#like YEAH IT IS KIND OF HARD ACTUALLY
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im all negative bc i never do anything fun, I don't have any friends, and it seems like everyone always has something negative to say about me all the time (at work the patients and my one boss 🙄). it's hard to be positive when everything just feels so draining and nobody appreciates you. even my one preceptor was being a bitch to me the other day (WeLl I dOnT seE iT WrItTen AnYwHeRe). i dont get how people just feel so comfortable being rude to people like why is it so normalized i can't think of a single person i was mean to recently like wtf. and the one guy i was talking to on bumble hasnt responded to me today and i actually liked it and it was making me have hope for humanity. he's probably just busy but i hope he doesn't ghost me it would be nice to have a little fling or something to have fun. endure and survive i guess 🫡
#personal#it doesn't help that i have chronic depression#and i have problems with invalidating myself from chronic invalidation from everyone around me#like my boss said kAsEys lIfE iS sO hArD#he always says shit like that unprompted#like sorry im not perky happy? im depressed#and he doesn't know anything about my life to even say that#ive been independent since my sister could drive i was abused for 19 years i had to make the decision to institutionalize my abuser after#she ran out into traffic and was cussing people out obviously having an episode#i don't have any family my rent is $900 a month for a 300 sq ft room with cockroaches and mold#i work 50 hours a week 40 hours which is unpaid at my rotation#like YEAH IT IS KIND OF HARD ACTUALLY#i think if someone was kind to me i would start crying bc its been so long#that's another problem bc when someone is nice to me i become mikasa devoted to them its such a rarity in my life#i end up cherishing them like theyre god for showing simple compassion#lord 🙏🙏🤦♀️#if only i had a normal family#fuck off JEREMY#so obnoxious like can u please keep ur comments to urself#i mean hes gotten several warnings for his rudeness anyway its not like its just me#it just BOTHERS ME STILL#BUT IM TRYING TO LET IT GO#its just bc he says that shit in front of our other coworker and its just embarrassing
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Hi isat fandom. Points at the sign.
#ocean surely nobody actuall-‘ I’ve seen enough arts that get this wrong. yes it’s real I’ve seen it#the bitter ocean talks#anyway if anyone is genuinely confused on how to draw Mirabelle on model the creator of the game has a post showing how to draw her hair#and also Google is free. Hope this helps.#anyway yeah. 👍🏾#idk man it kind of gets irritating to see as a black person#when people complain about how hard it is to draw characters who look like you and say that it ‘doesn’t fit my style’ or whatever#I’m not saying anyone is perfect but like you could make the effort. to grow and learn perhaps
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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so I very briefly mentioned this au I have in my last gideon doodle post and saw one tag saying to elaborate and thats all the excuse I needed. ok to be honest i didnt need an excuse i was going to talk about it anyway
i had a dream shortly after the stanchurian candidate aired where my brain made up a fake episode of GF to essentially finish gideons 'arc'. and it involved him making a deal with bill to gain demon powers. bill promised him All The Perks, and he was desperate to get outta jail, so he took it.
turns out 'all the perks' involves being trapped in the nightmare dimension without a physical form and, while being tremendously powerful, unable to truly utilize those powers without being summoned. so he sort of just gets condemned to existing as a demon and is desperate to get back into a physical body because, turns out, the human brain is not really.. designed to process that existence for too long. it freaks you out. especially if 'you' happens to be a ten year old who is still afraid of the dark and spends most of their time surrounded by nightmares.
it was weirdly grim and i woke up like 'holy shit. i need to make that an AU' and it developed from there. in the more thought-out version, bill and gideons deal involved him swapping into gideons body to further his plans for a while. he never promised he'd give it BACK, though. it, uh. ended how you'd expect bill possessing a body to end.
'what happened to his eye?' bill thought it'd be funny if it was part of his collectin on gideons 'debt'. hes got one eye, you should have only one of em, too.
honestly I make most of the details up as I go and its mostly an excuse to draw my favourite worst son in various levels of power-thirst and distress. sorry gids even you dont deserve this one
#alloyart#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#gravity falls au#demon gideon au#yeah ill make a tag for that#i just checked and my original post about this was eight years ago good grief.#but yeah gideon spends a lot of time freaking out and then kind of switches to. 'ok i need to make a deal with someone to get out of this'#and switches on his manipulative charm again#he can proooobably contact people via their dreams even without summoning which is how he goads people towards it i think?#idk i havent actually thought about the specifics that hard despite it being a long-standing au of mine#puts my son in the nightmare blender and shakes him violently#i do like him i promise. hes like my favourite character. and its because of this that i must put him in Situations you see.
