#like my credit score or hair. lol

[sanchoyo]

literally cannot tell if I’m having a manic episode or actually genuinely just hyper+happy bc it’s finally getting warm and pretty outside and perhaps that’s Doing Away With my bad 3 month long seasonal depression for the time being 🤔 I mean it’s ….nice? To have so much sudden energy the past like, week or so, but also vaguely accompanied with feelings of Dread bc 1. Why 2. How long will it last 3. Can I stop any Impulses and avoid doing anything Regrettable while I am Like This. Bc the track record historically has not been GREAT

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Tis I again, 🪱 anon! Been busy with work and looking at this blog on my free time again. I was wondering if you could do some creeps (slender and some of your choice, typing this during work haha) reactions to male reader’s accomplishments? Like getting a promotion basically. Sorry if the wording is off, busy day!

Oh and do it when you have time, love the blog still! Keep up the good stuff B)

-🪱 anon

I love getting to write for slender more people need to request him :((

Credits to divider go to saradika-graphics! Go follow them and support their work

Thank you so much for requesting!!

Slenderman

Slender isn't very expressive with his emotions, but he does show you that he is proud of you in his own way

He will briefly congratulate you once you turn in for the night, placing a hand on your back and muttering a "good job, love"

He will then set aside all of his work for the day in order to "properly celebrate"

This is a big deal, as he is never free from his work and it takes a lot for him to get even a few hours off

So getting a whole night just to yourselves is a major score

He will arrange for you to go get a professional spa day, complete with a soaking, mud mask, full body massage and getting your hair (if you have any) cleaned up

After that, he will ask that you put on some outing clothes, then takes you out for dinner to the underworld's finest restaurant

While you eat all you want, he will sip (more like absorb) some wine and softly mutter about how happy and how proud he is that you were able to finally reach a goal of yours

Once you finish up there, he will take you back to the manor, changing into more comfy clothes with you and cuddling with you in his bed until you fall asleep

Since he doesn't have a need for sleep, he will simply get up and resume his work once you are out

Masky

Once Tim catches wind of your promotion he is super excited!

Depending on what kind of a person you are, he will either take you out partying or you will stay inside and order your favorite food while spending time together

If you like to party, you will throw on some clubbing clothes before checking out some local areas

Once you find a nice place, you spend the night dancing and drinking to celebrate

You then both stumble home, giggling and chatting all the way and promptly pass tf out once you reach the bed

If you'd rather stay inside, he will order your favorite restaurant while you get into your pajamas

Once the food gets there, he sets the food up and wraps an arm around you

You choose a movie you want to watch, and spend the rest of the night watching it

All the while, Tim will press kisses to you, whispering about how amazing you are, how you deserve the whole world, and how he's so happy for you

Toby

He will be over the moon!

He insists that you celebrate by buying yourself something special with your new shiny money

(And because of this, he also ends up buying you something lol)

Celebration with him is pretty relaxed

Just the two of you cuddled up in his bedroom, you giggling while he kisses you every where he can reach

Every now and then he'll stop to press his cheek to yours, or to say how excited he is, but then it's right back to it

You end up staying up all night (not to worry, you have the next day off)

Somewhere around 11:00 p.m Toby heads down to go get a whole tub of chocolate ice cream for the two of you

You sit up eating the ice cream, listening to music, watching movies, cuddling, you name it

Toby is super tired the next morning and insists that you stay in bed with him all day so he can kiss you whenever he happens to wake up

[illicitlimerence-writes]

guiding lights | m. verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x singer!actress!reader word count: 1.7k words request: nope, at least i don’t think so. prompt: putting up decorations ⎯ “wow… that’s… a lot of lights.” from this prompt list. not my prompts, credits to the person who created it! warnings: allusions to sex, language, idk what else a/n: am i ready to jump back into a month-long challenge? nope, but i will try my best. i have tomorrow’s fic ready but i’m not too sure i’ll be able to complete this lol. friendly reminder that my requests are closed!

my masterlist / this is part of the 'superheroes and flat caps' series. find all the parts here! / 25 days of christmas masterlist

she sighed, dropping her luggage once she opened the door, leaning her weight against it to close it as she entered her home. the house was cold, and dark. not even the light in the kitchen was on, which dropped her spirits a little.

it was officially the start of her winter holidays, max’s had started a week prior, -technically two, but he’d had other events that first week - which meant he’d been all alone in their house for a week, bored out of his mind with no company or distractions other than his simulator, netflix, or their daily videochats. 

during those last ones, she’d insisted he visited some of his friends, or invited them into their new home, but he refused, said she was supposed to be there to welcome guests, too. it was their first official home, and max couldn’t take all the credit for scoring such a great place like that. their new house was big, spacious, without being too much. she’d drawn a line when the real estate agent showed them a house with not one but two jaccuzis, in the backyard, besides a really large pool. she could see max was really, actually contemplating it, but she shook her head and muttered ‘uh-uh,’ her eyes open in a way that said ‘don’t even think about it.’ 

so, max was really taking the word ‘vacation’ literally. doing absolutely nothing but sit on the couch and watch movies - a few big releases he’d missed during the year-, and yell at the tv whenever a character did something stupid. he was living his best life.

meanwhile, she was working hard, finishing her new album, planning release dates and other marketing strategies ahead of the new year. and once everything was planned, she was more than eager, ready, to go home.

although this welcome wasn’t what she’d had in mind when she thought of finally coming home to max. it seemed that he’d finally listened to her advice and had gone out of the house, for once. she couldn’t be upset about it, max wasn’t someone that took solitude easily, he enjoyed being around people, although he didn’t express it verbally most of the time. 

she turned on the lights as she made her way in, grabbing her suitcase and walking to the washing room, making a mental note to wash all of her stuff the following day. after that, she walked further into the house, and couldn’t help but smile, a soft, content sigh leaving her lips as she took in the fact that this was theirs. not just hers, or max’s, but theirs. they’d jumped into this adventure together, and it still didn’t feel real.

a thud coming from upstairs caught her attention, she frowned as she heard another sound, like something had fallen. she rushed to a closet, where max kept his golf clubs, and grabbed one, soundlessly walking up the steps. there was an open door, the third room to the right, what they’d decided would be max’s space. she got closer, trying to peek her head in, and just at that second, max came out of the room.

she yelled, both in shock and surprise, which caused max to do the same.

“why are you holding a club?!” he yelled/asked, making her drop the object to the floor.

“i thought you were a burglar!” she ran her hand through her hair, feeling her heartbeat quickening, “i saw all the lights out and thought you were out somewhere,” she closed her eyes and placed a hand on her chest, catching her breath.

“jesus,” max’s chest was heaving, and they both stood there for a few seconds, recovering from the scare, and once that had passed, she jumped straight in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, he turned, placing her back against the wall for support, and looked her in the eyes, saying the words he’d been waiting for since he got to monaco, “welcome home.”

she smiled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close, she buried her face in his neck, breathing in his scent and relaxing under his touch. one of his hands found its way to her hair, he tilted his head and placed a kiss to her neck as he curled his fingers around her hair.

“did you finish the song?” he asked, there was one song left in the album that was not ready yet. and she was okay with it not being in the album, she wanted to perfect it, no matter how long it took. ‘you are in love’ was being a pain in her ass, but this song felt too special, too important for them, for their relationship. 

“not yet.” she sighed, “i guess you’ll just have to do more romantic things for me.” she chuckled.

max stilled for a second, before laughing as well, kissing her again as he led her to their room.

-

after catching up (and making up for lost time), a forgotten thought ran through her mind.

“hey, what were you doing in your office earlier? when i came in?” she asked, looking up at him, her chin resting on his chest, fingers playing with the gold chain hanging from his neck.

“oh!, i was getting something i needed,”

“for what?”

“something.”

“and what’s that something?” she raised an eyebrow.

“a surprise, for you. but it’s not ready yet. actually, i should go finish,” he said, gently cupping her chin and lifting her from his chest, he got up from the bed, putting on clean boxers and sweatpants, and throwing a hoodie on. 

“maxwell?” she called for him, max chuckled, it always humored him how she’d find different names to call him when she was annoyed at him, “you’re not seriously leaving me like this, right now,” she held the sheets up to her chest, watching him look back with a smile on his face. 

“i’ll be right back.” he declared.

“max!”

“you’ll like it, i swear!”

“payback’s a bitch!” she reminded him, falling down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“i’ll be waiting for it, then. i’ll come back for you when it’s ready!” she heard his voice getting lower as he walked down the stairs, getting farther away from her.

-

she took her time alone to take a warm shower, doing her extended skincare routine, noticing how some of her products were less ful than what she remembered from the last time she was home. she chuckled at the thought of max experimenting with her products, applying the creams and serums to his face as his thought process told him to. 

“it’s done!” max said as he walked in the room, his head whipping around as he looked for her. “baby?” he asked.

“bathroom!” she said, and turned her head to look at him as she finished washing her hands. 

“you stole my hoodie,” he noticed.

“what happened to ‘what’s mine is yours’?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“there’s not a ring on my finger yet,” he said, making her laugh.

“there’s not one on mine either. better treat me right if you want me to stay,” she teased, “you’ve got points off for leaving me like that.”

“oh, but this will make up for it, i swear.”

“hm, that’s up to me to decide.”

he grabbed her hand, bringing her close to him, his free hand found her cheek, pressing his lips against hers, she responded softly, sliding an arm on his waist, curling her fingers on the fabric of his sweatshirt. her other hand reached inside his hoodie, grabbing the chain and seeing the small charm again, a smile on her face as she remembered the moment she saw it for the first time.

“no persuading me,” she tapped his nose, “now show me.”

he grabbed her hands, leading her out of the room and down the stairs, meanwhile he spoke.

“so i know this is our second christmas together, but it’s our first in our new home, and we have to make it special, right?” he asked, waiting for her to agree.

“right,” she said warily, not knowing where this was headed.

“we’ll need to get a lot more decorations compared to what we had last year, we have so much space here. anything you want. and i know you looove sparkles, so-” he said, leaving her through the sliding door, out into the garden, where everything she could see was warm glowing light.

little lights everywhere. and i mean, everywhere. 

around the trunks of the trees, all along the edge of the pool, the chairs and the roof of the house. even a few christmas trees made completely out of lights.

“wow, that’s… a lot of lights,” she whispered, overwhelmed by the amount of lights everywhere she looked.

“yeah, they’re to guide you home,” he said cheesily, a sly smile on his face. it was meant to be a joke, but she grinned at him, loving how open max had become to express his love for her, to her.

she hugged him, wrapping her arms around him so tight that max huffed out a little, before placing his arms around her shoulders and placing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“you know… when i said about doing more romantic things… i didn’t mean like right now. not that i’m complaining but-”

“i know. i just… i don’t know, i feel like since this is out first christmas and other holidays here, i think we should go all out.”

“that’s alright, we can do that.” she nodded, turning her head around, her eye catching a different kind of glimmer. the chain hanging from his neck, the charm with her initial on it, seemed to sparkle, reflecting the lights all around them as he moved. he grabbed her hands, taking a step back and twirled her around. she chuckled, not expecting the movement. she came back to him, placing a hand on his chest as he pulled her close. he started swaying, his free hand meeting her waist. and they slow danced under the moonlight, and all the christmas lights. “thank you. i love it.”

“you’re very welcome,” he smiled, kissing the side of her temple. 

“you’re paying the electric bill this month and next, though,” she made it clear.

“yup, i figured.” he laughed.

“we can start decorating tomorrow,” she declared.

