#like my boss said kAsEys lIfE iS sO hArD

[coolcoelacanth]

im all negative bc i never do anything fun, I don't have any friends, and it seems like everyone always has something negative to say about me all the time (at work the patients and my one boss 🙄). it's hard to be positive when everything just feels so draining and nobody appreciates you. even my one preceptor was being a bitch to me the other day (WeLl I dOnT seE iT WrItTen AnYwHeRe). i dont get how people just feel so comfortable being rude to people like why is it so normalized i can't think of a single person i was mean to recently like wtf. and the one guy i was talking to on bumble hasnt responded to me today and i actually liked it and it was making me have hope for humanity. he's probably just busy but i hope he doesn't ghost me it would be nice to have a little fling or something to have fun. endure and survive i guess 🫡

[spacemiddenzz]

so i was watching @super-metroid's stream of Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (highly recommend by the way) and she fought Imaginary Numbers this time. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, since it's my favorite boss and all. This is gonna be a longpost and it's gonna have spoilers so the whole thing can be found under the cut.

So, to put it simply, this dungeon is about stress and confusion. It's about Jimmy's mind frantically trying to comprehend the high-level math that Andrew is teaching him on top of his schoolwork. Jimmy thinks that his dad is the smartest man in the world- this is hyperbole for sure, but the fact that Andrew is quite intelligent remains clear. Jimmy looks up to Andrew because of his intelligence- and because of this it means a lot to Jimmy to be praised by Andrew. He wants his dad to view him as intelligent as well, because, if a man as smart as Andrew thinks Jimmy is smart, he can't be wrong! And hell, it feels nice to be validated by your parents.

Clearly, Andrew has already recognized Jimmy's talent with numbers and has started teaching him concepts beyond the second-grade curriculum, something that we see in the flashbacks in the Symmetrical Cavern. However if Imaginary Numbers' design is anything to go by, these concepts may be at or above the high school level. They're too much for Jimmy to understand. He's only eight, and his mind just isn't ready for that yet. Still, he feels the pressure to keep up with- and understand- the work that Andrew gives him. Why? Because he fears failure. He worries that if he admits to his father that the work is too hard, Andrew won't see him as a "smart boy" any longer- and that praise and validation means a lot to Jimmy. He doesn't want to lose it.

Let's start with the song that plays during this nightmare dungeon- Counting Backwards From Infinity. From the erratic bassline to the random samples of people shouting numbers in no particular order over and over again, this song simply screams disorder and panic. As a person who has always struggled with math, it's incredibly relatable. Counting Backwards From Infinity always reminded me of taking math tests in high school. I was so slow that I almost never could finish a test in a single class period. The frantic, wild bass and the cacophony of people screaming numbers out of order reminded me of trying desperately to remember how to solve a type of problem- and do it quickly enough so that I could hand the test in before the bell rang. I imagine that this is how Jimmy feels when Andrew places in front of him a concept that the boy does not fully understand. Perhaps he's had it explained to him several times but still can't fully grasp it (likely because, again, the kid is eight). The wild confusion and stress he feels when he doesnt fucking understand what's in front of him and doesnt want to look like an idiot in front of his dad. Even the name of the song is a reference to the fact that at this stage of his life this stuff may be an insurmountable task.

The dungeon itself is also set up in an incredibly confusing way. There's a bunch of bizarre-looking purple structures and winding paths. You teleport all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason. The enemies in this area, too, are deformed geometrical shapes that are almost Lovecraftian in the way that they cannot be understood. To Jimmy, Andrew's teachings might as be as comprehensible as a Lumpagon or a Squiggles, and that's definitely the idea that one gets here. The confusion, the pressure, the panic.

At one point in the dungeon you're teleported to a fakeout area that looks like the Path of Enlightenment. This is my favorite thing about the Asymmetrical Cavern, because of the fact that it has so many cool secrets, but also because it gave me a feeling that I could (once again) relate to. Jimmy's teleportation to the Path of Enlightenment isn't random. It represents familiarity in a sea of confusion. Jimmy sees something he recognizes during Andrew's lessons. Maybe he thinks that he's finally got the hang of it- that he's studied hard enough and now all of this jargon makes sense- only to be rudely awakened by the fact that he's been doing it wrong and never understood the concept in the first place. Even the secrets kind of hint at this. If you speak to pointman in this part of the dungeon he says "I am the blood of numbers leaking from your ears. The nails of ignorance are already being driven into your brain. What point is there in giving voice to madness?" (which is metal as fuck by the way)

Jimmy just thinks that his inability to understand makes him an idiot. His lack of understanding- the nails of ignorance- are being driven into his brain. If he can't understand all of Andrew's teachings, maybe he was never a smart boy after all.

