#like nope I’m socially inept

[skibasyndrome]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

thank you so much to @lollygirlpops, @themarsbar & @hergrandplan for tagging me in this <3<3<3

do you make your bed?

nope, not unless I'm feeling veeeery motivated (which hasn't happened in a while)

what's your favourite number?

Hmmm, I don't really have one I think, but I do really like 2 and 4 and 8. Those just "feel" right, you know?

what is your job?

I’m a university student :) Aaaaaand since Monday I'm working part-time as a (and I hope this is the correct English translation) teaching and research assistant

if you could go back to school, would you?

Hmm, if we're talking about school-school, no I don't think so. I used to say that, but I think with having experienced uni now I wouldn't like to be put back into that rigid system. If we're talking about uni though: I never ever eeeever wanna leave, so I guess that's a yes, haha

can you parallel park?

I can't even drive to begin with, whoops

a job you had that would surprise people?

Hmmm, I don't think I've had too many unusual jobs. I used to work in hospitality every summer and then one summer I had a reeeeally cool job where I worked as a stage technician but since I'm kinda doing stuff with theater now in uni as well maybe that's not so surprising?

do you think aliens are real?

I think the universe is too big for us to be the only life form out there, but I don't think aliens are out here trying to abduct people or something like that

can you drive a manual car?

Again 😅 No driving for me (and I never even tried once)

what's your guilty pleasure?

Honestly I ~technically~ don't think that you should feel guilty about anything that brings you joy if it's not harming anyone buuuuuut, in the sense that I need to be very careful not to neglect all other parts of my life over it: maybe fic writing 😅

tattoos?

Yes! I have a very tiny one that I got myself for my recent birthday :)

it's the tiny heart that Simon drew on Wille's hand <3

favorite color?

I don't think I have one! But because I have pavlov-ed myself into always thinking of yr when I see it I've been loving purple a lot recently

favorite type of music?

My taste in music is aaaaall over the place tbh. I wanna say something like indie or alternative rock or something like that? But I just listen to anything that feels kinda catchy and/or is lyrically strong

do you like puzzles?

Meh, I'm never in the mood to do them tbh

any phobias?

Not severely, but I generally don't do all too well in tightly packed crowds when I don't have my escape plan ready. Oh and certain social situations that could lead to me being judged for being inept. I always like to say that my biggest fear is being an embarrassment and while that sounds ridiculous it's also very, very true

favorite childhood sport?

I never really did much of anything sports-wise, but I used to love swimming before I discovered that swimming means Being Perceived (TM) and then I started hating it lmao

do you talk to yourself?

definitely inside my head, but occasionally also out loud when I'm alone. especially when I need to get a grip and follow a plan I made

what movies do you adore?

I generally don't watch a lot of movies, but I enjoyed Hereditary enough to watch it twice with my friends

coffee or tea?

I like both, but I loooove coffeeeeeeeee

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

the first "thing" I wanted to be was probably a mermaid lmao. job-wise I think I cycled through eeeeverything, but I think some of the early ideas were painter or author or zookeeper

Onward tagging: I kinda lost track of who did this and who didn't, but I'm just gonna go ahead and (no pressure) tag @toffeelemon, @mintycurry, @pagegirlintraining, @irenes-diary, @royalwilmon, @goldenwilmon & anyone who feels like doing it :)

[perryjackpott]

I appreciate the tag, @reportinglivefromsoda​ 

named after someone?

Yes, some religious figure

last time i cried?

Don’t remember exactly when but not too long ago (college life sucks)

do you have kids?

Nope and not planning

do you use sarcasm?

Of course not

first thing you notice about someone?

How they react to my social ineptness

eye color?

Dark brown, almost black

scary movies or happy endings.

Happy endings please. Thinking about my future is already scary enough.

special talents?

Listing things obsessively

place of birth?

PH

hobbies?

Currently obsessed with language learning. I also like to journal.

pets?

Strays just visit all the time

sports you’ve played?

I’m not really sporty. But I’m okay with badminton. We also had a swimming PE class. I’ve also dabbled in Taekwondo for a brief period.

height?

Well...

fave school subject?

Anything about science. But it mostly depends on the teacher/professor

dream job?

Something related to health sciences. And maybe computers. Idk

tagging (no pressure): @delightful-fear​, @wecanliveinsideofamoment​, @ajz0626​, and anyone who sees this and feels like answering

Okay, let's do this, and hope i do it rightXDD.Thank you so much to both @cantag-curtis and @lil-melody for tagging mee!! <33

Are you named after anyone?

Yess, I'm named after my grandma!

When was the last time you cried?

Umm, probably last week.

Do you have kids?

No, but if I find a good partner, I'd love too!! I've been told a few times, that I would be a good parent :))

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Ummm.... yess XDD

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Probably smile :) As someone who smiles a lot, I would like to find other people that also smile a lot! I also think that smile makes people more attractive, so definitely smile guys!!

What's your eye color?

Brown!!

Scary movies or happy endings?

To be honest, I like it when both are combined. Like, a scary movie, lots of saspence, and then a happy ending!

Any special talents?

Not really tbh XDD

Where were you born?

I was born in Athens!

What are your hobbies?

I draw, listen to music and spend time with ftiends!

(Idk if this is considered a hobby, but I collect things like keychains, bottle caps, beads, CDs and old coins!)

Do you have any pets?

Yesss, a cat named Luna!!!!

What sports do you play/have played?

I used to be in a volleyball team at my school, back in 6th grade. It was really fun, but at some point we had a new teacher come to the school, and she was really mean to everyone, commenting on our weight and skills, and the whole thing became really toxic, so I stopped going there. I still enjoy volleyball when I have P.E. though!!

How tall are you?

I'm 1.7m/5.6 feet

Favorite subject in school?

It used to be art, but ghis year, I don't have it. So that makes literature my favorite. I have a lovely teacher and we do a lot of interesting things!!

Dream job?

I would love to find a job that involves art, because I really enjoy it. In the future, I'm also planning on going to an art school, so I can practise it more and improve some things I want about it!!

Okay, that's all, I'll tag 15 mutuals -> @larsgoingtomars @theariesarmy @therockywhorerpictureshow @w0rldl0ngg0ne @reportinglivefromsoda @malakianwhvre @clevercatnerd @imnotm4ri4 @incorrigibledecomposition @slipknotsynchronizedheadbang @itsdareeeh @the-blitzzings @buryymeinblack @mikeyforreal @teeth0wner

[helpimhyperfixating]

Princess reader x assassin Jotaro for the 1000 follower event?? She falls in love with him without knowing he's an assassin. When she proposes to him, he comes to terms with his feelings and doesnt want to be an assassin anymore??? Hope this isnt too long ,,

Oh no, don’t worry, it’s the perfect length! Could have even been way longer ^^ After all, the more info I have, the better I can execute it! I hope you like :3

Also, starting this event off with Jotaro because of course we gotta have da boi. I built this blog on an empire of Joot simps after all

Follower event request rules! ^^

Glances in the hallways - Assassin!Jotaro x Princess!Reader

Word count: 2734

Glimpses in the evening, glances in the afternoon, greetings in the early morning. No matter what day or moment, somewhere, somewhen, he was there.

The man dressed in all black, a simple woollen vest over a shirt, several belts hanging from his pants, yet all of it in that darned colour.

Jotaro kujo was a man of few words, an absolute wall when it came to conversation. He didn’t need them, not when it came to his line of work. And yet somehow, he had wormed his way into your heart.

Life in the castle wasn’t as rosy sunshine as your father would have everyone believe. Mistakes and troubles went unspoken and punished unseen while wars were fought in silence. You despised it all. That’s why you often wandered through the capital’s streets. There was no need to sneak out or be secretive about it, all you had to do was dress normally and you were allowed to walk for as long as you wanted.

That’s how you met him.

It was no secret to you of what Jotaro was. His frequent visits to the castle told you enough. An assassin by heart, he was the unofficial killer of the court, oftentimes called in to get handed a job, not to return until it was completed.

And while this man absolutely reeked of it, death did not bother you.

To you, Jotaro was the socially inept giant. A brute who - while never afraid to speak his mind - was skittish by nature. Avoiding all social interactions if he could, he stuck to the side in a crowd, somehow - despite his large and imposing size - never being seen if he chose to. Yet his curt way of speaking and no-nonsense personality endeared you.

Assassination paid well, so there were large periods of time between jobs where Jotaro didn’t have to do anything, simply existing in the city like any other. And those were the moments you chose to bother him.

You can’t even remember how it started. From one day to another he was just in your life.

-

“Don’t walk there, you will fall.”

Looking down at him from the knee-high wall you were balancing on, you scoffed. “Oh no, whatever will I do if I fall from this incredible height and - god forbid - scrape my knee.”

Glaring up at you, Jotaro held up his hand, intent to have you grab it so he could help you down. Instead however, you just swatted it away.

“Stop trying to make me a nun. I do have some common sense you know. And even if I fall it’s my own fault.”

“I’m highly doubting you have common sense.” Jotaro remarked, seeming pissed, but you just saw he was throwing a hissy fit, making you laugh.

“You’re so boring, always being ‘careful’ and ‘cautious’” You put on a mocking voice for the last two, seeing the man get ticked off, gnashing his teeth in silence while his eyebrow twitched.

“I have to be, you damn idiot.”

“You’re not working, lighten up.” You let out an exasperated groan, throwing your head back, which caused you to lose balance for a bit, quickly making you pinwheel your arms to stay upright while Jotaro jolted, holding his arms out in a flash to catch you, only for you to regain your balance.

“This is exactly why I have to be!” He snapped and you laughed the adrenaline off, your heart settling down after your near slip. Seeing you stand steady again, Jotaro subtly sighed in relief and brought his arms back to his sides. “You’re a pain.”

“Aww, but you love me.” You tilted your head far towards him, making the man scowl as he turned his head away.

“Fuck off.”

“Nope.” Laughing at the deadpan he sported, you then suddenly stopped walking. As soon as Jotaro noticed and went to turn to look at you, you had jumped from the wall onto him.

Grunting at the impact, the man in black stumbled while you clung to his back like a monkey, giggling loudly while he was left to try and stay upright. “Y/N!” He called out in exasperation, only met with your manic giggles. Your legs were hooked around his waist, causing your dress to hike up and a light blush to appear on his face. Jotaro himself blamed the colour of his face on the way your arms were asphyxiating him however.

“Let’s go horsie!” With the way your legs were crossed and hooked around him, you couldn’t exactly spur him, so instead you squeezed your thighs, making Jotaro’s eyes widen in slight inner panic.

“One more move and I’m throwing you off.” He threatened and you merely scoffed.

“Oh please, I know you constantly worry for my safety just because I’m ‘the princess’, you don’t have the guts to actually do something that might hurt me.”

Squinting his eyes, Jotaro didn’t take too kindly to your words’ implications and turned to his right.

Making a tiny confused noise, you didn’t get much more time than that as Jotaro’s hands reached up, one grabbing your arm and one fisting the material of your dress on your back. And with a quick move he shot forward, bending at the waist and pulling, flipping you over his head and off his back so fast you couldn’t even process it.

