#like no this is not normal people behavior but this is my normal behavior it’s just more intense rn lol

[blitzwhore]

New Year's Kiss

“I've been meaning to apologize,” Stolas’ low voice broke the comfortable silence between them. 

Blitzø glanced up at him, and found the owl's gaze lost somewhere past the busy streets of Imp City.

It was twenty minutes—give or take a few—before midnight on New Year's Eve, and the streets were bustling with people coming and going, fireworks already booming on the horizon. Loona had long since left for a party with her friends. As far as Blitzø was aware, M&M were on a well deserved romantic, candle-lit date. 

Any other year, midnight would've found Blitzø balls deep into a faceless stranger, or perhaps elbow-deep into a tub of Bee&Jerry's as he binge-watched his comfort shows until he passed out from exhaustion. One way or another, he would've been trying his damndest to push away memories of his past—to drown out thoughts of all the people he wouldn't get to spend the night with. 

Tonight, it seemed like midnight was about to find him sharing yet another cig with Stolas on his balcony. 

The mere thought filled his chest with a bubbling kind of happiness, made him giddy enough that he felt the impulse to lean closer to Stolas, rest his head on the bump of Stolas’ hip. 

He resisted the urge, though, and instead replied to Stolas with a low, “What for?” 

Stolas breathed out a cloud of smoke and glanced momentarily down at Blitzø.

“For my behavior in the last few weeks,” he said, rolling the cig between his fingers. “I have been… a mess, frankly. There's really no other way to put it.” 

“Stols, you had reasons to be that way,” Blitzø said, resting a comforting hand on Stolas’ waist. Even through Stolas’ loose jumper, he could feel warmth emanating from the soft feathers hidden underneath. He thumbed at the dip just below his hip, and didn't miss the small shiver that ran down Stolas’ body. “You lost so much, so quickly. And you were off your meds. Anyone would be a mess, honestly.” 

Stolas sighed, and, though he didn't look down at Blitzø again, he did lean slightly into his touch—just enough for Blitzø's hand to shift until it was cupping his lower back. 

“I still feel like you deserve an apology, though,” Stolas murmured. “I can't have been easy to deal with.” 

Blitzø snorted slightly. “‘Bout as easy as it is to handle me on a normal day, to be honest.” 

At that, Stolas’ lips quirked slightly upwards, the sight making Blitzø's heart soar higher than he cared to admit. 

“Anyway,” Blitzø added, “I'm glad the meds have been helping.” He accepted the cigarette when Stolas passed it and took a drag of it. When he gave it back, he stayed purposefully closer—close enough that he could feel Stolas’ warmth radiating off of him, that his lungs filled with Stolas’ scent with every slow breath. “It's just… it's nice to have you back, Stols.” 

A low exhale. With it, Stolas inched ever so slightly closer to Blitzø, until Blitzø's head was almost brushing against his waist. 

“It's nice to be back,” Stolas admitted in a low voice. 

Closing his eyes for a moment, Blitzø nuzzled Stolas’ waist and rested his temple there, just breathing the owl in, just taking a break from it all. 

Even through the sounds of cheering and screaming and fireworks in the distance, he felt so at peace. More at peace than he remembered ever feeling during a New Year Eve. 

Not since the fire, anyway. 

When he opened his eyes and checked his phone, it was exactly nine minutes to midnight.

Though he didn't mind the silence between them, he couldn't help but break it to ask a low, curious, “Any New Year's resolutions?” 

“Hmm?” Stolas asked. “Resolutions?” 

Blitzø glanced up at him without moving away from his waist. “Yeah. Don't you have those either?” 

“I'm afraid not.” Stolas tossed the cig onto the street below, but made no move to pull away from Blitzø, either. 

“Damn,” Blitzø murmured. “So you don't… have any New Year's Eve traditions?” 

Stolas didn't immediately reply, fiddling slightly with his fingers as his body tensed a bit. 

“The Goetia at large do,” he said, voice low. “Mostly, they use it as one more excuse to throw loud, ostensive parties. Most of them in our ballroom, courtesy of my ex-wife.” At this he paused again, grinding his beak slightly, as thought the sole memory made him uneasy. “I kept to myself when I could help it, though,” he said. And then, in a lower voice still, “Tried to drink enough that I'd remember as little of them as possible.” 

“Oh.” Blitzø gulped. He was uncomfortably familiar with what that felt like, and he knew full well what paths that sort of urge to drink your sorrows away could lead down. 

He'd recently started to suspect Stolas was no stranger to it, either. He guessed this tiny admission from Stolas confirmed it, at least to some extent. 

Blitzø would've much preferred for his suspicions to be wrong. 

“How about you?” Stolas asked then. “Any other New Year's Eve traditions, other than setting resolutions?” 

“Oh yeah, there's a bunch,” Blitzø said, and Stolas glanced down at him, eyebrow quirked in interest. “Obviously there's the fireworks.” 

“Obviously,” Stolas smirked, another round of loud bangs going off in the distance. 

“There's a bunch'a songs we sing, too,” Blitzø added. “Specific meals, too, in some rings. And…” 

And here he paused, gulping. A quick glance at his watch told him it was four minutes to midnight, and suddenly his heart was threatening to burst out of his chest. 

He'd been thinking about it, of course he had. Ever since Stolas had kissed him on Sinsmas, it'd been practically all he could think of. 

Still, maybe it was too soon; too quickly after the whole Octavia situation. Maybe it was just better not to bring it up at all. Maybe—

“And?” Stolas prompted, curiosity in his voice as he watched Blitzø expectantly. 

“O-Oh, it's nothing important,” Blitzø quickly said. “Just—sometimes, when you're, y'know, spending the evening with the people you love…” Three minutes. Fuck. “There's this tradition to share a kiss. At midnight. On the cheek, if it's like your friend or whatever, or, you know…” 

Blitzø couldn't keep going—not when Stolas was looking at him like that. Cheeks all flushed, and eyes so big, those ever-present pupils boring a hole into him as they blinked in slow understanding. 

“Oh,” Stolas breathed with a low hoot. 

Two minutes. 

“That sounds…” Stolas started, seemingly at a loss for words. “Is that something you'd want to—” 

“I'm not saying it because we have to—” 

They both paused, having talked over each other, and now Blitzø could clearly feel the same heat that was tinting Stolas’ cheeks burning across his own. 

Despite his galloping heart, Blitzø couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips. Would the two of them ever stop being hopelessly stupid around each other?

He reached up to take one of Stolas’ hands on his own, loving how familiar it felt, how easy it came to him to just run his thumb across Stolas’ knuckles and thread their fingers together.

“We don't have to,” he said again, voice low, eyes carefully searching Stolas’. “Just getting to start the new year by your side is more than enough.” 

“But you… want to?” Stolas murmured, almost breathless, like he barely dared to ask. 

Blitzø smiled—fondly, sheepishly—and tugged gently at Stolas’ hand. 

“I always want to kiss you,” he softly admitted. 

Stolas’ whole body was turned towards him now. Another tug at his hand, and Stolas was on his knees, face at Blitzø's level, eyes searching Blitzø's face as a smile spread slowly across his lips. 

