#like ma'am i See You
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Books of 2024: WHEN AMONG CROWS by Veronica Roth.
I finished this last night! It's a shortie (only 166 pages!), and the first thing I've read by Roth since DIVERGENT. Since I didn't vibe with that one, I tried not to be overly optimistic about this one, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it--it was a great little bite-sized modern urban fantasy set in Chicago that draws on Polish folklore.
Cool magic system(s), cool monsters, cool underground boxing ring featuring said cool monsters and cool magic, thoughtfully drawn characters (Dymitr and Ala and Niko, my beloveds,), complicated Sibling and Family Relationships, a little bit gay, VERY bloody (featuring ah. fingernails. and. spines.), an emotional gut punch at the end, and y'know the more I list here the more I think I like it?? She (Roth) also acknowledges Witcher in her post-book shout-outs, which. yeah. If you like Witcher, I think this is worth checking out!
#books of 2024#book photo#book photography#when among crows#veronica roth#library book#this is the shiny bane of my photographer's existence btw#FORREAL HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO THIS#i also really did like how the literal monsters aren't the only monsters#are not in fact even the worst monsters#dymitr :(#he's doing his Best#the blurb for this was kind of bullshit tbh#definitely the tagline was bullshit#but i really did have a good time!#the witcher#just for visibility lmao#i thought she handled the second generation immigrant thing well too#like ma'am i See You
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Social anxiety level: Chatting with someone experiencing a schizophrenic episode and becoming increasingly self-concious of how I'm just saying "That sounds really stressful", "I've never heard of that but it sounds scary", and "You must be pretty worried about that" over and over again
#They needed someone to wait with them while their friend came to pick them up#And the whole time I was waiting for them to call bullshit#Like YOU HAVENT SAID ANYTHING MEANINGFUL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS#I'm sorry I'm making this one about me ma'am I'm just terrified that everyone I talk to is gonna give be a bad grade#I don't understand or beleive most of what you're saying but from the legit science you're quoting I can tell you've done some research#The research stuff I appreciate we can totally talk about that#Please God let me talk about Chordata or HTML instead of the thing I can't see or hear wouthout encouraging your delusion#I'd get SUCH a good grade at discussing invertebrates with you
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both trying their best
based on interactions in +r, i drew these before aba was announced but just remembered they existed
#i liked the way her voice always sounded like she was in immense pain#guilty gear#aba guilty gear#ky kiske#a.b.a guilty gear#i love how his reaction to seeing aba for the first time was like OH MY GOD MA'AM ARE YOU OK?????#undescribed
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#ronal gave her a taste of her own medicine lol#I know she's got trauma and all but she literally watched Spider grow up from an infant exposed to nothing but the Na'vi way#and she's still convinced he'll turn out like Quaritch#i'd get it if she was wary of unknown humans but this is your weird kids' ONLY friend before they move to the reef#she doesn't have to LOVE him but at the very least she needs to respect that her kids love him and let them be#and not try to ban them from seeing each other#or try to jump him cause ma'am you had no reason to do all that to a child 😭#and all while Mr Jacob “I helped Quaritch plan Hometree 9/11” Sully gets completely forgiven#I NEED Avatar 3 already cause I need to know how Neytiri and Spider's relationship will be resolved#cyren myadd draws#avatar#avatar the way of water#avatar the way of traumatizing spider#avatar 3#neytiri sully#neytiri
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What is this for, love? Home, or glory?
#pokemon#swsh#assistant sonia#gym leader nessa#aquaheartshipping#mermay#on a technicality dskjfhjk but hey. it is the base concept#maybe later on in the month there will be an actual monster. but for now. themb#happy baku draws dr. jones and callie again!! I still think about them. about dr. jones' six phds#instead of going home to ur wife!! ma'am#this was fully like. me fucking around with colors probably. I was just coasting my digital energy while its still there#and then. here it is#the full res file of this is very big#my last two digital things are all drawn on a giant canvas lol#(the other digital thing. u gotta wait to see. itll be awesome)#this tho. this is here on time. fish!!#I may need to lay down#well what else is new!! I gotta wake up early tomorrow to marinade the stuff. so. you know how it is#have a good night!! home or glory its all good!
