kkochigomi - Tumblr blog

kkochigomi · 5 hours ago

Text

the ultimate guide to f***ing nomin

teaser

PAIRING: reader x jeno + jaemin

GENRE: producer!mc, smut, humor

ESTIMATED WC: 30k

TEASER WC: 1.8k

SYNOPSIS: DJ Juliette is over just being a DJ. She misses being a producer and working with artists but no one is biting anymore. She's living from paycheck to paycheck, so when MC receives a pink business card from that company, she should take it. But her fellow SHAWOLs are screaming at her and she knows better. So they send in the heavy arsenal wrapped in head-to-toe Chanel. This woman, named Lindsay Liu, knows she can talk her into it.

WARNINGS: threesomes, slight language barriers, hella campy/maybe even bad, mc is described as American and having a midsized body, explicit language and descriptions of sex, working at SM Entertainment, mc has a "stage name", Juliette isn't her actual name.

+ dialogue and text messages italicized in their entirety means MC is translating them from Korean!

NingNing are you not seeing the gc? Lindsay just sent something CRAZY

You choose to ignore Yizhuo’s text for one simple reason. It’s five a.m., which is much too early to translate. You’re already grouchy from being up this early, you’d rather just hurry and get ready for your first scheduled session.

And throughout all three hours of said session, your phone is buzzing into oblivion. You have to wonder if a cartoony vein is popping out of your forehead when one of the members stops singing in the booth. You look up to see not only him, but everyone else in the studio staring at you.

“Juliette, if you need to excuse yourself for a moment to answer your phone, please do so.” Says the group’s manager, looking unimpressed with your attitude. Embarrassed, you immediately stand up, bowing at everyone in the room and softly apologizing in Korean.

You rush out in the hall, half of you just eager to be relieved of the tension you caused and the other half is eager to mute that group chat. You search for the app, forgetting what it’s called since you rarely use it.

An unfamiliar logo is grouped with the other messaging apps. SCR… right, you think, and what does that mean again?

You’re tempted to delete it since it’s collecting dust, but deep down you know exactly why you won’t. There’s a rabid fangirl constantly reminding you that your favorite idols only trust this app to send… private messages. Not always something inappropriate, just anything they can’t risk being exposed. You sigh and open the app to at least do what you originally set out to.

The group chat, cheesily named ‘Gossip Girls’, has over 999+ unread messages. You’re not sure just how much that plus is hinting at since you rarely open it, but you remember there being significantly less the last time you glanced at the home page. And that wasn’t that long ago. That’s when you see the previews of the messages flying by.

their shoulders are so broad, it gets me… this is so strange Lindsay, do you know their type? I wa… kinda horny now lololol I bet they only like really skinny girls… So what’s their size? Don’t leave us… i’d pay just to see it lol god they would KILL on onlyfans

… What in the world is going on? You open the group chat at the speed of light. Frustratingly you’re positioned where you left off two months ago. You have to scroll through dating rumors and confirmed relationships, leaked songs, or whatever other hot gossip one of the girls’ heard. This app was created by celebrities for celebrities (and a select few normies). If you take a screenshot while the app is open, the picture is blurred just like snapchat and the other chatters are notified. There’s also an eyesore of a pattern in the background that supposedly distorts most phone cameras, so you can’t take a physical picture either.

Plus, it’s not really in anyone using this app’s best interest to blow its cover. Almost everybody has dirt on them from that very app. Everyone chooses to keep the peace for another reason as well, intel. You finally you find it. Lindsay even translated it, and you have a strange feeling that’s targeted at you.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Hello dolls, As some of you may know, I am moving back to Shanghai for the time being :*(. I know, I’m so sad! I’ll miss seeing your gorgeous, gorgeous faces in real life. Anyway, I’ve decided to leave you guys with a parting gift. Me being the only person to experience this feels like a waste. One of you has got to have sex with Nomin.

You gasp, hugging your phone against your chest. The door creaks open and you feel your soul threatening to leave your body.

“Are you okay?” The manager peeks his head out, looking just as annoyed as he always is.

“I-I’m sorry, there’s an... emergency!” You give him a panicked smile after you find the word. Your face is sizzling hot as you lock your phone. His face gradually softens.

“You don’t look too good, we can end early today–”

“Okay, thanks!” You rush toward a bathroom, any bathroom. Only when you’re locked in a stall do you feel yourself calm down. Your face is still hot to the touch as you unlock your phone. You have to admit, Lindsay really caught you off guard. God… if someone had glanced over your shoulder, you would’ve had your ass handed to you. Despite what their artists sing about and how they dance, SM is a very sexless place. Any innuendos or allusions to sex are strictly prohibited. A part of you felt like them explaining those rules was only targeted at you because you were American (not that you would blame them). But after being here for two months, you’ve gotten very used to the sterile environment.

