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iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid · 3 years ago

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in celebration of finally finishing that danny phantom thing that i half-wrote at age 15 and resurrected entirely from memory for the funsies, here’s a synopsis/pitch of the other, longer, much more batshit insane and convoluted and fun danny phantom thing i also half-wrote at age 15 but definitely don’t have the time to resurrect from memory like i did with the first one

(this is also the plot i'll use if butch hartman ever personally hands me the rights to danny phantom and i get to write a reboot miniseries. who knows, maybe it’ll happen)

fair warning this post is. long.

anyway, hello and welcome to: the first full-length fictional plot i ever wrote :’)

so, opening scene: from dash’s perspective even though he’s not a main character in this at all, he’s at the park with his dog and is just, like, in the wrong place at the wrong time when danny phantom comes flying onto the scene in the middle of a fight with bullet and skulker at the same time. bullet wants to arrest him, skulker’s like “no one gets to capture him except ME” and is fighting both of them, danny’s just trying (unsuccessfully) to keep this fight from causing a whole lot of property damage. you know, your standard chaotic fight scene

danny’s a little in over his head here, so dash (bless his stupid, stupid, stupid heart) tries to help, which makes it worse. but don’t worry! sam and tucker show up! and tucker’s got danny’s backpack full of ghost weapons! and they’ve got that gun that creates ghost zone portals and sucks the target up into it! so, right as bullet manages to catch skulker in a net, sam shoots the gun at bullet, but it sucks up the net-encased skulker instead. not the intended target, but whatever, no complaints getting rid of skulker. the fight gets more chaotic, bullet almost kills dash's dog, and eventually dash gets his hands on the portal gun. he’s like, okay, i got this, how hard can it be? manson’s like 90lbs and she could handle the recoil, right? but, shitty luck, bullet sees what he’s doing, and he manages to get to sam and tucker right before the gun goes off, SO the portal sucks bullet, sam, and tucker all into the ghost zone at once. dash is panicking because he honest to god thinks he killed them, until danny manages to talk him down and is like “okay let’s get you to my par-- to the fenton’s house, they have first aid for injuries from ghost fights and you took a pretty nasty hit, we’ll get you and your dog situated and then i gotta go find and save those two totally random teenagers who i definitely barely know”

there are two problems with this plan!

the first problem is that, just as danny’s about to leave, dani shows up at his house. she’s falling apart into ectoplasmic goop again and she’s scared and she doesn’t know who else to go to for help, and she straight up passes out in his living room. danny’s like “crap, i can’t forget about sam and tucker though, hey jazz you can handle this until i get back?” and jazz is like I FUCKING GUESS as her brother leaves her with an unconscious twelve-year-old to go save his friends from the ghost zone

the second problem? he’s obviously expecting that bullet took sam and tucker to walker’s prison, right? well, here’s the thing. walker has recently formed an alliance with (and bear with me on this) the guys in white. he’s no longer running a prison in the ghost zone, he’s running a prison in the human world right on the outskirts of amity park

it will take danny a while to figure this out. poor kid’s just gonna find an empty prison and be VERY confused for a bit

okay, so bullet now has: (2) teenagers and (1) skulker to bring to the fancy new prison they’re running in the human world. he tosses the teenagers in a cell because, like, obviously the phantom kid’s gonna come after them, this is the best bait we’re ever gonna get, and then he drags a curiously quiet skulker to walker’s office

walker takes one look at skulker and is like “bullet. that’s not skulker.” because when skulker got caught in the net and figured out he couldn’t bust out of it, he jettisoned his tiny real body out of the suit and wriggled out through the holes in the net. bullet’s like “damn it” and walker’s like “actually.... no, this might be useful, we can use this. there’s one fugitive we’ve wanted for years and we might finally have a way to bring him in”

ENTER VLAD. he’s the mayor of amity park at this point and, like, deeply regretting that decision. he’s so, so tired. he’s so cranky. he’s considering goading daniel into a fight just so he can stop looking at 60-page long zoning policies on his desk. and then skulker shows up in his office, and he’s... acting kind of weird? skulker tells him that the guys in white have arrested the ghost boy. vlad does not believe him for a second. he’s like “skulker, those federally funded half wits couldn’t catch a ghost if it waltzed right into their front lawn,” and skulker’s like nah they totally got him i saw it. anyway, after a few minutes vlad figures out what’s up, he walks up to skulker and punches a very glowy ectoplasm-y fist through skulker’s suit and pries out the empty cockpit seat, and he’s like... hm. this is. concerning. someone was remotely controlling skulker’s suit. so he checks the tracking device he attached to danny’s backpack (because that’s actually a thing he did in canon wtf butch hartman), and sure enough it’s pinging at the guys in white facility on the outskirts of town, because unbeknownst to him tucker was wearing danny’s backpack when he and sam got captured. so now vlad’s like, fuck, the guys in white (a) somehow captured daniel (b) somehow got a hold of skulker’s suit without skulker in it (c) know who he is because not-skulker referred to him in human form as “plasmius” and (d) they have the audacity to try to lure him into a trap? do they have any idea how powerful he is? oh sure they want vlad plasmius i will show them vlad plasmius

and BOY HOWDY DOES HE. gotta love the hubris on this guy. he waltzes right into the guys in white’s front lawn, puts up one hell of a fight, destroys a ton of anti-ghost equipment, and then gets knocked out and dragged to a cell. the cell right next to the one sam and tucker are in. they’re in the middle of debating how serious this situation actually is because, like, come on, walker’s not the most competent of villains and the guys in white are even worse, it’s not like they can-- oh okay nevermind they, uh. they got plasmius. okay. well. shit,

queue my second favorite trope in existence: unlikely team-up! sam convinces plasmius to work with them to escape, and after plasmius tries (and fails) on his own, he gives in. plasmius uses telekinesis to fuck around with the electronic locks on the cells, tucker walks him through deactivating them, and they’re home free! except (shocker) vlad turns on them. it’s sam’s perspective: plasmius slams a door in their faces and welds it shut with his powers, sam and tucker run another way to try and get out, shit gets chaotic, tucker gets very badly injured because he shoves sam out of the way of one of the guards’ weapons, and they both get tossed in a new cell. sam’s freaking out and yelling at the guard because tucker needs medical attention right fucking now, but the guard’s ignoring her, and then -- oh hey! looks like vlad’s dumb ass got caught again, too, because he gets tossed into the same cell, this time wearing cuffs that suppress his powers. sam reams him out, he’s ignoring her because he’s very angry that the escape didn’t work despite using the kids as a distraction and he frankly doesn’t care how angry sam is right now, and then: tucker passes out. he is NOT doing well, guys! eventually vlad steps up and convinces the guard to deactivate the cuffs just long enough to let him use his powers to stop this kid from dying, which he explains is mostly because he’d rather not be stuck in this cell with a dead body

so, like, half-ghost powers are stupid OP in canon, this is established, so i decided they can have some minor healing abilities too. vlad just sort of knows he can do it in theory and then he accidentally did it once when he was making danielle, so like. he gets the gist. anyway, he’s able to use his powers to get tucker out of the woods, but just barely, because the kid’s still unconscious. it also takes a LOT out of vlad, but... whatever. not like he’s got anything better to do, right? surely he won’t be needing some strength any time soon, right?

anyway, they talk for a bit. plasmius is.... so tired. sam is still angry, but a little less so since he technically saved tucker’s life (after causing the problem in the first place). plasmius defends himself, saying that while he didn’t particularly care, he didn’t think he was actually endangering either of them, because really, of the three of them, he’s the only one in any danger from staying here. he’d assumed, incorrectly, that the guys in white would be careful around literal children, but hey. lesson learned.

a lot of this story involves the three of them interacting, actually. half of vlad’s character development here is the result of a teenager being, like, just painfully blunt about what an asshole he is

so in the middle of this conversation, a few guards show up and drag plasmius out of the cell. where are they taking him? who knows! sam sure doesn’t, but she does see the elevator indicate which floor they take him to, at least. not that that helps much.

meanwhile! jazz, being the little genius she is, spins a half-fake story to her parents about how dani is a friend of danny’s from school, and she’s not feeling well, and she ran away from home because jazz is pretty sure dani’s parents are very very very bad parents. she manages to convince maddie and jack to at least wait until dani wakes up, get her side of the story, and listen to her before they start trying to locate and contact her parents. easy peasy. after talking to dani one (1) time maddie is going to become very protective over this little girl, and she is going to resolve to beat her mysterious father to death with that baseball bat that has the word “fenton” on it

back at the prison: tucker’s awake and feeling okay. plasmius gets dragged back to the cell and is very much not feeling okay. he’s awake, but just barely, and he’s clearly in a whole lot of pain. there’s burn marks on his hands, and his fingertips are burned black, and sam and tucker can’t really think of anything to do for him here, other than like... distract him? so they talk a bunch, mostly planning alternate routes of escape.

in the ghost zone: danny runs into skulker (actual tiny frog skulker) in his search through the empty husk that once was walker’s prison. skulker’s like “hey! you want your friends and i want my suit! let’s work together!”