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I really hope that creature starts arguing on hyde's side if I'm honest because this isn't the first time frankie saw a scientific creation as not being a person and if I was creature rn I'd be more than a bit pissed it was happening again
#the glass scientists#tgs creature#like imagine you've spent like twenty years helping this woman learn that even if you aren't human you are still a person#and the second she sees another humanoid creation she starts relapsing to her old habits#I hope we just get him like:#👁👄👁 ma'am what does that mean about how you perceive me? am I a person to you? answer me. answer me victoria.
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How I think an instance of Cove climbing to MC's window went via text
Cove: MC
Cove: MC
Cove: MC
MC: GIVE ME A SEC COVE THERE'S SOMEONE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
Cove: I know
Cove: That's me
MC: Cove
MC: It's like-
MC: 11 pm today-
MC: ITS NOT EVEN TODAY ANYMORE
MC: IT'S TOMORROW
MC: I ALMOST SCREAMED
Cove: please don't
MC: I WILL IF YOU DONT STOP STANDING THERE LIKE MICHAEL MYERS
Cove: I brought snacks
MC: get tf in here
#our life beginning and always#our life#olba#olba cove james holden#olba cove holden#olba cove#olba mc#olba cove holden x mc#olba cove x mc#cove x mc#cove holden x mc#our life fake quotes#our life incorrect quotes#ama thoughts#cove#sweet child#why would you terrify me like so#joking aside#i can see him wracking up one hell of an apology once you let him inside#“IM SO SORRY”#“I DIDNT MEAN TO SCARE YOU”#"Cove don't cry#“I forgive you! :D”#“but do that again and ill make you witness the wrath of hell”#“yes ma'am/sir”
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one of the kids i tutor is this very quiet, strait-laced football-and-cars 8th grader, and he's a little out of my wheelhouse because most of my experience is with k5 kids but i've been tutoring this kid for about four weeks and he was so reserved and stiff and quiet our first meeting i think all he ever said was 'yes ma'am' the entire lesson. and i know he's only here because his parents signed him up for writing lessons but i am so desperately scheming to get him to have fun and take interest and feel like its worth his time, like bro we gon get you something out of these lessons and get some of your personality and interests to show. but i have to be tricky about it. i had to think of something fun and cool disguised as something practical and useful because he's not going to want to engage with any of the silly things we use to motivate the younger kids. so at the end of our first day i asked him if he wanted to start developing a signature. and that was the first spark of interest i ever saw out of him, just the smallest crumbs of life in his eyes, so i've started teaching him cursive off-the-books and when we worked on writing his name today he was very moderately enthused but for him that's basically the equivalent of jumping up and down and it makes me SO happy to see my evil plan working
#his teacher has the class working on projects about suspense in writing and film so we were workshopping that today#and he wasn't really able to think of things that achieve suspense beyond dialogue and literal writing#so i brought up other basic things like music and lighting but i wanted him to really *get it* and to get it on his own#so i said 'have you ever seen jurassic park'#and he immediately gasped like ':O the water!' like YES BRO u understand. and that was more emotion than i ever thought i'd see out of you#and he didn't call me ma'am ONCE today. we stay winning
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in your most recent tyson post, you said something about leo being distinctly autistic-coded and I was wondering if you could elaborate on that? it sounds really interesting (sorry if you've already posted something on this, I couldn't find anything though)
Of course! I do have a specific tag for talking about Leo's autistic-coding/traits - [here], and [one for Nico as well].
The main aspects with Leo being autistic-coded actually have a lot to do with Nico being autistic-coded, because it's the comparisons between the two that most clearly indicate Leo is autistic-coded rather than it just being his ADHD or etc.
