#like maybe not all of them but some at least... its not like it matters

[peanutalergy]

child-free - s.r. × reader

reader doesnt want kids and thats the whole thing. hurt/comfort ? i think? i don't know sorry i'm a little drunk. fem!reader, husband!spencer, i imagined this as post-prison but i don't think it matters. i don't know. i hate this. sorryyyy

w/c: educated guess 950.

a/n: sorry i hate this i'm a little intoxicated and i have been since opening google docs. actually since before then. anyway requested here !! (lowkey recommend reading the request to know what this is about because i don't even think i know anymore) are the kids' names right? i don't know. idek what im doing with my life anymore bro.

a pair of baby boots at target.

this is the kind of thing you're supposed to discuss with your partner before even getting into a serious relationship.

you were sure you would've had the conversation with spencer before getting to this point. you had it all planned out in your mind, but he was down on one knee before you even brought up the idea of babies.

everyone knows he's great with children, and he never did much to hide how much he'd like to be a father. every day you've been with him, you hated that you could never give that to him.

maybe something within you hoped it would go away. maybe if you were married for long enough. maybe some second puberty would come to make you crave babies instead of just sex like the first one did. maybe you'd wake up some day and the feeling would be gone.

but seeing all of your friends give birth and tell their stories about it only made the fear worse.

now you have a husband who doesn't know about it.

maybe he has a feeling. maybe he can tell by the way you shut down whenever the subject is even remotely referenced. maybe he hears the subtle shake in your voice, the one you barely even notice, when you talk about jack, henry, and michael. he is a profiler, after all. maybe he knew it all along and he was fine with it.

no matter how much you tell yourself that, your heart drops when you see him being the way he is with kids.

a pair of pink baby boots, bunny ears and a red nose that make it almost a good idea. you're sure you would've loved them as a kid.

going shopping isn't a good choice if you're not in a good mood. from behind, his hands wrapping around your waist startle you just enough to get your eyes away from the boots that you wish came in a bigger size.

“they're out of the toothpaste we always get,” he rests his chin on your shoulder, “what're you looking at?”

you shrug. you try to ignore the hint of a smile you can hear in his voice when he spots the shoes in your hand, “these were just, uh… misplaced.”

“they're cute.” he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck (since when is he so into pda? since when does it make you uncomfortable?).

you try to let out a laugh, but all that comes out is a stiff huff of air. putting them aside, you grab whatever it was that you came to this aisle for, “the, uh… the other toothpaste is fine.”

he doesn't bring up your silence after that. not until nighttime, at least.

he wears the kind of t-shirts a (very nerdy) dad would wear to bed. not even the thought of him wearing them while making breakfast for the kids with his face makes it feel like a good idea.

“what's going on with you?”

“hm?”

“you've been quiet since the store.” and you stay quiet, now. “c'mon, angel. tell me, what's on that pretty head of yours?”

he can tell when you take a minute to think, and he gives it to you. warmer hands gently rub circles on your back as he waits for you to speak up, “i don't want to have kids.”

the silence makes you wonder if he's about to call a divorce lawyer. “okay.”

“okay?” you lift up your head from its designated spot, tucked under his chin, and you look at him with brows knitted together in surprise.

“yeah, okay.”

“you… you don't– i mean, you don't want to be a dad?”

“i don't have to be a dad.”

“spencer, you love kids.”

propping himself up on one elbow, he nods and looks at you with a reassuring smile, “i love you more.”

he lets out a small chuckle at your dumbfounded expression. there's another moment of silence, during which you examine his face and try to tell if he's lying, before he speaks up again, voice all love and honesty.

“i can't ask you to have children just because it's something i want.” kindly cutting your response off, he doesn't let you argue, “if i was so adamant on that, i would have made sure to talk to you about it before we got married. i'm not with you just because i want kids. i’m with you because of you. and i want to have the family you want. i don't want them, if you don't.”

foolishly, you didn't think he'd agree so easily. you find yourself stuck on trying to find something to say. what if you do, eventually? goes through your mind, but he's speaking again before you can even open your mouth.

