#like oh my god. this dude is real. and hes crying. and he fits in my hand.

[kylejsugarman]

god i love people watching breaking bad for the first time and being blown away by aaron paul as jesse. like u can go in knowing Everything, knowing about the awards and acclaim and posts and scenes, but nothing can prepare u for the actual experience of seeing a completely real, fully fleshed-out person spring out of that actor's forehead fully formed. aaron paul would go on set, absolutely body scenes like no one else has before, and then leave like "ahaha idk man i just do it, ive never done an acting class i just fucking do the acting". its unbelievable.

[mochamvgz]

what they would save ur contact as

; i don't think this needs a synopsis? it's all in the title

; ot7 enhypen x reader

; genre: hcs, non idol au, established relationship, fluff

; warnings: slight profanity, miraculous, some members being total simps, being called short by niki

; 0.5k words

; perm taglist: @inkelea @yuerki

heeseung || ramyeon partner🍜💛

the two of you LOVE ramyeon so it's only fitting. your first date, all the way back when you guys were in uni, was having ramyeon at a local convenience store for crying out loud!

and OF COURSE you immediately fished out your phone from your pocket to change his contact to the same

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

jay || my pretty girl💐 (in a completely not possesive and absolutely unpatriarchal way!)

if you saw xander hawthorne you're a real one pls marry me

we already know this guy is THE ultimate green flag so this came as a surprise to no one

you and jay are also massive feminists and no sticklers for insecure masculinity hence the parenthesis

when you find out what you're saved as on his phone you can't help but fall in love with your boyfriend all over again

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

jake || bugaboo🐞❤️��

if you think miraculous is a kids show GET OUTTA HERE

"there's no way you saved me as that"

"why? is there a problem bugaboo?"

without a word you unlock your phone, open ur contacts, scroll down to find his and hold it up in front of him

jake raises his brow at you and directs his attention to your screen, his mouth immediately forming an 'o'

" ‘chat noir’ ? oh my god you're kidding!"

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

sunghoon || (name)

the guy first saved your number when you were paired up for a project which was 2 whole years ago mind you and for some reason it just never? occurred? to him? to change it??

of course you're mad when you find out

"seriously hoon?"

"i'm sor-"

"give me your phone"

he complies. you unlock and open his contacts going to ‘favourites’, clicking on your contact which is at the top of the list duh

you change your contact name from ‘(name)’ to ‘the love of my life💘’ and hand his phone back. he raises his brows when he sees what you did but doesn't say anything because it's true

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

sunoo || QWEEN🙌👑

"YES!!! GO QUEEN!!!"

you guys were hanging out at his place one day, all snuggled up watching a movie and the female lead just did something super badass making you jump up

sunoo doesn't waste a moment grabbing the opportunity

"but you're my queen"

you're surprised at the abruptness of the compliment but try to appear more ‘seriously dude?’ rather than a blushing mess

"what? it's true i even have your contact saved as that"

he brandishes his phone to show you

there's no stopping the blush now

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

jungwon || yang jungwon's girlfriend 😤💖💓

when you ask him why he's referring to himself in third person he'd say

"in case my phone ever gets stolen or something, the thief would still know you're mine"

you can't take it anymore and burst out laughing

"what?" he'd ask with his brows furrowed

"you're ridiculous"

"but you still love me" he's right about that

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

niki || shortie🙄

to be fair your height is above average but your boyfriend is a fucking giant and even then you're only like 2 cm shorter

he still can't leave it alone tho and teases you about it to no end

"are you for real?"

"what? it's true ya know"

"for fuck's sake it's only 2 cm"

and just like that the two of you are at it again

; a/n: surprise surprise! my first hc yayyy! i hope this turned out okay bc i had no idea what i was doing lmao💀 ily if you got the reference in the jake one no i don't just mean miraculous

© mochamvgz on tumblr | all rights reserved | do not plagiarise, repost or translate any of my works

[cherry1sblog]

PAIRING: Lee heeseung × fem!reader

PART 1 PART 2

GENRES:smut, fluff, bullying, alcohol,party, unprotect ed sex (rember to wrap your Willy so the out come won't be silly

WARNINGS there is bullying in this heeseung is basically a dick to y/n and nothing in this story is real!!! This is fan fiction and the way I write about heeseung is not the way I portray him as he's a person himself this is simply for entertainment only !!

SUMMARY:heeseung had always bullied you through your 3 years of Highschool but never let anyone touch you other then him and if he found out someone did that was the end of it you were basically marked as his toy that's until the summer of your junior year you had enough you were done with him always making fun of you and you hated the fact that after all he did I to you you still adored him and liked him but it dosent matter cause you wanted to leave your senior year with a banger so you were no longer your nerdy self still smart asf obvi but appearance wise different you got contacts new clothes thank god you guys didn't have a dress code and most importantly you spent all summer learning how to do your makeup..

“Heeseung hyung do you know why y/n just left?” Sunoo asked “we had an argument cause she was being a bitch again “ sunghoon heard heeseungs remark and was upset “heeseung I know it’s your birthday but fuck you dude y/n was the one who organized everything with sunoo” “yeah hyung she even spent all night planing the decorations I know that you only do this to get her attention but we’re not in 7th grade anymore bulling her isn’t and was never going to work so stop being such an asshole “ heeseung washed with guilt he felt bad yes but sometimes he didn’t know any other way to show you how he felt and right now he felt really bad and realized how messed up he was being to you leaving his own party in his car trying to find you he realized it started to rain as it was the middle of October he knew you weren’t home yet cause the drive was around 20 min so the walk would be twice as long he felt the horrible now realizing you were walking in the rain but then he doted you sitting on a curb on a couple minutes from jakes house crying concer he got off and walked to you being to your level “hey y/n why don’t we go into the car it’s rai-“ you had pushed him he landed on his ass and now his butt was wet upset but not saying anything besides picking you up and putt you in the car slamming the door “what the hell heeseung “ “doll please just let me take you home it’s the least I can do enless you wanna walk in the rain” you hated how he had a point but you really didn’t wanna walk in that rain you were already soaked “here my coat “ he handed you his coat realizing that you were going in the opposite detraction of your house “hey my house isn’t this way” “my house is closer” you were gonna argued with him but you really just wanted to get out of these clothes “oh and um t-hanks for setting up my party “ you were surprised they Lee heeseung was saying thank you not even caring that he found out you were the one who planned it all “wow they Lee heeseung is thanking me “ he laughed “don’t get ahead of yourself now “ he said as you guys pulled into his driveway and hell heeseung house was big not as big as jakes but still really fucking big “are you coming inside or just gonna chill in the car “ running to his front step cause of the rain “my parents aren’t home there on a business trip so you can spend the night “ nodding at him admiring the decorations in his house followinghim up stairs and into his room “uh I don’t really have anything that will fit you” he said as he handed you some pj pants and a t shirt “thanks “ you said him just nodding thinking he was gonna leave or go change in his bathroom but he just looked at you “um where can I change” “oh right sorry you can change in my bathroom” walking into his restroom you not I’d it was a lot more clean than you thought everything was organized you put on the clothes as they were obviously super big but that was fine walking out you saw heeseung changing you covers your eyes “you can open your eyes “ peeping realizing he had clothes on now cheeks red as you just saw heeseung shirtless “sorry I was. Just about to get my shirt “ “not its okay” he laughed at you “what’s so funny “ he just shook his head “havent you seen a guy naked before or without a shirt? You saw sunghoon without one so what’s the big deal “ you’ve obviously seen guys shirtless before many times in porn at the beach but for you to see them all alone with just the two of you it made you nervous your stomach turend with butterflies and sometimes you thoughts being in the gutter “I have obviously but still” he lifted his brow “but still what exactly?wait don’t tell me your….” You don’t under stand what he meant you looked at him as he smirked and laughed you didn’t get it “ wow doll are you still a virgin” you got embarrassed “ you really had me thinking you were actually a lit when really your just a innocent bunny” you scoffed at his words “you didn’t even let me answer” “ go on then answer

He told you but you had no idea what you were going to say so you just blurted anything “we’ll um if you reallly wanna know I’m not a vigrin anymore I’ve had a lot of sex before and given amazing head “ he look like didn’t believe you one bit with he shouldn’t you felt so stupid you says yeah I’ve given so much head before ughh “um okay? Yeah doll it’s okay if your a virgin it’s natural “ you shook you head “ but I’m not I just told you I’ve-“ “ then show me “ you didn’t know what to say mouth hanging open “ if your so good at giving head then show me “ you really didn’t know what to do only what you’ve seen on porn but you weren’t going to let heeseung win so you were just gonna try and reenact what you’ve seen on porn “ u-um okau” he say on the bed man spreading you walked over kneeling down infront of him undoing his belt but he grabbed your arm stoping you “ wait I know your lying y/n it really is okay i was just messing with you “ he looked at you with sorrow “ I don’t want you to do something and feel forced into it it’s okay to be a virgin and this is something you should lose with someone special “

You smiled at him knowing he cared but you were already infront of him so you might as well do it so then you could maybe learn “ I’m already infront of you and I want to do it you can help me along the way “ he looked confused “wait a minute you want me to be you what sex guide?” You nodded “ only if your sure “ you were sure and on the inside heeseungs heart was pounding and now growing hard thinking of you around his cock just as he always wanted you nodded to his question he released your arm you rubbed your palm over his pants as you seen the girls do before heeseung crowed to it throwing his head back you slowly zipped his pants down ridding him of his sweats and then you saw the tent in his boxers the outline already scared you heeseung saw that panick in you face “you don’t have to continue doll if you don’t want “ you shook your head your wanted to do this you pulled his boxers down and he was so pretty that your mouth started to drool “ so big” you started to moved your hand up and down spitting on his shaft moving up and down then adding your mouth to his tip swirling on his slit his eyes rolled back “fuck y/n you feel so good “ he bunged your hair “may I “ you nodded he started to fuck your face he was so big he had you stuffed gagging on him he kept rolling his eyes back “ah fuck you like being a slut for me don’t you “ you didn’t say anything but you were getting wet “my own slut my doll so I can use you whenever I want right” you gagged on him again and he can you couldn’t breath but it was worth it he came all in your mouth you swallowed it he pulled out of your mouth “did you swallow doll” you stuck out your tounge to show him “did I do good “ he grabed your jaw “you were amazing “ he placed you gently on the bed your heart was racing you were nervous and I’m pretty sure heeseung can tell by the way your eyes were closing “hey pretty girl look at me we don’t have to do this we can take it slow okay “ he looked at you like you were the most important thing to him you felt wanted by him “I want to do it “ you said it but with hesitation he held your hand “look we’ll see if you wanna go thrue with the rest after I’m done eating this pretty little pussy” you smacked him as he giggled he slowly took off your pants seeing the wet patch on your cute pink underwear rubbing his finger over you there was a barrier you needed more it felt to good already “he-heeseung m-ah” he licked a strip on your underwear sliding your underwear done now feeling a bit exposed you closer your legs “don’t hide from me cause now this pussy belings to me and only me okay doll” you nodded he went down on you he licked sucked and fucked your hole with his tounge and fingers and it felt so good but you wanted more you wanted him as close to you as he could be “ah hee-“you moans so loud as he started to go faster you were close “please heeseung don’t stop feels so fucking good “ your eyes rolled back you couldn’t hold it any longer cumming all over his tounge “ you taste so good doll” you blushed at his comment “heeseung please “ “please what baby?” You go shy you didn’t wanna say it “use your words or I don’t know what you want “ checks turning a bright rosy red as you told him what you wanted “please fuck me need it so bad seungie “ the nick name was knew to him but he loved it

