#like maybe he is feeling things y'all
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is he solemn from trauma and unflappable regardless of the situation, or does he just have >50 units of Botox in his face at any given time; a novel about Bruce Wayne.
#like maybe he is feeling things y'all#and it's not the training#or the trauma#or anything else#it's just the fact that moving his face requires concerted effort#so he never looks shocked#or upset#or sad#unless he REALLY wants to be#lol#botox#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#joking#JOKING#or am I#(I have 20 units in my eyebrows and cannot move them without trying)#it has helped me stay “calm” in so many situations haha#“wow you really handled that so calmly”#thanks it was the fact that I can't move my face
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I guess what I find most funny about the 'She should call off the wedding because of Colin's entrapement line!' crowd is like. . .y'all really don't get Penelope at all, do you?
She has loved this man for YEARS. She's loved him through his engagement to someone else, she's loved him through him saying he wouldn't court her, she's loved him through multiple countries, through her family mocking their closeness, through a potential marriage to a Lord. She loved him so much she couldn't even DENY having feelings for him to save what she thought was her only chance of getting married. Do you know how easy it would have been for her to go 'No, we're just friends, I don't like him like that, you're proposing to me and that's what matters'? She couldn't denounce her feelings for him even THEN. Even when she doesn't think he reciprocates them and she's made peace with a life with Debling and is expecting his proposal. Colin was *always* first in her heart, through all those hurdles.
Because Colin has been kind in a cruel world, and he's made her laugh, and he encourages her confidence and he's warm and he's gorgeous and he centers her and he values her and he listens and makes her feel desired and beautiful. He's a good man, and her love for him makes her feel good, she treasures it. Even in the books she says it feels good to love a good person, whether he loved her back or not. And now she knows that he does and you think one line that Colin says in obvious hurt after finding out she's been hiding a secret persona for him is enough to shake that love? She spent what? Half a decade looking out her window pining for him and now on the eve of getting to live a life with him as husband and wife, she's going to chuck that away because of one sentence? How lowly do you think of her? How *stupid* do you think she is? To throw away the love of her life over what? Her pride? This fandom's OOC Fanon Pen is a disservice to Penelope's actual character.
Her love for Colin is steadfast. It's made of tougher stuff than all that. It has survived everything that has been thrown at it. Distance, other people, Portia. And y'all really, truly believe that a singular statement will make her go 'Naw, I don't want it anymore!' PUHLEASE. Even when she offers him that annulment, you KNOW she knows it's not on the table.
Stop playing. OF COURSE she didn't call off the wedding. Of COURSE she chose to understand where he was coming from and went 'I didn't mean to trap you, Colin, I love you'. Of course she asks what the marriage will be and is comforted by the fact that he still wants to go through with it.
Penelope Featherington has loved Colin most of her life. It has been one of the few constants in her existence. He has been good to her in said existence, consistently. He's listened, he's cared, he's apologized to her, he's taken ownership of his actions, he's invited her to be more open, he's joked with her, he's supported her, he saw her when she was invisible. She. Loves. Him. And for good reason.
It's not going away because of one line. Or two. Or three. Come back next time when you actually understand her.
#polin#penelope bridgerton#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#some of y'all are tripping forreal#'oh we love romance!' and then she leaves him because of one line? nawwwwwwwwww straight to jail do not pass go do not collect $200#y'all are out here living in a 'imma ghost them the second i feel like it' world but like that's just not how real relationships work#they have history and tenderness and love for each other and she's not about to quit on all that because of one setback#just like HE'S not about to quit on it all because of a setback#some peeps acting like he slapped her clean across the face and dunked her naked into a river to hold her down beneath the water#he said one thing when he was upset? like maybe ease up a little bit and try some empathy and character analysis#instead of going RIGHT to revenge and indulging your inner mean girl
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I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:
Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:
Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.
......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?
