#like no one HAS to draw stuff based on my stories or bind my fic into a little book but here you guys are

[mad-c1oud]

no one touch me someone just asked if they could bind my fic “a letter to your old address” into a book

HUH??? WHAT?????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[cryptid-called-ash]

stupid incoherent Arthuriana based story ramblings i had to shove somewhere. tbh it’s insane, but funny enough that i thought i’d at least share the ideas.  (brandy bottle knighthood and other classic hijinks, 1/?)

please note this is in no way, shape, or form even trying to pretend to by accurate to the text. this is a crack fic for the sole purpose of good ol’ fashion feel something again entertainment. 

debating on posting/continuing to write this thing based off Arthurian legend. will absolutely be buck wild and only use the most bizarre lore/barest minimum recognisable stuff (half of which is stuff pulled from the Disney vers plot/the one movie i think is just called ‘Arthur’?). like dead-ass pretty much only names and obscure powers. and it is really queer, i mean like pretty much every character is some flavour of LGBTQ+. 

for a general idea of the tone, there are 4 working titles; brandy bottle knighthood and other classic hijinks, the queer antics of the round table rebels, the many tales of the rebel king and his beloved knights, (and finally) a series of increasingly ridiculous happenings centred around the Pen Draig twins roughly coalesced into a maddening but mostly tangible plot. (the last one’s my favourite)

one last point i need to mention, ya’ll cool is we briefly let Kay and Arthur think Ector set them to get fucked (read executed for treason, it’ll make sense later i swear)? absolutely not permanent, i’m a slut redemption arcs, but just for the narrative knife twisting, you know? 76% of this is found family fluff, the angst has to go somewhere. (hurt/comfort drawn out for two chapters. don’t worry, they work it out; ‘Of family and rainstorms’ and ‘The storm breaks, we are safe and warm’. sappy titles, eh? they get worse trust me) stans please don’t hurt me, i’m only doing this bc i love you

(alrighty, with all the crack fic warnings out of the way, last chance to back out, i am just gonna info dump all the insane jot-notes directly from my notebook, of which half i don’t remember writing down.)

all set? good, let’s get this show on the road i guess.

weird random shit it would have include(but is in no way limited too):

[background info/prologue?]

-Uther had wed a woman named Westenra(sounds pretty and i could not be bothered to look up his wife’s actual name. we’ll just say her real name is the one she used in a public setting). 

-first huge change, Wes is fae. (why? bc i said so.) Uther is fully aware of this and is loving it. “pretty lady and she could rip me apart without even lifting a finger?” 0////0 

(don’t get attached to this tho, they both die like 14 years before the story even starts.)

-unimportant fact #1: wes is like a foot and a half taller than Uther. none of this matters but it’s important to me you know this. okay back the mess of bullet point i called ‘plot relevant’

- royal couple with baby! two actually. yes big change two is Arthur and Morgan are twins and no other siblings. i like them the best, the others can be fae encountered later. maybe.  

-oh, and are like half fae too, i guess. (yay for drawing purposes bc pointy ears and tails! no i didn’t think through how Arthur’s gonna hide these traits for like 14 years, i’ll figure it out later)

-babies arrive, but oh no treason! 

-so the king’s dead now, that’s fun. kingdom get uspered (idk, pick a villain or make one up, all the same. will be referred to as King Man Person or KMP until further notice) 

-newborns get shunted off onto the closest loyal attendants for safe keeping, Wes promptly goes wrathful fae queen, wrecks shit, but gets mortally wounded. 

-she jams Uther’s sword (fancy wedding gift from the lady of the lake) in that churchyard rock, binding it to her bloodline so only the twins can wield it, takes husband’s body into a forest, whereupon she dies and the bodies turn into an oak tree bc magic i guess. 

-kids get pawned off to separate them (think the luke & leia, for their protection kinda thing) . the usual Ector adopts Arthur stuff. Morgan gets raised by the witches of Avalon. 

- time skip and we’re ready to actually start taking plot...

...in the next post. this one’s already really long.

[ghoste-catte]

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 

fanfic end of the year asks!

[bookshelfdreams]

Ahhhh, your self bound books just look really beautiful? All the color choices and the layout just look soooo good together. And that's such a beautiful gift? I have not read primium non nocere, as I haven't watched Charité but if it is worthy of such a tribute I am definitely giving it a shot anyway. I'd also be really interested of your creative process and choices with the binding, if you're willing to talk about that

hi omg! thank you so much <3<3 Primum Non Nocere is a very good story, and I'd say even if you haven't seen the show, give it a shot anyway, if you're interested? I mean, by all means, try the show as well, season 2 is on Netflix w english subs afaik and it's also really, really good (not perfect, but leagues better than the stuff this country usually makes abt the nazi regime). It's a retelling of canon events from a character's perspective who isn't a focal character in the show - there's probably one or two points at which it skips canon events or may seem a little jumpy, but overall, it's more of a companion piece to canon than a classic fanfic. It's very well researched and detailed; it expands on canon in beautiful ways and honestly, fits with it seamlessly; it might as well be an official novelization (although its focuses are a little different than the og)

as for the bookbinding, I'm really flattered you're interested in my process! I'm still very much a beginner, but I'm slowly figuring out something that works for me.

Also, I don't really know what information you're looking for, so I'm just gonna share some things that come to mind. This isn't really a step-by-step how-to but if you're interested in that, I can try to take some pictures next time I make a book and make a better reference post.

Typesetting

I typeset in OpenOffice because that's my office suite of choice & I'm old; I have never used google docs and I don't plan on starting. I download the fic in html, and then just copy/paste the text chapter by chapter; that's easiest for me. As for fonts, I wanted it to look vintage but I definitely didn't want it to have Nazi aesthetics. I went with Baskerville for the main text (which is such a beautiful font, it might become my go-to) (Garamond is what is most commonly used in books I think, but it almost looks too professional for me. I love that Baskerville has this very distinct, vintage feel to it.) and an Art Deco font for the title and chapter headings. Overall I think it looks more 1920's which, considering that the Nazis really hated the Weimar republic, seems fitting. I'm happy with how it turned out and I hope the author is, too :) As for the rest, it's set in 16pt, 120% line spacing and the margins could be a little larger, tbh, but it works and I'm a little stingy with the paper XD

OpenOffice also lets you draw simple graphics directly onto the document which is what I did for the title page and the little ornaments at the beginning of the chapters.

To make signatures, I use Quantum Elephant Bookbinder. It does what it's supposed to, the only thing that doesn't quite work is the flyleaf option, but I can just add that in the og pdf.

Book construction

I print on copying paper, 80gsqm. It's recycling, 55CIE which is really quite grey; I like it, because white is uncomfortable for me to look at. As for grain, I cut my sheets from A3. The grain is also wrong there, so I ended up wasting half the paper. Whatever; I think it's worth it. Having the grain in the right direction (parallel to the spine) makes it feel so much more like an actual book and not just a stack of copying paper stapled together. I honestly believe it's more important than having fancy paper.

After folding, I do not use a model and an ale for punching holes; instead I put all the signatures together in my makeshift press (2 old cutting boards and 2 bar clamps), I draw some guidelines and then I use a fine saw to cut them all at once.