Opening up that message in the middle of work felt like watching hardcore porn at your work computer. Is she joking? If she is, it is a little funny. You make a note to message her that before you continue.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Don’t worry, I won’t be jealous or anything. If you know me, then you know I refuse to be attached to any man lol. But you should know that they don’t just fuck anybody. From what they’ve told me, they don’t look at most girls. They’re very particular about the girls they seek out. If you ask me, that’s exactly why they barely have threesomes heheh ;3.

The first of many thoughts to surface is that Lindsay is clearly not joking. The next is a glaring question.

Who is Nomin?

You know better than to assume the k-pop industry debuted a nonbinary idol, so you’re not surprised when your google search returns two men. You’re also not surprised that you don’t recognize them since you don’t know any groups who debuted after 2014. They’re handsome, though. Very much so. They’re both charming in their own way, and you can see why they’re paired up. The vibes are reminiscent of the classic cat/dog dynamic you’ve seen. You tap your index finger against your lips as you sift through the images. They have nice physiques...

They’re okay I guess, I’ll always be a Taemin girl, though. You spin your ring mindlessly, unable to tear your eyes away from Jeno’s bare torso.

Right, the message.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Here, I’ve compiled for you the steps to attempt to get Nomin’s attention. Just to get it out of the way because it's obvious, you have to be up for a threesome. Even I couldn’t get one of them alone. Also, no idols. Upsetting one fandom is already horrifying, upsetting two is just reckless. Anyway, - Tip One: Don’t try so hard. If you look as good as they do, you get suitors constantly. And having to constantly deal with loud and unsubtle people is annoying. Besides, no one likes desperation. - Tip Two: If you’re going to change up your style and approach, don’t lay it on thick in either direction. Don’t become a BDSM dungeon master with your breasts practically falling out of your shirt. I bet you would look great, but you’d be ignoring tip one. But don’t put on that weird demure act either. If you’re covered head to toe and pretend to be sex averse, how are they supposed to know you want to fuck them? - (extra hint: dress casually, but give them something to… you know. A shirt just tight enough or a skirt just short enough they think their dirty thoughts were their own fault. Just off the top of my head, something like a graphic tee that’s slightly cropped with high waisted jeans that cover your midriff. Make sure the shirt hugs you just right 😉)

You laugh to yourself. Graphic tee she says. She could’ve just said t-shirt, but she’s making it very obvious. Perhaps on purpose? You pinch your jacket closed as if someone can see you right now. You’re wearing the same shirt you had on when you met her, now that you think about it.

Tip Three: A quick Do & Don’t for you: DON’T pretend to be their biggest fan. Name a single idol who has dated a fan. Exactly. DO become the best fan fiction character you can be. And I mean best. Don’t go to their concert and read a book, that’s ignoring tip one again. Don’t say you hate their music or hate boy groups. Subtler. Say you love boy groups. Hell, say you love SM boy groups… but you’re not very familiar with new ones. Throw an older group out there like I don’t know… SHINee. I think that’s why they reached out to me, being a 2PM fan and all. I wouldn’t have even looked their way on my own and I think that excited them.

That tip is the final straw for you. That one message was correct, this is strange. If she wanted to recommend you… have sex with those two, why wouldn’t she just message you? And are they even aware of all this? It all rubs you the wrong way and you start to text her exactly that. Lindsay beats you to it, though.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Have you read the group chat at all?

Yes. What the hell.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ What did you think of the tips ;)

Lindsay. Don’t you think this is a little inappropriate?

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Hey, I said they don’t like the innocent act.

I’m not participating in this! It feels icky. Am I crazy?

You exit out of her chat to message Yizhou the same thing. You can’t be going crazy. This is weird. You fan yourself and exhale.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ A little!! :D

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ They’re already texting me that they’re going to be so lonely and horny when I leave… they may even have to play with each other to cope��

My GOD Lindsay.

You swipe the messenger away entirely, only noticing then how hard your heart is beating. You close your eyes and your mind immediately betrays you by painting the images you saw of Jeno and Jaemin together behind your eyelids. You ease onto the toilet, hands pressing against the stall one either side of you. The images refuse to cease and you let your thighs squeeze just a little.

Your phone buzzes and you send a ball of saliva back to roll down your parched throat before opening the app again.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Last time I checked on you, you told me you haven’t been getting any play recently. They’re going to be in the same boat soon.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭ Remember what I told you? Idols have to be picky about who they sleep with and how often they do it. I know you’re thinking about quitting because this job isn’t what you saw yourself doing, but you aren’t utilizing the perks, doll </3 !

LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! `⎚⩊⎚´ -✧

◉ proofread cycle 1 ⃝ proofread cycle 2

20 notes · View notes

kkochigomi · 1 day ago