#like me too dude I cannot for the life of me NOT fidget

[cosmicdahlias]

Top Student

Ford Pines x Reader

MINORS DNI

Professor Pines has seemed a little down lately. You stop by his office with the intention of raising his spirits, as well as… other things.

tags: professor ford au, teacher/student relationship, oral, multiple orgasms, biting, fdom/msub, bondage, praise kink, p in v, creampie

okay confession this is inspired by a crush i had on a teacher in my senior year of high school, dude was a total nerd but in like a hot way. i literally applied myself so hard for him that i finished top of the class, still got the medal to prove it lmao. i’ve always had a thing for well read older men and that ain’t ever changing!!!

You stood outside the door to your Astronomy professor’s office. As of late Professor Pines had seemed less like himself, appearing to be not nearly as engaged in his lectures. He covered the material just fine, but his passion for the subject matter just wasn’t there anymore. He always looked exhausted and worn out as well. Were it any other professor, you still would’ve cared, but there was an ulterior motive that led you to stand at his door. You gave a knock.

“Come in!” Professor Pine’s voice called from behind the door.

You opened it and took in the sight of his office. The room was softly lit by both a floor and desk lamp, giving the space a cozier feel than what overhead lighting could achieve. Well stocked bookshelves stretched to the ceiling and multiple PhD diplomas lined the walls, from what you’d heard he had accumulated at least twelve. His desk faced the window and a couch sat in the corner. You stepped into the room.

“Oh hello, y/n. What a pleasant surprise.” He said.

“Evening, professor.”

“Good evening to you too. Please, take a seat.”

You sat on the couch, it was almost far too nice for just an office. Professor Pines really went above and beyond to make sure his students were comfortable. He turned in his chair to face you.

“So, what can I do for you?” He asked.

“Well, to be blunt I’m a little worried.”

His brow furrowed in concern.

“I’m surprised to hear you say that. You’re doing incredibly well in my course. Don’t go spreading this around, but you’re top of the class. I promise you have little, if anything, to worry about.”

“No, I wasn’t talking about myself. I meant you, professor.”

He gave a confused chuckle.

“Forgive me, I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.”

You took a deep breath.

“You’ve just been so… sad lately. It’s subtle, but you seem distant during your lectures, like you’re just going through the motions. You look so exhausted too.”

Professor Pines fidgeted with his hands.

“I appreciate your concern, but I can assure you I’m doing just fine. I promise.”

You looked at him directly in the eyes.

“Professor…”

“I’m sorry, I really do value your worries, but the life of your professor isn’t something you need invest yourself in. You’re incredibly sweet, but seriously I’m fine.”

“I know depression when I see it, I wouldn’t be a good student if I didn’t care.”

He let out a long sigh.

“If I really cannot dissuade you, then alright. Just promise to keep this between us.”

“Of course.”

“Things haven’t been going well for me romantically. It seems to be one failed relationship after another. They start off great for a few weeks, or if I’m lucky maybe a month or so, but no one has seemed to enjoy my company long term. I’m not exactly romantically adept, so it’s more my own fault than them, but still I’m starting to lose hope of finding someone. I’m not getting any younger and at my age you become painfully aware of just how little time you have left in the grand scheme of things. It’s really starting to feel like loneliness might be it for me.“

“Oh, professor. I had my suspicions that it might’ve been something like this, but I’m so sorry.”

He gave a small, dejected smile.

“You know, I really thought I was doing my best to hide it. Foolish of me to assume that you, my top student, wouldn’t catch on with that intuition of yours. I apologize if it’s affected the quality of my teaching.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Oh goodness, no. You don’t need to do anything for me.”

“Are you sure?” You said, standing and coming close to him.

“Wh- what are you doing?”

“I suppose now is as good a time as any, but I’ve always found you attractive, Professor Pines.”

His cheeks turned a dusty pink.

“Um… I- ah- thank you. I’ve always thought you were incredibly attractive as well, but perhaps you shouldn’t be standing so close like that.”

You moved a hand to his chest, there was a slight firmness to it. You moved in closer, your lips brushing against his ear.

“I think I could benefit from some private instruction, don’t you?” You whispered.

His breath shuddered. You leaned down and kissed him, he moaned softly into your mouth before pulling away.

“N- no, this is wrong. I- we can’t do this. Look, you can sit back down and we can discuss anything pertaining to my class, or you can leave and I’ll see you for tomorrow’s lectu-“

You sat on his desk, spreading your legs and slowly pulling up your skirt.

“I know you want this as badly as I do.” You cooed.

“I can’t- oh dear god, you weren’t wearing anything underneath that skirt this whole time? Did you… plan this?”

“I just figured I could help out my favorite professor.”

You slipped a finger to your clit, Professor Pines watched intently.

“You’re so wet, is this because of me?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve touched myself to you.”

“I’ve seen a lot in my time, but someone as radiant and stunning as you with your hand between your thighs and dripping onto my desk for me is by far the least expected.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, professor. Do you know how many people would throw themselves at a silver fox like you?” You purred.

Professor Pines moved himself out of his chair to stand in front of you, he cupped your cheek, kissing you passionately.

“If your flattery is a means to get me on my knees for you, I’d say you’ve won me over.” He said as he sank to the floor, his face level with your pussy.

He allowed his hot breath to linger on you for a moment before dragging his tongue up your dripping lips.

“You taste so good, sweetheart.” He said, his mouth finding your clit as you tangled your fingers in his hair.

Despite claiming to be romantically inept, he certainly wasn’t at pleasuring his lover. You had no idea what his past partners didn’t see in him, he could be as awkward as humanly possible, but his looks and skilled tongue would keep you cuffed.

He stopped for a moment and looked at you.

“How does that feel?” He asked.

You stroked his cheek.

“You’re so good for me.” You praised.

Your praise seemed to invigorate him, he returned his mouth and tongue to your clit, lapping at you furiously.

You felt yourself growing close and you tightened your grip on his hair. You moaned loudly as you came, bucking yourself against his face. He held your hips steady, keeping his mouth on you and making you cum again in record time. He refused to stop, not even allowing you to catch your breath before making you cum again and again until you lost count. Your ears rang by the time he removed his mouth.

“Holy fuuuuuck. You’re incredible, Professor Pines.” You panted, your final orgasm subsiding.

“Please, just call me Ford. After making you cum on my tongue that many times I think we’re past the need for formalities.” He said as he stood to kiss you.

“Well then Ford, how about we move this to the couch?” You said as your hearing fully returned to normal.

“But of course, sweetheart.”

He picked you up underneath your thighs and sat on the couch with you straddling his lap. You felt his hard cock press against you through his pants as you kissed him passionately, pulling down the turtleneck of his maroon sweater. You were about to bite his neck when you noticed a cartoonish tattoo of a smiling star giving a double thumbs up with the words “Hey now, I’m an all star.” You failed to stifle a laugh.

“What is it?” Ford asked.

“Nothing.”

You bit down on him, he gasped.

“Oh god, no one has ever done this to me before. People my age aren’t nearly as adventurous.” Ford whimpered.

You laughed again.

“You think that’s adventurous? Let me ask you something, have you ever been dominated before?”

He blushed hard.

“I- no, never. My partners have always preferred I take the dominant role.”

You kissed him deeply, biting his lower lip as you pulled away.

“I’m about to blow your mind, Stanford Pines. Now lie back.”

He followed your command, shifting himself to lay on the couch with you still on top of him.

“You ever had someone tie you up before?” You asked.

He looked away, embarrassed.

“…Not in a sexual way.” He mumbled.

You raised an eyebrow.

“Just what were you doing before you became a college professor?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Guess I’ll just have to fuck the information out of you.” You teased.

“You drive a hard bargain, my dear.”

You unbuckled his belt, pulling it free from his pants. You pinned his arms above his head, looping the belt around his wrists and fashioning it into handcuffs.

“How’s that, not too tight?” You asked.

“No, it feels snug.”

“Good.”

You let your hands travel to his pants, unzipping them and pulling out his cock.

“Goddamn, your previous partners are idiots. Who would pass up a cock like this?” You said, giving him a few strokes.

“Mmmnn, your hand feels so good.”

“I think I know something that’ll feel even better.”

You moved yourself to hover over his cock, slowly sinking down his length. He throbbed as you reached the base of his shaft. You looked down at him and smirked, staying still.

“Y- you can’t just sit there with my cock inside you and not move. Don’t tease me like this.” Ford whimpered.

“I need to hear you tell me how much you want this.”

“Please, I need you.” He said as he frantically attempted to buck his hips.

You pulled yourself off of him.

“No no no, please no, you can’t stop now.” He whined pitifully.

You cupped his chin, your thumb stroking his lips.

“You have to beg. Tell me just how badly you need your top student to fuck you.” You commanded.

“Oh god, please y/n. I need you. I fucking NEED you. Ever since that first day you walked into my class I’ve desired you so intensely. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to stroke myself because I lay awake at night thinking of you. I’ve even touched myself in the lecture hall between classes after seeing you sit in the front row in those little skirts, crossing and uncrossing your legs, your panties just barely visible. I’ve never longed for someone the way I have for you. Please fuck me, I can’t take much more of this.”

“Ugh you’re adorable when you beg, music to my ears.”

You took his full length back inside you, he let out a loud gasping moan as you began to lift and drop your hips.

“Thank you, dear Moses thank you. You feel so good, s- so warm and tight.” He shuddered.

You slipped your hands under his sweater to his nipples, pinching and tugging them. He was a mess of moans and whimpers.

“You like that, smart guy?” You purred.

He looked up at you in surprise.

“Did I say something?” You asked.

“No, I just- it’s funny, you’re not the first person to call me that, but I like it far better coming from you than I did him.”

“That’s my good boy.” You purred.

You felt him throb hard inside you.

“Nnngh, no one has ever said that to me before. Your praise alone could make a man cum.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.”

You gripped his shoulders, moving your hips to fully slide him out and back in over and over. Your name left his lips with a moan and he looked up at you, eyes full of pure lust.

“Oh god, just like that. Don’t stop, don’t ever stop.” He whined.

“So needy, you’re doing such a good job for me.”

You felt him throb repeatedly as his moans and whimpers increased in volume and prevalence.

“I’m so close, m- may I cum in you? I need to know what it’s like to fill you with my seed. Please, y/n.” Ford begged.

“Very good, handsome. I didn’t even have to tell you to beg. That alone deserves to be rewarded.”

You picked up your speed and felt the pulse of his cock one final time as he came deep inside you. He bucked his hips, trying his hardest to go as far in you as he could.

“Y- you’re s- s- so incredible.” He stuttered.

“And you make for one hell of a ride, handsome.” You purred, stroking his cheek.

You pulled yourself off of him and he looked down, his and your cum had completely stained the front of his pants.

“Oh god, we’ve made a mess.” He said, putting his hand to his forehead.

You giggled at the sight of him.

“Don’t laugh, you’re wearing a skirt, you can get away with it.” He groaned.

“Sorry, I just like the idea of leaving you with a little reminder of myself.”

Ford took your hand.

“You really are amazing, sweetheart. No one has ever come close to feeling like you.” He whispered.

“Yeah? How would you like to do this again sometime?”

“R- really?” He asked.

“Oh without question.”

“Then by all means, feel free to stop by tomorrow. Perhaps you could let me see you sans clothes next time.”

“Good boy, sounds like a plan.” You said, leaning down to kiss him.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Lmfao N says fuck fic how original

[SNAP]

"So, N..." Uzi sits down on her Spinny Chair Of Genius™, as she likes to call it, as N sits on a beanbag. "Since i am your new apparent admin, this means i have some form of control over you and V, yeah?"

"I guess?" N shrugs "I mean- i don't know, i'm not the human that made me, i don't know my inner workings..."

He suddenly has a small thought start to grow in his head, and immediately lets it slip out of curiosity. "Wh- what are you trying to do?? Are you gonna look through my settings..?" He scratches his head in a bashful manner, blushy as it's literally some very delicate and probably private stuff.

Uzi grins like the absolute gremlin she is, sharp teeth shining like the blade of a knife, as she fidgets with her fingers at the most chaotic thought she's had so far. Key word being: so far.

"I'm just gonna make a test, nothing harmful~" She giggles. N looks at Uzi with a metaphorical drop of sweat running down his visor as he thinks of the times Cyn giggled back in the mansion. She definetly made giggles way less scary than Uzi's.

Next day...

It started with Uzi's alarm going off. She slaps her own visor, turning it off, and promptly gets up. N seems to be deep in his sleep... Wonder what he's dreaming about? She kinda hopes it's her, but it's not something she'll reveal to any one schmuck at ALL, so thank me later.

i don't want to kill you. i don't want to kill anymore. i need you. don't go. don't leave me. please. i don't want to kill you. the universe is at risk. i can't lose more people in my life. i have to protect the universe. but you are my universe. please. no. don't go. please. i love you. i'm sorry.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDDISASSEMBLYREQUIREDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

M1S5 M3? :)

"N!!" He wakes up screaming, startling Uzi who's sitting conviniently really close and in front of him. On top of his lap. Like in those bits in movies where the love interest is uncomfortably close to the main character. Like that. Yeah.

"Hi Uziii...??" N whispers in bashful surprise as she processes the situation. Okay so i'm sitting here right in front of him and he just woke up and sat up really close to my face it's looking like something else is gonna happen and oh my robo-god i am going to fuckin' pass out hhhhh-

"aaaaaooOKAYWEGOTTAGOORELSEWERELATETOTHEFUCKINGSCHOOLSHITAAAA" N yelps Uzi pushes him away by the face in a rush. N gets back up to yell (but like- not angry or anything, more like yelling so she hears him clearly) "Language! Your dad's around, you know?? It's why i say"biscuits" instead, i don't wanna be rude!". It's a long pause of silence as he thinks, realizing... "How can you even swear at all by the way???"

It started with a horrible, terrifying, traumatic, very lore heavy nightmare along with a scare and rush to school. This day is certainly not gonna go all too well and i am here for it he's boutta SNAP lol.

Next it was Lizzy doing her usual popular girl spoiled brat bullshit, and N cannot kill her because murder as a whole is wrong and it's no solution to anything at all. Uzi knows this and it bothers her so much more than i can describe.

Next was the teacher being this smug idiot doing whatever, giving the class a dumb thing to do without caring about anything, only looking through his phone either busy with other work or straight up messing around. Uzi and N are very much bothered by this and Uzi wants to speak up... Which she does. To no avail, as the teacher ran out of fucks to give. N just tolerates and tries to lighten up the mood by being his friendly self (got a dude and a chick head over heels for him and he doesn't realize, thinks they're just extra friendly), but it's mostly very little effect. All because he doesn't wanna be rude. It's gonna get real soon enough though.

Next was the discrimation towards N, as he is a Disassembly Drone and they're pretty scared of him... Well at least it's not ALL of them, some are very much enjoying his presence. Why that is i'll tell you in the dms because i don't think i can say it here lmfao.

Next was the teasing. Yes some drones in the school figured out the whole Nuzi shebang and are now teasing them about it. "Hey purple girl, how's the biting like?", "How does your murder buddy kiss? I'm just curious~", "How's it like living with a small girl like her? Bet she likes it when you pick her up~", "N you are so much better than her, there's that other murderous girl out there that killed Doll's parents, she seems right up your ally!", and it just doesn't stop. Ever. N is genuinely bothered by this, he's very uncomfortable.

Inconvience after inconvience, minor and major, impactful and not, it just doesn't friggin' STOP.

Luckily that's all there is, they're going home! Albeit not very happy but they're going to their comfortable space of a home nonetheless!

But i did say he's gonna snap at some point.

"Uzi, have you seen my glasses? I gotta read something important" Says Khan, not actually needing glasses as he's a robot, he can see just fine, but everyone in Copper 9 is all mimicking humans so Khan doesn't realize that and needs glasses anyway.

"I'm getting them, Mr. Uzi!" N chirps, happy to help like all the time, as he jumps up from his seat and walks around, looking for Khan's glasses. "Thanks, Uzi's very lucky to have you as this potential boyfriend!" Uzi lets out a very UNHOLY screech of embarrassment as she yells "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND". N does sigh at this, but he's too busy looking for Khan's glasses to care.

"Ooh! There you are!" N whips out a pair of glasses from inside... Uzi's wardrobe?? Does she prank him often??? Anywho, he found the glasses!

"I got 'em Mr. Uzi!! I found them in Uzi's wardrobe which is very weird and raises a few questions but i found them nonetheless!!" Khan processes the statement and wheezes as a response.

"What? What's funny??" N is very confused. Khan chuckles as he pats N in the back, "What just happened while i was sleeping was that Uzi just hid them away as a prank of sorts, she's very mischievous!" He's giggling as he explains, and so does N because come on it's funny how could he not?

Oh and N drops the glasses in his giggle fit. Resulting in them breaking upon landing. They stop laughing as they notice this.

N's eye twitches as his hands vibrate.

"N it's okay, i'll just get new ones-" says Khan, immediately interrupted by the next paragraph under this one

"MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

Khan is startled and frozen up in shock. Uzi heard that from the other room and is also shocked. If there were birds in Copper 9 they would fly away in flocks.

"Are you- are you okay-" Khan's interrupted again. "NO I'M NOT OKAY SHIT JUST KEPT HAPPENING AND I'M FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THAT AND BECAUSE I COULDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SON OF A BITCH THEY KEPT ON TEASING ME AND BEING WEIRD AROUND ME AND OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY CAN'T I JUST BE TREATED LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING DRONE?!?!?!"

Khan is frozen in shock as Uzi silently giggles to herself from the other room. "It worked! I turned off his filter holy shit it worked eheheheheee!"

"I'M... I'm going outside for a breather, be right fuckin' back" N storms out through the front entrance, as Khan holds a hand out trying to stop him, "it's sunny outside, careful-" but it was too late.

"FUUCK!!" And so N storms right back in, with burns on his casing, "I'm going to Uzi's room then"

"I DID IT!!" Uzi whisper-yells to herself. Somehow.

Twas a very loud and messy day, hope you enjoyed this lmao

[mythicalshipping]

*deep breath* 

Y’ALL.

Okay, so I’d seen the cuddling videos and wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one...

...excuse me, their WHAT now?

This feels like a fic prompt. Like the writers just...browsed Rhink Tumblr for an idea that Wouldn’t Go Too Far. 

Rhett was just demonstrating, but Link couldn’t help himself and was like “ME FIRST!” 

Dude, you’re not covering your a** at all with this, but nice try. 

WHY DOES LINK HAVE THIS DREAMY-EYED ~*MY HEART STOPS WHEN HE SAYS MY NAME~* LOOK IN HIS EYES LIKE??!? WE ARE BARELY INTO THE EP.

Is Link like, unable to hug people (or maybe just Rhett?) with his eyes open? If so, that is so adorable and I can’t deal with it, excuse me while I walk into the sea. 

Not Link’s hand pressing and Rhett’s chin pressing fOr ScIeNcE.

LINK’S ~*FACE~* IS JUST PURE BLISS (and I’m sure he wasn’t low-key thinking that if Rhett just tilted his head down a lil’ further, it’d be a forehead kiss). 