I sew the signatures on tapes for stability; it makes keeping consistent tension easier. I use linen bookbinder's thread (worth it) and cotton tapes from the craft store (they do their job, and linen sewing tapes are hard to source & expensive). I do not have a sewing frame; but what I do is, I tape the tapes to the underside of my cutting mat, place the signature on top (fold aligned with the edge of the mat) and use a weight to keep it in place. It works okay.

After sewing, I round the spine with this method, which works surprisingly well. I do not trim the edges (I know myself well enough to know that it would not end well) & instead tap the short sides & spine to the table to align the signatures as perfectly as possible.

The rest is done as in pretty much any other tutorial. No backing, because I don't have equipment for that. I like to sand down the edges of the cover boards a little, so they're a bit rounded; I think it makes for nicer haptics.

Decorations

I like to make as much of the book myself as possible. There's several reasons for that; first of all, fancy handmarbled or printed paper, headbands, bookmarks etc are expensive. Second, I have a crafting addiction & what's the point of projects like this when you buy everything you could make yourself, right? But thirdly (most importantly) it's simply that my book blocks look pretty shitty (that's, untrimmed and uneven). But that's okay; you gotta embrace the "amateurishly handmade" look & just have to amateurishly handmake everything. Adding just one or two perfect, machine-produced details looks kinda jarring.

Paper decoration - mix water soluble paint and wallpaper paste and go wild (videos are in German, sorry, idk if this is a thing that's really done in the anglophone world? But I think they're pretty easy to follow even if you don't understand the instructions). I like to use this for covers, mainly, I'm also experimenting with decorating endpapers this way. The paste makes the paper really rough and horrible to the touch; as the very last step, I wax the cover (with a beeswax-based furniture polish. Floor wax works as well, it just doesn't smell very nice). Be careful not to get any on the bookcloth, it will cause stains & ruin everything at the last second.

Headbands - I found this tutorial very helpful.

Bookmarks - this gave me so much trouble. Most amateur bookbinders seem to use cotton, polyester or satin ribbons, which is fine, I guess. I don't particularly like either option. At first I thought I could weave my own; that didn't work out, because weaving tiny bands is harder than it looks (& also the resulting ribbon was much too stiff). But! Bookmarks in professionally made books aren't woven at all; they're braided. Seven-stranded braids work pretty well (tutorial is for 5 strands, but 7 strands work the same). As for the headbands, embroidery floss is best imho (silk would, of course, be traditional but come on). Mercerised cotton crochet thread works as well but isn't quite as nice.

this turned out way too long lol. Sorry. Hopefully the answer you were looking for is in there somewhere. Again, thank you and have a lovely evening!

[renaroo]

Super Brothers (1/12)

Disclaimer: Superman and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics. Warnings: Child Abuse, Gender Dysphoria, PTSD and Anxiety, Character Death Rating: T Synopsis: Jon Kent knew he pretty much had the perfect family life, but something still felt wrong with himself. At the height of feeling like an alien in his own skin, however, his world got turned upside down when his parents took in a troubled child who embodied everything he felt he lacked. However, becoming a brother ended up being the smallest of the trials brought by adopting Christopher Kent. And being best friends with Damian Wayne has not exactly helped keep a neutral perspective on the matter.

A/N: I have made no secret over the last few years just how disappointed i’ve been by the treatment and reintroduction of Chris Kent, aka Lor-Zod, in DC Comics. This little guy is one of my favorite comic book characters in existence, and it feels so dirty to see what has become of him. For a while, I’ve wanted to do a story that really tried to rectify the Rebirth version of Chris and the continuity at large with the core of the character I love, so this story is my attempt at that. I can only hope that I bridge that gap gracefully.

On the other end, I didn’t want to erase Damian or Jon and all the positives I have seen with their relationship and additions to the DCU at large. For their parts in this story, I want to focus on being in the middle school age range, all the confusion that entails, and open a dialogue about issues of gender and acceptance. 

Obviously, these are a lot of heavy topics, and I am certain that despite my intentions, there can and will be things I mess up. My hope is, when that happens, you all can keep an open dialogue with me on the subjects. I want to learn and better myself and my portrayal of the issues. 

That being said, please pay attention to the warnings throughout this fic. I will touch on dark subjects, and I don’t want anyone to read and feel unprepared for the subjects broached, which is part of the reason I chose to make an opening scene that is rather dark and disturbing on some levels. It won’t be ALL dark and uncomfortable, but I want to make this plea now rather than later. 

I hope the story is still worth your read <3 Thank you for your time!

Chapter One: The Cost of Friends

Jon hates this.

At the absolute worst of times, his tiny body reminds him of just how unreliable it is. He can’t count on it, it’s not consistent — it’s not a Superman body no matter how hard he tries to fit it in as one. His limbs are gangly, his bones poke through pale kin, and his messy black hair curls untamed out from around his ears. It’s not good it doesn’t do what he needs it to do.

And at that moment, Jon’s terrified that it’s about to get himself and his best friend killed.

Ordinarily, being half-Kryptonian, Jon would easily burst through chains and bindings without a second thought. And he’s still strong, he tore through the ripe around his waist like it was taffy, but the chains keeping his legs and neck locked to the floor aren’t budging. And Jon’s getting progressively tired.

There’s something strange about this macabre carnival where he and Damian take the center ring. Of course, there is, because it’s Professor Pyg and he’s the stuff of nightmares. But beyond even that, the spotlights on them show with a heavy red glow that is making Jon sluggish and weak.

So weak that he’s less than a circus ring away from Damian and he still can’t get to him.

“Come now, come now, wait your turn,” the grotesque villain squeals in delight toward Jon. “Little Bat has been scheduled for this appointment for such a long time! You must be patient, my little bird. So patient. Everyone has their time with the professor.”

“Superboy!” Damian snarls from where he is tied up, flat and without his utility belt. He’s laying on a gurney that looks far from sanitary and, if Jon didn’t know better, it might even look like Damian is actually concerned. “Focus! Red sunlight radiation shouldn’t dull your brains as much as it does your strength!”

Blinking, Jon looks up to the spotlights again and can see, with what vague telescopic ability he still has, that there is something unusual about the spectrum of light coming from them. “Is that what this is?” he asks, voice small but filled with relief all the same.

“Oh, my, I cannot, must not, pass an opportunity to educate my subjects, inform them of their peril,” Professor Pyg pantomimes his way from the circus ring with Damian toward the center stage with Jon.

Immediately, Jon feels his body stiffen on instinct. He looks warily at the flabby, disgusting pig mask as the rest of the pudgy and unkempt professor makes his way toward Jon. He knows he should be focusing on getting free, but it’s a difficult thing to do when he’s being approached by unmitigated evil and brutality.

He isn’t sure how Damian gets his suit on every night if this is what Gotham patrols are really like.

“It is your body,” Pyg snorts and chortles.

A cold splash washes over Jon. “My body?” he repeats with wide eyes.

“Get away from him, Pyg!” Damian roars, his gurney shaking and rocking with struggle.

“It isn’t right, doesn’t fit on your bones,” Pyg bemoans, jerking out his hip and slithering his own arms around his chest and waist. He sways back and forth on his feet with a sashay of his hips. “It misses the shape of your spirit, the delicate frame of your face. And it’ll only get worse with age.”

Despite himself, Jon feels his struggle slow to a complete stop. His eyes widen as he looks at Pyg. There is a chill that travels from the base of his spine up, standing all his hair on end.

Deep inside of Jon’s chest, muscles tighten and his heart thunders. He feels a shiver move from his core. No oh no oh no oh no. HIs guts churn, his jaw trembles.