“motherhood isn't the only part of being a woman, it's not even the biggest one. you don't have to be a mom, and i don't have to be a dad.”

how is he even real?

the lump in your throat, that is, for once, the good kind, makes it hard to speak. so, you wrap you hand around his neck and you kiss him in a way you can only hope expresses all the love you feel for him – you wouldn't be able to put it into words, anyway.

his warm breath brushes against the top of your hair, soft voice comforting all the fears that still linger even after you pull away.

finally, when he kisses your forehead, you don't get the bitter taste in your mouth imagining the disappointment he'd feel knowing he won't ever do that with your kid. you just feel the sickeningly sweet sensation of his skin on yours.

henry and michael don't get the friends jj said they would from you and spencer, but sergio surely does love the dogs and cats you both call your children.

[dough09]

Mini Highland Cows

 incase you don’t know who they are, PLEASE look them up. THEY ARE SUPER CUTE.         Also instagram is infected by them (for valid reasons!)... at least my page Itoshi sae x reader Summary: You are obsessed with the fluffy mini highland cows on social media so you make a presentation for Sae, just to persuade me. Yet he just won't budge... or will he? plus he learns that you've been spying on him uNinteNTionAllY

Sae knew you were chronically online. Oh yes, he had experience too. His PR team constantly mentioned that you shouldn’t post so much about his private life, so you stopped. By stopping you just went in the shadows and posted pictures on a private account no one except you and Sae knew about.

Naturally by spending most of your time there your feed swarmed with cute and fluffy cows. Each time you at least send Sae about 30 posts. Daily. You obsessed over them while talking about nothing with him.

Begging him to get one for you also became part of the usual, same old routine. Yet he never complied. He said it’s a hassle and he won’t keep an animal in his apartment. Let alone a cow.

It didn’t matter if you wanted a dog, a cat, a parrot, or even a fish. He always mumbled that “It’s a hassle, and who's gonna feed them? You?” He knew that eventually it’d be his responsibility to clean its dirty stuff away, take care of them etc. You’d just give them all the love.

So when today you didn’t let him into the house unless he got you a cow he got really ticked off. He already had a long and shitty day, and now you. He loved you dearly but your absurd ideas often annoyed him.

“Say you’ll get me one!! Pleasee” you looked at him with puppy eyes. “No.” he tried pushing you out of his way. “You seriously won’t let me go inside my home? Just to be clear, I’m paying for this place..parasite.” He glared. Not meaning half of those words. “That’s mean.”

He only shrugged and picked you up to finally come in. “Try and persuade me then- to get you that cow-” What he didn’t expect was a full on presentation in the living room. “Why is getting a mini, warm, soft and cute Highland cow is totally worth it” so the title read.

He took a deep breath knowing this will be a long few minutes. He prayed it won’t be hours. It’s also useless, he will never give in, maybe to a smaller animal yes, but not to a cow.

“So first of all, their appearance should speak for itself- but that never made you excited, sooo here’s a few fun facts. These highland cows can produce milk- only a few gallons, so less than their bigger cousins but you can make cheese and butter from it…” So on and so forth. You rambled like this was the day of your life.

He swore he felt his eyelids closing at one point. The videos you showed did make him smile a little, but it wasn’t enough. “Say, cariño, do you really want to lock a cow here? In this apartment? Without grass and only a few “edible” flowers? Do you really think he’d be happy here?” He countered. Always wanted to ask you that but he was worried it might really make you upset- and he couldn't bear to see you cry. But dire situations, call for dire measures.

“W-well…that’s.. I’ll take him for walks-” “You want to take a cow, on walks? In Madrid?” 

Silence. Utter silence filled the room. He raised his brow expecting an answer while knowing you can’t.

“I mean no.. but then- then promise me to get a cow when we move-” “Who said we are moving?” he squinted his eyes suspiciously. “I saw your phone- and I saw.. houses” He sighed. “When did you go through it?” “I didn’t!!! I just…saw.” He nodded like he never believed a word.

“Whatever, we are moving because some fans discovered this place, only a few streets down though.” “oh..sorry.” “You are hopeless, don’t say sorry for such trivial things, it was bound to happen.” He opened his arms and gestured for you to come closer.