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hello....... daemon au once again!! this fanfic changed my brain chemistry guys. please read it here!!!
#pathologic#daniil dankovsky#artemy burakh#um i dont think i want to tag all the characters but YEAH!!!! FIC IS GOOD!#this is actually a yearish in the making#i literally have a clip studio file just full of these doodles#but i legit think about this like once a week#so i keep going to the file to doodle characters and daemons etc etc.#i think ignat combs through laras hair when theyre both nervous#and i also think by virtue of khan staying in the tower all the time it kind of makes ozymandias a little extra....hmm... Strange#i really wanted to draw more noukher and asclepius cause theyre awesome#and i have so many ideas for drawing but also bulls are hard to draw. this coming from tumblr user “cows1012”. i know :(#so for now#some other townsfolk!! and artemys bound yahoo!!!
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Honestly despite my feelings about how the last arc of MHA went down I really love Deku and his story.
I just feel like a lot of the time we get these protagonists whose whole philosophy is it doesn’t matter what you were born as everyone can achieve greatness. But then the series goes on and it turns out that actually it DOES matter because the protagonist has this really great lineage and these really great powers you can only have through birth they were actually born born, predestined if you will, to do this.
But MHA actually sticks to its guns. Midoriya wasn’t revealed to have some great connection to all might that the universe had put in place. He wasn’t defended from some great lineage that makes him uniquely suited to this. Hell All for one didn’t even turn out to be his father, there was no hidden powerful quirk he was always meant to have. He was just Midoriya Izuku a boy who was in the right place at the right time and simply decided to act while the world did nothing. And that’s what really made him a hero.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I believe him a bit more when he goes anybody can be a hero if you just decide to act
#also never stop crying baby I love taht about you#like I do understand that being given one for all an extremely powerful quirk is kind of a cop out#but still the quirk was passed down to him because of his own merits not becayse it was pre destined or because he was born to weird it#and honestly that’s more than we’ve got in a long time.#yes this is a little bit of a naruto call out cause I will never get over that complete 180 😭#and it does randomly drop that little tidbit of how it was good luck Midoriya was quirkless or the quirk would have killed him young#but honestly I don’t even know what to make of that besides……yay?#also yeah that’s pretty realistic sometimes disabilities make your more suited for somethings so yeah#this isn’t me implying that other protagonists didn’t work hard by the way I know they did two things can be true at once#bakugo proves that. like he is was born with an extremely powerful quirk but nobody can say he doesn’t work hard#it’s just a little tiring to see this underdog character suddenly get a backstory that’s like sike you actually needed to be born to do thi#one piece does this a little bit to be fair to them the story doesn’t really emphasize anyone can do it that way it has different themes#about what family means and it’s all about inherited will so I can give it a pass#but yeah I really appreciate mha for sticking to that gun even though it dropped the ball on a lot of things#like never fully addressing the quirkless people can be heroes too thing but that’s a topic for next time#throwing thoughts to the void#deku#mha#my hero academia#mha meta#mha analysis#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#one for all#mha deku#bhna#boku no hero acedamia
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wait, that elias?
