#like lmfao why do you hate him so badly why do you keep doing this to him do you want him to leave you or?

[leclerrari]

if i were scuderia ferrari i would simply love back the boy who’s been bleeding my colours since he saw a race car for the first time but maybe that’s just me

[heyaheiya]

hi sweetie, I love your work (◍•ᴗ•◍)

here's my request: pro hero katsuki x influencer quirkless reader. like how started the relationship and maybe some headcanon like hand placement, if there's pda in some events or awards, what he would answer if some1 ask him about his relationship, etc.

I hope you like my request, thank u and have a great day 💗

Omg I love the idea of katsuki with a famous non pro hero partner.

You were surprisingly popular for what you did. Makeup tutorials, reviews, grwms, ootd, vlogs. A part of your popularity was how it seemed you lived the dream life, inspiring teens all across Japan to strive for your aesthetic. (Wonyoungism lmfao).

You officially met Katsuki when you were asked to be the main interviewer on this year's annual Pro Hero Billboard Chart red carpet. When you read the email offering you this once in a lifetime opportunity, you slammed your laptop closed and sped walked laps around your bedroom. You were just a random person who posted silly footage of themselves. But now you were going to be on national TV, being on screen with the most famous faces of Japan. You were shitting yourself.

The company in charge of everything didn't really give you anything to prepare, not terrifying at all!! You spent days researching the heroes, trying to dig deep to find actually interesting things, rather than the repetitive "What made you want to be a hero?". A part of you really wanted to find embarrassing and creepily personal things to entertain the audience, but you quickly found there was a reason why you weren't a detective. 3 days straight, you attempted to stalk the heroes, and nothing. NOTHING!

The event was coming up quickly, and you had absolutely nothing. Your thick stack of cards, all decorated with the iconic design, were blank. You cried for 7 hours.

Eventually, you wrote down some questions, but rereading them, they were the most pathetic excuses for questions ever. You were spiralling. The next day, you were probably going to bomb, have no chemistry with any of the heroes, broadcasting hours upon hours of awkward tension, ruining your reputation and career, destroying the image you had spent years creating for yourself. You cried. A lot.

With a blink of the eye, you were at the red carpet, all dolled up, with less confidence than ever before. Great. The first hero you were stuck with was Deku. You assumed production noticed your panic and decided to throw you a bone.

"So, Deku, if you had to describe your pre-hero days with one word, what would it be?"

"Hmm," he took a second to think, "Bad."

Huh. No, Deku, No!! You were supposed to be the easy one! You cried internally.

"What? A nice, handsome boy like you? I bet you were popular in middle school!"

"I was bullied horrifically."

Damn.

Eventually, you'd managed to get past Deku, Red Riot, Sun Eater, and more. And it was awful. Just one more until your break. Just one more.

Praying to get an easy one, out walks Dynamight. Why do you hate me, God????

He was tall, brooding, and bad with interviews. You were hoping he'd just kill you so you wouldn't have to live with the memory of fucking up infront of the country.

"So- Dynamight. What inspired that name?" Fake it till you make it ig. You grit your teeth in discomfort.

There's a long pause before:

"Dynamite."

"Yeah, what inspired it?"

"Dynamite."

"Dude I just wanna go home, please don't make this harder."

"FUCK! DYNAMIGHT COMES FROM THE ENGLISH WORD DYNAMITE! I JUST CHANGED THE SPELLING OF "MITE" TO "MIGHT" CAUSE ALL MIGHTS FUCKING COOL AS FUCK!"

"Don't yell at me! :("

Dynamight's PR team advised him to keep his answers short and to hold in his anger until he was off screen. You'd assumed he'd been holding in his sass for the past 5 hours, so it was only natural he'd blow up soon. (Like dynamite lol)

As soon as you got home from that shit show, you quickly noticed how your name was trending on twitter.

Welp, time to see how badly I ruined my career. Goodbye fame, it's not like I spent years on you..

You slowly scrolled through your tag, skimming the posts about you. However, the more you read, the more you realised people didn't hate you. In fact, the most popular video of the night was you and Dynamight's interview. And people were.. SHIPPING YOU???

You avoided anything and everything for around a week, not even opening your blinds to let in the light. The only contact you had through those 7 days was your ugly orange cat. That was until you got a knock at your door.

That's weird, I only ordered food 2 minutes ago.

You pulled the door open, saw Katsuki, and slammed it back closed, a tuft of his fluffy blond getting stuck between the door and the frame.

"FUCK ME DEAD!"

"Sorry!!"

You yanked the door back open and looked up at the man. The commotion made your cat, Miso, perk up in fear and scratch at the tall beast of a man.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! First you avoid me like the plague, then you assault the shit out of me!"

"I'm so so sorry (ToT)"

------

Headcanon time 😼😼:

This man has his hands around your waist 24/7.

However, in the privacy of your own homes, he'd be a massive cunt and keep you in a headlock, knowing you can't do anything about it. He'd stop in a second if you asked him to.

At first, he wasn't big on pda. He felt it ruined his tough guy reputation. But his PR team begged him to keep a hand on you at all times, noticing how it kept his hashtag trending. Although he makes a big fuss, he secretly likes showing you off to everyone, and showing how you're all his.

Whenever he's asked about you, he insults the shit out of you.

"Huh, y/n? Never heard of them."

"They're an influencer? Yeah, no I only keep up with actual relevant people."

He means it with love. And he makes sure you know it, smothering you with love when he gets home.

Despite him bullying you about your only real job being promoting brands in your videos, he constantly buys you stuff. You make sure to show them off in your vlogs too.

Hope you enjoyed <33333

[starhrtz]

𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒.

desc. finding cat poop or mice at your front door on a daily basis was starting to annoy you, and it all started because of your new neighbour.

note. i got this idea when my friend said she stepped on cat poop on her way to school LMFAO.

It didn't take you long to figure the culprit of all the cat litter that has been recently showing up at your doorstep, not to mention a bunch of dead mice were near your shoes too! But, why did the culprit's owner have to be so attractive!

CAT_OWNER!KAZUHA who immediately apologises repeatedly but he did noticed how you were stunned, did his cat really messed up this badly that no matter how much he apologised your just keeping quiet and just staring at him? When in fact, you were just stunned by how beautiful he was?! How can such a attractive yet well mannered person have such a mischievous cat?

"im really sorry on behalf of Tomo jr.. I'll go pick the litter right now! How about you rest first in my home while i go pick up the litter? I just cooked lunch for myself but I wouldn't mind sharing it with you... I mean! Just as one of my ways to try and make it up to you!"

CAT_OWNER!SCARAMOUCHE who just sighs and rolls his eyes, it's not the first time his cat did this well at least the cat didn't pee at your front door unlike his old unfortunate neighbour. Scaramouche's cat probably took mercy on you or at least that's what he thinks. All Scara did was slightly apologise but it held a little sincerity unlike his past apologies to stuff like this.

"sorry about him, he's reckless, i'll try my best to keep him in my home so he doesn't disturb your peace but... You're not going to report me right? I'd hate to lose my chance with you.. The rent is quite cheap so I'd hate to lose a place like this."

CAT_OWNER!XIAO who was wondering why his cat wasn't pooping in his litter box or anywhere on his property, he even had to see a vet thinking his cat head pooping problems! When he returned home from work, he caught his own cat in the act of leaving mice on your front door and immediately wrote a letter of apology to you since he... Isn't the best in conversations.

"sorry about the mice on your front door... On behalf of my cat im sincerely sorry, it isn't like my cat to litter or leave mice on someone's door but I hope you'd at least still talk to me i do not wish for any tension between us. Please do knock on my door once you read this. (ps. I already cleared all the mice that was on your door.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 172 spoilers and thoughts that are actually very happy about this episode because we got a lot of good panels i really liked the art for this week and more below the cut

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BEFORE WE BEGIN. I NEED EVERYONE TO SEE. JAVIER BLUSHING AT LLOYD LOOK AT HIM THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE OH MY GOOD GOD ALDKFJLSKJFLSKDJF!??!?!?!?

he's embarrassed at his lord which means he is blushing about lloyd on a technicality which means yes llovier is real. thank you goodnight. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAA

i am so serious when i saw this panel i started yelling and kicking and smacking every solid object with my hands within a two foot radius. jesus christ. jumpscare of the century in the best way possible. i love this panel so much. javier is very cute. and he's blushing bc of lloyd. WAHOO!

anyway lloyd and his dramatic ass,,, my god he's such a loser goofball /aff WAHAHA it's okay lloyd i think you're cool,,, even if no one else agrees,,, obsessed with how his eyes are a diff color and how there's just smoke slipping past his lips HELLOOO

i think given the chance suho could have been a theater kid or smth. i'd believe it.

more of javier being embarrassed by his lord LMFAOOO GOD THEY'RE SO CUTE AND STUPID

we also got more panels and info about credos!!! yay!!! lloyd's reaction to the rock paper scissors reveal was really good LMFAOOO

it seems like,,, jang-cheol!credos really didn't want to die, not at the hands of the protagonist and certainly not at the hands of his own people, so he introduced korean-style rock paper scissors and gave it enough flair so that the demons would believe it's a proper way of dueling,,, it's a clever n smart solution it just comes across as silly to people who know what it really is AHAHAHA

"that too is a teaching of the great credos" LMFAOOO he probably couldn't really figure out how to embellish it that much so just left it as is HAHAHAHAHA AND JAVIERS "?????" LOL

giggled very badly at how tense this panel appears surrounded by chanting of ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! LMFAO

like,,, this is SERIOUS,,, ROCK PAPER SCISSORS TO DECIDE YOUR FATE,,,!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

AND FINALLY THE PANEL WHERE LLOYD THROWS OUT BOTH SCISSORS AFTER STARTLING THE DEMON I REALLY LIKE THE WAY THIS PANEL LOOKS IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. STUPID CLEVER IDIOT. OF COURSE HE'D DO THAT. CHEATING LOSER. THAT'S SMART. GUARANTEED WIN. I HATE YOU /AFF

and everyones reactions HAHAHAHAA i fucking love how scuffed the legends behind this stuff are LOL

it does make me wonder,,, how these legends even come to be?!? who the hell was writing the knight of blood and iron??? lmfao??? like first the one with the lightspeed runner with the centaurs, and now this??? is credos behind this legend specifically, is this part of the bullshitting he had to do to get the demons to believe him? I'M VERY AMUSED AND SUPER CURIOUS LOL

and then lloyd trying to be cool again,,, you were VERY cool lloyd I LOVE THIS PANEL A LOT IT'S VERY VERY COOL!!! i love love love the composition of the art this week it's great!!!