And finally let's talk about Imaginary Numbers itself. First of all, it's an amalgamation of a bunch of different mathematical symbols, including a tombstone, a slashed epsilon, and a sigma. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I recognized, honestly. Given that dreams don't really make things up, instead just taking things that you have seen/experienced before, it looks like Jimmy has encountered some... seriously advanced shit. Tombstones are used in geometric proofs. I only started doing proofs in high school geometry, meaning that Jimmy may very well be learning concepts meant for kids twice his age. No wonder the poor kid is stressed.

Oh yeah, also the boss sucks ass to fight. I've heard some people call that bad game design, but I'm not sure that's how I'd classify it. Sure, like I said, the boss sucks complete ass to fight and is almost entirely RNG-dependent. From a gameplay standpoint, this is wack as hell, yeah. Fucking 30% chance to deflect any magical or physical attack with a 30% chance to dodge a physical attack on top of that? Definitely bad game design. But from an artistic standpoint? Not at all. In fact, the futility of this fight adds to it. It really drills into your head that the only thing on your side here is pure fucking luck. And the odds aren't in your favor.

The feeling of futility- of the fact that this may in fact be, by all definitions, an insurmountable task for Jimmy, really struck home the situation. The battle would not be nearly as impactful without this. And personally, I'm all for it. Imagine walking into the Asymmetrical Cavern for the first time, not knowing what to expect. You get your ass handed to you on a silver platter by Imaginary Numbers after it chains Program Omega at you five times in a row.

That's the feeling Kasey wanted to give you. And it's critical. It's just... so perfect, I honestly don't know how to put it into words. It was supposed to represent the confusion and turmoil of a task nigh insurmountable. And it did the job pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.

I know Jimmy is good at numbers and this wasn't supposed to represent a real struggle with the subject of math/the concept of numbers in general, but hot damn if I didn't feel seen. Except Jimmy is eight but I was like 17 struggling in precalc with the same shit. I guess we know Jimmy's smarter than I am rip

TLDR; andrew please stop putting unnecessary stress on your kid youre freaking him out

anyway if you guys have any thoughts about this boss or this dungeon in general i would love to hear them. but where im at its like 2 AM so im probably gonna it the mf sack for now. later dudes

[abitscripturient]

Favorite Parts of Oxytocin Pt. 3

22-30 (autumn chapters)

Chapter 22

Ryutaro just stared at the newly incensed woman and his nonchalant attitude added wood to the fire. She knew that he was just being dirty. Her mouth turned up as much as his did earlier and she was about to lit onto him, but then she just smiled shaking her head. He wasn’t worth her energy and she was taught better. 

“You are just...just so despicable, Ryutaro and I'm glad you’re firing me...”

A finger was pointed at her slowly from the desk. “Don't disrespect me. You will call me Mizuno-sama.” Aija scoffed and put her hands on the desk to face her ex-boss head to head. Ryutaro slowly stood up to do the same and the intensity charged the room’s atmosphere.

“No, I don't think so. You're not my master. You're not even my boss as of this moment on! I'll call you whatever I wish to now.” Aija spat, making sure Ryutaro got the full view of who the real Aija could be if challenged. She wasn’t going to back down when it came to who she loved and Hikaru was that person.

Chapter 23

Kynli paused in her step, hesitating and then turning around to face Hikaru. “Actually…” At his questionable gaze, she walked into the office saying, “I have noticed some things and I have a feeling that I’m not to going to match up to the receptionist before me.”

Hikaru put down his pen before lowering his chin to his hands in thought. “You’re doing a good job.”

“But not as good as Aija.”

He didn’t lie. “Aija was one of a kind, yes. But not just as a receptionist…she was a friend to everybody here.”

Kynli nodded in understanding before asking, “If you don’t mind me asking…why was she let go?”

Hikaru regarded the woman. A few months ago he would have told her she was overstepping her bounds. But he didn’t have a problem for some reason. “Because she fell in love and now has a relationship with me.” 

Kynli blinked in surprise. Hikaru chuckled. “It’s frowned upon of course and we both knew what would happen, but the truth always comes out.”

“Do you love her?”

Hikaru raised an eyebrow.

“Aija. Do you love her?”

Hikaru could honestly only give one answer. “With my entire being.”

Kynli gave a soft smile and replied, “Then not all is lost. Have a good night, Doctor.” Hikaru returned the smile and Kynli made her departure. She seemed like a nice addition to the office, after all.