“If…” Blitzø breathed. “If you want?” 

His question was drowned by a blast of fireworks and people's cheers and laughter in the streets. 

But Stolas’ gaze was already on his lips, his hand cupping Blitzø's cheek as he closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together softly. 

Tracing Stolas’ cheek with his own palm, Blitzø stepped closer and deepened the kiss, humming low in his throat as Stolas’ familiar, warm taste flooded his senses. 

Outside, the world celebrated and sparkled and shone. But Blitzø's world was reduced to this. To Stolas’ fingers threading through his back spines to keep him close—to Stolas’ low, contented moan when their tongues pressed together and fell into a well-known dance. To Stolas’ scent, Stolas’ touch, those slender hands roaming down to his waist and circling his lower back to press Blitzø closer to himself. 

It felt like several minutes went by before they managed to part from one another, and still they stayed close as they caught their breaths. 

When Blitzø opened his eyes, Stolas was smiling. 

He looked happy. Happier than he'd looked since the trial, and just—more present. Like the depression fog was finally starting to lift, leaving behind a man that was still riddled with grief, still struggling to find his place, but—ready to find some happiness despite it all. Ready to be here, in Blitzø's arms, and allow himself this moment of comfort and hope. 

Blitzø couldn't help it. He pressed his forehead against Stolas', his love for the bird too overwhelming to put into words. 

Stolas held him there, a smile still present in his voice when he asked a low, “Any New Year's resolutions, then, darling?” 

Smiling, Blitzø hummed in response, running his fingertips through the soft, long feathers at the back of Stolas’ head. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, his mind a whirlwind of just Stolas, Stolas, Stolas. “To have more of this with you.” 

On AO3

[certifiedsexed]

I'm really sorry if this is off topic, you post a lot about trans stuff and I don't know where else to ask for advice. Ignore this ask if it doesn't fit the blog and have a nice day.

Has anyone here dealt with partners who have switched views from radfem to TERF? For context, I'm a pre-everything trans male and I don't pass at all. I've been dating my girlfriend for a few years now, she's always been supportive, until this year.

Two years ago she adopted radfem views and this summer she began to deadname and misgender me for the first time and hasn't stopped after polite corrections. She keeps saying I'm just confused and other things, you know what I'm talking about if you've ever interacted with a TERF. It happens every day now.

Is this normal and just a bit rude, or something serious? It's exhausting and I don't feel safe with her anymore, but everyone says I'm just overreacting and I don't know how to handle it carefully, since I don't really have any support now.

Is it really selfish to want to be at least called by another (gender neutral in my country) name if you look like a girl?

No apologies needed! I'm happy to help and I appreciate you trusting me to answer. <3

I need you to genuinely listen to me for a second, Anon. I do not say this lightly. The behavior you're experiencing with your girlfriend is abusive. It's not "just a bit rude", it's not safe and its not appropriate.

Everyone who is telling you that you're overreacting are frankly not trustworthy either if they're telling you that your girlfriend refusing to use your name, misgendering you and trying casual attempts at what sounds a lot like conversion therapy bullshit is not an immediate "get away from that person now".

It makes sense you feel unsafe. She's being consistently abusive towards you and you have no support behind you, that's awful. Whether you "look like" a girl or not, you're not a girl and you've said so.

It is not selfish to ask people to respect your gender and pronouns.

I'm not sure how to handle this carefully either, if i'm honest, because I don't know your situation and I don't know what you have access to.

But my primary advice is to find a way out of this relationship and away from your girlfriend, since it sounds like she is the biggest issue here. I'd frankly also advise finding more spaces with openly trans people, even if that's just online, so that you can find more people like you, in situations like you.

I think it'd really help, especially since people in your life don't sound very supportive. I also think looking up information specifically on trans people, dealing with transphobic abuse would be helpful. This is an article, for example, that might be helpful for you to read.

I don't know how helpful this all is but I'm so sorry you're dealing with all that, Anon. I've dealt with [and still deal with] some of what you're talking about and I know that's such a burden. Sending love. ❤

Let me know if you have any other questions. If anyone else has suggestions, feel free to add on. <3

[allastoredeer]

Controversial opinion but I think Lucifer gets babied too much by the fandom. Like I get that he has mental health issues but seeing all this fanmedia of women and men of color nannying this white-adjacent man who has been shown to be an incompetent and absent husband, father and leader. Just. Grinds my gears.

Not saying I hate Lucifer but... when people frame past radiostatic with current radioapple as a huge upgrade, it reeks of a woman leaving her abusive ex for a neglectful husband. While I'm glad Lucifer is a step up from Adam, I need to see actual improvements if I don't want to get the ick.

Agreed.

I massively agree.

Lucifer gets babied a lot. And like you said, yes, he has mental health issues and that's valid, but a lot of the time, it feels like his mental health issues become a scapegoat for his flaws and bad behavior.

Depression is a legit reason for Lucifer to struggle to maintain relationships and reach out to those he cares about. As someone who has suffered from depression, I understand pulling away from people, feeling like you need a reason to reach out to someone, having a negative opinion of oneself, getting overwhelmed with anxiety, even ignoring other people's attempts at reaching out to me because it's just...too hard and it's too much and you're stuck in this cycle that you can't break out of.

HOWEVER

Lucifer's depression doesn't take away from the fact that he's neglected Charlie as a parent. It doesn't negate the fact that he has acted condescendingly towards her and her ambitions. It doesn't counteract the fact that Charlie felt uncomfortable and awkward for a majority of their interactions in "Dad Beat Dad."

I sympathize with Lucifer having depression, but unfortunately, mental illness doesn't just effect you, it also effects the people around you, and i can't fault Charlie for her feelings too.

Because at the end of the day, Lucifer is Charlie's father.

Charlie is his child.

And as a parent, he has responsibilities. Ones that he failed to meet, which would have an effect on Charlie as children are meant to rely on their parents.

It's very telling that Charlie calls Lilith (who's been MIA for 7 years) more than she calls Lucifer (who's probably just a few Circles away). And no, I don't think this is because Lilith kept them separated and all that bullshit. I think Lucifer 100% had a hand in his and Charlie's estranged relationship and I hate it when he's passed off as nothing but a victim in all of it.

I hate it when he's boiled down to sad depressed man who's done nothing wrong. He has done plenty wrong.

And that's okay.

Because that's what makes his character good. He is multi-faceted. He is flawed. You can be depressed and still treat the people around you bad. I don't think Lucifer ever meant to be an absent parent, he obviously loves Charlie with all his heart, but that doesn't mean Charlie wasn't affected by his actions.

She very obviously was. Charlie is one of the most positive people in the show (to an extent that it becomes one of her flaws too), but the minute she called Lucifer it was a complete flip of how we normally see her. She was immediately annoyed. Her patience was already wire-thin. She was close to snapping so many times.

And I can see why. He only calls when he's bored/wants/needs something. He forgot about where she was and what she was doing despite her already telling him. He told her that he'd do anything to help her, and then said "no" the minute she asked.