back at the prison: it’s been several hours since the first no good very bad escape attempt. plasmius has been taken from the cell again. sam and tucker are minding their own business when Tiny Skulker shows up, of all places, in the air vent.

begin Escape Attempt 2: Electric Bugaloo

having a four-inch tall ghost who’s also a whiz with mechanics on your side is one hell of an advantage! he cuts the power, opens a bunch of cells, and gets danny access to the building. CHAOS, kids! the guys in white had captured a LOT of ghosts! ember’s bursting guards’ ear drums, the box ghost is just. screaming, most of the ghosts immediately flee without bothering with the guards, but things are still going generally haywire which is great for our protagonists. danny gets to sam and tucker and starts leading them out, but then sam and tucker are like “wait, shit, plasmius” and danny’s like “i should have KNOWN he was behind this” and they’re like “solid guess, but no” and the three of them +1 tiny frog ghost head down to the very bottom basement level, where plasmius must be.

and he is! this is where the guys in white have been experimenting on him, and because i was 15 and still obsessed with jak II please picture the bigass room from the beginning of that game. you know, the one where they tortured the main guy and turned him into a jekyll and hyde monster? anyway, everyone is very dismayed at seeing even a bad guy like vlad in this situation. skulker is goddamn fuming. danny and co bust in, fight off a bunch of agents, but then! bullet shows up and makes everything much more complicated. sam and tucker and skulker are all busy trying to wake vlad up (skulker is literally jumping up and down on his chest), and danny’s trying to fight bullet and stop him from attacking the others at the same time, which is not easy because bullet doesn’t give a shit about collateral damage. eventually danny resorts to the ghostly wail which is uh. not a great idea. since it compromises the structure of the entire basement and also renders him powerless for a little bit. and danny, in a bit of a panic, yells at skulker to get the rest of them out of there

so skulker overshadows a barely conscious human-form vlad, grabs sam and tucker, and fuckin bolts. he flies them up the elevator shaft and out of the building and into the specter speeder, which he and danny have parked outside behind some bushes

obviously sam and tucker are not pleased with this! they left danny! so they yell at vlad/skulker to take them back, but apparently it’s very difficult to overshadow even a barely conscious vlad, because skulker gets flung out of his body half a second after they get into the specter speeder, and skulker refuses to take vlad back into that place even if he could, so they have no choice but to fly off without danny while they can still get away. there is a flying car-chase-esque scene here, but don’t worry, vlad’s got juuuuuust enough juice left in him to make the speeder intangible/invisible so tucker can fly it down out of sight and get them safely to the fentons.

so, the rescue attempt...... technically worked, but now danny’s there instead. not good! especially when vlad reveals exactly what went down in that room where they were experimenting on him

turns out, a while back, the guys in white stumbled upon some sort of artifact that, with a lot of tweaking, allows them to somewhat control ghosts. (hey, remember that episode where danny called the guys in white to raid vlad’s castle in wisconsin? remember when a bunch of federal agents raided the home of a dude who has, like, a shit ton of spooky supernatural shit just lying around? yeah) so it turns out they never formed an alliance with walker and all his goons, they’re controlling walker and all his goons, and they were trying to figure out if they could make it work on half-ghosts, too, by fucking around with vlad. spoiler alert: it worked! he’s, like, fully certain he’s losing it. it is taking every ounce of his self control to keep his head above water and not go flying back to that facility and/or indiscriminately attack anyone that gets too close to him. he is frequently hallucinating a college-age maddie who seems nice but keeps telling him to just give in to the mind control and fly back to the prison. (LORE TIME: the artifact in question controls ghosts by using and warping half-buried memories from when they were alive, so for half-ghost vlad, we get his best friends from right before the accident.) so yeah, he is straight up not having a good time my dudes

and it’s only gonna get worse! because not only are the guys in white capable of controlling ghosts, vlad now knows that their endgame here is to control enough ghosts that they can send them all out into the ghost zone with incendiary devices and destroy the entire ghost zone. they do not know that would destroy the Actual Real Earth too, and they probably wouldn’t listen if, say, a bunch of teenagers and one forty-year-old half ghost told them that

okay, so the stakes have now been upped from “our friend is in the custody of government agents” to “the world might end.” they know they’re outgunned here. the only way they can get danny out of that place and stop the guys in white is with help. the only way they can get help is if maddie and jack know the situation. the only way that happens is..... if vlad tells them.

so he does. it goes exactly as well as you’d expect. maddie breezes right past the “you’re half ghost” thing and focuses on the “you’re danielle’s father” thing, and she punches him in the jaw, and then she tells him that after they work together to save danny he can never ever think of her as a friend again, which... oof.

they all spend the night at the fentons. maddie figures out how to stabilize dani now that she has the proper context for why she’s falling apart in the first place. also there’s an obligatory heart-to-heart in the kitchen in the middle of the night between a very exhausted and nearly-at-the-end-of-his-rope vlad and a very confused and worried jack, because you can’t give this dude a redemption arc without letting him talk it out with his old bff first amirite ladies

side note: this entire time, skulker’s suit has been sitting in the locked storage closet of vlad’s office, because that’s where he left it after ripping the cockpit seat out and shutting the whole thing down. he calls his office intern, who is FREAKING OUT because there were, like, a bunch of federal agents questioning her yesterday? after the mayor disappeared? and now he wants her to break into his office? is he insane? he’s like “i’ll give you a raise” and she’s like “you don’t pay me” and he’s like “fine i’ll pay your tuition” and she’s like “..... give me ten minutes”

aaaaaaaaand now we have Escape Attempt 3: Tokyo Drift

unfortunately i plucked a lot from this planned ending scene and used it for the ending scene of the dp road trip fic, so this will sound familiar if you’ve read that, but: the rescue mission is a HUGE rescue mission, involving valerie as extra firepower since i’m pretty sure at this point it’s right after she found out danny’s secret in canon? anyway it also involves sam tricking the guys in white into thinking she’s handing over plasmius in a thermos, but in reality she’s giving them cujo. cujo goes NUTS as soon as he’s dropped in a cell and starts tearing down walls. tucker hacks into their security systems. skulker, newly reunited with his suit, draws a ton of the agents in his direction by just being a general menace. jack literally crashes the specter speeder through a wall and he, maddie, valerie, dani, and jazz all flood into the place. fight scene fight scene etcetera etcetera etcetera, final confrontation with bullet and walker that the good guys win and they suck them both up into thermoses etcetera etcetera, danny and sam reunion where the guys in white have clearly been trying to use their ghost-controlling-thing on danny but she kisses him to at least momentarily snap him out of it (shut up i was 15), and then at some point the guys in white get full control of vlad BUT maddie and jack manage to destroy the thing they’re using to control him, so we’re briefly saved there. unfortunately there’s just an absolute shitload of agents that have arrived as back-up, and it looks like our good guys are about to lose, and then--

vlad projects a forcefield between every single agent and every single person on their side. the fight comes to a standstill. he’s channeling every ounce of Charismatic Slightly Unhinged Villain Energy he has in full force, showing off, and he’s basically like, hey, you can clearly see i’m more powerful than both of these half-ghosts and that other ghost combined, seeing as i’m keeping them all from fighting without breaking a sweat (untrue, he is definitely breaking a sweat) and he offers them a deal: let everyone else go, and i’ll willingly help you pull off this endgame plan of yours

the agents are like “why would we let those two half-ghosts go just to get one half-ghost in return” and vlad’s like “i’m SO glad you asked! one reason is that i can do this” and he makes a bunch of clones “so you won’t even need to control a mass amount of ghosts, and the other far more important reason is that if you don’t agree to my terms, i will turn around and kill both of those half-ghosts before you can get your hands on either one of them :) do not :) try me :)”

they do not try him. they agree to his terms. vlad uses those dozen or so clones to forcibly grab danny, dani, sam, tucker, valerie, jazz, jack, and maddie, and flies them out of the building before dissipating the clones. (skulker goes willingly.) then plasmius follows the guys in white to wherever they’re storing all these incendiary devices, and obviously he’s not actually planning on destroying the ghost zone for them -- he grabs up a bunch of the weapons, scatters more clones across the whole facility, and blows the whole place to kingdom come while he’s still inside

nobody comes out of this unscathed, least of all vlad. i’m pretty sure i had him lose a limb in the ensuing explosion? probably a leg? anyway, the closing arc of the story takes place in the hospital, where vlad wakes up and gets a very emotional scolding from maddie for nearly killing himself (and he’s like? are we? okay? is this us being okay? you’re yelling at me but you seem upset that i almost died, i’m very confused) and she eventually hugs him which sort of answers that question, and she’s like “i’m not just going to forget about danielle,” and he’s like “actually i... wanted to talk to you about that”

next scene is the hospital cafeteria, where danny’s safely snug between his parents talking to them and jazz about all the ghost hunting stuff they never knew about, and vlad walks in, only to be immediately stopped by sam, who goes “are you okay?” and he’s like “yes?” and she’s like “good” and punches him full force in the arm like “THAT’S for almost dying” and he’s like “??? why is everyone so mad at me for saving their lives wtf” and she rolls her eyes and walks with him toward the table where she, tucker, valerie, and dani had been sitting. she sees him looking at dani, so she awkwardly nudges tucker and val and is like “let’s! go over there” and leaves them alone. vlad sits down across from dani and basically lays out for her that he sold the castle in wisconsin, resigned from his mayor position, and bought a new place in amity park that... happens to be within the boundary of the casper high school district? and he’s like, listen, you absolutely 100% do not have to live with me. but it’s an option. and you have to live somewhere and go to school, so if you don’t want to live with me, maddie and jack have already agreed to take you in. this isn’t an ultimatum, it’s not a trick, you can just... choose. and whether you choose to live in the house i’ve just bought or not, you’ll be welcome there whenever you want.