[httpsdana]

Since it's the father's day tommorow(at least for me), can you do something with Julián Álvarez? Having a secret child with him and letting everyone know during the ucl final would be super cute.

I totally didn't have a dream about this and now needed it to be written lol.

Champion~Julian Alvarez

*GIF isn't mine. credits to the owner*

FIRST REQUEST FOR JULIAN OMG. I LOVE THIS BOY SM. anyways I don't think tomorrow is father's day here but we move on I'm writing this. this is rushed I'm sorry but hope you enjoy <33

you can request from my prompt list

this is my master list

players/drivers I write for

y/n and Julian had a child of 6 months now. The couple were young and definitely didn't expect a baby at such a young age, but they never regreted it. Their child only made their bond stronger.

They went public years ago, before Julian had all the attention on him like now. But they never posted anything about their child, wanting their kid to have a peaceful and normal childhood before being dragged into the life of social media

"if we win tonight, everyone's knowing about our baby boy" were Julian's words before leaving for Istanbul.

y/n wanted Man City to win. She wanted to see her boyfriend winning 4 trophies this season. She didn't mind showing off her kid and she was actually quite excited

y/n watched the match from the locker room. not wanting her child to hear all the noises from the stadium. They weren't as loud in the lockers.

"yes!" y/n screamed when Rodri scored the opening goal, feeling her heart beat against her chest rapidly.

Her child, Diego, looked up at her with wide eyes, before he started giggling. y/n smiled and leaned down to were he was sat in his car seat that they got.

"they're almost there mi amor. they're almost there" she mumbled, soothing his brown hair with her fingers

He was a mini version of Julian, same smile same eyes same hair and same everything. She was glad he for these these features from his father

y/n jumped up as the final whistle was blown. Tears started streaming down her face before she grabbed her child and started kissing his face

"they did it baby. they're champions" she mumbled, showering his fave with kisses

She wiped her tears and waited a bit before she was allowed on the pitch

As soon as she stepped on the field, Julian's eyes were on them. He ran to them, giving them a huge hug.

"you did it baby. you're a champion. for the fourth time" she whispered in his ear, tightening her grip around his neck

He pulled away and kissed her lips passionately. Wiping her tears away and kissing her cheeks. He took Diego from her arms and grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers

"lets introduce him to the team yeah?" he asked with a smile. y/n nodded and walked with him.

Everyone was surprised to see Julian with a kid, but they all welcomed him with love.

the comments consisted of "he's just like you" or "what a cutie he is" or "congratulations! he's gonna have the best parents"

"oh my god Julian you have baby?!" Ronnie, Phil's child, said in pure shock. y/n giggled at the young boy, scooping him in her arms and lifting him so he was at the same level as Diego

"yes Ronnie. this is Diego" he moved Diego closer to him, in which Ronnie leaned in and touched his hair

He gasped in surprise

"his hair is so soft. not like yours" he said, keeping his fingers in Diego's hair

y/n laughed at his comment, before kissing his cheek and putting him down

"let's take a picture with the trophy" Julian said, walking to were the trophy was

The picture was taken and posted on Instagram hours later, and the love Diego got from Julian's fans was undescribable.

[lightwise]

TBB S3E8 - Reactions

- Poor Echo—he really is not getting any screen time is he

- Crosshair’s look of concern when he tells Omega she should be staying away from Rex and Echo 😭

- Okay Omega’s guilt is so clouding her judgement at this point. Poor kid really thinks it’s her fault that all those clones died—no baby girl, the shadow assassin would have gone there anyway whether you were there or not. My heart aches for her

- Hunter 🤝 Crosshair: keep Omega safe at all costs.

- Hunter’s lil “come on” head tilt 🤩

- PHEE!!!! I have been waiting for you!!!

- Crosshair: Who!?! 😶 PRICELESS. EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECTED FROM HIM MEETING HER 🤣🤣🤣

- Not Omega serving as the narrative admitting that Phee is, in fact, much to our dismay, a pirate 🏴‍☠️

- I’M GETTING BOTH MY GIRLS BACK IN ONE EPISODE

- Just slipping a Tech mention in there, why don’t you stop ripping my heart out

- Fennec!!!

- And Cross has the same reaction to Fennec 😆 —he’s finally starting to learn about the life that his family has lived during their time apart

- Hunter being in full dad mode and also being very perceptive about Crosshair hiding his hand issues. He may not always be able to say this about himself, but Hunter admitting that ignoring something won’t make the problem go away is huge growth from him.

- Thank goodness Hunter can pilot. This would be a very short season otherwise

- Cool space station

- I love when Star Wars is grimy city underbellies and neon lights 🤩

- The guys look SO GOOD in purple. Jus sayin

- As does Fennec (Queen that she is)

- I’d let those boys hem me in a booth anytime

- Ming-Na Wen is really pulling out all the stops for Fennec’s voice

- Hunter in neon bar lighting is something so personal to me

- “Ruined one of my scores” lol Fennec is salty tonight

- “More than you’ve got” she doesn’t even know how much they have on them but she knows it’s not enough 🤣 but also where is that 30k credits that Omega won?? They could have used that?

- “We made a deal. I’m going to keep it as long as you hold up your end”

- “Ten? For THAT? That’s what I thought”

- Gosh that water looks nasty

- Wet helmet Hunter instead of WET HAIR HUNTER??? Fffffffsssss Jennifer *clicks tongue in disappointment*

- That is so many mines

- “Close doesn’t count” 🥺

- It’s really interesting to me that this show has been focused solely on the Batch as a family this season. We’ve been on Pabu multiple times and have seen hardly any other residents, no one trying to be neighborly or prying (even though we know Shep has tried to make sure Crosshair is comfortable). The focus is on the Batch themselves this time, not their dynamic with the outside world.

- “You don’t like anything” “true” at least he’s self aware by now lol

- Batcher’s like “you like meeee!”

- Hunter’s senses are back baybee

- Never knew I needed to see Wrecker yeeting space alligators until today. Glorious. Straight up punching them in the face 🤣🤣🤣

- Ohhhh Wrecker giving back her sass blow for blow!

- “So what happened with the kid?”

- I will die on the hill that Fennec cares about Omega deep down

- “Just…seems odd. Considering our past”

- Love that the atmosphere on this planet is orange and it’s Fennec’s episode

- “They thought Omega would be safer with you guys. Guess they were wrong about that” she is not pulling any punches

- “Money’s not everything” you right boy

- “That’s because you don’t have any” phewww 🤣🤣🤣

- Pulling the blaster across the throat in a kill motion?? Hunter what are you doing to me right now 🥵

- “Pretty much” lolol

- This dude is so creepy looking. Giant bug eyes were not what I was expecting

- “You heard me!!” Oh Wrecker is done, done

- Man this guy does not go down easy.

- Bug spit. Nuff said

- “I doubt that” oh Cross, honey, I know, I get it

- THEY HELD HANDS

- I REPEAT SHE HELD HIS HAND

- Sorry I’m having Kenobi show Obi-Wan and Leia handhold flashbacks 😭😭😭😭

- Okay okay I’m back. I think.

- “You’ve missed a lot” “I know”

- Okay just rip my heart out why don’t you

- That is one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen

- Pointy finger scrunched brow Hunter is the best Hunter

- “You can either fight me or trust me. Good choice” 😮‍💨

- Hunter getting tipped off that ramp is uh…is ummm…doing something to me. What, I’m not sure 👀🫠

- I also find it really interesting that they’ve barely had us on the Marauder at all this season. Foreshadowing?

- Both Fennec and Phee make the same two fingered salute to the boys after talking to them. Cute.

- Ohhhhh is she…is she selling them out?? Who is she talking to? Cad?

- Wait no she wouldn’t pass them over to someone else if any money could be gained on her side. I bet she’s talking to Ventress. I really wanna know how those two know each other 👀

- Wow. Things are really going to get interesting from here. Can’t wait.

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 19)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 7,943

Summary: Javier and Horacio deal with the aftermath of a fraught morning and try to make the most of life in Madrid. Meanwhile, Señora Romero and Chucho have some words of wisdom (as usual) for them.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Emotional smut (including ass play, spanking and aftercare), brief discussions of PTSD symptoms and healing, grief and parental loss, discussions of sexuality/coming out, allusions to period-typical and historical prejudices, smoking, swearing.

Notes: So, here's the second part of their Madrid adventures at last! But where to next? 👀 I'm currently working on chapter 20, which is taking a while because life, and also I swear the closer to the end I get, the harder it is to write lol.

Thank you once again to anyone still reading, or anyone who has recently jumped on board this emotional rollercoaster. I'm blown away by the comments I've received over the last couple of years and I still love hearing from people, so please feel free to drop me a line if you'd like to ❤️

I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested. 

Whilst obviously I do not own Narcos or its characters, please do not copy, re-post, or plagiarize this fic in any capacity on this or other platforms. If you wish to create any fan works inspired by it, please provide a credit or send me a message if in doubt.

Chapter 19: In The Same Boat

After breakfast and back at their apartment, Horacio took a shower, relieved to finally be rid of his running clothes now that the sweat had long since dried.

Javier soon joined him, capturing his waist from behind as eager lips met salty wet skin.

Horacio didn’t question why Javier was on his second cleansing of the day, instead nudging against the ridge of his shoulder, letting the steam envelop them and the hot jets wash away the stress of an eventful morning.

They wanted answers about what happened in their absences, but for now, their bodies did the talking. They gave into unspoken needs and an insistent craving to be as close as possible now further hurdles had been overcome, even if they weren’t sure which ones yet.

If Javier was hungrier and more demanding with what he took, Horacio indubitably noticed but didn’t object. How could he mind Javier’s nails scraping and scoring, marking Horacio like conquered territory?

Or the way he crouched between Horacio’s spread legs, parting generous handfuls of firm flesh, mouthing and biting with fervour along each buttock towards their inner seams, the bristle of facial hair scratching in all the right places.

Javier was guided by the moans above him as his nose pressed forwards, licking a trail north and south, alternating between flattening his tongue and outlining meandering patterns, skirting down to Horacio’s perineum and back up. Because anything less wouldn’t have been enough.

All Horacio could do was steady himself against the wall with one hand, the other rolling over supple skin and the taut ridges of his pectoral and abdominal muscles, ebbing and flowing like the Sierra de Guadarrama, a bittersweet reminder of his Andean homeland on their doorstep.

He engulfed and tweaked his nipples, journeying below the soft slope of his stomach and groin, fondling his balls, his fingers briefly making contact with Javier’s mouth and grounding them instantly.

A desperate growl rumbled through Horacio’s chest as he clenched his fist around the shaft of his cock and tugged in time with Javier lapping at the tight ring of muscle until he broached it. Shallow thrusts to begin with, increasing the depth and pace the fiercer Horacio shook and shuddered.

Javier never grew tired of being the one to reduce Horacio to a lascivious wreck, knowing it was an honour exclusively bestowed upon him, made even sweeter now they were no longer looking over their shoulders, waiting for a cruel twist of fate to intervene.

With that thought fresh in Javier’s mind, he didn’t hold back, devouring with ravenous greed, the ache in his knees insignificant compared to the sounds he was drawing from Horacio, who was all wounded grunts and choked back sobs, and it was music to Javier’s ears.

It didn’t take much for Horacio to fall apart on the fire of Javier’s tongue and the ice of his own iron grip, his eyes screwed shut and his spare hand thumping against the porcelain tiles as he came with a silent cry, teeth clamped down on his bottom lip for the benefit of their neighbours.