plus javier's reaction HAHAHAHAHAHHA

i actually really liked the episode this week!! the pacing feels a little bit better than the last couple of episodes, i'm not sure if i can properly explain why i feel that way but it definitely feels better to me! but also, i have no idea whether or not this falls in line with the novel context so others may have differing opinions LMFAOOO

i think in general i really liked the art in this episode, the panels really were super awesome this week! and the overall gags were both hilarious and gave more world-building info (in a very indirect way haha) which i really liked. i always love tearing that stuff apart and coming to my own conclusions about Why these characters do what they do, so that made me happy/satisfied hehe

still thinking about that blushing javier panel. jesus that is like a DRUG. i feel my neurons activate every time i see it. CHRIST

i really really hope the next episodes keep up this pace! i like that they spent time to build up the rock paper scissors punchline/explanation, bc it makes it easier to feel like there are things happening. it was harder in the earlier eps for this arc (specifically 169, where we breezed past the eight demon kings - it felt fast bc while the solution was simple, we didn't have build up or time spent with them!) but now we're actively giving time for the punchline / for the action to run its course, which i really like. YAY!

that's all from me this time, i'm very excited to see what they'll do next,,, finally the railroad will be started!!! see y'all then!!!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

I’m like, bombarding you now and I’m sorry- but I have so many thoughts. 👁️👁️

Like for instance- how much would Sorry, Its Locked have changed if Jay and Alex’s roles were swapped? Alex, who stayed relatively sane(at first), though still denied any feelings Jay(he’s straight, its just smex, shut up). And Jay, who gets so angry and hurt and harbors so much resentment for Alex over the whole thing that The Operator latches onto him instead. Jay who spirals and starts killing their friends(and probably Amy too out of sheer jealousy and resentment), who up and vanishes for years and Alex never knows why(was the smex that bad?).

Power bottom Jay who really doesn’t want to kill Alex, he likes him too much(maybe he’s a little obsessed now, just a bit), so every time they run into each other and Alex starts to question him Jay shoves him down onto the nearest surface and keeps him going till he’s so spent he can’t think straight. And this cycle keeps going until both of them hate each other so badly its angry and its hateful on sight(but they still can’t get rid of those feelings god damn it-).

Alex who teams up with Tim or with Brian when he realizes Jay is too far gone? Who finally accepts that maybe he is a little gay when things start happening between them. Jay, who gets so jealous and angry and believes there’s no longer any other way to spare Alex(if he won’t be with Jay then he can’t keep him safe, the only option left is to put him in the ground).

Oh My God

The way i wanna write this so bad now lmfao. It'd take so long but oh my god fucking IMAGINE IT holy shit. im going to go feral over this i fear.

This got really long lmfao

like... 1.8K words long 💀💀💀

Anyway, i love this idea so much so enjoy whatever tf this is under the thingy-ma-bob

Amy still dying but this time its because of Jay's jealously rather than Alex's hopeless final attempt to save her from his own fate is such a fun iea.

Honestly, i feel like Jay's motivations to kill (which have obviously been twisted by the Operator and all that, he wouldn't kill without it twisting him) would be very different to Alex's. At least in Sorry It's Locked. Because in S,IL Alex's motivations are purely to save people, it's just that the operator twisted him until he thinks killing is the only way to save people, he thinks him killing them is going against what it wasn't, when that's still what the Operator wants, as long as more people get exposed to the sickness along the way. Whereas the S,IL version of Jay probably wouldn't kill out of a twisted and misguided kindness, he'd still think he was doing the right thing, but I honestly think the Operator would have an easier time getting him to kill.

to me Alex is an extremely caring and selfless person. Like, sure he's a bit of a nob and his student film was shit and he just couldn't recognise that because he was pretentious and a film student, but like, idk in my head before the Operator got to him he was the sweetest person, hence how he managed to pull Amy lol. The Operator had to convince him that killing was the way to save people in order to get him to do what it wanted. Whereas with Jay i think he'd have a much easier time killing for selfish reasons, and honestly i feel like he'd still film like he does as the protagonist of MH. I think the Operator would convince him he'd been wronged by the people he was killing and that it was righteous revenge or justice for himself or something like that? You know?

He'd think he was doing the right think in the sense of his own sense of justice, rather than doing the right thing to save the other people exposed to the Operator sickness. And because of his hyperfixation on Alex, it'd definitely go in the same direction of him not wanting to kill Alex, because Alex hasn't wronged him, the world around them has wronged him by making Alex think they needed to hide that they were sleeping together. It was the world's homophobia that caused Alex to refuse to accept that he was queer in any way. And obviously if Jay doesn't blame Alex, it'd be really difficult for the Operator to convince him to kill him, because Jay's actions are based on getting the justice that he thinks he deserves.

He kills Seth and Sarah and tries to kill Brian and Tim because he believes that they weren't supportive enough to make Alex feel comfortable to come out or whatever. Right? But With the Operator going down that route to get him to kill, because that's the easiest route to take, it creates a bit of a problem for itself in the future if it wants Jay to kill Alex eventually. But i don't think it actually thinks. As in like, i don't think it is making any conscious decisions about what it does, its like that fungus that grows inside ants and takes over their nervous systems and makes them climb up high so it can spread its spores. I don't think it's a thinking creature, it just does what it does.

Anyway, i think in Alex's place, with justice as his motivation, Jay would kill more people, and i think he'd make an example of them. He'd still film everything because of the memory loss the Operator causes, but he'd use those videos to kind of, like, show off what happens if you're a homophobe. Or if he thinks you are one. Idk if that makes sense. And idk magic operator powers stop anyone thinking the videos are real, just like with the fact that we see Alex kill tunnel guy in the videos, but no one else in universe actually thinks they just witnessed a murder recorded and put on youtube.

I think with Jay in Alex's role, in Sorry It's Locked they'd probably have more than just one encounter where they have sex. Like, for Alex in actual S,IL that happens mostly just kind of impulsively because like, Jay is coming onto him and yeah, he does kind of miss what they used to have, he still felt shit about having to kill Amy so wanted to distract himself from that, and then afterwards he was like SHIT I NEED TO DRIVE HIM AWAY TO TRY AND SAVE HIM WITHOUT KILLING HIM. or something like that. Whereas with Jay in Alex's place I think he'd purposefully try to tempt Alex closer and closer to him, to try and get him on his side, to become like partners in crime. You know? Everything revolves around Alex for him, so of course he wants to keep him close and under his command.

I think Jay would still be the sub in their dynamic in this, but I think he'd be a bit more like he is in chapter two of If It Ain't Broken (which is up by the way, cheeky lil self promo lol). Because subs can be pushy and the one in charge of scenes in every way other than what they actually do within the scenes themselves. Does that make sense lol? Just because they're being submissive within a scene doesn't mean they are submissive in every aspect of their relationships. Y'know?

And I think at first Alex would be like, fine with it, like, he misses what they had, and he misses Amy (he doesn't know Jay killed her, all he saw was the Operator and someone who he couldn't actually make out and then everything goes blank and he wakes up somewhere else distraught knowing she's dead or something like that) so of course if Jay is offering comfort he's going to take it. He'd still be like, not accepting that he's queer himself and that he genuinely likes Jay, like you said. I think Alex wouldn't find out Jay's the 'villain' until quite a bit later than Jay found out that Alex was the 'villain' because Alex wasn't too concerned about hiding what he was doing because he thought he was saving people (except maybe tunnel guy, that seemed like a weird fear response lol)

ANYWAY, in this like, reversed Sorry It's Locked au i think Alex would take longer to find out Jay was the one killing people, because Jay would be more carefuly about hiding that it's him. He'd film all the murders and shit, but i fell like the main mystery would be who is killing, rather than like, who's behind the hoodie mask. (i know that's probably not like the main mystery, but it is to me lol)

Jay doesn't want Alex to be scared of him, and he's aware enough to know that knowing he's killing people would scare Alex off. The only things he really sees the way they are are things directly related to Alex, and he knows Alex will be scared of him/hate him if he finds out Jay's the one who killed Amy.

And (jesus this is long i'm so sorry)

Jay seeing things mostly as they are when it comes to Alex directly would mean that he'd see when things start to change with how Alex treats him when they sleep together. Aka Alex not wanting to do it as much because he's spending time with Tim and/or Brian and they're showing him what it's like to be in a healthy relationship (they let him still say it's just sex and nothing else, because that's how he feels most comfortable/safe/secure in himself, but they still make sure it's a healthy relationship while also trying to help him feel comfortable enough in himself to recognise that he's queer. I guess a bit like how Tim's going to try and help Jay come to terms with his gender identity in like, the actualy version of S,IL i'm writing, yknow?)

Anyway, Alex kinda drawing back from Jay and insisting on asking him questions and getting answers, rather than just letting Jay shove him onto the floor, or pull him in by his collar, or whatever so he can distract him with sex. Alex doing that would terrify him. Because his entire motivation is based around like, 'getting' Alex? Like, he's trying to make it so Alex feels safe to come out? Kinda? I don't know. He want's Alex to himself and Alex pulling away and trying to like, actually get answers rather than them just having sex would be the exact opposite of what he wants?

I think when Jay finds out Alex is in an actual relationship with Tim and/or Brian (whoever he teams up with, maybe both of them honestly) that's when the Operator kinda convinces him to kill Alex as well? Like, he's so angry and jealous and like, almost betrayed? that he goes from trying to have Alex to himself to just wanting to hurt Tim and Brian any way he can? Maybe? i don't know. Like, he wants to take Alex from them any way he can, and if he can't do that in a relationship sense then he'll have to do it physically.