LINK LOCKING HIS HANDS LIKE THIS LIKE IT WAS THE 1800S AND HE WAS WONDERING WHEN RHETT WOULD RETURN FROM THE WAR.

Link couldn’t let go. ;-; PLS. HALP.

DAYUM just calling Link out; I wouldn’t have noticed, but now I cannot unthink about the locked hands ;-;

Link patted Noah because only Rhett has a key to his lock... ;-;

Charles Lincoln “Who’s jealous? I’m not jealous” Neal III

...

I watched this clip back and it DEFINITELY wasn’t...am I alone in this? 

Either way...someone is jelllyyyyyyy.

Maybe Link just wanted an excuse to talk about his Rick Rubin dream...science is still out on what exactly dreams meme but THIS is kinda telling, just sayin’... ;) 

RHETT’S FACE AFTERWARD, BY THE WAY

Not the mirrored stances ;-;

Link’s facial expressions through this entire episode look positively o*gasmic whenever he’s hugging Rhett. 

CHASE’S LIL FACE IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE HERE (and hey, I’d ship this ;) )

“You want to envelope me?” ;-; (And also, fun fact, if you are shorter than your partner, and they wanna be little spoon, just shift so that your head is resting slightly above theirs and wrap an arm around their waist). 

THIS IS SO TENDER I JUST ;-; And Rhett’s face is pressed up right against Link’s nealples. 

“DON’T WORRY” SHUT UP I AM CRYING ;-;

*UGLY SOBBING* OH MY FREAKING GOD

...Uh, okay...not where I was expecting this ep. to go but...

Stevie giving 11/10 commentary, and also can I just point out RHETT’S. FACE.

JEALOUSY, TURNING SAINTS INTO THE SEA

SWIMMING THROUGH SICK LULLABIES, CHOKING ON YOUR ALIBIS 

Yeah, real coherent response there Rhett. 

Rhett suggesting they just *actually* make out. As if he could handle the FEELS. I wish someone would have called his bluff. XD

Rhett is the Princess of Genovia, I don’t make the rules. (peach-worthy and I were totally on the same page with this one ;) ). 

So...what exactly do you want to feel from these hugs, Rhett?

HE JUST SAYS IT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT AND HE JUST GOES AND SAYS IT. 

Rhett low-key panicking.

:O WAIT

...You...YOU’RE GOING TO DEMONSTRATE THIS?!?!?

This screencap is unedited. Noah is all of us. (And okay okay, so they didn’t REALLY kiss obviously, but a girl can dream right?)

And so, it’s time for Stevie to reveal if leaning to the left when you hug someone is more romantic or platonic. And Link is just like “I’m just gonna put in a Superman pose and pretend that everything here is for science.” 

Link is fidgeting SO MUCH here.

Finally, a man of truth. ;) 

But is his guess correct?

Rhett and Link standing there just re-evaluating their entire lives.

CLEARLY THE SCIENE IS WRONG.

Rhett grasping onto this for dear life. 

Stevie...that is fanfic writing ma’am. 

Oh no. WhatEVER will they do? ;) 

He’s not wrong, but it’ll come back to haunt him a bit later. ;) 

Jessie is such a real one <3

Rhett beckoning Link for them to try the five second hug before pedaling tf BACK, in fear that he seems too eager. 

...for what? In case it goes on too long? XD

Link fighting the urge to lock his hands ;-;

Link truly is unable to hug Rhett without looking entirely blissful. Rhett patting Link’s back and counting out the pats to take away some of his own worry, but Link, even still, looks happy anyway. 

Noah is all of us looking on. 

NOT LINK ON HIS TIPPY TOES ;-; 

Link Neal and his PROJECTION.

...you guys good there? lol

LINK SHUT UP THAT IS SO SWEET I CANNOT. ;-;

YEAH WE’LL DO THE 10 SECOND HUG. BUT UH, OBVIOUSLY, FOR SCIENCE, AND IT IS GONNA BE JUST *TERRIBLE.* SURE RHETT.

RHETT YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AFTERWARDS. ;-;

Not this mirroring...

YEAH WE’LL DO THE 10 SECOND HUG. BUT UH, OBVIOUSLY, FOR SCIENCE, AND IT IS GONNA BE JUST *TERRIBLE*, SO LESS SPICE IT UP WITH OUR OWN FANFIC?!?! HELLO?!?! EXCUSE ME?!?! (Omfg my stream of consciousness screenshotting self named this “you mean like your mission trip?” D:)

I think I’ve read this fic before...

IM SCREAMING?!!?!?!? THIS CANON DIVERGENCE?!?! RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!?!

OH GOD AND LINK TOOK THIS SO SERIOUSLY. NOT ONLY DID HE UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT, HE WENT FOR THE EXTRA CREDIT. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Noah’s face once again being all of ours. 

*UGLY SOBBING* LINK PLS.

RHETT AND NOW YOU SAY THIS?!? LINK AT LEAST TRIED TO “DEFEND” Y’ALL, WITH THE MENTION OF “THE CONVERSATION” HELPING. 

STEVIE HAS BEEN TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN SINCE DAY 1, I GUARANTEE IT. 

This is their suggestion and I JUST...pls I need (another?) Mythical OT4 beach ep. 

Link just SINKING into the hug. 

...WTF auto-generated closed captions?

THE EFFING NUZZLE I IRL SQUEAKED!!!!

Me trying to recover from this ep. 

Idk what part of the ep this was in, but I need a GMM London trip because of reasons. 

[honeybeewhereartthee]

IMAGINE, for some reason some random dude think kidnapping you could land them some money or the fact they are inspiring murderer wanna be.

Spoiler: they are so bad on their job.

Your treated like a guest than a captive as they give you some food as well drinks while being under their kin (fidgeting and nervous) eyes. Through he did wear a face cover so he won't get recognize.

MC: I'm not to judge you but I can't really eat this cake if my hands are tied. Can you at least untie one.

You say while pointing at the very taste cake they offer to you.

???: Ooh! Ok... Here you go..

he fidgeting did one the knot he tied like a proper scout on your right hand.

MC: nom nom. Finally peace.

You mumble not caring you been kidnapped or more like be murdered in a few hours. But you been overwork for a while now, this kind of break is odd bit it's a break at least.

???:... Y-you aren't trying to escape?

You look at the kidnapper of yours.

MC: it's very normal to be kidnap at my place.

???: Kidnapping isn't normal, right...?

You could how many times kidnapping happen at your school and work.

???: Wait... What are you c-counting?

MC: the amount of times this kind of thing happen.

Your kidnapper stared at you, as if shock about the fact it's more than the abnormal times.

MC: lucky you. I'm quite close to the kidnappers!

???: What.

MC: for the cake, I shall teach you how to properly kidnapped someone--me edition. First never call the one called MAMA or answer the call from MAMA.

???: You don't want to worry your mother ?

You stared at them.

MC: it's more of your life in the line if you did answer and told MAMA about this.

???:... What.

MC:... I cannot break it to you in a nice way.... Just don't do it. Actually if you call anyone in my phone it's better to throw it away because your fate is sealed.

???: I actually sold your phone.

You cannot believe he thought of that.

MC: noice. That's leads to you being alive after this is much higher chances then.

???: Errm... What, that sound ... Concerning.

MC: I mean, you made a bad mistake... Well we can still fix that... So did you remove the trackers.

???: What, why do you have a trackers on you... Wait did you say with emphasis of more than one?!

You chuckle at their reaction.

MC: I'm not sure but I kinda sense that person put a chip on me...

You stared at the empty cake as if debating about your life choices.

MC: and I live with it because it's not like it would kill me...

???: I think that's not very normal relationship....

MC: your not wrong. But his good looking so he get a pass.

???: Your logic would probably kill you one day... and your probably happy about it too.

MC: wow your probably good on future sight then. Because I'm sure of that too 😂 anyway... You seems sane to talk too. Why did you enter such path buddy?

???: ... I don't know what to do. I tried many good deeds but it all end up as a failure and mistake. Might as well be a bad guy. I get fired because of endless misunderstanding... I'm no good for everyone... They hate what I look too.

MC:... Ah.... That sound so tragic... Anyway how good are you in self defense and combat?

???: I trained before... I was almost black belt but I quit.

MC: wow!! You could survive then. What about academic ? Can you do some paper work? Can you cook?

???: I am in and out of achievers in my school before, I also work in a cafe before as a chief.... Why are you asking this...

MC: you seem fine. I'm trying to see how to save you since I don't sense malice on you. So how about working for me? I get paid enough to hire you to assist me.

???: W-what... Really?!

MC: that's right! Anyway, my name is MC--

*background music: EYE starts playing

MC:... Did you hear that.

???: Hear what.

You start to look around as you can hear the music and singing getting louder.

MC: HOLY SHI-- we need to leave....!

You quickly remove your binding on both your legs and hand and hold the unfortunate soul as you already realize who is here.

???: W-why are we running away.

You dragged him to a Cabinet with you. You cover his mouth.

MC: shh don't speak.

Soon you could hear the door slamming open.

Madara: my child ~~~ mama is here!!

Kohaku: Madara-han can ya please not call MC han like that out in da public..

Madara: my, my. This isn't public. This is a future murderer home.... That would sadly perish before being one. :)

Kohaku sigh as if he can never make sense out of his unit mate mind.

Kohaku: let's just get this over with. Shall I do the killing? I always wanted to do it.

The person your holding suddenly froze. Your sweating like crazy. You both feeling dread as foot step approach your direction. Almost felt your heartbeat stop the moment you realize someone stood in front of the door. You swear you forget how to breath but the person outside the door move away which made you both sigh in relief--

"FOUND YOU!"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA/AHHHHHH!!!" You both unconsciously screams like bloody murder as Madara open the closet door after fooling you two, to think he left when his not.

You both then faint at the spot, as you cannot carry the scare you both taken just now.

"Madara-han, do you really have to do that?" Kohaku who was been signal by Madara earlier to shut up, sigh as Madara come out of the closet carrying your unconscious form.

"Well, mama have to scare my child to make sure they won't go taking some kidnapper in as an assistant the next time around." Not only did he put a chip on you, he also put a listening device on you. He walk to the door as kohaku grab the kidnapper of yours who also fainted, he put them over his shoulder like a sock of potato.

"Ah... Your going to let this dude live?" Kohaku suddenly become disappointed.

"For now." Madara smile.

"Mama save the day again." He kiss your forehead as he carefully put you to the car to bring back to your home, so you could sleep peacefully and tommorow his gonna tell you basic stuff you shouldn't do when kidnapped. Like don't befriend the kidnapper, unless it's him. :)

[mageofseven]

are requests open? how would the brothers (or undateables) react to MC giving them a bouquet of flowers because they want to show their partner they care?

Ooo okay cute! I think I'd add another layer to this and use flower language so each bouquet has a cute meaning~

This will be for just the Brothers, but I will have another post out for the Undateables' version ����

~

Lucifer:

Gives him a bouquet of red carnations (symbolising love, pride, and admiration) and Peonies (symbolising happy life, happy marriage, good health, and prosperity).

The oldest was in his study, sighing over the stack of paperwork he had been trying to dwindle down all morning.

Their boyfriend has been so busy and stressed lately; the human simply wanted to help ease things for him, but in a new and meaningful way.

At first, the demon didn't didn't even acknowledge when MC stepped in, but when they approached his desk and started rocking on their feet nervously, the man sighed once more and looked up at them.

"I'm sorry, Love. What is it?"

"Okay so...I did a thing..." They mumbled before revealing the bouquet from behind their back.

The Avatar of Pride raised an eyebrow before letting a soft smile spread across his face.

"They are very beautiful. However, I don't recall there being any occasion for them."

"There is though!" MC insisted. "These flowers represent a message for you!"

Lucifer took the human's wrist and guided them around the desk and onto his lap. Arms around them, the demon stared down at the bouquet.

"I see." He kissed their neck. "Well, I'm afraid I am not caught up on my flower language so I'll be relying on your interpretation."

The human blushed and could feel the man's low chuckle from behind them.

"If you truly have a message for me, Love, now is the time to say it."

"I..." MC hid their face in the flowers and mumbled a little. "The red carnations are for love and admiration...I love you so much and I admire how hard you work...but the peonies are for a happy life and good health. I...want you to take better care of yourself."

"I take it you're worried for me?"

"Luce...you didn't come to bed last night and you were in here all day yesterday. Of course, I'm worried--and don't say you can handle this because even so, stress and lack of sleep are not good for you."

The man let out a long sigh before adjusting the human in his arms and rising from his seat.

"L-Luce?"

"If what you need from me is some rest then so be it."

Wouldn't usually give in so easily, but his Love put so much thought into expressing their worry so it would be wrong to simply dismiss them.

Mammon:

Gives him a bouquet of Alstromeria (symbol of wealth, prosperity, and fortune, as well as a flower of friendship) and Sweet Peas (symbolic of departure after having a good time).

It was the night before MC was being sent back to the Human realm. They knocked on his bedroom door and the second brother let them in, eyeing the flowers with a red face.

"W-What are those for??"

"For you." MC smiled. "It's...ya know since I'm leaving tomorrow. It's a thank-you."

Mammon grinned, trying to act confident.

"Well of course you got these for me! You got a lot to thank me for looking out for ya, now dontcha?"

"I really do." MC handed them to the demon. "There's a meaning to my flower choices though. Alstromeria is to wish you luck in money matters and express how much your friendship has meant to me. The sweet peas...to say that I had a lot of fun with you this school year."

The second brother went silent. I mean, what was he supposed to say after hearing that they put so much thought into giving him freaking flowers.

"Just...thank you for everything, Mammon. Really." MC leaned in and kissed his cheek before turning to the door.

The man's brain was short circuiting from the kiss, but still managed to push through the flustered-ness to call out.

"Oil! Wait a second 'ere!"

MC looked over their shoulder, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah?"

The words died in his mouth. This was his last chance to tell them how he felt...but he wonder if there was any point in it anymore? I mean, they leave tomorrow...

Despite still having the urge to say something, the man lowered his head and waved off the human.

"Eh, forget. Go to bed or something. I have things to do."

And then they left, just as he told them.

Now he's left wondering if he should of spoken up or not he should have.

Leviathan:

Gives him a bouquet of Hydrangeas (symbolising heartfelt emotions and used to express gratitude of being understood) and Anemone (which has a positive meaning of anticipation).

It was a couple days before MC had to return to the Human realm.

The two were hanging out like it was any other day though. Levi was immersed in his game, so much so that he didn't notice when MC left the room and came back with the bouquet.

"Levi, pause the game."

"Dude, it's an online match--"

Their boyfriend dropped the controller when he saw the flowers. His face went red as he just ceased to function.

"Levi?"

"W-W-What the hell are those?!"

"Flowers?"

"W-Well duh" He stammered out. "But why are they in my room?"

Because surely, surely they were not for him. I mean, why would the human be giving flowers to a stinky otaku like himself?

"They're for you."

Error. Blue screen. Levi.exe has stopped working. Please reset your Levi and--

"I...look." MC continued. "The hydrangeas represent...well, just how I appreciate the fact that I can be open with you. I feel like you're the only person who truly gets me...not just here in the Devildom, but even compared to those in the Human realm. The anemone...well, it has different meanings, but I'm using it to show that...I can't wait to find my way back to you."

The human was now blushing though not as much as the demon in front of them.

"Basically...I wanna say that I'm glad I'm your Henry and I'll always look forward to finding my way back to you...Levi?"

The man was tearing up.

"Sh-Shut up, Normie...I'm not crying..."

MC laughed and leaned in to kiss their boyfriend.

Yeah...they're happy to be his Henry 💕

Satan:

Gives him a bouquet of Purple Irises (symbolising eloquence, wisdom, and compliments) and Tulips (signifies a declaration of love and symbolizes perfect love).

Met the fourth brother in the library for their weekly study session.

Satan has been helping MC with some of their harder classes and in turn, the two had been spending a lot more time together

Which made it only too easy for the human to fall for him.

"Satan?"

The blonde looked up from the textbook he was skimming through in search of the correct page and raised an eyebrow as he saw MC standing before him, fidgeting in place and head down while hiding something behind their back.

"Is there something you need help with?"

"N-No...I..." The Human bit their lip. "Um...do you know anything about flower language?"

"Floriography? I suppose I know a fair amount." The demon watched them closely. "Do you have any questions based on the language?"

"No, I mean--" MC quickly shoved the bouquet in his face, their own face glowing a bright red. "Please accept these..."

The blonde took the flowers in confusion, staring down at them. Once he identified the flowers in the bouquet, a blush swept across his face, but was quickly replaced by a grin.

"Well now, why don't you tell me what these flowers mean to you?"

"D-Don't you know what they mean already?"

"I'd rather hear it from your lips, Kitten."

The human covered their face when they heard the new nickname.

"Kitten, I cannot accept these if you won't tell me their meaning."

MC lowered their hands.

"I...they..." The human mumbled. "The purple irises are to...well, thank you for your help and show that I really...really admire how knowledgeable you are. And...a-and the tulips..."

"And what about the tulips?"

"Please stop teasing me..."

The blonde chuckled before setting the bouquet on the table next to them and pulling MC close.

"Alright then. My answer is that I feel the same way, Kitten."

"Really?!"

The demon goes to fetch a vase for the flowers to sit on the table with them as they study.

Asmodeus:

Gives him of a bouquet of White Lilies (symbolising modesty and virginity), Aster (symbolising patience), purple lilac (symbolising first love), and Anemone (which mainly has negative symbolism to it, but can also be used to to symbolize anticipation in a positive interpretation).

The Avatar of Lust went to his room to change out of his school uniform and found the human sitting on his bed with the bouquet.

"Aww, Doll!"

The man rush over and squeeze the human in an embrace, carefully of the flowers.

"Oh you're so sweet! Getting me flowers like this!"

MC hid their face in their boyfriend's shoulder.

"Azzy...I have something to say."

"Okay~ what is it?"

MC pulled back and stared down at the flowers.

"I...do you know anything about Floriography?"

"Flower language? Oh, Doll, who do you think you're talking to? Of course~."

"Well...I used that for this bouquet."

"Ooo okay." The man gently took the bouquet from them. "Let's see then~ I see Lilies and Asters. Oh! A couple lilacs-- I love you two, Dolly."

He leaned in and kissed them.

"Oh and--" The smile that had been on his face suddenly fell when he spotted the anemone. "Dolly...is something wrong?"

The human started tugging on their sleeves.

"I'm sorry..."

"Hey...come here."

The demon laid the bouquet on the bed and pulled MC back into his arms. Face buried back into his shoulder, the man stroked his human's hair.

"It's okay. You know you can talk to me, right?"

MC didn't speak at first, just let their boyfriend's gentle comfort calm them for a bit.

"I...I'm sorry." They mumbled again. "I've probably just been overthinking. I just...it wouldn't leave my mind so even though it's hard to say, I knew I needed to talk about it and I thought it'd be easier with the flowers..."

"It's okay, Dolly. Take your time; I'm right here."

The demon kissed the top of the human's head.