Also, let's not forget how he answered the phone in the first place.

"Heeey, bitch!"

And look, it was funny. I laughed too. I still think it's funny.

But, imagine you called your dad for the first time in years (a dad you have a very strained relationship with) and the first thing you hear is a peppy, "Heeeeey, bitch!"

Like??? I can't blame Charlie for being annoyed as all hell, okay? I get the sense that she's been putting up with this bullshit for a VERY long time ad she's lost all patience for it. She's done. She's sick of it. She's been disappointed one too many times.

Also, yes, it's not just that Lucifer has been an absent father but he's been a neglectful ruler too. I wouldn't be surprised if Pentagram City has as much respect for him as they do for Charlie. I mean

HE SIGNED OFF ON THE EXTERMINATIONS

Lucifer gave the go-ahead for a yearly genocide of the people he rules over. Can we get some repercussions for that? Do you know how many people lost their friends? Family? Lovers? Vaggie literally spared a child--a CHILD. And I doubt that was the first kid ever confronted by an Exorcist.

Imagine that Cherri died during an Extermination and here we have Angel Dust meeting the person who stepped aside and let it happen. Do you think he wouldn't be mad?

Imagine Carmilla did lose her daughters during that Extermination. Do you really think she'd meet Lucifer and feel nothing but anger and contempt?

Personally, I think Lucifer agreeing to the Exterminations is what fractured his and Charlie's relationship. Like, fully fractured it. That was the last nail in the coffin.

And honestly, I WANT Lucifer to see the consequences of the Exterminations. I want him to have repercussions because that was an INCREDIBLY SHITTY THING TO DO. I imagine he didn't think there was any other option, but we also know that he didn't hold the sinners in high regard anyway. He had the lowest of low opinions of them. I doubt it took much convincing for him to agree.

Lucifer is the oldest being in the Pride Ring--he may be the oldest being in Hell. He's the most powerful person there. He is the embodiment of Pride. And he ACTS LIKE IT IN THE SHOW.

He has acted that way towards Charlie too. He didn't go to her hotel with an open mind. He wasn't actually listening to her plan or taking it into consideration. He played stupid when she asked him what he thought about it. And when the hotel was under attack, instead of stopping it (which he could easily done with a snap of his fingers), he was smirking and acting self-satisfied as he gloated about being "right" about Sinners.

And if you think I'm exaggerating then go rewatch that entire scene.

Look at him

He is acting so smug and he is rubbing it in Charlie's face.

LOOK AT CHARLIE! She is in distress. She is angry. And she is hurting. Her hotel is falling to pieces around her, her friends are in danger, and the whole time she had her dad gloating in her ear about why her dream is, essentially, a waste of time.

And the only thing that snapped him out of it was Charlie asking why Alastor (the one actually protecting the hotel) has more faith in her than her own father. It took Charlie bringing up Alastor again for Lucifer to knock his shit off.

Look at how hurt and closed off Charlie is in the last screenshot. I can't imagine that this is the first time Lucifer has acted towards her in this way. Do I think Lucifer meant to hurt Charlie?

No.

But did he?

Hell-to-the-fucking-YES!

Lucifer is an asshole. He acted like an asshole towards Alastor. He's acted like an asshole towards Charlie. And he kind of acted like an asshole towards the rest of the Hazbin crew considering he didn't exchange a single line of dialogue with them. They introduced themselves to him and that was it. Lucifer spent the rest of the time dissing on Alastor and talking exclusively to Charlie and Vaggie.

Lucifer suffers from depression, yes, but that doesn't take away that he is as much of an asshole as any other character in the show. And I hate that being stripped away and getting turned into this sad, babied little man who's awkward and shy and everyone else is just being mean to him. It's so dull and it's such a disservice to his character.

I don't want sweet, shy little UwU Lucifer that needs to be coddled.

I want mean, condescending, ass-hole Lucifer who reaps the consequences of his actions and grows from them.

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Aight aight we gotta talk. Get a snack, cause this is kind of a rant.

NOT SPOILER FREE!

Like I said before, things were really busy yesterday so while I did pull Zayne's card, I didn't actually get around to watching it until now. Prior to watching this I saw a lot of negativity surrounding discussions of this memory, Absolute Zeal. Lots of people complaining that they had problems with them "pretending to be strangers" and that the morning after felt like a "one night stand".

Allow me to offer some of my thoughts on this. Again, these are purely my thoughts on this memory, and if anyone didn't know, Zayne is my main so lemme have my moment to defend this card.

The only glaringly obvious problem I had with this one was the fact that MC intentionally let Zayne consume alcohol knowing he avoids it. Now to me, if someone says they dont eat/drink a certain thing, I go out of my way to make sure they don't end up consuming it. And she did it because why? She got flustered that Zayne admitted to having deep feelings for her and she got embarrassed? Not good enough and lazy writing imo.

Complaints about them pretending to be strangers. Imo, couples pretending to strangers sometimes is not new. MC was just trying to get him to admit something deeper beyond his normal care for her, and it looks like she got more than she asked for with him admitting that the thought of life without her would be the definition of true loneliness. Now moving on to the aftermath.

We know Zayne is a lightweight. It's no surprise that he got tipsy. And once MC sees what happened to him, it does look like she regretted her actions and obviously tries to comfort him through this process. Btw, I thought tipsy Zayne was adorable, the way the VA was slurring his words was really cute. MC keeps insisting on giving Zayne hangover pills which he refuses and he keeps trying to initiate things with her, and she does do a decent job warding off his attention at the beginning because he's drunk.

Now here's where a lot of the discussions I read seem to baffle me. A lot of people seem to be equating Zayne's advances on MC as almost grapey. Like how drunk men take advantage of women then try to excuse their behavior because they had been drinking. I simply didn't get this vibe here? MC and Zayne have established a lot together and I genuinely feel that MC would have firmly said no if she wasn't feeling it and Zayne would have listened to her.

Secondly, MC doesn't seem to know that Zayne loses control of his evol when inebriated. Granted, there doesn't seem to be a set of fixed criteria for this to happen, so it was a coin toss imo. But when she does see it happening, she realizes her mistake and is so soft with him, reassuring him that she loves him and that he doesn't need to change anything about himself. People seemed to almost blame her saying she did this for the sake of fun and she wanted him to lose control? Maybe she did but not in this way.

Zayne on the other hand seemed almost insecure when drunk, perhaps because he knows how in control he is and he may have felt a surprising sense of freedom when he saw how he was? Basically put, he wasn't aware of how the alcohol would affect him and perhaps he saw himself as more easygoing in that moment? There's going to be insecurity and vulnerability in relationships, especially long term ones. Like geez, give the guy a break. Things like this happen, it's natural to be awkward when you're stepping out of your comfort zone.

To him, he feels like he's breaking rules like drinking alcohol and being uncharacteristically dominating over MC, but maybe alongside that confusion there's also a rush of excitement that he could be this person? There's a lot happening, and I can appreciate his struggle in not knowing how to process this.