“Oh, you feel it, don’t you, that deep deep down,” Pyg continues, approaching. “You’re in the last years of it being passable, of being acceptable. Before your bones grind and the sinews snap into shapes thick and unbecoming of your gentle nature. I see what you are, in that deep deep down, because I am an artist who shapes and molds my subjects out from their souls.”

“You’re a monster,” Jon whispers, his voice giving up halfway through.

Pyg’s eyes shine with something dangerous through the outsides of his mask. He reaches forward and cups Jon’s cheek with his itchy gloved hand. Jon doesn’t even know when he got so close; when he started towering so tall over Jon.

“You’ll be one of my finest Dollotrons,” Pyg promises, rubbing his thumb just under Jon’s eye. “But your clay’s too strong, have to soften you up, get you nice and fleshy, then I’ll shave and I’ll cut and I’ll shape you right up.”

It doesn’t come off as a promise, so much as it does a threat, one that terrifies and unsettles Jon deep down within himself.

Jon’s mind draws a blank, his eyes wide and unfocused and he attempts, desperately, to come up with some intelligent response. But he can’t, not while a fear racks his every nerve and turns his muscles to stone.

It takes Jon completely and utterly by surprise when a familiar whoosh in the air flies overhead before glass crashes and electricity sparks. He catches a glance at the familiar shape of a Batarang lodged into the spotlight directly overhead.

He’s instantly overcome with relief.

Pyg releases his cheek and steps back wildly, looking around. “No! Not now! My art is not ready!” he cries out before letting loose some piglike squeals and sobs.

Looking toward Damian, Jon expects to see his friend released but is surprised to see Damian still trapped. He squints, uncertain of what’s happening when a second then third Batarang plunge into the remaining red sun spotlights.

“Batman?” Jon wonders out loud.

“Ugh,” Damian lets out in frustration before struggling with even more force against his bindings. “Overdramatic, sanctimonious, can’t believe—“

Dollotrons are racing onto the tent floor while Professor Pyg whines and bemoans his ultimate fate, but as the lights extinguish one by one, the shadows take on a new form.

She moves like a dancer, each step and hit against the army of zombified victims perfectly paced and timed. She is all in black, save for her golden accents and bat, and she spares not a single motion. A kick becomes a launch for a leap becomes a smack becomes a twirl becomes a fist to the face of the blubbering Professor. And each and every movement grows in its momentum.

Jon has never seen anything like this outside of super speed, and he certainly hasn’t seen it using the shapes and silhouettes of the shadows like a comforting show curtain. He has so many questions and so many concerns that he forgets himself and getting free. Even if he could, with his body still unresponsively slow and dulled from the radiation.

Damian, at the least, is in motion, finally getting one of his hands free and using the points of his gauntlet to slice through the leather of the other bindings. He is muttering to himself, annoyed and embarrassed based on the flush in his cheeks. It’s not a rare sight but it is unusual for Jon to see Damian this way around one of his multitudes of siblings.

The shadowy bat launches into a final attack, knocking out the last of the Dollotrons before pouncing on the escaping Professor Pyg like a hungry lioness.

With her full weight on Pyg, the Bat narrows her eyes and for the first time can really be seen by Jon as she reaches over and yanks Pyg’s disgusting mask off of his face. Her lips curl in displeasure, but it doesn’t take away from her fair features or the delicate, smooth control she has over her body.

“Wow,” Jon hears himself say as Damian reaches his side and begins pulling out a small blowtorch for the chains. “Is that your sister?”

“SHH!” Damian hisses.

Jon strains to listen to whatever is being said between the Bat and Pyg, but it gets him nowhere, only words at a time coming in clearly as his powers remain in flux. Regardless, Pyg is squirming and blubbering too much for it to matter anyway.

“Took her damn time,” Damian snarls, letting Jon lean on him as he glares toward his sister.

“She saved our lives,” Jon reminds him.

Damian’s nose curls. “Tt, debatable.”

Cassandra apparently finishes whatever minor conversation she was having with Pyg and flips him over, handcuffing him swiftly. She’s powerful and strong without losing her leanness or size, it mesmerizes Jon in a way. By the time she looks up at them, her expression has completely changed.

“You okay?” she asks them both.

“No thanks to you,” Damian says at the same time Jon gets out, “All thanks to you!”

Something approximating a smile crosses her face before she gets to her feet and reaches up to her ear. “Oracle. Done.”

Looking at Cassandra, Jon feels like he’s found yet another new hero. “Whoa, your sister’s awesome. And cool. And so in control,” Jon tells Damian, his strength returning. “You’ve got so many siblings, can I have your sister?”

“Father would be displeased, otherwise I’d say yes,” Damian huffs in that way that Jon cannot tell, for the life of him, if it’s sarcasm or not.

***

Damian watches as his friend flies off.

It took the better part of an hour as well as a stop at Big Belly Burger for Jon to feel up to the task, but the half-Kryptonian flies home after departing from them and Damian watches him go.

Cassandra, as it turns out, is also there. She leans back against her motorcycle — a sleek but redundant design, like any of the numerous other bat-themed motorcycles or vehicles any of their extended family has access to — and watches Damian more than Jon.

They haven’t had much time with just the two of them. Their paths rarely intersect. And Damian is pretty sure he prefers it that way.

His cheeks are still on fire from the embarrassment of being rescued by her.

“I would have gotten out,” he informs her, crossing his arms. “Pyg was distracted and far away from me. I was working on my restraints.”

She tilts her head at him, a frown tight on her face. “Distracted you, too,” she points out.

And Damian knows she’s right about that, he was distracted. Just the look on his friend’s face, the growing horror and dread. Jon isn’t used to the types of villains that Gotham can throw at people, the psychological toll it takes. Damian is, or at least he likes to think he is, but Jon still can be scared and surprised.

But what looks crossed Jon’s face at that moment were unexpected even to Damian. He had never seen anything like it. Jon had been soaking up every word and phrase like it had been ripped straight from his dreams.

It was enough that it frightened Damian for his friend, and he didn’t even know why.

Over the course of an hour and a Big Belly Burger, Jon had refrained from mentioning a single thing about it.

That, too, was very unlike Jon.

Such things could be dwelled on at another time, though. Damian had the pressing matter at hand of his own reckoning. And his so-called sister.

Without looking up to meet Cassandra’s gaze, Damian kicked at the ground. “What are you going to tell father about tonight?” he asks.

“Truth,” Cass answers unhelpfully.

Gritting his teeth, Damian looks back at her, eyes narrowed and angry. “That’s not fair, you know,” he growls at her. “You never come around, never work with any of the rest of us, and then you pop in and judge us from on high. No wonder father speaks highly of you. You’re just like him.”

Her brows come together in a way that wrinkles her forehead. It’s hard to read her expression, even with her modified mask and hood. “I’m not,” she says. Her words sound final, but she apparently thinks better of them and shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Judging you. I’m not.”

Damian looks her over. She hasn’t moved from her bike but her arms have dropped to her side. She is looking at him rather intently and it makes him want to squirm in his combat boots.

“Tt, sure you’re not,” he finally snaps back. “You’ll still tell father that I was captured by Professor Pyg.”

“Yes,” she said too casually.

“And that I let Superboy get captured, too,” Damian glowered more at that one, his eyes rest on the asphalt beneath his feet. He kicked again.

