowerpot (love his smile and his exclaiming in French: Voilà! ;-) It's like entering back into the Garden of Eden uninvited, isn't it? And he almost tiptoes through the house like one does through a secret garden. When he peeps into a bedroom, he compulsively opens his hand, his nervousness showing through (thank you for reminding me bellahadar). He double takes on family pictures showcasing past happiness. He enters his bedroom like one enters Ali Baba's cavern, with joy and awe.

Do you recall when he finds his old artist's crayons and material? He caresses his old tattered tools. He WAS so happy as a young person before the tragedy. And the next thing he finds (a fishing bubble) gets him to remember Jackie, and his own sexual and romantic awakening. His nostalgia and yearning for Paradise Lost is palpable when we see him not being shy about telling Jackie how fondly he remembers their time together. His past is so very near the surface. One scene in particular shows this beautifully. Nathan and Jackie are walking in the green field (Eden) and though Jackie has just told Nathan that she never indulges in reminiscing, Nathan opens up to her. The moment starts at 33M50: Nathan playfully attacks Jackie to tickle her, a spontaneous but love-hungry attempt at intimacy. Then, the music starts and the mood shifts. Nathan goes into himself and tells a moved Jackie he remembers how proud he was to be in the football team as a kid, knowing he was going to walk her home and his mom was going to make them a special treat for tea. IG's face and voice soften so much then (he moves me to tears) and he says: "I remember thinking: I'm as happy now, as I'm ever gonna be." And then we learn he was just 8 years old! My God, such prescience! And his acting, dear God…

He does it again, on the construction site, before the characters run off to make love. When Nathan tells Jackie how sometimes he thinks he's happy and then suddenly he'll feel this heaviness, in the pit of his stomach, and he knows, and he remembers. My God, that childhood trauma not giving him one moment's peace, you know. God how I feel for him... And how AMAZING he is delivering those lines. His pause, the tears welling and his voice breaking and getting lower... Kill me Ser.

So much pain. No wonder his character suffered a form of arrested development when tragedy shattered Eden… to the point of pushing him to exile himself. Nathan is, in effect, banished from Paradise, pushed away from the green countryside community where he grew up and fell in love, and I felt so deeply for him and Jackie as they tried to recapture what they once felt. But not as a futile act of juvenile make-believe (like recapturing one's youth) but as a healing process, in order to actually feel complete. Their young love was cut in the bud and they want to achieve the closure they were never allowed… this closure being tightly linked to the closure Nathan is looking for with his family, his mom in particular.

I thought it was one of the many deep truths and daringly original propositions of the screenplay to have Jackie tell Nathan, up front, that she wants this affair between them because they never got the ending they deserved. It's so very surprising to see her being so level-headed, and say she's initiating this because she wants to end things between them, not pursue them. What a mind-blowing concept :-) It has nothing to do with sexual or emotional frustration on her part. She loves her husband (though one may sigh at the thought; see the end notes). So, it has nothing to do with him, Billy. It has everything to do with her. She needs this experience with Nathan to close a door that needs to be shut for her to move on with her life. A life without regrets. And, of course, it's a similar experience for Nathan. The fact that the intimacy he longs for with Jackie is not rooted in lust is well communicated through casting. Jackie is played by an actress who has a very homey, girl next door look. It’s Nathan’s wife who is exotically beautiful. So, truly, Nathan yearns for Jackie not because of some sexual mid-life crisis but because he needs to rekindle their intimacy to recapture who he was, who he is, and to move forward from some kind of arrested development.

Bella, you added that Nathan’s plea for a break from his wife, in order to find himself, and sort himself out, is therefore not the usual cop-out, but a very real need, and I agree. The film makes sure we understand that Nathan loves Sarah. There is no one else in Nathan’s life when he asks for a break. Or, if there is, well, it’s him. He needs to find, not another woman, but himself… to find Paradise again.

Also, I love the fact that though Nathan must learn to become a more mature man, he is the only one brave enough to try and try again to make his siblings talk about the incident and do it with sensitivity (like the artist that he is: nice touch to have made him an artist, an architect !). I never perceived it as an egoistic impulse on his part, not the way IG plays him. There’s even something of the valiant knight in him! Nathan and Jackie's first kiss, for instance, comes after the scene where Billy is especially cruel and abusive to his wife (throwing mashed potatoes to her face). The kiss is Nathan’s way to rescue Jackie from the humiliation she has just suffered at the hands of her husband. It’s like Adam nurturing Eve.

Also, I think Nathan’s courage rubs off Jackie when, after telling him she never recalls their childhood crush, she comes clean and admits she remembers everything about it. That was such a beautiful moment. The actress was shaking as she was communicating this: “I remember every second! (…) I remember the way your fingers felt on my skin and your lips on my body and the way your mouth tasted.... and I remember how ecstatic I was just being next to you and just to breathe the same air as you!" OMG... That, again, is very much akin a chimeric dialogue which Adam and Eve could have shared after their banishment from Eden.

And Nathan deserves this testimony, this show of love from Jackie, you know? It's the first time in the film when someone from his past tells him he mattered, he had value, he brought them joy. I'm crying as I'm writing this… How not to feel for Nathan? Especially when we learn, from the father, at the end, as he spills the truth to Nathan's wife, that Nathan did not imagine the hurt he was inflicted. His mother DID push him away. Though her mind knew better, her whole being thought her son responsible and acted accordingly. Obviously, she suffered from this as much as Nathan did. It's terrible because she's a good person, but these things happen in real life, don't they? The unspeakable happens. And the film does not shy away from these truths, while showing one way out of them, one way to heal. One way to recapture paradise.

EROS VS THANATOS

Clarasimone:

One of my favorite things about the film is the way it uses the juxtaposition of Eros and Thanatos, Love & Death, to build the narrative and the characters’ arcs. It's made abundantly clear in all love scenes of the film.

First, the moment of the “original sin”: Michael dies because both his parents and his older brother Nathan were too involved in romantic trysts to notice him endangering himself. His parents kiss under the fireworks, and Nathan gets distracted by Jackie. And it’s THE great injustice in Nathan’s life that his parents should have displaced their own (never avowed) guilt unto him. They believe he should have kept an eye on his brother, but they were there! It was their responsibility to make sure all their children be safe. Eros distracted them but only Eros’ pull on Nathan was considered punishable. How unfair and tragic. But how typical to see this type of displacement, isn’t it?

Then, of course, Nathan and Jackie make love where Michael died. The symbolism is overpowering, and of course deeply cathartic.

And, finally, they make love again, so joyously, so beautifully while Nathan's mother's dies!

The same is true of the teenagers who also come together in almost perfect synchronization with their adult counterpart.

Fighting death with sex, this unstoppable life force, there is nothing more primal, more beautiful. I was floored by this proposition! And IG excels in expressing this, doesn't he? :-) Not only in the raw emotional nakedness of the first sex scene when he cries... but later through the sensual hunger he demonstrates when he lunges for Jackie, devouring her with open-mouthed kisses, his tongue darting out and his hand digging under her panties when they try to make love in their enchanted cottage. It's a wonderfully playful moment how the erotic fire of their embrace is thwarted by Nathan's chili infected fingers come to burn Jackie's intimate flesh. From spicy food to spicy sex; this scene almost prefigures DELICIOUS ;-) It's perfectly hedonistic and life-affirming. And a few minutes later, IG excels again at showing the joy in sexual prowess when he smiles a bit devilishly into Jackie's eyes as his thrusts lift her to make her climax. It comes at 1H31H00-02, just before they kiss. And all of this, all of this amazing show of emotion and joy and sexiness occurring while Nathan's mother is dying. OMG! The contrast is heart shattering!

I thought that it was also immensely brave of the screenwriter, who manages to make us root for the adulterers, to then seemingly punish them by having them miss the mother's death because their tryst occurs at the same time. I literally screamed with my hand on my mouth when I realized the parallel. Nathan is not there when his mother forgives him! And missing this crucial family event threatens to plunge the lovers in an even deeper experience of shame and regret than the accidental death of Michael... In the final act of the film, I was reeling! But you see them surmounting this new ordeal with great emotional courage, and the whole family actually benefits from having to go through this ultimate blow and "hour of truth". Wow. I've really rarely seen such a mature, wise, empathic look at the human heart. Everyone in this film is multidimensional and flawed and terribly human.

Bella, you have this esoteric theory (your words ;-) that by making love, Nathan changes the paradigm of his life and enables/births his mother’s pardon during the parallel montage… whereas I felt the editing rather suggested that the delirious mother seemed to dream her son’s liberation ;-) It’ll be interesting to see what they ladies think…

MIRROR EFFECTS

Clarasimone:

There are multiple mirror effects in the film, which beautifully complexify the narrative structure and inform the heroes’ arcs. The main one occurs between two generation of lovers: Nathan and Jackie, and their respective children, Michael and Cassie. The first time I perused the film, I did it by fast-forwarding (of course, to get to the love scenes ;-) and I thought I was seeing flashbacks when we see the teenage lovers, when, in fact, we’re seeing Michael and Cassie in the present tense of the film. In a way, they are reenacting Nathan and Jackie’s childhood flirt. It’s a great narrative device, especially to show the pull of fatality. Because, how foreboding to see Michael and Cassie’s own affair spiral down into possible tragedy in the final act of the film, while Nathan and Jackie’s tryst is also being discovered. All their fates seem intrinsically linked because somewhere in time, a great injustice occurred.

Did you notice that the moment the two couples’ story almost come crashing into each other occurs perfectly mid-point into the film? I rarely do this, but I checked the time code and sure enough, we're perfectly at the half mark in the narrative when the kids see their adult counterparts make love on the construction site. It’s actually the original ending of part 1 but our copy reedited the film into one seamless work. In this moment, the kids get to experience a fall from grace. THE most important moment in all of their lives in this story. How disappointed Michael and Cassie are at seeing their parents as adulterers… and how upset they look at having lost their innocence. Because it is a “textbook lacanian mirror phase moment” to have them cease to be kids the very moment they get to witness the primal scene...