#huge shoutout to @sepezzz elias design this is very much inspired by it. go look at it#im so serious if i never draw another person manspreading in a fucking office chair it’ll be TOO SOON#anyways.#the juxtaposition truly is crazy hahaaha right people change in the weirdest of ways#i like thinking about how they both present themselves. elias understands he works at Important Academic Research Facility so he still#sooort of tries to look somewhat official. but well he also gets away with what he can#he has that vibe of Yeah i work here and im kind of important but i’m chill. i know how to chill#meanwhile that other freak is just like i am going to make this body look presentable or so help me god.#he’s the Head of the Institute he can no longer have whimsy okay. and listen it’s not because i think jonah is that boring and would#dislike piercings and funny socks or whatever. i think he’d like those. but see he needs to make this believable that elias truly has#changed okay. and also like i said he is the Head of the Institute he needs to look Super Normal And Unremarkable#anyways i think it’s funny how elias’ whole thing is that he tries to distance himself from his family image and tries really hard to Not#end up like a rich asshole. and then. well.#(looks around) So i think about this man a normal amount.#i could write like 20 thinkpieces on both of them but instead they’re gonna make me do college essays about like language and shit.#myart#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#oh my god it is actually un fucking believable how much i think about him every day#if this becomes a daily elias blog yall will just have to deal
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"Sansa = Ned 2.0 and Arya = Catelyn 2.0" is one of those takes where you can just tell people are more attached to the aesthetic than anything. "The Stark girls are most like the parent they look least like" sounds good on paper and people run with the idea, regardless of how it actually fits into the story. A majority of the justification relies on misinterpreting all of their characters + a healthy dose of fanon. What gets me is that this is the same fandom that insists that Lyanna, only compared to Arya in the text, is equal parts Arya and Sansa but Ned and Catelyn, two fully fleshed-out and complex characters, have to be more like one girl or the other? There's just nothing in the story to justify being so adamant about these comparisons. Arya and Sansa have parallels with both of their parents but at the end of the day, they are unique characters with their own stories. I'll never understand why people want to flatten these complex characters down to their most basic tropes and fit them into restrictive boxes just for a "poetical~" comparison.
#arya stark#sansa stark#catelyn stark#ned stark#house stark#asoiaf#BORING YAWNING SLOPPY#notice how these takes never come with actual evidence from the books to make direct comparisons from the text?#/ned is a gentle quiet poitican/ and he physically attacks someone + constantly shows his frustration and voicing his opinions#our first introduction to him is him executing a man and we know he's done so several times that year#he says that his toddler son needs to grow up and stop being afraid of a giant wolf cause /winter is coming/ and Northern life is hard 😭#/Cat is a feral wild woman/ and her chapters are full of her holding her tongue and trying to mediate situations#people literally switch their characterizations cause the second a woman shows emotion she's /feral/#and a man can be the most wild unhinged character ever and still be /kind/ and /gentle/#like yeah fanon sansa is fanon ned 2.0 and fanon arya is fanon cat 2.0 but their actual characters are more complex then that#the only valid /2.0/ comparison is between Lyanna and Arya but somehow she gets split between Arya and Sansa 🥴#my hourly frustration at this fandom not caring about the story and only being here for /the vibes~/#like Ned hates Tourneys and protests one as a waste of resources while Sansa is planning a Tourney and using resources while winter#is arriving and smallfolk are going hungry...but she's Ned 2.0? Where? How? Huh?#And yeah Ned deals with politics in KL but that's relatively a small aspect of his character#and even him constantly speaking his mind and challenging Robert directly is the exact opposite of Sansa's approach 😭#/courtesy is a Lady's armor/ vs. /I'm gonna tell Robert he's an idiot right to his face/ oh yeah totes the same#Arya is the character following his advice and guidance for a reason just saying#like if Sansa was doing the same I could see it but she..isn't? Her approach is much closer to Catelyn's than Ned's#I don't understand why people have all of the sudden decided that the Sansa/Cat parallels are shallow when they're#very similar characters and Sansa's current plot actually revolves around that fact#obviously they're not exactly alike but no two characters are or even meant to be...their comparisons are still very valid#tired of being expected to accept an idea just because enough people repeat it
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what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time
#maybe i’m just saying BULLSHIT and i might delete later but. idk. just thought i’d say.#tell me what you think of this maybeee..#i randomly pulled this outta my ass so if it’s inaccurate to him i apologize to the more knowledgeable duck lovers#i do know it’s just a joke and it’s just making fun of him not knowing wtf he’s talking about . thinking death is some kind of award#but i think too hard sometimes#yeah. actually idk about what i wrote.#ANYWAY UMMM#another things that’s definitely not tru but what if in dhmis 5 duck actually expected to die but things were going wrong and it scared him#like oh nooo what if i never see this yellow dude again and that other tall one i can’t remember :(((#anyway you guys are wayyyyy better at analysis than me. but i almost never do it so bear with me while im learning#dhmis#☎️#don’t hug me i’m scared#duck#duck guy#duck dhmis#TRYING TO PUSH THE POST BUTTON IM SCARED
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.
most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.