Cassandra paused slightly longer with that one.

When her hand snaked its way onto his shoulder, Damian flinched bodily. He slapped her hand away and twisted around to get away on instinct. He hated that — no one should be able to sneak up on him. He was trained by League of Assassins, he had been prepared since before he could speak to be on guard.

But Cassandra had, too.

She looked at him passively. “Not your fault, happens,” she said, in reference to Pyg.

“That’s not what father will think,” Damian snaps.

“I’ll tell him,” she promises.

Damian stares at her for a moment, sizing her up and considering all the ways he could make her more respectful to him. But it fizzles out quickly. He knows, as much as he resists the thought, that he isn’t upset with her.

He’s upset with himself.

“In the League, they trained us that there is a cost to every relationship formed,” Damian informs Cassandra like she doesn’t intuitively know from her own history. “Partnerships, even necessary ones, would cost you heavily. They could be deadly. And more relationships than strictly necessary should be avoided. All this family and friendship that is just around me all the time now. I don’t want to pay the cost for them.” He looks to the skies where Jon once flew. “I don’t want my friend to pay for them either. It’s not worth it.”

Cassandra stays quiet, but she places her hand on Damian’s shoulder again. He doesn’t attempt to knock it off this time.

“Sometimes it is,” she tells him.

But Damian isn’t so sure. Especially not hearing it from her. Cassandra does not work with others to the same degree as the rest of their family. She doesn’t go to school. She doesn’t join teams outside of father’s pet projects. She doesn’t operate in a daily partnership like Damian has with Grayson or father.

She seems to be living by those lonesome standards that the League taught Damian. And all anyone can do is praise her.

What sort of lesson is Damian supposed to learn from that?

***

Jekuul feels oppressively hot outside of the crystal palace.

Lor has watched his parents stand, looming in the skies, over the land’s natives as they constructed the palace for them. He watched as their eyes glowed threateningly each time the native population faltered, and he remembered how easily their bones cracked and snapped when corrected by the general and his lieutenant. It was equal parts thrilling and terrifying to witness.

Inside the palace, things are smooth and temperature regulated. The pantries are stocked with foods far greater than anything Lor had tasted within the Phantom Zone, but still foreign and sometimes unexpected.

If he questions what was on his plate, he is quickly reprimanded.

So he doesn’t ask.

It should be easy, if not simple, to follow the rules at this point. Stay in the palace, eat when told without questions, listen to his lessons from the Sunstones without fault.

He is the Last Son of Krypton, and he is supposed to inherit everything the universe owed them for their lost greatest civilization. All he has to do is stay in place, not ask questions, don’t be, don’t move.

But he was not born on Krypton, nor was he born on Jekuul — New Krypton, by his father’s declaration — he was born in the perilous depths of the Phantom Zone. A prison.

Inside of the Phantom Zone, there was no movement, there were no questions, there was not being or doing or screaming or aging — that had been the only thing he’d ever existed and it was torturous.

Outside of the Phantom Zone, he thought, things are supposed to be different. He is supposed to move and change and grow, he thinks.

So even though there is every reason not to leave the palace, Lor-Zod leaves in the oppressive heat and feels the sun against his Kryptonian skin as he flies under the two yellow suns.

As he moves across the lands, the violet skinned natives of Jekuul fall to their knees and avert their eyes. They whisper and whimper in a tongue completely foreign to Lor-Zod and it feels, well. It feels good.

Lor-Zod knows that they react this way to his parents, but to have even adults of the alien race fall in reverence to him, he feels more powerful. He feels like the Last Son of Krypton that his father insists he is.

He wonders, vaguely, if it is something his father would like to see.

Deep down, Lor hopes so. Because it is easy for Lor to imagine what his father would think or say when he doesn’t like something Lor has done. He has no concept of what would happen when he makes his father pleased.

He is nearly at the end of the primitive village when Lor’s eyes fall on an unusual sight.

One of the Jekuul natives, a young female no older than Lor and having not yet earned her yellow stripes, stands and stares up at Lor. She doesn’t drop to her knees or avert her eyes.

For a few seconds, Lor continues flying, arching his head back to watch for the girl to finally do as she is supposed to but she never does.

Aggravated and surprised, Lor turns in his flight path and descends, landing promptly in front of the girl.

“Why aren’t you kneeling?” he asks before his feet are even secure.

She stares at him, head tilting. Her black eyes are large and reflective, Lor can see himself in them.

He huffs at her, crossing his arms like he has seen his father do so many times before. “Don’t you speak Kryptonian?” he sneers.

After a quiet moment, she scratches at her head and looks around. That seems to answer Lor’s question for him.

“You’re supposed to kneel,” he groans. “Look, like this,” he says, bowing down to one knee and lowering his head. He’s seen so many others do it before.

Then he hears laughter.

Lor looks up and sees the girl covering her mouth as she giggles before she gets down on both her knees and dips her body down in a silly, teetering display. A mockery. Then she gets back to her feet.

“No!” Lor snaps, getting back to his own feet and grabbing her shoulders.

At first, she stiffens, surprised, and looks at him wildly. Her hands grip onto his wrists and she seems afraid.

“Like this,” Lor repeats, then pushes down on her. He dips with her, down to the ground on their knees. But when they both lower their heads, they immediately smack foreheads.

It feels like nothing to Lor, but for the girl, she jolts back and begins rubbing at her skull.

Instinctively, just like he follows his parents’ motions, Lor reaches up and rubs at his own head. They stare at each other as they both sit there on their knees, rubbing their heads.

Then, despite himself, Lor giggles.

The girl giggles.

They both giggle.

Once the giggles subside, they are both sitting on their knees in the dirt and staring at each other expectantly. They don’t speak the same language. They aren’t remotely the same and, yet, Lor has never felt more of a need to communicate with someone in his life.

He points at his chest, at the house emblem emblazoned on his armor. “Zod,” he tells her. “Zod,” he repeats.

For a moment, the girl is quiet, absorbing his words, then she points at her chest and the purple skin. “Jekuul,” she says.

“No, not what you are,” he mutters, catching on quickly. “I’m not…” He is a Zod, though. Maybe more than he is a Kryptonian, if only in his own mind. He sucks in a breath and tries again. He points at his face. “Lor,” he tells her.

Understanding fills her expression and she points at her own face. “Ti’ahl.”

And, maybe for the first time, Lor feels a wide smile cross his face.

From that moment on, their afternoon is filled with delight.

Ti’ahl points at every structure, every creature, every plant with words and phrases that will not stop saying until Lor repeats. Repeatedly, Lor picks Ti’ahl up easily, flies her from location to location, lifts up every boulder and animal they come across as she claps in delight.

It’s thrilling — and Lor laughs more than he has ever laughed before in his life.

By the time the second sun begins to set, a chill quickly crosses the lands, and Lor can see Ti’ahl gain a shiver. It makes Lor feel bad to see Ti’ahl uncomfortable in any way.

“Hold on,” he calls to her at one point, slowing her run through the grass. He reaches up and carefully unclips his cape from his armor. Grinning, he floats toward Ti’ahl and drapes her with the heavy fabric.

After Lor ties the cape closed over her neck, Ti’ahl looks down and touches the knot. A funny look crosses her face and she looks at Lor.

Ti’ahl leaps onto a nearby rock, standing tall and crossing her arms. “ZOD!” she declares herself.