Thudding harshly on your back, you wheezed as you looked up with wide eyes, seeing Jotaro standing over you - upside down with how you were positioned. The man held a tiny smirk as he walked to your side and crouched down, flipping your dress back over your legs until you were decent.

“Don’t test me, princess.”

Letting out a breath, you finally looked down at yourself, seeing he had flipped you into a bush, cushioning your fall. “You’re mean.”

“Don’t start acting prissy now.” He rolled his eyes a little but you saw it was in good nature, making you huff out a chuckle while you sat up. As you did, he retracted his hand from the end of your dress which he had dutifully still been pressing down.

No matter what he did, you would never tire of seeing his face, and you knew that the fondness in your chest that swelled for him was much more than friendship.

- - - -

Walking through the halls, you stopped by one of the large windows reaching from floor to ceiling.

Four days ago, Jotaro had gotten another job - though this one was different from the rest.

He had left without so much as a word, all you’d gotten was a note that night, saying ‘see you in a few days’. It was unusual and you’d gone to your father to get your questions answered, only for him to spike you with worry and anxiety.

Jotaro was sent - on his own - to kill the army general of the neighbouring kingdom you were at war with. The exact army general who was currently in the middle of his army, stationed by your borders.

That night you had screamed at your father, berating and accusing him for so long you lost your voice the next day.

Jotaro’s note was the only thing you were holding onto now. Yet four days passed, six days passed, twelve days passed…

The few days on the note turned into two weeks without Jotaro returning.

Most of your days were now spent reading or wandering the castle. You couldn’t bring yourself to go into the city, not anymore, not without him. And you were avoiding your father like the plague. He knew you were mad at him so he gave you some space. At least he did that right.

Resting your hands on the windowsill, you sighed softly, only for something to suddenly compel you to turn around.

Turning inconspicuously, you nearly tripped right where you stood as you saw a familiar form slumped into the wall.

He hadn’t even noticed you, just bent forward with his head down to the floor as he slowly shuffled on, his shoulder pressed to the wall at all times. Yet the red trail he left behind himself was plenty of reason for you to realise why he was moving like that.

“Jotaro!” Your shout made him look up and he squinted, his vision completely blurred from pain.

Running over to him, your eyes watered as you properly took him in now. His left hand was cradling the right side of his stomach, the wool of his vest wet with blood while his hand was drenched, in vain trying to stelp the bleeding that had soaked through everything and was leaving a trail in the carpeted halls.

“Jotaro. Oh, Jotaro...” You sniffled a bit as you cupped his face, turning him to look at you as you saw him struggling to raise his head on his own.

“Y/N…” Only now had your voice properly registered for him. For the last day or so, his mind had only been focused on getting home to finish the job. He was too weak to have more than one thought. Yet now- your hands were so warm on his cheeks…

You watched as his eyes slowly closed and he leaned forward into your touch. His face was as white as a sheet and the contrast between the colour of his cheeks and your hands was startling. Especially when, as he leaned in, he nearly collapsed forward into you, had it not been for him snapping his eyes open at the last moment and stumbling to catch himself by grabbing your hip with his blood soaked hand.

He quickly put his weight back on the wall, his breath laboured as he returned to putting pressure on the wound in his stomach. “I-“

You didn’t even let him get beyond that. “You’re coming with me.” Your voice was a lot less steady and authoritative than you wanted it to be, the shake in it betraying your emotions to seeing the man you loved on death’s door.

And he really was if you didn’t get him treated soon.

Worming your way between his body and the wall, you took your place on his right side, slinging his arm over your shoulder. Your hip to his, you slowly felt the blood seep into the fabric of your dress but you couldn’t be bothered to give a shit. “Come on, big boy.” You whispered, raising him up as best you could and you instantly saw his face morph into pain, a grunt unwittingly leaving him.

Looking at him in worry, only now did you notice the broken off arrow shafts sticking from the back of his shoulder and you bit your lip hard to stay calm and composed.

Tears in your waterline, you started making your way to your bedroom, only for Jotaro to move his head a bit sluggishly. “I have to… to-“

Already knowing what he was getting at, you weren’t going to let him waste more energy by talking. “I’ll get someone to deliver your return and success to the king. You’re coming with me.”

Nodding a little, Jotaro just let his head hang as he limped along with you, his left leg dragging while he walked as best he could.

Along the way you came across several servants, the first of which you sent to get medical supplies while the rest you simply dismissed. They’d probably tattle to your dad that you were taking Jotaro where he shouldn’t be but you were still mad at him and didn’t care enough to try to stop them.

Finally getting to your room, you placed Jotaro on your bed upright, keeping him sitting.

His mind was completely gone as he just tried his best to blink and stay awake, too much blood lost to realise his pain.

Working quickly, you yanked two arrowheads from his back. One beneath his right shoulder and one in his lower back. Wasting no further time, you took off his vest, throwing it somewhere behind you into a corner before you focused on his shirt. It was drenched and you had to peel it free from his skin.

Jotaro was sitting bare chested in your room but this was nothing like when you’d dreamily imagined it.

Wiping your nose with the unbloodied back of your hand, the medicinal supplies were soon delivered and you’d gotten to work.

For a long time you treated Jotaro.

The wound in his stomach turned out to be from a spear. After assassinating the general, a soldier had walked into the tent right as Jotaro was getting out, catching him and stabbing him. The assassin had managed to kill him too but his shout had alarmed the camp and while he escaped, Jotaro was forced to take three arrows as he did, his left thigh a surprise wound to you, though it was the worst next to his stomach.

Yet somehow… Somehow he made it back to you, and as he lay recovering in your bed for the next few days, you realised you didn’t want to lose him.

- - - -

“What?”

“Marry me.”

Jotaro’s heart thudded heavily in his chest as he looked at you with an incredulous look.

For the past week he had been bedridden in the castle, in the bed of the princess for fuck’s sake. And said princess had taken care of him 24/7.

“Why would you say that?” Jotaro swallowed heavily as all he could do was stare up at you from where he was slightly propped up in the pillows.

Slowly, you got onto your knees next to the bed, Jotaro following your every move, his brain still trying to catch up. Taking his hand in yours, you sat on his left side for a little bit, trying to get your thoughts in order.

“Because. I realised that I don’t want to be without you, Jotaro. I knew a long time ago that I was in love with you. I didn’t know if you returned my feelings and still don’t but- these past three weeks-“ Your voice shifted up in pitch as you shot full, swallowing back the bubble in your throat as you tried to keep your emotions in check, tried to refrain from crying. You failed. “I was so worried for you every second, fearing you wouldn’t come back. And when you did I still nearly lost you.” Tears were dribbling down your cheeks, your nose stuffed as you just blubbered through your words, holding onto Jotaro’s hand like a lifeline.

The man himself was forced to just watch. With every few words coming out of your mouth, his heart seemed to beat faster and more violently against his ribcage. You… loved him? Even more, you wanted to marry him? Did you really love him that much? But… did he-?

As if hit by a mace in the face, Jotaro’s heart leapt into his throat as he realised. The way he felt at ease around you, the way he could let his guard down, the way his heart beat when you touched him in some way, the way he felt a warmth fill him whenever you were near. All of it. All of it had always been… had he just not realised?

Blinking out of his thoughts, he suddenly realised you were still blubbering out words and he pulled his hand from your grip to instead cup your cheek.

This startled you into silence as you simply looked at the man laying before you. His entire abdomen wrapped in bandages, use of his right arm impossible due to the way his shoulder was wrapped in, merely some loose pants on him as clothing, hiding the way his left thigh was wrapped tight as well.

Jotaro’s thumb wiped away a tear as you only now noticed the soft look on his face. “Shut up, you idiotic royal and kiss me.”

Feeling a relief wash over you, you nervously got up and leaned forward, Jotaro’s hand never leaving your cheek as you softly leaned in, nervous until Jotaro pulled you down to meet his lips, not willing to wait.

It may have taken some years and nearly dying, but Jotaro realised there was more for him than just his purpose. And especially as your soft lips were so delicately mashing together with his, he realised that being your husband sounded a lot more appealing than being an assassin.

[pangur-and-grim]

nobody asked, but here are the anime shows im watching this season, in order of Goodness

To Your Eternity: an orb is given sentience and thrown into the world to experience life. in terms of emotion, the first episode is like the first 10 minutes of Up. the animation is beautiful, the story is beautiful, the show’s only imperfection is that I get weepy when an episode ends and I have to wait a whole week for the next one.

So I’m A Spider So What: this is only ranked second because To Your Eternity is god tier. god I love this anime spider so much......like is the animation great? not really, there’s a lot of janky CGI and weird zoom-ins to cover a lack of movement. is the 50% of the show focussing on the human characters that interesting? nope, you really have to grit your teeth and wait those bits out. but is the anime spider the only thing keeping me going in 2021? YES, OF COURE, YES. literally it doesnt need to be good, this spider is so cute and charismatic and fun to watch that the show’s creator could run over my foot in a Honda and I'd still be praising it on twitter from the hospital.

Full Dive: This Ultimate Next-Gen Full Dive RPG Is Even Shittier than Real Life!: the main character is this inept guy who is a social disgrace irl for piss-related reasons (it’s a big reveal later on), who gets scammed into buying a video game by a big-titted lady who joins him in the game as a big-titted fairy. the game is this futuristic VR thing that simulates pain/hunger/fatigue/etc, and he has an awful shitty time in it. I don’t know why I find this so compelling but it’s honestly fun to watch!

The Saint's Magic Power Is Omnipotent: so charmingly mediocre. very soothing to watch. this lady gets summoned to another world to be a magical saint, and for a few episodes they’re like “hold up this other lady may actually be the saint?”, and then they’re like “wait no you’re the saint, and your magic is so special and powerful”. the lady becomes beautiful by applying magic cosmetics, and the handsome guy characters are all vying for her affection, and everyone thinks she’s special and sweet and loves her so much. like I keep waiting for the twist and it never comes, this show is entirely about how a random Japanese woman has a pleasant fairytale life. 

[allzelemonz]

‘Hit If Off’: Oswald Cobblepot X Male Reader

When your friends said you need more socialization you gave him your dirtiest look.

“You’re one to talk, Ed.”

“At least I go to work, you just sit there all day.”

“Work?”

“It may not be a traditional way of employment, but yes.” Ed gave you a look of annoyance over the frame of his glasses.

“Why do you want me to go out so bad?”

“In truth?” Ed raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Ed, tell me.”

“There’s this guy that won’t leave me alone and I need him to stop.”

“You want me to beat him up?” You gave your nerdy friend an odd look. Maybe he was going a bit too far into this whole Riddler thing.

“No, no, I just need him to be obsessed with someone, anyone other than me.”

“Oh, so you have an admirer?”

“Yes.” Ed confirmed.

“And you don’t like that?”

“Indeed.”

“And what is it you want me to do?”

“Just introduce yourself to him, he’ll love you.” Ed made his way to your closet and began throwing things around.

“Woah, wait, what’s in it for me?”

Ed turned to you with a bit of a grin of his face. “Why you, my dear friend, get to be floundered over by a rich man that will never stop loving you if you play it right.”

“Your friend is essentially a sugar daddy, Ed.”