and that’s it! i like to imagine that dani chooses to live with the fentons at first and then, like, slowly starts visiting vlad until she gets more comfortable around him. like he's resigned himself to her not being in his house, and then one day she shows up in the middle of him watching a football game, starts eating his snacks and watching the game with him and asking questions about how it works, stays the whole day before leaving, etc. meanwhile danny gets to go on ghost hunting and being the town superhero but this time without having to hide his identity from his parents, and with dani as his live-in sidekick and sort of little sister, and with valerie helping them both out keeping the town safe. vlad keeps doing research in his (new) lab, which is built into the side of his new house and has, like, a lot of windows this time around so it’s more “regular academic lab” and less “mad scientist’s basement,” and he starts mending his relationship with jack and maddie. also he goes to therapy. a lot of therapy. the end

and like i said, if somebody could just make danny phantom public domain i’d already be putting together a spec script for a miniseries reboot with this exact plot lmao

(and bless u if you made it to the end of this post, ily)

#danny phantom #me #under the cut is no lie like 4k words #it's a oneshot in itself #but the plot of what would likely be like a 100k fic

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destination-despairing · 5 years ago

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The One Where They Get Locked in a Room and Talk About Their Feelings

“I’m not seeing any gloves, are you?”

Hajime turned the tight corner around another shelf of medical equipment, continuing to search the hospital supply room.

Fuyuhiko wasn’t too far away, peering at a row of boxes. “Nah, I’m not seeing it. We sure they’re actually in here or what?”

“Beats me, but this is where Mikan told us to look so… ah!” Hajime reached up to a shelf just a bit over his head to grab a box of blue hospital gloves. “Got ‘em.”

“Great, let’s get out of here now, it smells like chemicals.”

“It smells like chemicals in every room here,” Hajime pointed out, joining Fuyuhiko at the door. He took the knob and turned.

There was a rattling sound, and the doorknob remained firmly in place.

“Huh?” Hajime wiggled the doorknob again as Fuyuhiko tried in vain to peer over Hajime’s much taller shoulder.

“Is there a problem?” He asked, sounding impatient.

“I think the door is jammed.” Hajime gave the door a push, and for good measure tried to pull instead. The door remained, unyielding.

“Lemme see.” Fuyuhiko tried the door as well, eventually swearing in frustration and giving it a kick. “Well great! Guess we’re stuck in here now!”

“Mikan will probably come find us when we don’t come back,” Hajime said.

“I dunno, she seemed to have her hands full with Nagito, Akane, and Ibuki.” Fuyuhiko shook his head. “She might not even notice.”

“She’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Yeah, but before or after Monokuma shreds us for breaking the no nighttime hospital guests rule?” Fuyuhiko, seeming pretty calm for someone who just mentioned death by bear, leaned back against the nearby wall before sliding down to sit on the floor. “Guess all we can do is wait.”

Hajime set the box of gloves aside and stood awkwardly for a bit before finding a box to sit on. He fidgeted slightly with his fingers, realizing he hadn’t actually spent this much time with Fuyuhiko before. Up until his recovery he hadn’t really been interested in making friends or working together, and now Hajime saw him everyday.

“…” Fuyuhiko seemed irritated, head lowering and arms folding over his chest. “… hey, don’t sit on that. You’ll dent it or something.”

“What?” Hajime examined the box he was on, and then looked back at Fuyuhiko. That was when he realized he was sitting in the yakuza’s recently acquired blind spot. “Oh, yeah. You’re right."

He moved over to sit in front of Fuyuhiko, noticing how the tension left him once Hajime came into view.

After that they sat in silence for a bit, until Fuyuhiko spoke again.

"What the hell are you doing anyway?” He gestured to Hajime, who realized he’d been curling and uncurling some IV tubing around his hand with nervous energy.

“S-sorry,” he apologized, dropping the tubing. “I just… don’t like hospitals.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Fuyuhiko agreed in a huff. “You ever spend time in one?”

“No.” Hajime’s hands brushed against a phantom itch on his forehead. “It’s silly, I don’t know why they bother me so much.”

“That sterile smell can get annoying,” Fuyuhiko said. “And so does lying in bed. Plus the nurses here are so timid.”

Hajime laughed a little, feeling a bit bad for Mikan that they were joking at her expense. “How is that healing up anyway?”

“Why do you wanna know, huh?” Fuyuhiko snapped, making Hajime jump a bit.

“I was just hoping it wasn’t troubling you too much!"

"Of course it doesn’t trouble me, what kind of yakuza would I be if I let something like this affect me?” Fuyuhiko sighed, sharp edges softening as he seemed to accept Hajime meant no harm. “It’s fine…”

“It’s okay if it hurts,” Hajime said. “No one’s around to know, and this place is full of painkillers.”

“Man, you can be kinda stupid sometimes…"

Fuyuhiko shut his eye, and Hajime took that as a sign that the conversation was over. He hadn’t meant to pry, it was just that the way Fuyuhiko was breathing… it looked controlled and slow like every breath ached. Hajime wished he could find a way to get Fuyuhiko to set aside his pride and accept some help, but it had taken so much already to get him where he already was. He didn’t want to keep pushing him somewhere he wasn’t comfortable.

”… I can’t just not feel it.“

Hajime’s head snapped up, and he saw Fuyuhiko looking away from him as he spoke softly.

"I got her into that mess, and she protected me,” Fuyuhiko said. “And I’ll live for her now, but I won’t disrespect her by not feeling the pain.”

“… you really think Peko would want you to be in pain?” Hajime asked.

“Nah, but that’s not about to stop me.”

“Man, and you think I’m stupid!”

Fuyuhiko laughed, sounding a little shocked. Hajime’s concerned and irritated frown melted at the laugh, so he just rolled his eyes instead and started perusing the shelves. There wasn’t much medicine stocked in here, that sort of thing seemed reserved for the pharmacy, but he was able to find a bottle of painkillers that looked strong enough for a sword slash but gentle enough for a guy who weighed 90lbs soaking wet.

“Here.” He tossed them to Fuyuhiko. “When we get out of here you can get some water and take some.”

“You’re bossy,” Fuyuhiko said, though he seemed happy.

An hour passed by, then half an hour more. Hajime was pacing, starting to worry that maybe Mikan was too distracted to remember them.

“You’re making me dizzy,” Fuyuhiko complained, reaching out to catch Hajime’s wrist as he passed by. “Sit down, that’s not helping anything.”

Hajime groaned and sat down, leaning back against the wall next to Fuyuhiko. “I’m so bored!”

“Why don’t you play with that damn pet on the handbook?” Fuyuhiko suggested.

“I guess…” Hajime sighed, pulling out his handbook. “There’s not a lot I can do without walking though…”

“If you start pacing again I’ll trip you.”

“Well looks like I paced enough for it to come out of its cocoon.” Hajime watched as the cocoon shoke, and suddenly spat out his evolved pet.

“What is that?” Fuyuhiko laughed. “A rabbit gorilla? That’s stupid.”

“Hey, at least it’s not Shitimi!”

“Shit what?”

“You know, when you don’t take care of it and it evolves into-”

Fuyuhiko was already taking out his handbook and opening up the pet game. Hajime leaned closer so he could see, and sure enough there was a Shitimi dancing about on the screen.

“Dude,” Hajime tsked. “You barely even tried huh?”

“Shut up! Who has time to play games with all the murder going on!” Fuyuhiko elbowed him. “Who’s the real idiot here, the guy focused on the real world or the guy with the rabbit gorilla?”

“Pffft.” Hajime laughed, and before he realized what he was doing he was leaning against Fuyuhiko, resting their heads against each other. He tapped the screen.

“At least clean up now that you have it open,” he said.

He became aware of how he’d closed the distance between them at the same time he became aware of how Fuyuhiko was blushing and staring down at the handbook pretending to care.

“Oh jeez, sorry!” He pulled away quickly.

“What?” Fuyuhiko said just a bit too loud. “Don’t be stupid! It’s fine!”

“It’s fine?” Hajime stammered.

“It won’t be fine if you keep gawking and running your mouth.” Fuyuhiko huffed, before yanking Hajime closer again, this time resting his head on Hajime’s shoulder and pulling the handbook up to his face to hide the blush as he tapped away at the screen.

Hajime felt his own face warm up, and a wave of butterflies spread throughout his body as he smelled Fuyuhiko’s cologne and felt his slight weight against him. He definitely hadn’t been expecting this but… it was kind of nice.

“Jeez, I can’t just throw gifts at this thing to make it better?” Fuyuhiko said. “Just take the bribe you shitty rabbit.”