Of course, the moment is also life-altering for Nathan and Jackie, who never truly consummated their love for each other when they were kids and get to, finally, but on the very site of Michael's death. The symbolism isn't lost on us: their cathartic sex scene occurs where the original sin/trauma of the family took place, and where Nathan's development came to a stop. Maybe we can see hope in the fact that this place isn't a graveyard (the original barn) but the site of something being constructed anew. And so, of course, IG's character would be crying as he finally makes love to Jackie! I couldn’t understand why when I fast-forwarded the film, but he's both mourning his brother and celebrating life, finally making love to the girl he was forced to leave behind and, most of all, reconnecting with who he is, or trying to be!...

Bella:

…and because he’s returning to himself. To that teenager, who was SO HAPPY before his brother's death... It’s probably why Nathan doesn't disgust us but why, on the contrary, we sympathize with him very much.

It’s also interesting how, when Michael and Cassy see Nathan and Jackie having sex – it’s the boy who can't handle it and runs away. How do you think, why? Why not the girl? (clarasimone: later on, I proposed a metaphorical answer: that line which Ygritte tells Jon, “Girls see more blood than boys!” so of course Cassie is better equipped to handle this ;-) Oh, Cassy understands her mother very well, I think. The way she’s looking at her uncle, a bit provocatively, calling him Nathan instead of "uncle Nathan", trying her young awakening sexual charms on him - she finds him very attractive… She even tells her mother “I reckon you married the wrong one” after asking “How come Nathan is better looking than dad?”

Though Nathan and Jackie long for inner catharsis, and not simply for physical pleasure, the relationship between their children, Cassy and Michael, is clearly about sex, the awakening of it, the irresistible pull and force of it. After they saw their respective parents making it - it kinda gave them permission to do the same, it opened this door for them. They couldn't forget what they saw, and when Jackie went "to a friend" on the weekend, and Nathan went "working" - their children knew of course, that these two were secretly getting together. Michael asks: "What do you think they’re doing now"? And Cassy answers: "You KNOW what they are doing now" and, she starts to kiss him...

Interestingly, the next scene shows us Nathan and Jackie NOT doing it (contradicting their respective children), but TALKING... Because, let’s repeat it, their coming together is not about sex per se, but a very therapeutic moment for both of them...

Another mirror effect concerns Sarah, Nathan’s wife, who plays the role of the nurturing spouse/mother which Nathan's mother should have played but has been unable to for many years now. She’s the one who inspires Nathan to make things right with his mother, and to bring their son Michael along, so he can learn what lies behind the heritage of his namesake. And, it's a wonderful testament to Sarah’s maturity and level of empathy that, though she is deeply hurt by Nathan's tryst with Jackie, she not only forgives him but understands him.

In fact, she understands so much from the first. Triggering the whole story. Later telling Nathan, in a beautiful field of green (Eden again), that she understands why he needs this time away from her. She loves him, but she won’t beg. He must come back whole or not at all.

Of course, she did not guess what the healing process would entail but… near the end of the film, when she confronts Jackie, what really gets to her is not the infidelity but learning that the reason Nathan did what he did was that he needed to recapture how he felt before Michael's tragedy. So Sarah was right, all along, and in that moment, where she cries the hardest, she does so because she feels the depth of Nathan's pain... and her own too, at realizing that this means she never knew her husband as a truly happy person. All she had access to, was this deeply injured man.

Sarah’s moment of epiphany comes soon after Nathan mother’s death, who herself lived a similar epiphany since she was able to acknowledge Michael’s passing in her delirium. The woman dies peacefully… and Sarah knows joy when, having mended her relationship with Nathan, she knows he’ll come back to her as a happy, whole, person.

HOW STYLE INFORMS DISCOURSE

Clarasimone:

Though it chagrines me that this profound and nuanced work is “trapped” in the shape and form of tv-movie aesthetics, there are nice cinematic moments that do inform and enhanced the discourse and performances, and they merit to be singled out.

One of them comes very early in the film. The scene occurs after Nathan gets the phone call informing him of his mother’s dire condition. We don't know what he hears but we understand, from his expression and the cut to a flashback, that something terrible has happened.

That flashback is interesting for many reasons: it gives us access to Nathan's interiority and therefore establishes him as the main protagonist, especially because it's shot in pure subjective POV (a rare instance) and the mise-en-scene insists on symbolic elements: the town's church is being repaired (links to the film's biblical references?) and the scaffolds possibly foreshadow Nathan trying to repair his family, and becoming an architect (to repair and construct ? the wheel goes round). The construction workers whistle at Nathan's mother, which sexualizes her, and I like the fact that the character is/was therefore not simply a mother but a woman. And that Nathan was exposed to this. It's not developed and does not impact the narrative much but, being a parent AND a sexual being is clearly something that inhabits Nathan's psyche.

The most important aspect of the flashback of course, has to do with how Nathan's mother is caring, how she helps him when he falls from his bicycle and smiles lovingly at him to calm his tears. It's the mother he lost after the death of Michael. It's the mother he longs for. It's the feeling of being loved and safe that he was robbed of at a crucial time in his life. When we exit the flashback, Nathan's wife impresses on him that he could use this opportunity (going to see his mom) to mend things with her. His fear to commit to this "mission" is well communicated when the camera then dollies into IG's face. A rare event in the film, composed mainly of shot counter-shots and very functional, invisible cam movements.

A second dolly-in occurs much later, when Nathan suffers as he explains how his mother won’t address Michael’s death: "She's dying, and she won't talk about it!" The two dolly-ins bookend Sarah's insistence that he broach the subject to his mother.

There’s another nice little cinematic moment soon after the first reminiscing scene between Nathan and Jackie: when the camera first captures her, in profile, looking out the window as she does the dishes and there's this pan to the right showing Nathan just looking at her. All this time, and unbeknownst to us, he was gazing at her longingly :-)

Other nice use of camera movement:

There's a dolly-in on Jackie the first time she says "We never had an ending. I want an ending." It marks the moment, obviously, and helps us engrave it in our memory.

There's another dolly-in when Jackie prepares to tell Nathan that his mother died. This too acts like a bookend to the earlier shot of him getting the phone call informing him of his mom's illness. I'm glad the director took the time to shoot these moments like this. I just wish there were more of them…

For example, he really was inspired when Nathan rejoins his dad after the mother's death, and we’ve seen the older man caress and smell his wife’s clothes. A loving moment which, alas, Nathan does not see, as you so justly pointed out Bella. Their reunion is shot in one take and it creates a wonderful emotional tension, suspense and release. It goes on for about a minute and a half at 1H45M22 - 1H46M51. The shot starts on the father's hands packing his wife's belongings, while Nathan appears in the background, out of focus, coming up the stairs. He comes into the bedroom, they speak, Nathan tries to help his dad who's too distraught to register Nathan's love and pain, and then, the director has this wonderful idea: he makes the father walk left, and tracks with him, leaving Nathan behind, who disappears from the frame. The father speaks and speaks and then he turns around and pauses. He's seeing Nathan. We don't. But his silence creates a moment of suspense which shatters when the father comes back to his son, the camera tracking once more… revealing IG in tears! Wow! And, bonus: Nathan is holding his mom's yellow raincoat, the one from his childhood flashback! The happy flashback when she smiled and cared for him as he cried. UGHHHHH my God. And the way IG cries with abandon, chocking on the word "mum," and the way his father embraces him, with his whole body engulfing him like a papa bear. Wow!

Final detail: I love how one of the last scenes of the film is a flashback to Paradise Found: the 3 brothers with young Jackie running in the green near the flowing river on a golden sunny day. Though it shows the past, the scene has the power to impress our mind as emotionally occurring now. The ghosts are happy :-) And then we cut to another bookend scene: Nathan and Michael in the car, but going back to London, their faces all battered but smiling, and in harmony as father and son. Beautiful!

THE ONE REALLY ANNOYING WEAKNESS? ;-)

We mentioned how Nathan’s brother Billy completes the Return of the Prodigal Son trope of the narrative. Watching the film, Bella and I were acutely aware that we were supposed to feel for Nathan's brother and though one can accept the proposition --it makes sense, he was so dutiful-- our heart couldn't. Because the film fails to give the character enough introspective moments to make us feel for him, truly. Actually, he only gets one scene that shows him as an exceptional person, when he reads to his younger kids. This lack, plus the filmmakers’ decision to have Billie humiliate Jackie twice, through a form of public spousal abuse (the mashed potatoes and the beer throwing) just made us shut down. The filmmakers were possibly trying to stretch the envelope, to see how far they could go in showing this brother’s faults while still making us understand how Jackie can love him, regardless, and forgive him. But it didn't work for us. We believe that if they redid the film today, they would either balance the brother a bit better or have Jackie leave him at the end. But not for Nathan. Leave him to be self-partnered ;-)

***

Personal notes on the personal “anchors” we felt with this production:

Bella has experienced the heartaches that come with the “Return of the Prodigal Child”; and I have experienced the healing process which IG goes through in the film, being intimate with someone else than my life companion in order to find myself and feel whole. Can we call this being unfaithful, when it has everything to do with finding faith in oneself? The film turns this question into a beautiful and heartfelt narrative.

#Iain Glen #anchor me #clarasimone #bellahadar

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theusurpersdog · 5 years ago

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So Game of Thrones ended on Sunday, and for now it’s going down as potentially the worst ending of any TV show ever. Some of the backlash has come from the more nonsensical elements, such as Bronn being on the Small Council, anyone in Westeros defending Daenerys (the show literally framed her like Hitler, come the fuck on), Tyrion deciding who was King while in shackles, etc. But the truth is, none of that would’ve mattered if the emotions rang true. And that’s been a problem since the show started; go all the way back to Winter is Coming and you’ll see that the Starks have always been sidelined - both as individuals and as a family - in favor of the Lannisters. George Martin is writing a character piece about the Starks and how they survive, and the show was never going to stick the landing when they fundamentally didn’t understand that.

