#like please stop psychoanalysing me

[chronic-cynic]

I fucking hate it when people are concerned about my well-being. Please, just keep your pity to yourself. I’m 110% alright.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

If I Ask Nicely

Steven Grant x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Kinktober 2023 Masterlist • Day 22: Voice Kink

Summary: Steven uses your appreciation for his voice to his complete advantage.

A/N: This was meant to be for kinktober 2023 (I'm so sorry). One day I'm sure someone is going to psychoanalyse me based on my fics. Then I'll be in trouble.

Warnings: voice kink, kissing, fingering, lube, dildos, double penetration, Steven just running his mouth, bit of soft dom! Steven, not beta read, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 1299

Part of you is sure you should have never told Steven that you liked the sound of his voice so much.

Because the second he found out he used it to his complete advantage, batting his eyes at you and asking sweetly for things. It was innocent, at first, just testing the waters. But it quickly dissolved into him being as cheeky as possible when you were both alone. 

Which is how you found yourself completely naked, your back against his warm chest, your hands in his. He moved your fingers to where he wanted them, whispering filth into your ear. 

“That's it love, that's it. Being so good for me.” He kisses your neck lightly and you whine. 

“Keep touching yourself, yeah?” He keeps one hand on your breast and the other between your spread legs. “Feels so good, doesn't it?” 

You gasp and nod, rocking back slightly to feel his heavy cock pressed between your bodies. 

“If I knew you liked my voice this much I would have made you do so many things sooner.” He chuckles as he rubs your fingers against your clit in soft circles, delighting when you jump and gasp. 

“Want to make you all wet beforehand.” He breathes heavily, “Want to slip in so easy.” 

Steven groans as he moves his fingers down, teasing your entrance.

“Steven,” you moan, your back arching.

“That's it, love, you keep playing here.” He taps your fingers against your clit. “And I'll play here, hmm? Sounds good? I know it does.” 

You whine, throwing your head back against his shoulder as he presses the tip of two fingers inside, but doesn't go any deeper. 

“God, you're so wet.” His breath is warm against your skin, a deep growl to his words. “Want you to be fucking soaking. Can you do that love? Can you do that for me?” 

You nod, gasping as you rub your clit, your thighs shivering as he slips a little deeper, rewarding you.

 “Oh, so good love, so good for me.” He groans, “Gonna lube you up after this, want you so slippery, want to fuck you so hard and fill you up and then fuck you again.” 

You writhe in his arms, moaning loudly as he curls his fingers, stroking against your walls in a come hither motion. 

“Oh!” You sob, shaking. 

“That so good? You gonna come just from a tiny touch? I think you are.” He purrs and nips at the shell of your ear. He rubs his erection slightly against your backside, groaning as the pleasure spirals in his stomach. 

You manage to moan his name, so close you can taste it, shivering in his touch. 

“Stop, stop,” he whispers, moving his fingers out of you and taking your hand in his.

You whine, tears at the corners of your eyes. “Please.” 

“Here, here,” he soothes, kissing your neck and wrapping one arm around you while he rummages in the bedside table with the other. “So good love, so good.” He sucks lightly at your pulse point before he moves back a fraction. “Just a second love, one second.” 

He quickly pours lube all over his aching cock, hissing as he rubs the cool liquid down his weeping length and then puts his hands on your waist and helps you up and back. 

“Just stay there one second,” he groans, spreading your lips apart with this thumb and chuckling when you shiver. He presses his tip against you, slowly sinking in and moaning when you gasp. 

“Being so good for me.” He repeats and breathes deeply as he guides you down, panting as you stretch and pulse around his cock. 

You bite your lip, your breath robbed from you as you sink, swallowing more and more of his thick length. “Steven,” you whine, unable to help yourself. 

Most of the time you called him by pet names, but you knew how much he loved you saying his name in the bedroom.

He hisses as he bottoms out, pulling you back to rest against him and mouthing at your neck once more. “You gonna be good?” He mutters, breathing hard.

You whine an affirmative. 

“Good, god you��re so nice and wet, make me just want to fill you up right now,” he takes the dildo he pulled out from the drawer in his right hand and coats it just as liberally in lube.

You watch him, hypnotised by how he strokes it. 

“You gonna take it?”

You nod, swallowing eagerly and he groans again, his eyes rolling back.

“So fucking sexy, you know that?” He holds the dildo in his right hand and rubs your clit with his lubed left fingers, easing down to lightly stroke at where you’re split open and where the base of his cock just rests inside. 

Steven slowly spreads you a little wider, teasing one finger into you and grinning when you shudder. “Just tell me if it’s too much, love, okay?” 

You nod, “okay.” 

“Good, good,” he kisses your temple and pushes the tip of the dildo against your pussy, just above his heavy cock. 

You gasp as he starts to ease it inside, your back arching as you're stretched so wide. It’s almost painful, almost too much. The sensation burning on your tongue but igniting a deep ache in your chest. 

“Oh, you’re doing so well love, so well.” Steven groans, easing the dildo in slowly an inch then out half an inch and repeat. “This is what it would feel like if Marc or Jake could be here physically too, god we’d all stuff you so full.” 

You moan, your hips bucking forward. 

Steven wriggles, shivering as you squeeze and the ribbed silicon of the dildo rubs up against his cock. When it finally rests completely inside he breathes out deeply. 

“God,” he places sloppy kisses all over your shoulder, “feels amazing, you okay love?” 

You nod, rocking your hips ever so slightly. “Please Steven, I want…” “Want to come?” 

You nod again.

He chuckles, “You’d let me do anything wouldn’t you, if I asked?” 

“Yes.” You whine. 