Aligning hip tip with your entrance before he put his tip in he was so big in you he could feel just how tight you were “holy fuck your so tight” heeseung and you throwing you heads back as he bottomed out “tell me when I can move baby” you didn’t want to wait anymore “please just fuck me heeseung “ and with that he slowly thrusted not wanting to hurt you witch it felt werid at first but it felt so good after awhile “omg fuck” heeseung starts kissing you slowly “been wanting to do this for so fucking long always have that big ass mouth of yours “ you couldn’t say anything other than “fuck y-“ heeseung started to pound into “what’s wrong doll I swear you were saying something “ you were to fucked out to say anything you felt a coil in your stomach but at the same time it didn’t feel like how it felt when you would touch yourself so you had no idea what was happening it felt so strong “omg wa- ah” heeseung pressed on your stomach wear his duck was bulging from it felt so god that right then I’m the the coil broke it felt so good your body felt so warm “did you cum baby” heeseung starts kissing down your neck and still keeping his pace you feel sensitive but I’m a good way “fuck keep clenching on me doll” and you did you could feel heeseungs dick twitch inside you and then you felt the warmth of his cum you felt so full heeseung panting both of you out of breath as he laid besides you “holy shit that was amazing “ you said “wait shit “ heeseung looked at you confused realizing that you just slept with heeseung your biggest enemy it was too late now but you didn’t want anyone to know “can we maybe keep this beetween us?” Heeseung seemed hurt “uh yeah sure” you didn’t understand why but he did but he always makes stupid remarks of course “ wait is it cause you don’t want people to know how dumb fucked you were over my dick” playfully hitting his chest “no heeseung cause I don’t want people knowing my business but I’m tired can I sleep now “ he nodded giving you a shirt and holding you while you slept

//The next morning \\

You woke up in heeseungs arms and it actually felt nice you didn’t want to get up but you had to you slipped as careful as you could not wanting to wake him as he looked so peaceful grabbing his and your clothes and making way to find his washer and dryer you went to go washed up from your pervious night activities and by the time you were done you undies were done drying slipping them on and throwing one of heeseungs black shirts on going to make breakfast but before that you wanted to wake heeseung so you tried to wake him up by tapping on him but that didn’t work so you set on him and slowly started to kiss his lips then his cheek and then his jaw you were going down more but he stopped you “doll it’s too early for you to be acting bad “ you faced him “all I wanted to know was if your hungry I wanted to make you some food “ he smiled at you and pecked your lips the rest of that day you spent with heeseung not answering anyone just the two of you together until someone showed up at his door you opened the door not knowing who it was but you found out it was Sunghoon you were fucked “y/n? What are you doing at heeseungs place “ you didn’t know what to say at all “um he took me here after I left cause I was walking home in the rain so he said it would be bad for him to just leave me in the rain “ he didn’t seemed like he believed it not one bit “so where’s heeseung then “ the dort opend more “right here “ heeseung said as he showed himself “why are you just standing at the door come in werido “ you were so confused heeseung was acting to normal “I’m the werido you had everyone thinking you two were dead “ and really hit you your parents but then also realizing your parents weren’t home either they too were on Bissnens trips “well I’m not see we’re standing perfectly fine “ sunghoon rolled his eyes “well I can see that now but if he just wanted to make sure you don’t get sick why are you still here then it’s like 6 pm not only that you wearing hyungs shirt ?“ you looked at heeseung sunghoon got you both there I mean to everyone eles you guys are enimes in reality heeseung should have just left you there to walk in the rain but this isn’t like that At all “uh that’s a good question “ heeseung looked back at you both no knowing what to say but before sunghoon could speak you interrupted him “ I stayed because both are parents are on trip right now so we thought it be better to stay together cause I get scared being home alone and I wasn’t going to sleep in my dress duh “ you were hopeful he believed that “oh ok I mean I Gusse that makes sense but why haven’t you guys answered anyone “ see we’ll for the past like 8 hours you and heeseung have been bing watching the summer I turend pretty so that wasn’t something you had to come up with

“y/n wanted to watch the summer I turend pretty and I thought it was stupid but it’s actually a really good show we’re almost finished with it wich you actually interrupted” Sunghoon honestly was questioning why he’s even freinds with the both of you but sunghoon also came to say that “we’ll another reason I came and why we’ve been calling you nonstop is cause jake got into a fight with someone at the party “ you were conceded Scince jake was super nice like a golden retriever and seeing him hurt would upset you “WHAT is he okay????” Sunghoon nodded assuring he was fine but the other guy was not “ I don’t get it what was it wall about? Why did they even fight “ sunghoon sighs “well actually I think it good that y/ms here now but it’s a bit upsetting” you were confused what’s so bad that invoked Jake getting into a fight cause of you “the guy I Guess was taking pictures up girls dresses and skirts and you were one of them “ you were grossed out your heart sank you felt like you were gonna puke tears forming at the corner of your eyes “but there’s more I Gusse he had posted the pics he took of girls on accident and a bunch of people are calling all the girls whores “ you were definitely upset but still didn’t get why jake got into the fight “not only that but the guy got all up in jakes face cause he called him out for it and then he said some stuff about you being a whore “ heeseung looked at you to see a reaction they both did “I’m. Not sure what to say who tf is this guy?” He wasn’t really sure either he saw him but didn’t know who he was “apparently your freind soobin knows him but the dude is like a complete loser his name is minje that’s all I really know “ Minje that name sounded so familiar to you but you don’t know why after that sunghoon ended up calling the boys and chu and some of the other girls so everyone was at heeseungs you all decided to have a game night

“During the game “

“Fuck you this ain’t fair jake hyung keeps Stealling my money “ it’s been 30 min into the game and the boys were already arguing “it’s not my fault you don’t notice this monopoly dosent have rules so suck it up” everyone was laughing at them but this game was gettin absolutely no where so you asked if they wanted to play a diffrent game “what game did you have in mind?” You were think but you didn’t really know “uh I’m not sure this game is boring that’s all I know “ “oh oh wait I have an idea “ chu said “how about we play spin the bottle scince there’s a good number of us “ there were 7 girls and 8 boys so chu was right we all went into a circle heeseung grabbing a beer bottle placing it in the center “okay who wants to go first “ Jake being jake he went first “oh shit I’m scared “ Jake said but it landed on chu every one in the room went ooooooo chu and jake ended up kissing but you guys weren’t in middle school anymore so you suggested a little more “istead of just a kiss why don’t we do make outs scince well kissing is a bit boring “ everyone agreed with you beomgyu went he needed uo kissing yerim and then jungwon went he kissed Yuna and then it was your turn you were nervous but exited you kinda were hoping for heeseung but you landed on sunghoon it’s not like you haven’t kissed before but you guys didn’t really understand what you were anymore more confusing at the fact that we’ll you had slept with heeseung nothing really made sense to you about this but it’s just a game right no actual feeling involved right? “Do I have to come to you or ?” You spaced out but went to sunghoon and he just grabbed your wait and pulled you in you guys probly made out for a good minute but when you went back to your spot you could see heeseungs death glare at you after 2 more people went it was heeseungs turn he  spined  the bottle and what do you know thank you lord for making this more awkward then it had to be you were really reconsidering your life “holyyy shit y/nnie your got two kissies in one night” but then as sunoo said that jake smacked him “shut the fuck up sunoo rember there not the best of freinds “ everyone kinda gose silent “hey if you don’t want to y/n it’s ok “

Sunghoon said “no it’s fine I mean it’s just a game after all” you said it’s so nonchalant but you were nervous for some reason acting like you didn’t just sleep with heeseung “hurry up doll your taking to long “ heeseung was sitting down man spreading as you went to his side of the room with the couch you say on his lap you knew he was tryna be a bit of an ass but no everyone was kinda shocked that you were being so bold before heeseung could even initiate the kiss you grabed his jaw and started to make out with heeseung for a good 2 min “okay okay we get it stop before I bulge my eyes out “ jungwon said “I felt like I was watching the intro to a porn “ Everyone laughed at yunas comment “okay well I thinks it’s time for a movie no” everyone got exited but offfff course it had to be a scary movie you liked scary movies but y’all were gonna watch the nun but honestly something even scary happend the fact that you were sat tight in between sunghoon and heeseung you wanted to kys in that moment but something happens while you and sunghoon were giggle to the point where heeseung just didn’t wanna sit next to you guys anymore wich was werid “I’m actually gonna head up to bed you guys I’m getting tired but feel free to do whatever “ you guys all looked confused but continued with the movie

\\half way thrue the movie//

You had gotten scared 3 times and by this time sunghoon suggested you just on his lap instead of jumping on his lap like 70 diffrent times so you were seated on top of him sunghoon was grabbing onto your shirt but cause we was also trying to cover his eyes and then “BAM” you all jumped and screamed chu thru all the popcorn on the floor “ your so fucking stupid we should have known you didn’t have to pee” yuna told Jake “first of all that’s was rude second of all you all looked like you shit yourself” you were moving so much you forgot you were sitting on sunghoon put his hand on you thigh and squeezed it “please stop moving “ thats when you felt it you felt bad but also felt butterflies you didn’t stop moving through the movie it wasn’t like sexual it’s just when a scary scene came up you’d move more then you needed too that’s when “hey y/n come get more drinks with me “ you looked at him confused “huh?” But everyone ofc wanted a drink but no one wanted to get up “ommggg get me another soda please “ chu said so you went with sunghoon as you walk in sunghoon closed the kitchen door and went behind you whispering in your ear “you think your little game is cute huh?” You were confused “what game “ you said defending yourself “I know you and heeseung fucked if he really only let you borrow his clothes he woulda gave you some pants “ you were caught in your own lie you were fucked “so you let heeseung fuck you before me “ he said as he started to kiss your neck you turned around to get him off of you a bit “cmon pretty gurl I already know it obvious let me make you feel good hm”……….

——————————————————————————

I’m so sorry this took so long. I know you guys have been waiting for this so I try to make it as long as possible there was a lot going on so I didn’t have as much time but I hope you guys enjoy this in the meantime. also this is a proofread inside so long, but I have been wanting to start another series so for the next part of this might be may be a bit longer or maybe sooner but I’ve been wanting to start a new series so I’m trying to figure out some stuff, but I think you guys will be very patient and I love you all so much🩷

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMG?????? WHAT WHAT WHAT????

i'm sorry i'm so sorry but HOW. DID I MISS THIS???? WHY WHY DID I NOT SEE THIS BEFORE omg i'm am head in hands so devastated but gosh this is so well done and pretty iqshohohoho<efq kotikaaaa how do you draw sO GOOD!!!!!! <33333

Colors of LOVE time!!!

[First | Previous | Next]

It's been so long since I drew this page and finally I can show it to you because I finally made a next one! Happy October to all of you! I'm so hyped for this inktober, but I honestly don't know how much I will be able to do. I have a convention in the end of the month and also my energy levels are much lower than they used to be, but for now I will set a goal of a one page in three days! It took me two to make this one, so hopefully with breaks I will be able to do a lot!

• Support me on Patreon! •

Just in case you didn’t know - this story is inspired by @zu-is-here , @help-im-a-gay-fish @yuriyuruandyuraart and some other people, and is about what if all characters we know are just actors playing their roles in some kind of TV shows. The names are the same, but personality can be different.

[kunikame]

# PURPLE LILACS !

[06] - dude... | prev. | m. list | next

ace trappola x fem!reader smau

! warning(s) : cussing, st@bbing mention, sewerslide & kys jokes, is ace developing a crush? is he not? well never know, author real story incorporated (yes the scissor story is real.) ! w/c : 865

even through your doubts, you chose to accept aces invitation in the end. perhaps this meeting will help clear up said doubts, who knows? plus, you suppose it wouldn’t hurt too much to pay the octatrio a little surprise visit.

upon entering the mirror chamber you immediately notice the ginger waiting for you by the octavinelle mirror, fiddling with his phone angrily. probably texting deuce, you assume. once he takes notice of your nearing footsteps he looks up and immediately brightens when his eyes land on you. “[name]! i didn’t think you would actually come!”