"I just...you've been really good about not pushing me into...ya know...that next step. And I really appreciate it and everything because I've never done anything like that before. You're the first person I've ever dated, the first person I've ever fallen in love with...you've been my first date, my first kiss...and I want you to have my next first, but I'm still anxious about it. I feel bad though; I feel like I'm disappointing you since you're the Avatar of Lust and I just--"

"Oh Honey no!" The man didn't mean to interrupt them; he simply couldn't hold his words in anymore. "It's not like that at all. I'm with you for you, not your body. I can wait as long as you need me to."

He pulled away so he could look them in the eyes.

"I'm not going to be disappointed because you're not ready. We can wait as long as you need, okay?"

"Are...are you sure?"

"Of course, Doll. I don't want you to feel pressured into it. When we take that next step, I want it to be just beautiful and memorable for you as it will be for me and not something you feel obligated to do, okay?"

The Avatar of Lust finds a vase for the flowers and sets them on his vanity before cuddling up with the human in bed, keeping them close and murmuring sweet compliments and praises in their ear.

Asmo can wait. As long as he can hold his Dolly close and love them with all of his heart, he could wait a million years for them if that's what they needed.

Beelzebub:

Gives him a bouquet of Sunflowers (symbolising adoration, dedication, and dedicated love) and Peonies (symbolic of bashfulness, but also a happy life, happy marriage, and prosperity).

MC was too excited to give it to him so they waited outside of House of Lamentation for him to come back from practice.

"Beel! Beely come look!"

The redhead smiled at their Muffin and quickened his steps until he was right next to them.

"Here~." MC proudly presented the bouquet to him.

"It's very pretty. Thank you." Beel took the bouquet before leaning down and kissing the human.

"It's more than a bouquet though! It has symbolic meaning."

The demon raised.

"What's it mean then?"

MC blushed a bit before diverting their gaze from their boyfriend--or rather their fiancé since his proposed recently, hence why they made this bouquet for him.

"It's just...another way of saying I hope we'll always be happy together."

The big guys smiled before picking up his Muffin and kissing their forehead.

"I know we will, Muffin. Always."

Belphegor:

Gives him a bouquet of Statices (symbolizes remembrance and sympathy) and Red Roses (symbolising a deep love).

Sleepy boy woke up so confused when he found the flower basically shoved in his face.

"...What the hell am I looking at?"

"Flowers."

"No duh, Butthead." He pushed the flowers away, looking up at his Human. "I mean, why do you have them?"

"They're for you."

The man sighed.

"Fine..." He took the bouquet and set it on the other side of the bed before pulling MC down to him so they could lay together.

"Belphie, there's a point to them; they have meaning."

The man's eyes were already closed, ready to go back to sleep.

"Yeah? What?"

Silence. Avatar of Sloth cracked open an eye and saw his Human's expression weighed down with sadness.

"What's wrong?" Both eyes opened, he tightened his hold on them.

"It's...it's my way asking you to let it go."

Now it was the demon's turn to go silent.

Since the Incident™️, Belphie's been extra protective of them, but simultaneously really distant and harsh? It's been a back and forth sort of thing and even when they started dating, the trend stayed.

MC knew that he was just afraid of hurting them again. Sometimes he felt that keeping them close was for the best and others, he felt like pushing them away was. This back and forth was all because of the guilt that he carried.

Nervous, the human continued.

"The roses represent how much I love you and the statices...to show that even though I have not forgotten, I understand why you did it and I'm not upset. I forgave you instantly because I knew the pain you were in. I just...now I need you to forgive yourself, Belphie."

The demon buried his face in their neck.

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Oh...I'm sorry."

Belphie pulled back and gave the human a small kiss.

"Don't apologize for everything." He kissed them again. "You didn't do anything wrong."

It will take a lot more than a bouquet to make their boyfriend's guilt disappear, but the love and care behind it...the demon felt it, even if he didn't say it out loud.

[lifebeginsbyleaving]

Welcome To The Jungle

Stiles nearly fell out of his chair laughing. He shoved Danny's shoulder hard enough to make both of their computer chairs spin.

"It's true!"

Stiles wiped tears and replied, "Oh my god I cannot believe that!"

Danny held up a hand. "On my mother's butter mochi recipe, Coach and Greenburg walking out of the cinema hand in hand."

Stiles let out another disbelieving bark of laughter. "How the times have changed- Unless..." Stiles squinted at Danny. "You don't think they- while school- you know back then?"

Danny shook his head. "Dude, Coach is so against that. He would never. I called Jackson immediately and apparently Greenburg started one of Coach's courses he does at the college. I don't know man, love must've blossomed."

Stiles still looked bewildered. "Yeah, but Greenberg? I always though the Coach hated him."

Danny shrugged. "Maybe it was in a 'You're so hot, but you're my student so I'm going to hate you.' kind of way." He instantly wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Although, I have a hard time seeing anyone think of Greenburg as hot."

Stiles thought for a moment. "Well-"

Danny swiveled his chair. "Oh no. No! Stiles, I know we haven't always been the closest, but now I consider you a friend. If you have been so deprived of dick lately that you are thinking of Greenburg as cute, in any way, I have failed."

Stiles put his hands up. "I'm just saying th-"

"No! You stop that immediately! That's it. I'm taking you to the jungle next Thursday night. No more lame excuses or pack emergencies that Lydia says didn't actually happen. Next Thursday. Nine o'clock, don't be late. And I swear to God if you don't wear those tight black pants I will force you into an outfit of my choosing."

"Danny you know I-"

"No. Lydia tells me all about how you won't let her set you up on dates, because dating isn't your thing. Which I know is a lie. So casual sex it is. I know you like sex, good God you won't shut up about it, so stop. I can barely stand your sexual frustration anymore. We have to work on patching the bestiary mainframe for at least two more weeks, so I'm not dealing with your huffing and short fuse every five seconds for that much longer. You're so god damn snippy. We're going to the jungle unless you can detail your last sexual encounter well enough for me to believe it wasn't months ago." Danny crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Stiles shifted in his seat. He couldn't go into great detail about his last sexual encounter to Danny, so instead he let out a sigh. "Fine, but I'm going just to appease you, and under no circumstances do I have to leave with someone."

Danny raised his hands, but he had a triumphant grin. "Hey that is entirely up to you. We'll go and see how the night takes us, or who takes us."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "There will be no taking. I'm going out to appease you. That's it."

Stiles' nerves went up seeing Danny's devilish grin. He knew that grin, that grin meant he would definitely try to set him up. It wasn't that he wasn't excited to go out, it was just Stiles hadn't been to a club since he got back to Beacon Hills after college. He'd been back for eight months and he'd rejected all attempts by the pack to set him up. If he left the jungle without someone on his arm Danny would know something was up, and it wasn't just him wanting to settle back in anymore.

Stiles was saddened when he found out no one from the pack was going to college near him. When Danny accepted Berkeley's offer he felt slightly better. Even if they weren't really close and not exactly pack it was good to have someone he knew going with him. The first year they barely talked at all. But right before the start of second year the nemeton started a shit fest and Danny needed a ride back. It was easier to go together, despite the painfully awkward first hour of the trip. Somewhere around hour three they found a groove and many things they had in common.

Stiles expected for things to go back to the way they were before once they got back, but Danny texted him with a time and the address of a club they had talked about. After that they went out to parties, studied, and were unexpected friends. Their third year they moved in together. Danny had been there through all his college relationships and hook ups, and for most of the best ones he had been the one to introduce them. Danny was good at knowing what people liked and how they would be together. He was the main reason Stiles got so many experiences, and mistakes, out of college. Stiles liked being around him. He made you feel like you were better than you actually were, that you could be more if you tried. Stiles could tell why him and Jackson had been such good friends. At first Jackson tried to insist Stiles kept his nerd cooties away from his best friend, but they could tell he was glad two of his pack members were taking care of each other.

At one point Stiles even confessed his high school crush to Danny. The asshole just said he knew and that every questioning boy had a crush on him. When Stiles asked him if he thought they would be good together Danny just shook his head. He told him he would date him, but he knew Stiles was the type you marry and he wasn't ready for that. Stiles had been awed and flattered by that and as soon as he asked, he knew they wouldn't ever go there. They were just friends. Some how that didn't bother him, it made him feel settled in the relationship they already had. Because it was good enough.

Stiles snapped back to attention looking at a talking Danny with a fond smile. "What?"

"You did that freaky zone out thing, didn't you? I swear one of these days you're going to walk in front of a bus. I said look hot and wear the cologne too."

Stiles gave a lazy salute and started to pack up. "Alright, I should head home soon. Dad will order pizza if I don't get there in time, and I don't want to have to wrestle a meat lovers out of his hands again. It was messy."

Danny nodded with a smile. "I'm busy tomorrow, but I'll see you Wednesday, and then Thursday."

"You got it."

---

"Dad I'm home." He rounded the corner to see his dad frozen with the phone in his hand.

"God damn it, I almost got it ordered in time. Tell Danny he needs to work you harder." He set the phone back down with a harsh look.

Stiles rolled his eyes as he set down his things. "We're just patching the bestiary, I don't actually work for him. I do have an actual job you know."

"So you're paying him for his help?"

Stiles shook his head. "He's helping out the pack. He said he would do it on his free time." He walked to the kitchen to start supper.

His dad leaned against the counter. "So is he in the pack? I thought you said he wasn't."

Stiles turned to look at his father after grabbing the chicken and veggies from the fridge. "Yes and no. Most of us consider him pack because he is to Jackson, but Danny hasn't accepted yet. He says he doesn't want the responsibility of it. He always shows up and helps when we need though." Stiles set up his knife and cutting board in silence.

"And what do you think?" The rhythmic sound of a sharp knife hitting a cutting board filled the kitchen until he was finished speaking.

Stiles looked down and started to move the board around. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you said, 'He says,' instead of saying something like he doesn't because of whatever. You think he says something, but what do you think he means? And why won't you look at me when you talk about it? Son, did something happen between you and Danny?" His dad had been really nosey and pushy lately. He supposed it was because he could tell Stiles was hiding something, but it was still annoying.

Stiles popped a slice of green pepper in his mouth and turned to his father with a contemplative look. He looked in his father's eyes for a moment.

He sighed after making up his mind. "Nothing happened between us. Danny doesn't join the pack because it's a commitment. It's basically a family. He doesn't want the weight of that. He also thinks the only ones that want him there are Jackson and I, which isn't true. He just gets freaked out by people being there all the time, always knowing everything about him. He feels like he might lose them at anytime. The more you love something the more it hurts once it's gone, you know?"

His father looked at him with sad eyes. "I know."

Stiles nodded. He bit his lip to hold in the question begging to slip out.

"Why wouldn't you look at me before? I know it wasn't just because of something with Danny. There's something going on with you lately."

Stiles couldn't hold it in any longer. "Do you ever regret loving mom?"

"Never." It was immediate and without hesitation.

Stiles fidgeted. "Yeah, but what if you knew you would find another wife and son you would love just as much as you love us. Would you want to save yourself the heartbreak of loving someone you lost?"

His father's eyes were glistening as he walked up to Stiles and pulled him into a hug. "I wouldn't trade you both for anything. That I promise you kid. Never." He kissed the top of Stiles' head. "Never, ever. You're my boy, and she was the love of my life."

Stiles nodded into his chest and gripped his shirt.

His father pulled back and looked at him assessing his face. "Why do you think you're loving someone you're going to lose Stiles?"

Stiles closed his eyes, but his tears fell anyway. "There's something I haven't told the pack, and I can't tell you yet either. And I need you to be okay with that. I shouldn't have even started to talk about it. You can't push okay?" He opened his eyes to look at his father pleadingly.

His father gripped his shoulders and looked at him sternly. "This is serious Stiles. The last time you didn't tell the pack or me about something, you had been assaulted on campus. You have to be straight with me here, no lying. Is this like that? Should we know?"

Stiles once again felt the guilt of keeping him getting beat up on campus from his family, but he knew they would've gone ballistic. Besides, he could and did handle a cocky omega. The only reason they knew now was because Danny let it slip to Jackson on break and Jackson came to him spitting mad in front of everyone. Jackson got in touch with some of his families friends within two hours. It was dealt with soon enough, but they still were angry at him for keeping it from them. Scott and Lydia felt betrayed and the rest of them seemed hurt, but Derek just stood there with his arms crossed looking like he was ready to murder Stiles.

But this wasn't like that. This wasn't him keeping something from them, this was him waiting to tell them. "I do plan on telling them, I just have to see how somethings work out first."

"Do you think they could work out in a way that hurts you?"

Stiles hesitated. "Yes. But if they do it would be better for everyone if they didn't know." He saw his father's confused face. "It would be easier for me to heal without them poking."

His dad sighed. "Kiddo I hope you know what you're getting into. Hell, I hope I'm doing the right thing by listening to you."

"It's always the right idea to listen to me pops." Stiles smiled and winked.

"I take it all back. Tell Scott right now. God, what was I thinking."

"Har har. And to think I was going to let you have full fat cheese with your rice tonight."

---

Stiles tried to stuff his hands into his jeans, but they were so tight his fingers barely went down. He pulled them out and stuck his arms out before letting them slap against his legs. He huffed and checked the door for him again. Danny was always either way early or a half hour late. Stiles decided to get a booth to wait out the next twenty minutes.

Stiles was sipping his half empty drink when someone slid into his booth and stole his attention. "Um sorry, this booth is taken."

The unfamiliar man gave him a charming smile. "Right, okay. I'll only be a minute." The man ducked his head and Stiles looked behind their booth to see who he was hiding from.

There was a loud redhead at the bar that immediately stuck out. She had a small gathering of laughing men around her.

Stiles turned back and the man was staring and smiling at him in a way he supposed was to be disarming. "So, did you run into an ex?"

The man scoffed. "Not on your life. It was that woman." He laughed and made a face like Stiles should immediately understand.

Stiles narrowed his eyes. "Was she rude?"

The man looked flabbergasted. "She's a woman, hitting on men." Stiles raised an eyebrow. "In here! In a gay bar! I went up to her to give her a piece of my mind, but those jerks stood up for the bitch."

Stiles got the full picture now and started to get angry, but kept his cool. "She could be bi. Also you know friends can come here too right? Like sometimes people just come here to have a good time."

He looked at Stiles like he was the one not understanding yet. "Yes, but she was flirting. With a guy."

Stiles took a breath in. "The guy could also be bi. Or it could've been her boyfriend. Or he is gay and as long as she backed off, big whoop."

The man scoffed. "If they are straight they shouldn't be here. And if they're bi, I don't see why they would be here looking for a hetero relationship. They can find that anywhere. I mean, you come to a gay bar for one thing."

Stiles couldn't take it any more. "Yeah. Acceptance. So if you're going to be an exclusionist asshole or a biphobe troll I think it's you who should leave. Anyone that respects other people has a right to be here without fear of rejection or judgement. Maybe they're bi, maybe they're straight, maybe one of them is trans or non-binary, maybe one of them is asexual. Maybe that or a ton of other things, but one thing they sure as hell are is none of your damn business! This is a safe place, and you can fuck right off if you're going to threaten that!"

The man got up, but still tried one final attempt. "Look, I just mean if there's so many of them invading our space, soon enough there won't be enough room for us." He spoke with stress on certain words.

Stiles gave him a sweet smile with murderous eyes. "There's always room for love. This isn't the Titanic jackass. And if you're referring to me in that, 'our' I'll have you know- I like tits too. And I'm too proud of it to allow a self centered prick like you to bully me into feeling bad about it. Have a nice day up on that high horse trampling all over the people that helped build this safe space you think is just yours. Yee-haw, ride your intersectional bigot ass right out of here!" Stiles was two seconds away from throwing his drink, but he thought that might be a bit much. He thought he got his point across well enough.

The man opened his mouth.

Stiles rolled his eyes. It appeared not.

Stiles tossed his drink right in his face as Danny came into view.

The man instantly began making a commotion.

Danny looked shocked. "Dude what the hell? Who is he?"

Stiles saw a bouncer looking inquisitively at them as he drew closer. The jungle had a strict no drink throwing and no bitch slapping policy. It upset the vibe and sales. Stiles apologized as loudly as he could, so he was heard by many people over the music. "Sorry. Biphobe. Thems the breaks. Sometimes you gotta toss a drink in an asshole's face for saying you don't belong here." The people around them instantly gave the soaked man dirty looks.

The tall bulky black man gripped the asshole's arm and started to pull him towards the door. He had an intimidating aura, but Stiles could tell there was kindness and understanding behind those completely unnecessary glasses for the dark club.

Stiles noticed a magenta, blue, and purple pin on the bouncers jacket. He gave a thumbs up. "I like your pin."

The bouncer just gave him a private smile. "I like your eyes."

Stiles gaped and looked to Danny. When he looked back the bouncer was gone as was the man.

Danny looked at him shocked. "Dude, Bubbles from Lilo and Stitch just flirted with you! No fair!"

Stiles calmed and fell into the conversation. "What do you mean no fair?"

Danny scoffed. "I do not, and do not picture myself having a daddy kink, but if I did it would be for one man, and Bubbles from Lilo and Stitch only."

Stiles tilted his head back and forth in tentative agreement. "I guess he does exude a vibe of protection."

---

They were enough drinks in that he was still in control, but his vigorous nodding made the room shift slightly. "His hands! You're absolutely right! I've been a fool!"

Danny laughed and pushed away his face. "You're loud."

Stiles stuck out his tongue.

Danny pushed his empty drink to the edge of the table. "Why aren't you trying to find someone to hook up with?"

Stiles was taken off guard more that he would've been sober. "What? What do you mean, I'm enjoying a night out with my boy."

Danny looked sympathetic. "Did ending that thing with Jason when we left college hurt you more than you thought it would?"

Stiles had to wrack his brain for a moment to think of who Jason was. "What? No. He was just a booty call. No feelings there."

Danny looked puzzled. "Then why?"

"Maybe I've had enough dating in college."

Danny scoffed and shook his head. "I introduced you to my friend Marcus who loves comics and puppies and is so your type. I pointed out a great fuck that you turned down, and we both know from college we don't mind sharing. I told you about a guy I've seen around a few nights that only talks to guys that look like you. You've shot them all down. You, Stiles Stilinski, who loves to date, to have sex, and just generally get to know new people. I've been keeping Lydia off your back, but now I want to know. What happened?"

Stiles started to sweat and he tried to come up with a lie that normally would already be off his lips. He tried to think of a way out, but couldn't find one.

The song switched right as he opened his mouth and Stiles thanked the gods. "This is our song! We haven't danced all night!"

Danny looked firm, but he cast a glance to the moving bodies. "Explanation after?" Danny was terrible at interrogation, he usually didn't care unless someone wanted to tell him.

Stiles nodded knowing full well Danny wouldn't leave the dance floor, without finding someone to leave with. "Let's dance."

In college Stiles had managed to figure out that songs had rhythms and had become quite the dancer. His hips moved sinfully and he knew where to put his hands now, but every once and awhile he would throw in a move that reminded Danny of just how far he had come.

They had separated several songs ago and found new partners. Stiles had danced with a lot of people, but never the same person twice and if they got too handsy he moved on. He was just there with his friend to have a good time. He was actually starting to have fun and enjoy the night without worrying.