#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn#its just a pattern ive observed online#im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words#but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help#youre a fucking idiot lol#people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online#how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders#of those spaces have been telling them#you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause.#text#like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim#and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh#like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation#some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore#and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time!#unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them#very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you#have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?
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sekai au 👊😔
#my post#hatsune loopku.....#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#I was SUPPOSED to make a modern au but look. where that got me#prpject sekai.....#hsatsune miku......#woaw.........#I haven't planned this yet. I just wanted to draw loop with Miku's pigtails really badly because I came up with the shape idea and went lik#ogguuguuuuGUG#oh bell yeas#actually well I have a little#small group of college students who met via tutor group (by odile) that turned into a book club and maybe band?#they would all suck playing instruments honestly#I made it a sekai au because I needed loop to go SOMEWHERE and went insane trying to figure something out till I finally went fuck whatever#fine#siffrin made a sekai and loop is there. fine. whatever. fine. yeah. fine#I don't know how the timeloop will come in.#I cant have both a timeloop and a sekai at once.#I would forget the other exists#and focus all on one#or it would be too much at once#also its kind of hard to do a timeloop like the one in-game in a modern way?#there's no good rocks to be crushed by that aren't like a collapsing building anyway#OH OH also this might be the last project sekai related art you see for a WHILE#this game hit my brain worse than project sekai I'm so serious#I've burned through almost all of my sketchbook and there are three(3) drawings that aren't siffrin#THREE.
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For sy attendant au - what are SQQ attitude and feelings towards SY, if you don't mind me asking?
Because what I read so far hadn't painted him in good light. Like sure - he wants to survive and SY is an key asset in that, but the way he goes around it is... questionable.
so i answered this ask about it but i just realized that i dont think i tagged it with anything so. MY BAD thats my bad
the long and short of it is that sqq is definitely not a good person in this au lol. granted theres less of the overt child abuse because sy is able to stop some of that but sy still is very much a servant to him. one of the better things about this au is that sqq really just sees sy as a means to an end.. there is some attachment to him but sqq really does not really see sy as someone with his own agenda outside of like. living comfortably. its kind of good in a way that like sqq will grant sy a general amount of mobility around the sect because of sy's vague position and he doesnt reeaally care what shen yuan is doing if its not actively doing work for the peak or sqq.
sqq really sees sy as more of like. a political pawn? in a way. like he keeps sy close for appearances around the sect and he does in some way feel like hes doing charity work because by extension of working for him sy is granted a fair amount of power and status. but he doesnt care what shen yuan does in his free time or for fun. sqq is not the worst person of all in this au but he is definitely someone who isnt afraid of using others to help himself. that and like. its definitely a pat on the back for him of being able to say "well you were sent here to take my place and instead of killing you as was my right i HELPED you and i even gave you your own place on this peak and look at you now. youre mingling with some of the best and the brightest that the cultivation world has to offer" like nevermind that he isnt interested in helping sy with his own cultivation lawl
ok that wasnt short at all sorry but sqq is using sy but he also feels like hes helping him a bit. its a pretty unequal give and take so they definitely have an unhealthy relationship. that being said i think sy goes out of his way to misunderstand sqq a lot because he allows his hate of sqq to shape how he sees his actions.. so he doesnt put a lot of effort into actually examining how sqq differs from the book. also now that ive had a lot of time to think on this au i dont really think that sy's end goal in all of this would be to LEAVE as much as it would be he would want an actual firm position and leverage over sqq so he didnt feel so unstable. that and he does feel indebted to sqq. he could probably handle being around the guy if sqq didnt have so much say over his life
#sy attendant au#and when i say being around the guy i mean that shen yuan would snark at him a lot and yell and theyd both get on each others nerves#but shen yuan wouldnt feel compelled to like. actually damage his cultivation or poison his tea#and sqq finds it hard to relate to sy because he literally appeared by a higher being dropping him from another world#and sy is so fundamentally different in his modern beliefs that sqq feels both that hes hardening him up and protecting him by making#him his assistant. to him its kind of like helping a venomous insect and then keeping it in a terrarium to study LOL#and yeah its rly questionable i think its funny if they had a really unhealthy relationship. gay people LOSE!#ok sorry i always say so much but its because i have so much to say.. thanks for asking! i love talking about my aus#svsss#asks
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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I think it’s such a lovely thought that the stuff you’re going through now is preparing you for the things you want.