#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#she's slightly nicer to him when he's not there but she's still like 'maybe he feels something similar but probably pretends not to'#like i'm not gonna pretend that carver doesn't bottle any feelings--he doesn't openly talk about bethany a lot for a reason#but to suggest he pretends to be unfeeling about things like ostagar is incorrect like he CLEARLY feels a lot about it#because he associates the battle at ostagar with losing his home and sister to the darkspawn#after playing as a warrior hawke who is best friends with aveline i do have a little more insight into why she might think this about carve#when hawke is a warrior they were at ostagar. they share that traumatic experience with aveline and if they're friends#they discuss it in a way that i think aveline *wants* y'know? but with carver he doesn't respond the way she wants him to#so she gets frustrated since even if she tried to talk to hawke about it... hawke wasn't there. hawke doesnt KNOW what ostagar#was like but carver does... but it's like aveline is ready to assume the worst of carver a lot of the time?#like 'carver doesn't talk about it because he's a tit who pretends not to feel' is the vibe i get from this but aveline...#that's like calling you a tit because you don't want to openly discuss all your feelings about your dead husband#listen aveline and carver are so similar but they have such key differences like they both survived the horror of ostagar#and lost a loved one to darkspawn while fleeing lothering AND they both blame hawke for it to a degree#even though they both know that's not right and that it wasn't really hawke's fault#they're both stubborn warriors with daddy issues looking to find their place#and when it comes to flirting? well i don't think carver's as bad as aveline#but i played MotA i know all about 'you could tame its wild heart'#but the key differences come in how they the end the game y'know? especially if carver's on the friendship path as a warden#i still haven't made him a templar but something tells me he ends up more on the same road as aveline#vs when he's a grey warden and able to be away from kirkwall and find a place on his own#y'all i could write a whole essay on aveline and carver but i paused my game to write this so i should go back to that sksksk
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when max is depressed we know something's wrong because lucas says with his words that he knows something's wrong but when mike is depressed we don't think anything of it because will's right next to him rolling his eyes about how stupid straight people are
#briony babbles#1) don't assume people's sexualities#I recently saw this from my family members#reacting like !!!!!!! to a girl they know... also like girls?#'oh wow I didn't see that coming' yeah that's because you don't think girls liking girls is normal#so it's sad to see queer people do the same thing bc you KNOW irl queer people act like will#2) I get it romance is stupid people who aren't queer at all and having all these stupid rules for engaging in it are especially stupid#but I listen to my sister talk about her boy drama because I care about her#and it's not just 'how to get them together' it's 'how to help her feel better'#I'm not 15 so maybe I'm being unfair with my wisdom that will doesn't have because he is 15 but like#if I see someone I love people pleasing and feeling like they owe someone a romantic relationship because they're too empathetic#I tell them they should consider working on their boundaries#because I want them to be with someone who makes them truly happy#and then with mike it's just ASSUMING that it's el in THAT WAY#when the only relationship advice he wants to hear is that it's okay to break up with el and still be friends#because he can't lose her again#and ONCE AGAIN he is NOT STRAIGHT#assuming things is stupid! even if he WAS straight but he wasn't happy in the relationship it would be okay to go back to being friends!#mike's problems are just as individual-specific and difficult to understand for his friends as max's are#especially because they won't just say it#but max gets lucas who tries so hard to understand without being told#and mike tries so hard to tell will without saying it outright and will keeps not hearing him#i'm sorry i wasn't there 'it's not your fault' no 'i disappeared' no no you didn't! i just didn't look hard enough. but i see you now#fanon won't tell you this but the point of byler s4 is for *will* to prove that he's good enough for *mike*#mike already did that by being the best bf in the world before they were even dating for the first 2 seasons of the show#saved will's life twice and y'all wanna act like mike doesn't deserve him. shut the fuck up
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😱
#pray for me y'all#i think i'm going to try to Talk To A Man at church today#i never do things like this#i am the avoidance queen#but i have a feeling this one might be worth a little discomfort so extreme it makes me want to die#maybe#(after lowkey gazing wistfully at him across the sanctuary for months and then avoiding eye contact when he looked in my direction#i officially met him at a church thing friday night and he tried to teach me to play cribbage while my last remaining brain cell died)#(i'm sure he thinks i'm dumb as a pile of rocks but he was very nice about it and also charming and sweet and funny)#(i would just...really like to get to know him. if i could.)
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where's that post about how USamericans talk about gifted kid programs like it was a supersoldier program. it makes me laugh so hard
#y'all have made the so-called gifted kid experience feel so totally unrelatable#i always loved being the so called smartest in class#still do#no angst about it#like yeah i was bullied but it wasn't because i was smart. it was bc i was fat and had poor social skills and tbh#you don't need to be gifted to be bullied for those reasons#my experience was weird bc i always had the best grades etc but never actually made it into any of the programs#my score for the IQ test was actually too low#which is funny. maybe i'm just insane#my best friend in hs did make it into the program and he definitely did think he was smarter than me for that reason#but now he is in the navy and i am not so. speaks for itself#WAIT. supersoldier program omfg ...#also i say gifted experience in the same way that like. idk. being part of math club can be an experience#it's not a real inherent thing to you as a person#i just get annoyed at how ppl talk about it like it makes them part of an oppressed class like dude omfg. even as a kid#i knew i wasn't being bullied for being smart. in fact it was honestly the only part of me that made ppl think i had social value#which is fucked up. but it's not oppression for being smart
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I may have spent more money than I made at Regionals.