He had pushed away some rather insistent wandering hands when Danny came up behind him to whisper into his ear, "There's this really creepy guy watching you."

"What?" Stiles' mind instantly raced. Was it a werewolf from a rival pack? Kanima? Witch? He pissed of an incubus one time. Scratch that, he's pissed of pretty much every supernatural being he's ever met at one point or another. He couldn't see through the moving crowd enough to catch any faces.

Danny leaned in and grabbed Stiles' hip so they didn't get separated on the dance floor. He repeated a little louder, but if he wasn't so close it would be lost to the loud music, "There's a creepy guy watching you. I think he'll go away if he thinks we're together."

Stiles heart had picked up and he leaned back into Danny's comforting embrace. "Okay." Stiles wondered if he should call someone, just in case it was a supernatural issue.

Danny turned him around, but kept glancing over Stiles' shoulder out of the crowd to look for the creep. "He's still staring. Grind on me."

They had done this so much in college to lure cute boys Stiles didn't even think twice. He tried to seem like Danny and him were together. They danced for a few verses.

Danny shook his head with worry. "Okay, he's clenching his fists now. I don't think it's working Stiles. I'm going to kiss you."

Stiles' eyes went wide. "Wait Danny I have a-"

Danny kissed him.

It was chaste, but still made his stomach roll. "Well, did it work?"

Danny was squinting his eyes, but they went wide with shock and something like fear. "Shit, no. He looks like he's going to murder me! Fuck, he just slammed his drink and is coming over here."

"What! Oh my God we have to call someone!" Stiles' voice was panicked. He could fight, but he was slightly tipsy and if Danny was worried, Stiles was. Besides, if he was supernatural Stiles didn't have a chance without something to defend himself with.

"Take my hand. We have to go closer to the bar." Danny laced their fingers together.

Stiles had just hit dial as a firm hand grabbed his arm not currently being dragged by Danny. Stiles let out a shriek. Before he could turn around to face the attacker he was pulled out of his grip by Danny and was now behind him.

"Leave him alone asshole!"

A phone started ringing.

The guy looked absolutely murderous. "I want to talk to Stiles."

"How do you know his name creep?!" Danny spat at him.

Stiles peered around Danny, "Wait... Derek?"

"Stiles do you know him?" Danny asked unsure, he looked at the semi familiar man and tried to place him.

"Yes he does." The man stated gruffly.

Stiles flushed with embarrassment. "He's my boyfriend."

Danny's face lit with recognition, then confusion again. "Cousin Miguel?"

"Derek." He spoke with that same cold, flat tone. Derek still looked terrifying as he reached into his pocket and answered his phone staring at Stiles.

Stiles lifted his own phone and spoke, "Um, hello?"

"You better have a really good explanation that takes less than five minutes, or I'm dumping you."

Danny looked at him with a shocked look. "I didn't buy that Miguel story for a second, but you're dating him? Wait Derek as in, alpha hottie Hale, Derek? You're dating the pack alpha?! Does the pack know? Well, that explains why Lydia couldn't set you up. Huh, I guess Issac wins the pot. He was the only one who thought you had someone else. Wait till Jackson hears he was wrong about you getting a girl pregnant."

Stiles' eyes went wide. "You can't tell them!"

Derek interjected with a blank face. "Yeah, especially since in about four and a half minutes he won't actually be dating me anymore."

Stiles turned to him frazzled. "Can you just stop for a moment!"

Danny had his phone out and went to unlock it, but Stiles batted his hands down.

Stiles huffed. "Look, everyone stop! I need to explain to both of you." He turned to Derek with a pleading look. "I have to talk to Danny real quick, but I promise you." Stiles' voice was filled with emotion and dripped with sincerity, "I promise you, nothing is going on with me and Danny and I can explain everything, but if I don't talk to him first, he will text Lydia while we're talking and you and I agreed we don't want that. He has had too much liquor to not know it is a bad idea, and not enough to be incoherent enough for Lydia to not believe him."

Derek looked deeply into his eyes and sighed. "You're lucky I know when you're lying."

Stiles let out a relieved breath and rested their foreheads together. "Thank God for heartbeats."

In the next second he was snatching Danny's phone and dragging him off to another side of the club.

Derek uselessly whispered after him, "I don't need your heartbeat to know."

Stiles pulled Danny to a quiet and private enough corner.

Stiles was breathless and spoke in a rush, "Look, you can't tell the pack. Now before you get snippy about them needing to know, just listen. Derek and I started to text a lot our second to last year. We got close, but decided not to date until I was done with college. We both didn't wait for each other, but we never got into something too serious. We've been taking it slow ever since I got back. And we don't want the pack to know yet."

Danny gave him a speculative look. "How slow?"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "We've had sex. Lots. The whole me being frustrated thing? Different type of frustration. Definitely not from lack of sex."

Danny put his hands up with an easy grin. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't squandering all of that. Like hot damn Stilinski. You got a good one."

Stiles' face went soft. "Yeah I do."

"Then why don't you want the pack to know?"

Stiles looked over to where Derek was standing. He was far enough back to not be able to hear them, but close enough for Stiles to be able to signal if he needed help. He had a beer and one of Stiles' favorite drinks in the table beside him. He had found Stiles' hoodie and draped it over the chair so they wouldn't forget it. He knew Stiles always forgot his coat when he was drunk. Stiles smiled at him, even though he wasn't looking before turning back to Danny. "Because he's the type you marry."

Stiles scratched the back of his head and continued, "And I don't want to mess that up, but if I do, the pack knowing would make it a thousand times worse. They would be all sad and comforting and they would look at us if we're ever in a room together. And I don't want that. Even if things go wrong, I don't want us to feel weird. We're pack. And if we did split I don't want everyone thinking they had to pick sides or that we can't be friends anymore. I guess that's what I've been worrying about so much lately, if we are right for each other. I just want to know that this is right, that we are sure before we involve the pack or my dad. I just, I've been worried about losing him and how much it would hurt. God I've always worried about losing people since my mom, but I don't think I could lose him. Especially not if we tell everyone. If we tell them it makes it real, it means it will hurt more if we don't work out or if something happens. The pack means everything to us and if they know it means it has to work." Stiles looked down.

Danny nodded. "I get that, but when are you going to tell them? When will you know? Because it sounds like you already know Derek is the type you marry. Stiles, you don't actually have to marry him to be sure. You just have to see it. When you think of your future, is he in it? You talk like you're sure, just scared."

Stiles instantly pictured a big restored house and family enjoying themselves in the yard. He looked over and Derek was smiling at him with the smile he had only seen when they weren't with other people. He reached out to Stiles with a hand that had a silver band.

Stiles looked up to meet Danny's eyes and then he found Derek's across the room. Despite the weird circumstances Derek still smiled at him. Not like he was doing it as a courtesy. Like he loved him so much and he couldn't help it. "He isn't in it. He is it." Stiles turned back with a wide smile and tears in his eyes. "He's my future Danny."

Danny smiled back. "I won't tell the pack, but I think you should."

Stiles nodded as a giggle bubbled out of his throat. He started to back away as he spoke, "Do you need a ride?"

Danny smirked. "I think I might go home with tall, dark, and into me, but if not I'll use my app to call a ride. Go get your boy."

Stiles nodded and turned with a grin.

He found him where he knew he would be. Derek was a pensive drinker so his beer was almost gone. When he got to the table Stiles chugged his drink and Derek raised an eyebrow. "I have to tell you something, so I need the liquid courage."

Derek set his jaw. "I don't want to do this here. It's too loud. Let's go to my car."

Stiles was practically bursting with nerves by the time they got in the car.

They sat in silence for a few moments while Derek brooded and Stiles chewed his lip. When Derek reached to turn on the car Stiles stopped him and grabbed his hand. He smiled at it before pulling it close enough to push his lips softly against his knuckles.

Derek looked pained. "Stiles-"

"I love your hands." He snorted. "Even more than Bubble's"

Derek looked at him with raised eyebrows. "How much have you had?"

"Too much so I want to be as close to you for as long as I can, but sadly not enough to not know I can't cuddle you every second of every day."

Derek considered it for a moment. Fuck it, if this was going to be the last time he was close, he was going to be so close it hurt. Derek reached between his legs to the lever and slid back his seat. He tilted it to the perfect angle they had found and Stiles brightened. He climbed over the console and straddled his lap. Stiles settled in on top of him and tucked his head into his neck. Derek tried to not lose it as he felt the emotions welling up. He held onto Stiles' legs to ground himself.

Stiles kissed his neck softly. "I kissed Danny because he said some creep was staring at me." Derek could feel his smile pressed to his neck, then Stiles poked his side. "That's you. He thought you would go away if I was spoken for."

Derek gripped his legs harder.

"But if I would've known it was you, I could've told him that wouldn't work at all. Because, you see, I am spoken for. By you. Only by you. I only belong with you Derek."

Derek's grip relaxed, but he still asked, "Why were you there with him? I went out to pick up food and when I saw your Jeep here I was so confused."

Stiles didn't know where to start with that one. "Because he told me I'm the type you marry. And be-"

Derek grabbed him by the shoulders enough to pull him back. Derek looked positively sick to his stomach. "He wants to marry you?!"

Stiles tried to figure out where the conversation had been and where he meant it to be, all the while trying to figure out how the hell it got were it was. "What?"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing! He doesn't want to marry me, that's why he said he wouldn't date me!"

Derek looked no less hurt or shocked, but somehow more confused. "You asked him to date you?!"

"What? No! In college I asked him why he wouldn't date me. That was his answer, because I'm the type you marry."

Derek took a deep breath. "You're so confusing when you're drunk." Derek laughed lightly. "You're so confusing when you're sober."

Stiles looked petulant. "Can't you focus please?"

"Can't you make a point please?" Derek snarked.

"I'm the type you marry, and you're also the type you marry. Well not you, me."

Derek's eyebrows furrowed. "Stiles if you're suggesting we get drunk married in Vegas, you do realize I have to be drunk too? So that way I can't be the voice of reason."

Stiles sighed. "Ughhh you're not listening!" Stiles put both hands on each side of Derek's face with a bit too much force. "Danny tried to take me out to set me up, but he just made me realize something. I want to marry you. Not yet, but I do. Sometime. I don't want to be engaged yet either, but I wouldn't be opposed to that happening. Then we could get married. Maybe in the fall. Not the next next fall, that's too soon. Maybe summer though, because the next next next fall is too far away. I want to be married to you." Stiles looked into his eyes with tears brimming. "I want to love you every day of my life."

Derek just sat there with an open mouth and raised eyebrows. "I don't even know what to say to that."

Stiles smiled, but fidgeted. "Do you want that too?"

Derek spoke immediately, slightly breathlessly, "Yes."

"Then I think you could say, I love you too Stiles."

Derek pulled him by his neck down to kiss him. He leaned back and looked into Stiles' eyes with shining ones. "I love you too, Stiles. I want to love you for the rest of our lives."

Stiles smiled and kissed him again before leaning his forehead against Derek's.

"God I hope you're not too drunk to remember this. Or regret it in the morning."

Stiles smiled at him. "Take me home and fall asleep with me. Let's find out in the morning, lover."

Derek hugged Stiles to his chest with a crushing grip. "I will kill you if you forget this."

Stiles nodded into his neck. "Noted." He pulled back and climbed back to his seat.

"Please tell me Danny doesn't need a ride."

"He's fine. I checked before I left. He's more sober than me, and hard pressed I could probably fool my father in all except the breathalyzer."

"I don't think you'd pass any test. You got drunk enough to say you'd marry me."

Stiles looked over to him and shook his head. "I didn't get drunk enough to say it, stupid. I got drunk enough to finally realize it."

Derek pulled out of the parking lot and Stiles jolted. "Oh and I think we should tell the pack now!"

Derek smiled. "Yeah? Because of the proposal?"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "I did not propose. I just said that I would eventually be open to asking or saying yes."

Derek reached over and placed his hand on Stiles' thigh and swept his thumb in soothing motions. "I think we should too, darling."

Stiles laced their fingers together and smiled at the road ahead of them.

---

Stiles had a wide grin as he looked at the green lawn around him and the pack that filled it. It was a perfect summer day for the party. There was a game of frisbee and gossip circles his dad was even milling about close to the congrats cake hand in hand with Melissa.

Stiles looked down to the cool metal he was still getting used to. He smiled at it resting against the picnic table. The day had been filled with many congratulations and more than enough tears. Most from his father. Who joked he'd never thought he'd met someone stupid enough to propose to Stiles, but when he met Derek he knew. They both had been offended by that, but quickly forgave him when he said he had to give his two boys grief. Scotty had just beamed at Stiles and said he was happy he found his Allison. Jackson even showed up with his husband and smiled at them.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Danny sitting down on the side opposite of him.

After Derek knew he wasn't trying to steal his man, and was the reason they finally pulled their heads out of their asses about telling the pack, he took a liking to him. Stiles was awed by how well he fit in with everyone and some how he hadn't been there before. Eventually the pack wore him down enough that he joined. Erica was a menace and the best recruitment agent.

"So I guess no matter how awesome I was in college, I didn't get this one right. Some matchmaker I am."

"Actually..." Stiles smiled and went to his pocket for the piece of paper he had brought for this moment. It was crinkled from when he crumpled it to throw away, but saved last minute to show Scott.

He slid the smoothed out post-it note over to Danny and he read it out loud, "Stiles, marry 'cousin Miguel' He's hot and so not your cousin."

Danny let out a bark of laughter. "I forgot I wrote this."

Stiles shrugged. "So you were right."

He looked up when he heard someone clear their throat. Derek held out a hand and Stiles' eyes were drawn to that silver band. "I think it's time for cake, before your dad eats it all with his eyes. Come along beloved."

Stiles rolled his eyes, but took his hand as he got up. "You can't call me that if you don't call me that when we're all old and wrinkled."

Derek used their entwined hands to yank him closer to his chest. "If I don't call you pet names when we are old and wrinkled, it is because I have forgotten every word that compares to how much I love you."

"Sap."

Derek grinned. "You love it."

Stiles rolled his eyes and looked into Derek's. "I love you."

Derek beamed and held up his hand proudly. "Yeah you do! You're gonna be stuck with me."

Stiles replied with adoration in his eyes, "I already am."

"Guuuys! Cake."

Their eyes didn't move from each other as they spoke in unison.

"Shut up Cora."

"Cora fuck off."

Stiles dropped his voice lower, "I think we should stay here and make them wait. Or we could excuse ourselves for a moment and have sex upstairs."

"You're terrible. Utterly deviant. That's such a good idea." Derek rested their noses together.

"I know."

Derek smiled. "But cake. You love cake."

Stiles grinned lecherously. "I also love other things I can put in my mouth."

"Dude, gross!"

"Eavesdrop on the newly engaged couple and you deserve what you hear Scott!" Stiles shouted.

Derek was beaming and Stiles looked at him confused. "You hate when I embarrass you. Wha-"

"You're engaged to me. I'm engaged to you. We're engaged. It sounds so..."

Stiles finished for him, "Weird. But good."

Derek had a momentary flash of doubt. "You feel like this is right too, right?"

Stiles nodded. "The kind of right that makes you sure nothing but this was ever supposed to happen. I'm meant to marry you Derek Hale, and you're meant to marry me. Come witches, werewolves, Jackson being a lovable asshole, or fighting over what colors to paint the house I'm going to be with you through it all. Our lives were meant to be given to each other. Why else do you think I keep saving your sourwolf ass?" Stiles' emotional face faded to a smirk.

Derek looked contemplative for a second before he looked certain. "Were you exaggerating when you said you didn't want to plan a wedding and have a big fancy party?"

Stiles looked suspicious. "I don't need any of that. What are you talking about Derek?"

Derek looked excited. "Look me in the eyes and tell me everything you need for your future isn't in this yard. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want to start that life."

Stiles still looked confused.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want it today. Just say it and I'll wait. I'll wait for you to decide which flowers you like best. I'll wait to think over who's side Erica is on. I'll wait to let you pick out a tux. I'll wait for you to go back and forth on a venue until you realize that under the tree right next to our house is perfect. I'll wait for the day saying things like our house doesn't make me feel impatient. I'll wait for that God awfully long walk down the aisle. Tell me right now and I swear to God Stiles I'll wait for it all. But if you want it today as bad as I do, I'll carry you to the courthouse."

Stiles grinned at him. "I'm the type you marry, Derek Hale. So what are you waiting for?"

They met in the middle and there was so much love in that kiss it almost ached.

Erica smirked and shouted as everyone handed her and Melissa dollar bills. "Everyone get your ass in a vehicle. It doesn't matter which one. We have a wedding to attend."

Derek and his father both signed the papers with shaky hands and teared eyes.

When they were declared the Stilinski-Hales Stiles let out a punched breath. He looked over at Derek through the tears left over from their vows and he smiled.

Derek beamed wide and bright as Stiles thought to himself. This, this is what my future looks like.

This is for @sterek-bingo

[writtenmemxries]

I fell for you, Dean.

So today, 18th September 2020, it's Dean and Castiel's twelfth anniversary, and who am I not to post something in celebration?

Actually, this ficlet has nothing to do with their first encounter, it's just a love confession because I'm a sucker for that stuff.

I sincerely hope you like it! xx

[2060 words]

Jack is nineteen. Well, actually he's three, but, you know, he's in the body of a nineteen-year-old boy. And like all guys, he wants to experience stuff. New things.

When he walks around the city, accompanying Sam to the grocery store, and he sees kids his age, he always feels weird and odd sensations that he cannot quite define. They hug, sometimes they kiss, hold hands. And he doesn't understand.

Of course he knows about love, and he thinks he has felt it. After all, he loves Castiel, and he loves Sam, and he loves Dean. He loves his family. But that, that is a different kind of love. He sees it. But he can't quite understand it. He would like to, but he doesn't know how.

He may have the body of a grown boy, but deep inside he's still a child, often disoriented and confused, despite having had to endure more burdens and tragedies than anyone his age. But Jack, Jack was never a normal kid, of course. Although sometimes he would like to be. He would like to feel like them, like normal kids.

When he entered the bunker library that afternoon, Dean was sitting at the table, absentmindedly leafing through a book about rugarus. He sat down next to him and watched him for a while without saying a word. Jack looked at him and wondered if he had ever fallen in love. If Dean ever felt that kind of love.

"You okay?" Dean asked, feeling his insistent gaze on him.

"Yes," Jack said, and continued to stare.

After a few minutes, Dean closed the book and turned to the boy. "Why do you keep staring at me?"

"I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Have you ever fallen in love?" Jack asked innocently.

Dean's eyes widened. "Come again?"

"I said, have you ever fallen in love?"

Dean shifted awkwardly in his chair, a confused expression on his face. "Why you asking, kid?"

Jack shrugged.

"You met someone?" Dean asked smirking.

"No," Jack replied simply. "I just wanted to know if hunters were allowed to fall in love."

Dean looked at him in surprise. He certainly didn't expect that. "Kid, what do you mean, allowed? Everyone's allowed to fall in love, no matter what their job is."