You sat onto his lap and he enveloped you into his chest. After a few seconds of embracing each other you spoke. “Soo…can I have a cow?” “Sure.” “but- WAIT WHAT? REALLY?!” “Obviously not. Look I had a long day, I’m exhausted, I came home and you are annoying me.” 

“Sorry Sae” “Yeah it’s not that I care just…”

“Fine, no need to get a cow.” He rolls his eyes and hides a smile into your neck. “Can I still have a cat?” you mumbled softly. “Y/N” he groaned.

[smtmsthnk]

the more I think about, the more i realize that maybe the problem all along was not that some reader don't understand the conflicts in mdzs (sometimes, that too) but that they don't understand the sheer scope of conflict

it is easier for readers to comprehend internal conflicts and while there are internal conflicts in the story they are ultimately not the reason behind the tragedy of wei wuxian's first life and the wen remnants' fate and consequent slaughter. to put it in other words: the first siege was not the result of wei wuxian's direct action or inaction, it was a part of systematic issue of the jianghu and their ostracization of wei wuxian and the wen remnants

and i also know that many ppl want wei wuxian to have a happier ending in his first life. wouldn't it be better if he and everyone who he loved were alive and safe and unharmed? and it is far easier to imagine a fix-it plot when the problem is on the actions of the individual. wouldn't the situation change if only character A did this? won't there be a happy ending if only the villain died earlier?

and don't get me wrong: i love myself a fix-it fic and i like a lot of them for mdzs. but this post isn't about fics

so, returning to the previous point: it is far easier to blame the individual. but the main conflict in mdzs is not an internal one, it's an external conflict: a man vs the world, a man vs society. and mxtx shows us that in this kind of conflict, the man and his ambitions will always perish: whether it be wei wuxian or xiao xingchen or even mianmian and lan wangji who tried to defend wei wuxian (lan wangji spoke in wei wuxian's defence several times, but did anyone listen? no). she is very realistic in this, actually, and i love her messages and ideas specifically in mdzs as they are the closest to my own

mdzs is a very realistic novel in general: even though headcanons and fanons about "modao" and how it was corrupting wei wuxian and the yin hufu being a cursed artifact with its own mind are very prevalent in the fandom, it's not like that at all in the novel. there are no voices coming from the yin hufu which want wei wuxian to kill anyone and everyone and drive him mad. wei wuxian doesn't even use modao and guidao isn't the reason for his unstable mental state but rather all the truly horrific and terrible situations that he was faced with in such a short term i'm left wondering if there is anyone else who could have lived through all of this like he did

but i digress. my main point: i don't deny that there are internal conflicts in mdzs, but the reason behind the tragedy of the first siege, the slaughter of the wen remnants, wei wuxian's death — the reason for all of this is a systematic issue born from the privilege and hypocrisy of the jianghu and its ruling class, not a consequence of an individual's action or inaction. the system put in place will always be much more sturdier than one person's claims

wei wuxian in front of all the clans accuses the jin clan and specifically jin zixun of kidnapping and using violence against the wen clan remnants, and no one bats an eye. mianmian speaks for wei wuxian, saying that killing four guards who were abusing the prisoners is not senseless slaughter, and she is put down and her words are dismissed as she is just "a maiden madly in love". lan wangji also speaks for wei wuxian, and without anyone's support, not even his clan's or brother's, his words are silenced and spoken over and dismissed without further notice

hell, even wen ning: jin guangshan organised a public execution and no one questioned jin guangyao why wen ning was alive and well and summoned on dafan mountain!

the main external conflict is the jianghu's hypocrisy and blindness and prejudice and "at least it doesn't happen to me so it doesn't matter" mentality and how the characters choose to conduct themselves and what choices they make in this kind of society and how it reacts back on these choices

[libertarianbean-plz-dont-step-sh]

Initial disclaimer: didn't read anything you wrote in response to the others in this reblog chain because I was honestly supposed to be in bed an hour ago, so I just can't, man.

I mean I agree with what you said in your response to my point?

