#like okay look at my life choices
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nhura · 5 months ago
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Life is too short.
[ my art ] [ twitter ]
(detail + ratio rambling under the cut >_>)
This is one of those "I need a break between my ten other illustrations, let me do a lil sketchy sketch :D" that got too ambitious etc. etc. I never want to see the color red again" moments. BUT!
I really, really like to explore Ratio's viscerality and what's happening between his brain and his nerves, like... all of this thorough control and discipline and he still has to breathe and react to himself and his surroundings, you know? His accomplishments are insane for "his age"* but he's going to run out of "age" at some point! His ambitions are so far reaching that he's not worried about getting doctorate degree Number Nine! Rather, his efforts are pointed outwards, into the universe, for the universe. As you know.
Speaking of his degrees, I had a half thought a while ago that we've seen him with two types of laurel pins.
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One is him in his suuuuuper cute mother goose avatar (three leaves) and the other is the hat he's wearing everywhere else (eight leaves).
The thought was, "Aww, what if they're like commemorative pins counting the number of his degrees or whatever :)". Literally only because there's eight in the current one. This is kind of silly because then you'd HAVE to have an obscene number of degrees even for a normal person for your leaf pin to start looking like a laurel in the first place so scratch that BUT it's cute to think that it's still academic regalia. Something something I work in higher ed myself and it's like... it's like that.
The university goldsmith appreciates the job security.
I REMEMBER WHY I BROUGHT THAT UP. FOLLOWING the fantasy where more leaves = more knowledge!, in summary, even though Ratio seems to be a little beyond trying to get a prize every time he learns something now. But he does want to Keep Going. He can only Keep Going.
So I drew him in a bathtub full of an uncountable amount of gold leaves looking at the camera with an indescribable expression born from a hunger that will never be satiated lol DETAIL SHOT!
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*Referenced only vaguely in a comment in the context of astonishment, but it could have easily have been "woah he's accomplished so much for his age (young)" as it could be "woah he looks good for his age (older)". There is no canon age and even then, reconciling standardized system time versus planetary time versus "does his particular breed of lizard human have the same lifespan as tumblr user nhura?" is a losing game for everyone involved! Here's what I think: I think he started going grey in his early twenties, whatever that means in spacefantasygame, and that that's very cute on him.
Do YOU think Ratio would be tempted by immortality???? Or would he MIND HIS BUSINESS
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pikhachu · 27 days ago
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girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time
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voiider · 1 year ago
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fake psychic Tim but its just. its just psych. Jason dies and batman goes off the deep end so Tim (instead of becoming robin) starts going ham on the 'tips to the police' bc if the police can deal with the smaller crimes then Tim doesn't have to worry about batman killing a petty thief.
Except he's running himself into the ground and he starts getting sloppy bc he's giving the local police info, and bludhaven info (bc dick) AND probably giving Nightwing info when he can and someone catches him or he leaves a paper trail and then Officer Dick Grayson apprehends him and takes him in for questioning and Tim is like "you can't talk to me without my parents or a lawyer present, I'm a minor. And my parents are in Guatemala, so you better call my lawyer."
and Dick is like "kid you're not in trouble i just need to know who's giving you this information." Because there is NO WAY this kid isn't working with someone. Someone who is using a child to drop off information, which while noble to help the police, is putting this child in danger and tim is like, pretty offended actually. That it's being implied that he COULDN'T do this himself.
So he's like "im not working for anyone."
and Dick is like "you have to be getting the info from somewhere. I just wanna help."
and Tim is like AUGH ADULTS "I just- i figured it out on my own" and its CLEAR that Dick doesn't believe him which is, first off, super insulting, never meet your heroes, and second he shouldn't be talking anyway or admit that he goes out at night or Dick will do something stupid like try to make him stop. So he's like (rolling eyes) "I'm psychic. Are you happy? Can I have my phone call now?"
#batman#tim drake#Cue Dick ALMOST not buying it but he's like 'okay kid'#if you're psychic prove it.#And Tim is like oh he thought i was serious??? Uh#“you're favorite animal is a bat.“ And Dick looks at him confused but then sorta pales a little and is like ”... what.”#and tim is like “and you really like nighttime... walks.”#And Dick like turns off the recording and is like “kid what are you saying to me”#and Tim is like “I know you're Nightwing. The ... spirits told me.”#and honestly it's more believable that a 12 year old kid is psychic than that he figured out who Nightwing was on his own#ted talks#anyways lots of fun hijinks can ensue. Tim is technically a security rick and even though dick REALLY doesn't wanna talk to bruce#he should tell him about this... psychic child#Which can just be more questions and Tim answering them and is like#if i wasn't psychic how would i know this.#and Bruce.... doesn't know. So they have no choice but to believe him#psych tim au#also including: bruce being like “.... can you tell my son (jason) i love him?”#tim would actually be pretty good on the field with moments notice observations#he's been trained his whole life to read people at parties and know what they want from him and what they mean#regular people are MUCH easier to read than the elite who say everything backhanded and all have like poised masks of perfection#raye was telling me their psychic tim au and i was like 'ok but what if just psych'#catch us out here both writing separate fake psychic tim aus
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fictionadventurer · 6 months ago
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Friendly stranger in the library who has flagged me down and left his study cubicle to talk to me: How do you read so many books? I'm struggling to finish this one book and I want to work up to that many someday.