"But, hunting-"

Dean cut him off. "I know. Believe me, I know. We lose people, especially the ones we care about. And it hurts. We gotta man up and face the situation. We just deal with it, somehow." He sighed. "But sometimes, you bond with someone. Could be someone you saved, someone you helped, another hunter... we travel all the time, we meet hundreds of people. It's inevitable, you know." He nodded, as if he was satisfied with his own speech.

"I understand," Jack said, despite his brow furrowing.

Dean smiled at him and started to get up, before the conversation turned to something more embarrassing that he was absolutely not ready to talk about with Jack. It wasn't his job to give him The Talk, right?

But then Jack spoke again. "So you have fallen in love."

Dean sighed, moving his gaze to the large bookcases surrounding them. "Yes, sure. I fell in love sometimes."

Jack looked at him in surprise. "You can fall in love more than once?"

Dean laughed. "Sure. Sometimes people fall in love, get together, but for some reason they break up." He swallowed, trying not to think too much about his past relationships. "But there's always some sort of... affection. That always remains."

Jack was silent for a while, deep in thought. Then he spoke again. "Are you in love now?"

Dean licked his lips, his heartbeat strangely increasing. Jack stared at him with his big blue eyes, his genuinely curious gaze. He cleared his throat again. "And who am I supposed to be in love with? Sam and I- we don't get to know many girls like we used to," he said, forcing a laugh. His heart was still pounding in his chest.

Jack thought about it. "What if it's not a girl?"

Dean blushed violently. "What- what do you mean?" he stammered.

"Can't you fall in love with a man?"

"Um-" Dean ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, sure. I mean, um- some- some people, they- they like same-sex people, you know- and it's okay, I mean, it's normal, perfectly natural."

Damn kid, why did he have to keep asking questions?

"But you don't," Jack noted.

"I- I don't, what?"

"You are not attracted to men."

Dean licked his lips again, his discomfort was palpable and he found himself mentally blaming the boy and his naivety, which made him ask all those stupid questions.

The boy just needed to understand how life worked, that's all. Dean could do it, could help him. It was fine.

But at that moment, Castiel entered, greeting Jack placing his hands on his shoulders and squeezing lightly, in a fatherly manner. He smiled at Dean, a warm smile that made his insides melt.

"What were you talking about?" Castiel asked with a loving smile.

"Dean is telling me about love," Jack replied cheerfully.

Dean took a deep breath through his nose.

"Have you ever been in love, Castiel?" Jack asked.

Castiel looked at him first, then moved his gaze to Dean, letting his eyes wander over the features of his face before answering, "Yes."

Dean jerked his head up at him, looking at him with eyes full of amazement and some other emotion he didn't know or didn't want to acknowledge. "Really?"

"Yes, Dean," Castiel replied with a sigh, sitting down opposite to him. "Really."

Dean swallowed. "Good. I mean, good for you. I mean, um, I'm... happy for you. And, um, who- who's the- the lucky woman?" He tried not to look him in the eye. Anywhere, but not in those damn blue eyes.

Castiel looked down at his hands, fidgeting. "It's- it's not a woman."

Dean didn't speak. He stood there, staring at him, his lips slightly parted in shock.

It was Jack who broke the silence, as always. "Don't worry Castiel. Dean said there's nothing wrong with that. It's natural." He smiled.

Dean blushed. God, how he wanted to run away, disappear, be locked up in their dungeons and never get out again.

Castiel didn't reply, continuing to fidget with his fingers, avoiding Dean's gaze. Avoiding his deep, playful green eyes.

"I gotta go," Dean muttered, standing up abruptly. He couldn't bear to be there, at that table, sitting in front of an angel of the Lord who claimed to be in love. Who was he in love with, anyway? Who the heck could he have met? Was it a hunter they'd worked with a few times, or a stupid dude he met somewhere? Whatever. Dean didn't care. He could feel a lump in his throat and his stomach turned upside down with jealou- no. It wasn't that. He didn't care. He simply had to walk away.

Castiel watched Dean leave. He listened to his footsteps echoing in the corridor, then nothing more. He sighed.

Jack watched him. "Are you alright?"

Castiel just nodded, giving him a forced smile.

"Did Dean... did he say something? Is he... in love?" he asked shyly after a while.

"He didn't say it. He kept blushing."

Castiel nodded again, swallowing. It was okay. He wasn't actually hoping for it after all. He got up slowly and gave Jack's shoulder one last squeeze before disappearing.

And so, Jack was left alone, with the terrible feeling that he had just unleashed something big.

At dinner, they all gathered at the table as usual. It felt like a normal, quiet evening, but the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

Sam glanced at Dean and Castiel, who kept avoiding each other's gazes. "Did something happen while I was away?" he asked.

"No," the two said in unison.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, sure."

"Nothing happened, Sammy, okay? Everything's just fine. We're all happy and in love," Dean snapped, raising his voice at every word. Then he got up from the table, walking away with heavy steps.

"Dean-" his brother called.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

Sam looked at Jack and Castiel for some explanation, but they both looked as shocked and concerned as he was.

"Maybe I should go talk to him," Castiel said quietly, getting up from the table. "Excuse me."

He knocked on Dean's bedroom door, from where he could hear music coming.

"I said I'm not hungry, Sam."

Castiel opened the door slightly, peeking out. "It's me."

Dean stiffened. "What do you want, Cas?"

"What happened Dean?"

Dean sighed, running a hand over his face.

Castiel entered the room, closing the door behind him. Dean gritted his teeth.

"Dean. Talk to me."

He closed his eyes, clenching his jaw even tighter until it hurt.

"I can't," he said so quietly that Castiel wasn't sure he had actually spoken.

"What?"

"I said I can't," he repeated, raising his voice. He looked at him bitterly. "I can't, okay? I don't know why- I didn't want to snap like that, okay? I didn't want to blame Sam. Damn, he's got nothing to do with it."

"So, what is the problem?" Castiel asked gently.

Dean sighed again. "Me. Just me. I am the problem, Cas. Me, my damn mind and that damn man you're in love with. Who is he, huh? A-a guy you met in a bar? And you fell in love with him? Really, Cas? Then why don't you go to him, go to the love of your life, or whatever it is." He was yelling and he didn't even realize it.

Castiel stared at him in shock, and Dean felt like an idiot. What right did he have to blame Cas for falling in love? Just because he felt something for the angel - because yes, damn, he felt more than just something for him - he didn't have the right to interfere in his life. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, ashamed of himself.

"Dean-"

"No, Cas. I don't- I don't know why- I'm sorry. Really. I'm sorry. I have no right to- It's none of my business."

"Dean. Look at me."

Dean looked up with difficulty. He had his nails pressed into his palms. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, the pounding of his heart.

"Dean." Castiel walked over. "I am with the love of my life." His eyes locked with Dean's.

Dean opened his mouth, then closed it again. It was dry and his thoughts ran so fast that chasing them and being able to give them a voice was impossible.

"Don't you understand, can't you see?" Castiel continued. "It's like everyone has always said. I fell for you, Dean. I fell for the Righteous Man in every way imaginable. And I would do it again. Over and over and over."

They were so close that Dean was sure Castiel could hear his heartbeat. It was deafening, it was painful, it was almost inhumane. Every inch of his body quivered, eager to reach out and feel what he thought he couldn't have, touch what he thought he didn't deserve.

But Castiel, oh, Cas... he was so tired of Dean's stubbornness, so tired of his own feelings, so tired of repressing everything, he couldn't stop himself. He reached out and took Dean's face in his hands, touching it with a kindness that Dean hadn't felt on his skin in a long time.

He closed his eyes, letting Castiel's thumbs softly caress his face, with slow but firm movements. He let a sigh escape from his lips as he completely melted at the angel's touch.

"It's you, Dean. I'm in love with you. I can't even tell you since when, I just know it happened."

"Cas-" Dean whispered. A whisper that tasted of unspoken words, words he couldn't say, words he felt inside himself and that devoured every cell, causing him to collapse inside himself. A star that implodes and creates a galaxy.

And as Castiel brought his face close to his, breathing against his lips before closing the distance with a desperate kiss, Dean saw it. A galaxy of pleasure within which he felt reborn.

And just like that, he kissed Cas back, and the galaxy exploded, leaving him breathless.

[thiswasinevitableid]

76. it’s my birthday and you just fucking ruined my party and I don’t even know you

Danbrey, sfw or nsfw, please!

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

“Wow, dude, this is so fancy.” Jake takes in the dining room of Yosemite Lodge, “look, napkins!”

“Jake, we have cloth napkins back home.” Dani smiles fondly; while she’s more interested in the location and the decor, she agrees with her brothers overall enthusiasm.

The rest of Amnesty Lodge, where Dani lives and works, pooled their resources to surprise her with a weekend trip to Yosemite for her twenty-fifth birthday. She would have been happy camping, but they even went to the trouble of booking rooms in the main lodge and scheduling her a birthday dinner in the restaurant that looks out onto the valley.

Mama whistles at the menu from her seat at the head of the table, “damn, this is a good lookin dinner.”

Dani picks up the single sheet of paper, the silver writing informing her the meal with consist of a summer salad, shrimp scampie, and a strawberry rhubarb tart for dessert. When she glances across the table, Barclay is smiling down into his water glass.

“Oh my god, did you request a specific menu just for me?”

Her friend nods, blushing a little, “Head chef is an old friend from my line cook days.”

“Aw, you guys.” She sips the fancy cider Barclay ordered for the table, “you didn’t have to do all this.”

“You ain’t had a real party in years; seemed time to fix that.” Mama’s about to say something else when the fire alarm blares through the room and a server asks that everyone please exit through the side doors into the courtyard.

“Probably just a false alarm.” Barclay leans against a decorative rock.

“Uh, dudes? I smell smoke.”

Dani cranes her neck, tracks the path of the curling smoke through the lights from the windows to the main meeting room on the bottom floor of the hotel. A woman about her age, dressed entirely in red and black with, “The Lady Flame” emblazoned on her sparkly jacket, is talking and gesturing rapidly with disgruntled staff.

Two minutes later, the same woman steps onto the lawn with a sheepish smile.

“Hi everyone! It’s safe to go back in now. I, um, there was a tiny accident with some flashpaper. I think. Anyway, point is, I’m super sorry and there’s no more fire so please come enjoy my show. Oh, but, um, we have to move to the dining room due to some, um, ash.”

Just as she says this, one of the servers whispers in Barclays ear.

“Fuck. Sorry gang, sounds like we gotta postpone until tomorrow; whatever party booked ms fireball over there is gonna take up the whole restaurant.”

Dani sighs, resigning herself to a night of vending machine dinner as they head back inside. Then a hand settles on her arm and she’s locking eyes with the person who just ruined her evening.

“Hey, I always ask the cutest girl in the audience to be my assistant for the next bit. Do you want to-”

She pulls her arm away, “Yeah, hard pass, I’m not in whatever group decided to book you. I’m the person who’s birthday is getting turfed for your party.”

The magician cringes, “EEsh, I’m so sorry, I’ll, um, I’ll just.” She steps back, eyes glued to her black boots. As Dani continues into the lodge, she swears she hears the same voice go, “aw beans.”

---------------------------------------------------------

The spring sunshine feels perfect, the breeze is gentle, and there are literal bluebirds calling around her. Dani feels like a dang disney princess as she naps on a rock near one of the meadows.

Something--a chipmunk, she assumes--munches the grass below her.

“Dr Harris Bonkers, no! This is a national park and I’m not letting my only son go to jail for vandalism.”

Dani rolls onto her side in time to see the magician from last night scooping a massive, orange rabbit from the ground. When she straightens enough to notice she’s not alone, the woman freezes.

“Um. Hi. Again.”

“Hi.” Not feeling like rehashing last night, she studies the rabbit, “should he really be running around out here?”

“Not even remotely. He was supposed to stay in my room, but he gnawed his way out of his carrier, hopped onto the windowsill, and decided to bounce when he saw all the plants out here.” She cautiously sits on the edge of the rock, rabbit in her lap, “I really am sorry about last night. I never used to have problems during my shows, but lately it’s like my flashpaper has a freaking mind of its own. I was kinda hoping it wouldn’t screw with anybody’s plans but mine.”

“It’s fine.” Dani shrugs, “we’re just going to do a dinner re-do tonight.”

The woman bites a matte black lip, “Could I, um, make it up to you?”

“How?”

“Well, it’s your birthday, right? You’re supposed to spend your birthday doing things you like, so I could, like, keep you company while you do them?”

It would be nice to have a hiking buddy. Mama is taking a well-deserved nap, Barclay is off for a swim, and Jake found some rock climbers to hang with. And while the Lady Flame looked good last night, today she’s downright gorgeous. The dyed-red streaks in her curly, black hair, the freckles, black shorts that make her butt look incredible, all of it adds up to someone Dani wouldn’t mind spending the day with.

“Do you have shoes you can hike in?”

She kicks up one leg, showing off her Doc Martens, “I once walked five miles in these with no problems.”

“Great. Let’s get the doctor” she rubs the rabbit’s ears, “somewhere safe and get on the trail.”

--------------------------------------------

The hike’s only three and a half miles, but it’s taking them a long time to complete it. Not because they’re slow, but because Aubrey (as the Lady Flame calls herself) keeps stopping to look at or point out any interesting thing that catches her eye. It’s adorable.

Dani likes when she points out plants, because then she can show off a little.

“Dang, you really know your plants.” Aubrey stoops to take a picture of some Scarlet Monkeyflower.

“I run the teaching garden out back of the Lodge. Uh, Amnesty Lodge, where I live, not this one.”

“Coooool. I keep thinking about making Dr. Harris Boners a little garden when I finally find a place to stay put for awhile, but everything is always about how to keep bunnies out of your garden.”

“I mean, they can really trash it if you’re not careful.”

“I believe it, Dr. Harris Bonkers can take out a whole patch of rug in, like, ten minutes.”

“Herbs would probably be okay, clover too. I guess it depends on how much space you have.”

“Probably not much” Aubrey holds out a hand to help her across a creek, “traveling magicians don’t make much.”

Their talk turns to Aubrey’s life on the road, and her various misadventures trying to transport a fifteen pound rabbit on public transit. When they reach the waterfall that marks the trails end, they slip off their shoes and socks to dip their feet in the nearby pond, shoulders touching as they compare notes on growing up in sometimes stressful family situations.

It’s well after lunchtime when they get back, so they sit in the meadow and split a bag of chips, shooing away several overly ambitious squirrels. Mama joins them for a bit, and Dani smiles when she notices how quickly the older woman takes to Aubrey. Mama can never turn down a stray.

Dani’s already scheming for how to spend the last day of her vacation with Aubrey when the magician turns down her invitation to dinner. She’s a little disappointed, but Aubrey promises she’ll see her later.

Her birthday dinner redux is halfway into its second course when the lights at the front of the room brighten and the ones above her dim.

“And now, as an added, surprise treat for this evening's meal, the magnificent Lady Flame is here to dazzle you all with her astounding feats of magic!” The server at the edge of the room gives a thumbs up and Aubrey bounds into view, smile glittering brighter than her outfit.

To Dani’s delight, Aubrey is an amazing magician; her tricks are interesting, her patter is the same funny, energetic pace that their conversations were this afternoon, and her assistant is adorable. When she declares she needs a volunteer for her next trick, she’s holding her hand out to Dani before anyone else can raise theirs.

The trick turns out to be picking cards and showing them to the audience, though Dani notices Aubrey devotes as much sleight of hand to brushing their fingers together as she does to her act.

“And now, esteemed audience, I will produce a flower from my lovely assistant's hair!”

Dani smiles, then claps along with everyone else as Aubrey produces a spring of Larkspur from thin air. Literally, Dani cannot for the life of her tell where she was hiding it. Or how she was able to get what Dani said was her favorite flower on such short notice.

Aubrey finishes up her act (and doesn’t set anything on fire) to thunderous applause, and Dani spots Mama leaning over to whisper something to Barclay, who nods thoughtfully. It’s only after the magician has taken her last bow that Dani has a horrible realization; Aubrey went to all that trouble to make her birthday dinner memorable, and she didn’t get to eat any of it.

Her white sandals sink into the carpet as she carries a plate down to Aubrey’s room. When her new friend opens the door, she’s between worlds; sparkly jacket on top, red pajama pants on the bottom.

“I brought you some cake. Or, uh, I guess it’s a tart.” She holds out the plate and Aubrey takes it, cheeks going pink, “since you didn’t get the rest of the dinner.”

“Thanks” Aubrey steps back so Dani can join her in the room, “it’s chill that I didn’t get to join you all; I wanted to make up for ruining your dinner last night.”

“You already did way more than that. Aubrey, this was the nicest day I’ve had in months, and most of that is because I got to spend it with you.”

“I dunno, feel weird getting cake from a thing I crashed.” Aubrey is fidgeting with her bracelets, blushing harder every time she looks up and finds Dani still smiling at her.

“Can I give you something else instead?” Dani takes a half-step forward.

“Sure! What-” Aubrey’s words fade into a little sigh as Dani wraps her arms over her shoulders. Then her back bumps into the nightstand as Aubrey throws herself into a kiss.

“Hey” Dani teases, nibbling her ear as Aubrey holds her tighter, “you messed up my big reveal.”

“Aw dang, guess I’ll have to make it up to you.” Aubrey slips her hands down to the small of her back, “how does even more making out sound?”

Dani pulls her towards the bed, heart buzzing with warmth at the sight of her smile and the touch of her hands, “like the best birthday gift ever.”

[sofijaeger]

so i took my psats today and lemme tell you...

IT SUCKED ASS

i sat for four hours reading about bumblebees and ravens, for what? to most likely receive a three-digit number as my score😫

And it didn’t help that I thought about:

HOW THE AOT FAM TAKES BIG > TESTS <

| modern, high school au |

eren. would be completely out of the zone from the start. Waking up early only to sit still for hours, on top of trying to complete questions within restrictions of time gets him so frustrated. How can he answer the questions when he’s forced to read page-long excerpts in less than a minute? He thinks the tests are absolutely ridiculous (and used these reasons to back up his real excuse of never knowing there was a prep course).

jean. To be fair, he did try at the beginning, and understood a good amount of the questions, but his brain couldn’t separate math and calculator, so by the start of the third section he was a goner. Probably watched the PSAT cheats and tricks on tik tok for prep, and by the end he just randomly bubbled answers in hopes the majority of them would be right.

armin. Let’s all think logically here and say that armin prepped before it was even mentioned at school, and he plugged his scores into his early college account from the previous years so it was ✨personalized✨ for his advanced learning capabilities. He still didn’t enjoy sitting in his seat for so long, and became fatigued quickly. Mom and Pap’s were most likely the main source of pressure, and he studied so much the poor baby didn’t see his friends for weeks:( Besides that, it’s safe to say he’s winning a National Merit Scholarship😌🏆

mikasa. I see her being such a great student and making very little mistakes, but those small slip ups can affect a lot and IT BOTHERS HER. Can she answer all the questions? with pin-point accuracy, but she’s completely unaware of time management, and she’ll be bubbling her answer into question 9 out of 36 at the ‘10 minutes left’ mark. Lowkey gets pissed in the last few sections and might even bubble random answers if she must.

