#like maybe bc it used to take me months and years to progress the story but it feels cohesive to me now

[kaikamahine]

Now that I have a desktop instead of a mid-2000s laptop that would take 20min to load every map, even a fast travel (not an exaggeration,) I decided now was a great time to ...... completely redo all of my Inquisitors from scratch.

on one hand. fuck that prologue demon. fuck the entirety of the exalted plains. "sEe ReASoN, lYseTTe." PLEASE WILL THE BEARS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

on the other!!! not to get goopy on 9yr old computer graphics, but have you PLAYED DA:I on ultra mesh settings?? OH MY GOD.

it's SO DIFFERENT when you're not on super low resolution and don't take 20min to change maps!!!! is this how y'all were living THE WHOLE TIME????

mods 😎

From top to bottom we have:

Jem, my child-soldier templar

Persefene, my widowed Avvar Adaar

Chenelo, Edgelord™

Maia, my Kirkwall throatcutter turned mom

Emmory, the hearthkeeper

Aodhán, the agoraphobe

and Steven

NOT pictured, because they're perfect the way they are and I felt no need to tinker with them: Dain Cadash, the least qualified person here, and Esperantha Lavellan, the unfortunate heterosexual.

[harrysfolklore]

i see your face in every crowd - op81

summary: the asutralian grand prix is right around the corner and oscar's face is everywhere in melbourne, his ex girlfriend can't help but miss him (he misses her too)

folkie radio: if you know me you know i'm a sucker for an exes to lovers trope, and honestly this one is one of my faves i've ever done. ENJOY AND LEAVE FEEDBACK

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by oliviarodrigo, lando and 2,107,399 others

yourinstagram back home for a bit... needed some time to reset & breathe. been writing loads lately - the songs are just pouring out 🌊 feeling more inspired than ever tbh. can't wait to share what i've been working on with u all soon. huge thank u for all the love lately, means more than u know xx

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username1 BABYYYY

username2 i'm happy she's home and surrounded by love

sabrinacarpenter miss ur face already 😭 these songs are about to end lives fr

chappellroan THEYRE NOT READY FOR WHAT'S COMING!!! also pls come back to LA soon i'm dying without u

username3 chappellynbrina is a forever thing

username4 the way melbourne gp is gonna be so awkward next month...

└ username1 why does everyone have to make everything about that 🙄 let them live

└ username2 no fr like can we focus on the music instead

username5 oscar ain't shit anyway, ur so much better without him queen

└ username3 y'all don't even know what happened, stop being toxic

└ username6 they literally both asked for privacy can u respect that maybe

alexandrasaintmleux being home suits u sm! can't wait for the new era

└ username2 once a wag always a wag

username7 THE BREAKUP ALBUM IS COMING AND IM HERE FOR IT

username8 take all the time u need but also pls drop a song soon we're starving 😩

lando yooo text me when you get the chance !

└ username1 THEIR FRIENDSHIP LIVES

└username2 oscar piastri you can't break this one

username9 some of y'all are being so mean for no reason, they were cute together and now they're not, it happens

username10 manifesting a collab with sabrina on this album 🕯️

liked by lando, alex_albon and 467,958 others

oscarpiastri Last few days of prep before heading home for the season opener. Ready 💪

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username1 THATS MY BABY GOAT

username2 we're so taking that wdc this year

lando looking a bit weak mate might need another few months of training

└ oscarpiastri stick to gaming mate

└ carlossainz55 Children, behave 😂

└ username1 THIS INTERACTION

username3 we're so back. man's entering his thirst trap era and we love to see it

└ username1 healing through gym pics, real

username4 the transformation from rookie to absolute unit we love to see it

username5 melbourne's gonna go crazy for him

└ username2 the city will be pretty much covered with his face

username7 the post-breakup glow >>>>>>

username8 bro said watch me get faster AND hotter

username9 yn is stronger than me bc i definitely would've given him another chance

georgerussell63 Looking strong 💪🏼

└ lando but still slower than me

└ oscarpiastri We'll see about that mate

└ username3 WHAT IS LANDO'S PROBLEM

aussiegp Our hometown hero getting ready to give us a show 🇦🇺

username10 YN GET BACK WITH HIM I BEGGG

liked by shortandbrina, livbedumb and 119 others

definitelynotyn not me stalking his instagram at 2am with a glass of rosé in hand... why he gotta post gym pics looking like THAT 😭 someone take my phone away fr because what if i do something stupid like text him rn???? also why does he have to look so good while training I HATE HIM

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shortandbrina girl DELETE instagram rn i'm not joking!! calling u in 2 mins

└ definitelynotyn too late i already watched his story 3 times help

midwestprincess this is why we don't drink wine alone bestie... coming over with ice cream and we're watching mean girls

└ definitelynotyn pls hurry before i do something stupid like listen to our playlist

livbedumb first rule of breakups: BLOCK THE GYM PROGRESS POSTS!!!! trust me on this one

└ definitelynotyn but what if i just want to check if he's doing okay 🥲

└ gracieeeeee she's lost it completely someone intervene

arithegood not me literally writing a song about this exact situation last week 💀 wine drunk stalking is universal bestie

└ definitelynotyn pls send me the song i just know it'll hurt so good

phoebenotbuffay okay but like... we've all been there 😭 remember when i almost texted #him after he decided to walk around in those short shorts

└ definitelynotyn at least urs wasn't wearing race suits that make his arms look like THAT

whostaylorswiftanyway time to write a song about it bestie x

└ definitelynotyn already got three verses and a bridge done ngl

liked by username1, username2 and 6,974 others

f1updates Melbourne is getting ready for the Australian GP! The city is covered in @/oscarpiastri billboards and posters as they prepare to welcome their home hero

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username1 imagine being yn trying to get coffee and boom there's your ex's face on a 50ft billboard 💀

username2 the way you literally can't escape his face anywhere in the cbd this week

username3 the way this gp would've been so different if they were still together... remember last year?

└ username1 they were the cutest in the paddock

└ username2 pls she probably won't even be in melbourne this year

username4 our boy is everywhere and we love to see it!!

username5 the promotional team really said oscar piastri world domination

username6 the billboards are giving everything they need to give tbh

username7 maybe she should drop the breakup album during race week for maximum chaos

└ username1 now that would be iconic behavior

└ username3 the way the charts and the podium would be fighting for his attention

username8 MELBOURNE IS OSCARLAND

username9 imagine not being an oscar fan rn… or worse, being his ex

username10 CAN SOMEBODY THINK OF OUR GIRL YN

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liked by lando, charles_leclerc and 597,388 others

oscarpiastri Seems like there's a few of me around Melbourne at the moment... has anyone noticed? 😅

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username1 OSCAR FUCKING PIASTRI

username2 HE DID NOT

lando bit of an upgrade for the city tbh └ oscarpiastri Better than your face mate

username3 OH HE'S MESSY FOR THIS ONE

└ username1 posting this RIGHT after her story i'm screaming

username4 he chose violence today and i'm here for it

mclaren Our guy's everywhere! Can't wait for the weekend 🧡

└ username2 admin pretending they don't see what's happening here

username5 THE TIMING OF THIS POST??? someone's feeling petty

username6 he really said "oh you can't escape me? let me show you why" 💀

georgerussell63 Just ran into your face in the airport

username7 the way he probably had these pics ready and WAITED

username8 bro saw her story and chose chaos

danielricciardo looking good mate! although i remember when it was my face everywhere 👴 └ oscarpiastri Times change old man

username9 it's giving "oh you miss seeing me? here's more" energy actually

username10 focusing on the important stuff: he looks good in every single billboard

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liked by harrystyles, sabrinacarpenter and 1,389,647 others

yourinstagram missing tour life so much today! can't wait to get back on the road and see all your beautiful faces again 💕 thankful for the memories we've made together x

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username1 MY GIRL I MISS HER

username2 the way she posted this exactly after THAT story... we see you

└ username3 damage control era

troyesivan SUPERSTAR 🤩🤩

username4 girl we know what (who) you're really missing

└ username2 not her trying to distract us 😭

username5 we're not fooled bestie but we support you

sabrinacarpenter miss you too angel!! ❤️

└ yourinstagram love you sabs 🥺

username6 NOT THE DAMAGE CONTROL POST

username7 WE NEED A TOUR ASAP

gracieabrams I miss being on the road with you 🥹🥹

username8 EVERYONE TALKIG ABOUT OSCAR HELP

username9 can we talk about how good she looked on tour though??

username10 the way she's probably sitting with sabrina rn planning damage control posts

└ username11 the group chat must be WILD right now

liked by midwestprincess, livbedumb and 109 others

definitelynotyn well. something just came in the mail and i think i might actually throw up. universe really said "you thought that instagram story wasn't enough embarrassment for one day?"

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shortnbrina GIRL CHECK YOUR TEXTS RN

└ definitelynotyn I'M HAVING A CRISIS

midwestprincess the way i SPRINTED here when you texted

└ definitelynotyn help what do i do

└ midwestprincess BREATHE FIRST

gracieeee wait is that what i think it is? ���

└ definitelynotyn 🙃🙃🙃

└ gracieeee OH MY GOD????

livbedumb the timing… someone's been plotting

└ definitelynotyn don't. i can't think about that.

maddiebeer okay but like… are you going?

└ definitelynotyn MADS PLS I'M ALREADY SPIRALING

└ maddiebeer that's not a no 👀

arithegood manifesting a rain delay so you have to stay longer

└ definitelynotyn I HAVEN'T EVEN DECIDED IF I'M GOING

└ arithegood sure jan

phoebenotbuffay imagine if you'd actually posted this on main too

└ definitelynotyn DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT

└ phoebenotbuffay too soon? 😂

dulapeep at least you have time to plan outfits

└ definitelynotyn NOT HELPING

└ dulapeep the green dress. trust me.

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liked by lando, charles_leclerc and 665,583 others

oscarpiastri Close. Bring on tomorrow

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username1 THATS MY BABY GOAT

username2 oscar piastri man of few words

username3 pole position if he was still with yn

mclaren Our home champ 🧡

username4 OKAY CHAT DO WE THINK YN WILL ATTEND THE RACE??

└ username1 maybe focus on racing?? this isn't about his ex

lando sorry about that

└ oscarpiastri Should've just let me keep it

username5 can't help but think about yn in parc fermé for his win tomorrow but they're not together anymore

username6 HES WINNING TOMORROW THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN CHANGE THAT

charles_leclerc An existential crisis later

└ carlossainz55 Let him breathe

└ username1 HUUUH WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT

username7 brb listening to yn's songs about him.. specially lover

liked by midwestprincess, shortandbrina and 107 others

definitelynotyn watching from my couch because apparently i'm the biggest coward in the universe. the pass is literally staring at me from my coffee table. i hate myself.

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shortnbrina GET IN YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW

└ definitelynotyn I CAN'T

└ shortnbrina YES YOU CAN I'M CALLING YOU AN UBER

midwestprincess GIRL THERE'S STILL 40 LAPS YOU CAN LITERALLY MAKE IT

└ definitelynotyn and then what?? walk in mid-race??

└ midwestprincess YES EXACTLY LIKE A MAIN CHARACTER WOULD

livbedumb not you watching his every move on tv when you could be there

└ definitelynotyn this is less scary ok

└ livbedumb is it though??

maddiebeer remember when you said you'd never be that girl who's too scared to face her feelings?

└ definitelynotyn low blow mads

whostaylorswiftanyway THE PASS IS RIGHT THERE GO GET YOUR MAN

└ definitelynotyn STOP YELLING AT ME

└ whostaylorswiftanyway NO

gracieeee remember when you said his note was the sweetest thing ever? remember crying about how much you missed him? but sure stay on your couch

└ definitelynotyn this is emotional manipulation

definitelynotyn FINE YALL WIN. CALLING A CAR RN

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liked by shortnbrina, landitooooo and 113 others

definitelynotyn we did some talking. then we did some kissing. then we did some more talking. then we did some more kissing. might have cried a bit (him too). wearing his sweatshirt again. life's funny sometimes.

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midwestprincess OH GOD FINALLY

gracieeee I'M SOBBING

leclercccccc FINALLY you accepted the follow request

└ definitelynotyn oh my god

└ leclercccccc i helped with the speech you know

└ notoscarpiastri mate.

└ leclercccccc you're welcome btw

landitooooo took you both long enough bloody hell

└ notoscarpiastri says you

└ landitooooo oi what's that supposed to mean

└ shortnbrina no idea really

└ definitelynotyn lando norris and sabrina carpenter... there's stuff you need to explain

arithegood THE TIMELINE HAS BEEN RESTORED

└ definitelynotyn dramatic much

└ arithegood says the girl who showed up mid-race

whostaylorswiftanyway I expect a full debrief tomorrow but I'm happy for you my girl

notoscarpiastri Can we go back to the kissing?

└ definitelynotyn please

liked by username1, username2 and 8,594 others

popbuzz YN AND OSCAR PIASTRI SPOTTED TOGETHER IN MELBOURNE

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username1 THE SWEATSHIRT THE SWEATSHIRT THE SWEATSHIRT

└ username2 SHE'S WEARING HIS CLOTHES AGAIN

username3 FROM SPINNING OUT TO BREAKFAST DATES IN 24 HOURS

└ username2 character development at its finest

username4 IM GOING TO CRY THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER

username5 Sources say he went to her place last night...

└ username1 and didn't leave 👀

username6 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY REALLY GOT BACK TOGETHER

username7 this is proof that crying over your ex on main actually works

username8 YN IS A WAG AGAIN OMFG

username9 everybody say thank you australia gp billboards with oscar's face

username10 OSCAR LOVE SONGS ARE SO BACK

username11 WE WON SO HARD

liked by yourinstagram, lando and 876,494 others

oscarpiastri Home race took some unexpected turns both on and off track. P9 wasn't the result we wanted, but somehow still ended up winning this weekend.

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username1 HE'S SOOOO

username2 LOST THE RACE BUT GOT THE GIRL??

lando mate that's actually smooth

└ oscarpiastri Learned from the best

mclaren We'll take this kind of victory too 🧡

username3 THE THIRD PICTURE IM SOBBING

username4 mans really said forget p9 i got the girl

username5 HE'S SO BOYFRIEND WE'RE SO BACK

nicolepiastri ❤️

username6 OSCAR PIASTRI THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

username7 oscar's guide to get back with your ex with just ten simple steps

sabrinacarpenter FINALLY !!! OUR GIRL CAN STOP MOPING AROUND

└ chappellroan now we need oscar's friend to grow some balls too

└ oscarpiastri @/lando

└ lando well...

└ username1 OMFG LANDO AND SABRINA??

└ username2 WHAT JUST HAPPENED

username8 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL LIFE

yourinstagram 🥺🥺 i love you

[propertyofwhitney67]

One thing that kills me a little about dols writing is how the characters (especially the LIs) are kind of being left behind in the wake of game play gimmicks (that seem fun until you realize they're just a grind) and supernatural lore (that doesn't even directly tie into any of the LIs).

For example, cooking could have been a fun inclusion in the game, but its a real slog to get through and it doesn't actually progress any of the storylines or lead to really fun scenes with the love interests. Like, cooking could be tied into the cafe, or certain ingredients could be used in a food play context, or utilize cooking for dates with the LIs, because right now cooking is extremely under-developed (which is deserving of criticism imo. If the game or story aspect of a new mechanic isn't finished it probably shouldn't be pushed out, because there's no guarantee that any of the developers will actually get around to doing anything with it in the future).