Once Horacio had recuperated, Javier peeled himself off the floor and manoeuvred them under the faucet, their mouths fusing together as they rinsed off. There was no let-up, the rough collision of limbs building momentum until Javier’s breathless invocations echoed as loudly around the room as the sweet percussion of a palm against his ass, a slow burn blush blooming with each prayer answered.

“Are you sure?” had been Horacio’s first question, always compelled to check in whenever Javier displayed vulnerability like this.

But Javier was certain. He needed it in the way his lungs sucked on air. Needed Horacio to hold the reins now, to clear his mind so he could focus on the present. On every sensation, word of encouragement and exhalation. To leave physical evidence on Javier’s body, an undeniable reminder that Horacio was here, safe, and trusted to take care of him precisely how he desired.

So, who was Horacio to refuse? Not when Javier’s supplicating gaze scorched his own, kindling an inscrutable and mortifying urge to sink to his knees and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

But instead, he positioned Javier facing the tiles, smoothing his hand back and forth, massaging each pert cheek to stimulate the blood flow, letting the anticipation build because he knew that was part of the thrill for Javier, not knowing when he would strike.

Seconds of stillness followed; the steady stream of water the only sound to be heard until Horacio permeated the silence with the flat of his palm.

He started off with little more than a mild tap, gauging where Javier was at, easing into it and letting him dictate how far this went.

A series of progressively bracing swats came next, alternating from side to side, caressing the areas he targeted as a balm to the prickling heat. “You’re doing so good for me, Javier,” he praised, his free hand stroking up and down Javier’s back in reassurance. “Tell me what you need.”

Javier’s forehead rested on his hand against the wall, his teeth wedged into his fist whenever Horacio let loose. “I need more,” he stated after taking a deep breath, knowing Horacio would waver in granting his request without such succinct clarity.

Several more vigorous slaps ensued, causing something between a huff and a groan to release from Javier’s throat as his body jerked and his cock twitched. “Harder,” came his response no sooner had the vibrations reached the seat of his ass.

Horacio took his time despite Javier’s demand, subduing with delicate circles as though polishing fine glass, allowing the cascading water to counteract the sting.

There was an agonising pause, rendering it impossible for Javier to second guess when it would end until it was too late.

A crystal clear thwack crackled through the air, followed by another and another, sending Javier into a wave of spasms that left bite marks on the back of his hand and tears welling in his eyes.

He was sure there must be pain buried beneath the pleasure that he would feel later, but for now, he was floating, delirious, gone. Fuck any drug the cartels had to offer because no way in hell could it ever be as good as this.

But he was determined not to take himself in hand or grind against the tiles; that was too easy. This required complete concentration and discipline, reducing Javier’s existence to nothing but Horacio’s touch and his response.

“Horacio, please.” He panted out his final beg for mercy, knowing it wouldn’t take much more to bring him home.

Horacio couldn’t be sure if it was the light glinting in the trickling water droplets, illuminating the imprint of his hand that had him fraying at the edges, or how his palm tingled, triggering a chain reaction all the way down to his groin again. But before he could stop himself, he covered Javier’s back with his body, his left hand meeting Javier’s on the wall.

The scent of Javier’s shampoo was potent, intoxicating, and lethal as Horacio buried his face in a mass of thick, damp hair, almost knocking the wind out of them simultaneously. They kept still, both trying to deepen their tremoring breaths, Horacio counting to 10 in his head and Javier closing his eyes in preparation.

Horacio retreated, leaving his left hand connected with Javier’s whilst his right resumed its position, gently cupping and kneading, teasing his knuckles between Javier’s cheeks.

There was a lull in movement, the tide receding as a prelude to the incoming tsunami, their pulses deafening in their ears as time froze and suspended them in a torturous self-imposed vacuum.

But then a seismic release set them free, plunging Javier’s weight against the tiles, no amount of chewing on his fist able to suppress the whimpered cry or control his quivering form as he came with Horacio’s name somewhere on the tip of his tongue but lost amidst the onslaught of concentrated bliss.

He couldn’t move even if he wanted to, merely trying to breathe whilst Horacio removed the shower hose from its cradle, letting the restorative warmth of the water soothe the tenderness, the temperature gradually reducing to lukewarm then cooler once Javier was accustomed to it, extinguishing the flames.

Horacio dried them off, dabbing the towel meticulously over Javier until he replaced it with chaste kisses then sweet almond oil, mapping a path across his ass, covering every inch, and taking extra time with the rawest patches of skin. He needed this part of the ritual as much as Javier did. Needed to be the caregiver at both ends of the spectrum and to still be touching Javier because that was what he needed in return.

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They delayed dressing in favour of entangling themselves beneath the bedsheets after rehydrating and sharing a bowl of fresh strawberries bought from their favourite food market the previous day. It wasn’t as though they had anywhere to be, after all.

A solitary cigarette passed between them, the only nicotine-fuelled vice of the day worth having anymore. It was customary for either man to trace patterns through chest hair as he took a drag, their fingers and lips meeting somewhere in the middle, transferring cigarette and smoke in one smooth motion.

Their cigarette was now stubbed out in the ashtray by the bed, swapped for playing with each other’s hands whilst Javier lay tucked into Horacio’s side.

His fingers skimmed over the coarse edges of Horacio’s, sliding to the softness at the centre of his palm, then down to his wrist. Javier lingered until he got what he came for, the slow, steady beat keeping his own rhythm in check after a fraught start to the morning.

From there, Horacio dusted kisses across Javier's knuckles until Javier unfurled his fingers, offering them up for the same treatment, and Horacio gladly obliged.

It could have been minutes or hours they lay like this, lost in touch, neither wanting to break the spell.

But as Horacio’s hand snaked up Javier’s torso, pausing to play with the warmed silver chain, he folded first. “I’m sorry I was late.”

“You don’t need to apologise for being cornered. These things happen.”

“It wasn’t just that, though.” Horacio stroked his thumb over the surface of the cross. For comfort or courage, or both, he wasn’t sure. He explained everything about Álvaro, even down to the disconcerting parallels he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. “He could’ve been me, Javier. He was me. And if it hadn’t been for you – for us – I think he still would be. Either that, or I’d be dead.”

“But he’s not you. You’re not that man anymore. Look how far you’ve come, Horacio. You got out. And you found your inner cowboy.”

Horacio gave Javier a withering look, ignoring the devilish spark in his eyes. “I’m not a fucking cowboy.”

“But that’s what you want, though, right? To be a rancher?”

Horacio had thought long and hard about this, especially when confronted with the ghosts of his old life. Any worries about being lured back in were swiftly abated. If anything, it confirmed what he, deep down, already suspected. “Yeah, I think I do. But only if you still want to move back to Texas.”

“I thought I’d never move back. But after I left Colombia, you seemed so at home. And for once, so did I.” Javier didn’t say the rest out loud because he didn’t need to. His book dedication had done it for him.

“I was,” was all Horacio managed to get out before he kissed Javier, unhurried and thorough.

“It’s not like I’ve got any career plans lined up elsewhere anyway,” Javier added once they pulled apart.

“There’s still time to figure it out.”

A knowing smile passed over Javier’s lips. “That’s what Señora Romero said this morning. After I fucking lost it because you were a few minutes late.” His smile morphed into a self-deprecating scoff, traces of embarrassment still left over despite the kindness he had been shown.

“What?”

Now it was Javier’s turn to open up; for the second time that day. He reclined against Horacio’s chest, the fingers stroking through his hair relaxing his mind and muscles as he talked.

“Fuck, Javier, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no. It’s not your fault. And it’s not your responsibility to fucking babysit me. I was fine after a drink and a pep talk.”

Horacio strained his neck to meet Javier’s eye with an incredulous look.

“Okay, well, after that, then.”

“I didn’t go too far, did I?”

“No. It was perfect,” Javier replied without hesitation, meeting Horacio’s gaze head-on and with ease. A simmering afterglow had overtaken the initial sensitivity, but he was confident he would feel it for the rest of the day, maybe even tomorrow if he was lucky. “Was, er, was it good for you too?”

The luscious whip of his palm was still vivid in Horacio’s mind, along with Javier’s pleas for more and the spiral of his tongue as he fucked and feasted. Not to mention how the tension they had been carrying throughout the morning visibly dissipated in the aftermath.

“I think perfect just about covers it,” he replied, hunting down Javier’s mouth again before they collapsed into each other’s arms.

“Señora Romero’s been through a lot too,” Javier said after a soporific silence almost tempted them towards slumber.

“I know. She never talked about it much. But after the bombing, she mentioned Spain was always carrying old wounds.”

“I guess we all are. So, there are bound to be bad days sometimes.”

Horacio hummed in agreement against Javier’s forehead. “I should’ve been there with you, though.”

“You’re here now.”

Another string of kisses followed, the next more charged than the last. Because now wasn’t just tomorrow, the next day, week, month, or even year. Now was the rest of their lives.

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They could easily have whiled away the rest of the day in bed. But the sun’s heat had broken through the haze of early morning fog by lunchtime, and it was the ideal afternoon for a walk around El Retiro Park.

The park was rarely quiet, but it was vast enough to disperse the crowds into all corners. They started with the gardens and fountains, one, in particular, stopping them in their tracks.

“Well, that’s…striking,” Javier said, cocking his head and taking off his aviators to get a better look at the imposing statue in front of them.

“La Fuente del Ángel Caído. The Fountain of the Fallen Angel. It’s the moment Lucifer was cast out of heaven.”

Javier turned to Horacio with a raised brow. “So, are you an expert in all artistic impressions of the devil, or just this one?”

Horacio feigned an irked glare. “I used to run this way sometimes with it being so close to the Consulate.”

“Oh, well, that’s a relief.”

It was the truth, but at that time of Horacio’s life, there was a strange and dark affinity to be found with the story of a fallen angel in exile. Occasionally, he would stop to study the fountain in all its horrifying glory, a visceral reminder of why he was here.

They quickly moved on to the Palacio de Cristal, the weather optimal for the impressive architecture above them. Sunbeams descended a halo down from the glass roof, a hush spreading through the crowd as they craned their necks in awe. It gave the building the peaceful atmosphere of a church, but it was a world away from the harsh wooden pew Horacio had prayed in every week.

Without meaning to, his hand brushed against Javier’s as they stood side-by-side, barely a hair’s breadth between them, and too subtle to be noticed by anyone around them.

Javier didn’t flinch, didn’t even look in Horacio’s direction, yet for the briefest of moments, their fingers connected in a way that could have been passed off as accidental if necessary. But of course, they knew there was nothing accidental about them whatsoever.

They came to the lake next, sitting on steps that led up to a grand monument by the water. On the base of it lay a statue of King Alfonso XII with three smaller ones beneath representing peace, freedom and progress, a stark contrast to the Fallen Angel.

“I never found the time to come down here before, but it’s a beautiful spot,” Horacio said, wishing he was wearing his Stetson now he was having to squint in the sun.

“Yeah, it is.”

Somewhere between arriving at the lake and finding a free spot, Javier exchanged conversation for staring out across the water.

Whilst watching the hire boats glide backwards and forwards, out of nowhere, he was reminded of the river back home. The traffickers made it look as easy as a leisure pastime. Like they never got the memo about the turbulent currents that required navigating life as the Rio Grande did, flowing in limbo and helplessly watching the gulf between each side widen like a splitting wound.

Javier vaguely remembered hearing stories from his Abuelas and Abuelos about their journeys across the border. But it wasn’t a subject he and Chucho talked about much. Officially, that was due to Chucho being so young at the time, but unofficially, Javier wasn’t stupid. He knew of the bleak dangers and challenges involved with moving to el otro lado, as he often heard the other side called, more so now than back then, and he always suspected there were stories his Pops would rather keep to himself.