Ed stopped to think for a moment. “I suppose, not much of a daddy.”

You let out a laugh that made Ed blush. He quickly shoved an assortment of clothes at you to get you to stop.

“Shut up and get dressed.”

“Sure thing, Eddie.” You grinned. “Just make sure you keep that daddy-dar under wraps.”

“(Y/n), I mean this in a friendly way, but shut up or that window will become a door.”

“Gotcha.” You nodded along to the half-hearted threat.

Ed had given you one of your standard outfits that you’d wear when you wanted to look attractive. That’s what made him a good friend, he knew you enough to pick an outfit that you would have yourself. He knew how much skin you were willing to show and how many layers you wanted.

“So what’s your stalker’s name?” You asked, now standing in front of a club while Ed picked lint off of your shoulder.

“Oswald.”

“As in Cobblepot?” You asked, pointing up at the club sign.

“Yep.”

“You want me to flirt with the Penguin?”

“He’s your type and you’re his.”

“How is that, Ed?”

“You’re both men.”

“That’s all you got! Really?” You sighed. “Ed, you’re asking me to flirt with a crime lord and the only reassurance that he won’t kill me is that I’m a guy.”

“I never said you had to flirt.”

“Ed!”

“What?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“I forget how socially inept you are sometimes.”

“I am not.”

“File girl.” You fake coughed out.

“Fine, fine, but this idea was more of…”

“Oh, so your villainous persona came up with this?”

“He’s better at social things.”

“That window you mentioned is gonna be your exit the next time you’re at my place.”

“(Y/n), please.” Ed grounded your heywire thoughts. “I really think this is worth it.”

You looked into Ed’s stupid, but truthful eyes and sighed. He really has a puppy-dog face when he tries.

“Fine, but if I die I’m gonna haunt you.”

Ed brought you into the club with a hand on your shoulder so you didn't get separated. The music was Jazz-centric and there were people all around drinking and talking. It wasn’t an overwhelming environment, just a comfortable one. Ed led you to the bar where you recognized the Penguin himself sat at the far end with a half drank glass of whiskey as he fussed over something in a black notebook.

“Oswald!” Ed called.

The Penguin looked up from the book. The sour look that had been on his face disappeared as soon as he saw Ed.

“Edward!’ The Penguin beamed. “I was just wondering where you were.”

“I was just getting my friend.: Ed turned to you. “This is (Y/n).”

Oswald’s eyes moved from Ed’s face to scan over you and there was a moment of lingering when he met your eyes. It took him a few moments to compose himself.

“A pleasure to meet you.” He stuck out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Oswald.”

He had a smile on your face that you couldn't quite tell if it was false or not.

“A pleasure to meet you too.” You shook his hand.

“Now, I have some things to attend to, but (Y/n) is sure to keep you company.” Ed let out his excuse like a child that just wanted to go play.

“Are you sure I can’t help, Ed?” Oswald questioned.

“Nope, just personal business.” Ed explained. “I’ll be back later. You two get acquainted.”

Ed scurried away like a mouse before anything else could be said. Oswald starred in the direction he had gone for a few seconds before he gestured for you to sit. You did so.

“So, how do you know Ed?” The crime lord asked.

“We’ve been friends for years, don’t really remember how we met.” You gave him a small smile. “When he started this whole Riddler thing I wanted to help, so here I am.”

The conversation went on like that for a while. The two of you talking about Ed. But, after a while you started talking about each other. The more you talked to Oswald the more you liked him. He was quite cute and well spoken. You couldn’t help but to get lost in his face as he spoke. He seemed to have forgotten about the little book he was writing in.

“Would you like to move this conversation to my office, (Y/n)?”

Your heart stopped momentarily at the question.

“Sure.” Was all you could force out of your shocked face.

Oswald gathered his things and began to lead you into the back part of the club. You took note of the famous limp that carried his nickname on. Oswald opened the door and shut it behind you. You took your time to peer around the office. It was a modest size for being in the back of a club. You met Oswald by his desk as he sat his things down.

“Did Ed say why he brought you here tonight?” Oswald asked.

“He said that we’d hit it off, that’s all.”

“Forgive me,” Oswald laughed off the odd question. “It’s just in a business like this one has to watch their back.”

“It’s alright, Oswald.”

The man looked over to you with a gleam in his eye that you’d seen when he first saw Ed earlier that night.

“I have an odd request, (Y/n)” Oswald said with certainty.

“A request?” You questioned as Oswald fidgeted where he stood.

“Could you tell me the truth?”

“Of course.” You nodded.

“If I were to kiss you, would you regret it.” Oswald’s way of questioning was odd.

“No.” You answered plainly.

Oswald’s face had grown gradually redder all night but was now the color of a cherry. You took a step closer to him and his eyes met yours.

“May I?” He asked timidly.

You gave him a quick nod. Oswald didn’t waste any time. One hand cupped your cheek while the other went around your waist. His lips met yours in a heated kiss, one he must have been waiting for all night. You fell into place and enjoyed the moment. Oswald was passionate in his action and refused to loosen his hold on you at all.

Your hand went up to his hair. You had been dying to touch it all night. The way it perfectly fell into place made you want to mess it up. Now as your hands went through it you could fell those butterflies in your stomach going crazy. You pulled at his hair lightly and Oswald let out a moan. He pushed you up against his desk and broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Is this what Ed meant by hitting it off?” He asked between breaths.

“Probably.”

“Good.”

Oswald kissed you again. His hands at your waistband now settling a knee between your legs. You pushed yourself up onto his desk and he moved to stand between your thighs. You could feel his hardness against your own as he started to unfasten your pants.

The door creaked open and caught your attention right away. Oswald was about to yell, but calmed himself when he saw it was Ed. You sighed at the sight of your friend, thankfully you were both still fully clothed.

“Well, it seems like you hit it off after all.” Ed smiled to himself. “I’ll, just, uh…” Ed began to close the door.

“Ed!” Oswald called out.

Ed stopped in his tracks. Oswald cleared his throat and turned to you.

“Perhaps it’s best if we stop and get to know one another first.”

“Sure.” You smile at the thoughtfulness. Oswald didn’t want some one night stand, he wanted a relationship.

“I’ll see you both soon.” Oswald announced as he backed away and allowed you to stand.

You gave him a goodbye kiss then made your way to where Ed was waiting.

“See you soon, Oswald.”

[bequeerdodopemonkshit]

FAQ I get asked when I tell people I'm aromantic

So coming out as Aromantic has been interesting. It’s been like seven or so months — probably more (I’m having a hard time keeping track of time right now due to trauma-brain). And other than one instance of someone unstable losing their absolute shit on me, the response from my community has been positive. It’s because I have a good community. And I do my best to keep it that way.

I don’t have anyone on my friends list or in my immediate cohort of people that has exclusionist or aphobic or transphobic views.

So my experience coming out has been as follows (condensed for the sake of brevity):

Me: “I think I might be a Bisexual Girl?, maybe?” People: “Cool.” Me: “Nope. Def gay. And def Non Binary.” People: “Cool.” Me: “So… I’m an Aromantic Non Binary Lesbian. I’m almost 80% sure this is my final Pokemon queervolution.” People: “Cool.”

I’ve been blessed with quality people.

That being said I think the most push back I’ve gotten is from a transphobic relative that I limit my interactions with as they seem to think that my identity has something to do with my politics. Yeah, because there isn’t any homophobia, transphobia, aphobia, misogyny, and racism on the Left— especially in radical spaces. Nope.

However, I do get a lot of questions. And I want to take the time to answer them according to my experience as a romance-positive/ish Aromantic person.

So what does Aromantic mean?

In short, I experience no romantic attraction.

I think in my almost four decades on this planet I have felt the warm and fuzzies for a single person who I will never ever mention by name (because she doesn’t need her ego hyped up anymore than it already is) and even then that had more to do with trauma bonding than actual romantic attraction.

Does this mean [I am] also Asexual?

No. AroAce folx exist. One of my platonic life partners is one such person. But just as there are Asexual people who experience romantic attraction, I am one such Aromantic person who experiences sexual attraction.

What is romantic attraction anyway?

My peeps, my niblings, my precious bbs— I. Have. No. Fucking idea.

From what I’ve gleaned from conversations, romantic attraction feels like— a panic attack that you really like for some fucking reason. Butterflies in the stomach. That sensation of tripping over something that moment before you catch yourself or eat shit when it can go either way. The way time stands still when you see that person. Your heart speeds up. And it almost feels like you can’t quite catch your breath (not in the unfun covid way).

So you know, like a fucking panic attack. Why would you like to have a panic attack is beyond me but hey, some people drive at unsafe speeds, or spend billions of dollars to not even go to fucking space when they could totally and completely end world hunger so, I suppose it is not beyond the realm of my understanding that there is a type of enjoyable panic attack.

I’ve felt Queer Panic™ the panic at the realization that the nebulous feelings one is having toward one or more individuals is in fact very, very fucking gay. Side effects include:

• Suddenly loss of remembering words or their function • Nervous laughter • Either “I want to hang out and do gay things with this person” or “We can never speak again.” There is no in-between. • *Flounce* • Reddening of face whenever someone even implies that you and this person could even maybe possibly gay in the future. • *Now begins a courtship ritual that resembles crows and/or penguins* (No, I will not elaborate on this point)

But none of that is exclusive to romantic attraction. It just is a part of being gay and socially inept.

I’ve just never gotten all rosy-eyed for a person, any person. I’ve loved people. But I’ve never been in love. And my life isn’t better or worse because of it.

How did [I] know [I was] aromantic?

After some very careful examination of myself, I realized that my dabbling in romance had been the same way I dabbled in cisheternomativity. I didn’t do these things because I liked performing heterosexuality or being cis, I did these things because that was expected of me. One of the marks of being a successful “complete” adult is having a “successful” romantic partnership.

The question I asked myself was “Do I like romantic relationships, or do I just hate being cold at night?”

It’s a joke and something I paraphrased from Contrapoints (yes, I know. I’m a terrible leftist but still) — when I asked myself the question: “Do I like being in romantic relationships or am I doing this because I think this is what I supposed to be doing?” I discovered the answer.

Romantic relationships set off panic alarm bells in my entire being. I can never relax in them. They make me deeply uncomfortable. When other people felt butterflies, I felt either nothing or a strong desire to run for the nearest exit.

Romance?

No, I shan't, thank you.

What kind(s) of attraction do [I] experience?

In simplest terms, I do experience a very queer sexual attraction. It’s why I still identify as a lesbian and it’s why I will not as a whole adult person in their late 30s be taking in backtalk about how I can’t call myself a lesbian. I’m currently in the midst of the second pandemic of my lifetime, I don’t think an exclusionist or a terf could even hurt my feelings at this point. (This isn’t an invitation to try. I don’t have the energy to go 20 rounds with bigots. Either accept my truth or I invite you to fuck all the way off. Thanks.)

I also feel platonic attraction. And this is where you’ll find that I am the most generous when it comes to giving love. My friends can attest I am constantly telling them that I love them because I do. I love them. I go through my day wondering how I can make theirs better. They are my people. And I would give them whatever they needed.