Some of the lore is cool, but it isn't very well integrated with the characters. With the snake painting and the multi-ending gimmick it could have been a fun quest for the PC to discover new endings by talking to other characters. Like, maybe Winter knows one ending, but Sydney (or Jordan) has heard another, and Avery/Remy/Wren know another version of the events, so you get to learn more about the world while also learning about a character and their thoughts on the painting. Admittedly, I don't really care that much about the temple, but I attribute that to the writing not doing a great job at tying the temple into... anything, really lmao

The lack of dates and holiday events with the LIs is something I also find frustrating. Maybe it's just me, but doing Christmas and Valentine's events with all of the love interests seems like a really easy thing to plan for, and they're events that feel meaty enough that most people would be okay with getting a few big events like that every year. Not to mention you could have events that delve into lore while also focusing on LIs. The temple follows a made up pseudo pagan religion. Throw in festivals for the summer and winter solstices. Make a harvest festival that involves the PC and Alex needing to do something.

Somehow dol just feels like an incredibly strange game when I actually think about it. The LIs don't feel fleshed out enough for an actual dating sim adjacent game, but the lore isn't consistent enough for the game to be focused on that either (like what even is the island? why is it tribal? why not have it take vague inspiration from more Celtic mythology or English folklore instead, because the island just feels really gross the way it exists now).

The cooking def needs work, a lot of work. It takes so fucking long to get recipes to even make a fucking meal, they really gotta come up with a better way of doing the cooking. Like you said using it for dates and stuff would be really cool, there also needs to be more variety in scenes when you do give them food bc it's the same shit every time. I agree, if it isn't finished don't put it out. You can hint at it or even openly talk about it but don't give us halfassed shit.

Some of the lore is quite interesting and I used to be obsessed with it, all the things Winter would tell you about the antiques is cool. But now it just feels off? Idk there's just something different, it might be the writing.

We do need more dates and holidays, like what do you mean I can't give other LI's Christmas gifts? Why is Eden the only one with a valentines event? I also really love your idea of those events, they would be so cool. It really shouldn't be hard to implement more events, like sure it'll take a bit to write everything but I'm more than willing to wait for actually good content. I'm willing to wait months if it means the writing is better, just please.

There's some inconsistencies and things that have just been completely changed and/or removed. The characters genuinely need to be fleshed out and I say this with my whole fucking chest, do fucking better devs and writers

The island is fucking awful and kinda hella racist if you really think about it. It needs a whole rework or just be removed bc it serves no purpose aside from like 4 artifacts and a temple quest.

[chilling-seavey]

okay i have so many thoughts on lloid i fear u will be seeing a lot of me.. what is george’s past experience with women ?? i’m not sure if you’ve talked about it yet bc i still need to reread but im curious about like. bad break ups .

Yes yes yes!! I want to see you all the time in here!! (in the least creepy way possible LOLL)

Such a good question. He shares some stuff/some specific details with Rosaline in Chapter 13 so I will let him tell y'all that stuff when it gets to that part...but I can give more of a broad explanation of how I've thought about his character and his experience as a whole! Let me just spill his sexual life story right onto my dash mwah

So as we know, George is 34 here, very educated so has been part of the university life just as much as a student as he is an educator. I see him having probably lost his virginity in late high school or the summer before his first year of university...maybe at 18/19? Since he's so sex-positive and so knowledgeable and understanding and gentle with Rose, I feel like his first experience was similar. Maybe he was traveling abroad that summer and ended up meeting a slightly older woman (not crazy, maybe was, like, early to mid twenties) at a pub or a museum or something. Maybe he ended up back at her apartment and he was clammy and nervous and she helped him feel comfortable and at ease and showed him the ropes and of course it was a little awkward and maybe he came a little too fast (but not embarrassingly fast, he would always remind himself when the memory creeps up on him) but it was still a very formative memory for him that he carries with him. He never saw that woman again after the next morning but he walked out of her apartment feeling like a changed man, really.

And although he's always been very studious and focused on his work (a lot like Rosaline...that's part of the reason he was drawn to her as his mentee; he saw himself in her) and he was throughout uni, I see him having a few brief flings throughout his undergrad, masters, and PhD. Not quite 'one night stands' but not quite relationships (more like...'four night stands'? lol) and—ever the learner—he used these flings to better understand himself and better understand women. He definitely had a semester or two where he was far too focused on sex than his studies but one ~70% grade on his finals and that snapped him right back into gear.

(Oh and he definitely had one threesome in first year of his masters—with two women who were roommates with each other in his same dormitory building—but they ended up being more into each other than him and near the end he was just kinda pushed aside and stuck watching and then felt quite weird about it and silently swore off threesomes after that.)

But he wasn't just into flings and moreso as he progressed through his uni years he also dated in between them, definitely more of a long term relationship kinda guy. Some girls from his class, or from the dorms, or friends of friends. Girlfriends for him throughout uni likely lasted 8 months-2 years or so? But there was only a handful of those. He told a few of them he loved them and they said it back but he never really felt that intense draw towards them that so often is depicted in romance novels. That's okay, he was focused on getting his doctorate anyway. Breakups at this time were likely more mutual; I think one in particular would be the girl being far more upset than he was and being the one to call it off really dramatically and kinda playing the victim and he was kinda like "...ooookay so bye then..." (lol)

He graduated with his PhD at 28/29 and that's when he did a lot of traveling between finding a career (assistant professor at one university or another...working in the archives...guest speakers at conferences...etc). He definitely isn't one for meaningless flings but in his travels he met some women he connected with and ended up back at his hotel or their local apartment.

(He had one woman from Italy take him home only to discover she lived on this farm and he was all too aware of one of the goats staring at them through the window the entire time.)

George tells Rose more of what happens in his early 30s so I'll leave that for him to tell you all too in Chapter 13!

But, overall, I see his body count to be around 20-ish? And he doesn't take that lightly, he's always been a conscientious lover and thinks that as much as sex can be fun, it's also intimate and thrives off trust and connection and that's what he loves. It's a wonderful balance of pleasure and decorum for him.

[lolotr]

hi babes it's me, get ready to spill all your secrets ✨ I wanna know EVERYTHING but also I don't wanna be weird, so gimme 15 with some sweet sweet details about those WIPs, maybe, if you're down for it? Also 29 and 30 pls and thank you. 😘❤️💕

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BABES THANK YOU FOR SENDING THE ASKIES

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Which ones am I NOT taking into next year with me, jesus. so many. these are all DBD, as will be shocking to 0 of you. I have WIPs in other fandoms, but nothing I'm ACTIVELY working on

-Dead Boys Night: It would be nice if I could finish this before the year ends, but I'm not totally sure that will happen. I have ideas for the last chapter/epilogue, but I haven't been great about sitting down and actually working on it. Pray for me.

-Libraryverse: I will forever be obsessed with this little family I created. I currently have two fics that are actively in progress, nowhere near done, but they will continue to be written, as well as (hopefully) the 10+ other ideas I have for this verse. I kid you not. I am obsessed with the libraryverse.

-The Raven Cycle AU: This has been percolating for a few months, since I wrote the first chapter for payneland week. I want to develop it into a full story, and even have a couple chapters written, but I want to develop it more/get farther before posting them.

-Merthur AU: Weirdly, I also have an idea or two about the merthur vibes AU I wrote for payneland week. I've started working on the story of Edwin and Charles meeting in that verse, but I'm not sure if anything will come of it.

This is not to say these are the only ideas I have, but these are the ones with more than just vague vibes written down, lol.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Ugh, that's gonna be hard. I've written so much that I'm proud of this year, which is such a nice feeling. The first one that comes to mind is this, from my beach episode:

“I love you, Edwin,” he says, with the same conviction as, Let’s get you out of here. As, You’re my best mate, and you always will be. As, It looks like you’re stuck with me.  

That was one of my favorite confessions I've written.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Honestly? That I found the joy in it again. Before Dead Boy Detectives, I hadn't written much fic. I posted something here and there, usually for much smaller fandoms, but I haven't been gripped by a story in this way in YEARS. So the biggest surprise this year was that I got grabbed by the guts and wrote TENS OF THOUSANDS OF WORDS and am full of ideas and excitement. The initial rush has calmed a bit, both naturally and because I got a job and moved, but I am still having a great time writing and posting, so I'm not going anywhere.

ao3 wrapped [writers edition] (yes I'm using someone else's post bc I couldn't find my own shut up)

[ssruis]

I think a ruikasa/wxs howls moving castle au has potential but only if you like. Make a huge mess of the plot. Just really fuck it up. Replace the story/role of several characters with something completely different that you made up.

- Tsukasa gets cursed for kind of being an asshole (to a witch that came into the restaurant he runs w saki. As is his right as a service worker.) (he still does theatre in this au) w something that slowly turns his heart to stone and in a canon typical tsukasa way goes “I am going to solve this problem on my own through sheer stubbornness/determination”, leaves a note for saki like “brb nothings wrong don’t worry about it :)” and goes to hunt down the wizard’s weird fucking castle sighted roaming the nearby wilderness everyone is freaked out about

- emu replaces turnip head but she got turned into a talking bunny with very few of her memories because it’s cute and I refuse to make an au where she can’t talk for 99% of the story. Tsukasa frees her from a tangled up net and she follows him bc she can’t figure out how to break her own curse so she might as well follow this goofy guy and see if the wizard can help her too

- nene as calcifer & rui as howl, nene (a witch) was cursed to die 300 yrs ago after freezing while performing for a (more powerful and significantly more cruel) witch -> rui prevented her death by figuring out a way to give her his own life force/soul/heart/whatever at the cost of her existing as a soul without a body, she keeps him alive through giving him her magic. Hard to explain. Whatever. Fullmetal alchemist vibes? We’re going on a quest to get your body back nene. They’re both functionally immortal but if one dies so does the other. She exists as a flame that operates the castle (nenerobo reference…)

- rui has been attempting to hunt down a way to reverse the curse while also fucking with the government that began cracking down harshly on magic usage after the beloved princess went missing with the evidence pointing to a witch or wizard as the culprit. Idk. Potentially pulling in soul eater inspiration with a war against witches… as a treat… rui interfering on both sides of the fight

- mfw I just wanted to do silly shows with my silly robots and now I’ve been alive for 300 years making zero progress on breaking a curse but at least I can use magic now (rui) vs mfw I messed up one thing and now I don’t have a body and I’m forced to watch my friend run himself into the ground trying to fix what should never have been his problem (nene). Canon typical nene guilt complex/rui giving nene a way to get around her issue that doesn’t help her grow. You understand.

- the kidnapped princess is emu she just forgot

- tsukasa catches up to the castle and enters it (bitch you live like this dot png) and emu discovers nene and drags her into a conversation. They discuss the curses and nene’s basically like (internally) ykw we’ve made no progress on our own maybe if we look into the curses you guys are under we’ll figure out our own on the way. (Externally) maybe having an idiot around will give rui some ideas. In return you can clean this place.

- emunene will be in this au what do u take me for. Emu entertains nene and helps her grow more confident, nene helps emu sort through her memories and more negative emotions.

- the flying over the town scene does happen (rui saves tsukasa (before tsukasa gets cursed) from a bunch of weird creatures created by the witch who later curses him) so when rui gets home and walks into the convo btwn emu/nene/tsukasa it’s essentially

Tsukasa: YOU!???

Rui: hello nice to see you again :) now please leave

Nene: I already hired him as a house keeper

Rui: but we don’t need a house keeper?

Nene: rui those dishes have been in the sink for a month

- plot happens I’m not rewatching hmc to figure this out (lying. I’ll probably do it even if I don’t do anything with this au)

- the cure for the curse for all of them essentially requires personal growth which is why I think making miku a witch that cursed all of them to inspire this/put in motion the events that would lead to them meeting is a funny idea. Not one I’m going to go with but it’s funny.

- the effect of the curse on rui was like… draining him of his passion for shows/inventing and his emotions which tsukasa helps bring back, and rui makes tsukasa realize why he loves theatre so much

- maybe tsukasa actually gets cursed by being egotistical like I will outshine everyone I’m the greatest world future star lalala (is cursed because the witch finds his lack of humility deeply grating and/or is insulted by the implication that this random guy is superior to her) oh shit

- leaning towards the witch being meiko just for funsies although kaito is also not a bad choice.

- drawback of rui using magic as someone who is not meant to be using magic is that the more magic he uses the more he’s turned into a weird bird cat beast (& the transformation back becomes harder and harder)

- one issue I have with a 1:1 hmc au is that like… rui and howl only share surface level similarities. If I wanted howl level dramatics in my story tsukasa would have to be howl which would require significantly more fucking around with the plot because rui would NOT do what Sophie did. Howl can be tsukasa but rui cannot be Sophie. Do u understand. Emunene has potential but unfortunately ruikasa fits the howl/sophie dynamic best. You know? You know. Tsukasa would get cursed and go on a quest and be perfectly fine cleaning the house of a guy who leaves food stains on the counter & never cleans them up if it meant he could lift the curse. I think if rui “canonically hates cleaning” kamishiro had to clean an atrociously messy house (disregarding the fact that tsukasa would not live like that) he would die.

- but rui also would not turn into a pile of slime because his hair got fucked up. That’s a tsukasa thing. Gestures at the card story where tsukasa is Pissed rui fucked up his hair with an explosion. I’m sure somewhere in the au over the course of canon typical rui fucking w tsukasa with his experiments I’ll work in a joke about that.

- I think in general the issue with a 1:1 au is you have to erase too much of the characters you’re inserting into the world to make things happen which is boring. U gotta change stuff. Unfortunately this leads to taking inspiration from like 4 different sources to make things work which is a huge pain in the ass and requires actual planning to create a coherent plot

- together wxs can make this moving castle a moving home :) just kidding they can’t all live together. tsukasa has to go home to saki and emu has to let her family know she’s ok. Also the lifting of the curse gives nene her body and her magic back/gives rui his life force back so 1) they’re no longer immortal 2) rui can no longer use magic (he’s fine w this he basically just used it to make truly impossible mechanical feats happen which he can figure out how to do without magic) 3) this results in the castle falling apart

- rui just moves in with tsukasa and works as a mechanic and nene moves to a nice calm cabin that emu essentially lives in when she isn’t needed to do princess stuff. They probably form a theatre troupe that eventually picks up as well & nene and rui can collab on a new moving castle to travel around if they do desire.

- why is this so scattered you may be asking. It’s because I had given this like 2 hours of thought at 2am before typing this out the next evening and had several more ideas as I typed. Firm believer that good ideas only arrive when you are sleep deprived and have given very little thought to what you’re laying out.

- I want an au that is shorter than the other aus I have so if I elect to actually write something I’ll have an easier time -> oh this is kinda getting out of hand -> god fucking damnit I did it again. Truly incapable of not making an au that has like 30 different plot threads.

[ahoneesan]

kebs game update - oct '24

jottin down where im at with the handful of games i consider myself, rightly or not, to be playin rn.

final fantasy 3 (ds) - very fun and well put together game! love the look, love the sound, love the weird double history of it (classic ff game obv, but also part of the prehistory of a strain of classic console rpg revivalism that eventually results in bravely default) but man i am not in the mood to grind rn. there can be something soothing about the structure of go to dungeon, make it a floor or two down, get nearly wiped by one too hard miniboss, teleport out, run back to town to heal and restock, repeat, but now is not the time for that. for me. also the job change waiting period or whatever can huff my shit.

death stranding - just picked this up, toolin around in ch2 but tryin not to get too hung up on stuff bc i know the game can sprawl if you let it. not a terrible game and not a terrible idea (walking simulator with Mechanics) but a little too esoteric for me at the moment. one of the things thats great about metal gear is its grounded in real world adjacent stakes (terrorists take over a nuke facility and you have to stop them) and fun characters (too obvious to list). DS so far has neither. im hopeful that ill get more invested as i go along but for now its a real "well huh how about this thing" feeling from me.

ffxiv - im actually taking a break from goin hard in this after the expac, just in time for me to miss the HEY A NEW PATCH IS COMING OUT festivities theyre throwing rn lol. was fun to grind for a while and im sure ill pick it up again outside of the obvious patch releases, but for now ill let my girl rest. and like, turn an island into an extractive robo capitalist utopia or whatever they fuck this shit is.

ffvii remake - good ass game but due to it being a collective play w me and the girls progress has been slow goin, which has dulled my enthusiasm for it. still obviously a great game, id like to finish the main story before monhun comes out but i did also just pick up DS soooooo we'll see!

system shock (remake) - I DO WANNA PLAY MORE OF THIS but the return stream needs to be splashy. by some definition of splashy. maybe in the next few weekends here i can spin it up again, along with more regular tomboy tuesday streams. lots of things i could tie into this, actually. here's hopin!

umineko - with ep8cast out its time to mosey on with the wrap up pods. unfortunately the GT squad is out of commission until one of us has a home to live in again, so it may be a bit before we can get to it. i'm hopeful to have one lower effort (but still very fun!) thing out before the end of the year.

thats everything as far as i can remember! not very interested in goin back to majora, would like to grab the new zeldy in time for holiday travel, and basically im in a sort of gaming stasis until monhun comes out next year and i vanish inside of there for a month or two. other games that are on my sort of immediate backlog: ffxvi, tomb raider 2010s trilogy, the rest of the ff's as i get to em, that new layton when (if) it comes out, maybe a dread replay, and i should pick up dmc again sometime. thanks for tuning in to this irregular check in.