I’m not the first to point this out, but man did it really bother me this episode. D&D really could’ve phoned in 95% of this story and just shown up to love the Starks and everyone would’ve been at least satisfied, and they just couldn’t do it. So many years of bad writing and idiot plots and plain stupidity hasn’t lost Game of Thrones hardly any fans, because the ones they had were deeply invested in the characters GRRM had created and were willing to overlook just about everything to see those characters have some sort of conclusion. That’s why their entire audience has turned against them now - they didn’t care about the Starks for 8 seasons, and GRRM’s ending required the audience and the writers care deeply for Jon, Sansa, Arya, and Bran.

For all of GRRM’s talk about wanting to break his reader’s hearts, and D&D’s version of his story as this GrimDark nightmare, GRRM’s story has a real, emotional heart to it. People debate whether it was a fantasy story with the false premise of a political period piece, or a political story with a touch of fantasy intrigue - but the truth is, this story is and always has been a character piece centered around the Starks and how they survive and rebuild after family tragedy. In number of povs and chapters, they literally overwhelm the series. Jon, Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Catelyn all are in the top povs as well as Ned, who is still competitive despite being in exactly 1 book of the series. Having the Starks as the center of the story, the point in which almost all the action revolves, is what grounds all of Martin’s series even as his povs reach 30+. Martin was being very serious when he said Arya, Sansa, and Bran were the heart of his series. You need them because they make it worth it.

So let’s break down how D&D ripped the heart out of asoiaf’s chest. The biggest problem the show had was something book readers have known for a long time, but didn’t fully realize until Sunday night: The Bran Problem. GRRM has stated multiple times that Bran is his hero, yet the show has never had any interest in his story. They made an entirely random decision not to include flashbacks or dream sequences, which immediately cuts out about half of Bran’s content. But not only did they take away his magical importance, they also stole his political importance. Bran was Robb Stark’s heir, Lord of Winterfell and first in line to be the King in the North. Yet they took Bran’s story away from him and gave the focus to Theon Greyjoy, a character more appealing to the tastes of David Benioff and Dan Weiss. So we never got to see the King of the Six (should be eight but whatever I’m just dying inside) Kingdoms acting in any leadership capacity. And, last but certainly not least, D&D took all emotion from Bran. And no, I don’t mean when he came back from beyond the wall a husk of a person. That was awful, but the damage was done seasons before. If you’ve read the books, you’ll know and love Bran Stark because this is who he is:

He sent sweets to Hodor and Old Nan as well, for no reason but he loved them

Bran was a sweet boy. Everyone loved him

The roots of the trees grow deep, and under the ground the Kings of Winter sit their thrones. So long as those remained, Winterfell remained. It was not dead, just broken. Like me, he thought, I'm not dead either

Old stories are like old friends, she used to say. You have to visit them from time to time

He is a sweet boy, quick to laugh, easy to love

Bran has always represented happiness and people coming together in GRRM’s story. Ned wants to bring him to King’s Landing because he’s universally loved and will ease the conflict between Joffrey and Robb, and just the thought of him being alive makes Jon bury his ego and reach out to his Night’s Watch Brothers. He is Meera’s little Prince, someone that Howland Reed’s children are willing to go beyond the wall and die for. He accepts food on the road beyond the Wall, and promises he’ll repay his debt many times over. He’s the boy who looks back into the past and just wants to see his dad again; who reaches out to save Theon, even when Theon took everything from him. He is Eddard Stark’s son, soft and kind and loving, brave when he is afraid, loyal and honorable, and he is a good person. He’s young, but he is fit to be a King one day.

But no, D&D didn’t stop at Bran. Let’s talk about Arya Stark, and the little girl who never was. Was there ever a character more suited to D&D’s tastes than a little murder girl hellbent on revenging her family’s killers? But was there ever a character further from Arya Stark? She is nine years old when Ser Ilyn takes her father’s head, of course she is brash and reckless and childish, wanting to avenge him. But she is all of those things because she is still a kid. Below the surface, she is very scared and very hurt. Unlike the show’s version of Arya, who is upset Joffrey died because she couldn’t do it herself, the Arya of the books has a realization that Joffrey dying means nothing because she’ll never get Robb back. Arya isn’t turning into an assassin because it would be cool, she’s running away as far as she can.

You can watch the season finale of Game of Thrones s4, and be right in concluding that Arya Stark leaves The Hound for dead in a ruthless move of brutality as she goes to pursue her dreams of being an assassin. Now read the end of A Storm of Swords, and you’ll find an Arya who refuses to let Sandor take a piece of her no matter how he abuses her, and goes to Braavos because she is so afraid that no one could love her anymore - and most of all she leaves because with Winterfell sacked and held by the Boltons, she genuinely thinks she has lost her home. Arya doesn’t make a well-adjusted decision to leave Westeros, she’s trying to keep her head above water before she drowns in grief. Disassociating from her pack is the only way she can cope with the unbearable amount of loss she has suffered, especially at such a young age. But GRRM’s version of Arya is fierce, brave, loyal, loving, and above all she loves her family.

Then there is Sansa, the most empathetic character in GRRM’s whole world. The unfailing hope and kindness in which she views the world are her defining character traits; she echoes GRRM’s own worldview, one where you can see the good and the bad in everyone, and choose to forgive - and if not that, still refuse to be cruel in kind. Sansa is the only one who looks at Sandor Clegane, looks at the ruin fire made of his face, and see that his eyes are why he’s so ugly - and then reach out to show him mercy. The girl who was beaten everyday of her time in King’s Landing, and still mourned Joffrey because he was a person and he died and she understood that it was still awful. She wishes knights who literally beat her bloody would fall off their horse, then feels bad and ashamed when they do. Sansa Stark is kind above all.

And the show took this character and made her cold. They tried to make her Littlefinger. Surprise! Nobody cares about the emotional well being and happiness of Petyr Baelish for a reason. Thankfully Bryan Cogman was there to run interference between Sansa and D&D, so she wasn’t fully the Ice Queen D&D wanted her to be, but goddamn how do you take Sansa “if I am ever Queen, I’ll make them love me” Stark and make her cold?!

The biggest problem with stripping the Stark kids individually of their emotions, is that they can no longer exist as the family GRRM created them to be. Without Arya, Bran, and Sansa’s emotional arcs, everything becomes meaningless. Who cares that Ramsay Bolton is the one to rebuild Winterfell in the show? Certainly not an audience that hasn’t been told to care.

You’ll notice a trend in the type of chapters that D&D decided not to adapt into Game of Thrones; think of all the chapters that are the emotional heart of GRRM’s story. Not the shocking character deaths, or dragons, or plot twists. The moments of intimacy between GRRM, his character, and you as the reader. The moments so small yet so impactful, the lines you remember not because they pushed the plot forward but because they honestly moved you in a way that you felt hope, longing, love? Those chapters are almost always either from Bran, Sansa, or Arya; and are always about their connection to their family. D&D adapted none of them. Here’s three great examples:

Done with Wooden Teeth

When Arya is a serving girl at Harrenhal during A Clash of Kings, it really sucks. Unlike the show, she is not cup bearer to Tywin Lannister; she is just like everyone else: abused, mistreated, underfed, miserable, and uncared for. She’s already at a pretty low moment in life, then the news breaks that Bran and Rickon were murdered by Theon Greyjoy and Winterfell has been sacked. And Arya doesn’t even have someone to grieve with; the one person she tries to tell, Elmar Frey, tells her nobody cares about a serving girl’s brothers when he’s just lost his Princess (the irony...).

The news that her family is dead almost breaks her:

As Arya crossed the yard to the bathhouse, she spied a raven circling down toward the rookery, and wondered where it had come from and what message it carried. Might be it’s from Robb, come to say it wasn’t true about Bran and Rickon. She chewed on her lip, hoping. If I had wings I could fly back to Winterfell and see for myself. And if it was true, I’d just fly away, fly up past the moon and the shining stars, and see all the things in Old Nan’s stories, dragons and sea monsters and the Titan of Braavos, and maybe I wouldn’t ever fly back

This is Arya giving up. Everything she’s done in this book so far has been to get back to Winterfell, or to Jon at the Wall. Her making the decision to fly away (which she’ll follow through on in A Storm of Swords) is a defeat, the acceptance that she’ll never get her family back.

If the chapter had ended here (it doesn’t), D&D still would’ve gutted it, because no Stark gets to react to Bran and Rickon’s death in the show. Not even a minute of screentime given to the Heir to the North and his brother dying; not a moment where their family can grieve the tremendous loss.

But Arya is a Stark, so before she gives up on her identity, she visits the Godswood:

“Tell me what to do, you gods,” she prayed.

For a long moment there was no sound but the wind and the water and the creak of leaf and limb. And then, far far off, beyond the godswood and the haunted towers and the immense stone walls of Harrenhal, from somewhere out in the world, came the long lonely howl of a wolf

The Godswood is very important to the Starks for a couple different reasons. First, only the men of the North worship the Old Gods, and the trees is the connection they have to them. The Old Gods were who Ned went to for guidance, and every single Stark has huge moments of understanding in front of a Godswood (none of which made it into the show...). But, more specific to the Starks as a family, Bran speaks to his family through them and guides them toward home. So even though they don’t understand that Bran is calling to them, the Starks are drawn to the trees for help.

And the trees always answer them. The Starks get a real, physical response when they ask the Godswood for help:

Then, so faintly, it seemed as if she heard her father’s voice. “When the snows fall and the white wind blows, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives,” he said.

“But there is no pack,” she whispered to the weirwood. Bran and Rickon were dead, the Lannisters had Sansa, Jon had gone to the Wall. “I’m not even me now, I’m Nan.”

“You are Arya of Winterfell, daughter of the north. You told me you could be strong. You have the wolf blood in you.”

“The wolf blood.” Arya remembered now. “I’ll be as strong as Robb. I said I would.” She took a deep breath, then lifted the broomstick in both hands and brought it down across her knee. It broke with a loud crack, and she threw the pieces aside. I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth.

In her lowest moment, Arya re-finds her strength by remembering she is a Stark, a direwolf who belongs to a pack. The Godswood gives her Ned as comfort, as a reminder of who she is and what she should do. There is an incredible emphasis on family here. It would be impossible to adapt this chapter unless the writers and audience fully understood just how committed to each other the Starks are - which is why they didn’t adapt it.