Now the other thing that people seem to be complaining about; something about Zayne and MC being shy around each other the morning after and acting like they had a one night stand instead of being a couple that's been together for some time. Couples can still feel awkwardness with each other no matter how long they've been together if they do something that is new or out of the norm for them.

As someone that's been married for a significant amount of time, I'd like to say that due to reasons, my husband doesn't drink either, and I drink very sparingly. If he had done something very out of character regarding sex, I think both of us would have been shy while we have the discussion afterwards. It's not out of character.

And both of them needed to get his car back from the hospital and return to work. They found reassurance in their relationship being there for them despite them being busy. Because at the end of the day, people can go for hours without talking while at work (speaking from personal experience here) and also be perfect cuddlebugs when you're both back at home.

Zayne here gets the affirmation that MC always loves him despite his controlled, slightly colder presentation, and MC gets to see that Zayne is willing to anything for her, even be drunk and be this alternate version of himself of that's what makes her happy.

I didn't see anything in this card that made me hate it or even think it wasn't hot. It was INCREDIBLY spicy, especially him saying things spiral out of control when she's around. It's said in such a ragged way, like he's almost in awe of what he's willing to do for her. In the end, it feels like they didn't quite have sex but there was definitely an intense makeout session and some wandering hands for sure. Which I feel would be more in character for them not wanting to take advantage of his drunkeness.

People saying Zayne will never initiate something hot like this again because he was only doing it while drunk? Zayne does initiate, it's just more subtle than this. And now that he's seen that MC isn't opposed to being a little manhandled, he might do it again perfectly sober. A lot of his control comes from his insecurity of imagining how life would be without her.

So to people hating on this card, I almost feel like you're being critical of the fact that Zayne and MC seem to be the most "married". Marriage and even long term relationships have partners go through bouts of doubt and insecurity but that in no way reflects the depth of the relationship.

There. End rant. Sorry for unloading so much on New Years. Have an awesome day my lovelies!

[yuri-is-online]

The sheer untapped angst of Jamil in the fyuuture au is haunting me so it's your problem now /hj. I'm trying so hard to be normal right now ugh take my thoughts please they need to get out of my skull so that I can articulate to others how much the fate of Jamil in the first timeline just haunts me. It's like a weeping angel I can't take my eyes off of it and the moment I do it just kills me to fathom the possibilities.

But god imagine being Jamil and you have someone who for the first time is solely on your side, no other reason than that they chose you because they like you and want to stand by your side. I imagine Jamil must have had reservations about potentially dragging yuu into the job of servitude but like hell that was gonna stop them. And then he's happy because he has an actual life outside of Kalim, they've matured over the years and Jamil has more freedom from him than he ever had. He once couldn't fathom condemning a child to share his last name but he is going to be a father and he's so excited.

Then it's just gone. Yuu isn't next to him when he wakes up one morning and the front door of the house is still open. It's a surprise he didn't wake up from the smell of the food burning in the kitchen but he can't think straight because something is so clearly horribly wrong. All of their things are where they left them, their phone is still on the kitchen counter and they didn't take their keys. Neither of them were working in the months leading up to the birth of the child, a gift from Kalim he hadn't refused. He's panicking and in his panic he does something he never would have fathomed himself doing, he reaches out to Kalim for a help.

By the time he gets a response it kills him. He will never know what happened to his spouse or child, Kalim will never get his message, the next time Kalim sees Jamil after the latter's baby shower and paternity leave, will be when his corpse is being dragged along by the sorcerer of the sands. It will ironically be, the last thing he sees.

There is a lot of tragedy in this ayuu, but with Jamil specifically it verges into horror in a way I didn't fully appreciate when I drafted it.

Jamil is essentially a feudal vassal who wishes for the freedom to be a normal member of society. He also, and this is so important to his character even though it often gets overlooked, wants his family to be respected. His parents, his sister, his first memory is them kneeling to a different set of parents and that kills him inside.

For you to come from a world where his situation is somewhat of a foreign concept and still choose him, choose to throw your support behind him because he is worth reforming the world for- it is everything to him. He got his happy ending through hard work and he deserves it, so why is it being taken from him? Why is Kalim's mess of a family taking from him again?

I don't think Jamil ever realizes it has nothing to do with him; the idea that he was collateral damage isn't really something that computes with how his life has been up until that point. The behavior of his phantom certainly doesn't help anyone realize that either, the way it hunts down the Al Asims and controls the people of his home you would assume that was all the corpse that birthed it wanted. That it would have been better off for everyone if there had been no baby shower planned, no paternity leave, no child to begin with. But that's not true. It was never about Jamil, he was just there and it was convenient to blame him for it.

Something that child will realize he has been doing too when he's forced to see just how happy his father really was, once upon a dream.

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer laughed: Oh, come on, Adam! We haven't hung out like this in... well... thousands of years!

Adam rolled eyes: And who's fault is that? Don't even think I've forgiven your tiny, white ass for the shit you pulled in Eden.

Lucifer sat back on the table and drapped his legs over Adam's lap, making the first man glare at him over his book.

Lucifer: As my sweet, darling daughter says; "it starts with sorry"!

Adam scoffed, and went back to his book.

Lucifer: ...Well?

Adam: "Well" what?

He glanced at Lucifer and glared at the shit eating grin the king had on his face.

Adam: Fuck off! I've got nothing to apologize for! You, on the other hand, would be here for years if you had to apologize for everything! I'm a fucking angel! Literally!

Lucifer laughed as Adam pointed to his golden wings.

Lucifer: Oh, come now! People expect bad things from me, but sweetheart~. You're the first man. You should always be on your best behavior~.

Adam blushed: Uh- duh. Obviously.

Lucifer: Hm. Then, would you care to tell me why you tried taking over my kingdom~?

Adam was silent for a moment. Lucifer's smile got wider. The first man was staring at his open book, but Lucifer could tell he wasn't reading. He was coming up with an excuse.

Adam: I just... think you're doing a shit job. Don't worry about it. You defeated me. Again! Just when I couldn't get more embarrassed after getting chest fucked by some crazy maid, I get ass fucked by you of all people.

Lucifer laughed: Don't be embarrassed, Adam. It happens to all of us~.

Adam: No it fucking doesn't. All the embarrassing, bullshit- shit happens to me! There's never a normal day in Heaven! I either have to blow some fucking archangel or I fall off stage at one of my fucking shows. Fucking embarrassing... THEN I get ass fucked by you because of the LITERAL Sin of fucking Lust got me horny. Like... the fuck, man? Would have been less embarrassing if I stayed dead- but nooo! Can't even die right...

The Sin of Adam!au.

One more quick au before I fall asleep.

Adam falls to Hell after his death. But he doesn't wake up in Pride. He wakes up in Wrath. Adam is completely pissed off and just itching for revenge.

In this, Adam conquers each ring of Hell, growling stronger until he's on the same wavelength as Lucifer, power wise.

Lucifer has no idea what's going on. He's slowly losing contact with the Sins, and everyone is in a state of panic. That's until he returns home from a few days away, trying to find the Sins, that he sees his daughters hotel, and Pentagram city destroyed.

Thankfully, Charlie and her friends are fine. But what she explains is unbelievable.

