#like part of a repressed character is that when emotions do come out they’re often immature

[moonsickcafe]

I’m not gonna lie, I just don’t see what people are hating about Artrem’s characterization in the second anniversary. I thought it was pretty true to form.

My only real beef is that it felt shorter and off theme compared to the other 3 cards which is a huge shame and feels gross considering it’s such a momentous canon card.

BUT

Artem in the 2nd anniversary doesn’t feel super out of character.

He’s putting off engagement because he feels paralyzed by the act of telling Rosa what he feels/wants because he doesn’t know how to convey his feelings or propose in a way that matches his own expectations.

He’s being distant and aloof as a result, and Rosa is doing what she does best and hyper analyzing his behavior with wrong conclusions (that reflect more on outward situations than internal, since Artem still isn’t great at being open up about that stuff unlike Vyn who knows how to communicate well but withholds as a concerted choice, for example).

All of his background cards see him bobbing and weaving not just how Neil and his parents have affected him in front of Rosa, but also when Rosa or anyone else hurts his feelings/comes to a wrong conclusion about him/his intentions, with fleeting exceptions.

Master of deflecting further questions or the topic at hand with (mostly work) segues.

He’s still being cheered on and brought to reality by his work big sis Celestine, who is so invested in Artem and Rosa that she views it as a cherry on top to see them engaged after her wedding. Which is so lovely. And very in character for her—she loves to see the fruits of her labor happen front and center and now she can hold this memory close not just in regards to her wedding but in regards to Artem and Rosa, who she cherishes. Especially Artem! (Also the fact that Mr. Rodriguez is so on board….busy body power couple)

This in particular is where I feel people are just beefing to beef. Celestine has ALWAYS meddled. And this feels very in character for her to guide Artem where he needs to go in a way she likes. She does it in almost every card she’s in!

And he is still struggling with his abandonment issues from Neil being gone and his parents not being around as much. He feels SO hard for Rosa and in a moment of high emotion and still a bit tipsy off alcohol he makes possessive comments which is also not out of character.

To me, it’s Artem feeling comfortable and going to the next step physically (and emotionally) by REALLY admitting that he’s insecure and his fears are manifesting as possessiveness ie YEARNING for Rosa and for more with her. He feels secure with Rosa. And he fears losing her just like he’s lost others. And he wants it to feel real. He doesn’t want to lose her to a case (Neil) or a career (his mother and father) or anything else!

He wants to feel like it isn’t a dream. He wants it to be solid, fully grounded in reality, in a way a lot of his personal relationships never get to be. No one could know about NXX and the full extent of his relationship with Neil (or the other members). He actively hid who his mother is and by extension who he is to her. Despite his relationships with Celestine and Rosa, he feels leagues away from his co-workers at large.

He wants people to KNOW that he has a truly personal relationship. He doesn’t want to for others or himself to see a large distance between himself and Rosa—like they’re strangers attached by business (like others in his life have been). Rosa is his partner, in all senses of the word.

Not just that, but it’s been a full year since Artem and Rosa started dating. In what world is it out of character for them to be familiar with intimacy. I kept seeing a lot of people saying Artem was too sexual and all he did was hold her and kiss her which he’s done……a lot, probably. They’ve been dating a year by now! The ending implies what we see is something they’ve done before but Artem would like to go farther. And Rosa is all for that but has never heard him say that before now! Because the repressed guy has been giving her repression.

Is the expectation truly that Artem’s first time making out and feeling up Rosa is this card? For real?

I have no idea what future cards will bring and I’m not interested in knowing until I can pull them in Global, but personally it feels like frustration toward future events is bleeding onto this card. Because what was presented does not feel disconnected from Artem’s side story, cards, or characterization as a whole.

There was just less time allowed to expand on what was presented which I agree is not ideal or even acceptable, especially for the 2nd anniversary. It should have been on par with the 1st in that regard, full stop.

But acting like this card pulled away from his established characterization in other cards in a huge way feels disingenuous. It did not! It was just rushed which I HATE SO MUCH. Like Rosa and Artem felt like they had the least time actually interacting within these 2nd anni cards!

And among these 2nd anni cards a big theme was family. Artem’s parents are certainly not dead so their exclusion from this proposal warranted at least some form of explanation. ESPECIALLY since his mother is someone Rosa knows and thinks fondly of and it certainly would have been interesting to see Celestine and Artem’s mother interact together.

His card lacked time to explore what he was feeling and cohesion to the 2nd anni theme, for sure. Which is really sad considering he is one of my favorite NXX guys. Like there are criticisms for sure but mine are more toward the structure of the card

[chevelleneech]

Crazy thought: Eddie tells Buck it makes sense Tommy dumped him…

This came to me, because it’s said Eddie will have an unexpected reaction to the news, and I want it to be something new.

As in, Eddie isn’t exactly kind in his reaction, not because he is aiming to be hurtful, but because he’s just kicked off a self-discovery arc of his own. He’s being confronted with all the ways in which his own self-sacrificing has harmed him, so he’s “ultra enlightened” and leans a little too far into honesty.

I don’t even know if I’d call it too far, but he sort of over course corrects, and tells Buck they are similar in the way that they both put other people’s happiness above their own. Except he himself does it to punish himself, while Buck does it unknowingly.

I feel like that would be such good tension, without making their conflict revolve around Eddie figuring out his sexuality, as him being queer seems to be the path they’re taking. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I don’t want Eddie to have any inclination he’s queer. I want him to be so unaware that he’s queer, and so focused on finding joy in all the small things in his life, that he doesn’t even realize he’s coming out of the closet. I feel like that would be the most gradual and easy way for general audiences to catch on, while also making sense for Eddie as a character.

Eddie is so repressed and self-punishing that he doesn’t know what he’s sexually repressed. He just knows he’s locked something away for twenty years, and is finally doing the work to allow it back into the light. And part of that could be him becoming almost overly aware of what repression and emotional self-harm looks like. So he tells Buck, “You stayed with Tommy because he liked you, not because you liked him.”

That would force Buck to look inward and question how true that is, and if he’s done it before. So then their conflict would be the fact that Eddie is joyful and excited to see where his release of repression takes him, while Buck sort of spirals as he realizes he’s never took time to confront his own repressed trauma. It would also make it clear their repression stemmed from two different things, and is leading them down two different roads.

Eddie will be discovering the fact that it is okay to enjoy his life and let people in, and find comfort and happiness in himself no matter what that version of himself looks like, with all his mistakes and misunderstandings. While Buck would be discovering the fact that abandonment is inevitable. People don’t always stick around and often times leave without a reason, but that’s okay. It’s not his fault, and he doesn’t need to whittle his own happiness away in order to keep them near.

And that would ultimately bring them closer together, because Eddie will look at Buck as the one person outside of his son who brings him light and joy, and never causes him to feel undeserving. Whereas Buck starts to understand Eddie as one of the only people in his life who has not walked away, and in fact was pissed off when he couldn’t be near him.

And I think this would work on the general audience not feeling blindsided by queer Eddie, because it’s already been explain “how” a gay man (because I’ve been neutral here, but Eddie is very gay) could date, marry, have sex with, and father a child with women while still being gay. As well, it would put the focus on him being religious, and then thrust into a role of adulthood due to getting Shannon pregnant, thus he’s never actually explored his sexuality.

So Eddie not knowing he’s gay the same way the audience doesn’t know, would allow them to take the journey with him in the way we didn’t with Buck. Buck kissed a man was like, “Yeah, more of that.” Whereas Eddie’s journey would be like, “I’m repressed because I’m a former Catholic boy who became a dad at 18 and then got shot up in war.” So the audience would follow him as he tries out different forms of happiness, which would lead to him realizing Buck makes him happy, thus the realization that he likes Buck romantically. Which then sparks both Eddie and the audiences “Oh” moment as they realize his Catholic trauma caused teenage fatherhood which caused his military journey, because he’s been gay this whole time. Boom!

[tallaxia]

Writer James Wong and director David Nutter talking about X-files s01 e13 "Beyond the sea"

Cinefantastique #26 - 1995

“Dana, open yourself up to extreme possibilities only when they’re the truth.”

—Mulder

Beyond the Sea

Gillian Anderson and Scully come into their own in this first-rate script by Glen Morgan and James Wong. Scully’s personal and professional lives collide when, shortly after her father's death, she and Mulder interrogate a psychic death row convict named Boggs (Brad Dourif) who may hold the key to finding a serial killer and his latest victims. In a fascinating twist, Mulder for once is the skeptic, and Scully the unwilling believer, when Boggs claims he can locate the killer—his former partner—as well as give Scully some final words from her father. Director David Nutter drew scorching performances from Dourif. and a deeply moving one from Anderson, whose Scully tries mightily to repress both her grief and her belief, and his orchestration of the prison confrontations is masterful. The sholwhere the door closes behind Anderson, leaving Dourif centered perfectly in a narrow windowframe is quite unforgettable. The teaser is a study in how to communicate family tensions and emotions not spelled out in dialogue. Don Davis and Sheila Larkcn as William and Margaret Scully make an indelible impression.

“Beyond the Sea” originated from a number of sources, one of which, said James Wong, was “a book Glen had read which said that 75 percent of widows within three months have a vision of their husband, and 35 percent of mothers see their sons.” And comments from fans that Scully needed humanizing played their part. “Gillian needed a show to show off her talents,” Wong said. Added Morgan, "It was time to grow Scully’s character, because she was doing the same kind of thing too often.”

The character of Boggs grew out of Morgan’s desire to “do a psychic thing. And you start thinking, well, this guy’s got to have something at stake. Capital punishment was one thing I always wanted to write about.” The network executives were not high on the idea of a Scully/Boggs faceoff, and Chris Carter had to back the idea twice before the they gave the go-ahead. “They said it was too much like SILENCE OF THE LAMBS,” said Morgan, “so in order to not do Hannibal Lecter, this kind of cool intellectual, we had this manic high-strung cracker. I was directly trying not to write Hannibal Lecter.”