“.. that would be really rude. sounds more like something you would do.”

he winces momentarily, then after a moment, he nods in understanding, “can’t say i blame you for thinking that. shall we go?” 

ace holds his arm out for you to take, which you glance at warily, only to walk past him and through the mirror.

it’s not that you don’t trust ace, you’ve been through a bunch of shit during your time in nrc together, but you don’t really want to be seen arm-locked with him, either. people might get the wrong idea, or something (you fail to realize you’re literally going on something that looks like a “date” to outsiders). 

after a short mirror trip you find yourself outside the magical octavinelle dorm building. due to the dizziness the mirrors effects still have on you, you stumble a bit upon landing and immediately feel aces hand on your arm to help you steady yourself. after the first couple months you spent here, your friends have all learned the mirror makes you dizzy, and there’s always someone reaching a helping hand out whenever you use it. ace himself has done it a million times before.

so why is your heart racing just a tad faster this one time?

and why are aces hands shaking slightly?

“jadey my dearest!”

“seven save me,” was all the eel got to utter before getting body slammed.

“oh, how i missed you so! i’m so happy to see you’re finally back from war!” you say, wiping some fake tears from your cheeks.

“he is not ‘at war’. he is simply ‘working’. as all humans should, because some clearly have way too much time on their hands.”

“zuzu! … go back to war, i did not miss you.”

azuls expression was a hilarious mix of flabbergasted and backstabbed and you wish you had a free hand to take a picture, but it seems floyd had you covered when you notice his flash go off.

“what’re ya here for today, shrimpy? .. oh, crabby is here too! here for a squeeze?”

“no. nope. absolutely not,” out of the corner of your eye you could see ace slowly backing away from floyd, who wore his signature menacing grin–

“c’mon floyd, back to work you go.”

–before azul (who was still pouting) hauled him away. to this day you still don’t understand how he can do that.

“thank you, zuzu! love you!”

“i hope you explode.” (he’s not pouting anymore)

“so, what are you here for today?”

“ace asked me to hang out. i decided i’d see how it goes.”

“i see,” the eel hums in thought, “alright. give me a call if anything. or floyd. any of us, really.”

“thanks, jade. i hope i won’t need to."

“he threw you down a well?!”

“he sure as hell did! and our dad just stood by and watched, no words, nothing! like a damn statue!”

you’re pretty sure you’re doing an ab workout with how bad your stomach hurts from laughing so much.

“they couldn’t even pull me out! had to call the fire department, they were all like, “oh yeah, my child tripped and fell in the well in our backyard” tripped and fell my fucking ass, hello?! i was screaming ‘n crying when they got me out.”

“i’m so… so sorry… i can’t-can’t breathe–” you continued your hysterical fit for a short while longer before you finally managed to calm down.

“ohhh my god i can’t believe this, man,” you finally took a drink of the smoothie jade placed on your table about 30 minutes ago, “your childhood days were fucking wild.”

“yeah,” he copied you by also drinking from his drink, “how about yours? if you want to share that is, i understand that’s a.. sensitive topic right now.”

“no, no, it's fine. umm.. let me think..” swirling the contents of the glass before you, you thought deep and far back into your memories, until you found something appropriate, “oh, i stabbed myself with scissors once,” ace nearly chokes on his drink, “intentionally, i think? we were making some christmas cutouts with my mom when i was 7 and she left me unsupervised for 5 minutes. i started playing with the scissors pretending they were planes and the plane was supposed to crash into a mountain, which was my knee, and yeah. boom. scissors i my knee, blood everywhere, mom screaming bloody murder, and im just staring with my stupid little blank face.”

you look up from your smoothie and ace is staring at you like you just told him you ate your foot raw.

“dude…”

## ❝ after the events of the phantom bride wedding, ace started wondering whether he still had the ability to charm girls. he hasn’t thought about anyone romantically in years, hasn’t really flirted with anyone either, what if he’s gone out of it? perhaps it’s time to put his talents to the test; with the person who hates him most, no less. if he can charm her, he can charm anyone. ❞

#TAGLIST ! : @solxima @gabirii @lunavixia @y2unagiz @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @borlining @verity-moon @myunghology @doughnuts-eater @lifeless-bug @babygurlenthusiast @shirishere @xopeach @stormyovent0aster @bontensbabygirl @ars-tral @wrathy-mcwrathface @sinofthesloth @skeet-2 @everettelz @sakuram1nt @shatiyuh @ambigrueity @junebunny06 @norylight @dyedracoonhair // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you're in bold i can't tag you)

[eggcompany]

Momma's got a HUGE cock

Dean was in town to see Sam, however he could never say no to hot college girls. Or older girls who wore cardigans and was a professor of theology.

Castiel Novak, mtf, 39, takes home Dean Winchester, ftm , 27, and makes him cry.

“Hey, can I get another?” Dean asked and looked around at the chicks sat at the bar. A red head to one side of the bar caught his eyes. A real Jolene, ivory skin and emerald eyes. He checked her out, trying to get her to look at him but she was chatting with someone else. He let his eyes look around again, a dude might be fun while he’s in town…

However, behind the red head, sat at a small table…

She was… wow. Dean walked away from the bar when the cool bottle touched his hand. 

She had her long raven black hair clipped up in the back, head leaning on her hand, glossy blue nails tapping against her forehead, and was reading over a stack of papers. A drink forgotten at the end of the table, ice nearly melted in it. 

Dean made his way over to her, god she was pretty, strong jaw, strawberry lips, long eyelashes, and the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. God and she was… broad shoulders, strong lookin hands, and, fuck, tits that looked straight up carved by heaven that fit so perfectly in her blue blouse under her crème cardigan. God, how could someone look so hot wearing a cardigan and slacks? 

He leaned up against her table, causing her to look spooked and look up. 

“Oh sorry, is, are you-”

“Hey calm down. Just wanted to say hi” Dean said with a smile, the lady blushed, putting her papers back down. She looked away, and waited nervously. 

Dean took it as an invitation to sit down across from her leaning his chest on the table and look at the papers. 

“Whatcha workin on, pretty lady?” He asked, sitting back and taking a sip of his beer. She rolled her eyes and shook her head a bit. 

“I’m a teacher. I’m reading essays.” She said and took a sip from her drink. It had been a while since she’d been out to drink, usually opting for wine coolers at home. She’d seen most of the college aged guys in town and well… this seemed to be one of those college frat boys, all big muscles and smooth talk. He had cute pouty lips and pretty dirty blonde hair and eyes that seemed to go on for miles behind them. Quite… handsome. Alluring. Kinda like a magnet. 

“Man… a teacher? Must be pretty smart. Wanna teach me a few things?” Dean flirted and the woman huffed a laugh. God she was pretty. And fuck he wanted her bad . At least for some kissing in the impala. 

“I’m sure I could. But what’s your thing? Huh? Mister smooth talker?” She asked and gave him an appraising look and swirled her drink around her glass. Surely he knew her or something, a study guide or ‘extra credit’ in exchange for some sloppy sex. Though she just couldn’t put her finger on who he was…

“My thing? Hm… beer, my car, very very attractive women in bars who teach and wear sensible shoes.” Dean said with a smile, flicking his eyes down to the table where he’d seen her feet crossed, clad in a pair of plain tan and white sneakers. 

She smiled down at herself, she was never one to dress up and go to bars, she prefers wearing her comfortable day clothes. Her regular tan slacks, a plain blue blouse, and she usually had a cardigan pulled over her shoulders. She looked back at him, he was wearing.. A lot to be honest. A tight black t-shirt with a red flannel over it and a leather jacket over it all. The jacket was a bit big on him but it suited him. 

Then he leaned back, flipping his jacket open to show the small trans flag sewn on the inside of it, he scratched his jaw like he wasn’t showing. 

The woman hummed and looked at it before looking back up at him. Of course. A kid looking for someone who understood. 

“Your name then?” She asked, taking another sip of her drink. She never had much luck at bars. Never had much luck with… anyone. Except he was like a magnet, like she was being pulled to him. She wanted to touch his hand where it laid on the table and wanted to sit close to him and… maybe give him a kiss. 

“Dean Winchester at your service miss…?” Dean said and waited for her answer. Her answer to anything. 

“Castiel. Novak. Theology Professor.” She answered and he smiled, huffing an impressed noise. 

“Wow, a real educated lady” Dean flirted and chewed on his bottom lip. She was the whole package. 

“Mhm, ya know I have that same exact jacket, back at my place.” Castiel said hoping Dean would catch what she was pitching. 

Fuck , She is more than the whole package. 

“Oh really? Back at your place?” Dean asked, his face giving away how excited and happy he felt. Eyes wide as he swallowed thickly. He really hoped she meant she fucked trans guys or that she was… of the same persuasion. God either, neither, both, all, god, anything yes. 

“About a four minute walk.” She answered, hands going to gather the papers and slip them into her vintage looking blue and brown messenger bag. She never usually feels like this, this weird compulsive need to take someone home. 

“Yes ma’am” Dean said and slipped off the stool and threw some dollars on the counter when the bartender came to close his tab. He turned and she was standing, almost as tall as him. She was holding her bag in front of her. Demisexual and the new pride flag pinned proud on the front. 

That’s fine. She could do whatever she wanted with him. Hell, she could take him home and make him sleep in her bathtub and he’d be happier than a clam. He just felt this… want. She was so pretty and hot and she probably had a bed and probably had a chair or couch and that sounds a lot more comfy than sleeping in the impala. 

She was wanting, he just didn’t know or care what for. 

“Do you still want to come home with me?” She asked, pulling him from his buzzed spiral of warm bed, boobs, bed, boobs, bath tub, boobs . 

“Gladly” Dean said cheerily and followed behind her. And oh man , she had a nice ass, thick thighs too. He was busy staring at the way her hips moved when she walked to notice her calling his name. 

“Oh yeah yeah? Hm?” He asked and looked back up to her smirking face. He didn’t care that he got caught staring. Especially when it caused Castiel to roll her eyes and smile at him. 

“I asked if you go to Stanford or not.” She repeated, amused at the way Dean had caught up to her only to turn around and start walking backwards in front of her. 

“Oh no, my uh my little brother does. I came up to see him. I'm not really the school type.” Dean said, throwing air quotations around ‘ school’ . He was never good at school, always had better things to do, other places to be. Though if all teachers were like Professor Novak it might be worth going back. 

“Hm then what do you do? You’re what? 26?” Castiel questioned, should she really bring this guy home if he’s… bad? Sketchy at least. 

“27, thank you very much. I um… I travel around a lot. Doin’ odd jobs and stuff. Well actually me and my dad do that but he said he had to go do something but then he didn’t come back so I came to ask Sammy if he knew anything. Uh Sammy’s my brother, he lives around here somewhere.” Dean said and looked around at the houses, turning back around to walk beside the woman. 

“Oh, does your family live up here? There’s a couple of my students that live with their extended family while up here or in a summer home.” Castiel asked, it was easy to talk to Dean, easy to know she’s not overstepping a line. 

“Nah… our mom actually uh she passed when Sam was six months. I was four. House fire actually. After that we just kinda… started surfing the road, never stopping or nothing. Sam was always good at school though so he got here all by himself. He’s a… he’s a really smart kid.” Dean praised, he couldn’t even start to explain how proud he was for Sam. How he wished he could have made a better life for himself too but… just roll with the punches. 

“Dean… you’re a very sweet young man. Cute even.” She said and cupped his jaw in her hand. He breathed heavily for a second. Why was he so comfortable around her so.. open and in love already. Fuck, he was falling faster than a fridge tied to an anchor. 

“You’re just… really pretty. And and I dunno. I dunno why I feel like… like I know you.” Dean panted out, eyes flashing from hers down to her lips and back over and over again. Her hand felt so.. Solid and warm and grounding against his cheek. 

“I feel the same which… is so odd. I never connect with people like this. I always feel a bit like… like looking in through the window.” Castiel said, stepping closer a bit, just a breath away from the man who felt like his chest was getting squeezed when he realized they were still on the sidewalk. 

“Can I come in?” Dean asked, tearing his eyes away from her to the front door. He wanted to get away from any eyes that peeped, any cars that passed. 

“I… I think so. Yeah” She said and pulled away from him, hand sliding down his neck, shoulder, arm, to catch his hand and pull him along. 

------

“No I, I kept my name. It’s after the angel of Thursday. It’s always meant a lot to me. My brother actually named me, my first two brothers were named after archangels, Gabriel and Michael. Then Balthazar was born and then me and my brother Gabriel named me because I was born on Thursday. I have… a lot of siblings. Gabriel named most of them.” Castiel explained as she handed Dean a cup of sweet sugared tea and sat down with her own honey stirred cup of earl grey. 