I know everything is chemicals, I'm studying chemistry in uni amongst other courses, so I am quite aware of the mechanics of... Life? So, for example, if I said I put sodium hydrogen carbonate in the cake I made you, you'd probably be reconsidering the pros and cons of eating a slice. But that's just baking soda. Not as scary sounding.

Fun fact! That example was brought to you (and me) by Ann Reardon! I have been subscribed to her channels for at least 6 years by now, and I watch all her videos, the one you attached included! So, again, yeah, I am aware and I agree.

I think the misunderstanding in this was caused by me talking about those "evil chemicals", when I was just paraphrasing things I've heard for years that I was criticising.

You then said that it's not correct to say that Europe bans harmful ingredients while the US allows them. But you kinda contradict yourself with your next paragraph?

Correct me if I interpreted what you wrote wrong, but the jist of it is that Europe tends to ban more things, even if it's not 100% sure they are harmful, because it tends to err on the side of caution, while the US strategy is different.

Now, I'm not here to argue who is more correct in its approach because I'm not qualified to do so, nor am I claiming that this way the EU has absolutely banned everything that is harmful. But it does imply that they certainly do so more than the US, who has a more lax approach.

I think a good example of the difference between the US and EU is your radioactive-looking, red-orange Fanta and our pale-orange/yellow, orange juice-colored Fanta, and how it's essentially waterdowned, carbonated, sweetened orange juice.

And for the last point about sugar. Yes, I also agree with that. Obviously. That's just how that works. [That would be the job of the parents, rather than the government, as it can't force parents not to make their kids drink coke (it CAN force them not to snort it though. Isn't that weird?) ]

But the word sugar as we commonly use it refers to sucrose, which is in the same family as fructose, glucose, lactose. So using less or no high-fructose corn syrup IS using less sugar.

Again, not a food scientist. I'm not nearly qualified enough to propose what to use instead.

But my point in my post was never to suggest an alternative, nor, as a matter of fact, to claim that one approach is better than the other. As you said, the US does better in some aspects and the EU in others.

All I was doing was fucking tweaking about having to hear whining for YEARS about how the US is supposed to be more like Europe, only for those same people to whine AGAIN when it does just that.

I don't care who's right or wrong, I care about inconsistencies.

I think being coherent is maybe even more important than being right about a certain aspect.

Because it's incredibly difficult to be right about something, and if you are completely honest to yourself, you will never truly know if you are right about a certain topic, it's basically impossibile. But what you CAN be certain of, is if your logic is consistent or not. That is something you can know

(that means you can be consistently wrong, but still, it's better than being inconstant AND wrong)

I can think of a hundred things we could do to improve our collective health a hundred fold more than replacing sugar with a slightly different sugar that breaks down to be the same sugar in our bodies.

Free cancer screenings.

Eliminating food deserts.

Free vaccines.

Free birth control.

Drug treatment.

Naloxone to anyone who wants it.

Okay, I am too tired to do one hundred. But I'm sure I could.

[factual-fantasy]

25 asks! Thank you! :)) 💥

How SWEET and GENEROUS he is?? ...Gorl, no.. 💔.. when I rewatched transformers prime the second time around, I had this thought running through my head during every episode I watched. Starting from episode 1,

"Okay, so I know in season 3 somewhere Knockout becomes an Autobot. I'm not sure how, but I cant wait to pick up on all the little hints and details leading up to that that make you think Knockout might not be a con/is a kind person. Like sparing someone when he wasn't supposed to, or treating someone's wounds when he didn't have to. Or deliberately letting one of the human children get away because he didn't want to hurt them. Those are all things you could make a Decepticon do to lead the viewer to think they might not be a con."

You know what we got instead? Any opportunity he's had to backstab someone, save his own skin, knock people down, hurt people, unnecessarily toy with people and upset them, get away with wrong doings and making himself look better no matter the cost to others? He absolutely took it with no hesitation.

I need some clearer evidence, like screenshots and gifs because I just do not see him as a good person. He doesn't take his job seriously or care about his patients, he just likes getting to rip people apart while being protected by the Decepticon army.

I'm not trying to start an argument or crap all over a character you seem to like- I'm just trying to say I absolutely do not know what you're talking about. I would like to have my mind changed about Knockout so I can more easily fit him into my AU as an Autobot💔So I'm open to further explanation about Knockout.