Lastly, and there is where it gets nebulous and this is honestly Post Grad Queer Studies/Veteran Gay stuff, I experience alterous attraction. Alterous attraction is a form of emotional attraction but it is neither necessarily platonic or romantic in nature. It can include (but is not limited to and doesn’t have to include all):

• Emotional attraction that's in between platonic and romantic attraction. • Emotional attraction that's a mix of platonic and romantic attraction. • Emotional attraction that's completely separate from platonic and romantic attraction. • Emotional attraction where you don't have a preference towards the type of relationship you're in, just as long as you're in one. • Wanting to be in a queerplatonic relationship with someone (queerplatonic attraction). • Feeling intense loyalty towards someone and wanting to exist with them in a non-platonic, non-romantic way (doraric or tutelary attraction).

I can feel intensely for people but in a way that cannot be quantified within the romantic/platonic binary. And a lot of my very close friendships and partnerships blur the line and exist in a gray area.

What are some things that have made [me] uncomfortable in past relationships?

The presumption that I’m a slow burn. That I just need to bust out of my shell and then I will become this grand romantic. I guess I have a bit of that in me. And there is a part of me that wants absolutely nothing more than to be Hades/Gomez Addams.

Both in popular culture are deeply romantic figures and all I’ve ever wanted to be is a “good boyfriend.” However, I’m discovering this has more to do with the fact that I am probably (definitely) a puppy. And again, no, I will not elaborate further on this point.

Planning for the future is another one. I don’t like this in general. But especially in partnership. It makes me feel like I’m about to pass out. Especially if there aren’t any planned time apart, doing our own things in the planning for said future. Anytime words like “always” and “forever” get tossed around my brain automatically starts rapping Outkast lyrics.

How have past partners reacted to [me] coming out as aromantic?

None of my past partners know. Part of the reason I don’t speak to them is because my past undiscovered aromanticism caused friction in our relationship. And I hurt them with my inability to engage romantically with them. And that fucking sucks.

What is a pet peeve [I] have about allonormative culture?

So many people have described romantic love as something “deeper” than other types of love. And in my experience they are implying that there’s a level of intimacy in romantic love that isn’t present in platonic love. And that, my friends, is utter fucking bullshit.

I have had friends hold me while I cried about my own mortality. I have had friends listen while I tell them my deepest, darkest fears and share the scars I keep hidden. They know every kink in my armor, they know where every body is buried, they’ve seen me at my very best, and they’ve seen me at my very worst. They know what makes me laugh, they know what pulls at my heartstrings, they know exactly which celebrity I would give my left pinkie to sleep with. And they are people I’d give my absolute everything too. So forgive me if I don’t see a romantic partnership as anything better or worse than that. If we’re striving for successful emotional intimate relationships I have several such relationships and I will continue to cultivate those partnerships, learning and growing with them and my community.

[pl-panda]

To Marry a Vigialnte: Part 16

MASTERLIST || First || Previous || Next

To Marry a Vigilante: Part 16

-----------

Chloé couldn’t believe it! They forced her to stay in Gotham Academy’s girls’ dorms. That witch Lila managed to talk Madame Bustier into stopping her from leaving. Marinette had her mother’s permission to stay elsewhere, but apparently, the change in accommodation plans invalidated Chloé’s father’s permission. She would resolve it with a single phone call if someone didn’t steal her phone . She of course tried to report it to Madame Bustier, but her teacher declared that she must’ve lost it somewhere and she shouldn’t be shifting the blame on others. 

That woman’s picture should be in every dictionary, right next to the definition of a hypocrite.

She turned the corridor. She could sleep one evening there and tomorrow Marinette would let her borrow the phone. She could try with one of the girls, but it’s not like she remembered every phone number in existence! She regretted that the akuma attack ruined their plans for the afternoon, but Damian had sword-fighting practice tomorrow and she would have her friend all to herself. 

“You’re Chloé, right?” A blonde cheerleader asked. The Parisian immediately recognized her as Erica and narrowed her eyes. There were five of them and one of her. 

“And you’re the Queen B. of this school. For now .” 

The Gothamite princess had the guts to actually laugh. “You can’t even touch me. You’re just some foreign student that came here on a whim of the Ice Prince.”

“Oh, right. You’re the golden princess of this school.” Chloé mocked her. “Lemme tell you something, Erica. I’ll offer you an escape deal. You leave Damienette alone and you can keep your position on top.”

“Yeah. Like you could be a threat.” A new voice joined. From behind the cheerleaders, a new girl walked. Lila now wore the cheerleader uniform too. “You’re just a walking akuma factory. It’s really no wonder that people avoid you. You caused more possessions in Paris than everyone else combined.”

“And you hold the record for times being akumatized.” The Parisian blonde retorted. “Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! You think you can take the Chloé Bourgeois?”

“Oh! We don’t think…” Erica started.

“We know.” Lila finished. 

“The deal is simple. You will stop your friendship with Maribrat and we will let you keep some dignity.” 

“Or we will make you a social outcast. Not only at school, but in the whole of Gotham.”

Inside, Chloé was raging. She wished she could show them what Cass taught her, but she quelled the idea quickly. I definitely spend too much time with Sabine and the Waynes… She thought to herself. Instead, she grinned. “You know the difference between a threat and a warning?”

“What are you babbling about?” One of the cheerleaders snorted. 

“A warning is a threat that will actually come to pass. And I warn you. You’re messing with fire here. Damian was raised very old-fashioned. He will draw blood to defend the honor of his angel.” She decided that they could receive a warning. It’s not like they would listen. “And Marinette’s aunt is very well connected.” Then, she decided to drive the nail deeper. “Plus, MDC’s client list is quite long and none would appreciate that you try to bully their favorite designer.”

“Like that doormat…” Lila started, but Chloé tested the glare Cass taught her. It worked well enough. 

“You’re not dealing with Maribear. You’re dealing with me. And I’m not going to lose.” 

“What’s going on here?” Allegra walked toward them and stood next to Chloé. 

“Scatter.” Lila snapped at her. 

“Funny. I was about to say the same thing,” she retorted. Now she stood side by side with Chloé and both stared at them. Allegra had an aura of confidence around her. 

“Be careful who you stick with, Kane. You’ll do well not to antagonize me.”

“Just because your mother married a famous baseball player doesn’t make me respect you more, Boyle.” 

“It’s Layton ,”The angry cheerleader corrected. 

“Right. I must’ve forgotten. She does change her last name a lot…” Allegra smiled. 

“You’re in over your head, Kane. You’ll do better to stay with your little outcast club.”

“Nah. I’m good. Also, don’t you have practice in five minutes? I heard the coach is in a mood today.” The mayor’s daughter smirked. “It would be a shame if he made you run around with the players.” 

This made all the girls quickly scatter to get to the practice, leaving Lila and Erica alone. “You’ve just made an enemy, Kane.” 

“You’re an inconvenience at best…” She dismissed the threat. Lila decided to cut their losses and dragged the fuming Erica away, sending the two blondes a murderous glare.

“Thanks for the backup,” Chloé started. “Of course I didn’t need any, but still.”

“No problem. I always hated that self-appointed princess.” 

“And have you seen her hair?” The Parisian huffed. “Utterly Ridiculous!”

“And I’m pretty sure her dress is too short by the school standards.”

Chloé smirked. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

-----------

After Bruce returned, they tried to figure out what was taken from the inside of the vault. Out of various precious weapons, documents, several property deeds, the only thing that was missing turned out to be the content of the wall safe. 

During the night patrol, Marinette and Damian scoured the city for potential akumas. While he dealt with criminals, she often stopped by the victims to calm them and gave some support. After serious butt-kicking for the criminals. It just wouldn’t do for Damian to get all the fun. The superhero/vigilante duo (nobody was sure which one, not even them) made a positive first impression on the city. Citizens seemed to like them, both for their efficiency and how they always stopped to talk. 

After, Marinette noted that their transformations could hold for much longer now since they were together in this. When asked, Tikki explained that now that she had Chat Noir that was mature and they were technically both adults as far as magic was concerned, she could start developing her full potential. 

After the short report to Alfred, the teens left the Batcave to change into pajamas. Marinette fell asleep almost immediately, but Damian stayed awake for a bit. He swore he would protect his Habibti. No matter how far he would have to go. 

-----------

Marinette and Damian had roughly half of their classes together. Sadly, she didn’t share too much with her best friend, since Chloé was more into business management than arts and fashion. It was mostly the problem of the level. Classes that Marinette had at beginner, the Parisian blonde had at a higher level and vice-versa.

When she arrived at her class, Claude and Jon were saving her a place between them, which would help to protect her from the classmates that ended in the same group. There were also several GA students that she would rather not sit close to (Erica’s bunch). Generally speaking, the first part of her day went well. 

The same couldn’t have been said about Damian. He, Chloé, and Allegra were saddled with the class. And to his utter dread, there were no free places next to each other. They tried to ask some students to move. Well, Damian tried to threaten them, which worked, but too late. The teacher entered and decided to put Damian between Alya and Lila. It was as if the universe was punishing him for something. He suspected that Mister Scarlet did that on purpose to egg him. With this one, he had no idea what he did to make him dislike the Wayne heir. But the way he acted toward him made it clear that he took pleasure in the situation Damian was put in: Between Alya’s nagging to leave Marinette and ‘return’ to Lila, and the Liar who kept whispering stories about their common past. 

Finally, after they got to go for lunch, Damian stormed out of the class. Everyone in the corridor made way for him. His scowl was enough to deter anyone from trying to approach him. Well, anyone but Maps.

“Damian! You’re back!” She leaped at him and it took all of his willpower not to draw a sword. 

“Tt. Mizoguchi. It’s not the best moment.” He growled. 

“But you’re back! Did the headmaster cancel your expulsion!?”

“No. He just forgot to file the expulsion files within the week of the offense. Ergo, I was never expelled. I just joined the exchange program.” He explained. 

Her eyes practically shined. “Coooool.” 

“Tt. Can you let go of my arm?” He was really hoping it would work. 

“Nope. I just met you again. We’re glued.” 

“Sup Dames?” Claude chose that moment to appear.

“Tt. I’ve got a parasite.”

“That I can see!” The other boy laughed. Most people were still steering clear from Wayne and whoever was with him. They valued their health for the most part. 

“I’m not a parasite. I’m Maps!” The girl greeted Claude, who in turn made an exaggerated bow. 

“And I’m Claudius Chase. But please call me Claude.” He made a mock fighting stance. “Like Jean-Claude Van Damme.” 

“More like Jack Clown van Lame,” Damian muttered. “Your stance is all wrong. I could take you out in seconds.”

“Of course you could. You’re b…” The Wayne heir covered her mouth with his hand. 

“Tt. Not here. Now if you would let go of my hand, you parasite, I’m sure Habibti is waiting for me.” 

“Habibti?” She asked after letting go.

“His girlfriend.”

You could actually see Maps’ eyes form into twin stars. “Can I meet her? Can I meet her?”

“Since when are you into fashion?”

“Huh? Who said anything about fashion. She’s your girlfriend though, which means she must be sooo cooool!” Maps was practically vibrating. 

“Hero worship much?” Claude joked.

“Tt. Fine. Let’s go.”