He was sitting on the couch, boots kicked off at the door next to her sneakers, legs criss-crossed, jacket and flannel shucked off to the coat rack while Castiel’s cardigan was folded over the back of a barstool. 

“Sounds kinda nice. My ma named me. Deanna. Doesn’t fit at all, everyone always just called me Dee, or Danny, Sammy called me Danny cause he had the worst time talking he messed up every word he ever said till he was like seven. I was thinking about Danny or Daniel but… Dean just stuck. Plus Dean Winchester has a nice ring to it, don't you think.” Dean said, sipping the nice dark tea that was perfectly sweet. It was nice to just talk about this crap. Plus Castiel was so… god her whole house smelled like her and it smelled fucking good like honey and laundry detergent and printer ink. 

Plus the way she shook her head and smiled was… it made his heart do a weird flip flop. 

“It does. I can’t picture you as a Deanna. I much prefer Dean.” She said and moved a bit closer to him, turning so she was facing him, curling up so her socked toes nearly touched his warm jean covered leg. 

“Hm… you smell good.” Dean said and leaned forward a bit so his head rested on the back of the couch, lolled back a bit. 

“Mmh~ Mister Winchester are you trying to get in my panties?” Castiel said teasingly as she leaned forward so her face rested a few inches from Dean’s. His breath was hot and stank of beer as it washed over her face and he felt the same only her breath smelled like everclear and mints. 

“Yeah. Yeah I am. Please?” Dean asked, confidence fading for a moment only to soften the rejection if it happened. He doubted himself was this not what she had wanted? Did she just wanna chat? Was this pushing the line?

She took in a shaky breath and she couldn’t hold back, he was so willing and she hadn’t done it in so long, she’d not felt the need or want to do it for so long. 

“God you’re cute it’s not even fair, come here” Castiel says and pulls him over to straddle her lap, her hand coming up to pull his head to hers, lips meeting. Dean was quick to moan and get his hands to her sides, pulling at her blouse. She had her hands on the sides of his head, keeping him from pulling away as their tongues met. He let her explore his mouth, easily giving up dominance of the kiss. He groaned and pulled at the buttons of her shirt, begging for it to be off. 

She pulled back, staring at him, her lipstick smeared over his lips and to the side a bit. They were both a bit out of breath, her hands relaxing and dropping to his shoulders. 

It felt good to… well feel good. She felt happy. And horny. It was great. 

“Even deal, shirt or shirt” She said and pulled at the shoulders of his tight t-shirt. He smiled. 

“Yes ma'am” He said happily and pulled the shirt off by the neck, throwing it over to the corner. Baring his muscular torso and strong arms, his thin red surgery scars framing his pecs, healed half-hazardly, puffed up in some places and thinner and fainter in others. 

Castiel stared at him as he knelt over her, jeans low on his hips. He was… hot, tan, and… fuckable. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her again, short closed mouth kisses, with his thumb holding her chin. 

“Your turn, Miss Novak” He said and sat back, fingers playing with the bottom of her blouse. She swallowed and nodded, giving him permission to start undoing the buttons. And soon she was bared down to her plain white bra. 

“If I had known I was going to have company I would have worn something a bit more flattering.” She said and looked away from him. She had this bra since she got her boobs… and she’d washed it maybe 5 times in a year. She had other nice bras, lacey ones and push up ones and ones that made her look thinner and less broad. 

“I think you look hot, really hot. Can I touch em?” Dean asked as he practically drooled over the perfect soft looking pale breasts that were cupped in front of him. God those were… the best. And he said as much. 

“Those are the best” He said, which caused her to cover her face and laugh, embarrassment flooding through her. 

“Yeah… the… the clasp is kinda busted in the back so I can- oh!” She tried to explain and reach back but Dean had already popped the two good clasps and wiggled the last one free. She was surprised but well… Dean probably had experienced bra issues in the past. 

Dean’s hands found their way to cup and grab at the soft squish of her breast, groaning into the kiss he pulled her into. Fuck, she was warm and welcoming and undoing his belt but his hands stopped her from unzipping his jeans. He looked down at her… so pretty. So feminine, so pretty, so gentle, so… everything. 

“I uh… I don’t got um… I haven’t… I’m still…” He struggled but Castiel cupped his face and gave him a sweet look, an understanding look. 

“It’s okay. I haven’t had surgery down there either, at least not that kind of surgery. Do you wanna stop?” She said and let her thumb rub over his cheekbone, warm and comforting. Dean breathed and calmed down and shook his head, hands traveling from her chest down over her soft stomach down to her slacks, looking at her as he unbuttoned them and pulled the zipper down. 

“I don’t wanna stop, I wanna keep going.” Dean said seriously and leaned down to kiss her deeply, tongues rolling together, as her hands came to his hips and slipped under his jeans, over his briefs, to press at him. 

He pulled back and huffed, panting as her fingers pressed against his wet cunt, his briefs soaked through nearly. He let out a whimper, shoving his head into her shoulder, panting. 

“Do you.. You can touch me. Please touch me, I’m so hard” Dean whimpered and rubbed against her hand. 

She was so happy. He was… god so perfect, willing and wet and perfect. She pulled her hand back, pulling his jeans down but they wouldn’t get over his thighs. 

“Up, take them off, all of it off, I wanna get my hands on your cock” Castiel said, letting her voice relax and drop a bit. Dean shuttered standing up for a moment to yank at his pants and underwear until it was on a pile on the floor. He climbed back into her lap, not embarrassed of how wet he was or that his cock wasn’t very big. He took testosterone when he could, when he could swindle it, John never helped him get it so he was all on his own. So his… his cock was bigger but not really… just enough to be able to get between his fingers and rub.

Castiel let her hands wander over his smooth back, feeling the muscles flex and relax before traveling down and giving his ass a grab. Dean jumped a bit but smiled and got his hands back on her soft chest, he wanted to bend down and give them each a kiss. 

“Cas…” He breathed out, feeling a bit overwhelmed but… too horny to care. He leaned down and kissed her again but cried out when her fingers slid over him, finger tips pushing at his slick hole. He grabbed around her shoulders, whispering in her ear, too embarrassed to actually say it. 

“You can put it in, if you wanna” He whimpered and Castiel shook her head and turned her head and kissed his forehead. 

“Dean?” She asked, hand cupping him, feeling how burning hot and wet he was.

“Yeah, Cas?” He replied, which made her happy because well… no one ever called her ‘Cas’. And he was just… so cute. 

“I’m gonna make you cum until you cry. Do you know why?” Castiel said, pressing her palm into Dean’s hard cock. Dean moaned out a little bit and breathed quickly, his stomach clenching up at the thought of Castiel… ruining him. He felt a little light headed, especially with her hand pressing right up against his cock and her fingers over his whole cunt and and- fuck

“Wh-Why?” He forced out grinding against her hand. She crooked her fingers up to just nearly be inside of him, inciting a gasp from him. She pulled him back by the hair on the back of his head, making him look at her, he was gasping. 

“Because you’re so cute” She said and pulled him down for a kiss and shoved two of her fingers into his dripping hole. Dean moaned, grinding as much as he could against her fingers that seemed to immediately find a sweet spot inside him. She licked into his mouth, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth for a moment before kissing down his neck. 

“Ah- I don’t like that. Just, kiss me up here” Dean said and pulled her face back up to his, he didn’t like getting necked. Never did, didn’t know why. Castiel kissed him and moved to nibble at his ear, her lipstick tracing a line from his lips over. 

“Good boy” She whispered and started working her fingers in and out of him, forcing loud moans and groans from his throat. 

-----

“Fuck! Fu-uh-uh-uck, please, oh god, feels so fuggin good! Please” Dean cried out as tears streamed down his face. His arms were wrapped around Castiel’s neck, hands grabbing onto her shoulders, she was squeezing his cock a bit tight and it was driving him crazy . 

Dean cried out and covered his mouth, mumbling something. 

“Say it baby, what’re you gonna say” Castiel egged him on, she loved the way he cried and all the noises he made and god hearing him was the best . She wanted to squeeze every noise out of him. 

He leaned back, stomach tense and jumpy, he was breathing so heavily, his chest heaving, he’d never felt like this before. He looked at her, god she was so pretty why the fuck was he so loose lipped and and god her hands -

“Oh fuck momma, I’m so close” Dean whimpered, clenching down on her three fingers. He looked at her as her eyes got big and her mouth opened in surprise, her hand stopped moving on him. He immediately tried to back track, most women he was with didn’t like that. He liked it but most women thought it was… weird. 

“I’m sorry I-” He said and tried to raise himself up off her fingers but she had him by the hair, pulling him down so they were nearly nose to nose. She pulled her fingers out of him and had his cock between her fingers. 

“Say it again.” She nearly growled, feeling her cock throb in her panties. She didn;t think she had any kinks but that was… jeez Dean was her kink. 

“I’m so close momma, fuck, rub my dick please, please touch it” Dean whimpered desperately, she was really squeezing him and fuck he was so close he was getting a headache. 

“God, yeah, you like mumma’s fingers in you?” Castiel asked and kept her fingers stead on him even as he twitched and jerked. She felt like her skin was alight with fire, everywhere they touched it felt like they were burning, their chests, stomachs, everywhere they touched felt like they could never pull away. 

“Yeah, love your fingers in my cunny momma, please! Please! I feel so empty but I’m so c-close” Dean begged he just wanted to cum, he was so close. Castiel pulled her hands away, grabbing at his body as she surged up to kiss him. 

“God Dean, I haven’t felt… like this in so long. Can I fuck you?” Castiel asked, huffed against his cheek as he kissed down her jaw. It was like a rushed fever had washed over them, an overwhelming need. 

“Yes please please fuck me fill me up.” Dean begged and Castiel was standing, hands hauling him up with her. 

“Holy shit, you’re so fucking perfect, so strong, fuck me momma, fuck me” Dean cried as he was carried through the house, loving the view of Castiel’s boobs where they pressed up against his sternum. He shoved his forehead against the top of her head, taking in the sweet scent of her hair. 

She got through to her bedroom, kicking the door shut behind her, and dropped him on the bed. He shoved himself up to be in the center of the bed. She was quick to shove her slacks off and to crawl over him. She straddled him looking down at his red cunt and throbbing cock. He reached up to play with her tits, roll her nipples between his fingers and squish them together. 

“What’re you gonna fuck me with? What’re you gonna shove in my cunny?” Dean asked, setting what he wanted his junk to be called. She smiled and leaned down to kiss him, guiding his legs apart so she was knelt between them, not letting each other get very far. 

“I’m gonna fuck you… I’m gonna put my… I don’t wanna say it. I wanna put it in but I don't want to say… those words.” She said, self conscious about saying cock or dick or anything else. She didn’t wanna think about that. 

“Okay, just stuff me momma, I’m… I’m dying for it” Dean said and looked down to where her panties were bulging out in the front. She was so pretty, her thighs looked strong and he liked the way she had a happy trail which he traced down, it was soft and short. 

She knelt up and covered the trail and her bulge, looking away, face turning even more red. 

“If I knew I would have company I would have shaved… I haven’t um… I’m not very smooth down there.” She explained and he huffed and shook his head. He usually kept himself trimmed with his electric trimmer just because he liked it. He reached down and moved her hands. 

“I think it’s cute. I think this is cute too…” Dean said with his bottom lip caught in his teeth as he traced down her bulge. She leaned down and kissed him again smiling against each other, so comfortable. 

“Am I still a pretty lady with this?” She said and when she leaned back she pulled her panties down so her cock could slip out from behind the thick cotton fabric. Dean looked at it with hungry eyes and a wolfish grin. 

“Prettiest lady I’ve ever seen…” He said and let one of his hands wrap around it and give it a few strokes… goodness he could barely get his hard around it and it was… at least eight inches long. 