I think first he'd try to like, capture Alex and keep him prisoner maybe? He wouldn't think of it like that, he'd convince himself Tim and Brian were bad for Alex in some way and that he's saving him, but eventually he'd just want to hurt Tim and Brian really fucking badly for 'what they did to Alex' (showed him a healthy relationship and made it so he decided that, no, he doesn't wanna keep doing this with Jay, actually). And that would be how it kinda ended? Like, I think it'd be a kinda murder suicide thing? Maybe? I don't know I'm very much making this up as i go along surprisingly (not surprisingly) lmao

I think Jay would kill Alex in front of Tim and Brian (with a knife, i think his weapon of choice is still a knife, and I think if anyone has a gun it's Brian but he's incredibly hesitant about ever using it), and then he'd turn the knife on himself. It'd be, like, to Jay it'd be that he and Alex would be together in death, and Tim and Brian would be left with only each other and they wouldn't get to have Alex?

does that make sense?

Then Tim and Brian have to navigate life after that, 1. navigate the revelation that it was Jay all along killing people (Jay was the mystery masked man rather than hoodie) and 2. that Jay took Alex from them even after they worked so hard to help Alex come to terms with his sexuality and everything?

maybe?

[mattraeax]

Stitched

Zoro x Reader [1/?]

WC - 1164

Warnings ↔ mentions abuse (work + additional notes), alcohol (work + additional notes), zoro kinda really sucks ass in this, OOC Luffy (? idk he's serious so to me that counts)

Notes ↔ i debated making this third or first pov but I said fuck it and did second bc it irritates my friend so badly AND bc it helps feedback putting yourself in a situation, excuse the shittiness of it im so out of touch w/ writing anything not genuinely disturbing LMFAO; additional notes/vent at the end I REALLY really need some advice 😭

IF YOU SEE THEY/THEIR WHERE YOU/YOUR IS SUPPOSED TO BE NO YOU DON'T 😁

story under "keep reading as to not clog/give you carpal tunnel <3

It was a cool night out in the Alabasta desert and Ace decided to make up games around the campfire to ease tensions about the war. Everyone was sitting around talking and enjoying themselves, occasionally breaking the peace was Ussop yelling at Luffy to "leave the fire to the fire man please" when he started to “cook his food over here so you all won't take it”. 

You were enjoying the chaos, speaking with Nami when they felt a hand on their shoulder. "hey I need to talk to you" Zoro said, practically dragging you behind a pair of boulders some ways away from, the crew. "Why don't you treat me like a priority?" Before you could even look up at the man, he began rapid-firing questions like an interrogation. The two of you had been together for what seemed like forever and he felt you didn't value them. "Why don't you talk to me as much as you talk to Nami or Ace or Ussop? How come you don't ask personal questions about me?" he continued on and on, pouring his heart out. You grabbed Zoro’s hand, leading him to sit on smaller rocks. 

"Zoro are you drunk? What's going on?" you asked, but you already knew. Zoro wasn’t a man of face to face confrontation if it didn’t involve violence unless he was at least buzzed. He knew you were concerned and somewhat appreciated it, but he was upset. He continued to stare, waiting for a response. You looked him in the eyes and squeezed his hands gently. "Zoro. My love, I am sincerely sorry I treat you the way I do to where you don't feel like a priority in my life. As you know I’m sick and am almost always asleep or on the verge of it, and barely have the energy to get out of bed, let alone come to find and spend time with you but that’s no excuse. You are truly the most important person in my life and I'm sorry I'm not making you feel as special to me as I know you are.” You sighed, leaning their elbows on their knees, and spoke as softly as possible to avoid further emotional strain. “I don't ask you questions because you tell me everything before I can even think of what to ask. I told you how I feel about you drinking so much. I know you have a lot going on in your head but I’d rather you just talk to me. I hate it when you drink so much Zoro." 

He squinted, seemingly trying to make sense of your words. “Y/N I get you're tired all the time but that's no excuse. I always still find time for you when I'm busy and I can't figure out why you won't do the same. I’m not saying all of this to make you feel bad but it's been for months now. I feel like I'm a side piece to you. I don't feel like this relationship is working, sometimes it feels like its all one sided because we barely interact. The way you treat me makes me feel abused by you. Emotionally physically and mentally I am being abused by you and your actions I feel like you just don't care.” Zoro continued on and on, repeating everything in different ways. You, however, were stunned. The love of your life has lost his mind. You blinked once, twice, and stood up. “Zoro. Im going to bed. Please keep your distance from me I need to think some things over.” At the mention of space, he stood up and raised his voice just enough to draw the crew's attention. “You will stay here while we finish our conversation Y/N L/N.” 

You turned around in shock at being shouted at, trying to calm yourself before making this any more painful. “Roronoa Zoro, it’s not much of a conversation when all you do is drone on and interrupt me when I answer whatever question you've asked for the nth time in a row. I hate when you don't listen yet demand I change my actions. It’s not my fault you choose to ignore me when I try to speak to you or go to bed not 10 minutes into our alone time everytime. I tell you every time when I don’t feel well enough to hold a regular conversation or when I’m exhausted beyond belief but you’re so dense you think I’m lying. You can’t figure out why I don’t communicate before you only think of yourself Zoro! You do not dictate what I do or when I speak with you. Leave me alone for now Zoro.” Everyone could have sworn the desert had never been quieter. Y/N was high on adrenaline, remembering why you loathe alcohol. In a heartbeat, Zoro was in their face, bent down at eye level. “You need to do better Y/N. I lov- well maybe not that word, that's too strong but I do like you a lot. I want to make this work with you. Get it together.” he gritted through his teeth. That was your last straw. Eerily calm, you backed up, muttered a very soft “okay” and walked back to the temporary base. Everyone looked extremely uncomfortable and sympathetic for them, as they had nosely listened to  overheard everything. You picked up your sleeping bag and a spare piece of wood, walking up to Ace. “Hey I'm sorry to bother you but can you light this? Don't wanna ruin your lovely blaze here.” you weakly chuckled, gesturing to the fire.

 He nodded, trying to make eye contact but failing as they looked away quickly. As they walked away from the group, Luffy approached them, slightly startling you. “Sorry didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay? Do you need anything?” he asked rather seriously, a rare but much-appreciated sight for them. You turned to your captain and the crew. “Please keep your swordsman away from me for a while. I may actually end up killing him if he’s anywhere around me.” Your tone set everyone on edge. Seeing everyone nod and affirm the favor, you slouched, finally relieved to be away from him. Between the flashbacks and the headrush of shouting, you finally felt safe. You felt your body grow weak and hit the sand. Luffy reached out to you but he was waved off. “I’m alright Luffy. Goodnight everyone, I'll be 56 paces this way when yall are ready to get going in the morning.” pointing over your shoulder, diagonal to where your “conversation” with Zoro took place for as much distance as possible. As you walked and set up for the night you couldn’t help but cry, remembering that any and every time alcohol was involved it was a disappointment. You wondered if you were the catalyst for everyone’s drinking habits as you finally got to sleep, absolutely dreading the morning.

↪

BASED ON A TRUE STORY (◎﹏◎) oh my god my partner (idek what to call him now I ain't spoke to him in bout a week n a half dog) called me drunk and called me all types of manipulative n abusive for not communicating enough (im chronically ill and the heat is NOT helping, he knows this) and called our relationship a situationship so that's always wonderful to hear. every line from zoro is either exactly or summed up what this mf said to me and oh my god I really just don't know what to do, I'm not sure if i wanna make it work or not

close friend said its manipulative as fuck n i need to get out bc every fight we've been in has been bc he forgot I said/told him something and he flipped it to me not communicating, I can see it but FUCK why is leaving so hard

[rigginsstreet]

misc. tag game

tagged by @blood-mocha-latte

a band you don’t like that many others do:

maneskin... tried a couple songs, wanted to like them.... cant do it

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

this costume contest i refused to enter because my costume was boring and i knew i was gonna lose by the adults were like "no just join come on itll be fun" and i was like... already consumed by the darkness at that point lmfao and i sat watching everyone crying. fun! lmfao

least favorite animal and why:

i hate a snake. i respect their role in the ecosystem but dont you ever put one near me. dont put one within 5 miles of me. no. i dont trust anything that slithers bitch aint got no legs! i dont like that. and the striking? dont like that either. i have to stop talking about them now im genuinely uncomfortable

hot fandom take:

steve harrington is not a good character. he is badly written. yall only like him cuz you think joe is hot. thats literally it. the man has literally zero positive qualities. apply this to every other loved st character as well theyre all bad the show sucks i hope everyone dies

do you were any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a friendship bracelet and a rope bracelet i got on a cruise (i forgot what theyre called. sailor bracelets or something?) and thats about the extent of my jewelry wearing

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i don't think i've ever cognitively watched a movie and thought that i loved it or hated it. i'm usually just like Well That Sure Was A Movie. <- im keeping prevs because thats what wildest thing ive ever read in my life i need to study you lmfao as for my answer, insidious movies are bad. youre next is bad. many movies this website loves i havent even seen but i know they are bad thats why i havent watched them.

three things you love about yourself:

my hair is getting real cute lately. i am a huge bitch. i stare at my butt a lot i think its fun

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

italyyyy i want to trace my roots

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

idk if theres actors i have beef with for their personality lmao several i dont like because they are overhyped and im sick of seeing them. ariana grande she counts as an actress i cant stand her lmfao the vibes are rancid also stop dating married (taken) men its gross its weird

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

for my dog to finally be healed from her surgery cuz god its a lot of working making sure she dont pop her stitches

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

if stancy is endgame im setting fires to buildings i want you all to know this. also fuck a steddie and a ronance but that goes without saying

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

stranger things. riverdales a close second but stranger things... you are all genuinely mentally unwell i would like to speak to your therapists and tell them shit aint working

list three things you find beautiful about life:

the ocean my best friend the ocean. animals just be out here looking for pets... brings a tear to my eye. im really struggling for a third life is bad lmfao my best friend? thats it.

any dreams for the future?

i try not to think about the future it gives me panic attacks

how are you really feeling today?

sleepy

tagging (no pressure): @panickedpenguin @avalonlights @ihaveacorgi @imsodishy

[killiancormac]

🚗 🔺💘🍝 🤒 for monroe and avery c:

For Monroe:

🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

monroe got his license as soon as he could, when he was around 17, with encouragement and help from his older brother. his first car was something really dinky and kind of shitty, but it was cheap and it was his, and he loved it. it was unfortunately a causality of RC. I can honestly see him being forklift certified LMAO mainly because I think its funny but also he's had a LOT of jobs over the years

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

he's had basic firearm training thanks to chris, after they reunited post RC incident, and he's also taken himself to the gun range a good few times, to keep himself sharp, just incase. he's not awful with a gun, but he hates using them. when RC happened, his main weapon of choice was a pipe, which thankfully, didn't require much training to use.