Me, with my armload full of children's and YA fantasy and novel-in-verse that I chose because they were short/easy-to-read/had lots of pictures: Um....
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m-kyunie · 2 years ago
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"The supposedly sealed memories of a miniature garden"
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kirkwallguy · 2 months ago
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my rook is so funny. extremely boring normal ex criminal who joined the wardens in his 30s to avoid going to prison. feels no alliance to his faction at all but is a little freak who enjoys taking orders so he does well. meets varric who instantly projects act 1 marcus onto him for no real reason other than they're both kind of assertive guys he has to work with and wants to fuck. has no idea who marcus is and assumes "hawke" is a recent ex varric isn't over. enters a weird situationship with him because hooking up with a weird older dwarf is more fun than being a warden. suddenly finds himself in charge at the lighthouse and starts acting like an old grizzled commander even though he and neve are like the same age. kind of wants to die so he doesn't care about anything that's happening but he'll see it through until the end because that's his Job.
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fiona-fififi · 2 months ago
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The way people sometimes refuse to acknowledge that writing choices that clearly go against established canon should mean something is endlessly frustrating to me. We don't have to agree on the interpretation, but these writing choices SHOULD mean something.
Otherwise, it's shitty writing.
#'the ga wouldn't even notice'#'the character doesn't seem to mind'#'you're reading too much into things'#no actually the fact that so many people think writing doesn't have to involve any stylistic or thematic choices to build meaning#and that writers just do stuff and as long as the character doesn't say anything it couldn't possibly mean anything is absurd#like y'all can pick up any classic piece of literature and think the writing just manifested on the page#and nothing is any deeper than some author saying what happened to a character like the character's just recounting real-life events#and that nothing really means anything except exactly what is said outright or some shit#but that's not how good writing works#in any form of media#and if the blatant contradictions are not being addressed then maybe the writing is shitty actually#and also even IF something wasn't intended to mean anything by the author directly doesn't mean that no meaningful connotations exist#for the audience like jesus christ y'all#i get enough of this bullshit from my students i don't need it in fandom too#let people analyze things and dig into them and spec and 'look too deeply' it's fun#and also it's okay if someone has a different interpretation than you and wants to talk about the possibilities behind that interpretation#or about other possible interpretations#it is not hurting you to see someone 'read too much into something' let people have their opinions#without trying to shut down everything you disagree with goddamn#anyway#911 discourse#fandom negativity#and actually i do think it's mostly shitty writing at this point#but that doesn't make it not mean anything that it's shitty writing actually#and it shouldn't be viewed as some awful character flaw for someone to point out why certain choices don't make sense#and to talk about what they would like to see addressed because of that
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ratatatastic · 4 months ago
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a man forced to suffer the skittle shenanigans of this team
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earl-grey-crow · 24 days ago
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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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moe-broey · 1 month ago
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Idk if I'm gonna be able to articulate this on the fly like first thing in the morning, but. I think my ENTIRE body of work is This: Examining how family ties, bonds or lack thereof, the good and bad AND ugly, seep into every facet of who we are and how we come to interact with others. How sometimes, a family tie (or again, a Lack of one), will sometimes bleed into how you act and treat specific people. Will bleed into how you CONNECT with those people (or, will be the very reason you fail to do so).
HOWEVER. HOWEVER. THERE IS A DELICATE LINE. A BALANCING ACT. You CANNOT just simply attribute fanon flavored ideas of found family to such characters. That's too simple, and sometimes, is a complete disservice to the specific character you're working with. I am once again bringing up Chilchuck. YES, him being a dad Absolutely seeps into how he treats his party. But if you call him the party's dad, you're Insane. Do you know ANYTHING ABOUT THAT MAN???? He would prefer you didn't. But I digress. He strikes a fascinating balance, between having The Qualities and ESPECIALLY expressing his care for his party in a Really Specific divorced (separated.) father of three fashion, but that does Not make him a "dad friend". He's a professional. He's on business. He's going home at the end of the day, and at the end of this adventure he's thinking of setting up a shop. I wanted to keep this more vague and broad but like. The Chilchuck example REALLY DOES perfectly articulate What I'm trying to get at, here. He's the perfect encapsulation of How his family shapes him, how that bleeds into his relationships with others, vs Who he is as a person.