“Fuck.” He hisses as he begins to pump the dildo in and out of your slowly, revelling in how it drags along both of you, how you pulse and gasp and rock in his arms. 

“Next time we’ll get one inside me too yeah? Get us both really full.” He groans, “Would you like that?” He bites his lip, unable to stop the words from falling out now he’s started. “One of those remote vibrating ones and you can hold the controls and, fuck, be in charge of that while I fuck you and-”

You moan loudly, your limbs shaking and tensing as he presses the dildo deliciously against your walls, making you scream.

“Oh love, that’s it, that’s it, come on, give it to me, let me have it.” He groans, rocking you faster.

You grab hold of any part of him you can reach, whining at spasming as pleasure washes over you, going lightheaded as he pants and whispers in your ear. 

You feel him tense and Steven swears as he follows you, pumping you full of hot thick cum. 

He nuzzles into your neck as he slowly eases the dildo, and himself, out of you, comforting you as you whine softly, and helps you onto your back on the mattress. 

He softly kisses your lips, grinning when you wrap your arms around his neck and he settles between your legs.

Gently, he takes his semi hard cock in hand and delicately begins to ease it back inside of you. 

You moan softly, the sensation not uncomfortable but unexpected. Yet, in spite of that, you still crave it.

“Shh love, it’s okay, you’ll let me, if I ask nicely, won’t you?” 

Thank you for reading!

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[baneonono]

watch house for the first time with me

we’ve made it through season 2 and through the first five episodes of season 3 and there was lots to scream about. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to hate the whole house gets arrested plot. like I’m gonna furious typing out whole essays type mad but we’ll see.

21

GUYS I WANT HOUSE TO WEAR THE SUIT. I UNDERSTAND THAT HE DOESNT THINK IT MATTERS BUT IM LOSING MY MIND. I KNOW EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE OKAY BUT IM STRESSED AND CAN HOUSE JUST WEAR A SUIT

Can everyone just be fixed please I don’t want to deal with this anymore

22

If that baby died, I’m crying

Are we starting Wilson Cuddy stuff because boring

Chase working at the nicu😭😭😭😭

HE CHOSE NICU😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Chase working with kids😭😭😭😭😭😭

Honestly house is real for wanting foreman to fight with him. Like it’s just his way of wanting original thoughts and that is relatable

Wilson checking cuddy for cancer-

NO THE BABY DIED

Chase my baby boy I adore you it’s okay

Cuddy wanted Wilson to be the father of her child😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I’m gonna break down if we get a scene of Wilson hearing this

23

House being a piano player is actually one of my favorite things about him

Dude I trust House but like I wouldn’t trust him that much @ cuddy

IS WILSON JEALOUS THAT HOUSE HAS ANOTHER FRIEND

I would do so much for James Wilson. I don’t think yall understand. I love him dearly

The entire diagnosis department pacing is so funny

24

SOMEONE SHOT HOUSE. BABE THAT IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT JERK

“I wanted to see you suffer” girl he suffers every day you just had to come into the hospital and watch

“She killed herself” still not House’s fault bro

Wilson doing houses physical therapy is hilarious

I need house back 

This episode is weird

What in the world did I just watch

Season threeeeeeee

1

Okay I am so grateful we got the scene of Cuddy and Wilson trying to come up with cases to give house. Like😭😭😭😭😭 I love them

Chases haircut😭 he looks amazing

House lost his leg pain and got 10x the whimsy

“I’m not going away” please never go away Wilson 

Wilson. House was right. What do you mean you can’t tell him. 

2

Wilson maybe you should tell house that he was right. Listen to Cuddy. Wilson I adore you why are you doing this to me. 

Chase winking at the parents🥰

Whaaaattttt lying to house has consequences. Telling him that he’s bad at his job affects him. That’s so craaaazzzzy

Oh Wilson comparing house to Icarus, you’re so iconic. I love my toxic old men yaoi with Greek mythology references. That’s actually the only way I’ll tolerate it

3

Everyone is going through so many radical position shifts this episode. Guys can we have some consistency (@ cameron)

People just go running to Wilson when they want house to do something huh. 

I love when house operates on patients. Just love him entirely in his element

Awww house is proud of Cameron for killing a dude, it’s always nice to hear from our dad that he’s proud of us

4

House you do not need your carpet back. Why are you like this. Iconic but why

I need this girl to leave. House isn’t that attractive

I’m glad Cuddy is standing her ground on this one

Love how Wilson walked in on them in his office and just was like “weird typo”

Can Cameron stop psychoanalysing house 

Need this girl to stop 

Foreman you pawning that off in Wilson was not slick

HOUSE BEING GOOD WITH KIDS I LOVE TO SEE IT(also just taking drugs)

Wilson don’t let house out of your sight while he’s drugged, he’s got a girl really into him and I don’t think we should let him alone

House😭😭😭😭😭 please stop throwing away Wilson’s gifts

Cameron did not need to sit next to house

WILSON JUST WALKING OUT OF HIS OFFICE 

Thinking about the triplets going all over the hospital looking for house this episode

😭😭😭😭😭😭house got a gift😭😭😭😭😭😭oh my little neurodivergent bonding

5

This husband being so ride or die. I love to see it. Yes sir saw an opportunity to step in and took it. 

Oh she’s sick, okay well, we’ll get to see more of him?

House leaving to go break up Wilson flirting with a girl. Bro just say you’re jealous and go

THE LOOK ON CHASES FACE AT FOREMAN WHEN CAMERON SAID SHES HITTING THAT  WAS SO FUNNY. BABY BOY WHAT WAS THAT

“Great I haven’t committed a felony yet today” -Chase

Guys the pill only stops pregnancy, not STDs, maybe they wear conforms to prevent STDs

Why does Wilson just do things for house. I mean beyond being in love with him. 