“Hey, you still in there?”

Horacio’s voice brought Javier back down to earth. “Yeah. Sorry.”

It was typical of him to be sitting here ignoring Horacio and the scenery in favour of daydreaming about the very place they came here to take a break from. Their late morning interlude had apparently taken it out of him, and he was already reverting to losing himself in thought rather than focusing on the present.

But as Javier went through the day’s events, his attention still on the lake, an idea came to him. He could sense he was being watched as a playful smirk took hold. “Fancy a ride?”

It didn’t take long for Horacio’s mind to wander, despite the fact he could plainly see what Javier was referring to. Always the tease, which he’d no doubt pay for later. “Only if you take it in turns with the rowing.”

“Deal.”

Soon after, they set off from the jetty in a pale blue and white rowing boat. Horacio took the oar first, the reason already paying dividends as he watched Javier trying but failing not to fixate on Horacio’s arms.

“Nice view out here,” Horacio deadpanned.

Javier cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, triggering a welcomed reminder from a matter of hours ago and handing victory straight to Horacio. “You could say that.”

That was all Horacio had wanted in the way of revenge because two could play at that game.

They rowed in comfortable silence, taking in their picturesque surroundings and the fact it was easy to be around others yet still be alone here. From a quick glance at other boating parties, there was a diverse mix of groups and couples, and no one appeared remotely interested in them for a change. It was an antidote to the heavy conversations and emotions from earlier, even if that had been a necessary step for them to take.

“Do you think this still counts as a bad day?” Javier asked now that Horacio had taken a break from rowing, letting them slowly drift in the deserted end of the lake.

“A bad start, maybe. But I think we might’ve just about salvaged it.”

“Me too.”

Their eyes met across the boat, the afternoon light casting them in a golden hue. Their feet were the only part of them touching, both a frustration and a catalyst. But they knew that would be rectified once in the privacy of their apartment.

“We better be getting back,” Horacio said with reluctance. “Especially as it’s your turn to row.”

That earned him a “Fuck you” and a splash of water in his general direction.

But Javier accepted the oar, and set a course back to the jetty, Señora Romero’s words still echoing in his ears.

Because she was right; they couldn’t always be in the same boat. It was unrealistic to expect otherwise. But they could work hard to be as much as possible. They could take turns to bear the load, be the other’s anchor and cherish the times they succeeded. And today was proof of that.

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In the week before Easter, there were celebrations across the city for La Semana Santa. Whilst Javier and Horacio preferred peace and quiet to the processions through the streets, they couldn’t say no to Señora Romero’s invitation to a festive meal.

As it turned out, they were also roped into helping with food preparations in exchange for an extra pitcher of lemonade and leftovers to fill their freezer up to the brim.

Señora Romero’s family were to visit the next day, so they made multiple batches, and it was all hands on deck. They prepared an array of dishes, including espinacas con garbanzos, empanadas, croquetas de bacalao, bartolillos madrileños, buñuelos de viento, flores fritas, and torrijas, passing along their contributions like a conveyer belt, Señora Romero issuing instructions without even looking up from her work.

“My Mamá would’ve evicted us from the kitchen by now,” Javier said after his first attempts at frying flores fritas resulted in a sea of uneven misshapes floating in the pan of hot oil.

“No such luck today, Javier. Try holding the mould for longer in the oil after each one. The batter won’t stick to it if it’s not hot enough.”

Javier did as he was directed. And lo and behold, Horacio soon was sprinkling sugar and cinnamon over light, crisp, fully-defined flowers.

“And give yourselves some credit,” Señora Romero continued, finishing cutting up her empanada dough and spooning filling into the segments. “Your tamales are delicious. My lot will be lucky if there are any left by tomorrow. You’ll have to tell me your secret.”

Repeating their success from Laredo had been a challenge in their apartment kitchen as it wasn't as well-equipped or organised as Chucho’s. There must have been something about the simple domesticity of the situation that appealed to them – or perhaps memories from the guesthouse – as they found a pleasing way to pass the time whilst their tamale fillings cooked, involving Javier sitting on top of the kitchen unit, legs wrapped around Horacio and their hips grinding together. They didn’t undress, the friction of their jeans enough to have the desired effect.

“Oh, just plenty of practice over the years.” Javier's tone was guileless, although the roguish expression he fixed Horacio with told another story.

The heat rising in Horacio’s cheeks rivalled the pot of oil simmering on the stove, and it was time to rescue the conversation fast. “Erm, yeah, the pork ones are my Abuela Margarita’s recipe. Alejandra and I made them every Christmas. My Papá would watch us like a hawk. He said it was so we didn't burn the house down, but I think he wanted to be first in line for the tamales.”

It seemed stupid in hindsight, but Horacio looked forward to his Papá checking up on them like that because it at least meant he was home and spending time with them rather than with his work. It meant he was proud of Horacio, even if it was in the most trivial of ways.

“My Mamá made them when I was a kid. Pop insisted on the beef being from our best cattle, though, because he always wanted the best for us." The mischief in Javier's eye had been replaced with something more earnest. That had been the one role his Mamá allowed his Pops to undertake when it came to the tamales, and it was a role taken seriously.

“So many of my family’s traditions started in the kitchen. Recipes I use in the café were handed down to me through the generations, ones I’ve made with care and love; over and over again. What better way to remember those no longer around?" Señora Romero broke off to place her tray of egg-washed empanadas into the oven. "And that would certainly explain it too.”

“Explain what?” Horacio asked.

“Your secret,” she replied with a simple smile, as though it was the most obvious statement anyone could ever have made.

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The morning passed in the blink of an eye as they filled the apartment with a tempting blend of aromas, and it was late afternoon when they sat down to enjoy the fruits of their labour.

Plates, bowls, and dishes filled the table, and they tucked into a feast that rivalled one of Chucho’s. Not that Javier dared to ever tell his Pops that.

Once they had eaten as much as their stomachs allowed and chatted over coffee long past sunset, Javier bid Señora Romero goodnight, taking two large Tupperware boxes of leftovers back to their apartment, a haul that would stave off hunger for at least a month or two.

Horacio stayed behind to help Señora Romero clear up the kitchen. He was the designated washer whilst she dried, on account of knowing where to put each item back in its rightful place.

Once all the cutlery, cups, and plates were washed, Horacio refilled the sink, a comfortable lull in conversation settling over them.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” Señora Romero asked after she delivered a second load of dishes to be washed. “When I asked if there was someone back home.”

Horacio switched the tap off now the sink was full, concentrating intently on swirling soap suds and a cloth around the serving bowl he had plunged under water. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, dear. You didn’t owe me an explanation then, and you don’t owe me one now. I understand when the newspapers have been no better than the days of Franco. And mark my words; those were dark, dark days.”

A righteous anger erupted from the surface in Señora Romero’s tone. It was one that Horacio had rarely heard but recognised and understood instantly.

“Spain’s old wounds,” he stated rather than asked.

“On good days, I like to think of it more as scar tissue.”

“Makes sense.”

“We used to hide people whenever there were raids. Sometimes you’d know why they were hiding. Other times, you didn’t ask; you just did it. Anything to keep them from harm. So, please know that you and Javier will always be safe here.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“How was it living in Texas?”

“There was gossip, a few looks and comments, as you can imagine. But Chucho, Javier’s father, was like – he treated me like family.”

“Sounds like we’d get along. And what about your family?”

“I, er, haven’t told them. Alejandra knows I’m here but not why or who I’m with. I never told her or my Mamá about Laredo either. So, I know I owe them the truth.”

“It’s your truth, and you decide if or when you share it with anyone else, Horacio. I can’t pretend to know your family, but if my child or brother had been through everything you have, I’d count my blessings he was alive and well. And happy.”

A palm landed on Horacio’s soapy hand resting at the edge of the sink, the last few dishes now cleared. He had no words to offer beyond thank you, even if that felt wholly inadequate.

He wished her goodnight, returning home to join Javier in bed, both wiped out after a busy day of good company and far too much food.

Horacio slotted himself in front of Javier, back to chest. Slow, deep exhales and groggy mumbles passed between them as Javier instinctively scooped Horacio closer to him, an acknowledgement of each other’s presence without the expectation of conversation.

Javier soon fell back to sleep, leaving Horacio caught somewhere in the middle as snapshots that could have been dreams or memories – or both – played like an old slideshow in his head.

In one, he and Alejandra were kids again, flicking water from the kitchen sink and squealing with delight. He couldn’t see them, but he knew their parents were in the next room as faint traces of their voices travelled through the house.

In another, Horacio was his current age, standing at the sink in what he remembered of Alejandra’s kitchen in Manizales. Every surface was piled high with dishes waiting to be washed and dried. A flash of movement in the corner of his eye revealed his Papá walking briskly across the room, his police uniform a vivid green even though the outline of his form was incorporeal.

Horacio followed and called after him as they made their way through the house, but there was no response. He looped back to where he started, his father now gone as he stood by the sink with hands submerged in hot, soapy water. He noticed the dishes stacked on the drainer were somehow clean, so pulled the plug, water whirlpooling down the drain until all that was left was suds…and a glint of gold. He reached through the bubbles until he was grasping his father’s necklace.

That was enough to pull him fully awake, the spasm in his limbs causing a chain reaction as Javier roused too.

“You okay?”

“Hmm, yeah, I think I was dreaming. I’m fine, though.” Horacio shuffled them around the other way, placing a reassuring kiss at the nape of Javier’s neck. “Go back to sleep.”

It was likely an exchange neither would remember in the morning. But as they settled down again, and Javier placed their hands over the crucifix at his sternum, Horacio swore he could feel an invisible weight around his own neck.

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The transition between spring and summer in Madrid was abrupt if you weren’t used to it. But one advantage to August was most Madrileños escaped to the coast or mountains for respite from the heat. It left the city emptier than usual, which was more than fine by Javier and Horacio.

It was a strange contradiction for them to seek refuge in a city as lively as Madrid when they preferred the tranquillity of ranch life these days, but city living brought anonymity. Las Posadas was like being under the microscope, whereas no one bothered them here.

Prime shaded spots in the park or the outdoor seating at cafés and restaurants were plentiful. And there were no problems hiring a boat at El Retiro Park before the hottest part of the day kicked in. Then they would hide out in their apartment during siesta hours.

It was doubtful if many people actually slept during siesta these days. But it did mean some shops closed for a few hours, and a general hush would fall over the city.

Sometimes, they would watch T.V. and old films or listen to the radio. Occasionally, Horacio would read aloud to Javier like last Christmas, the significance of Lorca’s words being spoken in their shared apartment, in this country not lost on them. On reflective days, it was rare but not unheard of for hands to connect, their cross clasped between their palms and their minds quiet.

There were also regular phone calls to Laredo, Miami and Medellín. It was funny; in the months they had been in Madrid, Javier had spoken more with his Pop than his entire time in Colombia. His Mamá was often a topic of conversation, Javier making sure to tell his Pops he’d been reading her book here as instructed.

“She always had her head in a book. And she always dreamed of travelling. She was like you when she was younger; she had her heart set on leaving Laredo. Even though your grandparents did everything they could to keep them here. But maybe that was why she wanted to spread her wings; I don’t know.”

“What changed her mind?”

“She met me.”

“Oh, well, good to know ruining lives is a Peña family trait.”

“Think of it as a gift, Mijo. I can’t take all the credit, though. She built herself a good community here. And then, she got involved with the farmers’ unions before she was ill. I think she was just getting started.”