Chapter 24

This was a hard chapter to write and so there is no fave part here.

Chapter 25

She was stopped with a gentle hand on her shoulder. She frowned and gave a confused glance upward. The officer who stopped her was the same one who convinced her to come out of the closet. He kneeled down to her level. His eyes were full of concern. He pushed back a strand of her hair asking, "You okay, honey? How did you get that bruise?" Aija rubbed her cheek. "One of the big men hit me when they hit my momma." Tears came to her eyes seeing the ambulance drive away. This felt wrong. Her mother shouldn’t be leaving her behind.

“Momma… Don’t leave me. Okay?” she sobbed, reaching toward the ambulance. 

Aija then was picked up weightless, hearing, "Don't worry, Little Girl. You're safe now." Aija didn’t answer. All that mattered, for now, were the warm strong arms holding her. She buried her wet face into his neck. As he carried her, she heard somebody call out, “You got her, Edwards?” 

“Yeah, she’s not leaving my sight.” He answered, stroking her hair.

Chapter 26

Chi took another sip of tea.“I know that you knew that this wouldn’t be okay with your father, Hikaru. You’re an intelligent man. Look where you came from. Nippon isn’t exactly a mixed race country. Interracial relationships are rare.”

At Hikaru’s look of confusion, Chinatsu put a hand on her chest. Her eyes were warm. “I myself am happy when you are happy, son. If Aija makes you happy then so be it. But what I’m all right with and what Nippon and your father are all right with are two different things.

Hikaru scoffed again; his heart resolved to one fact:that it belonged to Aija. “Kore wa Nihonde wa arimasen. This isn’t Japan, Okaa… This is America. I can be with who I want and nobody can force me to do otherwise.”

Chinatsu remained quiet, but her eyes shone with unhidden pride for her son.

Chapter 27

“Yeah. We even went to music class together as children.” Takumi added, putting his cup down on the table. 

Briseis smiled with pride at her husband, but Aija frowned in confusion. “Music class? That’s news to me. I never would have pegged you guys as musicians.”

“Takumi does his for a living. He’s pretty popular back in Japan and people love the music of his piano.” Briseis explained, holding on to Takumi’s hand as he nodded in agreement.

“You play the piano. That’s wonderful and I love classical music.” Aija said before eying Hikaru. “You never told me you can play piano, baby.” 

Hikaru looked over with intense eyes over at Aija from his cup, and then lowered it replying, “That’s because I don’t play the piano.” 

“Then…I…don't understand. Did you just follow Takumi to classes just cause or what?” 

“Violin.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Violin. I play the violin.” 

Chapter 28

“I would love nothing more than to teach you how to be a lady, Miss Aija. Being stylish is only the beginning of having class. There are also manners and personality. Learning how to take care of yourself and not rely on anyone if you can help it. An independent woman is a thing of beauty.” Evelyn explained with a warm smile.

Aija just sat transfixed listening to every word her aunt told her while riding in the car. She could see herself being just what she envisioned in her mind. Only time would tell if she would make it happen.

“Posture is a must. Sitting up straight and making sure your legs are closed are a plus in a woman’s life. Don’t want to cross your legs over the knees? Cross them at the ankles. Keep the men guessing about you, honey. Don’t give away all of the goodies with a sneak peek of your panties.”

Aija instantly sat up straight, pushing her legs together and Evelyn gave her approval by winking. “You’re already getting there, baby girl. Stick with me. I won’t steer you wrong.”

Chapter 29

“I want to look into your eyes. So that you know as I’m fucking you, just who’s pussy this belongs to.”

Aija speechless, nodded and as Hikaru began to thrust into her with a slow rhythm, let her eyes close in pleasure.

Another smack on her ass cheek opened them wide and she cried out looking up. Hikaru looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. 

“Keep those eyes open.”

“Yes, sir.” 

Chapter 30

While Reggie looked back at Nakiah and sucked air between his teeth, Hikaru took that moment to move his hand off of Aija’s with ease. The thug turned back to Hikaru with a frown on his face before he moved up to touch chests and lock eyes with the confident doctor. Hikaru didn’t back down but didn’t make a move either. Aija glanced back and forth between the two charged up men, knowing a fight could break out in her house, and before Reggie could try to raise a hand, she exclaimed,  “Get the fuck out of my kitchen, Reggie!”

Reggie backed up, nodding. He pointed a finger at Hikaru, warning him that this wasn’t over between them, but Hikaru wasn’t intimidated in the least.

Medi Love Tag List (contact to be added or removed): @kainablue @ladywithalamp @kasey-writes @daftydrafty @catharticallysarcastic