Reiner. The poor dude has so much potential, and is a very academically and athletically inclined student, but cannot function in silence no matter how hard he tries. Something about hearing his own thoughts gets the best of his anxiety, and he probably shakes his leg like a motor engine or uses his #2 pencils to become the lead drummer in a rock band to think out each questions. Every, single, one. Everyone continuously tells him to stfu.

Historia. she also prepped for the test, but not as much as armin because she has to keep her social life in check too. Was definitely prepared for the test until she got there, because she wore a light blouse or something and forgot that testing rooms are ALWAYS cold. (idk man it’s the algorithm). bb was shivering the whole time and could barely focus

Ymir. Who the fuck put ymir at the opposite side of the classroom as Historia. Ymir couldn’t really care less about the test, but actually tried until she heard tiny teeth chattering from the other side of the room. She was so pissed the entire time watching her poor girl freeze, and she would’ve gotten up and given her, her jacket if it werent for Levi sitting at the desk right next to her.

Levi. HAH he’s the supervisor. Mainly because he’s the only person who manages to shut the entire class up, yet he seemed very content knowing he could receive a peaceful quietness for a few hours. His eyebrows even unfurrowed for the first time in well, forever. I know y’all would think he did exceptionally well, but this dude didn’t give one shit back when he was in high school. (Still managed to snag a decent score bc he’s god-like🙄🤚🏼)

Sasha. Academic wise she did quite well, and didn’t stress in either subject bc she’s pretty smart, she just won’t admit it. But when this girl realized she couldn’t touch her snacks for 4 freaking hours she threw a fit. Had a whole thanksgiving meal before she got to school, and kept fidgeting in her seat to make her tummy grumbles go away. (they never went away).

connie. he assumed it wasn’t mandatory and didn’t show up to school for his freashman practice. He slept through his sophomore one too. By Junior year though he wanted to take it more seriously and tried asking teachers and friends around for help, but since covid rolled around, it wasn’t mandatory anymore. Babes never signed up and has still yet to take it😩.

I might do a part two, so let me know if you’d like that!!

[sinkix]

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy​ gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef 

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS  MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork. 

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things. 

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

[xnchxntmxnt]

HEY it's me here for the event <33

So fandoms is just Sk8 the infinity, and if you're doing yoi then that too but otherwise just the one is fine also I'd preferably like a dude

So that's the outift im SORRY it's all black but i wore it recently and i rlly liked it so it's the first thing that came to mind

Totally unrelated to the event but this is the pair of shoes I'm wearing in that outfit and I'm in Love with them probably my fav pair shoes

So uh yea these ^ shoes with black pants, a white tshirt with a printed tie tucked into the pants, and a black denim jacket over top. Also a black knitted belt. I always wear those bracelets and like, a normal watch.

Ah personailty. I'm that generally nice guy that noone rlly has any beef with but who's not like, one of the popular kids uk? Not very talkative but that's only around new people. In contrast, I'm probably the most talkative one within my friend group lol.

I LOVE reading I've loved it ever since i was a toddler. I don't have a fav genre, as a kid i would read literally anything, from encyclopdias to kids books to classics to even this one big book about herbal medicine that i read for some reason? I don't even remember what was in it but it was rlly cool.

I have a system where my tbr list doubles as my book ranking list. My highest ranked books tend to be those that make me cry a Lot. So books like The Song Of Achilles, aaddtsotu, No 6, Circe, A Thousand Boy Kisses.

I'm a hoe for animation, and I don't watch live action movies/series alot. When i was younger it was disney pixar etc and now I watch anime. I still love disney pixar movies tho, and im always down to watch a classic like Mulan or newer movies like Luca or Encanto (three of my favourite films of all time btw). I prefer animation to live action because it has this sense of wonder and fantasy and excitement that you can't replicate with live action, and that's what i rlly enjoy abt it.

I loove music, i play the uke guitar and piano, tho I'm not Amazing at any of them. My fav artist is Taylor Swift. I don't support Celebrity Stan culture and I don't follow her life too intensely, i just find out stuff by filtration from my mutuals/friends lol. That being said, i think Taylor is so incredibly talented and her music never ever fails to make me feel a whole slew of emotions.

I also have adhd and it messes w my life in some ways, makes it more interesting in other ways. I Cannot hold a topic I go on multiple tangents, i have the short term memory capacity of a spoon, i cannot sit still and am always fidgeting , I'm hypersensitive to sudden sounds, but im also unable to function in total silence. School was weird cuz I'd never be able to pay attention in class or while studying normally but sometimes I'd hyperfixate on my studies for hours on end and so I'd do fairly well anyway.

I'm bisexual grayro! I'm aromantic in the sense that I don't feel romantic attraction, but i still wanna be in a romantic relationship someday (btw I am taking this event date as romantic not platonic). I'm also into boys girls and anything else, although i have a preference for guys.

I love being alone and left to do my own thing, but i hate feeling lonely or isolated. Which is smn my friends understand, so we don't talk a whole lot, but whenever we do it's so refreshing and the love between us is so palpable uk?

I watch documentaries in my free time! I especially love ones about history, which is one of my favourite subjects. I'm not TOO interested in war history, although its important and just as significant. I'm more interested in the development of society through the ages and the small quiet revolutions that made the world what we know today.

UHHHH that got longer than i meant it to but yea!! This was so fun thank u :)) hope u had fun reading all that!

i just have to say i was gonna text u this but i just. i love listening to people ramble like this its so fun because i love when people just. talk. especially about themselves. all these cool little things i now know about you i just. yes. i love it i love all of this its such a cool thing to me

ramble over. thANK YOU FOR SINGING WITH ME AT THIS <333 i did not even have to think about this matchup i got about halfway through ur submission before i was like lol i have the perfect idea

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡... 𝐑𝐄𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐘𝐀𝐍

kjgbkjdbg suit for him <3

the tie disappears after about 5 minutes he HATES ties. anyway

little different than others: you guys didn't actually meet here

you two had kinda been seeing each other for a little while but nothing was super formal or official

but you wanted to bring him because 1) you found out his friend was gonna be there too 2) gave you a chance to vibe a while yknow?

so reki's your plus one going into this

dude was SO nervous he was calling langa in a panic trying to figure out how to style his hair and what he was supposed to be wearing and all this other stuff

poor dude

but hey, he showed up, he looks great, its awesome

you told him beforehand that you were going in early bc music setup n stuff

he decided to come around the time everyone else was supposed to be there & just come by himself

hung out w langa and his girlfriend until yours truly makes their entrance

oh boy this dude was AWESTRUCK when it was music time

i've got this idea in my brain that like. i od a song then we do a song? said song is lover

he was vibing w the music for a while yk and then you started singing

lets just say dude went as red as his hair

he gives me the vibes that he'd have a thing for musicians or just people that can sing well

so like every gay panic siren was going off in his head when he heard you sing

finally music stuff was done

time to eat

before you could even get to the table reki ZOOMS over to you and is geeking out

incomprehensible rambling

he's just !!!!!

but overall he's just like ,NGNMJBHDGJNH BLUE THAT WAS SO GOOD

expect to be almost trampled in a hug

he will hug you

<333

so anyway you go through dinner

congrats you officially met langa + his girlfriend koi (who also participated in this lol)

however

ur probably halfway through a conversation and reki hears a song that he likes and makes u dance w him

he's never been one for social standards anyway he doesn't care if it seems rude its only langa

and he wouldn't care

he knows he wouldn't

so now ur cute redhead is pulling you onto the dance floor

he cannot dance but its okay!! he's trying. just vibe with him and let him spin you and spin him and he'll be smiling and laughing at you all night

that's all I've got but he's whipped for u and know that either that night or soon after u two make it official he had so much fun w you that he probably asked you night-of or the day after

[cumbercookiebatchs]

Imagine Enjolras waiting for Grantaire near the end of Grantaire's workout period at the gym and he's just minding his business when this obnoxious dude-bro won't stop hitting on him, but then Enjolras feels a tug on his waist from the side, and it's Grantaire holding him close to his side and shooting the guy a really sharp smile with threatening eyes.

And well, Enjolras doesn't really need Grantaire to step in beside him, but he figures that's something Grantaire's doing more for himself than him at the moment and it's nice anyway, and Grantaire's got that smell on him that's half sweat and half Grantaire himself that always has his knees go weak so he just leans beside him and pecks his cheek, "I was waiting for you"

Grantaire's focus shifts on him and his eyes turn tender and warm, he brushes a curl away form Enjolras's cheek and cups his neck, "was I much late love? Did you wait for long?"

It still makes Enjolras's inside squirm all over when Grantaire treats him like that, as if all the love he'd kept aside couldn't be hidden anymore.

"Nah. And you do make a nice view, I didn't mind waiting a little bit"

Grantaire chuckles and kisses his forehead, his arm still curled tight around Enjolras's waist and Enjolras can feel him glare daggers at that boy that's still standing much too close for comfort. He curls around Enjolras more tightly and rests his chin on his head, "did you want something?"

"No- I'm sorry I didn't know he was taken".

Enjolras's brow arches up so much it almost touches his hairline, and he feels Grantaire stiffen behind him, and he's about to open his mouth but Grantaire beats him.

"Excuse me? He's no one's property and he sure isn't taken. I've seen you pushing after getting back a no, but maybe it's too much to get into that thing you call a brain that other people have a say in what's their love life, they cannot be treated like objects just because you can't accept someone not wanting to spend their time with you. That's harassment, and I would very much like to punch you right now so please move away before I do so."

Enjolras is really proud of him.

Grantaire must think it different though, and he fidgets with his keys once they get into the car, then takes a big breath and turns toward him with firm albeit sad eyes, "I'm sorry".

Enjolras blinks, "for what?"

It's almost endearing the way Grantaire blushes and rubs the back of his head, Enjolras would be cooing if not for his confusion, "for what happened before. I'm sorry, I overstepped. It was not my place to talk, I got mad and I didn't think, I won't do it anymore".

He's got such sad eyes, Enjolras doesn't like it one bit. Well he sure likes Grantaire's eyes, it's the sadness that has to go away, so he takes Grantaire's hands and puts them on his lap, "did you do that because you tought I couldn't do it on my own?"

Grantaire looks at him as if he'd grown a second head, "What? No! I got mad and I got jealous, I couldn't stand how that ass talked about you, as if you were just a pair of pretty eyes and cute legs-whick of course you have I'm not saying- oh my god please help me out here for a second because I'm just making it worse and I feel like an asshole. I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry".

Enjolras smiles at him, rubs both thumbs on Grantaire's hands, "I'm not mad. I could've stepped in had I wanted to. I know you respect me, and I know that you know that I don't need someone else to step up for me and fight my battles, but it's nice sometimes to be reminded that someone's willing to do so. I know you want to stand beside me, and not above me-"

"I could never-"

"I know love. That's why I'm not mad. You moved for love, not for possession. And you're cute when you talk back at bigots, I'm really proud of you".

"So you're not mad at me?"

"Not even a little bit".

Grantaire nods, then bites his lips, looks away then looks back at him, "could you still accept my apologies? Please?"

"Of course love, come here".

They shift and Grantaire curls himself to hug Enjolras's waist, his head under Enjolras's chin and Enjolras's hands into his hair and by everything that's holy Enjolras's heart is about to melt, "I love you".

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Heads up! A whole (completely unedited) prologue of my fic "These Parts Of Me", which is my longfic to my Cyborg AU.

Enjoy!

Also, again, completely unedited and raw. I just finished writing this a second ago.

It was an awful decision to make, especially now. Hiccup is not in the kind of state to take any bad news and certainly not a decision such as theirs, not physically, not mentally, and not emotionally. So it pains them all to be doing this to him.

It took them hours of talking, of yelling, and of crying, before they all got on the same page and a choice had been made. They’ll tell him with heavy hearts and their chests aching, but there is simply no other way. After what Viggo has done to him, they simply cannot let him continue.

With their breaths held, the Riders walk into his hospital room, where they find Hiccup and his father. The tension is suffocatingly thick and Stoick looks up to see them walk in. His eyes are dark and tired from a lack of sleep, worry and stress has been keeping him up and they all know why.

Kept mostly sedated for his own sake as growing hysterical may make his condition so much worse, Hiccup’s gaze slowly glides over to his friends and his girlfriend. If it hadn’t been for him reacting, they would’ve thought his mind elsewhere. Understandable, considering the situation that he’s in.

They can’t see most of him, as the hospital staff has ensured that what remains is covered up for the mental health of himself and his loved ones. Maybe not seeing what’s no longer there, will make this slightly more bearable for all of them.

That said, the look in his eyes is dull and lifeless and their hearts break for him.

Stoick is silent as he gazes at them, too drained to even speak, and Astrid actually fidgets nervously by the door, the others standing behind her.

“Um, Mr. Haddock, Sir, we would like to talk with Hiccup,” she asks uncertainly. It would be nice to talk with him alone, but they can also understand if Stoick is hesitant to leave his wounded son alone, even if he’s among friends.

Hospitals have visiting hours, but there’s a reason why Stoick has stubbornly stayed despite the staff’s advice to go home and rest.

It takes the father a moment to think it over, under the current circumstances, what they’re asking isn’t something small. But then he gets up, the chair creaking beneath him.

“You get a maximum of five minutes and I will be standing right outside of the door. Don’t upset him,” his tone is hard, but he wants to keep his son safe and they can’t blame him for that.

Stoick passes the Riders and leaves the room. Just like he said, he’s standing just beyond the door.

Knowing the kind of news that they’ll be bringing him, their shared anxiety grows as they look at one another. Without a doubt, they will feel the wrath of a father after this visit is over.

Hiccup doesn’t tell them to come closer, he doesn’t urge them to approach him, he doesn’t do anything but stare. When he first woke up in the hospital, he had a freak out followed by a complete mental breakdown and he’s been silent ever since.

It’s been three weeks. Hiccup is not talking, he stares straight up at the ceiling for hours on end, he doesn’t get any proper meals, he’s kept sedated all hours of the day, his one break from this routine are doctor visits, and what remains of him is on a life support that’s meant to keep him alive until they can get him a replacement body.

Because that is what Viggo did to him. After Hiccup disappeared for only a day, he stole most of his body, part by part, for reasons unknown.

And now his life has been three weeks of just this, just existing and nothing more.

He’s not broken, he’s shattered.

And that’s why they cannot let this continue.

Gathering their courage, the Riders approach.

“Hey Hiccup,”

“Hey there H!”

“G’day, my dude!” He gets a variety of greetings, each cheerier than the last and they don’t get a single response other than the one they’ve been getting. Utter silence.

It’s not frustrating, it’s heartbreaking.

They stand by his bed awkwardly, shifting on their feet, looking everywhere but at him while his own stare never wavers.

“Um, Toothless is okay,” Fishlegs begins as Toothless is always a good way to break the ice with Hiccup.

Upon the mere mention of his best Bud, there’s a slight change in Hiccup’s expression. Of course, Toothless would draw a reaction out of him.

“No, he’s not,” but Snotlout has never been one to sugarcoat anything and he doesn’t think it’s fair to lie to Hiccup about his dragon. And while not everyone agrees with his way too straightforward protest, nobody is arguing with him.

“He misses you a lot and he’s angry with us for not figuring out a way to get him in here,” so Astrid tells him and there’s a deep, emotional sigh.

Knowing how smart he is, they aren’t even telling him which hospital Hiccup is in, fearing he might come check out his Rider himself. The sight of Hiccup in this condition is about the last thing that dragon needs to see.

He already saw enough during the rescue.

Silence returns, nobody quite knows what to say afterwards. Nothing good, that’s for sure. So getting straight to business it is.

“We’ve been trying to track Viggo down, but he’s really good at staying low,” Astrid says after minutes of nothing.

“It’s like he’s disappeared off the face of the Earth,” Ruffnut adds with her arms crossed, sounding resentful for Viggo’s decision to hide away. After what happened to their leader, she finds that a very cowardly move.

“Like a coward,” Snotlout agrees. He wants the Hunter to show his face so he can pummel it personally.

While Toothless drew some reaction out of him, talk of Viggo only makes him want to withdraw inward even more, away from this harsh reality. For the first time since they’ve entered this room, Hiccup takes his eyes off them, staring up at the ceiling once more.

No more. He wants to hear no more of him.

The Riders hear someone loudly clear his throat. Stoick hasn’t moved from his spot, but he’s been listening in and he’s loud enough to make his message clear. No talking about that man around his son. So they clamp shut about the subject.

But their minutes are ticking by, though no one is really keeping count. Before Hiccup’s father kicks them out, they need to tell him of that decision that they’ve made.

“Hiccup,” as second-in-command, Astrid is the one to bring it up.

“You know that we love you, right? That we don’t want any harm to come to you? Ever?” She asks him and she just has to assume that he’s still with them enough to hear what she’s saying, despite their mistake to bring up a certain man. It might’ve drawn a panicked response out of him if he wasn’t kept calm chemically.

The other Riders look away, dreading what’s about to come.

“This is why we’ve made a very difficult decision and I want you to know that it was difficult,” she reiterates. Their discussions had turned into screaming matches over this.

Astrid glances at her friends in the hope of seeing someone who might want to take over from her and finds them all looking away. So it really is up to her.

Her face hardens to protect her own feelings.

“We’ve decided that you’re leaving the Dragon Riders. We know that you were the one who founded us, but we can’t let anything else happen to you. You’re out.” Her words end up sounding harsh and Astrid finds it’s the only way she can say it. If she lowers her tone or her voice in any way, she might crack and begin to cry herself.

Warily, they look back at Hiccup when they hear nothing and find tears quietly rolling down his temples.

The sight is a punch to the gut, but they can all tell who’s in pain the most.

Stoick is seething when he hears this, but the boiling inside his veins is tempered almost immediately. Because yes, he doesn’t want any more harm to befall his son either.

He enters, finds the other Riders close to tears, and his face hardens despite all of that.

“All of you are leaving. Now.” His order is as stone cold as his glare. Though he agrees with their decision that it is time for Hiccup to step down, this was about the worst time to let him know.

Just as quiet as Hiccup, not daring to say a word in protest to Stoick or in comfort to Hiccup, the Riders leave. There’s no point in staying, Hiccup doesn’t have his voice and they can understand if they’re the last people he wants to see right now. Besides, they have yet to break the news to Toothless.

Snotlout is the one who stops at the door, who looks over his shoulder back at Hiccup. He’s sobbing. He can barely hear him, but even with the sedatives in his bloodstream does he have another breakdown.

He wanted to wait until Hiccup had at least gotten a little bit used to his new prosthetics before they told him. But it’s out now and they can’t take it back, just like they can’t take back any of his pain or what happened to him.

All they can do is move forward, day by day, and hope there are still enough parts of him left to piece him back together again.

Snotlout exits the room and follows the others on their way out of the hospital.

[lunetheaveragefan]

‘one day...’

Hey y’all! This chapter was supposed to be posted last Monday but last week was so busy for me and I forgot. So finally, here is chapter 7! Chapter 8 was supposed to be posted next week, but I’m going to continue with my typical two week schedule so I don’t forget again! Hope you enjoy!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: swearing; brief mention of a panic attack; eating; if you notice anything else, let me know!