I hate this apologzie to the patient thing today. I don’t care about this stupid jerk. I prefer my smart jerks

Really was not expecting an incest plot from this show but I should’ve. 

House getting arrested is insane

[lifenconcepts]

Hi I wanna talk to someone so im just gonna ramble in your askbox about brain words if that’s okay :D

is it only me who likes being psycoanalized?? Because I feel like I see a lot of people upset about it but it makes me feel seen in a way I don’t get a lot and it’s so fascinating!! Psychology in general is but like. You figured that out so easily?? From a few things?? Woaw!! And!! It’s accurate!! You perceived me accurately!!! I hate hate hate being perceived inaccurately. Also just like. please. tell me things about myself that will lead to late night sessions of over analyzing myself. I love it so much!! That reminds me, earlier I was with a friend and I have this weird thing where I can make my shoulder blades stick out freakishly far (I once opened a doorknob with them) and they said it was like wings bc im a dragon NOT MNOWING ABOUT ME BEING OTHERKIN!!!! It was so affirming. Anyway sorry for lots of ranting I was just bored and figured you’re just weird enough (/pos) to appreciate it? Maybe? Sorry if this is unwanted or intrusive tho

HIIII!! I love when people ramble oh goodness it’s lovely to read what you have to say!! Sorry for late response but I really do love this! Yes I’m absolutely weird enough for such topics!!

okay so, to your first question (no matter the rhetorical nature) I believe that many enjoy being psychoanalysed, most specifically people with neurodivergences, because it usually is much easier to have things blatantly given to you on a splatter which you can then reflect over if they’re true or not. Many ofcourse dislike bold claims their way but others (me too!) crave it because it allows you to have a starting point, because we carry so much in our brains that it’s easy to forget where it all begins and how to approach it! Easiest of all, is going to some random quiz (wether it be what character you are, do I have autism, or assigning you a concept) and then deducing yourself from the questions themselves and the results you get. But sadly what I noticed is that in most cases, especially stuff like zodiacs, they’re far too vague to be able to confidently stand by like “yeah this is me!” But it still doesn’t stop everyone.

especially most interesting of all is I noticed that even more matured individuals (haha like cheese) still fall into the trap of wanting to be like others. It’s usually a mask for being accepted, heard, and appreciated.. but it results in losing your sense of self (if you had any) and becoming much more confused. People crave a sense of belonging and purpose, no matter if meaning even matters to them but they just want to exist in a space that’s curated to them. And I know it from previous experience, but people even who never were worried about it begin questioning if they’re a therian/otherkin from seeing a lot of such content, endo systems and such, and self diagnosis of mental illnesses and/or disorders. Also the whole thing with name, gender, pronouns, sexuality - it’s seen as this big trio that eeeeveryone should know about, but to those which blatantly don’t have such a concept within their identity, they now go searching through information as to ‘why do I feel this way? Why don’t I feel connected to this? Is it something wrong with the stuff or with me? Maybe everyone feels only vague emotions about this? I should just choose something to fit in.’ which most forms as some incoherent impulse of desire in the mind. hey hey, and the point is not that we don’t deserve spaces or communities but rather that the very real result of such attention causing people to actively seek out whatever it is that they keep seeing, to the point of willing it into their lives. And I’ll be a bit open here, but I faintly believe some identities (not the term as a whole, it’d be very bold to claim an entire subcategory is all of such individuals) but like.. copinglinks, fictionkin, and some endo systems, I believe, follow this principle. “Willogenic” being a very self-aware term for this too!

But hey, everyone wants to know themselves and most don’t care to look any deeper, they’re patient and satisfied with their little world and think that ��if I don’t like when people bother me, then others don’t like it to’ (which by the way is a dumb mentality to have. You can’t paint your own experience and preferences onto other people as a ‘fact’) and basically almost everyone remains in their bubble no matter if they show it or not, and I assume you also do, because it never is clear if everyone thinks alike or will appreciate the same conversation. It’s just so hauntingly obvious that the loop of “I don’t know what the other is thinking and so I’ll just stay silent” from both sides, resulting in a looming silence between you and whoever it is you speak with.

Reflection is a natural part of life, not just purely regarding spirituality, but if you even slightly consider what is good or bad and what meaning is and why you are what you are, you already have some element of spirituality in ya. In fact, in my personal opinion, I believe that anyone who tries to understand themselves at a deeper level is much more capable and incredible of a person than they believe. Doubt can cause you to spiral but if you’re even slightly making an attempt, you’ll achieve heights like never before. Destroying old habits, forming new ones, being aware of mental dangers, avoiding triggers no matter how obscure, doing more of what makes you happy and satisfied, and overall having a self. Identity isn’t nowhere near as important as having a healthy relationship with yourself, but people just don’t seem to recognise it. That’s why I secretly despise those intro posts although it helps me understand someone new I followed, because really, if you’re actively following them you’ll recognise their habits. You can have a name in your profile description, but why do you crave to know what gender you have? To broadcast to the world where and how you feel attraction? Do you crave to be heard? You must enjoy the knowledge that we all love and adore you.

and hey, it’d probably make sense that on tumblr litterally everyone either is cool with your identity or interested in knowing more, with a few exceptions here and there if your algorithm is kind.

ah sorry, did I ramble too much from the main point? I love doing that ahaha. But basically it’s entirely natural and much MUCH more common than you think..

[sidebaxolotl]

I dont know you. I don’t know who made you feel like self loathing over something you can’t control, feel like simply allowing yourself to love is a sin, but please talk to a therapist. I’ve gone through your blog some and clearly this is taking a toll on you. This isn’t the SSA that is taking the toll. It’s the fact you feel as though your feelings are “temptation” like simply allowing yourself to be yourself is a sin.

please talk to a therapist. I’m kinda pissed at some of the things you’ve said, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling and that you don’t deserve help

Respectfully, you need to leave me alone.