The three arrived at the Cafeteria, where Allegra, Chloé, Jon, and Felix were already eating. They had lasagna that day. Quite a lot of people were whispering when Damian appeared, more so than usual, but nobody dared to look at him. When he sat at the table next to Marinette, they did their best not to stare.

“Grumpy Cat?” She asked, a bit worried. “You’re… tense.” 

“Tt. Because of that socially-inept, talentless, petty bookworm,” he seethed, “I had to sit between Rossi and Cesaire.” 

Immediately, Marinette pulled him into a tight hug. “Oh, my poor Kitty.”

This caused some of the gathered, who knew Damian from the previous year, to immediately tense. Some of the students sitting nearby (mostly females) even grinned, thinking that here died the relationship. There was no way that Ice Prince would allow anyone to refer to him as Kitty. Getting him on the first-name basis was considered a privilege allowed only to the family (and strangely Claude). 

To their immeasurable surprise, Damian didn’t explode. Instead, he melted slightly into the hug and some of the anger left him. It wasn’t a long hug, but after it, he was now acting less like a walking grenade looking for its pin. At least three people awwed at them. It was just too pure.

“Whoah!” And then there was Maps, who had the subtlety of a steam-train speeding through the Wild West. “You’re so cute together!” She zoomed next to Marinette to get a better look.

“And you’re…” Marinette eyed the overly energetic girl. She was short, with hair that reached barely below her ears. 

“Mia Mizoguchi. But you can call me Maps. I’m Damian’s friend.” 

“Tt. More like a stray.”

“Damian! Don’t be a Grumpy Cat.”

“Besides, isn’t collecting strays kinda a Wayne Tradition at this point.” Felix deadpanned. Everyone started laughing. Damian gave a dignified smirk. The blond proved to be able to match him in intellectual discussion, which gave some basis for mutual respect between them. 

The group talked a bit more about their classes. Marinette and Chloé compared every detail of their experience in the States with what it was like back in Paris. Maps was a fountain of questions, even if some of them were a bit… strange. But Marinette still felt she would like the little girl. That she was in the same class as her surprised her. 

After lunch came time for more classes. When they finished, Damian was supposed to stay for training while Marinette and Chloé would go shopping. They were already outside the gates when three rather packed teens from the year ahead stepped in their way. 

“You think you can steal Erica’s man and then threaten her?” The one in the middle asked. It was clear he was angry and not exactly thinking clearly. “Gotham Academy Grackles stay together. If you think you can just prance here and take over, you have another thing coming.”

“Um… Sure.” Mari just nodded. “Now excuse me while I go away.” She tried to move past them, but one decided to make a fatal mistake of trying to grab the front of her shirt. She raised her left arm under the grip, lifting his hand slightly. It exposed his stomach for the moment, which she took full advantage of and delivered a knee-kick to his liver. When he folded in half from the pain, as much as he could with her still supporting his hand, she then used her right arm to deliver a cutter toward the back of his head.

The boy was out cold in less than five seconds. 

Seeing their friend attacked, the other two charged at her. Marinette ducked under the punch from the first one and headbutted him in the stomach. She then wrapped her arms around his left legs and lifted him up. He fell on the ground and tripped the slower one. When they both were down, Marinette stomped on the hand of the one on top. There was an audible crack that signaled she managed to damage the bones. He would not be fighting. The one under tossed his pained friend away and jumped on his feet. He managed to get Marinette in a chokehold, but she pushed her arms between his extended arms and spread them apart. When he was exposed, she jumped up and kicked him with both legs. While she landed without any injury, the bigger player crashed into his two friends. 

“The police are on their way,” Chloé informed, putting away the phone that mysteriously found itself in her possession earlier that morning, giving more credence to the theory that she simply misplaced it. 

“What’s going on here!” A harsh voice boomed behind them. Hammerhead was standing there in all his glory. “To my office. All five.” 

“Maman’s going to be here in just five minutes,” Mari informed him. She was still full of adrenaline. 

“I don’t care.” He seethed in response. 

The only conscious boy helped his friends stand up. First the one with a broken hand, then they lifted the unconscious one together. They limped through the campus toward where the office was located. Behind them, Marinette and Chloé walked with heads held high. Tomorrow, the school would be full of gossip, but the bluenette was all too used to it by now and the blonde would run her PR magic to change it into something positive. Chloé loved playing the crowd. 

--------

“I’m here.” Sabine practically stormed inside the office. “Now could you explain, sir, what is it about?”

“Your daughter got into an… altercation with older students today. Right in front of the school.” Headmaster Hammer started.

“Ah. And you’re curious if we’ll be pressing charges?” The woman asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Charges?” She managed to baffle the man. 

“Attempted assault?”

“Madame. You misunderstood me. Your daughter…”

“Defended herself. Yes.” Sabine cut in, her eyes filled with cold fury. “Unless I’m mistaken, Self-defence is not a crime.”

“You can’t call self-defense stomping on…”

“To prevent further fighting? Debatable. She is smaller, physically weaker, and was outnumbered. A good lawyer would argue that it was necessary for her to act that way for her safety and to avoid further fighting.” She stared down at the headmaster. “As for the charges…”

At that, two officers walked in. Hammer recognized the first one as Renee Montoya. The other was a blonde officer wearing a tactical vest.

“Sorry, it took so long. We’ve been a little short-staffed since the mess with akumas started.”

“Don’t worry. Luckily, my daughter managed to defend herself. Now, officer, what must we do if we wish to press charges?” Sabine asked with a cold voice, never breaking eye-contact with the headmaster. 

“That…”

“I’ll explain everything while officer Sawyer takes the attackers into custody.” 

“Thank you so much.” The older woman finally broke the eye-contact and turned toward Montoya. She smiled with her usual peaceful smile, but the fire was still in her eyes. “My daughter is part of the exchange program while I’m visiting my niece.”

Marinette was stunned by how well her mother could take control of the situation. She wasn’t sure what precisely she was doing, but it was definitely effective. 

“Foreigners?” The officer asked, surprised. “I could hardly hear the accent. France?”

“Yes. Paris.” Sabine smiled. “Neither I nor any of my charges are really familiar with the procedures here.”

“I will walk you through it. Headmaster?” The policewoman finally acknowledged the elderly man in the room. “Were the parents of the culprits notified yet?”

“Not. Yet.” He muttered through clenched teeth.

“We will take it from here.” She smirked at the headmaster. “You will be notified if any further input is needed, sir.” She started to walk away and motioned for the three women to follow her. 

Outside, Damian was waiting with a sword. Luckily, there was no blood on it. Yet .

“Hello, Kitty. Don’t worry. I’ve managed it.” 

“Tt. I’ll still challenge them to an honor duel.” He scoffed. 

“You will probably have to wait a bit. I don’t think…” The officer took a glance at Sabine, who even with her smile looked like she was ready to fight God on equal footing. “They probably won’t be coming back to school this year.” 

“They won’t.” Chloé, Sabine, and Damian said at the same time. But they probably had different things in mind. Or maybe just Chloé…

------------

  Masterlist // Next

[andreyahalms]

Fic Writer Review

Tagged by @mira--mira. Thank you for the tag! 😄 That WIP thing you tagged me months ago still haunts me and I promise I will get to it some day.

1. How many fics on AO3?

19

2. Total AO3 wordcount?

91,058

....when did this happen. 😂

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Naruto (10)

Harry Potter (5)

Hetalia (4)

+Bleach and Detective Conan on ff.net.

HP & Hetalia are from, like, 7-8 years back and earlier though.

4. Top Five by Kudos?

c'mon and get your kicks - SNS superhero AU ft. Sasuke's socially inept flirting and one of my favourite tropes - identity porn. Hand-written, typed and edited in a 10-hour daze.

Chameleon White - HSMD canon-divergent, time-travel fixit (sort of). Not sure why so many people read it, but I'm glad that it brought the readers some joy.

Of Monsters and Sleep - DenNor, Hetalia, written in 2013. Can only vaguely recollect the contents.

Simmer Down and Pucker Up - SNS spy AU ft. explosions, nipples, zombies and accidental honeypots. Marked my return to fanfic writing after a 7-year break.

For My Dreams (and a Pocketful of Gold) - Wolfstar superhero AU, written for R/S Small Gifts.

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

I do if it's criticism, or if people have questions that won't be answered later on in the fic.

Otherwise, I don't. As much as I like praise and appreciation, it embarrasses me - both online and offline - and I never know how to react like a normal person since I wasn't socialised properly as a kid. I prefer to blush furiously in the safety of my room.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

There's a Naruto (SasuHina) fic I'd written back in high school. The angst is exactly as melodramatic and cringy as you'd expect coming from a 15 y.o. who's learning how to process their emotions. Otherwise, Chameleon White I guess? Not angsty per se, just a little sad.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope. Can't go through the mental gymnastics of making characters from different universes react, haha. But I like fics where the cast of series A lives in and follows the same rules as the universe of series B.

There's an SNS JJBA AU I fiddle with sometimes, titled Sasuke's Bizarre Adventure. It's basically a retelling of Stardust Crusaders, with Hashimada playing the role of Joseph (the weird and dramatic grandfathers), Orochimaru as Dio (thirsty for that Uchiha blood) and Itachi (parallel to Jonathan's body that Dio...commandeered) who Sasuke and co. set out to rescue.

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

Not on anything after I picked up writing again. People here are really kind! I did receive some hate on a Bleach fic on ff.net that I'd written in 2011/12, but I came across that comment 8 years after it was posted, so it was kinda funny. They were viciously sore about how the 2 characters did not end up together. Which is not really my problem because I never hinted at a romance??? Idk man, it confused me.

9. Do you write smut?

Writing smut is embarrassing, sorry. It's like eating food I made myself, as opposed to consuming food that someone else has made for you with quality ingredients, impeccable hygiene and passion.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Haha, nope.

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

*looks at my million WIPs* I have commitment issues.

13. All time favorite ship?

Well, wolfstar (Remus/Sirius from HP) is a ship that's endured for literal years. I'm a big fan of the best-friends-to-tragedies (with a healthy dose of betrayal) trope. Really goes through the full emotion spectrum. Which is why I like Hashimada and SNS too.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

Ahiṃsā, an Itachi & Sasuke-centric fic where after the massacre, Itachi runs away with Sasuke instead of running away to Akatsuki. It was going to based on some of the virtues of Hinduism & some other religions which developed in the same part of the world. Edo-tensei Madara would have made an appearance, and it would have been a fic about peace and brotherhood and family and the ties to your birthplace...but yeah. 😅

15. What are your writing strengths?

Conciseness (I say on the longest post I've ever made on this website).

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Also conciseness. I would love for my writing to be more descriptive, where I set up the ambience and emotions but it's really hard for me. If I try it, I end up hating it.

Also prepositions. Is it sitting in a chair or on a chair. Stuff like this just fucks me up.

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

Not a fan. Some commonly used terms are fine - like common jutsu names etc, but otherwise, it breaks the flow. I get that if you're reading a fic from a character's POV, the general practice is to write in another language if that character is as clueless as you, but I don't like it. I'd prefer if people wrote "kommaut alle woo" (pardon my French) instead of "comment allez-vous" so that I read it in the same way the character hears it, but that's just me haha. Writing stuff in different languages/scripts is fine if the character is reading text they don't understand.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Bleach or Detective Conan. I'm too scared to go to my ff.net and find out.