Hajime lit up with laughter, and Fuyuhiko turned to him looking halfway between annoyed and pleased like he wasn’t sure how he felt about that laugh yet. Their faces were inches apart, and Hajime found himself leaning in.

“AH!”

Fuyuhiko and Hajime jumped as Mikan all but fell through the door.

“I’m so sorry I’m so sorry!” She cried. “I hope you weren’t stuck too long, it’s all my fault!”

“Really, it’s okay,” Hajime reassured her.

“You can use me as your punching bag as an apology,” she whimpered, distressing Hajime further.

“No need for that, can you just get me some water so I can take these?” Fuyuhiko said, shaking the painkiller bottle. Hajime felt the same butterflies he’d felt earlier seeing that Fuyuhiko was going to accept his help.

“Of course!” Mikan said, a bit cheered up. She led Fuyuhiko away, leaving Hajime to grab the gloves and run a thoughtful finger over his bottom lip.

#fic #kuzuhina #sdr2 #hajime hinata #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #danganronpa

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kpop-pick-me-up · 6 years ago

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So, can I say something real quick about Kpop idols?

This has been a thought on my mind basically since I joined the Kpop community, and I know some people might react weird or not understand what I'm trying to say but that doesn't matter to me. Putting this out there does.

*ahem* NO KPOP IDOL IVE SEEN PEOPLE CALL CHUBBY IS ACTUALLY CHUBBY.*ahem*

Like for real. I see posts talking about how Suga's cheeks get chubbier on break, and how Haechan's cheeks have gotten chubbier, or "before" and "after" pictures of idols who have gone on a diet and people saying "I miss when they were chubby" like.... They never were and they aren't. This is just what they'd actually look like if they got a normal amount of sleep, ate like a normal human, and didn't dance for 4-12 hours a day. That's not chubby, that's how they'd naturally look.

Chubby, to me means that a person is slightly overweight, or that they're a healthy weight but naturally softer and can look more fuller. Which is all beautiful. And I'm aware this can be a culture difference because of how idols are expected to be thin and perfect but sometimes when I look at them I just think about how unhealthy some (not all) of them must be physically.

Because on a mini tangent: when someone eats so little amount of food for so long and is they are always in a caloric deficit (so let's say youre recommended amount to maintain your weight is 2000, but you constantly eat 1500, or 1200-1400 calories a day) their metabolism adapts so that it's natural state of burning to maintain IS 1500 or 1200-1400. So they'd HAVE to eat less to lose weight, or fix their metabolism by slowly increasing their food intake so their metabolism can adjust to a normal amount of food again. But to do that their weight would plateau or they'd even gain a little bit. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with an idol gaining weight or doing any of this, except for the fact that they'd be called "fat" by the media. Nobody actually seems to care about an idol's health. And imagine what calling them "chubby" does to them when it's just them eating normally. Why do you THINK idols always go on strict diets before a comeback? Because they know that if they eat normally people would know and call them chubby. And I'm not saying this offends them, but I know that I would feel so pressured and judged subconsciously to eat less and lose the "chubbiness" because the media must see it too if fans do.

And I know some idols don't care or even just say they don't care (but trust me, they probably do), and I know some of you guys don't mean to hurt their feelings and just mean to say it innocently, it still encourages this unhealthy mindset that all idols MUST be borderline unhealthy, and just BARELY a healthy weight or diet amount. This gives their employers a reason to make them do those crazy restricted diets (ice cube diet, or the IU diet for example) and force them to lose weight because they KNOW and SEE what you do as well, and can see when you comment on it.

To put this into a different perspective as well, as someone who's been struggling with an eating disorder, looking at really thin idols like Jimin, Suga, Haechan, etc who all weigh less than me and are taller than me and to see them called "chubby" kicked my mind into comparison mode and said "then I must be HUGE." Or "I won't ever officially be skinny or pretty until I weigh the same as them or less" because that's how a sick mind works. So not only does this infect the idols minds and encourage the bad mindset, but it can infect their fans minds to think that they aren't good enough.

I've never wanted to point fingers at this because I love it so much, but I can't be a fucking liar anymore and hide behind it because I want to get better, and I'm tired of believing that I'm too big, or that I'll always be chubby until I'm 90lbs like all the female Kpop idols. But sometimes the Kpop fandom can trigger my eating disorder. There, I said it. Fight me. Because you call thin idols chubby, and you implant this way of thinking that how they eat is okay, and that weighing 90lbs and eating 1200 calories a day is a lifestyle or that constantly restricting and not focusing on nutrients or what body type I am is how life works because IT ISNT. Some people may be that naturally, but the fact that some idols noticably change a little bit when they eat normally on breaks shows that how they are on stage isn't natural.

And to end this off as a disclaimer again, I know people don't mean to be triggering, and they don't think there's anything wrong in what they're doing (which I understand), but you also have to really take a second to think about what you're saying a little bit. Chubby is a word that is either black or white to people. Either they think it's cute, or they think it's an insult. That all depends on culture and self esteem and blah blah blah. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being chubby, or that it's a bad thing to be because it is definitely NOT and I think everyone is beautiful how they're meant to be. So of you're 90lbs or 140, or 180, or 200+ or anything in between naturally you're all still beautiful and have your own necessary standards to consume to be healthy that will be different from everyone else. However, that is where the issue lies. Because most idols weren't born as thin as they are, they are usually forced and conditioned to be that way. But to help you decide whether it's okay to make these comments, ask yourself this when you're about to call an idol chubby:

1: am I calling them chubby because they're "eating well" (a normal diet) and they've started filling out?

2:Would I like it if someone I loved, respected or whom I cared about their opinion called me "chubby" after finally getting off of a restricted diet and just eating healthy but normal amounts of food?

3: If I was a Kpop media outlet and saw that they gained weight, what would I write? (Really put yourself in their shoes and be honest.)

4: Am I calling them chubby cheeks because they're just puffing them out and being cute? (Then okay, it's fine)

5: when I say this, are they really chubby? Or has my mind been twisted to think they are just like their critics?

And I know that may seem extreme, but that's how it is. You all preach about how self love should be more important in the "toxic" Kpop industry but still subconsciously encourage its toxic behavior. So instead of comments like "omg your cheeks are so chubby now! <3" or "awwww look at his tummy he gained!" Say: "Omg, you look so healthy! ", " You've been looking extra cute recently 😍" and stuff like that. Because it still gets the point across that you like seeing them healthier, but it doesn't use possibly triggering words like chubby or thick because they are neither.

Anyways that's my mini rant. I don't mean to trigger people, or point fingers because I used to do it too. But I think we all need to collectively recognize this as part of the issue, and say, "huh, maybe that could hurt their feelings a little but EVEN IF I DONT MEAN TO, OR ITS NORMAL WHERE IM FROM TO SAY AS A COMPLIMENT"

Because as one of my favorite quotes puts it in words perfectly "You don't get to decide whether you hurt someone or not." So yes, people like me are sensitive, and yes, it may not seem like a big deal to you. But honestly I've sat by and respected all of your guy's opinions and words for a while now, and I think it's now okay for me to say "hey, this kind of bugs me a bit." Without being looked at as weird or annoying.

So in the nicest way possible, say what you want, but I'm not taking this down. I've made myself clear and as understanding as possible. But people like me who have an eating disorder, had one in the past, or are on the road to developing one, or someone who is about to start one of the insane Kpop diets, needs to know that this isn't normal. And they shouldn't compare themselves to the unhealthy kpop standards like it did.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant.

~DeepSheep

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disso-queen · 5 years ago

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Hope you all are doing okay in this continued weird time. We’re still sheltered in place and working from home, I think our last day in office was March 17. My county is I think officially in phase two? I’ll be honest, I don’t know what it means. It might be socially irresponsible of me and inherently privileged, but I’ve pretty much avoided all news except for the local neighborhood groups. I make sure I’m wearing a mask and maintaining distance, but I just can’t handle everything else right now. Having to isolate that soon after such a big loss has been difficult. But still trying to be productive.

Started to clear my yard of weeds. The property is a quarter acre.

Gave up doing the yard after I worked probably a total of 12 hours and only managed to clear a couple of spots.

Hired two guys my godfather highly recommended. They came yesterday and cleared the whole front yard in 4.5 hours, proving the value of skilled labor.

They said they’ll bill me when the whole yard is done. They come back next week with heavier tools to clear the backyard. It’s not a beauty job, but that isn’t what I needed. I needed skill and muscle to come in and fckn level the monster weeds.

I didn’t realize how much anxiety the yard was giving me until the guys left yesterday and I saw the front yard leveled, it felt like such a weight off.

One of the yard guys is interested both in my old dirtbike and my dad’s Mazda Miata. I offered a good price on both because he’s a good guy. He wanted the grill too, I told him he can have it if he hauls it off. Fingers crossed he wants all three.

Once the weeds are cleared I can go in and try to make it look pretty, maybe plant some things. I’ll also get the fence guys back to rebuild the back fence finally. One of the fence guys wants the tile sitting in my front yard, so that is more crap to a good home.