I’m Not Dead Either

When Bran finally leaves the crypts at the end of A Clash of Kings, he’s close to giving up on himself entirely. He spent three days inside Summer, and returning to the body he views as broken (”Bran the Broken” is something he calls himself when he feels upset, not the monikor he’d give himself as King) is really hard for him. And when he finally leaves the crypts, he comes out to a Winterfell that has been destroyed; Ramsay has set the place ablaze and killed everyone. Bran knows Ser Rodrik is dead and Maester Luwin is soon to be as well. He looks around him and sees all this destruction, all he smells is fire or blood. But one thing in Winterfell stands unharmed; Summer takes off running for the Godswood:

The air was sweeter under the trees. A few pines along the edge of the wood had been scorched, but deeper in the damp soil and green wood had defeated the flames. “There is a power in living wood,” said Jojen Reed, almost as if he knew what Bran was thinking, “a power strong as fire.”

After Bran says goodbye to Maester Luwin, and him and Rickon part ways with no idea where either is heading, Bran has one last moment to look on Winterfell and find hope:

Beyond, the tops of the keeps and towers still stood as they had for hundreds of years, and it was hard to tell that the castle had been sacked and burned at all. The stone is strong, Bran told himself, the roots of the trees go deep, and under the ground the Kings of Winter sit their thrones. So long as those remained, Winterfell remained. It was not dead, just broken. Like me, he thought, I’m not dead either.

Bran looks back at Winterfell, and because he’s able to see the unharmed Godswood and the Kings of Winter still seated on their thrones, he can understand it’s not dead, just like him. Again, a Stark is drawing strength from their connection to each other, and through a Godswood.

I Am Stronger Within the Walls of Winterfell

This next one, you’re probably thinking “but the show did adapt Sansa’s snow castle chapter”, and I’m here to tell you they didn’t. I could write an entire book on how that scene is the perfect example of how adaptations fail; they *technically* adapted it, with pretty much the same events, but it was completely stripped of its emotional impact and narrative importance. It is the perfect microcosm of why Game of Thrones was a bad adaptation of A Song of Ice and Fire, as well as how D&D consistently missed the emotional beats the Starks were supposed to have.

The show’s version of this chapter somehow centers it around Littlefinger, while simultaneously underselling the fact that Lysa killed Jon Arryn (they sandwiched this episode and scene between Tyrion’s trial and Oberyn’s death, when this chapter ends A Storm of Swords. All of the climaxes in that book, and GRRM saved this one for last). The end product is a rather forgettable scene that most people overlook.

In the book, this chapter is everything. It is the best chapter in asoiaf, and the best writing of anything ever. Period. And it’s a chapter centered around Sansa’s relationship to her home, to Winterfell. Unlike the very small castle of the show, Sansa spends hours building a castle big enough that she can step inside and continue building details. The fact that she can stay outside for hours, while several onlookers get too cold and go back inside, is a reminder that she is a Stark.

And this chapter is centered around a Godswood. The tree never took root, because the Eyrie is too high for weirwoods, but the courtyard Sansa’s in was meant to be a Godswood. And since she doesn’t have a real one, Sansa builds her own inside her snowy Winterfell.

Being up in the mountains is also the first time Sansa’s seen true snow since she said goodbye to Robb in Winterfell, and just the thought of it makes her dream of home and of memories with Bran and Arya. She wakes up having dreamed of home, and thinks she’s sleeping next to her sister until she wakes up enough to realize she’s not in Winterfell.

When Sansa’s alone with no real connection to home, she finds the closest thing to Winterfell (the failed Godswood) and builds her own. She literally gains strength from it:

She wondered where this courage had come from, to speak to him so frankly. From Winterfell, she thought. I am stronger within the walls of Winterfell.

Her home and her family give her strength to stand up to her abuser, just as Arya was able to escape the abuse of Harrenhal and Bran escaped the Boltons.

There is way more than these three instances, but these are the best examples of D&D failing to adapt the Starks as a pack, or as individuals with feelings. Of course the ending didn’t feel right emotionally, because we had no explanation for what emotions led our Starks to their destinies.

I’ll probably make a post specifically about this in a couple days or weeks, but I can see GRRM’s ending stuck within D&D’s sloppy rush to the end:

The first time Arya leaves Westeros, she leaves because she thinks all her family is dead or taken, and that Winterfell is gone forever. At the end, she’ll leave because she is sure her family loves her, and that she has a room in Winterfell whenever she wants to visit Good Queen Sansa. Arya is also fast to make friends of all different people, and would start her own pack of rogues as she travels the world.

Sansa won’t be alone because she, like Arya, is good at finding her own pack. (And GRRM has built his world out so extensively, it’s honestly a joke to think we could be in a crowded room and recognize no one). Sansa’s friends are her people. She throws feasts constantly, and like Ned, always has a seat at the High Table for the small folk. She has many ladies in waiting, true friends of hers that help her write songs and stories, and sew dresses. She is a good and kind Queen, and visits the Wall constantly as she helps the Lord Commander resettle the Gift.

King Bran the Wise (or ya know, just not broken) rules from his Weirwood Throne on the Isle of Faces, at the heart of his kingdom. After Daenerys burns King’s Landing, he moves the capital since The Red Keep was a monument to Aegon’s Conquest - a symbol of tyranny King Bran is trying to move forward from. He fills his council with highborn and lowborn alike. He constantly talks to his siblings; Sansa waits for him at the Godswood, and Arya and Jon see him through Ghost and Nymeria.

Just because they’re far in distance, doesn’t mean they aren’t a pack. They all know the others are safe, and that they’ll see see each other soon. GRRM will invest the right amount of time explaining the emotional beats of this ending to make it feel right. He cares so much about the Starks. He wrote them a whole epic fantasy because he saw Bran finding pups in the snow. He loves them more than we do, guys.

The Starks are the Giants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#game of thrones #Sansa Stark #Arya Stark #bran stark #asoiaf meta #if you're wondering why Jon wasn't included #it's because that boy was a whole mess #needs his own post to explain the unique injustice that was done to him

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ivy-miranda-2390 · 4 years ago

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In Defense of Anakin Skywalker (and Hayden Christensen)

I grew up with Star Wars, my whole family loves Star Wars. I was 8 when I saw Episode I and afterwards, I was completely immersed in the Star Wars universe. Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi was probably my first fictional boyfriend and I'm unashamedly still in love with him too.

Episode II: The Attack of the Clones came out when I was 11 and so naturally I was excited to see the continuation of the Star Wars prequel universe. However, nothing could have prepared me for the absolute utter gorgeousness of Canadian actor, Hayden Christensen who was cast to play the adolescent Anakin Skywalker.

My memories of first seeing Episode II are fond because I got to see the movies with my older siblings while on vacation in Myrtle Beach. It was probably my first experience of being accepted among my older adult brothers and sisters or the feeling of 'grownupness' as I like to call it.

So Attack of the Clones has always been an special film to me because I saw it at a time when I was no longer being viewed as a child, but as a growing teenager.

It's also why I've always been rather defensive of the film too. While the film was titled Attack of the Clones, it may as well have been re-titled, "Attack of Anakin Skywalker (and subsequently, Hayden Christensen)". For over 20 years, there has been an absolute and indescribable hatred of Anakin Skywalker and many people blamed both Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen's supposed poor acting as the result of a badly done Anakin.

And to be honest even though I had a massive crush on Hayden Christensen and was hardly a movie critic at the time, I felt that at times that Anakin could have been better acted. However, I was young and didn't care about the script or the acting. Yet, for years I constantly defended, Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker and Hayden Christensen. Partly due to nostalgia, partly to being a teenage girl and most of all partly to do with understanding the character of Anakin as being misunderstood, misinterpreted and not being treated as an adult by the elders in his life.

Did Anakin have problems? Yes.

Were most of these problems his fault? No.

Did Anakin ever try to fix these problems and better himself? Everyday of his life.

He had nothing, but he gave everything

The prequels were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. Anakin's life is a story arch of sacrifice and redemption. Life has not always been good to Anakin. He was born a slave with no father. He was raised in the strong love of wonderful mother Shmi Skywalker. While Shmi may have been scared and confused as to how she conceived a child without a man, she raised her son in love and simple contentment.

Chances are Anakin and his mother probably faced terrible abuse in their time as slaves and more than once, Anakin may have been separated from Shmi as leverage for greedy slave owners. Although a slave, Anakin was never a victim. He may have been physically owned, but his heart and mind were free. He was his own person, always thinking outside of the box, building, creating, questioning everything and everyone. Not to mention a little wild and rather reckless.

Even as a child Anakin was a little strange to people. For a slave to have such a hopeful and positive attitude may have seemed bizarre to outsiders, but that was just the norm for him. Shmi once remarked that her son knew nothing of greed. For a boy raised with nothing, all he had were his talents as an inventor and growing pilot. And he used his talents for other people. He built C-3PO to help his mom, he entered the podrace to help Qui-Gon Jinn, he always gave without any expectation of being thanked.

A spirit that refused to surrender

After Anakin is freed and sent to train as a Jedi, that wild spirit was still intact. Much to his by-the-book master's dismay. Anakin didn't have the opportunity to grow up in the strict Jedi Temple that was built on order, rules and tradition. As a child, Anakin was use to being himself and not fitting into anyone's mold. His original dream was to be a pilot, not a Jedi. No one asked him if he wanted to be a Jedi, no one asked him if he wanted to be trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

While Anakin may have been grateful for both opportunities presented to him, overtime he may have seen this new life as not to different from the one he left. A life run by others. Telling him what to do, where to go, how to dress, how to behave. He survived as a slave because he dared to dream and imagine and refused to be defined by others.

Now he's thrown into a culture where individuality is looked down upon. He lived through the stifling Jedi order because he still held onto those qualities. He was going to be himself on his terms. He would nod his head and say yes when he needed to, but off the clock he would live by his own rules. Something that Obi-Wan and the Jedi order could not understand. And Anakin is getting frustrated by this.