19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I have a very hands-off approach with my fics. Once it's written, it's gone. I love the comments and kudos and bookmarks and feedback, but otherwise, it's not my problem. The author is dead, time to play with the next one. But the SNS spy AU kept me occupied the longest and gave me the freedom to write some really random shit, so. :')

......

I think most people I know here who write have already been tagged, but @libby-failedsage if you're up for it and haven't done it already - and anyone else who wants to!

[darqx]

Somewhat eclectic collection of asks

In which there’s some slightly more BP and HH Rire based questions, but also just some general BP/HH/random stuff. I did not separate this answer dump as well as i probably should have |D

I don’t do commissions atm sorry! (´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ But ty for the interest! :D I’m always pleasantly surprised when people want to voluntarily purchase my art haha.

“Catching” not quite, hunting yes, ensnaring maybe...(｡◝‿◜｡)

Deliberately going after a Battle Priest would mostly be due to ‘the game’ which is an optional, somewhat dangerous past time where Royals try and corrupt priests in order to harvest their souls, mostly as a status symbol. So Rire “catching” a BP would generally be in this manner and would net him a soul!

Their first few years (until they hit like their 30s or so) they age similarly to humans, after which they start aging much slower and their perceived age milestones are a lot further apart. So i guess more similar to the first thing you described :)

eg:

some species age more gracefully than others :>

1) A one on one Battle Royale is the, shall we say, socially accepted method of transferring the power and title lol. Sure, a Royal could potentially be murdered outside of one, however the new Royal will find their authority (and the DRL) harder to assert in the beginning of their reign as their constituents will respect them less. If a Royal was set upon by multiple people, the final person to deal the killing blow (whatever immediately kills them) would get the power. Royals don’t die from natural causes at this point haha, the power is a hot commodity |D

2) The Royal prior to Rire was about the third or fourth (in his life, not in the whole history of his sector). He was pretty typical of a Royal (a vicious dictator basically), however he was politically inept and very self-serving and under his rule the sector suffered quite a lot.

3) There is no limit on Royal height lol. Some species are gonna be taller or shorter than others obvs!

Ffft that would be the last thing he would ever do, it’s not like he can get sick from these [Earth] viruses |D Nah i just get a lot more asks here about Rire in BTD context hence why he doesnt appear with the other BP guys much when i draw him.

It stands for Hedone High :d Since i keep reusing characs HH was technically the OG universe for a bunch of them.

This meme pic is such a blast from the past lol

Oh a lot of that stuff is on DA or in my HH tag here! :D It is basically a lot of slice of life-esque stuff with my characs (the OG versions of the BP guys) in a all-boys boarding school. There was some semblance of a plot that shone through every now and then but unfortunately i didn’t really manage to pull together enough of a full storyline to make it a proper webcomic.

Nope lol (•̀⌄•́)

omg anon

To be fair to myself, i ithink i only drew that version once XD

It’s fine i pronounce it similar, like “he den” with the “den” rhyming with “then” lol.

I don’t think they could’ve been friends, BUT they could have definitely been acquaintances. The kind where you are neutral friendly enough to each other whenever your paths cross but you wouldn’t go out of your way to hang out with them or anything.

There are still some on DA for sure! The HH group should have some in the gallery! ^^

Yes an incredible amount if he also responds to the name Rire.

Oh! Headmistress~

HH!Rire is the headmaster of an all boys boarding school and, though he looks and acts benign enough, yes he is still evil. Compared to Demon!Rire, HH!Rire is actually far more concerning if only for the sheer fact that people like him actually exist IRL.

[befehlvonganzunten]

thank you for the tag @coykoii <3

1. Do you like answering tags? yes. even the ‘personal’ ones, which is kinda weird since talking about myself tends to make me feel even more socially inept than i already am. i guess it’s way easier for me when there’s just a bunch of random questions about mostly trivial stuff 😅

2. Do you prefer to write fanfiction, read fanfiction, create fanart, make video edits, or none of the above? i love to write and read (and comment). sad thing is that sometimes i don’t have the time to do either, e.g. right now 😭

3. Nails painted (include what color) or not? painted! i have a soft spot for dark blue/green/red/purple/grey and - as a former goth kid - black.

4. What would your ammortentia smell like? (For those who don’t know Harry Potter, ammortentia is a love potion that smells different to each person based on what attracts them. Basically what are your favorite smells?) vanilla, cinnamon and my mom’s laundry detergent.

5. Would you prefer to live in an extremely hot or cold climate? cold. not that i’m particularly bothered by hot weather but i prefer thick oversized sweaters over summer dresses.

6. Favorite flavor of chapstick or do you not wear any? uuuuuhh... the ‘normal’ one??

7. Enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? friends to lovers, friends to lovers, friends to lovers!!!!!!

8. Favorite crack ship (any fandom)? nope.

9. Favorite type of weather? rain, snow, hail, thunderstorms... any kind of apocalyptic downpour that would serve as an excuse to stay inside, curl up on the couch and live on nothing but soup and tea ☺️

10. Do you use :), :], or :D? i guess i use :) and :D a lot.

11. Tags! (no pressure) E V E R Y O N E.

[superbatson]

I have a habit of always reading tags on posts and I'm absolutely losing my mind over "#i would have expected luke to be as technologically inept as pat (who has a flip phone)" - specifically the last part because Pat's a genius when it comes to building stuff but YOURE RIGHT. Like?? Sir everyone has an IPhone and he just pulls up to the club with a flip phone and the S.T.R.I.P.E suit. "Pat should work at NASA", let him figure out his phone situation first Beth. asdfghjk

he's good with machinery like cars but clearly computers are not his strong suit. i mean, if he were better with technology, he would have probably put a tablet in his stripe suit with an originally coded program to control the suit but nope, he put in a bunch of buttons and switches and stuff like it's just another car

also, slightly unrelated, but suddenly i'm thinking about the starsquad talking about something on social media and pat just sitting there, confused as hell, going, like, "what's a snap chat?"

[avengers1shots]

The Pen Dare #2

Pietro x Reader

   Three weeks after your pen shenanigans, you were a full-fledged Avengers’ trainee. You hadn’t contacted your “friends” that got you into this mess since then, ‘cause you were a freaking superhero now. You had trained every single day, and could pretty much hold your own in a battle now (unless Pietro was near, damn was he distracting). Tony had warmed up to you a little, but your relationship was more or less sarcastic comments thrown back and forth, and he still hadn’t lived down your comment on his pajamas - the team actually held secret scavenger hunts to find them because they hadn’t made an appearance since you arrived, and everyone was always hungry for stuff to tease Tony about. Steve had made sure you were settled into life at the tower, and he was like a big brother to you. Natasha had respect for you, as it turns out you’re pretty good at coming up with creative solutions to complications in simulated mission scenarios. You had pretty much become friends with everyone besides the only one you were desperate to: Pietro.

   He hadn’t really talked to you since that day, and you were wondering why. You had been amazingly witty and charming, or at least you thought so, compared to your usual self. But nevertheless, he only offered you suggestive quips at compromising times while you were training. It was getting on your nerves. Cute guys at school were hard enough to deal with, let alone super ones. Maybe it ran in the family, as Wanda didn’t seem to like you either. You often caught her glaring at you, which you thought was weird. Last time you checked, you hadn’t done anything to piss her off. 

    Anyway, it was a lovely evening and you had just finished your post-training shower and were about to have your post-training snack when you were smacked into by a certain someone. A certain super fast, super hot, sokovian someone. Of course in the heat of the moment you were tired and annoyed from your training, so you shot out a “Watch it, asshole.” God, you’re just so smooth.  

   “Jesus, Y/N. Sorry.” He said in his glorious accent before running off again. Fucking fantastic. No wonder he hates you. Your default must be bitch mode. 

   You yelled after him, “Wait!” but he was already long gone. You had lost your appetite. Sighing in defeat, you headed back to your room.

   “Y/N.” someone said as they grabbed your arm, stopping you. “Can I talk with you?” Wanda asked as you turned to face her.

   “Yeah. What’s up?” You asked as you shook free of her gasp and crossed your arms.

   “You like my brother.”

   “And that’s going swimmingly, amirite?” 

   She smirked at you, “Not as of late, but I think I can help.”

   “Why do you want to help me? You haven’t really been amicable so far.”

   “I don’t like you. But Pietro’s really upset that you’re being such a dick, and your thoughts show that you don’t mean what you say. You’re just painfully socially inept.”

   “Thanks,” you fake smile at her.

   “Of course,” she shoots back. “Now stop being sarcastic for once in your life, and let me explain my plan.”

   “Oh god.” She glared at you. “Fine, fine. I’m listening.”

   “So the last time you two were able to flirt was in the wake of you doing something incredibly stupid, yes?”

   “I guess so?”

   “So all you have to do is something incredibly stupid. Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

   You rolled your eyes. “I’ll call my friends.”

   After Wanda gave you the initial ideas, your friends created a perfect plan. In the middle of the night you ran into every single room and stole every single fucking pen in the entire tower and dumped them all in Pietro’s room. When you had finished you went back to your bed, put on your cutest pjs, and went back to sleep as if nothing had happened. 

   An hour or so later, Pietro came banging on your door. 

   “Y/N! What the fuck did you do to my room?”

   You opened your door with the most innocent smile you could manage. “What are you talking about?”

   “There’s a million pens in my room!”

   “I doubt a million,” you said as you backed up to let him into your room, closing the door behind him. “It’s only like every pen in the tower.”

   “So you did do it!”

   “I never said that. And what reason would I have for doing such a thing?” 

   “I don’t know! You are unpredictable!” 

   “Nope, try again.”

   “Did I piss you off?” He asked as he rubbed his neck, and worriedly looked back at you.

   “No… Look, you’re obviously not getting it, but if I did it, I did it to get your attention.”

   “And why is that?” He asked flirtatiously as he moved closer to you.

   “Maybe I like you, and the last time we talked was when I did something stupid, so… Other than me yelling at you in the hallways, of course,” you added with a smirk.

    “Maybe I like you too,” he whispered before closing the space between you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you passionately. Eventually you both pulled back for air, resting your foreheads against each other’s.

    “What is it with you and pens?” He laughed under his breath, before pulling you in for another kiss.

- Mod Mainframe

[lovemesomesurveys]

What's the most beautiful thing you've seen in the last week? Snapchats/IG stories my cousin posted of the ocean while she was there earlier this week.

What is beauty, in your opinion? Something you find aesthetically pleasing.

What's your favorite brand of potato chip?  Original Ruffles and ranch dip is quite good. Of all the bands you hate, which do you hate the least? I can’t think of any band I hate. There’s bands I don’t like because I just don’t vibe with their music, but I don’t hate them. Do you believe it is possible to know something that's false?  Yes?