Realizing what is happening, Lor giggles and drops obediently to his knees. “I kneel!” he laughs.

At first, Ti’ahl joins his laughter, but then she becomes strangely quiet.

Confused, Lor looks up at her. “Ti’ahl?” he asks before realizing that a shadow has crossed over them both.

Heart sinking, Lor twists around and sees his father, arms crossed, standing over them both. He looks displeased.

“Father,” Lor gets out, voice thin.

“Is this how I find the Last Son of Krypton? Kneeling before his lessers?” the general snarls. He drops his hands to his sides as Lor begins to stand up and easily kicks Lor back down. “If you lower yourself in the dirt for a mongrel child, you will stay there for your leader, do you understand?”

Breath catching in his throat, Lor nods. “Y-yes, Sir.”

“To the palace. Immediately,” General Zod orders, his gaze carrying over to Ti’ahl. “There will be a price to pay for this, Lor-Zod. Let us see if you are grown enough to pay it.”

Lor cannot bring himself to look at Ti’ahl as he leaps to his feet and takes off in the air. His blood is rushing to his ears, tears building up in his eyes even before he reaches his top speeds of flight.

It isn’t until he was home that he realized he had left his cape.

[millennial-ring]

Can we get more on the three P's? Pain, Pride, and Pure?

           17. PAIN

So this is actually the document where I saved the RP where Bakura came back to find Malik engaged to Seto, aptly named “PAIN” because it’s...fairly angsty. Me and this friend used to RP on Skype, making new group chats with side accounts before deleting them and leaving the two of us (which is so unnecessarily inconvenient lol but it’s what we had to do so we could rp multiple things at a time/not lose the rp in our regular group) and whenever we finished or got bored of an RP one of us would sit down, scroll all the way to the top, and copy and paste the entire thing into a word doc for re-readability. We rp’d it for well over a year, if not longer, so there’s no way to really reread it and condense it into a summary because sooo much happens. I guess highlights that I remember (or at least thing I remember fgjkdjh? we started this rp in 2016)

Bakura gives Malik a necklace he made himself (instead of a ring) before they part ways and Malik ofc keeps wearing it even after Bakura comes back and screams at them. There’s one scene early into the power relationship (when Malik still considers them fuck buddies) where Malik jumps into bed with Ryou, shoves his phone into his face, and starts screaming about Seto’s “you’re adorable” reply to a no-make up, bedhead selfie Malik had sent (bc how dare Seto be cute and do romantic things like that and kiss Malik’s hand and feed Malik chocolate covered strawberries before sex and buy him jewelry when they’re just fucking!) and Ryou’s just like “oh my fucking god just date him already gtfo my room I want to sleep.” Uhm... Malik and Seto are in the middle of wedding planning (visiting Isis and Rishid in Egypt at the time) when Bakura comes back, but they’re talking about a spring wedding in one of the parks/gardens in Seto’s neighborhood and Seto makes a comment about having the ceremony under the wisteria tree because he wants to see wisteria blossoms in Malik’s hair. Malik imagines brushing stray petals from Seto’s hair as they lean in for the kiss that will bind them for life - and then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Bakura passes out after using all his energy to scream at Malik (bc he JUST returned from the shadows, having had to go through multiple trials and actually give up some of his memories to be able to return) and they put him in the guest bedroom while Malik calls Ryou for help. While they wait for Ryou, Bakura wakes up and crawls out the window and runs away LOL. Uhm... Malik has a fluffy white therapy cat, ykno one of those grumpy looking smoosh faced ones, named Bakura. At some point while they’re still in Egypt Ryou takes Bakura to Kul Elna, where there’s a monument/memorial to the people that died in the massacre, and a very close knit community. Ryou takes Bakura to a community garden run by a pregnant woman named Adela who also owns a restaurant there - the food grown by the locals is used in the restaurant and iirc there was also some kind of donations thing going on where struggling families could come and take whatever they needed provided they bring back seeds or the scraps for compost or help a bit in the garden or something like that. I don’t think we ever made it explicit but we were pretty much implying that Adela was Bakura’s Actual Mom reincarnated. I think Bakura was also around for the birth, but I can’t remember much of it aside from him holding the baby. But the modern Kul Elna village actually practiced a lot of the old traditions and Bakura’s like “whoa... fuck it I might move here”. Uuuhh Bakura tells Ryou how every family in Kul Elna had a special “tzai” (tea) recipe and it could only be shared with people close to said family...before he makes some for Ryou. I think my friend got this from Star Wars? But I like it and we’ve included it in basically all our rps since. Uhm~ At one point Bakura kisses Malik and Malik slaps him and that’s how Bakura knows It’s Really Over. Malik and Seto play rock paper scissors to decide who bottoms every now and then, but it’s moreso a way to say “I want to bottom tonight but for some reason my pride keeps me from saying it outright” (dear 2016 us: bottoming is not shameful!) but also we never rp’d it, it was part of a time skip, but Malik and Seto had a threesome with Ryou and Ryou ate Seto’s ass. That’s all. We had Atem coming back and I remember he wanted to try and smooth things over but whenever Bakura saw him he had a panic attack. Uhm...that’s all for now lol, I can’t really remember much else.

             18. pride

Unfortunately, again, this is not a document about prideshipping. Every so often I get emotional and I start writing emotional things that I think I’ll post to Facebook, but then I either chicken out because I don’t want to be known or perceived. Let people continue to think I’m a hyperactive halfwit and have no deeper meaning to my thoughts. It’s chill. 

But this one was about the concept of LGBT Pride and how I felt about it, how startled I am sometimes when I run across support and acceptance in unconventional or unexpected places, how I worked hard to be comfortable enough to make the “because I’m gay” jokes out loud because growing up in a rural Kansas town I was exposed to my fair share of homophobia, both from family and from community, and even the people I called friends. It was gonna be one of those “wow I love my friends and family because now that I’ve weeded out the assholes I’m surrounded by love and support and this is exactly how much it means to me and why!” kinda posts, but I’m really bad at those, so this stayed in my WIPs. Maybe when Pride month rolls around again and I get nostalgic and emotional again I’ll finish it.

             19. pure

This one’s a “fic” written about mine and my friend’s OCs from an old superhero/supervillain RP group. My character, Zaine, was separated from his girlfriend, Tansy, during a battle with heroes that killed a lot of supers and civilians alike. They were reunited after a few years (both had assumed the other had died and somehow hadn’t run into each other at all asdkja, it was our excuse as to why the characters had changed so much (since we were coming back to rp these characters after a few years ourselves, and wanted to revamp them a bit without them losing their relationships or experiences). But in that time, Zaine became better friends with his buddy Forest, and before the gal who made Tansy rejoined the group, me and the guy who made Forest were debating if Zaine and Forest should get together. But Tansy came back and Zaine got back together with her, but I made it canon that Zaine was crushing on Forest prior to that/still a bit after Tansy came back. Zaine is in a band and it’s sort of a running joke that his band members are all betting how long it takes for a threesome or for Tansy (who’s a bit possessive) to attack Forest, and they constantly tease Zaine about how much time he spends with Forest, make “hey don’t fuel the shippers” jokes, some other stuff along those lines, etc. It’s all good natured tho.

Anyway that’s all canon. The fic was “pureshipping” - Zaine, Tansy, and Forest. It was kinda me exploring how a relationship might develop between the three of them and I was writing little bits for my friends at work based on the answers they gave me to the “How would they react to/feel about this” questions I asked before turning that into a proper story. 