So now we get to Attack of the Clones (and the Attack of Hayden Christensen). Critics came down hard on both Anakin and Hayden. Constantly complaining about Anakin's constant complaining, his tantrums, broodiness and being a crybaby about everything. Critics blamed the disaster of Anakin Skywalker on the terrible miscasting of Hayden Christensen. The only redeeming quality Hayden Christensen had that saved him was the fact he was so easy to look at.

For years, fans were desperate to know who Anakin Skywalker was. And so the pressure to deliver a good character that could measure up to the icon of Darth Vader may have seemed insurmountable. And so when people got this confused, overemotional 19 year old, who has no experience in love or sex, but is madly in love with a beautiful young women; and who wants to be respected in a highly established culture, without losing himself or conforming, well people were just disappointed. The disappointment can be explained in one of Anakin's most famous lines.

"HE'S HOLDING ME BACK!"

He, being George Lucas who was holding back Hayden's actual talent to create a good three dimensional character. Plus his bad script writing. Poor Hayden was just made to read lines on a page and somehow make this sad character somebody that people can root for. Unfortunately fans and critics ate him alive. It's only in recent years that people have begun to realize that they were blaming the wrong person. And by blaming Hayden, they were completely misunderstanding Anakin as a character.

His most beautiful gift, his most fatal flaw

Of all of Anakin's gifts, his ability to love deeply was probably his most profound and his most dangerous. The Jedi Temple forbade romantic attachments to others and for good reason. When you become attached to or love someone beyond the boundaries of platonic friendship you become afraid of losing them. The end of my review for the Star Wars prequels sums it up the best:

In The Phantom Menace, Yoda warns Anakin about the dangers of being afraid. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Anakin's most beautiful attribute is also his most fatal flaw. His ability to love deeply. Yet, if you love someone you will always live in fear of losing them. Anakin was created by darkness, but raised in the light of his mother's love. His own love was made manifest by Padme and then by their unborn child/children. However, Love no matter how strong can be weakened and even be destroyed by the evil of fear. If the prequels taught anything about life, it taught how fear (even in its smallest form) can be be our most detrimental enemy. Living alone in fear and not seeking help is a signing of our own death warrants. What might have happened if Anakin had gone to Obi-Wan and seek his help? Would things have been different? The prequels were not meant to tell a happy story. They were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. No, they don't have the silliness or humor of the Originals, because there is nothing humorous about someone's self-destruction. Yet, the story of Anakin Skywalker's transformation had to be told in a way that was real and heartbreaking. To take Darth Vader and make him a human who could feel and understand and love could be an insurmountable task. Yet, you only need to watch his death scene at the end of Return of The Jedi to see that the humane part of Anakin Skywalker had always been there. The prequels were made to be built on that final scene of redemption and human love. A husband's love to save his wife became a father's love that could overcome darkness and hate. An extreme love that defied fear and held on to hope. That was the love of Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin could be a bratty and immature young adult. However, to only base a character by his few annoying flaws is overlooking the bigger and better picture. Anakin was an outsider his whole life and yet that never seemed to bother him. He never cared about fitting in. He was content being himself and he refused to let Obi-Wan or the Jedi Order or even Padme change him. He held onto who he was for as long as he was able to. Then the tragedy of losing his wife changed that. The indomitable spirit wasn't broken, it was destroyed. Anakin re-entered a life of slavery for over 20 years.

And he was ultimately freed by one person. An orphan who once had nothing but a talent as an inventor and dreams of being a pilot. A young Jedi with an unbreakable spirit that refused to surrender to evil or fear or pain or loss. A son who loved his father so deeply that he would fight to the death to free Anakin Skywalker forever.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen

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simsofsanmyshunoandmore · 4 years ago

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Melitta was born without a father. Her mom, Melanie raised Melitta by herself with almost nothing to begin with. Melitta witnessed how difficult life was at an early age. Despite this, her mom remained resilient and tough. Melanie made ends meet and even beyond to give Melitta the life she deserves the best way she could. Her efforts were fruitful nonetheless because Melitta never failed to make her achievements and recognition; from being a straight A student in elementary, to being her high school valedictorian, Melitta now graduated Arts History with honors from Britechester.

Melitta was a diligent and wise young girl. When she was in elementary, she helped her mother around their rental rooms and maintained their old mansion. During high school, her mother got married for the first time with a general physician, Dr. Evan Murphy. She, her mother and her father successfully blossomed a rose garden business at their backyard which kept money flowing into their savings, securing their finances to stop renting rooms in their inherited manor. As their income became more stable in the business, Evan and Melanie decided to a have a child, introducing Brenda to their family. At this point, Melitta could obviously realize the trend her life had been. Her and her mother’s efforts reeled them out of the deeps to enjoy air outside of the waters. Being up into the shore showed Melitta a great deal of possibilities she could explore for herself; love, education, passion and aspirations. Relieving her of the pressures underwater, it was easier to meet new people and spot interests out in the open.

Max Villareal was Melitta’s first boyfriend. Somehow, one way or another, the prized child and pupil, Melitta, caught Max’s eyes at senior prom. They were members and parts of different high school cliques and worlds, and so meeting each other that night was unprecedented. He was a renegade and somehow managed to graduate high school on time despite his poor grades. Weirdly enough, Melitta and Max connected deeply; realizing that they both had difficult childhoods being raised by a single parent. Max was also Melitta’s first kiss, something she could have reserved for someone better “if only she knew well” as her mother wanted to phrase it. Max may have been the first person Melitta connected with at that level, but it wasn’t enough of a foundation to spark a meaningful relationship beyond.

At the first week of college, she met Ferdinand Nixon, the student-assistant librarian at Britechester. He had primly styled black hair and dashing blue eyes complemented by his pressed blazer and a pair of round glasses. She tried to brush off the attraction because she was still in a relationship with Max at that time. She was still hopeful to make it work with Max so they would go out together, spend time to reconnect every once in a while. Despite her efforts, Max seemed to be disinterested himself at their pace. She figured that maybe Max was looking for something more than what she could offer, and Max did not deny the mutual feeling. However, what astounded Max was Melitta’s confession that another man piqued her interest when she started college. It wasn’t like Melitta’s character but guilt faulted her for their breakup.

The next day, Melitta walked up to the library to meet Ferdinand and profess her feelings once and for all. She did not breakup with Max just for naught. She asked him for coffee nervously but bravely. Although Ferdinand was hesitant at first, he appreciated Melitta’s gesture so he accepted her invitation. Their coffee date went great. Melitta learned that Ferdinand came from a well-off family, but he loved books so much that he still helped out in the library as a working scholar. He had various interests which included history, psychology and philosophy, a fresh air from what Melitta thought could only interest a guy. In high school, attractive guys played sports and even cheerleaders, a hobby Melitta did not appreciate, but Ferdinand, he was handsome and he was smart.

By then, Melitta and Ferdinand continued to see each other after their last class almost everyday. They’d meet at the college coffee shop and talk about the topics they discussed in class. It wasn’t long until their exchange became more personal, more romantic and endearing. After Melitta’s second year in college, more than a year of seeing each other, Ferdinand proposed they make it official to be a couple. He was her second boyfriend, but it all felt like a brand new excitement over love.

That was only half of what Melitta had in college. At the beginning of her college journey, Melitta stayed in a rental house with Rachel Berry, a high school friend she met at glee club, and apparently, Max’s adopted sister. Melitta did not know about her association with Max so it was a surprise for Melitta to know about it at that point. After all, Melitta and Rachel had been friends for a year at that time. Anyway, Rachel was different from his brother, Max. She was rather cheerful and cheeky which always lit up their days in the university. Rachel would sing, dance and perform numbers from musicals she loved. Rachel became a dear friend to Melitta. She always knew how to be happy at any point. Melitta revered that so it was a tragedy to tell that Rachel took her own life one morning in their apartment. Rachel’s breakup with her long time boyfriend was too tough for her to handle. Melitta did not know the entire story and only even knew about it from Lucas at the funeral, but she knew it weighed heavily on her friend.

She believed that Rachel had so much potential. Despite having an abusive family that ruined her childhood, Rachel pulled herself from her roots and planted her identity to where she belonged. Melitta had high respect for that, as much as Rachel’s older brother, Hugo, who was the only nice person to her as grew up.

After Rachel’s funeral, Melitta was then alone in their apartment. Her sister, Brenda, came to stay with her until she graduated but Ferdinand would often visit her and keep her company as well. He was caring and sensitive, qualities Melitta felt she could thrive in. After their last class, Ferdinand would still bring her favorite coffee order and have their usual afternoons in the apartment instead. Sometimes, he would sleepover to make sure Melitta and her sister would be safe through the night. Through her successful terms in college, to the death of her friend, Ferdinand did not leave her side. More so, Ferdinand stayed longer, established his role in her life, and proved to be the best man for her. Ferdinand stopped working as a librarian to give more time for her and to be more available when she needs him. Love and support were readily available for her, so she thought maybe if Rachel had the same kind of family and friends, Rachel would’ve stayed longer. Melitta wanted to believe that.

At the end of her last term in college, Melitta and Ferdinand got engaged. He proposed on New Year’s Eve when all of the Murphys celebrated the holidays in the apartment. That night, Ferdinand courageously took a leap of faith to ask for a promise of marriage when the right time comes. The sound of a vow to always have someone by your side for the rest of her life gave her a sense of security and endearment. She felt it was all too fast, but one nudge from her mother who trusted her decisions, was all it took to validate her choice to say yes. It was a new year for everyone, but an entirely new road for Melitta.

Weeks after, Melitta was able to graduate with honors from Britechester University with a degree on Art History. As encouraged by her fiance, she ventures to be a professor in the university after she finishes her graduate studies. Melitta felt fulfilled at the middle of the road wider as it had been before for her and her mother. At the end of college, Melitta had space to make a name for herself in the academe, prepare herself for marriage, gear up to be an educator and be the outstanding daughter to her mother and father.