(I had planned to just completely wipe away Knockouts character and build a new personality for him because he's just Decepticon all the way to his core.)

@ardent-38 (Referencing this post)

Thank you so much! :DD And ngl that might be the only option if I wanna add Jetfire. Hmm.. I'll have to think about it..

Maybe Ravage would do that.? <XDD

Its hard to say, I can hardly remember what Gersons character is like <:/

(The gif is hidden because its not my artwork to share. Its a tall Seam grabbing a tiny Jevil by the face and yeeting him up into the sky)

They would be quite shocked and be sure to keep Jevil away from that Seam <XDD

Funny you should say that. A while ago I thought about making a comic talking about how Jangles is technically adopted because while I made the other three from scratch, I bought Jangles from a store and dolled him up.

But in the end I never finished the comic because of dried up motivation and I didn't want to give Jangles the title of "adopted". Partly because he actually lines up with other sonas of mine and sometimes looks more related to me than Bibi does. Plus idk it just didn't feel fun/right to call him that.

(Link in ask)

Bibi would be less likely do anything that annoys me. So Cici might go cause trouble with Gerald instead XD

"Why am I not on it??"

"You have no transmission.. or engine rn..."

"Oh yeah- 💀"

@florafandoms

You are right, its been so long I cant remember what inspirations I had for that comic <XD If any-

And thank you, they're gonna get tough as this depressive episode/brain fog/????/artblock gets worse. But hey I can at least try to try. 👍

Oh absolutely, with all the kids but Miko and Jack especially.

I feel like Miko never got a moment to connect with Optimus. And There was so much trust and responsibility placed on Jack that felt like it came out of nowhere. I wish he would have spent a lot more time with Optimus before that so the viewer would understand why Optimus picked him <:/

Also thank you so much! <:)))

@glitchhayden418

XDD Thank you! (?? Don't start world war 3 please💗)

I have no measurement of time when it comes to the Autobots. In human years I have no idea how old they are, how often they need to sleep, how often they need to refuel, nun of that. Do transformers even have designated sleeping times and "all nighters"??

If they do, maybe the human equivalent of 3 days..?

@badlyblurry

Prime would have been perfect if Arachnid and Breakdown had swapped places. Where Breakdown killed Arachnid instead and her remains were dragged off by MECH.

@misscherrypie (Image is from this post)

I know I should put some kind of notice thing on my phone or somewhere, but I know I wont. 🤷 I'll just forget again next year and it'll make for a funny post I guess.

And I've thought about giving them lore and making comics about them, but ultimately I don't have the motivation for that kind'a stuff anymore. At least not atm. 😔

@deimos21

I watch Markiplier and Ethan play it a little bit ago. I cant remember what the enemies were like but the little playable robots are too funny XDD

@wolfie-777

XDD "Hop". I hop your Easter was good this year too! :)

@smithanonsworld

Happy (late) Easter! :DD

Honestly fair XD

That's exactly what Bash Buggy did XDD

Ehh... I don't think so. Why would I bother talking about the fandom/series that's made me so uncomfortable? I'd rather just keep all my Octonauts artwork/opinions private.

@beryl-shade

Well for starters,,, In the humans mind they couldn't start the "car" without a key. So the bot could just stay shut down and not move until the human realized they cant start it and go away.

If they tried to hot wire the car and started prying at the plating, the bot could probably kick them out of the cab by transforming their seats and shoving them out the door with them. Then they would just drive away.

Who cares if this human runs off and tells anyone about this haunted car that drove off by itself? Is anyone gonna believe anything the whacko who tried to steal a car has to say? No reason for the bots to chase after him.

But alllllll that aside. If the human got inside and somehow "started" the car or it was already running, I can imagine the bot faking a backfire or shutting themselves down and pretending not to start until the human leaves. 👍

I have certainly heard of it, but I've never watched it <:/

AAAA THAT'S SO COOL! :DDD I hope it goes well for you! :))

(Referencing this post)

Oh yeah I forgot he did that to Bulk XD Maybe the only people he'd struggle with is Optimus, Megatron and Ultra Magnus because of their weight and fighting experience.