“That’s… that’s big. Uh you have any lube?” He asked, nervousness creeping into his voice as he took in how… heavy and long and thick her cock was… hell his toy was probably half as big. 

“Yeah I do. But there is something else I wanna do…” Cas said, letting her hips roll up into his hand a few times before nipping at his neck and pulling away. Dean looked at her eyes and then at the big thing in his hand, that would not fit in his mouth but but she was so… he would choke on it if she asked. 

“I could- I’d you wanna- I mean-” Dean started but she was quick to press a kiss to quiet him. 

“Can I blow you, Dean?” She asked, hand going down to lightly dance over his inner thighs, sticky with drying slick, shaking with desperation. He was nodding, eyes squeezed shut, trying not to cry out. 

“Fuck… yeah. Yeah you can gimme head” Dean finally struggled out after cracking his eyes open to see Castiel perfectly content petting around his inner thighs and just above where he wished she would touch. She smiled and kissed his lips before making her way down to his dripping cunt and hard cock. 

----

“Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna cum. Fuck, Cas, Cassy, I’m gonna cum” Dean cried out as Cas kept on just barely grazing her teeth over his cock, keeping her fingers rubbing at all the good spots inside him. 

She pulled back, sucking harshly as she did, cock leaving her lips with a pop. She looked up at him and stilled her fingers, she had a devilish smile on her lips and shook her head. She blew out a cold breath onto him, causing him to shiver and whimper. 

“No! No no no I can go again. I can’t can fuck like four times no problem please please lemme cum” Dean begged, he was at his limit, he felt like he was burning alive, tears rolling down the sides of his face, throat nearly sore from yelling out. 

“Oh I dunno… you’re cocks pretty hard, might just wanna play with it all night” Castiel taunted, nail coming to run up the bottom of it and flick the tip of it. Dean cried out, hips bucking up and hands finally leaving the sheets and grabbing at Castiel’s hands. 

“Please momma lemme cum and I’ll take you so good, all the way, I’ll be so good if you lemme cum.” Dean tried to convince and his voice cracked and… well Castiel couldn’t turn him down when he looked so… pathetically attractive like a wet cat. 

“Then I guess it’s fine” Castiel said in a fake put out kinda way and pinched the nub between her fingers and started jerking him quickly and harshly. Dean cried out, quivering against the bed. He was screaming out legs going to wrap around Cas’s waist, crushing her tightly. 

“Cas! Fuck! Fuck! Please! God Fuh! Momma, god, yes, yes, yes yesyesyes” Dean begged and grabbed onto the sheets so tight it felt like he could rip through them. He took in one big breath and let out a high pitched moan, feeling like his brain turned off as wave after wave of pleasure twisted him all up and untied all at once. He relaxed down to feeling like jelly against the bed, catching his breath. 

Cas shushed him, gently running her hands over his belly, up and down his sides, on the outsides of his legs. She was staring down at where he was dripping, her white blanket turning dark with how much he’d cum, how wet he’d gotten. She ran her fingers through it, up and down over his folds. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay, what a good boy. Such a good boy. Look at that... Came all over mumma’s fingers. Look at that…” She said and brought her dripping hand up to her mouth, his rich lovely scent encompassing all her senses. God he tasted good. God she was hard, her heart was in knots too though. She moaned around her fingers, groaning at how he tasted, smelled, how he everything.

“That’s not fair…” Dean groaned as he finally came down, watching her lick his slick off her hand. Castiel smiled and dropped her hand to give her cock a few tight strokes, staring down at him, all tan muscles and wet cunt. 

“I don’t care. Can I put this in now?” Cas said and scooted up to slap her cock against his folds. She smiled at him, tongue poked between her teeth. Dean closed his eyes, he just came but… it was like his mind was made of putty and she had her hands in it. 

“Oh momma… yeah. Yeah fuck me deep. Put it in my cunt.” He whimpered and pulled her down for a kiss, her breast squishing against his chest. 

Castiel guided her cock into him, panting against his neck. Dean whimpered and held her around her shoulders, he tried to relax but god… it kinda hurt. He really wasn’t used to things that big being… crammed into him. 

“Cas… cas… It’s too big I can’t, it’s gonna hurt me” Dean said sorrowfully and looked heartbroken when Cas pulled out a bit and got on her hands over him, He didn’t wanna look at her… he hated being looked at like this when he was getting fucked. 

“I don’t think this is a good position, I’m not fond of… well humping like an animal.” She said and that caused them both to crack up as she pulled out and they sat across from each other, each a little amused with the situation. 

“Ya know I’ve never met a gal like you before.” Dean said, leaning his head against his shoulder, looking at her as she sat down across legged, cock still hard between her legs. She looked at him with a look that was… it made him feel sparkling. 

“I’ve never met a man like you either.” She said and then a thought popped into her head. Dean was about to say something but she cut him off, crawling toward him to kiss him and smile. 

“I know the perfect thing, move over.” She said and laid down, unclipping her hair and throwing the clip to the side, waist length hair falling down around her like a dark halo. Dean watched and man… she was pretty. He was lucky as hell, huh?

“Okay now you get like you’re gonna fuck me and and lemme pull my legs up.” Cas said excitedly as she pulled her knees to her chest. Dean got between them and looked at her funny, what was she doing?

“Okay see, now just… lean forward, I’m flexible, don't worry…” She said and pulled him down over her so he was pinning her down. She smiled and moved her hands between them, guiding her cock back up to his cunt. Dean looked down at her, this was… it was like he was fucking her position wise. But also… it wouldn’t offer a lot of penetration. 

“Man… I knew you could teach me” He said and smiled as he leaned down to kiss her, she held her cock up for him to lower down on it. Castiel huffed as he lowered down onto her, he was so warm and wet and tight. 

“That’s good Dean… Now fuck me.” Castiel said and it only took Dean a few tried to get the hang of it, he had to kinda rock back and forth and not really thrust but fuck it was good. He never felt so good and Castiel made such pretty sounds, eyes closed and lips in a perfect O. 

----

“Do you wanna get a shower with me?” Cas asked as they came down, laying next to each other covered in sweat and cum. Cas had reassured him that she had a vasectomy and that she was clean, he’d said fuck it to a condom. Dean had rode her until she’d cum, filling him, and then had gotten too strained and rode her regularly, until he’d cum again, her fingers on his cock. 

Dean was just barely awake, struggling to not doze off on the soft cozy comfort of her bed. It had been so long since he’d had the comfort of a warm bed, and a cuddle, and a shower without having to look for roaches or used condoms. 

“God yes, last time I showered I had to wear boots because of the fungus.” Dean said and sat up, a twinge in his back but a dull perfect ache inside himself. Castiel chuckled and looked over at him, hand coming up to trace shapes in his lower back. 

“Sounds gross, lucky for you I’m a clean freak so.. No fungus.” She said and sat up, holding the blanket over her chest. Her nipples ached a bit from Dean’s toying with them so much, well toying and sucking and biting and damn she had class to teach tomorrow she’d need to put bandaids over them. Dean groaned when he stood up, slick and jizz sliding down his legs, Cas stared cause fuck that’s… 

“Are you gonna eat me, Miss Novak? Naughty naughty, I thought you were a sweet gal.” He said teasingly, pulling his ass apart to both show where he was dripping and to spread himself just enough for another rush of cum to slip out of him. Cas was nearly hard again when she saw that. 

“Now, now, that’s asking for trouble” She said and looked back at Dean’s smiling face. God he was cute. He turned back to her, shameless of his form. 

“Come on, I don’t like being sticky, makes me sad.” He said, looking down face pulling into a sad expression. Cas stood up, pulled him into a kiss, a soft gentle kiss. 

“It’s okay, I’m not fond of being naked or sticky.” She said and pulled him to the bathroom right outside the bedroom, she was quick to pull him behind the glass door and turn the hot water on. 

“It’s so late, I have a class at nine tomorrow.” Castiel complained  as she stood under the water, letting it hit her in the face and soak through her hair. Dean hugged her from behind, resting his head against her shoulder. 

“Sorry, I can leave now if you want” Dean offered, stepping away from her, he’d leave if she wanted, it wasn’t very far to the impala. Castiel turned around and pulled him under the water as she stepped back out of it. 

“Aw but how sad to sleep alone when I have a big strong man to hold me.” She said which caused Dean to smile and kiss her. They kissed a bit more before the woman got a bottle of body wash and a bath sponge. 

“Oou… frilly. I feel so pampered.” Dean said jokily as she started scrubbing him down, smiling at him. She let her hands wash him, a weird feeling of… content enjoyment as he basked in the warm water. She got a little lost in the movement of it, that was until she was on her knees in front of him and felt his hand on her shoulder. 

“Cas, get up.” He said, not looking at her, just looking kinda sour to the side. She rose up, looking at her with her head cocked to the side, confused. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked but Dean was pulling her into a hug. She hugged him back but he wouldn’t let go, He just held onto her, water hitting his back. She rubbed his back and felt him sniffle once before pulling away. She held his face in her hands and she kissed all over his face, cheek, forehead, nose, chin, everywhere. 

“So emotional, do you need mummy to kiss it better?” She asked, only sorta kidding. Dean cracked a smile and nodded and they kissed again, Cas loving the way Dean was. Just everything about him. 

“Why’re you so hot and so sweet? Why’re you just… lovin on me?” Dean asked and kept his forehead leaning on her shoulder. 

“Cause I like you” She said and held him. She did like him. He was cute and funny and kind and she just felt pulled to him. He huffed a laugh and pulled back to look at her, all soaked from the shower and gleaming with post orgasm glow. 

“Yeah I like you too” He agreed and made her smile as his hands traveled back up to her boobs. 

“You like me or you like my tits, cause they were expensive” She said and he laughed and bent down to kiss and lick them for just a moment before kissing her. 

“Boobs are definitely a plus. Uh… is it weird if I ask you on a date?” Dean asked and looked at her for a minute as she turned the water off, she was rinsed it was enough. She could shower in the morning. 

“Do my boobs get to come too?” She joked and he nodded, smiling widely, eyes scrunching up.

“They can definitely come too, also can I borrow some pants?” He asked and soon they were snuggled in bed, dirty blanket tossed to the floor and new one pulled from the closet. Dean was out like a light, enjoying the company and comfort. 

---

It was easy to find work. Cas let him stay, promising he’d be good. They slept together and Cas learned that he could cook an amazing breakfast and a mean burger but also loved milkshakes and smoothies. Dean learned that Cas had… quite a sex toy collection. Dildos, vibrators, beads, rings, all sorts of stuff that made Dean’s little blue dildo seem like a household decoration. 

She had also given him enough confidence to talk to Sam. He had turned away and left when he’d seen his brother one too many times, just not having the guts to say something. 

So one Thursday when he knew Sam would be walking through the parking lot he was waiting. Well not waiting. Cas didn’t have a class for another two hours so they had gotten lunch and Dean was napping off his carbs while Cas was reading papers in the front seat of the impala. It was a beautiful day so the windows were down and Dean only had Cas’s soft cardigan thrown over him. 

“Hey De- Professor Novak? Why’re you in my brother’s car? I didn’t know-” Sam said as he spotted the impala and came up to see his brother. He hadn’t talked to Dean since he left for college. He loved Dean, never really saw him as a sister anyway. However he was incredibly surprised when he saw the theology prof in Dean’s car. Especially when he didn’t know Dean even knew the professor. 

“Dean, sweety, wake up. Sorry we just had lunch.” Cas said and reached over to stroke through Dean’s hair which was usually a major no go. Sam gawked at them when he saw that. He looked at Dean who yawned and sat up. 

“You’re boning. Jesus! Dean, I haven’t seen you in like a year and you come and smash one of the professors!? You dickbag!” Sam said and stepped away from the car and turned back to it, hands on his hips. 

“Technically she smashes me but whatever. I need to talk to you but uh… I’m gonna be in town for a while.” Dean said and leaned over the front seat, shit eating grin pasted on his face as Cas smacked his arm and shook her head at his nasty talk. 

“Smashing the theology professor. You’re a dog, you know that?” Sam said and climbed into the driver’s seat leaning over to give Dean a half hug. It was still nice to see him. 