I think we might start taking down the plastic car tent in the front as well that my dad used as a shop, which means all that will be left in the front yard are some large toolboxes, the HD bike trailer, and the cab-over camper. I’ll be cleaning the camper soon to get it ready to sell.

I’m lucky that I still have a job and still have my benefits. I’m not getting paid as much because my billables aren’t as high, but my expenses are lower so who can complain. I haven’t had to dip in to savings yet, but I will likely have to for the yard work and the fence. It’s worth it.

Despite having income, I think financial anxiety is just here to stay, particularly during these uncertain times.

Attempted waxing my face and legs. I still have both of my eyebrows, so I’ll count it as a success. I’ll use my esthetician when her business is open again, but I might continue waxing my legs instead of shaving. I refuse to cut my own hair, it can wait.

I’ve been starting to learn how to cook, it’s about time.

Pup is loving this, we’re going to start working on his leash training because he is like flying a kite in a hurricane, a 90lb kite.

Trying to do more workouts and practice more mindfulness. I’m mindful I’m not good at it.

I was supposed to take the bar last July, but Dad died days before it, ended up dipping out of February because I could not get my head on straight, trying to figure out what is happening for the September bar.

Need to see if I can move the permit process along at all with this house now.

#cara speaks #the swamp witch lives

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fatghostboi · 5 years ago

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Day 1: uhh so my scales are fucked I think but cw: 143.4 (I think it's mainly water weight lmao) and I wanna be 100lbs maybe 90lbs

Day 2: 5'3, I would wanna be a bit taller maybe at least 5'5 or 5'6 hhh

Day 3:

I want their legs. My legs have always been so big and I'm jealous. I don't want my legs to look femme fuck.

Day 4: the clothes I do like on me won't fit, or I'll have more curves. I know ill look more curvy, but I can hide that more I think. Or I'll just gain it all again fuck

Day 5: I want to lose weight to be good enough, for people to look at me and think I finally look good or even that maybe I did have a problem when they all turned me down. To look masculine enough and to have masculine features. To finally be good looking rather than the fat trans friend who looks too femme because of their fucking baby face with chub.

Day 6: I do and it's usually because I'm in a destructive headspace. I try not to often but yeah I do.

Day 7: no they don't. Mums never noticed, and the one time she did she took me to the doctors for depression thinking nothing of the food, then goes ahead and tells me I'm not depressed that I just get down sometimes when all the signs are there lmao.

Day 8: walk. My disabled ass cannot really work out and really shouldn't walk as much as i do when I do but my Ed can't help it, I love seeing the numbers on my watch go up and up.

Day 9: yes all the time. As a kid I was obese and overweight and I used to get called so many things. One thing that stuck with me was obese monkey. Good Times. Oh and the fact my ex said I run over my dog with my tree trunk legs... Ya know a few days after my dog just got killed but sure.

Day 10: probably my social life. I've lost my social life due to physical and mental illness. Everyone wants to go out and eat and I just don't want to. But also cooking. I miss cooking good meals rather than looking at meals as just calories I shouldn't consume.

Day 11: I don't have a favourite oops they're more on Instagram

Day 12: egg, egg whites, rice, toast, wheetabix, porridge, veggie sausages, chicken nuggets sometimes, a shit ton of veg like the amount of brocoli I consume lmao. Snacks wise sometimes the odd biscuit, usually carrots, houmous or just nothing.

Day 13: mainly unhealthy but sometimed I try to do it healthily and get no results so I get pissed.

Day 14: 100-90 lbs and I honestly don't know. I've failed so far but I fucking want to so bad. My first big goal is getting down to 120lbs so

Day 15: I'm not but I try to be. I would definitely consider being vegetarian as going vegan would probably affect my chronic illness worse due to the lack of vitamins I would get. I'm very picky with food but I do love to eat vegan food when i can.

Day 16: I was about like 10 lmao

Day 17: I mean not diagnosed but probably lmao

Day 18: chocolate and noodles. I can't help myself i still eat them. The noodles I have are 269 cals per a packet and that's why I eat those ones gah

Day 19: about an hour ago? I had 2 biscuits with my coffee so I didn't binge today lmao

Day 20: AIT starts off easy, gets harder down the line. Never completed the whole thing but I have lost loads of weight from it before. Except this time? Idk like my body shows I have but scales say nah

Day 21: ew. So naturally I have very big hips, that's not fat that's bone sadly, so in men's jeans I'm a 30waist in females I'm a size 10. Mens tops I'm a M if I want it baggy or it's a tight fit cause S makes me feel gross in tight fit. But if I want it to look decent I'm a S and I would fit into an XS if my shoulders weren't so broad but I'm not complaining on that lmao

Day 22: 122lbs. I gained this time around because of the medication I was put on, I really want to be off it because I also don't wanna get pregnant. But it's also causing issues so I may be put on a different one soon I hope

Day 23: yes and no. All the trans guys that pass are usually very skinny so I thought I need to be to pass

Day 24: ugh. I can understand if someone is pro Ana to themseleves because uh that's an eating disorder lmao, but if you want to encourage others to starve themselves and be unhealthy? You're fucked up.

Day 25: I have a lot. I can't remember my first experience because it was so long ago but I have the odd memories of purging in fast food places after I was taken out to eat.

Day 26: being good enough and passing

Day 27: I'm okay being around it cause I usually have good self control, I like baking a lot too, and I'll usually eat one or two then leave it.

28: yess. So hoodies will look great on me

29: everything's beautiful on everyone else except for on me so.

30: I'm 17, trans, and a wreck. Also my stats are the same cause I did this in one day lmao

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manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years ago

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Gormless Ch. 5 - Try to kill my boss? Haha you kids are alright!

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it. Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

There’s a hot werewolf guy into Alexia called Channing and he’s a big jerk. Ivy is getting married to some rich slub, even though she’s in wub with Maccon’s servant Tunstell. Alexia just met a hot lesbian named LeFoux and wants to take her to visit her smart Vampire gay bestie Akeldama.

Chapter 5 – Try to kill my boss? Haha you kids are alright!

This chapter opens up with her seeing Lord Akeldama. Basically they start by inviting Madame LeFoux and just catching up. Turns out Akeldama has not seen the humanization phenomenon before even though he hella old, but his scouts discovered a military ship called the Spanker had people from the Kingair clan aboard who were humanized. We got similar info before, but there’s an implication that the humanization is traveling directly with the people of the Spanker. There’s the implication that it’s moving north, and it has to do with the dead alpha thing.

Something also of slight interest is that Akeldama tried to ~recruit~ Channing back when Channing was human. That Channing, so they say, used to be a charming sculptor and vampires and werewolves were fighting over him. That he went into the military/werewolfism cause it was more ~romantic.~ I think that’s all there just to put Channing back on the table as a love rival.

HE’S BAD RIGHT? BUT LIKE MAYBE NOT ALL BAD?

On one hand they’re fleshing him out. On another hand it reeks of Marty-Stuing and it is not convincing me he deserves another chance.

Well what would make him desirable to you Faps? Put him in an oversized sweater, with glasses, and he’s petting a cat?

Okay okay! My kink is valid and so is the kink for a man-child meathead okay. I just wish my kink was more main-stream gosh.

So Madam LeFoux shows up and there is a brief bit of sassing between Akledama and her before Akeldama has to show off his aethographor. They spend a lot of fucking time on this. I guess this is for the folks into the steampunk aspect but like…I don’t really understand this appeal. It basically boil down to it’s a telegraph machine but it prints letters onto metal with caustic chemicals. It has to be manned at all times, and some old ones need specific ~ Crystalline valve frequensors~ to communicate to one another but Akeldama’s LATEST EDITION doesn’t need it. I am a history nerd and reading about old machines is fascinating because you get to see how the machines have impacted the culture. I also like reading about Sci-Fi technology because either it’s cool to see what people decades ago thought was going to happen, or speculative future possibilities. In theory speculative fiction about an alternate universe’s history could be cool but this machine is just not that far removed from a telegraph machine and sounds like it’s a pain in the ass. But perhaps I’m just so spoiled by the fact that I could get a snapchat of a strange person’s butthole from Australia instantaneously without having to operate a machine the size of a room 24/7. You have not truly enjoyed a stranger from down under’s…down under until you’ve seen it with the leopard ear snapchat filter!

Anyway he gives Alexia a ~ Crystalline valve frequensor~ with his frequency just in case. She puts it in a pocket on her umbrella and it’s like DAMN GIRL WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THE FACT THE THING HAS POCKETS? THAT’S WAY COOLER! (Even if impractical for regular umbrellas.)

The three of them part ways, Alexia is planning on taking a dirigible to Scotland in order to face this humanization and save her dumb-fuck husband.

Here we switch point of views to look through Lyall’s eyes. He’s tailing Alexia for reasons and some vampires are sneaking around Lord Akeldama’s place while she was visiting. The vamps almost attack Alexia but Lyall stops them with some pow pow action. The vampires say they were just going to ~test~ Alexia and Lyall is just like haha that’s fine, go home you kids! Also Alexia did not notice any of this.