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

it's taken him a long time to realise this, but the most important thing to him is the life he has now. the freedom and relative safety and happiness. recently, he's felt like he's taken his life for granted, so he's been trying to be more grateful for all he has now that he thought he never would have. the most important person to him in the world is Merel, without a doubt. he would do anything for her, and he would go through it all again in the blink of an eye.

🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

he likes fast food. its his kryptonite. it's mostly habit — he's spent a lot of time depressed and not taking the best care of himself, and fast food is the easiest way to keep himself fed. the thing is, he's a pretty decent cook and an even better baker, but he doesn't often have the energy to make big, homemade meals.

🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?

no more than the regular person, I wouldn't say. I imagine being an avid drinker for 20 years hasn't been great for his health, but thankfully, he's not prone to bouts of sickness.

For Avery:

🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

they don't officially have a license, given they're not a 'real' person, but they can drive. it's been ages since i played book 2 as them, but i think they have a motorbike too?? i need to brush up

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

yes, multiple. guns and knives is what they were trained with at the farm, and what they used the most often when on missions for them. funnily enough, their aim with guns is not great, which is why they relied so much on their telepathy to read surface thoughts and intentions in hand to hand combat while as sidestep. their new suit (if you count it as one) is without a doubt their favorite weapon they've ever used.

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

their life and freedom. free will. body autonomy. everything the farm deprived them of. Julia is the most important person in the world to them, but dont tell her that.

🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

they have SUCH a sweet tooth.... sweet vice steps rise up!! they love a good doughnut more than anything else.

🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?

Avery has a really strong immune system. they've only gotten ill less than a handful of times in their life. they cope with being sick really badly though lmfao they hate it

[bisluthq]

Taylor has been 100x shadier when it comes to her exes as well as their ex partners. She released All of The Girls ffs. Kayla ain’t doing that. Idk why Swifties are acting so precious about what she does because by all accounts Taylor is much pettier. It’s like how Swifties are ready to revolt if Joe cheated on her meanwhile she’s said she’s cheated before and probably emotionally cheated on Joe.

Kayla legit isn't doing anything wrong.

I TOTALLY get it if you don't like her aesthetic or brand. That's just a matter of personal taste and no that would not be racist or misogynistic like that's just you liking what you like. Like I say, my fave influencer is Tally Rye and like if u tell me Tally annoys the shit out of you I'm not gonna go mount a defence because idk all influencers are a little annoying by definition and we just vibe with the ones that resonate. But like going "I don't like her aesthetic/brand" is one thing; going "I don't like her because she dated Taylor's boyfriend before Taylor did" is weird as shit lmfao.

Taylor shouldn't even be saying that because there is no evidence Kayla was like primarily at fault in the breakup/s. I've told y'all like I dislike my partner's ex-wife (who I've not met but might at some point because for the kids here who think otherwise you do bump into people y'all knew even if you're no longer in touch) because she hurt him super badly and was generally a crazy ass cunt and I'm the one now having to clean up some of her messes right because there are a number of hangups he has that are totally, 100% on her. The woman is a crazy ass cunt lol. HOWEVER, she is LITERALLY the only one of my bf's exes I dislike or have an opinion on beyond a few where they're nice and I like them (his first gf ever and him are still friends and she's in a tricky situation marriage wise right now and like we keep inviting her to come stay with us and we talk to her on speaker often and the two of them talk privately between that because like she's super lovely and I'm not going to be weird about him talking to someone he dated when he was 17-19 lol because like that was a long time ago???? And the girl is still nice!????)

My bf's most recent ex before me is someone I am very frostily neutral to but I think I told y'all the story as to why like when we moved in together he went off one morning about how I don't like tidy shit up and so I went to tidy shit up and I found a two page love letter from her from after the breakup like asking to get back together and I'm me right so I read the whole thing and 1) she's a shit writer lol 2) sorry for her that it didn't work like idk I guess as woman to woman I wish she'd managed to make it work since she seemed pretty upset in the letter 3) she left him - I mean they didn't live together or anything but they dated for like over a year - for her ex lol like that one's on her tho to then go writing letters is psychotic 4) I've asked him if like it'd make me feel better if I met with her like if we should yk reach out and invite her to stuff since it didn't end badly and he was like "no you're gonna hate the shit out of her and I don't want you to because I know how you're gonna make fun of her, and you will, but that's going to be making fun of me too and so you're better off in this current zone of neutrality" and I was like "fair enough king, I tried" (we have another ex he's still friends with - letter girl we hardly see around - he also doesn't want me to meet in person because apparently like her sociopolitical views are the kinds of shit I make fun of like a lot - like that ultra woke identity politics shit coupled with super centrist to right leaning fiscal policies and like lmfao yes I would make fun of that because that neoliberal shit makes no sense) but anyway: I don't dislike the clearly overly online woman lol and he can talk to her as much as he wants lmfao and I don't dislike letter girl like I don't want to read more letters from her but other than that she can do her thing.

So my point is if Taylor has no reason to be mad at Kayla why the fuck are fans mad?

[runelocked]

“ why are you acting like this? ” ( from vanessa for any iteration tbh idk anymore lmfao )

THE CREATURE IS NOT A CREATURE IS NOT A CREATURE IS NOT WHOLE. It staggers — GLITCHES — once, twice, and regains its (his ?) balance by the door, breathing harsh. The body is not the body is not unbroken. The creature is not a creature is not whole and it hurts like a motherfucker.

But their plans succeeded. That’s all he can think of, clawing to life and lucidity for a second. The copy of himself had successfully corrupted the girl, used her to get himself back into his body — the glitch, the girl, the ghoulish wreck of a body that had been his (though repaired through remnant, it would never be the same). So what is going on? Why is the glitch still infecting him now, why is it fighting to break through and cast him away?

( Because you are not me, the glitch hisses, poisonous. William can feel its broad, unblinking gaze piercing into his back despite the fact it lacks form. To Vanessa’s eyes, his body simply twitches again. You lack the spirit.)

(The body is not unbroken and the creature is not whole and William Afton is not himself. Cannot live up to the malhare. Too much twists him frightened, flighty. How pathetic! How poor form.)

And it is all too easy to turn on Vanny, his only loyal follower, the one who saved him, the one who ruined him. Its eyes are hollow purple when it snaps: “What did you expect? That you would put me back together and that would be it? You’re better than that. You’re cleverer than that.”

Another twitch. This time, the outline of the MALHARE is visible around his own frame: grinning at her with those large teeth. William hates it. He hates William. What the hell are they?

“Did you really think I would want anything to do with that thing’s plans?” Talking, of course, about the copy of itself. The glitchtrap. William scoffs at Vanessa, tries not to feel himself infected with the rabbit’s infatuation for the woman. It’s hard. Near impossible. “It was not the real me. It was a tool. I am not the thing you know.” So easy to sound mocking; he tries to quell himself, because he needs her. He is still so weak — can barely keep himself standing for long. Instead, he lowers his voice, doing his best not to snap or shout. “You knew what our goal was. It was never to let the glitch live forever. It was errant code. I—” William Afton, alive again, living and breathing and out of that hellscape the children had thrown him into, “—am the one you desired so badly. You just didn’t realise it.”

[paintingformike]

i think a big reason why there’s always this back and forth debate on which is the better relationship between byler and mileven is because the arguments are always based on who mike treats better, who he cares more about and how el or will benefits from their relationship with mike. like it’s always just about who mike was more dedicated to and the arguments never end because mike has had instances where he has treated both el and will badly and people make use of those moments to prove their point. but all of these points are just one side of the relationship, and people rarely ever stop to think and consider that...what about the love and support mike receives in either relationship? what about the person mike feels the most comfortable with? instead of just considering how mike makes the both of them feel, what about how will makes mike feel vs how el makes mike feel? this is what i always try to emphasize in my analyses because i don’t see enough people actually talk about this factor and people don’t realize how much it actually supports byler endgame more so than they think. i do see more bylers on tumblr that talk about how much mike receives more love and support from will than el but barely any bylers on twt, people there are always fighting over who mike cares more about (because they’re also either just bylers who only care about will’s happiness and hate on mike or mlevens that mostly gravitate to el and don’t care about mike’s development as much as they claim to lmfao) and they just keep going in circles that it’s sad and pathetic to watch tbvh...

because evidently if we look at the show and actually think about it in this context, then it’s obvious who he’s meant to end up with, it’s literally a no brainer. we get little to no moments of mike receiving emotional support and comfort from el but we get a whole season’s worth of will making mike feel loved, heard and important. mike has expressed that he feels insecure and unneeded with el, but will made him feel like he isn’t just some random loser, that people look to him for guidance and inspiration and that he acts as a leader and protector. this is why i get so annoyed when the only takeaway people have from their storyline in s4 is that will was “used” purely to give mike relationship advice, because you missed the whole point. s4 was literally them showing how much will had all the love and support mike needed and wanted in a relationship, and that he was the one person who made mike feel better about himself, not el. he was able to get to mike and understood him in ways el was never able to. also, let’s face it...there’s countless shows where the person who seemingly harbors unrequited feelings for the other, actually ends up getting rewarded and has their feelings reciprocated precisely because of how much they selflessly tried to push the person they love to someone else.

tbh i can tell that this bitterness from self proclaimed bylers who only care about will’s happiness while simultaneously hating on mike, are a lot less confident in byler endgame because...they only ever consider will’s feelings in the equation but not mike’s lmfao. like if you want to understand why byler endgame is literally inevitable you HAVE to care about mike’s arc and which relationship makes him feel happier and loved too, you can’t just ignore his feelings because he’s one half of the relationship and you have to acknowledge how they’ve also been setting up the right person for him, the one who understands him better than anyone else, and not just the right person for will, if you actually had mike’s sake in mind then you’d undoubtly see this while watching byler scenes. as much as they did contrast who mike handled his issues with better and how he made both el and will feel about themselves, they also highlighted who was able to make mike feel better and who supports his character more, and with this perspective in mind the outcome of this love triangle is a lot clearer and evident.