Charlie: It was Adam, dad!

Lucifer: Adam? He's dead Charlie- I buried him myself.

Charlie: I thought so, too! He was looking for you! He's alive!

Lucifer gets his daughter to hide. Everything is in a state of chaos. He can't find Adam anywhere.

Until he returns home and sees someone sitting on his throne.

After a long, destructive fight, Lucifer realizes that Adam only absorbed the Sins. Their not dead

Adam has literally been taken over by the powers of Hell.

Can Lucifer contain and find a way to get Adam and the Sins back before he destroys Hell and everything undead thing in it??

How will Lucifer get Adam back??

Who knows 🤷

Adam: You can't defeat me now Lucifer!

Lucifer: Oh yes I can! I'm going to fuck the sins out of you!!

Adam: Wait what?

Ozzie inside: YEAH BABY!!

Sorry I'm feeling a little silly lmao 😂

[jinxedshapeshifter]

Analyzing Klavier's Behavior Because I Am Nothing If Not Predictable*

*But also I made this post at 2am and am determined to see it through

Alright so a few days ago I posted this reblog of a response to a post I made mentioning that Klavier's behavior that is so commonly poked at as "Klavier, there was a murder" could very well be a coping mechanism. As you'll know if you've read the essay I wrote on the parallels between Ryulock and Homumiko, I really like to analyze fictional characters. So I have decided to analyze Klavier Gavin's behavior throughout his appearances because there's implications in there that I think aren't talked about enough.

(Also important to note because I feel like it'll come up; this is all my interpretation of Klavier's behavior based on a combination of personal experience and just how I read his behavior. I am not going to claim my analysis to be objectively correct.)

Part 1: A Brief-ish Summary of Klavier's Canon Appearances

Klavier's only canon appearances are in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney and Turnabout Academy in Dual Destinies (which is a shame but that's not my point). In the latter, he's not acting as Prosecutor Gavin, he's acting as Rock God Klavier. I still think, for the sake of context, it's important to go over these appearances and how he acts during each one.

Turnabout Corner

Our first introduction to Klavier is in Turnabout Corner, the second episode of Apollo Justice. He's introduced as a cool, suave prosecutor that likes to throw his weight around a little (as indicated by him overriding the police and allowing Trucy and Apollo to investigate People Park), and it's easy to (correctly) assume pretty early on that he doesn't really care about giving information to the defense like every other prosecutor in the series (something that will come up later). In Turnabout Corner, we also learn about Klavier's status as a rockstar, and how he usually acts during court proceedings. Apollo's first impression, which carries over into Turnabout Serenade and is still part of how he sees Klavier into Dual Destinies, is that Klavier tends to not take things very seriously.

Turnabout Serenade

Turnabout Serenade is... interesting. We see a side of Klavier that he seems to want to keep under wraps at first — he's a perfectionist when it comes to his music, and his focus is on Daryan's missed cue, not the fact that a murder happened at his concert; notably, he's focused on Daryan's fuck-up, when he's not the only one who messed up during the concert. He comes off as irritable during investigation segments, seeming to put on a mask of his usual confident and carefree attitude when Apollo and Trucy show up.

This is also the first time Klavier starts to get honestly pretty mean when even the implication that something he didn't want to be true is true is suggested. The second Apollo implies LeTouse was murdered during the second set (which is when he first presents the igniter) Klavier gets mean ("Herr Forehead, don't destroy what little respect I have for you!" which implies he never had much respect for him in the first place, which I'd argue is not the case but I'll get into that later). We get into Daryan's testimony once it's made clear that Daryan's a suspect, and at that point he's less mean to Apollo and tearing into Daryan instead. Turnabout Serenade alone shows that Klavier's views of people can and will change on a dime.

Turnabout Succession (2019 section)

I'm gonna get it out of the way now, Klavier is a brat during the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession. This is relevant; he seems to have grown out of this by Turnabout Corner, but he's still prone to being a dick. Klavier's also much more egotistical during the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession; most notably, he brags about the success of The Gavinners multiple times during the trial (which Phoenix describes as an "utter lack of humility"). As a 24/25-year-old, he's not normally an egocentric asshole; this trait only really shows itself during times where he'd be stressed. Again, we'll get to that.

Turnabout Succession (responses to Kristoph's involvement)

The first reaction to Kristoph's involvement is when Vera mentions the commemorative stamp with Troupe Gramarye on it, and he gets intense about asking Vera about what the first forgery she made was. He actually scares Vera and concerns the judge:

And this is where he first breaks down. Trucy gets concerned, Apollo has to tell him to calm the fuck down because he's badgering the witness (at which point Klavier calls Phoenix Apollo's "soiled, sullied mentor"), and then Vera collapses from atroquinine poisoning and the trial ends. I cannot imagine what the next span of time before the trial continued was like for Klavier.

Once Kristoph actually takes the stand, Klavier's quite quiet for a while, aside from defending Kristoph when you press certain statements (and even then, Kristoph will not hesitate to talk over Klavier). Apollo even mentions that Klavier's acting different, and decides it's because Kristoph's in the courtroom. Klavier gets so upset that he can't even function properly, which Kristoph blames on Apollo ("My, my. You've upset my poor brother to the point of uselessness."). Klavier does eventually snap out of it and accuses Kristoph of bluffing, and the rest of the trial he works with Apollo to convince the jurists that Kristoph is behind Drew and Vera's poisoning, not Vera (although he does tell Apollo he's leaving the case if he can't prove Kristoph is behind forging the evidence in the Zak Gramarye case).

Klavier's behavior in the 2026 sections of Turnabout Succession very much remind me of 17-year-old Klavier, and his breakdown sprite does not help this (which I've also done an analysis on. Parts of that analysis will be relevant later). Again, this will come up later.

Turnabout Academy

I personally think Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Academy is also similar to his behavior when he was 17, although in the complete opposite direction from Turnabout Succession. Looking at Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Succession's 2019 section vs his behavior during Turnabout Academy, I am immediately struck by similarities. Notably, Klavier exhibits some degree of inflated self-confidence (he calls his own voice "godlike" if you present the tape recorder to him, tells Apollo and Athena to find the Gavinners banner, leading Athena to wonder if he just wants his banner back, claims the burnt fragments of the Gavinners banner is a "challenge directed at [Klavier] and Gavinners fans everywhere"), which leads him to put down Apollo specifically (telling Apollo that the role of a fledgling lawyer is one he was "born to play," calling Apollo a wet blanket, "That feigned swagger does not suit you in the least," probably jokingly accusing Apollo of destroying the statues of Klavier and Phoenix).

It's all behavior that feels like it should come from 17-year-old Klavier, not 25-year-old Klavier, at least not under most circumstances.

Part 2: A Slightly More In-Depth Analysis of Klavier's Behavior

Klavier's behavior, notably, changes depending on the circumstances he's in. I think it's important to figure out what the baseline for adult Klavier's behavior is before we go any further however.