My faith and my practice of such will always be more important than my sexuality. And acting on ssa is a sin so i will continue to fight it. I'm an adult who is capable of deciding how to live my life. This is what I've decided, so you need to respect that and move on with your day instead of condescending to strangers.

I don't get why you people project onto me consistently--if you actually knew me at a you'd know that I love myself a lot and I have no shame over my attractions at all. I'm not miserable or whatever. Fighting sin sucks sometimes regardless of what it is ur dealing with but that doesnt mean my life is terrible or that I hate myself.

You're absolutely right tho: reading my posts on the internet doesn't mean you know me. Definitely not enough to psychoanalyse me, so that needs to stop as well.

All that to say: leave me alone and worry about your own life <3

[f0point5]

I am so amused by people saying “Norris showed exactly who he is”… Like, that’s his job. From the driving up to the interviews. Imagine watching a random dude working in a bank having a conversation and then say stuff like “I know exactly who he is. In every single aspect of his life.” You don’t like a driver? Fine, go on. Please don’t try to Psychoanalyse their entire life, character and personal relationships. People need to stop being weird.

I know, right?

As if people don’t have work personalities? As if certain aspects of their personalities are not exacerbated by the job they do? Have people who think like this ever even had a job?

I think partly it’s because people assume that if you do a job you love that it must be a comfortable environment for you to work in which is not true by a long shot. These guys like to drive, that doesn’t mean they even remotely enjoy being in the paddock. Doesn’t mean they feel comfortable in front of a camera. Yes it’s a passion and they’re lucky to do it but it’s still their “9-5”.

I like to analyse people cos it’s fun for me. I’ve got theories and ideas etc., but at the end of the day it’s like, at least I know my theories are based off 1% of their personalities and even that might be totally fake 😂

[midnighteloquence]

long overdrawn sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

this is something that is extremely overdue and i hate to talk about it because this is a person that i really like (or used to i guess) but recently hes pissing me off so i got to thinking about stuff hes done and have decided to make a list! please use this to make judgements on him, thats what im gonna do since i still want to like him, ykwim?

im just gonna dive right into it ig… sigh

this is smth that made me feel soooo worthless and unworthy of love as it happened multiple times when i used to have a crush on him, but theres numerous times where he has gone from sweet and nice and smiley to literally so mean and avoidant. like one week he’ll be like “omg hii :)) wanna play roblox today?” and others it’ll seem like he genuinely hates me. and that really hurt me as it felt like i did something wrong and i didnt know what?? and whenever i asked what i did and asked if we’re still friends hed be like “wdym nothing happened”. if youre going to avoid me and be really fucking rude to me of course im gonna think something happened????? anyways i went on a tangent soz

terrible at communication. when you have to TELL him his flaws then he just deflects and sends memes and whatever. and then has the audacity to say IM bad at communication. at least id actually listen when being told what ive done wrong.

made a joke abt my depression (a couple times)

compared my mental state to his own because i “go out and draw”. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. all depressed people act differently. its like saying all depressed people are suicidal, no they arent. its like saying cutting is the only form of self harm, it isnt. there isnt one type of depression

when i told him about having been looked at in a swimming pool stall he jokingly said it was my fault for five minutes, before saying he was joking

the biggest manchild ive met. i thought it was C but then i found him. he will whine if you dont pay attention to everything he posts. and then points out people (🫵) that dont view everything he does

SO EGOTISTICAL. like please you arent all that

said “get better. because at least im trying” (not verbatim) which when you realise the context its so stupid. me saying characters are hot on my status isnt something i need to recover from. its fiction, it wont affect you, move on

at some point when he was going through another “im gonna avoid you and when im not avoiding you im gonna be mean to you” phase he has told me to stop being so ungrateful about my body (btw this was said when i was at an all time low and was extremely insecure about my body)

at some point i had asked to vent to him and said two things, and then a couple hours later he mocked me asking to vent to him (i had said “Can I vent to you?” and he said that exact same thing, just to say some stupid joke thing)

idk why but will always … me when i say smth about a character being hot?? like genuinely if youre tired of it then block me im not gonna change for you especially that (me liking fictional characters) bcs thats stupid

ANYTIME okay this is just a thing that peeves me but anytime i say something more than two words in a message he says “holy yap” STFU

dont act like you want me IF YOU DONT FUCKING WANT ME. DONT SAY ALL THAT SHIT, CALL ME PERFECT, SAY I CAN KISS YOU, ETC. IF YOU DONT WANT ME

this one time i was irritated (not at him specifically except i sorta was) and he was like “i will block you” as a threat (in a gc i think) and i said smth like “yeah sure if you dont wanna talk to me anymore block me its fine” and he was immediately so upset about it saying like “oh so you dont care?” like yeah i do im just saying if you dont wanna talk to me then dont ☠️

psychoanalysed my emotions and sent a video to me about crushes and how crushes are stupid and its just a brief infatuation, not love. and when i responded by saying “oh youre right it mustve been infatuation that i had because i really wanted to be in a relationship” he was immediately like “oh oh it makes me upset that you just used me as an outlet” no i didnt?? i didnt force anything upon you, never forced you to like me back, didnt even tell you i liked you till a couple months after i started liking you. i didnt use you as an outlet, i had just grown infatuated to you

called me deprived because i like fictional characters, and yet this entire list proves why i like characters more than actual men

every time i like a character he says im glazing when IM NOT. i am looking into a person’s character and i will go out of my way to learn more about said character so i dont mischaracterise them. i can point out characters flaws. like byakuya, (was gonna point out a flaw but id be here for ages analysing byakuya instead of talking about the actual subject). if i was glazing them, i would say that they are without fault, and defend them for every action, which i dont do

soz im really defensive about that

idk anymore

i ran out but theres definitely a bunch more. a lot of these are things i shoved under the rug because i do truly want to like him and every time hed be nice to me again i felt like he was a good person at heart, and that i could trust him with my life. but recently i am sure as hell disliking him. i really dont want to dislike him but the way my brain works is i’ll know when i dislike someone when they either reference my hyperfixations or “copy me/my mannerisms” and my brain immediately reacts negatively. if someone i love does it im very happy and when someone i dislike does it im peeved.