[jinkicake]

Currently T-minus 6 days until scaramouche birthday and the worst day of my life😔like he’s been outside my bedroom door for the last few nights. Like ik that this mf has the nastiest sex EVER like the fanart community out?? They released him on purpose this close to Christmas(btw felt like another Tuesday like lmao how boring I bought albedo cat stickers to feel something) like I’m trying to be toxic w him but not really; the couple that’s always play arguing and making fun of other people. He can’t even get anyone pregnant but in albedo fashion he will fuck like he’s trying for a kid!! Clears his whole schedule (fatui scaramouche ig)so he can do nothing but pump you full of his cum, like he’s very messy I feel like the sheets are always ruined so you gotta keep a spare on the nightstand or something. Like he’s always trying to fuck in público places like he gets jealous very easily and he can do the whole lmao this ass is mine. But if he sees some loser ass fatui grunt still trying after he’s made is week he’ll he will literally call him into his office to reprimand him and like while he tries to explain himself he hears you choke bc he pushes your head all the way down without warning and he pays your head saying some shit like “don’t be rude I’m having a meeting” like he’s gunna absolutely dominante you and the poor bastard will have to watch like he can’t hear you slurping down there😔😔 “ their mouth feels really good, that why you been harassing them instead of doing your job?” Probably makes you cockwarm him but it’s fake bc when you beg he says you can ride him immediately.(as I will like lmao i am slamming down on him) but he’s just looking him dead in the eyes with the most bored glare. Slips his hand down in between your legs like he’s scrolling on his phone or something 😭 “hurry up and cum already you’re ruining my pants.” Or “you can’t to be good and cum on my cock?go head” and holds you tight as your eyes roll back and that grunt much less any other one talks to you again. Likes cute outfits!! Like he’s gunna buy you expensive intricate lingerie JUST to tear it off you. Will sit you on his face until you hit his head to try and get away. He’s such a Fucking menace😒 I feel like he would tie you up and leave wanting

omg only five days until the birthday bash of the year?! we're starting off strong! you guys are going to do a joint thing right looool

scara is really hoyo's new 'it boy' and as of right now, i dont hate it kekeke

omggg lemme see the stickerssss i want xiao stickers so badly hehe i might order some

bruh i just had a thought about clay man like he cant get you pregnant either but hear me out w albedo's big brain he would figure out a way to get you pregnant LMFAO like you gonna have some clay babies or something.... if he really wants it... (yandere!albedo impregnating you w/o you knowing oof- crazy!) but yeah no kid for scara (thank gawd!)

NO bc scaramouche is such a pathetic loser because he would so try to make a claim on you in public after another fatui agent glances at you.... like hed take any excuse to fuck you smh

honestly, i like pathetic!scaramouche (what does that say about me?!) like mean but pathetic scaramouche who has no problem yelling at you but then cries when you leave him LMAO

he pretends like he doesnt give a fuck while pleasuring you but in reality he's so deep in his mind making sure that he's doing everything right LOL like im sorry but i cant have scara not interested like he needs to be obsessed or i wont care about him-

oh he's so the type to put you in pretty panties, have you sit on his face and then just lock his arms around your thighs and then eat you out until you pass out- hes evil!

and he would so tie you up to the bed and leave you there as a punishment, to embarrass you even further he might leave the bedroom door open just a bit so that anyone who passes by (childe, signora) can get a glance

((side note: i hope you have a happy new year my dear!!! </3 and some good albedo dreams~))

[elysianslove]

hi !! i am in love w ur writing omg <33 can i req hcs of miya twins && suna w a crush who is in the girls ( or manager of the boys team if u only do gn!reader hcs ) vball team of inarizaki and they share the same bus or sumn when theyre traveling to another school ? thank u <3

hi hi hi!!! thank you so much <333 and i write fem!reader, hehe, so i made her part of the girls vbc! i hope you like these <3

miya atsumu 

i firmly believe none of the hq boys would be picky about the girl they’re dating. like yeah they all say certain traits they want but when it really comes down to it and they are dating you, they won’t be upset if you don’t fit certain previous criteria of theirs 

that being said, tsumu would absolutely lose his shit if his girlfriend also happened to be a volleyball player like he’d be convinced it’s fate or something

like he wouldn’t crush on you because of volleyball, he just thought you were a really pretty girl he’d constantly see in the halls and stuff 

and listen! he really was planning on asking you out

except asking a girl out has never been so nerve-wracking. like he’s never, ever felt this nervous about it?? and he’d keep chickening out every time he saw you

fast forward to you guys having to travel to another prefecture for a game, and it just so happens that the boys’ basketball team also had a game out of town. between the teachers and coaches, they decided since both the boys and the girls’ volleyball teams were going to the same prefecture, you’d just take the bus and make due 

the bus isn’t small, but y’all are a lot, so it’s a bit of a mess when you’re climbing on 

somehow, someway, you find yourself sitting next to miya atsumu 

pls he will never stop talking about how you two were meant to be after omg 

imagine his shock when he looks up from his phone and he sees you sitting next to him his brain literally goes ???!!@#$#&^$#&%(&

you just smile at him sweetly and say, “i hope it’s okay that i sat here. there’s not really anywhere else.” 

he can’t really speak. no like he really can’t. he’s. starstruck? just completely gone. you’re just so pretty and now he gets to sit next to you for the entire ride? he’s thanking everything holy

samu smacks him on the head because he still hasn’t replied to you and you’re starting to look a little saddened 

“uh, yeah, yeah, s’fine, yeah.” i’m telling y’all he’s secretly a complete dork. 

at first he doesn’t really know what to say, he just knows that he really wants to talk to you, like badly, and finally his brain catches up to him and he asks you about volleyball. you two spend nearly the entire ride talking about the sport

his heart would not stop beating insanely fast the entire time 

so y’all arrive, and you’re about to head off to the girls’ gymnasium when he stops you. you’re kind confused but you don’t stop him bc !!! hello !!! attractive !!! and kind !!! and interesting !!!

and omg you don’t think you’ve ever seen miya atsumu flustered before, and apparently neither has his brother or his friends because they’re in the back just snickering to each other

and finally, he manages to ask, “do you like, wanna hang out? soon? tomorrow?” 

it makes you giggle how red his cheeks are 

the relief that floods him when you say yes is unbelievable 

he wishes you good luck with your game with a kiss on the cheek that shocks everyone because what a contrast to the person he was literally a minute ago 

just v briefly: y’all are THE couple. you know what i’m talking about right? imagine just him being at your games and cheering you on the loudest, kissing you fully on the mouth after disregarding any rules in place, or the opposite, of you cheering him on his games and just jumping at him even though he’s really sweaty and hugging him so tight with your legs wrapped around his waist

no please don’t think about going to the gym with tsumu, where he makes you cling onto shirtless him as he’s doing pull ups and you kiss him every time he lowers himself, or practicing volleyball with tsumu, where he’ll serve a ball onto your ass and have you chase him around the gymnasium until he lets you jump onto him and you both fall on the ground

and no! don’t you dare consider practicing serves with him and it being a competition until you’re both so spent and breathlessly lying on the cold ground next to each other or how proud he is every time he sees you finally achieve something you’ve been trying really hard to perfect —

good bye 🏃🏻‍♀️

miya osamu

okay different from atsumu, osamu knew you were a volleyball player, and he realized he had a crush on after watching you play once 

your gymnasium, the girls’, was up for inspection but you had a game against another school so you’d borrowed the boys’. the whole boys team decided to stay and watch and holy shit was he impressed. your team won by a landslide, and it was clear the rest of his team was also impressed by the way they were all speaking about you

after that, you kinda stood out to him more? like, before he wouldn’t really notice you, but now anytime you were around or he heard your name or you were mentioned or he heard your voice he would kind of perk up and his heart would beat a little fast 

he was like fuck 😃🔪

you didn’t really share classes with him so it wasn’t too difficult to avoid you until his little crush had wavered 

yeah until god himself seated you right across from him on the bus while both your teams were on their way to a different school. it’s not that there wasn’t a bus, the coaches were just lazy and decided to combine you both since you were headed the same way anyways 

the entire time he wouldn’t stop staring at you while you chatted with your friends and with some of the boys from his team. you just seemed so. magical. he hated it. why were you so perfect

atsumu was asleep for half the ride so he only made fun of him for the other half. it was v humiliating. 0/10

he thought he had been soooo slick lmfao 😹

he was not

samu’s generally a slick guy but. not right now he wasn’t. not with his crush he isn’t

so when everyone steps off the bus and he’s like stretching out his limbs from being seated for really long, he feels someone tap on his shoulder, so he spins around and sees you and honest to god his blood runs cold

you had a really sheepish smile on your face like you were ready to embarrass him and when you said, “hey i noticed you staring,” on god he wanted to die.

but then you noticed his pale face and quickly went, “no, no, i think it’s very flattering! and i’m hoping it means i get to take you out?” 

cue tsumu’s cheering in the back he is so obnoxious bhjdbcdbjc

samu’s mouth is moving but his brain isn’t really working he just likes to thank god that he said yes and didn’t say anything else 

this time, you wish him luck with a kiss on the cheek and he really hates how his entire body is just heating up right now so on the outside it looks like he’s not enjoying this in the least, but trust, his heart says others

that was the most nervous you’ve ever been but he doesn’t need to know that 

on the bus ride back he invites you to sit next to him in the back, and you’re both a little shy about it all but you make conversation and somehow it ends up with him telling you he loves to cook, which leads to the promise that he’ll cook for you one day

it’s a very sweet conversation where you’re both really excited but you’re also a little nervous about it all

again, briefly: if we’re going with you being a wing spiker like him, then training with samu is so fun. he loves to toss the balls up higher and higher knowing you can’t reach them, until one day you shock him and the ball goes smack on the other side of the court and damn he just fell in love all over again.