[teriwrites]

Creature of Scandal: January 2019

My Live Reactions to Reading Through My 2018 Novel

Countdown to New Year's with the Wilsons!

Charlotte's interview apparently went well, and now her story is officially in a magazine

Which is obviously a huge industry in 2019...

Maybe I should've taken a page out of BoMI's book and set this in 2009 lol

Like social media has not been referenced a single time in this story so far

Oooo first performance post-interview, and she's Nervous

'She'd hoped that her performance anxiety would go away after she'd gone to school for vocal performance. But as much progress as she had made, Charlotte's stomach fluttered at the sight of all the faces in front of her.' as someone who was in her first semester as a music student while writing this, Mood lol

(I actually love performing, but it definitely got nerve-wracking solo in front of my peers)

It went well! Some of the patrons of the bar were even singing along with her when she ended with 'Free Heart'

And now Jerry's got her a getaway car, such a better agent than Carson

"Hey, Jen, what's up?" "Charlie, you'll never guess who was at your gig tonight." Jennifer didn't even pause to take a breath before rushing on. "Remember Darian Smalls, from high school? The hot soccer player? He just posted a video of your performance. What are the odds of that?" "Slim to none," Charlotte agreed. It was definitely a strange coincidence, but Charlotte didn't like Jennifer's guarded tone. "But why are you telling me? If you're trying to set me up, then maybe it's about time you and Mike were reintroduced. Remember Mike? I know it's been awhile, but he's my fiance." (pfft)

Dw, Jen wasn't trying to set them up, Darian just works for some big magazine and she thinks he was scouting her

Aww, Mike has to work early the next morning, but he stayed up until nearly 2AM to go to Charlotte's gig bc she was nervous

Charlotte noooo don't Google yourself!!

(I'd probably Google myself if I got famous tbh)

Nothing dramatic yet

Charlotte and Jennifer grab lunch to discuss some wedding planning (Jennifer is obviously the Maid of Honor) and Charlotte slips up that she's already in the early stages of planning a tour, without having mentioned anything to Jennifer yet

Again, nothing dramatic, Jennifer's just taken a little aback

And quick shift over to Charlotte interviewing for a media consultant

Apparently I DID care about media a lil bit

But okay, here's what I mean about the whole meandering through the story thing: I just spent an entire scene dedicated to Charlotte prepping for said interview. About her blazer being wrinkled and her not having time to use her steamer, about having to find the ironing board and iron hidden in the depths of the apartment's singular closet, about prepping her hair and makeup. These details are really not adding anything to this story so far

Anyways, the media consultant that she's interviewing with Jerry is encouraging her to make herself more public, since like every social media account she has is privated

Her tour is NEXT MONTH????

They don't give you a lot of turnaround in this alternate earth

Okay there's a second 'January 2019' Section counting down to the tour, so I'm gonna set that aside for next time

Ending Thoughts:

Okay, I'm starting to see where my vibes of 'this is taking too damn long' came from. It's cute to see scenes like New Year's with the family, heading back to her and Mike's apartment after her performance, prepping for an interview, even the interview with the media consultant itself was sweet but probably unnecessary given all the time-skips this story utilizes. Also feels kind of crazy that I included all of that and yet skipped over her interview itself and just summed it up after the fact. So I do kinda see what I meant with the weird vibes from this. But it's still a nice read, despite all that!

[castle-dominion]

c3x24 knockout. Wasn't the last episode in this storyline knockout too? No, knockdown.

Plot heavy episode, after all, it is the finale.

RC: Hey, guys, I could use a hand. *Esposito & Ryan applaud* Ryan wearing a sweater again. Weekly is v often. their faces drop when they mention him

The ring <3 Lol the "special" & the "usual" & the excellent choice madame. I love it. An hour ago today? Why they all cheering? Oh bc he's the cop. "He" was going to get around to me Ugh he gives him a minute & lays down politely, like this is honestly so respectful of a murder. He's have more blood probably. I remember looking like that. I am now remembering that. You know, for weeks, possibly even a month or several months I could smell blood. The first day, even the first week bc i was still healing, I thought that the smell of blood was just there for real. The bathroom must have smelled like metal; iron & copper; idk how my family didn't notice anything. Maybe it was all in my head now that I think about it. Then later I realized that it was just a hallucination. Sometimes I'd get a whiff of blood & it would remind me of that night, other times I would remember it & suddenly I could smell it. Again, in the earlier days I thought that maybe the smell was real & I just didn't notice it until I thought about it. Figuring out I was getting hallucinations shocked me. Did I just give myself ptsd? I wish I had a photo. I considered it but my phone was in the other room & I wasn't going to go get it. All that blood. Looking back, even tho I'm (sort of) clean now, I want that photo. I wanted a reference for murder scenes in my writing or in drawing, I wanted to see the progress of what I had done, now that I can't remember it as well I want to know what it really looked like & how far I actually got. I used to get nauseous every time I thought about it, even though I was fine with gore. Now all I have is the scar. You know, I used to make jokes when picking raspberries or cutting beets, I said it looked like a murder scene. During this time I realized how wrong I was. Anyway I wrote a fictional story basically transcribing my experiences, just so I'd have a record of it if my memory faded, it was already getting muddy when I wrote it. Now reading it I can barely see it. I remember it though. I remember it. At least I don't get blood olfactory hallucinations anymore. Back to the episode!

Wow it's been four months? Yeah he has an employer. idek who that employer is. Wait if she was 16 & it's been 12 years then she's only 28... alexis is 17 & if he had her at minimum 18 that would be 35 minimum. Well that fits the half plus seven rule. She's 28? 21x2=42 which sounds just as accurate for castle tbh. Yeah cool. Tho tbh the half plus seven rule does fall apart the more you age since people's brains still go thru development phases even tho the most & biggest were from ages -1 to 25.

He technically isn't hal lockwood hence why they called him john doe. OH NO FLASHBANGS. Those things are not good. Even the guys breaking him out would have been affected, even if they covered their ears & closed their eyes. (You only have two hands, two would have to be for your ears & so all you can do is close ur eyes & even so it is bright & loud & there is a physical boom. She asks "where" but how does the lady know what she means? Where is it safe? Where did they go? Where are you hurt? Poor helicopter guy. was he piloting?

Just like, check ur inbox? Can't be real names, must be code. That's why espt made that face! Just like my Mumma! She has her emergency radio license or smth like that. She's the one who taught me the nato phoenetic alphabet. Having seen this. His face when the third cop is mentioned. they were just talking abt street justice cops & monty is saying they should take him out rn rn.

JE: He says he wouldn’t have even known anybody had used it if it weren’t for the bullet holes. XD Does she know or is she speculating? No ofc she is not, but she is ok enough & ok enough to work.

Jim Beckett! & This will be the scene from the deleted scenes in the previous episode. You're so right Mr Beckett. Her life is def worth more than her mom's death. I love Jim sm. Here is his quote btw: What happens when she finds him? I’ve already lost my wife over this. I’ve already lost – (he stops) No, look. It took me years, but I’ve made my peace with that. But Katie? She won’t listen to me. And she won’t back down. Not unless someone can convince her that her life is worth more than her mother’s death.

& wow both her parents are lawyers, she was even considering becoming a lawyer. No wonder she's so pretty & educated.

Didn't sleep at all or slept a little bit? No, not Ryker!

He gon be dead. Yep he dead.

That's why the wound is so bad, GSWs are so much worse in the exit wound Death fist 4 poster (btw I like how ryan takes off his tie & stuff when he wears his vest, unbuttons a bit)

See? If u treat someone with respect then they respect u too. Aw that's actually kinda sweet. Crushing on Beckett.

Ok our theory is currently that the third cop is the employer, the one holding lockwood's leash Ok that's valid you've been angry over johanna's death for twelve years but also ryan was frickin tortured by this guy I think he wants him around as much as u do, esp since he's also mad on your behalf (tho ig she could also be mad on his behalf then...)

I like ryan's elbow patches. (Suit tie & jeans) What was that little look from ryan? Keep in mind I've seen this before, when I say this: {RM is encouraging them to find the third cop, claiming that the 3c must have the money to hire dick coonan to clean up the mess} Yeah they've been here all day & between the four of them a six pack isn't too much. It's late. They deserve it. JE walking in with a case of beer behind his back: Sir. Uh, I know we're still officially on duty, but RM: Authorized KR: Sláinte (health in Gaeilge; pronounced slAn-chuh)* RC: Nice work. Ooh, those are cold. These are really cold. KR : Yeah, we keep them in evidence, refrigerated storage. (they just keep booze in refrigerated evidence storage??) RC: Isn't that where you keep the-- JE: Don't worry about it. RC: (*Irish Gaelic is pronounced (in English) 'gay-lik'. The (Scottish) Gaelic name for (Scottish) Gaelic is Gàidhlig, pronounced 'gaa-lik', not to be confused with the Irish (Gaelic) name for Irish (Gaelic), which is written Gaeilge and pronounced 'gail-gyuh'.) (clipping)

Beer: *casually reveals smth* Calls him a dirtbag SOB, {like my dude, y r u sending em out to find that info?} ((We get to see the meeting in a future season!)) Love. Everyone knows they love each other.

That rubber tree plant The kiss was for a disguise & frozen in each other's arms was for wamrth & bc friends can do that too! She's right tho, it IS her life. (just like the s8 premier) It is the end of s3 so it has been 3 years now? (maybe 2.5 bc the first season was short?) You deserve to be happy, but in that tone? Ooh How over? He is not going to abandon you.

Man's angry! Martha <3 <3 I can see how he might feel it is his fault even tho he's not the one trying to kill everyone. He drug it back up. (could clip but I won't)

I love when she calls him by his first name, it is so intense & personal, he is her second dad. He supports her so much so well. He really is good for her, helping her laugh, bringing in outside ideas... Hug her. acab lol But seriously hug her. You are her dad.

Old guys, probably retired they say. Miami! Wow ryan's cheekbones in this lighting... KR says he DOESN'T believe a "badge" is behind this. (Metonymy) {keep this detail in mind} (But then ryan is the first to crack abt you know who)

Oh no he's the third cop isn't he? {yeah he is} lol order off the menu (so roy made a deal with The Big Bad Guy to protect beckett) He would SO be found out B'y god's got nothing to do with this

What about the son? The way u hold someone intimately lets you put a thumb over their lips & kiss them That's an old timey gun. I like it. Another old timey gun.

Wow it's already been all day! Nothing eventful happened all day... At least miami dade got back to them this evening. Going out w/o telling her? I mean ok.

Big sad.

Bro's still wearing an nypd sweatshirt? Tight is a good word. Some rookie? Young enough to not be retired yet Could he have maybe misremembered the name if there were 40 others he needed to know the names of too & it's been 10 years? Montague maybe? He looks so baby *gulp* Rips up the photo, tbh that's rude

[JE is walking out into the alley] KR Hey! You know it's him. (He looks like he's about to cry.) Montgomery's our third cop. He's the one who altered those records. JE How can you even say that? How can you even think that?! Montgomery brought us on to Homicide! What do we got? A picture!?! KR (whispered/strained) Think about it. (Nromal but strained) Why else did he want us to take Lockwood out? Because Lockwood leads us to him! (Hun he told u to go after the third cop.) He's been lying to us. (Espt also looks like he might cry.) He's been lying to us the whole time. [JE shakes his head, mouthing what I think is "I'm out" & turns around to start walking away.] KR Hey! [Ryan grabs Espt's shoulder] JE Get off me! [Espt punches Ryan & turns around again. They fight. KR grabs him from the back & pushes him into the wall/truck/whatever that thing is. Espt pushes around & gets Ryan pinned to the truck with his hands on his shirt. & not in a sexy way. JE is yelling, holding KR's face & has his fist next to his head.] KR Go ahead! Go ahead! [JE throws Ryan's head to the side as he lets him go. They both lean against the wall, breathing heavily. They both look emotionally ruined.] KR Beckett.

AAAAAAGHHDSKJFSDHJ THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE & then they just don't talk about it.

Please don't let him be the one to kill her Girl set ur phone to vibrate, u'r a cop, this stuff can be dangerous. Why cock the gun? You can't put your family thru going to jail but this happens? (So babe you uh, don't they have ballistics for all nypd guns? when they pull the slug?)

A second chance <3 Who is the "he" They might have come even if Beckett didn't show up, as long as he said he got her there. Then again, they were probs watching. He is her dad so much Good on him to bring in Castle (of all people, he brought castle, even after kicking castle out) Oof this is where I stand They probs saw three figures there & probs even know he means to kill them. Castle is great he just picked her up like that! She was flailing & kicking & he just did what the captain said! Beauty!

(so lockwood has a bunch of people here too? Lockwood is not The Only One y'all) So there are four ppl there. Didn't they kill the two guys with Lockwood during the previous relevant episode? KB & RC came in to save JE & KR & they ended up shooting two of lockwood's people? Now lockwood has four more. Shoot from the hip... RM: You got that ass-backwards, boy, you can't hide from me.

love how they brought back the ass backwards line How did he shoot all of them so fast? Also with a gun like that wouldn't he have to cock it every time? Or maybe not, it was old fashioned, not old. It probably has the mechanism set so that the back thingy & the trigger are attached to pull back too. lockwood got shot, he's back up & running now? Love the music btw. Noooo not behindy! I saw to that. You're done, Lockwood, we both are. & that's why he had a sixshot & a second gun! ...Which was just up his sleeve like that & definitely dangerous

How did u know that was the last shot? What if lockwood was still alive (again) & now he's coming to kill you? At least she is wearing short heels Check his pulse maybe?

Lol acab. I'd just as well watch the Helena music video.

Is this beckett's apatment? I can't tell. Family. Doesn't include his legal family tho apparently. & you have accepted castle back? You know it's weird, Espt & Ryan are like Becket's little brothers (& big brothers) sometimes, they give Castle the cold shoulder in defense of Beckett; other times they are brothers with Castle, they have said "mom & dad [are] fighting" as if caskett is a relationship & those two are the kids, sometimes the captain is the dad. It's just so good to me. So good. Found family is lowkey cliche but I love it still. (But this means u can't tell alexis, martha, lanie, jim, or anyone, bc they are extended "family" not immediate "family" right?)

Who's the guy behind Espt there? Also why didn't Esposito shave?? I feel like Castle should be wearing a hat, just to fit in. Not a hat like theirs, but some sort of trilby maybe. Tbh I really like seeing the pigs in their blankets. Not only because I like fancy stuff (I say wearing the same dirty jeanjacket with holes in it like some crustpunk) but also bc I like seeing them in hats, speaking as a hat wearer myself. & who's the guy behind Ryan?

Crying quietly, 👌 love it You don't necessarily owe it to him, you owe it to his family, you owe it to them to get the pension & access to the widows+orphans fund & w/e.