I, personally, think the baseline for Klavier's behavior is most clear in Turnabout Corner. He doesn't have any personal involvement in the case beyond Apollo getting Kristoph thrown in prison, and he's pretty chill the entire case. It feels like, at the very least, he's adhering to his rock god persona (and I don't think it's a stretch to assume that's at least partially what he's like when he's not masking anything). Turnabout Corner serving as the baseline for Klavier's behavior also makes sense from a writing standpoint. So, I'm going to use Turnabout Corner as a baseline for Klavier's behavior. Now that we have that out of the way, let's analyze Klavier's behavior.

Part 2.1: Turnabout Serenade

So, first of all, let's look at the transition from Turnabout Corner to Turnabout Serenade. Klavier's having fun, he's at a concert and performing with someone he looks up to and admires. Then, tragedy strikes. A murder happens during the third set. The pianist for the second set is arrested. Daryan missed a cue he shouldn't have missed. This is the first time Klavier is aggressive. It's the first time we see perfectionist Klavier. The second Apollo and Trucy show up, he starts acting like he did during Turnabout Corner. To be completely clear, I do think he was genuinely happy to see them. I don't think his behavioral change when Apollo and Trucy show up is entirely a front. At worst, he's pretending everything's fine by acting like he normally would. Two explanations I can think of for this:

Maybe he just doesn't want Trucy and Apollo to see him like that.

Maybe he doesn't actually care how Trucy and Apollo see him, and he pretends everything's fine by instinct.

Additionally, this is the first time we truly see the extent of how egocentric Klavier can get. He opts to completely ignore the fact that a murder happened at his concert and instead focuses on Daryan's missed cue. That's what we see, at least.

By the end of the case we find out that missed cue was crucial evidence. That missed cue had implications for the entire incident. It's also implied in Turnabout Corner that Klavier is always multiple steps ahead, and in Turnabout Academy he suggests that the missing Gavinners banner is relevant to the case, and it ends up being crucial to the case. Exactly like Daryan's missed cue.

I don't think Klavier was just being an egocentric asshole here. I think he knew that the missed cue was somehow relevant, especially if he noticed Lamiroir and Machi's mistakes during the second set. If he did notice the mistakes Lamiroir and Machi made, then noticed Daryan's missed cue, I don't doubt he'd think they were somehow related. The one thing saving him was that the entire case, both the defense's side and the prosecution's side, hinged on the murder taking place during the third set, so he gets fucking mean when it's implied the murder might've happened during the second set, because there goes any plausible denial. Once Apollo suggests the murder happened during the second set, Daryan's alibi goes out the window, and he becomes their prime suspect. Basically, Klavier's aggression in Turnabout Serenade, and potentially how set on figuring out Daryan's missed cue he was, was very likely him getting defensive.

Part 2.2: Turnabout Succession

Not gonna talk about the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession much here. Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Succession is very much like his behavior in Turnabout Corner. That is, until Kristoph is made a suspect in Drew Misham's murder.

Klavier's pretty much the same as he was in Turnabout Corner for most of the first trial of Turnabout Succession. He's enjoying himself (a fact Apollo and Trucy mention), he's having fun teasing Spark Brushel a bit.

And then Vera brings up the commemorative stamp with Troupe Gramarye on it. As I mentioned above, he gets so intense about finding out what Vera's first forgery was that he scares Vera, concerns the judge, concerns Trucy, and has Apollo telling him to calm the fuck down because he's badgering the witness. Even taking 17-year-old Klavier into account, that's incredibly out of character for him. 17-year-old Klav was a bit mean to witnesses, sure, but he never badgered them. This exact moment is where, upon replaying AJ:AA, I was like "holy shit, you can pinpoint exactly where and when Klavier realizes Kristoph's involved in this."

During the next trial day, he's out of character on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, by which I mean he's too quiet. Klavier's usually talkative and flamboyant. He likes to test Apollo and Apollo's theories. He likes getting under Apollo's skin. But the second Kristoph's on the witness stand we don't get any of that. He's just quiet and he lets Kristoph talk over him. Kristoph's presence is enough to make him uncharacteristically quiet (which makes me wonder what the fuck their history is, especially with Klavier's "Spinning out of whose control? Mine? ...Or yours?" line after Kristoph says he's spinning out of control and the fact that what triggers Kristoph saying that in the first place is Klavier saying "Let's clean out the family closet" and Kristoph claims Klavier's going to say something he'll regret, but that's a different post for a different time). Klavier eventually gets so desperate for proof that Kristoph killed Drew and tried to kill Vera that he literally begs Apollo to prove it. Once Klavier has seen evidence that would indicate that Kristoph is guilty of Drew's murder, he's mostly back to his normal self.

Part 2.3: Turnabout Academy

Turnabout Academy is interesting because Klavier's behavior still feels off but you aren't playing as Apollo; you're playing as Athena, who doesn't know what Klavier is usually like. Klavier's a lot nicer to Athena than he is to Apollo (he is still a bit mean to Athena at points, just to be clear). I personally think it's because Klavier knows Apollo but doesn't know Athena well, but that's just an assumption, I don't think there's really evidence to support it.

Anyway, Klavier's behavior during Turnabout Academy feels pretty similar to when he was 17 in my opinion. He is brutal with Apollo. Klavier:

Tells Apollo that the role of a fledgling defense attorney is one he "was born to play"

Calls Apollo a wet blanket

Calls Apollo a stick in the mud

Accuses Apollo of destroying the statues of Klavier and Phoenix TWICE (probably jokingly but that's still mean, Klavier. This is also, notably, reflective of Klavier accusing Apollo of setting his guitar on fire in Turnabout Serenade)

17-year-old Klavier, while he doesn't target anyone specifically, is a fucking brat. He's irritating and he likes harassing people (like how 17-year-old Klavier was ever allowed in a court of law is beyond me. Granted this is the same court system that let an 18-year-old with a whip prosecute cases but I digress). In some of 17-year-old Klav's dialogue, we also get a taste of just how egocentric he could get at 17. Some of 17-year-old Klavier's lines in the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession that had me like "wow, never has a more irritating 17-year-old existed":

"Herr Detective, this is my stage. Can the antics."

"And I haven't proven anything yet, beyond my good looks, and startling record sales."

"...Would you hold me accountable for a mistake made in my youth?" "That was just this morning!" "...I am still young."

"I would hope the defense refrains from its customarily broad, sweeping accusations."

"...Truly, there's no substitute for experience. Nothing blinds one to the truth so effectively."

I can 100% see some of those lines also coming from Turnabout Academy Klavier. That then begs the question; if Klavier had evolved past acting like this by the age of 24, why is he back to acting like that by the age of 25?

Simple; it's very likely the same reason his behavior was the way it was in Turnabout Serenade. Constance Courte had personal significance to Klavier and quite literally shaped how Klavier prosecutes cases. Klavier says this himself; "She may have taught the judge course, but she had a huge impact on me. She was fond of saying, 'The end is only justified through proper means.' She wouldn't tolerate dishonesty and always revered what was right beyond all else." From the beginning of the case, it's had more personal significance than any of the cases Klavier prosecuted (while other cases did have personal significance to him, it was only ever clear near the end of the trial).