[cy-cyborg]

So I was watching an episode of the mentalist because I remembered an early episode featured an example of a trope I'm planning to talk about, but it's been years and I wanted to jog my memory.

And my God I don't think I've laughed so hard at bad disability rep in a long time, i actually started to cry from laughing so hard. I don't think the writers of this show have ever even so much as looked at or been in the vicinity of a wheelchair user and oh my God it shows 😂

Perp 1: *holds a gun to the back of perp 2 who is pretending to be in a wheelchair to get through a train station unnoticed*

I'm sorry, what? I can not even go to the train station in my wheelchair without a staff member, at least one member of the public and usually at least one child approaching me. Wtf was that plan? You know what, if they'd fake claimed the guy using that logic I might have let it slide because that's a plan only able bodied people would come up with lol

___

Jane (main character): I bet they didn't even check your references

Perp 2: nothing says trustworthy like a wheelchair

oh fuck, I missed that memo! Can someone tell that to the recruiters/employers in my area? I think they missed it too (legitimatly, I once heard a recruiter on Tik Tok say they won't hire wheelchair users because they always "end up making something and suing us for discrimination" and im fake-claimed every time i leave the house because im young, which this guys was too, but yeah, nothing says trustworthy and inconspicuous like a wheelchair lol)

___

Perp 2: 6 months I was in that chair and no one questioned me! Why did you?

What world is this because it's certainly not the real one. You're telling me he somehow avoided being fake-claimed for 6 months? Even casually? No little old ladies came to yell at him for being a young person in a wheelchair? No one asked if he really actually needs it? I'm a bilateral amputee and even I don't escape fake-claiming, and I have no legs!

Jane: I've been looking at the feet of people in wheelchair users (that's really weird dude lol) for years and your shoes are scuffed, that's what gave you away!

I...do I need to explain this one? Even my non-ambulatory friends have scuffs on their shoes from transferring and bumping into shit (he does that like 5 minutes before this scene too), and ambulatory wheelchair users exist. This was such a ridiculous reason that even the TV tropes entry about how this episode uses the faking trope has a snarky comment calling this reasoning BS. It only does it on one other entry that I saw and it's to refer back to their previous snarky comment about this show lol.

___

This was 10 minutes. It wasn't even the whole episode, it was like the second to last scene 😂

Also, I'm just curious where this guy faking needing a wheelchair got a high-end, custom made wheelchair from? You cant just buy them, they are fitted to you by a specilist. Even if he did find one to just buy, the brand he has was worth about $1,000 to $2,000 USD at the time this aired. I hope this scam was going to pay well lol. Every other show from this era put their wheelchair users in cheap hospital chairs, why is the guy who's faking the one time you make an exception to that?

[loiteringandlurking]

Can u write anything ralbert. is rhat real. pls. Angsty,.,,,cute,, whatever au u want that u haven’t picked cheavhers for please race and albert

YAS!!!!

this is a snippet from my au that im writing ! hope u like :3

----

It was a cold winter night when Race realised he was in love.

Knock knock.

Race checked the time. What would anybody want with his sorry ass at 11:34pm?

He padded over to the door, rubbing his bleary tv eyes.

As he got closer to the door, he heard a sniffle.

Race's mind raced. Who would be crying outside his door late at night?

Did he fuck up?

God, did he ruin his chances with Al?

He opened the door, warily, prepared for the worst.

Albert's teary blue eyes and trembling hands greeted him.

Albert stood a little taller than Race, so he had to stand on tiptoe to see him eye to eye. His red hair was displaced from his usual slick back, strands falling down into his eyes, wet at the ends. He wore a grey shirt, with the sleeves cut off (as usual), with no jacket, despite the freezing temperature and the snow outside. Whether he was trembling because of the cold or the emotions he was clearly feeling was unclear.

In his hands, white knuckled and shaking, he held a Tupperware container full of food. It looked delicious.

And his face. God, his face. He looked at Race almost pleadingly with reddened eyes, eyebrows drawn together, lips pursed and swollen-looking, freckles strewn across his teary cheeks like shooting stars.

'Race?' He asked timidly, bottom lip quivering. Race, in a state of shock, only stepped to the side and waved Albert into his apartment. He closed the door behind him, and motioned Albert to his couch before almost sprinting to his bedroom and grabbing his duvet off his bed. He carried it into the living room, where Albert was now sitting, trembling, staring blankly at the floor, the meal deposited on Race's coffee table.

'Albert,' Race draped his duvet over Albert's shoulders, and climbed over the couch to sit next to him. 'I mean.. Is everything okay? What happened?'

Albert melted. He collapsed against Race, his tears sinking into Race's hoodie, chest heaving with sobs.

'I-' he choked out. 'I made you food. I've been leaving it.. outside your door for... for.. for weeks now, and I just..' he took in a shaky breath. 'I wanted you to.. to know it was me and also I need my containers again.'

'Oh, Albert.' Race hugged Al into his chest, holding him securely and rubbing his back as he cried. 'You're alright, it's okay.'

'I'm... I'm really drunk.' Albert murmured into Race's shoulder. 'M sorry.'

'Hey,' Race threaded his fingers into Albert's hair. 'You're alright. You want a glass of water? Let's get up, I'll give you a hoodie and some water, hey? Then we'll eat the food you brought, alright?'

Albert sniffled. 'Oh.. okay. Yeah.' He took a deep breath and removed himself from the soft curve of Race's body, and stood up, shaking a little.

'I'll get you a hoodie, okay? Head to the kitchen.'

'Okay.'

Race ran to his room, pulled out his biggest hoodie and made his way back to the kitchen, where he found Albert nearly passed out on his counter, eyes drooping, hands clasped together, his hair falling onto his face.

'Here, bud. Put this on.' Race handed Albert the hoodie and retrieved a glass, filling it with tap water. Aware of how tired Albert clearly was, he slipped his meal into the fridge- he'd eat it for breakfast tomorrow.

'Thanks.' Albert whispered, pulling the hoodie over his head- it fit him perfectly, and suited him really well- and downed the water Race gave him next.

'You wanna get some sleep, dude?' Race asked gently, rubbing Albert's back as he leant on the counter again. Albert nodded drowsily.

'Here, follow me.' Race took Albert's hand, leading him to his bedroom. 'Sleep here, yeah?' He deposited Albert so he was sitting on the single bed. 'I'll sleep on the coach tonight.'

'No...' Albert said quietly. 'Sleep here too. 'S comfy.' He dropped down to lay on his side, patting the spot next to him.

How could Race deny this beautiful, beautiful man?

[sparrowmoss]

aight back on it. the acolyte ep 7 live reaction. this is going to be so bad

ahhh here we go. the full story (i presume). wonder what theyre looking for

SEVEN WEEKS… i’d be throwing a fit too

oh this concept is cool as FUCK!!!! a vergence… yes… i love it. but i think they may be wrong. idk

sol having beef with indara and her saying well thats why i have a padawan and you do not HFHEHFJEHFKDF

need that speeder bike

bro mother koril just teleported

from what little he saw of that interaction i dont blame him for being concerned but maybe also realize u dont have the whole picture

why the fuck did mother aniseya do this to this kid what the hell. what the fuck is happening

i think. both sides are wrong honestly. only at 15 mins in but sol saying that his assumption that osha is not being cared for properly here does not mean that the jedi order or any singular member of it has any right to come in and take this child from her family by force without some sort of clear assessment of her actual treatment beyond a few glimpsed moments and without first consulting the child as to what she needs at all. to me this should have been handled by someone without a bias of wanting osha to come with them to be a jedi through claiming to feel a bond with her/that she is “meant to” join them

ummm this is getting alarming i would have assumed mae meant in the future but no indara knew she meant. like. Now. like Tomorrow. were they. were they all going to sacrifice themselves in mass suicide

NOOOOO I WAS RIGHT NOOOOO WHAT THE HELLLLL

sol why you so twitchy

bro what the hell is with the jedi order in this time period you all are fucked. council says no you cant take the kids also you cant come home/leave the planet where you have created hostility also you have interfered too much. theyre in danger. it doesnt matter. you formed an immediate emotional attachment. yelling that you arent emotional. can you all please get it together

oh shit they found out. ohhhh aniseya used the vergence to create them. WHAT

one consciousness into two bodies what the fuck

TORBIN ITS NOT FUCKING WORTH ITTTTT

i think aniseya was going to let osha go

ABIGAIL!!!!!!! im so glad she got a couple more lines because for real shes the main reason i got interested in this show in the first place KFJDJFJSF

please use the force to get up that damn wall ill cry if i have to see you climb it again

ohhhh this is all so fucked dude im so nervous for whatevers about to happen

oh no mae tried to put it out and couldnt nooooo NOOOOO

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO aniseya u dont know how right u are

um. instead of going to help mae. koril decided to fight the jedi?

HUH????

SOL WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?

this is so fucked dude everything is SO bad

THATS how they died??????? being forced out of group mind controlling kelnacca????

fuck. fuck fuck fuck

indara beat the shit out of this guy please. “i had to make a choice” sol patrol it is so over

man i was prepared for pain with this episode but i was not prepared for how fucking angry i would feel oh my GODDDD im gnashing my teeth EVERYTHING went wrong my GOD. if these people on both sides could have not jumped to violence as a first resort. not both immediately assumed the worst of the other side. these two little girls never would have had to be put through any of that. it makes me so much angrier that the girls were the source of this fight that didnt need to happen and suffered so immensely from it and the jedi can go on with their lives despite that guilt but osha and mae lost everything. every choice was made for them every option was taken from them everyone they loved was killed and every dream they had was ripped away. im so fucking mad

[park-jimin-isnt-real]

"dusk" masterlist

pairing(s): yoongi x reader (endgame); kai (exo) x reader; kai x oc (endgame); side namhope, jinkook, vmin rating: PG-16 genre: twilight au, urban fantasy(ish) romance current total wc: n/a

summary: When you moved to Forks, Washington, you only expected awkward conversations with your adopted sister's biological father and a lot of rain. You did not expect to see the love of your life walk through the high school cafeteria doors - especially when you thought he died back in 1918. But Yoongi doesn't remember you, and believes you to be fully human. With the seemingly endless amount of danger coming your way, how long can you keep the act up?

tw: angst, depression, suicide attempt, violence, fights, murder, blood drinking, liar revealed storyline, fluff & crack, yoongi and a piano, mint yoongi, so many kpop groups and soloists, chaotic taehyung, covering twilight-new moon-eclipse, i am not touching breaking dawn, nearly everyone goes by their real name not their stage name ~ this will be updated as the series goes on!

read on ao3 ~ read on wattpad character profiles playlist ~ faq moodboards ~ characters ~ pt.1 main masterlist

act i ~ dusk

prologue: when dusk falls ~ one: and they were roommates ~ two: just another fucking monday

three: they always say 'i can explain!' but they never get the chance to ~ four: in case you haven't noticed, i'm weird. i'm a weirdo. ~ five: rule #1: the doctor lies

six: get in loser, we're going shopping ~ seven: hi, welcome to chili's ~ eight: my brand of heroine

nine: "be myself", what kind of garbage advice is that? ~ ten: late-night interview with a vampire ~ eleven: and then i didn't

twelve: the iconic baseball scene ~ thirteen: there's only one snacc here and it's me ~ fourteen: how to run from the mess you've made

fifteen: not everywhere you fit in is where you belong ~ sixteen: was that the bite of '87?! ~ seventeen: it's just a flesh wound

act ii ~ dark

eighteen: and you did it at my birthday dinner ~ nineteen: as if i never existed ~ twenty: don't cry, craft!