I like how they let Castle carry the casket even tho he is not a cop. Ok my man definitely needs a hat, he really looks out of place. Aw the poor family. yk acab even tho he be dead. I mean best wishes to him & the families+friends. Like tbh big acab moments. A huge funeral for him? Ok how many ppl there actually knew him personally? How much of this is just because he was a fellow enforcer of the law? How much of it is REAL & how much of it enforces an institution where brotherhood takes priority? Btw did they teach castle how to do the proper stepping for the fancy parts of walking around & turning the way they do? I thought Royce did that. KB: You might find someone to stand with you *looks over to Rick* How did rick actually see that tho? I'm glad he didn't jump in front of a bullet, it hit her first. ALSO LANIE BEING HELP BACK BY ESPOSITO Girl that's not how you save someone. U might want to put pressure on the wound or wear gloves if u have any (like airplanes) & do NOT put your hands on the grass like that

Ok cool. Now I'm actually going to watch season one bc I never had the chance to liveblog that.

Ok now I've also gathered all my clips from s3 yay

[flightyfinch]

ok this is only gonna be kinda interesting tbh bc it's been three years and i don't remember everything, this is mostly to entertain my friends

i used to freelance for Company. i started as a comics editor that worked with creators and reported to lead editors who were staff at Company and oversaw several comics at a time. idk how well this worked out as a system for Company (more on that later) but it worked well for me. eventually i was also signed on to write a comic adaptation of a book Company owned the rights to. i was given a lot of creative liberty on that and the schedule was strict but had plenty of time between chapter scripts being due, so it was pretty nice

in the middle of that project and a few others, i learned that another comic was in progress and was looking for a new writer to finish up the last 25%ish of scripts, and i was encouraged to throw my hat in the ring. i read all the published chapters of the comic and wrote up a short sample script according to prompts i was given

they wanted to see what i'd do with edit notes before taking me on, so enter two contributors to that google doc who we'll call Blake and Borpus. Blake was Company staff and a lead editor and a lovely person, i'd been in communication with her already about this job. she left nice productive notes about tweaks to the script

i never had any form of introduction or direct communication with Borpus. their name was listed on the comic as one of the creators, but apart from that i had no idea who they were. maybe they were also with Company or maybe they were an affiliate creator, but either way it looked like they'd been with this project from the start. their comments were blunt and honestly rude. this genius expected me to have included character development and backstory which hadn't been published yet. maybe they weren't looped in enough to know i hadn't actually signed on yet, i dunno, but one thing for which i give NO benefit of the doubt is that they rewrote entire parts of my dialogue. Company's editorial guide was very clear about how one should only ever provide EDITS, not directly redo another's work. on my own editing gigs i gave creators prompts and had them write the changes themselves. i only ever wrote out new lines or panels and offered them as suggestions if a creator and i had been working for a while and we had a level of trust

so Borpus pissed me off, but i still wanted more writing gigs. i took the notes and made changes to the sample script (putting BACK my dialogue and grudgingly working in the feel of SOME of Borpus's line changes) and my work was given the green light. when i signed on, to my relief Borpus's involvement vanished and i worked exclusively with dear Blake

but SHEEEESH i walked right into a mess. it looked like the comic's last chapters had been written at least once already and thrown out. i was given a rough version of the previous outline with a few story points they wanted to keep, and was asked to outline a new dozen ending chapters from that. i was given 2 (?) weeks for that and once that was done my schedule was one script due per week. this was a CRAZY speed bc every week was writing a new script and implementing edits on the previous week's script. i remember early on i was given a scrapped chapter that had reached the lineart phase, and was asked to rewrite the chapter and rearrange and reuse as many panels as possible to fit the new plot beats. it was understandable that they wanted to use work they'd already paid for and it was actually kind of a fun challenge, but it's also indicative how Fraught this production was

for the next couple months the pace was grueling, but apart from that it was fine. i wrote scripts, made edits, and they were shipped off to the art team. i reasonably thought that we were cleaning up from one emergency overhaul and the rest would be smooth sailing

after a couple of my chapters had published, Blake very apologetically approached me and i was T-boned by another overhaul. my chapters were spending too much time on new characters and story points and not enough time on the main couple...... the characters and the story points i had been assigned to do. yeah those. (specific gripe: how tf am i supposed to show the protagonist finding a place in her local lgbtq community without spending any time on the new people she meets in said community???) i made heavy new edits on scripts that hadn't been drawn yet, and i had to write one new chapter of the main couple hooking up and parting badly in order to amp up the feeling of resolution in the finale. i disagreed with this decision a Ton. this comic had been leaning hard on will-they-won't-they and it didn't make sense NOT to use them finally getting together for the finale. the reasons for the fight didn't make sense for the characters or for the fluffy goofy tone the comic had started with. but at this point i knew for sure that the clown car i was stuffed into was on fire, so i just wanted to maneuver myself to the nearest door. i made changes for them until they physically ran out of production time to ask me to make any more, and then i was done

a few other things happened mixed in this timeline of which i can't remember the order. Blake left Company (i doubt because of this particular comic but i'll never know). Company was acquired by a larger media corporation. and because i was the creator of the script Google Docs, i received the notifications when Borpus made their harbinger return and started doing rewrites to my scripts.

Contractually, anything i wrote for Company was their property. so long as any use of my work was credited and i was paid as agreed, it was theirs to do whatever they wanted with it. i know this doesn't seem to align with the practices i mentioned in the editorial guide, but it shows the hard split between the honor and respect generally shown on the production side of Company and the legal ownership rights the corporate side demanded. i could have edited those scripts as many times as they asked but they still could legally make any changes they wanted after the fact. no one WOULD, of course, bc that's stupid and insulting. no one except Borpus.

their changes sucked. characters became flatter and MEANER just to amp up drama. the scripts had been frankensteined and it was very obvious when you read them. i could have raised a stink about this if i wanted i guess, and someone probably would have stepped in on the principle of the thing, but i knew i didn't have any legal protection to lean on and this was all very clearly revealing itself to be stupid and not worth it. even in my early less muddled chapters the readers were unhappy. turns out if you keep trying to make changes to something WHILE it's in motion, people notice and realize they're being strung along. i just walked away.

as this was wrapping up Company's new owner, shockingly, did a big round of layoffs. maybe that system of freelancing editors to produce a higher quantity of comics wasn't good for quality, or maybe they were just being dicks. i don't know if anything would've even happened if i'd raised the rewrite issue, because the comic was finally ending and a ton of the people who'd made it were being let go anyway. all my connections at Company were gone and my work there dried up, so working on this comic didn't even amount to getting any better work there

to this day i don't know what the fuck was going on up top with that comic. maybe Borpus was in charge and behind every stupid demand for change. maybe this comic suffered a death by committee and Borpus was just one bad actor taking advantage of shitty management. all i know is mercifully people stopped reading this once popular comic, and it died in darkness where no one would see my name attached to it. many lessons learned, much dickheadedness witnessed. anyway the end. sometimes i like to look back on that smashed, flaming clown car wreckage, and now you can too ✌️

i think at some point i'll share the story of the shitshow that was the gl vertical scroll comic i wrote for bc i don't think i've ever explained the whole story to Anyone, and also who doesn't love hearing about a mess

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

If I may, #1 ("Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?" - I am more and more curious about the technobabble you've been posting, haha), #3 ("What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?") and #18 ("Do any of your stories have alternative versions? [...] Tell us about them.")

1."Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?"

current project is a thasmissy fic (wait do people even know that portmanteau? ive just been using it. yaz/13/missy) set between revolution and flux. it's basically vault times but with 13 and yaz instead of 12 and bill. it's about coming to terms with trauma and coming to terms with your sexuality i think most concisely put. or in other words i think ive put it like it's about "the things we dont want to touch and the things we DO want to touch". heres the video i made of it last year for anyone who hasnt seen it:

this video took a full month to make and drove me almost insane which makes sense bc editing this fic rn is driving me again insane. just need to finish two more scenes. one of which is the technobabble

it's really fun to do but also takes soooo much time. my favourite tardis wiki page is the tardis components one so im on that a lot, and then ive got a thousand wikipedia pages open about philosophical, linguistic and mathematical concepts and then i try to put words together in a way thats at least superficially a little bit convincing

it's completely incoherent of course but it sounds fun. my browser history looks like this now:

no idea what any of those things actually are <3

3 "What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?"

honestly i dont think i have a lot of those? i think generally my writing process is just that i write the scene i want to write, and either that turns into the whole fic, or i combine it with other scenes i wanted to write and shuffle then all around for a long time until it resembles something like a story. who needs set up? just jump into the medias of res babey

18 "Do any of your stories have alternative versions? […] Tell us about them."

full stories probably not or maybe there were but i dont remember now. but theres a lot of scenes with alternative versions in this thasmissy fic bc i had to puzzle and recut and rewrite a lot until it made the least bit of sense due to aforementioned "shuffle around until it resembles a story" approach

theres one scene where there was a really clear fork in the road where first i went down one route and then i was like 'oh no i cant do this, it breaks the relationship beyond what i want it to' so i had to go back and take the other path. im still fond of that alternative scene because it was also an interesting one i think

it's a scene between yaz and missy and in the cut version yaz said/did something that sort of cemented their dynamic as an echo of what my interpretation is of vault times thoschei, ie that the doctor keeps the master trapped. half physically half emotionally. because i think the master could leave, the vault or 13's tardis in this fic, but emotionally it's more complicated than that. the power the doctor has over them is that they want the doctor's love, especially missy is super overtly driven by that. the master always is but missy is unashamed and almost unresentful of it i think. missy will say "love me" out loud, basically. "i need my friend back" you know?

and what i had yaz do put missy in that same kind of position she is wrt the doctor. and they both immediately realised that and missy was like "youre just like her" and yaz was like "oh shit i fucked up". it's an interesting scene i think because being like the doctor is what yaz wants, right? and being like the doctor is why missy is drawn to her. but yaz doesnt want to replicate the relationship dynamic of the doctor and the master. she wants to be like the doctor but she also has that I Can Fix Her instinct. and i think with missy that is way more important because missy doesnt need another doctor (even though she also wouldnt be interested in someone who wasnt a little bit the doctor, you know? hi clara. i think 12/missy/clara and 13/dhawan/yaz are like two sides of the same coin. the companion a mirror to both the doctor and the master)

[1kook]

youtube & use lube

part 7 of my netflix and chill collection!

summary: You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube.  warnings: smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook rating: mature (18+) miscellaneous: domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3  word count: 8.7k  

notes: finally…. 7 parts later and we get ~✨💓sub kook💓✨~ this was honestly my fave to write I think because I was obSESSEDDD with his softness and yn leading hehe /.\ also yeah we time jumped 6 months bc uhmmm 😎 story progression also here’s [ THE KOOK U SHOULD IMAGINE FOR THIS 😡 ] also if see a typo ummm no u didn't .

let me know what u think! a simple ask goes a long way <3

Despite what past experiences may dictate, Jungkook’s body is actually quite resilient. It’s due in part to his obnoxiously healthy lifestyle; avocado breakfasts, gym rat tendencies, and a normal person’s circadian rhythm (you could never relate). He lives the life health professionals can only dream of writing down in their notes, so careful of his well-being that it’s almost annoying. Of all the habits you help him break, the rituals he sometimes forgets, his health is never one and it’s actually one he ropes you into quite often. The ladder accident last summer had truly been an odd occurrence, and for a while after, you doubt anything else will ever happen to him. 

And then winter comes. 

Now, Jungkook, with all his superior bodily systems and strict lifestyle, is still not immune to the common cold. So when he comes down with a stuffy nose, a saggy frame, you’re not too surprised. It’s right after New Year’s, which you had spent it at one of Taehyung’s classic overcrowded parties this year, shivering on a rooftop as he kissed you silly under the fireworks, so one of you was bound to get sick. And you were sick for Halloween, so it’s only the universe’s way of leveling the playing field when he gets sick after New Years. 

What does surprise you is when he doesn’t bounce back right away. Usually, Jungkook’s high caliber immune system has him in tip top shape about two days later. But this time around, it takes a while. In fact, it takes longer than usual, and you don’t realize until you’re coming over on a Friday night, met with an unusual silence at the Jeon household. 

As you slowly grew accustomed to your life out of school, you and Jungkook accepted that you didn’t really have time to be glued to each other’s hips at all hours of the day. It was only natural that sometimes you had too much work, were too tired, or were just not in the mood to visit each other. That was fine, and you’ve come to quite appreciate this new routine, because it only made your heart flutter faster than before when you did see him next. You don’t have to see each other everyday, and that was fine; it was part of growing up together (and growing old together, your sappy heart says).

But today, this separation ends up being your downfall. Jungkook first showed signs of a cold on Monday, and now it was Friday and you hadn’t heard from him in two days. You’re beginning to suspect he’s come down with something severe— maybe that strain of the flu that he forgot to get vaccinated for this year —or even worse, dead.

Luckily, Jungkook isn’t dead, just sadly slumped across the end of his bed, nose a bright red and hair a tangled mess. “Oh no,” you frown, but there’s not an ounce of distress in your voice, because boy, was he cute. 

He groans at the sight of you. “Don’t look at me,” he whimpers, hands fisting the sheets. “I’m ugly.”

You bite down on a smile, hang your bag on the hook behind his bedroom door. He’s barely making an effort to stay on the bed, clinging to the side with such powerless hands. “Absolutely hideous,” you play along, arms wrapping around his middle. Registering your touch, your support, he immediately releases what little grip he had and almost sends the two of you tumbling to the ground. “My poor baby,” you croon, manhandling him back into the comfort of his sheets. 

Perhaps the reason you believed Jungkook was so immune was because, well, he never let you see him sick. 

He was picky about his presentation to the world, always wanting to show his best side. And well, you were in that world. Hell, you were probably the main person he wanted to show off for (not to toot your own horn), so he avidly avoided showing you his unpleasant sides. Even in college, when you had been practically stuck to his side, he had always made a big deal of pushing you away when he was sick, calling off dates and hiding away at his house. 

You sort of knew why. Namjoon had told you once that Jungkook when drunk was the equivalent of a needy, whiny baby. You could attest to that because wine drunk Jungkook and vodka drunk Jungkook were quite the experiences to haul home. And apparently Jungkook when sick was more or less the same. He was all doe eyes and pouty lips, magnified by his weakened appearance. He was adorable. 

He’s wearing a lot of layers, but it’s still winter so you don’t think too much of it. Dark long sleeve sweatshirt, the front tucked into some cute brown and black checkered pants. You see it as just some casual at home attire until you reach for his covers, hand brushing his hair from his face, only to find it ice cold. 

“Oh, you’re freezing, honey,” you frown, for real this time. Jungkook whimpers, snuggles into the sheets you pull up to his chin. He dozes off soon after, pouty lips chapped to hell and back. You reach for your chapstick, deciding to get one good use of it on your own lips before contaminating it with Jungkook’s sick germs. Even in his sleep he’s a good boy, rolling his lips together after you’ve applied it on him. 

With Jungkook knocked out, you pad back downstairs and into his kitchen. You can more or less infer that he’s come down with something a little more intense than a cold. His skin was cold, and his nose was runny, but, oddly enough, he wasn’t sweating. You decide to consult a professional. 

“The little gremlin is sick?” Doyeon repeats, a comforting buzz in your ear as you get to work making Jungkook your famous Get Better Soon Soup, idly waiting for the water to boil over. You confirm. Doyeon, legend that she was, accidentally sat an entire physiology class one semester (and passed), so this is the closest you’ll get to a doctor friend. “Hm,” she says, “what’re his symptoms?”

You press your phone between your ear and shoulder, clattering around Jungkook’s kitchen for ingredients. “Runny nose and colder than your ass that one time you passed out in the snow,” you supply. “Oh, but not sweating.”

Doyeon hums over the line, tells you to give her a second, and disappears. “WebMD is saying fever, but you said he’s not sweating?” You confirm again. “Throw him in front of the heater and make him sweat then. He has to burn it out somehow.”