tsumu practices with you two sometimes and nine times out of ten he’ll make samu think he’s tossing to him then toss to you instead. 

you’d think he’d be quiet and calm while he watches you play? absolutely not he is the loudest. it’s okay you luv him <3

omgomgomg meeting up with samu after both your after school practices are over and you just walking home alone in the quiet and you’re both munching on some snacks and it’s so serene and your hand is in his and you’re swinging your arms playfully and it’s just so

sigh 

remember that promise he made to cook for you? every weekend without fail, since he usually wakes up before you, he makes you breakfast, leaves his home, and wakes you up with a little box of your favorites. the tradition never falters. every weekend you wake up to his beaming face with a steaming box of breakfast. husband material 

suna rinatarō

with suna, you two briefly knew each other

you shared class with him, and sat quite near him so you were like sort of acquainted with each other. i feel like suna’s not too big on speaking with strangers not because he’s introverted but because he just doesn’t wanna waste his time

he does speak to you from time to time though, mainly just to ask about class or homework or exams 

he didn’t know you were on the girl’s volleyball team though, so when you walked onto the bus, and he spotted you, he was really confused. when you spotted him back and waved at him with a bright smile his brain went uh oh

and then you walked closer to where he sat and his brain went UH OH

and then you asked to sit next to him because you’re all the girls are scattered everywhere and aside from them he’s the only one you know here so he just shrugs and goes yeah sure 

his brain is going uhohuhohuhoh repeatedly though he’s just exceptionally good at not showing it 

you don’t really talk as everyone settles down, each of you is busy looking down at your phones, but when the bus starts moving, suna takes out his headphones and 

he offers one to you 

vdhjsdshfkwhhesajkdhksf

ok im good 

you’re a little taken aback but you accept. the entire ride you two don’t talk, you just listen to music together, and occasionally he hands you his phone to choose a song, and somehow, in the middle of all this, your head fell on his shoulder and his head rested on yours and it was really comfortable and good god does he have a crush on you

when you take out your phone and open instagram/snapchat and start messing with the filters, taking snaps of him and making faces with him, and he gets to hear and feel your little laughs he realizes yeah, maybe he does have a tiny crush on you 

tiny 

minuscule

you skip away from him after stepping off the bus with a yell of good luck. he makes time after his game to go watch yours and he is thoroughly impressed by your skill. decides maybe it is not as minuscule as he thought.

the boys are on the bus before the girls, so when you walk in, he waves you over and points at his headphones, which makes you laugh a little and rush over to him. this time, he doesn’t wait for the bus to start moving before he hands you one earbud, and just like before, your head rests on his shoulder throughout 

middle of the ride, he opens the notes app, and types, ‘you’re really cute,’ while showing you the screen 

you take the phone from him and type back, ‘you’re really pretty.’ 

and then a conversation carries like this until he just straight up goes, ‘wanna go out with me?’ 

this time, you don’t take the phone from him. instead, you sit up a little, press a kiss to his cheek and whisper, “yes.” 

it only shocked him a little a lot

as soon as you’d said that, he relaxes a bit, and as you’re going to rest your head on his shoulder, he brings an arm around you, hugging you closer to him i am going to Scream

briefly: please, imagine just how encouraging it is for suna to see you in the stands at any of his games like it just gives him that necessary boost  and whenever he wins he just cups your face and kisses you so passionately yet serenely and there’s that small smile hidden in the kiss only you can feel and tell of

or just imagine you and suna relaxing after a long day of practice in a bath together or you completely drained snuggled in bed as you lazily and sleepily pillow talk 

or oh my god, suna coming before a game and helping you do your hair in a braid or anything that will keep it out of your face because he has a little sister and he’s just so good at it and all the girls are fawning over how he’s sitting on the bench with you kneeling between his legs and he’s just working diligently at your hair and once he’s done he just gives your head a little pat before leaning over and kissing your cheek like “all done babe good luck” 

or suna watching smugly as you absolutely destroy your opponents or if you ever play with the boys how you never go easy on them and he just 

heart eyes <3

end note; im sobbing im this 🤏🏼 close to losing my mind why are they not REAL 

[venussaidso]

'Why this line is embarrassing' — rant by a Nat stan.

And after she died for this supposed family, they never once gave the same energy back. Or did I miss something?

No one ever really cared about Natasha Romanoff but she cared about everybody else. Because she's the mommy of the Avengers, apparently. She keeps the team together but gets nothing in return. No one risks anything for her, or does her any favours. Am I, a dedicated loyal Nat stan, supposed to think that's her family?

She risked being a fugitive for Steve and he's never done anything for her in return. She even helped him retrieve Bucky's file in CA:TWS for him and even adopted Wanda who mind-raped her when she has a history of her mind getting messed with. We never saw her connection with Thor so its safe to say there is none. Hulk ditched her to go to space lmfao. Yall really think he cares about her? Wanda threw her in the corner of a container when she was fighting with her best friend, saying to Clint, "You were pulling your punches." Clearly she doesn't like her but Natasha tried to save her ass in Infinity War. They really expect me to believe that's her family? Look Wanda is a sadist, but she really wanted Clint to beat that ass more huh? Ain't she her sister figure?? Wait, I'm sorry, those are the headcanons of the delusional fans right. Thinking the Avengers are Black Widow's family.

And she's supposed to be the 'mom' of the Avengers?? Nat is a very independent, dangerous assassin with a lot of complexities and is not your conventional hero. Yall softening her to a degree of her becoming a mommy when no one returns that energy to her is kind of stomping on her character. Because she is more than a sweet doormat.

And she clearly does not have the basic concept of 'family', with all that trauma she's gone through in her younger years. She does not understand how a real family would treat her. She doesn't understand what real loyalty is coming from others – aside from Clint. Instead she has so much love to give that she doesn't understand that, no sweetie, these people are not your family.

She's always trying to pull the team back together when everybody else has their own shit going (reference; CA:CW). Sacrificed herself for the world and her 'family' who never once brought up her death again after.

That is why I hate that line SO MUCH.

"I uSeD tO hAvE nOtHiNg, ThEn i GoT tHiS fAmiLy."

No baby, you still have nothing.

Clint Barton is and was always her only true fam. I can say this confidently. Everybody else can screw off.

I was never a Marvel stan, more like a Natasha Romanoff stan. So whichever character doesn't care about her, I genuinely don't care about them back. And from what I've seen, they really do not give a shit about her. But I'm not trying to sound petty. I just automatically care about whoever takes care of my comfort character, by default.

But yea that line will forever be embarrassing. And Natasha's character was always written pretty badly, like the writers never knew what to do with her so they just made her a mommy character.

(note: I keep saying 'mommy' because I know there is a word to describe the self-sacrificing female type character in which no one around them gives a shit about because she's not written well but I don't remember it! It's not 'mammy' though, that's for another topic)

[hermannsthumb]

Okay but what about Hermann is just horny 24/7, but he's repressing his feelings. And Newt who sees it and maybe is enjoying a bit. And one day Newt just pins Hermann to a lab wall, ties his arms with a belt or sleeves of his shirt and teases Hermann until he melts in his hands. And Newt murmurs to Hermann something like "sweetheart, you could have just said.." This thought makes me DEAD

a fic! somewhat obviously rated 18+/not for kids' eyes!!!!! so all hidden below the cut, lmfao. dedicated to people on side twitter bc boy do I love some light d/s + nerm

It’s not like Newt’s never looked at Hermann before. Look-looked, in like, a sexy, considering way. It gets lonely in the lab with just the two of them, after all, and usually Hermann is the only face Newt will see for hours, days, one memorable occasion when they were super-swamped with work, a week. His face is the only one that comes to mind when Newt wants to have sexy thoughts for that reason—it’s just, like, easier and takes less imagination to masturbate to the thought of the guy you see every day than anyone else. And Hermann is kind of hot, Newt guesses, in a weird, repressed nerd kind of way. He thinks it has something to do with not knowing what Hermann's bothering to repress so bad. Maybe he's got a hot bod under all those layers or sucks dick like a porn star or something. Or he's hiding how horny he is all the time and would love nothing more than to cut loose for once. (Newt would be happy to take one for the team!) It's gotta be that, because Newt can't imagine why else the thought of Hermann—scowling and hunching over a chalkboard in one of his god-awful tweed blazers—gets him so goddamn riled up every time he sticks his hand down his pants.

Whatever the appeal is, Newt's masturbatory fantasies tend to tilt towards very particular (and well-loved) scenarios: Hermann finally gets fed up with Newt’s obnoxious behavior and shoves him against a wall to teach him a lesson, or Hermann holds Newt down on a bed or the lab couch or the floor and has his way with him to teach him a lesson, or Hermann grips Newt’s shoulders and uses his mouth in any way he sees fit to teach him a lesson. Newt's real into the idea of Hermann being in control. Or, in other words, Hermann doing the doing, Newt doing the taking. Not that Newt is adverse to topping. He'd be down for it if Hermann was. (And not that Newt spends a lot of time considering what Hermann is down for, and whether or not letting Newt top him is on that list, but yeah, Newt does kind of hope it would be.)

He's just...always assumed Hermann would want things that way. Newt's kind of assumed that he would want them that way, too.

All of his preconceived sexy notions about Hermann come crashing down around him one completely ordinary day in the lab.

It happens in a flash, too. A couple of seconds max. Hermann is over in Newt's space (he flagrantly disobeys the tape line more than Newt does, no matter what he may claim), shouting at him about something dumb and waving his cane around for dramatic effect. Only he's not looking where he's waving it, and the end of it comes into contact with a vial of some somewhat lethal weird kaiju gland extract that Newt's been planning on experimenting with this week, and the whole thing fuckin' shatters. "Shit!" Newt says, at the same time Hermann says "Bugger," and, before Newt knows it, Hermann's reaching out to save a pile of Newt's lab notes from certain kaiju gland death.

Which is royally stupid of him. That stuff is already eating through Newt's wooden work bench like it's nothing—God knows what it'd do to Hermann's skin. Newt's messy notes are not worth it.

"Dude, no," Newt exclaims, and grabs Hermann's wrist to stop him.

And Hermann...moans.

They stare at each other. The kaiju gland extract drips to the metal floor, where it sizzles harmlessly.

Hermann pulls his arm away.