Noted director David Nutter, "Brad Dourif came in, and my job there was to create a setting where he could be what he really wanted to be. I would just tweak this and that, but basically I let him have the stage. In a sense, it was a static episode and it was important to let his performance be the moving element. I was also very happy with the work that Gillian and I did together. I thought she really proved herself to be quite a talented actress.”

Religious symbolism is a guiding clement in “Beyond the Sea.” The teaser opens on a Christmas tree angel and the statue of an angel also provides an important clue to locating the serial killer. Mulder's lack of faith in Boggs results in his being shot near a wooden “white cross” which Boggs had warned him about, a contrast to Scully’s evading death when she avoids a painting of a blue devil about which she had received a similar warning. “Scully has that Catholic background,” said Morgan. "I’m not a very organized religious person, but we got a lot of letters from people saying, ‘I need to see my religion portrayed positively.’ So you try to have somebody who was raised with that faith.”

The tattoos on Boggs’ hands which read “kiss” and “kill” are reminiscent of Robert Mitchum’s “love” and “hate” tattoos in NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, but Morgan said that although Mitchum was in the back of his mind, the words themselves came from a song by the band X. “There’s a lyric which says, ‘It’s kiss or kill.’ I was trying to think of something other than love or hate and I thought that was kind of neat.”

[sn33z3s]

in defense of “if you weren’t a fucking asshole”

(what better time to write “meta” than hours before a season premiere. after all, style is dead. or was it that it’s just boring? no, wait, it’s toxic??)

this doesn’t have a thesis, it’s just some leftover thoughts from last year - mostly pertaining The Church Scene, because of course - and featuring some hot stan marsh characterization takes i guess

let’s start with the gay glancing at your ex-childhood best friend

so, this framing is loaded because it's the narrative of their whole thing: kyle chasing stan. stan usually comes to kyle's rescue in absurd (but solvable) situations, whereas kyle often has to fight stan to provide emotional respite. they're thinking of each other here; it's distinct how stan looks back, rather than this shot cutting at kyle. stan's explosive reaction is still pretty presumptuous, but kyle was, even if unintentionally, asking for stan's attention - which is typical

in a sense, this scene is their wordless language; the kind you share with said ex-best friend but it’s gotten worn from overuse, and as a result, you’re both communicatively stunted, so now that you’ve reached out again after 40 years, the first step to any comfort or solace is [the scene above] and a homoerotic spectacle:

well, i don’t need to tell you what that public spectacle is; you already know

stan leads his paranoid outburst in the church by accusing kyle of knowing something which would be impossible for kyle to know; in You’re Getting Old/Assburgers kyle also reaches out to stan, who turns him down, yet still asks that kyle basically read his mind and comfort him

kyle is not a stranger to demanding unrealistic things from stan as well, but kyle calling stan “asshole” packs that punch since contemporarily the fandom usually assumes stan as more emotionally forward or in-touch with himself. however, in the church, kyle is pointing out that stan is clearly repressing his feelings, desires, traumas, etc. and kyle has used a similar approach before:

in my last meta, i wrote about how stan is pretty firm in not instantly accepting kyle's olive branches. of course, the thing is, kyle's olive branches are bent sometimes, let alone how he approaches asking for stan's forgiveness before the broship splits. kyle doesn't apologize: he just expects stan to move on

(also, i love the "divorced couple" coding before we even reach Post-COVID.) anyway, the show clearly acknowledges stan as "agreeing with kyle no matter what," and the first time stan and kyle fight in canon, it’s a big deal

i always return to how i don't see kyle or stan as at fault in most of, if not all, of their fights. this especially applies to YGO & Assburgers since it's one of their most significant “break-up” arcs. still... kyle's "if you weren't a fucking asshole" in the church scene is so satisfying. (and 100% excellent voice acting on matt stone's part; the punchy delivery at the end of that line is what makes me revisit it often.) when i put my tin foil hat on, it does sound like decades of resentment built up. if this post had to have a thesis, it’d be, “here’s why kyle had every right to call stan an asshole in that moment,” but the Stan Can Be an Asshole, Too meta is for another day. after all, my last meta also revolved around the trouble i have with framing stan as an exclusively passive character (rather than predominantly passive) 

by “decades of resentment,” i mean simmering for kyle since, you guessed it, episodes such as You're Getting Old and Assburgers. i talk about YGO & Assburgers a lot, i'm sorry. but i was thinking about the church scene as i browsed the south park wiki on the official site: "Kyle can only deal with so much of Stan's negativity." (obviously, matt and trey themselves do not write or even moderate the Comedy Central studios wiki, so take all of it with a grain of salt.) i like that wording, though, and this other part of the blurb too: "Stan's ego can get in the way of their friendship [referencing Guitar Queer-o]" 

kyle not being able to handle stan’s negativity these days is more often harshly critiqued than anything about stan’s ego. that detail does, in many forms, relate to the stan jock characterization discourse, but that’ll also have to wait for another meta. i can say a couple of things about it to tie up this post, though 

yes, kyle fails to comfort stan in the YGO arc. at the same time, i don't think his positivity is always maligned. after all, the YGO arc isn't stan vs kyle, it's stan and kyle vs. growing up; this is their contemporary theme. and yes, for a kid, kyle can have that emotional maturity

Tegridy Farms and Post-COVID have cemented stan as south park’s protagonist – though, in my opinion, he always has been it, especially since Bigger, Longer, & Uncut – and protagonists are like, the character archetype that receives the most self-projection. yet this emotional angle is comparatively still a fairly new framing of stan’s character. now that this show is narrated in such a way that we see even more of the world of south park through stan’s eyes, fans watching may feel extra inclined to think of him as only ever depressed. but being sad is not all stan does and never has been

not only is this frequency fairly new to his character, i would go so far as to say that there’s a difference between the contemporary stan angst arcs and older episodes like Raisins, YGO, and Assburgers. being sad is not “natural” to stan (whatever that means), it is thrust upon him. most recently, this is randy’s fault. yes, we are meant to - and i hope that most do - sympathize or empathize with stan, but my point here is that he’s a little bit more belligerent and bullish than the fandom currently gives him credit for

[parachutingkitten]

Not an ask per se, just a similar feeling. You’re someone whose Ninjago stuff, here and on YT, I’ve really enjoyed for at least a few years. And I’ve been similarly obsessed with the show for some time. But… it’s as you say — DR is objectively fine, objectively nice, but I don’t feel the same obsession about it and its characters, plot, etc that I used to feel all the time with Ninjago. And I *cannot* figure out why, and it’s also been driving me slightly up the wall. It’s maybe because I genuinely try to give media the best chance when I interact with it, but despite multiple DR rewatches I don’t see what everyone else sees. And the disconnect is a sad, like you mention — I joined the community here because I was so glad to have people who loved this show in the same ways I did, and now it’s like they’re all on a different wavelength and I want to be there but I’m not. It’s definitely strange for sure, made worse I think by the fact that DR isn’t like horrifically bad or anything, I just feel… okay, when watching it, and can’t even explain why.

I don’t know how much sense this makes, but I thought it might be something for you to think about if you’d like. I’ve been tossing around the idea that I don’t love DR because it is… good. It’s good, but too neat — if that makes sense? The new characters — I love them all, but their personalities and backstories and situations they’re put in all remind me of several other stories. The subplots of the episodes always have an end goal in mind, often an emotional realisation, and whilst that’s a neat way to tell stories, it doesn’t feel like, to me, the way Ninjago used to tell stories. Like, the first thing that comes to mind is Sora feeling hopeless and that episode with the djin where she realises that it’s important to hope. And maybe this isn’t a great comparison (as I’m typing it out, I realise that it isn’t the best example oof), but I immediately thought of Zane after Seabound, when he’d turned off his emotions. Sora’s bad feelings, whilst not as ‘significant’ as Zane’s in that context, began just before and were wrapped up neatly in that episode and not brought up again. Zane acts detached from the start of S16 if I remember, and it’s only near the end of the season (I think! I know that it’s a few eps at least) when he meets Sally, talks to her, learns a little about her life, and is able to come to the realisation that he shouldn’t be repressing everything. I think DR, because of the amount of characters it has, especially those that are new, and the amount of new worldbuilding, plot stuff, etc that they have to add in, it being a reboot/sequel type of thing, leaves less time for the nuance and time devoted to the character arcs in the original show. Or maybe I’m just crazy, honestly idk.

Something else that stands out to me is the fact that DR has to establish so much about these new characters and their world that they… they do something that old Ninjago didn’t do, and whilst it’s maybe objectivity a better storytelling choice, I think it’s part of the reason I’m not really feeling it. What they do is that they have the characters act kind of realistic. Arin worries about his parents, often. Sora did too. Wyldfyre and Kai definitely have a few moments where it’s implied that they’re confused about what’s up with their powers. In Ninjago up to s16, because they wrote a lot of it without intending much or anything to come after it, I feel like they thought less about this than the DR writers, who know that they’ve got a few seasons lined up, do. For example — hands of time is when we find out about Ray and Maya, but it was never often addressed by Nya and Kai. It’s brought up in s4, of course, but if they were real kids whose parents had vanished one day they’d probably bring it up more often, like Arin did. But it’s often not done in the narrative because the writers gave them other things to focus on, because they’re storytelling devices and not real kids. There was no real buildup to Nya being the water ninja, for example, but Sora’s said to be good with tech a few moments after we meet her. This ain’t a critique of either show — just a different choice I sort of picked up on, if it even makes any sense. And as crazy as it may sound, I liked that about the old Ninjago — it saw the characters more as storytelling devices, I think, than relatable to the audience (Kai was the hothead, Jay the humour, etc — ofc they were more than that, but they retained that sort of vibe from S1 a little all throughout the show I think). DR, on the other hand, seems to want their characters to be more relatable, more multifaceted, make more sense — which, when coupled with the fact that they’re new characters and that the ninjago fandom has historically thrived on gaps in the show to enjoy it (we’re a very AU, OC, heavy fandom, etc), I think DR attempting to flesh out their characters in the way that we’re often used to doing with the old characters in fic, art, etc means that I like DR a little less because there’s less to ‘work with’, and less that inspires thinking of the characters in different situations — bc whilst relating is nice, it is also enjoyable when the characters are written with some core characteristics in mind and you explore other parts of them or those characteristics in different contexts. I don’t think makes much sense, but I hope that it maybe gives you something to think about — as you can probably see, I’ve been going a little crazy over not liking it and not knowing why, so I know that the feeling isn’t great.