I mean I’m kinda glad we had a bit o’ action but this was dumb. Lyall just lets these two jackoffs go after they tried to maybe kill/kidnap/whatever his master’s wife. Also he doesn’t tell Alexia she was nearly attacked? Cause drama later on I guess? Fuck this writing! I take back the nice things I said about Lyall! Lyall instead just argues that Alexia shouldn’t go to Scotland. Sure Maccon relies heavily on his superpowers for everything, but not letting him know his powers are going to be suddenly taken away by a mysterious force which maybe out of his blood will definitely be fine. I guess because it’s now Lyall’s policy to make sure everybody around him, whom he attempts to protect with his life, is unaware of the danger around them. Cool, cool.

At least this time when Alexia badgers somebody about something she’s going to do, she’s right that it makes no sense why she shouldn’t. However she unwittingly has to take along a merry batch of fuckers. You’ll hear about them in a bit.

We have a big old scene where Alexia’s mother shows up and is like, “YOUR ONE SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED THE OTHER SISTER IS SO WRACKED WITH JEALOUSY SHE’S MAKING EVERYONE MISERABLE! YOU TAKE HER!”

Oh and there’s this inconsistent writing here where Alexia’s mother is passive aggressively racist toward werewolves and Scots. Yet at the same time there are lines about how pleased Alexia’s mother is that she married a Scottish werewolf. There’s the direct line, “It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.” I think what the author is trying to say is that Alexia’s mom was happy that Alexia married a rich and powerful man, and LOOKS PAST the fact that he’s a werewolf but still kinda hates werewolves. However they don’t bring up that her mom is impressed with all her money and power. They just keep saying WEREWOLF THIS and WEREWOLF THAT! They made it unnecessarily muddled here and it’s confusing, annoying, and could have been easily fixed.

In Alexia mother’s defense the only thing I’ve seen Alexia do that’s pleased me, is hit that douche werewolf over the head a bunch.

So of course, Alexia’s mother won’t take no for an answer when it comes to her sister. Therefore Alexia is saddled with generic shallow, petty, bitch blonde sister #2. Felicity, the blonde in question, agreed to this, despite hating her sister cause she knew her sister would be surrounded by hunky werewolves. SHE GOTTA GET A HUSBAND NOW TOO! IT’S ALL US LADY FOLKS CARE ABOUT! Due to English custom you can’t just leave your sister in your castle to have wild gangbangs with werewolves all day and night. But I mean, considering the amount of misogyny the 3rd in command is packing? Not leaving her alone there is probably a good idea. (Also I will puke blood if Felicity and Channing become an item.)

Ivy shows up at this time as well cause I mean…Ivy has always been sexually drawn to inconvenient timing. Don’t kink-shame her! When Ivy hears that Tunstell will be going on the Dirigible, she pouts until Alexia just let’s her go along too, cause HAHA WHY NOT AT THIS POINT!?

(A gif of Hillary Clinton laughing and throwing her hands up.)

So she’s taking Angelique (to dress her), Felicity (to be obnoxious in the bitchy way), Ivy (to be obnoxious in the ditsy way), and Tunstell (cause this 90lb actor will protect them all.)

OH BOY WE GOT A SMORGSEBORG OF IMPENDING WACKINESS TO CONTEND WITH! IS THAT EXCITEMENT I HEAR OR THE CRACKING OF MY OWN GRINDING TEETH!?

Say something nice Faps:

Dang I’m having a hard time saying nice things here that aren’t simply just, “Well at least X didn’t happen!”

She uhhh tried to steampunk?

I get a masochistic tickle when Alexia’s family is around. I dislike Alexia so I like seeing her insulted, but the cartoonish villainy of her family is hilarious to me. It’s just so spot-on, the archetypal “BASIC SHALLOW BLONDE BITCH-SLUT TO MAKE PROTAG LOOK BETTER THAN ALL OTHER GIRLS!” However I have yet to see an author fail so spectacularly at differentiating the evil girls from the protag. “I can’t believe all my family cares about is how they look, their social standing, and men!” Huffs Alexia, as she ponders her own romantic dalliances to the king of the Universe, in her new blue carriage dress, which has SHOOK the London fashion world to its VERY CORE!

#gormless #changless #riffing

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scottishhellhound · 6 years ago

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Okay, but what would make this 10x funnier is if it's Dick as himself that does it, not Robin. Dick Grayson, newly orphaned, ward of Bruce Wayne, missing home like he just lost a limb.

Dick's been in Gotham long enough now to have heard about the various Rogues that terrorize the city, knows exactly who the Joker is. So he's rightly terrified when Joker and his goons bust into the bank and take everyone hostage.

He's tucked into Bruce's side, trying to go unnoticed, watching everything, as the goons round everyone to one side of the bank, and then Joker opens his mouth, starts in with his latest schtick.

And Dick goes rigid. This...this guy is going around, claiming to be the "Clown Prince of Gotham (TM) " and that's the best he can come up with?

His get-up is decent, but those are the only points he's getting.

His timing? Terrible. He pauses too long between beats.

His jokes? Lackluster. They lack flare. Originality.

Where's the showmanship? The Pizzazz!?

He's bringing shame to the game!

And before he can help it, before he can register what a terrible idea it is, Dick blurts out, "Are you kidding me?"

Everything stops. He feels Bruce's finger's clamp down on his shoulder. A warning. Too late. Everyone, everyone, turns to look at this tiny kid who probably just signed his own death certificate.

Joker, torn between amusement at the kids audacity, and anger at being interrupted, lets out a surprised, "What?"

And Dick, deciding, at this point, he really has nothing left to lose, missing home, his parents, his friends, takes a breath, and let's him have it.

He lists in alphabetical order it exactly where Joker's act is wrong, why he's a terrible clown, and maybe he should think of another career choice. 'Cause buddy, I know clowns, and they'd weep if they could see what you've turned their craft into.

And Bruce, is silently laughing as he watches his new ward, this 9 year old kid, who's 90lbs soaking wet, just RIP into one of Gotham's most notorious Rouge's. Trying to hide his pride, because really the Joker is a terrible clown, and his tiny, bouncy, bendy kid can say it so much better than the Bat ever could.

Dick's tirade lasts long enough for the GCPD to show up and arrest everyone, no shots fired, or lives lost.

you know what i don’t see enough of? circus kid dick grayson critiquing the joker because he’s a bad clown. not like, bad, and also a clown. but bad at being a clown. i want to see dick grayson taking the existence of this horrible clown very personally as a matter of professional pride. he has known clowns, and you, sir, are no clown. the joker is an insult to the legacy of emmett kelly and this shall not stand.

#batfam #dick grayson #joker #omg #I'm cackling #dick headcanon

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vsgquiterightly · 6 years ago

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Day 1.

I’m hungry. I knew this would happen, but I’m surprised at how quickly it transpired. It’s only been a few hours, but I’m ready to eat almost anything. I know this is going to be a big adjustment, going from thousands of calories a day (well, more like 1500-1700, but you know), to something closer to 700 is a big adjustment physically, but it’s also an adjustment mentally. I don’t have food to be my crutch anymore. That time is officially over. Food is now fuel and fuel alone, and it’ll take a while until I feel okay about it. I’ve always been an emotional eater. I’ve always been a binge eater. I can’t remember ever having a healthy relationship with food, but that’s part of what this is supposed to help with. It’s a detox period. I’m getting off of the processed sugars and processed foods, and graduating to a better, healthier diet of whole foods—lean meats, vegetables, etc. I am really excited about the idea of teaching my kids to eat real food, not junk. To fuel their bodies with something good. I want that for them someday. I want their sugars to be from fruit and maybe some honey. I want their grains to be whole, nutritious, and enriching.

Let me give you some history.

I can recount every significant weight gain in my entire life. I can tell you exactly how I got to this point. When I was a child, I was forced to clean my plate at every meal. I was fed fatty, southern cooking with whole milk, and forced to eat every last bite put on my plate. My grandparents always asked if I wanted more, and I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. My parents were divorced when I was really young. My mother was a single mother, and while it wasn’t necessarily her fault, we did often subsist on fast food. I was 125lbs in 3rd grade. That’s fatter than 90lb Eric Cartman, by the way. By the end of sixth grade, I weighed 185lbs. I was fat. Most of that was just my environment and poor eating habits. I never went without, and for that I’m lucky, and we made things work as well as we could.

When I was 13, my mother joined WeightWatchers with me, with my doctor’s approval. Together we each lost 50lbs through hard work, diet, and exercise. I reached a low of 132lbs, with a goal weight of 135. My mother reached a low of 117lbs, with a goal weight of 135. My mother still maintains below her goal weight, though she doesn’t weigh herself much anymore. She did a great job. I gained… but I can explain! I think it’s incredible that I can point out everything that happened in my life to make me the way I am now.

I kept the weight off for two years, gaining back a total of 10 lbs at the beginning of my journey, and then staying at 142 for the rest of the time. My body just didn’t like being below 142. I would lose to 139, gain to 145, lose to 142. I was stable there. I was happy there. Then life happened.