Melitta swam against the current with her mother as she grew up. The deeps were dark and simply just void, no light to shine through, yet her mother never gave up on her. She swam for the both of them when she needed to, and they swam side by side as they could. Her mother believed that Melitta should have a chance to see possibilities she could make happen because her mother believed in her potential at an early age and Melanie believed right. Out on the shore, to the busy streets of the city, Melitta found herself surrounded by opportunities and choices to integrate with her life. At that point, Melitta connected roads to walk through, high ways to cross, and established a place she could call home. Life wasn’t all about maintaining an old manor hat provided meals one day at a time, as if stuck in an endless loop for the mother-daughter tandem. The two of them dreamed what would it feel like to take a ray of sunshine on their skin, and so it happened. Melitta got to live a life differently from how her mother started a family with. It would also be different for the child she would have. Melitta felt fulfilled then, more so was her mother. Melanie’s first planted rose surely bloomed the most vibrant of all.

#thesims #thesims4 #ts4 #sims #sims4 #simsstory #Nixon #Murphy #family #college #life #romance #dating #love #friends #friendship #experiences

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kopykunoichi · 4 years ago

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The Legacy of Star Wars: An Open Letter to the Writers and Creators of A Galaxy Far, Far Away

“Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you. Some of us live it. I’ve been in this fight since I was six years old!” ~ Cassian Andor

I saw a great meme once that played off that quote, meant to depict an older fan describing to a newer fan how they had been invested in the story of Star Wars from childhood. I could relate. Though I am not old enough to have seen the original Star Wars movies in theater, they were a significant part of my childhood. I remember renting the original theatrical VHS from our local video store all the time when I was little. Then we bought the digitally remastered Special Edition VHS Box Set and I spent the next decade wearing them out! We would have popcorn and Star Wars marathons all the time. My friends and I would always pretend we were in the story. My swingset was the Millennium Falcon. I was that 11-year-old girl who would argue with my friends over who was hotter - Luke or Han. (The correct answer is Han, of course!) My mother would read the Expanded Universe novels to me in the afternoons and we would talk about the characters. All my spending money went to Jedi Apprentice books and 6 inch action figures. In short, I loved Star Wars.

I was 13 when The Phantom Menace hit theaters, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get to see new stories from my favorite fictional universe play out on the big screen. Though I struggled a bit with some of the acting, the story was absolutely amazing to me. Star Wars felt all the more real to me with the amazing graphics and intense action sequences - not to mention the layers of politics and the complexity of the story. I watched Revenge of the Sith several times in theaters, and though it broke my heart to see Anakin’s fall, I never considered it to be a sad ending overall, when taken as a whole with the original trilogy.

When the Clone Wars aired in 2008, I was ecstatic. Here was an Anakin I could actually get into (sorry, Hayden). I loved him. I adored Ahsoka. I wanted to marry Rex. The character development and the plot deepened my attachment to that era, and made me question everything I had previously taken for granted as good and bad. The whole system was flawed - the Republic and the Jedi. It wasn’t just a matter of mistakes being made and the wool being pulled over their eyes, there was deep rooted corruption in the side that I once felt was “good”. The light side and the dark side were not as black and white as I thought. I found myself strongly disliking some of the “good guys” and deeply sympathizing with some downright detestable people (I don’t know how you got me to care for Maul, Filoni - but well done). While the series had not yet ended, we knew where it was going. But still, we had already lived through the pain of Order 66, and we knew that the story would eventually culminate in a victory at the end of Return of the Jedi.

I couldn’t believe our luck when the first installment of the sequel trilogy hit the theaters in 2015. It had some of the feelings of a reboot, but I was beyond thrilled to have a series of Star Wars movies that I could now share with my children, as my parents had shared them with me. Though it was hard to say goodbye to the first love of my life, Han Solo - I just knew that Ben would be redeemed and Han’s sacrifice would be worth it...

2016 brought us Rogue One. We knew how that one was going to end too, but we still ate it up. I fell in love with a whole new set of characters, only to see each and every one of them die in the end. Talk about tragedy. But Leia’s line about hope reminded us that five minutes later, a whiny little farm boy was about to have his whole life upended in the best sort of way...so it was okay. Sort of.

Four years of Rebels ended in 2018, and it was so, so lovely - but it hurt so, so much. My perfect, beautiful space family had been torn apart with Kanan’s death. Ezra was missing. Rex was a 29-year-old man who should have been in his prime, but was instead struggling with the wear and tear of a 60-year-old body. Ahsoka was separated from him - AGAIN - and then she left with Sabine to look for Ezra. The ending still held the promise of the fight to come with the Empire, but the majority of our characters were left in a place of grief and brokenness.

2019 brought an end to the sequel trilogy. Once again, we had characters who pulled at our heartstrings, and an interesting struggle between “light” and “dark” that reminded me of the complexities introduced in The Clone Wars. It became more apparent than ever that balance in the Force did not mean the light triumphing over the dark, but instead a harmony between the two. At least, that’s what I thought. Until I watched every person I loved from the original trilogy die, Palpatine come back (and die) again, and the same exact ending of Return of the Jedi played out before me - except not as happy. Why? Because Anakin’s legacy had been reduced to ashes - his rise, fall, redemption, and sacrifice rendered null and void. The last Skywalker was redeemed and promptly killed, just like his grandfather. But because Rey Palpatine decided that she identified as Rey Skywalker, it was supposed to be okay. She then went to go hang out (or live?) alone on Tatooine because that’s where it all started. I was dumbfounded. This was the satisfying, hopeful, ending we were promised? How?

Believe it or not, I’m not here to trash the sequels - I enjoyed them very much - right up until the last 20 minutes. But in that space of time, the entire legacy of the Skywalker family went up in smoke, and the legacy of Star Wars along with it. Since Return of the Jedi, there have been no happy endings to a Star Wars movie trilogy or TV show. And with the ending of The Rise of Skywalker, that one happy ending we did have was ripped from us as well. Star Wars is now a never ending series of tragic endings. The lessons we are left with: Don’t fall in love in Star Wars, it will end badly. Your actions ultimately result in failure. As soon as you turn good, you die. There is no balance in the Force, just a pendulum swinging back and forth for all time.

Then The Clone Wars finally got her last season. I didn’t think Order 66 could have hurt worse, but Filoni set out to prove us all wrong...and succeeded. I’m still not over it. And once more, the bitterness I felt over the ending to the sequels (which had begun to subside) flared up all over again. What was it all for? All that pain. All that sacrifice. No happy endings.

I still love Star Wars. Nothing can take that away from me. No amount of bad writing can change that. And there are still plenty of good writers and creators working on Star Wars content. But good writers spinning tales of tragedy and endless pain negates the power of good writing. The Star Wars of my childhood is not the Star Wars of today. We wore out those VHS tapes because we loved the stories and the people. But my kids are not going to wear out DVDs where everyone they love dies or ends up alone. They aren’t going to queue up those digital movies and series over and over - because who wants to subject themselves to that kind of torture?

Just about the only safe space for Star Wars fans right now is fanfiction archives where the people who love the characters are busy writing fix-it fics to squeeze some sort of satisfying ending out of the canon content. The Mandalorian is literally our last hope for a Star Wars story that has the potential to end well. I swear, if Din Djarin ends up dead or alone at the end of this series, I’m going to lose it. The overwhelming sentiment of the Star Wars fanbase - from original trilogy fanboys to Tumblr blogging Reylos, and everyone in between - is that of dissatisfaction with canon content (with the exception of The Mandalorian). So much so, that many fans are just saying “screw it” and churning out a myriad of fanfiction AUs because there is no way to salvage what has been written. Half of Tumblr is in therapy after The Rise of Skywalker ending and the last episode of Clone Wars - but they weren’t exactly stable to begin with. The other forums and social media platforms are not much better, though.

It’s not just about the quality of writing - because Filoni and co. have done exceptional work with The Clone Wars, Rebels, and The Mandalorian. It’s the tragedy, guys. We can’t take it anymore. Is this really what we want the Star Wars legacy to be? Sadness? Despair? It’s a story about war - people are going to die. I get that. Victory comes at a price, but the cost can’t be worse than the victory. I want to sit down with my kids and watch Star Wars over and over again. The Mandalorian has given us a taste of that - but I’m almost afraid of where it will go. We’ve been burned so many times, I’m beginning to know what Anakin felt like on Mustafar - writhing in agony and screaming “I hate you” to someone he once loved.

I remember happier days when Luke and Leia and Han were laughing and smiling with their friends while Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin looked on. I want that back. Filoni. Favreau. Creators. Writers. Producers. Directors. You are our only hope for canon content. Use The Mandalorian wisely. Use Din’s story to bless other characters. Here’s some ideas:

Let Din have a happy ending! Preferably with someone he loves and respects at his side (like Cara).

Let Cara become a Mandalorian - and put Paz Vizsla in charge of her training (we need to see them spar).

Let what’s left of the Tribe establish a new Mandalorian colony - and let Sabine Wren lead it. And give her that Darksaber back - she earned it.

Let Ezra come back from regions unknown with a deeper understanding of the Force, and have him train the child in the new colony.

Forget the Jedi and Sith, let’s start a medical training center/hospital run by Force users who can help heal people when modern medicine fails!

Ahsoka can use her talents for that too.

Find the rest of the child’s race and bring any of their Force sensitives onboard.

Let Boba Fett and Din have their epic showdown, but then use a sample of Boba’s unaltered DNA and some mystical Force healing to restore Rex’s body to what a 43-year-old should be (and then he can marry Ahsoka so we can have the Clone/Jedi couple we always wanted...thanks to you, Filoni).

Let the Mandalorians partner with the New Republic in the Outer Rim as law enforcement instead of bounty hunters, so they can get their reputation back.

They can train new recruits and pilots, just like Fenn Rau trained clones.

Let them keep their autonomy and traditions, while helping keep the New Republic honest.

Let them be a force for good in the galaxy, for once.

The Mandalorian could serve as the vessel to give a lot of characters with unresolved or tragic storylines some closure and better endings. If not The Mandalorian, then other new shows. My 6-year-old daughter wants nothing more than to be Ahsoka Tano. My 3-year-old son asks me to watch The Mandalorian every day. My 18-month-old daughter walks around in her brother’s Mandalorian helmet babbling “Way”. Please let me share the Star Wars legacy that I grew up loving with them. Let me show them the happy endings I enjoyed. Let me show them that even in the midst of conflict, not every life has to be ruined. Let me show them a Star Wars story with a satisfying ending. Hope. Redemption. Love. That’s what Star Wars means to me.