I'm picking up what you're putting down here. My next video has a bit about getting disillusioned with a fandom, and it sucks. It always does. It's heartbreaking when you feel like that special bond between you and your show was somehow broken. I empathies, and it's important to feel it out.

Now, I don't think ninjago was better at character arcs, i don't think having a character arc be longer is better, or even really a characteristic of classic ninjago, but I do think the DR character arcs feel very by the book. They're following the screenwriting 101 guide perfectly, but it ends up feeling a bit lacking because of it? If that makes sense? Now, ninjago was historically very bad at character arcs, but when they got it right, they always had a bit of a spin on things, and interesting visual payoff, whatever. I think the zane's emotions arc isn't particularly great (and the sally piece is sort of at the end of the first half of the season ;) I would argue sora's arc in season 1 about finding confidence is better, but that doesn't mean I find it much more enjoyable.

I will agree that that the characters in ninjago definitely feel more like characters, while the DR cast (old cast included) feel more like people. Neither are a bad thing, but I think it definitely has an effect on the tone. Characters allow for a more lighthearted goofy vibe, because the show is operating on a higher suspension of disbelief most of the time. DR on the other hand, does want a little more vulnerability from its audience on a regular basis.

Lastly, I do think you're onto something with DR being fully planned. The two seasons we have so far feel very indistinct. There is less of a defining singular "adventure" in each season. And again, that's not a good thing or a bad thing, but it ends up making things feel different. Ninjago is an episodic series of adventures. DR is a continual evolving set of circumstances. Those are just going to feel different.

[iammissingautumn]

(@seregashockingly I’m gonna drop my general Style stuff relating to ur ask and reply to my post here since i wanna explain more Kyle Feelings moments)

Okay so the thing is, Stan encourages this codependent ideas in their relationships. From early one when he says Kyle can’t die without him we see that he has this insane view of their relationship. They both kinda do. The thing is, as all things go Stan is the more emotional of the two. Meanwhile Kyle had to figure out how he’s felt about most things pretty young, and with a lot of simplicity. That’s what allows him to be so okay with defending those who need it, he has strong morals that he trusts.

The thing about Stan encouraging codependent ideas towards them is that he’s also the one who has a girlfriend. And Stan is so bad at processing emotions that he throws up every time he’s faced with these feelings. Stan also has outside pressures like that of his father’s to conform (mostly specifically to the idea of being a man and what that “means”). Which Randy does in a lot of diffferent ways, I.E. Stanley’s Cup.

Though one of the main things about Stan is that the adults are being insane wackos and he thinks they’re being stupid. And he’s right but we see these kind of things leaving an imprint on him. His superhero persona is someone who works with tools, more “traditional” ideas of manhood relate to being able to upkeep the house car etc. He has rip sleeves and tries to seem tough but it’s very hard when his dad is keying their own car. On top of this, his SOT character is a knight meant to protect the king. Knights often have to be sworn in, seen to be risking their life in the name of being a protector. Which, including how he presents, the idea of a protector is also a very “masculine” “tradition”.

Yet, we don’t see this come in through other ways. He’s not toxic masculinity-ing his life. He doesn’t dedicate his days to playing every sport ever, physically fighting, or trying to prove his strength. He doesn’t have that insecurity that is more apparent in someone like Cartman. But there’s tinges of small things, and I do think most of his compensation and possible shame or complexes comes back to his sexuality.

Meanwhile, Kyle is confident in his religion, his self expression, and his personality. Sometimes we see this swayed (I.e. Passion of the Jew and South Park is Gay!), but I think his relationship to Judaism really helped him be able to have the confidence to be okay with other parts of himself. Especially since he has the support of his mother being such a big force in his life to encourage him to be himself. And though Shelia has her own problems she definitely shows Kyle she loves him for himself and wants him to be that person. (The crux of both of them is that they don’t want to veer into being “bad” and need to stay good. In the movie we see her thinking foul mouth tv shows are the “bad” thing. She’s always been particularly accepting despite the sometimes black and white thinking.)

So from this I picture the standard Style idea is that, in some sort of way Stan is repressing his queerness. This probably doesn’t help with the fact he has had depression and has an addictive personality. He can bury his queerness under all of this. But we see within him there’s this want or maybe a need to go towards those who don’t conform. As we see when he adopts the Raven personality for the point in time where he’s goth.

But there’s this level where Stan’s been how he’s always been. Loving his best friend, and them not shying from it. He thinks this is how you should see your best friend, both him and Kyle think this. The thing is at some point Kyle figures out This Isn’t Everyone’s Relationship To Their Best Friend. Which is probably a middle or high school realization that turns into a very changing thing. And I think whether Kyle assumes that Stan doesn’t like him because of something like his reputation with relationships in the past Nichole, Heidi, Rebecca, or The List situation which is just. hurtful even after the truth comes out.

Insert Stan doing something dumb, a drunk confession, a kiss, he throws up, some sort of blatant obvious “Stan’s In Love” marker that changes Kyle’s mind. Stan’s in denial about it (perhaps leads Kyle on 👀) and it causes some pains that they later have to unpack. And maybe that means they kiss or smth none of my business. Maybe this involves Kyle helping Stan sober up, maybe it involves Stan cleaning up and calling Kyle trying to reconnect, maybe this involves Stan realizing he’s so fucking stupid and in love with his best friend and he should have realized sooner because now they’re separating because they’re graduating or something. Or maybe they’re in middle school and Kyle tells Stan to stop talking to him because he’s being mean about his feelings. Or maybe Kyle just silently isolates himself from Stan. There’s a lot of loose spots so the story can change depending on the point in their lives or the story being wished to be told. But that’s the general classic idea for me.

[girl4music]

KATHERINE: “Maya. Talk to me.”

MAYA: “I have an event to organize, Mom. We’re doing this spaghetti fundraiser dinner tonight, and-“

KATHERINE: “Then let me help. I used to organize the spaghetti dinners for your track team.”

MAYA: “No, you didn’t.”

KATHERINE: “Well, no. Your-your father didn’t let me. He didn’t like me socializing-“

MAYA:

*slams her notebook down on the desk*

“Did you come here just to bad-mouth Dad?”

KATHERINE: “No, honey. I came here to talk to you. And to apologize for the abuse because I didn’t-I didn’t protect you, and, and-and that is a mother’s job. I’m so sorry I-“

MAYA: “What? What are you talking about?”

KATHERINE: “Maya. Sweetie, I know you love your Dad-“

MAYA: “I do love my Dad. I also literally don’t know what you’re talking about.”

KATHERINE: “The silent treatments? The broken dishes? The fist-sized holes in our walls? The 90-mile-an-hour drives home from your track meets?”

MAYA: “He’s emotional.”

KATHERINE: “Yes, and he uses his emotions to control us. All of us. Maya… your father is abusive.

*Maya scoffs*

I was in crisis.”

MAYA: “Wow, Mom. Drama much?

*alarm sounds to call the firefighters out*

Fire. Now that is a crisis.”

*she gets up and leaves to go out the door*

KATHERINE: “Maya, wait.”

Wow… they’re doing an abuse storyline for Maya’s character. It took me awhile but I eventually picked this up about Maya before the mother had to come into the narrative because I’ve seen this before in my own life. Psychological and emotional abuse is a BITCH to unpack and heal but they wouldn’t be doing this narrative as part of Maya exploring her complex trauma if they don’t intend on unpacking and healing it. It’s a long road when the character it’s happening to is completely oblivious of it. And it looks like… she is.

As I said before about Maya - the reason why she is the way she is: repressed and so closed off to her own emotions that the rare times she does cry, she can’t stop and the many times she doesn’t let herself cry, she’s a ticking time-bomb waiting to go off. It’s all come from a past and background of abuse but she hasn’t recognized it herself as abuse so that’s why her own behaviour as a leader (a Captain) is not so great. As soon as I was shown in several flashbacks in her character’s backstory that it was because of her father’s psychological and emotional abuse of her why she was acting the abusive way she was with her team my perception of her immediately changed. I knew what her story was going to be because it’s a story I’ve experienced myself being a victim of abuse as well - only I was always very well aware that I was being abused because I had other family and friends that were able to surround me that constantly reminded me that the way my father was treating me and my mom was not okay and that we shouldn’t stand for it.

And well… my father’s dead now so… it’s not going to be too be much of a problem if I express myself on it. He was never physically abusive. He never hit either me or my mom, so we, at the time, didn’t think it was that serious enough to be reported the way he treated us both. And so we never did. We let it carry on. All the verbal insults, the attempted gaslighting, the bouts of anger that seemingly would just come from nowhere because he never took drugs or was an excessive drinker. There was no influence on him that made him like that. He was just… like that. And we suffered for it.