i think that youd like to know more stuff hes done other than be a baby, since ive kept a lot of this to myself and made sure i forgot it

[lechairnorizz4]

where is the real me? (where is the real me? where is the real me?)

— the prologue

- <3 -

the office was pretty basic, there was no art covering the beige walls, just diplomas, proof of hard-earned degrees. there were a couple plans situated in a few of the corners of the square room, and a desk was placed just in front of the big window, the sun glaring through obnoxiously, getting in his eyes as lando moved to the big sofa in the middle of the room. thankfully it wasn’t shining onto the sofa and he felt a bit better. the floor was solid oak, and the desk was made from the same type of wood, he realised as he moved closer. he scrunched his nose at the lack of carpet in the room. despite the fact that zak had told him she was a complete professional, he still wished the room was more calming. the brit tried to relax, but found himself too anxious so he fiddled with the rings on his fingers as he waited, legs bouncing at a million miles an hour it felt like. he tried to get them to stop, he really did, but he was too wound up.

he couldn’t do this, he suddenly thought. lando felt like he was going to be sick. he couldn’t disappoint them all by leaving, but the thought of spilling his whole life story to a stranger who was being paid to psychoanalyse him really did not sit well with him. he could still get up and leave now and be out of the building before she even arrived, but his body was frozen. He couldn’t worry anyone else. if they heard he hadn’t even stayed for his session they would be dragging him straight back here anyway, and he wouldn’t have any control of his life. not that he had much control on his life anymore anyway.

he inhaled sharply when the door behind him opened with a click. he didn’t turn around to face her. he needed to calm himself down first. he closed his eyes as he took another deep breath, and when he exhaled and opened his eyes, she had moved to her desk, typing something into her computer. she had long, dark brown hair, which was in small ringlets. there were a few folders stacked on top of each other on the desk, and lando assumed one of those was his file.

“i hope you weren’t waiting too long, mr. norris,” she apologised, still glued to her computer.

the brit shrugged his shoulders, “it’s fine. i had just sat down anyway”

she hummed and nodded her head. a few moments later she finished typing on her computer and turned around, pulling her own chair over. she sat down opposite him, brushing down her skirt before she crossed her legs and looked at him.

“so, mr. norris–,” she began, smiling at him.

“lando,” he corrected. she simply nodded her head at his interruption. she was probably used to that.

“so, lando… what is it that you’re aiming to achieve with these sessions?”

lando chewed on his bottom lip as he shrugged, unsure on what to say. it was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? he wasn’t here for himself. he was here to please his family, friends and bosses. he didn’t choose to be here, he just hadn’t been given much of a choice, really.

“that’s okay. you don’t have to know right now,” she reassured. her gaze was warm and inviting, and lando hated that he actually felt comforted from it. He turned his gaze down to his hands, willing for time to hurry up, “why don’t we just start from the beginning?”

lando chuckled softly, prompting her to tilt her head to the side. she remained silent, however, simply waiting for him to begin.

“i–uhm… i don’t even know where to begin.” he admitted weakly, lifting his gaze from his hands and shrugged again.

“it says here,” she swivelled in her chair and reached to her desk, grabbing one of the folders. she flipped through the pages, “...that you’re in the middle of season… why don’t we go back to the start of the season?”

lando nodded his head. he could do that.

—————————————— <3 ———————————————

omg so i hope you all enjoy this little snippet of what im currently working on! im so excited about this!

just so you all have some context this fic will be based around the 2024 season and it will basically be the deterioration of lando’s mental health.

this fic is pretty much a vent fic, as i have found myself struggling with my mental health this year like lando has so i have found myself relating to him so much right now.

please look after one another!

love you all!!

[trueloveandotherscificoncepts]

Oh my god I hadn't thought of that but that's hilarious!

The Doctor's all "it's okay, people usually take a while to adjust to the new me"

And Bill is just like "why did you turn yourself into exactly my type though?? What's that all about? Like, how does the regeneration stuff even work, is it based on subconscious wants or what?"

And The Doctor is just like "please stop psychoanalysing me, I'm still getting used to my new legs"

Thinking about the whiplash Bill would have gotten if she’d stayed with the Doctor and saw them regenerate from an angry grandfather into Jodie fucking Whittaker

[series-of-bad-ideas-deactivated]

catch me out here having an existential crisis over an idle game-

[matthias-the-tulip]

parts i hope they keep in the red white and royal blue movie: a list.

for @failinginwhatdirection here you go

• "i'm going to throw up on you" at the stables

• "i'd rather be waterboarded" also at the stables

• "i bet he has a secret lovechild," nora says. "or he's gay. or he has a secret gay lovechild." "it's probably in case i see his equerry putting his batteries back in," alex says.

• midnight ice cream on instagram and "i didn't know you wore glasses."

• the awkward fist bump on "this morning"

• "do you mind?" in the cupboard at the hospital

• "you're not the prince of me"

• "i cannot believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are."

• "are you psychoanalysing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that."