They moved on to how Abuelito Mauricio never intended to settle permanently in Texas. He had left Abuelita Imelda and their brood – Chucho being the eldest – back in a rural town in Guanajuato, and he would send his wages home to them each month. Once the then-small plot of land he scrimped and saved to purchase grew, and made a profit, the rest of the family followed.

“What did Abuela Rosa and Abuelo Guillermo do again?”

“Your Abuelo ran a grocery store downtown, and your Abuela was a seamstress. She did more than that, though, especially in the ‘30s, when they nearly lost the store. Some of their extended family were repatriated back to Michoacán. And many of their customers left for Mexico too. So, they had no staff, and takings were down. Your Abuela managed every cent and dollar of their finances. She’d mend clothes for a small fee or in exchange for food to make sure they never went without.”

“Sounds hard.”

“It was. The ranch struggled too. There weren’t many workers left, and most people couldn’t afford a lot of meat. But we were luckier than most. Some never came back, and even those who did were strangers on one side of the border and a threat on the other. Things got ugly for a while.”

“What happened to the ones who came back?”

“They had to start from scratch again. Local charities were set up to help with travel costs, finding somewhere to live, reuniting separated families, that sort of thing. Your grandparents did what they could to help. It was your Abuelita’s idea to build the guesthouses. Your Abuelito took on labourers struggling to find work for the construction. Then they hosted a few families until they got back on their feet. I think that's why your mother wanted to keep them over the years – because someone always needs them.”

It wasn’t the first time Javier had been told about his family history, but it might have been the first time he asked. And it was strange how differently the same pieces of information could be interpreted depending on the stage of life in which they were shared. In his youth, it was hard to see the drawbacks of leaving Laredo. Because anywhere else had to be better.

But now, all he could think was how much of a throw of the dice it was. Too many families weren’t as lucky as his parents; they never got the option of crossing back over the bridge or pursuing the illusive American Dream. And if fate had decided otherwise, Javier could have grown up on the bank of the Río Bravo rather than the Rio Grande.

Chucho would also discuss ranch business with Horacio, updating him on staff changes, how the newborn calves were thriving, and the latest local gossip.

“Ciro’s thinking of selling up,” he informed Horacio one afternoon.

“Hasn’t he threatened that before?”

“Oh, plenty of times when his back plays up. Or when the weather’s on the turn. But Malena’s health isn’t so good now. And like me, Ciro’s not getting any younger. He was talking about moving closer to their daughter in San Antonio.”

Ciro and Malena Ortega owned the corn farm next door and had been there long since before Javier was born. They had always shared a close professional and personal relationship with the Peñas by selling them feed grain for the livestock and helping in any way possible during and after Mariana’s illness.

“Have they found a buyer? Or are we going to need a new supplier?”

“Not sure yet, to be honest, Mijo. I’ll keep you posted.”

They rounded off their catch-up with the latest on Luna’s, Sol’s and Leo’s adventures. But when Horacio discovered that Luna still waited outside the guesthouse door from time to time, he almost booked himself on the next flight to Laredo.

He had also managed to catch up with Trujillo a couple of times. But it was hard pinning down a busy Major tasked with clearing up whatever dregs were left of the Medellín cartel. After Steve opened his big mouth about Trujillo’s girlfriend, Horacio had half a suspicion he was being avoided deliberately.

In Miami, Connie was back in the E.R. part-time now Olivia was old enough for day-care. A promotion and countless commendations had been thrown Steve’s way since the New Year. If anyone suspected he was the source of the Cali intel – and both Javier and Steve knew someone would – they didn’t let on, apparently too busy getting off on the reflected glory of the Escobar circus.

“There’s a rumour we’re gonna be offered a fuckin’ book deal,” Steve said with a bemused snigger during one of their phone calls.

“A rumour from who?”

“My boss. My boss’ boss. Probably my boss’ boss’ boss. How about it, Javi? Fancy being an author now you’re unemployed? We could make a fortune.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” was Javier’s only response to that suggestion.

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Regardless of what they did during siesta hours, one thing often led to another. They were hot and sweaty anyway, might as well fully commit or continue in the shower if the heat got too much.

Even though they didn’t have jobs to get back to, it was an indulgence to set aside time in the middle of the day for sex. It couldn’t have been further from their previous lives. But here, they could drag it out as long as they liked, teasing and edging each other, keeping their bodies still for as long as possible. It was as relaxing as it was arousing, intimate as much as it was erotic, and an apt way to spend downtime gifted to them by the city that once kept them apart.

This time, they had been reading on the bed before becoming distracted by lying mouth to cock in exquisite symmetry across the mattress. It was all bobbing heads and bucking hips swallowed down with muffled purrs of pleasure until they were satiated.

Fresh out of the shower, Horacio lay back on his pillow with a towel around his waist. From this angle, the mirrored wardrobe door reflected the image of Javier in the same attire as he shaved over the bathroom sink. There was still something sacred about witnessing the day-to-day rituals like this, and it was impossible to take them for granted.

“Did you always know?” Horacio asked once Javier re-joined him.

A vague question on the face of it, but Javier had already seen his copy of Giovanni’s Room on Horacio’s nightstand with a bookmark slotted in the centre of it.

“Not always. But there was this new ranch hand when I was about 10 or 11. He must’ve been 23, 24. I never spoke to him, just watched him work. I thought I wanted to be like him – I think everyone thought I’d follow in Pops’ footsteps back then. But, er, one summer, I walked in on him changing his shirt in the stables and,” Javier broke off with a boyish grin, “that was that.”

“So, that’s why you have a thing for cowboys.”

“Just the one cowboy these days, actually.” Javier shifted to face Horacio, fingers dipping beneath his towel seam until he squirmed. “Nothing ever happened with him; I was just a kid. I tried to ignore it, went to church, chased girls. And obviously, I couldn’t tell anyone. But it was always there in the background. Like some sort of...fucking unscratched itch. Then at high school, I met Antonio.”

Javier hadn’t said his name out loud in decades, but it stung more than expected. Antonio was Javier’s first…not quite everything, but it felt like it at the time. For almost two years, they were inseparable. They shared similar heritage and backgrounds, although Antonio’s family were crop farmers rather than ranchers. Not that it mattered when they had twice as much land to explore in the holidays or when Javier needed to escape the deafening quiet of the farmhouse now that it was just him and Pops. Or when they hid in the cab of one of Antonio’s father’s harvesters, passing a bottle of Chucho’s whiskey between them until they were drunk enough to take the plunge.

The following months were a whirlwind of exhilaration, fear, discovery and shame. Like the door had been unlocked on something that had never been a possibility until it was. However, they knew it couldn’t last. It had been a close enough call on the afternoon that Chucho came home earlier than expected. But the beginning of the end came when, without warning, Antonio’s family sold their farm and moved back to Mexico. Javier never did find out why, but once the place was up for sale, Antonio was no longer allowed to visit the ranch. And the only time they saw each other, and the only place they could say goodbye, was at school.

It was clear to Horacio that Javier wasn’t going to elaborate further. And if he wasn’t telling, Horacio certainly wasn’t asking. “I was in my first year at the Academy.”

“You about to make me jealous with stories of all the men in uniform you had your way with?”

“If you must know, there was just one…Andrés.”

Horacio hadn’t thought about him in a long time, a ghost from the past he preferred to keep there. He and Andrés were assigned to the same training barracks when they were cadets. There were supposed to be another two trainees sharing their bunkroom, but one withdrew his place at the Academy at the last minute; the other was a no-show at the first induction meeting and was automatically excluded.

Without the camaraderie of other cadets in their sleeping quarters, they had no choice but to rely on the other for company, which was no easy feat at the beginning when neither was particularly talkative. Bit by bit, they bonded over their work, discovering they both had fathers further up the ranks. It was often a bone of contention for other cadets, but that was never a problem between them.

There were subtle signs, lingering looks, and shared smokes even before they started gravitating towards each other in the shower blocks. Whilst there was an unspoken eyes-down rule that wasn’t worth a man’s life to break, when they were the last ones left under the spray, gradually, glance by glance, it was broken until their eyes locked, breathing hard, fists clenched by their sides. Nothing happened there and then, but it was a different story later that night behind the safety of a closed door and beneath starched sheets.

They never talked about it, couldn’t even if they’d wanted to, which they didn’t because there was nothing to acknowledge in the first place. Yet it happened again and a few more times after that, always under the cover of darkness, apart from one reckless time in the shower block when they didn’t have the discipline to wait, the thrill of it heightened and tempered by the possibility of being caught in the act.

But then, one morning, Horacio woke to find Andrés’ bed made and his belongings gone. He had requested and been granted a transfer to his father’s regiment without telling anyone. A perk of being a General’s son, Horacio supposed. He never heard from Andrés again.

“Even after him, I brushed it off as…circumstantial. An occupational hazard.” Disbelief caught in Horacio’s throat at the blatant denial in that sentiment, but it wasn’t like he knew better. Not when dread and nausea washed away any unnameable fleeting feelings that may have surfaced in his pre-Academy days. “Women were the only option, so I buried myself in work and tried to forget.”

“Before ‘81, right?”

“Yeah. So, maybe a blessing in disguise.”

“No maybe about it.” Javier’s sight line suddenly landed on the ceiling, even though he was the one who went there first.

This wasn’t a subject they liked to talk about, but there was no escaping the way the last decade and more had played out, even when they were neck-deep in the world of cartels and cocaine. Maybe now the dust had settled, and their minds weren’t so full of work, they were finally able to come to terms with all of it. Maybe now they could see so much of their pasts had been born out of fear.

“I still got tested when I was with Juliana, though. And with you.”

“I was the same after Lorraine. And definitely when I was in Colombia.” Javier couldn’t help but laugh, even though it wasn’t funny to think of those days anymore. Not because he was ashamed of sex, but he couldn’t deny it had been a sticking plaster at times. In his defence, despite the stance of the Catholic Church, he used condoms. Until Horacio, that was. “I never would’ve let you…if I hadn’t been sure.”

“Me neither.”

Horacio rolled on his side until they were face-to-face, his hand cupping Javier’s cheek, gently coaxing his gaze back to him.

Their lips met, both fully aware they had survived two war zones when the odds were stacked against them. When too many men like them hadn’t been so lucky. They had seen the headlines, the ostracization, the mishandling, and those in power looking the other way. But they were still here, alive and well. Surer of themselves and each other than ever before.

------------------------------------------------------

Javier sat down at the kitchen table, bleary-eyed and reaching straight for the pot of coffee left waiting for him, the rich scent alone beginning to stir him awake. As much as he preferred staying in bed wrapped around Horacio, that wasn’t the most comfortable option at this time of year. At least there was still shade to be found outside at this hour, and Horacio was to bring back a breakfast of hot, fresh churros from Café Romero on the route home from his run. So, Javier could hardly complain.

He was several sips into his coffee when a key turned in the lock.

Horacio came through to the kitchen carrying the churros and what appeared to be a newspaper with a small envelope perched on top of it.

“Perfect timing, I’m starving,” Javier declared as he grabbed the bag and divided the churros across two plates.

Horacio murmured a vague “Me too” in reply. But his attention was focused on the envelope, which was addressed to him in familiar handwriting.

He tore the edge of it carefully and pulled out a card, a proud smile spreading across his lips after just a couple of seconds.

“What’s that?” Javier asked as he dusted excess sugar off his fingers.

Horacio handed the card over without elaborating.

Javier read it and soon had a smile to match Horacio’s. “I take it we’re going, then?”