It started with Tansy trying to remember when exactly she became open to the idea of polyamory, since as I said, she’s a bit possessive and got jealous easily. She recalls a night Zaine brings Forest back to their apartment after a bachelor party, with them plastered and barely able to stand. They fall down, and Zaine shushes Forest because Tansy has her laptop out and she’s working. Forest shushes Zaine back, they put their fingers against each other’s lips and keep shushing each other, drawing closer until the only thing separating their mouths are their fingers, and Tansy’s just like “whoa” and something clicks because A) she sees Zaine’s lids lower while looking at Forest the way they do when he wants to kiss HER and B) why is she not freaking out about this isn’t she a poisonous little viper that hisses at anyone that tries to flirt with Zaine? But nope, she’s never been jealous of Forest even if his and Zaine’s relationship is fairly intimate for what most consider friendship. And then a few days later she sees one of those memes that’s like “Zaine has two hands” (bc Forest is also a famous musician, and he and Zaine do a lot together, both professionally on the music front and in like. Idk, livestreams and general hanging out. so ofc weirdos ship them, and since Zaine and Tansy went public there’s gonna be ppl that include her in the weirdness) on a TVD fan page she follows so she understands some of Zaine’s inside jokes and she sees a comment from Zaine’s official facebook that’s like “these hands were made for holding!” 

and Tansy’s like. “Oh shit. Zaine DOES have two hands!” so a few days later over breakfast she asks Zaine how he REALLY feels about Forest and ofc he’s like “he’s my best friend???” and Tansy’s like “ok but no for real how do you REALLY feel about him” and then calls him out about about having a crush on him and Zaine, who’s canonically weirdly monogamous is like “no!!” but Tansy whittles him down until he admits he “HAD” a crush on Forest before he and Tansy reconnected, but swears nothing happened between them and Tansy’s like “WOULD YOU LIKE TO?” and brings up the idea of Zaine dating Forest, and Zaine’s like “I’m with you, Tans, I didn’t mean to make you feel inadequate” and she’s like “I appreciate it but not what I meant. I know you, Zaine, I know you’re a lover and not being able to tell Forest how you really feel is hurting you, so if you want to then I highly encourage you ask him out” and after like 2 whole days of debating Zaine comes back to her saying he was going to, and then a few days later they invite Forest over to have The Talk and Tansy says they’re free to date, but Forest is still mourning Kelvin, his fiancé that “died” ((in quotes bc these aren’t our characters to actually kill so all characters are just assumed dead if the roleplayer didn’t rejoin but ofc if they came back “hey surprise i’m alive!) in the war between heroes and villains and says he needs time to think about it. He thinks it over for two whole weeks -and in the meantime, Tansy is happy to see his and Zaine’s relationship hasn’t changed at all- before agreeing. They sit down to discuss boundaries and permissions and whatever, and this line: 

Tansy would never dream of forbidding them from doing anything that she and Zaine would do, especially because Zaine was a lover. He loved with all his heart, soul, and body, as if his purpose in life was to treasure his partners so thoroughly they would never question his feelings for them. It would be unfair to Forest and downright cruel to Zaine for Tansy to restrict them.

aaaa I know I wrote it but I love it. So after boundaries are discussed and all that Zaine and Forest have their first proper kiss, and it’s so sweet Tansy feels breathless alongside them. The three of them cuddle up to watch a movie but Zaine’s paying more attention to the two of them, taking turns kissing each of them while Tansy and Forest accidentally start competing for who can pull the most reactions from Zaine. Forest starts spending every weekend at Zaine and Tansy’s place and it always ends with them cuddling on the couch while watching movies, Zaine between them, but overtime Forest and Tansy become more affectionate with each other and end game was obviously the three of them, but I stopped writing it just after Forest spent the first night in bed with them.

Tansy smiled and looped her arm around Zaine, cuddling up to his side like a cat seeking attention. Zaine’s own arm found its way around her shoulders to keep her close. The last thing Tansy saw before her eyes dropped closed was Forest on the other side of Zaine mirroring her, and the last touch she registered was Forest’s hand brushing over her arm.

[rad-puppeteer]

I got tagged by @goodbibarbarella ! Thanks!!

Posting late. As usual.

Rules: Answer the ten questions given and write ten new ones for ten other people.

1. Is there a piece of modern media that has inspired your creativity the most?

Usually the things that inspire me the most is whatever I’m into and it can change at the moment. I do have some things that I do enjoy for a lot longer. For a while, it’s been Dragon Age, now I’m kind of looking into past fandoms that I enjoyed but was never a part of.

2. Do you have to finish a book once you’ve started it, or are you able to walk away if it doesn’t interest you?

I used to be able to read an entire book before I move on to the next one. Sadly, I can barely read two pages before my mind wanders (even if it’s something I’m interested in - I’ll still read comics) and I put it down. Hence, I haven’t read a whole book in a long time and prefer audiobooks since I’ll be able to do other things while I listen.

3. Do you wait until you’ve finished a current project before you start a new one, or are you the kind of person that has a folder full of WIPs?

I usually have multiple projects running simultaneously, although I can only focus at one at a time. For a few months, I was only drawing patterns, now I’m focused on doing Inktober featuring my own characters because I haven’t drawn them in ages. Also that gives me chances to develop some of them further.

Inktober has since passed but now I’m working on my sketchbooks and patterns and planning to go back on working on my personal projects like my story hopefully soon!

4. Do things have to be just right for you to be able to write, or can you write wherever/whenever?

Has to be just right, unfortunately or else I won’t be able to focus at all.

5. Do you have a favorite terrible book?

If favorite terrible book means something that’s fun to riff and make a bit more tolerable, then 50 shades :| :|

6. Do you have a OTP? A NOTP? A BROTP?

Not at the moment! There’s a few that I don’t like, especially if the character feels unredeemable or are generally terrible, although a few of my faves are problematic. Some of my own OCs are BROTP! Sorry it’s so vague!!

7. Do you write fanfiction? If yes, what was the first piece/fandom you wrote?

The one I wrote and posted online many years ago was one for a game called Evolution Worlds but it’s bad because it’s also a crossover fic and I think some of my own OCs made it in. A revised version of it is still up on Fanfiction.net (rip)

8. Do you find drawing, writing, or reading more relaxing?

More for drawing. I’m still super critical of my writing so the very few that make it online may not even stay online. Even when I draw bad, I can see what I need to work on and fix the issue later. With my writing, I’m not so good with that and don’t really see immediately what I need to improve on.

9. What is your favorite cliché trope - to read and/or write?

Redemption arcs even if it doesn’t fully work 100% and it depends on the character, if they have a chance and are willing to take it and change.

10. How many journals do you have? Describe the prettiest one/your favorite

I don’t have pretty journals :[ I do have sketchbooks that I get binded in Office Max that I use for my art and/or notes. They’re quite plain with a plastic cover and a hard cover for the back.I like these because it’s with paper that I’ll use (I’m picky with papers :v )

I bind my own sketchbook now >D They’re super plain but I have it with a thick plastic cover and a black polymer back. I also threw in a page of no render paper so if I want to design my own covers for them, I can. And I can use whatever paper I want!

I also got tagged by @chupacabrasmustdie !! Will do both on one post because that’s how I roll because I’m too slow!