Word Count: 2557 words

-------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER SEVEN

Virgil exits the auditorium with Patton and Logan, grinning.

“He did so good!” Patton exclaims. Before either of the others have a chance to respond, Patton continues, “It was like he was a completely different person! Here, let’s go congratulate him!” Virgil and Logan follow Patton down a few crowded hallways, weaving in and out of people talking to other members of the cast. 

“Roman!” Patton yells, waving his arms. Virgil catches sight of Roman, stepping out of a set of heavy doors. Behind him, it’s dark, but Virgil can make out a folding table and the edges of black curtains. Backstage. Then, a group of people walk in front of them, and Virgil loses sight of Roman.

Without hesitation, Patton grabs Logan’s hand and begins to shove people aside, muttering a few cheerful ‘Excuse me’s and ‘Sorry’s. Before Virgil has a chance to get a hold of Logan, they’re lost in the crowd. 

Well, what the heck do I do now? Virgil wonders, chuckling softly. A hand brushes his arm at the same time a voice says, “Hey. Where are the others?”

After seeing who it is, Virgil laughs and answers, “They went to look for you.” Roman slaps his forehead with his palm, uttering a sound that’s half-sigh, half-laugh. He rises up to his toes, straining to look over people’s heads.

“This same goddamn thing happens every year. You would think we’d learn by now.” Roman looks back down at Virgil, and at the very second he does, Virgil sees Patton pop up above the rest of the crowd. Pointing so Roman will see, Virgil waves his other hand to catch Patton’s attention. It works, and Roman grabs Virgil’s hand, causing his heart to skip a beat. 

After a lot of pushing and shoving, the two of them reach Patton and Logan, standing pressed up against the wall next to a chair. So that’s how Patton got so tall all of a sudden. The second Patton sees them, he starts to gush about the performance.

“That was so good, Roman!” Patton exclaims clapping his hands in glee. He bounces on the balls of his feet, a wide smile spread across his face. “We all loved it and we’re so proud of you and it sounded so good and I think Virgil might’ve even been crying—” Virgil blushes when Roman looks at him with a shocked expression—“I’m not sure I couldn’t see through my own tears. But for real it was so good, like, I can’t even believe it was put on by high schoolers—” Logan places a hand on Patton’s shoulder. The action confirms to Virgil that Logan definitely has some sort of crush on Patton; Logan never really touches anyone in any way, with the occasional exception of Virgil. 

“Sorry,” Patton says, grinning sheepishly. Roman chuckles and looks at Patton, appreciation covering his face.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you came. All of you.” Roman’s smile at him, although no more than a few seconds, makes butterflies erupt in Virgil’s stomach. He smiles back hesitantly, an intense debate going on in his head.

C’mon, tell him how much you liked it! one side says. 

No! He won’t think it’s sincere. He’ll just figure you’re copying Patton, the other says back. 

Maybe he will take it seriously! Maybe then you’ll have a better chance with him!

Better chance? You don’t actually like him, do you?

Of course he does! The butterflies, dreams, that’s the only logical conclusion!

Shut up, Virgil interrupts. I’ll tell him good job, but as a friend. Because I don’t like him. He’s still Roman Princeford. Have you all forgotten what happened freshman year? That ends the argument in its tracks. He gathers his courage, a rolling knot of apprehension twisting in his stomach.

“Yeah, it was really good, Roman,” Virgil compliments. “Although, Patton, you didn’t need to freaking snitch on me and how I was crying.” Patton shrugs, like ‘What can you do?’ Virgil chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Wait, you were actually crying?” Roman asks. When Virgil turns back to look at Roman, he bursts out laughing at his face. It’s filled with complete and utter shock, eyes wide, mouth in a small, disbelieving ‘o’ shape. It seems so much like a face a cartoon character would make that Virgil can’t control his laughter. “What?”

“Your—Your face—” Virgil manages between wheezes. Roman punches Virgil in the arm.

“Stop. That’s not nice.” His words sound angry, but he’s smiling and his tone — and punch — are light. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Virgil says, taking deep breaths to hold the laughter in. “It was just so comically shocked. But yes. I did actually cry. And don’t seem so surprised this time.” 

“Honestly, your laugh was more surprising. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that. It’s a nice sound,” Roman admits, his face filled with something that seems awfully close to adoration. But then he blinks, and his smile is just an ordinary, million-dollar, Roman Princeford smile. It wouldn’t matter if he said it with contempt, because the compliment would’ve still sent a flood of warmth through Virgil. His heart is racing, but this time, not out of panic. 

Tearing his eyes away from Roman and trying to inconspicuously grit his teeth, which is no easy feat, Virgil thinks, What is going on? It’s just a compliment. It’s not like you have a crush on him or anything. 

“Anyway,” Roman starts, addressing the whole group, “I better go find my parents so they can fawn over me like I’m next Lin-Manuel Miranda or Leslie Odom Jr.” Upon seeing everyone’s blank looks, his eyes widen and he says, “Hamilton stars? Only some of the best singers to ever step foot on Broadway? Voices like goddamn angels who can, for some reason, also rap?” When everyone shakes their head, he sighs. “I swear, you guys must be living under a rock. But anyway, Imma head out. We’ll meet by door 10 at, say, 9:00, for the sleepover?” 

Patton and Logan nod their heads and immediately start talking to each other, Patton’s hands moving animatedly.

“Sleepover?” Virgil asks. 

“Yeah, Patton and I have a tradition where after every show or any big event with one of our activities, we have a sleepover. Even if it went terribly. He didn’t tell you?” Virgil shakes his head. Roman smiles and continues, “Well, you won’t want to miss it. Door 10 at 9, got it?” Once Virgil gives him confirmation, Roman turns and disappears into the crowd.

Virgil stares after him, a strange feeling welling up inside him. And this time, when the possibility of a crush comes up in his thoughts, he doesn’t dismiss it immediately. 

------------------

Virgil sits against Roman’s wall, an excessive amount of pillows behind his back, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, a comparison that Patton has already, unfortunately, made.

“I still cannot comprehend how you possibly require this immense amount of pillows,” Logan persists. He can’t stop marveling over how many pillows Roman has on his bed. It’s about the 4th time he’s mentioned it.

“Logan, dude, just let it go,” Virgil chuckles, throwing the stuffed bear next to him. It hits Logan, who’s sitting on the floor, square in the side of his head. He opens his mouth to protest, but Roman interrupts him.

“Hey, don’t throw King Snuffles. He doesn’t deserve this abuse.” Roman leans over to pick the bear off the floor. Cradling it in his arms, he glares at Virgil. 

“You named your bear King Snuffles?” Virgil questions, not all that surprised. Roman gasps and fakes being offended.

“Yes,” he replies, his voice scandalized. “And what the hell of it?” Virgil puts his hands up in surrender.

“Woah. Nothing, I guess, if you’re going to get so defensive about it.” He pulls the blanket, which fell down when he put up his hands, back around him. There’s too much on his head, so it falls in front of his face. Before he can reach up to push it up, a hand does it for him. Roman smiles at him, patting his head after setting the blanket there. Virgil rolls his eyes.

He hopes the yellow-orange LED lights and the shadows from the blanket hide the blush creeping across his cheeks. 

“I’m hungry so I’m gonna head and get snacks,” Roman announces, turning and sling his legs over the edge of the bed to stand. Patton bolts to his feet. 

“No, no, I’ll do it,” he says, clearly up to something. “And Logan will come with me.” 

“Well, actually—” Logan begins. Patton elbows him, and he changes course. “I guess I’m going with.” On their way out, Patton gives Roman an exaggerated wink. Roman, in lieu of a response, gives him an exasperated, I’m-so-done kind of look. Virgil can’t say for sure, but when Roman looks back at him, he thinks Roman’s blushing.

“So…” Roman starts, biting his lip and fidgeting with his fingers. Virgil’s never seen him look this unsure. He’s used to a confident, brash, slightly egotistical Roman. To his surprise, he almost prefers this side of Roman. 

Virgil must lose his mind for a little, because he’s definitely not acting like himself when he suggests, “Pillow fight?” and right after, grabs a pillow and flings it at Roman, whacking him in the face. 

A borderline-evil smile appears on Romans face as he says, “Oh, you’re on.” Virgil’s senses pick that exact moment to come back, but he can’t take it back now. So he does the only thing he can do: slings the pillow again. Chaos erupts, and a Virgil verse Roman pillow fight begins. 

As he throws and gets hit by pillows, Virgil laughs and yells, heart pounding, breathing in quick bursts, but this feels better than panic attacks. Happiness. It’s something Virgil doesn’t feel a whole lot since he spends most of his life stuck in a state of anxiety. It’s nice to be happy again.

He’s so lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the pillow coming towards him until it slaps him in the face. Virgil falls backwards, head landing, conveniently, on a pillow. He sits up and hits Roman with it, and they’re at it again. 

When Roman starts to fall off the bed, Virgil starts to laugh. But then he realizes that somehow, they’d gotten tangled in a blanket, and if Roman is going down, Virgil will too. Shrieking in surprise, Virgil instinctively closes his eyes as he’s yanked off the bed. A pillow hits the back of his head once he’s landed. He laughs and opens his eyes to see Roman directly under him. There’s no doubt about it now; Roman is definitely blushing. For that matter, so is Virgil. 

There’s also no way Virgil can deny his crush anymore. But that doesn’t mean he has to deal with it, right? ...Right...

Desperate to put an end to the awkwardness, Virgil stands and offers his hand to Roman. He takes it and pulls himself to his feet. They make eye contact for a second before Virgil looks down at his hands. I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d kissed him. 

Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna think about that. Don’t have to deal with that, remember?

“I, uh, wonder what’s taking Patton and Logan so long with the snacks,” Roman finally says, breaking the tense silence. Virgil wants to sigh in relief. 

Instead, he simply responds, “I’m not sure. Let’s go see.” They walk to the landing of the stairs. Strangely, there isn’t any sound coming from the kitchen. After walking down the first few steps, Virgil can see into the room. What he sees should come as a surprise, but it really doesn’t.

Apparently, trying to set up Roman and Virgil wasn’t the only reason why Patton wanted Logan to come with. Logan is pressed up against the counter, hand wrapped around Patton’s waist as they kiss. Patton’s palms hold Logan’s face, tilting it down to account for the inches Logan has on him. 

Roman, standing right behind Virgil, mutters, “Okay. Okay then.” Virgil starts to laugh but forces himself to stop so Logan or Patton don’t hear. Carefully, they creep back to the bedroom, letting them have their moment.

“So how long do you think that’s been going on for?” Roman asks once they’re back sitting on his bed, Virgil back to being wrapped up in his blanket cocoon again.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Virgil admits. “I kinda figured Logan had a crush on Patton, but I didn’t think they would actually get together, at least not this soon.”

“Yeah ever since their chemistry project, Patton's been crushing on Logan hard. He doesn’t shut up about it. Apparently,” Roman says, leaning in conspiratorially, “they’ve been talking a lot. Patton’s been so tired lately cuz they’re up til, like, 1 AM, video chatting.”  

“That is news to me.” Virgil pauses, staring at the door. The two of them sit in silence for a while — comfortable silence — just waiting for Patton and Logan to reappear with the snacks they were supposed to be bringing. After about 10 more minutes, Virgil turns to Roman and asks, “Do you think I should call them up? They’ve been down there for an awful long time.”

“Yeah. The last thing I want is for them to have sex on my kitchen counter.” Virgil winces at the image that appears in his head at the words.

After Roman yells down to Logan and Patton, Virgil says, “Oh, god. Please never say anything like that again. I do not need that image in my head.” Roman laughs. 

“An image of what?” Patton asks, walking in the room with Logan not far behind. Thankfully, they had the decency to pretend like they weren’t just making out. But Patton didn’t have so much decency to pretend like he hadn’t been eavesdropping on their conversation. They drop a few Halloween-size, assorted candy bulk bags and two big bowls of popcorn on the bed. 

“Nothing,” Virgil answers, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth. “Ooh, Sour Patch Kids.” He grabs four individual bags of them and drops them in his lap. 

“Jeez, hungry much?” Roman teases. Virgil flips him off and takes another handful of popcorn. Roman tries to sneakily grab a handful of mini bars from the bag of chocolate-based candy, but Virgil notices.

“Jeez, hypocritical much?” he quips, smirking. 

“Oh, fuck off,” Roman responds, sticking his tongue out like a little kid. Virgil sticks his out right back. Patton, who, unsurprisingly, hates swearing, quickly attempts to change the subject.

“Hey, I have an idea! Let’s play Two Truths, One Lie! Then we can get to know each other better!” he suggests. The rest of them agree, and Patton goes first. They take turns, occasionally sharing stories and facts about themselves. And when they get bored of Two Truths, One Lie, they switch to Truth or Dare, and Virgil has to eat a spoonful of mayo.

Patton’s the first to fall asleep. Not long after, around 2 AM, Roman and Logan follow. Virgil sits wrapped in his blanket cocoon in the darkened bedroom. He stares out the window at the dim stars, thinking about how lucky he is. He has three great friends who he can make memories and laugh with.

He turns to look at Roman, asleep on the bed beside him. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for surprising me.”

[amjcpvr]

Green Apple, Sadly.

“Green Apple for sure!” He calls out.

Guessing Skittle flavors is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my fucking life.

“Wrong!” I cackle and he continues to name the rest of the flavors, one after the other until he only has one choice left.

“Damn it, it was orange!” He cries and I laugh at him.

He scrunches his eyebrows at me, immediately bringing his competitiveness out. I smile, because this is definitely the Changbin I know.

He yells at me to close my eyes and I laugh before obeying and putting my palm out.

“If you get this right, I will say it’s wrong anyway,” he jokes, I hear the class go silent and he laughs nervously as he faces the professor.

“Haha, just kidding, guys, it was a joke,” I can’t help but to laugh because I can just see him fidgeting in his seat after suddenly being the center of attention.

“Grape!” I easily say as I swivel the small candy in my mouth. He groans and marks down another tally mark for the amount I got correct.

“Ten for ten!” I brag to him and he just rolls his eyes with a small smile.

I am about to place another skittle in his hand when he opens his mouth with his eyes closed.

“I think my sweaty palms are taking away the flavor, put it in my mouth!” He exclaims as he eagerly opens his mouth even wider.

My eyes widen and I tense up for a moment.

I have never felt this way before. My stomach begins feeling queasy and the back of my neck begins sweating like crazy.

I gulp and smile nervously.

I toss it into his mouth, carefully planning every angle so I don’t have to touch his lips.

“Strawberry?” He asks unsurely and looks at me with hopeful eyes.

I shake my head no with a big grin and he stomps his feet childishly.

He begins whining and I feel my chest squeeze. What was this feeling?

————————

“Hey! I’ve been meaning to introduce you two!” Changbin runs up to me and I smile the best I can because I already know what’s coming.

“This is her, babe,” He continues and the beautiful girl standing next to him smiles brightly. She’s everything he told me about.

I feel my lips shake and I clear my throat and try to compose myself.

I guess it’s my fault for working at a movie theatre.

“Nice to meet you! He literally never stops talking about you! Boy is whipped!” I try joking and it seems they both buy it.

They burst out into laughs and share a sweet kiss.

I hear someone clear their throat and their attention goes to my coworker now, Jisung. Who is also Changbin’s friend.

“Bro, order or get out of the line,” Jisung sternly says but Changbin takes no offense and instead laughs before ordering and I am finally free from that torture.

Why me?

————————

“Go team!” Someone sarcastically comments as they spot the baseball team walk by with their letterman’s jacket on. The school had organized a send off for their upcoming competition.

I keep my eyes wide as I search for the only guy I care for on the team. I start to get worried because he does not show up at all and almost the whole team has passed already.

Finally, I see him in the back walking with his girlfriend and Jisung. My smile shrinks visibly but I cannot take my eyes off of the sight anyway. He looks amazing in that jacket and he walks confidently, taking in his sudden moment of fame.

We meet eyes and he smiles widely. I want to look away but I can’t. It’s like he has bewitched me.

He raises a hand and waves it wildly. I send him a small smile and two thumbs up before mouthing out a ‘good luck’ and he responds with a loud ‘thanks’.

Something about that interaction is unmatchable to anything else. How was he able to spot me in such a huge crowd? Why did he reply to me when he was with his girlfriend?

He shouldn’t give me false hope.

————————

“They say you find your soulmate before you even turn 21,” he randomly comments as we sit beside each other studying.

“They say you should shut up and study,” I groan back. I am currently stressed with all these numbers and signs and this stupid calculator that has one too many functions.

“Do you think you’ve found yours?” He asks as he doodles around his notes, completely ignoring my words.

“I think you should study,” I repeat. I really do need to study because I’m failing class, but of course there is another reason for why I want him to be quiet, as well.

He seems to be bringing this type of thing up a lot nowadays and I am not comfortable with it at all.

“I think I’ve found mine,” he cryptically says but even the little ant walking on the table knows who he is talking about. The sparkle in his eyes gives it away easily.

“I’m going to my dorm, bye,” I comment and leave.

I should’ve never let the feelings get to me.

————————

“I don’t appreciate you talking about me behind my back,” I growl as I stare at him and even though I am mad pissed, I am also strongly hurt.

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” he easily accepts defeat and that just makes me even more mad.

“What were you talking to Seungmin about?” I ask as I increase our distance each time he wants to decrease it.

“It’s n-nothing,” he stutters. That means whatever they were talking about would make me very disappointed or even more pissed.

“Tell. Me.” I demand and he sighs.

He lowers his head as if he is ashamed of himself and takes a deep breath.

“He told me it looked like you were coming onto me and, honestly, I felt it too,” he whispers out. The answer is barely audible and I have to lean in to hear him clearly, but when I hear what he says I become a statue.

It is true. It is a hundred percent true and I have no right to call him out for it.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Changbin?” I have no right, but I do it anyway.

“I know! I’m sorry, I really am. I was stupid to even think about it,” he hurriedly says before I can burst on him.

“Is that why you’ve been asking me all these stupid questions? Our first impressions, soulmates, ideal type of boyfriend?” I roar as this time I walk towards him and he backs up.

“I can’t believe you think of me like that,” I laugh cynically and shake my head.

“I’m just an easy girl who loves breaking relationships up, huh? You happened to be my next victim so you were trying to catch me before I began to ruin your relationship. Thanks a lot,” I continue and glare straight at him.

His back hits the wall and I realize that he is not trying to defend himself and he’s just taking the hits.

“Don’t ever talk behind my back again,” I say and then I am out of there as if I was never there.

I realize that I need to maintain my distance from now on.

For everyone’s sake.

————————

“Does it hurt?” Jisung asks me out of nowhere.

I look at him weirdly and question what he means with my eyes.

“When he talks about his girlfriend in front of you?” He clarifies and I nod to acknowledge that I understood now.

“Yes, but it wakes me up. We’re so close to each other that sometimes I forget he’s taken. It makes me remember I have no chance with him and to stay in my lane,” I reply with a shrug as if my heart isn’t breaking into a million pieces just by thinking about it.

