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Happy Meat Day everyone!

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Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

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DRAKE KILL YOURSELF NEOW

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message to all bitches

please survive

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2024-07-27

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hi my job is 100% funded by gov grants this has been the a rough fucking week.

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i deal so incredibly well with change!!! my natural reaction to it is just so positive!!!! i really take it in stride!!! i don't even give myself migraines and gastrointestinal issues and night terrors!!!!

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i think there’s something to be said about how the gig economy makes things ostensibly more convenient but also worse. and not just like, doordash guys take too long to get to you so your food is cold. but because the business model is centered around a million people doing work without any familiarity with what theyre doing and decentralized from the businesses they’re working with, you get service that’s being reinvented from scratch every time it’s purchased.

it happens all the time that I’ll order an uber and when they pick me up, they’ll just stop in the middle of the street with their hazards on, making me dodge traffic to get to them and pissing off the cars around them. and then I’ll get in the car and chat with the driver and find out they’re actually from two counties over and they’ve never driven here before, so they don’t know where parking is or whether they’re heading to a wide open parking lot or a busy downtown. and then you start to realize that they’re not being a dick, they’re just given as little information as possible every time they pick up a ride so they have to just guess how and where to pick up a passenger. and since they’re paid by ride, they’re incentivized to pick you up as fast as possible. and all the people who cared about finding a safe place to pick you up quit the app or stopped doing that so all you’re left with is the pissed off cockroach motherfuckers.

and then you see that this happens with every fucking app. doordash sucks because you pay 8 million dollars for delivery and you still have to hike half a mile to find the guy because he got lost in your apartment complex. Instacart sucks because the guy picking your groceries couldn’t care less about getting ripe fruit and replaces your heavy cream with shaving cream. customer support for all this sucks because the guy helping you can’t do anything more than offer you $5 credit, beg for your forgiveness, and hope you get out of the queue fast enough for him to go to the bathroom. because all of them aren’t given enough time to do a good job or enough money to care.

and every time a gig worker makes the experience suck for you, it’s a rational decision. they’re evaluating the money they’re being paid and if it’s worth getting paid less to do a good job, and correctly deciding that it isn’t. so you can’t even get mad, because you’d do it too. and so the company manages to pass on its race to the bottom to its lowest-paid employees.

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Personally, I think the best way to burn the Gävle goat would be to infiltrate the security team, play the long game y'know. Join the team and keep the goat safe for 3 or 4 years, maybe even 10 years, make them trust you, maybe marry a fellow security person. Then, when they least expect it, whoosh up goes the goat, your beloved is the first on the scene, you see the devastation in their eyes as they ask 'why? Was it all a con?' And you will sweep your beloved off their feet and dip them in front of the blazing goat as the head crumbles into itself sending up a column of dramatic flames. And you will declare your love for two things: arson, and them. And then you sloppy kiss and run away from the law together.

Eighteen years later, a young person who looks suspiciously like the both of you joins the security team...

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ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

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America be like "you cant have free healthcare or easy access to disability but you can have a gun"

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I love your art please don’t become problematic

I was thinking of committing some pretty problematic stuff, but just for you I reconsidered

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I like how there’s a category of careers (cowboy, pirate, spy, princess) that have a very specific historical and political context that they get stripped of for the entertainment of children

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Actually that no punctuation plot hole ooc wattpad fanfic written by that 12 year old will ALWAYS be better than character ai. And I love that 12 year old btw

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Dunkin' Donuts, 1985