1. When it comes to character creation, what comes first to you, looks or personality? Something else?

Sometimes, I design the character first, then work out their personality and other times I kind of have an idea about a character’s personality, then I have to design a character based off that. I usually create characters wearing bland clothes, then have to go back and make them more unique. Remembers the time all my characters just have T-shirts and jeans.

2. Do you make playlists, inspiration boards, aesthetics, whatever? Why?

Sometimes I do, but usually I don’t because I usually get stuck trying to find stuff to use that I can credit back to and that’s also stock/creative commons for things that require photos I didn’t take. As for music, I’m not good with that because I’m not familiar with most music and I have a hard time trying to figure out what is fitting. I usually don’t pay attention to lyrics but more of the music itself either.

3. Have you ever changed/dropped a character because you felt you’d put too much of yourself into them?

There are characters I have the end up being overdeveloped and I usually take traits that don’t really fit the character and give it to another character. So it’s not much of dropping the character in this case but they might end up changinng enough that they feel like they’re a different character.

4. Do you have a Fictional Character Type™?

Don’t know what this is :[

5. If you write – how do you write? On paper, on computer? On your phone? Do you have a designated software / workspace?

I tend to go old school and write on paper, seeing most of the times I get inspired to write something, I’m away from the house. It would be awesome to have a designated work area where I can focus on stuff I need to get done.

6. Still on the writing topic – do you have a beta reader? Why?

No I don’t but I would love to hire someone to help structure the story for my comic because I still haven’t figured out how it should go. Also would like one for when I occasionally do writings, which is rare (planning to try to do NaNo this year)

7. Now for something more domestic – do you put music on to do chores? What genre/artist?

No, I suffer in silence when I do chores. I celebrate the completion of said chores with music afterwards and it’s usually whatever I feel like listening to and/or what shows up first on Youtube.

8. Do you like to cook for other people?

I don’t cook that much but sure! I’m hoping I’ll be able to cook more and experiment with new recipes!

9. Is there something you’re really enjoying atm? Hobby, sport, media, it’s all good.

Right now, I JUST started playing Grand Theft Auto V and I can see it already trying to take over my life. The world immersion is great and there’s cats and smartcars???

I’ve finally gotten over my GTAV obsession and now I’m playing Fallout 4 because I really, really want to beat that game. So far, I reached the Institute so I’m slowly getting there!

10. Anything you’re looking forward to in 2018 *knocks on wood*?

I’m looking forward to hopefully Titanic: Honor and Glory game finally getting released so I can explore the Titanic!! I’ve played the demos that have came out so far and it looks amazing so far!!!

Also finding a job and possibly moving out??

Possibly moving out in a few months and then hopefully finding a job afterwards!! Also, still looking forward to the game.

No tags.

[shadowdragonsheart]

Okay guys...

Things have been getting really tough at home, and I just really need some help right now. I am not one to do commissions or anything but right now, i’m a bit in a pinch.

I’m a 21 year old college student and artist, struggling financially, and my mother, sister, and I really need some help right now, as my dad has put us into a ridiculous financial bind by his own selfish reasons, and we’re not gonna have ANY income really soon, and we are now in debt because of his decisions. He is a very toxic man (he is a strong supporter of trump, let that give you some insight on how he is as a person), and my mom stays because she has no money to leave, and religious obligation to stay. But I have decided to come out of my shy shell so I can finally do something about this.

I am opening art and fanfic commissions.

Digital art:

It is taking a lot for me to come out and post my work because I am terribly self-conscious of it, anywho, pricing is:

Sketch: 5$

Clean Lineart: 12$

Simple, Cell shading: 18$ (see Sans, and the little dragon icon)

More Complex, soft shading, depending on detail: 25-35$ (everything else lmao)

+1 person/character: 5$

I am not so confident with backgrounds however, but if you insist, 5$ will get me to comply hahah ^^;

Traditional Art:

I tend to doodle on paper more often than digital, but I don’t often go full out on my pictures with coloring and such. Pricing is as follows:

Sketch/sketch page: 3-5$ (top right)

Clean Lineart: 8-10$ (similar to bottom two, but cleaner ^^;)

Simple shading: 12-15$ (middle, and top left)

Full color: 20-35 (see this image)

+1 person/character: 5$, unless its a sketch/sketchpage, that will be 2$ each.

same here on the background thing, 5$

Fluctuations are based on the usage of Tan paper, (5.5 in x 8.5 in/ 14 cm x 21.6cm. 80lb paper, just black/grey inks look gorgeous, along with color pencil as well) and and Cream/white paper ( 9 in x 12 in/ 22.9 cm x 30.5cm. 60 pound paper. Colors are more vibrant, however markers bleed heavily.)

I can send you a scan, at no charge, or do 2$ shipping, USA only for right now please)

With both digital and traditional art! 

I cannot do NSFW, though I can do things that may be hinting at it, but no hardcore porn please, sorry. I can do people, and as you can clearly see, I have been drawing a lot of Undertale lately, so thats about where I am right now. I may feel uncomfortable with certain things, and I may refuse, but we may be able to find a middle ground, just ask!

If you want your art to be exclusive, and to not be posted anywhere, we can do that, for 5$. Just think, a piece of art, just for you, and only you! (But please, this does not mean that you can post it as your own. If you want it public, I will pay you back 3$ and I will post it, and you can reblog to your heart’s content!)

For more of an insight on what I can do, You can see my art tag here, but i actually dont post here that often. so check out my instagram for other pieces of mine.

!!!Only three open spots for now. depending on complexity!!!

Fanfictions

It has been a little while since i’ve done fanfics, but I know that there is always someone who wants to see a little more of the characters they love. You can read through some of my work here. So far the only fandom I had written for at the time was DRAMAtical Murder, mostly nsfw stuff, so take caution. I do have an Ao3, however I have uploaded only one of my works on there, “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” 

I am willing to write anything, with anyone, be it NSFW, or whatever. However, there is a limit as to what I can do, and if I feel uncomfortable with a topic, I will refuse, but that does not mean I won’t find a middle ground with you. Just ask me. 

All ships are welcome, it doesn’t even have to be shippy, it can be something goofy, or a crack fic, just shoot me an idea, and we can work something out. I am a part of a lot of different fandoms, but I don’t know them all, so i apologize if I am unfamiliar with the characters, I will not feel comfortable writing the story. 

Now to the pricing!

It’s simple.

1$ per 100 words. 

So, 5$ for 500 words, 15$ for 1.5k words, and so on.  

If you want your story to be completely exclusive, only to you, and not posted online, anywhere, that would be an extra 5$. A personalized, single copy of a fic that no one will read but you! (However this does not mean you have permission to post it anywhere as your own. please be considerate of this. Same rules apply as the art if you want it public.)

I am open to as many of these as I can handle. I will let you know if I cannot accept any more

Final words:

I honestly would appreciate it if you could share this post if you can’t do a commission at this time, don’t worry, I totally understand, trust me. If you don’t want any of my art or works, I understand! it totally may not be your thing, and it’s totally fine :) if you want, you can just show a little love by buying me a cup of coffee, so I can stay sane a little longer.