When he talks about her his eyes light up and he can go on for hours about her. He’s so proud of her and so whipped for her. She is everything to him. I stand zero chance. Always did, always will.

“That sucks,” he comments and ruffles his hair.

I chuckle. Oh yes indeed.

————————

“Dude, why have you been so distant?” He asks. We are currently in our criminology lecture and the professor is going on and on about how his wife is cheating on him.

“Honestly?” I ask him. I didn’t want to tell him the truth but that’s all I could tell him. No more lies.

I’m going to look like a fool, completely going against everything I had yelled at him for only a couple weeks earlier. But around him, I am always the fool anyway.

He nods as if that was an obvious factor to include.

“I…” I hesitate and look away from his stare.

He always looks at me straight in the eyes and I hate that about him. He never gives me an opportunity to defend myself. He knows I am weak to his beautiful dark eyes.

“I started catching feelings and I couldn’t handle it. It would just bring problems to everyone, so I decided to put some space between us,” I say looking straight back at him. He wants the truth? Well here it is.

He sits there shocked for what seems like forever before he finally clears his throat and looks away.

I gulp because even though I seemed sure of my decision and insisted on telling the truth, I was very insecure from that reaction.

He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the class and when it finally ends we leave without saying goodbye to each other.

This is for the best.

————————

“Congratulations, you guys made it! Good luck in your next semester, or in life, whichever is next for you all!” The professor ends class and I smile.

Finally, we can have time off, something I’ve longed for since Changbin and I had parted ways.

After the day I confessed, we stopped, everything.

No more sitting by each other, no more catching up, it was like we were never even friends.

I still see him sometimes, but always from afar.

I look over to him. He’s sitting beside Jisung, finishing up something on his laptop before closing it and standing.

I stay seated and pull my phone out pretending to be busy.

“I’ll, I’ll catch up to you later,” he tells Jisung and I gulp as I feel Jisung turn to me.

Jisung simply agrees and exits the lecture hall.

Finally, I stand and begin walking across my row to exit the room.

I see him out of the corner of my eye, getting closer, so I increase my speed.

Things were finally going to be okay again, why did he want to ruin it?

“Hey! I’m sorry!” He yells right as the door closes. I run out before he even has a chance of speaking to me.

I see Jisung standing by the door and he only hands me a tissue before walking away.

I hurriedly run in the opposite direction before Changbin could find me again.

Now, it was truly over.

Finally.

Sadly.

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Why Can't This Be Love

Chapter 1: Here It Comes

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Click to read on Archive 

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Title - Why Can't This Be Love by Van Halen

Dedicated to @slashpalooza and @sam-i-am2468

___

Eddie’s Tuesday started out as it normally did. Half a grapefruit for breakfast, thoroughly shower, text his best friend, Richie, a stupid meme, call Mike to confirm lunch for tomorrow, work from 8am to 6pm, and come home to pour himself a glass of wine. 

Right now he was pouring 4 glasses because around 3:00pm, Beverly called asking if her and Ben could come by to tell him something exciting and that Richie had to be there too. He was not sure what they could possibly want to talk about with the two of them. Eddie tried to push down the anxiety that they might be angry about something. He was pretty sure he didn’t do anything horrible recently, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Richie! Can you help me?” Eddie shouted from the kitchen of his apartment. “I don’t have enough hands to carry everything!”

“Coming, my love!” Richie joked annoyingly. Although Eddie didn’t find it entirely annoying, it’s just Richie being ridiculous. 

His tall friend padded into the kitchen wearing his worn out leather jacket that he thought made him look cool, a print shirt with a meme on it that Eddie didn’t get, and jeans, “I know what they are going to tell us.” Richie stated confidently with a little bounce in his step. 

“Did they tell you already? That’s not fair!” Eddie said in frustration. “They couldn’t wait two more damn minutes?”

“No, I have a guess, Eds.” 

“Don’t call me Eds.”

“I think Ben finally got the courage to propose to Beverly.” Richie went on with a smile. “Or she grabbed him by the balls and told him to do it.”

Eddie snorted at the imagery and wouldn’t put it past Bev to be that aggressive but probably wouldn’t to the love of her life. “That’s wonderful if it’s the news.” 

“I bet you 50 bucks it is,” Richie challenged, “Ben was looking mighty anxious at Bill’s wedding a year ago.” 

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, “I barely remember Bill’s wedding. I was so blackedout.” 

Richie rolled his eyes dramatically, “You were stupidly mourning the loss of Myra the hydra.” Eddie cringed at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. 

“Be nice, Rich.” Eddie frowned. He pulled out a packet of thin mint girl scout cookies for all of them to snack on.  

Richie rolled his eyes as he sipped quickly from the glass of wine, clearly not finished speaking, “I don’t know why either. She was a carbon copy of your mother. Her leaving was the best thing to ever happen to you.” 

“Yes, being extremely single has done wonders for my self-esteem.” Eddie mumbled.

Richie leaned over and flicked Eddie’s nose, “You’re a catch, dummy.” 

He yelped, rubbing his nose and getting goosebumps from their intensely close position. Eddie grabbed the other two glasses, thin mints and turned on his heel to walk out of the kitchen. “Fine, 50 bucks it isn’t an engagement.” 

“Sweet! Also, those pants look good on you.” Richie pointed out following from behind him. 

Eddie’s cheeks heated up a little, he purposely wore these dark navy blue jeans because Richie always compliments them. He wondered if Richie remembered that he did this every time. Eddie doubted it. When it was just the two of them, Richie constantly tried to make Eddie feel special and wanted. Eddie suspected Richie did it because he felt sorry for him, but he couldn’t be sure. Despite knowing his best friend pretty well, he was also a huge enigma. Constantly says whatever is on his mind, does the most spontaneous - borderline suicidal - things, and keeps a smile on his face no matter what he may be feeling. 

They plop down on the couch in Eddie’s living room. His place was what Richie called a ‘clean mess’, probably the best description of Eddie ever said. He had the habit of hoarding things he didn’t really need. Piles of books on every table that he had already read, knick-knacks from trips, more candles than any one person needed on all open surfaces. He had really nice furniture that matched well in a blend of warm colors. Beverly and Ben sat in two mahogany chairs across from them, holding hands. 

Eddie placed the wine glasses on monster movie poster coasters that Richie gifted him years ago when they were teens. They grew up together and remained close throughout the years, regardless of college or moving around. In fact, Eddie had six very close friends from childhood. The group called themselves the Losers Club, a title courtesy of Richie. 

“Thanks, Eddie!” Beverly said nicely. Ben thanked him too. Richie sat beside Eddie, the side of their thighs touching as he scooted closer to hand him wine. Eddie always felt so comfortable around all his friends, they were the only ones he let be touchy with him. He used to hate germs and be easily disgusted by everything, but when the people he was closest with shared food, drinks, and beds with him, that feeling went away gradually. 

“Alright, lads,” Richie started up with a newsies kid accent. “What’s the scoop? Striking Pulitzer again?” 

“Well,” Ben’s round cheeks turned pink as he said, “We’ve got pretty big news.” Eddie observed Ben take both Beverly’s hands into his own big ones. 

Beverly was practically jumping in her seat, her flamming red short curls bouncing against the sides of her face. She shared a big smile with Ben as she blurted out, “WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!”

“FUCK YES!” Richie shouted. He flew off the couch tackling Beverly in a huge hug. 

“Please, don’t hurt my girlfrie-I mean fiancé.” Ben said softly, clearly surprised how much he enjoyed calling her that. 

Eddie got up to hug Ben tightly, saying congratulations. Beverly kissed both men before they sat back down. Eddie raised his glass. “Cheers, to two people who’s friendship, romance, and love are unparalleled.” 

They clinked glasses and drank. Richie bumped Eddie lightly, “Cheers to owing me $50.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie nodded toward the counter. “You can grab it from my wallet before you go home.” 

“You can just buy me dinner this weekend.” Richie waved his hand.

“So Rich, you know what me getting married also means?” Beverly’s eyes shined brightly at him. He looked between her and Ben, thinking. Then dawning flashed on his face. He put his glass down and stood on the couch. 

“Richie, no!” Eddie pleaded desperately. “You are going to fall! Idiot!” 

He jumped up and down like a child discovering Christmas came early. “I AM GOING TO BE DUDE OF HONOR!” 

They all laughed at his excitement. One of the things the losers club decided in their 20’s, after a particularly ugly fight about who would be who’s best man or ‘dude of honor’ in this case, was that each of them would take turns. 

So far, Bill and Stanley had gotten married. To two incredible women, Audra and Patty. Eddie was Bill’s and Bill was Stan’s best man. The rest of the sequence goes: Mike is Richie’s, Richie is Bev’s, Bev is Eddie’s, Stan is Ben’s, and Ben is Mike’s. Mike is fairly confident he won’t get married and neither will Richie, which he says is for the best as he is far too stressed as a person to get married or be a best man. 

Eddie recalled that a huge fight he had with Myra was over Beverly being his Best Woman. She shouted at him for hours that there was no reason a woman should be when he had all these guy friends. Explaining the losers club deal to her did nothing but place fuel on the fire. ‘Sometimes I think you love them more than me!’ Looking back, he most certainly did. Eddie was fairly certain he would always love the losers most in this world. Which furthered the cycle of being horribly single. Sometimes he thought he was in a polyamorous asexual relationship with 6 other people. They were too close.

Richie finished up his jumping and landed on the couch half on Eddie. “OW!” Eddie yelled. “That fucking hurt. You aren’t light enough to plop all your weight on me.” 

Richie slung an arm over Eddie’s shoulders and kissed the side of his face. “Sorry, Eds.”

Eddie wiped his face that got kissed on Richie’s shoulder, pretending to get the germs off. “Have you told everyone else?” 

“We have…” Ben begun slowly. Eddie didn’t like the tone he was using. “Stanley’s already started his best man duties.”

“Why wouldn’t you just tell us you’re getting married altogether like Bill and Stan did?” Richie said, seeming to also realize this was odd. 

“Because we have to ask a favor of you.” Ben brought his hand up to start biting his nails the way he did when he was about to deliver bad news. 

“Favor is too nice, babe. This is not a favor or a request. It is a requirement if you both want to be at this wedding.” Beverly let go of Ben’s hand to place it on her knee. She rubbed her thighs once, gearing up to tell them. Eddie had a couple guesses about what she may want to say but nothing prepared him for what it actually was, “You have to bring a date.” 

Eddie leaned back in confusion, realizing Richie’s arm was still around him so it brought them both laying back against the couch. Richie removed his arm and started fidgeting with his fingers. Eddie worried his bottom lip before saying quietly, “Why?” 

Beverly looked to Eddie with sympathy. “I’m sorry, Eddie, but we don’t want a repeat of Stan and Bill’s weddings.”

Eddie’s face immediately turned red with embarrassment. Three years ago, Stanley got married and that was around when he left his mother’s place for the third time. A year later, Bill got married and he had his break up with Myra. On both occasions, Eddie took a bad combination of too many pills and drinking more than he ever had in his life. Resulting in major blackouts and behavior he cannot remember but knows second hand from everyone what happened.

“Why do we both have to have dates?” Richie said, voice a little strained and weird.

Beverly rounded on him with no sympathy. “Because, Richard, when YOU go to weddings you fuck everyone and break shit. A date will keep you focused on that person and not be a chaotic monster with a death wish.”

Richie laughed, “If I want to be fucked by all your bridesmaids at the same time then I should be allowed to do that!”

Beverly’s voice rose higher, “That’s literally not possible, asshole! And the only bridesmaid is Kay McCall.” 

“Damn. Kay’s beautiful but I don’t screw married women.” Richie’s face scrunched up. “Does that make her a bride’s matron?”

“High morals there Richie,” Ben said trying to lighten the mood.

“You know it Ben Handsome.” He winked. 

Eddie sat there trying to word what he wanted to say carefully. As Richie continued to dig himself a deeper hole, “We are getting off-topic. I’m saying if I want to have sex with someone and have a little fun or if Eddie wants to get so drunk he mistakes your grandma for a urinal, then we should have that right.” 

This brings Eddie back, “Richie!” 

“What? Nana Denbrough thought she was at a waterpark. You’re fine.” 

He put his hands on his face and folded forward. Richie scratched his back soothingly but didn’t stop trying to defend himself. Beverly eventually got so fed up that she pulled out her phone and played a video from YouTube. 

“Exhibit A, Bill and Audra’s wedding.” She said viciously. 

Eddie groaned as he raised his head to watch the screen. Bill’s younger brother Georgie had filmed people talking about Bill and Audra. He put the most unfortunate video, starring Eddie and Richie, on the internet for the world to see. 

Video Eddie looked miserable and spaced out. Georgie had to say his name three times before Eddie looked up and hiccuped. “Oh hey, Georgie!” Video Eddie said enthusiastically. “Having fun kiddo?” 

“I’m 21, Eddie. Not really a kid anymore.” Georgie’s voice said laughing. 

“Stay a kid forever,” Eddie begged him.

“Ok, Eddie. What do you want to say to Bill and Audra?” 

“Bill...I want you to know that you are the bravest man alive and I would die for you. Audra, you better be good to him.” Video Eddie points at the camera and almost falls forward. Suddenly, video Richie appears, catching him. He giggles bopping video Richie on the nose and keeping his face precariously close to video Richie’s face. 

Video Eddie frowns suddenly and looks back at the camera, “But don’t fall too too in love. You might get your heart broken like me. Love is dumb. Women are dumb. They don’t really care about you.” 

Video Richie had his hair slicked back and was laughing at video Eddie’s truths, “Eds! This day isn’t about you. It’s about Bill and Audra. We should be telling stories about them!”

“Oh god,” Eddie said as his stomach turned reliving the next part again. 

“So Audra, let me tell you about Bill’s first time. He had a girlfriend in high school, blonde and pretty, much like yourself and they were dating for about…” 

Video Eddie hiccups, “4 months.” Then smashes his face into video Richie’s neck. “You smell like whiskey.” He winces.

Video Richie laughed, cheeks reddening from drunkenness, “Thank you, Eds. When they decided to fuck for the first time, he got everything all set and she came over that evening. As he was eating her out.” 

“Richie, kids could see this.” Video Georgie warned through obvious laughter.

“As Bill was going downtown on her hoo-hoo she got a little too excited and shat the bed.” All three men were shrieking with laughter. Video Eddie wrapped his arms around video Richie, shaking uncontrollably with glee. Despite the horribleness of the situation, Eddie smiled a little. “Now it’s unclear where all the crap ended up but we can guess that…”

Beverly stopped the video glaring at Richie intently. Eddie looked at him and he only smiled. “We won’t even get into the nuclear mess that was Stanley and Patti Uris’s wedding right now. But we want you both to have a date so there is no chance of you completely embarrassing me, Ben, and yourselves.” 

Eddie scoffed, “Richie embarrasses himself on every date he goes on. What makes you think one brought to the wedding will be any better?” 

“Oh yeah?” Richie gazed at him steadily. Eddie braced himself for the incoming insult. As much as he could dish it, he rarely could take it. Especially against Richie’s quick tongue, “And when was the last time you even fucking went on a date to embarrass yourself?” 

“I can get dates!” 

“A night alone with your right hand isn’t a date.”

“Shut the fuck up, Trashmouth!” 

Suddenly, two armchair pillows smacked the side of Eddie and Richie’s heads. They both rounded on Beverly and Ben but the stare of death Beverly was giving stopped their prepared protests. 

“If you assholes want to come to my wedding,”

“Our wedding…” Ben whispered.

She turned her ever reddening face, almost the color of her hair, at her financé, “Not if you correct me, Benjamin! Don’t make me marry myself!” She focused back on Eddie and Richie, pointing a bitten nail at them menacingly. “...you will have dates and BEHAVE at the reception or so help me, I’ll castrate you!” 

There was a pregnant pause broken by the one who can never stay quiet long. “What about the ceremony?” Richie responded, “Can I at least ruin that?”

She stared at him, everyone ready for more yelling but instead she broke into a gorgeous smile and laughed. It lightened the moment but Eddie didn’t find he felt any less anxious. He fully contemplated this enormous request from his friends. Finding a good wedding date took time, he only ever had committed relationships. Well, the one with Myra. As much as Richie’s words hurt, he was right. Eddie didn’t go on dates. People didn’t tend to find him datable. “Too short, too high maintenance, too weird” were just a few of the flaws that consumed him. He had no clue how he was expected to get someone to go to this wedding with him. 

The four of them started discussing wedding details, Beverly and Richie talking a mile a minute about everything that had to get done. He was especially excited to plan a bachelorette party. With how much money Ben and Bev make, it sounded like they would get their dream wedding easily. 

Eddie was thrilled for them but that pang of being single and now having to find a date was eating him alive for the two more hours they stayed. When they finally called it a night, Beverly and Ben hugged them promising to talk tomorrow. 

Richie did not follow them out which meant he wanted to drink and talk more, probably spend the night there. Eddie had a guest room that was essentially Richie’s room since he spent the most time there. 

“You want ice cream?” Richie shouted from the kitchen where he was most likely opening another bottle of wine. 

“With chocolate syrup!” Eddie yelled back. 

“Oh, chocolate syrup night means major troubles.” Richie laughed. 

“What are we gonna do Rich?” Eddie whined miserably. “Or rather, what the fuck am I going to do?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“About the fucking dates!” Eddie laid sideways on the couch, grabbing the cushion pillow and placing it over his face to scream into. 

“Don’t be a drama queen.” Richie said. The couch shifted as he sat down by Eddie’s legs. 

“That’s easy for you to say.” Eddie mumbled into the pillow. 

Two hands extracted the pillow from his face. Eddie kept his eyes scrunched closed. “I can’t speak pillow.” 

Eddie huffed out, “It’s easy for you to not be worried. You are a serial dater.” 

“Open your eyes, Eds.” Richie chuckled. Eddie opened them to pout childishly at him.

He had his smirky smile on, which could only mean he had a terrible idea. “I have a great idea to get us out of getting actual dates.”

Eddie stared at him from his laid down position, probably giving Richie an unattractive double chin, “There is no loophole in this agreement, Rich. Beverly was really fucking clear. We have to have dates.” 

“And we will.” Richie poured wine into both their glasses. He handed it to Eddie, forcing him to sit up in order to drink it. While Eddie drank normally, Richie downed his quickly then licked his lips. 

“Who am I gonna have to take to Ben and Beverly’s wedding?”

Richie watched him carefully, opened his mouth and said, “You’ll take me. I will be your wedding date. And by default, you will be mine” Eddie’s mouth dropped and Richie clinked his empty glass with Eddie’s full one.

______________________

In honor of IT: Chapter 2 coming out soon, I have begun writing this fake dating idea! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, comment here or on archive and let me know your thoughts and feels! The title is thanks to Slashpalooza on tumblr who asked me a million years ago to write something with this title!

Tag List (Starting a new tag list since I don’t know who is still around in the fandom. Let me know if you want to be tagged):

@sarah011 @pan-ini @frankeeenstein @sam-i-am2468 @eds-kas @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @roobarrtrashmouth @hypnoidvoid @imeddie @slashpalooza @reddieforlove