Does man have free will? Yes.  How many people have you ever dated? Two. Would you rather do evil or have evil done to you? Uh, neither... Who's better, Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?  I like songs from both of them.  How many friends do you have? Zero. What's worse, algebra or geometry? I hate math, period. We didn’t vibe. Are you a vegetarian of any sort?  Nope. What's your sexual orientation? Straight. Who do you look up to? My mom. Should art that does not represent anything be considered art at all? Anything can be considered art. Just because it might not represent anything to you, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t. People can look at the same thing and see something totally different. Have you ever... Literally wanted to kill someone? Stayed up all night...two nights in a row? Had a near-death experience? Been obsessed with a celebrity? Believed a person to be perfect in every way? <<< Only Jesus. Been hated by the people at an online forum? Planned your own suicide? Had an overwhelming religious experience? Fainted? Had an imaginary friend? Been windsurfing? Volunteered for an organization without having been forced into doing so? Wanted something so badly you'd sell your soul for it? Seen something so disgusting you puked? <<< Pretty damn close. Changed your mind about something important three times in one day? Written anything longer than twenty pages (typed, single-spaced)? Read anything longer than one thousand pages (in one day)? Felt as if you could do anything? Taken a friend on a family trip? Attended a Marxist gathering? Memorized the lyrics to the Internationale? Witnessed a solar eclipse? Fallen asleep during class? Been away from your family for more than six weeks? Which of the following best describes you Simple/Sophisticated Altruistic/Selfish Smart/Dumb <<< Kinda smart, kinda dumb. I feel I’m just average. Cute/Ugly Reader/Writer Math nerd/history buff <<< Neither. Into sports/Into music Unwavering/Impulse Serious/Funny Favorite Type of animal: Dogs and giraffes. Word:  *shrug* Number:  8. Music video: I’ll say Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi video because it has Alexander Skarsgard haha. TV show:  I have several. Philosopher:  I don’t have one. Video/computer game: Mario Bros anything pretty much, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and The Sims.  Sport (to play):  None. Sport (to watch):  None. Living political figure:  I don’t have one. Work of art:  The Scream by Edvard Munch. Month of the year:  October and December. Name:  Alexander. Calculator:  Uh, I don’t have a favorite calculator. I just use the one on my phone if I need one. Comic strip:  Peanuts.

Enemy:  I don’t have any enemies. If I did, I don’t think I’d have a favorite one... Year of your life:  I’ll give you a decade: the 90s. Teacher:  I’m not in school anymore.

Restaurant:  Wingstop. Textbook: Do you crave adventure?  I’d like to travel. I really could use a vacay. Do you wear glasses?  Yep. What's the purpose of your life?  I haven’t figured that out, yet. Do you have moral integrity? Yes. Do you like your family?  Yes, I love my family. Do you like yourself? No. :/ Would you ever respond "Yes" to the question "Are you hungry or full?"  No? Your religion? Christian. What do you care about most in your life?  God and my family. Have you heard the term "Luddite?"  Uhh, nope. Have you ever been elected a class officer?  No. Do you get good grades? I’m done with school now, but yeah I got A’s and B’s. Do you litter?  NO. Huge pet peeve of mine. Just throw it away!  Are you a paragon of virtue? A what? Okay, so I Googled it and it’s a term for someone who describes themselves as being perfect and having no faults or imperfections; often used sarcastically and ironically. I am certainly no such person, no one is, and I wouldn’t even say I was joking cause just no. I clearly have faults and imperfections. I know people who would use that term about themselves, though. What is virtue, in your opinion?  Having to do with morals. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? How long have you been together? Why do you like him/her? Nope. Is incest wrong?  Yes. Do you have a calendar of any sort?  Yeah, I have a physical one and the one on my phone. What time is it?  6:04AM. Tell me something interesting. I got nothin’. Do you cuss?  Not a lot, but yes.

Are you bilingual(/trilingual/quadrilingual, if that's a word/etc.)?  No. I wish.

Are you mentally ill? I have major depression and anxiety. Does mental illness exist?  Uh, yeah it absolutely does. Ever fallen in love online? No, but in 6th grade I had an online boyfriend I met in a teen chatroom lmao. I would say I was like 16 or 18. I shouldn’t laugh cause it’s very likely the guy was probably an old perv. Who is John Galt?  I don’t know. How many songs are on your playlist?  I have no idea, but it’s a shit ton. What's your favorite singer/band? Linkin Park is definitely my top favorite band, but I have many favorite artists and bands. List three favorite songs. That’s too hard. Do you approve of math jokes?  I probably wouldn’t even get them, ha.

How about "your mom" jokes? Not a fan. Are you addicted to online surveys?  Yeah, you could say that. Are you addicted to anything else? Caffeine :O <<< Same. Do you have any anti-technological tendencies?  No. Are you bored?  Nah. Who do you despise?  Evil, sick, disturbing people. If you could cure one social ill, what would it be?  Child abuse. If you were dictator of the US, what's the first thing you would do? I wouldn’t want to be a dictator, for one. Also, I wouldn’t want to be in control in any kind of way over the country. How many kids would you like to have? Zero. What's the biggest lie you've told within the past two weeks? I haven’t told any huge lies in the past two weeks. Do you have AOL?  No. I haven’t had AOL since like 2004. Do you consider yourself a loser? “Soy un perdedor, I’m a loser, baby.” Are you putting off something important to take this survey?  Sleep? It’s 6:22AM, but sadly that’s become the norm for me this year. If you could change the design on the American flag, how would it look? I’ll leave it the way it is.   Why do you believe children like stuffed animals? Because they're soft and cuddly. <<< Would you rather die or have ten random strangers die?  Wtf. Do you believe nuclear weapons should be eliminated? Absolutely. Education? What about it? I think it’s very important if that’s what you mean. Slavery? Of course not!  Do you deliberately cause physical harm to yourself?  In a way I have since I don’t take care of myself like I should. I’ve neglected and ignored things I shouldn’t have.  Are definitions for losers?  No?? We need to know the meaning of words... Summarize yourself in one word.  Blah. Do you have any pets?  I have a doggo!  Ever had a blood transfusion?  I’ve had a few. Who was your first crush?  This kid named Philip when I was in the 3rd grade. When did you have it?  Oh. ^^^ What's your earliest memory? Preschool memories come to mind first. Are you listening to anything right now? Yeah, an ASMR video. Are you a good writer? People have said that I am, *shrug*  Are you physically disabled in any way?  Yes, I’m a paraplegic. Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?  I guess a leg out of the two. As someone who relies on their arms for everything, I really need those. I’d like to keep all my limbs; though, thanks. Are you easily amused?  Yeah, you could say that. Are you socially inept? I’m socially awkward, is that the same? Who's your favorite fictional character?  Eric Northman. Where will you be in twenty years? Gah, I can’t think about that. Do you remember the 1996 election?  No. I turned 7 that year , I didn’t pay attention to that stuff. I was a kid, I cared about kid stuff. Do you remember anything that happened in 1996?  I remember I got the chicken pox. Is it worse to be considered unfeeling or irrational?  I’d say both. What's the greatest sports team of all time? I really don’t care about sports at all. What turns you on/off? It’s been so long, who knows. Do you get angry over little things? No, but I do get very irritable and frustrated quite easily. If you could have one wish (other than more wishes), what would it be? Good health. Do you enjoy hypothetical questions? Ehh, depends.

How much will you accept without proof? Uhhh. Ever dumped someone?  Yes.

Ever beaten someone up?  No. Ever been addicted to drugs/alcohol/tobacco?  No. Who's your best friend?  My mom. Who's your second-best friend? My younger brother. Do you approve of democracy?  Yes.

[theskyexists]

Jeeze

I've only seen one Christmas movie before in truth - and that was AWFUL - like, the second hand embarrassment was insane - and in the end she....kinda swapped her boyfriend for his brother? Lol. I enjoyed it for how awful it felt to watch and how the whole family bullied the main character because she was so socially inept/insecure. The escalation was incredible and the catharsis was uh....death. That has given me the impression that Christmas movies are all about dealing with family and relationship and personal problems and the way those three interact this movie really seems to be in that tradition - and I like it.

It's amazing how fucked up Harper's family is and it's amazing how much rejection and disdain and indifference and being left behind Abby is having to take. Like - damn. She's gonna have to express that soon or things will BLOW. Harper is being very stupid and selfish but I understand completely how it might come to this.

I love the chemistry between Abby and Riley - it's such a breath of fresh air - it's a GREAT contrast with the suffocating toxicity of Harper's family and their circles and etc.

Oh Harper - you fuckin dick

It would be funny if she lost her second girlfriend whom she's hiding from her family and throwing under the bus to her first girlfriend who she hid and threw under the bus.

I mean tragic of course. But I'm feeling slightly spiteful.

Kstew has SUCH great hair in this my god!

Harper you fuckin dick

I know exactly how this feels and it feels AWFUL

Harper you IDIOT you're risking your relationship you're risking it alllll

Also Abby is kinda an idiot' for lying the whole time. She's either a great liar or really Harper is wanting to believe her lies

Harper is clearly so stupid and scared all the time and also an asshole because of it. She has no space in her brain beyond : gotta make sure I make my parents proud & gotta make sure nobody finds out im gay

No band width

If I was Abby I'd be like - ok BYYYYEEEEE

Just to make her feel what she's breaking

Oh! She's actually trying to do that. Sucks u came here in your gf's car

Yes!!!! Go to her ex the only one who's treated you decently!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Jezus christ this mother....

AND hypocrisy about exes from Harper too.

Oh how the fuck could this turn out well for them ever???

LOVE how them being buddies is eating her. What has she told Abby???

Oh my god that break up HURT like HELL - so quick, so deserved, so tragic, so stupid, so awful. What a great shot. Great director.

Yeah Harper I get the shitty situation you're in but you haven't done enough I'm afraid. I mean, what the fuck was that with the friends and with Connor and letting her family and friends dismiss her roommate which means FRIEND. Yeah cos she's been trained to, yes bc she's working on 2 % brain power and the rest is spent on being afraid. BUT WHO WAS HURT IN THIS SITUATION

Yeah but it's hard not to offer comfort to a person you love when they're in pain

Ofc the fuckin sister comes in

The way they never have any privacy is really the problem

Oh god John - WHY. No no no I can't get through THIS part

'no one's supposed to know yet - we had an agreement' ???????

This is going to be........... Disastrous. Isn't it. Oh I am preparing myself in order to ENJOY these shitty parents' downfall and not feel the second hand lash of the whip

Do love how them being such shit parents sure is finally blowing up in their faces. HOORAY.

(agghhhhhhhhhhhhgggh)

Wow Sloane. Harper get her back. Just rip it all to shreds

Oh no. Nope. Harper fuckin hell. Please don't do denial. Just tell them that uhhhh her husband is cheating (is that what was happening?)

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO

No!!!!

*office gif I can't find* NO!!!!! NO!!!

I can't seem to continue the video. Ok harden my heart. Just . Good practice. Harden heart.

Oh it keeps going. Oh fuck.

Welp. Guess you've lost it all. After all. Idiot.

Ah she was trying to go there but she never got there because she went denial first and that unexpectedly sounded really terrible. Yeah that's realistic. So in character so far. Thinks things will be simple and doesn't even imagine the hurt it causes others.

Liked the little shot of Sloane being like hmmm.....that didn't feel as good as I thought it would.