“I can’t do that,” you sigh, pausing when you hear some vague sound from around the house. It’s not Jungkook, so you return to your call. Anyway, Jungkook’s house is, like, perfect. Always warm when need be and always cold as well. You don’t even think he knows what a space heater is. “He’s sick sick. Like, can barely hold himself up sick.” 

She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”

Anyway, Jungkook probably has a fever, except it’s weird because he’s not sweating it out. He wakes up about an hour later, but this time he’s more self aware. He eats his soup and takes the medicine you offer him. Afterwards, he can’t go back to sleep so he huffily asks for his iPad and begins watching some weirdly specific YouTube videos you don’t think you’ve ever seen him watch before. 

You have absolutely no idea what he’s watching, some niche videos of guys in Singapore turning random forest areas into underwater pools? You don’t know. Jungkook seems interested, though, for all of ten minutes until he falls asleep again. 

He’s still cold, poor baby, nose like an ice cube that just won’t melt. You find a heating pad you left over in his closet and place it on his chest. Your thought process is that if his heart, the source of all energy, was warm, then certainly the rest of him will warm up soon enough. Yeah, you missed the last three seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; you were a little rusty. 

So with Jungkook fast asleep and nothing else to do, you assume the age-old, patriarchal task of cleaning around the house. 

His house was usually neat and tidy, mostly as a result of Jungkook’s virgo manifestations, but even those varied. His living room tended to be spotless, but his personal office was a different story. But with him having been out of it this past week, the entire house is littered in tiny garbage that would make Normal Jungkook burst a blood vessel.

There’s a pile of Reese’s wrappers in the downstairs bathroom, on the sink next to his toothbrush. The sight makes you sad, because your poor boy must have been struggling if he was eating candy in the bathroom, where he… uses the bathroom. And then that thought makes you even sadder, thinking back to all the times he was sick and alone, fending for himself out of his weird embarrassment of showing normal body functions. 

You had thought he was cute when you first arrived— he still was —but he was also so weak and frail, bulky muscles rendered useless by whatever bacteria was attacking his body, making him sleepy and in pain for god knows how long. With a resolute nod, you sweep all the wrappers into the trash and decide to do your very best at helping Jungkook get through this sickness and bounce back better than ever. 

Before leaving his bathroom, you ransack his cabinets, deciding he probably keeps most of his antibiotics here. It’s a spot you never really snoop around, because Jungkook always keeps a fully stocked basket in his closet filled with your typical necessities— from conditioner to pads to nail polish remover, he kept it all. And furthermore, you always tended to use his upstairs bathroom anyway, so that’s where your toothbrush and the like were kept. There was really no need for you to ever look through the downstairs bathroom’s cabinet. So the downstairs bathroom cabinet is practically the other side of the world to you, a culture shock so strong it has you plopping down in front of it to thoroughly sift through. 

He’s got a disgusting amount of hair products, none of which you actually think you’ve ever seen him use, and a maniacal amount of tooth stuff. Now, you were quite possibly the biggest proponent for dental care, but this was ridiculous. Four packs of floss on reserve, and about three cases of those dental picks. A whole family pack of toothbrushes and one of those cute little cases for his retainer you’ve seen a few times. 

So overwhelmed with his ungodly stash of dental hygiene utilities, you almost miss the pretty pink tube hidden in the very back corner. 

You’re thinking it’s some makeup primer you left before that he mistook for moisturizer, probably dumped it with all his other things, only to find out you are very, very wrong. 

Sensation Warming Lubricant: NOW! in strawberry flavor 

You blink. 

Lubricant? Jungkook was using lubricant? Strawberry, sensation warming lubricant?!

Somewhere in your mind you had convinced yourself that Jungkook was a simple man, a lotion at his bedside drawer type of man. He had you for the last one and half year, and you two fucked like rabbits, so you hardly doubt he was jacking it alone these days. And even if he was, why on earth was he so specific about the type of lube he uses?

You turn the bottle around, eyes scanning for an expiration date or something of the like, only to find that the copyright symbol was under this current year. The year that had just started, like, two weeks ago. 

Oh, so this was new. 

You turn it over, eyes scanning over the warnings like it’ll tell you something about your boyfriend you don’t know yet, some other hidden secret that he’s maybe held from you. Granted, owning lube isn’t really a big deal, but the fact he’s got it so hidden away (not really, it was casually sitting beside his sunscreen) was definitely something to zero in on. 

Strawberry flavored, you read again, warming, stimulating, edible? Forget his weirdly extensive floss collection, you had stumbled upon something amazing in here, the goddamn Hope Diamond among snooping girlfriend finds. You’ll confront him about this later, you decide, when he’s back to normal and not whiningly calling your name from upstairs. You pocket it for now, tucking it into your cardigan pockets for said later interrogation, and bound up the stairs to him again. 

He’s sitting up in bed like a very angry and confused toddler, brows furrowed sharply like he’s mad. Actually, he just can’t see, the light from the hallway blinding him, so you shut the door and flick on his bedside lamp for him instead. “Hi, honey,” you coo, sitting down on the edge beside him. He’s still waking up, leaning a little too heavily into your palm when you cup his face. “How’re you feeling?”

“Terrible,” he rasps out, but he’s definitely looking better than before. You don’t know if you imagine it, but there’s this slowly accumulating sweat that forms along the base of his neck. “Please don’t leave again,” he says softly, droopy eyes glassy. 

Something shoots straight to your heart— an arrow from Cupid himself! —that makes you stroke his cheek tenderly until his eyelids are fluttering shut again. “I won’t,” you promise, feeling around for his iPad. He doesn’t seem like he’ll fall back asleep, sitting up with more strength than he had that morning. 

You end up climbing behind him, let him be the little spoon you know he secretly craves to be, as he watches his weird YouTube videos again. His body is so warm against yours, but his skin is still so cold. If what Doyeon had said was true, it’s no wonder he’s kept the same sickness all week. The rhythmic sound of machetes hacking at the earth and water trickling through bamboo pipes grows on you, makes you fall into a sense of comfort behind him, arms tracing circles over his chest. 

It’s a mindless habit, one you actually do a lot. Most of the time, it’s when he’s at his desk and stressed out, your masseuse hands making an appearance to soothe the muscles in his neck and chest from being hunched over for so long. Even now, your fingers unconsciously press into the fabric over his pecks, tickle up his sternum until he’s melting against you. 

It takes one quiet whimper from him to let you know exactly how he’s feeling. “Everything alright?” you inquire, halting your movements over his chest. Jungkook nods shakily, head lolling forward. The nape of his neck calls to you, whispers for a kiss that you tenderly bestow upon it. It makes Jungkook jolt, another pretty sound leaving his lips at the press of your warm lips against his sensitive neck. 

“No more,” he mumbles, rolls his head around until it’s resting against your shoulder, giving you a clear view down his chest. You slide your hands back up from where they’d gone stiff just around his ribs, let them palm over his pecs. Jungkook’s hips buck, a minuscule movement you almost miss. 

His heart thunders like the inside of a horse race track beneath your palm, breath picking up just from the simple motion of your hands on his chest. It’s on the fourth circle around his pecs that you feel your pinky briefly catch on something. “Poor thing,” you sigh, running the pad of your pointer finger over the hardened nipple that peaks beneath his sweatshirt. “Is this what was bothering you?” 

A shaky exhale in response, hands tightly clutching at his iPad and beloved YouTube video genre. “N-No,” he denies, but you chance a peak at his face, where his lips are bitten a rosy pink color, its slightly muted sister rushing down his cheeks, over his neck. 

You press the lightest of kisses to the side of his neck, and he shivers. “Need me to take care of you?” you purr, trail your hands down his chest towards where the hem of his sweater sits. You run your finger over it twice, before moving to slip your hand beneath. Your fingers brush along his abs, contracted tightly at your touch, and slowly make their way back up his chest. 

Fingers find his pebbled nipples, a gasp escaping his lips. “Does this feel good?” you ask softly, pinching the swollen nubs between your fingers. Jungkook groans, body arching just the slightest as you rub his nipples, tug and twist them until he’s a whining mess. “Need you to tell me, honey,” you encourage, lips ghosting over his neck. 

The second kiss has him flinching as well, head rapidly turning the other way as you slowly kiss over his neck. “___, please,” he pants, knuckles pale on the sides of the iPad. You're afraid it’ll snap, if not from his grip then from the way he pushes at it, like he’s breaking a wooden board over his knee. It’s still on YouTube, playing another video from the same collection, volume competing with Jungkook’s tiny sounds. 

Pressing your lips to his neck, you kiss along it slowly, reveling in the lovely noises that Jungkook produces the more you rub his nipples, lower body squirming animatedly before you. Your kisses grow wet for a short period, suck purple blossoms across his skin until Jungkook is quivering like a leaf. “E-Enough,” he begs, voice a wobbly mess that is so light and airy. 

You grin, giving his rockhard nipples one last flick before sliding your hands down his chest, over his stomach to toy with the elastic of his pants. He inhales sharply, iPad nearly snapped in half mid video. Ready to play with him some more (and slightly afraid for the future of his tablet), you reach out a hand to move it away, set it off to the side. 

But Jungkook doesn’t release it. In fact, he clings to the damn piece of tech tighter than before. “Hmm?” you murmur, bottom lip brushing against his neck once more. “Not letting go, sweetheart?” 

He shakes his head, soft crown of curls bouncing from the movement. “Can’t, can’t,” he shivers. His knees shift back and forth, move between being casually spread and flush together. Like he’s hiding something, using the iPad and the videos on screen as cover. You tug at his wrist and Jungkook shakes his head again. 

You change tactics, hand sliding around his wrist instead. The other travels up, up, up, comes curling around the base of his neck. Jungkook whimpers, tilts his head back for you cutely at the first brush of your fingers against his Adam’s apple. “Thought you were my good boy?” you ask, eyes zeroed in on the tremble of his lower lip. 

Jungkook exhales shakily, a rather torn expression crossing his features. “I am,” he insists, fingers still tight “I am your good boy.”

You smile, stroking the front of his neck softly as you lean down to press a kiss against his cheek. “You are, aren’t you?” He whimpers. “Then let go, honey,” you murmur, hand on his wrist giving another experimental tug. Still, his grip remains solid. “Jungkook,” you snap, “let go.”

“Y-You’ll laugh,” he cries, yet his grip slowly weakens. It’s with a swift tug that the iPad tumbles to his side, presses against his hip, and shows you the raging hard-on that stirs beneath the front of his cotton pants. Pressed nearly beside your ear, Jungkook shivers. 

Ever so slowly, your hands return to their place around his waist. “Why would I laugh, sweetheart?” you mumble, marveling at the way his cock twitches and jumps beneath his pants before you can even touch it. His shirt is hiked up just above his abs, your hands tenderly stroking over the skin beneath his navel, but it’s got Jungkook writhing. “Hips up for me,” you instruct. 

He shakes even when he pushes himself up, knees wobbling as you slip your hands beneath his waistband and tug them down his thighs. Afterwards, his legs flop forward flatly, spread out with his beautiful swollen cock on display against his hip. 

You trap it at the base and Jungkook mewls, hands fisting the sheets now that his beloved iPad has been snatched away. It’s still playing his videos, interrupting his saccharine moans with corny ads every few minutes. A hand snaps up to join, opposite of yours, until your fingers are entwined around his dick. How romantic, you think, discreetly rolling your hips back against the mattress. “Gonna help me make you cum?” you ask instead, give him a light squeeze that makes him jolt. 

“Uh huh,” he responds, feathery. 

You reward him with a kiss to his cheek, reaching up to brush away the hair that’s begun sticking to his forehead. In the very back of your head you recognize this as being good for his fever, but the rest of you is more concerned with the pretty pout on his lips. “Hold tight for me,” you smile, releasing his cock to press your finger against the very tip of his cock where a pearly drop of precum has begun forming. “So pretty, Jungkookie,” you praise, teasing the length of your finger over the slit on his head. It has that juicy droplet coating your finger, gliding seamlessly over and over again. 

The simple touch makes him buck, has him blindly wrapping an arm around your bent knee that was pressed to his side this whole time. He squeezes around you rather weakly, the majority of his strength going to holding his cock tightly like you’d instructed. He’s such a good boy for you, trying his absolute best, even when you’re very obviously overwhelming him. 

You roll the flat side of your finger over him, his mushroom tip slowly growing more and more slick as he produces more precum. It’s shiny, fits perfectly between your clasped fingers when you squeeze around his head. Jungkook’s breath turns labored. 

He’s always so well kept down there, skin so smooth and free of hairs, and you know he does it because he wants to impress you. “So pretty, baby,” you hum, acknowledging his efforts. Your praise makes Jungkook moan, suddenly fucking up into his hand. It’s accidental, because he hisses at the drag of his dry palm around his relatively dry dick immediately. 

“Hurts, hurts,” he whimpers prettily, lower lip caught between his teeth. 

You frown, slide your wet fingers down the base of his cock until they’re wrapping around his and Jungkook’s little gasps even out. “I’m sorry, baby, you gotta be patie—“

Something presses against your hip, something distinctly hard that you had hastily picked up from his bathroom cabinet earlier, and a whole new door opens before your eyes. “Hold still for me,” you tell him quickly as you release your grip around his cock. Jungkook wails at the separation, but you’re more concerned with wrestling the tube out of your pocket with one hand. It’s heavy in your palm, turning over until that big fat label on front comes into view again. 

Jungkook explodes at the sight. “Wh— Where did you find that?” he stammers, cheeks ablaze. “I-I don’t know where that came fro—“

You ignore him, hold the bottle of lubricant over his stomach as you uncap it, a gooey pink substance spilling over into your hands the moment the lid pops off. Jungkook is still rambling away about the origins of the bottle, as if you care. You set the bottle on his tummy, the cold plastic makes him shiver. But you know what’s not cold? The warming lube in your hands that only takes three rubs of your palms to activate. 

You latch down like a crazed animal around his cock. With both your hands fighting to grip at his cock, you’re pressed closer against Jungkook, lips against the shell of his ear. 

The initial touch makes him sob, back arching and legs kicking at the sheets piled at the foot of the bed as your slick hands track the lube over his dick. “No!” he cries, hands wildly reaching out to grab whatever he can as you slowly get to work pulling him off. “I-I can’t, __, I can’t.”

“You can,” you coo, watching the translucent pink substance coat his cock, join his sticky precum. 

Maybe you get overexcited in your efforts, forget Jungkook is the way he is right now because he was still a little weak from his fever, but you go crazy on stroking his cock. One hand lingers around the base, squeezing and rolling over his balls, palm pressing against the hardened sac and squeezing there too. The other focuses at the tip, does most of the actual stroking over his cock. His head is leaking precum now, every stroke and squeeze making him shudder and push out another drop, until it’s mixing with the lube to form a sticky sweet substance that you wanna lick at so bad. 

So you do. 

You release one hand to curiously bring it up to your face, turning it over and around as you examine the stickiness on your fingers, the fat drop that unintentionally drips onto the front of Jungkook’s sweatshirt. He sobs at the sight of your lips around your fingers, squirms and bucks into the hand still on his cock until he’s embarrassingly coming. “I’m sorry,” he wails, hands fisting the sheets, fucking into your hand like a virgin. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to.” 

You draw your hand away, watching in slow motion the cum that just spurted from his cock come dribbling down the slowly softening length now. “Oh, sweetheart,” you croon, hands on his tummy. The bottle of lube slips to the side, meets the still playing iPad at his hip. It’s sticky and gross to touch him like this, especially when you know Jungkook hates being unnecessarily dirty, but you can’t stop yourself from softly caressing him, soothe him after such a hard-hitting orgasm. 

Honestly you had thought he would hold up a little more, let you get in a few more strokes, but he must’ve been more sensitive than you thought. “I’m sorry,” he cries again, head lolling to the side to meet your gaze with watery eyes. 