I went to visit my dad for a summer, a three-week trip. There was nothing for me to eat at his house. He refused to buy me the things I was used to eating (low fat yogurt, skim milk, ‘light’ bread, to name a few things), and force-fed me this heavy southern cooking. I used to throw up a lot. It was just too heavy for my body to handle. He thought I was bulimic, and told my mother this, and therefore shoveled extra food in my face. I remember one night I tried to go to bed without dinner because I wasn’t hungry. I locked my door and he beat on it for over an hour until I finally came down and ate spaghetti. After this three weeks, I came home up 10lbs. Not a big gain, but devastating to me. I shared my upset feelings with my girlfriend at the time, who agreed that I was a fatass. That only made things worse for me. I always worried about my weight, even at 142, I just wanted to be at 125. I thought I was super fat, and she made it worse.

So, I went into a depression. I thought the weight would just come off when I started eating normally, but that wasn’t the case. Then I got a job at an ice cream place near my house. They offered a free meal during my shift, and I worked every day…. So every day I was eating diner food. I gained another 20lbs that summer, up to 170. Throughout the next year of being a fatass, I gained another 10 lbs, until I was maintaining at 185 again. At this point I thought I was a failure.

I played two varsity sports in high school, something I was very proud of. I swam and played water polo. I was very slow, the slowest on the team, but I managed every practice and never gave up. Despite all this working out, I didn’t lose any weight. I probably just increased my intake accordingly. I remember thinking I was a whale in high school, but looking back at photos, I looked just like everyone else. I could remember my ex-girlfriend telling me how fat I had gotten, though, so I hated myself.

I went to college after that, and gained the freshman 20. That put me at 200lbs even. This was a disaster to me. I had once said I would sooner hack off limbs than be at 200lbs, but here I was, with all my limbs, at 200lbs. I was a recluse my freshman year of college, and even though I still didn’t look all that bad, I was definitely angsting over my weight. I wasn’t doing anything about it, though.

I had always been a binge eater, but now free to do so in private whenever I wanted, I began binging almost daily. I would shove exorbitant amounts of food in my face, and cry as I did it. I would think about how I deserved to stay fat forever and feed myself until it hurt. I never purged. I wasn’t bulimic. I didn’t think this was an eating disorder at the time, just me being a pig. Now I know this was a serious issue, and I should have gotten help then, but I didn’t.

My sophomore year, I discovered energy drinks and I never slept. I never had to sleep. I felt awesome all the time, for some strange unknown reason. I was still fat, but I no-longer cared. I thought I looked like the bomb dot com. Unfortunately, I also began having delusions of grandeur—I remember thinking aliens were going to abduct me, that cops followed me around, that everyone was out to get me., I was having auditory and visual hallucinations. I had voices in my head, people living there telling me what to say, think, feel, and do. It was terrifying, so I finally reached out to the school’s counselling center. They referred me to a psychiatrist, but I never went. I was afraid, based on my symptoms, that I would be diagnosed as schizophrenic…. and at the time, I might have been. During this time, I gained another 30lbs.

Finally, when the symptoms began to subside, I realized I needed to do something about my weight. Unfortunately for me, I was very depressed, and it was difficult for me to do anything other than school, which I could barely handle. I joined WeightWatchers again. I lost the same 20 pounds twice, then finally lost 30. I was down to 200 again by the time I graduated.

Without school to motivate me, my depression hit an all-time low. I remember not feeling a desire to do anything except play McDonald’s monopoly. I didn’t even want the food. I just wanted to peel and win. I was obsessed with winning, but of course I was eating a lot of McDonalds. I gained 50 lbs in a year!

Finally, I went to the doctor. They referred me to a psychiatrist and I finally went. I was diagnosed as Bipolar, and suddenly everything made sense. I started taking medication, and I finally felt a little better. I tried to lose the same 20 lbs again, and gained it back with some extra. I finally reached my high weight, an all-time high of 270lbs. I knew it was time to do something different.

WeightWatchers had worked for me in the past. It’s my opinion that WW is the best diet program out there. It’s not a diet. It’s a live-it. It’s a lifestyle. If you live that lifestyle, you lose the weight. 100% of the time, it has worked for me, but 100% of the time, I have fallen off the wagon. It was then that I thought of Weight loss Surgery for the first time. I originally dismissed it as not for me, too invasive, too scary… but the more I struggled, the more I realized what a good thing it could be for me. A tool in my arsenal to help me succeed. That’s why I chose to do it. I really need help. I’m a food addict. I’m a binge eater. I’m an emotional eater—and I’m battling the effects of too-long-undiagnosed bipolar disorder and BED. I’m stable now. I’m in a healthier mindset, and I’m ready to take the plunge. I have a strong support system at home, where I am lucky enough to have my food cooked and prepped for me so all I need to do is eat it. Eat the right things and succeed. I will get small again. I will get there.

This time, though, I have some perspective. My goal weight is 150. Anything below 200 is great, anything below 150 is goal. At 142, I will not think I’m a whale. I will be statistically below average, even if my BMI still says that I’m at the upper end of average.

I think that’s enough rambling for today. Take this as what it is.

Height: 5’3” HW: 270 CW: 259.4 as of 9/5 GW: 150

#personal #vsg #weight loss surgery #wls #weight loss #bipolar disorder #depression #binge eating disorder #BED #blog #sob story

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journeyback2normal-blog · 7 years ago

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At what point do you give up? I’m not talking about offing myself or anything, but at what point is enough enough?

For the past 10 years my life, the life of my parents, my siblings, my friends, everyone really has been revolving around my migraines. (and yes, I am that selfish to think that all their lives revolved around me)

“we can’t go there, it will give Joey a migraine”

“We have to leave, Joey is getting a migraine”

“Does anyone have any pills, Joey has a migraine”

“We have to find a different player, Joey has a migraine”

“We have to get a substitute teacher, Joey has a migraine”

“Joey used to be so pretty, but now she has migraines”

(Okay, so maybe that last one was a little made up)

But at what point can life be about life? Migraines have changed everything about my life. Originally I wanted to be a musician, but you can’t be a professional oboe player (don’t judge) if the sound of the instrument hurts your head. Then I wanted to be a teacher, but it’s hard to keep a job when you are constantly out sick because of migraines. Then I became a paralegal, and again – its hard to keep a job when you are out sick all the time.

I have done everything my doctors have asked. I take their pills (as you can see from my “feature picture, todays pills,” I’ve changed my diet, I’ve done injections, nerve blocks, I even have a machine that electrocutes my brain for 20 min at a time for migraines… and still they kept coming back.

Having migraines isolated me. I stopped seeing friends, I stopped going to family dinners, I spent more time alone then I did with anyone else. Then I spoke to a cousin of mine who is a DoTERRA rep, and she recommended a few oils. Now, I’ve always joked around that I would go to a wizard, if they could help me with my migraines and I did. I found my wizard through essential oils (along with all natural soap, shampoo, conditioner… basically anything that goes on my body is chemical free) and suddenly my migraines weren’t ruling my life anymore. So you would think I would be jumping up and down for joy… but I wasn’t.

Because of the time I had spent isolating myself when I had my migraines, I found I suddenly didn’t know what to do anymore. First the doctors called it Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but come on… I’m a millennial… which one of us doesn’t have that? Then they added Panic Disorder because the thought of leaving the house, of seeing people, of doing anything other than stay in my room (or sometimes even closet) gave me such panic attacks I would sometimes have to be sedated.

A few years and jobs ago I had my first moment where I thought “Maybe I need real help” I was driving from my house to my parents (about maybe a 40 min drive) and I remember getting in the car at my house, and I remember getting off the elevator at my parents condo – but I couldn’t remember anything in between. I knocked on the door and my niece answered and she right away knew something was wrong and I said “Hi Gabs, everything is okay, but I need you to go get buby for me, because I’m about to start crying and I don’t know why. Can you go tell buby that?” (Buby is a jewish word for grandmother… while she’s my mom, my niece would only know her as Buby) after that, it seemed like my life just went further and further down hill.

At my last therapy session I was told that I still had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (of course) along with Social Anxiety disorder (which would be my fear of being around anyone) and Major Depressive Disorder (which would be my inability to regulate my emotions) and first I thought “yes… there is a name for what I have. Maybe I can fix it” which is of course through new drugs (the pretty pink one in the second section) but then I started thinking, why?

Why do I have all these disorders? Why do I have to take all the pills (oh I know why i have to take the pills… I once stopped cold turkey and it was a terrible plan) but why can’t I just be healthy? Mind, body and soul? And I guess thats what I’m asking – at what point do I give up trying and realize that this is my new norm? Getting exhausted after going to two stores and getting dressed is my new norm. Getting mad at MY buby (whos 92) for not understanding the depression (even though she went through the holocaust, and so if anyone understands depression, it’s probably her), needing to take 3-5 hour naps throughout the day, having a random Etsy store (which launched today and has made zero dollars) as my source of income, when do I allow that to be the norm instead of my dream?

My dream of having a job, of getting married in a beautiful white dress, my dream of puppies and babies, and living as close to happily ever after as I can… when do I give up on that dream.

I have two other things to say… one slightly unrelated, the other very unrelated.

I was going through my old photographs recently and I thought I would share what I consider to be my before/during/after pictures.