Despite all the years we lived with him me and my mom didn’t really know him all that well because he never told us anything about him. Even when we asked, he would just say it’s none of our business. He was very emotionally closed off and distant. He wouldn’t express his emotions - except anger and resentment. Those he expressed all too often and it was always terrifying because we never knew whether he was going to be violent. Physically violent. He was violent in other ways but it’s a hard thing for me to explain how because sometimes I feel like it would have hurt less if he did hit us. Psychological and emotional abuse is painful but it’s a type of pain that doesn’t ever heal the way it would with a cut or other type of wound. The way it naturally would. No, it’s a pain that moulds into you and sticks with you until it becomes part of you. Until you become that of which put that pain into you to begin with. It’s a pain that makes a monster. Not helps you fight one. And sometimes, that pain can be so deeply embedded into you that you don’t even recognize it for being that: Pain. And that you don’t even think of what gave you that pain as what it actually is. Psychological abuse.

That’s Maya. Her reality has been warped to the point where she still sees her abusive father as her parent. Her motivator. Maybe even her protector. Even at the age that she is now when she’s well aware of what abuse is and what it can look like, how it can affect the psyche…. All of it. She’s just not aware she’s been a victim of it herself. And her mother comes to visit her after leaving her father and tells her that that’s what she’s had to do. Maya rejects her reconnection because she doesn’t agree that her father deserves to be left. She wouldn’t because she doesn’t see what he did to her as abuse. Nor what he did to her mother.

It’s going to be interesting but also likely difficult for me to watch Maya’s arc going forward because I’m not where Maya is at. In fact I’ve never been where she’s at because my reality was never as warped as hers. My father’s attempts to gaslight me failed due to the love and support I had from the people around me and my own capability for discernment as I grew older but his psychological conditioning remains with me regardless because I was still moulded into a monster and it took me years to realize that I never unlocked the cage he tried to force and keep me and my mom in by externalizing my pain, I was only locking myself in it for him by falling into hurt people hurt people. It wasn’t a way of escape and it wasn’t fighting back. It was shutting those that loved and cared about me out while also incarcerating and isolating myself from them. My armour was piled on and my walls were up but I wasn’t protecting or defending myself. I became the enemy that dished out the abuse as he did to me.

Now you would think that because I was always aware that it was abuse what my father was doing to me at the time, that I would have never treated others that way. Nope. That’s actually what made me worse than him. Because I was fully aware I was abusing people.

The switch never clicked. It had to be the hard way. Someone had to force their way right through me. And the good thing is that I never actually met that person. It’s a whole story for another day but I can say that that is the reason why I manifested psychic ability. If you’ve ever read ‘Firestarter’ or ‘Carrie’, you’ll get this.

I don’t know if Maya will get to where I am at in her story and journey with healing from abuse with her reality being so thoroughly warped as it clearly is but I sincerely hope she does because this one will hurt and I need the resolution if I’m going to dig into the very familiar traumatic dirt of my past by watching her arc.

If you know me and you’ve ever wondered why I am so self-aware and assertive in my character - this is why. I’ve just never expressed it because my Dad was alive. Now he is dead, I have no fear or hang ups whatsoever expressing how much his abuse has influenced that. I think I’m just lucky I have never been where Maya is but - at the same time - I might have hurt less people because I wouldn’t have been constantly fighting a battle in myself that I could never had a victory with.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

@diakaoni

I appreciate that yandere!reader content isn't for everyone (which is partly why I did the poll in the first place, to check that there was interest) but Shin's personality simply doesn't mesh well with what I have in mind. While all yandere characters have some things in common (namely an obsession with their love interest), I always try to maintain the core parts of their personality otherwise it would feel like I was writing generic yandere-kun, which I'm sure some people would still enjoy but it's just not my style.

Apologies for this next bit as I got... kind of carried away doing a bit of character analysis on Shin and yandere themes (it’s late and I’m very tired and that’s my excuse). So yeah, please read it if you want, but if not, then I am sorry the result wasn’t quite what you’d hoped for but hopefully if/when I post the resulting drabble, it will still be something you can enjoy.

Shin isn't actually a character who lends himself to yandereifing particularly easily in my opinion, as while he does have his unhinged moments, if you actually go through them, they’re very rarely to do with the herione (be that the player self-inserting or Yui). And even in Ruki’s DF route where he loses his shit after the herione escapes and runs off with Ruki after promising to be his, that’s definitely not because he loves her, rather it unfortunately digs right into his complex about being made a fool of and that sets him off (also it had to happen because the plot requires Carla kill Shin in front of the Mukami brothers in order for them to face the reality of being required to chase down Ruki so that the endings can happen).

I think the closest we see to Shin losing his mind over the heroine is actually in his Para-Selene CD, but even then, he comes down from it relatively quickly all things considered. I guess the best way I can describe the reasoning for this is that Shin is actually less reactionary than you would think from a surface reading. This might sound odd because a whole part of the Shin-Carla dynamic is impulsive versus carefully thought out, and I’m by no means trying to say Shin is a good planner (he can be but often isn’t). However, Shin does this thing where he will act angrier/more irritated than he actually is because he’s learned it’s a good way to intimidate people or to get them to do what he wants. And you can see this because he acts differently in these moments versus the ones where he’s actually snapped.

Shin has some specific landmines with regards to properly setting off his temper, the biggest being when he thinks someone is trying to make a fool out of him (again as we see in Ruki’s DF route, meta aside), although it’s worth mentioning someone insulting the founders is also likely to set him off and in a relationship, an act of betrayal would do the trick (which Para-Selene isn’t quite although it’s semi in the same vein but I’d argue what Shin’s feeling in CD isn’t simply anger). Outside of that, he’s often more in control of his own actions than he acts, and, in my opinion, is better with his own internal emotional intelligence (think Fi if you’re into MBTI functions) than a chunk of the other characters.

Personally when it comes to writing yandere characters, I always tend to think of characters who, while potentially better at reading a room and manipulating people, have a harder time dealing with their own emotions (I would say someone like Laito falls into this category) as being more likely to go off the deep end due to emotions they either don’t want or don’t know how to deal with causing them to snap. This could well just be a personal preference thing, but it’s why I actually headcanon Carla as being more likely to go yandere than Shin due to his emotional repression issues. The issue here is I just find him less fun to write because my version of yandere!Carla is never going to be very expressive as when Carla snaps he usually reverts to the cold individual we meet at the start of DF.

In my mind there are two situations where it makes sense to write Shin going yandere, the first being something to do with suspecting something’s up with his S/O and Carla (which I sort of explored in a yandere!Shin fic I wrote that tumblr isn’t letting me link for some reason, although I think if his S/O actually initiated something with Carla of their own accord, Shin would probably just attempt to murder the pair of them in a fit of rage). The second is a scenario I talked about in this post (https://at.tumblr.com/carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich/as-fond-as-i-am-of-possessive-yandere-shin-and-his/ffjlg3fjqerr), my reasoning behind this being that as we see with Carla, Shin definitely has the capacity to put people on a pedestal and the scenario I described in that post plays with the idea of him projecting the obsession he has with strength onto the object of his desires which definitely fits with the yandere theme for me.

Personally I’m a big fan of the second option (not just because that was me projecting onto the reader a bit) but because it plays into an obsession Shin already has and just twists it and makes it worse rather than better as we see in the “good” endings in the games.

Anyway I think that might be enough ranting about Shin for one night. I hope this at least makes some semblance of sense. Good night all!

[gallusrostromegalus]

OP PLEASE EXPLAIN MOKUBA HAVING A GUN

Okay, so- YGO was my first fandom way back in... Middle school? and we could get into the psychology of traumatized baby me and the tropes of the series and the narrative anomalies of a fairly dark manga/anime getting the 4KIDS! treatment but:

Mokuba should have had a Gun.

Kid gets Kidnapped A LOT and until very recently, he and his brother were violent sociopaths and I feel like maaaaaaaaaaaybe Mokuba should have kept a bit of that. Not a Lot. He's doing much better now, but shit keeps happening to him and a touch of the night comes in real handy now and then, especially when your brother is comprised of equal parts hubris, hyperfixation and (repressed) homosexuality and *somebody* has to deal with this nonsense.

So I think Mokuba should have had a gun. Or Tire Iron Or Distressingly Large Knife. Something.

It wouldn't alter the plot much- in Deulist kingdom he's still like what, 11? and he doesn't know how to use that shit but I feel like he should have been allowed to go down fighting. By the time Battle City rolls around, he's had some more practice and someone beat it into him that "talk softly and carry a big stick" also means "Don't let your beloved but extremely neurotic brother know about The Gun". So it's just. There. For Emergencies.

Granted, the kid who's been to basically hell probably has a warped ideaof what qualifies as an "emergency" but hey. It adds something to his character, like coffee in chocolate cake or bolognese.

Here, have an Excerpt from the fic I started writing at 3 AM. The context is that they're at the island in Battle City part 2, and Prior to this, Mokuba had sucessfully downloaded Noah into a PS3, that he's currently carrying around like a Purse Chihuahua while he watches Destiny Happen or Whatever:

---

"Mokuba." Said Noah. It was technically a question but their father had always viewed Interrogative Intonation as Weakness.

"Yeah?" Mokuba replied, a native speaker of Abused Bastardeese.

"Is the clock on this device correct? It says it's 12:45 in the afternoon."

"Sure is."

There was a pause as there was some more dramatic monologing about the unfathomable power of the cards on the dueling platform.

"It is. Remarkably dark out for Luncheon." Noah tried.

"Oh! Yeah, while you were compling we all got moved into Hell." Mokuba nodded.

There was another pause as the first speech was rejoined by a second about the Power of Friendship.

"...Hell, you say?" Noah asked, feeling himself go a bit peaky about the exhaust fans.

"Yeah, Don't worry about it. Either this dingus-" he pointed to the more offensive hairstyle. "-will lose the game and physics will go back to normal, or I'll beat him with that piece of concrete and rebar and Physics will go back to normal. It's really just stage dressing."

Some of the Holographic effects were very loud, causing another pause in the conversation.