Damn these children are all horrifically stunted. Except Jane.

Jane is really wonderful and my heart hurts so much for her and she made me laugh about joining the fight. And I'm glad Harper looked stricken about what she'd done. (Once again, very in character). The thing is, I would have just pushed Sloane to the floor and screamed in her face as I shook her very violently. Pretty sure anyone untrained in martial arts would do that. But this is a film.

I like how they've basically made all these sisters equal in their parents' eyes - and destroyed their dads career in one fell swoop. Welll done! Finally some breathing room.

Oh god....that's so heartbreaking. Abby.....her parents. Christmas.... They really didn't tell each other enough at all huh

I know that John is right but it's still really hurtful though! Like goddamn

'I wanna be with someone who is ready' THAT'S AN AMAZING THING - BECAUSE THAT'S ALSO PERFECTLY VALID.

'you ok' from Riley. Wow

Harper now's the time to apologise for what you did. YES

god that was her best friend. She lost so much to this SHIT

NOOOOOOOO SHE DID IT!!!!! SHE DID IT!!!!

I'm fucking crying

Your career ruined your family's well-being! Greatttt!

THEY WENT BACK??? THEY DIDNT GO HOME??? WHAT THE FUCK LOL

I'd have just left

I guess its a good thing they didnt

Ok I guess - the - uh - I guess its cos the stress is gone but like - this also very much reads like - if you're a romantic partner you get to be important and otherwise not. Also I get why it's gotta be Mother, but this is Harper once again dropping the ball and not inviting Abby herself lol.

I knew Jane's book was gonna do well just from her brief plot description lol. So Happy John was so interested. Oh MY GOD I FORGOT HE WAS A PROFESSIONAL EDITOR. sneaky sneaky writing

I thought the height difference was gonna be awkward but so far it's actually been really cute

That was a great ending shot

THE DAD STILL WON? WOW wtf lol

OH MY GOD RILEY IS WITH THEM AT PRIDE AND SEEMS TO HAVE A GF! Those insta posts are actually a great epilogue.

[monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my]

Notes on Supernatural 15x01

Stuff I Loved:

   The opening fight scene, Jack dead on the ground with at first just the noise of battle and “The Famous Final Scene” playing in the background. Sam and Dean knocking ghosts out of corpses fruitlessly, Castiel smiting out the ghosts, and then carrying Jack’s body as TFW flees ground exploded behind them. OOF.

   I did enjoy the introduction of “Belphegor” (if that’s even his real name) both how him using the body of Jack forces the members of TFW to face their emotions about Jack’s loss, AND the bit of needed comic relief (Alex C. making me laugh even when I want to hate Belphegor) AND the intrigue he brings because almost nothing Belphegor says holds up to the slightest bit of scrutiny.

   I do like the fact we are seeing Cas’s grief for Jack because I was afraid it would be glossed over, and hopefully if/when Jack returns it will be that much more cathartic. He lost his son let him grieve!

  Jensen's face journey in the scene with Dean and Belphegor alone in the car was priceless. The dark humor of being so socially inept you try to flirt with someone while possessing the corpse of their dead family member.

  The fact that the “we used to worship a rock that looked like a giant penis” line is not only priceless but also has to do with the actual mythology around the (ancient god/prince of hell) called Belphegor.

  Jared’s acting in the scene where he saves the little girl in the garage and Cas tries to save him is golden, it’s clear Sam is trying to suppress his own pain fear and worry in the midst of an impossible situation and in this scene Jared does a great job giving us a peek at what’s going on underneath.

  Sam being so gentle with the little girl and her mother.

Stuff I... Didn’t:

Under the cut in case you don’t want the negativity.

   Apparently, everyone is completely ignoring how it suddenly became night with ZERO explanation? Is this Bugs? Because that made as much sense as the 10 minute “night” in Bugs.

   How perfectly spaced out the extras where when the guys left the crypt. Like the zombies were all the perfect amount of space from one another to make snow angels...

   The whole scene with the 25-year-old teenage girls, The acting was terrible, the writing was comically formulaic and bad, Bloody Mary in the cellphone NOPE,  it should never be spoken of again.

  The woman in white’s “You took me home” line with Dean. ??? We literally had a flashback near the beginning of the episode. Sam took her home, not Dean.

   Castiel healing Sam’s FBI jacket... I... okay. Maybe it’s been done before but just... okay...

   Belphegor’s little “I punch a clock, I push a button” was way to close to Anael’s speech when she was introduced and any time you are reusing a line from a Buck-Lemming episode you know it’s a mistake.

   The “Crowley JR.” line. Like... they’ve known Crowley for years and while he wasn’t “trustworthy” he was a known element and Belphegor is a stranger. It feels insulting to Crowley’s memory

  Dean treatment of Cas, I get he’s angry but childishly not letting Cas grieve? That’s just...oof. Big Oof

   The scene where Cas tries to heal Sam’s shoulder wound was confusing, it was really unclear who was seeing what. Did Sam see the vision? did Cas? it’s implied that Castiel felt a very strange power but it wasn’t explained if he saw the vision or not... I think it was Sam... Again it wasn’t clearly framed...

   I don’t know why they decided to shoot everything in bright day time but aside from the occasional flicker none of the ghosts after the first scene felt remotely ghostly?

---------------

On that note, I didn’t really like the ghosts...

   They didn’t even really bother following any of Bloody Mary’s summoning rules or presentation and again I’m burning the scene with the girls from my memory.

   Neither Bloody Mary or The Woman in White looked or acted remotely like their previous actresses...  

   Bloody Mary’s wig, seriously did the production use all their money for the premiere on SFX’s and have to buy it at a party store? You couldn't have even just hired an actress with black hair? Because that thing was terrible...

   Why was Lizzie Borden there? Of all the iconic ghosts on the show and they picked a ghost the boys never fought? The monster in the Lizzie Borden episode was just a nanny who had her soul eaten by Amara.

   It feels like they only had the John Wayne Gacy clown ghost because they thought the costume was cool last season... Why have that ghost if you’re not going to have it behave remotely like the person/mythology of that ghost... Because the victim's families are still alive? Even more reason to go with someone else.

--------------

   How did the little girl get 200 feet away from everyone else before ANYONE including her mom who was holding her hand in the last shot noticed?

   Why would she do that in the first place, there’s no kind of insinuation shown to suggest she was lured there. And even though it feels like it’s implied she was hypnotized or something, she turns completely around at one point gives a blank face to the fight not reacting. The whole scene waits WAY too long for a resolution and it feels really off.

   It feels like they just wanted to add more action to the scene and make there be a reason for everyone to stand still (while keeping the mom and daughter out of the fight. ) but it feels not thought through?

[ezzydean]

tfln (11)

the next installment of my tfln list

(in case anyone is wondering.  all of these are basically set in the same au and are loosely connected but not in terms of any plot or order really)

we’re not gonna talk about how long it has been since I finished a tfln fic kay?  kay.

this one features a Generation of Miracles group chat.  because why not?

blueberry asshole:  so i have an announcement to make Golden Wolf:  Aominecchi!  You never talk to us in the chat! Golden Wolf:  What’s up? Midorima:  I was beginning to think he was dead.  Looks like I owe Takao lunch now. ShadowChild:  honestly i thought he was just technologically inept ShadowChild:  i mean last week he needed kagami to show him how to use his new game system ShadowChild:  kagami Golden Wolf:  Oh???  I thought that was just his way of awkwardly flirting with Kagamicchi!! Queen:  No he and Kagamin are 100% platonic. Queen:  He’s much more pathetic when he’s flirting. blueberry asshole:  u all do know i'm still here blueberry asshole:  right? ShadowChild:  yep.  we're waiting for you to get to your point. blueberry asshole:  wow. just wow.  i come to you.  my friends.  to tell you The Emperor:  Daiki stop being so dramatic. GummyBearKing:  Yeah.  That’s Aka-chin’s job.

[45 minutes later]

blueberry asshole:  are we all done now?  can i make my announcement? GummyBearKing:  Ye blueberry asshole:  okay so.  i just felt an emotion and i'm not okay with it. blueberry asshole:  granted this is now about an hour late now since you all would Not Stop but i'm still not okay with it. ShadowChild:  this is why you used this chat for the first time in like 6 months ShadowChild:  so you could…. ShadowChild:  …..? ShadowChild:  anyone?  an assist? Queen:  Be a melodramatic man-child with a stupid crush and less social awareness than Midorin. Queen:  No offense Midorin. Midorima:  I’m only offended because I’m being lumped in with him. blueberry asshole:  i can’t believe that i actually thought you’d help me blueberry asshole:  my friends are assholes ShadowChild:  takes one to know one. The Emperor:  Tetsuya is correct. Midorima:  Did you honestly expect anything different from us?  I mean we’ve known each other since we were what?  12?  13? GummyBearKing:  Do you want me to ask Muro-chin for advice for you?  He gives good advice. blueberry asshole:  no i don’t want u to ask himura for emotional advice for me blueberry asshole:  honestly i should have known better blueberry asshole:  i mean u guys are my friends.  i know what ur like Midorima:  You must truly be desperate to come to us. The Emperor:  I can make everything turn out how you want Daiki but it will cost you. Queen:  Okay Akashi-kun.  I don’t think he’s that desperate. The Emperor:  You lot never let me have any fun anymore. blueberry asshole:  i just thought about asking him out.  if i ever need him taken out in a different way i'll come to you akashi The Emperor:  Fair enough I suppose. Golden Wolf:  ! Golden Wolf:  !!!!!! Golden Wolf:  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ShadowChild:  ?? Golden Wolf:  HOLY SHIT AOMINECCHI HAS A CRUSH ON A BOY ShadowChild:  yes did you not figure this out like an hour ago like the rest of us? Golden Wolf:  No because unlike the rest of you I have an amazing boyfriend and I’ve spent the last hour making out with him. Golden Wolf:  Be jealous.  All of you Golden Wolf:  OH!!!  WE MAY BE YOU SOMEDAY AOMINECCHI YOU CAN ONLY DREAM!!!! blueberry asshole:  that’s more like a nightmare thanks The Emperor:  You know nothing of what I do or do not have Ryouta. Queen:  Um I don’t have a boyfriend.  I have two thankyouverymuch. Midorima:  I am not even going to dignify that with a response Kise. GummyBearKing:  I don’t want a boyfriend. Queen:  Ki-chan you and your boyfriend are both disasters.  I don’t think you’re really #relationshipgoals Queen:  Besides what about Tetsu-kun? GummyBearKing:  I like girls. ShadowChild:  he doesn’t realize I’ve been in a relationship for three years does he? The Emperor:  Oh Ryouta. blueberry asshole:  1) even i knew about tetsu’s relationship blueberry asshole:  2) this was supposed to be about me Midorima:  Honestly Aomine I figured the only one who could date you would be you so we wouldn’t ever have to have this talk with you. blueberry asshole:  omg u r not giving me the talk midorima.  nuh uh.   nope. Midorima:  Not that talk you idiot! Golden Wolf:  KUROKOCCHI IS IN A RELATIONSHIP????? Golden Wolf:  EIORWEGOIWHHUIJ?????!!!! ShadowChild:  This is why we can’t have nice things…..