Please message me if you have any questions, concerns,or would like to help! Thank you so much for your time, friends 💕

[mgnemesi]

I dreamed Stucky again, so you get a non-fic

So, the details are running away from me, leaving a strange haze of ~impressions~ and convictions. It’s an AU. Somehow, it reminds me of Planet Hulk but also not. It’s strange. It’s probably some post-apocalypse world, where technology *is* there, but they use it sparingly, and clothes are more reminiscent of a land straight out of a fantasy book. There is some evil person. Of course there is. And there is also, but I learned this slowly as the -uhm- story developed? There’s also this belief that people can bond their souls, and become stronger for it. Of course, it’s all bullshit. …or is it? 

Anyway, people pair up at random and start doing a series of rituals to bond and gain unparalleled strength - because being strong is the only way to survive. There are a lot of fights. Not as much in the streets but in a Coliseum and in fight rings. Fighting gives you prestige, money, fame. Sometimes you HAVE to Fight to be able to put some bread on your dinner table. Sometimes, people Fight because they enjoy the sport of killing. Sometimes, people are kidnapped off the street to offer a spectacle. There was a series of at least 3… Or 4? Rituals to go through to get a proper Bonding.  I remember a tattoo over the heart that matches something of the other person (Steve is the one who gets it). This world also has a lot of magicky stuff so the tattoo had to… This is hard to explain. This world is chock full of physical manifestation of spiritual stuff. A person’s “Destiny” or “Essence” or some other similar thing manifests as a delicate chain. So basically Steve drew something himself (prob Bucky’s eyes or hands or face), picked Bucky’s chain, coiled it over the design, adding to the existing art. And then the drawing kinda… Absorbed the chain and transferred over to Steve’s skin.  Second ritual: the two gems that represent each person’s “Soul” are somehow united/fused/I have no idea together into a single pendant (that Bucky wore on a choker with the pendant nestled in the hollow of his neck)  …and I cannot for the life of me remember the other two. There were more Rocks, though.  I also remember Steve carrying around his mother’s pearls as a powerful remainder and good luck charm, and I remember it helping unexpectedly in the binding but I don’t know how.  The great part of all this, is that most of the ritual stuff *is* bullshit. Rituals hardly, if ever, work, but Fighters perform them anyway and try to convince themselves that they are unbeatable and will live to see another day.

In this complex and deadly world, Steve is a very strong person who loathes Fighting, and managed to Fight only rarely, never to the death,by choice and to protect something or someone. 

Bucky is… Not like that. He also LOATHES Fighting, but he’s good at it, very strong and resilient, so he’s been used and abused his whole life, until he managed to escape and become a Wanderer. 

Neither of them is bonded, because, 1) they’re plenty strong enough and 2) come ON. Bonding? Souls? That will NEVER work, let’s be serious (besides, Steve thinks privately, I wouldn’t use someone for strength. Besides, Bucky thinks, who’d ever want to be saddled with the Soul of someone like me? Besides,they both think, why drag someone with me in this quest to stop the Fighting, when I’m not sure that I… or Them… have a chance to survive? Why would I be so cruel?)  The two of them meet accidentally in their way to the Fighting Coliseum, which they plan to infiltrate and destroy, and then they want to erase the Fighting and completely overthrow the system… The usual “save-the-world” routine. They don’t… Hit it off immediately. There’s not full blown Cap VS the Winter Soldier violence between them, but they are truly NOT bosom buddies. TRULY NOT. 

They bicker and they glare and they close off in sullen silences and pout and sassy one another and discover they’re accidentally and incredibly attuned in everything, not just fighting. They warm up to one another, not even that slowly AND BOND COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT.  Like, they get noticed during their quest to dismantle the Fighting Rings by whoever runs the Coliseum (Hydra?) and goons come to kidnap them. Bucky’s Chain gets snagged off as he is dragged away by some assailants. Steve panics, and to keep the chain safe he curls it gently and carefully between the pages of his sketchbook, trying not to ruin the delicate, silvery string, coiling it softly with slow concentration… and as soon as he lets the chain go. BOOM! Insta-tattoo. To say he’s stunned is an understatement. SINCE WHEN DOES SOMEONE’S CHAIN DO THAT? DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN? IS THIS PART OF THE RITUAL OMG. He proceeds to go and save Bucky, who honesty didn’t need saving anyway. Steve has no time to explain about the chain when they meet up, because they have enemies to fight off. They’re being overwhelmed. Steve is down and about to get killed and Bucky, in some fit of helpless rage, presses his palm to Steve’s Soul Stone, in such a way they it comes into contact with his own, too, even if it’s not deliberate. Blood and sweat is running between their skin and their Stones, and desperately, with his teeth gritted as he braces for the end, he thinks: “Save Steve! Save Steve! I don’t care if I die here in the bloody dirt like a dog but Steve deserves to live!” And BOOM! Insta-joining of the Soul Gems and a surge of power for Steve, who fights off the goons pinning him.  They end up thrown inside the Coliseum anyway, where they bicker and sass each other some more… Even as they care for each other’s wounds, washing and bandaging them with slow, careful hands, heads bent close enough their eyelashes are touching. They complete (again, by TOTAL accident, the two dorks) the rest of the Ritual and THEY DON’T EVEN REALISE IT, OMG. My dream ended with the two of them gearing up to Fight in the Coliseum. Steve had his shield at this point, which maybe was a physical manifestation of the Bond. Schmidt (I think he was either the Head of the Coliseum, or the Champion… Or both. Both work too, but I can’t imagine who he’s Bonded with. UNLESS HE USES SOME KIND OF DARK MAGIC DISGUISED AS THE BOND, AND HE PICKS UP RANDOM PEOPLE TO USE AS “BATTERIES” WHEN HE FIGHTS, PEOPLE WHO GET DRAINED AND DIE AFTER EACH ROUND. This works, too. Maybe that’s what most Hydra Fighters do, and that is why Steve wants so bad to destroy them and stop the Fighting) Schmidt, like I was saying, is gleefully waiting for them to get in the arena, because he’s looking forward to properly crush the fools who dared to try and overthrow Hydra. Steve is all leap-into-fight-first-I’ll-think-about-strategy-later-if-ever, whereas Bucky is burning with righteous fury and takes the time to prepare himself (I don’t wanna say long bath and oils but. Uh…), to wear ALL HIS ARMOUR, STEVE YOU FOOL, to prepare and wear his weapons… And also to wear all the physical manifestation of the bond, so not just the choker but at least another trinket and… I think the Arm is a result of the bond, too. Steve is on his way to get his ass handed to him, but Bucky swoops in and saves the day. However it happens, I’m sure they win, anyway (UNLIKE Planet Hulk… I’ll NEVER be over THAT ending). As for the reason why they bonded so effortlessly and actually DID get stronger, unlike many others: the Bonding ritual is NOT bullshit, but it’s a commitment based on compatibility and strong feelings. You have to build up to it. You can’t just stitch two souls grueling together and cross your fingers for the best. It’s basically a slight twist were soulmates do exist, but it’s not all so “inevitable”.   Happily Never After is NOT optional, here.  I can so see them kissing for the first time after their last Fight… Surrounded by a cheering crowd… All bloody and sweaty, with mussed hair and torn clothes… And perhaps they “collected” the Avengers along the way, or the Howling Commandos, and there is this Resistance who storms the Coliseum while Steve and Bucky fight and kill Schmidt… And then Tony, Nat, Sam, and all are there to witness the kiss and cheer (and betting money is exchanged. Just saying) I don’t know if later they keep up their life as wandering heroes or if they settle down and are pushed into becoming, like, King Rogers and King Barnes *rotfl*. I like both.