“Of course we are.” He joined Javier at the table, his stomach swooping like he had missed a step on the stairs. “But I think I need to make a phone call first.”

[journalsouppe]

This is a repost with better images (and the original was posted to my main blog not here)

Uncensored version and close ups below!!

Also apologies for the small and crazy writing, I went insane playing this game and had a lot to say about it LMAO

Stickers are from NoodlesandTeaShop on etsy!!

Rating: 10/10 Played: Su 2022 Port: N. Switch Favorite? Y Replayable: Y Recommended? Y

Comments

my first ace attorney game!!

omg the little anime scenes are so cool

The twist endings/court conclusions are so well made

oh my god I'm in love with Kazuma <3 his theme T-T

each character has such a distinct personality esp from just their animation

I love the [sholmes/iris/ryuu] forhead thing

yeah I'm also in love with Ryuu T-T

the logic and reasoning spectaculars are my favorite thing they're so fun and stupid

Sholmes and Iris are the cutest dad and daughter duo

FIREWORKS? IN THE COURTROOM??

I am so stressed about the Hounds of the Baskerville case O_o

British Ryuu jumpscare

CHUUNOSUKE ON RYUU'S SHOULDER T-T

I like Gina's new job and personality

Ayy Gregsy is back

ohh the great departed soul is both Susato and Kazuma omg

AMNESIA? T^T

Ryuu is scared of everything and I adore it [me too Ryuu]

PLAGUE DOCTOR WANTS TO CUT ME UP??

The wax museum is horrifying wtf

case 8 [2-3] is an all time favorite

HOLY FUCK

[Phonograph sticker] looks just like Barok's

Love goofy Herlock clothes

Case 2-4 specific comments

THE PARALLELS ARE CRAZY

give me your damn sword Kazuma you don't need two of them

KAZUMA'S NEW THEME????

KAZUIMA'S FATHER?

DEAD?

I love how confident, sure, and determined Ryuu is now

bullying Ryu to pay the vendors T-T

is this a fake trial??

Beppo!!!

STOP FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRIAL

Was the will the note sent to Kazuma?

Finishing each others sentences

love [prison warders and a prosecutor, reborn] 10/10 music

Case 2-5 specific comments

FUCK NOT STRONGHART

Kazuma [eye roll]

JIGOKU???

The girls are FIGHTING [kazuma and barok]

IM MIKOTOBA OMG OMG INVESTIGATION

Elementary my dear Mikotoba T^T

TAP DANCING

Was the sword broken from Genshin? NVM LOL [im dumb]

Gregson in the luggage is so fucked

They're all family T-T brother Ryuu

Kazuma's theme is both intimidating but assuring

HOLOGRAM??

THE DANCE????

Iris Van Zieks... IRIS SHOLMES

THE CREDITS, I'm not okay

Game Dev notes

Masterfully done music, esp reinvented themes for change

incredible animations, gives each character so much personality

great story telling - best visual novel for length, story, interest, etc

chronicles has its own achievements - encourages replayability

great pacing and saving - east to pick up and set down

amazing foreshadowing - whole series planned together

incredible balance of comedy and tragedy

takes preexisting stories and tropes and masterfully retells them

Summary:

I'm afraid I won't have enough room to describe how much I love this game. I don't even know where to start :'). This game is a masterpiece of masterpieces. Easily comparable to FMAB in terms of incredible storytelling, foreshadowing, mystery, tragedy, comedy, score, design, you name it. I have never genuinely been so shocked by the surprises in this game, but they were all so well made and fit in the story seamlessly. The tragedy and comedy, the two most important aspects of a story to me, were not only very well balanced, but were used as expert emotional devices throughout the game. The character design is incredible. Small details such as Ryuu's arm brace or Enoch's mechanisms or Iris's dolls add such character and personality even if some of these details aren't plot relevant. Each character has a unique body type, face shape, facial features, etc that it is easy to identify each character without their hair or clothes. The deigns are also so brilliant that it even taught me how to not only draw older people and children, but to be able to distinguish between teenagers and 20-30 year olds in my art (instead of all looking the same age). The animations are beautiful and so ridiculous. I always looked forward to interacting with Herlock and the witnesses. These games also have one of my favorite scores, especially the way they are able to turn established themes on their heads. The music does an amazing job at establishing setting, character, tension, emotion, you name it. Now for the story telling. Holy fucking shit. Holy shit. You don't even realize how important every small is until it hits you in the face. This is a story that will rival my 1st place spot of FMAB [in terms of all media]. It is so beautifully designed and thought over that I can only say the writers at Capcom are true geniuses to make this story. It doesn't hold back any punches but also comforts you. It toys with your emotions and is smth almost evil, but it also gives you hope and confidence and lifts you up so that you can scream to the world. The key to this is Ryuu. He's no avatar like Link but you and him share a strong bond through shared experience. It was an ingenious move to have the first story be Ryuu accused of murder, you learn the hardest way possible how to become a defense attorney of true integrity. His relations to others is this game is incredible too. The betrayal, the longing, the tenderness. Him and Susato have an incredible "sibling" bond to where I truly felt anxious without her. Not to mention Kazuma. A human through and through. Once thought to be the righteous angel, he had later fallen from heaven just to learn the truth of who he and his father really are. Even as the game has ended, I still sit and contemplate on these characters. Although it was the right decision for Kazuma to stay, I am still in pain from their separation. I really wish I could say more but it's also hard to put into words all my feelings with so little space. If I could forget this game just to experience it again, I would. An outstanding work of art. I highly recommend. My new favorite game.

[inusmasha]

Just rambling about InuKag dynamics I don't see ppl talk about.

this is 'long post' disclaimer .

Its a ghostly day today, and I have it all to myself. So while defrosting this english muffin I started musing about what sort of dynamics I like most in fiction. Like not just romantic wise. I wanted to figure out what was.. the tension? I enjoyed most... between what two archetypes?

And I what I noticed is that I love a good Mentor/Mentee dynamic. It's something that's been pretttyyyy consistent since childhood. (I can't name any atm to help my argument but you feel compelled to keep reading)

However, I didn't see how this would fit InuKag? My Titanic? My ship of dreams? My childhood? InuKag sometimes stands out like a sore thumb compared to my other interests. I was going to chalk it up to "Well it's baby's first anime so.." UNTIL..

I realized the fandom tends to focus on how Kagome helped Inuyasha (recover his lost heart, humanity, the unconditional selfless love, understanding ect.) but like.. we don't really talk about what he provides for her as much? And I'd love to indulge you with my take but we'd have to go over why I think Kagome decided to leave the modern world and opt for a life in wilderness of the Feudal Era.

Yes, yes. A big part is Inuyasha. That is a huge driving factor. But Im saying step back and see what's happening in the grand scheme of things.

I think..for Kagome..her romance with Inuyasha acted as a portal to a type of freedom she didn't know she craved. He acts as a guide of sort. He gives her access and safe passage to explore this dangerous world fully without fear. It reminds me of when I was with my first bf and I was over the moon happy when I realized I could walk around at night with him. It was THRILLING to my sheltered teen ass. It was like I was holding the key to the VIP room. I was allowed backstage. He was a door that opened me up to new experiences that would not of been available to me at that time otherwise!

And then the benefit of being immersed in nature. With your lover. Who is a figure that exists outside of the society that was keeping you locked up in the first place. Kagome's name is also referencing 'a bird in a cage'.

Like?

Kagome also serves as a guide for Inuyasha. She brings him back from the liminal space of the forest to the village/community/connection. Again opening him up to the possibility of trusting others and forming bonds and setting down roots in the village.

Kagome also represents us the Audience. She is our perspective. She is "The Ordinary Teenage Girl". She's pulled into the well like we are being pulled into the narrative. She grapples with her identity. Her purpose. Her abilities. She's lip singing to Kelly Clarkson with her hairbrush in front of the mirror. She's trying to get to school but...OOP...You know what? I'm 16. I'm suddenly in a fairy tale. The faries spirited me away and I can't take the test right now. The magical jewel was in my hip you see. I'll think about high school entrance exams later when I'm done shooting my sparkly arrows.

You can't sit there and tell me that you didn't long to escape the druggery that came after graduating lol? The what so I do now? The who am I ? And where do I belong? What major do I want? I have to buy a house now? No? I have to fix my credit score-

No babe. You're going to hitch a ride on your bf's back with ya hair down and eat fruit by a waterfall. He's going to ask you wtf a test is to the sound of a million birds chirping in the morning. Then you're going to go back to your loving village that welcomes you home and calls you a hero.

It makes sense that she stayed. It makes sense. You just gotta... see the vision.. you gotta FEEEEL the escapism.

Anyway yeah lol. Not really a mentor to each other per say but their meeting was a catalysis for a lot of growth and learning and trials and tribulations that changed them for the better. And it just feels similar.

[martyrbat]

every few days i see hockey(?) liveblogs from you (I enjoy the enthusiasm even if i have no idea whats going on). What are the main teams you're following? is it just hockey?

this is so sweet, thank you for the support even if youre a little lost! it is just hockey! but i got plans to get into baseball when it starts in february (go pirates and cubs!) but a little too wordy vomit under the cut about my teams :)

my top team is pittsburgh penguins. for better or worse (and usually worse)—i will be there for every game and saying we're so back after one score when we're down by 5. i will defend them until my last breath, theyre the team ill always put on when having to choose between which ones are currently on. its not a hockey team, its sidney crosby building an ice family with his 5 and counting partners and being known for his banana bread and kind heart and fat ass while literally being the inspiration for over half the players in the nhl because hes been wonderful since he was a rookie. its 18 years of love and friendship despite the odds and how theyre so open in loving and supporting their teammates while hockey culture is filled with toxic masculinity. its the narrative loving and hating us, its sidney being gods most loveable and tortured lamb, its geno whos hilarious and dramatic with a heart of gold, its tanger and his greasy hair, its the babygirlifying grown men AND rooting for the old underdog who are in the 4th spot for the playoffs in their metro area despite our powerplay being a joke and our star players ages (late thirties isnt old by any account but for a high energy physical contact sport?? average retirement is 25-30 instead while 13 of our guys is 30+ and playing some of their best hockey)

after that i really like the leafs despite them being the leafs! theyre a blast to watch (sometimes) and theyre a big third period game, for better or worse. so its always exciting (sometimes unfortunately)! auston matthews is my top favorite from them, hes absolutely remarkable and doesnt get the credit and appreciation he deserves. but i also love the other players, mo, willy, and mitch all especially have a place in my heart :) third fav tosses around with who i can catch a game from most to be honest since a lot of times they overlap too much. im fond of the wild because their goaltender (flower!) was ours for forever. kraken is a blast and has lots of old penguin players too. avalanche is fun to root for when ive seen some games :) im less familiar with all of them but hockey is a fun sport to just throw yourself into and learn as you go so its never been an issue!!

teams i hate is anyone who won against my special guys in the last month tbh HFIFJ but i REALLY hate the chicago team, flyers, and vegas knights. chicago is.... a lot of bad shit off ice and has so many controversies—from their name and jerseys to players being abusive and cover-ups of sexual assault from coaches. just hate them and anytime i see those jerseys and remember theyre allowed while flower was threatened with a lawsuit if he wore his helmet (was designed specially by an indigenous artist to honor flower's indigenous wife and their kids during native american heritage month).... god i just get too pissed, theyre number one for who i despise. flyers are the biggest rivals to the penguins so it makes more sense (but also fuck the capitals and canes for personal grievances. also still mad at the canucks) vegas golden knights just annoys me so much with how theyre still calling themselves the misfits and i associate them with flower leaving so!!!

sorry for the little. word vomit lol but !!! if you ever want to get into hockey, please dm me! im no expert by any means and i know me throwing names out there is intimidating but i promise its fun once you get into it and you dont need to know much to just start watching! for me its great to have something to look forward to every week and watch something happen as it actually happens and liveblog—it kinda feels more like a loose community experience that i never got because of my health issues and disability! its also just fun to be dramatic (screaming its so over when scored on /celebrating a goal) over something thats kinda... not that important. (important for the players and fans ofc but it doesn't change anything in MY daily life outside of how i feel which is refreshing!) sports in general kinda encourage those big emotional responses and it can be great catharsis and silly if you let it be :) and the fan community here can be so welcoming if you just fully ignore twitter and the straight white angry men on it <3

come look at gifs of people calling a 36 year old babygirl and the excitement of a goal celly. come watch funny videos and clips and at how *our* captain wore tiny little shorts and a white shirt to get dunked in a water tank for charity. come and slowly learn how much shit the players put up with as rookies and have the happiness of hindsight at what happiness their futures would hold and why me saying 18 years of love and friendship despite the odds is so big because thats genuinely so rare (only 127 retired players in all of nhl history has accomplished this). come get emotional at poetry over getty images hockey pictures and relish in the delight that is finding art everywhere you go. come see people say that sidney needs to get knotted up and mpreg debates in who will abort that thang or not. take my hand and become a hockey fan, i prommy its not scary—not even during the 'who the fuck is this' stage <33

[pumpkinsouppe]

Uncensored version and close ups below!!