And I cant see TFP Ratchet ever being like that. But its crazy to hear he was like that in the comics! XDD

@silverscale (Images from this post)

Nooooo don't zoom in you can see all my coloring mistakes <XDD

[hauntingblue]

Cailtyn being so absent from arc 2 is not good... we just get the repercussions of her actions but nothing of what's going on inside her head

[frost-eyed-autumn]

There's the faintest trace of a withheld smirk as her illusion shatters and she drifts down from above, though whatever smugness he might hold for calling her illusion accurately, it's not there for long, and he's right back to business.

"The job is rather simple really. Or at least, in theory it is. Execution might be another matter."

He makes a small gesture at the person operating a computer, and the man brings up a map screen for Chuuya to direct at.

"There's another gang we've been dealing with for a while now that operates out of Sagamihara, the next city over from Yokohama. It's land-locked and half of that area extends up into the mountains, which is where we believe their main operations and assets are hidden away. They're partnered with some smugglers that they meet with on occasion along the Tokyo and Sagami Bays, which means they've also been trespassing into Yokohama to do their business and transport illegal goods between the sea and wherever they're storing them, along this route here--" he traces a finger over a long roadway marked 16.

His arms cross over his chest, shifting his weight to one leg.

"They've refused both offers to partner and warnings to stay out of Yokohama, and that's led to a few direct clashes, but trying to hit them where it hurts has proven too troublesome to commit to. Compared to us, they're amateurs, but they've been cautious to cover their tracks on exactly where they're staying and combing miles of unfamiliar woodland trying to locate them is more trouble than its worth. That's where you come in. With that copying Ability of yours, we can intercept one of their trucks at the smuggler's rendezvous point, take out and replace one of their guys, and follow them right back to their base without them suspecting a thing. Then, the rest of us can swoop in, and take down their operations once we know where to strike."

"We know they come in pairs of at least two, so we'll want to be sure to leave at least one of them alive to take you back to their base without them knowing we've traded in a substitute. The tricky part is going to be pulling this off without arousing suspicion, because its not exactly a short drive there and we have no idea exactly who they'll send, and chances are high you won't be able to just play forgetful about where you're headed and get information by asking. Likely it'll be expected that you know and are familiar with the route, so you can't let them know that you don't. You'll need to have the driver fooled until arriving at the destination, at minimum, otherwise it could blow this whole job. Maybe even future attempts to try again."

"Suffice to say, if your cover gets blown without us figuring out where they're going, you'll need to silence the driver and anyone else there to at least attempt to keep them from learning what strategy we used to get one up on them, even if we're not able to hide that it was the Port Mafia who intercepted their delivery. Additionally, because they'll be traveling along a busy national route, we need to try and limit any overt chaos. While civilian casualties can't always be avoided, we want to minimize them as much as possible to keep unwanted attention off of the organization, from either the media or law enforcement. What I'm basically saying is, crash the truck if you have to, but try to avoid a ten car pile-up and exploding cars that'll be all over the headline news if you can help it."

𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇, 𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 from... above? The copy of her disappears with her signature shattering of glass, and Neo descends from the rafters in a dive. Halfway down, she turns, opens her parasol, and drifts to the ground like an errant flower petal, dusting her arms off simply for show and bowing where she's landed not three feet from Chuuya's own face. But the pout on her face when she straightens says 'spoilsport' in a way she doesn't need to actually speak to articulate.

When he asks her about killing, she pauses, blinks, and considers.

Normally, she relishes in violence. Doesn't mind- and sometimes even enjoys- taking people out if they're in her way. However, that was the 'old' her, and if she's honest, most of the people she'd killed had simply been... in her way.

It's better when it's personal. But if they're between me and what needs to be done and there's no other way, then that's their funeral.

Because she's certainly not going to be the one to die.

That it's being brought up now is an interesting thing though. Did Chuuya think she'd agree to work for the mafia, of all things, without thinking there'd be some violence involved. Even if her feelings on it hadn't been anything she'd given much thought to, it was something she'd expected, passively. Crime was like that- sometimes, things went south, and decisions had to be made that cost people their lives. It was just that, before everything that had happened in Vale, none of it had ever mattered to her much. It still didn't, really, but she knew that kind of thinking wasn't normal.