• "is that the time you threatened to push me into the thames?"

• "no booty calls."

• "it was like you were trying to set him on fire with your mind."

• "don't let the papers print lies about me after i've garroted myself with my tie."

• "you are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life."

• the whole turkey situation but they really can't get rid of that it's too important - "buy a summer home in majorca with the turkey"

• mr wobbles and jabba cakes please.

• "you're jeff goldblum"

• "I BEG YOU TO NOT"

• "please do not attempt to steal my shine. you will fail and i will be embarrassed for you."

• "christ, you are as thick as it gets."

• alex falling while running with june cause he was thinking about henry

• "still waters, deep dicking.”

• “prince henry is a biscuit,” nora says, “let him sop you up.”

• "you're not going to kill him, are you?" she says. "probably not," alex tells her

• "i mean, er, should we, i dunno, slow down?" henry says, cringing so hard at himself that one eye closes. "go for dinner first, or-"

• "i'm going to die," henry says helplessly. "i'm going to kill you," alex tells him. "yes, you are," henry agrees.

• alex fixing his hair for him

• fucking eyelashes

• the whole polo kit situation. henry slowly putting his foot back on the floor 😂

• "you're a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and i'm going to kiss you until you forget how to talk."

• birthday floggings et al

• i will staple your dick to the inside of your leg

• baby.

• "i miss you," alex says before he can stop himself. he instantly regrets it, but henry says, "i miss you too."

• "i want to... put my fingers in his mouth..." she moans, sounding horrified. (WE NEED JUNE)

• "if only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when american boys with chin dimples are mean to him."

• just the whole karaoke bar situation. plz.

• o captain, my captain

• "when at wimbledon."

• "i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom"

• "and you are good. most things are awful most of the time, but you're good."

• "he is truly a picture, wearing an expression of bewildered panic and absolutely nothing else."

• all of zahra's little quips - "every time i see you, it takes another year off my life." - "ask me if i'm afraid of the crown."

• SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION WITH FOREIGN MONARCHS: A GRAY AREA.

• EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?

• FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU

• "some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context."

• I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU. THE MF. NORTH STAR.

• a catholic moment

• santa maria is watching

• "philip is the heir and i'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty-five and i've got malaria, whither the spare?

• alex's meltdown outside kensington. very important. - "how 'bout i just keep yelling and we see which of the papers show up first!" he turns back to the window and starts flailing his arms too. "henry! your royal fucking highness!"

• henry nuzzling his nose behind alex's ear.

• "next time we shall visit some of the george III pieces and see if they burst into flame."

• DANCING TO YOUR SONG IN THE MUSEUM

• "once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier"

• "i will physically fight your grandmother myself if i have to, okay? and, like, she's old. i know i can take her." "i wouldn't be so cocky," henry says with a small laugh. "she's full of dark surprises."

• "your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing"

• "check the fucking news, you horny little miscreant"

• you're my mean friend

• I 😭 LOVE 😭 HIM 😭 ON 😭 PURPOSE 😭 once again they can't leave that out if they do i'll k!ll someone

• "what are we even defending here, philip? what kind of legacy? what kind of family, that says, we'll take the murder, we'll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, we'll scrub it up nice and neat in a museum, but oh no, you're a bloody poof? that's beyond our sense of decorum! i've bloody well had it. i've sat about long enough letting you and gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and i'm finished. i don't care. you can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, philip. i'm done."

• "for what it's worth," he says to philip, "that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met."

• "I've been gay as a maypole since the day i came out of mum, philip."

• bea pouring the tea on philip's lap

• henry pulls alex close and kisses him, whispers, "i love you i love you i love you."

• never 😭 tell 😭 me 😭 the 😭 odds 😭

• "my life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person"

• "listen, you've had your first big sex scandal. no more sitting at the kids' table."

• how to love each other in plain sight

• "holding henry's hand atop his own knee" in the portrait

• "all this fundraising for sobriety is going to drive me to drink."

• "I'm the prince of...here"

• "you spent a month of your gap year talking to yaks in mongolia, h."

• "i know it's a lot, but you give people hope. so, get back out there and be alex."

• the super six

• alex tripping on the magazine with them on the cover

• henry fixing june's hair

[minastras]

[TEASER] mr. vice president // yeonjun

Choi Yeonjun was an ace, and everyone knew it. He was a star athlete, top student, creative genius, school vice-president, and prom royalty. The only person who even came close to his level was you.

at a glance: gender neutral reader, rivals to lovers, fluff, angst, high school au

release date: saturday, 14.01.2023

a few excerpts below!

——————————

...But as co-leaders of the student body, your school’s star athletes, and joint cohort-toppers, you had a lot in common with each other. Maybe that’s why you disliked him so much: he reminded you of yourself.

——————————

...“You’re the only person who thinks that.”

He rolled his eyes at your pride. “Yeah, but that’s because I know you better than anyone.” You scoffed at that, but he continued, “Seriously, who else gets you like I do?”

“Who are you, Sigmund Freud? Stop psychoanalysing me,” you said.

“So you think I’m smart?”

“No, I think you want to fuck your mom.”

——————————

...You watched him closely, but you couldn’t read him at all. You were quickly realising that, despite being mirrors of each other and spending almost all of your time together, you barely knew him.

——————————

...He took the glass from you and set it down on the coffee table without using the coaster you’d so nicely placed right in front of him, making you see red. “Four ice cubes? Are you telling me to die?”

“As if you have a superstitious bone in your body, Choi Yeonjun. Is this how you act as a guest in other people’s houses too?” you asked, sitting down beside him.

He loosened his tie and popped the first two buttons of his dress shirt open. “No, just yours.”