Also apologies for the small and crazy writing, I went insane playing this game and had a lot to say about it LMAO

The way I has to paste in a sticky note to write more anjfdnsojfndsjnfodjs

Stickers are by NoodlesAndTeaShop on Etsy!!

This is the only game I’ve given a 10/10, I seriously love this game so much and this spread is my favorite thing ever

And if you’re curious how I set up the spread here it is!

Writing typed below!

Rating: 10/10 Played: Su 2022 Port: N. Switch Favorite? Y Replayable: Y Recommended? Y

Comments

my first ace attorney game!!

omg the little anime scenes are so cool

The twist endings/court conclusions are so well made

oh my god I'm in love with Kazuma <3 his theme T-T

each character has such a distinct personality esp from just their animation

I love the [sholmes/iris/ryuu] forhead thing

yeah I'm also in love with Ryuu T-T

the logic and reasoning spectaculars are my favorite thing they're so fun and stupid

Sholmes and Iris are the cutest dad and daughter duo

FIREWORKS? IN THE COURTROOM??

I am so stressed about the Hounds of the Baskerville case O_o

British Ryuu jumpscare

CHUUNOSUKE ON RYUU'S SHOULDER T-T

I like Gina's new job and personality

Ayy Gregsy is back

ohh the great departed soul is both Susato and Kazuma omg

AMNESIA? T^T

Ryuu is scared of everything and I adore it [me too Ryuu]

PLAGUE DOCTOR WANTS TO CUT ME UP??

The wax museum is horrifying wtf

case 8 [2-3] is an all time favorite

HOLY FUCK

[Phonograph sticker] looks just like Barok's

Love goofy Herlock clothes

Case 2-4 specific comments

THE PARALLELS ARE CRAZY

give me your damn sword Kazuma you don't need two of them

KAZUMA'S NEW THEME????

KAZUIMA'S FATHER?

DEAD?

I love how confident, sure, and determined Ryuu is now

bullying Ryu to pay the vendors T-T

is this a fake trial??

Beppo!!!

STOP FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRIAL

Was the will the note sent to Kazuma?

Finishing each others sentences

love [prison warders and a prosecutor, reborn] 10/10 music

Case 2-5 specific comments

FUCK NOT STRONGHART

Kazuma [eye roll]

JIGOKU???

The girls are FIGHTING [kazuma and barok]

IM MIKOTOBA OMG OMG INVESTIGATION

Elementary my dear Mikotoba T^T

TAP DANCING

Was the sword broken from Genshin? NVM LOL [im dumb]

Gregson in the luggage is so fucked

They're all family T-T brother Ryuu

Kazuma's theme is both intimidating but assuring

HOLOGRAM??

THE DANCE????

Iris Van Zieks... IRIS SHOLMES

THE CREDITS, I'm not okay

Game Dev notes

Masterfully done music, esp reinvented themes for change

incredible animations, gives each character so much personality

great story telling - best visual novel for length, story, interest, etc

chronicles has its own achievements - encourages replayability

great pacing and saving - east to pick up and set down

amazing foreshadowing - whole series planned together

incredible balance of comedy and tragedy

takes preexisting stories and tropes and masterfully retells them

Summary:

I'm afraid I won't have enough room to describe how much I love this game. I don't even know where to start :'). This game is a masterpiece of masterpieces. Easily comparable to FMAB in terms of incredible storytelling, foreshadowing, mystery, tragedy, comedy, score, design, you name it. I have never genuinely been so shocked by the surprises in this game, but they were all so well made and fit in the story seamlessly. The tragedy and comedy, the two most important aspects of a story to me, were not only very well balanced, but were used as expert emotional devices throughout the game. The character design is incredible. Small details such as Ryuu's arm brace or Enoch's mechanisms or Iris's dolls add such character and personality even if some of these details aren't plot relevant. Each character has a unique body type, face shape, facial features, etc that it is easy to identify each character without their hair or clothes. The deigns are also so brilliant that it even taught me how to not only draw older people and children, but to be able to distinguish between teenagers and 20-30 year olds in my art (instead of all looking the same age). The animations are beautiful and so ridiculous. I always looked forward to interacting with Herlock and the witnesses. These games also have one of my favorite scores, especially the way they are able to turn established themes on their heads. The music does an amazing job at establishing setting, character, tension, emotion, you name it. Now for the story telling. Holy fucking shit. Holy shit. You don't even realize how important every small is until it hits you in the face. This is a story that will rival my 1st place spot of FMAB [in terms of all media]. It is so beautifully designed and thought over that I can only say the writers at Capcom are true geniuses to make this story. It doesn't hold back any punches but also comforts you. It toys with your emotions and is smth almost evil, but it also gives you hope and confidence and lifts you up so that you can scream to the world. The key to this is Ryuu. He's no avatar like Link but you and him share a strong bond through shared experience. It was an ingenious move to have the first story be Ryuu accused of murder, you learn the hardest way possible how to become a defense attorney of true integrity. His relations to others is this game is incredible too. The betrayal, the longing, the tenderness. Him and Susato have an incredible "sibling" bond to where I truly felt anxious without her. Not to mention Kazuma. A human through and through. Once thought to be the righteous angel, he had later fallen from heaven just to learn the truth of who he and his father really are. Even as the game has ended, I still sit and contemplate on these characters. Although it was the right decision for Kazuma to stay, I am still in pain from their separation. I really wish I could say more but it's also hard to put into words all my feelings with so little space. If I could forget this game just to experience it again, I would. An outstanding work of art. I highly recommend. My new favorite game.

[vitaminwaterreviews]

IU - The Winning

Wow. Like, just Wow. The song average is 9.2, which is the highest I’ve ever given by a mile. There are of course some stipulations. The music by itself would be closer to a high 8, but the MV’s were so well done that it would feel wrong to not include them in the scores of the songs. Holssi in particular really wowed me when I first saw it, Love WIns All had the nice disability representation – actually wait, isn’t that a theme here?

Yeah let’s think about that. Shopper didn’t have any marginalized representation that I caught on a first listen. Holssi featured all sorts of ethnicities, black adults and a diverse set of children. Love Wins All was about a disabled couple, and the title itself is an obvious (questionably intentional) lgbt reference. It does make me wonder if the intent was for the original title to be a reference lgbt catchphrase, but they included the word “all” in the lyrics just to be safe, in case of backlash. Clever if true.

That’s all super meta though. In terms of the songs themselves, Shh.. was definitely the standout. I like jazz and I also like songs that Go places and Do things, and Shh.. was all of the above. I stan U was a nice surprise, it was good to have a rock song, we don’t see IU doing rock much. Shopper and Holssi had me worried that every song would be NewJeansy, but thankfully IU doesn’t disappoint. And that’s not to say that those songs were bad, either; they were excellent. But a mini of exclusively that vibe gets particularly boring after a bit (see: Easy).

IU is just so good at the kpop thing. The songs are great, the MV’s are great, the promotion was excellent. Featuring a NewJeans in one of the songs was clever, and it’s like the least NewJeansy song on the album which is funny. Watching the interview definitely helped me appreciate the album more, and I hope she does more promotion in the coming weeks. I also hope we get a Shh.. MV but I won’t get my hopes up, 3 MV’s for a mini is already a lot. This is now my highest-rated album in terms of song average, and I think that’s fair enough. It is a mini, which means it does have an advantage, since minis tend to rate higher for me. And in terms of the songs themselves, this is definitely the best album I’ve ever heard. But this is also not my favorite album, and I’m not sure it’s my favorite mini either. It is, however, very good.

- I’ve been waiting for this! I couldn’t do it yesterday, which means I’m a day late, but oh well. I know Love Wins All and Holssi, and I’m blind to the other three.

Shopper

Narration? That’s something

OMG it’s our girl

She looks totally Taylor Swift with the blonde hair

Echoes

Oh okay this is an interesting vibe

‘Palette’

‘Greed is free’

I did watch the interview, so I do kinda know what this is about

Lol a the old man do be shopping

I have NO idea what this MV is about ngl, but I appreciate the vibe

And now we get credits

9/10

No MV’s for the rest of them, partly since I’ve already seen them, partly to focus on the music

Holssi

I’ve been waiting for this one to come on Spotify

I love IU’s voice in this style, like, kind of lazy, almost talk-singing, but with Range

And now we get breathy IU, mmm

The bass here is So strong

Mild rap section

And that little giggle at the end of the verse

Notice the harmonies in the pre-chorus, they’re not Obvious but they’re pretty

The instrumental bridge is So nice

I just love her so much

I think this would be an 8 if it was just the music, but the MV was really cool, so

9/10

Shh..

Curious to see how she manages to cram 3 other artists into one song

Cute electric piano vibes

Oh okay, some guitar here, really nice

Bass

Well then

God the vibes of this song are So good

The chorus actually feels kind of Kiss of Life

Guitar moment

This is super jazz-coded, the way the solo section is structured

Even that piano riff in the background

Haha and now we get the acoustic guitar with the narration in the foreground

And the Ambience

Is there an MV for this? There must be at some point

10/10, there’s just no way that sound could’ve been any better

Love Wins All

The MV for this is really an allegory for how Cube ruins its artists

It is, of course, a ballad

But it’s not a slow jam. Gotta differentiate the two, because I don’t usually like slow jams, but I do usually like ballads

Love, love, love

She’s just such a good singer

Admittedly, I feel like this experience isn’t as Whole without the MV

Same as Holssi

9/10

I stan U

Kinda interesting when artists use fandom terms, so let’s see how this goes

Pop rock feels in the intro here

Yep here we go

Is she saying “stanning” or “stunning”?