You tilt his head to the side, angle him just right for you to bestow your first kiss of the night against his little pout. Jungkook hiccups, melts against you as you slowly guide him through the kiss. He’s sloppy and shy, moves nothing like your normal Jungkook, and that fact alone has you slipping your tongue past his lips. He doesn’t fight back, just lets you play with him and sighs all delicately against your mouth. 

There’s something about this, his soft and submissive attitude, that has you pulling away to look at him. Big brown eyes, glassed over with unshed tears, and plush lips that call your name. And yet. 

“Open,” you murmur, hypnotized by the way that tiny mouth moves. 

“Huh?” Jungkook flushes, but he’s so good, he’s your good boy, and does so anyway. Lower lip quivers as he parts his lips, stuttering exhales creeping through as you purse your lips, let the saliva collect on your mouth, before rudely spitting into his. He flinches, whimpers softly, and swallows. He looks at you with these expectant eyes, like he wants to hear how much of a good boy he is, so you do exactly that. 

You brush his bangs away lovingly. “Aren’t you just so good for me,” you purr, revel in the way his eyes flutter shut at your touch, like you could never hurt him, and you won’t. 

As sweet as the moment is, there’s a raging fire in your core begging to be stroked, and your hyperfixation on Jungkook’s mouth lets you know there’s only one way to chase the feeling. “Up,” you tell Jungkook, who whimpers sadly when you finally escape from behind him. 

But you don’t get too far, settling beside him on the bed until you’re looking at the damage you’ve caused from the front. His skin is sticky in some places, pink sheen of the lube decorating him from your incessant touching. Pants around his thighs, shirt against his chest. His face is flushed, all the way down to his chest and up to his ears, so rosy and pink all for you. He shies away under your gaze, drops his head to his chin bashfully. 

You grin, shuffle forward to turn those pretty eyes back towards you. “Messy little thing,” you tease, slotting your mouths together again. Jungkook moans this time, lazily kissing you back. His lips move in slow motion, trembling hands reaching for your face to cup, your name falling from his lips when you pull away slightly. “Need you to help me out now,” you murmur, hand on his jaw. “Can you do that, honey?” Jungkook nods hurriedly, eyes foggy and on your mouth. “Lay back.”

He does so, rushes to lay against the pillows until he’s flat on his back. You get to work on your clothes, shed your cardigan and languidly tug your top over your head in the way you know makes your breasts bounce. Beneath you, Jungkook whines at the sight. “You too,” you remind him, wiggling out of your jeans. At your instruction, he begins fumbling with his clothes, pants and underwear haphazardly thrown over the edge of the bed. 

By the time you’re naked, you’re met with a rather amusing sight. 

In his haste to take his clothing off, Jungkook seems to have gotten himself tangled in his long sleeves, shirt awkwardly bunched up around his wrists and twisted over some. You chuckle. “Help please,” he asks so politely, shaking his arms back and forth above his head. But you’re genuinely confused as to what he did, because one of the sleeves wraps around the other, pins the bulk of the fabric to his skin, and then the other wraps around that. A mess you don’t bother dissecting, simply climbing over him. He complains, of course, soft huffs you wave off. 

“Don’t need them anyway,” you shrug, can’t help the lovesick look you send him when you brush his hair away for the umpteenth time. Jungkook leans into the touch sweetly, rosy cheek pressed against your palm. “Lemme see your pretty little tongue,” you order, pussy clenching when he does as told and rolls his tongue out for you, tip pressed against his bottom lip. “Good boy.”

A soft whimper, and then you’re shuffling over him, pretty doe eyes watching with amazement when you finally hover over his face. “For me?” he asks so softly, so sweetly. 

It’s a question you’ve heard him utter countless times before in similar settings, always with a cocky grin and mean eyes, ready to send you to hell and back with his tongue or his cock. But it’s different now, big shiny eyes looking at you like you’re the greatest thing to ever happen in his life, so pliant and demure beneath your touch like he lived to serve you. 

“All for you,” you assure him, get comfortable, and slowly lower your pussy over his face. His eyes flutter shut immediately, pink tongue ready for you by the time your dripping cunt nears his face. 

You can’t help the moan that tears itself from your throat, a soft cry as he begins lapping against your folds. He’s so tender, so careful. It drives you crazy. Hands above his head squirming as you slowly grind your pussy over his face, more mindful than usual because he was so delicate tonight, like a baby bird that shivers with the simplest touch. 

His tongue is smooth, circles around your clit. He nudges your bundle of nerves back and forth a few times, sends an initial wave of tingles down your spine, before taking it between puckered lips. His slurps it into his mouth, where it’s so hot and wet, it makes your grind stutter. “Oh,” you pant, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “P-Perfect,” you mumble. 

The praise makes his features twist up cutely, mouth desperate to get more out of you. “You like that?” you gasp, holding his head still as he runs his tongue along your folds. Jungkook nods, eyes glazed over as he messily begins eating you out. “Like when I tell you you’re a good boy, Jungkookie?” 

He lets out a broken whine, the vibrations shooting up your spine and making you shiver. Tongue pressed in at your entrance, prods gently like it’s his first time (it’s not) and he’s gauging your reactions. “Oh baby,” you shudder, fingers tightening in his curls. 

He looks like an angel beneath you like this, halo of curls artfully splayed across the sheets, arms knotted above his head. Big pretty eyes that make you want to lay down and be his bitch instead, their power just so strong even when he’s whining and whimpering against your pussy like this. His tongue dips into your cunt, makes you buck against him by accident. “I’m sorry, angel,” you breathe, so caught up in your thoughts that the name just slips. It makes Jungkook’s cheeks flush a pretty pink, arms tug at their makeshift restraints. But his brain is scattered, torn between releasing himself, eating you out, and being shy. 

He settles soon enough, ends up just sticking his tongue out flat for you to grind against, using the grip in his curls to drag your pussy over his face. His scalp feels warm, sweat clinging to his hairline. He sighs endearingly against you, and it’s that final puff of warm air against your folds that has you coming, cum dripping over his lips and chin sinfully. 

When you finish, you quickly get off of him, lay down beside him. Jungkook is panting softly, tongue peeking out to taste the cum that splattered against the corner of his lips. “You were so good for me,” you praise, idly dragging your finger across his skin, collecting your cum on the tip. 

Jungkook looks at you with a heavy gaze, knotted wrists slowly returning to rest over his abdomen. “Can you… Can you call me that again?” he asks hesitantly, so shy and polite. 

“Hm?” you ask. “Angel?” His lips part, an awfully aroused look crossing his features. You smile, press your cum loaded finger against his lips and he opens, sucks around your finger and moans. “My pretty little angel,” you purr, slowly thrusting your finger in and out of his mouth. Before you can stop yourself, you’re leaning over to kiss him again, swallowing his cries in your desperate need to taste yourself on his tongue. Jungkook is more active this time around, daringly challenging your tongue with his before ultimately giving up, languidly following the pace you set for the kiss. You pull off with a pop, leave him dazed and trailing after your mouth cutely. 

You pat his cheek once, offer him a tender smile, before moving to get up and clean up. Jungkook whines at your departure, and it’s only once you’ve sat up that you realize why. 

Half hard cock at his hip, fattening slowly but surely. Instantly, it’s like the post-orgasm fatigue is yanked away, pussy throbbing at the sight of your angel and his cock, swelling from eating you out and kissing. He was too good to be true. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” you sigh dramatically, shifting onto your knees at his hip to look at him. Something pokes your leg; it’s the stupid iPad playing his dorky YouTube videos that you click off and chuck to the other side of the bed. You had had enough of that by now. 

He’s not at full mast yet, and he’s not getting there quick enough for your liking. So you take matters into your own hands. (Besides, what was stopping you tonight? Certainly not this soft, pliant Jungkook.)

Kneeling between his legs, you reach for the forgotten bottle of lube, squirt a fat glob into your hands, then decide that isn’t enough and squirt it directly onto your chest. Jungkook watches with wide eyes, lower lip caught between his teeth. “What— What’re you doing?” he stammers, can’t even sit up with his hands held together. “__, y-you don’t have—“

Squeezing your breasts together, you slip his cock between the crevice, watch as his angry head comes out on the other side so easily, so slippery. Oh, this was gonna be post-work, shower-time, spank bank material for months. 

Jungkook sobs, loud and unfiltered at the sight, expression torn as he watches you slowly work your tightened breasts down his quickly hardening member. “T-Too much, too much,” he cries, squirming and bucking beneath you. “I-I’ll come—” 

“Don’t,” you snap, stilling your moments to flick your eyes back to him. His head is rolled back, jaw strained, but when he manages to lift it up and look down at you, there’s tears that streak his cute face, trails that glisten when the lowlight of the lamp hits him just right. “Don’t fucking come yet, Jungkook.”

He sniffles weakly, more tears spilling from his eyes. “But I— it feels,” he blubbers, knotted hands reaching down for the base of his cock. You slap it away. “___, please,” he wails, face flushed from all his conflicting emotions. 

Ignoring his cries, you get back to work, moving your upper body to and fro to simulate the thrusting motion he is too weak to do himself. He whimpers pitifully, more tears leaving his eyes when you lean down and spit on the head of his cock when it emerges next, make it join the rest of the ungodly fluids painting your chest. Honestly, you’re certain it’s that damned strawberry flavored, sensation warming, edible lube that makes this experience so enjoyable, so mind-blowing. 

Jungkook seems to agree, stuttering out a messy whine. “Feels weird,” he snivels, only to be cut off when you release him from in between your tits. Immediately, he begins lamenting the loss. 

Slowly, you ease him back in. You’re beginning to understand the intensity of that damned warming lube, because with each glide of his cock between your breasts, it’s like a tingle of nerves sparks within you, insides folding in on themselves as they channel all their energy to that one area of hastily spread lube. It feels so good and wet and messy, Jungkook’s whiny sniffles only fueling the experience. His cock twitches dangerously, and you flash him a glare. “Jungkook,” you warn. 

“I’m sorry,” he weeps, thrashing back and forth as if that makes it any easier. “I just— I want,” he chokes, hips bucking into the suction you’ve created between your boobs. Tentatively, you stick your tongue out, let his tip brush against it on the next thrust. Jungkook curses, a feral groan escaping his lips. “Wanna fuck,” he seethes, “now.”

It’s but a slight peek into his regular personality, his normal mannerisms. But something about it now annoys you. In fact, it pisses you off, seeing him be so complacent and sweet just to try and overthrow you at the last second. And it’s with this same train of thought that you release him, climb over him like a crazed sex demon, and press your hand to his throat. 

“You're supposed to be good,” you spit, scowl turned on him and it immediately has Jungkook drawing back with his tail tucked, falling into line as he should. “You’re supposed to be my angel tonight, remember?”

Jungkook nods, big round eyes looking at you like you’re insane, but the cock that presses against your ass tells you that he likes it. “I-I’m sorry,” he stutters, shrinking back into the mattress. Sticky hands around his throat, probably make him warm and tingly, but all you can think about is those pretty eyes. Sensing your wavering emotions, he takes advantage by tilting his chin forward for you cutely, pink lips trembling as he silently asks for a kiss. 

You release him.

“Stupid angel,” you huff, mouth against his. “Gonna make me mad if you don’t act right,” you remind him, pushing his sweaty curls away from his face. He whimpers against your mouth, let’s you play with his hair as you calm down. He’s a blushing mess beneath you, every inch of him flushed and warm and sweaty. 

You shift back and are met with his still rock hard member against your ass. You touch him appreciatively, reaching back to stroke him with a half-assed grip. It makes him moan nonetheless, pulling away from your lips to mewl against your shoulder. “Wanna fuck?” you hum, curling your hand over the tip like he likes, watching his head roll back against his pillow at the sensation. Jungkook groans, doesn’t seem to hear you now. You try again. “Wanna fuck my pussy, baby?”

“Yes,” he gasps this time, jolts when you press the tip of your finger against the slit on his head, plug his cock from releasing any more precum. “Please, please,” he begs, the hands on his chest straining against the shirt he still hasn’t managed to shake off. 

One last kiss is delivered to him, a chaste one against his pout that makes him whine. “Whatever you want,” you purr, line him up. 

Your hands are still sticky with the lube and so is his cock. Everything is sticky; his cock, you folds, your tits, his neck. It’s a big sticky, slippery mess, but you can’t even be annoyed because everything feels so good. Your tits tingle from whatever they put in that damn lube, nipples rock hard and extra swollen today, like if you don’t touch them you’ll die. You sink back into Jungkook’s throbbing cock, and the second his cock spreads the lube along your walls, you’re jolting because it just feels so damn good. 

You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. 

His cock pushes past your folds, fits snugly inside of you just like it belongs. It still feels like the first time, feels like your first day where he was so perfect and sweet. Part of you wonders what would have become of you two if he had reacted like this that day, soft and whiny, when you first prepositioned him. Maybe the sexual aspect of your relationship would be entirely different today, maybe you’d be one the always leading. 

But… you’re not sure if you’d want that. Leading is fun— hell, you’re certain this moment will be what you get engraved on your tombstone —but you were a pillow princess at heart with occasional dominant tendencies. You drool over this moment now, but if he asks for this again tomorrow you might actually bend over and die. It was a lot of work, keeping the energy going, and you find yourself having this newfound sense of respect for Jungkook as his cock slips past your folds. 

Anyway, when you sit on his cock, fingers teasingly tightening around his throat, Jungkook’s eyes are weirdly focused on your tits. He’s been doing that a lot lately, losing his mind by just staring at your tits. On some occasions he puts them in his mouth, gets possessed by some titty loving monster and sucks on them until you’re trembling. It’s fine because it’s quite frankly a huge ego boost, but something him now makes you want to pick at him for it. 

“They’re yours to taste, angel,” you hum, slowly rolling your hips over his fat cock. Jungkook whimpers, softly ruts up into your heat the next time you press down. “Tell me what you want,” you exhale, a breathy moan. 

He doesn’t say anything, just drops his mouth open for you with a trembling lower lip. Tongue peeks out, eyes glazed over in his lust, looking every bit like those hentai ads he hates so much. But you fulfill his wishes, help him sit up until he’s flush against your chest. His awkwardly bound hands get squished in the middle, and he says, “m-my hands...” 

“I’ve got you,” you soothe, undo his self-made restraints and toss them to the side. Immediately, he’s wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush against him to latch his lips around your breasts. “S-Slow down,” you whine, hands on his biceps as he sucks your tit into his mouth, twirls his tongue around your nipple. He’s good with his tongue even when he’s sick. 

He pulls off with a pop, ragged breathing only making you more sensitive as it fans over the thin layer of saliva he leaves on your tits. “Tastes like strawberries,” he groans wondrously, head against your chest. You use the lull to get back to fucking yourself on him, but Jungkook’s got other plans. He rolls the two of you over, pins you beneath him with his hot and sweaty body. “I’m sorry,” he moans as he begins jackhammering his thrusts into you. 

Your back arches, legs thrown around his waist as the sudden change of events. “Fffuck,” you heave, “harder, angel— gotta fuck like you mean it.”

Jungkook shudders, hands looped around the small of your back. His cock rams into you over and over, each glide of it against the walls of your pussy making you unravel in his arms. His lips latch around your other boob, suck and suck like he’s expecting something to come out.

That’s when it hits you. 

“N-Nothing there,” you tell him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. His lashes are wet, eyes pinching tighter at your reminder. He pulls away almost to protest, but then you’re guiding him up to your face, hot breath mingling with yours. “Nothing there because you haven’t given me a baby yet,” you murmur darkly, watch the emotions flood his features as you tap into that taboo kink of his. 

He chokes, grinds his cock into you and holds it there. “I-I didn’t,” he sniffs, “we never— you never said,” he whines, “...you wanted one.”

You cup his face in his hands, feel slightly mean for the pride you get from his tear stricken appearance. “I do,” you purr, lazily kissing him. “Want one if it’s from you. Don’t you?” He nods like an antsy puppy, quivering against you as he slowly and shallowly ruts into you. “Don’t you wanna see me like that, angel?” you egg on, hands looping behind his neck, idly playing with stray waves and curls. “Tummy so big and swollen because you did something bad, because you couldn’t pull out.” 