#Emile's Arts#Koro-Sensei#Proship Selfship#Proselfship#I will be opening regular commissions soon to pay for my Giant Son#If anyone is interested just stick around I'll get a post up. Eventually.#Casually draws Koro-Sensei cosplaying Volo#I was actually going to have him cosplay Cynthia but no. I think he'd like Volo#I never played that game but he has the Vibe of a Koro-Sensei fave#I bought this Pichu and was immediately stopped by this girl at one of the tables 'Congrats on the Giant Pichu'#To which I held him above my head and half yelled 'BEEG BABIE'#And then we said the word Gay at eachother back and forth maybe six times (I was wearing my home made rainbow shoes)#So yeah. Good times. I had a great time at Regionals#Like unironically it may have been the most fun thing I've ever gone to#That may have to do more with Regulation H than anything else though#It feels SO much like watching a real in-universe Pokemon battle#Sense there's no legendaries#Just Yanmega VS Klefkei and stuff like than#I had an amazing time I dunno when the next Pokemon event I'll be able to go to will be#But thank y'all who commissioned me for helping me afford to go to this one!#More commissions coming soon!
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Things do get better.
Life can be cruel and unforgiving, like a writer killing off the most beloved characters and making everyone suffer through a lot. Yet every bad moment eventually shall pass.
We don't stop reading a book, just because the writer made things seem grim for a bit. We shouldn't stop living just because we're afraid it'll get worse.
Things can go badly, sure, but they can also turn out for the better. You can also survive.
Even giving up for a day, a month, a year, does not mean your life is not worth living.
It doesn't mean you're gonna be stuck here forever. It just means that for now, maybe for a long time now, things have been rough.
And you need a break, and a hug.
And someone to tell you, that you are very much loved, even if Life (as the most bitter and inspired writer) has decided to take it out on you.
You are loved, you're not weird, and you deserve good, beautiful, lovely things.
#Each thing my qpp (queer platonic partner) gifts me makes me feel happy so I put some of the gifts in the pictures#Many times I think I'm lazy and I'm starting to think maybe I'm just too sensitive and stuff#But that doesn't mean I'm not deserving of love :3#That doesn't mean life won't get better as long as I keep trying#I'll have bad days and good days and that's fine#I think that's life#🎵🎶🎵That's life🎶#Anyway#Self indulgent writing :p#I have no idea what to tag this so it won't probably get seen lmao#Qpp<3#Moodboard kinda?#Comfort Moodboard#Agere#Age regression#Yes that is a great horned owl with Miguel's mask design because#That one scene in which he turns his head in Hobie's direction HAHA#He's an owl <3#Also y'all LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL EMBROIDERY MY WIFE MADE AAA#My qpp <3<3<3#Karline i love you aaaaaaa#Feel like I should probably fangirl about my wife in another post and not in my vent comfort post but uh#Agere comfort Moodboard#Literal pastels#Oil pastels agere moodboard#Velha infancia#Tulip and zuche hehe#Bunny#Bunny plushy
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remembering the time I asked my ex to please make some distance between himself & my bestie because of remarks he'd made to me about her body and his response was to get home, sit on the sofa and fold his hands, and look at me and say "since you're thinking I'm cheating on you, I can only assume this means you're projecting your own guilt onto me and you're the one cheating. I'd like to look through your phone now."