I heard “you’re stunning / i’m stunning, just like you”

But then she says “I’m stanning you” hmmm

Yes omg the second verse

This is Such a vibe though

9/10

[hollywoodsargeant]

i need the full lol rating

excellent start. i’m obsessed with all three of them so this might be a bit pathetic

hello liam lawson … yeah he’s hot. The End. no i also think he is pretty but the two photos i picked are actually like. voice of a guy who is a freak he is so boy here ANYWAYS i was gonna score these guys out of ten but i think i’d end up giving them all a ten and that’s embarrassing. liam is very attractive and i want him you know the screaming meals episode where he manspreads for an hour Yeah. okay. i rate him “no way your hair is naturally that blond”/10. girl/10. wear makeup (again)/10

I LOVEEE OSCAR PIASTRI every day i get worse but like. look at him. i was never going to make it out of this one alive. i’m pretty sure i started saying “he’s perfect” with him because he is Perfect. somehow i both want him carnally and think he’s hot while also wanting to wrap him up and put him in my pocket so respect. 12/10. perfect/10. :)

i feel like. we All know how i feel about logan sargeant. which is to say extremely mentally ill i want. need. want. i need him. Look. okay. i have to give him some kind of heinous credit for singlehandedly redefining my taste in men (all-american guys who fish and are slightly concerning on several levels) and making me learn how to use capcut also i have almost 2,000 pictures of him saved to my phone Oh My God he’s so hot i need to be calm i rate him america/10 “he looks like a guy i went to high school with” can you slide him my number thanks

bonus liam photo just bc my best friend said he looks really gay here

[translucent-at-best]

Scatter-brained...

I be stuck on that water challenge tag like I was stuck on that bussit tag a while ago. I fully get why men be so mesmerized. I really do.

Stepping on an elevator smelling good only to be told how good I smell by the other people on it never gets old. A Black woman told me I smelled "diiiii-viiiiine" yesterday. She wasn't wrong 😌

I'm tired of being so far away from my family and not being able to do anything about it when somebody dies. I'm tired of my family dying. I'm tired of grieving and no one around me knowing and having to keep working and showing up like I'm not. I'm just tired.

The amount of Black men who will exclaim "Protect Black Women" but at the same time pretend they have no earthly idea who we need protection from is wild. Is it all men? No. Is it always men? You know good and gotdamn well. Stop deflecting and start calling your homeboys out.

I've never experimented with a hairstyle and not liked it. It's been relaxed, natural, big chopped, braided, twisted, dyed, curled, and cut. And here I go, being cute as the fuck every single time. The nerve of me.

Somebody I know wrote and self-published a book, which is a huge accomplishment. I finished that book a couple days ago. Still haven't told them. It's... pretty bad. I need to figure out some way to not lie, but also not say that it's good and... I'm struggling. And I'm also mad at the editors (plural) that were paid to make sure it didn't end up looking exactly like it ended up looking. Just plot holes and spelling and grammar errors galore. I shudder to think about what it must've looked like before the edits.

I had two friends over the other day and since I'm still balling on a budget due to this upcoming move, I cooked for us instead of ordering food. Made a big pot of pasta and just knew I'd have leftovers to pack for lunch for a few days. One. I had one day of leftovers. Them niggas had multiple helpings and took food home. I'm glad and flattered that they loved it so much, but shit.

These past few days have been teaching me... I'm a counselor wherever I go. Whether it's my job title or not. it's just who I am. It shows up in my conversations and dealings with people all the time. Not in the sense that I take on an expert role and tell them how they should live their lives, but in the sense that... I'm very good at making others feel comfortable around me. Comfortable to the point of telling me all their business. It's not something I ask for, it's not something I set out to do, but it happens. Often.

Now that I'm a month out from my last retwist and my roots are getting fuzzy, I'm noticing a lot more gray hairs than I remember having. I'm used to seeing a good two or three, but the other day I counted at least 10 of them bitches on one side of my head alone! I'm not mad at it, but it did surprise me.

I'm proud as fuck of my credit score. Saying that out loud feels like bragging, but this is my page, so... 🤷🏾‍♀️ Me and my roommate applied for an apartment we want and the score they came back with for me? Shiiiiiiit I'm out here lol.

Coco Gauff said, "Debt? I don't know her. I didn't go to college so I don't have student bills and my parents never put me in a position to have debt." What an iconic answer. Love that for her lol.

[diorgirl444]

hii flo!<3 can't wait for this omg, i love the marauders era sm xx and your matchups are amazing x 💕🪐

my name is eva rose - eva's fine though lol - & i'm a sagittarius with a virgo moon and an enfp.

i'm 5''3 with auburn curly hair and a petite (i think??) hourglass figure. i have freckles on the tip of my nose and on my cheeks all year 'round, and i have deep blue-green eyes. i'm fair skinned and burn in the summer.

i like to dress alt, with maybe a little cottagecore. my go-to outfits are usually things like baggy jeans and tight crop tops. flowy dresses & leather jackets. i have adhd so i can't really wear certain stuff because of sensory issues.

i would describe myself as observant, fun, genuine, intuitive and witty. i think people's perspectives of me changes as they get to know me. i'm an introverted extrovert and can't handle being around people for too long. i prefer talking to listening and i'm an idealist.

i'm also a massive hopeless romantic and my love language is quality time - and sometimes physical touch. i'd say my dream bf would share the same sense of humour, and he'd be really supportive of me. we'd have late night conversations - if i'm close to someone i like to ramble about my hyperfixations ahah.

i like old cities, anything vintage, astrology, reading, spotify playlists, baking, psychology and greek myths. i like 60s-80s music - the beatles, david bowie, Fleetwood mac & a couple of the smiths songs

<33

your perfect matchup is 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 💌

𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <𝟑

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <𝟑

let’s be real could i really put anything else?!?!

we all know he’s totally in love with you and who am i to go against pure facts.

so since hogwarts is such a big school it’s highly likely that you wouldn’t cross paths till that one fateful year where you were in the same potions class.

we all know that slughorn is the type of teacher to very much have favourites and you two are both definitely up there.

but even he has to do his job and when james starts get particularly bad scores in his potions class he decides something must be done about it so he pairs james with one of his star students aka you!!!

but what slughorn doesn’t know is that the reason james is doing so badly in potions is because he’s way too preoccupied staring at you <3

when james finds out that he’s paired with you he’s ecstatic but also terribly nervous.

the pair of you agree to meet in library and do so each week.

and in each week you grow closer to the point where you almost kiss in one of your tutor sessions :0

pretty soon you have a test coming up and james makes you promise that if he gets more than half you’ll go on a date with him.

you don’t tell him that you’d go on a date with him anyways.

he gets 80% so you go out and well the rest is history <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <𝟑

no couple at hogwarts can even remotely compare to you two, not in an awful superiority way but just in the simple way that you and james completely adore each other.

like even in group settings the two of you are in your own little worlds together which if the pair of you had your say neither one would leave.

also can i just say slughorn is your biggest shipper, he takes full credit for you relationship just humor him please <3

i feel like you two are always slow dancing? like in the evening he just holds you close to him and you lovesick idiots just waltz together to there is a light that never goes out or cinnamon girl.

and on long journeys you always, always share headphones. it took him a while to get used to headphones but now he knows of them there’s no going back.

he picks flowers for you!! often they’re kinda limp dandelions but he tries his better and he loops them into your hair so he’s forgiven <3

omg he’s always kissing you, be it your lips, cheeks, nose,palms, even your ankle once… essentially if there’s skin on display he’s going to kiss it.

he also calls you the most creative nicknames to the point that they’re kind of ugly. like my little mugmate… gross but they’re said with affection <3

basically james is so smitten with you it’s ridiculous but you wouldn’t have it any other way <333

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <𝟑

hugs and kisses, flo

[100pizzas]

Finally got a chance to start watching Picard Season 3. Just over halfway through, and I definitely have some Thoughts.

Riker is my favourite character this season! I feel like Frakes had made some great acting choices here: the familiar Riker charm with a bit of an edge, sort of quippy but haunted.

Could use a whole series about Captain Shaw. Loved the wolf 359 backstory

Great to have the original TNG cast back, but feels weird to see them in aged form! (Conveniently ignoring that I’ve also aged 30 years since I started watching Star Trek)

It’s ridiculous any time anyone refers to Jack Crusher as “the Boy”. He’s clearly a grown man 🤷🏻‍♀️

This raw chicken flesh version of the changelings is super gross 🤢

Vadic’s weird greasy hair, also gross. The actress is doing a great job, I just can’t stand to look at her

Really like all the musical callbacks to previous films/shows. Especially the Klingon motif when Worf shows up and the First Contact theme at the end credits. The score sounds more authentically “Star Trek” overall

I think I’m enjoying it more than previous seasons, but I fully expect to be disappointed by the end, lol

[opendoordiary]

Another day another me making this post in browser. I hope all is well with everyone. I hold so much in my memories with me everyday and for that I am thankful.

I’m happy you used that to get a 3d printer. I hope it brings you joy everyday!

I’ve been doing my things. I’m never home much anymore. I don’t plan to go home “home” much this semester either. It’s not bad there but it’s not really for me all of the time and that’s okay.

I feel like this semester I’m actually living out “college”. The never being home definitely plays into that a lot lol. My days are filled with connections from people and small little things that make me smile. I like it. I also like roomie a lot, we’re at the point where we shower with another in the bathroom lol. I missed having girl friends who I was close to like that. It’s really nice being able to come home and unpack the day with her or tell her about what this boys doing or what not. Cute girl shit. Hence the door decorated, I’m sure you’ve peeped. It’s the whitest white girl shit ever but it makes me so happy, we went out to buy stuff to decorate it together and every time I look at it it reminds me of how happy and giggly we both were to decorate more.

Classes are well. None of them are crazy hard except one, but the teacher calls on me for questions and likes me alot. He won’t anymore. I’m not lost compared to the other kids in there. He made us all sign contracts for the class and keeps pulling bs so I’m meeting w the chair to settle shit out. I don’t like getting disrespected on my dime and he’s very mean to a couple of my friends in there.

I’ve been very happy for a while now. Kinda like I’m at peace. I have so much happening everyday and I’m in love with it. Zoe and I are going on a walk and gonna read/journal there soon. I’m excited. We put on cute dresses. Cooking breakfast. Love it.

B turns his head away from me in public whenever I see him. He saw me with a guy the other day! But tbh I see him bring a lot of girls over frequently (good for him?? maybe?? hope ur well and not using it to cope w shit??) and heard he fucked up dying his hair. that made me giggle i wont even lie. we used to do it together and Id always wonder if he’d get another girl to do it if I wasn’t there and yes, you did, and even better, it came out orange!! You gotta tone it . You didn’t need to dye it dark again. Could’ve made it ash and still lighter

This new guys kinda like me. He’s graduating early. Has an almost 4.0, 4 internships, making more than I am rn, gonna make more than me after I graduate (hard to find lol? ), bomb ass music taste. he helps me with homework and puts me on track getting stuff done 2 weeks early and shit, I mean he has his calendar filled out until decemeber. He always smells so good too. He’s been cooking for me and like the other day I got out of class, he texted me a bit then called and asked where i was at. Home boy came picked me up so I didn’t have to walk ,fed me ,studied me up for tommorow and held me. what the helll. ur all put together and shit. 800 credit score. like dayumn. good parents. you’re funny too. guys never usually make me nervous . but holy fuck. looked you in the eyes too long at the library while you were asking me a question about my job, and I blanked. Completely just face red blanked. why are you so pretty, and I mean SHIT ITS MY JOB I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY JOB LIKE PRETTY BOYYY LEMME RIZZ YOU UP TELL U ABOUT MY 0 TRUST ARCHETETURE SERVER AND MY INTERNS AND HOW I BOSS THEM ALL AROUND AND MY SERVERS LIKE UGHHHH

I never usually dump on here. This may be tmi. But I think you are looking to see this, enjoy it i guess?