Jungkook sobs, pulls you impossibly closer until the head of his cock is missing your cervix repeatedly. One of your legs is pressed nearly to your chest, hip tight from the force in which he holds you. “I-I want,” he agrees, more tears spilling down his cheeks. 

You smirk evilly, kissing the corner of his mouth gently as he slowly picks up the pace of his thrusts. “Then fuck me hard, Jungkookie,” you demand, “fuck me full of your cum.”

Jungkook nods with a sniffle against your shoulder, fingers tightening against your skin as he slowly but surely begins nailing you into the mattress. He’s a good boy, always, because he does exactly what you tell him to. Uses those bulky muscles to hold you down, makes it impossible for you to move as he pistons his hips, cock sheathing itself inside your cunt. 

Every drag makes you unconsciously clench, the raw feeling consuming your thoughts. His cock is so big and wet today, certainly due to that stupid lube from beneath his cabinet. Your entire pussy feels like it’s on ecstasy, stupidly geeked up by that lube, and you’re sure Jungkook’s cock feels the same. It makes the glide so much better, so much easier, each ram of his cock feeling so easy. “Oh, fuck,” you whimper, nails digging down his spine. Jungkook is a sobbing, sniffling mess against the crook of your neck, absolute gibberish falling from his lips. 

But you’re no better, tongue seemingly set on a chaotic rampage to validate every single one of his fantasies. “Gonna fuck me while I’m pregnant?” you pant against his ear, fingers tugging at his hair. He doesn’t offer more than a strained cry, thrusts momentarily falling out of rhythm. “You would like that, huh? Fucking me when you’re not supposed to. You’re so bad, Kook-ah,”  you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Only pretend to be an angel but really you’re just a dirty, little pervert.” 

He wails loudly, slams his hips so hard into you that it makes you sob as well. “N-No,” he blubbers, tears against your skin. “I’m good— I’m a good boy,” he stresses, fingers bruising their prints into your skin. 

He presses so close, cock practically making your stomach bulge, but neither of you see. “Dirty angel,” you spit, yank his hair back roughly until he’s forced to look at you with that watery gaze. “So horny you’re willing to get me pregnant.”

Jungkook cries out, snaps his cock into you like he’s trying to break you in half. “No,” he heaves, tears dripping down his cheeks and onto yours. “I-I-I’d do it right,” he defends weakly, hips losing their demonic pace as his orgasm sneaks up on him. “Ma— Marry first… then, b— ba— bab—“

You swallow his words with your lips, kiss him like you’re on the verge of death in a desperate attempt to hide your tears from him. They paint your cheeks in stark strokes, trail down your skin and make everything blurry, but so does your orgasm. 

You come first, heart and body trembling at his unexpectedly sweet words, as you become a whimpering, teary mess beneath him. Jungkook follows, cries out your name one last time as he busts inside of you. 

Sticky and gross, he falls onto the pillow beside you. Poor baby is so tired, curls covering half of his face, but lips cutely puckered against the pillow. He’s sweaty as hell though, which you now vaguely remember was your original goal with all of this so you count this as a success. 

You think he’s fallen asleep, sitting up slowly and reaching for that t-shirt that bound him together earlier to clean up. He shudders when you run it against his skin, obviously still overwhelmed. You shift around the bed in search of today’s MVP. “Where’s the lube?” you mutter to yourself. 

Jungkook groans. “YouTube?” he asks, voice dry as all hell. 

“No, honey, the lube we used,” you respond, running your hands over the sheets for any signs of the pink bottle. 

“Want YouTube,” he mumbles, lets you swaddle him up in the blanket again. You roll your eyes and reach for the forgotten iPad that had long since tumbled to the floor. When it turns on, that same video from before is on pause so you don’t bother changing it as you hand it back to Jungkook. “Nice,” he murmurs, “underground water slide.”

You snort. “Weirdo.” He glares cutely, eyes barely open at this point. “Watch your YouTube.”

“Use your lube,” he sasses back softly, nonsensically, and then rather anticlimactically passes out. 

There’s something soft in your chest, something so big and overwhelming, that has you bending over his sleeping figure, mouth brushing against his. “Hurry and get better, angel,” you whisper, wish on it with all your heart. 

 To no one’s surprise, you get sick two days later. Doyeon laughs and laughs for hours about it, tells you that’s what you get for using sex as medicine. But Jungkook’s back to normal, which means he stays over and coddles you to death. 

“Hurry and get better,” he says, spoon feeding you your famous Get Better Soon Soup that you passed on to him. “I have a question to ask you.”

There’s a little black box in his downstairs bathroom cabinet that you swear you’ve never seen, but Jungkook knows you’re lying. 

It fits perfectly. 

epilogue

She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[ilydenji]

Please do a pt 2 of toxic traits that had kenma, kageyama, and Tsukishima. Please make it fluff in the end🥺. I loved it

❝toxic pt. 2❞

↳haikyuu boys toxic traits part two

characters: kenma kozume, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei

warnings/tw: toxic relationships

a/n: I'm so glad you loved the first one !! I hope this is good enough afndjsmsj

(this kinda long sorry lmfoaodjrnf)

part one here

kenma ;

-its been a few weeks since the two of you had talked properly.

-you did what he wanted, you had broken up with him.

-it felt weird going back to your regular life as if nothing had happened. as if you didn't spend half a year with him.

-it did hurt when you realized he didn't even care. that day when you walked away from him, you doubted that he gave it a second thought.

-but, unknowingly, the whole situation was slowly eating kenma up with guilt.

-after your breakup, he briefly had talked about it with kuroo and that’s when he realized how much of an asshole he really was.

-he missed it when you watched him practice, apparently, the other members of his team did too.

-“where’s y/n? are they okay?” lev would ask the most.

-“they broke up idiot- if you’re wondering how they are ask them yourself” of course, yaku would hit him for even mentioning them.

-up until now, kenma never noticed the little things that you did for him. how you would praise his hard work after practice or a game.

-how you would softly comb your fingers through his hair while playing games. or how you would bring him lunch every day in case he forgot to eat.

-not only that, but he started missing the little things about you as well.

-how your nose would scrunch up when you laughed,

-when you would hold his hand, you’d always rub circles on his thumb.

-how you would hum when playing with his hair.

-all those things, why hasn’t he realized them before? why did he let you go?

-why did he hurt you so bad?

-he wanted to— no, he needed to apologize to you.

-he wanted to be with you again, though he didn’t really think he deserved you anymore.

-he wanted to try anyway.

-you received a text from him in the afternoon. you were hesitant to answer. what could he be asking for? his hoodie that he left a month ago?

-when you finally decided to answer it, it read-

-“Can I please talk to you.”

-he wanted to talk now? he had a chance weeks ago. months even.

-you just sighed and texted back saying yes. he asked if he could come over and you agreed, maybe things would end off on a better note? you’d be lying if you said you didn't miss him.

-when kenma came over, he looked different than how he usually did. he didn't have his psp and he didn't use his phone once.

-he slowly walked to your bed and motioned you to sit next to him.

-“I’ve been a big fucking asshole to you, y/n. I'm so sorry I treated you like that.” he would start.

-he ended up apologizing for everything and told you he never realized how much care relationships need.

-“you deserve so much better. it’s selfish of me to even consider the fact you’d take me back but. I missed you a lot, I'm so sorry for hurting you.”

-you wanted to be with him again, to hold him and tell him it’s alright.

-instead, you rest your hand on his shoulder with a squeeze.

-“it's okay, it’s fine. I messed up along the way as well.” you’d start. kenma kept the same stoic expression he usually had. but you can tell in his eyes, he was hopeful.

-“but maybe we don’t belong in a relationship. maybe not yet at least.”

-kenma understood what you meant.

-in the end, the two of you had agreed that to ever get back into a relationship again he had to work on letting himself be vulnerable around you.

-he had promised to be better for you, and wait until you were ready to be with him again. although you had promised to be with him sometime in the future, the pang in his chest didn't fully go away.

-the day ended with him in your arms, comforting him.

-his arms were wrapped around you, his head in the crook of your neck.

-“kenma, I still love you. you know that right?”

-kenma didn't exactly answer. instead, he pulled you closer to him. you could feel his smile against your neck.

-you both still loved each other but decided to take it slow this time. not wanting to hurt each other.

kageyama ;

(reader is into photography bc that's the only thing I could think of I'm sorry lfmsoakedjdnsn)

-it’s been a few days since his last game, where he basically told you that you “clearly didn’t love him”

-in those few days, kageyama couldn’t explain what he was feeling.

-he always had trouble expressing his emotions. so he often ignored them.

-but this time, there was a pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t go away. whenever he looked at his phone he would be tempted to call you.

-he wasn’t so sure if that was a good idea, but the silence was killing him.

-one day during practice he had asked hinata if he had seen you.

-hinata nodded and told him you were out in the courtyard doing club activities.

-kageyama didn't know you were in a club? though, he hardly payed any attention to that stuff.

-he wondered how he could be so clueless, you two have been together for months.

-that day, he skipped practice. that on its own was a whole different story.

-he managed to find you outside, taking pictures of the flowers and anything remotely interesting you could find.

-but no matter how mundane, kageyama didn't fail to notice the smile you had.

-he recognized that look in your eye, that was the look he had whenever it came to volleyball. how could he have not realized how happy your little hobby made you?

-he wanted you to be happy, to see you smile with so much passion like that.

-kageyama approached you cautiously, trying not to scare you.

-“what do you want kageyama?” you started. it startled him a little.

-you didn't need to turn around for you to know he was there. hinata had texted you that kageyama was coming, of course.

-“Nothing... I just.. missed you I guess” he sat down next to you. neither of you had talked, it became awkward fast.

-“so... you like photography? I didn’t know”

-“of course you wouldn't.”

-kageyama cringed at the words. you weren’t wrong in the slightest, he had been ignoring your interests for the longest and he feels like such an ass for it.

-“I'm sorry for not paying attention” he stated. you nodded at his words. but that wasn’t enough for him.

-“I should’ve payed more attention to you, it’s my fault I got so caught up in my own head” still, you didn’t say anything but you did turn your attention to him. progress he thought.

-“I should’ve realized that this, is just as important to you as volleyball is to me.” he rested his hand on top of yours. in return, you squeezed his a little. he smiled softly.

-“I’ll give you more of my attention from now on. okay? I'm sorry y/n. I love you, I really do.” he finished. and that’s what you wanted to hear.

-you wanted him to acknowledge his wrongs and apologize. you knew kageyama struggled with his emotions sometimes but he would eventually come around.

-you rested your head on his shoulder.

-“did you really skip practice for me?”

-“of course I did”

-by the end of the day, kageyama had learned that relationships aren’t just a one-sided thing. that you cant constantly be supporting him without him supporting you.

-he promised to you that no matter what it is that you would do, he would be right by your side cheering you on.

tsukishima ;

-the days had turned to weeks, and tsukishima was barely paying any attention to you. after your little fight, it was clear that he wouldn’t say a word until you said something first.

-but you were scared to.

-how could you not be? his teasing crushed your self-esteem.

-you would notice things about yourself that you never saw before. picking at your skin for the tiniest imperfections.

-or even trying to change your appearance in any way you could to seem different, but in the end, tsukishima didn't pay attention.

-but someone else did, yamaguchi. he was close to tsukishima and knew what was going on.

-he was the first one to comfort you after your fight with your boyfriend. he promised to you that the things he said weren’t true and he never meant it.

-yamaguchi was slowly replacing tsukishima as the days went by. still, the two of you remained friends.

-“I think you should talk to him, y/n. he misses you I know it” he told you one day. he was on his way to practice and asked you to come with.

-you didn't know if that was really true but you decided to put your trust into him.

-instead of going into the gym yourself, you waited for practice to end nearby. you didn't want to be a distraction.

-when practice did end, tsukishima and yamaguchi ended up being the first ones to come out. yamaguchi was smiling as he yelled out for you. tsukishima stayed silent.

-walking towards the two made your anxiety rise. it was nerve-wracking honestly.

-the three of you ended up walking to the gate before yamaguchi told you that he had somewhere to go first and he’d meet you two later.

-after that, it was just the two of you. you noticed how although his house was in the opposite direction, he still walked with you. you smiled a little at that.

-“So what’s up with you and yamaguchi?” he said bluntly. the abrupt interaction kinda scared you a little.

-“Nothing, we’re just friends. why?”

-“nothing. I just don't like seeing you all friendly with him.”

-“Are you jealous?”

-“I guess so”

-his words were so blunt it left you confused.

-you asked him how he could say something like that when he’s been ignoring you for days. and not only that but just straight-up bully you.

-tsukishima stayed silent at that. he had stopped walking at this point, and so had you.

-“listen. I'm sorry for saying those things to you, I was just stressed and took that out on you. I never meant to hurt you y/n, I mean it” you knew tsukishima wasn't the type to talk so openly about how he felt.

-he probably meant it.

-it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt you. you told him what his words had done to you, that you had tried to change yourself for his approval.

-at this, tsukishima brought you into a hug. he held you close to him, softly petting your hair.

-“I'm sorry y/n, I’m sorry for taking it too far, for making you think so low of yourself. I promise you I never thought those things about you, I was just mad. I should’ve never taken it out on you.”

-at this point, you didn't know if you should be happy about it or cry.

-“it hurt tsukki.” was all you said to him.

-“I know. I'm so sorry y/n, I understand if you cant forgive me.” he pulled away from you to move your hair away from your face, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

-“I understand that I’ve hurt you. you don't need to forgive me. but please know that I love you so much.”

-afterward, tsukki ended up walking you home, holding your hand the rest of the way.

-he knows things might not go back to being the same, but he’s willing to work on letting you past his walls, being nicer towards those he loves, you especially.

-you know old habits die hard and that relationships aren’t always easy. but this was a journey you both were willing to take. both learning from each other to make sure this never happens again.