How we were raised, our family ties, whether you adhere to it or you've fallen FAR from the tree -- you still fell from that stupid fucking tree. It's in your blood. Literally. It gave you shape, whether you liked it or not. And sometimes some things just set off weird domino effects, that also affect us irrevocably forever.
WHICH IS. TO SAY. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. I'm always trying to figure that out. Found family is/can be real, you're not strictly bound by blood if you don't wanna be. BUT. The bullshit I'm constantly on, is trying to figure out how to balance all that without slotting everyone into reductive roles. I'm gay and I seek to destroy the nuclear family. Not attempt to recreate nuclear family 2.0. You CAN reconstruct What Family Is/Means from the ground up, but you have to accept that things are going to get Weird. Because you're Queer. You are fundamentally incompatible with the status quo and normalcy, the solution is NOT assimilation and palatability, the solution is to just. Get weirder. And be fluent in canon. Okay. I love you
#my notes#why am i becoming chilchuck's spokesperson. chilchuck defender.#well i can fucking tell you! it's because my dad is a divorced father of FIVE. with a drinking problem so bad#that if he didn't quit it would have killed him. and guess what! i can tell you a few things about alfonse.#the way alfonse strives to be just like gustav. idealizing him ect ect. and the way i just wanna grab him by the shoulders#and SHAKE HIM. SHAKE HIM. SHAKE HIM. snap him out of repeating the cycles by the power of friendship and gay sex#it SUCKS ASS TO SAY IT IN THE SAME BREATH. I HATE THIS AS MUCH AS YOU DO.#but if you (my own brother) are gonna end up Just Like Your Father could you at least go all the way. get divorced. for the love of god#get divorced. oh my god okay oversharing hour but the WAY. THE WAY. dad once told me#[my brother's now ex wife far as i know thank god it finally happened bu my god it took WAY too long]#but the way my dad told me once [my brother's ex wife] reminded him a bit of his second wife.#oh my god i didn't even tell you the famous dad lore. he's been divorced three times. he is THE EPIC DIVORCE MAN.#like when i look at chilchuck i go. i know this man personally. i live with him.#alfonse's case is. really. really way more complicated. like what i just said#truly is only the tip of the iceberg WHILE ALSO. SIMULTANEOUSLY. only being One Single Facet. to what he is to me.#BUT ALSO. CONSIDER. the Parallels i'm setting up between alfonse w gustav VS. moe and its mother.#okay i will not say more bc i'll talk forever. final piece i really want to throw out there is though#do you think anna's situation w her family business being The Basis of how she connects w others#do you think the WAY she and all the other annas were Raised is like. comparable to religion actually?#and ESP like. i don't know if there's any hard and fast rules or anything but she and all her sisters ARE.#PRESUMABLY. RAISED A V SPECIFIC WAY. to be highly competitive cut-throat merchants.#what does this mean for COMMANDER anna. one of (if not ONLY?) instance of an anna who fell outside of that.#also is it agab dependant? could you be amab and then later on become an anna if that's what#oh my god i'm thinking of that ratatouille post. accepting of your gender identity but NOT of your Life Choice to be a chef.#is it. exactly like that. and if you're afab and end up being trans do you just fall to the wayside?#like the point is NOT to inject transphobia in here. the point is to ask Okay HOW THE HELL DOES ANY OF THIS WORK???????#bc the Implications go INSANE. and also the point is to ask what is the funniest answer possible to any of the questions#I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN. AND BE INSANE.#like final clarification i only say religion bc that's what i'm familiar with (specifically christainity)#but maybe it's more apt -- a different flavor of traditional family culture that has strict gender roles.