twenty-one: it is wednesday my dudes ~ twenty-two: top 10 anime betrayals ~ twenty-three: take a number

twenty-four: at least there's a dog ~ twenty-five: wishful thinking, mindless dreaming ~ twenty-six: a world so dark

twenty-seven: so maybe i'm not okay ~ twenty-eight: v is for validation ~ twenty-nine: we could be

thirty: my past, my future, my hell ~ thirty-one: now would be a good time to be anyone but me ~ thirty-two: orpheus and eurydice

twenty-three: late-night interview with a half-vampire ~ thirty-four: feel my wrath and extreme self-doubt ~ thirty-five: how to be a failure 101

act iii ~ dawn

thirty-six: oh my god they were roommates ~ thirty-seven: howdy-do, fellow kids ~ thirty-eight: it's murder time

thirty-nine: the fine art of bullshit ~ forty: hey guys, i'm really trying here ~ forty-one: alexa, intruder alert

forty-two: thanks, i hate it ~ forty-three: you, bulletproof, in black like a funeral ~ forty-four: prom (an important high school rite of passage)

forty-five: there's no 'i' in 'justice league' ~ forty-six: the blood on your hands ~ forty-seven: probably unethical experimentation

forty-eight: i promise to love you forever ~ forty-nine: late-night interview with a werewolf ~ fifty: murder time is now almost exclusively the time, always

fifty-one: for what it's worth ~ fifty-two: t.g.i.f. ~ epilogue: dawn was breaking

[nikatyler]

Random BG3 Shenanigans

The only braincell in the group goes to Lae'zel today

Wonderful note to end on for now innit

"gods, you're worse than me and my siblings and I didn't think something like that is actually possible"

obsessed with their face and their glowing green eyes

IT'S ON LET'S GOOOOOOO SHADOWLAR TYHEART OR WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL THEM IT'S HAPPENINGGGGGG

(it was not happening, I never played that save again)

ohh i'm probably gonna be getting comments about mizora from annoying people if i keep him like this won't i (red hair/blueish skin)

dude's got nothing to do with mizora! in fact if you bring her up he'll probably cry!!! he's a burned out depressed student ex wizard now knowledge cleric of mystra! 😤 (definitely didn't base the burned out depressed part on anyone particular, nope not at all) wyll's a bestie!!

question, he's one of three siblings (triplets actually), his brother is purple, do tiefling siblings have to be similar colours? i suppose they have to huh because like…they're full siblings

he is not fit for an adventure he's gonna start every morning with a mental breakdown (real)

five seconds in Lae'zel's presence and he wants to cry

(btw I'll introduce him properly later when I also create his sister and my tiefling trio is complete but if you know my sims, you might recognize who he's based on and that could give you an idea)

(I did not introduce him properly, I never posted him again)

Couldn't find a fitting head preset for her and so she doesn't look mean enough but know that you piss her off slightly and can expect a fireball coming your way. 🔥 anyway 3/3 triplets done yay!!

Taking my army of tavs from the nautiloid, one step at a time. I think everyone I've created so far has now made it out...time for another batch, I guess!

Still feel like Byanka's face is too cute and doesn't reflect her personality too much but oh well, looks can be deceiving I guess!

That went uhh...that went. Yeah. Not well though.

At least you're not dead like the rest of the party was just a moment ago??

Byanka thread? Byanka thread. And I'll try to keep her entire playthrough here instead of starting a separate one every day.

Fingers crossed I'll do what I planned to do with her and won't chicken out of it. Sorry grove, sorry tieflings. Just this once, let me have this 😭😂

These shots are obligatory.

[paulinawoodpecker]

Tad the lost explorer and the crystal’s odyssey bloopers

(Warning: very funny)

@jycjakkiyoutubechannels

The signal:

Kenny: Mr Sam man! Wait. Sam man?

Kevin: let’s try that again.

Kenny: pickle man! Wait pickle man?

All: *laughs*

Kenny: am I fired?

The florist

Flora: here. Nice roses with perfect scent of-

Tad: *sneezes*

Flora: no! My Flowers!

Tad: *laughs*

Tad: I’m so sorry flora!

Ramirez: oh my gosh tad! Why!

Flora: *shakes her head*

The side car:

Mika: are you sure it can fit you?

Tad: of course it would-

Tad: *fell with his butt on the floor*

Tad and Mika: …

Tad and Mika: *laughs*

The broken wheel

Pickles: don’t worry guys! I got us-

Pickles: *the wheel broke*

Jack: oh my god Sam!

Pickles: *laughs*

Loose pants

Reena: ready!

Tad: ready…

Reena: go!

Reena hold his belt but his pants fell

Jasmine: oh my gyatt!

Reena: *laughs*

Reena: no bro! Why?!

Amy: that must be so embarrassing!

Tad: *in embarrassment*

The break up:

Pickles: dang, Tiffany…I’m really sorry.

Pickles: *coughs*

Tiffany: *laughs*

Tiffany: it so hard to cry and laugh at the same time!

Pickles: I’m so sorry. Tiffany. I’m so sorry.

Like father like son:

Lukas: and you dare hurt my girlfriends feelings-

Pickles: ow! My back!

Lukas: you okay?

Pickles: no!

Lukas: anyways like what I was saying-

Lukas: ow! My back!

Pickles: no! No you did not!

Max: *laughs*

Meditation:

Chai: inner peace…

~growl~

Chai: MR STONES! WAS THAT YOU!

Tad: sorry chai!

Chai: *shakes her head*

The Antidote Mishap:

Tad: Uh… I don’t feel so…

Director: Cut! Tad, you’re supposed to look like you’re suffering from food poisoning, not confused!

Tad: *laughs nervously* I was just trying to figure out if it tasted like chicken soup or rat poison.

Sara: *off screen* It’s supposed to taste like chicken soup!

Tad: Well, I didn’t get the memo, apparently.

The Queen Bee Catfight:

Tiffany: *dramatically laughs evilly*

Ying: Oops! *Sword falls to the ground with a loud clink*

Andrea: Really, Ying? You had one job…

Blair: Well, it’s not like Tiffany’s timing is any better—didn’t she just evilly laugh like three times in a row?

Tiffany: I was emotional, okay?! I’m supposed to be the villain!

The Chase Scene:

Tad: I’m getting too old for this!

Reena: You’re… you’re like, 30! Ish…I don’t know how old you are!

Tad: *out of breath* Exactly, it’s too old for this!

Tad: *lies down*

Victoria: You can’t be tired already, Tad, we’re not even halfway through the scene!

Tad: I have a severe case of food poisoning, I’m allowed a break!

The “daddy” Mishap:

Tiffany: DADDDY!!!

Tiffany’s voice crackles and the microphone picks up a strange noise.

Director: What was that, Tiffany? Did your voice just break?

Tiffany: I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen… Can we do it again?

Reena: *mocking* DADDY!!! That’s your cue, Tiffany.

Tiffany: 💢 Okay, okay, but no more ‘Daddy’ jokes, I beg of you!

Victoria’s “Serious” Moment:

Scene: Victoria Moon is being super serious while explaining the mission to the group.

Victoria: We must save Tad and stop Tiffany Mordon before it’s too late.

Reena: *whispers to Sara* She looks like she’s about to give a TED Talk.

Sara: *whispering back* Well, she has the dramatic pauses down.

Victoria: You—stop interrupting me, or we’re doomed.

Tad’s Upset Stomach:

Scene: Tad is doubled over in pain after drinking the antidote, clutching his stomach.

Tad: Ugh, my stomach’s making noises like a thunderstorm…

Tiffany maze: don’t worry. It’ll pass.

Tad: pass? You think this would pass?

Ramona: Do you need a real medicine or just some… sound effects?

Tad: Actually, can someone pass me the real antidote? I think I’ve got a full-on storm brewing here.

All: no!

All: *explains to tad that he’s mistaken*

Lukas: dude! It’s not part of the script!

Tad: sorry guys!

[bonebabbles]

First Battle Aftermath

For the first battle itself go here

lol. Lmao, even.

Not, "Oh my god what have I done," but "I'm so weak. I can't even kill," while wearing Rainswept Flower like a new pair of fur boots

first Adoption Win in 3 books. What's the tally on that one-- 1 to 10?

Clear Sky doesn't understand the point of burials lmao. Dude did leave that dead mom he killed out in the open for the flies to find, until Wind Runner and Gorse Fur came across the corpse and put it in the ground.

And he can't remember killing Rainswept Flower either, in spite of the fact he was coherent enough to justify his actions to Gray Wing, because the Clear Sky chapters aren't meant to be a glimpse into the mind of a detestable character. They exist to garner your sympathy.

Was that enough regret for you? Hope you got your fill because it's RIGHT back to Gray Wing's Excuse Hour

WE?!

WE LET IT GET TOO FAR

We Let It Get Too Far

"My brother :(((( He's a good man :(((((((( He's a good guy even though he just starved Jackdaw's Cry before trying to murder everyone and told Thunder he shouldn't exist and slaughtered Rainswept Flower in a fit of rage :((((((((((((((((((( He gave up some food after I asked him to when we were like 17 so that means he could never be a bad person"

It's right there on the goddamn page, Clear Sky wasn't BORN EVIL so he's GOOD ACTUALLY because NO CAT CHANGES THAT MUCH.

It's EXPLICIT, am I going crazy here?! The narrative says EXACTLY that because he was good when he was young, he can't possibly have changed into a monster. "No one changes that much"

FEAR OR GREED. GOOD OR EVIL. The writing is SO BAD that they attempted to tell a story with an ounce of more nuance than usual and just ended up re-inventing a Light vs Darkness dichotomy with different nouns!

And just when you thought we'd hit rock bottom, StarClan arrives with the reinforcements needed to DIG DEEPER

Enjoy Clear Sky being called a fool once, just a silly little slip-up, an Oopsie Daisy. "I only wanted--" goes UNADDRESSED as Turtle titters about "killing only ever leads to more killing" because they have to find SOME way of getting mad at Tall Shadow too.

Turtle Tail says some romantic schlock to Gray Wing about the kits and thanks Thunder for scraping her pancaked body off the pavement where she died, and then Gray Wing decides that actually he's mad that her magic ghost came down from the heavens because it's Too Painful to see her again or something. Because he's a GREAT character.

"We came to spread the Good News Gospel, Gray Wing. You need to know that god is real to live here peacefully."

DOTC is about to say that the cats need StarClan to avoid these sorts of massacres, because actually Clear Sky is fearful, NOT greedy, and believing in God means he won't be so scared that he feels the need to abuse women and children

(But also that everyone's kinda responsible for the First Battle because Clear Sky is a good boy and WE let it get too far)

Anyway, Fridge Wife 2 starts interrogating Clear Sky. They do this incredibly insulting chapter transition where Gray Wing goes, "idk if he wants to listen to herrrr..." and Clear's chapter opens up with "LOVE OVERWHELMS HIM" because, AGAIN, Clear Sky's chapters exist to garner your sympathy.

"I was scared my heart would break if I had to see someone else die, which is why I wanted to kill orphans, threw disabled people out into the wilderness, clobbered a kitten, told my son he shouldn't exist, performed public humiliations, and beat 3 women to death"

Wanna take a break and go check out the tally of things he did in the past 3 books, and compare it to his self-defense? Be Storm! Go check that out, keep everything he did in mind.

Ask yourself this; were his actions truly consistent with someone who was just scared he would see someone die of starvation, OR, were they consistent with a domestic abuser who enjoys the power he has over people?

Storm buys it.

"FEAR IS WHAT DROVE YOU," she said with relief.

If you're AFRAID then ABUSE IS UNDERSTANDABLE. IT'S OKAY! It's all fine in the end if your motivator wasn't greed, AKA "BORN EVIL"

"Now you see there's no need to be afraid because God is real, death isn't the end, and the assurance of religion with an eternal afterlife will make you a better person"

They're saying pain is less painful if you believe in God and this is why Godless Heathens are bad in the Warrior Cats series. When Gray Wing decided to proselytize to Wind Runner and tell her it was good that her weakest child died, because it meant he was in a "better place", THIS is what that was building to narratively.

PIETY will fix Clear Sky's abusiveness. YAAAAAAY!

ALSO THIS IS TALL SHADOW'S FAULT TOO SOMEHOW?!

DIE AGAIN, SHADED MOSS, BEFORE I BEAT YOU INTO COSMIC DUST. I HOPE THERE'S MORE TRUCKS IN HEAVEN

"how did you know he was going to kill-" CONTEXT. CLUES.