"Does this happen... often?" Noah tried, beginning to wonder if he'd made the right choice in leaving his digital hell.

"Not usually until the finals of a tournament but sometimes in the pregame. I got stuck here for a whole weekend once." Said Mokuba with the casual informative air of an old man speculating on whether this year's fishing was going to be any good.

"Your remarkable state of calm during the Digital Debacle earlier is beginning to make a lot more sense." Noah muttered, indicator light blinking sheepishly.

"Yeah, Like, finding out you existed and had been trapped in a videogame was probably the worst emotional gutpunch of the weekend, but that was maybe the fourth or fifth weirdest thing to happen today."

"Are we including everyone's hair in that tally?"

"Oh yeah, natch." Nodded Mokuba, shifting his weight and looking around for somewhere safe to set Noah down. "Sometimes I wish Seto would go back to his old Lime Green hair so he'd fit in with his peers more. Pull up some concrete." he set Noah down on a flat bit next to a pair of chunks that made a remarkably good child-size recliner.

"What, he took over my corporate empire AND stole my hair color?" Noah asked, trying to sound mock-offended but his real offense crept through.

"When I say Seto had an Identity Crisis I mean he had a fucking Crisis." Mokuba nodded. They watched another dazzling display of special effects. "I should have brought some snacks."

[idontblushsrry]

Sesshomaru||NSFW Alphabet

A/N: That’s right, I wrote an NSFW alphabet for him as well. How could I not, he’s a hottie. Also somehow, I managed to keep this w a gender neutral reader, so all my Sesshomaru fans may enjoy (unless u ship s*ssrin, then leave)

Word Count: 1911

Warnings: Obviously nsfw

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

After sex, Sesshomaru returns to his initial composure almost immediately. Like he’ll pant for a few seconds, wipe his dick off and then immediately, boom, like nothing ever happened. Of course, you, are thoroughly wrecked, needing Sesshomaru’s help, help which he is more than happy to give.

B - Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself has to be his arm/arms (depending). He loves his arms for a reason completely separate from you, he just enjoys the fact that he finally has two arms, like he thinks back to all the times he didn’t properly appreciate his left arm, and vows to never make that same mistake.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

As much as he loves cumming on your body, nothing compares to the feeling of cumming inside you. He loves to watch you slowly lose all coherency as he just fucks you full of his cum. If you let this man cum inside you, you will unleash a whole new beast, that you’re gonna have to be prepared to deal with. 

D - Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sometimes, when Sesshomaru knows he’s going to be away from you for a long time, he tries to fuck you as much as possible. He knows that he’ll miss you and gets a little more lovey dovey, but above all, he’s trying to remember the feeling of you so he can better mimic it with his had.

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Sesshomaru is extremely experienced, on account of both his rank and his power. Demons are attracted to power and rank and, being so noble, Sesshomaru has never had any trouble with finding a partner to warm his bed. He’s not versed in everything but he has a strong sense of intuition and a deep connection with his own desires.

F - Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

A bit cliché, but, his favorites are doggy style and mating press. Any position where he has the leverage to press you down and fuck into you also ranks pretty high on his list.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Sesshomaru is so serious in the moment. He gets so laser focused on pleasing you that he finds any distractions to be a bit...grating. That being said, you’re the exception, if he happens to make you laugh during sex, he’ll just roll his eyes affectionately before shutting you up with a kiss.

H - Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s about as well groomed as any man of his station at the time would be. He’s not exactly shaving down there but his hair is so fine that it isn’t unbearable. Also the carpet definitely matches the drapes, his hair is extremely light and it’s hard to see sometimes.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Sesshomaru is very intimate in subtle ways. He shows you hat he cares by doing little things to ensure your comfort. Whether it’s brushing sweat off your head, setting pillows under your hips, or retracting his nails when he holds you, Sesshomaru is the king of unspoken intimacy. He loves you and he’s going to show it in the most obvious way.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

As stated earlier, Sesshomaru really only jacks off out of necessity. He had no problem with getting someone to fuck, ad now that he has you, he doesn’t see the need to masturbate. The only time he’ll do so is if you’re gonna be away from him for a while and he’s really horny.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Sesshomaru has a breeding kink, sorry not sorry. Even if you can’t get pregnant, something in him just tells him to keep filling you with his cum until it spills out. At which point, he just repeats the process. He also has a thing for marking, whether it be by scent, hickies, or with his cum, he loves the reminder/proclamation that you’re his.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Sesshomaru’s not picky about location. He’s of the opinion that, as long as you’re comfy, he’s ok with it. He does enjoy having his fill of you in your shared bedroom, but yall aren’t really home often enough for him to be that particular about it.

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The only thing that turns Sesshomaru on is the sight/thought of you naked and waiting for him. 

N - NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sesshomaru does not care all that much for sharing, and in a similar vein, voyeurism. With voyeurism, he doesn’t mind fucking out in the open, as long as no one else is around. The second he gets whiff of anyone, he’s pulling out of you faster than you can even realize what’s going on. With sharing, just don’t ask. He won’t show it but, the thought of someone else even seeing you that vulnerable enrages him and sets off his baser instincts. If you suggest it, he’s going to be very hurt for some time.

O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Sesshomaru probably didn’t even know about oral until you went down on him for the first time. While he isn’t exactly the most experienced in it, he more than makes up for it with his sheer voracity. If you ask him to give you head, he’s getting on his knees, laying you back like, “say less”.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Sesshomaru can be both but he tends to lean on the more fast and rough side. Sure, your hips and legs hurt, but who can really complain when there’s a powerful demon pounding into you like a jackhammer.

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

When you first told Sesshomaru what a quickie entailed, he was intrigued. Admittedly, he didn’t like the concept at first, but the more he thought about it the more it grew on him. He likes the thought of you being so needy for him that you’d rather jump him as soon as possible than wait to get home.

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

In terms of experimentation, Sesshomaru’s not all that open to it. He’ll try if you insist but he’s definitely not one to suggest any experimentation. As for risks in terms of location, as long as he’s far enough from others, he doesn’t really care where y’all fuck or how loud you are. 

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go as long as you can. He does like to build your endurance more and more each time, but sex in general with him is a serious time commitment.  He’s more than willing to space it throughout the day if that would suit you better.

T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No toys, Sesshomaru doesn’t see the point in them. It also goes back to his thing about sharing, while he won’t be as angry as he would be with another person there, the thought infuriates him. Just thinking about an object getting to feel you in the same way he does make him see red.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Sesshomaru prefers not to tease, but he will if he feels the need to. He prefers to get straight to the point, letting you cum as many times as he sees fit to, honestly, prep you to take him in. But if he’s feeling particularly slighted, (whether by you or some demon he can’t quite murder) he’ll take it all out on you. While he won’t tease you in public, in private, he’ll work you up, get you right on the edge of cumming, and then pull it away. The more you whimper and whine, the more tempted he is to draw out your torture.

V - Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Sesshomaru is pretty quiet... usually. While he prides himself on his control, of which extends even to the bedroom, letting out a few grunts once he’s about to cum, his rut is a different story. Sesshomaru refuses to talk about or even acknowledge how unihinged he acts during his rut but honestly, the moment he gets a whiff of your arousal, he sounds like a wild animal. Every repressed emotion and sound comes bubbling back up to the surface and he just goes around growling and panting until he can stick his dick in you.

W - Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Sesshomaru tries his best to be gentle/hold back with you. It’s not obvious and you haven’t noticed because most of it happens in the heat of the moment when you’re distracted by...other things. But, he knows he tends to lose himself inside of you so in preparation, he’ll remove his hands from your body and let his claws rip into the surface under/behind you, whether it be a tree, bed, or just the floor. One of these times, his poison accidently activated and he shielded your body by leaning down and making out with you. That day, he discovered his affinity for kissing you while pounding into you.

X - X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Mans got a third leg, I just know. The baggy pants hide it pretty well but when you manage to pull it out, he’s easily 8 inches (10-12 when fully hard depending on circumstances), uncut, and really pretty. Like other parts of him, Sesshomaru’s dick is beautiful, a small patch of silver hair near his base. Speaking of, Sesshomaru does have a knot, if he cums inside of you, he tries to do so without getting it stuck just because of the fact that it’s kind of a hassle waiting it out. But if you let him knot you and the situation allows it, he might go a little feral whoops.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Sesshomaru has a pretty high sex drive and before you, he could control it pretty well in all instances besides his rut. He still maintains his impeccable control but he finds himself ready to go a lot more often than he used to be. Like if you ask him, he’s immediately down regardless of what he’s doing. The only time that he gets supernaturally and uncontrollably horny is when he goes into rut. At which point...good luck getting his dick out of you.

Z - ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

While Sesshomaru doesn’t really get tired after sex in the same way you do, he does understand when you’re kind of tapped out for the night/day/moment and is more than content to watch you sleep. After a while though, the sounds of your heartbeat and the quiet sounds of your breathing will set him at ease and put him to sleep.

[uni-seahorse-572]

Internalization vs. Externalization & Keeper

this ended up longish, fair warning. I’m going to go ahead and tag everyone who expressed interest: @gay-otlc, @if-only-wishes-were-answered, @keepersofthelostbullhorn, @spellbound-fire, @simpbito

~

~

In KOTLC, Keefe and Fitz represent a fascinating dichotomy also present in society as a whole. 

As an oversimplification, most people tend to either externalize or internalize their mental health issues and emotions. Those who tend to internalize repress it all, refusing to seek help, holding it together outwardly while also deteriorating inwardly. Those who tend to externalize lash out and hurt those around them. I’d like to emphasize that I’m not here addressing which one is “better” - they’re both simply ways to cope with difficult emotions and affect people in different ways. 

It’s easy to assign Fitz the externalized method of coping. The fandom may theorize that he has unaddressed issues from the pressure of his upbringing, but in canon, his emotions are completely externalized in times of major strife. 