So with Nico being autistic-coded, it's very clear in the Titan's Curse that he's intended to be autistic. First, the first series has a repeating pattern of secondary characters being very distinctly neurodivergent-coded in different ways (Annabeth's adhd/dyslexia, Tyson's down syndrome-coding, Nico's autism-coding). With Nico's introduction, he's pretty stereotypically autistic and we're given a lot of descriptors about him that are notably not attributed to him being ADHD, like it would be for other demigod characters. He doesn't register social cues such as people getting annoyed at him, he's asking/making inappropriate or impolite questions/comments, he gets particularly upset about change (such as Bianca joining the Hunt) and generally gets emotional, and one of his most notable traits he's introduced with is the fact that he has a special interest (MythoMagic) - and we're shown that this special interest particularly colors how Nico navigates the world. While ADHD has hyperfixations, we don't really get much acknowledgement of hyperfixations with demigods usually - Annabeth gets a little, but most others don't and it's not nearly as focused-in on as Nico's is.
Then as the series continues we see these traits stick with him and him start to show or voice more traits that similarly indicate he's autistic: He regularly mentions how he doesn't understand living people and prefers the company of the dead (social issues). He has more notable stims than other demigods (twisting his ring, fiddling with bones, etc). He's indicated to have strong sensory preferences (usually wearing mostly black/aversion to bright colors, usually wearing layers/his coat, multiple times he's described as wearing loose/baggy clothing or clothes too big for him). He has specific comfort items (his ring, likely his jacket(s) as well). We later get even more information about his special interests (Mythomagic/mythology/history and an older interest in pirates - the latter he specifically notes likely heavily influenced his feelings towards Percy). He struggles with emotions and facial expressions and tone. He struggles particularly with ostracism and feeling like he doesn't fit in and has something distinctly different about him from the people around him (who notably, all have ADHD, which indicates it isn't the ADHD that's making him feel that way), and other characters regularly describe him as being off-putting because of his strange behaviors - again, different from specific ADHD traits they recognize. And that last point is kind of notable because we have Hazel and Bianca for comparison - we know people are off-put by both Nico and Hazel because of being children of Hades/Pluto and their powers/aura, but other characters get past that general feeling of discomfort way faster with Hazel. And even after characters get past the death stuff with Nico, there's a second thing that they aren't moving past that isn't a factor with Hazel (Nico's autism).
So that brings us to Leo - Leo is paralleled to Nico a lot. And there's some very specific traits about him that we know are autistic-coding because of how they're used with Nico: He similarly struggles with social cues/etc, and in a very similar parallel to Nico describes how he prefers the company of machines to people because machines make more sense to him. He has similar types of clothing/sensory preferences (again some stuff with layers but also - pockets! He likes having pockets and things to put stuff in! He's even introduced as having a jacket with lots of pockets), and he has a distinct special interest (machinery) that we specifically know heavily influences how he views and navigates the world (constantly comparing things to machinery, describing things with machinery metaphors/terminology, etc etc). He even describes his entire general worldview to Hazel and it's a machine metaphor. He also similarly struggles with ostracization like Nico does, the only difference being that Leo specifically puts on a persona to compensate for areas he knows he's lacking in and very explicitly describes it as a means to make people like him, because without it he normally struggles to fit in (He's masking!). We also see notes of characters describing that similar discomfort with Leo's behaviors that they do with Nico, except without the aura of death this time. And when we're in Leo's POVs we see a very stark difference between his masking and his actual personality/behaviors such as his internal dialogues or how he behaves when he's alone. Also, like Nico, he stims more than other demigods, though for Leo it's more attributed to his ADHD. Leo also, more often than most, similarly struggles with tone and reading the room, such as making misplaced jokes/comments or etc.
But yeah! It's really interesting. Also it's just a fun thing that ADHD/dyslexia and autism have comorbidity, so it makes sense that we see demigods who are also autistic. It's also really fun to look at how other characters are coded in the series, what coding looks like in the riordanverse specifically (usually it's tied into the mythological stuff - like Chiron being in a wheelchair but he's actually a centaur, Grover being introduced as having a muscular disease but he's actually a satyr, demigods having adhd/dyslexia, Tyson being coded as having down syndrome but he's a cyclops, etc etc - it's a lot of specific metaphor stuff that I've talked about a bit before), and to look at how characters are compared to one another.