The thing about Turnabout Academy is that, in terms of Klavier's role in the story, it is incredibly similar to Turnabout Serenade. Here's a list of similarities just to show what I mean:

Both cases involve Klavier having Apollo and the individual he's investigating with figure out something that doesn't seem to be significant to the case but is actually crucial evidence (Daryan's missed cue in Turnabout Serenade and the Gavinners banner in Turnabout Academy)

Both have personal significance to Klavier in some way (Daryan was the culprit of Turnabout Serenade and his mentor is the victim of Turnabout Academy)

You would not be blamed for saying "Klavier there was a MURDER" every time he shows up in both cases

Klavier's roles in Turnabout Serenade and Turnabout Academy are similar enough to me that it caught my attention almost immediately (in fact, I tagged the screenshot I posted of Klavier telling Apollo and Athena to look for the Gavinners banner as "turnabout serenade ass behavior"). That also means that his behavior is similar in both cases; the primary difference, in my opinion at least, is that Klavier's more intense and mean in Turnabout Academy (which was obvious to be quite quickly).

Part 2.4: Klavier's Shifting View of Kristoph

(This isn't important I just wanted to bring it up)

It's made pretty clear in Turnabout Succession's 2019 section that Klavier has a positive view of Kristoph. Klavier takes Kristoph at his word that Phoenix is going to present forged evidence and keeps him anonymous when he mentions that he gave him the tip that Phoenix would present forged evidence. He was excited to go against him in court (which just makes the fact that Kristoph forged evidence to beat him a lot more sad), something he even acknowledges when it's made clear that Kristoph forged the diary page that got Phoenix disbarred ("...Kristoph! We were supposed to face each other in that trial! A fair fight, brother to brother! I deserved that much! You let me borrow the victim's belongings... ...You showed me all your research on the case!").

We can literally watch this crumble during Turnabout Succession. He knows Kristoph is a good defense attorney; when Apollo first meets Klavier in court, Klavier says that he's prosecuting the case because he wanted to see the true strength of "the little boy who bested" Kristoph, which at the very least implies he respects Kristoph's skills as a defense attorney. That's completely crumbled by the end of Turnabout Succession, with Klavier literally telling Kristoph "You're not needed anymore." It's honestly really sad to watch too. It makes you wonder what was going through his head during that span of time during Vera's trial where Klavier's just not as talkative as he usually is and Kristoph's on the witness stand.

(To be clear, I think Klavier knew Kristoph was a piece of shit before Turnabout Succession. I don't think Kristoph's emotional abuse of Klavier started during Turnabout Succession, and I very much think Klavier knew that Kristoph was a piece of shit because of it. However, I don't really think he would've expected anything that came out during Turnabout Succession, which is why he reacts how he does. I also think it would be safe to assume that either Kristoph only started emotionally abusing Klavier after Zak's trial or Klavier realized that's what he was doing after Zak's trial, due to Klavier's attitude toward Kristoph holding the implication that if Kristoph was actively being abusive at that point in time, Klavier didn't realize it)

Part 3: What We Can Conclude About Klavier Based On This Information

I've mentioned it before (in fact it's in the Klavier breakdown animation analysis I linked earlier in the post), but Klavier's behavior comes off as him not having been able to properly grow up, whether because he became a celebrity when he was 17 or for some other reason. It's like he regresses back to 17 during traumatic situations, or possibly has some sort of relapse if we assume he got mental health treatment between the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession and the start of Turnabout Corner, and his behavior supports that, which is fucking heartbreaking. It's like he's putting on a mask of maturity because he was forced to. By who? Could be anyone. He could've felt obligated to do it by his status as an international celebrity. He could've been pressured into it by the Gavinners' record label (assuming they weren't indie). Kristoph could've pressured him into it because Klavier had eyes on his every action on a global scale. He could've experienced some kind of psychological trauma that caused it. There are so many potential explanations here and they're all fucking heartbreaking.

Part 4: Conclusion

So. 3.3k words later. This is longer than my Ryulock/Homumiko essay. Anyway, conclusion: I don't think Klavier's ever been flanderized. I think people are misreading his primary trauma response (that being, some form of regression or relapse). He's not even the only person this happens to in the series (*stares at Athena*), it's just not obvious with Klavier if you don't consider ALL his behavior together, including his behavior when he's 17 because that's really what explains his behavior in my opinion. Klavier's behavior isn't easily explainable in a nearly 3.5k word essay without knowing how he was at 17.

And yes, you could argue that this is all coincidence. You could argue that none of this was intentional, especially when you consider how Ace Attorney is written. Someone who goes into Dual Destinies without playing Apollo Justice first won't get the additional context required to recognize the full extent of Klavier's behavior.

I would beg to differ however. Some of Phoenix's bitchiness from Apollo Justice is still present in Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice, and I very much think that was intentional. Apollo's behavior in 5-4 and 5-5 are very much indicative of him having trust issues as a result of everything that happened with Kristoph and that's a hill I'll die on. Simon still acts the same as he did in prison, likely as a result of either trauma, habit, or both.

If you think Ace Attorney doesn't reference past games in characters' behavior, you're underestimating Ace Attorney's writing. I absolutely think Klavier's behavior in Turnabout Academy and his behavior in Turnabout Serenade are meant to be reflective of each other. I'd be genuinely surprised if that's not an intentional parallel and if it doesn't indicate something about Klavier's response to traumatic events. Even worse, I am quite sure that Kristoph has put him down over this. Hell, you could argue that his comment about Klavier being stressed to the point of uselessness is him putting Klavier down for how he copes with trauma. It explains why he was so quiet while Kristoph was on the witness stand, actually.

I also don't think Klavier's as egocentric and quite as much of a perfectionist as he lets on. I think it's part of what I referred to earlier as Klavier relapsing. I very much think he might've been like that at 17, but much like his other behavior at 17 it feels like he grew out of it, and he has a tendency to fall back into it during traumatic situations, whether it's as a defense mechanism or just how his brain responds to trauma.

Essentially this causes traumatic situations for Klavier to turn into him bottling everything up, which comes across to other people (including anyone who decides to play Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies) as irritability. This happens to me too; I'm prone to emotional overreaction but I've gotten to a point where I tend to bottle it up instead of doing literally anything else.

Capcom, please for the love of the Holy Mother give Klavier therapy.

[robins-scoop]

I will say Matt hitting Nick like that was a bit scary but in a like “damn bruh relax wtf” type of way not a “he’s a shit bf” way

Cuz it is normal behavior for some siblings (I mean not all but I know plenty of people who have had bad experiences as siblings fights go) once my little brother got so mad at me for looking at his rock collection that he threw a massive rock (like the size of his hand) at my face and gave me a black eye (AND WE WERE LIKE 7-8)

I think ppl have a right to say he was wrong but I don’t think that anyone can say that he’s ab*sive from a 10 second clip

[mmmurdockss]

Am I the only one who really didn't take kindly to Foggy and Karen treating Matt like an addict for his Daredevil-ing? I don't think there is ever any mention about the dehumanizing effect that has on Matt. It makes it look like it is justified for Foggy and Karen to call Matt that because the writing made it want to look like he mainly goes out at night just because he's angry and likes taking out that anger on criminals/craving for violence when that's not the case. One of the main reasons he can't give up Daredevil is that his senses allows him to hear the cries for help from people every night. And doing nothing would eat away at the soul of anyone who has even an ounce of empathy in their heart, but most especially Matt who we saw drop everything even when he was in critical condition to save a little boy.