Keefe seems a little more difficult at first. After all, his actions are so often drastic and negatively impact those around him, right?

What I’d like to argue is that this doesn’t matter. Part of internalization is the fact that it primarily focuses the hurt on the person who’s doing the internalizing. They lack any way to let their emotions out, and thus when their facade cracks others may see a glimpse of what they’re going through. Furthermore, internalization can lead emotions to boil over as they’re being repressed instead of dealt with, at which point they do harm those around the person in question. Sounds like Keefe. 

Here’s where society comes in: we glorify internalization over externalization. This connects to the whole “go in even if you’re sick” mentality that, well, kind of really backfired. (please note: when I say society, I am here discussing American society. I can’t speak for other cultures, though if anyone has more knowledge on how a different culture regards externalization vs. internalization I’d love to hear your thoughts). 

Among the mentally ill, the false perception that one must somehow prove their mental state to deserve help causes major issues. What this means is that people will attempt to internalize their problems until they can’t anymore, with the idea that what they’re going through is only “real” if they can no longer keep it hidden and someone else notices. This repression of feelings is legitimately dangerous. 

On the other hand, people who externalize are often blamed for any outbursts they may have. This occurs especially frequently if all it takes is something small to push them over, as they’re seen as overreacting even though it’s more related to having problems no one else can see than anything else. Emotions that are externalized are often treated as if there’s nothing deeper behind them.

Heroes in general who don’t care about their well-being are hailed. Sacrifice is hailed. Characters who are angry are demonized, and while anger is a major and damaging problem to many, when was the last time you saw a character who struggles with anger who wasn’t morally grey at best? How often do you see depictions of those who get angry, occasionally to the point where it’s controlling them, as just... people who aren’t perfect?

In all honesty, Shannon Messenger herself handled this pretty well. Fitz is often made to apologize in ways Keefe isn’t, but the narrative as a whole is pretty understanding of both of them. We can also see how Fitz’s externalization does lead to disastrous fury but also means that’s both released and obvious, instead of festering into a huge mistake like it does with Keefe. Grady is a good example of this as well, as someone who gets protectively angry and may go too far once in a while but still means well and is a good father and husband. This complex representation of anger isn’t all that common. 

But it’s the way that the fandom reacts to the two of them that’s revealing. 

Fitz receives an incredible amount of hatred for his anger. By many, it’s viewed as toxic towards those he cares about. Among many, the general consensus seems to be that he’s so privileged he needs to stop getting so angry because everything isn’t perfect and be quiet (allegedly because “Keefe has it worse”, yet so many things have happened to the Vackers that if Fitz internalized his emotions I believe the hatred wouldn’t be near as much of an issue). Depending on the site you go on, there’s a good amount of blatant bashing in fics and comments, largely centered on somehow both his anger and apparent perfection at once - would they view internalization of feelings a legitimate flaw that makes him complex and less than perfect?

Keefe, on the other hand, is embraced by most of the fandom. People talk about his trauma quite a bit from what I’ve seen, his quiet inner pain that he only lets Sophie see, that he tells her she shouldn’t have to deal with. Unlike with Fitz’s occasional bouts of anger, his penchant for running away, putting himself in danger, and his lying to Sophie isn’t, on the whole, seen as toxic. His internalization has led to a lack of self esteem and perceived worth that creates a selfless sacrificial streak too often hailed. 

Now, you may say, however, that not everyone has these opinions. But the truth is this often exists in a way that inadvertently reinforces society’s treatment of externalization and internalization. 

Those who dislike Keefe tend to focus on the ways he’s hurt others with his decisions. While this makes sense, as he doesn’t have to do much for forgiveness in the narrative, it also attempts to frame his emotional reactions as externalization. Fitz, on the other hand, is often depicted as someone who struggles with internalization, particularly when it comes to pressure. Just look on AO3 for proof - in all honesty I’m guilty of it. This interpretation of his character isn’t necessarily wrong, as it can allow authors to write what they relate to and addresses the issues Fitz must have in a way the narrative ignores, yet still focuses on internalization. 

We as a society are deeply uncomfortable with externalization. We don’t know how to discuss it. And we continue to glorify internalization.

At this time, I can’t say I have a good conclusion as to how we might try to counter this, though approaching both Fitz and Keefe from a more complex viewpoint would be a good place to start. Consider looking for this in both society and other fiction as well, perhaps. It’ll be interesting to see where Keeper itself goes going forward. 

[wormliness]

what really, really gets me about cwilbur is how he tries to separate pieces of himself in an attempt to feel whole again. from the moment wilbur founded Imanberg, he tied himself to it. it became his identity: a representation of all he is; and if it isn't perfect, then neither is he. 

with his spiral in pogtopia, everything becomes blurred. I'manberg isn't his, but who is he if not what he offers to others? there's those absolutely heartbreaking moments in the button room with tommy and quackity where his true beliefs come through before he's blinded by his own conflict: and that conflict stems from confusion. wilbur can't separate himself from the nation he built. in his heart, he's a perfectionist, and everything that happens gets out of his hands and the perfectionism is what eats him alive. that confusion and inability to understand himself is part of what makes wilbur such a moving depiction of mental illness. everything seems fixed to him, and there's nothing he believes he can do to change it. his best traits: unyielding confidence, his level head, everything that make him come across as an indomitable leader are exactly what lead him to suffer, often by direct causation of his own actions.

in pogtopia, he has no one he can emotionally open up to, he has no peers: even when he eventually does, he's already resigned himself to his fate. one of the most apt ways i've seen wilbur's pogtopia arc actions described is "existentially suicidal" - he doesn't just want himself gone, he wants his presence erased. he wants everything connected to himself to go down with him. and it makes him so, so cruel, because he just can't accept that he has people which love all these parts of him. so, in the end, he dies without clarity, without true understanding of himself and blinded by his own misconceptions

and then, as the dream smp's worldbuilding expands more into the supernatural, we get this absolutely (in my opinion) mindblowing like, theoretical philosophy takes, and this is the meat of what i really like.

ghostbur first appears so simple. characters barely need a few words with him before they clock him as a half-baked facsimile that simply shares the same face as wilbur soot with none of his integrity, but it goes soo much deeper than this. with ranboo's recent (april 2022) lore, we learn that when characters lose their final canon lives, they're split into two parts: mind and soul, even before this was confirmed, it's sooo prevalent in the story that ghostbur is far more complex than he lets on. ghostbur is bitter and biased and he hates "alivebur." from the start, he asks to be called ghostbur, and always separates himself nomatively from before he died. Both ghostbur and revivedbur both emphatically express that they’re “not him” (meaning the other).

ghostbur’s optimism, something that was key to alivebur's (saying to differentiate, referring to Imanberg/pogtopia era wilbur) success at forming a country and strong bonds, gets misconstrued into innocence. he delights in animals and music and small joys, all things that alivebur does as well but represses, and thus, characters view him as childish. 

worst of all, in my opinion, is c!phil, who sees him as some kind of cheap imitation, words can't explain the way this makes me feel at the fact that cphil can't recognize his own son's soul. ghostbur has so many of alivebur's key traits, and everyone (characters & fans) overlook it because he's Emotional, because he's Different, and well, okay this is for another essay. the point is that ghostbur is still wilbur, and he consistently carries that same conflict of self loathing that alivebur does that leads him to separate himself entirely.

and as the narrative continues, the soul and the mind are switched.

cwilbur is revived (i will refer to the mind as revivedbur). even without the context of ranboo's lore, you can tell that this guy is walking around like there's blood still pouring out of his stab wound. the perfectionist is back, but so many parts of him are missing. unlike ghostbur, revivedbur leans into alivebur's facade: and while he can't maintain it, it's enough to get some sense of normalcy. we see this facade tie in to his desperation to "feel alive" in hitting on 16, and we see it all fall down in bust when he breaks down to cphil in bust. 

in his self destruction, this time revivedbur clings to other people, too terrified to let them in out of fear that they'll hate him, he goes all in on making them hate him pre-emptively. he says things that hurt ctommy because he can't bear accidentally disappointing him. he does things rashly, and without willingness to look past his own (often underdeveloped) understanding of the situation. he challenges cquackity instead of working with him because he thinks if he falters even for a second, his facade will drop and they'Il hate him for all he is. he even draws cranboo in because he sees what he thinks is their innocence, and decides to crush it. all of this with the intent of hurting himself, through hurting others. (though, after inconsolable differences, i may have some reevaluating to do here.)

revivedbur verbally expresses hatred for ghostbur whenever given the chance, something that i can't help but chalk up to how he clings to alivebur's persona of confidence and stubbornness: revivedbur sees ghostbur's optimism as weakness. and it's all just one long cycle of self loathing. wilbur is split in two equal parts, and each half hates the other because they're too afraid to be vulnerable. they're both still mentally trapped in pogtopia, not eating or sleeping, terrified and paranoid. it's a gradual progression, but each step parallels the next. if c!wilbur cannot be perfect, he would rather die. but there is no true perfection in life, in leadership, in relationships: he drowns in his own loss of control and lashes out because all he really has left to control is himself. 

so, all this to say that the only way to resolve c!wilbur core conflict and end his story is through self acceptance, and if he dies at the end, that's just pure bullshit. he spends so long denying his feelings, denying that he loves and cares So deeply that his emotions rule him, that the only satisfying end is for him to embrace his love and attachments, and change for the people he cares about, rather than distort himself further.