#pjo#riordanverse#leo valdez#nico di angelo#autistic nico#autistic leo#autism#analysis#Anonymous#ask#long post //#woof sorry that got long#im very passionate about this topic#re: characters being paralleled#Ms. ''Constantly Neutral - No Emotions'' Reyna looking at Nico stimming in the exact same way she does (twisting ring)#and internally going ''We have a lot in common. I don't know how I feel about that.'' is one of my favorites.#like. reyna. ma'am. you might be autistic. good luck with that.#with the pattern of coding in the first series i do suspect Rachel has some coding as well but i haven't been able to pinpoint what it is#I think it may be the whole seer thing and the fact that she could see the future#even before becoming the oracle/despite being a mortal rather than a demigod (who just get rare prophetic dreams normally)#and in BoTL her entire thing is that she's able to see things that no one else can and that's how they navigate the maze#particularly also with how the labyrinth is treated/how it affects people within it (see: Chris)#and how the only other seer in the first series - May - is characterized and her coding compared to Rachel's#also something something the seer traits become more prominent once Rachel meets Percy#something something metaphor about only being able to recognize neurodivergency traits once you're familiar with them#so Rachel meets Percy = introduction to the community > Rachel recognizes her own traits/symptoms > gets a support system (oracle)
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I just want someone to show me a house and say this is yours now congrats ! instead of making the most indecisive non-opinionated person make a big ass decision
#can you see yourself living here?? ma'am i cannot see myself living anywhere and im working on it yes i see the backsplash and the yard Nice#and i know I can't just make a quick decision bc this is a fucking House but im so stressed and depressed im like....#looking at two more tomrorow before the pens game so maybe i will magically fall in love and can sleep again#one i was in love with went contingent before i could even step inside so!!!!!!#i can see why people buy houses together but im just like yeah my cat won't care
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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just saw 'decentering men' as a youtube video title and almost blacked out and lost it
#niyah.txt#this was not long after seeing the phrase girlhood being used ON DISCORD by a beloved friend#''and that's on girlhood!'' ma'am you are older than me and i'm in my mid 20s#ig decentering men is the latest starbucks feminism term being tossed around#i swear i'm like 2 seconds away from unsubbing from this youtuber too so this just put her on thin ice#i'm so glad i have the tumblr brainrot and not the tiktok brainrot#i swear it's always painfully obvious whenever someone spends too much time on that site
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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i know it's been two weeks since i read the nurses script for my deep dive post but i swear at least ten times a day i stop and stare into space thinking about hot lips, hurt, is trying to control her rage
#like in the pilot the first time hawkeye calls her hot lips and she literally stomps her feet like a child... i just... aughhh#i just want to shake whoever i'm looking at like DO YOU SEE? DO YOU UNDERSTAND??#and they do not. ma'am this is a microsoft teams meeting#mash#mashblogging#margaret houlihan#<- i'm sorry everyone i moved into that tag and i'm not leaving
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Actually I do want to talk about how almost every single line Kurt had in episode 10 (and there weren't many) was explicitly religious and I hate hate hate it. Not only do I find it grating I also think it's lazy writing.
#“give him a rosary”#“make him say a prayer”#ma'am have you ever met a real life catholic#that is like grandma catholic#like if they had a little fun with it I would allow the catholicism#“forgive me father for I have sinned” but it's after seeing wolvering shirtless and the delivery is 100% not penitent#anyways sorry to any catholics I offended#not sorry to GOD#x men 97#x men#nightcrawler#kurt wagner
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you know what ill fucking say it: stardew valley has been sold as a "cozy chill" game but its wrong. its not a chill game; it has a chill atmosphere- but farming is not chill. farming is math and gettin up early and optimizing processes and a lot of planning (which can be fun! but its not chill.) and i am aware you CAN play it chill, that you dont have a time limit or anything- but lets stop lying to ourselves lol. stardew is a farm management game. dont forget that
#gt talks#stardew valley#i always see “oh but stardew is chill”#ma'am. its math#its organization. its timing and planning#its fun! and may be like#chill but not chill you get me#its like a different type of relax#not sure how to describe it
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