Not that she ever had been, but it bore giving it some thought. Later, though.

Focusing on Chuuya, she asks the only other question she really needs to ask, corner of her mouth twitching.

So... what's the job?

[thewardenisonthecase]

btw tw for talking about abuse

I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)

And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.

It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.

Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.

But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.

It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.

She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.

All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.

[okitanoniisan]

no one can reach my level of petty hating about the stupid english title

[dapperrokyuu]

Needing a Sua perspective from the ALNST auditions to Round 1. I never put much thought into what happens to the cast post-Anakt Garden graduation (do they immediately go to the auditions? Is there a period of time where they dont see each other until they recognize each other at the audition? Theres a considerable amount of time between the auditions and their Alien Stage season, did they see each other often between then or...? etc.), but regardless, imagine being her and having to choose between sabotaging your own audition so you dont have to go the the Sing, Win, or Die Show or putting your in your all in hopes of winning and spending just a bit more time with this girl you love because you know itll likely be the last time you see her. Imagine...

[thesixsixsixeyes]

At first, Satoru thought he yearned for things to simply return to how they used to be—back to reckless teenage years where he felt invincible, with his best friend always by his side. But as time passed, and age carved its quiet wisdom into him, he realized that wasn’t what he truly longed for. He yearned for what could have been. A life with Suguru at his side—together, reshaping the sorcerer world into something gentler, kinder. A world where no young sorcerer would have to suffer the way they did. That dream haunted him more than any ghost.

More than anything, he just wanted Suguru back. In his life, through the chaos, through the quiet. Things didn’t need to be perfect—Satoru never asked for perfection. He only wished he'd truly been there for Suguru. To have seen the pain in his eyes and understood it. To have held space for his sorrow instead of masking it with jokes and forced smiles. It wasn’t that he was blind—he tried in his own flawed way to lift Suguru's spirit, to summon the courage to ask the questions his heart already feared the answers to.

But he hadn’t known how to say, “Talk to me. Let me carry some of that for you.” And when Suguru left, all Satoru had left was rage—rage that masked heartbreak. And now...Now, all he wanted was to prove to Suguru that he still cared. Despite everything, he was trying. They had always shared the same dream—only the paths they chose tore them apart. Maybe Satoru was too much of an optimist. But he could hope.

His lower lip trembled as he kissed Suguru like he was starving for him, like his very existence depended on it. Just as he was about to deepen the kiss, Suguru shoved the blankets over his face. A startled yelp left him, comical and abrupt—but it died in his throat, replaced by a guttural moan as Suguru enveloped him, clenching around him with exquisite pressure that made Satoru’s body jolt, arching with desperate need. Still, he fought the urge to lose control. He tried to slow it down.

A pained cry slipped out, deepening into a growl when Suguru bit into his neck. He could’ve used Infinity. Could’ve healed the mark instantly. But he didn’t. He let the pain blossom and linger, savoring the rawness. Another growl tore from his throat when Suguru pinned his hands, denying him touch. Satoru’s eyes flared with emotion at Suguru’s cold words—fury, pain, desire clashing in a storm.

He tore the blankets away just to see his face again. His expression wasn’t wounded or angry—it was determined. Stubborn. With a snarl, he flipped them over, pinning Suguru beneath him. One hand wrapped around his throat—not to hurt, but to hold, to anchor. His thrusts were slow, but punishingly deep, heavy with emotion and need. He slammed into him with a force that echoed all the things he couldn’t put into words.

“You don’t get to tell me how I feel!” he growled against Suguru’s lips, his voice breaking with passion. “Despite everything, I love you. I don’t want to go back to before—I’m not that naive, reckless teenager anymore. I want something better. And I’m trying, Suguru. I am. Just… give me time.”

His hips moved with aching intensity, each thrust driven by desperation, by love he didn’t know how to carry any other way. He dropped his head, nuzzling into Suguru’s cheek and neck, breathing him in like he could inhale the years they lost.Suguru didn’t know. He didn’t fucking know how much Satoru loved him. And even if he did, somehow it still hurt.