TLDR: user wormliness really likes wilbur soots minecraft character on the dream smp and thinks that he's a fucked up guy who needs to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known 👍

[atomicfilm]

Identifying ISTPs

-  interacts with the world by showing off their obscure knowledge

- often surprisingly interested in a variety of subjects but focused on details, may catch you off guard if you think they only know about current events to later find out they memorized everything about Alcibiades

- constantly surprises you, either by bringing out their wilder side or showing their more vulnerable emotions

- uses the Wikipedia random generator as a game when they’re bored

- the rare physically active nerd, probably involved in something sort of independent (but still part of a team) like mountain-biking or swimming 

- they’re oddly popular but still loners, they fit into every group yet don’t fit in completely. sometimes a finance bro, sometimes a jock, sometimes an engineer, sometimes an ancient nature creature, sometimes a patron of the arts, but mostly all of the above. however, it’s sort of in a different way from most people, more like they’re gatsby and are a finance bro from the 1920s. truly, their formality can sometimes make them feel like they’re from a different era 

-  they like what they like and if that’s listening to travis scott and driving alone in their car at 2 am then so be it 

- adventurous, their very presence makes you want to do something dangerous (for some people that may look like jumping off a bridge after them, for others it might be indicating your massive, repressed crush on them) 

- they are both very forward flirts and sort of non-commital, distant flirts too. they seem afraid of rejection and kind of flip easily between making a lot of sex jokes and only being able to make eye contact with their crush

- gives off big friends with benefits energy but in the best way as they also can be super polite and genuinely interested in your mind (you could introduce them to your parents if they wanted to be)

- has a soldering iron and mentions it every time they make a new friend (hot tip, if you have one too you’re instant friends)

-  vulnerability is terrifying at first and they may choose to be friends w/ their crushes and thus neutralize their romantic feelings 

- somehow doesn’t seem to get hurt a lot physically? they never come back with scrapes but you know they must have crashed into something at some point 

- LIKELY HAS A CAT (me and the istp i know have matching cats with the same name on accident and it’s fantastic)

- really interested in art forms, particularly writing, and is afraid to be bad at those kinds of things 

- uncomfortable with Emotions but secretly cries when you accidentally ignore them

- rational but have intuition and predictive capabilities that seem supernatural 

- most-likely to text you at 3 am drunkenly and then post photos of the sunrise at 6 am (do they sleep....ever?)

- well-groomed, like, really well-groomed, like, they understand they are a physical entity and know how to take care of themselves 

- OBSERVES EVERYTHING, they notice what someone is doing across the room, they remember the layout of their elementary school, their anxious dreams often focus on realistic elements that have been distorted 

- their observations paired with their analysis leads to a lot of their interpersonal conflicts, it makes it easier to catch lies as well as understand when someone is being out-of-character although they may not emotionally understand why

- uses their physical reactions to understand their emotions in a very deliberate manner (i.e. my heart appears to be racing, perhaps that means i am nervous. what am i nervous about?)

- interested in theories and science, but less-likely to focus all of their attention on making new philosophies 

- will probably only demand two things of you, 1) SPACE   2) your full attention when they return

- sometimes play games out of fear of being vulnerable but do not appreciate being played with

- have a difficult time deciding how much authority and standardization should exist in the world, on one hand, sometimes they are tools to improve society and on the other, sometimes they destroy the beauty of individualism and teaching oneself 

- has some random quirks and obsessions like learning how to build a house for themselves using indigenous knowledge or how to sword fight 

- may spend time reading about things to learn but ultimately need to actively practice them, sometimes are naturally intuitive about how to do something 

[army-of-mai-lovers]

in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough. 

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.” 

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!” 

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role. 

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all. 

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.” 

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.” 

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka  repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--   

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~” 

y’all WHAT. 

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back. 

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai. 

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too. 

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!” 

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse. 

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.) 

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal  adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out. 

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)  

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”  

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show. 

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.” 

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring. 

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what? 

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her. 

Conclusion    

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked. 

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here. 

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice. 

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us. 

[multifandomplushie]

I've been rewatching The 7D a bit lately and finally got around to doing this meme.

This is a Deviantart meme but I felt like posting it here as well.

Please, remember that these are just my opinions, let's all be respectful to each other.

Favorite Character: 

Grumpy: I really love this type of characters who are grumpy most of the time but nonetheless they clearly care a lot about those close to them. This is the same reason I love the original Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Phil from Hercules, Iago from Aladdin after his redemption and so on.

Happy: I enjoy him because he is very openhearted, always able to lighten the mood and sings nice cheerful jingles. I also find him interesting because he's one of those characters who try to make everyone smile and smile themselves in any situation to the point where they disguise or repress their other emotions, and the fact that he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson, aka The Batman's Joker, adds more fuel to the fire.

Sleepy: A very sweet and chill guy. In short, he's a 💤mood💤 and an 🌙aesthetic🌙.

Sneezy: He's a really nice, funny and friendly fella and I think it's pretty cool how in the show his sneezing is often very helpful.

Grim and Hildy Gloom: A great pair of fun and lovable villains with a very cute relationship.

Lord Starchbottom: An amazing guy! Loyal, caring, devoted and hardworking! He deserves to be happy and protected at all cost! 💕

Big Bad Wolf: An extremely charismatic interpretation of a very popular classic fairytale character! I really liked his whole vibe and enjoyed his partnership with Sneezy.

Lord Grudgemunger: An interesting and quite dangerous villain who is tied to a very important point of the show's lore and is one of the most mysterious characters in the series, making him a good figure for fan theories.

Honorable Mentions:

The other dwarfs: I like Doc, Bashful and Dopey too, it’s just that I like the four dwarfs I've mentioned in the beginning the most and they personally appeal to me more.

Cobby: A likable little guy who had a pretty nice chemistry with Grumpy.

Despised Character:

Fairy Godmother: This revolting hag was a bitch towards Hildy during all her screentime (Hildy may not be a nice person but she still doesn't deserve this kind of treatment), gave her Queen Delightful's rollerskates instead of just magically creating her a pair of normal shoes, WAS HITTING ON HER HUSBAND IN FRONT OF HER and undeservedly won a competition in which she did not even take part! 🤬

Dishonorable Mentions:

Goldilocks: I know a lot of people in the fandom hate her because she's a little brat and I gotta agree that she was pretty annoying, but I only have a light fun-to-hate feeling towards her because I think it's pretty silly and pointless to genuinely lose your temper over a child, especially an orphan who most likely never got a proper upbringing.

Dirk Dumphrey: And again, I know the majority of the fandom dislikes this character and I can get why, I myself was kinda angry when he annoyed Sneezy and especially when he took Happy’s guitar, but I can't help but to feel love/hate towards him. Heck, I honestly found some of his moments funny, like when he said he was in love with an enchanted fish or that he worked as a waitress. Plus, in the end we find out he was just a pawn for another villain and was ordered to make the 7D leave the forest. Btw, the ending of his episode was very intriguing, I really wish the show has had more episodes and this whole thing with the villains' coming together has lead to a storyline where the 7D have to prevail against all of them.

Snazzy Shazam: She’s a real pain in Hildy’s neck with her unnecessary sassy commentary, but at least, as I remember, she doesn’t personally throw a wrench in her works.

Favorite Scene:

It’s really hard for me to choose even a small pack of favorite scenes, let alone one. I think it’s because I already have so many faves and like many moments with them, especially when they’re being cute. Grumpy being friendly to others, especially Happy, Sleepy laughing at Sneezy’s jokes, Grim and Hildy being romantic, Starchy caring about the Queen, The Big Bad Wolf genially seeing Sneezy as a business partner, Lord Grudgemunger being polite with the 7D when he was in his storyteller form and after they complimented his plan when he was in his real form – all these were very cute to me.

Despised Scene:

Every moment with The Fairy Godmother: I’ve already told my opinion on her in the Despised Character and gonna add some more in other sections of this meme. So I don’t feel the need to repeat myself here.

When Starchy gets hurt for no reason: Starchy. Deserves. Better.

Queen Delightful’s ‘pounting face’ (from the episode “Funniest Haircut Day”): No offence to the Queen, but 1) this impression doesn’t make her cute, it honestly makes look her repulsive and ugly and 2) it was straight up emotional manipulation of her subjects.

Overrated Character:

Queen Delightful: I don’t hate her and find her enjoyable at times, but I think she is pretty overrated, especially within the show itself.

Underrated Character:

Duke and Duchess of Drear: I think it was a really cool idea to have Hildy's actress's parents to play as Hildy's parents. I personally could feel Ozzy Osbourne and Sharon’s love for their daughter Kelly through Duke and Duchess’s love for Hildy. I especially liked how Duke tried his best to protect his little girl from being taken away. I know it was his fault he promised his first born to Rumplestiltskin, but he was young back then and didn’t look so far into the future. When Hildy was born, she became the most precious thing to him in the whole world and he loves her with all his heart.

Big Bad Wolf: This guy is way too cool to have a big role in just one episode! He needed more screentime! And he deserves more fan content dedicated to him! Cause it feels like the only person who actively uses him in her content is Toongirl18 (@toongirl18).

Lord Grudgemunger: He is a fun but also a mysterious character. He was a part of a very important event in Jollywood’s history, which was referenced several times even before “The Rock of Sages”, and is strongly hinted to be related to Grim. With all that, I’m surprised he’s not that popular. I’d even go so far as to say he’s the most underrated character of the show.

Favorite Couple:

Grumpy x Happy (🧀Cheesy Song🎶/Say Cheese): One of my favorite 'opposites attract' pairings! Grumpy may be annoyed by Happy’s singing every now and then, but the show proves time and time again they have a good close relationship.

Sleepy x Sneezy (🤧Fever Dream😴): Every time we see these two interact, they get along very well. They chill, have laughs, etc. In other words, they seem to be on the same wavelength.

Grim x Hildy (💙Grildy💜): To my knowledge, this is the only canon married villain couple in Disney animation (except for maybe The King and The Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland). This is one of my biggest villain OTPs! Despite Hildy’s occasional whiny behavior and Grim’s foolishness, the two clearly have a strong loving relationship, which made them a wholesome power couple and a great team.