May the Force be With You (and your pens),

Rebekah, A Star Wars Fan

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ofthedirewolves · 6 years ago

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First Guy Wins - A Queliot Meta

I was rewatching The Magicians and was struck by a realization. Eliot and Queliot fit the “First Girl Wins” romantic trope. Yes, in this case, Eliot is a guy, not a girl but the trope still works.

Credit where credit is due, this is based by @scullylikesscience ‘s “First Girl Wins” meta.

When I first realized that Queliot definitely seemed to be the road the writers were going I was a bit cynical. I have quite a lot of experience and have been betrayed by many a showrunner.

I thought the writers had just seen that Queliot was more popular and course-corrected. Then I started my rewatch and realized that as much as the showrunners love claiming they’re winging it, this might have been planned after all.

It could still be a happy coincidence so I’m not going to give them too much credit. For the likes of this meta let’s focus on the facts and the characters.

We’re going to analyze Quentin and Eliot’s relationship through the lens of “First Girl Wins”

In romantic works, the first girl person introduced — either overall or as a potential Love Interest — has a very good chance of ending up with the protagonist (especially if the protagonist is male).

There are all sorts of explanations as to why this is. Things ending up the same place they started is a very old narrative technique.

From a Doylist point of view, the Law of Conservation of Detail suggests introducing the Love Interest early. An early introduction allows you to get the audience interested in her and rooting for her, gives you space for Character Development, and give her relationship with her (eventual) partner the most time to develop organically.

Eliot gets introduced pretty early, has a lot of character development outside of his relationship with Quentin and Queliot definitely has developed organically.

Is it the first girl the protagonist meets according to In-Universe chronology, even if we first see her halfway through the show's run? The first one to show romantic feelings? The first new girl the protagonist meets?

Eliot isn’t the first possible love interest that gets introduced, that’s actually Julia, then it’s Eliot, followed by Alice in the last place. It is in their introductions though that tells us that it’s actually Eliot that gets the title of First Girl™.

If you're suspecting some girl is supposed to be the First Girl™, a good idea would be to take a look at how the writer has played her up.

Is he a major character?

Eliot Waugh is one of the show’s leading characters ✔

Is the "first" interaction led up to, emphasized, treated as a big deal?

We first see him in the background as Quentin walks towards Brakebills. The camera shot is an Extreme Long Shot.

The camera focuses on him smoking for a bit (Wide Shot) until we see Quentin actually approach.

The camera closes on him with a medium shot as he talks to Quentin, then it’s a Medium Close Up as he gets down and introduces himself.

We see Quentin lose his cool and then he follows after Eliot. Asking if he’s hallucinating. Eliot and Quentin are in the same frame until they get to the exam which is where Eliot’s introduction ends.

This connects Eliot to Brakebills/Magic. So yes it’s definitely a big deal ✔

All other things being equal, is he a strong contender for being the protagonist's Love Interest?

Quentin and Eliot spend a lot of the first episodes together. The first person Quentin truly opens up to is Eliot (and Eliot opens up in return.) Eliot tells him one of his darkest secrets, while Quentin tells him about the hospital. The person he talks to about his worries re: getting expelled is Eliot.

1x02

In 1x03 Eliot goes to Quentin for help in finding the missing book. Thanks to this Quentin is introduced to the Hedge Witches, not only that but to the fact that Julia is one of them. Which means Eliot is there for Quentin and Julia’s big argument. This means Eliot has seen both sides of Q’s life (before Brakebills and after).

In 1x04 when Quentin gets stuck in Marina and Julia’s spell, Eliot is not only in the spell but visibly worried about Q outside of the spell.

Not only that but we actually see Eliot getting defensive with Julia.

When Quentin breaks out of it, the first person we see go to him is Eliot. Throughout the next couple of episodes, it seems there’s always a scene with the two of them together. The only time they don’t share screentime is in 1x07 (bc Q is with Mayakovsky and we’ll get to that later).

In 1x11 they literally have sex. Yes they’re high on emotions and it’s a threesome with Margo but it happened. If you hadn’t guessed by this point that Eliot is a valid romantic choice this made it more clear.

There’s no Straight Guy™ Freakout. Quentin was never written as a straight character. From his first interaction with Eliot, we see that Quentin is attracted to him. The only negative connotation the scene has it that it’s cheating because Quentin was in a relationship at the time.

Throughout Season 1 a lot of the major moments for Quentin himself happen with Eliot or around Eliot. Quentin might get expelled? Eliot is there. Confrontation with Julia? Eliot is there. His dad has cancer? Eliot and Margo help him out. Quentin gets separated from the group? Eliot sends a paper airplane to tell them where they are. This season establishes that Eliot is an important person in Quentin’s life.

In 2x01 we get the crowning scene between Eliot and Quentin and not only does it have very romantic vibes but the camera shots tell us a lot about these two characters. We get a Full Shot of the whole group before it becomes a lot more intimate.

The speech that Quentin gives Eliot is the longest of all the Coronation speeches. From Eliot’s side, we get Close-Ups. Close Ups show us what the character is feeling at this moment. We see an Eliot with tears in his eyes looking up at Quentin with so much love.

On his side, Quentin has a Medium Close Up all we see in his eyes is pride. Despite the fact that they haven’t had the best relationship recently Quentin still deeply cares.

Both of them look at each other. The camera focuses on both of them until the moment is over and the camera turns to Penny and the scene continues.

So is he a strong contender for being the protagonist's Love Interest? Considering this is only a smidge of their interactions? I would say definitely ✔.

(I could talk about all their interactions, especially “A Life in a Day” but then we’d be here all year and I wanted to focus on their earlier establishing scenes)

The First Girl will rarely be the first one to confess her feelings, admit them,

Pretty much all the romantic interactions between them have been initiated by Quentin rather than Eliot.

Back in 3x05, we see that Quentin is the one that first kisses Eliot. They live their life together and raise a family.

In 4x05 it’s revealed that after they got their memories back Quentin put himself out there. We see a Quentin who is sure that he loves Eliot “who gets that kind of proof of concept”. It doesn’t go well for him but he did it.

In fact, he's much likelier to be the one who does it last

We don’t get the full realization of Eliot’s feelings until 4x05. I think Eliot has known for a while that he loves Quentin, but it's just been implied (few people can heart eye as Hale can). But the reason I mention it is that this is where Eliot realizes he has to do something about it. The ball is in his court.

With his small window of opportunity, he tries to convey his feelings to Quentin while also giving him a reason to fight “Peaches and plums motherfucker, I’m alive in here”.

Complications will abound, Romantic False Leads will show up,

Most of Season 1’s romantic subplot is Quentin/Alice and later Eliot/Mike. The interesting thing is that both of the Romantic False Leads appear in the same episode (1x07). Alice has been there from the first episode but 1x07 is the episode where she and Quentin hook up. Coincidentally the same when Eliot and Mike hook up.

Quentin falls in love with Alice while Eliot is very deeply into Mike. Of course, both relationships end in tragedy. Eliot has to kill Mike to protect the rest and Alice dies defeating the beast. The pain of his actions makes Eliot turn towards substance abuse which leads to him going to Fillory with the rest. It sets him on a path that deviates from Quentin’s.

Quentin’s plot is about bringing Alice back from being a Niffin. Yet when he does she hates him for it. So their relationship fizzles out and never truly recovers.

In Eliot’s case, we also get Idri as a false romantic lead as they did technically get engaged and were clearly attracted to each other.

misunderstandings will arise between them, pride and denial will keep them apart.

The biggest misunderstanding between the two comes from the same scene in 4x05. Eliot believes that Quentin wouldn’t choose him if they had a choice. He gets scared and so he pushes Quentin away. Eliot mistakenly believes Q is straight so that’s probably the biggest misunderstanding between them. Quentin interprets it as Eliot not choosing him if he had a choice.

The misunderstanding gets worse when we remember 3x06 had Eliot rejecting Quentin’s idea of going on a quest. He has a perfectly valid reason but Quentin probably sees it as another rejection from the man he is in love with.

They’re both in love with each other but neither believes the other would choose him. Miscommunication is a large part of romantic tropes.

A more subtle tactic is to get the First Girl "off the radar" somehow —

Ironically enough Queliot fits this criterion as well. Eliot is married to Fen (and later engaged to Idri) while stuck in Fillory being High King the majority of seasons 2 and 3. While Quentin is dealing with Niffin!Alice and helping Julia in Season 2, and largely involved in the Key Quest in Season 3.

That doesn’t mean they don’t see each other because they do. They just can go periods of time without sharing meaningful screentime (especially in regards to show-time as time in the show passes differently than how we see it episode by episode).

You can expect an in-universe justification for how these two people met so early and took so long to figure out they belong together.

In Queliot’s case, it’s misunderstandings, romantic false leads, magical quests, their own stupidity, false identities and of course the fact that one of them is possessed by a monster.

The fact of the matter is that Eliot fits pretty much all the criteria for being the First Girl (or in this case First Guy). So whether it was on purpose or just a happy accident it still counts.

Eliot Waugh is the First Guy™ which leads me to believe great things are on the way for Queliot. We just have to sit back and enjoy the ride.