“Sure, please make yourself at home,” you said sarcastically. “What do you want?”

“I came to apologise.”

——————————

comment/indicate in rb tags/send an ask if you would like to be tagged on release!

-minastras <3

[a-pigeons-soliloquy]

OBSESSED with the idea of hrab appearing anywhere there’s liquid. hrab liking being in will’s mouth is sending me, it’s so cursed,, what have you done

here are some more funny/horrifying thoughts:

- hrab materialising in will’s sweat at night to psychoanalyse his latest nightmare (let’s ignore the implications this has for saliva)

- if hrab needs water to appear, he also needs water to disappear. ergo when will is particularly done with hrab he can just flush him down the toilet. (hrab is not pleased. hrab pinches will next time he’s summoned. this is the mizumono of the crab au)

- for a second I was like oh maybe hrab is always trying to get into will’s mouth because that’s the kiss that makes him human again! but then I considered the implications of something small becoming very large while in a small space and quickly thought twice

- also love the concept of disney princess will, can’t stop imagining will being constantly slapped in the face by flying fish, which hrab immediately kills because hitting people in the face with one’s mysteriously airborne body is Rude (translation: he is a jealous crab. a crabby crab if you will)

- HRAB MAKING WILL SUSHI WITH HIS LITTLE CLAWS

- H R A B D A N C E

hrab

[ghostdrinkssoup]

hi everyone here’s the next hannibal notes/reactions (s1 ep8 aka the notorious romcom episode and also the finale of the crush arc) except it’s just the silly goofy ones:

FROMAGE <333 this one is lowkey one of my favourites

“did you think it was a date?” “honestly it never crossed my mind” - will cringe fail era ngl 😭

“JUST KIDDING” PLEASE that’s like hannibal with his cannibal jokes 💀

“shake it off, keep on looking” will,, no,,,

I hate to say it but this is the most homoerotic murder we’ve seen so far like okayyy

“I want to be supportive of you” HANNIBAL STFU

“had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you” okayyyy

^^ THE WAY ZELLER LOOKS AT WILL AFTER HE SAYS THAT LMAOOO he’s like 😟

“he’s a poet and a psychopath 😳”

hannibal: omg he was serenading me… 🥹🔪

“I believe he wants to show someone how well he plays” maybe I giggled. maybe just a little

poor franklyn tbh 😭😭 get outta there king

“because he knows I’d tell you” the love letter has been passed in class now hannibal is meeting tobias behind the bleachers

“I didn’t want you to stop playing” now why was that kinda romantic

it’s both flirtatious and threatening, freaks </33

“what kind of animal was it?” will sitting there like oh it was me 🤭

“you have to stop thinking so much” says you will *throws plate at his head*

IT STARTED OUT WITH A KISS HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS

so true alana get outta there, do it for franklyn who never could </3

anyway next up is hannibal and tobias’ date. *announcer voice* will hannibal fare any better with his romantic pursuits? stay tuned after the break to find out

tobias is UNHINGED

“don’t kill franklyn 🥺” SHUT UP

hannibal: “ofc you want to kill me I’m hot and sexy 🙄”

“I could use a friend” friend is code for boy best friend 🤭💖

“I don’t want to be your friend” LITERALLY GET OWNED

NOT WILL INTERRUPTING THE DATE ?? TEA ?? this show is a romcom

“I kissed alana bloom” what is wrong with you

that is such a long drive like will 😭😭 please

“you have a guest? 🤨” literally GO AWAY

^^ WILL LOOKS SO UPSET

he’s like wtf… why would you be hanging out with anyone but me. what the hell. wine glasses too ?? you drink wine with other people ?? I’m about to break the table and eat the plates

“I don’t disagree” HANNIBAL LMAO he’s like this is the worst dynamic 🙄🙄 wbk

“I’m wondering then why you kissed her, and felt compelled to drive an hour in the snow just to tell me about it” HE SOUNDS SO ANGRY ?? like it’s subtle the way he always is but he’s internally rolling his eyes and clicking his tongue 😭

why is this literally like everybody talks “IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER AND THAT WAS WHEN I KISSED HER”

me and hannibal are both psychoanalysing the hell out of will rn

“it’s our song” - now why was that romantic

NOT HANNIBAL SENDING WILL TO TOBIAS AFTER TOBIAS SAID HE’D KILL THE MEN WHO CAME TO INVESTIGATE HIM ??? he’s feeling a little silly

^^ he’s literally self destructive and is the cause of all his problems I hate him 🫶

hannibal: *sends will to his likely death*

also hannibal literally next scene: *laments to bedelia about his will obsession and want for connection*

he’s so stupid 😩 I hate gay people

“is there someone new in your life?” “I met a man :D” why is he acting cute 😭

not hannibal confessing his crush on will to bedelia, he’s literally twirling his hair and kicking his legs AGAIN like a FOOL

“he can assume my point of view” bedelia is immediately like 🚩

NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS IN A BASEMENT

NOT TOBIAS SHOWING UP AT HANNIBAL’S OFFICE WHEN FRANKLYN IS THERE WHAT IS THIS A SOAP OPERA

I like how hannibal willingly sent will to tobias (and his likely death) and then is SURPRISED when tobias said he killed the police who came to investigate him LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD

^^ clown behaviour

the girls are fighting 😳

this bitch fight was so needed 💅

hannibal tearing up when he sees will what if I cried too huh? what then? but no at this point hannibal has totally fallen for him jeez 😭

“I was worried you were dead” SHUT UP

also we were so robbed of will wiping the blood from hannibal’s face in that scene why would they take that from us </3

“I can’t help feeling responsible for what happened to franklyn” SHUT UP I HATE HIM