Lord Starchbottom x Ima Odeldork (an OC by WanderSong): I was so happy to find out that someone made Starchy a loving and supportive girlfriend. I think Ima is a great soulmate choice for him because even though Queen Delightful does appreciate Starchy, I still think his inner circle lacks someone who would be just as devoted to him as he is to others, especially to the Queen.

Honorable Mentions:

Lord Starchbottom x Queen Delightful (💖Delightbottom💚/Jolly Royals): Starchy is the closest person to the Queen. He is unbelievably devoted to her and always does everything in his power to keep her happy and safe. The Queen is very caring towards him as well and clearly sees him as more than just a royal servant, he is her best friend. I think these two can work both as friends and as a couple. But with an OC like Ima, I prefer OC x Canon. However, in terms of just canon characters, I prefer Lord Starchbottom x Queen Delightful to Bashful x Queen Delightful.

Despised Couple:

Grim x The Fairy Godmother: I hated the way The Fairy Godmother was coming onto Grim. My biggest issue with this is not even an obviously large age gap (there can be situations where a couple with an age gap can work). My problem is that she hits on a married guy in front of his wife, aka the girl she’s clearly trying to make completely miserable. And Grim, being the innocent-minded cinnamon roll he is, really seems to take all of it as just compliments.

Dishonerable Mentions:

Bashful x Queen Delightful (Queen of Hearts): I am not a fan of this ship but I can understand why people like it. It’s just that I can't see it as anything but Bashful having a simple one-sided crush on the Queen. He seems to have had feelings for her for a long time yet he's not even remotely close to the kind of intimacy, which, for example, Starchy has with the Queen. I feel like Bashful is in love with her image rather than with Delightful herself. Personally, it reminds me of something like Dipper and Wendy (Gravity Falls) or Mac and Frankie (Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends), a type of relationship that seems pretty hopeless and lacks any actual progress, where the two involved should really just stay friends.

Favorite Song:

The 7D Theme Song: A banger that does an awesome job at motivating people to watch the show!

I'm Not Very Nice: A catchy villain song that’s about how good it feels to be bad… Classic Disney!

Happy Birthday Hi Ho: A wonderful conclusion to a lovely episode where Starchy gets love and appreciation he deserves.

Despised Song:

Baby's Got Gas: I usually enjoy Happy's songs and this one could've been good, I honestly liked the rhythm, but the context in which it was sung and baby's burping after every line made this song the only one I didn't like and had a hard time listening to. Oh well, at least it was short.

Favorite Episode:

Grim Genius: A great Glooms-centered episode with a deeper exploration of Hildy and Grim's relationship.

Big Bad Sneezy: Best Sneezy episode in which he has an interesting (though temporary) bond with a villain.

Surprise: I like this episode for the same reason I like “Band Geeks” from SpongeBob SquarePants. It’s kinda similar: a character who is very unlucky and usually the butt of the jokes gets some time to feel good, and the episode ends with him being very happy and surrounded by his friends while a memorable song is playing.

The Rock of Sages: A great Season 1 finale where the stakes got higher compared to the rest of the show, a villain who was previously foreshadowed appeared trough a really nice twist and each of the 7D got time to shine one after another.

Despised Episode:

Hildyrella: I think you already know why I don’t like this episode. That’s right! The Fairy Godmother. It’s a shame, really. This episode has some really great things like Starchy, as always, being a great friend to Queen Delightful and some pretty cool designs for witches and warlocks, but this damn fairy ruined it for me and made it overall leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

Meme: https://www.deviantart.com/clumsy-starla/art/The-7D-controversy-meme-717079716

Meme by Clumsy-Starla

Ima T. Oteldork by WanderSong

The drawing of Lord Starchbottom and Ima Oteldork by topcatmeeces97

[sciderman]

you have a lot of headcanons about their top/bottom dynamics? ......hm.......*slides a dollar over tthe table*

i can’t believe how horny this place has gotten. i can’t believe i’m feeding you all like this. i’ve repressed all this for like, four years and it’s all bubbling to the surface. okay, so: 

- peter is pretty selfless when it comes to love - he’ll fall all over himself to please his partner, and he’ll quite happily neglect his own needs to make sure his partner is happy first. this works just fine for wade, who… 

so wade often “comes first”, if you catch my drift. wade gets his way and gets pampered, not necessarily because he demands it (though he does), but because peter is just. an incredibly generous boy, who wants nothing more than for wade to feel good and amazing. and wade’s so, so good and appreciative, that it’s a real treat for peter too. 

- wade’s greedy, that’s no secret. he’s not a very good top at all, because he does kind of make it all about him. he can’t help it. that’s the way he is. especially at the beginning of the relationship, when all that’s in his mind is that he wants to be loved and to know that he’s being loved. 

truly wade is just a bottom at heart because he craves attention, and loves to feel treasured. this works just fine for peter, who loves to shower his partner in praise and other such niceties. truly. carnal bliss. like jigsaw pieces that fit together perfectly. though eventually wade starts wanting to return the favour, considering how nice and good and generous his boy has been. 

- while peter’s not exactly hesitant per say, he’s has a more traditional view on sex and masculinity, which wade thinks is frankly pretty ridiculous. 

wade kind of takes it upon him to break those barriers down, piece by piece. he’d never pressure peter into something he didn’t want to do, of course, but little nudges to push peter out of his comfort zone and unleash the wild spider within. peter has never been able to really be himself with a partner before (gwen didn’t know peter was spider-man, and felicia didn’t know spider-man was peter), so wade’s really the first person who’s able to peel back all of peter’s layers. there’s a she-wolf in the closet, open up and set her free. awoo! 🎶

- low-key, it’s a big part of why 9319 wade was so conflicted about peter’s big “I’m Bisexual” moment. he really wanted to be there for that breakthrough. all those years of trying to chip away at it. 

(just another of wade’s many, many character flaws shining through. greedy. greedy boy. likes to make it all about him. like he deserves credit for his hard work, or something. wade is a self-depreciating narcissist. complicated man.)

wade does like to take ownership over peter’s transformation. he takes pride in his work. wade’s so so proud of himself when he’s able to undo peter and get him to abandon his reservations and just let completely loose. encourages peter to use his strength, lose himself. stop worrying. switch off that big brain. 

part of that is to get peter to accept being pampered and trying new things and new surprises. it’s all a very educational and liberating experience for peter. 

other miscellaneous headcanons 

- heightened senses. peter’s heightened senses. it makes him so easy to unravel, with a well-placed kiss or wade whispering in his ear. 

- wade and peter are evenly matched in wits in any other context, but wade’s able to completely short out peter’s brain on demand. this sucks for peter. peter tries to knock wade off his feet with a few surprises of his own. usually it’s a show of strength or some other clever little use of his powers that wade finds freaky-deaky! (wade: i knew you were holding out on me.) usually, though, the most effective way to knock wade off balance is a show of emotion. wade typically doesn’t know how to counter that. 

- as much as wade acts like a brat, or a petulant child when he doesn’t get his way (which peter loves, honestly) wade is very good at doing as he’s told,  whenever sex is involved. (which peter also loves.) it’s the only time wade likes it when peter bosses him around. 

- wade likes to be told he’s being a good boy. he preens when he’s praised. top or bottom, doesn’t matter. in a sexual context or otherwise. say nice things about him and he’s all gooey like caramel. 

- they both like it rough. they love to be hoisted up, tossed, thrown hard against a wall - they love scrapes and bruises and adrenaline. at the end of it, they’re soft and tender, but they love to spar and wrestle for who gets to take charge. (wade lets peter win, more often than not. and he’s not even subtle about it.) (wade: ughn!  drats! i don’t stand a chance against your strong, strong arms, and your clever, clever brain! curse you, spider-man!) 

- (wade: i do it because i know you’re a sore loser, and i don’t want to wound your ego.) (peter: you do it because you’re a stupid bottom.) (wade gasps, faux-offended.) (wade: i’ll show you who’s a stupid bottom, spider-man.)

- peter simps very. very hard for wade in a pretty, pretty dress. there’s nothing that makes peter feel weaker in the knees than a pretty, pretty girl. and wade wilson? the prettiest girl peter’s ever laid eyes on. the dresses give wade a confidence boost too, so 90% of the time, when wade’s in the dress, he’s wearing the trousers (metaphorically speaking). peter bottoms for wade, all the while wade’s in beautiful, beautiful lace and frills. talk about challenging your preconceived notions of masculinity. 

- both of them are very tactile and touchy-feely. wade loves running his hands through peter’s dumb hair. pulling his dumb hair. 

- peter, peter loves fiddling with wade’s clothes. his suit, the straps, his belt loops, anything. but specifically wade’s pretty, pretty frills and skirts. none of my artwork depicting this specific headcanon are safe for work. sorry. 

- okay and FINALLY have to address the elephant in the room here. web kink.

the answer is: sometimes. it’s not actually a staple, it’s something peter mostly does when wade’s misbehaving. wade has good humour about it, and it’s mostly for a laugh, but it’s really impractical and a bit of a turn-off actually. (wade: i have to wait here. for a whole HOUR????) 

truly, they like touching each other far too much for them to be into the whole bondage thing. wade, actually, really isn’t into bondage at all. it’s really not his bag, as much as he jokes about it. 

peter’s more into it, in a schadenfreude sort of way. it’s entertaining. 

wade humours him - but when it comes to bondage, wade’s actually pretty vanilla. he doesn’t have the best memories when it comes to being restrained, so they don’t do it very often. seeing peter being restrained doesn’t really do anything for wade either, especially since it’s just a charade. peter can’t be restrained. 

i can imagine a scenario where peter is tied up by something very delicate, like red ribbons or something, purely for show. that’s something that’ll do it for wade. more of a romantic gesture, really. 

okay. that’s all for now folks. this is already so much longer than i expected it to be, oh my god.