SHE MADE AN EDUCATED GUESS BASED ON ALL THE CATS POKING HOLES IN EACH OTHER AND SHOUTING "it's murderin' time!!!"

She was a female Warrior Cats character in the general vicinity so they had to make sure to shame her because god forbid they imply that Clear Sky is the only one to blame for this bloodbath

In fact they do it again, Clear Sky snaps and starts barking at River Ripple for being a foreigner in his presence, right in front of God, and they don't skip a beat,

It CANNOT remain about Clear Sky, EVER. Storm whips over to GRAY WING and accuses HIM of bringing death to the mountains too, closing out the whole rant with, "ALL of you need to make amends"

This is like when a bully spits on you, calls you insults, and slaps and hits you where the teacher won't see, all while you keep trying to negotiate, but then YOU punch back and you both get equally punished because retaliation is just as bad as being attacked.

The book ends on the cats deciding it's time to bury the dead. Thus concludes The First Battle, and Clear Sky's Redemption Arc begins in Blazing Star. Because this means they nonsensically get rid of their main antagonist, they have to conjure up an Evil Foreigner to take his place.

"Unite or Die" isn't a message about actual peace and unity, that thing that the Non-Clear Sky cats have been hopelessly committed to, it's actually a message about how they're about to have a very convenient common enemy.

Y'know, someone who isn't "scared," just "greedy," one of those evil Godless Heathens, so we don't have to 'feel bad' about murdering him. One Eye time!

[kanazawa-division]

ARB Birthday Special: Joey Kurusu

~~ October 9th ~~

“The dead cannot cry out for justice. It is a duty of the living to do so for them.”

Login Lines:

“Ow…ow….fuck, my back, I think I fucked up my spine even more after that crack, I didn’t think I was sitting here for that long, I could’ve sworn it was 10 PM when I first sat down, now it’s 8 AM and-”

“OH FUCK WHO ARE YOU-eh? A present? For me? Hold on…no fucking way, I sat here this long to miss the day shifting into my birthday?!”

Voice Lines:

“It doesn’t even feel like I’m 25 to be honest, aside from more goddamn back problems (is there a name for a condition like reverse scoliosis?? Where your back is too fucking straight?), my body randomly shutting down on me, and a new layer of existential dread, not much has changed for me which…I guess I should be grateful? Meh, I don’t know.”

“I feel kinda bad for taking the day off especially since I was in the middle of a case but everyone down at the station insisted I do so, I mean I had the hours so there was no worry there but I don’t know whether to feel flattered that my coworkers care about me that much or offended by how quick they wanted me out of the office.”

“Hehe, I can always count on my mom to make me some delicious homemade food, it’s actually rare that I get to eat Australian foods…it’s actually rare that I get to eat real food period, y-yeah I know I got the money and somewhat the skills to make myself an actual substantial meal but…instant ramen is goddamn delicious damnit and I will stand by that for as long as I live!”

“My dad…? What about him? Unless that piece of shit died or got arrested somehow then please refrain from bringing him up around me, he’s as dead to me as I probably am to him.”

"Another year, another birthday…ughhhh your big brother’s getting old, Shanny. You’d totally tease me if you saw me right now, yeah yeah, I can already hear you laughing it up, I’m over here slowly withering away while you get to be young and beautiful forever…I bet you’re super famous now, heaven’s most precious angel, real fitting for you, lil sis.”

“Yo ‘Taru! It’s good to see you ol’ buddy ol’ pal of mine, finally had enough of sitting in that old stuffy office? Yes, yes, I know, you’re always oh so serious especially when it comes to work, come on man, live a little! It’s my birthday so you have to! A-ah! Wait don’t throw my present away!”

“O-oh wooooooow! It’s…what I always wanted, man, you’re a real natural at gift giving, I think you might a have a talent here-yeah okay, I’ll stop…I mean it’s not terrible, honestly it’s about what I expected from you, which is a good thing! At least they’re colored.”

“Ky! Hey man, what’s up? How you’ve been? I know you had to go back to the states for something, ‘top secret’ huh? Yeeeeeeah, I don’t think that’s the case but I’ll leave it alone, for now, good to have you back though! Eh? A gift? Hell yeah, dude! Whatcha got?”

“Siiiiick! I’ve been meaning to get another one of these! My old one doesn’t work anymore, plus it’s all sticky and gross…NO NOT FROM THAT! It’s sticky and gross from all the times I’ve been eating over it! C’mon man, I’m not that much of a degen-…oh shut up and give me that.”

Wataru Lines:

“Happy birthday, Joey. Not even five minutes and I already want to leave, first of all, I take my job seriously and it would benefit you greatly to do the same and second, I am living just fine, I don’t need your assistance. If you’re going to behave like this then I’ll just take my leave and send this back. Good, here you go.”

“For someone so good at calling others on their BS, you sure are an awful liar, Kurusu, just say what you really mean and spare both of us the theatrics. Yes, well, I figured you could always use extra pens, god only knows how you run out of so many so quick so I took the liberty of getting you more, I would’ve gotten you more suitable ones like black, red, or blue but they were out unfortunately.”

Kyler Lines:

“Hey Joey, happy birthday, yeah sorry for leaving for a while but I talked it over with Wataru and he was cool with it. Hm? Sorry pal but that’s top secret information, whatever man, I’m still not telling you, anyways, I’m glad I made it on time, I got you a gift too, yeah, here.”

“Yeah I remember you kept complaining about how your old keyboard kept freezing up and not working on you so I got you a new one. Look, I’m not one to judge what a person does on their free time but maybe cut back on the mas-oh, well still, maybe don’t do that. C’mon man, I’ve seen your fyp, you are not fooling anyone with that bullshit.”

[cloudyships42]

Passion Thoughts!

Hi, hello, two today because this is my favorite episode(im a bit of a nathalie simp)

This is my favorite episode…

GOD IM GAY

Alya makes a point

Oh Adrien

Bananas?

NATHALIE

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Your pancakes just suck

Nathalie is speaking from experience :((

She's so confused :(

He's so happy

“How about Gabe while we’re at it” SMACKING THAT CHILDHOOD TRAUMA FOR REAL THIS TIME

The girls are fighting

“Hey Google, is it possible to get divorced if you were never married?"

I feel so bad for her :(

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, the kitchen colors are amazing

SMACK DOWN

don't touch me.

The door is still wide open-

GUYS DON'T FUCK WITH THE DOOR OPEN!

"No >:("

Poor girl, she didn't sign up for a heart attack

Getting along… yeah

HER ROOM

IM SORRY BUT I LOVE IT

it's so much more homey than the rest of the house

It fits her so well :)

But seriously, poor girl

Secret safe gang!

LESBIANS

Spell it with me!

L

E

S

B

I

A

N

S

NO DON'T CRY

~ Mood lighting ~

BACKSTORY

GIVE US MORE

PLEASE

MOMMY

She's bi, I'm sorry

“Falling in love was… complicated…” because you were confused about which one it was huh girliepop?

Parent/Son bond :)

His eyes lit up when she said that

Also his ears look like rubber

Dude shut up

He's so worried for Nathalie :(

GOSH I’M GOING TO CRY

Dramatic kitty

God I need to see her in that-

MOMMY-

I-

not me simping

She took control of him

Bottom Gabriel™

Guys stop flirting

GOD SHE'S SO-

AAAAAAAAAAAH

ROASTED

GOD SHE'S SO HOT

SHE COULD KILL ME AND I WOULD THANK HER

Hot!

“Hey, that's not fair!”

“I’m not even an influencer! #Run!”

A gentleman

Is the alliance tracker system like life360?

No Adrien. No.

Newton's third law!

We love a good kinky woman!

Blackmail!

TELL THEM

SLAY QUEEN

He's so emotional

Nice looking. Nice looking. Not directly at the tits… tits

TITS

AAAAAH

instant collapse

Worried? Actually worried?? Maybe???

Mama Nathalie :)

DON'T MAKE ME CRY

Mama…

[haemosexuality]

FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET I MEAN IT!!!!!!!

my thoughts on the movie UwU

ok first of i LOVED what they did with mike's character???? its different from the games canon (or different from the most popular theories??? i can never remember what is actually canon and whats accepted fanon) but its sooooo interesting. making him the brother of one of the victims was SO unexpected but it worked really really well. tho going into the movie with preconceived notions ab the story fucked me up somewhat bc i took so long to accept he wasnt michael afton 😣 tho i feel the movie mightve been setting fans up that way lol

on that note his brother confused me somewhat? cuz he was one of the missing children but he wasnt one of the 5 spirits was he??? maybe he was and i just didnt notice KSBSKDBSKD ill look out for it on my second watch

WILLIAM. MOTHER FUCKING AFTON. OH MY GODDDDDDD THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE and honestly seeing everyones reaction to it was SO cool. when springtrap appeared everyone screamed and clapped. when he started dying everyone screamed and clapped even louder. and when he said "I ALWAYS COME BACK" everyone LOST THEIR FUCKING MIND SCREAMING CRYING YELLING CLAPPING WHOOPING IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD

AND THE VANESSA REVEAL????? i think thats completely different from game vanessa lore mostly bc william aftons daughter in the game was elizabeth/baby and shes fucking dead but idk vanessa lore so who knows. all i know is that it WORKED MAN i did NOT see that coming but i HONESTLY REALLY LIKED IT AND AGAIN EVERYONE IN THE THEATER LOST THEIR MINDS WE WERE ALL LIKE "WHAT?????" (edit: i saw an youtuber point out that this cant be the same vanessa from sb bc this is set in like the 90s and sb's in the future. maybe this is something like, they put two vanessas so we know that sometimes different characters just have the same name and dont get too hang up on mike smith vs michael afton lol)

i also like how they did williams character. i usually dont like purely evil 2d villains but i feel that fits afton way more than "sad scientist goes insane cuz he lost his kid oh no :(". like it just fits fnaf!!!!!!!

another thing that was completely different from the game was the animatronics. like in the game theyre "like animals" but in the movie they all seemed very, aware??? msking decisions? they def had a mind and it was cheesy sure but i also liked it. i just loved this movie. and everything about it. i went into it knowing it was absolutely not going to be 1:1 with the game so i dont mind im just so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IMMEDIATELY STARTING WITH A JOKE ON DREAM THEORY LMFAOOOOOOOO. "SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IT"

MATPAT? MOTHERFUCKING MATPAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

THE EASTER EGGS!!! THE REFERENCES!!!!!! THERE WERE SO MANY AND THEY MADE ME WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY EVERY TIME OH MY GOD

im not gonna remember all of them but I WANT THE MIDNIGHT MOTORIST HOODIE

max did NOT deserve to die that upset me. she was fine!!!!!!!

also the violence wasnt anything super crazy but it was def more than i expected. also they swore

THE ANIMATRONICS ARE SO FUCKING COOL DUDE OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE REAL

also golden freddy wasnt a girl in the movie. F cassidy

i like mikes character sooooo much ive said so before and im saying it again. vanessa too

THE SONG THE FUCKING SONG THE LIVING TOMBSTONE PLAYING IN THE FUCKINF CREDITS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE

this one is only for the brazilians in here but i actually liked the dub? this sentiment might change after i watch the og version but it wasnt terrible. williams voice was 10/10

balloon boy was funny every single time. fuck this bitch. also the cupcake

THE ITS MEEEEEEEEEEE i wish they did more its mes BUT I SAW THAT!!!

the scene were mike calls abby to the kitchen so they could 'talk' and the aunt was there.... actually broke my heart how dare you

i missed phone guy 😭

OH IM PRETTY SURE I SAW THE FAKE DOG ANIMATRONIC PEOPLE THOUGHT EXISTED YEARS AGO???? I DONT REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT I THINK HE WAS THERE IN THE LIKE STORAGE PLACE i might be crazy tho dont quote me

i thought i wouldnt like it but i love how expressive freddy is its so funny. chica bonnie n foxy too but him especially

ok i those were all my immediate thoughts!!! i wrote this a few hours ago when id JUST gotten back from the theater and now im gonna go watch it again so bye <3