#I know I’m sorry this is so insta inspirational post of me#but I love it#just the thought that our hearts are sure enough to know what we want and reach for it#but too stupid to understand what we need to actually be able to receive it#so God prepares us gently through the here and now#however ugly and painful!#Anyway I often feel that I don’t even know what I want and that is its own anguish#but this is still a comforting thought to me#I love when things are true just not how we think and this is kind of the heart of that#you GET the thing you want. it is also a surprise and gives you more than you thought it would#in hard ways and in good ways#I am just reflecting#I told my counselor yesterday that I did overthink everything but also I had a lot of beautiful thoughts in the overthinking#and she laughed and was like ‘yeah I can see that’
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honestly i could write essay after essay about everything that made that finale bad. and i will. however comma i genuinely do not care about any of these characters enough to want to do that. i don't want to spend my time critiquing and analysing a show where all the characters are boring and the plot is all deus ex machina.
LIKE. WHO IS RUBY. WHO IS SHE. WHO FUCKING IS SHE.
she's done with the whole SEASON. she was in EVERY episode. and we literally don't know anything about her apart from the whole mom mystery thing which is all for the big reveal at the end anyway?
and i can talk about the ways in which that was unsatisfying and so on. but like what does that tell us about RUBY? what do we know about HER
and the answer is honestly very little. ruby is such a stock doctor who companion that it's just kind of boring. she gets a big mystery, because of fucking course she does, and who is she outside of that? nice?? sweet?? does as she's told?? (this one is fucking boring btw) kind of like the chibnall companions, she's whoever she needs to be for the situation at hand. the writers say ruby needs to be shocked by landing on a planet after 6 months of travelling with the doctor, so she is. she isn't a person. she has one desire, which is to find her mother, and the only reason she gets to have that is that rtd needs to set up whatever the fuck was going on with her mom for the finale. that's it.
and the doctor. like why should we care about this doctor specifically, outside of the fact that this is the character we have been following for the whole show? who is he??? like seriously who is he? he doesn't get any character development? what makes him different from other doctors? who the fuck is this guy????
i said earlier that ncuti's doctor is what you get when you throw all the doctors in a blender and i stand by that. he's definitely the doctor, but he's like an average of all the other doctors with nothing particularly unique or special about him. ruby is what you get when you throw all the companions in a blender. definitely a companion, with nothing unique or special about her either. much like chibnall's companions, all she gets to do is stand around and watch.
and the crucial missing factor is we don't get to see what they see in each other. which from the companion's perspective is still excusable because here's a dude with a spaceship time machine and that sounds kind of sick so lets go and travel with him is an understandable motivation. but what does he see in her? because there's always a moment where you can see the doctor sort of think, oh yeah, i should travel with this person.
but there isn't really this moment with ruby. it's kind of like with how thirteen meets her companions. she just sort of runs into them, and now they're stuck together. and ncuti does get to emote more than jodie, so at least you can see that ruby and the doctor do like each other, but their relationship isn't really fleshed out ever. and like i can buy ruby risking her life for him, because that is just sort of what happens on doctor who, but it's not based on anything. we don't see them develop this trust of each other. their relationship doesn't get developed. it just appears fully formed.
#alexis.exe#dw crit#rtd critical#doctor who critical#i mean i do have more to say#but the main reason this season didnt work for me was that the character work was ass#im simply not invested in any of these characters#when everyone died#like.#yeah that like sucks so hard#but you have to make me CARE about the CHARACTERS#'if you want me to feel bad that they died#i literally felt worse about that one random woman with the dead baby dying than i did about rubys family or fucking rose noble#or that kid genius unit is definitely violating some kind of labour code to employ#didnt even feel bad about kate she's a joke at this point#she hires every single side character its ridiculous#im pretty sure the 13 year old is not old enough to work in the uk btw#didnt feel bad about mel getting possessed by sutekh either lmao bc i knew nothing interesting would happen there#and i was right#idk if you kill Everyone in your story you should maybe make it actually have an emotional impact#im gonna finish my dw complaining in a few days and go rewatch the s10 finale#do yall remember when doctor who was good. i do
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