——-

I'm really hoping this is okay uh- I tried to make this as wholesome as I could but continuing the theme from last time. I might have to just make fluff has for these three after HANDFJDNN (i’m also very sorry for my terrible english @(*$@*(24)

[stardustdiiving]

General confidence genshin is about to cook with this patch: 41%

I legally do not let myself go too high until I can vibe check the livestream. But I’m 👁️

Some things on my mind about why I have a good feeling about this so far:

Albedo’s most recent notable appearance was in Simulanka this past summer, where he shows up in a way that made it very clear to me they were planning on revisiting his Dragonspine related plot threads very soon

If Wanderer isn’t featured here (because he absolutely would be if they were following through on the Durin thing right now) I’m assuming we aren’t getting the complete elaboration of that plot thread…but definitely going to be paving the way for some things. Albedo being featured w the two most potientslly explosive lore relevant mondstadt characters is one thing on its own, but Dragonspine being in the background just confirms something is up

I can’t get over how suspicious Venti looks here. This is kind of ground breaking in my brain bc while we’ve had years of suspicious allusions to venti in lore material it always been stuff you have to dig for, never front and center to this degree. This as I said could be a red herring in some form: I don’t believe with absolute certainty Genshin’s going to be going full on into whatever the hell Venti has going on right now and he could be more relevant than some ppl may be hopeful the art implies…but I think we’re getting something. They’re going to be dipping into it at least a little even if it’s just jangling Venti in front of us for 5 seconds like keys so they can bring him back later via swinging him like a bat at you full force

Kaeya’s recent notable appearances have also taken the time to tie him into new lore developments (see: Caribert). His hangout event (released in the same time frame as these lore drops) may have seemed mostly like fluff in this regard…but we do get what very much feels like the writing taking the time to imply Kaeya’s stance on his Mondstadt vs Khaenri’ah conflict which just makes me feel very “hmmmm”

Kaeya not being center focus on this poster and small…but still by Traveler gives me this impression he’s either just going to be chilling and show up a bit to help further the plot, or they’re really going to have us drag his ass through a Plot Beat and make sure he’s around it to, again, pave the way for things later

As for Jean…I can see her also just being here to chill or help out with plot progression like Kaeya, but maybe with a little less going on. There is another wildcard option here which is that genshin suddenly decides they really want to utilize her as an emotional focal point for whatever the current story is (genshin loves suddenly bringing in characters you thought they weren’t interested in delving into and suddenly really prioritizing you resonating with them emotionally). This would be kind of cool and a pleasant surprise, bc when executed well this phenomenon tends to contain some of genshin’s most compelling character writing…but isn’t really something I’m expecting. More just that I know it’s kind of a “lottery” possibility for if Genshin seems like they want to give more focus to a character: bc to me there’s a difference between Genshin pushing a char at you more vs suddenly deeply committing to them when they hadn’t before

I feel ive heard pretty consistent rumors about Mondstadt getting some focus/lore expansion these last few months…idk

We’re in the back end of the 5.x patches now, and this is definitely the timeframe where genshin wraps up most of the stuff they wanted to drop on the newest region upon launch and shift to focus on other things that they think need some attention. I noticed their momentum w patches being super interesting has been at generally a low point due to Natlan’s lukewarmness. My vibe is either they dropped the ball and just forgot how to make stuff land after having a good momentum w Sumeru + Fontaine, or they’re about to kinda pull themselves out of a “rut” and suddenly come in to knock it out of the park w a specific patch. Bc the latter is something I feel has happened before

We are still due for a 5.0 interlude patch….hmmmm

TLDR my vibe is genshin is at least about to dip their toes into some mondstadt related plot threads we haven’t seen much of in a while for this patch. However….and this is me straying on the conservative w my genshin writing intuition here, I don’t want to go in expecting they’re for sure going all the way with things right now. I’m more setting my expectations that we will at minimum be getting stuff that paves the way for greater slams of lore & plot elaboration…with the other end of the spectrum being this patch contains something that serves as a narrative catalyst/really starts shaking some things up. This is the range I’m placing it on…but I don’t feel confident getting my hopes up without more to vibe check off of

Venti, Kaeya, and Albedo are all characters I feel incredibly confident will be followed through on plot thread and lore relevance wise. Unless I actively see genshin fumble what it seems to have set up for them on screen I generally anticipate Genshin wants to commit to these characters and they’re on the path to either starring in some pretty iconic story moments like Xiao Perilous Trail, Scaramouche Sumeru AQ, Furina AQ, etc because…tbh if they don’t and make decisions that undermine the characters’ intrigue it would be a very negatively groundbreaking indication of how competent Genshin is capable of being in areas I feel tend to be more of its “strong suits” to me yk

So I’m anticipating something here. But these 3 characters are also ones I know genshin won’t want to really go all into until they really feel the time is right to #lock in. This is just generally how they write. They may leave a character chilling for years but then suddenly come in and give them an incredibly solid storyline out of no where, because my honest opinion is when Genshin really decides to commit to a character they’re usually REALLY about to go all in and basically any hype/emotional significant on screen character moment you probably like from Genshin falls into this category in my mind . So when it comes to characters I feel Genshin already knows it wants to utilize narratively like Venti or Albedo it’s really just a matter of scoping out if I think the vibe is right for wether Genshin seems ready to go all in

In the opinion of my twisted mind with hyper specific intuition about genshin character writing sensitivities . Of course. This may sound like nonsense to everyone else but trust me when I say it’s been a pretty consistent active vibe check for how much Genshin is going to cook or not for me in the past. NAHNSJSJSJS

GUYS .

[galacticlamps]

writing asks!! 22, 26, 30? o:

22 - What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

I couldn’t figure out a short way of answering this. It’s under the cut.

26 - What would you describe as OOC?

Something that doesn’t earn its keep. I think I can be convinced a lot of things make sense in context if a text is persuasive enough, but when it introduces/implies character traits that either conflict with things that were established before it, or are new but big enough to then become conspicuous by their absence in earlier appearances of that character, without sufficiently addressing the discrepancy with a good, believable reason for the change/omission, then I put it down to being OOC. And of course, the burden of proof is proportional to the size of the thing in question.

((Because of that, the feeling also applies to canon stuff in lengthy series like Doctor Who or Star Trek, especially when it feels like a failure of a particular writer to capture existing characters well, rather than an intentional decision or a plot twist to take them in a different direction. So the question of “does it feel earned?” and even “does it feel like you at least tried to earn it, and knew you had to earn something, whether or not I think you succeeded?” are probably what determine my feelings there.))

In fanfic & other written mediums though, even more often than interpretations of a character I struggle to make sense of, the thing I most often find myself considering OOC is dialogue. Maybe that’s just because dialogue is even less often explained than actions - only rarely will narration elaborate upon why a character chose to describe something in a certain way, so there’s less of an opportunity for those justifications I seem to judge by - but for some reason, OOC actions make me think “What are you, Writer, making [character] do???” and OOC dialogue makes me go “Well that’s not even [character] then, is it?”

I think I’d feel this way anyway, spending as much of my time as I do around plays where what’s said & how it’s said is such a large part of a script, but let’s face it - one of the characters I most frequently write & read fic for speaks what ranges from a dialect to an accent depending on who’s writing him, and phrasing/word choice with him never doesn’t feel significant. I know it’s certainly something I spend a lot of time thinking about when I write Jamie - whether he’d use a Scots word/expression or not depending on the context of the scene, who he’s talking to, how he’s feeling at the moment, hell, even the words directly surrounding it & what sounds like it’d flow more naturally, given all those other factors, in that exact sentence - and I’m sure many of those choices I make are too small to read as being meaningful most of the time, without even getting into whether or not someone else would agree with my judgement. But I still wind up doing that every time I write him (admittedly, more in the edit than the first draft) not because I think I’ve got such a mastery of language or even because I believe everyone that reads it is running through it with such a fine-toothed comb, but because hard-to-swallow dialogue is just one of those things that pricks up my ears and takes me out of a story quicker than any other way in which characters could be OOC.

30 - Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

To be honest, I don’t actually have any fics that I consider abandoned - partially bc I’m quite content working on a wip for a long time before committing to finishing it one day, and partially because even when I am sure that’s my goal, I’m aware of how slow I can be - so even if I haven’t made any progress on a particular story in months, that isn’t enough for me to think of it as officially “not happening” anymore. The closest I can do is describe a fic that I thought was much closer to completion than it turned out to be, over a year ago:

At its inception, it was a one-shot told from the Doctor’s perspective, in which Circumstances have forced Jamie to admit his feelings for the first time in a very unideal situation, and he’s especially upset about this because he swears he was planning on telling him soon, he just really wanted to go about it correctly. Pretty standard fanfic fair, shouldn’t be too hard.

The thing was, I wanted there to be some irony in that this confession happens only a number of days after the Doctor came to terms with his own feelings, decided they were unrequited, and promised himself never to tell Jamie about them - and I wanted the audience to be aware of that the whole time, to’ve seen him make that decision before Jamie’s confession even began. So I knew that meant I needed a prelude set in the recent past, plus the plot details that would give sufficient context to the Original Scene - all the dialogue of which, start to finish, and even a little of the narration, didn’t even come to 2k. I already knew what all the explanations were, I wasn’t blocked or anything, but when it came to turning them from Facts I Knew About The Fic into actual storytelling, they were way longer than I was happy with. Which I know isn’t evil in itself - if I wasn’t okay with writing things that turned out to be longer than I originally thought, there’d be even less on my Ao3 page - but in my head this was very much meant to be a fic about those 2k words, and now it felt like the stuff that was supposed to just be there to support it was instead completely overpowering it, maybe even drowning it out, and that I didn’t like, so I stepped away from it.

I still work on it every so often, but I haven’t figured out what my goal should be - to keep it under 5k at any cost, or to turn it into a multi-chapter adventure-style story even if that means the focus isn’t what I want it to be on anymore. I do quite like both that original 2k and the context in my head that makes it make sense, so I’m still convinced I’ll get it on its feet somehow, eventually - but the two options are so different from each other that I have to make a firm decision before anything I do can be considered “progress” so it’s the most-stalled WIP I have at the moment.

Writing Asks!

Back to ‘why these two idiots over & over again?’

I’m not sure if this question is supposed to be about the appeal of fanfic in general or not, but being me, I’m just gonna make it about Two/Jamie. Which I think is fitting not only because it’s 90% of what I talk about here but also because even though I’ve been in fandom since high school, and shipped lots of things and had plenty of opinions, and even written fic before, I never had anything I’d call an OTP before them. So without getting into what I love about them either as individuals or a ship, I think they have a very specific appeal to me as a fanfic pairing - partially because their relationship sits right at a sweetspot between fleshed out and undefined in their source material, and partially because of what that source material does & doesn’t leave me wanting, and a certain level of inexhaustibly they also share with other characters from that era of the show.

We’ve talked before about how infrequently they make announcements about what they mean to one another, how most of the time it’s demonstrated in their behavior rather than declarations about being best friends, and I know I’ve also mentioned that I don’t think said behavior would change all that drastically before & after starting a romantic relationship. Their actions are consistent and make up a significant part of their relationship, and yet there are some pretty basic questions they still leave unanswered from a shipping perspective. They have good, instant chemistry, which could easily rush things along - but they also have believable reasons for stalling both recognizing and acting upon their feelings - they both come from cultures that would frown upon a relationship between them for various reasons, on top of the typical Friends-to-Lovers conundrums of ‘Are my feelings a betrayal of our friendship?’ and ‘Even if they aren’t, is confessing them worth risking our current relationship?’ And since it’s so hard to pinpoint how or when they’d get together, the relationship could be in basically any stage of development at just about any point in their continuity. Personally, I could see them acting upon their feelings for the first time in Season 4 or 6 (or even 6b) with pretty much equal likelihood, and I don’t believe there’s any kind of fandom consensus on the timing either, even though so many people are happy to refer to them as married.

And that’s great for the whole ‘same two idiots falling in love over and over again’ thing for a couple reasons - on the one hand, it obviously offers a ton of variety since you can read or write about it happening in so many different ways, and with different supporting characters, situations, and levels of personal history involved leading up to it, and still accept that’s how it goes as long as the story’s executed well - but it also means there’s no part of canon that’s like, The Gay Part - the whole thing is. Sure, there are episodes with more Good Bits than others, and the first few stories when they’re both newer to each other & also sharing the screen with two other main characters are the ones that feature them interacting the least - but generally speaking, any time you’re watching them, you’re watching the relationship you like, there’s no waiting for it to get good or develop into the version of it that’s shippable, because it’s so beautifully consistent across their era.

And that’s the other thing I find uniquely appealing about them & why derivative, transformative, interpretive works suit them so well - I think a real strength of their relationship (not even as a couple but as an element in a narrative) is its very stability, which is tightly connected to the kind of story it originated in: a long-form serialized episodic scifi tv show where the plots are driven by mystery & adventure, to which the consistency of the main characters’ relationship provides a comparatively solid foundation & contrast. In short, they’re characters that thrive best on being plunked down into various scenarios the audience can watch them weather, and they’re people we can get very attached to without ever having focused on too too hard on, in the source material. And that already makes them a goldmine for fanfic potential, but there’s another element in there that I think is harder for me to explain.

Initially I wrote an even longer-winded explanation for this bit & got really pretentious citing different dramaturgical approaches & everything, but basically, it boils down to this: I have never wanted their source material to be more about their relationship - not simply because canonicizing it might limit the otherwise limitless possibilities for imagining how that relationship came to be - but because I think something fundamental would have to change (be lost!) in these characters that I know and love if they existed on a show where inter-personal drama and romance were major elements of the plot & narrative.

And because of that, when I look at works of fanfiction (or even EU materials, which in this respect really are the same thing) that aim to ask ‘what if,’ explain things canon doesn’t, or further explore things canon incorporates but hasn’t exhausted, I never feel like it’s a consolation prize or some kind of second-best to what could’ve/should’ve been onscreen, because I think those are the spaces where an exploration of their relationship really belongs - not as a sideline, but as a more natural habitat where they can freely thrive. For different characters originating in a different work, fanfic might mainly serve to speculate about what could happen next or even to correct something disappointing that canon failed to do - and while Two/Jamie can do stories like that too, they aren’t bound by it. If you’re going to fic for those reasons primarily or even exclusively, I think there’s a chance of finding the “fic to end all fics,” and feeling like the box has been ticked and the need met and then some of the motivation & appeal would go with it.

But with the Second Doctor & co, even setting homophobia and eras and the realm of possibility totally aside for a moment, I don’t have some fantasy about a Drama- Romance- Genre show about the evolution of their relationship or anything else I turn to fanfic for - I love that their relationship primarily exists as the status quo in a show of a different genre, and that the times when it’s put under the magnifying glass are only rare moments on tv (like being one of several plotpoints in Evil), or EU stories that exist specifically to let audiences spend more time in the company of characters no longer current, or Fanfic that purposely defies genre to make a scifi serial briefly into a character piece or a romance instead, either because it’s telling the story of an event that’s truly different from Life As Usual, or just because it’s looking at that routine from a different angle. I like that you have to look at the story from an angle distinct to the one from which the tv show is told to see the other facets of what is conceivably there. No, their source material was never about the Doctor & Jamie being in love - but since they are, you can choose to make it a story about that if you watch it with 3d glasses on - if you engage with it in a space that zeros in on the personal, the mundane, the things happening when the main adventure is not.

For me, the medium & genre combo that produced these guys means that I never actually wish something would or did happen onscreen - all I ever want is the ability to believe it could be part of their story anyway, and as a derivative work, fanfic very much offers that, so “watching the same two idiots fall in love over and over again” doesn’t get old, because that’s an end unto itself, and specifically the only end I want when it comes to these particular characters.

[alister312]

3, 15, 18, and 26!!

in reference to this

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

TOUGH QUESTION……. That good ol’ imposter syndrome is always rearing its head and saying “nothing” ofc but nah. I did some pretty good work this year!! Honestly I might have to say the reworking of “Just Business” [gregstophe] mostly because I know where it was at before . As anyone who has read v1.0 or even v2.0 knows, it was in bad shape 😅 which is why I was so intent on fixing it up!! And while I think the story could still definitely use improvements (is this me foreshadowing JB v4.0 lol), I’m so proud of the parts I chose to fix this time around. Not only that, but republishing it got me both back into the SP fandom and into writing fanfic again!! That fic just means the world to me, truly.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Ok I’m not going to count my two in-progress fics (“What Makes Cloves Grow” [gregstophe] and “From Pencil to Pen” [style]) because obviously I plan on continuing those. Especially since I’ve already got them all the way planned out already.

Outside of those, I’d honestly like to get back to my Gregstophe Public Void series. I’ve been in the middle of “Lotta True Crime” for months and the others all have rough plans. Another WIP I like that I’ve got is one of my scrapped potentials for the style zine! I know YOU read it bc you beta’d for me for the zine (thank you again) but for everyone else: It’s called “303-144-7826” and the basic idea is that, as kids, Stan and Kyle got phone numbers where the last 4 numbers spelled each other’s names (so kyle’s number is the title: 303-144-7826(STAN) and stan’s number is 303-753-5953(KYLE)). It was gonna be a sad beginning into hopeful ending sort of fic which is why ultimately I didn’t do it for the style zine (decided something fluffier was better). Maybe next year I’ll work on it though 👀

already did 18 over here

26. What’s your most common category?

I never know how to tag shit on ao3 so I don’t know if I’ve got a legit common category?? If I had to take a guess, I’d say whatever “the real antagonist is miscommunication” would be?? I love writing fics where the problem is less of something tangible like another person or natural disaster or something, and more of two people just not being on the same page, or being on the same page but not saying it and going about expressing things differently. Whether it be unknown mutual pining like in “Embrace for Impact” [cryde] or the shenanigans of making assumptions like in “Books, Covers, and a Drunk Man’s Words” [kengory].