(Remember to pack tissues, as I have a feeling the writers aren’t done torturing us yet)

#Queliot #Queliot meta #Eliot Waugh #the magicians #the magicians meta #Quentin Coldwater #this turned out so much longer than I expected #but I'm proud of it #Yes I went all film major on this.. at least my degree got used for something #maii meta #sweetestinthegale #anniebibananie #missgoalie75 #wedlakeserenities

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roxannepolice · 6 years ago

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But yah rey as a character is just so frustrating you know? Cause like, yeah sure she could be complex with a powerful arc where shes forced to come to terms with the fact she wasted years of her life on self-imposed delusions in a cathartic way, or she could be a flat piece of marketing cardboard which Disney is banking on vagina+superpowers=profit without having to go through that persnicty character flaw overcoming or the like. Because like you said, hearing shes a nobody (which ngl, her assuming she was a somebody wasn’t really ever supported in tfa, just that her family was coming back and she desperately wanted them to) is apparently the worst thing but it changes absolutely nothing, not her approach, not her demeanor , if vaguely sad is the absolute worse a character is gonna experience in a goddamn space opera then yeah, full offense ill take the l on Mary sue discourse but her character will definitely be a boring ass wash. We all make fun of whiny new hope Luke but him being a kinda nuisance to both the audience and those around him is what made is transformation into full blown Jedi knight so powerful. With Rey so far what weve got is badass perfect cinnamon roll finally get her due as such, which is clearly working for some people, but I fail to see how that isn’t spectacularly tone deaf to make a protag in this genre such. Operas about drama, not patting you on the back. Rey (assuming she remains as is) would’ve been fine as a protag s the only piece of Star Wars media we ever got was a new hope. But rn she a chosen one architype (and I know that bunch of ppl are gonna go but the series ‘but shes not the chosen one, Anakin still is, the new series isn’t trying to make her one!’ but lets not beat around the burning bush, if u got a character that walks on water and the reason why is because god said so, ur dealing with a chosen one trope and if a character is star wars is made ultrapowerful in lore breaking ways because force said so? Yeah were dealing with a chosen one.) when we had both the deconstruction and the reconstruction done. Shes a straight hero when the success of the ot rest on hitting the formula near perfect the first time. What exactly is Rey, the individual character, bringing to the table? What makes her story supposedly so important the a perfectly good ending had to be made invalid to tell it? A bunch of ppl will say heroines’ journey! But if that’s the case I gotta say, wheres all the feminine shit? Im serious, if the heroines journey is reintegrating the feminine and realizing ‘oh shit mom had a point’ there where is both the feminine skills/coping mechanism and the mom? I mean I saw some ppl arguing for leia in a ‘reys Persephone!’ meta (she isn’t, you can make a much better case for ben himself as Persephone to be quite frank, yall are focusing so much on the trees ((girl gets abducted by guy)) that u forgot the forest existed, the actually story ((girl winds up queen on the underworld, well gee whiz which character just took control of that after leaving the world of living and a grieving divine mother behind, it’s a mystery apparently) behind, it’s a mystery apparently) ((but seriously though even if we hope for dark rey does anyone assume its gonna be taking control of a dark/dead coded org at least partially at this point, do you, do you really??). but given the fact she had what, one line of screen dialogue that’s breaking ur arm with that stretch. As far as skills go I guess you could make an argument for scavenging, but if that’s the case dlf did a shit job of conveying that as female-coded. Everything about rey in tfa seems deliberately androgynous, and yeah, she had her hair let down/mascara moment, but that’s tied to her ‘failure’ on the supremacy thus something nw.SPEAKIGN OF FAILURES ON THE SUPERAMCY AND LACK THERE OF. I find it kind funny that bunch of reylo bnfs (you know who they are) are all ‘hur dur fanboys/antis are dumb and don’t get story structure.’ And then going, ‘why are yall asking how/assuming rey fucked up in throne room/climax of her story in the second portion/darkest point of her character arc? Why do you hate women/ur own ovaries so much?’ because it like walking into a prefurnished house and being told by the relator ‘HERES THE LIVING ROOM’ and having no damn couch. It’s a living room, I expect a couch here. And in a movie where it’s the low point of a character arc and they drag puppet yoda out to tell me the movie is about failure, I expect a damn failure in whats clearly the climax of the characters arc for this movie. As it stands now there are three possibilities imo. 1st, rey had no failure, she is the pure badass maid o light ppl want and every inch the boring cardboard she is accused of by fanbros, remains static, and is relegated to an also ran to benlo taking the most compelling character trophy this trilogy in 10 yrs2nd possibility and the one im hoping for, failure speech wasn’t just thematic explanation but also foreshadowing, rey fucks up big and dramatic in a way that makes her manage to stand out as unique with both her contemporaries and her predecessors(last part, if its ever to much lemme know pls im sorry i just gotta get it out) 3rd and most likely possibility, rey isn’t the main character, benlo is and that’s why his failure both moral in the throne room and logistic on criat take center stage for the last third or so of the movie. Rey is merely a pov character to tell the dramatic villain protag story they wanted and have their very marketable unproblematic Disney heroine cake too.

Ok, so this discourse kinda died down by now, but thanks to that it’s possible to maybe have a calmer look at it I’m totally not trying to justify my late response.

Anyway, the good result is that quite recently my brother, who’s not overly taken with Rey - or the sequels in general, for that matter - said something which really stuck with me as a possible crux of the problem:

She’s neither comical nor tragical. Just bland.

This neither comical nor tragical really struck me. And the more I though about it, the more it was appearing to me that this qualm really applies to the sequels as a whole. The thing is that DLF are essentially telling a straightforward story that they’re trying to make captivatingly convoluted. And not just make, but keep this appearance over four years. And this is... a narrative teeth crasher. Like, when you’re honest about the endgame (in the context of the most structural meanings of comedy and tragedy), you can maintain a decorum, though you can also play with it, of course, whereas when you don’t want to be honest about the endgame, you end up mixing the styles somewhat messily. You can’t break or discuss with the rules without acknowledging them, so to speak. Because the originals were honest about the happy/hopeful endgame (the first episode is title A New Hope ffs), they could allow themselves deeply tragic moments like Larses’ deaths, Han getting frozen, destruction of Alderaan, etc. Because the prequels were open about being a tragedy, they could allow themselves lighthearted comic relief for the sake of lighthearted comic relief.

The sequels... badly want us to consider the possibility of FO winning and Ben dying unredeemed while simultaneously insisting we root for those things not happening, while appearing conscious we’re definitely not buying the former and the latter only somewhat. And it’s tiresome. Dishonest. And indeed, bland. If the story is a tragedy it will be a bloodcurdlingly real one, if it’s a comedy it will be a borderline grotesque one.

But yeah, returning to Rey, I guess as the main character she’s a lens which focuses the above problems. A very bitter tragedy of what her parents did t her prevents her from being comfortably comical whereas whoohooos I like thats and prancing like a husky on red bull over idols and visions because it’s for children so it must be hopeful prevents her from being intriguingly tragical. So I guess the intentioned effect was tragicomism but, from pov of an engaged casual fan that is my bro, it’s neither.

As far as Rey’s heroine’s journey lacking some of the usual elements, I blame it on Disney being... a bit too ambitious, maybe. I think they tried to make a heroine’s journey that isn’t ostentaciously seeped in traditional feminine/masculine traits, maintains the structure without what could be called accidentals. On the one hand, I would point out that hero’s journey has pretty much desexualised itself over time, we are rather accustomed to “shero’s” journeys, but on the other... maybe Disney set out on a too novel a territory and may crack their teeth on it, alongside trying to out-Vader Vader at redemption. To elucidate, “toxic femininity” in which a heroine is supposed to find herself in the beginning of her journey, in Rey’s case is uprooted from any of our usual concepts of feminine-masculine social roles (it’s space, duh). My interpretation is that Rey’s version of toxic femininity kind of exists in contrast with Kylo Ben’s version of toxic masculinity - and since the apparent focus of the story is the attitude towards the past/parent figures, toxic femininity would mean her clutching onto the past. Which is why I predict that some act of IX will find Rey inebriated with apparent success in masculine world, meaning she’ll be the one rejecting the old gods this time - and I would point out that panel in Poe comic where she shows herself more sceptical towards idolisation of past don’t mind me, I’m just expressingmy trash dreams for a proper sith lady Rey.

Then again, Rian Johnson said she already found perfect balance between Luke’s clinginess and Kylo’s rejection of the past, so... idk, maybe I’m giving DLF too much credit again.

As for the Persephone thing, I guess the rub is that this reylo reading focuses less on the traditional reading of the myth (where Demeter is the actual main character and Kore is a Princess Peach MacGuffin) and more of an interpretation of it as one of the eldest (at least in Europe) versions of story depicting a transition of a girl into a woman, making Persephone more of a protagonist.

Like, y’know, this Persephone (D. G. Rosetti, source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proserpine_(Rossetti_painting))

I’m no expert, but myths can lose their original meanings because of power relations (anyone still remember about Dionysus, the god associated with excessive drinking, going through a very Christ-like death and resurrection?) and I think it’s possible that this is the case with the story of Persephone becoming a pre-scientific explanation of seasons changing over the year. So teah, that’s how I always understood the Persephone theme regarding Rey.

But yes, I must agree that I’m confused about Disney’s handling of the mother figure, which... Look, SW became a legend of a modern myth because of how epically Lucas handled the hero dealing with his very explicit father. So yes, I don’t understand what exactly is their game with Rey Nobody from Nowhere in this regard. It’s one thing that they had a cool idea with giving her no lineage, another that parent figures are an essential element of archetypal journeys and from symbolic viewpoint the case of a female character the biological relationship is even more crucial than in male’s. And I swear to all the ewoks and porgs in the galaxy, I do hope Disney’s idea of Rey healing the mother/daughter divide isn’t through her healing the divide between Leia and Ben. Again, this isn’t the idealistic sphere. Just... no.

Anyway, I still maintain hope (this whole meta blog is built on hope) that Rey will indeed turn out to have a proper personal mistake which will make her stand out in the saga. I do have to admit, though, that I find your last theory very likely. I mean, even when I read all the reylo metas going oh, Rey is going to have such an exciting arc in IX, she has so much to deal with though of course it’s not going to compromise her morally, it will be sooo exciting, I just... f*ck’s sake, what you’re describing isn’t a dramatic character only a dramatised role model. It’s great if that’s your thing, but don’t claim it is space opera-worthy, in operas people drown themselves because of cursed sailors, kill over a break up, decapitate over a bad dream and get dragged to hell over a dinner, not persuade their fallen lovers to change their ways, let alone patienly wait for them the understand the error of their ways (and if they do it’s doomed to end in someone dying).

#asks #sw negativity #just because i love doesn't mean i can't be critical #heroine's journey #long asks anon

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