[moo-nstone]

questions i have for the signs

libra suns – do you learn a lot from observing other people’s behaviours? because libras do so well in group settings, and they value their emotional intelligence and ability for being likeable a lot. once, a libra sun man came up to me and just told me that he learned a lot of his behaviours from observing others and that’s how he learned better coping mechanisms/better ways of expressing himself and his emotions. at first, i found that absolutely preposterous because as someone who’s always focused so much on my own individuality and authenticity, the thought of taking aspects from other people just repulsed me, but the more i think about it, the more it makes sense – after all, there’s so much to learn from others and since observational skills are so important, why not use them to better ourselves?

also, to my libra suns once again – how the hell have you managed to build a reputation for being stable and peaceful? i swear every libra i’ve ever met was absolutely unstable – the type to throw their phones on the wall during arguments, to randomly go up to me and start psychoanalysing me, to immediately go confrontational mode no matter if they were in the middle of class, simply because they couldn’t leave shit unresolved. i’ve noticed your tendency for playing devil’s advocate in every situation in the name of “fairness” has you being VERY confrontational. it’s kinda refreshing not gonna lie.

now, ladies.. have we noticed how misogynistic cancer sun men can be or am i losing my mind? i swear to god i’ve never met ONE in my life who didn’t have extremely sexist opinions. even the ones who seem like great people and who get along with everybody – they still think that girls who sleep around casually have no self-respect and that sex workers are disgusting. also, hating on girls for doing the buss it challenge and for posting pictures where they’re showing skin and feeling themselves? saying they’re sluts? as if they’re not the same men who click on those videos? not only the misogynist part, but also extreme anger issues that come out at the most unexpected times. i believe it’s their traditionalist views and their hatred for their own femininity that has them projecting their insecurities onto other women. either way, cancer men terrify me. perhaps it’s that my father’s a cancer and he’s the blueprint of all terrible men in my life, or perhaps cancer men really are batshit crazy. either way, please change my mind lol there are probably some good ones out there but my experience has me believing otherwise

pisces mars – (18+) do you get pleasure from simply pleasuring your partner? i do this and i feel like it’s to a point where it’s toxic, every time i’m the one receiving i’ll be thinking about how i could be using this time to pleasure them instead, even if it feels really good. i don’t know what it is but the act of knowing i’m making someone feel good feels 1000 times better than everything else, it feels my soul and i think it’s a pisces mars thing. it’s crazy because it’s only in sexual matters, in day-to-day basis i’m very assertive but in bed i’m extremely submissive and just want to fulfil all of my partner’s needs. do you also have very intricate sexual fantasies that you’re constantly thinking about? also, are you masoquistic? i’ve seen other pisces mars talking about this, about how they get off on pain a lot and it makes me feel less alone. it might also relate to lilith in the 12th house because it indicates mixing pain with pleasure + escapism through fantasies + some very extreme fetishes like r*pe-play. let’s start this discussion lol

leo placements – how does it feel like being the baddest bitches alive? serious answers only. also stop making me fall in love with you it’s annoying

capricorn/scorpio suns, do you gravitate a lot towards one another? im a capricorn and i attract a lot of scorpio placements, and scorpios are the people who bring me the most intense personal transformations. it’s also definitely because i have scorpio in the 8th, but either way, i feel like these two signs attract each other like crazy because they’re the darkest signs. scorpio simbolizes death while capricorn simbolizes the devil, they’re both so difficult, complex and drawn to dark topics that i feel like it’s a match made in heaven – or hell. i’ve also observed that the most powerful power-couples in media are always relationships between capricorns and scorpios, too.

moon in the 10th house natives – do people baby you a lot? i feel like i’ll just be walking down the streets and my friends will be screaming at me to be careful like i’m a 5 year old, or offering to do things for me, or feeling an inherent need to supervise me as if i’ll get in deep shit if i’m left alone for more than 5 minutes LOL but i do think it’s something about this placement. moon in the 10th indicates being very emotional and getting easily overwhelmed, also a lot of charisma and being very sensitive when it comes to personal relationships. also the way we radiate authority makes others unconsciously be more obedient towards our needs, and we have a very strong need to protect others and create a family within our friend groups, which might be creating these dynamics.

leo suns/moons/risings – do you feel like having a low self-esteem quite literally contributes to the deterioration of your physical health? i think there’s such a stark difference between when you’re feeling insecure and in an unhealthy relationship vs when you leave the toxicity behind and work on your self-confidence, there’s an immediate glow up, like you’re literally glowing and it shows.

gemini suns – why do so many people hate you? even people who know nothing about astrology will say they hate geminis. genuine question because geminis are one of my favorite signs. i think it’s something about the way you easily adapt to other people’s personalities and mirror their energy, so you’ve built this reputation for being two-faced when you’re literally just.. socially intelligent.

air moons – how tf can you turn your emotions off? what do you mean using logic instead of feelings i will literally unalive myself

capricorn moons – how does it feel like having healthy coping mechanisms? oh wait, it’s not like you’d know LMFAOOOO

scorpio mars – are you as sexual as people portray you to be or do you feel a bit weird about the way people talk about you? because people always talk about scorpio mars as this sex machines, but like.. scorpio’s a water sign. very sensitive. i’ve noticed you guys literally avoid having sex with people because it’s like giving them a part of your soul, and you know you’ll get extremely attached to them afterwards. is sex a casual thing for you or can you only feel satisfied when there’s an emotional connection established? this goes for all water sign mars by the way.

scorpio risings – do you only listen to music that you feel has a deep meaning? my brother is a scorpio rising and he prides himself a lot on his music taste and how deep the music he listens to is. and as an aries rising im just like.. sir i listen to doja cat because hearing her sing about sex and fat tiddies makes me happy