“At least for now,” Satoru whispered, his voice finally soft, broken with tenderness, “let me make you feel good.”

Let’s pretend nothing else matters.

Satoru sees it,right as the words leave his mouth, right as the air between them shifts into something cold and unreachable. He ruins it. He ruins whatever this was for Suguru. And the panic that floods him is immediate, overwhelming. Suguru is going to leave. He’s going to disappear again, just like before, and Satoru will be left behind with nothing but the ghost of what he could never have. And worst of all? He can't even pretend he didn’t see this coming. He’s always known. Deep down, he’s always known. Suguru never felt the same. Not like he did.So why did it still hurt this much? Why did it still feel like dying?

His own expression falters — if it hadn’t already been transparent with desperate longing, it now crumbles into something raw and agonized. He had sworn he would play along, take whatever Suguru was willing to give scraps, moments, stolen nights, and pretend it was enough. Pretend he could be content with just a body against his, instead of a heart that would never be his. But he just couldn’t help himself. He wasn’t that careless teenager anymore, the one who joked everything away, who kept his distance, who hid behind laughter and jokes. No. Now he was raw. Unfiltered. Willing to bleed, to be pathetic, to fall to his knees if it meant Suguru might look at him the way he wished he would. He didn’t care about sides. About war. About pride. About consequences. The only thing that mattered right now was Suguru.

"You had to have known," Satoru breathes, the words shaky, broken. His voice cracks in the middle, and he hates himself for it. You must have known what you mean to me. You must have known I love you.

Desperation claws at him as he reaches up, thumb stroking across Suguru’s cheek, other hand tangling in his hair, trying to pull him closer, trying to hold him here — trying to make him stay. He leans up, presses their foreheads together, breathing him in like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to.

"I don't care what you call it," Satoru says hoarsely. "If you need it to be just sex, fine. Call it that. Let it be that for you. But not for me.”

He searches Suguru’s face for something, for a crack in the armor, for anything. But all he sees is distance. A quiet, cruel kind of mercy. Suguru isn’t going to give him more. Suguru never was.Satoru swallows hard, forcing back the hurt that threatens to spill over, forcing a smile that trembles at the edges. He can still pretend, if that’s what Suguru needs.

"It can still be good," he says roughly, his hands tightening almost possessively on Suguru’s hips, dragging him flush against him. His voice drops into a low, desperate growl. "You know it can be more than good."

He crushes their mouths together, hungrily — desperate to brand himself into Suguru’s skin even if he can never touch his heart. He kisses him like he can somehow breathe life into something already dead. And through it all, the words he doesn’t dare to say thunder silently between every heartbeat… I love you. I love you. I love you.

[dullahandyke]

Who is Bláthnaid youve been Bláthnaid posting recently who is she?

Girl (gender-neutral) in my noggin <3

[thursdayg1rl]

one of the dramas from the wedding was one of the grooms cousins (on the other side not mine) just not wearing the clothes we had made for her specifically

[br1ghtestlight]

i love to make up horrible toxic fanon ships for my own ocs. its so funny 2 me and also interesting..... like every combination of characters that could conceivably happen i have thought about. some of them would 100% without a doubt make each other WORSE. some of them i genuinely think couldve worked if i had come up with them earlier and invested the time into their romantic relationship. some of them are actual jokes between my characters in "canon" bcuz specifically i think the idea of jayden thinking two is hot is funny Tbh. like he doesn't want u bro!!!!!! he barely even wants sunshine!!!!!

[thecherrygod]

/

[kisskissgotohell]

i just wanna point out that, like. it's okay to disagree with the main character. just because they're the pov of the story doesn't mean they're infallible or that their word is law? you can like that character that tried to kill the mc. you can think the mc made the wrong choice. you can forgive things that the mc would never forgive, or choose not to forgive things that the mc does, because you're not the main character. you are the reader of the story, and just because you can't change it (and it's not the author's responsibility to capitulate to fans) doesn't mean you can't form your own opinions about it. it's fictional! that's the point! have fun with it!!