Additionally, Matt's suicide attempt in Season 3 was never addressed by anyone at all, or when he showed suicidal ideations in front of Karen during the scene with Jasper Evans and the show just proceeded like normal and focused more on having them be mad at Matt for being a bad friend and nothing more.

I suppose I'm just scratching my head at the kind of callous attitude by the show's writing of Foggy and Karen towards Matt's clear mental illness. This is not to say mental illness is an excuse for every behavior, but if the writers can have Karen showing empathy towards Frank Castle and his PTSD then they could have the same for Matt's friends for his obvious chronic depression and suicidal ideations.

[midnight-soulless-system]

Before anyone reads, I'd like to clarify that this is all directed at @perasperaadpasta. But if you use people to self harm and they aren't aware of it, then this is for you too.

As a trafficking and rape survivor kink is absolutely fine. CNC is a great way for survivors/victims to "replay" what happened to them in a consensual and safe enviroment where they know they hold the power. OR they can even be the dominant one!

Many Doms aren't comfortable with CNC, extreme sadism, or body modification without knowing the other person VERY well and having many lengthy honest talks about what they both want. Many Doms aren't even comfortable with CNC or any "extreme" kinks. And not all Doms are men!

I have been strangled, cut, burned, hit, etc. during rape. I also enjoy those things in a nonsexual context because for me, I dl not normally enjoy sexual BDSM (even when it comes to cnc).

BDSM is in no way mainstream. But eating disorders are HEAVILY encouraged with diet culture and fatphobia. And you're talking about RADICAL feminism, a type of feminism that encourages people to hate men instead lf encouraging people to educate and try to create equality. So your thoughts on real feminism here are void because that is not what you are citing.

Also, the og poll says NOTHING about CNC. It is talking about kinks that are discovered during abuse and rape. Hair pulling is not cnc or rape. Biting is not cnc or rape. Slapping, pushing someone down, strangling/choking someone is not cnc or rape. RAPE is rape. Cnc is consensual, and therefore not rape, only a mimicry of it.

"12 men, over the course of 18 years, have battered me, strangled me, cut and burned me, and gave me permament neurological and nerve damage. All the while everyone around me reassured me much this same way that it was ok and healthy for me, 'cause it was my choice and I enjoyed it at the time." I am sorry if you regret this, or if it wasn't truly consensual. That sucks. But it is NOT society's fault or kinksters fault of the kink's fault that you regret it, or that maybe you weren't aware of the consequences, or whatever. But if you made the conscious decision to engage in these acts and everything was consensual, then it is NOT those men's fault that you regretted it. If they gave you adequate aftercare and discussed everything with you and you agreed and at no point revoked consent then that is not on them. Neither is it on you! It's just a shitty situation and a shitty fact that you regret it. If it wasn't consensual or if they didn't give you aftercare or you revoked consent (abd they knew) and they didn't care THEN that's on them.

I really do hope that you leave the BDSM community immediately, for you are hurting every single Dom there by acting like they are rapists and abusers. You are hurting them if you use this to self harm. You are abusing them by using them without their knowledge, and for that I hope you realize that you are NOT the victim in this scenario, they are.

So fuck you, actually. Fuck you for being such a piece of shit that you won't tell someone what they're doing to you. If you use guise of kink to self harm without telling your doms, then they are not consenting to that action. I hope you know that you are doing the same thing that happened to you, even if they don't realize it.

I hope that one day your actions have consequences and that you are blacklisted from any kink club, sex party, dungeon or otherwise, because people don't deserve your shitty behavior and treatment. The community is built on trust, consent, and reassurance and you have gone back on that and that is disgusting. I hope you learn how shitty what you're doing is and stop such behavior. I hope you get out because you hurt people and that is NOT acceptable.

Would you judge someone who enjoyed a kink that they first had done to them during rape (hair-pulling, choking, being pinned down, etc.)?

Yes, why tf would you want to repeat that? Maybe, depending on the kink No, it's not that deep

[idontmindifuforgetme]

lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

[starry-bi-sky]

don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au

this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--

his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!

So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.

Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.

Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.

And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.

Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.

Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.

He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?

Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.

Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.

They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.

Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.

He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.

His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.

Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.

It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.

He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.

Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.

He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.

He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.

Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.

It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.

It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.

"I've become my grandfather."

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

[yuwuta]

yuuta is the boyfriend BAWLING when he has to drop you off at the airport. it doesn’t really matter how long you’ll be gone, he will be crying, and he’s gonna cry just as hard when he picks you up again too. but that’s not surprising, neither is saying that satoru smothers you in affection and soft gazes but waits until you’re gone and he’s back home to let the tears out. the real gag is that toji is also crying. it doesn’t happen when he drops you off, or when he gets home, and honestly he’s fine for the first few days—crabbier than usual, slower than usual, groggier than usual—but, fine. it’s somewhere around the third or fourth day of your absence that he finds himself crying, unintentionally. he feels the tears on his lips before he realizes they’re falling from his eyes, and there’s a moment of confusion and then a soft laughter of disbelief before he lets the rest of them fall. he doesn’t really know why he’s crying even while he’s crying. he doesn’t sob or make noise or smush his head into a pillow, but when he gets up to wipe his face, he’s confronted with his reflection in the mirror and that’s when it hits him: he’s sad. if you’d asked toji, he’d say he hasn’t experienced true sadness before that moment. despite all the shitty things in his life, he held a sort of neutral, it is what is attitude about it all—but that’s not the case with you. toji’s sad because he misses you and it’s probably the first time in his life he cries because he can Feel something is missing inside of him

[wis-art]

I argued with some random asshole on the internet a while ago and I noticed I made them feel really bad with my anger, I decided to at least get them some groceries as a apology gift because I know they struggling too, few days ago I went over to talk about the situation while calm and to properly apologize, made sure to let the person know that they don't gotta talk to me that it's ok if they don't want anything to do with me, they agreed and added me to a group chat with their girlfriend and then proceeded to berate me for the next 4 hours straight taking turns to call me names 😭 and I'll tell you what. To be called creepy and obsessed for sending the money and get berated for that too??? Like I know $50 isn't like a huge amount nowadays but it was half of all the money in my bank account at the time. And it was a tough decision to make because I am already struggling to pay rent and because I'm too disabled to work. I snapped out of it immediately, like wow no wonder I got mad at them in the first place.

The moral of the story is, don't try to fix things with the worst people you have ever met, your gut feeling was right, there's a reason why you got angry. It will only harm you and make you harm them, too, when you eventually get emotional and pissed off over how they treated you and then use it against you. Whatever you do won't be enough and taken as the worst possible thing to do. Simply fuck off. That's the best outcome for everyone that will hurt the least amount of people.