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gothsuguru · 10 months ago
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let it be known…. bestie!sukuna does a killer winged eyeliner
#sharp enough to cut a man and that’s his goal i just know he does the meanest winged eyeliner for you in class#you hand him the pen w/o saying a word and he’s immediately grabbing the back of your head to steady you#if suguru sees that he’s like What Thw Fuck Is going onnimm gonna be Sick#firmly believe that reader & everyone in school has a mini crush on sukuna#i say mini bc he is so fucking sexy but the moment he opens his mouth you’re like damn… i regret all my life choices why’s he yelling at me#anyways. reader is the only one who can tolerate sukuna and vice versa <3 reader is friendly so everyone loves them#but like. BEST FRIEND wise? it’s sukie & reader til death does them part 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 i love them so much idk why their dynamic makes me so happy#okay i’m just talking to myself in the tags rn hmmm how do i want him to look#pink hair + black undercut OBVIOUSLY. face tatts/body tatts OBVIOUSLY.#ear piercings + helix + industrials + eyebrow piercing + nose piercing + snake bites + tongue piercing OBVIOUSLY#he’d also wear reading glasses. FKN nerd 😹😹😹 i have 20/20 vision i can’t relate 🤭🤭🤭#immaculately dressed & insanely intelligent you can call sukuna a lot of things but you can’t call him ugly or dumb#i think he’d have reader’s birth flower tattooed on him too just as a nod to how much he loves/cares for them <3#where should he work… maybe at the same tattoo shop as suguru? yeah maybe that could work#sukie’ll be a piercer while sugu is a tattooist yeah that checks out#maybe they’re in the same frat? yeah that could work part 2#okay YAY cool i’m glad i’m fleshing him out :3#snippets#personal
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bluestjayy · 2 months ago
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Maybe I'm just cursed 🤪
#trigger warning for everything that follows in these tags btw#i am in need of some venting into the void#so im gonna vent#so uh#im almost out of time to find a new job before i have to leave my flat and move back with my parents#in the past 27 days ive filled in 189 job applications#6 of those led to interviews#so far 5 of those have been rejections#i even started looking at jobs that paid way less than i can feasibly live on just so i could at least cover rent and stay here but no luck#anyway thats already sucky#and then ive had to go off my adhd meds because of continuous and annoying fuck ups with my drs and im hesitant to work to fix it cause#might be moving counties anyway lol#my depression is the worst its ever been in about two years i struggle to want to exist day in and day out and#this morning i found out my dog - my baby who i dont live with because i moved cities - he lives with my parents#we found out he has an agressive cancer - and i have to now make choices i dont feel ready to make#and im just#do you ever feel like youre already one the ground but life wont stop kicking you#and i feel#so lonely#my friends are doing everything right my cousin who i live with is always checking in on me and i am still#convincing myself i am being a burden i am the problem i#my whole life is collapsing and i#even writing this all out in tags my brain is yelling at me for being an 'attention seeker' or smth and idk#i just wanna#idk#its complicated ig#im fighting#i am fighting so hard#i just want ppl to know im doing my best thats all#anyone who read all of this - hi - i hope youre having a beautiful day. its all going to be okay in the end 💛
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polyamoryprincess · 6 months ago
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I’m watching the good doctor and I’m like “hell yeah Bates Motel man, bad that he’s not autistic but good acting and stupid weird doctor show shit,” and then they’ll say something about autism and I’m like “oh no you talked to the wrongggg people.”
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ofcowardiceandkings · 4 months ago
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the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do
#ive uh not processed it yet and it also wont really shake out for a little while now i guess but .. yeah#long story short my friends who ive been A Trio with since we were 11 might be done with each other#theres a LOT of additional factors but theyre splitting a house share so one can go live with a boyfriend#and in the process it sounds like theyve made a lot of selfish choices for some unknown reason#ngl theyve pissed me off a little bit for being so weird and reclusive since theyve had the boyfriend as well but only with us#its ... yeah i dont know what alls happened because i dont live with them#but i just cant fathom how they got to this point quibbling over the contents of their shared house of 5 years#over a boyfriend whos been around for 2 or 3 years ..... to ruin a friendship of 18 years ????#again i dont know the whole story but i trust what the friend whos still good at talking to us to not lie about them being screwed around#i just dont get it at all how to reconcile what ive been told with who ive known over half my life#theyve felt off .. or wrong for a while now tbh ... i miss them#i havent seen the other one since before may ...#the thought that mightve been the last time we all hang out is kind of killling me inside lol#and it was also pretty weird and stilted again because it was very boyfriend-centric#this always happens to me lol ive lost count of all my school friend groups who end up basically fighting over me after they fall out#its a MAJOR trauma point for me and i thought we kind of grew past that but i guess i was wrong#ive been catching myself with a weepy eye or a single sob all day#i dont know what to do i wanna know what the fuck happened and what was worth doing this for#i wanna confront everyone and ask for a fucking explanation as to why my single life solid bedrock is falling apart#i mostly wanna dig a hole and die in it ... im fine im safe but im bothered by like ...#what a total fool ill look like if i just melt down at work ... i might find the mental health first aiders list and write an email lol#im like not okay cksbdkssj fucking hell#i have some hope but its ... its hard out here#i need to go to bed fuck#id dont neeeeed thiiiiisss im gonna choke on life agaaaiiinnn#the battle to keep my shit together enough to at least not self-sabotage ??? its testing my patience#rory's ramblings
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autistic-shaiapouf · 8 months ago
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Fuck it, we're joyblogging now, went to the beach for a few hours and swam for the first time in literal years, walked along the shore a bunch, and now I'm gonna make Japanese curry for dinner with some vegetables I pre-chopped + some chicken, and might watch some eva while I have my curry
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akkivee · 1 year ago
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this is going to be my hypmic self insert profile LMAO
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