"Clean this up," he snaps. He turns heel and storms out, giving Newt a spectacular view of the fiery red flush spreading down the back of his neck.

Huh, Newt thinks. That's something new.

-----

"I'm not some sort of sexual deviant," Hermann assures him. "I have. Er. Entirely respectable—tastes. Typically."

"Uh-huh," Newt says.

"Only this is quite out of character for me," Hermann says.

Newt pulls his tie taut around Hermann's wrists to watch Hermann squirm and grins, just a little, before knotting it loosely. "No offense, Hermann," he says, "but bondage isn't exactly hardcore. Besides, it's fine if you like out-there kinda stuff. No judgement."

“But I don’t,” Hermann says.

“I’m not saying you do,” Newt says, “I’m saying—”

“And this isn’t bondage.” Hermann sniffs. “Bondage sounds—”

"Look, dude, do I need to gag you?" Newt jokes.

Except Hermann maybe doesn't get the joke: his eyes widen, and mouth hangs open. Not exactly the shouty, loud response and demand for respect Newt was expecting. Also something new. Newt's learning a lot of very, very unexpected things about Hermann, and part of him wishes he had a notebook or his tape recorder on hand to take inventory of all of it. Subject A (Hermann Gottlieb) likes having his wrists pinned and his big dumb mouth shut up. Conclusion: ? "I—I beg your pardon?" Hermann says.

Today marks a week after the kaiju gland incident. A week of furtive glances across the tape line, Hermann's badly-hidden blushes, and Newt reevaluating every single goddamn thing he's ever thought or assumed about the guy (and himself, to be honest), and Newt was finally the one to snap. In Newt's defense, it wasn't totally out of the blue. At lunch time an uncharacteristically quiet and bashful Hermann slid a cup of coffee onto Newt's desk, mumbling something about how Newt really needed to get more sleep, and Newt just...

Hermann didn't moan when Newt grabbed his wrists that time; his tongue darted out over his lips, and he looked at Newt through the dark eyelashes of his half-mast eyelids. "Please," he had said.

Newt gets why Hermann was being so weird and cagey about it, he really does. It’s hard to admit to yourself you want something kinda embarrassing, and Newt knows it’s just as embarrassing for Hermann to like him as it is for Newt to like Hermann. Newt’s weird, and small, and probably smells bad, and Hermann’s weird, and smells bad (cigarette smoke and moth-eaten sweaters, but Newt jerks off to it anyway, huh, doesn't he), and is slightly not as small. But holy shit, if he didn’t melt into a puddle when Hermann breathed that out all desperately, like it took all he had.

“Do you want me to gag you?” Newt says.

He’s using the skinny tie Hermann claims to hate so much on his wrists, or he might’ve seriously balled up the fabric and shoved it into Hermann’s mouth. There’s not much else in the way of gags readily on hand in the lab, no fabric scraps or anything like that. Maybe they’ll try it later. He kisses Hermann instead, slipping his tongue past those open lips, and Hermann parts them wider with a throaty groan. "Ah, Newton—"

Newt didn’t really expect their first kiss to go like this. He didn’t expect their first kiss to, like, happen in the first place, but it’s especially weird that it’s happening while Hermann is bound up and pressed up against his chalkboard. Newt's been keeping an eye on Hermann's leg, careful of any sign that it's going to give out and that they should move this to the couch, but Newt's knee between both of Hermann's seems to be all the support he needs. “I’m here, dude,” he says, and slips down to press a gentle kiss to Hermann’s jaw instead, then his neck. Hermann tilts his head back with another groan; he flexes against his restraints.

Is Newt the first person Hermann's ever done this with? Or trusted enough to tell he wants to do this?

The possibility kinda just makes this all hotter to Newt. He drags the tips of his fingers up Hermann's chest, feeling his heart pound through the thick layers of his button-down and sweatervest, and drags them back down. He stops just at Hermann's bound wrists. Hermann groans softly. "Do you want me to touch you more?" Newt says.

"Please," Hermann says, "ah, please, Newton—"

Newt does, smiling as he curls up on the toes of his boots and presses another kiss to Hermann's mouth. His right hand, he uses to ruck up Hermann's sweatervest and dig under his shirt; his left hand, he curls the fingers of in Hermann's skinny tie bindings to tug sharply. Hermann's chest is bony and warm beneath his palm. His heart is beating faster, and faster. "Please," Hermann begs again, and this time when Newt kisses him, he sags against Newt helplessly.

"Hermann," Newt murmurs. Hermann's breath is fogging up his glasses and making it difficult for him to see. Which is a goddamn shame, because Newt wants to, like, memorize the image of a flushed and panting and begging Hermann, tattoo it to his skin forever as a reminder of today, a whole big splash of color on his back where he was planning on putting another kaiju. Yeah, Newt takes back what he said earlier, Hermann isn't just kinda hot—he's very hot. He drags his tongue over Hermann's pulse point, and says, just as gently, "Hermann, you could've just said."

Newt would've done anything for Hermann when he grabbed Hermann's wrists and Hermann breathed out a simple please, and Newt would do anything for Hermann now. Newt would get every single tattoo removed if it meant making Hermann happy. He bites down on the sweaty, pale skin of Hermann's neck, unable to hold back a moan of his own when Hermann's whole body writhes with it, and shoves his hand down Hermann's oversized slacks.

"I want you to come," Newt mumbles, rubbing at him furiously, "I want you to come, I wanna make you come, I wanna—"

Hermann muffles his cry in Newt's shoulder when he does. Newt waits until he's stopped shaking to untie his wrists carefully, and isn't surprised when Hermann immediately grabs Newt's shoulders to steady himself. (Hermann thighs are still trembling from the awesome orgasm Newt gave him. It's pretty hot. But also, Newt should probably grab his cane for him.) "You—you've made a terrific mess of me," Hermann sniffs, vaguely annoyed, like he's reprimanding Newt for knocking a piece of kaiju intestine on the floor again.

Newt decides not to mention to Hermann that he kinda soaked the knee of Newt's jeans, too. He can do laundry later. "Sorry, man," Newt says, but Hermann gives another, happier sniff when Newt kisses his cheek. "I'll take care of it."

[the-cult-of-russo]

No Going Back (part 2)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader 

Request : Hey love, can you please do a part 2 to “no going back” where the reader is with a new partner that treats them better and shows how happy y/n is (after a few months of heart break) & billy is upset and dealing with the aftermath of his actions - regret - or not being able to find someone like reader. I’m in the mood for sad!billy because my heart broke for myself in the last one lmfao, they could meet again with y/nS new partner idk go crazy babe!

A/N: Welcome to the Land of Pain. Enjoy the deep rooted sadness and heartache lmao why am I so invested in Sad!Billy? Like really, let me give him a hug or something 😂 this one kind of took on a life of its own and I couldn't help the comforting at the end lmao sue me.

Also, I keep the description of the new partner vague so you can imagine whoever you want. Personally I was thinking Charlie Hunnam because 👀🙃 but this way you can picture whoever. 

Warnings: cursing, some angst, heaps of sadness and despair (for Billy), very much Sad!Billy. Lil bit of fluff too

You never thought you'd find happiness, not after Billy. But sometimes you find things when you least expect it, or they find you. You'd spent months healing after what happened with Billy and at times you honestly thought the pain wouldn't stop. The saving grace was the fact Billy actually kept his distance and didn't contact you. At first you weren't sure if that hurt more or not. But the clean break allowed you to heal and you knew deep down that's why he did it. It had been hard knowing he loved you, that he wanted to fix things. If he had just been an asshole then it would have been easier to get over him. You could hate him. But you couldn't. Part of you would always belong to him but you had to move on. And you did. 

Jacob was a great guy and you'd met through a friend. He took you on dates, doted on you. He was there and he listened and he treated you amazingly. And for the first time since Billy, you hadn't compared Jacob to him. Previous dates were always measured up to Billy but when you met Jacob, you didn't even think about your past lover. 

You'd been with Jacob now for 4 months, it being half a year since the split with Billy. Everything was looking up for you and you finally felt like things were on the right track. You still thought about Billy sometimes. Wondered if he was okay, what he was up to. You couldn't help it. You just hoped one day he'd find happiness too. It hurt that he hadn't allowed that with you but you hoped he'd let it happen with someone one day. 

-------

Billy had experienced pain in all forms in his life. The pain of abandonment from his mother, from the shit in the group home, being in the marines and everything after. He'd always dealt with it. Picked himself back up and moved on. He got back up every time and was always stronger for it. But this time… this time he was weak and he couldn't do a damned thing about it. 

Losing you, all through his own bullshit fault, had been by far the worst thing he'd ever been through. The worst kind of pain. Being shot in the heart would hurt less than the agony and waking hell that had been his life since you begged him to leave your apartment 6 months ago. It felt like only 6 days ago yet 6 years at the same time. It was a never ending spiral of darkness and despair. 

And it was all his own fault. His inability to just be a normal fucking human with emotions had ruined the best thing he ever had. He deserved this pain. He deserved every bit of it. He'd done a lot of bad shit in his life but this was the worst. He couldn't get your face out of his head. How you looked at him with such betrayal and hurt. And he'd caused that. He'd caused those tears to stream down your face, he'd caused that pain. So he'd wallow in his misery and take every inch of pain he was in because he deserved it all. 

He'd thrown it all away, and for what? The sex with the other women hadn't even been good. He hadn't enjoyed it because it wasn't you. And then after, the guilt would eat him alive. But he kept doing it. He couldn't stop himself because he was overwhelmed. He loved you. He actually fucking loved you and he didn't deserve you at all. He never thought he'd love anyone. Didn't think he was capable of such a thing, yet here he was. And he never thought in a million years that anyone would ever love him. His own mother didn't, so why would anyone else? He kept replaying over and over when you told him you loved him that day. The pain had ripped through him like C4. He'd fucked up so badly and he couldn't fix it. He'd finally had a taste of what it was like to be loved and to love someone and it was snatched away in a heartbeat because of his own actions. 

He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. He lost some weight and was well aware of the dark circles around his eyes. He'd taken to drinking every night just to numb the pain and hope your face didn't haunt his dreams. He hadn't even slept with another person since. He couldn't bring himself to. He was a mess. All he wanted was you and he couldn't have you. 