and guess who ended up being the one cheating 🥲
#he has Problems™️ with me labeling him as a cheater with my friends and family which. uhhhh. yes im aware that was an attempt to isolate me#and control the narrative so no one views him as a scumbag. but like. maybe dont do scumbag shit??#and in addition he says 'were we together when i developed feelings for her?' and forced me to say either Yes or No when. um!#its not a Yes/No type of question. we were working under the goal of making our relationship work. it's a nuanced situation where i did feel#emotionally stepped out on. and in any case he breaks up with me and immediately begins staying the night at her apt so literally what even#is the difference at that point?#we had a Grown Person relationship we have a mortgage we own our cars i supported him through hardships and we were planning on marriage#and its like. for him to have been in the headspace at ALL to develop feelings for another person is so hurtful. i can understand physical#i wouldn't excuse it but i can understand it. but falling in love? when i was a damned good partner to you?#sorry y'all i just. ummm. feel so trapped and afraid. i cannot believe the level of trauma his lack of empathy/compassion in the breakup has#put within me. it feels like no matter how much effort i put into trying to heal....nothing in my heart budges. the damage to my self esteem#is so profound that i honestly cant even picture the scope of it.#all the steps i took in therapy and things i did to lower my stress last year feel so useless against the fact that the man i thought id be#with for the rest of my life chose someone else over sticking it out with me. he chose the easier option. and i cannot fucking move on#anyway sorry for tag rambling i literally. feel so much guilt around venting to friends because of how he reacts to it#and because he snooped through my phone POST BREAKUP and i never know when he'll do it again#this is hell. how can this be the same man who said he wants to be friends with me?#personal
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okay, i'm not saying that feeding barton would just straight up diffuse barton's need for being a murderous gremlin because that is just so deeply ingrained him in now that it's not even funny, but i'm also not saying if you — say — placed a quesadilla in front of barton right before he was about to do about something horrible to someone... that there couldn't be at least a bit of a chance he would think about eating that instead
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#SKSKS no because barton IS the type of terrible character to possibly kill people just bc he's hangry and doesn't realize it#but OFC... this would unfortunately maybe happen like once or twice over the years bc barton CAN be affected by how he's feeling-#physically when he uhhh. Decides whether or not to kill someone as horrible as that sounds#but most of the time it's due to how unhinged he is and/or because he is a sadist and also delusional which is... yeah YIKES#though i feel like even if Barton had the want to change thing's for himself / turn over a new leaf so-to-speak...#he would REALLY have to address that delusional part because that is not a joke OFC though i know the rest of this post is pretty unserious#barton is just. yeahhh basically what i'm trying to say is it would take a LOT more than just food to convince him to not kill people on a-#permanent basis though i know that y'all may already know that ahahhh. but yeah I'm just being a bit sillay here and talkin' about how-#barton lovesss food so like. you never know perhaps it could happen if he didn't hate this person enough but IDK JSJSJ
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How many times has your boyfriend got you sick? If we're allowed to ask?
Just the one time lmao and honestly it was a weird situation so it's like 50/50 if he actually got me sick or if my body just got fucked up somehow for no reason ahdjakska
#not really snz but it's like adjacent#no okay let me tell y'all why it was fucking weird bc idk if i shared the details#so he ended up testing positive for flu b at uc#and he fucking got half of us sick and we all went to uc just to make absolutely sure we could assign blame to him#i did not test positive#for fucking anything#like they did the flu covid rsv tests both rapid and pcr#i was literally negative for everything#and the pcr tests have like a 99% accuracy iirc so there's almost no chance it was a false negative#i still think it was bc there's just no fucking way#like all my other coworkers who got sick were also positive for flu b and they weren't around him nearly as much#and same shit when i got sick again like week(?) later i was still negative for everything#like I'm a paranoid bitch i Have to test lmao#and i never got anyone in my house sick so there was that too#i do feel like it was somehow a false negative but if i really was negative then i guess it could've been an allergy thing??#i used to get sinus infections and bronchitis semi frequently bc of them and those have pretty similar symptoms#but i think it's too big of a coincidence that my other coworkers had the flu at the same time i was dying#OH but you know what else is weird is that the same exact thing happened to my dad a few months after me#we thought for sure he had the flu but he was negative for everything and didn't get anyone in the house sick#and that man doesn't know how to keep to himself so there's no way we didn't get exposed#so my dad and i are just built different i guess ahsjkaksk psychosomatic or some shit idk#anyway all this to say is it was schrodinger's sickness LMAO#i still blame him but we'll never know for sure#also he didn't get me sick when he presumably had norovirus so 😌 my immune system kicks ass 😌#my ass included bc of the allergies and possibly autoimmune thing but it also kicks the diseases asses so#can't complain LMAO but yeah he only got me sick just the maybe probably one time#and hopefully never again bc i will Scream and never let him forget lmaoooo#partner posting
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well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle
#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out#i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama#(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc#either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time#i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before#(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking#so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us#and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour#and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time#anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It#but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent#convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good#am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o#mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT#it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways
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that one scene in atbb where russ is being a tall asshole to karma on purpose but instead of squatting down to his level he pulls this shit
#karma isn't THAT short. but god that would be a good bit#in the rewrite i might have to put that scene in karma's pov tbh. just so you can feel how much he's holding himself back#because y'all best believe the amount of restraint it took him to not kill russ immediately when he did that was fucking astronomical#i've already talked about how being underestimated & patronized bc of his size is one of his THINGS. so combine that with a LV spike#he did not see russ as his little brother in that moment he wanted him dead on the ground in the dirt fully unrecognizable#i was thinking of maybe having the swapfell fic switch between fluff & karma's pov for different scenes/chapters anyway#i think it would establish a lil better that karma is an Important Character for the overall story instead of just another side character#especially since pretty much every other sans that will ever show up IS a side character lol#idk if i'll switch according to a pattern like 1 fluff chapter -> 1 karma chapter etc or if i'd just go on vibes. does anyone care abt that#the few times i've attempted a pattern i lost interest in keeping it up immediately but that was w/ the lightbulb fic so. its been a minute#sometimes certain scenes are better from certain povs and the pattern fucks with that I CANT HELP IT#THATS WHY THE LAST 2 CHAPTERS OF SELF HATRED SWITCH TO RUSS POV IF THEY WERE STILL EDGE IT WOULD MESS IT UPPPP#well i mean i guess the final chapter could MAYBE work from edge's pov & show how confusing russ is to him a lil better#but i also think seeing how russ is actually thinking is better just for the audience's understanding of him. yaknow. idk#plus it Would be more jarring to have 4 chapters of edge 1 chapter of russ and then immediately back to edge again#i think it'd make russ's part feel more like a weird interruption or something rather than a natural switch to hide edge's intentions#oh my fucking god i just looked back at the actual post i got so off topic YOU GET THE IDEA GOODBYE#KARMA#RUSS#LOOKING AT THAT GROWN ASS MAN LIKE A BUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I love animals, but it's shockingly rare for me to see one that makes me go 'OH you belong in our family'
#they say your pets choose you but i think god chooses your pets. or at least points you in the right direction#because both with mocha and essie...the minute i saw them it was like i had this instant pull to them#and guess who was stupidly browsing petfinder for future references and fell in love with a gsd mix from a shelter two hours away#i saw the picture and stopped and stared for so long#i haven't stopped thinking about her since#i made an account and put in an inquiry thing but i might reach out directly to ask some more in depth questions#because maybe she isn't a good fit for me#but y'all i'm in love#i saw her and just immediately thought 'that's her. that's your dog'#my dad is not a dog person and i currently live with him#but i've asked him to consider the possibility and i think he might#my mom is an animal lover so it's a lot easier to convince her#but unfortunately you can't hide a dog like you can hide a cat lol#so yeah!!! maybe this won't work out and i'll just accept it and move on#but i have such a good feeling about her#probably delete later
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Not to be political on my silly side blog but just. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
#so i knew things were going to be bad i promise y'all I'm not dumb#and i know things are so much worse for so many people already and I'm in maybe one of the best positions anyone can be in in this moment#but like as of today it's feeling almost certain that my mom's job which has been such a huge improvement to her mental health#and such a huge move to help her feel better#and more confident with change is not going to be renewed and i know that's basically unnoticeable conpared even just to the impact#of that one executive order alone not to mention every other horrible thing he's done i just. it's the straw that broke the camels back ig#bc ig i knew he was going to be awful towards immigrants and latinos and trans folk so i was bracing for that not him trying to distroy our#colleges#idk guys it's just so much all at once and we will make it bc we have to but I'm scared#ok politics over I'm sorry for sll thst I'll try to get a pinup piece out tonight to make up for it#us politics
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I know, I know, Jonathan + NYU since six. But like there would be a certain tragedy in him picking Emerson and then backing out
#like y'all know what i mean?#like they were both at a college fair or something and he really vibed with the presenters and he was so excited#bc look Nancy they have a really good journalism program and it's in the city#like there's something so INCREDIBLY fucked up there#about Jonathan once again wanting something and not letting himself have it bc he feels obligated to his family#also like the ANGST of Nancy thinking he's finally expressing what he wants and then backtracking???#THAT'S GOOD SHIT#... maybe I'll go open a Google doc#jancy#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#stranger things
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