The first photo was probably about 3 years before I started getting migraines. I was happy, skinny, healthy, and if I remember correctly, holding my friends hat for ransom. Because I had lots of friends, and I was a very social person and was heading to a party.

The second photo was taken about 2 years into my migraines. I was at Carnegie Hall in NYC fulfilling my life’s goal of performing there. Migraines hadn’t yet taken over my life. I don’t even think I had a neurologist yet at that point. I still had hope,

The their photo was taken about 2 weeks ago. I’m about 90lbs heaver than the first photo, I’m barely smiling, and my hair looks like I just woke up. This picture was taken at 4pm. I was heading to a job interview (clearly didn’t get it) and I look somewhat defeated.

While I was going through the pictures I was in shock of how you could so clearly see the difference based on where I was/am in the health stage of my life. Anyone else have B/D/A or similar photos they want to share, I’d be interested in seeing the difference.

The second thing is very unrelated. But I opened an Etsy store. If I could figure out how to share the link with you I would but its called “Byebyemigraine” currently we only ship to Canada, but if any of you non-canuks are interested, give me a shout and I’m sure we could work something out.

Anyways – today I celebrate my 11 year anniversary with my boyfriend. I should be thinking exciting things like “maybe he’ll propose” (He won’t) or thoughts like that. Instead all I can think about is taking a nap, and never waking up, because as much as I used to love the world and being a part of it… I’m starting to get tired of trying all the tie

Giving up... #panic #givingup #migraine #depression #medication #normal #invisibleillness #disorder #panic #socialanxiety #GeneralAnxiety #unemployed At what point do you give up? I'm not talking about offing myself or anything, but at what point is enough enough?

#depression #disorders #Etsy #giving up #invisible illness #medication #neurologist #Panic #pills #rant #therapy

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aquarianlights · 8 years ago

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So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want my cousin to resolve to starving because of a youtuber she idolizes. she's far from fat, but she is a lil bit chunky and I've noticed it really bothers her. I don't know how to help her, cause I think she's been influenced by Eugenia (and possibly other pro Ana people) to starve and it worries me, cause my aunt doesn't really think much of it and I don't know how to help her before it actually gets out of control.

The only way you can really help people like me who are anorexic or just desire to start starving themselves like that is to just be there for them. There’s really not a lot you can do. You can help by bringing her her favourite foods when she hasn’t eaten in a while if you’re close enough to her to do that. Just think “What food will be irresistible if I bring it home to her?” That’s how my mom got me to eat when I had starved myself down to 90lbs. I’m very sorry that she looks up to someone so awful. Therapy helps, as well. If you could get her into therapy, that would be a way to help. Professionals can help a lot more than anyone else can. But, really, all you can do is be there for her and say positive things to her. . .compliment her. Say “You’re looking good today” or something similar that alludes to her appearance. A simple compliment like that can go a long way for someone who is anorexic. Boost her self esteem with compliments and being there for her if she needs someone to talk to. Don’t ever say anything negative about her appearance or weight. And if she starts losing weight via starving, don’t say things like “Wow you look so skinny” or “Congratulations on your weight loss”. Those kind of comments may seem like a compliment, but to an anorexic person, that’s basically the same thing as saying “I hope you keep starving yourself” and basically congratulating her for doing something completely unhealthy. You don’t want to do that. When I was down at 90lbs, I got so many comments and compliments on my weight loss that it literally almost killed me because it felt like no one wanted me as an overweight or healthy weight person. It felt like I finally knew what all my “friends” and “loved ones” were thinking of me when I was 120lbs before I got down to 90lbs. It made me want to starve even more. And every time someone compliments me when I lose weight, I get very triggered on the inside but secretly love it, as well, which makes the starving get severe because I want more praise. It’s like pavlovian conditioning. Praise her and she’s going to be more likely to starve for longer periods and will grow up starving herself.

My entire family has anorexic mindsets. Even my grandmother does. Albeit they don’t starve themselves, they are all obsessed with weight and losing weight. My mom especially. So I get lots of compliments and praise when I lose weight and it makes me feel so fucking awful about myself that it causes me to get self harm and suicidal urges. Because if I’m getting complimented for losing weight, then what could these people have possibly thought about me when I was a higher weight? It’s toxic to get caught up in the compliments. Please just don’t ever compliment her on losing weight. And don’t act like you’re happy when she loses it unless she has done it through a healthy diet and exercise.

Maybe offer to go exercise with her? That could really help. I know I feel ridiculous working out on my own; I need someone to work out with me otherwise I lose confidence in what I am doing and I won’t be able to get out of bed to do it due to how badly I feel about my body. I also suggest finding a way to talk her out of watching this toxic youtuber. No one needs toxic vibes in their life and that’s just one more toxic thing for her to get into. Maybe introduce her to some REAL idols. Emma Watson is a good person to obsess over, as an example. Focus on positive traits in people and find a good role model for her and introduce her to the person’s work.

Also, sit down with her and talk with her about this. Don’t just leave your worries inside you. Actually talk to her (giving her compliments along the way) and make sure she understands how it’s affecting you and show her that she’s important to you and that you love her just the way she is and that a lot of people are going to love her just the way she is. Try to illustrate that there’s nothing wrong with the body she has and that she’s beautiful the way she is.

This may all fall on deaf ears, though. Sometimes the only thing that works with anorexic people is time. For me, personally, it didn’t matter how many people cared about me and were worried about me. I didn’t think it truly affected anyone but myself. Try to also illustrate that it will affect all the people around her if she goes down this path and that she will cause everyone in her life a lot of pain. Don’t try to make her feel guilty or anything. . .just calmly explain how anorexia can destroy relationships. But like I was saying, I didn’t stop or want to stop or even try to stop until I reached where I am now (at the age of 25).

I used to eat paper instead of food when I was very little because I was under the impression that you had to eat something to survive but I knew even then that food made you fat, so I just ate paper instead. This was in elementary school. It wasn’t until I ended up very sick and in the hospital that they sent me to an eating disorder clinic and I overheard them telling my parents that there was something wrong with me. I thought they meant physically at the time, so I remember going up to them to tell them that my tummy didn’t hurt and I didn’t have a cold, so “can I go home now?” They tried to explain to me that I was having psychological problems but I didn’t understand at that age. I developed anorexia due to my parents always commenting on my weight and the things I was eating. That’s why it manifested at such an early age because I had to be “the perfect child” and “no child who is fat can be perfect” according to my parents. All I wanted was to please my parents and be the perfect child they wanted so I just ate paper in place of meals for the longest time and continued getting very sick from it. I was rewarded by my family when I lost weight coz they were so proud of me (again, still in elementary school) so I got it into my head that I needed to keep losing weight in order to be praised. Your cousin doesn’t need that kind of anguish in her life so you need to talk to her about this and be open with your feelings. But, again, it might just take time. Years, maybe. Just be sure to be there for her and completely understanding during this rough period in her life.

But remember. . .you can’t really get help unless you want it. As long as she doesn’t want to be helped, she’s not going to get help. Even from a professional. I was put into mandatory therapy when I was 18 following a trip to my first psych ward. The therapy didn’t help one bit, despite my therapist being an excellent practitioner, merely because I didn’t actually want help. Same thing for ana. If your cousin doesn’t want help, there’s no way to force it on her. But you can let her know what she’s in store for if she starts starving. Look up the side effects of starving and show them to her. Make sure she understands what she’s getting herself into. You literally can’t really go out and have fun with friends if you’re starving yourself because your body is so weak that all you can really do in life is lay in bed and cry because you haven’t been able to leave the house in such a long time. Especially because of the constipation and diarrhea. And when she does actually eat something, it will be so painful to her stomach that she won’t be able to get out of bed. If someone really wants to starve themselves, they better really like laying in bed and never seeing anyone because that’s the life of an anorexic person. They also better really like going to the hospital because there’s going to be a lot of complications along the way that wind you up hospitalized. And they’ve better like being locked up. . .because sooner or later, they’ll be locked in an ED clinic.

But anyways. . .I hope I helped in some way. I’m not sure if any of this is very helpful. :/ I really suggest you ask a professional. I’m merely someone with an eating disorder and I don’t hold any psych degrees or anything like that. Never even been through a single psych class. A professional can give you actual, good advice, unlike me. I really hope you can get through to her because ana is a very dark place to be in. Idk what would really help other than time because that’s the only thing that helped me.

But please note I’m still only just beginning my recovery from anorexia. I still starve to this day. I keep going back and forth being “just starve yourself. You’re not skinny enough.” to “just get it over with and eat the thing. You’ll feel better.”

Also there are medications you can put someone on to literally force them to eat because of the insatiable urges they invoke. And there are medications to help someone gain weight if her weight gets too low. They can be prescribed by a family doctor, even. . .no psych required. These medications are literally torture for an anorexic person like me and I would never use them, but if it gets bad with your cousin, there’s ways to help with medication.

Although the one thing I can say for sure is that therapy is a staple need for people with anorexia. Especially if it’s severe like mine is. And along with anorexia sometimes comes body dysmorphia so watch out for that, too.

Again, I really hope this helped somehow. I’m not too great at giving advice. I really hope everything goes okay and that your cousin will stop watching this toxic person on youtube.

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