------

You and Jacob were on your way to a little cafe you frequented for lunch. You felt happy, radiant even as you both walked hand in hand. The weather was warming up and the sun bathed you in its warm glow as you walked. Everything felt right. Just as you got to the outside of the cafe, his phone rang. 

"Shit, I need to take this, babe," he sighed. You smiled up at him, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"It's okay. I'll see what they have today," you smiled. He gave you a wide smile, kissing you softly before he stepped away a bit to answer the phone. There was no anxiety. No wondering who he was talking to. You felt settled and content. 

You glanced through the window of the cafe where they displayed fresh baked sweet treats. They had different ones every day and you pressed up against the window, eyes glancing around as you tried to decide if you wanted a glazed donut or a cinnamon bun. Probably the donut.

"Y/N?" The shocked voice felt like a splash of cold water. You knew that voice anywhere. You turned around to see Billy, wide eyed as he stared at you. He looked… oh Billy. Your heart ached at the state of him. He was still in his fancy suit with his hair neat and slicked back. But he looked exhausted, his dark eyes sad. It hurt.

"Hey, Billy," you murmured with a soft smile. You thought about what it would be like if you saw him again. You thought it would bring all the pain back. The anger. But you were hurting for a different reason. You were hurting for him this time. 

He glanced at the floor, looking somewhat out of place and his usual confidence seemed to be left at home. When he glanced back up at you, looking at you through his lashes, he looked like a lost boy. 

"You look good," he said quietly. You smiled sadly, shifting where you stood. 

"You look tired," you countered softly. He chuckled, the noise hollow sounding and you'd be a liar if you said you didn't miss him. Part of you wondered if you could have stayed friends but you didn't think it would help.

"Yeah, I'm uh… not sleepin' so good," he shrugged like it was nothing and you frowned. 

"Billy-" you started, only to be cut off by Jacob coming back over and wrapping an arm around your waist. 

"Sorry, I'm done now," he smiled down at you, kissing your cheek. It wasn't done as a display of possessiveness like Billy would have. It was simply affection. But you saw how Billy's jaw clenched, eyes hardening as he looked at him.

"Uh… Jacob, this is Billy. Billy, this is Jacob," you said carefully. You didn't need to say that Jacob was your boyfriend. It was obvious and you didn't want to rub salt in Billy's wounds. Jacob's brows raised a little, arm moving from around you as he looked at Billy. 

"Oh. It's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard a lot about you," Jacob said amicably as he extended his hand. Billy glanced at it like it was a poisonous snake before glancing at you. You gave him an imploring look and he swallowed thickly before shaking Jacob's hand. 

"Nothin' good, I bet,'' Billy smiled bitterly. Ouch. That hurt. 

Jacob looked at Billy hesitantly with a small smile. 

"Actually… Y/N had nothing but good things to say about you. Except for how it all ended but… there were a lot of good things," Jacob said softly. It made you smile. You'd told him everything about you and Billy and he'd never seen it as an issue. And the fact he was trying here really meant something to you.

Billy looked taken aback for a moment before his face schooled back to the mask of indifference he'd wear often. He glanced at you then at Jacob again as Jacob gave your hand a squeeze.

"I'll get us a table and give you two a minute," Jacob murmured to you. It wasn't lost on you how he purposely didn't kiss you like he normally would. He wasn't petty. He wouldn't hurt Billy or rub it in his face. 

Once Jacob was inside you looked at Billy as he glared off to the side, hands stuffed in his pockets. 

"Billy… I'm sorry, I…" you frowned. You wished he hadn't found out this way. Not when you saw how badly he was hurting. He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head.

"Don't … Don't do that," he bit out. 

"Do what?" You asked with a frown. His obsidian eyes turned to you then, full of such pain and sadness that it felt like you'd been punched in the gut.

"Don't… apologise to me. I don't deserve shit," he muttered, jaw clenched. 

You took a step closer to him and he looked down at you, rolling his shoulder a little. 

"Look… you fucked up. It happened. But I don't … I don't hate you, okay? I never could. I don't want to see you hurting like this," you lamented. His lower lip wobbled a little before he clamped down on it with his teeth, glaring at the floor with glassy eyes. 

"You should hate me," he replied tensely. 

"Well I don't. I forgive you. I don't know if that's helps or anything but… you need to forgive yourself, Billy," you said as you moved closer, looking up at him. His eyes met yours for a moment before he looked away. 

He was so tense, hands in his pockets as his shoulders were set and his body was rigid. 

"Does he uh… he treat you good?" He asked, voice strained as his eyes drifted to the window of the cafe before back to you. You nodded, worried if you vocalised it that it might hurt him more. He scrunched his nose a little, his shoulder rolling again.

"He make you happy?" He asked quietly. It sounded like it brought him great pain to even ask and you looked away with a sigh.

"Billy…" you frowned, not wanting to answer. 

"Just… please. Does he make you happy?" He asked again, a little firmer this time. You met his eyes as you nodded. 

His jaw ticked as he nodded stiffly, glaring off to the side.

"Good… good, you deserve to be happy," he muttered softly. 

"So do you," you replied sincerely. Black eyes snapped to yours then as he scoffed. He opened his mouth to no doubt say something fueled by self hatred but you spoke before he had the chance. 

"I'm serious. I want you to be happy, Billy. You need to allow yourself to feel things and one day you'll get that. You'll find happiness one day," you implored.

He blinked at you for a moment, his eyes shining from moisture.

"I want that with you. And I know… I know I can't. I know we can't fix this. But I just… I don't think I could find that with someone else," he admitted softly. He looked so sad and it was wounding you. You hated seeing him so vulnerable and lost like this. It was so far from the Billy you knew and loved. This Billy was the Billy that woke from nightmares about the group home or from when he was overseas. The Billy you'd comforted many times before. It always hurt you when this side of him was out. 

"There'll always be a part of my heart with your name on it, Billy. I'm sorry it didn't work out but it doesn't mean I don't care at all," you breathed. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a shaky breath at your words. 

"This… this is why I never deserved you. You're too good for me, too kind and… caring. I don't deserve somethin' precious like you. I don't deserve anythin' good," he muttered bitterly. You knew this spiral well. How he got in his own head and went down the rabbit hole of hating himself. 

You took another step towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You just wanted him to be okay. To stop hurting. He may have hurt you, broke your heart, but you didn't want this for him. You wanted to comfort him and this was the only way you knew how. You felt his arms wrap around you, one fisting your shirt and the other in your hair as he held you close. He buried his nose in your hair and inhaled deeply. 

"Stop hating yourself. Do it for me. I hate seeing you like this," you whispered forlornly as you held onto him tightly. 

His hand in your hair tightened a little and you could feel a slight tremor running through his body. 

"I'm a mess without you," he lamented, slightly muffled by your hair. 

"You need to allow yourself to move on," you replied softly. You went to move away but his arms tightened and you allowed him to hold you a moment longer. He'd called you his anchor once. You hadn't really believed him but now it seemed like he was floating away and you were the only thing tethering him here. 

He pressed a kiss to your hair before releasing you but you didn't step back too far as you blinked up at him. 

"Maybe we… maybe we can…" he trailed off uncertainly and your chest constricted painfully. You really hoped he wasn't going to ask for another chance because shooting him down in the state he was in would kill you. 

"I wanna… could we be friends? I won't… I won't get in the way or anythin', I just… maybe if I could text you sometimes? Just to know you're okay?" He asked hesitantly as his dark orbs flit to the window of the cafe before back to you.

You weren't sure if it was a great idea. You didn't know if it would help if you were honest.

"Billy… I don't know if that's a good idea," you murmured sadly. His eyes bore into you, pleading and desperate.

"Please? I know that I-I can't have you. Not the way I want. But I need you in my life, even just as a friend. You not bein' there at all… it's left a gaping hole and I…" his hand went to his chest, rubbing over where his heart was. 

"Okay, you can text me if you need me. But only as friends," you relented, stating the last part firmly. A small smile graced his face then, eyes lighting up ever so slowly. You hoped this wouldn't be a bad idea. 

"I appreciate it. And… as much as it hurts… to see you with… Jacob. I am happy for you," he said Jacob's name like it pained him but his eyes were sincere as he looked at you. It made you smile a little. 

"Thank you, Billy," you murmured. He gave you another small hesitant smile as he nodded.

"I'll uh… let you get back," he said with a nod. Without thinking, you wrapped your arms around him again, around his middle this time as your head rested on his chest. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you tightly. His hand going to your hair like it always did. You could hear the rapid thumping of his heart in your ear. 

"It was good seeing you," you said softly. You meant it too. 

You always thought it would be difficult seeing him again, and it was in a way. It hurt seeing him this cut up about it. But it wasn't how you imagined it would go. You weren't angry at him, you didn't feel the same pain you did on that day. The only pain you felt was for the broken man in holding you. You wanted to comfort him and you'd missed him. He'd been a constant in your life for a while, even before you officially got together. 

"It was good seein' you too," he sighed, squeezing you a little. When you stepped back, he gripped your face and for a moment it startled you. But he planted a firm kiss to your forehead before stepping back. Once again, you allowed him that. You couldn't help it. 

You gave him a soft smile and he returned it with a sad one of his own. You forced your feet to move as you made your way into the cafe. Jacob was sitting there patiently waiting at a table with a coffee and a donut waiting for you. You grinned at him as you sat down and he leaned over to kiss your cheek.

"Everything okay?" He asked softly, stroking your cheek.

"Yeah," you sighed. You really hoped Billy would forgive himself for everything that happened. He didn't need to punish himself like this. 

"Good… he'll get over it one day. Just give him some time, babe," Jacob murmured as if he knew what you were thinking. You gave him a warm smile as you laced your fingers with his. 

You hoped he was right. You hoped that being friends with Billy would work and maybe help him. You still weren't sure if it was a good idea or not but he seemed adamant it would help him. It was hardly how you ever imagined it would go but it was how the cards fell. All you could do was wait and see what happened and hope that maybe you could help Billy through it. It was kind of upside down and all ass upwards. Helping the man that broke your heart get over you. But you still cared about him and you'd do whatever you could to help him through it.